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[junkissed]

ocean view

member — junhui x f reader genre — romance, smut, strangers to lovers, soulmate au word count — 8.8k synopsis — an all expenses paid trip to greece for your friend's wedding seems too good to be true, but it gets even better when you meet a handsome stranger on the beach. with the help of a mysterious old lady, her magic deck of tarot cards, and one too many coincidences, you're starting to believe things really do happen for a reason. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, unprotected sex, fingering, marking, an oddly romantic one night stand, mentions of past hookups, reader wears dresses, way too much yearning, happy ending ! notes — my part for the @svthub world tour collab; check out the masterlist here! thanks to @multi-kpop-fanfics for answering all my questions and the biggest thanks ever to @onlymingyus for proofreading & helping me brainstorm throughout !! inspired mostly by the spell mv but also a little bit from nana tour and in the soop bc of the vacation vibes. disclaimer i know nothing about tarot but i did a ton of research so i hope that part makes sense anyway :) this fic was a huge challenge to write so please please reblog if you enjoyed reading, the feedback is super appreciated and it helps me keep writing!! read bonus material here!

they say time flies when you’re having fun.

it felt like just days ago when your best friend had announced she was flying everyone to athens for her destination wedding. between helping prepare for the wedding and getting yourself packed for the trip of a lifetime, a weekend on the beach sounded like exactly what you needed to unwind.

but now that you’re here, you’ve quickly realized that your dreams of lazy spa days, massages, and lounging on chairs in the sand with cocktails aren’t on your friend’s itinerary.

what is on her itinerary, however? clubs. lots of clubs, and bars, and raves.

the night before the wedding, you’d showed up at the place you had all planned to meet at for her bachelorette party, a popular bar right on the beach in the center of everything. you hadn’t been sure what to expect, so you’d worn your swimsuit underneath your sundress just in case. between wedding plans and jet lag, you hadn’t yet had the chance to explore the beaches, and you weren’t about to let your favorite white strappy one-piece go to waste without wearing it the whole trip; especially not when you’re surrounded by gorgeous clear waters you don’t get to see while you’re at home.

you tug at your dress a little awkwardly, a simple off-white piece with buttons all down the front. cute and casual, the perfect thing for an evening on the beach. except an evening on the beach is not what you’re getting.

“next round is on me!”

all the girls let out a cheer, clapping and whooping as they raise their glasses. you’re still not even halfway through your first drink; the night is young, but your friends are more enthusiastic partygoers than you are.

you lean away to check the time on your phone, trying not to feel defeated when you see how early it still is. you’ve been trying to hype yourself up for tonight all weekend, but it doesn’t help that your friends are bigger partiers than you. that isn’t to say that you dislike parties, or that you never go out; but parties like this, huge events with hundreds of people packed into a small space with loud music and flashing lights, aren’t really your ideal way to spend a saturday night. even for such a special, rare occasion like a bachelorette party in another country, you can’t bring yourself to get lost in the scene. you should’ve known how this would go, and yet here you are, standing at a cocktail table by yourself surrounded by drunk women.

you turn back around and suddenly the bar is a sea of unfamiliar faces, everyone around you lost in their own worlds jumping and dancing to the music that booms from the speakers. you stand up on your tiptoes to see above the crowd, trying to push your way through in search of someone you recognize, but it seems like they’ve all vanished.

the pounding of the music is starting to give you a headache, so you down the last of your drink and head away from the bar, pushing past people until the crowd eventually starts to thin and you break out into the open air.

it’s still light outside, but the contrast from the darkened bar makes it feel like stepping into another world. the noise gets quieter the farther away you move, and you find your feet carrying themselves down the beach. you walk backwards, turning to look over your shoulder one more time to see if you can spot your friends, but all you see is a crowd full of strangers.

it’s easier to breathe out here, feeling the freshness of the ocean breeze and the salty air in your lungs as you get further and further from the people and the businesses. you turn around again and almost run straight into a man walking from the opposite direction, and you stumble into his arms before you realize what’s happening. you let out a little squeak in surprise and jump backwards, almost tripping over your own feet but his hand instinctively shoots around your waist to help keep you upright.

your cheeks burn with embarrassment, an apology already ready on your lips, but he beats you to it. “sorry,” he says with a shy laugh, slowly letting go of you and offering his hand for balance as you slip your sandal back on that had come off. he steps back and gives you a polite smile, trying to move out of your way. “you look like you’ve got somewhere to be.”

“the opposite, actually. escaping my friend's bachelorette party," you explain. 

"we're in the same boat, then," he chuckles, tucking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. "trying to ditch the bachelor party. it’s a popular place for weddings, huh?”

“seems like it.” you hum, turning to look out over the water. the setting sun glints off the surface, a clear and bright sparkling blue, and you lift your hand to keep the glare out of your eyes. “i just didn’t think it’d be so…”

“…hectic?” he asks, and you laugh a little.

"yeah, you could say that.” a warm breeze ruffles through your sundress, and you cross your arms over your chest. “i guess all weddings are like that, though.”

he nods, following your gaze off into the horizon. you go quiet, listening to the music still loud in the distance and the sound of seagulls cawing above your heads. "i was hoping to get a chance to explore more of the beaches while i'm here. i don’t get to see it often."

"wanna go for a walk?” you ask suddenly, uncrossing your arms. maybe it’s the fresh air of a new place, maybe it’s the comfort of finding another person wanting to get away from it all, but some part of you wants to stay here and find out. you’d wanted to see more of the landscape anyway, and now seems like as good a time as any, especially now that you’ve got company.

he looks over at you, judging your expression before his face softens. “that sounds perfect.”

it’s still early enough that the beach is still mostly full of tourists, adults lounging on towels while reading books and kids splashing water at each other and playing in the sand. you walk further down the beach, passing in front of a grey haired old woman sitting cross-legged on a towel, shuffling a deck of cards in her wrinkled hands.

"always lovely to see couples enjoying the islands,” she calls out to you. there’s an almost rhythmic lilt to her voice, and it’s so sudden that it makes both of you pause and turn around, having paid her no mind as you walked past before. she gestures down at the deck and you finally notice that she’s holding a set of tarot cards, a deep matte black that seems to glitter and sparkle even while shadowed. “would you like a reading?”

your cheeks start to warm, and you push down the butterflies that flutter to life when she assumes you’re together. "oh, no, we're not—”

"sure," jun says over you, and you sneak a glance up at him when you think he's not looking. "how much?"

she clucks her teeth and shakes her head, staring directly at you although she’s answering his question. "no, no, no, my dear. just offering a bit of friendly advice. won’t cost you a thing."

jun nods, but she seems like she’s waiting for your answer so you quickly nod, too. “okay. what… do we have to do?”

she places her palms over the deck and closes her eyes, falling silent. you stand in front of her, feeling a little awkward to be hovering over her like this, but she it’s like she doesn’t even notice. you share a look with jun, but after a beat he grabs your hand and grins as if to say, just go along with it.

her eyes suddenly fly open and she seems pleased with whatever she was doing. “i knew i could feel it,” she says cryptically as she begins shuffling the cards. “but let’s just see what fate has to say about it.”

she stops and pulls the top two cards from the deck, placing them face down on the towel as she motions at them with her hand. at her signal, jun bends forward and turns over one of the cards, reading it aloud. “ace of cups.”

“ace of cups,” she repeats. “an invitation. the open, uninhibited flow of emotions, creativity, and love; the awakening of your spirit. this is a new beginning for you, the start of a new season. trust yourself and your feelings, and embrace the opportunity to grow with your emotions.”

jun nods seriously like he’s taking in her words, but you can see the hint of a smile at the corner of his lips that he’s trying to suppress.

she looks at you expectantly, and you hesitate before realizing she’s waiting for you to flip over the second card. you cheeks heat as you read it, but you try not to let it show. “the… lovers?”

she smiles, and although her face looks kind you have a sense that there’s something she’s not telling. “the lovers,” she says, almost solemnly. “many people think this card is strictly about romance. and in some ways it is, but what it really represents is a choice. two diverging paths, two responsibilities. will you choose with your head, or with your heart?”

she stares at you for another moment, then looks back at jun. you both stay quiet and still, subconsciously hanging on her every word as she pauses, clearly having more to say. “having these two cards come up together… now, that’s fascinating for you two, isn’t it?”

you find yourself nodding silently, although you have no idea why. you feel jun’s hand in yours, warm and soft and grounding, and the smallest shiver runs down your spine.

“the lovers and the ace of cups are the potential for new beginnings and the fulfillment that comes with following your heart,” she says, her eyes locked with yours. “this is a very powerful and meaningful connection, but only if you make the choice that is most heartfelt. you must be willing to be your most authentic self and hold nothing back. keep your eyes open, and you will be rewarded with profound joy and happiness.”

immediately you turn to look at jun to see his reaction. he looks just as confused—but is that a hint of excitement in his eyes?—as you do. the woman’s words are… cryptic, to say the least, but it stirs up a feeling of excitement in the back of your mind that you’re trying to ignore. it probably doesn’t mean what you think it does, right?

"hey, wait, so what does—”

you turn back to look at the woman for another explanation, but there's no one there. the beach is empty except for you and jun and the slowly setting sun, a few boats tied up at the dock. you’ve walked so far down the beach that even the distant music has faded into obscurity and you’re left standing alone together, surrounded by nothing but the sounds of the waves. even the wind has died down, and it feels eerily quiet but in an almost comforting sort of way, to be alone together in a place like this.

"you believe in that kind of stuff?" you ask curiously as jun starts to walk away.

"mm… not really. but she seemed like a lonely old lady. i thought it'd make her day." he looks down at your entwined hands and squeezes lightly, almost teasing as you look up and see the grin on his face. "why, do you?"

you can't help the butterflies that instantly flutter to life in your stomach when you feel his warm hand in yours, but you shrug. "why not?"

jun doesn't reply, just nodding thoughtfully as you continue to walk hand in hand. 

with the way the atmosphere has suddenly changed, it feels like time has stopped as you meander your way along the edge of the water. you chat off and on with jun, but there’s a hefty amount of silence that neither one of you feels obligated to fill. talking to jun feels like talking to an old friend, and maybe it’s the beautiful scenery or maybe it’s the way both of you had found yourselves here looking for company.

after a while you come to a stop just below the rocks where you’d started. your footprints from where you’d run into each other are still visible, little indents in the damp sand, and it reminds you of what you were running away from in the first place. maybe you don’t want to run anymore. 

"well…”  jun says, inhaling slowly. "we should get you back to your friends. i'm sure they're looking for you."

"would it be so bad if i said i didn't want to find them?"

he pauses to gauge your reaction, and you don’t miss the flicker in his eyes as he looks at you. after a moment nods and points up the shallow cliffs, towards a little stone staircase worn down from years of being travelled on. "my hotel is just up there. if… if you wanted to stay a little longer? with me?"

you pull your lip between your teeth, looking up at him and the way the fading sunlight shines through his soft brown waves, and it only takes a second to make your decision. “i’d really like that.” 

it turns out that missing out on your friend’s party for a few more hours is an easy price to pay for more time with jun.

the door of his hotel room barely has time to shut before your hands are on each other. you tug him closer by shirt with an eagerness you rarely allow yourself and he immediately reciprocates, pulling you by the waist until you’re pressed chest to chest.

his hand skims over your collarbone towards your neck, and you shiver at the warmth of his fingers caressing the side of your jaw. he angles your chin upwards and leans in as you meet him halfway and your lips finally touch, a low sound escaping from your throat as his nose brushes your cheek.

he makes a soft noise as he inhales, deepening the kiss until you feel your knees go weak. his hand cups your jaw harder, trying to draw you further into him, unwilling to break apart. he kisses you so softly yet you can still feel the intensity behind every movement of his lips, exploring your mouth with a gentleness that feels more natural than anyone you’ve ever kissed before.

jun curls his arm around you tighter, and you’re sure he can hear how fast your heart is beating as he kisses you again and again until you’re breathless. you slide your hands away from his chest and start to undo the buttons at the front of your dress, but he stops you. you look up and meet his gaze as his hand on your cheek moves to wrap around your waist, carefully walking you backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it.

he lets out a quiet groan as you pull him down with you, landing on top of you and catching himself on his forearms beside your head. his face is inches away from yours, staring into your eyes for a beat before he presses down to capture your lips again.

his kisses feel like magic, and you almost forget exactly what you’re here to do. you’d be content to spend hours with his lips on yours and nothing else, but you’re quickly pulled away from it when he sits back and starts to slide his hands down your body, his nimble fingers skillfully undoing the buttons of your dress one by one.

he pulls the fabric away and lets it fall to the floor before leaning to kiss you again, and a grateful sigh slips from your lips at his touch. your fingers tug at his shirt and he breaks away once more to quickly pull it off over his head, tossing it behind him without a second thought.

your hands slide earnestly across his body, your fingertips trailing down his torso and the deep lines of his abs. his fingers brush over your swimsuit in tandem, tracing the cutouts of the fabric where your skin is visible and making you prickle with goosebumps at his touch.

he seems equally as content to just continue doing this, but eventually his hands make their way upwards and gently slip the straps off your shoulders. he doesn't move any further than that, waiting for you to move instead, his fingers resting at the base of your neck just beneath your chin. 

you follow his actions and shimmy the suit down, letting it bunch up at your hips. only then does he finally break apart from you, moving his mouth down to your exposed breast and letting his tongue glide over your peaked nipple. your skin tastes like salt and sweat, like sunny days and warm breezy nights, and he can't get enough of you.

the first moan you let out is like music to his ears, and immediately he craves more of them. he wraps his mouth around your other nipple while keeping his hands attached to your body like magnets, desperate to be the one to draw more of those pretty noises from your lips.

you lift your hips just a little and he quickly gets the hint, wordlessly pushing his fingers between your skin and the fabric of your swimsuit before tugging it all the way off. he pulls it down your legs and you help him kick it away, leaving you completely bare beneath him.

your hands slide across his shoulders and up the back of his neck, tangling in his hair with another moan that sends a shiver down his spine. you can’t help but roll your hips upwards against his body, squirming for more friction as your nails scratch at his scalp.

his face stays buried in your chest for a long time, moving between your breasts and planting wet kisses all along your skin. your head is spinning at the sight of this gorgeous man working his magic on your body, his hands wandering up and down with a tender purpose. you don't even know his name but you already know you're gonna be thinking about this night for months, probably even years. you're shocked at how good he is at this; there's a melancholy feeling looming in the back of your mind, knowing that this is probably the first and only night you’ll get to spend with him, but you don't have time to focus on that when you have the tingly feeling in your stomach to focus on instead.

despite not saying anything aloud you can tell exactly what he wants from you, and something about how easy this is sends a feeling of relief through you. all of the mistakes of your past hookups feel like a distant memory. there’s none of the empty conversations meant to do nothing more than fill the silence and the awkward, tentative movements that you’ve become accustomed to from strangers who aren’t familiar with your body. 

but something about the way jun touches you does feel familiar, like you’ve been waiting all your life for it, for him. his silence, something that most of your partners in the past had fought so hard to avoid, now only leaves more room for you to enjoy the sounds that often go overlooked: the wet hum as his lips connect with your skin, the distant crash of waves outside the window, the quiet whir of the ceiling fan.

jun leans down and kisses you again, shifting on top of you as his hand wanders down your hips. you pull him closer and let your hand travel a similar path, and you bite your lip in excitement when your fingers skim over the bulge straining against his shorts.

he lets out a strangled noise almost like a whimper at the contact but the sound only encourages you to add more pressure, soaking in his reactions. he whines again, pushing his hips into your hand and exhaling a shaky breath as you continue to palm him, feeling the hard outline of his cock as he struggles to keep his composure.

his knee is against your thigh and he repositions himself to press it higher between your legs, returning the favor and giving you something to grind on. instinctively your legs widen a little to give him easier access, and he rewards you with another hot, messy kiss.

you groan at the feeling, pushing your hips down towards him and rubbing yourself on him. it’s a little rough at first, but you’re already so wet that it doesn’t take long before his knee is coated in your arousal and you slide along him easily. 

after a minute he pulls back just an inch, giving you room to breathe, but one hand is still on your hip and the other curled behind you to support your neck. “good?” he asks breathlessly, and even though it’s clear as day that you’re enjoying this as much as he is, you still nod and give him an encouraging smile, and he returns it with a smile of his own. “just let me know,” he says, and the sultry yet sweet tone of his voice makes your heart skip a beat.

at your approval his hand begins to wander again, trailing over the top of your thigh. his finger slowly make their way down and you shiver, your hand stilled against his abdomen as you anticipate his next move.

you take this moment to get a good look at him; you’d been too shy to stare earlier on the beach, unsure how things were going to go. but now that he’s on top of you, shirtless and obviously just as eager as you are, you let your gaze roam unabashedly across his body. your eyes glide over his torso, the hollow slope of his collarbones and his hardened nipples, the deep-set grooves of his abs and the faint lines of his ribs beneath his skin. you want to reach out to touch him and run your hands over every inch of him, but you’re trying to be patient. and although you know your time here is limited, it seems like jun is only just getting started.

his fingers finally make it to your inner thighs, tracing the area around your pussy, but it’s still not close enough for your liking. you wiggle a little to try and encourage him, whining softly and letting out a little plea. his lips quirk up and he nods, his grip on the back of your neck tensing and tangling in your hair. 

his fingers finally brush against your entrance and you gasp, writhing at how gentle his touch is. he dips his middle finger into your heat before pulling it back out, trailing upwards to your clit to circle it for a moment before heading back down and repeating the process. it’s barely enough, yet it leaves you breathless almost instantly.

he’s staring down between your legs with an intense focus, spreading your arousal around before sinking back into you for more. and just when you think you can’t take it anymore, he pushes his finger in deeper, holding it still for a second even though you’ve already adjusted to it. he waits until you start moving, arching your back and trying to get him to go further, before he adds his ring finger and begins slowly thrusting both fingers in and out together.

you whimper and curse under your breath, trying to roll your hips to match his rhythm. he starts to curl his knuckles and you swear you see stars, despite the fact that he’s barely moving at all.

after a moment when you’ve regained the ability to breathe normally again you start to move your hand back against his bulge, shaky fingers dipping beneath the waistband of his shorts. you wrap your hand around him and your eyes widen at the thickness, the heavy weight of him in your hand and how you’re sure he must be aching by now. you feel the way his cock jerks when you squeeze ever so slightly, his fingers inside you freezing for a split second as his brain tries to process before he plunges them in even deeper, curling into you with even more fervor than before.

you hold him tighter and run your thumb over his tip, swollen and leaking with precum. he gets a little noisier with every move you make, unable to contain the pleasure he gets even from this. even the smallest touches from each other have both of you on edge in a way you’ve never felt before, drawn to each other like no one you’ve ever had before.

his clothes in the way are starting to frustrate you, so after another second you release his cock and move your hand up to the waistband of his shorts instead, trying to tug them down but it’s difficult from the position you’re both laying in.

“please,” you pant out desperately after having little success, and he obliges, pushing his shorts away as fast as possible before resuming his motions. he’s still almost completely ignoring himself as he continues to focus on you and only you, and his complete devotion gives you another boost of confidence.

now freed, his hard cock slaps against your thigh and you moan happily at finally being able to see all of him. it looks even better than it felt, thick veins bulging out across his length and his tip flushed a deep red. you wrap your hand around him once more, flicking your wrist as you start to jerk up and down.

his fingers curl upwards to massage the spot that makes your eyes roll back, and if you had any functioning thoughts left you would’ve marvelled at the fact that he was able to find it so easily, but you’re too busy arching your back against his pillow to think about that.

he can feel you starting to clench harder around him, making his fingers stutter inside you, so he pushes his other hand down on your hip to stop you from moving so much. he pulls his fingers out and your eyes dart back up to his face for an explanation, unable to stop the whimper that escapes from you at the loss, but the look in his eyes instantly puts you at ease. you can already tell he knows what he’s doing, and somehow he seems to know exactly what you need, so for once you don’t mind sitting back and letting someone else call the shots.

“can i fuck you now?” he murmurs, and it takes you a second to even hear what he said because you’re shocked at how low and rough his tone is since the last time you heard him speak. he wipes his fingers against the inside of your thigh as he waits for your reply, and you shiver at the cool wetness on your skin.

the best you can manage is a stuttered “yes”, and without a word of acknowledgement he pulls you off the bed, guiding you off your back and onto your hands and knees.

you let out a squeak at the sudden change but you let it happen, and a second later you hear his voice beside you, his breath warm against your ear. “still okay?” he asks, and despite the gruffness in his voice you can still hear the soft edge to his words.

“yeah,” you repeat, suddenly losing the ability to say anything else to express your pleasure, but somehow you know he understands. your stomach flutters at the low tone of his voice, steady and calm but so full of warmth and lust.

you feel the heat from his face move away from your skin, and you know he’s sitting up on his knees behind you. his hands slide down your sides, reaching under you to cup your boobs with both hands as he groans at the feeling. you let out a matching whine, pushing your hips back against him to feel his hard length against the soft flesh of your ass.

his hands still holding your breasts, he leans down over you to keep you flush to his body, your back pressed against his chest. he presses a kiss in between your shoulder blades, letting his tongue trace lightly over the ridges of your spine.

you grind backwards against him harder, your body on fire from his kisses as he starts to suck gently at the back of your shoulder. you’re not sure if it’s hard enough to leave marks, but you kind of hope they do, because then you’d be sure this encounter wasn’t a dream. what other explanation is there for the fact that you’ve not only met the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life, but that you’re currently on your hands and knees in his bed as he runs his lips over every single inch of you, waiting for him to fuck you? it’s too good to be true.

but it is true, and you know it when he pulls away to brush your hair to the side and expose more of your back for him. his fingers are still so gentle against your skin, his touch heavy but soft, and it makes you even more desperate for him.

after a while he lets go of you and leans back, taking his cock in his hand and gently tapping it against your ass. you groan and fall forward, pressing your face into the pillows and arching your hips up into the air. his hands slide down your sides, gripping your waist with a low groan as he leans forward to kiss the side of your neck again.

he finally pushes all the way into you, and it feels so good it takes your breath away for a second. you can feel your walls throbbing around him, struggling to adjust to the feeling of being so full in the best way, a way you haven’t felt this strongly in so long. it’s a feeling like no other, and it makes you wonder why you ever settled for anything else before this.

his hands are all over you like he can’t decide what to do first, but after a while they settle at your hips and give them an encouraging squeeze, waiting patiently for you to set the pace. finally you bring yourself to move, tipping forward to let him slide out of you just a bit before you lean back into him.

he adapts quickly to your rhythm, thrusting in and out and matching your pace, using his grip on your waist for leverage to push himself deep inside with every stroke.

“fuck,” he moans under his breath, finally breaking the silence, and with just that one sound you feel yourself starting to let go.

the words tumble out of your mouth and you ball your fists into his sheets, clinging to the bed to keep you grounded while your head is spinning. “please, please, yes—”

everything finally hits you all at once, like a tidal wave pouring over you as you fall forward and bury your face into the pillow with a broken whimper.

“don’t stop, please,” you whine breathlessly. your words are muffled by the pillow, but you can tell he’s heard them because his grip on your hips tightens even more, slamming into you with just as much force as before and carrying you through your orgasm.

jun has to bite his lip not to sail right over the edge with you, focusing all his energy on holding himself back until he feels your body go limp all at once, the waves finally subsiding and you let out a deep, pleasured exhale. he’s so close he can practically taste it, his skin flushed and damp with sweat and his abs burning with exertion. only once he’s absolutely sure that you’ve finished cumming does he let himself break, pulling out as fast as he can and wrapping his fist around his length with all the energy he has left.

he moans weakly at the loss of your tight, warm walls hugging him so perfectly, but the view as he jerks himself over you all but makes up for it. the sight of your ass pressed flush against his thighs, your lower back arched and on display like a gorgeous blank canvas, and it gives him such a rush until he can’t hold on anymore.

the warm, sticky liquid hits your back and you whimper into the pillow, instinctively lifting your hips even more towards him. his cum spurts out in thick ropes, painting your skin and pooling in the little divot at the base of your spine, running down your ass until it feels like you’re soaked in it.

he finally pulls back and lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in, groaning as he sees you sitting still on the bed with your hips in the air. you feel the bed shift with his weight as he gets up, but you don’t pay any attention to it as you focus on trying to steady your breathing instead. something in your gut tells you to stay put, and sure enough, a minute later you hear the sink running and then feel the cool fabric of a damp washcloth brushing over your back.

he lays his hand on your ass and gently gives it a little squeeze to signal that he’s finished, and you finally fall over onto your side. you’re coasting on cloud nine, and everything feels both dulled and hypersensitive at the same time. the whir of the overhead fan is a little more prominent now, and the quiet drone echoes around in your brain.

“do you need water? or do you want a snack, or something?” jun asks, and while his voice still has a touch of shakiness as he’s recovering himself, you can tell his tone is back to the gentle and polite sound you’ve become used to hearing from him.

you shake your head, and he hums softly in acknowledgement as he points to the nightstand on the side of the bed closest to you. “there’s an extra water bottle there, if you need it. i haven’t opened it.”

you nod against the sheets, suddenly too tired to even think about forming words. jun climbs back onto the bed next to you, stretching out his long limbs and leaning against the headboard with a satisfied sigh. 

you surprise yourself when your body automatically reaches out for him, curling into his body and laying your hand across his forearm like a weight keeping him close. but what surprises you even more is when he mirrors the action, scooting closer to you and letting your head rest against his stomach. your first thought is that he makes a very comfortable pillow, and you let your eyes fall shut for a moment as your breathing returns to normal, wanting to savor this moment as you collect yourself and prepare to leave.

you open your eyes what feels like minutes later, but when you reach over to check your phone you realize you’ve been asleep for more than an hour. you inhale slowly and swallow, blinking a few times as the sore feeling in your hips reminds you of where you are.

instinctively, you start to panic a little. your friends are probably looking for you. you disappeared without telling anyone, and now you have to get back to your hotel and make sure you have enough time to sleep properly and get ready for the wedding in the morning. never mind that it was probably the best night you’ve ever spent with another person, and never mind that your friends are probably still out partying and haven’t even noticed you missing yet.

you slide off of the bed as quietly as you can, stumbling a little when your feet hit the floor. you crouch down to pick up your swimsuit off the floor and put it on, hopping on one foot as you slip each leg through the holes. it's darker outside now, but the street lamps and the moonlight shining through the sliding glass door that leads to the balcony of his hotel room are bright enough that it still feels like day. you're so focused on getting dressed and mentally running over your to-do list that you completely forget there's another person in the room until you hear his voice cutting through the silence.

“you don’t have to do that, y’know.”

you freeze and look up, your half-buttoned dress hanging loosely from your shoulders, your cheeks burning at the realization you’ve been caught.

jun swings his legs off the bed, crossing the room in a couple of strides before he’s standing in front of you. he’s wearing nothing except for the boxer shorts he threw on right before you fell asleep, and your cheeks flush even harder at the sight, despite the fact that you’ve already seen much more of him than this.

it takes every ounce of restraint you have to keep your eyes from straying, locked on his face before your gaze falls quickly to the floor where your sandals are left in a heap.

you didn’t mean to sneak off. but what else were you supposed to do? you hadn’t meant to fall asleep and stay as long as you did, either, and now you were stuck with the awkward conversation that always comes afterwards. the inevitable hurried goodbyes and uncomfortable tension as you try to put yourself back together and leave as fast as possible.

jun takes a small step closer to you, and despite all the confidence you know he has, it feels almost… tentative. as if you’re meeting for the first time and he isn’t sure whether or not he’s allowed to touch you yet.

there's a lingering feeling that you can't quite put your finger on yet. it's conflicting, because you know you can't stay but everything in you is screaming not to leave. maybe there's something you can do, anything you can do. is it all worth it? to turn your life around in a complete 180 for someone you barely even know— and yet, the last few hours that you’ve spent with him have been incomparably the best of your life.

after a moment he reaches out and starts to finish buttoning your dress for you, his fingers working them back through the loops with just as much care as he did when he was taking them off earlier.

“sorry,” you manage quietly, though you’re not even really sure what you’re apologizing for. a lot of things: sorry for running away, sorry for having feelings you probably shouldn’t be feeling, sorry for knowing this won’t work out despite the way you really, really wish it could.

but he just shakes his head as he finishes buttoning the last button. “i took it off. i can help you put it back on, too.” you can tell he knows what you had actually meant, but he’s ignoring it either for your sake or his. something about his words feels so easy, like all the problems in your head don’t mean anything anymore. here you are, an anxious and awkward and confused mess, and there he is, smoothing out the wrinkles in your dress like it’s something he’s been doing all his life.

he adjusts the strap on your shoulder with a gentle pat, but his hands linger for a few seconds longer than they should, and you lift your eyes to meet his. “can i kiss you again?” he asks quietly, and for some reason his choice of words sticks with you. not one final kiss, not a goodbye kiss, just again. like he’s refusing to admit this will probably be the last time you’ll ever see each other.

and you nod, and his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and pull you back into his lips, just as warm and just as soft and just as familiar as the first time. there’s something so innocent about kissing him, even in the midst of a complicated and confusing mess of emotions that makes you second guess everything. somewhere in the back of your mind you vaguely register that this is the last time you’ll ever kiss him, but as long as his lips are on yours it doesn’t matter. you’ll figure out how to deal with all that later; for now, the only thing you’re concerned about is the way he grips your chin and pulls you even closer.

it feels like hours later when you finally pull away, letting out a slow exhale as you try to blink yourself back to reality, and you know what has to happen now. “can you find your hotel on your own? do you want me to walk back with you?” jun asks, and you can feel the hesitancy in his voice.

“it’s not far,” you sigh quietly, turning away to slip your feet into your sandals that wait by the bed where you’d taken them off earlier. you should’ve said yes. “but… thank you.” your words hold a sincere weight to them, and it’s silent for a few seconds as you cross the room quicker than you want to.

“you could stay,” he says finally, but his hand is already on the doorknob and you both already know the answer. you hate that you have to be the one to tell him no, even though it’s been clear from the start what the outcome would be. you give him a small shake of your head, and he pulls on the knob. 

he stands and stares for a minute, watching you walk down the hallway and praying you’ll turn around. and then you do, glancing back at him over your shoulder, and he almost allows himself to have a little bit of hope that you might come back, even though you both know you can’t. when you find him still standing in the doorway your eyes light up just the slightest bit, and finally you disappear with a tiny little wave.

the door clicks shut again, and the silence that follows is louder than anything he’s heard all day.

“and you didn’t even get this guy’s number?!”

you wince at the tone in jeonghan’s voice, rubbing the back of your shoulder guiltily. “his name, either.”

“even after the magic old lady said all that shit about soulmates?”

“she didn’t say that!” you huff. your tone rises almost defensively, although it probably has no reason to. she didn’t say anything about being soulmates… right? “she said something like, ‘keep your eyes open for stuff around you’. but he said he didn’t even believe in it, anyway.”

a waiter carrying a tray of champagne glasses walks past, and he snags a couple of them, holding one out to you. “well, it doesn’t sound like you’re keeping your eyes open. it sounds more like your eyes are closed, actually. are you blind?”

you scowl and take the glass from him. “my flight home is tonight, hannie. i’m not gonna see him again.” you take a sip, letting it sit in your mouth for a second before you swallow. “and besides, he said he was here for a wedding, too. he could be from anywhere in the world. it would be impossible to find him.”

“doesn’t hurt to at least try.” you both stop in front of a circular table covered in flowers, with a little placard next to one of the plates with jeonghan’s name on it. “i guess this is my table. you want me to help you look for yours?”

you shake your head, pointing to a table a little ways away. “i saw mine on the way in, it’s over there.”

“whatever,” he hums at you, but you know he’s just teasing. “i still wouldn’t blame you if you ditched and ran off to try and find him.”

“not happening!” you call over your shoulder as you walk away, matching his playful tone. but you can’t help but feel like maybe he’s right.

jun taps his fingers against the table, staring mindlessly at the bubbles floating in his glass of champagne. he’s stuck in his head— no, that’s not right. that’s not the problem. you’re stuck in his head. it’s nearly a full day later and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you, the taste of your lips, the feel of your breasts in his hands, the scent of the shampoo in your hair. if that wasn’t the most perfect hookup in the history of hookups, then he doesn’t wanna know what is.

he still feels bad for not even paying attention during the ceremony, because he was too busy imagining you and him up there on the altar kissing instead. god, what he wouldn’t give for another kiss like that. but just like you, he knows it never would’ve worked out, and despite the what-ifs that are chewing him up inside and the fact that he definitely, absolutely, totally would’ve tried to make it work however large the distance was, he knows it’s probably for the better. even if it means he’s gonna spend the rest of his life pining after a girl he met on vacation for less than a single day, and he’ll never even know your name.

he takes a swig of his champagne and tries to put on a cheery face. this is a wedding, after all, and he can’t afford to spend all his time pouting when he’s in a beautiful city by the seaside enjoying delicious food and near perfect weather.

and then he sees you.

not really, of course, because it’s probably the champagne going to his head after chugging the majority of his glass like a frat boy at a college party. but then he blinks, and it really is you, wandering around for a second before you sit down at a table on the other side of the venue, wearing a soft blue dress that’s even prettier than the one he saw you in yesterday.

he blinks again, not fully believing that it’s you and not just the combined effect of the alcohol and his daydreams, but you’re still there when he opens his eyes again. and he knows it’s you, because he can see the faint hickies on your back and shoulders that you clearly tried to hide with makeup but couldn’t fully reach.

the chances that he’d see you again—not even that, but the chances that you’d be attending the very same wedding he was—must be one in a billion. maybe even more. yet there you are, picking at your nail and staring wistfully at your empty plate as you wait for the reception to start.

he stares for another minute, just to make sure you’re actually real, before he stands up and makes his way to the terrace at the back of the venue where the groom is standing next to a tower of cupcakes.

“gyu,” he greets him, “hey. are we allowed to switch tables?”

“i… don’t think so?” mingyu hums, a little off guard by the sudden question. “i made sure we put you next to hao, but—”

“if i give you twenty bucks, can you put me at table 8 instead?” jun’s eyes flicker with desperation, and he has to force himself not to look back over at you.

mingyu whines apologetically and hesitates, glancing at his bride a little ways away as she talks to a table full of guests. “she did all this planning, jun, i can’t just change everything now…”

“it’s not changing everything.” jun pulls his wallet out of his pants pocket, already rifling through the bills. “i’ll make it a hundred. mingyu, please, just switch me,” he says.

the whine in jun’s voice makes him pause, and he bites his lip as he considers it. on one hand, he could have his brand new wife a little bit mad at him for a while (who’ll probably forgive him the second she gets in bed with him tonight), plus get to help his friend and get an easy hundred dollars out of it. or, on the other hand… he could not help him, and his wife would never know, and jun would probably hate him for some unknown reason even though he doesn’t think jun has a single bone in his body capable of hating anybody. the decision is easy.

mingyu takes the bills from jun’s hand and stuffs them in his pocket before anyone can notice. “go ahead,” he says, tossing his head in the direction of the table. “i don’t know what it is you want, but don’t let anybody see you.”

“thanks! i owe you!” jun grins and hugs him, letting out a noise almost like a squeal before he turns and dashes away.

you’re barely paying attention to the reception anymore as you sit with your chin in your hands, again mentally running over all the things you need to pack and how on earth you’re going to be able to board your flight tonight and leave everything behind. the beaches, the city… and him. how are you supposed to just get on a plane and get on with your life, knowing that he’s out there somewhere in the world, and you’re never going to see him again. 

you’re trying not to sulk, but you can’t help the way your mood has been sour all morning, already filled with regrets and you haven’t even left yet. maybe you should’ve skipped the wedding altogether and spent another day in his bed, wrapped up between his sheets and lying in his arms. but then the rational part of your brain reminds you that he was also in town for a wedding, so even if he’d wanted to or even been okay with doing that, he probably had other plans anyway.

you’re still trying to figure out what to do about your hopeless situation when you hear a sound close behind you. it startles you into putting a smile on your face, preparing yourself to socialize although you really aren’t in the mood to.

“is this seat taken?” jun asks as he pulls out the chair to your left and sits down.

your brows furrow in confusion, trying to place the familiar voice, until you turn around and your jaw drops when you see who it belongs to.

you stare at him in shock, your eyes darting back and forth between his trying to figure out what to say. “you’re not joshua,” is the best you can come up with as your mouth hangs open and you whip your head around to check the list of names assigned to this table. you recognize them all, yet here he is: the nameless stranger you’ve fallen so helplessly in love with in so short an amount of time.

he smiles at your reaction, and it’s such a genuine smile that you know he’s feeling exactly the way you do right now. “i guess you’re right. i’m not.” he brushes the name card in front of him to the side and sets his own down in its place instead before he holds out his hand to shake. “it’s nice to meet you. i’m jun.”

you pause for a minute, staring at his hand. you can’t believe this is real, you can’t believe he’s real; you’d almost been able to convince yourself that the whole encounter last night was a fever dream, if you hadn’t woken up in the morning with a soreness between your legs that screamed that it definitely was not a dream.

finally you reach out and take his hand, and even in that little touch you can tell it really is him, from the way your heart picks up when you feel the familiar softness of his skin and the gentle squeeze that sends goosebumps down your arm.

“it’s nice to meet you, too.”

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[rinhaler]

Rin Itoshi and female s/o taking each other first time

omgggggg i tried to make it romantic and sweet but i do love a slutty ass dude who's in control so apologies if this isnt exactly what u wanted hehe

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, virgin!rin, virgin!reader, fingering, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, tit sucking, "just the tip" pfft, slight manipulation, brief condom use, premature ejaculation, creampie.

words: 2.9k

Your heart races as you watch Rin scroll through his phone and find some music to play. He looks so serious, though that’s nothing new. You don’t dare speak, worried you’ll say the wrong thing if you do. He looks up at you, briefly, offering a weak smile before looking through his phone again.

“We don’t have to do this, you know.” he tells you without even looking at you. You watch him as he starts hooking up his phone to the Bluetooth speaker in your room, and you shuffle uncomfortably on top of your bed.

“I want to… ‘m just scared.” you confess, breath shaking slightly as you exhale. “Do you still want to?” you wonder, feeling shy as you ask. You’re sure he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to, though.

Rin doesn’t do anything he has no interest in.

“Yeah.” he tells you, setting his phone down before looking back at you, finally. He’s so far away, it feels too formal. Though you assume he wants to set the pace and make sure everything is comfortable for you both before you proceed. “We agreed,”

“I know.” you nod, recalling the moment you decided as teenagers to give each other your virginities if you hadn’t lost them after you turned twenty. “Just checking.”

The concept of Rin being single, let alone a virgin, is something you can’t even begin to comprehend. You’ve been best friends with him since you could talk. You remember him having no interest in you until you forced your way into playing soccer games with him and his brother. You soon gave it up once you got what you wanted, but you’ve been inseparable ever since.

Girls have always thrown themselves at Rin, but he never cared. Not really. You remember him having one girlfriend and it never went anywhere. It only lasted three weeks. He told you the gory details of their sex lives, though. Only because you asked.

It didn’t go past hand stuff.

“I brought condoms.” he tells you, pulling a box from his bag and setting them down on the desk he’s sitting by.

“I- I’m on the pill.” you respond. “I heard it feels better without… those. But we should use them.”

“Okay, yeah.” he agrees.

“… but we don’t have to.”

“I’ll use one.” he assures you, not wanting to make you feel pressured to go raw for his benefit. Though you’re sure it would be for yours, too. “If you want me to take it off, I can do that.”

You nod, agreeing.

“This is so…” you think, searching around the room for any inspiration of a descriptor to use. He stares at you, intently, wondering what you might say. He’d never tell you, but he’s just as nervous as you are. Of course he has an edge of experience ahead of you, but he’s still clueless. He wants to make sure this is going to be nice for you.

Perfect, if possible.

“What?”

“Formal.” you shrug.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” he responds, scratching his neck as he thinks about what you told him. He looks around, feeling a little too awkward to make eye contact. “I just want to make sure everything’s going to be okay…”

“It’s fine, you’re right.” you smile, “I just thought my first time would be… romantic. It’s stupid, I’m sorry.” you shake your head, dismissing the idea.

You knew you’d end up here with him eventually. You had no intention of losing your virginity to anyone else, after all. You’ve been in love with him for years, and finding out he got a girlfriend almost killed you. It was hard hearing about how they became intimate, but you were so fucking relieved when they broke up.

He only decided to get a girlfriend because he thought you weren’t interested in him, though. You’ve always been a forbidden fruit he wouldn’t dare try to cross a line with. You’re his best friend, after all. He wouldn’t want the romantic feelings he has towards you to ruin that.

“It’s not stupid.” he assures you. “Here, pick some music.” he hands you his phone.

You start to scroll and realise you’re looking on a playlist he created aptly named sex playlist. It makes you giggle, but you don’t comment. And you don’t pay him any mind as he leaves the room while you continue searching for a song.

The boy has good taste, you soon realise.

He comes back a few minutes later with some candles from a nearby cupboard. He knows you too well. You hoard them, you always have. You get an abundance each year for Christmas and rarely use them. He starts lighting them and placing them around the room.

You finally look up as he turns the light on, the room dimly lit by the burning flames scattered around.

“Is this better? I should have gotten some rose petals or something…”

“N-No, this is fine.” you smile, “Thank you, Rinnie, this is nice.”

He clears his throat and sits beside you on your bed. You quickly hand him his phone, prompting him to lean over to place it back down on your desk.

Your heartbeat begins to increase rapidly as he faces you. You haven’t even so much as kissed before, let alone what else will follow. He reaches out to caress your face, and it takes all of your willpower to not flinch.

“R-Rin… do you, um, d-do you watch…”

“Porn? Yeah. Do you?”

His reply makes your face flush with heat and the thought of confessing your own truth makes you even hotter. You look away from him, twiddling your fingers in your lap and looking at those instead.

“I know it won’t be like that… it’s your first time. And mine.” he reminds you.

He’s always been so mature. And you’re glad he’s doing all he can to put you at ease. He puts a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him again. You gulp, nervously, before nodding. He smirks at that.

“Good, I’m glad,” he tells you, beautiful jade eyes flickering with flames as he stares at you. “Means you know what you like.” he leans into you, an attempt to kiss which you immediately back away from. And you apologise, profusely, assuring him that you’re still a little nervous.

“I— I know guys can, you know, it can be quick… s-so don’t feel bad.”

“Don’t worry about that.” he shakes his head. “If I cum quickly, I’ll make sure you finish.”

He closes the distance between the two of you, his lips planting softly on your own. His eyes close as he loses himself to it, though you keep yours open for a little while as you process what is happening.

You’re making out with your best friend!

Though when his large, dominating hands begin to fondle your chest, you pull away entirely.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” he wonders.

“N-No, I didn’t expect you to be so confident.” you whisper, and he kisses you again, smiling into it.

Your eyes close as you allow him to continue locking lips with you. His hand entirely gropes one of your tits and his thumb casually strokes over it. Even through the layers of your crop top and bra, you find yourself mewling softly.

He smooths his hand over the curve of your waist until he reaches the bottom of your crop top. His fingers breach upwards towards your bra, roughly groping at it and the fat of your tits.

“O-Ow.” you speak, softly.

“Sorry,” he whispers back, “Can I take your top off?” he asks between continuous kisses.

“Uh-huh.” you nod, dumbly.

He breaks the kiss to quickly pull your crop top over your head. His lips attach to yours again almost instantly as he starts to fiddle with your bra. He stops kissing you, again, to look over your shoulder so that he can undo the clasp. You gasp when he finally unhooks it, keeping the pink material against your chest to preserve your modesty.

“Can I see?” he asks, his eyes moving between yours and your hands. You hum, nervously, but nod. He helps you pull down your straps as you keep the material held firmly against your chest. Sighing, slightly panic in your voice as you strip the material away. “Fuuuuck…” he mutters to himself, adjusting his hardening cock in his pants as he looks at you.

“You should take something off.” you suggest before he can kiss you again. He immediately pulls his t-shirt over his head, tousling his hair back into place right after.

You continue to moan against his lips when he kisses you again. And they only get louder as he kisses down your neck whilst flicking his thumb over your pebbled nipple. He grunts against your skin, battling on whether he should say something to you or stay silent.

He’d hate to ruin the mood.

“Are you hard yet?” you ask him, your shy demeanour leaving you as you lose yourself to the sensation of his hands caressing your body. “S-Should we do it?”

“Wanna feel?” he asks, not waiting for an answer as he pulls your hand towards the bulge in his jeans, moaning immediately from the contact. “Look what you’ve done to me.” he laughs, pulling you closer and hooking one of your legs over his own.

He scratches the back of his nails up your thigh, stopping just short of dipping under your skirt as you shiver from the touch. His eyes find yours, kissing you reassuringly.

“Can I feel you?” he wonders, and, of course, you nod. His fingers disappear under your pleated skirt, quickly cupping your panty-clad mound. He barely gasps when he comes into contact with your panties. “You’re so wet…”

“S-Stop…” you reply, shyly, “s’embarrassing…” you tell him.

“You need to be wet for me,” he responds, that big, logical, brain of his immediately putting you in your place. Reminding you that he is the one with a little more experience and you need to listen to him. “You’ll be so tight… even for a finger.”

He forces your body down, flat against the bed and flips up your skirt. The cute triangular shape of your panties makes his cock throb, and he moves them into the crease of your thigh.

“Tell me if it hurts…” he requests, staring into your eyes as deft fingers come into contact with sopping flesh. He runs them through your folds, and you jolt when a finger tip grazes your clit. He moves it towards your hole, slowly teasing around it before pushing in. He stops, quickly, when you yelp. “Sorry, I’ll go slower. Hold onto me.” he instructs, a hand wraps around his bicep and squeezes as he continues to plunge his longer finger deep inside.

“Kiss me,” you whimper, pathetically. He drops his head so that your lips can meet again. He devours the moans and cries you emit as he curls his finger in and out of you. It feels odd, but not unpleasant. It’s still painful but it begins to subside.

“Gonna add another, okay?” he asks, and you nod. You hiss, instantly, hands flying down to pull his away. “Sh, sh sh, I’ll go slow again, okay? Gotta be able to take them or we can’t fuck.”

You fight back tears as the stretch begins to sting. He sinks his head lower, taking one of your hardened nipples into his mouth. Your back arches off the bed slightly, coaxing him to look up at you. And then he remembers all of articles he’s read. All of the research he’s done.

He even thinks about his teammates talking about sex.

“You have to worship the clit.” he recalls one of them saying.

He pulls away from your tit, briefly, to line his thumb up with your clit and apply pressure. He circles it carefully, monitoring your expressions as he does. You yelp, trying to close your legs, but he opens them back up with his free hand.

“Are you gonna cum?” he wonders.

“It’s too much, Rinnie!” you gasp, skin tightening over your knuckles until they turn white as you grip the sheets. “S-Slow down, please! S’too much!” you cry, unable to hold back your tears any longer.

He doesn’t relent, however. Hoping the way your body trembles means you’re about to cream all over his fingers. It was an achievement he never reached with his ex without her assistance. She showed him how and where to touch to make her cum. But you’re not her. You’re perfect.

You gasp, breathlessly, as your pussy begins to tighten around his fingers. Your clit throbs as he teases it just right and you begin to cum hard and fast for him. He kisses between the valley of your breaths, whispering sweet nothings as you reach your peak and plummet back down to earth. He slows down his ministrations as you begin to shudder and twitch from the after shocks, looking up at you adoringly when you start to calm down.

“Good?” he asks.

“Very,” you pant, laughing lightly as you find your sense again. “Rinnie…” you speak, your confident bravado disappearing again as you feel naked and exposed.

“Yeah?”

“Promise me… promise you’re a virgin, too…” you say, looking up at the ceiling. You feel too needy and desperate as you speak. But that was too good for him to not know what’s he’s doing. He’s seriously only done that once on another girl? It’s a little hard to believe.

“I promise. Was it really that good?” he smirks. He kisses both of your nipples softly before sucking his fingers clean of your juices. “I’ve been preparing… reading about stuff. Asking advice. I’ve told you everything I’ve done, I swear.”

He stands up, unbuttoning his jeans and kicking off his shoes at the same time. He pulls of his jeans and underwear in the same movement, revealing his large, blushing cock.

“We don’t have to do this.” he assures you, picking up a condom from your desk and tearing the foil with his teeth. He rolls it down his length, the rubbery sheen covers the pretty pink colour of his dick. “Do you want to stop?”

“Um,” you think about it. He’s asking as if he isn’t already raring to go. You look between his erection and his intimidating stare as you think about what to say.

“What about just the tip?” he asks. And at that, you nod. He reaches under your skirt and pulls down your panties to ogle your drippy cunt one more time. He feels himself throb at the thought of splitting your virgin hole open on his fat cock. He’s always known he was big, and he really doesn’t want to hurt you. He can only hope his fingering was enough prep before you rob each other of your innocence for good.

He lines up his cockhead with your virgin slot as he cages you in beneath his wide frame. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss you, your moan semi silenced as he pushes his tip in.

Oh God this isn’t enough.

He knew he’d need more.

Just a little more.

He pushes in a bit further, and you pull your lips away from his to voice your concern.

“H-Hurts,” you tell him. “You’re really big.” you inflate his ego further, earning another inch of his cock.

He can’t help it, you’re spurring him on!

And he can only imagine how much better you’d feel wrapped around him without this stupid fucking rubber on. He stops pushing when you place your palms on his shoulders, forcing him to pull back a little. “Is it the condom, Rin? Is it t-too dry?” you wonder, batting your eyelashes up at him so innocently.

“Yes.” he replies, without hesitation. “I’ll take it off.”

He pulls out of you instantly. He hisses a little as he pulls at the condom too hard and it snaps back. He decides to push it up from the base of his cock, lining up with your cunt again right after.

And it’s like you’re made for him as he pushes in. He smothers any whimper you can make with a searing kiss. You feel his tongue slip into your mouth as he pushes in further and further until there’s nothing left to give.

You’re crying, again, not expecting to feel so much so soon.

“God, you’re beautiful.” he praises you. He moves his hips, slowly. His cockhead unintentionally nudges against your soft spot with every rut. The blinding pleasure prevents you from telling him, once again, that it hurts and it’s too much. “I know I said just the tip, jus’ feel so good, princess.” he whispers delicately against your skin.

And, as expected, he doesn’t last long.

A few pathetic strokes of his cock inside of you have him spilling thick spurts of white cream into your unprotected walls. He collapses on top of you, panting violently as he stuffs you full.

He was so backed up before this. He masturbates, of course, but not as much as the average guy. You’ve had this planned for a few weeks, now, so he decided to abstain so he could really enjoy feeling you for the first time.

“Fuck, ‘m sorry. Should have jerked off before I came over.”

“It’s okay.” you tell him, fingers mussing through his hair as you come to terms with the fact that you’ve finally lost your virginity, to your best friend of all people.

“I need to fuck you again,” he confesses, your fingers stop as you look down at him.

“W- now?”

“Soon,” he corrects you. “I want to taste you first.”

© 2023 rinhaler

[anamika9]

As a Delhi-based life coach, I specialize in one-on-one coaching sessions that can help you gain clarity, answer tough questions, and move forward with confidence.

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[hauntedhowlett-writes]

𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐛 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x female reader

rating: explicit

word count: 4.1k

summary: joel agrees to go out to tommy’s favorite bar, where he watches you ride a mechanical bull and wishes you would ride him.

warnings: explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), no use of y/n, dual POV, no defined reader age or physical appearance besides outfits, alcohol use, joel getting slapped, tommy is a little shit, first date anxiety, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, praise, pet names, girl on top, couch sex, unprotected p in v, teasing, deep throating, more men whimpering and begging 2k23. let me know if any warnings are missing!

author’s note: look, i know i’m in the middle of my spooky specials but i saw two very specific tik toks that left me with the need to write this 😵‍💫 also this post layout is inspired by @bits-and-babs, whose works and aesthetic are chef’s kiss.

“Why did you pick this place?” Joel grumbles, hand wrapped around a sweating bottle of beer. People keep jostling him as they squeeze past, forcing him to keep his elbow tight to his side to avoid having his beer be collateral damage.

“You’ll see,” Tommy says with a cryptic wink. Joel rolls his eyes.

Tommy has dragged him out to a saloon style bar, complete with swinging wooden doors and longhorn skulls decorating the walls. Everything is shiny dark wood and western motif, down to the saddle style barstools. Most of the patrons have leaned into the theme, too — tassels, leather, cowboys hats, and ostentatious belt buckles.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen!” A man’s voice calls out over the speakers. “The show is about to begin!”

“Show?” Joel asks dubiously. Tommy only grins at him, dragging him by the arm towards the back of the bar.

He weaves through the crowd until they’re only behind a few rows of people that have gathered around a mechanical bull riding ring, of all things. The floor of the ring is inflatable and in the middle sits the brown bull figure. Joel catches his first glimpse of you, a gorgeous woman in denim cut offs standing beside the bull. Your black leather halter top plunges low to expose your cleavage and stops short of the waist of your shorts, a tantalizing strip of your stomach on display. The black leather of the top matches your black leather boots and the cuffs snapped around your wrists.

“One of Salty Saloon’s very own has stepped up to take the bull by the horns tonight!”

You lift a hand to wave, bright smile on your face as you take in the crowd. Your eyes land on Joel and for a brief moment he swears he stops breathing. He can’t hear anything the emcee is saying, all the noise around him just a dull buzz as he watches you swing yourself up onto the back of the bull.

“Alright, alright, alright! Our rider’s goal is to stay on for one minute using only one hand! If she falls before the buzzer, y’all get nothin’. But if she makes it, shots are half off for the rest of the night!”

A cacophony of cheers erupts around Joel and you straighten your spine, holding your hand out with a thumbs up. The music starts, some pop song he’s heard on the radio in the morning when he’s taking Sarah to school, and the mechanical bull turns in a slow circle. You have one hand twisted in a leather strap, the other raised above your head as the bull bucks and swings, your hips moving smoothly with the machine.

“Goddamn,” someone says from behind Joel. “I ain’t ever wanted to be a bull so bad in my life.”

Me, too, he thinks.

Your thighs press tight against the sides of the bull as it swings around, turning you to face the section of crowd Joel stands in. You release the hand grip, both hands in the air now as you rely solely on your legs and core to keep you up on the machine. When the machine turns again, you manage to lift your body and swing your legs around to reverse your position, now seated facing the back of the bull.

“Alright, ten more seconds!” The emcee calls out. The crowd starts to cheer your name and Joel can’t help but join in, eyes glued to you as you continue to swing and sway like all the movements are nothing but second nature to you.

“Three! Two! One!”

A cowbell goes off, signaling the end of your ride. The bull slows to a stop and you sit there for a moment to catch your breath, waving at the crowd. The bar owner, Johnny, comes out onto the crash pad with a huge grin on his face.

“Great job up there, kid. Now go sell some half priced shots,” he says with a good natured pat on your shoulder.

You return to the bar, where the other two bartenders scheduled tonight field the after-show rush, lining up shot glasses and filling them in quick succession with the requested liquor. When you get behind the bar, a familiar head of curly hair catches your eye.

“Tommy!” You call, excited to see one of you favorite regulars. He shouts your name as you stop in front of him.

“This is my brother, Joel!” He says, slapping the back of the man beside him. You’d seen him in the crowd, a handsome guy with broad shoulders stretching a dark blue t-shirt, warm tan skin, and messy curls that speak to the family resemblance between him and Tommy. You reach a hand across the bar, Joel’s calloused fingers dragging against your palm as you greet the man.

“It’s nice to meet you, Joel. Can I get y’all anything?” You ask. Tommy grins.

“Let me get this man a slap shot!” He yells.

You glance at Joel. “That okay with you?” You ask.

His eyes are comically wide as he nods. You step back to ring the bell behind the bar, your fellow bartenders whooping and cheering, a chant of “SLAP SHOT! SLAP SHOT!” echoing around you.

Haley sets a glass of water on the bar for you and you grab a pint glass, filling it with ice and two ounces of Jim Beam and amaretto. You smack the steel shaker on top, grabbing both glasses and shaking them vigorously over your shoulder.

You strain the contents of the shaker into a shot glass, amber liquid flowing to the brim. When you’ve got everything ready, you leave the back of the bar and squeeze your way through the crowd until you’re in front of the two brothers and can hoist yourself up onto the bar.

“Alright, Joel, are you ready?” You shout. He looks a little confused, brows pinched tight over kind brown eyes, but he nods anyway, holding his hand out for the shot glass. Tommy watches with a shit eating grin. “Three! Two! One!”

Joel takes the shot and you follow it with a glass of water to his face and a slap across his jaw in quick succession. Tommy is howling with laughter and Joel’s face is one of pure shock, red blooming across the skin of his cheek. He turns to his brother.

“Tommy, what the fuck!” Joel shouts. His hand wraps into the neck of Tommy’s shirt. “You little fuckin’ shit!”

You have the sinking realization that Joel wasn’t prepared for what a slap shot entails. You had just assumed this was something Tommy had told him about, having been to the bar so much the last few months.

Joel looks mad as hell, his shoulders tense and you worry he may actually throw a punch at Tommy. You hop from the bar and get between the two men, pressing a hand to their chests and pushing them apart.

"You, come with me," you say, pointing to Joel. "And you," -- you jab a finger into Tommy's chest -- "are on my shit list."

You take Joel by the hand and guide him to the back office, shutting the door and muffling the noises of the bar beyond it. His face is still dripping wet and the water dripping from his chin has gathered into a sizeable spot on the collar of his shirt.

"I am so, so sorry," you start, rifling through the storage cabinet for a bar towel. You hold it out to him, avoiding his gaze. "Tommy comes here so much that I just thought he'd told you about what a slap shot was. I should have told you, oh my god."

"Hey, it's okay. I ain't mad at you," Joel says, running the towel over his damp face. "Tommy, though. I'm gonna kick his fuckin' ass later."

"Still," you mumble, twisting your hands together nervously. "I'm sorry. Is your cheek okay?"

He rubs the towel over his head to dry his hair a bit, the action leaving him adorable mussed, curly strands sticking up in every direction. You're staring at him, maybe a little too much, but who can blame you? The man is hot.

"Yeah, trust me. I've had worse," Joel replies with a laugh.

"You get slapped by women often?" You tease.

"The number of times ain't just one."

"Oh, a bad boy. Mama warned me about guys like you."

He laughs again, long and low, running a hand through his hair. "Well, thank you for the towel."

"Right. And your next drink is on me. As an apology," you tell him.

"I'd rather get your number," he says. "You know, as an apology."

You raise your eyebrows at him before turning to the manager's desk, grabbing a marker and tugging the cap off with your teeth. You slide a hand down his arm, lifting his forearm up so that you can write down your number across the smooth, tan skin.

"I'm off next weekend," you comment when you've recapped the marker.

"I'll keep that in mind," Joel replies with a grin.

Joel's nervous as he waits outside of your apartment building in his truck, fingers tapping a nameless tune against the steering wheel. It's Saturday night and he's here to pick you up for dinner at a restaurant in downtown Austin, one that required he dig out the old black button down he keeps shoved in the back of his closet for parent-teacher conferences and funerals.

The front door to your building opens and you emerge, dressed in a pretty red wrap dress and black heels. Joel gets out of the truck and jogs around to the passenger side to open the door for you and he's surprised when you lean up and kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey," you say in greeting, climbing into the truck and settling into the passenger seat, your purse on your lap. Joel can't help the dopey grin that's surely stretched across his face.

“Hey, yourself. You look nice,” he replies. He shuts the door and jogs around the the driver’s side.

“You don’t look so bad either,” you tell him as he starts the truck up. He can feel his cheeks get warm and he hopes that you can’t see him the proof of his nerves in the dark cab.

At the restaurant, the host leads you both to a small table towards the back of the restaurant, pristine white tablecloth topped with a small vase of flowers and a flickering votive candle. A waiter in a white button down comes by to take your drink orders before disappearing the the kitchen, leaving the two of you regarding each other in silence.

“Look, I gotta be honest about somethin’,” Joel says, leg bouncing beneath the table. “I’ve got a kid. Sarah, she’s thirteen. Light of my life, you know?” He takes a deep breath before finishing with, “And I don’t think I’ve even been on a date since she’s been born, so this is just…a little new to me.”

“You have a kid?” You ask. For a moment Joel worries that he may have ended this before it could even get a chance to begin, but then your face lights up with a sweet smile and you ask, “Will you tell me about her?”

Joel does. In between ordering and eating your delicious meals, you and Joel discuss anything and everything. He tells you about Sarah and his contracting work, while you tell him about your full time job as a pharmacy technician, the gig at the bar a part time thing on some weekends. He nearly makes you snort your water out of your nose with a story about rescuing Tommy from the bathroom of the girl he’d been seeing when her long distance boyfriend, who Tommy didn’t know existed, showed up at her apartment.

“Oh my god,” you exclaim breathlessly. “And he just jumped out of the bathroom window?”

“To be fair, she had a first floor unit,” Joel confirms. “His royal pain in the ass still made me take him to urgent care because he thought he broke his ankle.”

“You’re a good brother,” you say with a smile. Joel feels the warmth of it in his veins.

After dinner, the ride back to your place is quiet, the comfortable silence filled with the low music from the radio. In a moment of bravery, Joel reaches over and lays a hand on your low thigh, just above your knee as he drives. He refuses to look over at you, but from the corner of his eye he sees you look down at his hand before looking back out the window.

He counts that as a win.

He pulls up the curb outside your apartment and kills the engine. You speak before he has a chance to agonize over what to say.

“Will you walk me to my door?” You ask.

He feels relief and anxiety in one fell swoop. He agonizes internally over whether to kiss you goodnight as he follows you up the stairs to your apartment, the buzzing in his brain momentarily silenced while he watches your hips sway as you climb the steps.

You stop on the second floor, guiding him down a long hallway to a door marked with a black metal number three. You turn to face him, looking up at him through your lashes.

“This is me,” you murmur. Joel swallows nervously.

“Right. I, uh…I had a really great time tonight,” he says.

“Would you…want to come inside?”

Joel’s brain short circuits. “Would I—? Yeah.”

You turn to unlock the door, pushing into your apartment and Joel follows you inside. The apartment is dark but you quickly turn on the lights as you move further inside, illuminating an open living room with a dining nook. There’s a door off to the right that he assumes is your bedroom and an open kitchen to the left. It’s small, but it’s cozy, bursting with colors and fabrics and mismatched furniture.

“Well, this is home,” you say with a shrug. You set your purse down on the small circular dining table. “Can I get you anything to drink? I’ve got beer, some liquor on the bar cart over there if you want to have a look.”

“Beer is fine,” Joel says, taking a seat on the comfy looking couch. You return with a bottle of beer, passing it to him before settling in beside him, kicking off your heels and drawing your legs up beneath you.

He takes a sip, fortifying his nerves. He wasn’t lying when he said it’s been a long time since he’s been on a date, but even sex has been a distant thought for the last year or so. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

“So,” you start, your elbow pressed into the back couch cushion while you lean your face into the palm of your hand. “You wanna know what I think?”

“‘Bout what?” Joel asks.

“You.”

“You got a report card ready for me already?”

“I think” — you take the beer bottle from his hand, setting it on the coffee table — “you’ve spent a long time being a caretaker. Right? You’ve got Tommy, who was already a handful. Your daughter, who’s obviously priority number one. You’ve got a business to worry about, workers to care for.” You shuffle closer on your knees, swinging a leg over his and settling yourself onto his lap. “This okay?” You ask.

“Yeah,” he replies, probably a bit too enthusiastically. His fingers curl into the couch cushions and he wants to reach up to wrap his hands around your waist but he’s not sure if he should.

You play with the collar of his shirt. “What do you think about having someone take care of you for a change?”

Joel’s stomach flips, cock jumping in interest as the blood in his brain rushes south and leaves him only capable of responding with a mumbled, “Oh?”

“I just think you deserve someone treating you real nice,” you say with a shrug. Deft fingers work at undoing the buttons of his shirt. “Especially when I was so mean when we met, slapping you across the face like I did.”

“Told you not to worry ‘bout that,” he replies, head dropping against the back cushions. “S’not like I didn’t like it.”

“You like to be roughed up a little, Mr. Miller?”

“Maybe.”

Your grin is wicked as you drag your nails down the now exposed skin of his chest. He hisses at the sting of it.

“Interesting,” you murmur. You lean close, chest pressed against his, hands coming up to frame his face. Your nails scratch through his beard now and he groans his appreciation.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. “Please?”

You respond by pressing your lips to his, chaste as first. Your mouths move together slowly, feeling each other out. It’s you that takes it deeper, tracing your tongue over his bottom lip and dipping it inside to tangle with his. He wraps his arms around your low back, holding you tightly in his lap as he consumes you, drunk on the feeling of your breath in his lungs.

You drags yours lips away from his with a slick sound, trailing them along his jaw and towards his ear. You nip at his earlobe, teeth gentle and breath hot before whispering, “Can I suck your cock, Joel?”

A whimper claws it’s way up Joel’s throat as he nods, already unable to form words. He’s no stranger to turning into a puddle for a pretty woman but he’s certain this must be a new record.

You slip from his lap and kneel on the floor, pushing his legs apart so that you can settle in between them. Your hands reach for his belt, tugging on the buckle and pulling it loose so that you can pop the button of his jeans and tug the zipper down, the metallic sound loud in the quiet room.

Your fingers curl into the waist of his jeans and Joel lifts his hips a bit to aid you in tugging them halfway down his thighs. His cock tents his boxers in an obscene way, a wet spot already staining the fabric. You run your palms up his thighs before bracketing his member between your hands, lightly running your thumbs up his length.

“Christ,” Joel says, teeth digging into his lip.

“That feel good?” You ask.

“Uh huh.”

You smile beatifically before leaning forward, warm breath on his covered cock as you press gentle kisses through the fabric. Joel’s hips twitch and he lets out a deep groan.

You tug the elastic of his boxers over his length, tucking it beneath his balls. He’s practically vibrating with need but you continue to take your sweet time, pressing more kisses along his shaft, tracing the tip of your tongue over the prominent vein.

“You have a pretty cock, Joel,” you say, wrapping your hand around the base of him to hold him steady. It’s a struggle to keep his eyes open but he doesn’t want to miss the sight of your tongue lapping at the bead of precum gathered on his flushed tip, or the way your own eyes flutter shut as you let out a little moan of appreciation.

You wrap your lips around his cock, taking him inch by agonizing inch into your warm mouth and Joel feels any semblance of sanity disappear from his lust clouded brain. Your eyes stay fixed on him as take him in as far as you can, throat fluttering around the sensitive head when you swallow before pulling up, twirling your tongue around the tip, and plunging back down.

“Christ,” Joel groans, reaching out to cup your cheek. “You look so goddamn good like that.”

You lift off his cock and take it in your hand, moving it across your lips as you ask, “Like what?”

“Chokin’ on my cock, sweetheart,” he growls.

“That was nothing.”

Joel’s about to ask what you mean when you lower your mouth over his length once more. He can feel you flatten your tongue, your throat and jaw relaxing enough to take him to the very base, your nose tickling the wiry curls on his pelvis. He moans as you swallow around him, breathing through your nose and holding yourself there for a moment before coming up with a gasp, tears gathered in the corners of your eyes and spit making your chin shiny in the low light.

“So…I could keep doing this,” you tell him, “or…”

“Or?” He asks.

“Or…you could let me make us both feel good.”

You stand up, your hands untying the knot that holds your dress together so you can push it off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor in a heap. You push your panties down your legs and unhook your bra, leaving you gloriously naked in front him, every inch of you like a piece of art meant to be admired. Joel’s hands, greedy and unfulfilled up until now, reach up to grip your hips and pull you onto his lap, your pussy hot and wet against his cock. He lets his hands wander over every inch of exposed skin, relishing the way your ass fits in his palms and the way you hiss when his thumb caresses a tight nipple.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he moans, his lips against your rapid pulse, teeth ghosting the thin skin of your neck. “Need you so bad, baby.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” you whisper, reaching between your bodies to hold his throbbing cock steady, notching it at your soaked entrance and beginning a slow slide down.

Joel is panting against your sweat slick chest, mumbling desperate words into your skin as you take him inside of you as slowly as you can, thighs burning with the effort. When you’ve finally seated yourself on his lap, his head drops back to the cushion, eyes squeezed shut tightly and fingers nearly bruising on your thighs.

“Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move,” he begs. “Oh, fuck, feels so good.”

Where he’s desperate for you to stay still, you’re already desperate to move. His cock is perfect, thick and long with a slight upward curve, pressing up against your g-spot with stunning accuracy. You’re certain this won’t last long for either of you.

You rock slowly, forward and back, little movements of your hips. Joel lifts his head, looking down at where your bodies are connected with dark eyes. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, tangling your fingers in his hair and giving it a sharp tug that has him hissing your name.

You start to move more quickly, rolling your body in smooth waves over his. He’s panting as he looks up at you, sweat gathering at his temple, and his hands grip your ass and follow your movement reverently.

“So fuckin’ good,” he moans, “you’re gonna make me come, baby, goddamn.”

You speed up, bouncing on his lap now. Your couch creaks the slightest bit, protesting your movements, but you don’t care — all you care about is the man beneath you and the desperate little noises spilling from his lips as you make good on your promise to take care of him.

“Touch me,” you command. “I’m so close, Joel, please.”

He’s a good listener, your Joel, his thumb immediately finding your clit and circling it with messy movements that drive you wild, that tension in your muscles coiling tighter. Joel’s hips flex into yours with each drop down his length, the room echoing with the lewd sounds of skin against skin and the chorus of whimpers that spill from both of you.

“Joel, Joel, Joel,” you chant. He wraps his arms around you, really thrusting into you now as your own movements falter and you collapse forward, head buried against his neck as you come, trembling with the strength of it.

It’s not long after that he goes still, cock pulsing inside of you as the aftershocks of your orgasm wash over you. You stay slumped against each other, catching your breaths and waiting for your racing hearts to come back down to earth.

“That was…,” Joel says with a breathless laugh that shakes his chest. His fingers play up and down your back, soothing and gentle. “Goddamn, that was amazin’.”

“Yeah?” You ask, lifting your head. You smooth his messy hair back from his forehead. “You weren’t so bad either.”

He nips at your neck in retaliation, making you laugh and squirm away from him.

“Do you have to get going?” You ask.

“No,” he replies. “Tommy’s watchin’ Sarah for me tonight. He owes me one. Besides, I’m ain’t done with you yet.”

“No?”

“Not even close, darlin’.”

Joel Miller masterlist

All masterlists

[falling-endlessly]

Try Me

Vox x Female!Reader

Summary: You still have a few lessons to learn when it comes to teasing your boss.

Warnings: NSFW (18+), dub-con (kind of) INSPIRED BY THIS POST

Vox deserved a pat on the back for his patience. Truly.

You were relentless, hovering in his periphery, making him tense in anticipation for the next bullshit you were about to pull. First it was lingering touches on his hand when you brought him his coffee. Then it was bending over right in front of him in the conference room, enough for him to glimpse the pretty red and blue thong you were wearing underneath. But really, the cherry on top was the way you "accidentally" tripped on your heels, conveniently falling into him. One manicured hand dragged down his chest, the other down his thigh, right beside his straining cock as profuse, insincere apologies spilled from your lips.

Suffice to say, he was at his fucking limit. His self restraint was impressive, but not infinite.

"Mister Vox, where are we going?" You frowned questioningly as you scurried to keep up with his fast paces.

"A new office just opened up on the next floor," he hummed. "I figured you'd like to take a look at it before deciding if you want it."

"Oh, really? That's great!" You grinned, before it faded into a puzzled look. "But, why didn't you just tell me the room number? Not to pry, but you seem busy today, and I'd hate to distract you from your work."

Vox's smile strained, a low electric buzz emanating from his speakers. "Not to worry, my dear. I'd really rather show you myself."

You blinked innocently. "Well, if you insist."

He sent you a promising grin, but otherwise remained silent.

The walk to the "empty office" dragged on excruciatingly. Even if the whole floor was actually empty, he wanted to keep up with the facade you both were playing at, and not shove you into the first room with a door that he saw (even if he really, really wanted to) .

"Here we are," he announced cheerfully. The room was actually the most expansive one on the floor, completely furnished with a modern work station, a built in gas fireplace, and plush velvet couches. You barely took a step inside, eyes wide with awe, before he grabbed your neck, slamming you against the wall as he kicked the door closed with his foot. It locked automatically.

"Tell me, did you have fun?" He sneered, tightening his grip when you didn't respond immediately.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't—" you winced when he pressed closer, before choking out. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really?" He smirked dangerously, eyes wide and unhinged, before a clawed hand travelled down your waist. The tearing sound of your clothes made you gasp, your torn skirt falling uselessly to the ground as he greedily inspected your underwear. A slender finger hooked under the waistband, before letting it snap back against your skin.

"Red and blue stripes," he snorted. "A coincidence?"

"Fuck you," you spat, but there was an excited glint in your eyes.

"Oh, you will," he chuckled darkly, before grabbing you and roughly forcing you to kneel beside the desk. He took a seat on the office chair, grinning wickedly as he spread his legs leisurely. "But you're going to have to earn it first, doll."

Your mouth watered, hands grasping greedily at his knees, before sliding up to his crotch. Vox groaned when you slid your fingers over the edges of his cock, just barely missing where he really wanted them. You repeated this action a few more times, watching with satisfaction as his brow twitched in mounting frustration, before he finally snapped, grabbing your chin harshly and forcing you to look up at him.

"Fuckin' tease," he growled, baring his teeth. "You're going to regret that." His voice took on a deeper, more electronic tone at the end of his sentence.

"Will I?" You smiled coyly, making his grin widen. Challenge accepted.

In one smooth motion, he unzipped his pants and dragged down his underwear, making his pulsing cock spring up from its confines. Vox grit his teeth when the open air hit it, overly sensitive from your constant teasing.

You stared at it with wide eyes, mouth open as you took in the electric blue lines running up his shaft in a technological design, all leading to the weeping blue tip. Your warm breath puffed on the feverish skin, making him close his eyes in concentration, regulating his breathing.

"Something wrong, sir?" You asked innocently, and he almost busted on the spot from just that title alone. Here you were on your knees for him, and yet he was the one under your control. Oh, the irony.

"Not at all," he growled, fisting a handful of your hair at the back of your head, before shoving you forward onto his cock.

And holy fuck, the way you opened your mouth so obligingly, like you were waiting for this moment—like you'd practiced for it. He had to stab his own leg with his claws to control himself. Coppery blood ran down his skin in small rivulets.

You moaned deeply around his cock, the vibrations making him throw his head back with a gasp. "F-Fuck."

You glanced up at him knowingly, your pretty eyes batting at him as your lips slid up and down his dick. Then you swirled your tongue under his shaft, and wasn't that something. Vox let out a guttural sound that he didn't even know he was capable of, barely able to keep eye contact with you as he guided your head on his cock.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he panted, legs trembling with the effort not to cum. He needed to teach you a lesson, after all, and he couldn't do that with a limp dick.

Then, you did something that made his vision fucking white out. You started to swallow—and good god, he couldn't keep this up anymore.

He shoved you harshly off of his dick, your mouth leaving with a loud pop.

"Brat," he bared his teeth, before clawing violently at your shirt. The thin material didn't stand a chance, fluttering off in shredded ribbons. Then he ripped apart your bra, making your round tits bounce out. His jaw dropped a little as he stared at them, his cock twitching in longing. Fuck, was any part of you not perfect?

"Hey," you protested, glaring at him indignantly. "Those were expensive."

"I'll buy you ten more," he said distractedly, before pulling you up to stand. Your hands gripped the edges of his backrest, tits hovering inches from his face.

"I think it's time we give these," his hands came up to grip them, squeezing them playfully. "A little love, hm?"

To your amazement, a glowing blue tongue poked out of his mouth, curling around a pebbled bud. Your jaw dropped in ecstasy, unable to take your eyes off of the surreal view of Vox licking at your tits, red eyes flickering up to meet your half-lidded ones. You pushed closer in a silent plea for more.

"Ah, ah," Vox retracted his tongue, making you whimper from the loss. "Behave, or this stops now."

You nodded quickly, staring down at him pleadingly.

He let go of your tits, unsatisfied. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Yes, I'll behave," you whispered desperately.

"Yes, what?" He sneered.

"Yes sir," you cried, moaning loudly when he grabbed a hold of your tits again, tugging you closer.

"Good girl," he grinned wickedly, before his tongue was generously laving over your tits, swirling attentively over your nipples.

"A-Ahhh," you sobbed, struggling to stay still as his hand squeezed and massaged your mounds.

"Thought you could tease me and get away with it? You fucking slut," he growled, harshly sucking a nipple into his mouth. He released it after a few moments, digging his claws into your flesh. "Or maybe, you wanted this to happen," he grinned knowingly, making you shiver. "Oh you did, didn't you?"

He grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you down so he could whisper in your ear, "Sweetheart, if you wanted me to split you open on my cock, all you had to do was ask."

Your breath hitched as he grabbed your hips, turning you around and shoving you onto the desk. "Hands above your head." He ordered firmly.

You obediently laid your palms flat on the surface, above your head. Your breath quickened in excitement as you felt his hands grab your ass, squeezing tightly and spreading your cheeks.

"Fuck," you heard him curse, before slender fingers crept between your thighs, rubbing gently. Your legs trembled as he easily slipped in a finger, pumping it a few times before slipping it out again.

Unable to hold back your curiosity, you turned back to look at him, only for your breath to stutter at the sight.

Vox had his eyes closed, long tongue swirling around his middle and index fingers like a lollipop. Your unmistakable slick dripped onto his tongue, and he greedily swallowed it with a contented sigh.

"Fucking delicious," he grinned, leering at your trembling form. "What, too much for you to handle?"

"Try me," you gasped, making his eye widen, electricity sparking from it.

"I'll make you beg for my cock," he laughed dangerously, before disappearing between your legs.

You barely had the chance to process what just happened, before a strangled scream left your lips, your hips shoving further into his mouth.

"Shhh babygirl," he pulled back, squeezing your ass gently. "Wouldn't want someone to hear, now would you?"

"No sir," you bit your lip, tears prickling the corners of your eyes.

"See? This is why you're my favorite," he chuckled, giving your pussy a rough pat. Then he replaced it with his warm tongue, and your eyes rolled back in your head.

He flicked it gently over your clit, pulling back to lather over your dripping hole, before circling back teasingly. You shuddered, tears freely streaming down your face as you moaned softly. A tight pressure was building in your stomach, growing closer and closer to snapping the more attention he showered you in.

"V-Vox," you gasped out. "I—I'm gonna—"

He pulled away abruptly, making you whimper pitifully. Your hips canted towards him desperately, trying to chase your high, but he only moved back.

"What, did you think I was going to let you cum on my face?" He laughed mockingly, digging his claws into your ass. "After what you did today? Not a chance."

He pressed you further into the desk, leaning down to whisper in your ear. "Nah, a bitch like you needs to be taught a lesson."

Your mouth fell open as he pushed into you in one smooth motion, the ridges of his cock stretching you out painfully as he settled in deep.

"You're going to learn what happens when you misbehave," he punctuated his sentence with a hard thrust, making you choke. "You should be happy I have so much patience, or I would have fucked you right there on the conference table in front of everyone."

The mental image of him fucking you shamelessly in public made you moan, your hips wiggling further onto his cock. He growled, hands sliding up to hold your wrists down.

And then he started pounding into you. And you screamed.

"What's wrong? That pretty little mouth got nothing to say now?" He panted, gritting his teeth as he closed his eyes. "Where did all of that fight go, hm?"

"F-Fu—ahn—you!"

"Sweetheart, I'm balls deep inside of you right now," he rolled his hips to prove his statement.  "Try again."

"V-Vox, please!" You sobbed, cheek pressing into the surface of the desk.

"Tell me what you need, babygirl," he grinned.

"I-I want to cum," you hiccuped, vision blurring from pleasure.

"Aw, do you? I don't know about that," his grin widened, claws tightening on your wrists. "Do you really deserve it?"

"Please sir," you begged, turning around to look at him tearfully. "Please let me cum on your cock."

His grin faltered at the pleading look in your eyes, his screen tinting red as his teeth clenched. "Fucking brat," he gritted out, before his pace sped up, a clawed hand reaching down to rub tight circles over your clit.

Your mouth fell open in a silent moan as your eyes crossed, his dick splitting you open just like he promised. The coil in your stomach built up once more, stretching tighter and tighter until it finally snapped, your vision going white as you shook uncontrollably.

"Vox!" You cried, waves of pleasure cresting in your stomach, intensified by the fact that he was still harshly pounding into you.

Vox's breath hitched at the feeling of your walls tightening around him, screen glitching in euphoria. His thrusts lost their steady rhythm, instead hammering into you erratically as he chased his own orgasm.

Vox's claws dug gouges into the desk as he groaned your name, hips stuttering as he spilled deep inside of you. You shivered weakly at the feeling of his thick, warm cum filling you up.

When he'd finally spent everything he had, Vox pulled out of you gently, making you both gasp at the feeling. You heard the sound of a nearby drawer opening, before a wad of Kleenex gently wiped you dry. When both of you were adequately cleaned, warm arms wrapped around you, pulling you against a comforting chest. He sat you both down in the office chair, pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.

"So? Mister Vox," you glanced up at him teasingly. "How was that?"

"Pretty fucking hot, babe," he laughed, squeezing you tightly. "Seriously, great idea. But I'm picking the next one."

"Yeah, yeah," you snuggled deeper into his chest, yawning tiredly. "Do you want to watch a movie when we get back home? I saw this really cool thriller trailer yesterday and I think you'll like it."

Vox smiled gently at you, closing his eyes as he pulled you closer. "Sure doll, anything you want."

[yourinspirationalspeaker]

Advantages of Booking A Female Keynote Speaker

Keynote speakers play a crucial role to make the event successful. Packed with professional and real-life experience, the keynote speakers will make the event impactful and unforgettable. Though with the emphasis today on providing a diverse lineup for your meeting or event, you may want to hire one of the best female keynote speakers in USA, without a top female speaker, your event won’t meet the objectives. 

A keynote speaker lays the groundwork for outstanding business conferences, conventions, trade shows, and summits while providing a host of advantages. A top keynote speaker is an industry expert, a thought leader, and, most importantly, a skilled public speaker who gives audiences insight into their area of expertise. 

Since, a keynote speaker can bring authenticity to the event, here are just a few of the unparalleled benefits from hiring these keynote speakers: 

Excellent expertise 

According to the definition of a keynote speaker, these business leaders are local authorities on a certain subject or field of study. You’ll want to hire a keynote speaker who is credible and engaging, drawing on years of expertise at the top of their field. Their presentations take listeners to the cutting edge of their respective fields and offer knowledge pertinent to the conference's themes. 

Make sure the speaker you choose is an authority in their industry who is relatable to the deep intricacies of your event's theme and your attendees’ experiences. One of the numerous advantages of keynote speeches is their concentration on a single subject that is examined via the expertise, wisdom, and passion of the speaker. Regardless of the event's theme, a keynote speaker can offer an unmatched experience with tailored content.  

Inspiring Through Experience

Storytellers, Industry leaders and role models, keynote speakers are all three. Their tales cover important concepts for people from many walks of life, like overcoming adversity and maximizing success. A keynote speaker who can draw your audience into their story will engage their audience and present a compelling argument for change, creating a transformative experience. 

A strong keynote motivational speaker will motivate audiences to value their abilities and foster a confident "can do" attitude. When booked for events, they are a potent motivator for company leaders looking to inspire their staff or for conference planners looking to make an impression on participants. A presentation by one of our experts on resilience, change, or leadership will leave your audience with lasting memories because they encourage a more optimistic outlook. 

Embrace Your Objectives

Your message should be the capstone to a collection of advice, tales, and stories that set the overall tone of the speech and reinforce the central message of the occasion. A keynote speaker will enhance the event's goals by clearly and authoritatively delivering your message while drawing on their extensive industry experience. 

Consider that the focus of your event is, say, resilience in change. Your keynote speaker will not only discuss the tactics to be more resilient, but also the advantages of identifying opportunities for growth in the workplace when your workforce utilizes these tactics. They will be well-versed in the subject and capable of conveying the concept of your event with authority and vulnerability. 

Add Credibility 

The best female keynote speakers in the USA are the ones to add credibility to the event. Their knowledge, experience, and insights into the specific topic add credibility to your meeting. In this way, it will be easy to make the event successful. 

Elizabeth McCormick is one of the most popular keynote speakers in the USA. She had a successful career as a decorated Black Hawk Helicopter pilot for the US Army. With more than 13 years of experience speaking for thousands of events around the world, she is admired as one of TOP 30 most influential motivational speakers in the WORLD. Hiring her as a motivational speaker will impact the engagement and interaction of your audience and propel them to new heights!

[jeonsweetpea]

The Moon Knows Our Secrets (2) - Final

Exes to Lovers!AU | Hybrid!Jungkook x Hybrid!OC | Soulmate!AU 

genre: angst, smut, exes to lovers, vampire/werewolf hybrid (emphasis on werewolf), soulmates, forced proximity

rating: explicit

description: He doesn’t remember loving you. How could he, when you’re the one who erased his memories? You run into him a year later at a wedding. The year after that he’s reported missing and you go off to find him. Then you wonder: did he ever forget you?

word count: 17.7k

warnings (SPOILERS!!!): tension, resentment, fight scenes (nothing too graphic), Boxer!JK, injuries, blood, spying, drama with exes, arguing, underground cage fighting with ill intentions, OC and JK wrestle for control when he goes into his rut, a magic spell gone wrong, biting, JK and OC's POVs are included, HAPPY ENDING

smut warnings (tread carefully): masturbation (male), JK later goes into his RUT, kissing, unprotected sex, thigh job, oral sex (male and female receiving), scratching, rough sex, face-fucking, standing sex, knotting, creampies, dirty talk, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, hickies, nipple play, tummy bulge, lots of cum, marking, doggystyle, slight breeding kink (no pregnancy), slight dumbification, pain kink, brief mentions of anal, chains, hand jobs

a/n: This is an epilogue for my series Moonstruck (inspired by TVD), but it can be read as a STAND-ALONE! You do not have to read Moonstruck (but it will be more satisfying if you have 😉). This is the most smut I've written in a while and I tried out a new writing style too. I hope you enjoy it! Reblogs and asks always make my day, thank you! Or if you prefer AO3, I post there too.

| Part 1 | Part 2

Six Months Later…

Another unknown number. You stare at your phone on the motel bed like the device is an uninvited guest as you step out of the bathroom, scrunching a towel around your damp hair. The clock on the wall reads midnight. 

Maybe it’s a client?

The call disappears before you can answer it, reverting to the lock screen—the wedding group picture from last year. You had cropped it where it showcases only you and Jungkook. It’s a tad pixelated from being zoomed in so much, but the same deer-in-the-headlights expression pokes through on both of your faces. He was holding you in a dip position because you had almost fallen. The memory makes you smile every time, and you need a little joy in this dreary room. 

You sit on the bed and the phone rings again, as if on cue. The towel is cast aside as you answer it, tapping the button for speaker mode. 

“Hello?”

“Is this Miss [Y/N]?”

Even your alarm clock can’t get you out of bed this fast. You’re up on your feet, placing the phone against your ear as your heart rate spikes. There’s no way. That deep, smooth voice was unmistakable, especially when it used to whisper the filthiest things in your ear. “Y-Yes, this is her. Who is this?”

As if you don’t already know. “I’m Officer Kim Taehyung, Headmaster Kim gave me your number.”

What’s the latest phone model in store? Because you’re seconds away from shattering the current one in your hands. Or maybe you should redirect your anger around Namjoon’s neck instead. You kept your words steady as you said, “Oh, I see. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’m so sorry to call you at this hour, but I’m worried about a… a friend of mine,” he says. His hesitation on the “friend” label piques your interest. “I haven’t been able to reach him in a couple of weeks. I’m worried he’s gone missing.”

Wait. He’s an officer now? 

“If an officer such as yourself hasn’t been able to find him, that is worrisome. I’m assuming your friend is supernatural. Because that’s kind of all I do…”

“Yes, of course. He’s a hybrid.”

Your heart is lodged in your throat, unable to force the things you want to scream out. You had to take a deep breath before asking in a low voice, depicting how serious this is, “He’s a what?”

“A hybrid. Do you… know him?”

Do I know him… what a stupid question. You roll your eyes as if he could see you through the phone. “Text me everything you have on him. I’ll find him.”

“How?”

“Are you questioning my skills? I said I’ll find him.”

You hang up after that and collapse flat on your back, the mattress squeaking from your weight. You shouldn’t be so harsh on him; the poor man wasn’t up to date with all that’s happened. It’s not like he would know your history with Jungkook. Or you, for that matter. You made sure of that.

A buzz from your phone snaps you from your thoughts.

KTH: His name is Jeon Jungkook. His last known location was his apartment up north. I’ll send you the address and a picture.

He’s a man of his word, as the next text contains a map with the location marked by a round red pushpin. As much as you want to cremate Namjoon, Taehyung has given you the first lead you’ve had in months. If anything happened to Jungkook, you’d never forgive yourself. 

*Bzz*

Well, that’s new. It’s a picture of Jungkook under a white duvet, his arm bent, his head propped on his hand. Most of his body was covered, but the amount of skin showing at the junction between his neck and shoulder lets you know he is naked. Or at most, shirtless. Both are equally hot options if you have anything to say about it. 

His lips are pressed together into a coy smile, but his eyes are screaming “fuck me.” Like a personal challenge. 

KTH: Oops. I didn’t mean to send that picture.

You: It’s fine. I got the jist of what he looks like.

Why he has such a suggestive photo of Jungkook in the first place was concerning, but not enough for you to press further. 

Jungkook’s Point of View

My guard is up as my opponent swings his fists. His moves have zero technique, relying solely on blind rage as he tries to knock me out. Too bad I was quicker than him, playing the defensive first while I decided the best way to secure my victory. 

As we shuffle around the caged ring, the burly man in front of me grows impatient, like a bull taunted by a red cape. The more he charged, the more I dodged. He hasn’t gotten a single hit in, which only spurs the crowd to cheer louder for me. 

My heart is battering around in my rib cage, excited from the adrenaline rush. Having the spotlight on me, adoring fans, and exerting my muscles makes me feel alive. I don’t focus on anything else. I can’t. If I want to win, I transform whatever turmoil brews inside me into determination.

The rules are simple: no weapons, no biting, only fists and feet. Classic brawl style. We may be wolves, but there are boundaries, or our pride would cause a full-on slaughter.

The guy in front of me is drenched in sweat, and I see how his movements slowed—he was getting tired. It was time for me to go on the offensive.

I launch a kick, aiming for his right side. He caught it without even blinking, earning a choral gasp from the audience. They assume I’m in a bind, but I focus all my strength on my other leg and smack the dude across the face at lightning speed. He fell with a resounding thud, but I don’t wait for him to regain balance. 

I hit him with all I got—jab, cross, jab, cross. Right hook, left hook. He cowered in the corner like a bitch and I knee him in the gut. It was like watching a boulder topple over, his pride smashed into smithereens. Throwing my arms up, I circle the cage to pump up morale. The crowd bangs their fists against the enclosure as I roar. The referee begins the countdown from ten. 

Another victory added to my streak. Maybe I’ll treat myself and get laid tonight. I can smell the eager ones in the room and when I first got here, I always turned them down to be modest. Fuck that. I’m finally going to do it. 

I scan the room for potential suitors when my eyes land on her. It was like tunnel vision where everyone else was blacked out and she was the light at the end. I’m nothing but a moth to her flame, so gobsmacked that I rub my eyes to ensure I wasn’t seeing things. 

When I come to, she’s gone. There’s no way. 

I worked so hard to get over her. Is my brain so fucked that it’s starting to make me hallucinate? It seems years of therapy did absolutely nothing. Thanks, Jin.

Next thing I know the big guy recovers and tackles me to the ground. He got a good hit in; I tasted blood. There was no time to dwell on a figment of my imagination. My thirst for victory shouldn’t be underestimated as I swing my fist square in his jaw. I wasn’t going down that easy. 

Yikes. That’s a doozy.

I’ve been examining my face for five minutes now, hating how he split my lip open. Oh well. It’ll heal soon enough and I sent him home with far worse. 

That was the last fight of the night, so I had the locker room all to myself. The staff went home after sending the customers on their way. I go to my locker, type in the combination, and pull out a spare change of clothes and a towel. 

I head to the shower, placing my things on the bench. I undress, the first thing being my tank top, which had splotches of blood stained on the white fabric. Most of it wasn’t mine anyway, thankfully. I remove my shorts, discarding them in the same pile as my top. 

I enter the shower and close the curtain, turning the water onto the hottest setting. Once it hits my skin, I throw my head back and feel my muscles release its tension as I bask in the warmth. I tilt my head forward to get my hair damp when thoughts of her creep into my mind. 

It felt real. She looked real. I remembered everything about her appearance from head to toe even if I only saw her briefly. 

Her hair was dyed now to a color that suited her features. She had minimal makeup on that further enhanced her natural beauty. Her body was adorned in black skinny jeans where the seams were in front, matching her black combat boots and leather jacket. Underneath was a short-sleeved v-neck, her cleavage prominent and so inviting. Ugh. I shouldn’t be thinking about her in such a way, but where was I supposed to look? Her push-up bra was doing god’s work. 

Man, I’m so pathetic. I shouldn’t lust over her. She left me not once, but twice. What’s worse is she doesn’t know I remember everything. Maybe I shouldn’t have kept vervain on me that day. Would my life have turned out better? 

I dispense some body wash into my hands, lathering it between my palms before rubbing my torso. My hands trail down to my groin area, and I thoroughly clean it because sweaty balls are such a turn-off. But then I wrap my hand around the base of my cock, stroking it slowly. 

It looks like I’m washing it, but I already know what’s coming next. Memories of her are like shards of glass I can’t remove, embedded so deep that it scars. I reminisce about our past. How it felt to touch her, kiss her, love her. Her sweet moans, her soft breasts, her addictive scent. I’m palming myself and shuddering. Unlike her, my hands are calloused, but I pretend I have her soft touch.

I close my eyes and fantasize. I’d tear her clothes off with my bare teeth, mark all over her chest with my lips, turn her around, and take her. Indulge in my primitive urges and teach her a lesson. God, I wanted to fuck someone tonight, anyone, but my mind defaults to her. 

The soap makes it easy to glide my hand up and down my cock. I’m going much faster now, my breaths more ragged. No one’s here anyway. So I moan. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I just need to come and get this out of my system. 

I’m about to finish when there’s a gasp outside my stall. My entire body stills and I don’t take a moment to ask “Who’s there?” like the stupid idiots you see in horror movies. I think about what to do next and then commit. 

After turning off the water, I pull the curtain back and step out. I glance to my left to see the shower stall at the end has its curtain closed. It wasn’t like that before. 

I put on my boxers because I sure as hell wasn’t going to face this intruder naked. I plan to charge in there and drag him out without saying a word. Other than the sound of my footsteps, it’s eerily quiet. I reach my hand out, but as soon as I’m about to grab the curtain, the shower turns on. 

I hesitate, wondering if I’m about to be an asshole who’s about to expose an innocent soul out in the open. Before I built my reputation, I was jumped for being the new guy multiple times. That stopped after the third guy went home with three broken ribs though, but I can never be too careful. Some people were sore losers.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Great. I’m not only stupid but polite. I’m sure the person behind the curtain will slit my throat any moment, so I better act fast. I grab the curtain and attempt to pull it, but it’s stuck. 

Or rather, someone is holding it still. I yank harder this time, but they refuse to budge. I use both hands, gripping it extra tight, and tug with all my might until the sound of torn fabric echoes in the room, revealing the culprit.

The person I thought I healed from, the one I once thought I would heal with, is standing right before me, her eyes as wide as mine. I can’t think straight, so my body moves without permission as I charge forward, pinning her to the wall face first. I have her arms pinned behind her back, catching my breath when I realized what I had done. 

I don’t want her to look at me. Because then I’d have to accept the fact that she’s real. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Your Point of View

Where do you start? Do you tell him you tracked him down to the countryside and climbed down a creepy cellar door behind a barn only to find out he was an underground cage fighter? Or explain how you followed him to the locker rooms hoping to get a word with him until you tripped on your shoelaces? 

It’s difficult to decide when he’s got your arms twisted behind your back. They were getting sore. 

“I–I heard you were missing,” you say, wary of your next choice of words. “Can you please let me go?”

You attempt to move, but he holds your wrists with one hand while using the other one to render your head immobile. He uses enough force to press your cheek against the cold tile.

“I didn’t say you could move,” he warned, his voice laced with venom. “Congratulations, you found me. I’m no longer missing.”

“And you’re a cage fighter?”

“What’s it to you?”

“You’re cheating. This place is only for werewolves and you’re a—”

He flips you around so quickly you almost get whiplash, your back pinned to the wall while he covers your mouth. He has a murderous glare, his jaw clenches, and the vein near his temple bulges out. “Be quiet. You never know who’s listening.”

Your eyes drink him in, ogling him unashamed because his beauty should have been illegal. His hair was damp, but you can tell it’s cut short now. He didn’t have any piercings in, his natural beauty was enough to make anyone fall to their knees—which is exactly what you wanted to do for him. But you don’t make a sound. 

You couldn’t help but notice the glorious sight of his inked sleeve. When did he get that many tattoos? You bet there was a story to each one, but before you can dwell on it, Jungkook shifts his hand from your mouth to your eyes. 

There’s a sense of deja vu from his actions. The last time he covered your eyes was to prevent you from compelling him two years ago. Following through with such a heartbreaking decision was difficult, but you believed it was for the best.

As for now? You’re not sure. 

“So you stalk me because you thought I was missing, follow me into the showers, and now you’re ogling me like a pervert?”

He got you there. “I… I didn’t mean to…”

“If the roles were reversed, I’d look like some sick freak. You invaded my privacy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be. Let me ask you something, and I expect you to be honest: Were you listening to me earlier?” He saw you tuck your lower lip under your teeth like you wanted to seal the words shut. “Answer me. And don’t play dumb.”

“Yes,” you say, meek and pathetic. “I heard you.”

You can’t see him, but his eyes are crazed like he doesn’t know how to act around you. “And did you like what you heard?” He closes the gap between your bodies, his bare chest barely brushing against yours. His lips are ghosting across your own as he continues. “You like hearing me get off like some sick freak? Is that what you are? A fucking pervert?”

“N-No…” You don’t sound convincing in the slightest. 

His hot breath fans across your face. “I didn’t even get to finish.”

You gulp. “I… I could help you finish…”

Before your hand has a chance to sneak over to his lower region, he snatches it. “You aren’t allowed to touch me.”

“Technically, you touched me first.”

“Bratty now, are we? Don’t be flattered. I’d rather touch myself.” He releases your wrist, but his other hand is in the same spot, obstructing your sight. “I’m going to jerk off and you’re going to stand there until I’m finished.”

“What?”

“You heard me. And you’re going to keep hearing me until I’m satisfied. Understand?”

The constant steam from the shower was nearing the point of suffocation, but his words were far deadlier. “Okay.”

“Hands behind your back. I don’t want you tempted. Perverts like you can’t be trusted.”

You have to scold yourself for igniting a fire in the pit of your stomach from his slander, but you obey. Though you can’t see him, you hear the soft smacking sounds of him jerking his cock, surprised at how quickly he was to start.

If you had your sight, you’d be able to see how he is staring at your lips, wishing more than anything he could kiss you. How his eyes trail down to your cleavage and how the droplets of water made them look more enticing. His mind is racing a mile a minute through all his fantasies of how he’d take you, punish you, torment you until you were begging to come. As much as he does want to fuck you, you’re so damn gorgeous that admiring you was enough. 

His moans sound like soft sobs the closer he approaches his climax, his hand speeding up. It’s erotic, whiny, and sexy when he’s so desperate. He’s grunting through gritted teeth, panting like he’s running out of breath. You wonder if he makes the same noises when he’s working out. 

Fuck, you’d give anything to see him now. But his intentions were clear. You were to be still until he was finished. 

“Does this turn you on?” he asks, his voice shaky. He lays his chin on your shoulder, lips pressed against the shell of your ear. “I’m close.”

He lets out a choked gasp, whispering “fuck, fuck, fuck” as he pumps himself as fast as he can, reaching his high and submitting to the pleasure. It’s unbelievably erotic and he comes in his hand, catching the spurts of cum. He pulls back and stares at your lips again.

“Open.” Your mouth obeys willingly and he shoves two of his cum-soaked fingers inside. You close your lips around them, sucking them clean and savoring his taste. It’s bitter and slightly salty, but you welcome it. “Good girl.”

The praise brings a grin to your face. He rinses his hand under the water, turns it off, and finally releases his hold on you. You see the large expanse of his back as he walks away, almost drooling at his size. He slips on a loose black T-shirt, sweatpants, and slides. 

He looks over his shoulder. “Do you need clothes?” 

The question makes your heart swell. “I’m good.” 

Jungkook hears you mutter words similar to Latin. He turns around to see your necklace glow when you rub it between your thumb and forefinger. Your clothes dry in an instant, and he chuckles. “When did you learn magic?”

“I’ve had some free time.”

He peers down to your feet, letting out a heavy sigh as he walks over. Getting down on one knee, he ties your shoelace and you can’t help but melt. 

“I hope you have some free time now,” he says, lifting his head to meet your gaze. “I’m not done with you yet. We need to talk.”

It’s past 3 AM. The air is cool and crisp, carrying a faint scent of hay. Stars are twinkling in the clear night sky while the moon casts a silvery glow, illuminating silhouettes of barns in the distance. It’s quiet since folks are deep in their slumber, so walks home are usually serene. 

“Jungkook, wait up!”

Today’s an exception. “Hurry up, slowpoke.”

You jog to catch up to his pace on the dirt road. He rolls his eyes but slows his steps, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Didn’t you say we needed to talk?”

He stops abruptly, and you almost bump into his mountainous form. “Okay. Talk. Why are you here? You made it clear the last time we met that you couldn’t stay.”

You fumble with your words, as your brain isn’t quite as speedy as your lips. “Well I… I wasn’t in my right mind then.”

“Did I hurt you?” Your expression softens when you see the concern in his features, those brown doe eyes so big and round that you can see your reflection in them. Had he spent all this time fearing the worst?

“No… not in the slightest. I left because I was embarrassed.”

“I don’t believe you. You looked at me like…” He closes his eyes as if the next words would pain him. “Like I was a mistake.”

“No!” you exclaim, shaking your head. “You are anything but a mistake.”

“Then why do I feel like you’re hiding something?” He invades your space, his large frame towering over yours. “Why are you really here, [Y/N]?”

This is your chance to tell him the truth. With one command, you can make him remember loving you and all the shared memories that came with it. You’re ready to love him the way he deserves, but the thing is… you’re not sure you deserve him. Consequences were in order and pain was inevitable. He’ll hate you. He’ll feel betrayed.

Panic takes charge, forming an excuse for you. “I told you… someone told me you went missing. I was worried.”

He raises an eyebrow, prodding the inside of his cheek with his tongue like your answer was unsatisfactory. “Oh yeah? Who’s that?”

“Kim Taehyung.”

Jungkook drops his arms to his side. “Wow. That son of a…” He clasps a hand to his forehead, pacing back and forth in utter disbelief. “Guess I have two stalkers.”

“What exactly is Taehyung’s relationship to you?”

He stops and faces you, looking like you had offended him. “There is no relationship. There will never be a relationship, but he doesn’t seem to get that! God!”

You place your hands on your hips. “I don’t understand.”

He decides against elaborating but quickly changes his mind after seeing you use Taehyung to deflect.

“He’s an old roommate. We used to fuck. Okay?” Time seems to stop between you two but for an entirely different reason. You’re abhorred, unable to comprehend the fact your ex fucked your other ex. This must be the universe’s punishment for messing with their memories. Because the Jungkook you know would have never sought him out after everything Taehyung put you through.

You fucked my ex?! The dude who tried to kill you?! The guy who backstabbed us and harmed us?! Are you insane?!

You have to bite your tongue before the house of cards collapses. 

“I was experiencing my first rut. It was overwhelming. Not like I could fuck a human without hurting them. Permanently,” he adds, watching how your face morphs into one lost in thought. “What’s up?” 

You snap out of it. “Oh. Nothing. Before Taehyung, I went west because there were rumors of the ‘Cervix Splitter’ and thought…”

He stares at you, mouth agape as he points to himself. “You thought that was me?!”

“I don’t know!” you say, holding your hands out with your palms up. “I think they might have a serial killer loose… damn.”

“Can we please stick to the subject?” he asks, exasperation coating every word. You nod and gesture for him to continue. “Anyway, he and I ran into each other and one thing led to another. We were both hybrids with needs. It was a good arrangement, but then he got obsessive. Wanted a relationship. I said no.”

You give him a look of sympathy as you recall how Taehyung reacted when you broke up with him. Even though you erased your existence from his mind, it seems his obsessive tendencies lingered. Some things never change. “He didn’t like that very much, did he?”

“What do you think? I ran away, so he’d leave me alone. It worked for the past few months until you showed up.” He narrows his eyes into slits. “Did you tell him I was here?”

“No. He keeps texting me though.”

He points an accusatory finger at you. “You’re not going to tell him anything. Got it?”

“I won’t. But if you keep that tone up, I might reconsider,” you warn.

“And how would that benefit you? Do you know Taehyung?”

Unfortunately. “It’s my job to help those in need in the supernatural community.”

“What are you, the Scooby Doo gang?” He steps back to laugh. “Is this what you’ve been up to since you’ve left?”

“Don’t make fun of me,” you scold. “Helping is what I do. I’m good at it. It clears my mind.”

“Okay. Then you can ‘help’ yourself out of here. Tell Taehyung you didn’t find me while I go home and rest. I’m exhausted.”

He dashes off, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. You follow at once and encounter a quaint cottage surrounded by forestry. Jungkook waits at the front door, folding his arms across his chest.

“Do you need something else?” he asks. You swear you can see the cogs turning in his mind, unable to figure out what’s your angle.

“Are you going to continue fighting?” 

He shrugs. “Yeah. It’s a great stress reliever. Keeps me from…” His eyes flit to your lips for a brief second. “... overthinking. Plus I get great perks. Respect. Fans. Money.”

“You don’t need money.”

“I know, but it’s a power trip having it. Besides, people bet on me. I’d hate to let my loyal benefactors down.”

You mirror his stance, folding your arms as displeasure passes your face. “You’re a hybrid. It’s a given you’ll win every fight and that’s not fair to their pack.”

“Only if they find out.” You’re about to counteract his argument, but he beats you to it. “Look. Boxing’s my thing. I enjoy the rush it gives me. Exerting my muscles, feeling that sweet burn, and fighting until my body gives out—it’s addicting. I feel alive.”

His eyes shimmer with every word he speaks like he was putting on a speech to inspire high school kids. It only brings you more dread when there’s a confession on the tip of your tongue. 

“Well… do you have to box here?”

“I like it here. Now if you don’t mind…”

He pulls out his keys, turns around, and inserts them into the lock. You nibble on your thumbnail, scrambling to come up with another excuse. Once he enters, you use your enhanced speed and invite yourself in. 

“Can I stay?” you ask, quick to shut the door. He chuckles, impressed by your tenacity.

“What is with you? Don’t you have a Cervix Splitter to catch? Please leave.”

The words bubble up in your throat, forcefully coming to the surface like word vomit. “You can’t stay here!”

The outburst garners his undivided attention as he stares at you dumbfounded like there is Wii music playing in the background. “Why?”

“There’s some people who know you’re a hybrid…” you reveal, your voice reduced to a mere squeak.

“What did you say?” he asks through gritted teeth. You don’t reply and he repeats himself, this time with a lower volume, which spooks you more than if he was shouting. “What did you do?”

“When I came here to find you, I asked if anyone saw you. I showed them a picture and told them you’re a hybrid. Thought it’d make it faster…” You let out a small laugh. “I was kinda right…”

Jungkook looks like he’s at a crossroads of whether to hate you or murder you. Or both. “Why would you expose me like that?”

“I didn’t know it was a secret.” He lifts his fist at an angle toward the door, and you wait for him to slam it down in anger. However, he sighs and lowers his hand slowly, splaying his fingers against the wood. You blink twice, choosing your next words carefully. “I don’t understand. Why would you hide the fact you’re a hybrid?”

He holds onto the sides of his head like he is about to rip his hair out. “Oh, I don’t know,” Sarcasm is dripping in every word. “Did you forget how your grandparents tried to kill us when they discovered your existence?”

What did he say?

His hands drop down by his side as do yours. Realization dawns upon you two, the world coming to a screeching halt. Shock renders you immobile as the gears in your head try to turn, but they’re overwhelmed by the million questions plaguing your mind. He shouldn’t know that. He shouldn’t remember that. Unless… he never forgot.

“You remember me… You remember everything,” you say in a breathy tone. You should’ve seen it coming, especially with how he acted at the wedding. “How do you—“

“I had vervain on me,” he confesses without the slightest remorse. 

You take a small step back, almost stumbling. “So this whole time… you never forgot me? You knew what I did and didn’t say anything? You slept with Taehyung?!”

“That’s what you got from this? That’s what you choose to focus on?” His question pins you for a fool. 

“Because that’s the stupidest thing you could’ve done! I erased his memories so he could start fresh. Same with you!”

“What difference does it make? I asked, no, I begged you not to erase my memories and you did it anyway.”

You steel yourself to remain calm. “Because I didn’t want you burdened by me anymore. I thought I was doing what was best for you.”

He tilts his head, his eye slightly twitching as he raises a finger like he is about to lecture you. “Stop. Stop saying it was best for me when the reality was, you were only thinking about yourself.” He takes a sharp inhale. “You wanna know why I got with Tae? Because I was a mess when you left. Devastated. Broken people look for broken people, [Y/N].”

You threw your head back. “Oh my god... This is precisely why I wanted you to forget.”

He almost snarls. “You don’t get it, do you? You always do this. You make decisions without my consent. I never asked to be a hybrid, I never asked for any of this shit.”

You place a hand on your chest, offended. “I’m sorry, you’re upset I turned you to save your life?”

“You turning me was what started this whole mess,” he spits out, revulsion apparent. “I was sired to you, I fell in love with you, I went through hell and back only for it to not matter in the end. You left me. I could forgive you the first time, but not for the second.”

There aren’t any words you can say to combat this. 

“I remember everything about you. About us,” he says, the look in his eyes resembling a kicked puppy. “I remember what you said the day you tried to compel me.”

“Don’t,” you plead. He throws your words back at you in a rather snarky manner.

“‘When I’m ready, I’ll come to you and you can decide then if you’ll have me.,” he quotes. “I used to think I’d be okay waiting for you to come around… but that was incredibly stupid. You came back only to abandon me again and for what? To go around playing vigilante?”

“Jungkook…”

“No, I’m not done.” He starts to pace back and forth. “Did you ever stop to think about what I wanted? Of course not. Because in the end, it’s all about you. You should’ve erased everything. What was the point of only erasing my love for you, huh?”

“What do you want me to say?” you ask, fighting back tears.

“I want you to tell me the truth. You erased Taehyung’s memories of you because he was a psychopath but spared me the smallest glimpse. Why? Why not erase it all?”

“Because I love you!” you exclaim. He stops pacing, shooting you a skeptical glare. “And knowing that you still remembered me, even a tiny part of me, was comforting enough to help me move on. I needed space.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet? But I’m not your safety net, [Y/N].” He walks over to his front door and pulls it open. “Get out.”

You shake your head. “Jungkook, please.”

“Either you get out or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and force you out.”

The resentment he had must’ve grown exponentially over the years. If you push him further than you already had, he might snap. So you exit his house but go for one final attempt at whatever relationship you can salvage with him.

“Please let me stay. I can protect you from those cage fighters if they decide to get even.”

“No. You’ve done enough.”

“Jungkook—”

“Enough!” His voice carries, causing birds to flutter their wings and find solace in another tree further away. You watch as he towers over you again, but beneath his icy glare is a heartbroken man. “Since I first saw you, I have belonged to you completely.”

He tightens his fists, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath before saying the next part.

“I have always belonged to you. And for that, I suffered. I came here to escape, to heal, and it worked. I was at peace and you waltz in here, stirring up chaos in my life where it’s not welcomed.” His eyes never waver and you don’t dare look away. “And what’s funny is how you expect me to do what? Take you back?”

“I… I don’t know. I thought…”

“You thought wrong,” he finishes for you. “Do you think it’s easy seeing you? I’m angry, [Y/N]. You make me so mad I can’t even think straight.”

“Then yell at me! Don’t push me away.”

“I’m pushing you away because I know you. And I know what hurts you the most.” He caresses your face longingly, slowly, like it’d be the last time. His fingers ghost the surface of your skin, and you lean in, desperate for more. But he pulls back. “Either you choose me or you lose me. And it’s too late to choose me now. Goodbye [Y/N].”

“No,” you say like a stubborn child. “I don’t want to leave you. I’m afraid to lose you. Please.”

He clicks his tongue at you as he shakes his head. “I suggest you face your fears. It’s not like this is the first time.”

The last thing you see is the door being slammed in your face.

Jungkook’s Point of View

That was the worst sleep of my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how I left her. She deserved all my venomous words, but empathy made me regret everything. Why do we even need such an emotion when all it does is make us feel like shit?

It’s pitch black in my room. The low-pitched sound of the air conditioner is my only companion. I enjoy being alone, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely. I shouldn't get used to missing her, but I’m used to it again. I wish she were here.

I decide to get dressed and quickly leave the house. For once the angel and devil on my shoulder agree, pressing me to find her but for two different reasons. One says to forgive and forget, the other craves to deliver punishment and commit sins. 

I tell myself I’m going hunting instead. Rabbits and squirrels fall prey to my clutches and I feel a pang in my heart when I drink their blood, but I have to survive somehow. Before I knew it, it was dark outside and the moon looked lonely, almost like it was crying in the night sky. 

I couldn’t find her. I searched all day, but the countryside is vast, and I’m drenched in sweat. Checking the time on my watch, I see I’m late for my next fight. 

Shit. 

It’s fine. She’s an Original Hybrid and can take care of herself. 

Rushing back to the barn, I circle to find the angled cellar door. I pull the handle, descend downstairs, and run into one of the bouncers. Aside from cage fighting, the underground establishment is used for clubbing and drinking most days of the week. I hear the heavy bass from the music, feeling the ground shake from the vibrations. I greet the bouncer with a handshake, but he stares at me like I had pissed in his thermos. 

“Ms. Lim wants to see you,” he says, his voice gruff. He gestures his bald head towards the door that says “AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY” on the right, so I head there. There’s a narrow hallway and at the end of the corridor is her office. I slowly open the door. 

“Jungkook,” Her nasal voice already has a trace of annoyance as I poke my head in. She’s sitting behind her desk with two henchmen about twice my size, both dressed in suits with their hands clasped in front. “Come in please.”

I do what she says and she points to the chair in front, so I sit. “Hello, Ms. Lim. I know I’m late, I’m sorry. Can I have the next fight?”

Her mouth twitches. “No. We need to talk.”

She snaps her fingers and the two bodyguards stand on either side of me, each placing a firm hand on my shoulders. When I squirm, they hold me tighter as if cementing me still. I let out a nervous laugh, feigning innocence. “What’s going on?”

The middle-aged woman adjusts her thick-rimmed glasses, scoffing like I was being impolite in the presence of royalty. “I run a tight-knit business, Jungkook. My wolves… They follow me. They listen to me. Because I’m honest and upfront. I don’t dish out bullshit.”

She stands, placing her hands behind her back as she circles the front of her desk, closing the gap between us. 

“Wolves like to fight. It’s in our nature to have some aggression. Here you can release it in a healthy, controlled environment,” she says. “When you first arrived, I liked you right away. The sheer arrogance you had, the drive to win—you were a natural for the ring. People bet on you because you never let them down.” She leans against her desk, lowering her glasses onto the tip of her nose bridge to look at me. “You don’t want to let people down, right?”

The bait can’t be more obvious, but I indulge her anyway. “Of course not.”

My answer seems to placate her and she puts her finger under my chin, tilting my head up. “Then I need you to tell me the truth. What are you, Jungkook?”

“I’m a wolf. Just like you, ma’am.” Not like that was a complete lie. I am a wolf. Half.

She grips my chin harder, her pupils blown so wide that they overtook her irises. “Is that all?”

“Look, it’s clear you know something so why don’t you…” She whips out a pistol from underneath the slit in her long dress and I stare down the barrel without moving a muscle. 

“There’s no fear in your eyes. Probably because you know and I know that this crummy little thing won’t kill you.” She pulls the trigger, but the shot is empty. I try my best not to scowl as she puts it away. “One of my men ran into a strange girl yesterday. She was hysterical, almost aggressive in asking about you.”

“Make your point.”

“She told me you were a hybrid. Is that true?”

I lean back against the chair, my shoulders less tense now that the secret is out. “Yes. So what? I’m still part wolf.”

“You’re half-wolf,” she corrects. “I don’t give a damn about you being a hybrid. But I do care that you weren’t fully transparent with me. And people talk. Word gets around I’m letting a hybrid take all the winnings and my business is done.”

“No one has to know.”

“Oh darling… she blabbed all over town about you. I’m sure everyone already knows. But I have a deal for you if you want to stay.”

Judging from her toothy smile, the chances of this deal being more beneficial for her than me are high. “What deal?”

“Do you know how much money I can make if I put two hybrids against each other?” she asks, flashing a smirk. “Especially with a pretty little thing like her against someone like you. The crowd would go wild.”

I shake my head. “I’ll pass. She’s not into cage fighting and I don’t hit women.”

“Who says she’s not?” I don’t like her tone and the insinuation behind it. “Darling, who do you think is taking your place right now?”

“What?”

“[Y/N] is fighting her heart out at this very moment. The wolves adore her. Probably because I said whoever beats her gets to breed her.”

This time I force myself to stand, knocking out both men when they attempt to grab me again with a one-two combo. They collapse with a resounding thud, and I head straight for Ms. Lim. I’m holding her dress collar and lifting her in the air, but she remains unphased.

“Where is she?”

“I see she’s important to you.”

“Where is she?!” I shout, not caring that I spit on her. 

“She turned you, right? How’d she do it? Did you two have sex?”

“I’m not asking you again,” I warn. She wraps her hand around my wrist, her irises shifting to a muted gold as she pries my hold off her, dislocating my hand. I curse in pain, fully prepared to retaliate, but she snaps her fingers three times. 

I hear footsteps from behind me and the door opens with a loud slam. Looking over my shoulder, I see about fifty men in black suits who are bigger than me enter the room. They all bear matching stoic expressions, but their fists are up and ready as their pointed glares shoot in my direction. 

“There isn’t much information on hybrids and experimenting on an Original is too good of an opportunity to pass up. I’m sure my boys would love to breed her. Then business would be booming with hybrid fighters at my side!” Ms. Lim cries.

My blood is boiling and I swear I’m seeing red. I snap my wrist back into place without breaking eye contact and backhand her across the face. She falls to the floor, stunned, holding the side of her cheek. “I thought you said you don’t hit women!”

“My apologies. I meant beautiful women.”

Three men grab me—one at each arm and the last holding my waist. The others line up, each taking a jab at me. The first punch is aimed at my stomach. One breaks my nose. Another hits me square in the jaw. I see stars by the time Ms. Lim stands, holding her hand up for them to stop. 

“How dare you? Oh, I’m going to make sure your little girlfriend is knocked up. Poor thing has no clue what plans I have for her.”

I muster enough strength to spit at her, flicking droplets of blood onto her face. She shrieks in disgust and slaps me in return. I only laugh like a madman.

“Good luck… she’s infertile…” I say, trying to find my breath. “And my girl can take care of herself. She won’t lose.”

“It’s okay. I can still find plenty of uses for her. If my boys can’t breed her, they can still fuck her once they’re done with you. I bet she screams pretty,” Ms. Lim says.

“You’re lying!”

“Am I?” She snaps her fingers again, prompting the last man who punched me to step forward. He pulls out something gold from his pocket, dangling it in front of me like a carrot for a rabbit. My face falls when I recognize the double moon charms. “Mr. Ahn here is the first one that defeated [Y/N]. He’ll get to have her first.”

The douchebag has a devilish grin as he slips the necklace over my head. He pats my cheek twice before smacking it hard on the third. I bare my teeth, more than ready to kick his ass, but other men are holding me still.

“I’m going to check the status of our beautiful prize and see if she’s ready for Mr. Ahn,” Ms. Lim declares, exiting the room with the sleazy bastard. Right before she closes the door, she sticks her head in and adds, “Whoever gets that necklace from him gets to have her next.”

The door shuts and I’m shouting curses at her until my throat is hoarse. All sense of self-control goes out the window as I unleash my wrath, my anger blinding me as my fists take control. In cage fights, I’ve had to hold back. But now? I’m ready to demolish anyone who gets in my way.

Your Point of View

After Jungkook kicked you out, you roamed the area for a place to stay. With your abilities, you had endless options: an inn, a motel, a farmhouse, or even the forest if you prefer. Heartbroken, you planned to wolf out until a middle-aged woman found you on the side of the road. 

She drove beside you, parked her car, and rolled down her windows. Your first instinct was to walk away, but she mentioned Jungkook and how she was his boss. She told you how her place wasn’t too far away, offering a place for you to stay the night. 

Questions kept pouring out of you, but she wouldn’t answer until you agreed to her offer. Your guard was up the whole night despite the fact she was a werewolf too. She doted on you with tea and snickerdoodles, but you didn’t dare take a bite until after she did.

Though you were on edge most of the night, her aura was warm, like a grandmother’s love or what you could only imagine as such. Your grandparents tried to eradicate you for being a hybrid, believing that your existence was an abomination. It’s funny how Ms. Lim, someone not blood-related, treated you far better than they ever did.

She answered your questions about Jungkook, but you didn’t dare overshare about your relationship with him. She persuaded you to join her the next day at work, offering the gym and free training sessions with her best fighters. You weren’t sure at first, but then ultimately gave in.

The next day Ms. Lim gave you a tour of the underground cellar and you couldn’t believe how massive it was. Everyone you encountered greeted you like one of the family, and you got to learn new fighting techniques with her bodyguards. 

When it was nighttime, Ms. Lim suggested you fight for real. You worried it’d be unfair, but she assured you the opponents were more than willing. 

Your first opponent is a man who looks like the descendant of a Viking. His muscles are so large you can see the veins bulging underneath his skin. He gives you a crooked smile, which you would’ve found somewhat attractive if he hadn’t made a sexist comment the next second.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in the ring? Hasn’t no one swept you off your feet and wed you yet?” You make the first move and use his words against him, sweeping him off his feet with your leg. He falls flat on his back and laughs while the crowd cheers. “It’s a shame. You’d make a great mother.”

“I’ll pass,” you say, sounding extra snarky. 

“Come on. You know you can’t beat me.”

The man got back up only to be taken down again with a skillful spin kick, causing his back to slam against the cage. You smirk as his expression shifts to anger, and he tackles you to the opposite side like a mad bull. Grunts come from both sides as you use your elbow, jabbing the top of his head until he lets go. 

You jump high and hang from the top of the cage, using your strong thighs to hold his head hostage. His oxygen depletes as his face turns purple, clawing at your legs but you don’t let up. His hands fall to his sides before his body collapses. Only then do you let go and land in a cool pose, feeling like a superhero. 

The crowd goes wild and you jump up and down like a kid who scored the winning goal. “I did it!”

You see why Jungkook loved this place so much. It’s an indescribable feeling, a rush of exhilaration as glory consumes you. 

Once you see Ms. Lim and her main bodyguard, you step out of the ring and greet her. “Ms. Lim, did you see? I won!”

She wraps her arm around your shoulder, giving you a toothy grin. “I know. I told you you’d do well. Let me show you your prize.”

You gasp. “I get a prize?” 

She leads you through the sea of fans. “Of course. Everyone gets compensated.”

You enter a door that leads you to a narrow hallway. The lights were dim, but it was enough for you to see something horrific. From where you stand to the door at the end are unconscious bodies strewn across the floor. Some are slumped against the wall, others are flat on their back or stomachs, each carrying some deformity. There’s blood splattered on the floor, but it wasn’t gorey enough to be deemed a bloodbath (though the sight was still alarming).

“What the fuck happened?” you ask. Ms. Lim screams in shock when she steps in, covering her mouth as she stumbles back. If not for Mr. Ahn, she probably would’ve fallen.

The door at the end of the corridor opens and you hear ragged breathing. There you see Jungkook stagger out, barely able to hold himself up with one arm. He has cuts on his face and a black eye, so his vision is halved. His tank top is in shreds, the fabric hanging by a thread as it dangles from his bruised body. 

He regains part of his strength once he sees you. “[Y/N]?”

You rush over to catch him before he falls. “Jungkook, what happened?!”

He’s putting his entire weight on you, close to fainting. But one look at Ms. Lim and he’s fired up. “That bitch… I’m gonna kill her…”

Ms. Lim wastes no time, urging Mr. Ahn to run away with her while you’re left bamboozled. “Ms. Lim?”

“She’s going to pay… She’s going to…”

Jungkook can’t fight his body’s limits anymore. The last thing he sees is darkness.

Sunlight pours through the window, stirring Jungkook from his slumber. He slowly opens one eye, surprised to see snow-covered trees and clear skies outside. In a daze, he sits up, holding his side as a sharp pain shoots through his body. He’s quick to notice his upper body has been covered in gauze and bandages. 

Whoever did it was meticulous. His chest and shoulders are tightly bound in layers, protecting his battered torso. The bandages crisscrossed over his ribcage, some were wrapped around his biceps, with the gauze extending down to his forearms. Bloodstains seeped through while he was asleep, but they don’t warrant any concern for now.

Jungkook touches his face, finding the cut on his cheek and upper lip taken care of. His other eye is no longer swollen, allowing him to observe his surroundings. He sees he’s in a cozy room, the wood ceiling and floors making him believe he’s at a lodge. There’s a large window to his right as well as a nightstand. The lamp sitting atop casts a warm golden glow, and Jungkook turns it off by pulling the string. 

There’s a gentle knock on the door. “Jungkook? Are you awake?”

He lays back down, covering his body with the duvet and closing his eyes as if he had never woken up. The doorknob jostles as you enter the room, holding a cup of water. You see his state and tip-toe closer, setting the mug on the nightstand. 

Staring at people while they sleep is creepy, but Jungkook looks angelic. Even if his face was marred, it didn’t stunt his beauty. If anything, his injuries made him more beautiful, the bandages being proof of his protectiveness. What he was protecting, you don’t know. 

“When you wake up, we seriously have a lot to talk about,” you whisper, pulling a nearby stool to sit on. “I don’t know why you did what you did. Ms. Lim and her men were so nice to me. She let me stay at her place after you kicked me out.”

You stick your tongue at him like a brat but end up giggling at your immaturity. 

“You were right to kick me out though,” you say, sighing. “Even with the best intentions, I can’t make things right. I’m sorry. Trust me, no one is more frustrated with me than me. That’s why when Ms. Lim suggested for me to fight, I didn’t hesitate.”

You ball your fists. “But it was so fun. I won my fight like bam! Bam! Bam!” You punch the air at each onomatopoeia, and Jungkook has to refrain from laughing. Why were you so cute?

“I get why you do it now. I’ve always had to fight for survival. I didn’t think it could be… gratifying. Anyway, I support your cage-fighting career,” You purse your lips. “But I guess you don’t have one anymore, considering what you did back there. I’m honestly confused. Why did you hurt them? I chased after Ms. Lim and uh… well, she burned your house down.”

You wait a second as if he’d respond. “She told us to never come back with no explanation… I didn’t even get my prize for winning,” you huff. 

Jungkook grunted, almost like he didn’t like what he was hearing. He turns onto his side, so he’d be facing away from you and wraps himself in a blanket burrito. The spot where he once lay had something gold in it. You carefully pick it up and caress the double moon charms with your thumb.

“My necklace…”

You stare at the back of his head, the gears in your head turning as you try to put the puzzle pieces together. Upon closer inspection, you notice faint bloodstains on the back of the charms and some on the chain.

“Did one of those men have my necklace? You beat up thirty men for it?”

“It was around fifty, but who’s counting?”

Your breath hitches, wondering if you were hearing things. Jungkook slowly sits up, resting his back against the headboard and flashing a cheeky grin. Heat spreads to the apples of your cheeks. 

“Were you awake this whole time?”

“Maybe.” He gives you a quick once over. “Are you hurt? Did anyone touch you?”

“Hmm? I’m fine. I should be asking you that. You took a beating and I’m still confused as to why.”

He slumps against the headboard, sagging like a dramatic blob. “God, you’re dense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? My necklace is all bloody… was this the prize Ms. Lim intended to give me?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes so far back they might as well get stuck. “Ms. Lim’s prize wasn’t the necklace. It was you. You were her men’s prize after the fight. She planned to let them have their way with you.”

Your eyes fall to the ground, your heart heavier than an anchor in a bottomless sea. Jungkook sees how you clutch the necklace in your fist, wishing he hadn’t revealed the truth so bluntly. 

“Hey… I’m sorry,” he begins. “I didn’t mean to…”

“No. I was naive. After what happened with my grandmother, I thought Ms. Lim was different. Anyway,” you say, changing the subject. “That’s why you did what you did?”

“I thought she had you trapped somewhere. Or that without your necklace, you were at a disadvantage. She told me Mr. Ahn defeated you and I just went berserk at the thought of something happening to you.”

It’s hard not to see the love he has for you in those beautiful eyes of his. “I never fought Mr. Ahn, but I’m pretty sure I would’ve won. I’m freakin’ awesome in the ring.”

Jungkook chuckles. “I know. I never doubted your skills. She riled me up and I assumed the worst.”

“Well… Thank you for looking out for me. I’m glad to have my necklace back. I thought I lost it for good.”

“I thought I lost you.”

Time comes to a standstill. No more words are shared, yet so much is being said through simple eye contact, an unspoken language only the two of you understand. Your hearts are burning, aching with desire, but you don’t dare act on it. You don’t deserve him. At least, that’s what you tell yourself to maintain restraint. 

“Can I put it on you?” he asks, pointing to the piece of jewelry in your hand. 

“Oh! Yeah, sure.” A white glow emits from your fist and when you open your palm, Jungkook sees the necklace is spotless. You hand it to him and shift positions, so your back is towards him. He scoots closer, his legs now dangling off the bed. 

When he brushes your hair away, your body tenses up. You see the gold chain from above before it settles on your collarbone. Jungkook leans in, getting a better view of the clasp but struggles to attach it. Seconds tick by like hours, but you don’t mind how long he takes. His hot breath on the nape of your neck is distracting you anyway.

“Almost got it…” he mumbles. And thank goodness too because you didn’t realize you were holding your breath the entire time. Once he’s finished, he leans back but you turn your head to the side and almost end up kissing him.

“Oh sorry, I—” You move away, but he places his hand on the back of your neck, holding you in place. 

“Stay.”

Stay still? Stay with him? Whatever he meant, it sounded like a command, a challenge, a test. You’re entranced by how close he is, your nose about to touch his, and his lips—fuck. They’re drawing near, but he stops a centimeter away and smirks like a damn tease. You swear you’re on fire, the heat radiating off his body further exacerbating things. 

His eyes droop down, but it’s not to your lips. Rather, he takes his free hand and holds the double moon charms between his forefinger and thumb, sliding it until it’s positioned in the center. 

“There,” he says, still far too close. There’s a deep yearning in his eyes, a passion he longs to share with you, but he’s holding himself back. “Don’t go anywhere.”

You pout. “What, suddenly you’re okay with me around?”

“Seeing you drives me mad, but not seeing you makes me insane,” An aw almost slips out of you, but you nod instead. “I’m trying so hard to hate you…” he whispers.

You match his volume. “Why?”

“Because it’s easier than admitting the opposite.” He finally releases his hold and leans back, allowing you to regain a semblance of sanity. “So where are we exactly?”

You fiddle with your necklace and try not to dwell on his words. “I used a teleportation spell and it took us here.”

“Randomly?”

“No. I didn’t know what to do, so I cast a spell to take me to Professor Jin. He’s here with Namjoon. They’re on vacation.” 

All of a sudden Jungkook groans and he’s clutching his abdomen. “Ah fuck...”

You jump out of your seat to examine him closer. “What’s going on?”

Sweat forms on his upper lip, his body temperature rising steadily as if someone turned on the heater to its max. It’s an all too familiar feeling. He laughs at the horrid timing, but it exacerbates his pain.

“I’m going to need you to learn a new spell,” he says, panting so much you fear he’d pass out.

“Why?”

“Because I’m about to go into a rut,” he answers, glaring at you like you’ve made a grave mistake, “and I don’t have boxing to distract me anymore.”

“Do you want me to help—” 

“No,” You can’t help but feel offended, and undesired, but he adds, “I don’t want to take advantage of you. It’s not right.”

“Okay…” You rub your arm and like the keen observer he was, he tacks on another thing and you’re not sure if he’s trying to make you feel better or himself. 

“I don’t give consent because it’s out of my control. Our time together shouldn’t be influenced or pressured because of other circumstances.”

You almost laugh at the hilarity of that statement. “Isn’t that the whole basis of our relationship? Everything always comes with a condition. This is exactly why I left…”

Jungkook’s pained expression morphs into something worse—dismay. You go for damage control, wishing you could take those words back and shove them far into the depths of your mind where they couldn’t hurt anyone. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, full of regret, “I shouldn’t have said that. If you say no, I understand. It’s a no.”

“It’s fine. Not like you’re wrong. Can you go get Jin please?”

Jungkook’s Point Of View

I want to tear these bandages off. And then my skin. It’s too damn hot and the timer on my sanity is dwindling. The snow outside looks inviting and is the only blanket I want covering me. 

A knock on the door garners my attention and [Y/N] rushes in, carrying something silver between her fingers.

“Sorry for the wait, I got it!” Fuck, she smells incredible. There’s nothing on Earth that can compare to her delicate, sweet aroma. It’s my Kryptonite, my guilty pleasure. Once she draws near, I pin her to the bed, ignoring the soreness of the muscles I was supposed to be recuperating. “Jungkook?”

I snuggle into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent like some deranged pervert as I squeeze her hip. The closest description is like a honey-sweet fruit, ripe for picking. But fruit bruises easily when they fall into the wrong hands. And now she’s in mine.

She whimpers softly, and it only further fuels my arousal. “It shouldn’t be this easy yet your hold over me is… pathetic.”

I hover over her face and bring a hand up to squeeze her cheeks, forcing her lips to pucker. Cute. 

“Do you know what filthy things I want to do to you? I’ve been fantasizing for years about this moment,” I say, unable to contain my smirk. Her chest heaves against mine and the panic that flashes across her face is adorable. I loosen my grip a bit so she can reply. 

“Tell me then,” she breathes and I chuckle at how wobbly her voice sounds. 

“I wanna fuck you like I hate you. It’s not going to be that tender bullshit, I’m going to be rough. I’m going to use you and all your holes until you’re screaming and I’m the only one that occupies your thoughts, so you can see the hell you put me through when you left. I’m going to bring you to heaven only to drag you back down to Earth and make you sin harder.”

I can smell much more than fear coming from her silence. Her fingers are clutching what I can now see is a silver body chain. She’s fast, but I’m faster as I pin her wrist down before she can put it on me. Her hand is hanging over the edge of the bed and I grip her wrist, upping the pressure and twisting slightly until she groans in pain, dropping the chain. It falls with a soft clink and I give her an amused grin.

“Was that mediocre thing supposed to quell my urges?” I taunt.

“Ideally, yes,” she remarks, unable to hide her bratty attitude. “Let me put it on you.”

“No.”

She gives me a look like I’m a bad child about to be put on time-out. Maybe I want to be bad. “Jungkook.”

“Come on… you said it yourself. You want to help,” I use my thigh to part her legs. “I’m in desperate need of it.”

She scoots her body upwards to get away, but like a parasite, I latch on and follow, pressing my entire body weight on her. “Jungkook, no. You said no. This isn’t you.”

“Oh, but what if it is?” She stops squirming and my eyes widen like I’ve gone insane, glad to have her attention. “What if this dark, twisted, horny part of me is who I am? What if I want to ravage you and my rut is simply pushing me to finally not hold back on loving you?”

“You… love me?”

Somehow that question pulls me from the depths of lust for a split second. “I never stopped.”

There’s a silent period where we stare at each other. Sometimes I think we’d hold the world record for how long one can zone out, lost in a world of our own. But my needs resurface, clouding my mind with crazed lust. I’m corrupted by something I can’t control and no matter how hard I resist, she’ll be in the crossfire.

She must have noticed her small window of opportunity because she pushed me off with her inhumane strength. I bounce on the mattress when I land on my back as she scrambles to grab the chain off the floor. She makes a break for the door, but I block it, tackling her to the ground so I can feel her soft body against mine again. 

We tussle and roll around like animals, the chain flying across the floor during the scuffle. It’s a wild game of Capture The Flag, each of us diving for the coveted item. She’s on her stomach, crawling towards it until I take her ankles and drag her backward, cackling like a madman. And like in horror movies, she screams and squirms, kicking me until I let go. 

She drags her body forward, snatches the chain, flips around, and clamps her thighs around my head. Her strong muscles could probably break a watermelon, but I welcome the constriction.

“Ooh, yes, make it hurt,” I choke out, wheezing out a short laugh. Revulsion in her scowl, she cages me in tighter, and I pull back so she slides towards me. Using my remaining strength, I lift her so she’s now perched atop my shoulders, her sweet pussy right where I want it. I dart my tongue out to lick a stripe, the barrier of her leggings so thin that she yelps from the contact.

I’m on my knees and I move forward, pressing her back against the wall. It supports her weight and I pin her hands down, so she can’t sneak the chain on me. She’s shouting at me, but I only hum in return, so she can feel the vibrations of my lips close to her lower ones. 

“Jungkook, let me go!”

“I can already taste you… such arrogance to think you can handle me.”

I look up through her thighs, earning a sharp inhale from her. “Trust me… I’ve been holding back.”

She chants foreign words under her breath and my ears soon discover a sharp ringing noise, making my brain feel like it’s being shredded by a cheese grater. I hold my head with both hands, toppling over and releasing her as we both fall to the floor. When the cacophony subsides, I see she’s standing above me with the lamp. She’s ruthless as she smashes it against my head, the glass shards scattering everywhere. 

I lay on my stomach, dazed, and she put the chain on me hastily. It glows as it erases all forms of rage and lust, and my mind clears while my soul aligns. That’s when the painful sensations of my injuries I had ignored earlier hit me in full force. 

With impeccable timing, the door to our room swings open, and in comes Jin and Namjoon. Jin has his arms up in a fighting pose, his hands encasing two pink orbs prepared for attack. Namjoon has his crossbow gun pointed at me until [Y/N] waves him off with a dismissive gesture.

“You’re a bit late. Put it down.”

The orbs flicker out and Namjoon lowers his weapon, being the first to speak. “What happened?”

“Things got… rough. I put the chain on him. He’s fine now.”

“Easy for you to say,” I mutter. “Can someone please get the first aid kit? I’m bleeding again…”

Your Point of View

Jin’s making it a point to be hospitable. He dragged you around the lodge, indulging you in all the amenities the lodge offers. From paying for your food and drinks to complimentary snowboarding, it was almost like he was overcompensating. 

While he was gracefully swerving down the hill, you spent most of your time falling face-first into the snow, frustrated at the bulky clothes you had on. You called it quits and he finally yielded to your pleas.

Back at the lodge, you shed yourself of your multiple layers, feeling like an onion. At least now you can caramelize by the fireplace in the lobby while sipping on a piping-hot cup of cocoa. 

Jin makes his presence known, plopping himself onto the same futon where you sat with a refreshed “Ah, hot cocoa. Delicious!”

You roll your eyes when he holds his mug out, but you clink your cup against his anyway. “I hope you and Namjoon had your fun in the shower. That’s a nasty hickey.”

He coughs, adjusting his turtleneck to cover up said blemish. “Sorry. I didn’t know you would need me.”

“It’s fine,” you say, glancing around for any unwanted spectators. You whisper the next part. “I grabbed your spellbook and did it myself.”

He bears a proud smile, looking like he is about to deliver well-deserved praises when suddenly, his expression falls. Setting down his beverage, he seemed rather pale despite being near the fireplace. He looks up at the night sky and you follow his gaze. “Oh shit…”

You set down your drink too, paying no mind as it sloshes enough to spill over. “Jin… what’s wrong?”

“It’s a full moon…”

“Yeah. And?”

He shoots up like a rocket and sprints upstairs to his room. You follow at once, off-put by his erratic behavior. He’s found his spellbook on the bed where you left it, flipping through the pages so quickly, you thought they’d rip. Once he settles on the desired section, he shoves the book in your face. 

“Is this the spell you used?!”

You eye the page in its fancy script, seeing the same picture of a wolf howling under the moon. “Yes. It says Binding Chain at the top and I read it. It suppresses a male’s rut.”

“Did you see the fine print?”

“There’s a fine print?” you echo. Skimming the page, you squint at the very bottom to see an anecdote at the bottom marked with an asterisk. You read it out loud. “On the night of a full moon, the binding chain’s powers are reversed. Rather than suppressing a rut, the male’s urges will be amplified…”

The book shuts and you’re greeted by Jin’s stern look. It’s the same one he gave you that time you set his hair on fire by accident. “The closer it gets to midnight, the more unhinged Jungkook will be. This is why you should’ve asked me for help.”

“How was I supposed to know? He was in pain and you were bumping uglies with Namjoon!”

“Spells like this are tricky, especially for novices. We don’t even know if you did it right.”

“Gee, thanks for the bode of confidence.”

A concerned voice from the doorway calls out to you and Jin. “Whoa, whoa, what’s going on here?”

You both turn to see Namjoon in his winter gear, covered in snow like he was a dessert dusted with powdered sugar. Jin walks over and brushes some off his furry hat. “[Y/N] used the wrong spell for Jungkook. His rut is about to come back tenfold and it won’t be pretty.”

“It’s not my fault,” you argue. “If you and he weren’t fucking each other, this wouldn’t have happened!”

“Okay… this is horrible timing,” Namjoon says with a forced awkward laugh. Jin holds him by the shoulders.

“Honey… where’s Jungkook?”

“I… lost something important when we got here. Jungkook and I went out to look for it. I gave up, but he’s stubborn and is still out there.”

You look out the window and see the snowfall getting heavier, each flake larger and more frequent as it piles on the thick blanket that already covers the ground. Visibility was diminishing and you could barely see the outline of the moon in the sky. 

“I’m going to get him,” you say, determined. They look at you like you have three heads. “I’m the only one who can handle him on a night like this.”

“It’s dangerous. The snow is getting worse out there,” Namjoon warns.

“Yeah, and whose fault is it that he’s still out there? He may be immortal, but he has limits too.”

Namjoon recognizes your stubbornness; you share that with Jungkook. He pulls out his phone, hastily texts something, and sends it, which triggers a chime on your phone. 

“There’s a cabin out there that I use on my missions sometimes. You’ll find a cage in the basement that can hold Jungkook for the night. Food, water, clothes, sedatives, weapons—you name it.”

He offers you his crossbow gun, but you decline. “I can get through to him.”

“Are you sure?”

“No. But… It doesn’t feel right to hurt him. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Stay safe. We’ll come find you in the morning.”

Winter is the superior season, some would say. Because with the cold, you can layer clothes nonstop until you’re warm. Newsflash: that’s a lie. You’re freezing your ass off despite your best efforts to combat the frost, but Mother Nature couldn’t resist challenging your limits.  

The weather has taken a turn for the worse as snow swirls around you, making it difficult to see or hear anything. You trudge through it, the flame in your palm being the only source of light and heat as harsh gusts of wind threaten to extinguish it. 

Your magic was technically infinite, considering your necklace was a conductor for it. The jewelry siphons the magic from your hybrid body and allows you to use it like a witch would. However, like with most things, if you overdo it, it drains your energy and weakens its potency. 

When you reach the forest, the wind howls through the trees as your breath comes out in heavy puffs. Each step you take sinks deeper than the previous one until you’re knee-deep in snow. The ground is uneven and your steps slow because even the slightest misstep could be your last. With no one around for miles, this was not the way you wanted to go out. 

You don’t know how much time has passed, but the flame flickers until darkness remains. 

“No… no… please…” You wrap your arms around yourself, the biting cold unforgiving. A rustle in the distance alerts your fight-or-flight and you scan your surroundings, seeing a dark silhouette who you can only assume is… “Jungkook?”

Whoever it was burst into a sudden sprint in the opposite direction. Your body has a mind of its own, chasing him down without hesitation. You reach a clearing where his broad back faces you, the moon casting a soft glow behind his figure. He turns around, revealing his ruby red eyes with streaks of gold, which sparkle like luster dust in water. 

His face is unreadable until you risk a step forward. 

“Don’t come closer!” he barks, startling you to retract back. The hurt in your eyes breaks him, but he couldn’t bear to be a burden for you to shoulder. “I feel like I’m going crazy. You shouldn’t be here.”

“It’s the full moon. The body chain is making things worse. I can—”

“No!” He bares his teeth and bends his knees as if preparing to pounce. “You need to leave. Now!”

Falling onto all fours, he lets out a strangled groan, cursing like there was no tomorrow. His bones snap, pop out of place, and lengthen to create a new foundation for his werewolf form. It was like all his organs were set ablaze, the searing pain shooting throughout his body. You deny his request and take another step. 

“Stay… away!” he orders, his voice roughed and strained.

His head hangs low, clawing the snow beneath him. Though shapeshifting was a great distraction, doing so during a rut could have unpredictable circumstances. It was far too dangerous; he knew better but was desperate for relief. 

“Run…” he breathes, lifting his head. Your legs tremble from his unwavering, lethal gaze. “Run!!!” His canines peek through when he growls at you once more and you are hit with the severity of the situation. Fear strikes through you like a javelin and combined with your rush of adrenaline, you escape the premises. 

Everything is a blur as you zig-zag through the snow-capped trees in the forest. You don’t stop running until your lungs burn to the point where you’re about to vomit. Despite how numb your fingers are, you check your phone, looking up the location of the cabin. It’s not too far away and if you can manage to lure Jungkook there, he’ll be safe for the night.

An eerie howl startles you and you trek forward, looking over your shoulder every so often. It’s not until you come across a line of forestry, where there’s a gap in the middle of two trees. Upon closer inspection, you squint at the darkness that sits between them, and two glowy orbs greet you. 

A low snarl sends chills up your spine as two black paws emerge into the moonlight before their true form follows. You’re face to face with the big black wolf, its eyes glowing with feral intensity. The body chain’s magic allowed for the accessory to enlarge, accommodating Jungkook’s new size. 

“Jungkook…”

He doesn’t respond, almost like that name was foreign to him. All he does is crouch, and you start to regret not having a weapon. With a growl, he lunges at you, powerful muscles rippling under his fur. You barely dodge in time, but his claws graze your arm, ripping through my coat and drawing blood. 

Damn. I’m getting sloppy. I need blood.

You clutch onto the wound, hissing at him as your eyes shift to fiery gold. “Stop! Jungkook, it’s me!”

He circles you like a shark, instilling more fear before he pounces again. His heavy weight forces your body to topple backward, the snow cushioning your fall, and soon stained a vivid crimson. Jungkook had bitten your shoulder this time, his fangs sinking deep. 

Not even your blood-curdling scream dissuades him from prying his jaw off. You feel the prick of tears behind your eye, but you push through it, using your remaining good arm to punch him. The wolf is hurled about twenty feet away and you force yourself up.

“Okay… it’s clear you’re more beast than man right now…” you say, panting as more blood trickles onto the snow. The wolf shakes its head and slowly rises, its predatory gaze stripping you of your fortitude. 

Just then a deep rumble beneath your feet alerts you to look up, where the heart of the mountain was. The signs are there: the snowpack drifting, ominous cracks in the ground, and a thunderous roar as snow cascades down the landform.

“Shit…” you say, running in the opposite direction. “Come on! Chase me!”

Thankfully you don’t have to ask twice. Jungkook’s hot on your trail as the snow is on his. The ground continues to shake, the avalanche's roar deafening, drowning out all other sounds. Both your lives are at stake and you run to the cabin up ahead, your breath coming in ragged gasps.

As you reach the door, you swipe the keycard Namjoon lent you, the faint click giving you a moment of reprieve. You throw the door open at the same time Jungkook tackles you from behind. You stumble forward, his weight crushing you as he slashes your back with his sharp claws. 

Now you’re pissed.

You flip onto your back, clutching his paws while his jaw snaps towards your face, spit flying everywhere. 

“God, Jungkook! Get a grip!” You grunt as you exert your muscles, throwing him into the living room area. A wooden table is smashed into bits and the TV screen has a crack down the middle, but you don’t care. You kick the door shut just as the avalanche slams into the ground outside, its force shaking the cabin walls. 

The noise is overwhelming, but it distracts the beast long enough for you to search for the basement. The cabin’s small space makes it easy as one narrow door sits in the corner, so you try your luck. There’s a set of steep, wooden stairs and you descend quickly, seeing dim recess ceiling lights that cast a soft yellow glow. 

Unlike the cabin, the basement was underground and wide, with ample space for the cage Namjoon had promised. It’s in the furthest left corner with thick chains attached to the floor and ceiling. A workbench greets you once you reach the last step, filled with various weapons and tranquilizers you were all too familiar with.

Due to his hybrid nature, your best bet is to grab the syringe with vervain and wolfsbane. Reassurance is but a fleeting moment when Jungkook descends the stairs too, determined to finish you off. 

He bites your leg this time, and you jam the syringe into his neck simultaneously. Once the wolf loses consciousness, you stumble backward and hit your head on the edge of the workbench, drifting into darkness.

Jungkook’s Point of View

Something wet touches my fingers and it stirs me awake. My muscles are screaming, feeling like I have been hit by a semi-truck. I open my eyes, forcing myself to sit up and look at my hands. 

“Oh my god…”

Red is all I see. I’m covered in it. My lips taste it. But I don’t remember how it got there and that scares me. However, I look over to see [Y/N]’s unconscious body next to me. The blood is hers, pooling from her head and her body looks like a corpse from a crime scene. I’m terrified now, crawling over to her while my body shakes. 

“No… please.” 

I saw the gruesome claw marks on her arm, the nasty bites on her shoulder and leg, and her head wound that was still bleeding. I lift her head first, then her back, seeing the scratches there too. I don’t know what to do other than hold her close, listening for signs of life. It’s faint, but she’s breathing. 

“Who did this to you?” I breathe, but the question is stupid. I’m covered in evidence of my crimes, a sin with no solution. Her face looks sickly, so I bite my wrist and put it against her lips, forcing her to drink my blood for sustenance. 

I choke out a sob when I don’t see a difference.

“I’m so sorry…” I kiss the top of her head, praying to anyone who hears it, to bring her back to me. 

“Jungkook…”

I thought I was hearing things until she calls for me again. It’s a fucking miracle. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean to…”

“Shh… haven’t you heard of kissing a person’s boos-boos?” Her lips curl into a faint smile and I’m thrown for a loop. How can she speak so lightly about the horrors I’ve committed?

“You must have a concussion. I need to patch you up.”

“No. Kiss my wounds, silly. Just like you did to my head.”

I was too distraught to realize, but the blood on the rug we were on had vanished. Her hair no longer smells of iron either and realization dawns on me.

“Okay. Let me help you get out of your clothes first.”

It’s not a smooth process, but she handles it like a champ as I maneuver her coat, shirt, and tank top off. I pause every so often when she winces, making sure she’s comfortable before I move on. Her boots come off next and then her leggings, leaving her only in her undergarments. 

Lying her flat on her back, I get on top and kiss her shoulder area first. It’s a magical sight watching the wound seal itself as new skin regenerates while the blood evaporates. She coos at the relief, giving me a warm smile. 

“That feels nice.”

I head for her arm next, giving it several smooches to cover the claw marks. Each one repairs itself the same way. I lean back on my knees, holding her leg up until it reaches my lips and I leave another kiss there. Her eyes shimmer in excitement as do mine when the bite heals. 

“Can you turn around for me?” I ask. She gets on all fours, exposing her back to me. It was the nastiest injury yet, the laceration deep and red. I don’t care and kiss every inch of her skin until it goes away, noticing how she shivers each time. 

Once she’s fully healed, I see a cage in the corner and eye the chains inside. I get up and head there, frantically trying to get the cuffs on. She follows me and I curse at my shaky hands for being too slow. 

“What are you doing now?” she asks as if it’s not obvious.

“Damn it all, why can’t I get this on?!” She places her hands on mine, steadying them until they stop trembling. “[Y/N], please. I need to be chained up. It’s dangerous for you to be here, I almost killed you!”

“But you didn’t. I’m fine. I knew the risks.”

“Why didn’t you beat me senseless? I deserved it.”

She shakes her head, still able to give me a soft smile as if I didn’t try to maul her to death however long ago. “Because your rut… it’s not easy to deal with. And I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you. Besides, I messed up on the spell.”

She points to the body chain on me. “On a full moon, it amplifies your rut. Not suppress it.”

I drop the cuffs and grab the body chain instead, ready to yank it off when she snatches my wrists. 

“Don’t,” she orders. “I want it on.”

My eyes widen. “This thing almost got you killed.”

“It’s hot on you.”

“Are you okay? Is your head fully healed? Why are you—”

She pecks me on the lips to shut me up. It’s cute, sweet, and simple. Sometimes I wish we were simple. 

“Jungkook… ever since I saw you at the wedding, I haven’t been able to heal properly,” she confesses. 

My hands drop to my sides. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure. But whenever I got a cut, it healed but not as fast as it usually did. And I thought about when I got hurt at the wedding, how you kissed my hand, and how fast it healed then. This has never happened to me before, but I realized… I can’t be without you.”

She caresses the side of my face and I shiver at her gentle touch, placing a chaste kiss on her palm. “No… you were right to leave. I’m dangerous.”

A finger comes up to my lips. “Shh… our fates are entwined whether you like it or not, you stupid bastard,” I can’t help but chuckle and she giggles. It lights up my world. “When you said you never stopped loving me back at the lodge… were you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” Her expression is teetering between fondness and confusion. “Sorry, that’s not romantic, huh?”

“It is to me. I love you too.”

Her confession triggers something in me. It's a carnal, animalistic need and I realize my rut is surging back with renewed intensity. 

“My love, I need you to make a choice,” I say with labored breathing. Sweat coats my hair, matting it to my forehead. My body feels like I’m being incinerated inside out. “I want you permanently. Not temporarily. Body and soul. Your devotion. If you stay…”

“I’ll stay. I promise,” she says without a trace of hesitation. But I can’t help but be reminded of the past.

“How do I know you won’t leave again?”

She ponders her answer but then says, “Because when I’m not focused on my future, I’m focused on ours.” 

It brings me immense joy, but my lust drowns it out. 

“Okay. We’re going to need a safe word. Or you need to promise you’ll defend yourself against me by any means if it becomes too much.”

“Jungkook—”

“I mean it. Because everything I said at the lodge was true. Everything.”

She wets her lips at the memory, which tempts me with depravity. “Are you okay if I’m still infertile?”

“I never minded it. Because I’m going to fuck you like I’m gonna breed you anyway.” 

She nods. “... Red.”

“Red,” I repeat and then I’m all over her.

Your Point of View

Jungkook lunges at you, his movements a blur of desperate need. You’re pressed against the iron bars of the cage as he kisses you like he’ll devour you whole. His hands roam your body to tear off your bra and panties, and you gasp, but he swallows it by kissing you deeper.

His hands are greedy, kneading your breasts in circular motions. He twists one of your nipples with his forefinger and thumb, the sensation borderlining pain and pleasure, but you succumb to it. Especially when he stops kissing you to lower himself, sucking on your other nipple. He doesn’t hold back and tugs on it between his teeth, earning a mewl from you. 

When he pulls back, he releases it with an audible pop before giving the other one the same treatment. Your hands run through his hair, gripping hard enough to make him moan with hunger. He pushes your breasts together, so he’s able to suck both nipples simultaneously. The sight enraptures you, and you swear he’s the most attractive man alive. 

“I can’t wait, I need you now. I need you many… many times tonight,” he says after he’s left several purple constellations in his wake. You’re turned around, holding onto the bars for support as his bicep slithers around your neck. His lips find purchase on the shell of your ear. “God, I want to destroy you.”

He slips his thick cock in between your thighs, feeling the copious amount of slickness between your folds. He thrusts back and forth and you rock your hips in tandem, appreciating his restraint. Each time his tip brushes against your clit, you moan to the ceiling while he groans against your neck. 

You’re sensitive, on the brink of an orgasm, but Jungkook comes first. White spurts of cum spill out from his tip, and he shudders when you use your hand to coax out more. 

“Fuck, I can’t hold on anymore. I’d do more to prep you, but I can’t wait. I’m sorry.” 

Despite coming already, Jungkook was still fully erect. You swore he might’ve even gained an inch. He was deliciously massive, blessed in both girth and length. 

“It’s okay. I can take it,” you assure. 

“If it’s too much?”

“I say red.”

Jungkook holds onto your hips and pulls you back, your body now parallel to the floor at a ninety-degree angle. You arch your back and stick your ass out for him, even going far as to shake your peach to tantalize him. Without needing to guide it, he slams his dick into you with such violence that it leaves you winded. 

He wastes no time thrusting, his pace desperate, rushed, and greedy to satisfy an insatiable hunger. You’re holding onto the bars for dear life as he fucks you like it’s his last day on Earth. There’s a burn that comes with not having time to adjust to his inhumane size, but you endure. Lust covers a world of hurt and the stretch ignites a fervor. 

The basement is filled with sounds of skin slapping against skin and unabashed moaning. Jungkook grips your hips so tight, they bruise. He smacks your ass multiple times, each sting resulting in a tighter clench from your soaking pussy, which drives him wild.  You love how he stretches you out, how he’s using you like a dumb fucktoy for his cravings. You want to please him because it pleases you. 

Without warning, he pistons into you faster, and you can barely see straight. His last thrust is sharp and calculated, a rough grunt escaping him as he empties himself into you. Your legs are trembling when he pulls out, admiring how his cum oozes out of you. 

Sliding down to the ground, you rest your back against the cage and close your eyes to catch a break. However, Jungkook smacks your cheeks a couple of times to get your attention. He’s erect again, no surprise. You swear with each orgasm, he’s getting bigger. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. 

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

He places a hand on your head, guiding your lips to his throbbing cock. It’s coated in shared body fluids, but you open your mouth like an automated response until he slides himself in. You gag when he hits the back of your throat and he pulls out, but not all the way. You have to mentally prepare yourself for what comes next as he grabs ahold of both sides of your head, fucking your face as he pleases. 

You’re choking and saliva dribbles down to your breasts, your eyes sting with tears, but he keeps going and you take the abuse. He doesn���t hold your head lovingly. Rather, his hand cages you in, guiding you however he sees fit. Your jaw is sore, but that’s a small price to pay when you have the most gorgeous man throwing his head back in bliss because of you. 

Once his hips stutter and he comes again, you swallow the slightly bitter fluid and he releases you.

“Get up.”

You’re a bit dizzy, so he helps you to your feet. You see him squat and bring your legs atop his shoulders. In one swift motion, he stands with you perched atop and you squeal, holding his head in fear of falling. 

“Jungkook!”

“Hold onto the cage.”

You don’t question him and do just that, thinking about how this was the same way you took down your opponent back at the farm. However, the only danger here was Jungkook having you right where he wanted you.

He sticks his tongue out and begins lapping up your juices from earlier. You’re unable to process being suspended in the air while getting eaten out at the same time. It’s thrilling, and you almost sob when he invades your walls and tongue-fucks you. The slurping noises that leave him are obscene. It’s as if you were his last meal, which only coaxes out more arousal. It’s too much when your orgasm nears, but he grabs your ass tighter and everything snaps.

You’re screaming his name, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Your ears ring, your toes curl, and you shut your eyes to ride the waves of bliss. You don’t even realize when you’re back on the ground because it feels like you’re not even on the same planet anymore. 

And suddenly you’re in the air again. Jungkook grabs the underside of your thighs and lifts you, your legs perched around his waist and your hands around his neck. He uses one hand to guide his tip to your entrance, and your breath hitches. 

“We’re not done yet.”

“I never want you to be. Use me.”

He sinks you onto his cock, bouncing you like a rag doll. You hold each other close, staring intensely into each other’s eyes. Everything burns inside Jungkook’s body. His thighs, his arms, his heart—but that pain fuels him to fuck you harder. You kiss him first this time, inserting your tongue and sliding it against his. It’s sloppy but erotic, and he only ups his speed. 

He doesn’t last long and comes again, but you wait until he decides to put you down. You’re on your back now and he places a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“God, I wanna fill you up again. Breed you until you’re exhausted.”

He has hold of your ankles, bringing them up high until your knees hug your chest as he inserts himself again. You can see his fat cock going in and out of you, his cock creamy and white from your slick. Your tummy bulges with each thrust, but the nightmarish visual is, somehow, incredibly sexy. He makes you feel full, yet you can’t seem to get enough. 

“Fuck, how are you still going?” you whimper. He chuckles like he’s flattered, lowering your legs so he can lay flat on top, chest to chest. You’re both sweaty and reek of sex, but it feels right. 

“Because you’re my soulmate. I’m going to ravish you.” 

Hours pass. He’s more beast than man at this point, almost unrecognizable. This wasn’t making love. He was determined to fuck your brains out. 

Every position imaginable, no part of your body went unexplored. If you were a country, he was a sergeant invading every part of you. You’re bruised and full of bloody scratches, but so was he. 

Whenever you were nearing the possibility of passing out, he found a way to give you a break. Whether by humping your thighs again or using your hands, he didn’t care. You’re soaked in his cum, a sticky, filthy mess that he deemed beautiful. He took pride in his work like you were his canvas for a Jackson Pollock painting. 

His boundless energy inspired him to get creative, making use of the cage’s chains. He had you dangle from the ceiling as he fucked you from the front. From the back. In your ass. 

If he thought you were tight before, your ass was a whole other story. You’d never taken something so big. It took a while for you to relax and though lube was ideal, the copious amounts of cum he filled you with earlier worked fine. More than fine. Something about him shoving his two fingers in you to draw out his cum to finger your asshole felt lecherous. You swore you were going to tear in half, but when his tip brushed sweet spots you didn’t know existed, you came harder than the previous times.  

Now you are on all fours, his hand in your hair, locking you in the humiliating position. He penetrates deep inside, loving the way your ass jiggles every time your bodies meet. You’ve been reduced to a moaning mess, unable to think about anything but his cock. 

You’re saying “Yes, yes, yes!” but the words are slurred, reduced to pure nonsense, thanks to his brutal movements. His thrusts are merciless, repeatedly hitting you in that sweet spot with no signs of slowing down unless he changes positions. 

“Fuck, this is it,” he grunts. He carefully pulls out, lies on his side, and brings you close so you’re on your side too. Lifting your leg, he slides into you again and resumes penetration. This time when he comes, you can see your belly expand from how much he fills you up. His monstrous cock swells and you whine from the discomfort, feeling like you’re about to pop. 

“It hurts,” you cry. Jungkook cuddles you as his knot takes form, ensuring no cum spills out. 

“I know, love. It’ll be okay.” He litters your neck with kisses to distract you from the pain until you’re used to his new size. You’ve never felt so full and can’t believe you’re stuck like this for who knows how long. It’s a phony moment of reprieve, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Once the pain subsides, you lay there as he hugs you, feeling his chest on your back. He holds your hand, intertwining his fingers in yours. You take this chance to look at his tattoos, noticing one stand out in particular. 

“What’s this?” you ask.

You’re pointing to a tattoo of a lake with mountains that have a full moon situated between them on his forearm.

“Oh, that? It’s where I first fell for Namjoon when he sparred with me.” His playful lilt makes you pout.

“Hey…” 

Jungkook kisses your shoulder and grins. “That’s where I first fell for you, silly. And where I fell for you again the night of the wedding. I contemplated getting rid of it, but… I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

“Aw…” A question pops into your mind that you’ve been dying to ask. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why did you have vervain on you that day? Why carry the burden of knowing?”

He hums like he was expecting that question. “Because I know you too well and maybe… I wanted to keep that pain because it was my last link to you. I couldn’t give that up.” He turns your face so you’ll look up at him. “I love you, [Y/N].”

Saying those three words back again didn’t feel like enough. He was your one and you wanted to spend eternity with him.

“Mark me. Make me yours for good.”

His doe eyes form an OJO face, which earns a laugh from you. Despite all that’s happened, this manages to surprise him. 

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, and you allow him to mark you as his. 

The next morning you and Jungkook are cleaned up, cuddling by the fireplace in the living room area. 

“Why is there a saxophone over there?” you ask, pointing to the random instrument near the door.

“You know what… I’m not sure.” Jungkook gets up, walks over to it, and picks it up. The face he makes while examining it is endearing, but you’re curious when he reaches his hand in the bell of the instrument. “I feel something.”

He pulls out something small, but you recognize the diamond instantly. “Is that a wedding ring?”

His face morphs into panic. “It’s not for you,” he blurts. You giggle and approach him, swiping the ring. 

“I know that, silly. You wouldn’t propose to me here.”

He visibly relaxes, rubbing the back of his nape, cheeks flushed. “It’s Namjoon’s.”

“Oh! Is this what he asked you to help him find? Is he going to propose to Jin? How sweet!”

A strange hissing noise distracts you two, and you turn your attention to the window. The snow from the avalanche is melting rapidly and soon, the door opens, revealing the couple you were just talking about.

“We’re here!” Jin shouts with his arms out in a ta-da position. 

“Again… you’re a little late,” you tease. Namjoon strides in, taking a look at the damage you two inflicted in the small space. 

“Geez… what did you two do?”

“What didn’t we do?” Jungkook says, giving you a wink. You can only laugh as you playfully hit his shoulder. 

The clothes the cabin had were a size too big on you, so they drooped on your small frame. Namjoon and Jin are quick to notice the bite mark on your exposed shoulder and how it solidified into something akin to a tattoo.

“Oh… Oh,” Jin says, realization hitting him as his ears turn red. “Congratulations!”

“Well, we should congratulate you too,” Jungkook says, giving Namjoon a pointed look. The man is confused at first, but then nods once he feels you slip the metal item into his palm. He’s ecstatic and immediately grabs the saxophone. You and Jungkook grin while his rather awkward proposal plays out, with Jin mostly unaffected and choosing to criticize his partner’s clothing choices instead.

“Hey! I practiced hard for you and you only talk about my clothes?!” Namjoon says, but the smile he wears lets you know he’s not hurt. Jin laughs and hugs him.

“I’m touched!”

Namjoon finally gets down on one knee and pops the question. “Will you marry me then?”

Now Jin’s entire face is flushed. “Oh my god… of course, my gentle giant.”

Jungkook and you give each other a knowing look, wondering when your turn will come next. He holds your hand and you lay your head on his shoulder. 

“That’ll be us someday,” he says.

“I know. But I’m not in a rush. I’m already yours.”

General A/N: Hello!!! Thank you for reading until the end. I appreciate reblogs and asks if you wanna share your thoughts. 💘

Moonstruck Readers A/N: So for those who are curious, I was going to include NamJin’s wedding where Taehyung shows up and he sees OC and JK together. And that could lead to a whole other spiral of feelings. ;) But I’m not promising to write it. This is their happy ending and OC and JK do get married eventually. 

Or if you’re like my friend who keeps saying TaeKook should both be with OC, well, that’s in another universe I guess. LOL!

[sttoru]

“AS IF THE MEMORIES HAVE A HEART THAT ONLY BEATS AT NIGHT.”

༄ sypnosis. your boyfriend is on a business trip, yet always finds the time to call you at night. though, this time he’s lonely and in need of comfort.

༄ note. inspired by one of mahmoud darwish’s poems plus by my love for this man. sigh he’s so pretty. excuse me if this is too sappy.

༄ tags. satoru x reader. female reader. pet names such as ‘sweet, love, baby, babe, angel”. satoru is clingy. this is just uhh, fluff and sprinkles of angst + reverse comfort. spoilers jjk manga (stuff w/ suguru & toji).

“what are you doing,” “where are you,” and “who’s with you,”

satoru, as always, didn’t give you the chance to greet him properly once you picked up his call. your boyfriend was sent on a mission overseas and has been calling you every night since.

he says it’s to ‘hear your pretty voice’ and because he apparently ‘can’t survive without hearing it at least once a day’.

“satoru— love, calm down.” you chuckle softly, putting the call on speaker before going back to eat your dinner.

you hear the sorcerer let out a small whine over the phone, “my bad, sweet. you know i always look forward to speaking with you.”

you hum lightly in response. satoru has always had the habit to call you whenever he misses you even in the slightest of amounts.

some may find that annoying, however you’re aware that you are the only person satoru can rely on at the end of the day. that’s exactly why you try your best to answer all of his phone calls.

“how’d the mission go?” you ask after swallowing a bite of your food.

“pfft, the usual. dealt with some annoying curses that’ve been plaguing the area.” your boyfriend groans; he wished he didn’t have to take care of his duties so he could be with you all the time.

satoru just wanted to hold you in his arms, cuddle you, shower you with love, take you out on cute dates and spoil you with all kinds of gifts. his responsibilities as a teacher and as the strongest sorcerer constantly got in the way of that simple dream.

“good work, baby. you did well today.” you reply, earning a small ‘i-know-i-did’ huff from your boyfriend.

“thanks,” satoru adds, his voice muffled. it sounded like he had some food in his mouth, which you easily guessed was something sweet, “you know.. i was thinking about us— eh, you in particular.”

a silence falls over the phone afterwards. it was like satoru gave you a moment to process his words before he continues.

“well, when do you not think about me?” you snicker.

you couldn’t see it, but satoru rolled his eyes at your comment before letting a chuckle escape his lips, “hey! was trying to create a sentimental mood there.”

“but, i guess— yeah. true.” your words were the truth; satoru was a hopeless man when it came to you. you’ve invaded his thoughts, his heart and even his soul.

“anyways,” your boyfriend continues, pausing slightly to swallow the snack in his mouth, “i know i say this every day, but i wish you were here with me.”

you stop chewing on your food as soon as you hear the slight change of tone in satoru’s voice. you immediately knew that he needed you at the moment.

“mhm, i know,” you reply quietly. you wanted to let him get it all out before comforting him properly with your words.

satoru took that short answer as a sign to keep talking and opening up about his feelings to you.

“it’s just,” he sighs defeatedly, “actually, i don’t know. i guess being alone during times like these really gets to me.”

satoru stared at the ceiling as he laid on his back. his phone was on the pillow right next to his head, also on speaker.

when he’s with you, it’s easy to forget about all kinds of gloomy thoughts that may enter his mind. all satoru has to do is focus his attention on you and he won’t have any time to dwell on such stuff.

however when he’s alone, he’s left with his own brain and the thoughts that ate away at him ever since the inevitable incident with toji a few years ago.

suguru. amanai.

rustling sounds; satoru’s moving positions on his bed to somehow focus on your voice again.

“i guess it’s also because it’s unknown what the future holds.” satoru pauses. this time the pause was for him to collect his thoughts.

you knew what he meant by that; satoru had went through a few traumatic events over the years. he’s faced betrayal, loss and death ever since he was a teenager.

even if he doesn’t say nor show it, satoru is scared of what the future holds for him. especially with you in the picture now— he doesn’t want you to change or disappear on him. the thought alone makes his heart ache.

“..hey, can you promise me one thing, angel?” satoru eventually speaks up again, his voice a hushed whisper over the phone.

“of course. what is it?” you answer softly.

a third and short silence falls between you again.

“promise me that you’ll stay safe.” satoru sounds like he’s desperately trying to keep his tone neutral, however you could sense some vulnerability in there.

now that you’re thinking about it, you’ve never seen or heard satoru cry out in sadness or distress. though you know for sure that those feelings are building up somewhere inside of him. it’s only a matter of time before they need to be released.

“i promise,” you start in a comforting tone, “i promise i’ll stay safe, satoru.”

you could hear your boyfriend sigh in relief. just a small promise like that was enough to calm him down a little. for now, that is.

“i’ve failed many people before,” satoru continues, still trying to keep the tone of his voice neutral, “however, i will not fail you.”

you nod to yourself. the rest of your dinner was getting cold as you used your chopsticks to absentmindedly poke the rice while listening to satoru over the phone.

“you’re too important for me to lose,” he murmurs, taking a deep breath to steady his voice, “if it ever comes to that.. i don’t know what i’ll do.”

satoru actually doesn’t know how he’ll react or what he’ll do if you—the only person worth fighting for—would leave him; will all the thoughts come crashing down on him and cause him to finally break down?

he doesn’t know. nor does he want to find out. ever.

“don’t you worry, love.” you answer, “i hereby promise you that i won’t leave your side any time soon.”

you sigh, a small smile on your face which satoru couldn’t witness. you figured to cheer him up with your own words— it felt like he needed a mix of distraction and comfort at the moment and that’s what you wanted to give him.

“i’m not going anywhere. you’re completely and utterly stuck with me for now.” you playfully warn him, putting emphasis on the two words, “there’s no backing out of this, ‘toru.”

the sorcerer couldn’t help but laugh slightly at your last remark; you always knew how to make him feel better in an instant. that’s why he loved you to death,

“make that forever and we have a deal.”

“fiiine,” you reply in an over exaggerated tone before giggling, “forever it is. don’t get bored of me any time soon then.”

“oh, don’t you worry, angel.” satoru chuckles, sighing the stress away in one deep breath, “i’ll never get bored of my favourite girl. never in a million years.”

he sits up on his bed before standing up and walking to the window of his hotel room. satoru looked outside while grabbing another snack from a nearby table.

the sky was beautiful; it reminded him of you, though your beauty was no match for the sky. you were prettier than nature itself.

“satoru.” you call out to him over the phone and he immediately snaps back to reality.

“yeah, baby?” he replies, unwrapping his chocolate bar with one hand in the meantime.

“be reaaaal honest with me. like really honest.” a grin forms on your face as you thought of what to say next.

“you know i always speak the truth with you,” satoru mutters with a smile while putting a piece of chocolate in his mouth, “go on.”

“how many of those chocolate bars have you eaten today?”

the question caught satoru off guard and he instantly stops chewing.

satoru turns his head to the left and then to the right, eyes narrowed and body in a defensive stand like somebody was going to attack him any time soon.

“wh— the hell? how did you know? don’t tell me you’ve been secretly watchin’ me the entire time.”

you could already picture the way he’s probably checking his entire hotel room at the moment. your poor boyfriend may be strongest, but not when it comes to such silly ‘scary’ stuff. it’s adorable.

“babe, you never go a day without eating that one specific chocolate bar.” you giggle softly, taking another bite of your own food, “i’ve come to know your eating habits by now.”

“that so?” satoru grins to himself as he puts another piece in his mouth, “what am i thinking at the moment then? if you know me so well.”

you roll your eyes and get up to put your dishes away, taking your phone with you to the sink. “hmm.. well let me think.”

“take all the time you need, baby.”

satoru constantly tells you that you’re always on his mind, so you figured that this time wouldn’t be any different.

you know it’d probably be something sappy that’ll make you both giggle uncontrollably.

“maybe, something like—“ you start in a teasing tone, “i don’t know, uhh— ‘i love you?’”

there it goes; the uncontrollable giggles and laughter that fill both of your ears. it felt like you were two young teenagers in love again.

“damn, i’m really that predictable, huh?” satoru eventually says, trying to catch his breath as his tummy started to hurt from laughing so much.

“nah. i’d say it’s the power of love.”

another fit of laughter follows.

so, the night went on and on; going from discussions about random stupid stuff to deep philosophical conversations and back to the cheesy, lovey dovey remarks.

and of course, the call wouldn’t end without a direct and sleepy ‘i love you’ from your dear boyfriend.

[ohimsummer]

THAT’S THE WRONG NUMBER ft. TOJI FUSHIGURO

— minors dni, female! reader, riding toji, kind of exhibitionism, reader gets called a slut, creampie, light dumbification, cuckholding, inspired by a conversation I had with my coworker lol

wc 1.1k

Toji’s eyes jerk open, the soft ‘plap plap’ of you bouncing on his cock overcome by the shrill ring of his cellphone. The device, having obnoxiously interrupted his bliss, vibrates restlessly on the wooden side table. Toji stares at the unknown number on his screen, a brow raised in mild concern. There were only a select few people who had his number and all of them were listed in his contacts, so he really had no idea who it could be.

Your movement slows as you notice the subtle change in his mood.” Somethin’ wrong, Toji?”

He smoothes a large hand over your waist, tightens his grip and raises your body until just his tip remains inside. “You don’t worry your pretty lil’ head ‘bout it, doll, keep goin’ for me.”

Humming and lowering your hips, Toji doesn’t have to tell you twice before you’re engulfing his cock in your needy hole again. Your hands find purchase on his spread knees, and you watch him through the window’s reflection. A hand reaches around to squeeze your breast before massaging a nipple under his thumb. Toji pinches it between two fingers, drawing a whine from you, and then tugs at the hardened bud while the other hand tucks his phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Mm?”, Toji grunts into the speaker, obviously annoyed.

The other person hesitates for a second, before asking, “Er–, is this, uh, Y/N?”

Dark eyes bore holes into your back, and your skin tingles beneath Toji’s hard, irritated gaze. “Who’s askin’ ?”

The person, some guy, stutters over the line for a few seconds and Toji grins. “Some-someone gave me their number earlier, sorry I must’ve called the wrong one-“

“Nah, nah.,” Toji quickly corrects them. “She’s right here, lemme give her the phone.”

His words barely register in your mind before Toji’s holding the phone to your ear. You hesitate, and he warns you with a particularly harsh thrust before you’re taking the phone in a shaky grasp. “Attagirl.” he groans lowly behind you. As you slur out a half-assed greeting, you notice your boyfriend plant his feet on the floor, grip fastening on your hips as Toji stills your movements. You give him a pitiful, needy glance, one he huffs a laugh at, and Toji uses his strength to hold you steady.

“H-hey–!,” you squeak out as Toji suddenly slams into you, breath snatched away at his sudden wild and relentless pace.

You recognize the voice on the other end instantly, some weirdo who wouldn’t take no for an answer when he asked for your number, so you gave him Toji’s instead. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, both in aggravation and toe-curling pleasure from the thick drag of Toji’s cock amongst your walls. You feel every vein and every twitch, every throb of his length amidst the wet heat of your pussy, and you stuff a fist between your teeth just to smother your moans.

“Hey, what’s up?,” the guy asked. “It’s Anthony, we met in the superm…”

His voice fades away instantly, all you can focus on is the way Toji’s fat dick plunges deeper and deeper with every thrust. You balance on your toes, nails sinking into Toji’s legs just to help you stay upright. He runs a hand down the arch of your back, presses you forward just a bit and leers at the gooey, white mess built up at the base of his cock. The lewd mixture of cum, slick, and precum connecting the both of you between every thrust. Just under the sloppy sound of skin against skin, Toji can still hear that prick on the phone rambling on and on, but what he can’t hear? Those filthy cries and curses you usually make whenever he impales you on his dick. And he doesn’t like that, not one bit.

“T- Toji!,” you feebly warn as his hand trails lower, stopping to lightly twist your erected nipples before making it’s way to rub rough, messy circles on your swollen clit. “Don’t–!”

“Uhh…,” Anthony mutters awkwardly on the phone. “Is this a bad time…?”

“G-give me, ah, one min–ute!”, you force between half-muffled whines before Toji shoves himself into you once more, nudging at that spongy spot inside you and a broken sob breaks out from your lips.

“You sure?”

A quick “mhm!” is all you can muster as your release threatens to tip over the edge. Moans and whimpers leak out around your fist still tightly wedged in your mouth, soaked with drool that also drips down your chin, and you opt to hold Toji’s phone at arm’s length.

He stands behind you, dragging your hips up with his own to continue his feverish assault on your body. Every thrust pounded into you lurches your body forward, the phone now dangling in your feeble grip. You clutch at his forearm, nails leaving behind angry, red scratches and you can’t hide the loud, ruined wails Toji drives out of you.

A bruising grasp on your hips, he leans over your back to mutter against your ear. “Ya still on the phone with that guy?” He laughs a low chuckle in your ear. “Ya want him to hear you bein’ a slut on my dick, huh? That’s why you givin’ my number out to random guys, so they can hear you on the phone gettin’ fucked up?” Your pussy clenches around him at his words.

And just to make a point, his teeth sink into the sensitive spot of your neck, and you groan so loud there’s no way Anthony didn’t hear it. You can faintly hear him still on the line, but you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to care at this point. Toji’s dick batters against the sweet spot of your pussy, and it has your brain turned to complete mush. Your legs nearly give out as your high comes crashing down on you in massive waves, and Toji holds you upright to fuck you right through it. His dick twitches inside you and you can tell he’s close. “Ugh, f-fuck,” he grunts into your neck, “Cummin’ angel–“ His thrusts grow stuttered, balls tightening and he slows to a grind against your ass as heavy loads of his release spurt deep inside you.

You drawl out one last moan as Toji eases out, leaving you with an empty sensation; you can feel his and your cum dripping out your fluttering hole and down your thighs. Arms limply falling towards the floor, the cellphone slips from your hand, luckily landing on the carpet with a soft ‘thud!’, and you whine when Toji plunges two thick fingers into your cunt to stuff his cum back inside. “You worked hard for this, didn’t you? Can’t waste it now.” And you mindlessly nod your head in agreement, much to his amusement. A loud round of pants and gasps for air fill the room, apparently loud enough for Anthony to hear as you and Toji both watch the words ‘Call Ended’ show up on the screen.

[holllandtrash]

the people's princess | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x princess!reader (selin yagcioglu faceclaim)

everyone thought charles was the princess of monaco but when the real one comes out hiding and slowly inserts herself into the world of f1, suddenly 2 princesses don't seem so bad i know very little about royalty and monarchs so uhh dont come for me

princessyn.updates

liked by dailyceleb, monaco.daily and 25,91 others

princessyn.updates meet the 22-year-old Princess, who is set to be Monaco's first female monarch since the 17th century. Y/N has kept out of the spotlight for much of her youth as she focused on academics until recently where it is announced she attended Collège Alpin Beau Soleil in Switzerland and Kings College of London

view all 612 comments

genzprincesses where the hell has she been hiding

userjanessa this is now a y/n fan account

perceval_lordsharl this is a lie, charles leclerc is the TRUE princess of monaco

monacomonarchynews

liked by monaco.daily, princessyn.updates and 18,103 others

monacomonarchynews The 23-year-old Princess, Y/N is the only child of Albert II, Prince of Monaco. Y/N has studied abroad in the United States, Sweden and in Dubai up until recently. She has now returned to Monaco and has shifted her studies to the Monarchy.

view all 412 comments

userjanessa this is conflicting information

ynismommy hello didn't another account say shes 22 and studied in switzerland and london?? what is the truth

allthefandoms so no one knows anything about her is what it seems like

fantasy_leagues_lewis kinda sus...charles would never

driverupdates

liked by carlossleclerc, paddocklewis and 17,204 others

driverupdates charles leclerc seen back in monaco following the australian grand prix!

view all 723 comments

hunnyseb he's calling fred and putting in his 2 weeks after the chaos that was sunday

sharls16 hes angry but he's pretty

pole.positions he needs this break more than any other driver lmaaao

yn.ofmonaco

liked by daily.celeb, ynfanclub and 19,182 others

yn.ofmonaco happy to be home

view all 2,104 comments

ynfanclub she is the moment

userjanessa i've been WAITING for her first post and the princess did not dissapoint

sharls16 maybe charles will be in a better mood once he meets the literal princess of monaco

happyhamilton ??? are they. .. supposed to meet? sharls16 i mean, why wouldn't they? he's f1 royalty and she's ROYALTY royalty both from monaco lestappen i would pay so much money to see them together r u kidding

princessyn.updates

liked by ynismommy, monaco.daily and 24,192 others

princessyn.updates Y/N has just arrived at the Fondation Prince Albert II de Monaco Gala ! This is the first public event she has attended but we hope to see more of her as she settles into life as a Royal in Monaco

view all 1,927 comments

ynismommy okay i luv her

yellowferrari wait didn't charles go to this thing last year?? what if he's here this year too 👀👀

charschumick ARE WE GONNA GET A ROYAL ON ROYAL MEET UP FINALLY

yn.ofmonaco

liked by lewishamilton, princessyn.updates and 46,102 others

yn.ofmonaco so happy to have been able to attend the Fondation Prince Albert II de Monaco gala tonight, as a girl i was always so inspired by my father and what he has given back to this country. I can't wait to have a bigger role in this organisation moving forward ♡

view all 2,501 comments

ynismommy oh shes smart kind AND charitable

user.schumacher if charles doesn't date her i will

ferrarisandmclarens lewis hamilton what are you doing here in her likes

gussellreorge im sorry but the fact that she doesnt even follow 8 time world champion lewis hamilton but he's still out here liking her pictures...like the drivers know shes a catch leclercswatch idc about her and lewis i care about the non-existent her and charles

princessyn.updates

liked by charles_leclerc, monaco.daily and 28,216 others

princessyn.updates Princess Y/N is back in Boston this week as she has been invited to be a keynote speaker at Massachusetts Institute of Technology

view all 1,793 comments

usermclaren ok so we all heard that charles liked this post and came here to see if it was true right

sharl16 he's making moves usermclaren is he?

bottasspls so is she a business bitch or a princess

ynismommy both

charles_leclerc added to their story

yn.ofmonaco

liked by lewishamilton, princessyn.updates and 59,827 others

yn.ofmonaco What a whirlwind couple of days! I will never take anything in life for granted, thank you mitsloan for inviting me back to speak to future graduates and thank you to the kind stranger at the train station who helped me figure out where I was going (also I just learned what a photo dumb was...did I do it right?)

view all 6,209 comments

ynismommy sweetheart its a photo DUMP

mclarenstractors my favorite thing about Y/N is that she understands social media about as much as my 45 year old mother does

pierregasly 8/10 on the boston dump

yn.ofmonaco That's a passing grade, I will take it!

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly, joris__trouche and 32,765 othes

francisca.cgomes what's better than a last minute trip to nyc

view all 4,122 comments

pierregasly you almost said no

francisca.cgomes but i made it

camii_18 her and pierre are so cute 🥺🥺

bottastappen am i insane or is that the princess of monaco herself in that last picture

ynismommy Y/N was hanging out with kika AND pierre?? i need a 2000 word essay on how this came to be with citations

sharlandsainz but where is charles why isn't he in any photos or did he leave before the princess showed up 🥲

inthepits.podcast added to their story

yn.ofmonaco

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 53,102 others

yn.ofmonaco Art has always been a passion of mind and to be able to accompany Establishment Preschool Des Carmes during their trip to the art gallery was so inspiring and I hope to do it again soon with other schools

view all 3,2100

ynfanclub she is quite literally an angel

formulafirstpls i have it in my head that she is genuinely the sweetest person to ever exist and honestly, i think i'm right

francisca.cgomes 🥹🥹

charles_leclerc Quelle expérience amusante! What a fun experience!

yn.ofmonaco Tu devrais nous rejoindre la prochaine fois! You should join us next time! liked by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc

liked by yn.ofmonaco, pierregasly and 412,103 others

charles_leclerc miamiiiii 🌴☀️🏎 ready for the weekend

view all 16,192 comments

scuderiaferrari game face on

f1mia we're ready for the ferrari boys 🏎❤️

yn.ofmonaco Make Monaco proud!

charles_leclerc i will do my best 😊

yn.ofmonaco

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 78,102 others

yn.ofmonaco It only makes sense that my first Grand Prix is Monaco❤️ While I'm thankful for the experiences I had as a child that led me to studying around the world, I must say it's an incredible feeling to be home and cheering on charles_leclerc and scuderaferrari 🏁

view all 5,300 comments

scuderiaferrari and we're so happy to have you here ❤️

ynismommy SHES CHEERING ON CHARLES

ynfanclub WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE HE'S LITERALLY FROM MONACO

sharl16 one princess cheering on another princess

charles_leclerc 😊😊😊😊

scuderiaferrari

liked by yn.ofmonaco, carlossainz55 and 513,443 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

scuderiaferrari And for the first time Charles Leclerc is a RACE WINNER at his home race, the pinnacle of Motorsport, THE MONACO GRAND PRIX🏁🏎😎 Well deserved win for our Monegasque driver❤️

view all 25,183 comments

charles_leclerc thank you thank you❤️

yn.ofmonaco Well deserved indeed! Well done charles_leclerc!

charles_leclerc thank you y/n😊 means even more that you and your family were there to watch today liked by yn.ofmonaco yellowferraris this is not a drill, the princess of monaco has FINALLY followed charles back and now they are being all cute and friendly in the comments hannah_notmontana she was waiting for him to actually make monaco proud before tossing the follow 💀💀

yn.ofmonaco

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 155,283 others

yn.ofmonaco Had to go through the archives to find this one, but congratulations to my longtime friend charles_leclerc for his Monaco win today! Sundays are officially my new favourite day of the week❤️

view all 6,833 comments

charles_leclerc so much love for you, merci y/n

ynfanclub YA'LL THEY HAVE BEEN FRIENDS THIS WHOLE TIME ARE YOU KIDDING

ynismommy oh my good god we've been bamboozled

pierregasly now that the princess is out of hiding you have to give the crown back charles_leclerc

yn.ofmonaco What does this mean? pierregasly charles has been deemed monaco's princess since you have been gone🤣 charles_leclerc 😐😐😐 yn.ofmonaco Ohh, it's okay charles_leclerc you can keep the crown as long as I get the title haha charles_leclerc i am not a princess scuderiaferrari not with that attitude liked by yn.ofmonaco and pierregasly

aaaand im back with another long smau hehe this was fun, if you made it this far thank you and ily and check out my masterlist here

[halaboyz]

goodnight, dear. — psh

pairing: non-idol! park sunghoon x fem! reader genre: ANGST word count: 16.5k warnings: profanities. reader has illness. simple medical jargons. medical inaccuracies. major character death.

notes: inspired by two filipino books entitled "seven days with miss stalker" written by dara nakahara and "she's dating the gangster" by bianca bernardino.; reader is part of a religion; not discussed, only said for prayers and for giving thanks a/n: ever so dedicated to my now-inactive moot @junjungsunwoo yena <3 it was supposedly part of a collab which was posponed because we all went on a hiatus but! i proceeded with it <3 i love and appreciate all of you <3 tag: @kflixnet

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

summary: befriending the ice prince of your school in the middle of the semester abruptly was something you'd never do. so it takes a little bit of life and time before you do, then bravely asking him to date you for a month. that's all- and you promised you'll leave him alone. 

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ 。 listen now to: spotify. 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

D-105.

Just like usual, you head to your seat at the corner of the cafeteria, munching quietly on your brunch beside your best friend. 

“He’s coming!” Both  of you hear a screech and continuous cheers as a huge crowd of girls run outside, candies, chocolates, and sweet things in their hands as they welcome the ice king of your campus. “Sunghoon!” Park Sunghoon. “Sunghoon, you must be sad. Take this! It will help cheer you up!” A girl stands out from the rest, almost shoving the lollipop on Sunghoon’s face. 

He does nothing but continue walking, tailed by his friends with a chuckle that gethered their own small batch of fangirls. 

“Pathetic.” Seol-in mutters beside you, shaking her head. You immediately look at her with a glare, “Oops.” She chuckles, raising her arms in defense. “Forgot I have another fan here.” 

“To say I’m a fan is too much. I only like him.” You mutter, taking your eyes off of him after a few seconds. And then glancing again. Which made Seol-in chuckle.

“Yeah. That’s what fans do. Like a person.” She explains sarcastically, making you roll your eyes. 

“Then I’m not that obsessed.” You point at the group of girls, “I have my respect and dignity for myself intact to do that. Much more when he’s fresh out of a break up.” 

Seol-in stops eating and perks up when she hears you explain, eyebrows meeting in the middle and slowly turning to look you in the eyes.

“And how do you know that Miss ‘I’m not a fan’?” A smirk was drawn on her lips which made you cough, not meeting her eyes. 

“Just here and there.” 

“Hmm. Here and there. Don’t you think if it was here and there, I would’ve known?” Seol-in raises her brows and taps on the table, knowing that it was going to make you more irritable since it was your ick.

“Fine! Sunghoon posted a story on Instagram with a picture of him partying with a caption ‘single again!’ Are you satisfied?!” You unintentionally burst out,  glaring at Seol-in who was now tight-lipped. 

Quite literally. Lips pressed together, she motions you to not look back but stupidity got the best of you that you understood it as turn around. And so you do.

Sunghoon, standing with his tray of food in hand, was looking down at you. 

“So much for broadcasting my love life status,” Sunghoon deadpans, before moving on to sit on the table next to yours. 

It makes you internally shake your head and curse yourself, turning back to face your own food in shame as you hear relentless mocking of his fans. 

“Not like he didn’t post a story captioned ‘I’m single and ready to mingle again!’” Seol-in defended you, shamelessly scaring his fans off with a thugged appearance. You nudge her, making her stop. 

It was just another day of being you. 

D-104.

“Code Blue, Code Blue! Room 316, Female, 21 years old. Code Blue, Code Blue! Room 316, Female, 21 years old…” You hear the speakers call out as everything follows is a slur, your eyes blurring as you struggle to keep sane. You don’t even feel like you were breathing. Were you? All you felt was pain. Excruciating pain the first few minutes and then you were numb. You were numb when nurses and doctors jumped restlessly on you to perform chest compressions. 

It only felt like yesterday when you were quietly sitting on all of your classes, 

It was only yesterday.

“Did you do anything that tired you out? How come you let it get this bad?” The familiar doctor you’d been seeing since you were a kid nags, shaking his head at you. 

“I didn’t.” You retort immediately, regretting it as the sudden jump made your chest tighten, making you grab it. Your doctor assists you back into your bed, snickering at you. 

“Well then, did you watch a sad movie? Felt too happy? Felt too excited? Surprised?” When the temporary pain slowly disappears, you avoid the doctor’s eyes as you mumble a small ‘no.’ “Y/n… We’ve talked about this…” 

“Am I not a person? Why am I not able to feel things as I want to?” You pout, but it was the same line you’ve always said since you were also a kid. And also, the very first question you’ve asked your doctor. When you catch a glimpse of his apologetic eyes, you grow uncomfortable. “I was kidding. I get it.” 

Your dad was watching you from afar, picking on his nails and was still until the doctor called him in. 

“Can I talk to you alone for a sec?” The doctor signals to your father, urging privacy which makes you curious. 

“I’m an adult,” You open, suddenly growing anxious at how your father and the doctor shared gazes. “Please say it in front of me,” 

D-101. 

As the clock strikes 12, you swallow the lump on your throat as the doctor clears his, asking your dad for one last confirmation before he drops the news. 

“As you can see, y/n is neither getting stable or better,” The doctor drops his head, unwilling to see your father’s heartbroken eyes and yours. “...only worse,” 

You heave a deep sigh, balancing your emotions out so as to not feel too sad about this and not to dwell on what’s to come next.

“Y/n… Doesn’t have much time left,” And there comes the shock. Maybe you shouldn’t have really known. If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t be too anxious about living just another day. Your dad weeps, holding your hand desperately as you both feel the world fall on you. “I’d say three months… or less,” The doctor falls his head in shame, pressing his lips together and avoiding both of your eyes. 

D-97. 

“You really want to do this?” Your father asks, bringing your bag to you. “Y/n… You don’t need to. We can travel where you want, eat what you want and do whatever you want.”

“Dad… I’d rather live with the time I have left as a normal person, as I had always done. Wherein I have to go to school on dreaded Mondays, feel happy it’s Friday, and enjoy my Saturdays with my friends or with you, along with Sundays. I’d be thankful to even have that, Dad.” You smile, holding your Dad’s shoulders and pulling him to a hug. “Thank you, Dad.” 

Your father holds his tears and proudly stands his guards on you. Nodding as he arranges your collar back into place and letting you go your way after a few sermons. 

“Y/n!” Seol-in welcomes you with open arms, snot running down her nose and tears out of her eyes. “Are you okay? Why did you even come here?!” She squeezes you into a hug, making you squirm and chuckle. 

“Hey, don’t be so dramatic now. As you can see, I’m okay. I’m good, I’m fine.” You explain, hitting your limbs to show her that you’re indeed thriving. 

She whines and pulls you into a hug again, and you just let her until she’s calmed down, walking to your first class.

“So, what did the doctor say?” 

“Hmm,” You hesitate, thinking whether to break the news or not. You opted it wasn’t the right setting. “Nothing new. I just had a burst out that’s why I had the attack. Sorry for worrying you,” You pout, clinging to her arm and changing to another topic as you found available seats.

She assures you and swears to look after you better as you wait for the class to start, your eyes roaming around to take in the sight. You act like it’s your last day. You wish you could be here for much longer. But you know you’d be taken any time from now on. 

Your breath stops exaggeratedly when you realize the available seat next to you was pulled to reveal Sunghoon sitting next to you uninterestedly, not batting you an eye. Seol-in nudges you knowing perfectly well how you’re not managing.

“Deep breaths, y/n! Control your heart!” Seol-in lightheartedly whispers, rubbing your back. You lean back at your seat to get a glance at Sunghoon, who only had eyes on his phone. You breathe through pursed lips, rubbing your chest as if it made a difference on your abnormally beating heart.

It’s just sitting next to you, what’s the big point?

See, the big point is, through the years you’d been blockmates with this man, fate had never ever brought you near each other even if you were given the smallest classrooms. So it was indeed a big deal that someone you’ve liked throughout the years was now beside you. 

Say, you’d be brazen enough to even claim this as a sign to finally get to talk to him. You’d always been the ambivert, so this time, it was time to bring out your extrovert-ness just to get close to him. 

Not going to hurt to try, eh?

“Hi Sunghoon,” You smile, fully facing him as you put your chin on your palm to lean on the table. He curiously, confusedly gives you a glance, blinking at you. “You look good today,” Your confidence was also a great shock to you, knowing full well that if it was the last-week-you that was in this situation, you wouldn’t have uttered even one word.  

“Y/n, you’re creeping me out.” Sunghoon mumbles, scooting away from you. You chuckle, shaking your hands before him.

“Sorry, I just wanted you to know.” Seol-in watches in horror, just as confused as Sunghoon. You fumble back on your seat after that, smiling at Seol-in and even chuckling at yourself for your unpredictableness. You think that was enough for today.

At least, if it were your last, you had the opportunity to make him feel appreciated in the most weird way, at a random time possible. 

Because come on, fuck it! Where your tomorrow isn’t even guaranteed, what more could you lose than regret?

D-94.

“Your partners are revealed in our respective group chats, so start immediately,” Your professor leaves after her last remarks, and all of you start to check your phones for your partners. You hear grunts and cheers, and as for you…

“Oh yeah!” You growl, raising your fist in the air as if you’ve just won the lottery. Everyone stops and grows quiet, looking at you horridly. “Oops, sorry.” You smile, your eyes searching for that one guy you heard grunting a while ago. “...Park Sunghoon!” You coo, making your way towards him cheekily. 

Sunghoon just looks in confusion, weirded out by how you were acting since two days ago. “Are you possessed? What is up to you these days? We’re never really close and talked so…” His face said it all, he was confused to his bones. 

“Is it bad that I wanted to be friends with you?” You invite yourself to the seat next to him, plopping. “It’s our last year in college, I want to be close to everyone!” 

“After all these years? How about no?” Sunghoon again, scoots further from you and starts skimming through his book, trying to get the project over with just ten minutes in from the second he read the instructions. 

“No? You don’t want to be friends?” You pout, confidence significantly decreasing… and increasing with your idea.

“Hmm, I don’t want to. So don’t waste your time,” Sunghoon sighs and continues with his work.

“If you don’t want to…” You mumble… scooting closer and in front of him to cover the book with your palm, getting his attention. You give him the cheekiest smile you can give, “Then do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

D-90.

“Then just give me one month! Be my boyfriend for a month! That’s it and I wouldn’t even go five meters close to a piece of your hair!” You argue, as if your deal offer was making sense. It had been one week since you have been offering a deal to Sunghoon, and not much like the first time he heard it– where his jaw dropped and sneered at you as if you had just lost your mind. Now, where you sit confidently against him as he quietly has his lunch, he doesn’t even spare you and your bullshit a glance. “Park Sunghoon!” You whine, throwing a fit. It gains a lot of attention including his fangirls who you genuinely heard growling, which made you fake a cough and glare at him. “I’m not done with you just yet,” You drop your hand on the table, making him groan and roll his eyes.

Seol-in watches how you trudge back to your shared table, scratching her head.

“Hey y/n, have you really really lost your mind?” She asks with such genuine voice and concern, grabbing your hand. “Why the hell are you asking Park Sunghoon out for a week already? That’s not you,” 

“It’s definitely me, Seol-in.” You chuckle, patting her hand. “And what’s so wrong about a girl asking a man out? Stop being prejudiced!” You take a spoonful of your food, watching Seol-in. “Just eat already,” 

“I just don’t get it. There’s something wrong,” She shakes her head but leaves it to you, knowing full well you know what you’re doing. “But no!” She exclaims, making you jump. “Just last week we were talking about how you’re not even that obsessed and how you’re so defensive about being one of his fangirls!” 

“But I did admit that I liked him,” You chuckle, proving your point.

“But! I don’t think it was enough that you ask him out! Above all that, when he’s fresh out of a break up!” You stop, letting Seol-in’s words sink in. She was right. Sunghoon was fresh out of a break up and you just had to add up to the girls jumping in on him. 

“Ah, I don’t know! I’ll do whatever,” You shake it off, continuing to munch on your food as Seol-in continues to berate you. 

D-80. 

“Sunghoon, I’m not saying this because I have a big self-esteem and ego but, I don’t think you notice this.” You flip your hair exaggeratedly, even though he wasn’t looking at you. You were at a quiet corner in the library, allegedly working on your project. “...but I’m a really good pick!” Sunghoon snorts and finally looks at you in amusement, and you straighten your posture as if you were in an interview.

“You? A good pick?” Sunghoon repeats, and you nod.

“I really am! I’m pretty, I have my acads with straight A’s, I have a good relationship with my family! What more can you ask for?” You arrogantly list out your pros, crossing your arms right after. 

“And your cons?” Sunghoon mimics your movement, as if trying to challenge you. 

“I don’t have one.” You avoid his eyes for a second, because if you listed that out too, it will outnumber your pros. “So please give me one month of your life,” You exaggerate, begging as you rub your palms together in front of him. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“I’m completely being sincere and serious, though.” You were close to whining once again, flapping your arms around. 

“You don’t look like it,” Sunghoon sighs and gets back to your project, possessing a small smirk that ticked you off. 

“Come on, Park Sunghoon!” 

“Y/n.” Sunghoon sternly stops your whining, looking straight into your eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but please don’t take it out on me. I’m not interested. If you keep doing this, it will grow on me that you’re taking advantage of my vulnerability since I was just out of a relationship and I don’t want to think that of you,” He explains with such a solemn face that you grow embarrassed of your actions immediately, shrinking on your seat. “I’m sorry but can we please proceed to the project now?” 

You harbor a pout and unintentionally have it until you were done, cleaning your things up. 

“Can you stay here for a bit? I’ll just go get something.” You leave Sunghoon before he could even say something, leaving your  things to assure him you were coming back. You only grab your phone and wallet, traveling to the closest cafe. When you travel back to the library, you catch a glimpse of Sunghoon through the large windows, legs impatiently bouncing as he looks around for you. 

“Okay. If he’s not for me then he’s not for me.” You mumble, sighing and proceeding to jog inside the library and go straight to the table. You put the cup of drink and slide it across the table, nodding at him. “Iced vanilla latte. Your favorite right? I’ve seen you order these a lot,” You heave a deep sigh. He raises an eyebrow before he takes it, “That’s not a bribe. That’s an apology gift.” Sunghoon takes a sip and confusingly looks up to you, “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention at all.” 

“Y/n,” Sunghoon starts but you cut him off with a pat on the shoulder, giving him a tight lipped smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Get home safely!” You get your things quickly and wave goodbye, getting your things and not giving him a chance to talk. 

Leaving Sunghoon with a bitter taste in his mouth and it’s definitely not because of the coffee.

D-76.

“Oh y/n, good thing you’re here,” Sunghoon starts, wanting to talk the heavy feeling in his chest out since the library incident. 

“Sunghoon! Don’t worry about it, I’ve finished everything on the project! We can pass it later already,” 

“That’s not it,” Sunghoon stops you by the arm but you look at your watch as if you were in a rush.

“Sorry, but I have to run. You can text me if you see any mistakes on my part, I’ll correct it immediately.” You apologize and Sunghoon lets you go and nods at you, thinking it wasn’t the right time yet to apologize if he had offended you. 

Sunghoon has been bearing it in his chest and mind that he shouldn’t have put you out like that, blaming his stress that was on its peak that day.

Heeseung chuckles as he looks at Sunghoon’s eyes which never leave your figure until it completely disappears, but having to opt not to say anything about it first.

D-72.

“Y/n!” Sunghoon shouts through the hallway, making you stop and hide your face. “Y/n!” He repeats, and you hear him run to chase you. You sigh, deciding to just face him instead. 

“Oh, Sunghoon,” You smile, turning to face him. “Do you need something?” Knowing you’ve completed your project with him and nothing more, so it was a given that you’re confused. He had clear intentions he didn’t want to be friends, so why does he keep chasing you down everywhere you go?

“Are you free for lunch?” He fumbles with the books in his hand, avoiding your eyes.

“I was going to go with Seol-in, as always,” You chuckle, “Why? Did we need to revise something in the project?” 

“Ah… no. But can we talk for a minute, then?” He lets out a small sigh,  hands already asking you to follow him in a space where nobody was. You nod hesitantly, just following him then.

“What is it? You sound serious,” You follow him to your now empty classroom, sitting on the seat out front. He leans on the table in front of it, and heaves another sigh. 

“I was trying to get a hold of you the past few days but you’ve been busy,” He finally lets out a chuckle, nodding at you. “I wanted to apologize about what I said in the library that time. I was out of line,” He admits his wrong immediately, smiling at you. 

You finally let out a sigh of relief, now knowing what was on his mind. 

“Sunghoon, why are you apologizing for that? I should be. I was the one out of line.” You assure him, shaking your hands in his face. “Do you know how I’ll feel if you apologize for something I did?” 

“No, no. It was just weighing my mind and I didn’t want you to think that I thought bad of you. You said that your intentions weren’t that so maybe I went off the wrong way how I said it.” He holds your hand to stop you from shaking it in front of him, feeling his warmth engulf your hands.

“Fine, fine. Then we’re even already. That will do it, won't it?” You smile at him, craning your neck until you get an answer for him. 

“I owe you a coffee. I’ll treat you next time,” He pats your hand, smiling back at you. 

“I don’t drink coffee, so there’s no need. Let’s just eat lunch and leave all this in the past, alright?” You realize he’s still holding your hand which makes you slowly take yours back, smiling and patting his shoulder once again. “Let’s go?” 

D-70. 

Sunghoon’s curiosity towards you grew and grew the moment your interactions blew less and less, only decreasing to hi’s and hello’s and his days were a lot bland without your yapping and blabbering. Even though you had only done this for a week, it had grown on him especially because you weren’t initially close at all. 

“Why does my friend look especially troubled today?” Heeseung drops his body towards the man, plopping beside him on the bean bag. “Something bothering you?”

“I don't think so,” But Sunghoon keeps on staring afar, unbothered to look at his concerned friend. 

Which is giving him a stink eye now.

“You know what, fine, don't tell me. Mister I keep everything to myself because I’m a cool guy and cool guys don't have problems,” Heeseung nags, mocking Sunghoon’s usual deadpanned face with a sneer. 

Sunghoon chuckles lowly and sighs, shaking his head at Heeseung.

“I’m just confused. That’s all.” He explains, making Heeseung look back at him in anticipation. A few quiet seconds pass and Heeseung sighs in frustration, throwing the pillow in Sunghoon’s chest.

“Oh come on! That’s it?! Tell me everything! You’re driving me crazy!” 

“What…” Sunghoon mumbles with a chuckle, looking at Heeseung losing his mind as he flaps his limbs around. “Okay, okay.” He deeply sighs again, playing with his fingers. “It’s about y/n.” 

“Finally! Wait, what?” Heeseung internally screams, but displays a face of confusion, raising his eyebrows at Sunghoon. “You’ve finally gotten rid of her within a week, what do you mean when you say it’s about y/n and that you’re confused?” 

Sunghoon clicks his tongue and props himself to look at Heeseung face to face, showing seriousness and his determined face to understand every bit of what he’s feeling now. 

“Exactly.” Sunghoon nods at Heeseung as if he’s waiting for an answer, and when he gets nothing, he nods again for Heeseung’s confirmation. 

“What do you want me to say, dumbass?” He throws a pillow right through Sunghoon’s head, and as he’d like to describe, so fucking frustrated.

“Stop hitting me! And I don’t know! That’s why I’m confused!” Sunghoon, also frustrated, has laid out his empty hands to Heeseung to show he’s got nothing to offer than that.

“I ought to just smack you in the fucking face, really.” Heeseung suppresses his annoyance and just massages his temples, rolling his eyes so hard he saw the back of his head. “Tell me something so I can say something too, you know,” 

“I just… I don’t know, Seung. I think it’s my fault too.” Sunghoon explains, “Just a few weeks ago, we started talking because of that damned project. Not even one week  in and she asks me to be his boyfriend. I decline. Also becoming her friend. And then I shoot her something offensive and air shifts and then suddenly she’s not talking to me anymore that much and I apologize and I don’t know, we’re friends?” He rambles on, and it takes a little more patience out of Heeseung to not pull his hair out. 

“So, what the fuck’s confusing?” Heeseung asks through gritted teeth. Admit it, dumbo! He thinks.

“Are we friends or not? Am I allowed to keep it casual and talk about random things with her or am I just supposed to smile and greet and walk off? That’s confusing.” As if a light bulb has just turned on inside his head, Sunghoon perks at the clear question that’s been allegedly bugging him. 

But on the other hand, oh he’s stupid-stupid. Heeseung thinks.

“Didn’t you decide to put it behind you? Then you could answer the question yourself, Hoon! You could come up to her casually and just whatever,” Heeseung still gives him a light piece of advice, knowing it’s not the right time to put mind into Sunghoon’s actions. 

“Maybe, I guess.” Sunghoon hesitantly nods, finally letting peace take over his mind and say fuck it. 

D-68.

“Seol-in, do you know what time Physics starts?” You randomly ask, at a random time in the middle of the day, in the middle of a random lunch, at a random table. 

“In twenty minutes,” A manly voice took over your random conversation, making you look up. You see Sunghoon and Heeseung gently placing their trays of food beside you and Seol-in, scrunching your forehead in confusion. “Sorry, were the seats taken?” 

“Absolutely not,” Seol-in answers, cheeks full of food but harboring the same expression as you. The two men nod and sit, starting with their food. She kicks your shin lightly below the table and as you shake your shoulders lightly, you just decide to continue with your food in silence.

“I’m sorry, did we scare you?” Heeseung chuckles, glancing at you. He was sitting diagonally in front of you, beside Seol-in. 

“Oh, no. You’re cool,” You chuckle as well and shake your hands in front of you, finishing your food just as they did. Sunghoon glances weirdly at you, seeing how well you blend in with people you don’t even really talk to, just like with him. “Were we weird?” You carry on with the conversation, eyes staying at Heeseung only. 

“We definitely felt your eyes on us,” Heeseung jokes around, and stands up the same time you do to return your trays. Seol-in and Sunghoon watch in horror how you both click, just like two peas in a pod. You and Heeseung both laugh when you realize it, going together to the booth to return your trays.

“Wow, did I move down y/n’s best friend list just like that?” Seol-in says as her eyes stay at the both of you walking away, the same Sunghoon was doing. 

“Same,” Sunghoon shakes his head in disapproval, going with Seol-in awkwardly to tail the both of you. 

It ends up as you and Heeseung share a light conversation, Seol-in and Sunghoon are quietly following. Sunghoon had a plan in mind but it was not this. And Heeseung knows that. So he coughs exaggeratedly, catching everyone’s attention. He shares a short look with Heeseung (a bit of a glare as for Sunghoon) and Heeseung makes up a not-so-obvious excuse to get him and Seol-in out of the picture. 

“Oh, Seol-in! I think we forgot to pay for our lunch a while ago,” Good going, Sunghoon thought. “We should head back,” Heeseung pulls a confused Seol-in by the arm.

“I did, though?” Seol-in furrows her brows and rethinks whether she did or not, and she was positive she did.

“We should go to be sure. I didn’t see you pay a while ago,” 

“We can come with you,” You offer, but…

“No!” Sunghoon suddenly shouts, making you jump in surprise, glaring at him. 

“Why?” You question. Are you and Seol-in are the only ones so fucking confused right now? 

“We’re going to be late.” Sunghoon excuses, eyes looking around in hysteria.

“I think we have enough time,” 

“Just go, y/n. Save us some seats,” Seol-in finally jumps on the train, feeling too anxious about leaving the cafeteria without paying for what she ate. 

You hesitantly nod, urging Sunghoon to come, which finally made him sigh in relief. 

“Are you guys okay?” You ask, sitting on your usual seat while Sunghoon took the one next to you. You both save Seol-in and Heeseung seats beside you. “And now you’re also sitting with us?”

“Weren’t we always?” He shakily chuckles, and your suspicion grows bigger. 

“Did you do something wrong to us, perhaps?” 

“My god, no.” He lets out a hearty laugh at your joke, but when he faces you, he was shocked at how serious you were. “No, y/n. Can’t we sit with you guys? We’ll leave if you say so,” 

“No, not that. It’s just that it’s so random. How come?” You rhetorically ask, preparing your materials for the class. You decided to leave it at that, but Sunghoon isn’t done just yet. After a few minutes of dead air, he clears his throat. 

“Do you have classes tomorrow?” He, at last, asks what he has been meaning to since a while ago (read: two days ago, when realizations have hit), and you blink at him. 

“No, why?”

“Plans?” 

“Nope. Stay at home, maybe. Why?” 

“I was thinking…” 

“What?” 

“I, uh…”

“Sunghoon, what?” 

“Oh my god, I can’t.” 

“What, fucking hell, spit it out!” 

“If you’d want to go get dinner with me tomorrow, gosh! I didn’t know you’re so vulgar with your friends!” Sunghoon unintentionally bursts out after the conversation rally, making heads turn. You blink at him once again, and he shrinks in shame. “Sorry,” 

“I thought you didn’t want to be friends?” Out of all the things he said, that’s what you asked. Sunghoon blinks as well, regaining his composure.

“That’s going to cost me a wonderful person now, am I?”

And that one random day, became one day that you treasured more than the others.

D-67.

“You’re supposed to rest, y/n,” Your dad stops you from preparing your outfit to leave, shaking his head. “I told you, if you’re going to go to school five to six times a week, then the last day was supposed to be a rest day.” 

“Dad, it’s just dinner…” You whine, pouting. “Besides, I know what to do and not to do.” 

“Seol-in wouldn’t be there to look over you,” 

“Dad, I’m not some kid needing for someone to look over me,” You sigh, still picking out your clothes anyway. “I know that you’re worried, Dad. Do you think I’ll do something that I know you’ll get more worried about?” 

And when you say that, your father surrenders with a breath of hesitation, and of course, reminding you of some things.

“This wouldn’t be a normal occasion, would it?” He asks to make sure before you head out, holding your arm. You smile at him and nod, “Okay. Be safe, darling. Text me updates and lastly, home at 10PM, sharp. No more, can less.” You chuckle, nodding again before hugging him and taking your leave. 

The diner Sunghoon picked was just a few blocks away, so you opted to walk since you had time to spare. And on the way there, you can’t seem to keep the smile inside. 

“If I didn’t even know I could die any day now, I wouldn’t even think this night would be possible.” You whisper to yourself, pressing your lips together to a tight smile. “Thank you for giving me another day,” You inhale sharply, closing your eyes for a moment and letting your head fall back to look at the night sky. 

Meanwhile, Sunghoon sees you standing there with your neck (almost) broken to take in much of the night sky. He chuckles, jogging to you and from his height, could look down straight at you from your position. 

“Oh, you’re here,” You laugh, your view of him upside down but you could recognize the face in any form or shape. Well, you’ve been in love with him for years. “Sorry, the sky was so pretty,”

Sunghoon looks up as well but the sky bore no anything, just pitch black with not even signs of dark clouds forming, the moon nowhere to be seen and stars hiding due to the city lights. His face contorts into confusion, thinking what made you say that such a pitch black-ed sky was pretty enough for you to thank the lords for another day.

“Let’s head in?” You ask, and when you’ve finally settled to a table with your food, you start to munch down. “What’s with dinner?” 

“Huh?” Sunghoon asks, covering his full mouth. 

“What’s with dinner? Why not breakfast or lunch or just the afternoon out? Are you planning on murdering me on the way back so there’s less people?” Your joke makes Sunghoon choke on his food and you laugh wholeheartedly, even grabbing your chest to keep it on radar. 

“Are you kidding me? Do I look like such a person?” Sunghoon drinks his soda and pats his chest to calm down, glaring at you. 

“I was kidding, loosen up. You just looked nervous, that’s all. That’s why I joked around.” You smiled cheekily, scrunching your nose at him. “Unless…” 

“Hey!” Sunghoon stops you and you have another round of laughter, shaking your spoon at him. He shakes you off and when you’ve calmed down, “I just thought breakfast would seem too eager, a lunch too usual, an afternoon out with what? Cafe’s? When you don’t even drink coffee?”

Your movements slow when you hear that, hearing your own heartbeat right in your ears. You take in a whole two breaths to calm down, even swallowing the non-existent lump on your throat.

“You remember that?” 

“You said that like, four days ago. I’m not that stupid,” He shakes it off as if it wasn’t a big deal for him to remember, but as you dwell on it, you only said that like it was a passing sentence, just one of the many you’ve dropped that day. “Did I remember wrong?” He stops eating and looks at you with wide eyes, anxiety evident in it. 

You chuckle, shaking your head. “No, you absolutely remembered right,” You finally continue eating as he sighs in relief, delving into his own food. 

“Why don’t you drink coffee though? I think you’re the first one I know that doesn’t,” 

“Ah…” You hesitate whether to tell him or not, so to not ruin the mood, you just carry on with no intentions of telling him. “Just don’t like the bitter taste,” 

Sunghoon nods in approval, and the dinner continues with light conversations and hearty laughs, clueless about the night deepening outside the windows. 

“Thank you for tonight, Sunghoon. I don’t know what’s gotten to you for you to suddenly offer dinner but it sure did make my night,” You chuckle, waving goodbye as you stood right in front of your porch. “You should go, be safe. Text me when you arrive so I know and that I wouldn’t be suspected for murder if you’re found dead,” 

“Hey, knock on wood!” He points and whines at you, but soon a chuckle still leaves his lips. 

“Fine, fine.” You coo him, knocking on the wood on your porch and then patting him on the shoulder. “You should really go now,”

“You head in first. I’ll go when I see you come in safely,” He nods at you, smiling. “Thank you as well, y/n.” 

You smile, and you think you won’t stop pushing and pulling if you don’t put a stop to it now, chuckling, nodding then finally turning your back at him.

“Uh, y/n,” He calls out once again and you turn curiously, raising your brows. Sunghoon looks fidgety, unable to meet your eyes and chest heaving up and down heavily. 

“What is it? Are you okay?” You step closer, taking a good look at him. “Do you want to head in for a glass of water first? You’re going to drive. I can’t let you leave like that.” 

“Your offer.” He starts, grabbing your arm and then finally staring right through your eyes softly. 

“Huh?”

“Can I still take it?” 

“What the hell are you on about?” 

“Being your boyfriend for a month. You offered that to me a few weeks ago, right? Can I still take it?” He speaks faster than normal, but it was all clear to you. It rang through your ears along with the beat of your heart, through the gush of the wind, and the almost inevident, almost whispers of the neighbors enjoying the last hours of the night in their own homes. “Can I still be your boyfriend for a month?” 

D-65. 

To taste your own medicine was a punch in the face. You’ll never even guess or dare think that you’ll be able to get this far. You knew your idea was ridiculous, you didn’t know that Sunghoon agreeing to it would be more ridiculous. You can’t even explain into words how your life has been quiet, full of restraints due to your illness, and now, you’ve gotten yourself into so much trouble that you can’t back down. 

Because why the hell was Sunghoon standing on your porch at five fifty-six in the morning? 

“Who’s this gentleman?” Your father, who has, let me emphasize, had never ever missed a day driving you to school, questioned when he got surprised after opening the door. He eyes you after Sunghoon eyes you, waiting for an answer. 

“Ah…” You chuckle nervously, scratching your head. “Sunghoon, my dad. Dad…” You crane your neck, thinking of an introduction. “Sunghoon, just a good friend.” You give your dad a tight-lipped smile, and then turn to Sunghoon. “What are you doing here, good friend?” You give him a glare secretly, turning away from your dad. 

“Sir, good morning.” Sunghoon smiles and reaches his hand out for your dad to shake, “I’m here this early in the morning to get your permission, sir.” Your dad cranes his neck curiously, shooting you and Sunghoon curious looks. “I wanted to take your daughter to school today, so I waited for an hour,” He smiles, and your dad shakes his hand. 

Your dad takes a minute to think and answer, because all he knew to do in the morning was to take you to school because of his overflowing concern for his only daughter. 

“I’ll get her there safe and sound, you don’t need to worry,” He claps his hand to show his car, smiling nervously. You stood there unmoving, staring at Sunghoon weirdly. 

“Dad, it’s okay, he was the one who drove me home last night,” Your dad grows suspicious and you regret saying that, making his eyebrows meet in the middle.

“You’re the one my daughter met alone last night for dinner?” You sigh in irritation, massaging your temples. 

Sunghoon nods and his hands come together to fumble badly, and you can see it glistening from the formed sweat of nervousness. 

“Okay, then,” Your head whips to your dad in question, confirming it. “I’ll pick you up later,” 

“Uh, actually, I can do that too,” Sunghoon smiles at your father, this time around unnerved, “And I can do that for the following days as well,”

Your jaw drops to the floor and you internally sigh, eyes closing tightly. You never knew the game you started was this dangerous.

“Your father agreed.” Sunghoon smiles but keeps his eyes on the road, giddy. 

“When you corner him like that he’ll have no choice but to, am I wrong?” You sigh, “Sunghoon, you don't need to.”

“I want to. Plus, it's just for a month.” He glances at you and then his eyes were back on the road, but you don't meet his eyes. “What's wrong? Didn't you ask for this?” He chuckles nervously, afraid that he might've crossed the line. “Are you uncomfortable?”

“No, I’m worried that you're uncomfortable.” You quickly retort, perking on your seat. “I know I said things, asked things. It was ridiculous, Sunghoon. You know it is, so why are you doing this?”

Sunghoon puts his car on hazard, unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to look at you. 

“You know what, it is ridiculous.” He chuckles, “But it was interesting. You're interesting. How come you only want the Park Sunghoon for a month, right?” He quotes and unquotes, “I want it. I want to do it because you're interesting. No jokes included.” He grabs your hand and pats it. And you share a thoughtful gaze right through each other's orbs for a minute before he sharply inhales. “Now, we have to get going before we're late for anatomy,” 

D+1.

“Your lunch,” Before you even get to order your lunch for today with Seol-in, Sunghoon places a iunchbox neatly in front of you. “I prepared those,” You look at him curiously and he nods at you to open it, and it reveals your usual palate and diet, fruits and vegetables. It takes you a while how Sunghoon had known you always ate these, and once again, your heartbeat rang through your ears. You were glowing faint red, and it makes Sunghoon nervous. “Why? Don't you like these?”

“How did you know?” Seol-in raises her eyebrows at Sunghoon, and he immediately refutes.

“No… I just… uh, always saw her with these, so I assumed…” He mumbles bad, and Heeseung breaks into laughter. Sunghoon looks at him with a look of help, trying to excuse himself out of the situation.

“I think everybody noticed, y/n. Don't think too much of it,” Heeseung shakes his hand in front of you lightheartedly, and you just nod.

“Thank you,” You smile at Sunghoon, preparing to dive in to the lunch he gave you. Sunghoon plops in front of you as Seol-in and Heeseung goes off to buy their own. You look at Sunghoon who opens his own, and your mouth agape when you realize you have the same content. He notices this and smiles at you, patting your hand. 

“I just thought you'd feel pressured and uncomfortable eating that alone,” He explains, and then takes a bite of his cucumber.

“Thank you, Sunghoon.” And words were never enough to express how grateful and seen you were. Especially from the man himself you liked. Especially when you take a greater look of the fruits and vegetables so delicately cut with others cut like flowers and others just with design. 

D+3.

“Are you free the day after tomorrow?” Sunghoon grabs the books you hugged as you made your way to his car, the sun setting which signaled your dismissal.

“I have one class in the morning and nothing to do after that, why?” 

“Perfect. Let’s go on a date.” 

You stop on your tracks, clutching your chest as you numbered your breaths, even wobbling in your position. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Sunghoon runs up to you and grabs your arms, crouching down to see you better. Your eyes meet and you nod, giving him a small smile. “Don’t scare me like that,” 

“Then don’t say things like that out of the blue,” You lightly hit his shoulder, chuckling. Your chest still stings but mildly bearable, so you start walking slowly and Sunghoon matches your pace. 

“Okay, sorry. I’ll ask your dad for permission later though.” He giggles, and he opens the passenger’s seat door for you and even covers the top of the lining of the car to protect your head from bumping on it. “Where do you want to go? Amusement parks? Zoo? Aquarium? Tell me,” 

Sunghoon pops in his seat and starts his car, oftenly glancing at you. 

“Anywhere with you, Hoon.”

D+4.

“Surprise!” You habitually grab your chest to calm yourself down, grabbing onto the next thing, rather person, next to you, Seol-in. She reaches for your back and rubs it looking at you worriedly. “Sorry, are you bad with surprises?” Sunghoon grabs your arm to properly stand you up, scratching his head. 

Seol-in almost lectures him but you stop her, shaking your head.

“She is. Very bad. So don’t do it again,” Seol-in shortens, and then looks at you worriedly again. You squeeze her arm to assure her, giving her a side hug before bidding goodbye.

“Sorry,” Sunghoon gets your bag slinging from your shoulders and slings it to his. “I didn’t know.” 

“That’s okay.” You smile at him. “You didn’t know.” 

D+6.

Sunghoon, with his arm held out, bore a bouquet of sweet heliotropes, your favorite flower.

“Oh my god,” You exclaim, gently getting it off his hands for you to admire more closely. “Heliotropes?” Of course you’ll recognize your favorite flowers. But just to be sure, you turn to Sunghoon and he nods with a smile. “These are so hard to find! Where did you get this?” 

“I have my ways,” And Sunghoon won’t just simply admit he drove fifty miles away just for the flowers you liked, checking flower shop by flower shop to see if it had them. 

“And you knew these were my favorite, how?” You didn’t bat him a glance with your eyes glued on the flowers, touching every flower with your index finger gently. 

“I asked Seol-in,” Sunghoon admires how you admired the flowers, and how you were so casually dressed (which he had reminded you about) but so enticing to see. Everything around you and you screamed exuberantly, and Sunghoon was quite regretful how he had managed to ignore and have unknown of your existence after all these years. Yet, he was also quite happy. He's a lucky man who’s got to experience it now, thinking, it’s better late than never.

“So, where are we going?” 

“That’s a secret.” Sunghoon teasingly raises his eyebrows repeatedly before honking courtesy to your dad waiting for him to drive off, worry unetched from his face unlike the first time Sunghoon drove you off.  “You can guess though. I’ll tell you if you’re right.” 

“That throws excitement out of the bus.” You shake your head. “But the aquarium. I love fishes and maybe Seol-in told you that too,” He laughs out loud when you guess anyway, making you giggle. 

“I wouldn’t tell. It’ll throw excitement out of the bus,” Sunghoon quotes you, booping your nose for a second before turning back to face the road again. “Brace yourself. It’s going to be quite a long ride.” 

You nod curiously, thinking of places where you can go out of the radar until you’ve drifted off to sleep. 

You’re awoken with your seat leaned back, seatbelt undone and Sunghoon’s jacket draped over your body. You quickly rise and look for Sunghoon beside you, but he isn't there. Only do you take a good look outside, and your jaw drops open. 

“Oh my god,” It feels like you’re in a story book of a fairytale, feeling every step of yours slowly and every second in time reeling in. “Sunghoon…” You step closer to Sunghoon, back on you as he admires the view in front of you. 

The soft grass tickled your legs and Sunghoon’s hand slowly warmed your hand as he held you tight beside him, the breeze passing through you as you held onto Sunghoon’s jacket on your body with your other, and the amazingly breathtaking view of the almost grassy volcano in front of you. It emitted a picture-perfect scene that you thank the gods for a perfect day that the clouds did not cover almost half of it, fog forming on top of it that it was just so immaculate to the eyes. 

“Do you like it?” Sunghoon turns to you like the view in front of him wasn’t enough he had to turn to you.

“...Like it?” You were able to utter out, head turning to him as your eyes followed. “I love it so much that I can’t… breathe, Sunghoon.” You were holding your tears, unable to grasp your chest to stabilize your breathing because of your busy hands.

Sunghoon just laughs and takes it as a light joke, pressing his lips and grabbing your shoulders softly to turn you to face him. He stares at you for a few more moments before his hands drop to hold yours, rubbing it with his thumb. 

“Sunghoon… I can’t breathe,” Your tears finally left your eyes, seeming never ending as you feel everything you needed to feel a little… more. Your blood rushing, the goosebumps you’re having a little too uncomfortable to have, the grass now too prickly to your skin, your tears a bit more wet, breeze too cold for your liking, his palms too warm and rough from the calluses he had, your heart thumping a little too hard and his eyes a little less intimidating… in time which is the one that served as your oxygen that calms you down. So you tug his hands softly and swiftly bring your arms around his shoulders, leaning in for a hug. “Thank you, Sunghoon. It’s beautiful.” 

Sunghoon smiles as he brings his arms up to hug you back, feeling his hand rub your back to calm you down.

“I didn’t even dare think I’d see this up close this lifetime,” You explain, smiling at him with your face damp with tears. “Thank you, Sunghoon. I don’t think I’ll ever say those words enough.” 

Sunghoon sighs in relief and holds your hand, smugly turning to the view in front of him and so do you. 

“Well, aren't Seol-in and your dad such great sources? I think I’m getting to know you half better because of them,” He chuckles, and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion.

“Dad told you about here?” 

“He did. I asked. He said he isn’t able to get you here because he was too much of a coward to do so, which I have no idea why he said that.” He shrugs, and you hold your head down. You knew your father was afraid that you were going to feel extreme emotions just like how you did a few minutes ago, and that he would absolutely have no idea what to do if it happens. So he just avoids it and decides to never bring you here himself. 

It wasn’t on his year's bingo card for Sunghoon to show up and do everything with you that he was scared to do. You know that he probably thinks— if he didn’t know you were sick, will he be able to do the things Sunghoon is able to do for you, for his only daughter? Will he be able to take you to places you liked, wanted to go, let you eat whatever you wanted to, let you do whatever you wanted to do? 

If he had the choice, he would let you. But he doesn’t. And you don’t. 

“What are you thinking so deeply about?” Sunghoon slightly shakes your intertwined hands, getting your attention from the scenery before you. 

“How I should relieve this view every morning. So I’m memorizing every bit like a painting,” You explain, nudging his side.

“Shouldn’t you be getting me in the view then?” He shakes your hand off softly before he poses in front of you cheekily, striking random ones which make you laugh. “Your handsome boyfriend brought you here, so—”

“I already memorized each of your features, Sunghoon. You don’t need to do that,” You grab his hand to hold once again, and this time around, it was Sunghoon’s turn to feel flustered. “Oh, you’re getting red!” You point at his face, and it makes you hold your tummy to laugh aloud. Sunghoon turns around with ihs back on you to compose himself, feeling blood stay in his face and ears for a good half an hour every time he remembers what you said. 

—

“Is that a church? Can we drop by for a second?” You turn to Sunghoon, who instantly nods at you. “You can stay here if you want. I’ll be here in a flash.”

“It’s okay, I’ll come with.” Sunghoon turns the engine off and heads out to open your door as you prepare your bag once again, thanking him after you made your way out and habitually intertwining your hands. 

There was no mass ceremony so there were less people inside, immediately finding a spot to sit on and pray silently.

You put your hands together and close your eyes, whispering your prayers silently. After a few minutes, you inhale sharply and exhale deeply, opening your eyes after it. 

“What were you praying so intently for?” Sunghoon asks, brushing the stray hair behind your ear.

“For giving me another day. And with you,” You smile at him, squeezing his hand. “You? Did you pray for anything or you just watched me with those eyes?” You nod at him and pointed out how you felt his sweet eyes on you even with your eyes closed.

“I made a promise that I’ll always find a way to you since you seem so close to Him,” Sunghoon rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, playfully raising his eyebrows at you. “And since you thanked him for giving you another day, I thanked him for letting me have you.” 

“Liar. I didn’t even see you close your eyes for a second,” 

“You don’t need to close your eyes to pray!” 

“Stop lying in front of the church, Sunghoon,” 

D+12.

Sunghoon twists and turns in his seat to catch a glimpse of you, but you were nowhere to be found. Neither was your loud bestfriend. It was so bad that he had been kicked out of his first class that he was taking with you, checking and checking his phone if you had sent any text that you were going to skip class today. There was none. 

“Maybe she just forgot. For now, focus on your next class,” Heeseung pats his friend’s shoulder, growing concerned not only for his friend but also for you. 

”Y/n never forgets to update me, Heeseung.” Sunghoon’s leg was continuously bouncing in nervousness, “Do you think she’s sick? Should I go visit her? Should I go to their house later?” His grip on his phone was deathly, and Heeseung could feel it through his white knuckles.

Heeseung sighs and gets his phone from him, and shakes his head. 

“Let’s just go find Seol-in first and ask her. We’ve got our last class with her so maybe she knows. It’ll be dark by then. So if we still don’t know until tomorrow, then call her dad.” Heeseung talks him out of it and assures him temporarily for the day. 

It’s okay, he thinks. At least he knows you didn’t fight and ended the day before with bad terms. 

The day ended without him having to see Seol-in to ask where you are, the loud friend being absent as well. 

D+13

Sunghoon now can’t stay still and cannot be brainwashed by Heeseung now that you’re not attending school the second day around. You haven’t contacted him at all and he grows scared whether everything was just a fever dream he had, itching to go to your house when he gets a glimpse of your friend scrambling to get her things in a rush and go home. 

“Seol-in, Seol-in!” He shouts through the hallway, but Seol-in feigns ignorance and goes her way quickly. But Sunghoon was too worried that he pushes through the crowd to catch Seol-in by the arm. 

“Seol-in. Do you have any idea what the fuck y/n has been up to? She’s not answering my calls,” Sunghoon turns Seol-in who had a tight smile on, itching to leave right that second. “Her dad, too.” 

“Ah… I don’t know…” Seol-in shakes her head, “Maybe they went on a vacation?” 

“And you think she forgot to tell me?” Sunghoon was now fuming, his grip on Seol-in arm tightening for her to squirm.

“Sunghoon, you’re hurting Seol-in,” Heeseung stops him and yanks his arm away from Seol-in. “Could you please just tell y/n to talk to Sunghoon if you got some kind of contact with her? Please,” 

“I will. Don’t worry. I have to go,” Seol-in nods at them before she scurries off, heading straight to your house to help around. 

You were on a bed rest for the whole day, wrapped in your soft sheets with people seemingly pushing past you and tending to you every second you could count, patting your sweat away, fanning you, and asking you every possible minute if you were okay. 

“Y/n! Are you okay now?!” Seol-in bursts through the door as he pouts at you looking at your state, plopping on your side to give you a hug.

“I can’t breathe enough because of these sheets suffocating me. Get off,” You chuckle, pushing her off. “Could you take my mask off please,” You groan at Seol-in and she shakes her head at you, tightening your oxygen mask on your head. “Oh please, I’m over the attack now. Just get it off,” Seol-in hesitantly takes it off and fans you and you immediately breathe in comfortably, mumbling a small thanks.

After briefing you about your missed activities, she sighs and packs her notebooks back to her bag, preparing to leave. 

“Say it. You’ve been keeping it all night.” You poke her sides, making her glare at you. 

“Sunghoon. You know he’s worried.” 

“Oh is he now?” You steady your breathing, swallowing the lump on your throat. 

“Send him a short text. He almost ripped me to pieces asking where you were a while ago.” You sigh and smile reluctantly, nodding. You bid her goodbye after it and as the door closes after her, it opens once again.

“Dad.” You smile, almost putting your oxygen mask back before he shakes his hand. 

“If you’re okay then you don’t need to put it back on,” He chuckles, then busies himself with your bedside table. “Do you need anything, perhaps?” Your dad slowly takes a seat beside you where Seol-in was, tucking you properly in your sheets once more. When he sees you shake your head, it takes more minutes for him to start another conversation. “Sunghoon… my dear, he still doesn’t know?” 

You sigh for the nth time, knowing where this conversation might end just well. 

“He doesn’t need to know, dad.” You give him a tight smile, fiddling with your fingers. “I don’t see the reason why I should tell him.” 

“Dear… He’s your beloved, isn’t he?” He takes your hand to stop you from wounding it, patting it. “I think it will be best if he knows. So you can cherish more of your time together.” 

“Dad.” You stop him from going further, shaking your head. “I am cherishing it. But I can’t be greedy, can I? I want to… let him carry on without thinking about me.” Your dad nods not in agreement but for the sake of ending the conversation he started, letting you have the last word. 

If you think that’s what’s best for the both of you, then that’s that. 

D+15

“Y/n!” Sunghoon runs to you with such worry, grabbing your shoulders and looking everywhere in your body to see if you were hurt. To him, you absolutely looked pretty, yes, again, ever did you do look, but you were noticeably paler, skinnier, and black bags rested under your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Sunghoon, hi.” You smile cheekily, clinging to his arm. “Of course I am, do I look like I’m not?” Of course you knew you looked different day by day.

“What the hell happened? How come I wasn’t able to contact you or your dad? When I went to your house, your housekeeper said that you weren’t around! Seol-in doesn’t even know where you were as well!” Sunghoon softly shakes you off his arm, taking another closer look at you with furrowed eyebrows. 

You chuckle, letting him do whatever he wants as you straighten his eyebrows out, to un-forrow it. 

“Please don’t be mad. There was just an emergency we had to go to, and we didn’t have the time for our phones. I’m sorry,” You mumble, smiling at him. 

Sunghoon sighs in defeat as finally all the concern left his body, but also the energy he had for today. Everything he needed was right in front of him, and classes weren't in his choices to enjoy today since you were finally back in his arms where you rightfully were.

“That’s okay, you can make it up to me today,” Sunghoon slyly smiles at you and knowing him, an idea was brewing inside his mind right that moment. 

“What the hell are you thinking of doing, Hoon?” You chuckle, poking his dimple that was showing. 

“Let’s skip classes.” 

D+17

“Heeseung, hi.” You knock on the door of their classroom hideout, peeking inside.

“Oh, y/n!” He jumps out of his beanbag, welcoming you in. “What brings you here?” He rubs his palm against his pants and tucks it in his behind pockets. 

“I was wondering where Sunghoon was and if you knew. We shared a class just now but he wasn’t there and it wasn’t like him to skip without telling me…” You embarrassingly shifted around and let your eyes stay on the ground.

“Ah… Uh…” Heeseung scratches his head and is hesitant to tell you anything, but he does anyway. “He went to the hospital.”

“What? Why? Is he hurt?” You suddenly meet his eyes but he immediately calms you down, shaking his head. 

“Don’t worry! He’s not hurt or anything, he was just asked to visit someone there. He’ll be around tomorrow, I guess.” Heeseung smiles at you assuringly before you excuse yourself, sending him a quick text to stay wherever he was. 

D+18

He wasn’t around unlike what Heeseung had said. And you were growing worried. 

You think, was this how Sunghoon worried over you when you were barely to be contacted and no one he knew where you were?

“Stop worrying so much, y/n…” Seol-in stops your leg from bouncing and asks you to calm your breathing. You follow her lead, nodding at her. “Didn’t Heeseung say he was only visiting someone? And didn’t Sunghoon send you a text saying not to worry? So don’t. Y/n…” Seol-in suppresses her own concern about you and tries to talk you out of it. “...you’re getting weaker day by day. Can’t you just… stay at home now? And about Sunghoon…” 

“Seol-in,” You voice out, “I’m okay. I know when I should be staying at home.” You smile at her, and tears leave her eyes at the sudden realization of things. Of how you were slowly, perfectly, surely of living the last of your best lives, letting you do whatever you want because she knows that you will know for sure what to do in any given situation. 

She trusts you over herself. 

D+19

“Sunghoon’s still not around?” Your eyes were busy as you looked around the classroom, not seeing the pretty head you have always admired from afar. 

“I guess…” You mumble, pouting. Your phone buzzes and you read the message sent to you almost too immediately, pout only growing worse at the text you received. “He said he’ll stay in the hospital for today too…” 

You suck it up and force a smile, sending him a text back and putting your phone down. 

Suddenly, your head grows heavy and your visions double and blur, feeling your body fall weak and harshly to the ground with a commotion. Before you black out completely, you hear Seol-in’s desperate cries for you and for help.

—

Your eyes twitch uncomfortably when you open it slightly to a bright room, feeling your breathing cycle once again almost too much. You remove your oxygen mask and realize where you were, at the campus clinic with Seol-in and Heeseung beside you.

“Oh… I must’ve been fatigued last night…” You excuse, smiling at Heeseung. But he doesn’t budge, the same worried face as Seol-in etched on his face. “What? First time seeing a grown woman faint?” You joke around, and Seol-in bursts into tears once again.

“I know already, y/n, you can stop pretending,” Heeseung mumbles softly, gaining you an apologetic face afterward. You glance at Seol-in, sighing. 

At this very moment, like with any other person who suddenly knows your condition, is the very moment and only moment you don’t know what to do.

What, are you supposed to console other people about yourself having a terminal condition?

“Heeseung, please don’t tell Sunghoon.” Heeseung didn’t need any more explanation than that. If you didn’t want him to know, then it’s not his place to tell so. And suddenly for Heeseung, everything clicks.

From how you’re suddenly asking Sunghoon to be your boyfriend, and apart from all that, only for a month, to how you’re drastically changing which he didn’t pay no mind at all unless Sunghoon has taken notice of it, and why you were out of Sunghoon’s, or any other’s radar for almost three days last week. 

So he just nods, because that’s what you needed right now. For everyone to just do what you say, do what you want. As long as Sunghoon is kept in the dark of your condition. 

D+20

“Y/n, can we go somewhere?” Heeseung offers, opening his car for you to ride on. You curiously just followed his lead, staying quiet throughout the ride as you stared outside and watched the sun set. 

“Why? Is someone hurt? Are you hurt?” You question, unbuckling your seatbelt. Heeseung stays quiet but leads you to a ward, opening it to reveal a woman in her early twenties, back of her skull facing towards you so you had no idea who she was. 

Heeseung lets you in as you slowly and unsurely move to the side to see who she was.

“Chung-ah…” You mumble, and your eyes blink rapidly. 

Chung-ah doesn’t look like what she always did, smiling and healthily making her way around the campus with a bright energy. On the hospital bed, tubes were connected throughout her body and ventilations were even needed to help her breathe continuously. 

“Why…” Your chest was breathing heavily and you were trying hard to stabilize it, but tears were already forming in your eyes as you put two and two together. 

“She was the reason why Sunghoon had been skipping his classes, y/n.” Heeseung explains calmly, already feeling apologetic toward you. Because it wasn’t right.

Although you and Sunghoon had agreed to only be together for a month, it wasn’t right for Sunghoon to be hiding the fact that he was visiting and taking care of his ex-girlfriend for days now, and keeping it from you even though she was sick.

Especially when you were fighting your own battles too. And with that, alone. 

“This is why… she broke up with him.” You conclude, and you finally let out a sob, waking the said character up groggily. 

“Y/n…” She mumbles through the mask, trying to force herself to smile. “It’s nice to meet you. It’s a shame we didn’t meet any sooner,” She managed to voice out, having heavy breaths between words to keep up with her own sentences. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you all confused about Sunghoon again. I can see he’s happier now… but my mom…” 

“Chung-ah…” You call for her to stop, followed by your sobs and your shaking of head. To think that they broke up only because Chung-ah didn’t want him to be heart broken by the fact that she’s merely holding on to life, and the only thing, only one that can lengthen her life, was to be kept happy by the people she loves. 

Just like you, she didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable with her just because she was. She didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable just for her to selfishly wake up in the morning for another day. She didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable staying by her side just for her to simply live.

You didn’t want Sunghoon to be miserable just for you to selfishly leave him alone in the end, after all. 

Heeseung follows you out of the room as you clench your chest that bore so much pain for the decision you had to make, uncontrollably sobbing and continuously wiping endless tears from your face. You had to hold on to life to the wall beside you to keep you standing, audibly and physically showing your pain and your torment for everybody— Chung-ah, Sunghoon, and for yourself too. 

“Y/n?” You hear Sunghoon’s voice from five meters away and you meet his eyes at once, his full of skepticism and distress and yours… unimaginable pain. And Sunghoon can see it.

He mumbles something under his breath before stomping his way to Heeseung behind you and striking him right on the face, making a commotion as you held him back. 

“Sunghoon, no, please…”

“Bastard! Why the hell would you bring y/n in here?!” Sunghoon, red from anger continued to dote on Heeseung who annoyingly smirked at him, keeping his composure. 

“What, were you planning on keeping it from y/n? For how long, you sick bastard? That’s your fucking ex inside! What about y/n?!” Heeseung fights back with a tight jaw, fist tightening holding back to landing a punch back on his friend.

“Heeseung…” 

“Fuck you, Heeseung! Chung-ah’s sick! Mind your fucking words you piece of shit!” Sunghoon attempts to give him another strike but you take a hold of his clenched fist, facing Sunghoon with tears still falling in your eyes.

“Sunghoon,”

“And y/n?” Heeseung starts, but you quickly turn to him to desperately ask him to stop there. Heeseung holds back and opts to leave the scene first, intentionally bumping Sunghoon’s shoulder harshly before he’s off.

“Sunghoon, can we talk?” You smile tightly, squeezing his hand assuringly. 

You’ve got nowhere else private to go but the chapel inside the hospital meant for desperate patients and families to turn towards in times of anguish, at this time in the night no one else able to use it to spend time with each other. 

You were just staring in front, sniffing here and there but no other words were undone between you, and beside you, unlike you, Sunghoon was looking down on his hands fiddling with each other. 

“Chung-ah broke up with you because she didn’t want you to feel miserable with her, Hoon.” You start, and as if on cue, tears started forming in your eyes once again. “Not because she didn’t love you anymore.” 

Sunghoon stays quiet and unmoving, and you take it as a signal to continue. 

“Chung-ah… I heard from Heeseung that she’s only to live more if she’s filled and surrounded by people she loves.” This time, you look up to stop your tears from falling, and from being a sobbing mess all over again. 

But it was too late.

“What are you trying to say, y/n?” Sunghoon softly mumbles, finally having the guts to face you. He grabs your hands and kneels before you, but you’re unable to meet his eyes. 

“I’m saying that… you… Park Sunghoon, should stay with her.” You smile between cries and sobs, and Sunghoon’s face drops in shock. And as unbelievable as it was, Sunghoon’s eyes were also sparkling in sadness when he heard what you were saying. 

“I don’t want to,” 

“Sunghoon… have you seen Chung-ah?”

“I don’t care! I don’t want to! The only reason why I’ve been staying here for days is because her mother was begging me, y/n. Please believe me,” 

“I do, will always do, Sunghoon.” Your lips were trembling from all the crying you were doing but you didn’t miss the way a tear fell down from Sunghoon’s eyes the first time, and then followed by many others. You raise your palm to his cheeks to wipe it away, shaking your head. 

“Then why are you doing this, y/n… Come on…” Sunghoon also shakes his head, his grip on your hand tightening but not enough to hurt you. Enough only to make you feel that the situation was hurting him too. 

“Because Chung-ah needs you and your love, too,” 

“But I don’t love her, y/n! I love you! I… love you, y/n. Don’t you love me too?” Sunghoon becomes weak before your eyes as his voice softens and tries his best reaching the sincerity to you and for you to embrace it.

“God,” You let out a genuine snort, throwing your head back and then looking at the said god in front of you, dropping a few more tears before cupping Sunghoon’s cheeks for his eyes to meet yours from his position. “I love you so much you have no idea, Park Sunghoon,” You smile at him, scrunching your nose at him. “...But our love is not enough this time, Sunghoon. Chung-ah needs you. It wouldn’t be hard to love someone the second time around, would it?” 

Sunghoon drops his head on your knees and you hear him sob helplessly, because he knows you were right. He knows that staying with you, is leaving Chung-ah good as dead. 

“Twenty days. You gave me twenty days full of nothing but your love that I promise to keep for my whole life, Sunghoon.” You rub his head sweetly before making him stretch his head out to meet your eyes once more, maybe, for the last time. “Twenty days for you, Sunghoon. You gave me twenty days from your lifetime… but you gave me forever with it,” You smile reassuringly, and then stare at each other’s eyes deeply. Crying for each other, sobs echoed through the chapel until you were finally ready to go. “I love you, Sunghoon. So much,”

You wiped Sunghoon’s tears away once more before leaving a kiss on his forehead, letting it stay there for a few seconds to cherish it, and then gently patting his cheeks before standing up and making your leave, hearing his desperate cries to try and make you stay.

But you don’t look back. 

God, you can’t look back because if you did, even to catch a glimpse of him for a second— to see him still kneeling in the same place, face damp and flushed from all of the crying he did, wailing as his hands can’t find the guts to hold your warm hands back to stay with him— you knew you were going to run back in his arms and tell him that you loved him, and that you needed him too. 

Because if you looked back and ran back to him, it was to end Chung-ah's life then and there.

D-64.

Sunghoon twists and turns in his seat, unable to stay still which inevitably wakes Chung-Ah up. She watches him for a few minutes until until he took notice, smiling apologetically 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Sunghoon asks, propping his elbows on his knees to be closer to Chung-ah. 

She takes a closer good look at Sunghoon— puffy red eyes, dark bags underneath, bruised lips from yesterday when he met up with Heeseung to ask about you and your whereabouts, only to be faced with no answer but a punch in the face, pale skin, paler than he had always been. He had also not been eating a lot, talking a lot— but he had obviously been trying his best to look and feel okay since he had someone beside him having it a lot worse than he could imagine.

“Sunghoon…” She smiles, asking for his hand to hold. For Sunghoon, it had felt like he was touched by a cold feather, 

“Sorry, I can’t sleep on the couch and I certainly cannot sleep here. I wanted to get some fresh air but I couldn’t leave you alone.” He explains, rubbing his thumb on her palm. Chung-ah lifelessly shakes her head, patting Sunghoon’s hand. “Do you need something? Water?” 

“No, Sunghoon. Thank you,” She mumbles out, chuckling. It takes Chung-ah a few minutes to gather her strength for talking, inhaling in and out as Sunghoon patiently waits. “You know… when y/n came here, I didn’t even get to say anything.” 

Sunghoon was taken aback, surprised that Chung-ah had opened this topic up and knowing that she heard everything outside her door that day. 

“...I didn’t tell her anything about us. Nor Heeseung— nor anyone in the school why I broke up with you. So I was surprised when… she knew.” Chung-ah closes her eyes to reminisce, remembering your cries and your eyes that had realized what was coming for her. It breaks her as well too, because she understood well just how you were feeling. “She instantly knew why I had to break it off with you, why I had to choose you and not me, for us.” 

“Chung-ah…” Sunghoon tried to stop her by shushing her, wanting for her to save up the energy for anything else, not by explaining to him. He had already understood you, and he had already accepted it. 

“I don’t know if it’s a girl to girl thing, but still I wanted to say this since I didn’t get to say it to her.” Chung-ah continues anyway, wanting to let Sunghoon hear what she wants to say.

“Chung-ah, you can stop. Save your energy. Y/n… she made me understand everything, so you don’t need to.” 

“No, Sunghoon. If you did, you’re not supposed to be here, then.” She smiles softly, and Sunghoon could feel how sincere she was so he just nodded at her to continue. “Sunghoon, did you know you burned brighter when you started hanging out with her? Did you know that it was the first time from the ten months we’ve been together, plus a month after we broke up, that I’ve seen you smile so genuinely and look at someone with so much love. I know you loved me, but you just loved her better.” Chung-ah’s smile never leaves her lips, hand holding Sunghoon’s as tight as she can. “Sunghoon, you… don’t need to stay.”

“Chung-ah, we’ve talked about this.” 

“No. You and mom talked about this.” She shakes her head, “Sunghoon, I’ve lived enough,” She sighs, scooting on her bed. “I’ll only be here for a few weeks now, I can’t hold on any longer. I need to… rest,” She looks at Sunghoon once again, grateful and apologetic all in her eyes.

“Then let me just stay with you until you can hold out, Chung-ah. For old time’s sake.” 

D-30.

“They said it was a miracle Chung-ah lasted longer than she was counted up by the doctors, Sunghoon.” Chung-ah’s mom, just like when she begged Sunghoon to stay, was weeping as she held Sunghoon by the hand. “Thank you for staying with her, Sunghoon.” 

“It’s nothing, auntie. Let’s wrap up the documents for the funeral and then let’s bid our last goodbyes to Chung-ah, alright?” Sunghoon had managed to pick himself up everytime he should, in front of Chung-ah and her family. 

Of course, every now and then he tries to look for you, getting gossip that you went radio silent after that day and had not been going to school after that, it had affected him quite a lot to not hear anything about you. 

“I have no idea as well, Sunghoon.” Heeseung sighs as he gets another call from his friend who he had recently reconciled with, mumbling on the phone. “I’m trying to look for her too. So don’t worry, I’ll give you a text as soon as I get an update,” 

“Sunghoon… Sorry, y/n… I think it’s best for you not to look for her,” This time around, Seol-in shakes her head in front of him, after paying a visit at Chung-ah’s funeral. “And you know I can’t say anything if that’s what y/n wants. So I’ll have to keep my mouth shut about it. It’s not my right to say anything,” 

D-7.

“Sunghoon.” Chung-ah’s mother snaps in front of his face to get his attention, as he jumps and suddenly looks around. He was the only one left along with his mother in front of Chung-ah’s burial site, the place filled with white flowers and food Chung-ah loved. “I didn’t know you were here. You should have told me,” She smiles at Sunghoon and places her own bouquet of white flowers beside Sunghoon’s, taking a minute to say her own prayers. “You’ve been here for how long? Can I bother you for some tea?” 

Sunghoon nods and follows her lead after they had paid a visit to Chung-ah, smiling as he rubbed Chung-ah’s frame before he left. 

“Chung-ah… she left a letter before she passed, darling.” Her mother sets her cup of tea in front of her as she opens up her bag to reveal the letter. “I wasn’t ready to open it when she passed, so I only got to open it last night and went here today to talk to her about it. It was a good thing you were there,” She pushes the letter over the table closer to Sunghoon, and explains as Sunghoon reads it.

Tears form in Sunghoon’s eyes as he reads through the letter, the first time he ever was vulnerable in front of Chung-ah’s mother. 

“Chung-ah… she was so sorry that you had to repeat senior year all over again that she asked me to take care of you,” She gets another envelope, a thicker one, and slides it over the table again. “Here’s a little help, Sunghoon.” 

“I don’t need it, auntie.” Sunghoon smiles as he glances at the content, but Chung-ah’s mother insists.

“As Chung-ah says, learn to accept the help you’re receiving.” She smiles, and Sunghoon chuckles and continues to read. “She also says… to help you find the love you had before you knew of her illness,” Sunghoon’s hold on the paper tightens, as he just got to read that part of the paper. He continues, as she continues. “I’m sorry Sunghoon, I didn’t know… but it was for my daughter, so I’m sorry that I don’t regret it at all,” She is so apologetic of her actions that she even bears tears for it, wiping it instantly. “I am a mother, that’s why.” 

Sunghoon doesn’t utter anything but continues to read, his heart thumping a lot heavier than it was.

“But I will help you find her again, Sunghoon. Now, not for me, but for you, Chung-ah, and the girl you loved.” By this time, Sunghoon had placed the letter down after reading every word of it, looking at the woman in front of him with dead eyes. He understood every side, but still, he had missed the girl he loved and is now missing. 

“I promise you I will find her, Sunghoon. I will.” She assures, taking his hands over the table. “Thank you for loving my daughter, Sunghoon. I will always carry it in my heart.”

D-5.

Sunghoon holds his phone tight as he hesitates to contact someone, as clearly sent by Chung-ah’s mother’s through text.

…997… This is y/n’s father’s number. He had it changed over two months ago, and y/n’s number was held by a new owner. I’m sorry, darling. This is all I was given. I’m sure you will be able to contact her father.

His fingers hover over the call button, head pounding and heart beating uncontrollably. 

Does he still get the right to talk to you after he left you? After he had left you for his dying ex? 

Is he still worth something to you? 

D-2.

“Sunghoon, just make the damn call,” Heeseung grows worried at his friend who makes himself hyper focused on his finals for tomorrow, not batting him an eye as he wrote through his notes. “You’ll regret it if you don’t do it sooner, Hoon.” 

“I’ve been regretting not doing everything I can with her, Heeseung. I think I will just have to live with that,” 

Heeseung groans in frustration as he gets Sunghoon’s notes from him to get his attention. 

“Fine.” Heeseung clenches his jaw. “I know where y/n is.” Sunghoon suddenly stands up and furrows his brows, scoffing at his friend. “Before you say anything, y/n didn’t want me to say anything to you, just like Seol-in.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Heeseung?” Sunghoon pushes Heeseung harshly and brushes his hair back in frustration, all the anger building up in him. “Where is she?” 

“Sunghoon.” 

“Where is she?!” 

“I’ll take you to her once you successfully finish your last exam tomorrow, Hoon. And after you get permission from his dad.” Heeseung places his notes back down on his table and opens his phone on the contact his fingers have been hovering over for a day already. “Call me once you do. Then I’ll take you to her in an instant.” 

Heeseung turns around to make his leave, but Sunghoon stops him with his sob.

“Is y/n… okay?” He sobs out, chest heavy with all the questions he bore in mind since the day he last saw you.

“Y/n…” Heeseung sighs, “...just take your exam and text her father fast, Sunghoon.” And with that, Heeseung closes the door behind him to avoid more of his friend’s questions and to avoid making Sunghoon see that he was also on the verge of crying, too. 

D-1.

“He said… I can visit tomorrow,” Sunghoon shows your father’s text to Heeseung, as Heeseung sighs. He nods at Sunghoon and pats his shoulder, giving him a smile. 

“Pack your things, then. We’ll drive in a few hours. It’s a long one,” Heeseung tears up at the thought, proud of his friend but also ready for everything happening the next day. He calls up Seol-in to update her and she asks him to brief Sunghoon up on the way there.

But seeing Sunghoon happy and giddy and jumpy… broke him. He runs out of Sunghoon’s apartment to calm himself down, leaving Sunghoon confused but he packs with a smile anyway. He sees himself on the rooftop, cursing the gods for what fate has brought you two. He thinks, since he was on the rooftop and was shouting, he’ll be able to relay his message clearer and louder. 

Because how come you’ve only lasted this long until Sunghoon has come back to you? 

The friend he made along with Sunghoon— how come you were leaving them? 

He breaks down on the rooftop, his cries unheard— closer to the heavens than to any other person on the ground. Once he had calmed down, he made his way back to Sunghoon’s flat, seeing he had already packed up… a lot. 

“Where have you been?” Sunghoon smiles at him giddily, presenting his packed things. “I didn’t know what to pack since you didn’t say anything else, so I packed nearly everything.” 

Heeseung makes his way around Sunghoon’s things when he realizes he packed many useless things, such as the jacket he was meant to give you, necklaces he meant to give you, everything he meant to give you. Whether it was packed food, clothes– everything. 

“Sunghoon…” He mumbles, tears starting to well up again. “...you don’t need to bring these.” 

“Why? I have to give all those to y/n!” He pouts at Heeseung and shoos him away, double checking his things. 

“You don’t need to, Sunghoon. Just bring some clothes, and yourself.” But Sunghoon doesn’t listen, so it ticks Heeseung off. “I said you don’t need to, Sunghoon!” 

Sunghoon stops as he looks at Heeseung weirdly, sighing.

“What the hell? Why are you being aggressive and why the hell are you crying?” Sunghoon questions as he steps closer to his friend, scrunching his forehead and sensing that there’s something definitely wrong going on. “What is it?”

“Get your packed clothes, and let’s go.” Heeseung wipes his tears away and gets his keys, leaving Sunghoon once again to walk first to his car. 

“Can you just tell me what the hell’s going on?” Sunghoon feels something unpleasant down in his chest since Heeseung was continuously crying and not uttering a word, an hour in through their drive and only with a bag of clothes behind them. “That I didn’t even need to bring what I got for y/n? And would you please stop crying? It’s dangerous while you’re driving,” 

“Sunghoon, whatever happens, I’ll be with you, okay? Seol-in too,” He starts, his voice sad as he glances at Sunghoon. “Y/n… is weak.” 

“The fuck do you mean?” Sunghoon perks in his seat, turning to Heeseung. 

“She’s been very sick, Sunghoon. Since she was a kid. And now… she’s barely holding on to life and her father’s been saying that she only lives out waiting for you every second of every day.” Sunghoon’s life stops right then and there, feeling his heart not beat faster but slower, as if you had just taken life years from him. What do you mean you’re sick? What do you mean you’re also sick? What do you mean you still let him stay with Chung-ah even though you were counting days as well? What do you mean? 

“W-what the hell, Heeseung… Not a good fucking joke,” He utters out, staring outside the window. 

“She was someone who’s prohibited to do anything exciting, and feel anything exciting, or too saddening, or anything extreme. She was not supposed to…” Heeseung explains, putting his car in the emergency parking because he was not able to tell this while driving because of his own tears. “But that day… she had a major attack, something they haven’t seen before that they thought they were going to lose y/n much earlier than they expected.” 

Sunghoon had tears uncontrollably leaving his eyes as he was reminded of everything. He had signs, unbelievably many times, but he was dumb enough to ignore it. 

Like how you were not supposed to be surprised at any cost. Like how you didn’t drink coffee even though you always lick your lips when you see it. Like how you’re only eating fruits and vegetables. Like how you said you literally cannot breathe when he took you out. Like when you didn’t go to school for days straight and when you did you looked almost nothing like you did when you first talked. Like how after that day you stumbled ‘on your own feet’ while walking straight. 

How can he not know?

“Y/n always said it’s not your fault, Sunghoon. So don’t blame yourself for it,” He didn’t even realize Heeseung had continued driving, calmed himself. 

He cannot bring himself to be angry at anyone but himself, so his voice was low.

“How can it not be me, Heeseung? When I was the one closest to her for that one month? When she showed me she was also holding on to life but I didn’t even bother asking? How can I not blame myself for it, Heeseung?” He cries out, massaging his forehead. 

“You’ll know later, Sunghoon.” Heeseung smiles at him, “You’ll know.” 

Sunghoon thought he had no tears left to cry after Chung-ah. Because after all, he promised to come back to you. To always come back to you. And he was going to. He had just cried a lot because of course, Chung-ah, but also the time he had lost with you. 

You also had golden time, time he should not have taken for granted, but how come he’s only getting to cherish everything now? 

D-0

“We’re here…” Heeseung parks his car outside of a humble house, and Sunghoon had never felt so nervous and happy and devastated at the same time. “We can go once you’re ready.” Heeseung waits outside his car as he also prepares himself, waiting for Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon, meanwhile, was breathing heavily to calm himself. He was strong. He should show you he is. That way, you can leave with no worries. And that he should not be wasting any second now of a golden chance. 

Sunghoon opens the car door and smiles at Heeseung, nodding at him. They both sigh in agreement and finally make their way inside, as they’re welcomed by Seol-in.

“She’s upstairs.” Seol-in already had red eyes and nose, still weeping as she hugged herself. She was finally going to see what her best friend has been waiting hopefully for, nodding at Sunghoon. Sunghoon makes his way upstairs slowly, Heeseung and Seol-in following closely behind. Heeseung smiles at Seol-in sweetly as he takes her by his side, rubbing her arms to calm her down.

Sunghoon is welcomed and greeted by her father outside her door, glasses fogged up from his tears that he muffles. When he meets eyes with Sunghoon, he immediately pulls him into a fatherly hug and pats him.

“Thank you, son."

Sunghoon nods at him and can’t help his eyes well up with tears, breathing heavily yet again as he takes ahold of the knob. 

He takes a step inside and finally, finally sees you, your back facing him as you sit on a wheelchair, looking out the balcony. He had realized the view was the mountain you had gone together before, only further and clearing of the clouds was happening just after the sunset. 

Sunghoon muffles his cries with the back of his palm before he makes his way to you, at first, unable to take even another step. He looks around, just not at you, because god it still hasn’t sunk in him.

“Go, son. She’s been waiting for you.” Your father encourages him, with Heeseung and Seol-in behind him. He nods, sighing out softly and deeply once again before he takes a step, and another, and another…

“My love,” Sunghoon mumbles out, softly placing his palm on your shoulder. He was so scared of holding you, feeling you’re so fragile to even touch. But when your face lights up and your lips turn to an even bigger smile, Sunghoon drops on his knees to hold both of your hands and kiss them. It was the same position you had back then, but now, you were both smiling.

“You’re here,” You mumble out, and he can see the way your chest is heaving up and down to help you substitute your talking. “I knew you were coming back.” You cup his cheeks and rub it with your thumb, scrunching your nose. “I waited for you.”

“I know you did.” He takes ahold of your hand that held his cheeks, burrowing himself to it because this was the warmth he had missed. 

“Can you transfer me to the seat? I want to sit beside you,” 

“Why? Am I covering your view? I told you, I should be in it,” He strikes the same pose he did when you had a date, earning a laugh from you as he chuckles. 

“And I told you I memorized each of your features.” You boop his nose and he finally transfers you out of your wheelchair to the sofa beside you, sitting as well. You comfortably lean your head on his shoulder, sighing in contentment. 

He takes a minute before he sighs as well, holding your hand.

“I missed you,” You say, smiling.

“I missed you too, y/n… I…” His voice shakes, and once again, he looks faraway to stop his tears. He should look strong. He should appear strong. “...I’m sorry,” 

“Shh,” You pat his hand, “Let’s not make this time to be apologetic to each other, dear. We know and we understand,” You rub his hand reassuringly, but Sunghoon continues to be a disappointment to himself by continuously crying. So you had no choice but to face him with much strength, grabbing his face to face you. 

“I love you, y/n.” He managed to breathe out, his lips quivering. “I love you so much,” 

“I do, too, Sunghoon.” You smile at him. “So much. I love you,” 

“And I’m still deeply sorry,” Sunghoon shakes his head softly between your hands, but you hold your smile.

“No, Sunghoon. You don’t need to be because it was my choice.” You explain, “Thank you, Sunghoon. Because I got to hold and had the love you dearly had for me, I was able to last further than what I was promised,” You sigh out, going back to your position as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Thank you for giving me that. For giving me life… And for keeping your promise.” 

Sunghoon feels contented and ecstatic as he just let it all out, the anxiety, the regrets, everything. What was important was now he was here beside you, and he was always going to be. He lets your warmth embrace his, for the last time. He was able to say everything he had wanted to say, and he feels contented. 

“And now that you’re back as you promised… I’m really happy… I think I can rest peacefully now.” Sunghoon nods and sighs in preparedness. He was prepared. He was okay with it. He’ll be okay. 

“You did so well holding out, y/n.” He pats your hand, then rubs your cheeks as he feels your eyes drape down. “You did so so well. You can rest now,” 

“I’m sleepy, Sunghoon.” Sunghoon’s eyes drift towards the view as he hums your favorite song to lull you to sleep. 

And when he feels your hand slowly break away from his, followed by the warmth he loved slowly fading away from the cold… he stops. He softly places a kiss on your forehead. 

“I love you. Goodnight, dear.” 

To, Park Sunghoon

Ever since we were freshies, I had always had my eye on you. If you weren’t so famous, I would’ve straight up asked you out already. That is one of the biggest regrets of my life. For not asking you out sooner. 

Because what if I did? Would you have agreed?

When I first introduced the offer to you, I didn’t even think about it twice. When I heard I’ve got months to live, I wanted you to be part of it. Because you were such a big part of my college! And my college was a big part of my life! Should I just give up it like that?

When you declined, of course I was heartbroken. And when you told me that it had wrong impressions of intentions, it broke my heart more. I should’ve thought about what you have felt if I put you in that situation, so I’m sorry. 

Sunghoon, you were such an eye candy. How come anyone -not- like you? And when we’ve finally started hanging out, you were much more than being an eye candy. You’re a bright person who have so much love to give and receive, a person who tries his best at everything, a person who, when fails, does not easily back down. A person who’s really easy to love. 

Sunghoon, I love you.

Please, please, please do not blame yourself for anything. It was my choice to keep it from you, my choice to let you stay with Chung-ah. 

The twenty days was much more than what you could’ve possibly given me. 

I love you, my dear. 

Will always do. Always will. 

Take care of yourself for me?

Love, 

y/n.

[nebbyy]

Please write a fanfic about King Baldwin IV from KoH, where he fell in love with female reader. The plot is up to you. Please make it a serious love story with slight fluff 🤗🤭

Baldwin IV x reader - Life always comes down to a game of chess

A/N: You have no idea how much I love you anon, this was one of the prompts I already wanted to write omgggg!! For this fic I kinda got inspired by this painting (which, for everyone interested, it’s “La belle dame sans merci” by Frank Dicksee), and you’ll see how and why reading it;)

Summary: King Baldwin IV receives an offer from an Italian nobleman to marry his daughter; unsure of whether to accept or not this compelling offer, Baldwin decides to do what he does best…

Warning: there are some mentions of christianity and religious references along with some hints at the misogynistic ideologies of the time (about the woman being “owned” by the dominant male figure in her life) ((I don’t condone this ideology at all but I thought it’d be fitting to add it anyway to give some accuracy to it)).

Word count: 2637

King Baldwin couldn’t quite wrap his head around you. The day that he was informed of your engagement, he felt himself quite skeptical of the idea of marrying someone. After all, ever since his leprosy had been diagnosed he had to get used to the idea of living a life of solitude, forced into a lifelong chastity, for no sane man would ever marry off their daughter to a leper. With time, he had found solace in nurturing his own knowledge and virtue, elevating himself to a level of wisdom that very few could boast at his young age.

During the following days, the young king's mind was plagued with thoughts, considerations he was making to weigh the choice. The benefits of marrying Lady Y/N were many, first and foremost securing a connection to the land of Italian speakers, allowing for easier trafficking of crusaders arriving in the Holy Land, not to mention the abundance that would be the young lady's dowry. And not only did marrying her mean strengthening the economical side of his reign, but it also meant giving the impression to the public that the king's health condition was improving to such an extent that he considered that to be an ideal time to marry. His most trusted men and all of his advisors kept repeating to him, marrying Lady Y/N would’ve been  comparable to a blessing.

But despite all the benefits this union seemed like it would bring, Baldwin continued to hesitate to make a decision. What left him so undecided was the possibility that this was some kind of deception, a conspiracy orchestrated against him, hidden in the form of the most convenient of marriages. It was up to him to decide whether it was worth taking these risks in favor of the benefits that would come if his concerns turned out to be unfounded. 

Like everything else in his life, this choice came down to a game of chess…

It was this idea that prompted him to make a decision. Baldwin had a messenger called, to be sent to Pisa to give the news to Lord Y/F/N that the king wished to report his decision to him live, at his court. For the lord to arrive it would have to wait, but Baldwin has always been a man of exceptional patience.

Four months passed, when at the dawn of Lent it was announced by a Pisan messenger that Lord Y/F/N and his daughter had come to Acre, and would soon be coming to Jerusalem. Another week passed before father and daughter, riding two white horses and accompanied by an escort of knights arrived at the royal palace.

When he first saw you, Baldwin could have sworn he saw Mary himself. You walked with such grace that you almost seemed to float. Your face looked serene, despite the anxiety that had been devouring you from within ever since the day the invitation from the king of Jerusalem reached you; a blue veil covered your hair, framing your face and falling over your shoulders. You bowed to Baldwin as was proper to do before a king, yet he felt so tempted to interrupt you, prevent you from bowing to him, perhaps even bowing to you himself.

At that moment he felt like Lancelot before Guinevere, completely mesmerized by your beauty, one who seemed more fit to an angel than a woman. But, he gave no sign of his true emotional state; after all, a gorgeous woman does not mean she can be fit to serve as queen. Her answer will be decided when she has had a chance to hear you speak, away from the judgmental stares of the court, free from any influence that might change what you really think.

As the sun shone bright in the sky, the banquet took place inside of the palace. The king excused himself before going to eat by himself in his chambers as usual, leaving his guests in the company of his sisters and his court. Loud chatter filled the room, goblets were raised to get more wine poured, courses flowed onto the set table, a tribute to thank Lord Y/F/N for making such a journey to fulfill the king's request. All this noise, yet in your ears all became quiet when a servant approached your chair, whispering a few simple words, "The king has requested your presence at dinner."

Your blood froze in your veins in surprise, and you could almost feel your father's thrill as you rose from your seat, having the servant guide you toward the king's study. Walking through the halls of the palace, you could do nothing but feel so small in comparison, you almost seemed to disappear, enveloped by the magnificence of everything around you that, if all went well, you would have called your own.

You were brought back to reality when the heavy doors of the king's room were opened by the two guards who stood at his sides. An enveloping fragrance, a mixture of myrrh and frankincense filled your senses with a feeling of serenity, an almost familiar feeling. In the center of the room, a hooded figure, dressed in silk as white as snow. "Come forward, my lady. I apologize for my absence at the table but," she interjected for a moment, rising from her seat and revealing her face-or at least, what was not covered by the veil-"many might find my appearance somewhat...disturbing during a meal." He chuckled a little at that last part. You wondered if irony had become a kind of means for him to soften his own hellish condition. 

As soon as he turned around you could not help but study the appearance of what will hopefully be your future husband. Rumors about his condition had been swirling since the day he was crowned, so you had been prepared to be confronted with a horrifically disfigured man. Instead, although part of his face was covered by the thin veil, it was like an instinct for you to try to study his features. You could vaguely make out the golden hair that adorned his face, although it was covered by the veil. His voice had intrigued you; it sounded so jovial and yet so deep. A melody that sang of the young monarch's endeavors. It intrigued you, you wondered what his lips looked like, whether they matched the sound of his voice.

But what really caught your interest were his eyes. They were blue, but of a color so deep, so intense, it reminded you of tales you had heard about the northern seas, of the waters that dark and deep seemed to beckon sailors, to lead them to drown within them. Likewise you felt mesmerized by such intensity. And you wondered, how much of this would remain the same as his illness progressed.

You recovered from that momentary trance, wasting no time to bow, but this time Baldwin stopped you before you were able to bow more than your head: "Don't bow, please. Such reverences are not necessary here." You looked at him a little dumbfounded, but despite the king's unusual attitude you did not object. He stepped to the side, revealing a finely decorated chessboard, with all the pawns already set in place. "Do you play?" he asked softly, and you finally mustered up the courage to speak "It's been some time since I last did," as you approached the table, taking your seat opposite Baldwin. He took his seat again, and for the first time in your life you found yourself face to face with a king. 

You quickly realised that he had assigned you the white pawns, the small courtesy of moving you first. You took a moment to think of an initial strategy, and moved your first pawn. A horse. Baldwin raised his eyebrows, surprised by your decision. "Aren't you going to move the pawns first?" You kept your gaze on the chessboard, partly out of respect and partly out of fear, still unsure why the king would call you to his chambers, if indeed it was all just to have a playmate. "I always prefer to start with the horse. I like to think that the pawns would be frightened to charge against the enemy without a knight to guide them." You looked up, meeting his eyes that studied you intrigued. Chuckling at what you had just said, you continued, shaking your head slightly, "Forgive me, it was just a silly thought."

"Not at all, my lady," he replied, studying your every detail, "I find it fascinating." It was his turn to move, and as per rule, he moved one of the pawns, the one in front of the queen. "So you think good leadership is better than letting the individual decide for himself?" There was a spark that had lit up in his eyes, something playful. It was clear that you were intriguing him, surprisingly in your eyes, since you had been instructed to stay behind your father's shadow, not to express your thoughts or externalize your ideologies.

Everything had to be perfect, one could not risk the futile mind of a young woman ruining the marriage that would have been so beneficial to her dukedom, but above all to her family. Yet at that moment she felt that expressing what resided in her own mind was exactly what Baldwin wanted from her. Something lit up in her too, and he in turn caught the same spark in her eyes. Could it be that she had figured out the trick...? 

Another pawn moved, it was Baldwin's turn to move again. Your eyes seldom parted from each other, just for that moment necessary to make your own move. "Independence is not always what benefits a man. Certainly, it is tempting, but in moments of indecision it risks leading to oblivion. An infantryman needs a leader, a young man who is lost in the woods needs a hunter to guide him out..." Another move, the white bishop points directly at the black king "...an indecisive man needs an outside opinion to make his decision."

You smiled, and like the sweetest of plagues you infected him too. You had deciphered his little deception. An innocent deception, with the purpose of seeing with your own eyes how you, in a condition so similar to what is the duty of a sovereign, would have acted. 

After all, his life always came down to a game of chess....

"So you understood..." Baldwin whispered, again sitting in his place. For the first time in his memory, someone had managed to leave him speechless. His witty mind seemed to have died out all of a sudden, the knight in him unarmed by the woman sitting in front of him. Maybe the deception wasn’t as occult as he had planned, or maybe this young lady was really able to stand up to him.

You smiled at him proudly, be proud of your intuition but also relieved that your thought had not turned out to be foolish. Your pride had removed from your mind every rule, every admonition that had been given to you from the moment you set foot in the Holy Land; your mind was now like a river in flood, finally free to flow out according to its natural course. "I do not blame you, my lord. I realize that this is a difficult choice for you, and that the factors at stake go far beyond your individual will."

"And what do you think about that?" Your smile acquired a bittersweet scent, and you answered without almost hesitation: "I am only a woman, my will is that of my father and it will be of my husband. My family prays that this role will be filled by you, and for this to happen I have been instructed to be fit to reign at your side."

“That I can clearly see, but what truly urges me is to know what your own will says. If we were to marry, you would be the bride to a wretched man, one whose fate has already been announced by God. My demise won't be far off, you’ll be left a widow in a foreign land. And before this… curse gets the better of me, there is no saying that it won’t get to you too. If it did, you would suffer the same fate I had been given.”

It took you a moment to let his words sink into your mind. He spoke the truth, a future with him would be filled with sickness and uncertainty; you would have to live in a court far from your home, where everyone was waiting for the king’s death like a flock of crows flying above a dying man. You took a deep breath, feeling as everything came down to this very moment. “I won’t lie to you, my lord, the future that awaits me while standing by your side is not an easy one by any means, and I’m very much aware of that. I do not expect my future to be easy, for it would be an excess of greed. So if I can have a saying in my own future, I’d like to say that I would much rather all the time that is given to me by the Lord standing by the side of a man filled with virtue, than by the side of a man too full of himself to see anything just an inch away from his reflection. There would be no greater honor for me than to stand by your side, for as long as you still have to live, my lord. And if I ever was to catch this disease as well, then I would have no other words to say other than God wills it.“

At your words, the young king had to shake himself up, now more than ever necessary for him to say something, anything really. “For you, my lady, I shall always be just Baldwin.” His tone was softer than ever, a soft breeze that reached to you and whispered I am but yours now. It was unsaid, but decided. Once this meeting would be over, the king would come to your father, and confirm his decision to accept the proposal. Only problem was, this meeting seemed to have become endless. What was supposed to be a quick meal, accompanied by a game of chess, turned into a lively exchange of political views, then silly childhood anecdotes, then again into a walk in the inner courtyard of the palace. Baldwin tried hard to keep you in his presence for as long as was deemed decent for an unmarried man and woman. He kept you with him as long as he could, and when that was no longer possible, he led you back into the great hall, gently holding your hand over his. Soon after the announcement of your engagement, the wedding was set to happen during the following Easter, and the banquet made in honor of his guests was prolonged until the sun had been long set, this time in honor of his betrothed.

You think back to that day fondly, as you lay on your bed, in the comfort of silky sheets and soft pillows. One of your hands holds your head while the others traces the patterns of the scars in your husband’s face that have considerably worsened during the years. Aside from the bed, sitting on a table, forgotten as long as the night reigned over Jerusalem, were two crowns, along with two chess pawns. A white queen and a black king. Both came from the set that had been used the day the two of you met, a reminder for Baldwin of the day God had merged your destinies in one.

A/N: wowww that came out longer than I though oopss. ANYWAY, this was my interpretation of your request, anon, hope you like it!! Also, for everyone who’s gonna read this, feel free to leave any constructive criticism since this is my first fic and I would like to improve a looot more in my writing skills. That’s it now have a nice day y’all <3<3

[puckinghischier]

Boyfriend!Nico Headcanons

these pics are gonna get me everytime, i fear

just some soft nico thoughts floating around in my noggin. enjoy :)

-

- boyfriend!nico coming home from morning skate and tiptoeing into your room, careful not to wake you so he can lay back down and nap with you

- boyfriend!nico waking up about an hour later to an empty bed, huffing because you didn’t wake him up, only for you to walk in the room wearing one of his t-shirts carrying two cups of coffee, a grin breaking out on his face

- boyfriend!nico suggesting you both shower together, even though he showered at the rink, simply because he loves when you wash his hair (and so he can use your products so he can smell fruity like you do)

- boyfriend! nico asking girls that approach him when he’s out with the team or on the road where they get various parts of their outfits/jewelry because he can’t stop thinking about how good you’d look in them, writing every store down in his notes app so he can take you there the next time you two go shopping

- boyfriend!nico who looks for you in the stands of every home game during warm-ups, needing to know you’re there watching before puck drop because he swears you’re his good luck charm, but also looking for any and every reason to impress you when he’s on the ice

- boyfriend!nico who buys you a custom jersey with his name and number on it, but with small four leaf clovers embroidered on each sleeve so everyone knows you’re his good luck charm, not the team’s

- boyfriend!nico who enlists jack’s help in surprising you with the golden retriever puppy you’ve been begging Nico to agree to adopting, making the poor kid drive three hours one-way to pick up the dog and then sneak the puppy into your shared apartment so Nico can keep you distracted and occupied, wanting to see your face when you open the door and the little furball comes running towards you

- boyfriend!nico who rushes through every post game interview he can because all he wants to do, win or lose, is go home and watch whatever current netflix show you’ve roped him into while eating whatever take-out you were in the mood for that night

- boyfriend!nico putting you on speaker in the locker room before games because the team overheard one of the pre-game pep talks you gave him earlier in the season, so now they all like to hear your encouraging words and how well you inspire each and every one of them to play their best (what jack refers to as your mrs. cap duties)

- boyfriend!nico who has to explain to his teammates why he can’t bring you along to every event the team has to go to because you have your own job and responsibilities, only for the team to whine and grumble about how nico hogs you and they never get to see you (just for him to facetime you halfway through the event so he can pass his phone around for everyone to say hi a few of them asking you to blink three times if nico was holding you hostage)

- boyfriend!nico who arranges for flowers and various treats to be delivered to your door every. single. day. that he’s gone during the season so you know he’s still thinking about you and he misses you, even if he only leaves for a day or two

- boyfriend!nico who listens to the playlist you’ve made for him anytime he’s traveling because he loves hearing whatever new song you’ve found that day that reminds you of him

- boyfriend!nico who begs you to take a bath with him because he’s so sore from a nasty hit earlier in the night and wants to just relax with you and your peach smelling bubble bath with one of your vanilla scented candles burning (but he’ll never admit he loves your sweet, scented candles)

- boyfriend!nico who will always trade a puck or a stick for anything that a fan brings as a gift for you, heart swelling seeing that the fans love you as much as he does

- boyfriend!nico who always wears a wrist full of friendship bracelets you make for him at warmups so he can trade them with the female fans that bring handmade bracelets for the players, so “they always feel included and welcomed at the games, despite what the grumpy old men have to say about it”

[three-realms-archive]

Dramatic Drama

“What the hell was that?!”

Mammon and Asmodeus yelled in unison, leaning forward to give threatening glares to the characters on screen. The pair continued to insult the male lead in particular, as he fell to his knees and grovelled for the forgiveness of his female love interest. They scolded the actor like he could somehow hear. The woman stood firm despite her former lover grovelling at her feet - and yet her face showed signs of pain and conflict.

You weren’t really sure what to expect, when you invited Mammon, Asmodeus and Satan to watch one of your favourite human-world telenovelas with you. They all seemed to love TV shows and books with plenty of drama, but you were surprised at the intensity of their reactions.

Well… Mammon’s and Asmo’s. Though you had a sneaking suspicion Satan was enjoying your watch session more than he let on.

“Whilst I’m not going to yell,” Satan began, “this is still idiotic. She literally just caught him being intimate with another woman, so how can she still stand there like -“

“Girl, you better not!” Asmo’s screeching cut Satan off as the Avatar of Lust clutched his fuzzy, pink comforter to his chest - Satan snapping his head back to the TV as the words “… but I still love you…” from the male actor floated through the speakers, along with some very dramatic guitar music. As he confessed his love for her, the woman turned look him in the eye with a softened gaze… much to the chagrin of your companions.

“No, no, no!!! Don’t you dare say you love that idiot!” Mammon growled, shaking his fist at the TV. You sighed.

“I’m glad you’re all enjoying this, but maybe don’t be too loud. We’re right next to Lucifer’s room…”

“WAIT!!!” Everyone (now including a very emotionally-invested Satan) half-shushed, half-yelled. The woman had offered the man her hand, pulling him to his feet. The three demons on the sofa leaned forward, in nervous anticipation. Asmo’s comforter was now on the floor, forgotten. Mammon was on one side of you, clinging to your arm like a lifeline. Satan was on your other side, eyes wide, your sleeve balled into his fist so hard the threads had begun to unravel. You decided to just lean back in your seat and enjoy the scene, knowing what was to come next. The woman spoke.

“I…”

Satan was seething. Asmo was chanting seriously under his breath:  ”Don’t do it, girl - don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t -“

“I… I…!”

Mammon had leaned so far forward, he’d slipped off the edge of the sofa - and onto the floor alongside Asmo’s comforter. He hadn’t made any sound, though, chanting with Asmo and gritting his teeth as -

“… I love you, too.”

And hell broke loose.

Satan began to throw things - pillows, food and books. Mammon threw his hands up and started yelling at a now-cracked screen; a thick book (courtesy of the Avatar of Wrath) lodged into the glass. A shrieking, livid Asmo caused the door to creak open only a few seconds later.

…

… A few seconds too late, as Lucifer opened the door to a TV remote hitting him smack in the head.

(inspired by a telenovela from my childhood that i've been rewatching, lol. something like this happened to the second male ad female leads, who are love interests - and i remember being so mad, especially since i shipped the second male lead so hard with the main female lead. i was also mad because they repeated this like multiple times throughout the series and i was like, girl no why this is the tenth time you've done this exact same thing. i was also also mad because the second leads being romantic with each other started so ridiculously late in the show i couldn't get behind it - and all of that culminated my young self raging even tho the show was so so good if you just take out that romance)

[hvlthgxth]

my roommate and I were just discussing your recent post about the individual alleging that they are watching gay porn to "take better nudes for bisexual women". we were enraptured by the post, but we're wondering if you might be willing to expand on it by any means as we'd love to gain a better understanding of the narrative you've started. as it stands, the work is thought-provoking and inspiring. it's open-ended nature has us hoping to learn more. in particular, we discussed potential interpretations of what the speaker seeks to gain from watching gay porn (if what they allege is true), as well as why they might feign sexual disinterest in gay porn when confronted about their erection. we also discussed whether "being hard" alluded at all to an erect penis, or something else entirely.

thanks so much, love your work.

First of all, I love you. Both of you. Where the twos and threes are gathered, know that I am there also.

The text in question, like a lot of my shorter work, does depend on the reader to fill in a lot of blanks, so I'm grateful that you took the time to wrestle with it.

The vignette is a meditation on the problem of "Straight Guy Nudes" and the solution to them. Our protagonist introduces the solution first, that is, the ability to engage with the male form as erotic from the heterosexual perspective, at least insofar as heterosexual women do with the female form. He attempts to apply this solution via immersion, watching whatever pops into the reader's mind for "gay porn", in the hopes that the perspective gained will yield improved nudes.

But it's not just improved nudes in the general, is it? It's specifically for bisexual women, i.e. the most common intersection for straight men with the LGBTQIA+ community. We'll get to why her sexuality is important soon, but first let's recognize that this is the first and only time a character is explicitly gendered. Her sexuality important because our protagonist is aware that he's up against the "I love every woman and 3 fictional men" phenomenon that he learned about just by virtue of her effect on his algorithm. And he means to do something about it, but he is not prepared for what it is about to do to him.

Our protagonist stares too long into the abyss, and he flinches when it looks back, which is how we know he's a straight man (probably a little bi, but in the way he won't work out until he thinks it's too late. many such cases). And yeah it's his dick. it's for sure his dick.

Or is it the stony carapace he constructed to keep from ackno-- no it's his penis.

I am on 40 milligrams of Adderall.