#Fei is gingerbread now

[nocturnesword]

Xenogears

[mrapplethorn]

Artificers that don’t use tech

One of the classes of which it doesn’t always feel like it belongs in your (or the adventure’s) world is the Artificer. Its name does not imply that though, we all know the Artificer in Dungeons and Dragons is a person that combines steampunk-esque contraptions with the magic found in most D&D worlds. An Artificer should be, according to the word’s description, a trickster or an immoral craftsman of clever devices. Confining this description to a person that uses metal contraptions to cast spells feels a bit shallow, so here are a few ideas you can use to build your next Artificer.

Art by Kris Theorin (left) and Lily Abdullina (right)

The Gingerbread Man’s Baker

Battle Smith Artificer – Cook’s Utensils

Delirious Barnsforth started out as a simple cook, working for a local noble family. Wanting more out of life, he accidently poisoned the lord and lady of the house. He fled into the forest where he met a benevolent Hag. She gave him shelter and taught him the basics of spellcasting. Delirious showed some affinity for the arcane arts, but he lacked in creativity.

Only after he discovered that there was a way to combine spellcasting with cooking did he really become a force to be reckoned with. His first ‘Steel Defender’ was a blob of dough that he somehow managed to trap a fey spirit in. These days he is known for bringing to life the famous Gingerbread Man.

How to play him

If you have spent one second on the internet, you know there are people on there that love to correct everyone that says Frankenstein when they mean Frankenstein’s Monster. Likewise, Delirious also corrects anyone that calls him anything but The Gingerbread Man’s Baker.

Every spell Baker Barnsforth casts is somehow shaped like a cook’s utensil, food, or other items you’d find in a kitchen.

Delirious, as an Artificer with the Battle Smith subclass, has a steel defender, although his is not made of steel but of dough, and in the shape of his oh-so-famous Gingerbread Man.

Art by Marcin Kulesza (left) and Dan Dossantos (right)

The Tatted Artificer

Armorer Artificer – Painter’s Supplies

Born without a shred of magic in her bones, Diana Jones studied to become an archeologist. Her interests also lied with art and painting, tattooing in particular. So, when she stumbled upon a mysterious dark fluid within a buried temple her first thought was to test it on her skin.

How to play her

Every feature, feat, spell, and ability of the Tatted Artificer is represented by a tattoo on her body. As shown in the image the spell Shadow Blade could manifest as a set of removable scimitar tattoos on your characters back.

The armor she would need to wear to gain her subclass abilities has taken the form of tattoos also.

If you play in a campaign where money has a prominent place, You and your DM have to agree on some things. Armor is a big aspect of the Armorer Artificer. Something we just replaced with tattoos. The easiest step is to keep the cost of an armor improvement but let it technically be an added tattoo.

Art by Alejandro García

The Snake Oil Salesman

High Elf Alchemist Artificer

Smoke billows from their workshop. The Healer of Harkonen goes by many names. But most people know them as Dietrich the Knife-eared Snake oil Salesman. Tall tales of their past are whispered in taverns. They speak of an elf who brought down the destruction of an ancient city with their disease-spreading elixirs. What the stories leave out however is that this simple alchemist does not work alone. They and their twin have travelled the world, fought beasts, and harvested magical components. Now they run a shop that sells miracle potions, miracle in the fact that you will never truly know what happens when drinking them.

How to play them

Dietrich or their sibling do not contribute to a fight with their physical skills. Their spells take on the form of potions, salves, and other concoctions. A fireball for example could be akin to a Molotov Cocktail.

Art by Oleksandr Kozachenko (left) and Victor Titov (right)

The Woodsman

Plasmoid/Reborn Artillerist Artificer

Once a man, the creature now only known as the Woodsman, is a hulking green figure. Raised as an orphan in a Druid Circle, his past is not well documented. His abilities are druid-like but also very alien to them. The forest is his home and the object of his protection. When provoked he breaks of pieces of himself that can act on their own and can only be described as vinelike cannons.

How to play him

The Woodsman has a lot in common with the Oath of the Ancients Paladin, you could even use the tenets of this subclass to guide you in your actions.

The spells the Woodsman casts all thematically link back to his plant-based nature.

[darethxshiral]

@senatusstarters​

location: Fates’

notes: baddie bar starter

By now it was known around the supernatural community that a necromancer owned the establishment, that the backroom was a hub of traffic for dark magic and the relics associated with it. Despite the predilections towards the dark, that had not stopped the staff from decorating for the holidays - it was almost macabre to imagine the rot that permeated this place could be covered with some fancy dressing. Expensive holiday cocktails and an elaborate tree that towered over the bar, fully decked out for the season. Dirthara didn’t understand the holiday or what the mortals were celebrating, but he appreciated the decor and the line of special drinks he’d been working his way through since his arrival. 

 Were the creature more emotionally intelligent then he might have recognized his behavior as an attempt at nursing a broken heart. Failed as it was, Dirthara had come to realize that he thoroughly enjoyed the drinks here, there was an abundance of delicious things in the mortal realm that weren’t present in the Underdark. Sweets were another favorite of his, he had a bag of pastries from Canal Cakes beside him that he was not-so-quietly mowing through. 

Something, something, Ayi’ig would come through and smite this world. Something, something, the drow would rule over the fey and they would know a night that would never end. Something this, something that. Dirthara was tired, the memories of his past life muddled with the memories of his current life. He was a priest of Lloth, a general in the army of Menzoberranzan, and now he was so depressed that he’d spent the better part of the day drinking gingerbread-shortbread-peppermint-inspired cocktails. 

[ensembleoocnsfanyonereally]

I feel called out...

[captmickey]

The Three Adventurers in their gobliny outfits (Bluebeard and Peter Pan).

Goblins loved stories. This Graham learned the brutally hard way. From tight itchy ropes to random broomsticks hitting him on the shins, they loved their stories and more importantly, loved recreating them. He had to commend them for that, for going the distance and making sure the details were relatively accurate using the method of ‘use what’s surrounding you’ (especially so when everything down here was worn from time and weather), but sometimes their method was… intense. Both props and acting methods. He took one look at the pirate beside him who seemed to focus on his current hair color that had now matched his coat, the gold that was his hair occasionally peeking through from where the ribbon tied it back or where the paint had failed to reach.

“Does paint come out of hair?” Guybrush asked, rubbing slightly the edges of his stiff yet wavy blue bangs.

“I’d imagine? I mean, you got tar out according to the story about the gold statue you told me and Link.” Graham pointed out. “I’d imagine paint would be easier.”

“Yeah, but I had to use grease.” He frowned. “Took me weeks to get the smell out.”

The story, Graham learned from the pirate, was the recreation of Bluebeard. And apparently, the goblins never got the memo regarding what the story was actually about… just knew that he was a pirate and his hair was blue. From the goblins’ perspective, Guybrush already met half the criteria, but the other half the goblins had to correct. With a bucket of paint.

“Blue suits you though. Brings out your eyes.” Graham tried to make light, rewarding himself with a side-eye glance from Guybrush.

The blue, however, reminded Graham of his now missing adventure cap. True, he had to swap out his current headwear from the familiar and somewhat battered feathered cap for a shinier and heavier one, and the latter was more important for a slew of reasons… he couldn’t help but hope that the goblins were taking good care of it. But knowing his luck and knowing who was the current owner of it, it was a gamble at best and it wasn’t looking too good.

“So if I get it right…” Guybrush spoke, cutting Graham from his thoughts. “The goblins are all creating a multi-act play?”

“Role-playing, more like but yeah.” Graham confirmed. “The Hobblepotts are the evil witches from fairy tales, the Feys are the gingerbread man, and Amaya is the big bad blacksmith.” He looked at Guybrush. “You’re clearly Bluebeard.”

“Clearly.”

He chuckled. “Now we just need to figure out what Link’s story is.”

“Is it weird that I’m actually curious to see what the little rock monsters have in store for him? Think of the potential.”

“Heh, yeah. I just… hope he’s okay.” Graham fiddled with his hands. “They can be um… rough.”

“Tell me about it.” Guybrush flexed his wrist slightly. “They really don’t have a giveaway about just how strong they are.”

Graham looked over, saw the making of rope burn and a bruise against the bracelet scar.

“What fairy tale did they make you do?”

The king scoffed. “Which fairy tale didn’t they make me do? I got red riding hood, frog prince, princess and the pea…” Graham started listing off but he stopped when he heard goblins talking and quickly yanked at the pirate to hide behind a rock. Before Guybrush could ask what that was about, Graham put a finger against his lips, shushing his friend and pointed. There was a sound of laughter, cackling more like, and applauds, but if they listened more closely, they could hear grunts.

“Link!” The two gasped, making sure their voices didn’t bounce off the walls to alert the goblins. They stayed still when the goblins started getting more aggressive with their tone (or at least, assumed so… it was difficult to differentiate when they were excited or frustrated) and ran out of the room, presumably giggling. Or threatening. Whichever was the case, it left the room they were in empty sans Link and the two quickly made a run towards the new area.

The room was, for lack of a better word, a jumbled mess. With cut out boards depicting what Guybrush could only guess was clouds and trees and a bunch of rope laying about, they looked around for a cell. Graham noticed in the far corner one such cell with a familiar blue cap laid to the ground inside.

“My hat!” Graham gasped and rushed over, picking it up gently and brushing off any dirt. He examined it for any damages, any tears that might need mending… instead he noticed the biggest glare of damage. “Hey… where’s the feather?” He flipped the hat over, wondering if it was inside. He looked at the cell, trying to spot a familiar red that wasn’t his cape and frowned. “Where’s my feather?”

“And Link for that matter.” Guybrush added. “I thought I heard him…”

“Did you try looking up?”

The two flung their heads up when they spotted the Hylian. Strung up like a tangled marionette by a series of thick ropes, Link dangled over them with a look that could be best described as sheer annoyance with a bag tied to his hip and, most importantly, a red feather taped to his green cap.

“Link, you’re alright!” Graham beamed.

“Define ‘alright’, Graham.” He huffed.

“Erm, well… not locked up in a cage?” He scratched his cheek sheepishly.

“If you put it like that, then yes. I’m alright. I’m not a cell… just dangling over the floor in a mid-air suspension.”

“Ah, so I take it you don’t enjoy just hanging around.” Guybrush smirked.

“Guybrush, I will kick you.”

“Aw, c’mon, no need to be so soar about it.” Graham snickered, unable to resist from joining in.

Link closed his eyes and took a very deep breath. “I’m in hell. I don’t know what I did, but this is some sort of punishment.”

“So what play are you supposed to be?” The pirate asked.

“You tell me, Bluey.” Link snapped. He sighed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to snap. In all honesty, I have no idea, they just started screaming and went into a frenzy and the next thing I knew I found myself tied up and flung around from one side of the room to the other and yelled at for not tossing dirt from the bag at them.”

Graham tapped at his chin, tilting his head. Green attire, his red feather, dangling in the air, the dirt bag… the fact that it’s Link… the king snapped his fingers and grinned. “Peter Pan!”

The two looked at Graham but it was Guybrush who broke into a laughing fit.

If looks could kill, the pirate would be dead then and there from the way the Hylian was glaring. “And what are you supposed to be with the blue hair and beard? A blueberry?”

“Bluebeard.”

“Who?”

The sounds of scrambling and shouting was heard in the distance and the three looked over, realizing they had a short amount of time to either get Link out or to hide for the next few minutes.

“Uh… guys?” Link looked at them. “Help maybe?”

“R-right, right hold on.” Guybrush looked around, trying to move props to see where the latch was but time was running out. “Link, I need you to stall them with playtime while Graham and I look around for a latch.”

“What?! How am I suppose to delay them when I don’t know what they want?!”

“I’m sure some magical fairy will help out.” Guybrush winked and followed some of the rope, seeing where it led.

“Guybrush, I swear–”

“No, listen. You’re supposed to be Peter Pan, and they want you tossing magic fairy dust at them. That’s the uh… the dirt.” Graham explained. “Just toss dirt and be all whimsy.”

“You say that like it’s a Tuesday.”

“It is in Daventry.” Graham shrugged. He looked over his shoulder and heard them quickly approaching. “Uh, Guybrush?”

“No dice… it’s all tangled to make heads or tails.”

Link’s ears twitched at the approaching goblins. “ No, don’t you dare not finish the job. If you don’t let me down soon, I’m going to dump a ton of fairy dust on your blue head!”

“I’m trying but I’m out of time, Peter.” The blue-haired pirate looked at Link. “You’re gonna have to give another theatrical performance.”

“Remember, whimsy and dirt!” Graham reminded and rushed to hide behind a rock.

“Break a leg!” Guybrush gave a thumbs up and joined the king.

“Wh- hey, wait, no, don’t you–!” Link stopped when the goblins returned, clambering and shouting gibberish he simply did not understand.

The two hid in the shadows behind a rock, watching carefully for any openings to see if they could move around from backstage.

“I wish I had popcorn with me, this is hilarious.” Guybrush whispered to Graham.

“Yeah… a little bit.” Graham whispered back. “This is some high prop work.”

Link’s ear twitched and he shot a glare their way. The two had to clamp each other’s mouth to stop from snickering.

[curewhimsy]

So a lot of the “creature” characters in Toca Life World are really cool and whimsical so I thought about names and “headcanons” for them and might even work them into OCs or something lol? (They won’t have that exact design though if I do.)

I also modified and changed the clothes and hair of some of these characters.

Front row-

The sloth furry is Ponderosa. I chose the name because it has ponder in it, and sloths are slow and look like they’re always pondering. But Ponderosa is actually always rushing and on top of stuff, and says her name doesn’t really fit her.

The octopus kid is Takoma. It’s sort of a pun on Tacoma... but it’s a Japanese name. Tako means octopus in Japanese and a lot of boys’ names end in -ma. It’s written in katakana. His name in kanji looks like 蛸真. Takoma is a clumsy, friendly kid who likes eating, swimming, playing, and taking naps.

The third one on the bottom row looks kind of like garlic so I call him Gnocchi. I also think that Gnocchi sounds like Pinocchio, so I headcanon that when he lies, the tip on his head grows.

The kitten furry in the front row is named Kitsch. He has a personality like Nico Yazawa. He is very sassy and wants everyone to love him, and is convinced that he is the cutest thing in the world. I also sort of based that off the popularity of Raymond in Animal Crossing, since he is also a gray cat.

The scarecrow girl’s name is Patchouli. I chose the name because it has Patch in it. Patchouli is a bit like Pinocchio (this is the second time I mentioned Pinocchio...) and wants to be a “real girl.” However, she feels this is impossible because there are so many things about humanity she doesn’t understand.

I headcanoned the elves in this game to be a special race of elf creature known as a Wood Fey, which is different from the other humanoid elves, including Alvarina. Wood Fey are more like pixies and can have non-humanoid skin tones and features. The white-haired one is named Siona, and the pink-haired one is Rindra. I made their names up and didn’t base them on any existing words or culture. They are sisters. Rindra is younger than Siona, and more careless. Also, while Siona is more mature, she is more shy.

The cut yellow axolotl monster creature who looks like he could be a Pokemon is named Kirappi. I purposefully named him as a Pikachu rip-off/reference. Kirappi is curious and playful. He has the powers of stars.

The stylish skeleton that I dressed up is named Bonito, after well... bones. I originally wanted to name him after a font for an Undertale reference, but... that would be kinda plagiaristic idk.

The gingerbread lady is Ginger Snap. She lives in Sweetopia in Princess Candy’s castle. 

The pug furry is Pucker. I named him that because it was supposedly a synonym for wrinkle (verb.)

The fox furry is Crafty. Her name is another word for cunning

The back row-

The hyena furry now in the back (who is probably another fox, but I want them to be a hyena, and also non-binary) is Hilari. Their name is a shortening of the word hilarious.

The polar bear furry is Iggy. She is named after an igloo.

The enchanted water (yes, I made up that term and that she is enchanted water), is named Droplet.

The mountain man (literally shaped like a mountain) is Everett, named after Mount Everest.

The little mountain boy is Fujio, named after Mount Fuji. He is Everett’s adopted son, and can speak Japanese.

The purple frog monster is Gaston, named after poisonous gas.

[magaprima]

A Midwinter’s Tale Episode Thoughts

Lilith’s first scene is her actually praying, in full on Christian parallel, though of course she’s praying to Satan. I find it interesting and very revealing that someone so close to Lucifer, his foot soldier, his concubine, someone who has been at his right hand side since the beginning, has to go through regular old prayer to reach out to him. Now, we know from a later episode, that because Lucifer was not born a God, he’s not omniscient or omnipotent, so he can’t be just listening into the prayer by chance, so despite it looking like a regular prayer, I suspect it’s actually a form of spell, and the clasped hands are a nice visual for Lilith’s devotion (and desperation), but it is distancing. It shows us that even though she does everything for him, she is at the back of the queue so-to-speak, just like everyone else. She doesn’t get the special treatment and attention she has rightfully earned. 

“Answer me, I did what you asked, Sabrina signed her name in your Book of the Beast. Why have you forsaken me? Why have you not called me home to the Pit?”

This is all very revealing of what Lilith’s true relationship is, that she is more servant than foot soldier, that she has become what she initially refused to be for the False God. She has become, to use an ASOIAF term, a Kneeler (which as a choice of phrase, has it’s own related connotations). Also the pronoun useage and phrasing here shows how much she isn’t simply working with Satan, she is being ordered by him, it’s here that we see how little of what she did in Part 1 was not her own choice (we know she really doesn’t care about Sabrina signing a Book, or having an apocalypse etc) and is not even under instuction or guidance, but under order. 

You know ‘I did what you asked’ is very abuse victim reasoning. Look I did this thing you asked me to do, and now you approve of me, right? And now I won’t be punished and maybe you’ll like me and I won’t have to be punished again and everything will be better. A lot of victim of domestic abuse constantly reason that if they do this one thing, fulfil this one request, then things will go back to how they were in the beginning and the abuser will stop being so cruel and treat them like an equal again, lovingly (and, in Lilith’s case, give her a crown). 

This whole sentence is all about possessives and shows how much Lucifer owns. I did what you asked. Signed her name in your Book of the Beast. Why have you not called me home. All possessive and ownership. Even returning home has to be at his instruction, not her own free will. 

“Has my mission changed? Say the word. Give my life meaning. Give me a sign”

God this sentence makes me thing, the whole ‘Give my life meaning’ is just vomit-inducing, the idea that Lilith’s life has no meaning beyond what the Dark Lord allows her. But that is exactly what her life has been since he changed and become the ‘twisted thing of darkness’. She has no existence beyond him, he is everything to her, because he has ensured that he is all she has. We can presume the whole killing Adam and making her eat him is not the first time that sort of thing has happened in order to stop her making emotional connections outside of Lucifer. 

After she says ‘give me a sign’ Sabrina walks in and we presume, from the way she smiles at the girl and says her name, that Lilith thinks this 'sign’ of Sabrina entering is from the Dark Lord and that she’s needed to do some more Sabrina-related shit, but it could be theorised, from an audience standpoint, that actually the sign is Sabrina herself, trying to tell Lilith there are other people out there to attach herself to, that there are other viewpoints and attitudes and experiences out in the world other than the singular one she has known. But, Lilith seems, currently, oblivious to that concept and seems instead to be genuinely pleased that, apparently, the Dark Lord has another task for her, that her ‘life has meaning’, so when she smiles at Sabrina it’s genuine and eager. 

“Remember when I went to Limbo?” “Vividly”

Lilith’s expression here is all prepared, it’s her whole act of the tired yet affectionate mentor who remembers the insanity her student drags her on, but when Sabrina adds she saw her Mother there, Lilith’s whole face falls like ‘well that’s brand new information I didn’t want to hear’, she just has a full wide-eyed oh shit expression, but thankfully, Sabrina is too busy personal monologuing to notice, because Lilith looks nervous as hell a she continues to effect being all ‘really? how interesting and shocking. hmmm’ And then Sabrina makes it even worse by adding she wants to do a seance to reach her. Lilith’s breathing is shallow and mildly panicked, like she thought she was done with all this, but Sabrina just throws more issues. Lilith is trying to think as quickly as possible here. 

“And there’s no way I’m going to dissuade you, is there?”

I think this question is totally genuine, like there’s not a hope in heaven I’m going to stop you doing this and make my life easier? She knows Sabrina at this point and she knows that means she’ll go through with it. 

“And if I deny you, you’ll just ask your chums at the Academy for a Book of the Dead, won’t you?”

Yeah, Lilith knows Sabrina extremely well.

“Well then, who am I to keep a daughter from her mother?”

Translation: well, what other choice do I have but to let you fucking do it and just try and sabotage it instead. 

“But, Sabrina, be careful. Mind nothing unspeakable breaks through with your Mumsy”

She’s already sewing the seeds of the idea that things can wrong, that bad things can get in, so that when Lilith does sabotage it, Sabrina won’t be suspicious, she’ll think it’s just a downside of the seance. Also...’mumsy’??

“Thanks for the book, Ms Wardwell. You’re the best”

Another genuine thanks from Sabrina and Lilith dismisses it and can’t look at her directly as she does so. She’s playing a part, it’s true, but after the exorcism incident I think genuine thanks make Lilith so uncomfortable, because no one else has given them, that she can’t look at Sabrina when they happen, because it’s too unsettling for one, but it makes lying to her more complicated.

“Oh Stolas, a demoness’ work is never done, is it?”

No doubt she now thinks this is why the Dark Lord hasn’t called her home yet. She’s now able to reason that she hasn’t been forgotten or dismissed, but that she has more important work to do. Also, the fact she has stuffed Stolas and still speaks to him is her yet again, holding onto connections that have long since died (metaphorically in the case of the Dark Lord, literally in the case of Stolas). We get the vibe in Part 1 that Stolas (who might be more demon than familiar, if we consider his name origins) perhaps often belittles Lilith, reminding her that the Dark Lord doesn’t think her worthy etc, it might even be possible he was a spy before he was resurrected, we don’t know, but either way, she was driven to snap his neck in a fit of rage...and yet still she keeps him. Stuffs him and still speaks to him. This shows she’s someone who doesn’t shake connections off easily, but also that she is lonely, that she has no true companion of any variety, no one to talk to, and that is a very, very lonely existence. 

“Who knows what disturbing things Mommy Dearest might say to her daughter fair?”

What things is Lilith thinking of? That Diana would reveal who Lilith really is? Or is it something darker? Perhaps the circumstances behind her death? Something even Lilith hasn’t thought of herself?

“And after we’ve just got her to sign on the dotted line”

Lilith shows real panic after saying this, hand to mouth, eyes wide. Lilith really, genuinely fears the idea that Sabrina will suddenly retract her signature, or something else will go wrong due to Diana, because if anything does change and/or go wrong, Lilith is the one who will be blamed and the Dark Lord would be angry and unmerciful. So Lilith determinedly sets into action; ‘No, best to interrupt the proceedings, I think’ she declares, and we can already see her mind whirring with ideas. She’s a quick plotter. 

And then we come to the Gingerbread House and it’s inhabitants. Unless Lilith’s magical prowess involves being able to summon gingerbread creations out of thin air, for the purpose of this yuletide spell, Lilith freaking baked a bunch of gingerbread in Mary Wardwell’s kitchen, and then put it together and decorated it. Like, that is a hysterical image, so I don’t care if there’s a less crazy alternative theory, this is the one I accept; that Lilith spent hours baking sweet treats and decorating them. A process in which she decided Hilda should have green hair. 

“Warden of the longest night, fey things fear the Yule fire’s light. But Yule flame dead and portals laid bare, now darkness comes to trick and to tear”

This spell is oddly haunting and festive, like it’s an enjoyable spell. But I also always enjoy when Lilith uses her witchy side rather than her demonic side, because that’s who she is originally, and her spells are always more old-school reflecting how long she’s been a witch, and I just enjoy it. Although, when my Mum and I first watched this episode on Winter Solstice, my Mum went ‘Oh well that’s not fair. You light a Yule Log, it stays lit. Putting it out with brandy down a gingerbread chimney isn’t fair’ so she was very annoyed by the invasive nature of that spell, haha. 

The final Lilith scene where she eats the gingerbread I think proves that she baked it all and the reason why; to eat it. Also, I love that Lilith is a Dunker. Pops that Sabrina gingebread girl right in her tea. 

[totallyrhettro]

Ravenvale, Chapter 6

Word Count: 2265 Rating: This chapter: general; overall story: explicit Warnings: None Summary: On their way home from another case, Agent Seaborne and Agent Roach find themselves in the strange, fog-covered town of Ravenvale. Notes: Seaborne and Roach AU where, years after the events seen in the YouTube series, they manage to become FBI agents.

Also available on ao3

First Chapter Previous Chapter

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Roach was a bit dumbfounded at the news the librarian had just given him, to say the least. Not quite shocked, but more than a little confused as to why anyone would lie about having an uncle. Then again, this gentleman was behaving rather strangely. Maybe he was mistaken; perhaps he wasn’t all there, in a manner of speaking. After a second or two the stranger seemed to forget his own surprise and went back to looking over the FBI agent before him. Roach cleared his throat.

“Anyway, I was told that you knew something about, uh…. little people? In the fog?” Instead of answering, ‘uncle’ began investigating Roach’s suit, feeling the fabric and turning over what he could to get a better look. “Mr…?”

“Deneir,” the stranger filled in, not looking up from Roach’s seemingly interesting tie. He turned over a lapel, revealing the inner pocket, and before Roach could stop him, pulled out a wallet.

“Hey!” Roach tried to grab it back but Mr. Deneir was quick, stepping out of reach before opening up the wallet and looking inside. Roach’s badge was unmistakable and Mr. Denier's eyes widened at the sight.

“FBI?” he asked, actually looking at Roach this time. Roach nodded, stepping closer in the hopes that Mr. Deneir would now give back the wallet. “You’re investigating Ravenvale?”

“Uh, yes,” Roach lied. His hopes that now this strange man would finally answers some questions raised slightly. “My partner and I just arrived today. What can you tell me about what’s going on?” Deneir’s eyes shone with excitement and a grin appeared on his face as he placed the walled on the counter, ignoring Roach’s outstretched hand. He scurried back into the next room, leaving the FBI agent rather confused. Snatching up his wallet and tucking it away, Roach rushed to catch up.

The library was decently sized, with rows and rows of bookcases filling most of the main floor. A mezzanine level overlooked the open space with shorter shelves, tables and computers set up as well. The entire place was certainly set up to be a library, but as Roach stepped into the room he noticed that something was amiss. Dozens if not hundreds of books lie scattered across the floor, littering between the shelves and isles with no rhyme or reason for how they’d been toss about. Deneir moved about them, quickly but delicately, looking for something in particular. Finally he grabbed up the only open book and made his way back to the rather dumbfounded agent.

“I’ve been doing research-” he began with a strong tone of detachedness. Roach couldn’t hold back a soft chuckle.

“I can see that.” He did his best to avoid the piles and piles of books in order to reach over and take the offered one. The page was opened to two pages lined with very small text and an artistic rendering of a very familiar figure. “The tiny woman,” he whispered. It was obviously hand-drawn, and there was zero sense of scale, but the form was unmistakable. Deneir nodded enthusiastically, tapping the image a few times for emphasis.

“They live in the mist,” he explained. “You’ve seen them?” Roach nodded, not looking away from the drawing for a moment. “Everyone says I’m crazy, but I know… I know the truth. I’ve seen them, too.” His curiosity peaked, Roach couldn’t help but smile himself. He hoped that finally, at long last, he’d found something real. Something that couldn’t be explained by science or reason. Something… alien.

“What are they?” His hopes hadn’t been this high since the Navy reported unusual sightings off the coast of Florida back in 2015. Those hopes were a bit lowered when Deneir answered his question.

“Leirans,” he stated. “Fey, fairies, sprites,” he continued. Each word make Roach’s hope fade further. Fey? Fairies? As in, mythical creatures?

“So…” he began, still clinging to the last shred of hope in his heart. “N-not aliens?” Deneir shook his head vigorously before answering.

“Nope.” Roach’s face fell. “Leirans. Much worse.” Deneir stepped away, bending down to sift through his massive pile of books, obviously looking for something else. “They worship the Lady of the Mist.” He looked up, briefly, to add: “Get it?”

“Right,” Roach agreed, absentmindedly. He looked back to the drawing, trying to decide if this was indeed what he had seen in the fog. “Mist.” He had so hoped he had finally discovered proof of aliens. Still, it wasn’t a total loss. Fairies weren’t aliens, but they weren’t human either. They weren’t Bigfoot, or the Chupacabra, but they were mythical. Roach wanted to- needed to know more. “What do they want?”

Deneir didn’t seem to hear him as he scoured the massive inventory before him, trying to find some elusive book, so Roach repeated the question louder. Eventually Deneir looked up, his eyes slightly glazed over as he took in the sight of the tall man who was speaking to him.

“The book- the book!” he exclaimed. “Just read the book. I’m reading.” He was, in fact, not reading but still looking for whatever book he probably wanted to read, but Roach took his advice anyway.

“Fairy, also known as Fey, Fairfolk or sprites,” he read aloud. “Are mythical beings from Europeon folklore. They are a form of spirit, often described as metaphysical, supernatural, or preternatural.” He paused, thinking about this. “Preternatural… like demons? Witches?” Deneir, of course, didn’t answer. Roach read on. “While their true form is unknown, they often appear as humanoid, small in stature, with magical powers, and a penchant for trickery.”

“Tricksters!” Deneir suddenly shouted from across the room. Roach looked up, expecting more, but Deneir wasn’t even looking up.

“A common feature of the fairies is the use of magic to disguise appearance,” the passage continued. “Fairy gold is notoriously unreliable, appearing as gold when paid but soon thereafter revealing itself to be leaves, gorse blossoms, gingerbread cakes, or a variety of other comparatively worthless things.”

“Fake gold, fake treasures, fake, fake, fake…” By now Roach had learned to ignore Deneir’s random bouts of input and moved on to the next paragraph.

“While they rarely interact with humans, more playful fey have been known to play tricks on people.” So far Roach didn’t see any proof that the woman he’d seen was playing a trick. Unless… “Do you think fairies are causing the fog?” At last Deneir paused a few moments before looking up, realization crossing his face.

“Yes!” he shouted, making Roach jump from the volume. Deneir pointed at him, his eyes wide and crazy. “Yes, that’s it!” Bending down he snatched up what had to be the first book he saw, opened it up to a random page and began to read. “Lady of the Mists, The Guardian of Liars, Maiden of the Mist…”

“A fairy queen?” Roach guessed, trying to carefully walk around the books to get to him.

“Leira!” Even though Roach was almost standing next to him, Denier’s shout was no more quiet than before. “Mother of Illusionists, The Mistshadow.” Finally, Roach reached him, but just as he was about to look at the book the man was holding, Deneir snap it shut and tossed it behind him in one fluid motion. “Not a queen,” he answered. “But she’s dead. She’s dead?” He repeated the words as if he had confused himself. “She’s dead, she died…” He continued to ramble as he went back to searching and Roach found that’d he’d had enough. Maybe he could come back when Deneir was more calm, or when Seaborne could come with him. Until then, he wanted to show Seaborne this book and tell him what he had seen.

Until then, he had a book to read.

~ ~ ~

Seaborne was alone at the diner, staring into a cup of fresh coffee, decaf this time, when his partner came in looking for him. He was deep in thought, thinking about the dream he’d just had, trying to decide if he wanted to have it again, and didn’t hear when Roach started speaking.

“You awake, Seaborne?” the taller man was asking.

“Hmm? Oh, I’m sorry.” Seaborne took a deep breath and stretched his back. “Guess I’m still a little groggy from my nap.”

“That good, huh?” Roach mused casually as he looked for the waitress. Seaborne hid a smile behind a sip of his coffee and gave a non-committal ‘Mmm’ noise. Not really interested in the answer, Roach moved on to something much more important than hearing about how his partner’s nap went. After ordering his own beverage, Roach placed the book that Deneir had given him, on the center of the table.

“What’s this?” Instead of answering Seaborne’s question, Roach opened to the bookmarked page showing the entry he’d read earlier. Seaborne read the headline out loud. “Fairy. Not your usual research.”

“Deneir- uh... the, um, librarian, gave it to me.” He pointed at the image that dominated the page. “This is the woman I saw. The uh, thing, I saw in the fog.”

“I see. Still convinced you saw a fairy?” Seaborne asked, trying to understand what Roach was telling him.

“No, I did see it.” Roach paused, concerned that he wasn’t explaining himself correctly. “I mean, I saw this. This is what I saw dancing in the fog.” He tapped the book for emphasis. With a sigh, Seaborne set his coffee aside and slide the book closer to him. He turned it around to read the text. Roach watched as his friend’s eyes scanned over the pages, reading the text that he himself had read not long ago.

“Fairy tricksters are often drawn to the unconscious desires of humans,” he read aloud. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure,” Roach admitted. “But this is definitely what I saw. Deneir also called them Leirans. I think they might have something to do with the fog-” Seaborne interrupted his partner’s thought by pushing the book back towards him.

“Are all the entries in that book this bizarre?” he asked with a grin. Roach glanced around before learning forward and shoving the book right back.

“That’s just it,” he whispered. “It’s the only entry in the book.” As he said this, he turned the page of the book revealing a completely blank page. Over and over he turned pages, each one just as blank, and Seaborne finally took notice. That was odd indeed, to say the least.

“Weird book,” he commented, taking it in his hands now to check the rest of the pages. It didn’t take long to find out that Roach was right: there was just the one entry. Except for the two pages on fairies, the entire book was blank. “You said the librarian gave you this?”

“Yeah… he was a bit odd, to be honest.” Sitting up straight he sent his partner a look to be quiet as the waitress came over with another coffee. Roach thanked her briefly, waiting until she left again before continuing. “He said he didn’t have a niece,” he stated firmly, raising his eyebrows as if he made a very important addition. Seaborne just looked at him, confused, before shaking his head.

“Well,” he sighed. “That is weird.” Sipping his coffee, Seaborne sat back in his chair and stared out the window at the damned fog that was still thick as ever. Roach waiting for his partner to say more but it quickly became obvious that Seaborne was done talking.

“I think we should inves-”

“Uh, uh.” Seaborne nearly spit out his coffee as he turned down Roach’s idea before he could even finish the thought. “No way. You’re not pulling me into another wild goose chase before I’ve had a break from the last one.”

“But you just said it yourself; it’s weird.” Giving his partner his bet puppy-dog eyes, Roach hoped it would work as it had many times before. This time however, Seaborne was far too sick of this town to fall for anything of the sort.

“Yes,” he admitted. “It’s weird. The people are weird, the town is weird, lots of things are weird BUT! I. Don’t. Care. I want to go home. I want to sleep in my own bed, use my own shower, and eat my cereal in my own house. After that you can tell me everything you think you’ve figured out about this horrible town to your heart’s content. Until then, I just want to go home. Okay?” Thoroughly downtrodden, Roach didn’t argue but slumped in his chair, defeated. He didn’t answer; he didn’t have to. Seaborne had won and that was that.

The two of them sat in silence as Seaborne finished his drink. Roach looked out the window at the fog, the small hope that the fairy lady might reappear, heavy on his heart. He placed his large hands flat on the table, slowly rubbing the tips of his thumbs together, mindlessly. Seaborne couldn’t help but stare at those hands… wondering…

“What is it?” Roach asked, upon catching Seaborne staring. Immediately the shorter man looked somewhere else.

“Nothing,” he lied. After a few more seconds of quiet, Roach couldn’t take it any longer. He grabbed up the book and got to his feet. “What are you going?”

“You may not want to investigate,” he explained. “But I do.” He was halfway to the door before Seaborne could respond.

“What’s the point?” he explained. “We’re leaving tomorrow.” Roach didn’t listen. “What about supper?” Seaborne added, yelling this time, but his partner was already gone. Grumbling to himself, he waved down the waitress. Maybe some food would cheer him up.

-----------------------------------------

Next Chapter More Fics

[tabloidtoc]

Entertainment Weekly, March 8

Cover: Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson in Captain Marvel

Page 1: Contents, The Morning After -- Spike Lee and his Oscar and Jackson Lee and George Lewis and Lillian Lewis and Satchel Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee 

Page 2: Sound Bites -- Cole Sprouse on Eminem, Desus Nice on Green Book’s Oscar win, Debra Messing on Will & Grace, Chris Geere on You’re the Worst, Andre Braugher on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Constance Wu on Fresh Off the Boat, Emmy Rossum and William H. Macy on Shameless 

Page 6: The Must List -- Good Girls, Q+A with Christina Hendricks 

Page 7: This Land by Gary Clark Jr., Triple Frontier 

Page 8: Queen Bey by Veronica Chambers, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, 3 questions for Lisa Rinna 

Page 11: Fantastic 50s -- people and things turning 50 this year 

Page 12: Free Solo, The Widow 

Page 13: The Altruists by Andrew Ridker, Americal Idol, Q+A with Lionel Richie 

Page 14: Charged with filing a false police report and accused of faking an attack on himself, Jussie Smollet has been written off Empire -- at least for now 

Page 16: The Oscars -- Rami Malek, Olivia Colman, Regina King, Mahershala Ali

Page 18: The cast and creative team behind Green Book including Viggo Mortensen, Black Panther’s Hannah Beachler 

Page 19: A Toast to No Host

Page 20: Randy Thomas, Maya Rudolph and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, Becky Neiman-Cobb and Domee Shi 

Page 22: The Morning After -- Spike Lee 

Page 23: Rami Malek 

Page 24: Fashion -- Haute Pink -- Gemma Chan, Julia Roberts, Angela Bassett, Helen Mirren 

Page 25: Linda Cardellini, Kacey Musgraves, Tuxes with a Twist -- Chris Evans, Billy Porter, Jason Momoa 

Page 26: Cover Story -- Captain Marvel 

Page 32: Christine Baranski, Audra McDonald and newest cast member Michael Sheen of The Good Fight 

Page 36: Movies -- The radical humanity of Julianne Moore 

Page 37: Gloria Bell 

Page 38: The Mustand, Haley Lu Richardson’s fave teen movies 

Page 39: Climax, Now Playing 

Page 40: TV -- After Life 

Page 41: The OA 

Page 42: American Gods, remembering Peter Tork of The Monkees 

Page 43: Emmy Rossum opens up about leaving Shameless 

Page 46: What to Watch 

Page 48: Music -- Rivers Cuomo of Weezer 

Page 49: Gary Clark Jr. 

Page 50: Maren Morris, 3 questions for Patty Griffin 

Page 51: Q+A with Hozier 

Page 52: Books -- Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi 

Page 53: Luke Jennings on his gripping Villanelle novels which are the basis for Killing Eve, Lost Children Archive by Valeria Luiselli 

Page 54: Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid 

Page 55: Vacuum in the Dark by Jen Beagin, catching up with Jen Beagin 

Page 56: Isaac Mizrahi on his memoir I.M.: A Memoir 

Page 58: The Bullseye

[crafticsite]

Gingerbread Man Ornament

Today’s guest post is by Fei from “I Heart Gantsilyo” with her adorable crochet gingerbread man ornament.  She’ll be showing you step by step how to make one for the holidays.  I hope you enjoy making these! :)

Hi! I’m Fei, the crochet blogger behind "I Heart Gantsilyo". I’m a long time crocheter, beginner knitter, and a newbie blogger.  I learned how to sew and crochet when I was nine. Now that I'm already a mom, the crafting and crocheting continues and I really enjoy making all the things for my son. You can bet I've done a few baby apparel and plush toys for him! I also love sharing my work and inspiring others, so with lots of encouragement from my entire family and friends, I decided to start my own blog about my crafty yarn adventures!

✂️ Click here for the full pattern on Craftic

[stevefeythewriter]

Our Holiday Letter

New Post has been published on http://stevefey.com/LivefromLV/2017/12/02/our-holiday-letter/

Our Holiday Letter

Chappy Chanukka?

Hello from our family! We certainly hope that this past year has been a good one for you and yours, and that the upcoming year will fill you with blessings, and improved streaming from your chosen ISP!

We are feeling a bit conflicted this holiday season. That’s because not a one of us has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior. You know how we like to think of ourselves as on the cutting edge of family life. Grandma gave us all Cabbage Patch Dolls before they got so expensive, and we still have a garden made of Pet Rocks! But, in this, we are sadly behind the times. Although Pa did once tell cousin Lucille an off-color joke. It didn’t rise to an offense, though, because Lucille told him one in return that caused the rest of us to put our hands over the little ones’ ears and blush for shame. The language! Anyway, outside of that bit of embarrassment, which I am frankly glad to have confessed, life has been good to us this year.

Pa, Junior (isn’t that the cleverest name, though?) was cleared to return to playing football after the swelling in his brain went down, and he’s gone on to be the star of the team during his Senior year. He’s so excited about the game that he sort of shivers from time to time, and who can blame him? That City Championship Trophy will look pretty darned good up on the mantle, that’s for sure! 

You’d think brother Josh would be jealous, but not a bit of it! He’s working really hard down at the Stash N Save, bagging folks’ stuff for them. Sometimes he carries the stuff out to their car for ’em, and once in a while, he even gets a tip! He’s learned a lot about how a successful business works, as when his boss pointed out that, as a tipped employee, he got less pay per hour than if he were, for instance, a janitor who never got tips. We’re sure he’ll put this knowledge to good use throughout his life!

Josh and Sissy’s creation.

Sissy is not to be undone by her big brothers. Besides designing the snow creature shown in the picture, she has been learning the best way to apply mascara, so when she gets to high school she won’t look as ridiculous as most of the girls on dance nights. We’re having a little trouble convincing her to drop her interest in electronics and physics and concentrate on more practical concerns, but after all, she’s just thirteen. She has several years yet to figure out how the world really works! 

Pa may not be a sexual predator, but he’s one heck of a tinkerer. Last June he bought a 1969 Oldsmobile 442 off of our neighbor over on Claremont Avenue, and he figures that by this next June he’ll be able to use it to drive to Pa, Junior’s graduation! Maybe even let Pa, Junior use it when he takes his girlfriend out to celebrate their new adulthood! Pa says that the car just has a few “bent valves,” whatever that means, and it won’t be any trouble at all for him to fix up good as new! It actually does run right now, but the cloud of smoke it makes gets so thick that he can’t see where he’s going when he tries to drive it. I can’t wait for when we can drive it up and down Main Street, just like Grandpa and Grandma used to do back in those days.

And of course, I’ve been busy lately what with making Thanksgiving dinner for us and all of our cousins (it’s so nice to see the house full to bursting with hungry kinfolk!) And now I’m starting in on the Christmas cookies, bake-ahead pies, gingerbread for the gingerbread houses (Rex the Lab ate them all last year, so I’m putting them on top of the china cabinet this time,) and of course shopping for presents for everybody. I’m having a blast, as you can imagine, and I hope you, too, are enjoying your Holiday Season!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukka, Good Kwanzaa, Happy New Year!

Until next year,

Regards, Myrtle

        Copyright 2017 by Steven M Fey, including the photographs, also by Steven M Fey