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annetteblog · 3 years

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Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone.

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??”

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance.

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly.

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

/as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet.

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed.

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience.

P.S. And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian. i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

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userjungkook97 · 2 years

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best of 2021✨✨

i've been tagged by my loves @userjiminie @heybaetae @jiminswn and @bisexualrapline to post my favorite and/or most popular post from each month from this past year.

first of all, i’d like to thank you all for thinking of me, because i’ve been only more actively giffing since november and being mentioned by so many talented people that i admire and look up to was sort of a boost for me! you all did amazing works throughout the year and i can’t wait to see what 2022 holds for you! i hope you all know just seeing your creations sometimes gives me a bit of motivation and i hope i can make giffing a hobby more than i did since i started because i was back to enjoying myself while doing so, not only for the outcome on notes and all (even though it’s pointless to deny that those things do help a little, i remembered why i wanted to learn giffing in the first place - to have fun!).

okay, so, as i said, i’ve been only actively giffing more for the past month and a half or so, so i haven’t done many edits this year (lack of motivation was one of the many reasons why hehe), so i’ll just link my most popular here and some of my favorites from other blongs on months i haven’t done much on this blog.

below the cut because i ramble a lot for someone who wasn’t very much an active gifmaker this year hehe.

january: i didn’t do much back then because i was so stressed about an exam i had i only giffed one thing for all my blogs and it was for rosé teaser solo debut, so this has to be both the popular and favorite

february: again, i was busy with uni and wasn’t much active here (even though blackpink just had their only concert AND I DIDN’T GIF A SINGLE THING!!!!). so the only post i did was a birthday post for even bech naesheim on my skam sb because yes i celebrate fictional characters’ birthdays.

march: so march happened and rosé debut too! my post popular post is this rosé/roseanne edit and my favorite one some bits of the on the ground music video. i really enjoyed myself exploring bigger gifs and i really liked the colouring on both of these!

so it happens that from april until july i didn’t do much on this blog (uni and some uni break probably lmao) but i’ll like what were my favorite posts on my other blogs. april: this wandavision edit from my multifandom (mostly marvel) blog was my favorite edit to make. i don’t usually adventure myself with typography because i always think they turned out lame when i try but this one i enjoyed SO MUCH not only the result but also the making of it all. may: i’m torn between this favorite skam season or favorite skam episode because i liked exploring the things with the background image we had from season 3 and the texts. and i think they turned out really cool 🥺. june: once again, i only existed to celebrate another fictional character birthday, this time my beloved son isak valtersen last but not least, july: 0, zero, none edits this month. i apparently forgot to exist on the month of july, 2021.

august: look at this, back at giffing, who knew! but again, i was pretty much inactive and this lisa teaser trailer debut was my only edit, so, again, it’s both my most popular and my favorite (i really like it even though it’s pretty simple).

september: for this month i have a most popular post that is lisa in the lalisa mv but my favorite one is lisa on the money performance video - i liked the colouring of this last set so much.

october: once again, i was a ghost on this blog, but i was a bit active on my other blogs, so i’ll just like my favorites from each hehe. this lights up edit; this october 3rd edit and even clip and 21:21 clip (the way this one made me exhausted…)

november: okay, okay, the month i said OKAY LET’S MAKE GIFFING A HOBBY AND A HABIT. and i enjoyed it a lot. my most popular post was jimin tweeting army to thank for the AMAs wins and it’s one of my favorites, but my favorite from november is, for sure, a celebratory set of gcf tokyo - i liked pretty much all the edits i made on november, if i’m not too happy with a edit sometimes i don’t even post, but this has been happening less lately.

december: my most popular post fom this month is bts x lv for gq/vogue teaser and my favorite is namkook live ft. jin - maybe it’s because i’m soft for namkook but i also liked the colouring a lot.

so that’s it! since i’m a bit late, i’ll only tag a few people that i love their sets and you can do it if you’re up to it, but if not, it’s all good hehe. @taeunwoo @kimtaegis @supertunajin @jungkkyuk @blooodsweatandtears @plaids @bangguks

#tag games #choked that i had trouble choosing my favorites from november #and that october and may had some really nice ones too #hoping that 2022 i'll have some more inspo but i already have some ideas so that's a plus because i usually go: head empty #bibs stuff #ANYWAYS HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR EVERYONE WOOP WOOP

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

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Young Blood II -(PB/WITS Crossover)

A/N: Peter is also a non-existent character btw, or he never befriended the marauders doesn’t matter the point is that he isn’t here either lmao -Val & Danny

Warnings: Not proofread bc in this blog we don’t fear god

Words: 4,625

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Summer 1988

The day was warm and a little windy, it could’ve been peaceful as well, hadn’t been for the constant screaming coming from the garden.

“Ari! Come back!” The little girl shouted anxiously. “Mum told you not to climb that high, you’re too small!”

Mel ran around the tree desperately trying to reach for her little sister, but as an eight-year-old, there was a limit to the distance her arms could reach. She was whimpering and flinching with every movement her little sister would make; behind her, little Harry Potter and Perseus Black approached with curious expressions.

“What are you doing?” Percy asked.

“She’s up there!” Mel panted. “I’m trying to get Ariana, but she climbed all the way up! I don’t want her to fall!”

“You’re missing the games,” Harry complained. “It’s our party and you’ve been chasing your sister around, c’mon it’s almost time for cake!”

“Daddy told me to look after her!” She argued. “Your parents asked you to do the same with your babies! Where are they?”

The boys shared a look and then turned back to her with equal disinterest on their faces.

“The girls are probably in the kitchen trying to steal food,” Harry shrugged. “Who cares? It’s our party, I’m not going to waste it looking after the twins!”

“Mel,” Percy approached, he was usually the one to mediate between them during an argument. “If we help you with Ariana will you come and play? Dad bought us all new brooms!”

Mel didn’t want to disobey her parents, but the promise of a brand new broom waiting for her was tempting enough.

“Okay,” She sighed.

Ariana laughed hysterically above their heads, she hung upside down on the branch and Mel yelped, quickly hiding her face behind both hands.

“Hi!” Ariana waved at them. “You look tiny!”

“Get her down!” Mel pleaded in horror.

“Maybe if we lure her down with food..?” Harry offered, tilting his head.

“I already tried! She won’t come down!”

“Ari!” Percy stepped forward, an easy-going smirk instantly forming on his face. “Would you get off the tree now, darling?”

“Okay!”

With a swift movement and a short jump Ariana landed neatly in front of them, her lopsided grin mocking her sister’s pale face.

“‘Darling’,” Harry snorted. “You sound like our dads.”

“Dad told me we have to treat girls nicely,” Percy replied without an ounce of embarrassment. “Maybe the twins wouldn’t put shaving cream on your pillow if you were nicer to them.”

Harry made a face. “Whatever.”

“Is it time for cake?” Ariana asked, not really caring about what the boys were arguing about. “I’m hungry!”

She ran back to the house, Mel followed her with her eyes, mouth wide open.

“I hate her,” She pouted. “She always does this— Never listens to me just to make me cry!”

“Well, you cry all the time anyway, Mel,” Harry muttered.

The little girl narrowed her eyes and closed her fist ready to throw a punch, but her father’s head peered out the back door to call them in.

“Remus is here!”

The three children ran forward screaming their uncle’s name. The man opened his arms and the avalanche of children pushed him onto the floor.

“Dear god,” Remus grunted. “I swear your kids multiply every time I come visit.”

“Well, it’s like you said, Remus,” Persephone smirked, lovingly patting her belly. “We have to keep ourselves busy somehow.”

“This is why I hate rich people,” Remus teased, staring down at Persephone’s stomach. “So you’re going for the fourth, then?”

“And last,” Persephone sent a glare at her husband, but the man just grinned.

“What are you saying, you twat?” Sirius chortled. “Those books of yours have given you galleons over galleons! You’re rich, you just won’t admit it.”

“He might not admit it, but his robes speak for him,” James joked, picking up one of the twins from Remus’ chest.

“Kids,” Lily called over the yelling mass of tiny bodies. “Ivy, stop pulling your sister’s leg like that!”

“But I want daddy to carry me too!” The little redheaded girl whined.

“No worries dear, that’s exactly why I was born with two arms!” James said, happily picking up his daughter.

Sirius did the same with his younger son Leo, and Matthew carefully took Ariana away from Remus’ leg.

Seven-year-old Lyra Black approached her uncle and held his hand carefully.

“Are you okay, uncle Moony?” She asked quietly. “You fell.”

“I’m okay,” Remus smiled down at her. “Don’t worry, I’m very strong.”

“Can we eat cake now?” Harry asked in annoyance, the adults looked at him and laughed.

“Harry, don’t be rude!” Lily scolded her son while her youngest one, little Joshua, kept his arms tightly around her neck.

“Okay, gather round!” Emily called, placing three chairs together. “Where are the stars of the show?”

Mel, Percy and Harry sat, shoulders touching and squeezing together to fit as close as possible in front of the table.

“Make a wish!” Sirius said blithely.

Matthew flicked his wand and three huge cakes appeared, each with eight candles on them. Mel squirmed on her place excitedly, Percy eyed them with immense interest without making a sound, and Harry was practically hovering over his, ready to eat the whole thing alone.

“Happy birthday!”

Their families clapped at the sight of the three firstborns of the group blowing off the candles. While Sirius and Persephone started to hand out the cake to the guests, Matthew and Remus moved to a corner to chat.

“So, famous writer Remus Lupin is back from yet another tour around the world,” Matt smiled. “What now, Moony?”

Remus shrugged, his eyes fixed on little Mel, who was the oldest out of all the children.

“I have a new book in mind, but this one might be the last I’ll write in a while, I’ve missed most of the kids’ childhood, I want to be close when the real fun begins.”

Matthew’s smile faltered. “What do you mean?”

“Mel starts school soon,” Remus chuckled. “Harry and Percy as well.”

“Oh, but that’s years away!” Matt brushed it aside. “What does it matter anyway?”

“Oh please, don’t pretend you’re not worried,” Remus laughed. “The boys have all they need to be the next James and Sirius, and your daughter adores them, don’t you think they’ll drag her to their mischief?”

The young man looked at his daughter in sudden fear. Remus was right, Harry and Percy had the genes to charm his little girl into all kinds of mishaps, he couldn’t let that happen. He would not let that happen. Matthew was going to talk to Mel as soon as he had the chance.

October 1991

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I won’t help you with your stupid pranks,” Mel said.

Percy and Harry had managed to intercept Mel before she could go eat breakfast, and now they were trying to convince her to help with their plans before she could leave the tower. It wasn’t working.

“They’re not stupid!” Harry argued. “We just want to put Percy’s cousin in his place!”

“Not a real cousin—”

“Your dad and his mum are cousins, so you are too,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“I had never seen him in my life until he stormed into our compartment acting all stupid!” Percy made a face.

“I’m sorry boys,” Mel sighed. “I promised my dad, my uncle is the headmaster and dad wants me to make a good impression…”

“You’re such a bore,” Harry frowned. “What happened to you? You used to be funny.”

Mel’s face twisted with indignation, she slammed both hands on the table making the two boys jump.

“I am fun! It’s you two who turned insuferable since we started school! You run around with Ron and his brothers pranking people and annoying Malfoy, everyone melts at your feet because your families are rich and popular—”

“You’re rich too,” Percy pointed.

“But I, unlike you, don’t enjoy being the center of attention,” She scowled. “I thought you would be better than this, Percy, you’re supposed to be the sensible one.”

“I am!” Percy replied. “But it’s just… Malfoy, he really gets on my nerves, you know?”

“Well, if you ask me, I think Hermione’s right,” Mel turned up her nose. “You boys are being ridiculous.”

“C’mon, don’t be silly,” Harry let out a silly giggle. “You never say no to a good laugh, it’ll be fun!”

Mel’s brown eyes stared at him harshly, Harry felt a cold shiver ran up his spine.

“I have to set a good example for my sister,” She said. “Leave me alone — and Percy, I hope you think twice before actually doing this, I really don’t understand why you agreed to it.”

“I already told you, Malfoy gets on my nerves!” Percy rolled his eyes. “He’s an idiot and I hate him. I’m not repeating myself, honestly…”

“Idiots,” Mel rolled her eyes. “Both of you, your mothers will send you a howler someday and I for once, am glad I don’t have to be there to witness it. Have fun in detention.”

Harry was speechless. Never, in their whole eleven years of friendship, had Mel refused to help them or show up for moral support. He didn’t understand why she was suddenly acting like this.

“Mel, you’re overreacting,” Percy said, though he was losing his patience. “Even your parents misbehaved when they were here, you should relax, have fun…”

“I’m having fun,” Mel picked up her bag. “Hermione and Erick are fun. Clever too, I enjoy their company — now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ll be listening to you from now on, Paddie, since you clearly prefer to follow Harry around, if I’m honest,” Mel looked down at Harry with a bit of disdain. “Your cousin isn’t even that bad.”

Both boys gasped at her statement.

“He’s not my direct cousin!” Percy said.

Mel left the common room without saying anything else, Ron entered the tower at the same time and she briefly waved at him. He found the two boys there, seated in silent shock, and asked them what was happening.

“Mel, that’s what,” Percy shook his head sadly. “We’ve lost her... I knew I shouldn’t have let her spend all that time with Granger!”

“And Flint,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “She prefers Flint over us! I can’t believe he took away my best friend!”

Percy looked back at him with utter disbelief. “And what the bloody hell am I, then?”

“She’ll come around,” Ron shrugged. “Granger and Flint only care about studying, she can’t possibly love homework that much.”

“I’ll win her back, you’ll see,” Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Mel was my friend first.”

August 1993

“WHAT?”

“I won’t repeat myself, James.”

“Hang on, so you’re saying Dumbledore hired you,” Matthew intervened. “As the new defense against the dark arts teacher?”

“Yes.”

“Even though Snape has been trying to get that place for years?” Matt added, a little smile playing on his lips.

Remus smirked, nodding silently.

Sirius and James roared with pleased cackles, Matthew’s eyes shone and his smile widened, although he tried his very best to remain neutral, typical Dumbledore behaviour.

Emily walked into the room to say goodbye to her husband, the men usually picked a house where to hang out once a month while the women would all spend a whole day in London simply having fun and leaving their husbands to babysit their children for a whole weekend.

“Remus got hired to be our kids’ teacher, Mily,” Sirius said delightedly. “Guess what subject he’ll be teaching?”

Emily froze, her eyes widening.

“You got the job?”

Remus laughed, nodding once again.

“Snape must be having a seizure,” She replied. “Had it coming, the idiot — Mel says he likes to bully our kids, what kind of man is he?”

“Yeah, Harry says that too,” James said darkly. “I’m telling you right now, if that twat tries to bully my girls I’ll go to that castle and turn him into a weasel.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Remus said happily. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Do the kids know about this?”

“Nah, I want it to be a surprise.”

“I’m sure they’ll be delighted,” Matthew grinned. “Their favourite uncle teaching them how to deal with water demons and stuff, bet they’ll plan to cause mischief during your classes, Moony, so you better be careful.”

“There’s no way Mel will let them get away with it,” Emily shook her head. “She’s a good girl… even if she misbehaves a little during summer.”

“Hey, Moony, do me a favour,” Sirius leaned over to Remus, grinning. “Take a picture of good ol’ Snivellus once he finds out you’re the new teacher, I just need to see his face.”

September 1st, 1993

The night sky welcomed the children into the Hogsmeade station, the Potter twins ran away as soon as they left the train, following other first-years, Lyra and Ariana stayed behind with Mel, Harry, Percy, Ron, Hermione and Erick.

Ariana tried to remain as close as possible to Erick, she had a not-so-subtle crush on him and everyone except Erick knew it, or at least that’s what she thought. Erick was well aware of it, but since she was two years younger, he wasn’t interested. It wasn’t that she was trying to make a move anyway, whenever he was around, Ariana was uncapable of uttering a word.

Once they got to the carriages they had to split since the group was too big to fit in one.

“See you guys at the feast,” Hermione said politely.

“Sure,” Ron answered.

Mel made an attempt to follow Hermione, but a hand closed around her wrist and stopped her. She turned and met Harry’s eager eyes.

“Let Lyra go with them, you can come with us...”

“I never said I wanted to go with them,” Lyra frowned. “It’s rude to speak in the name of others, you know?”

Percy’s sister followed Ariana to the other carriage, Ron and Percy shared a smirk but didn’t say anything, climbing up the carriage first and leaving Harry and Mel last.

Harry didn’t know why he’d stopped Mel from going, he just knew that as soon as the school year started she was going to leave him and spend the whole year with Hermione and Flint, and he didn’t want that.

As soon as they got to the main entrance Mel tried to find her way to Hermione once more, but Harry stopped her again. Mel let out an annoyed groan and turned to face him.

“What?” She spat.

“Eat with us,” Harry said simply. “C’mon, Mel, just this once?”

Ron whispered something to Percy and he snorted, pulling the Weasley away from the conversation. Mel and Harry were left completely alone one more time.

“We sit at the same table every day, Glasses,” She replied patiently. “I don’t see the difference.”

“The difference is that we have tons of fun during summer and then here you ignore us,” Harry said.

“I don’t ignore you,” She crossed her arms. “I keep my distance. Which is what my dad asked me to do.”

“Ruddy’s exaggerating,” Harry rolled his eyes. “We don’t get in trouble that often!”

Mel raised a brow.

“You have no self-control. All Percy has to do is to dare you and then there you are, throwing firecrackers at Filch. You say I’m the one who acts different, but the truth’s that you and Percy turn into insufferable prats as soon as we walk into the castle.”

Harry’s mouth fell open in shock, he blinked and stammered a reply, something about lies and Mel’s lack of sense of humour when she was at Hogwarts, she sighed.

“Listen, I don’t care if you like the attention, but I don’t, so please don’t try to force me to get involved. You should reconsider your behaviour this year though, Cassia and Ivy are starting their first year, they need someone to look up to.”

“They have you, since I’m such a twat,” He scoffed.

“Very well then,” Mel said, straightening her posture and looking at Harry with just a little bit of pitty. “Have fun, Glasses.”

Once the sorting was over, Cassia and Ivy Potter (both Gryffindors to no one’s surprise) sat next to Mel, although they were doing just fine without her, they were loud and hilarious, soon Fred and George made their way to them.

Harry continued to stare at Mel from his seat, frowning as he watched her talk happily with Ron’s brothers, Percy was fed up with this and decided to address it.

“She rejected your offer again,” He said calmly. “Told you not to try so soon.”

“Well, why don’t you try it, then? Since you’re such a know-it-all?” Harry responded defensively.

“That was the original plan, you prat, but as usual your impulsive arse couldn’t wait,” Percy scoffed.

“I don’t understand why you want her around all the time,” Ron yawned. “I like Mel, she’s fun and everything, but we wouldn’t get as many attention from the girls as we do now if she were with us, right?”

Both Percy and Harry stared at their friend with the same shocked expression. Since they didn’t reply, Ron decided to continue.

“You guys are wasting your time, almost every girl from our year wants you to ask them out to Hogsmeade this year and you’re crying because Mel won’t help you light a firecracker!”

“I never asked them to follow me around!” Percy exclaimed. “I don’t know why they do it!”

“It’s because you’re ‘perfect’,” Ron smirked. “Girls melt at your feet when you hold the door open or offer your little sister your cloak so she doesn’t get a cold.”

“That’s the way Dad taught me to treat people, isn’t that how everyone’s supposed to act? It’s decency!”

Ron looked at Harry and raised a brow.

“See? That’s exactly what I mean. ‘Decency’ I tell you…”

“That’s not the point,” Harry brushed it aside. “I don’t want to date any girls, I just want Mel to admit that we’re fun! Either way she would atract more girls than any of us, she’s a people magnet— and I know she likes to cause mischief as much as us, but it’s just… this has to be Flint’s fault.”

“How is Mel calling you a twat his fault?” Percy snorted.

“He’s a stuck-up idiot, just like your cousin dearest, only that he hides it better,” Harry said. “Mel wants his approval for some reason, so she acts like she hates us when he’s around.”

“Yup,” Ron said in disbelief. “That settles it then, you’re off your rocker. You’ve lost it.”

“Harry, she would never pretend to hate someone to get a boy’s approval,” Percy shook his head. “You have to face it, mate, she doesn’t like to cause mischief, she… she likes being a good student.”

Ron and Harry both grimaced.

“Well, that,” Ron grinned. “Or she has a crush on Flint.”

Harry choked on his pumpkin juice.

“WHAT?”

“We know Ariana has a crush on him,” The young Weasley shrugged. “Who says she can’t?”

Harry’s mouth suddenly felt too dry to respond, at the teachers’ table Dumbledore stood up and everyone fell silent. It was time for his speech.

“To our new students, welcome,” He smiled. “To our old students, welcome back! A few things before you go to your rooms. This year will have two new Professors! I reckon you know them well by now, but still, formalities ask me to do this presentation. First, we have Rubeus Hagrid, who’ll be the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, since Kettleburn has decided to finally retire.”

The students clapped and cheered, Hagrid was loved by most of the school, Harry and his friends included.

“Second, I’m very pleased to inform you that your new Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts is none other than Mr Remus Lupin, who’s decided to take a break from writing to teach you about his discoveries during his years of research.”

The Great Hall erupted into loud and excited exclamations, Lupin was widely known in the wizarding community for his work, the Aurors in training would use his books as a guide, he was a legend. But to the Potter, Black and Dumbledore children, Lupin was their favourite uncle, and they were beyond pleased to have him around.

Remus walked towards the front of the table and smiled at the students in front of him with satisfaction, he gave a short speech thanking Dumbledore for this opportunity and winked at his nieces and nephews with a bit of mischief. He, of course, took the opportunity to send Snape a subtle smirk and nodded towards him, Snape pretended not to notice.

Once the hall started to be emptied, the group of children ran excitedly towards the table, their faces glowing with happiness.

“You should’ve told us!” Harry exclaimed.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Lupin laughed, softly patting his goddaughter’s shoulder, since Mel was currently hugging him.

“You’ll stay permanently?” Percy asked.

“As long as I’m allowed,” The man nodded. “Or at least, as long as there’s one of you here, which will be a long time. I’ve missed too many moments, I don’t want to miss any more.”

“Cool!” exclaimed the Potter twins.

“Wait, does that mean you’ll tell your parents if we get in trouble?” Harry frowned.

Mel scoffed, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Nah,” Remus grinned. “I think Professor McGonagall takes care of that. Doesn’t mean I won’t send you to detention if I catch you cheating on a test or using magic in the halls. You won’t get any kind of privilege from me, you hear me?”

Harry, Cassia and Ivy all groaned. Percy sighed in resignation, Ariana and Lyra were just happy to have their uncle around. Mel finally broke the hug, she looked at the others ready to lead them like she always did.

“Time for bed, everyone!” She said. “Let’s go!”

As usual, the group obeyed and walked out of the hall after saying goodbye to Lupin, already looking forward to the classes with him. Lyra and Ariana wished the others a goodnight and left to their respective common rooms. Hermione, Erick and Ron were nowhere to be found, and when Percy, Harry, the twins and Mel got to the tower, Percy stopped her before she could go to bed.

Harry wanted to stay too, but the twins dragged him away while they excitedly begged him to give them a tour around the castle the next morning.

“Okay, this is the one time I’m asking you this year,” Percy said. “Harry’s driving me and Ron mad. Please, help us with one of our pranks so he can shut up.”

“You know my answer, Paddie,” Mel tilted her head sweetly. “I can’t. If I help you and then I get away with it people will think it’s my uncle turning a blind eye on me and then Ariana will try and follow along, you know how she is.”

“C’mon, Mel,” Percy implored. “Can’t you just pretend to be at least slightly interested? Harry’s losing his mind, I’m telling you — the twins will call you boring!”

Mel’s mouth twitched a bit and her eyes narrowed, she was adored by the younger girls, she didn’t want to lose that and Percy knew it. She pushed her hair back in exasperation and huffed.

“No. Stop asking.”

Percy ran a hand across his face tiredly and shook his head.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” He raised a brow. “Harry’s getting desperate, and he won’t play nice.”

“What do you mean?” Mel asked, but Percy was already halfway to the stairs. “Black! What do you mean?”

The boy merely looked at her over his shoulder, a cocky grin on his face as he shrugged without speaking.

“Oh, no...” Mel shivered, already sensing what was coming her way.

May 1994

Saturday mornings were usually peaceful around the castle, Remus enjoyed strolling around the empty halls, but today the peace and quiet was rudely interrupted by a bunch of shouting kids.

“HARRY JAMES POTTER I SAID STOP!”

Remus freezes immediately at the familiar sound. He’s heard that voice before, but he’s never heard it so angry, more so when pronouncing the boy’s name. He carefully turns the corner and looks at the scene:

Percy, Ron and Harry are all staring at Mel with exasperated expressions, behind her Draco Malfoy and Vincent Crabbe float above them, cursing and demanding to be let down. Hermione Granger stands at the corner, looking at the boys suspended in the middle of the hall and she’s between amusement and horror.

“Mellow, didn’t you hear what he called ‘Mione?” Harry demands. “He said—”

“I heard it,” Mel replies bluntly. “But hanging him upside down won’t make him stop, he’ll just want to get back at you like he always does!”

“That’s alright, we have all the time in the world to put him in his place,” Ron shrugs, casually twisting his wand and causing Crabbe to crash against Malfoy.

“Don’t you think this is getting a bit old?” The girl steps forward but Percy gets in the way, raising a brow at her as if silently saying ‘D’you really think you can stop us?’ “Ugh! This is so stupid! You’re acting like children, you’re too old for this kind of stuff!”

“You look so pretty when you’re angry,” Harry teases.

Remus almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of this, the story somehow is repeating itself, how did this happen? Mel and Harry were getting along just fine last July…

He then abruptly remembers that he’s a teacher and he’s currently watching three Gryffindor students attack two Slytherins, he can’t stand there and just watch!

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks in what he hopes is his most convincing angry voice.

Percy’s eyes widen at the sight of his uncle but he expertly recovers, he gives a step forward to the man and and speaks in a polite voice.

“Malfoy was insulting Miss Granger, Professor, he called her… well…”

“He called her a mudblood,” Harry made a face. “As if he’s made of anything better than dung.”

“Enough,” Remus looks up at the boys floating above them and raises a brow. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

Mel pushes Percy aside, he complains under his breath.

“I tried to stop them,” She says to the man. “They weren’t listening — Can you please tell them they’re being stupid?”

“I can’t tell them that, Miss Dumbledore,” He raises a brow. “I saw what you were trying to do, you and Miss Granger can leave, I’ll take it from here.”

Mel nods and turns around to take Hermione away, Percy’s eyes find Hermione’s and he tilts his head lightly, vaguely making a head movement as if saying ‘you’re welcome’, and he smirks a bit. Hermione doesn’t reciprocate, she frowns. Percy’s expression falls instantly.

Harry mumbles something to Mel as she walks past him and she stops, looks him directly in the eye, and responds:

“You are the biggest prat ever.”

Ron chortles beside them, Harry’s jaw tenses as he watches her leave.

“Better luck next time, Harry,” He grins.

Malfoy and Crabbe are already on the ground demanding Remus to send the three boys to detention, and he has to admit he can’t ignore this, he looks at Harry and the boy sighs heavily.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He pushes his hair out of his face. “Detention for a week.”

‘I have to talk to the others,’ Remus thinks, watching the three boys leave the hall without looking even remotely sorry about their actions.

Next Chapter —>

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#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic #Pure blood #Sirius Black x Oc #young blood crossover #500 followers celebration

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klarolinedrabbles · 4 years

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What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way.

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter.

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing.

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it.

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why.

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane.��

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear.

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab.

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it.

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat.

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao.

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid.

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend.

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes.

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

#Stephanie talks fandom #klaroline #Anonymous

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secondhand-trash · 4 years

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It’s 2am and I’m having thoughts but this might get rambly and long so I’m gonna put a read more here just scroll past if you don’t want to listen to me talk about blog things and writing philosophies etc lmao

Occasionally I think back to when I first started posting for real on this blog which should be around late February 2019 and how much purer I viewed this whole “tumblr” thing as. I made this blog sometime around 2015/2016 and I was only on here to read other people’s writing, I didn’t think for a second that I would end up posting my own shit because it was a time when I wasn’t writing at all.

I remembered how excited I was to get my first request ever around two years later and to have people send me asks (I say this liberally, I got like maybe two asks for those dozen ask games I reblogged lmao). I stopped writing for another two years after absolutely hating this thing I wrote for a request because it just sucked so much and made me feel like I couldn’t do this thing at all. Fast forward another two years and I posted what I would now regard as my “first decent fic” which was actually another request (if I think of it now, I got that one purely because it was a super new fandom at the time and little to know people wrote for it). I don’t think I’ve ever been as genuinely happy and excited as I had the next morning after posting to see that “99+” notif next to the tumblr icon because I really wasn’t expecting any notes at all. My last few fics got around 50 and I already thought it’s so much.

I still had little followers back then, by the way. It’s been 2-3 years since I posted for real and I had a little less than 100? Most of them followed because I was writing for a big fandom for the first time since I joined tumblr. But then I stopped writing for a few months after that because I just wasn’t inspired and there was fandom drama at that time. Later that year I wrote for a few other fandoms briefly and started writing for bnha in October (actually tmr would be like, my one year of being a real, active writing blog that doesn’t stop posting for several months at a time lmao).

It was kinda shocking that I did end up being in the fandom for a whole year tbh, I don’t think I’ve ever wrote for the same show for more than a month before getting bored the past few years. I also started actually talking to people and having followers etcetc.

If you look at it like this, tbh I have never really “blown up”? If you compare my growth rate just in follower count I gained very slowly but steadily (and a small chunk of ppl who follows me are from way before when I wrote for other fandoms hnnn I’m sorry if you’re reading this btw). Sometimes i think about it ngl, because everyone I know seem to have start later but get more interaction and gained faster. But then it’s like, this is the most successful any of my online endeavours had been? lmao because I’ve had many social media accounts that absolutely flopped in every shape or form. So it feels so silly that I would care about these things that shouldn’t have mattered at all since this is already way better than anything I have ever expected to come out of that one random idea I had in my head.

I’ll have to be very honest and say this whole string of thought have a lot to do with how I was really beaten up over how little interaction majority of my kinktober fics had been doing which I know, I know 100 or 200 is actually already a lot but it got me thinking about how differently I treat this whole thing I’m doing before or now when I wouldn’t shut up about that 100 notes I got a year ago?

I don’t... really like the way I’m treating this thing more and more “seriously” ngl. I don’t want to think about when to post to get more interaction or what to write that people will like better or why so and so seems to get more notes than me or who and who is also doing xyz. It feels like I’m managing this whole thing at some point and then when I was really running low on motivation to finish the 2 fics I had left, I was genuinely terrified that I had the thought of “what’s the point if this and the rest of the ones I already finished up are gonna flop anyways”. Like, no???? This was not supposed to be about that??? I write because writing makes me happy and it makes me wonder if I had gotten so used to posting like it’s some sort of business model that the same adrenaline and satisfaction of writing can be override?

It really got me thinking about what this is to me right now and what I want it to be, and I think that I like it better when this is just some cool thing I want to try out and see if there might be people who vibe with it. I kinda miss it when I get so hyped every time I join a new fandom after disappearing for months thinking I would get dust but still have people who did not know me at all just read my things lmao I think I used to regard everything much more simpler? And it seemed like everyone was also doing it because it’s fun too and how to know more people how to get notes what to do so people would actually see your stuff wasn’t much of a concern.

Idk, idk why I’m saying all of this but I just really want to get it out there somehow? I don’t even know if any of the above makes sense or sound coherent tbh. I think being able to say it can be like, my first step of going back to my old mentality and really just do this because it makes me feel good instead of worrying about my blog dying because I don’t post several times every week lmao

#delete later #cadence rambles #I should be sleeping but I’m deep in thoughts lolol I’ll go to bed the moment I hit post

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missartus · 3 years

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Merry Christmas!

Figured that I should write a post at Christmas, given all the chaos that’s been 2020 lol. Well, for one, Covid’s still here and so it’s still been pretty hard for everyone. Personally, my Christmas obviously changed in a way that it’s more chill this time around. Not that I’m complaining ‘cause this is probably my most preferred way of celebrating the holidays, but I’d rather have a chill Christmas because I wanted it and not because the circumstances forced us to. I didn’t even bother to dress up nor put on some makeup because I was really lazy to do so, and to be honest, the Christmas spirit isn’t really as felt this time around. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels this.

Anyway, I didn’t really intend to make a depressing post LOL. It’s the other way around, actually. I’ve been meaning to write something for a few days now but I’ve been lazy. I actually wanted to say that given all the chaos, thankfully I had a couple of things that kept me sane. They’re mostly new hobbies and interests, and some may come off as a shock, even. So here are my life updates so far. A list of things that helped me survive 2020 😌

Baking

It started with a box of pancake mix. A few months back, I was supposed to make some pancakes for an afternoon snack, but then I was kinda tired with eating pancakes that I wondered if there is any other way I can turn that mix into. I eventually ended up with these hard chocolate turnovers lmao. After that, I was suddenly baking almost every week. So far, I’ve baked coffee buns, lemon bars, pandesal!, pound cakes, cookies (ofc), and cinnamon rolls. I’m targeting to go for naked cakes but I am yet to buy an electric mixer. For someone who hates measurements and all, it’s a shock for me to be into baking. But it’s been so therapeutic for me. The kneading of the dough, the whisking, mixing, the rise, the waiting on the oven — so zen. I guess, it’s cause it keeps my mind off of things, and whenever I bake, I’m just so focused on what I’m doing. So it’s like, I’m in my own bubble of productivity for a long while. Also, I’d say it kinda helps with my self-esteem, as baking has allowed me to prove to myself that I can do something delish. Whenever I look at the finished products, I couldn’t believe that I, me, Mich, me, did that! I think that happened when I made pandesals and when I really liked the cinammon rolls. I was like, “Omg, I can’t believe I did this!” Aside from my fam, I’ve sent a few of my pastries to friends as well, and some say that I should start a business already lol. But that’s so far from my mind right now. I mean, I’d want to, in the future. But not sometime soon. I still want to enjoy this season where I’m plainly learning and enjoying the process of baking. I don’t, and am not, prepared for the pressure and hassle of it all yet. 🤪

Workout

I’ve been working out for a few years now but I wasn’t as consistent as how I’ve been the past couple of months. I used to workout every freaking day, but lately it would just be about thrice or four times a week. My past blog posts would give you a hint about my relationship with my body and food. It hasn’t been really nice in general, but working out really does help me improve my mindset towards my body image. Admittedly, I began working out because I wanted to lose weight, but eventually (and thankfully), it transformed into me working out because it makes me strong and it benefits my mental health a lot. I do a variety, although most times I’d do cardio, then I’ll just pair it up with either weights or another round of cardio but dance.

The process has been fun, and I don’t really pressure myself or limit myself when it comes to food. I still eat whatever’s there, but right now it’s all portion control, really. In all fairness, I think because I’ve been working out, my appetite isn’t as huge as it used to be. I get fuller fast these days, and I rarely binge-eat, unless I re-stock on Korean grocery food hahahaha. Anyway speaking of Korean, here’s my last interest update...

BTS

Yup. As in that K-pop boyband. As in Bangtan Sonyeondan. As in that band who’s taking over the world. What a plot twist, right? I’ve never been into K-pop to begin with, so BTS (and eventually, K-pop in general) is probably my biggest musical plot twist so far. I initially was supposed to write a whole separate blog post about this (because that’s how OBSESSED I AM WITH BTS) but I figured that I’ll just include them in this “life update” entry. But for real, it began back in October, when I saw this screenshot of RM’s WeVerse comment/reply to a fan. I’m pasting it here for reference lol.

For some reason, I was really impressed after seeing this. I’ve known the band for a while already. I know how big they are and I even have friends who are huge fans. I’ve seen a couple of their online content in the past as well, but I think it was this image that made me really realize why they’ve been getting so much attention and why their fanbase just keeps on growing. This was the first time that I “got it”, if you know what I mean. Anyway, a bit after that my ARMY friends messaged me and I was immediately swooped into the world of BTS. I don’t regret any of it though haha! I have so much feelings about this topic (lololol) but I’ll try to hold back. Who knows, I might continue with that separate blog post anyway 💁‍♀️ My bias is Namjoon (my goodness, this man is such a dream), while my bias wrecker is Jimin. Although I think my bias wrecker changes everyday now lmao. 😂 I’ll say this though, it wasn’t their pretty faces that got me. If anything, I think that really comes as secondary, because what made me an Army was their talent, their story, and their character. These boys are really men of substance, and their songs and advocacy can attest to how principled they are. Their songs have also helped me so much as I am still in the process of improving myself, my mental health, and all these introspective things. I remember this one time where I bawled my eyes out when I was reading through the English translation of Answer: Love Myself. In a year when I almost lost myself again due to how depressing this year was, it feels good to root for something, or in this case, someone, and see them flourish in success. They really started at the bottom, and I guess in a way their story also inspires me to keep on doing what I’m doing, knowing that someday, everything will make sense and I’ll finally make it.

BTS also led me to listen to other K-pop acts as well such as Day6 (another fave!), Monsta X, Shinee, IU, Henry, and BlackPink (very recently hahaha) Ok, I’ll stop right there. 😬 Funny how I just cannot get the K-pop hype for so many years, and now I’m genuinely enjoying it. It’s become my go-to work soundtrip also as I don’t get carried away by singing along to the lyrics as, ofc, it’s in a different language lol.

Plants

I remember last year when my colleagues at work gave me this plant and they assured me that it won’t die but it did. It kinda made me think that I don’t have a green thumb and that I can never maintain a plant. But guess what, I have about 7 plants now and THEY’RE ALL THRIVING SO WELL. I’m so invested in these plant babies and I’m so proud of myself that they’re all so alive and doing well. There were some scares, I admit. Like this one time when I attempted to re-pot my Syngonium Arrowhead and it almost died lol but I re-did it and thankfully it resurrected hahahahaha. Again, just like what I said about BTS and my baking, my plants are also testament to how it feels nice to root for (no pun intended) something and see them thrive, and how it feels so satisfying and reassuring to see something that I’ve been taking care of live healthy and happy.

So yeah, there’s that.

Those are what my life has been circling around these days. As I’ve said, I’m very grateful that I got into these things, little as they may seem as compared to others. But hey, they make me happy, and I think at this point in time, as long as something makes you happy and sane, that’s all that matters. You do you, girl. Wow, I can’t believe that I wrote this long. It’s been a while since I did! Anyway, I’m gonna end this here now as it’s getting late and I still have stuff to do.

Merry Christmas!

#rantsandjoys

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fictionalfics · 6 years

Text

Coffee pt. 3

(Fuck sake I couldn't find the right gif - Gifs not mine)

RK900 x reader

Warnings: Awfully cliched writing, fluff, swearing

Requested by: @dis-weird-girl-over-here

Additional tags: (I’m just tagging everyone from last time) @mikithekiki @invisiblemigraine @yallgotkik @liveloveandbekind @qtmeryr @angsty-otters-blog and my friend who recently joined tumblr, @fearfridaywriteswords

Guess who’s back from the dead! I have so much shit to write its not even funny, and exams are making my life hell, but enjoy this scrap anyways lmao.

Part One Part Two Part Three

Let’s go!

System Start-up…

Please Wait...

Conner’s LED swirled to life at around half past five in the morning. the apartment was still dark in the early morning, but you’d soon be getting up to begin your daily ritual of getting ready for work. Conner swiftly stood and made his way into the kitchen, deciding to prepare yet another coffee for you to wake up to - it would give him something to do as he planned the romantic gesture to show his love later on.

Almost as if you’d smelled the bitter-sweet beverage, you padded into the kitchen, popping your joints and yawning. You looked so pretty after just waking, stray hairs poking up like small antennae, your baggy pyjamas hugging you like Conner desperately wanted to.

“Good morning, Y/N. You have exactly forty nine minutes until we need to leave - I made you a drink in order to save time.”

You smiled widely and stood on your tiptoes, pecking Conner on the cheek. “Thanks Con, that’s really helpful!” You flash a toothy grin, reserved for only him, and pour yourself some cereal.

Software Instability^^

Conner watches you in silence, not really knowing what to say. Instead, he examined your vitals - you finally had had a sufficient amount of sleep, and you were fully alert and awake.

Good.

You catch his eye as you spoon another portion into your mouth. You silently question his antics, a raised eyebrow displaying your question. You swore Conner’s cheeks turned a slight shade of blue.

“I’m observing your vitals - it seems you have finally had enough sleep, as you are more heedful this morning.”

You smile at this. “Its the best sleep I’ve had in a while - thanks to you, anyway.” You smile cheerfully. “I guess I better get ready. The Captain’s expecting the reports on his desk at eight o’clock sharp.”

“That would be a good idea Y/N.”

You turned on your heel and headed to your room to get dressed.

Conner loved seeing you cheerful.

Work was a drag. It seemed like it was going to be a busy few weeks, with deviant cases and whatnot. You clocked out about an hour after you were meant to, but you didn't care. You didn't feel the dark cloud of fatigue for once, and, in the cool winter air, decided to go for a walk to clear your head of work. Conner came with you, watching as your breath materialised in the late October cold, and then disappear like a spirit.

Through all of this, Conner was almost silent, only interjecting at the appropriate times as you ranted about anything and everything. He seemed interested when you began to speak about your favourite TV shows, which then veered onto the topic of your childhood pets, and ice skating. You just couldn't help yourself around him - he was easy to talk to.

Software Instability^^

He loved the way you gestured wildly with your hands when you were talking about something you were passionate about, and the way your face showed nearly every expression under the sun, as you described your favourite bits of that show you were in the middle of.

Time to put his plan in action.

“May we take a detour through the park Y/N? There is something...pressing that I would like to speak about.”

At the concerned look that ghosted across your features, Conner attempted to comfort you.

“It’s not overly pressing, it is simply a problem I have, and I’d like you to help me work through it.

You gave a slow nod, still not convinced.

“Okay, I guess.” You weren’t fully convinced, but decided not to press the matter. “We can take the route by the lake if you like? I like to go that way when I need to clear my mind.”

Conner smiled. “Of course. That’s a wonderful suggestion Y/N”

You lean against the frosted railing, and stare out to the body of water before you. You loved the buzz of the city - that’s why you moved to Detroit - but you loved the occasional quiet of the park even more.

You look at the figure poised next to you - still, like a marble statue.

“What’s on your mind Conner?”

“Ah, yes. I’ve been experiencing, emotions, if you will. As you’re human, and deal with a wide variety of feelings on a daily basis, I could appreciate it if you could help.”

“Of course!” You were temporarily surprised that Conner was experiencing human emotions, but, since the revolution, the machines becoming more human-like than anyone could have ever anticipated wasn’t very looked down upon anymore. You had always treated androids as human anyway, so you very much welcomed this change in society. “What have you been feeling, if you can describe it?”

After his LED swirled yellow for a bit - researching, you assumed - he said, “I believe it’s called love.”

Wow. Conner was in love?

That was news to you.

“Wow Conner, that’s...that’s great!” You felt really happy for him, to the point where you wrapped your arms around him in elation. It didn’t occur to you that it was you he was in love with, but you were happy all the same.

Software Instability^^

“How do you suggest I go about telling the person in question?”

You thought for a bit, and settled on an answer. “Personally, I’d just tell them straight that you love them. Worst case scenario, they say they don’t feel the same way.”

Conner processed your words. “Thank you Y/N. Your advice is very helpful.”

You smiled in response, and sighed. There was an electric silence between the two of you, but you couldn’t think of anything meaningful to say.

You didn’t need to.

“Y/N?”

“Mmhmm?”

“I’m in love with you.”

Holy shit.

That is not what you were expecting.

You gripped onto the rail with your gloved hands, trying your best not to fall over at the announcement.

“O-okay, wow Conner” You laughed.

“Did I do something wrong? I apologise if I took you by surprise.”

“Oh, no of course not! I’ just surprised that it’s me, of all people!”

Conner smiled at you, and took your hand in his. “I wouldn't want it to be anyone else.”

And with that, he placed a tender kiss to your cold lips.

Software Instability^^

When you pulled away, your heart was hammering at your ribcage.

“Conner, I’m so glad you feel that way.”

“Me too, Y/N.”

You press your face to his chest, breathing him in as if the world was about to end.

“Let’s get home and warm up. we can watch the sequel to Avengers if you like?” You weren’t one for small talk, but didn't know what else to do.

“Of course, Y/N, that’s a great idea.”

You laced your fingers through his, him gazing at you as you lead the way home.

And with that, Ladies, Gentlemen and Everyone In Between, I conclude the final part of the Coffee series!

#rk900 x reader #rk900 #Detroit become human #dbh #dbh connor x reader #rk900 imagine #detroit #hank anderson #rk800 connor #rk900 conner #rk900 connor #Detroit become human fic #I still love my bby #holy shit this is so overdue #and cliched #asdfghjkl #im so happy

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avidroyalfan · 5 years

Text

Personal Update:

So I've mentioned a few times during the last couple of months that I am struggling but I thought it was about time I made a proper post about it. Also, I haven't been very active lately and I have some promises I didn't keep (anon from the anon list and those replikate posts I promised) and I feel like an asshole for doing that. Maybe I’ll feel like less of an asshole if I explain the situation properly.

A bit more than a year ago, I went through a tough break-up. Looking back now, I am so glad I didn’t pursue things with this guy, but back then it was very hard to accept and made me doubt a lot of the choices I’ve made in life. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed for 3 days, at which point I decided to get help and called to get a therapy appointment. I started to have weekly therapy sessions. The process I went through with the therapy was (and still is) a very deep process. It made me realize my reaction to the break-up was so bad because of other factors in my life, which put me under a lot of pressure and constant stress and the break-up was just the last straw that made me collapse under the pressure.

The therapy was very enlighting but wasn’t a magic solution. I still struggled to get out of bed every morning and to fulfill my responsibilities, at home and at work. There wasn’t a week passing by without me spending at least a day in bed until the late afternoon when I got up to eat a snack and get back to bed, hoping the next day will be better. I had several meltdowns, which mainly consisted of me crying while laying in bed, wondering what on earth was wrong with me (I have tears in my eyes just writing about it). I lost motivation to do anything, whether it was work related, a hobby, or even taking care of myself, of my skin (my skin is extremely capricious, you can immediately see if I put all of my creams and treatments on this morning) and of my appearance, something that was always very important to me. I’m talking about simple things, such as making sure my skirt is properly ironed, not wearing the same outfit to work three days in a row, combing my hair in the morning.

Around six months ago, I understood I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine at work. With my therapist’s encouragement, I went to my boss (the head of the laboratory where I was doing my thesis) and with great difficulty told her I was going through a difficult period. It was extremely hard for me to do it, but she was much more understanding than what I expected her to be and recommended I go to the uni’s social worker, who suggested I see a psychiatrist. Which, after some internal struggling, I did.

I was diagnosed with depression. It was a relief. It confirmed I wasn't just "lazy" or "not trying hard enough" or “needed to get my shit back together”, which are thoughts I had and words I heard from people around me. For over a year now, I have had a medical problem, that can and should be treated. So I started taking medication. I want to give a special shoutout to @duchessofostergotlands, who is the main reason I was ready to even listen to the idea of seeing a psychiatrist and did not slap the person who proposed it to me. Over the last few years, following her blog (even before I had Tumblr) taught me so much about mental health and mental illnesses. Thank you, Jessica <3

The medication, just like the therapy, wasn’t a magic trick. It takes time to find the right medication and the right dose. My lack of motivation didn’t disappear. I still had a hard time getting out of bed and getting anything done at work. My boss did her best to help me, she arranged for me to move to the uni’s dorms so that I’ll be closer to the lab, and had regular meetings with me. But she is a very busy woman and expects a certain level of independence from her students. I wasn’t capable of having that level of independence. After a few months, she told me she couldn’t continue working with me and said maybe science and research weren’t for me. She contacted the directorate of the uni, that convoked me for a meeting.

This was an extremely low point for me. I was convinced they will tell me to pack my things, go home and never come back. I saw myself just laying in bed all day, having nothing else to do. I was so ashamed of myself and couldn’t even tell my parents about it. For me, it was the end of the world. I could not possibly see a life after being kicked out of uni. I cried so much the week before this meeting. I was terrified.

At this point, it was pretty clear the medication wasn’t working. I went to the psychiatrist again, on the day my boss told me research wasn’t my thing. I was devastated. I am very lucky to have such an amazing psychiatrist - she is a rare breed among psychiatrists. She told me how when she was doing her studies, she had a hard time during her internship in a psychiatric hospital, and the director told her that psychiatry is “not for her”. She really reassured me, and she changed my medication to another type.

The day of the meeting arrived. I could barely stop my voice from shaking. They were surprisingly empathic. They asked me to explain what’s going on. I told them everything; how I didn’t know if research was really my thing, because I didn’t know anything at this point, how I didn’t have motivation for my studies and my work in the lab, but also didn’t have the motivation to see friends or to go outside. They were so understanding and told me to take two to three months off (paid!!!) and to think hard if that’s really my passion. If I decide that it is, I will be able to come back, find another laboratory to work in and have another year to do my thesis (I was supposed to finish it in October). The head of the board emphasized how important it is to do something you’re passionate about, and how the degree isn’t important and doesn’t say anything about the person that you are. It was so good to hear that.

So I moved back in with my parents. It was hard. I got used to having my own space, my independence. My parent’s apartment is quite crowded, I don’t have my own room, and the environment there is quite toxic. It was very hard to think about what is my passion and what I want to do with my life in those conditions. After a few weeks at home, with the pressure and the stress building up and getting worse by the second, I decided I needed to get away. I took a flight ticket to Paris (where my grandpa lives) and a week later I was on the plane, finally feeling a tiny bit relaxed, for the first time in what seems like an eternity.

So that’s where I am now. In Paris, enjoying french baguette every morning with a good coffee. I didn’t do anything for two weeks, but for a change, it wasn’t depressing. I got out of bed, ate, watched a movie, chat with my grandpa. Just relaxing. I left my computer in my bag for the first week. I didn’t go to any touristic thing. I’ve done them all several times and this time it’s all about relaxing. Next week I am traveling to London, my great love (don’t ask me to choose between London and Paris), where I can relax a bit more before going back to Israel. I think the medication is finally working. I am pretty sure I will go back to uni and finish my degree. I miss research, every day a bit more. I’m feeling like I can see the end of the tunnel, finally. It’s still far, but I can see it, and I know where to go now.

I hope this post not only explains my absence lately, and my lack of communication with some of you - please know I read and appreciate everything you write under my posts and on PM - but also inspire anyone reading it to seek the help you deserve. If you are feeling depressed, incompetent, like an idiot, sad, lonely, please go and find a professional who is empathic (SO important) and get help. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved, you deserve to have success and joy. Give yourself the opportunity to get all those things. I don’t have them yet, but I now can at least imagine the possibility of it.

I also want to personally thank some amazing people in the fandom who helped me in my darkest times: @duchessofostergotlands whom I already mentioned, but she also helped me enormously in the last few months, @lizisaroyalist my cupcaky angel, always here when I need her, @riffraffrouge the voice of reason and the reason for me smiling and even laughing at my darkest moments, @queensonjas an amazing listener and so good at taking my mind off depressing things, just by talking with her, and @britishroyallove who is like a big sister and helped me in my lowest moments. I love you all. Also a big thank you to the royal fandom in general (the good part of it lmao) for making this a place I can escape to and get excited about royals and tiaras and royal babies and kiddos. Thank you to everyone who contribute to this community <3

#personal #non royal #mental health #depression #duchessofostergotlands #lizisaroyalist #riffraffrouge #wow that was hard to write #but I'm glad I did it #long post #queensonjas #britishroyallove

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monolid-monologues · 5 years

Text

One year's trash is another year's treasure? My Top 3 new years resolutions..thanks 2018.

Follow the leads. (No Excuses.) I am always digging through the internet for all sorts of leads, for my art and for business. THERE'S A LOT OF INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET. What i don't do enough of: following up on it. Yes, thing get crazy and i forget, or i talk myself out of it, or, or or or or--NO. Get those MEETINGS, ROSE. The more leads i dive into, the more i'll know what i'm looking for and what i'm not. And, literally naturally, i start to stumble upon better leads. Facts: the more i research and explore, the more my sources are bound to evolve and develop. In 2019 we're going out there and whacking some weeds! Turning every stone!!!! Because maybe we'll find something.

Screen/Life Balance (#noob) I feel like i enjoyed the real privilege of plugging tf out of social media during the better 2/3 of my college years. I kept busy with work in theatre. My collaborators were in the same town, department, room, as me. The people i wanted to work with, i could find in hallways. I used department ListSERVs and bulletin boards. I didn't really need social media. Seriously what a privilege .-. I was living in a PROPER bubble.... I’m not in college anymore. These days i am living carefully... My little bit of free time is spent with a few close friends, or hanging out with my brother. I’ve been taking my time reconnecting with old friends. All the while, i’m trying to figure out how to create theater. In an effort to channel my excess energy and optimistically connect with strangers, i'm writing, i'm filming, i'm researching, i'm planning. I'm gravitating towards sharing, vulnerability. i’m working on my first show in Southern California. On these new endeavors, i'm looking at social media in a very new light. Historically, i treated my blog and instagram like personal accessories..additional aesthetic trinkets that decorate my identity. I am starting to learn what little tweens today understand intuitively AF: "my people are out there. if only i could reach them. if only my people could reach me." I'm seeing the utility of social media which used to be overshadowed by the fucking aesthetic of it all. Now i feel like i get it, like i really do need to use it to reach the people i'm looking for. -- That sounds so DUH, LMAO. I'm so embarrassed. But now that i'm slowly plugging into the internet... i'm confronted with the War that is Moderation. How do i use social media to expand and enhance my horizons, without it depleting my time and focus? What metrics am i relying on? Analytics are unavoidable, right? What can i do to relieve myself of the data-induced pressures of ENGAGEMENT, and REACH, and IMPRESSIONS?

Honor your shit. (Even when you don’t know who you are or what you’re doing.) I finished school Spring 2018. I lived in the woods, made art, living communally with a gorgeous group of artists, Summer 2018. Fall of 2018, I ran my last season with The Ground and Field Theatre Festival. Late October 2018: I moved back to southern california. Got a full-time job at a small company. Began meeting with my best friend to start our own company. And I needed to create theatre. Somehow, from October to now, i ended up regularly keeping F I V E notebooks, to organize all the disparate limbs of my life. I literally carry around a book bag full of notebooks. that i really do need. (The irony of five notebooks to keep organized, is, actually, how chaotic it is. lmao.) 2018 was the year i made or was part of some of the most amazing work--i've never been more proud of myself as an artist. UM, ALSO, though, 2018 was a total emotional shit storm. I was neglecting my heart like nobody’s biznez. I kept hiding, stockpiling, and then RUNNING from and then c r a s h i n g into my feelings, over and over again, and until VERMONT, I completely avoided taking my own temperature. Why? My feelings were giving me a hard. ass. time. These were feelings i talked myself away from. Feelings i couldn't acknowledge. Feelings i tried to repress. Feelings i didn’t want to express. One of these five notebooks (wow. VERY “HIGH SCHOOL 5 SUBJECT BINDER” VIBES,....BUT WHATEVER.) I keep is my personal journal. For my feelings. Which are now just as important to me. My messy feelings, crazy theatre plans, heavily structured business life.........i’m heeding it all. It’s one part compartmentalized, one part absolute chaos.. Nevertheless!!!!!: No more using work to escape my personal issues, no more isolating, no more neglecting. This weirdly makes me even more of a mess? So what is honoring my shit? Honoring my shit means it’s okay to feel like a hot mess most of the time. most of the week. LOL. My feelings don't have to be perfect, and my workflow doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to fit me. It only has to be really truly Me. and this point forward, we are not leaving any part of us behind.

CHEERS, TO PERSONAL SUCCESS. * * *

i started writing myself letters like this. Maybe you relate, maybe you want to see how things go, i’ll CC you gurl: https://tinyletter.com/rose-artrat

previous letter: The office girl’s bogeyman

for random thoughts, random questions //

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask

#tinyletter #artist on tumblr #office girl #theatre #LA theatre #theatre journal #journal #new years resolution #hello 2019

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aharris00britney · 6 years

Photo

ASKS 06

Ummmm stuff I’ve ignored and let build up ;-; MM hairlines, a pic of me, default replacement hairs, donation stuff, using my hair conversion meshes, a male hair wip, recolor requests, and other stuff UwU

Anonymous said: face reveal?

lmao this is from October but I never take pics of myself besides snapchat so UwU

@wildfire607 said: I love your content for the game! I have my notifications on for you. Much love from Texas. ♥️

omggg thank you!!!! literally I don’t feel like people would have notifications on for me ;n; again, thank you so much <3

@standardheld said: Hey there! I know you don’t take requests so take it as an idea. Maybe you’ll like it. Otherwise, please don’t feel forced to do anything! So here’s the idea: I haven’t fount an adult’s version of you YeoJin hairs with big pigtails. Remember Cassandra Goth from The Sims 2? It think it would look beautiful and I know you’ve got the necessary talent. If you like the idea, please let me know :)

Hello!!! Lmao I am kinda swamped rn to start ‘new’ things BUTBUTBUT I don’t mind if somebody uses my conversion meshes like YeoJin Hair since all it is is a conversion. So if u wanna do it or wanna ask some other people, feel free!! <3

@pxelsquid said: The WIP hair in your play list post is so beautiful! I can’t wait for it!

Thanks! Planning to get it out in the next week or so

Anonymous said: What do you use donations for?

(answer in bold) lmao I actually don’t get many, at least not enough for them to go towards anything. But I do get a few dollars every couple of months (and that still makes me super happy to see ty to anyone who has donated ever UwU) lmao so I don’t really know what the donations go towards though I guess packs?? which rn I prob wouldn’t buy a pack w/donation money bc irl stufffff but I would think donations on a sims account should go to more sims stuff if you don’t need to money for personal life situations :)

Anonymous said: Hello! Would you ever consider some of your hairs for male sims?

You should be able to disable to masculine filter and see them?? If not go in S4S and edit the tags to let it be seen

Anonymous said: about your last hair: NOPE.

all night all night all niiiiiiiight ✨

Anonymous said: I’m so happy you made the Jennie Hair without headband! I really like it so far. Good job!

Yay!! I’m glad you like it. Thank you so much <3

Anonymous said: When will you be releasing the braids on your post /post/168877609911/ ?

Yeah!! They’ve been done a while, hopefully they should get posted soon. Here is a link if u want early accessssssssssssss UwU

Anonymous said: why did u and yoshi break up?

Richard ( @cas-fulleditmode ) shares the same fetish as me (M*** P**f) lmao im kiddingggggg UwU me and @ayoshi are married in Korea still

Anonymous said: BOOOOOI! HAVE YOU HEARD “BLACK DRESS” BY CLC? IT. IS. LIT

i dont think u get…. my k-pop obsession ;-; lmao I literally keep up with like every girl group and watch the album teasers/everything UwU I still prefer Where Are You? to Black Dress though.

Anonymous said: Are you friends with grimcookies?

to an extend I think so, yes. We have only messaged a few times in the past week or so bc of memessssss

Anonymous said: Can you please post some eyes or tell me where I can download cc eyes? I hate the eyelashes that sims has.

My resource page has the eyes I use and the no EA eyelashes mod link :)

@saurussims said: Pass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

My birthday is this month so I’m happy about that lmao

Loona

my pug UwU

my friendssss

getting new clothing

Anonymous said: aghhhh your sim style is so nice! Have a nice day!

Thank you so much!!

Anonymous said: Hello! ^_^ I just dropped by to tell you how much I appreciate your hard work in making hairs. I don’t know how much time it takes you to make such wonderful creations, but they definitely made my sims better-looking for your CCs are amazing and they are of matching lengths and styles that really made planning my sims’ hairstyles easier <3 Sorry I’m too broke to donate, and all I can do is THANK YOU :( But please know that you deserve all the praises you get. More power to you and your blog! <3

omggg this is so sweet ;-; thank you!!! I really really really appreciate stuff like this. <3

Anonymous said: Would you consider making more hairs (preferably a long, casual style and maybe a ponytail?) with the Candie/Maja bangs? They’re soooo cute!

I have made another hair with those bangs. Hopefully it gets posted soon :)

Anonymous said: Can you please make the laundry day hairstyles base game compatible?

I actually didn’t buy laundry stuff lmao college/senior payments are taking all my money rn so I prob won’t get any packs anytime soon :P

Anonymous said: all i want in life is curly maxis match boy hairs ahhh :((((((((

aweeee I am really bad at male hairs or I would try :( this is a male hair I did the other day and it is super super basic but like I’m surprised it wasn’t super fucked up ;-;

@jacazul said: ✨💛 This is the Amazing Person Award! Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of eight different people, who, in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know someone thinks you’re amazing inside and out 💛✨ <3333

Thank you!!! <3

Anonymous said: how do you get all your sims to look so cute??? every time i think i’ve made a super cute sim i see one of your sims on my dash and i’m like WHOA NEVERMIND THEN. seriously tho what are your secrets

ummmm I use all my sims and then just do ‘make twin/sibling’ and then I get a clone to mold like clay wedgfhv

Anonymous said: which recolor palettes do you recommend for hairs? I like the EA colors but I would like to try some others.. especially after seeing the hair color you put on your sim with the jennie hair in your latest post

Obvi I like the anathema palette bc I put my hairs in that, but the saccharine (?) is really really good and there are tons of hairs in that. and the WMS palette is so so so good there are just too many swatches for me to do that palette tbh

Anonymous said: Are you going to make more hairs that are ombre accessory compatible?

Maybe! I am not sure tbh, it depends on the mesh I use and abunch of other factors :)

Anonymous said: Question, I love your Jisoo hair, it’s well done, but the ombre part, what’s the file name and how do you download it? I’m a noob when it comes to this. Sorry to bother you.

file name -> JisooHairOmbreNaturals[AH00B].package

just put it in your mods folder like you would normal CC. It is in accessories :)

Anonymous said: I’m legit falling in love with you and all these cc’s ❤❤❤

<3333 Thanksssssss UwU

Anonymous said: not to rush you but are any male sims coming out soon :0

My male sim has been in my drafts with all the CC links and everything the past MONTH but I haven’t had the motivation to export his download file omggg. He is on my gallery @ spotharris if u really really want him right now

@bob10112006

said:

I love you and thank you for your cc and can you make not so berry cc?thanks!

People have made recolors of my cc in not so berry colors :) check my sideblog @aharris00britneyrecolors

Anonymous said: Hi! Are you planning to make the Go Won hairs into a bob? the same hair and all but shorter. I just think it will look really nice as a bob.

Maybe?? no plans as of right now though

Anonymous said: please upload your red-ish haired sim! :) x

Already did, check my sim download page

Anonymous said: damn, those new hair really sucks. sorry… but. yeah.

well maybe if you stanned LOONA then you would like them UwU

Anonymous said: I checked out your sim page, they’re so gorgeous! I remember at some point last year you mentioned maybe sharing Briella after you stopped using her, and I haven’t seen her in a while in your posts. Have you considered sharing her or is she just officially retired? She was a very cute sim and is iconic!

Briella wasn’t actually my sim! Her original download post is here

@ayoshi said: Are you gonna tell your followers why you didn’t give me a valentine gift or…???

Me and @cas-fulleditmode were too busy to take a stop in korea sorry UwU

Anonymous said: heey :) could you maybe put the hairlines your were talking about in the latest post for download? i use hairlines myself and i really like your hairs in tge palette you are using and i can’t find any hairlines in it soo? could you do that? :)

the hairlines I made are actually in the saccharine palette bc so many clayified hairs come in that palette lmao. They are kinda messy rn but if I eve use them on a sim download ill link them there :)

Anonymous said: Could you please recolour some of wild-pixel’s hairs in the palette?

Anonymous said: can we give you recolor requests?

Idk if I will do recolors that often but when I do I kinda just do what hairs I find myself using at that time :P

Anonymous said: Will u ever upload girl from “tell me why, why i’m so lonely” post?? Please consider it, she is soooo cute 😍😍😍

I didnt save her :(

@investedwheat40 said: Would you ever consider uploading your joy hair as a default replacement for that one hair Zoe Patel wears?

Prob not since it uses different textures/shadows and stuff, it would be the same size and stuff as the normal Joy hair

Anonymous said: Is there any way to download you models? Because I live how they looks and really want to use them.

I got this before I made my sim download page, but lmao here is a link to my sim download page :P

#asks

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toastydoodles · 6 years

Photo

(Art Blog) | (Twitter) | (Instagram) | (Storenvy)

((Had to get in one last post before the new year!))

I HAD THE MOST STRESSFUL FUN THIS OCTOBER doing these three conventions three weeks in a row, not to mention doing multi-day conventions for the first time! There were ups and downs but I had so much fun and by the end of my con season my brain was utterly fried!!

Thank you so so much to everyone who stopped by, and to those who followed me here sometime in the past couple months: Hello!! Thank you for supporting my art and I hope you enjoy your stay!!

That said, I’m gonna talk a bit about this con season. GET COMFY, ITS LONG

So con prep started in late August when I learned that I actually got into Kumori after having been on their waitlist for a while. I knew then that I REALLY had to kick my ass into gear lol

At this point, I was still in the middle of my 40 hr (+ 12 hr travel time) a week summer internship, so I didn’t have all day to work on my prints until the weekend, but my weekends were usually taken up spending time with loved ones and friends. Or gaming, since I didn’t have the time during the weekdays >_>

Then college came back around, giving me 4 classes, a student job doing graphic design, and club activities + homework! When I thought I’d have more free time, I actually had less! But with cons approaching, I drew more than I would have if I didn’t have cons AND found myself improving when it came to doing prints again.

The biggest issue popped up a week before BCC. LONG story short, I suddenly did not have a button maker to borrow anymore. I weighed my options: either lose money on potential button sales (which made up most of my sales in previous years) and shelf my button designs, or drop $500 on a button maker set to make them in time for Kumori and Jet City. This is also keeping in mind that I might not be able to do too many cons in the future.

I bought the button maker. But, since I am the luckiest daughter in the world, my parents swooped in to pay for it as an early Christmas present. I will be making so many wearable memes with this gift and I am GRATEFUL.

Another issue I ran into the WHOLE MONTH was not being able to take card. I’m forever rejected from Square (tl;dr, my phone glitched during signup and shredded through all the signup attempts I can possibly have. Customer service basically said “welp, sorry!”) and Paypal Here was entirely unhelpful, so I had to go the season as cash only. I won’t actually know how much this hurt sales, but it definitely hurt turning down some big purchases because I was one of the few vendors that didn’t take card!

I’ll definitely be looking into the alternatives for card readers soon! There’s a lot out there.

This year, I kept track of my sales and stock with excel sheets with formulas! It definitely kept things organized and helped me keep track of stock and see where patterns were, if any. It wasn’t perfect, but it helped immensely. I also kept very VERY close track of what my spending was like.

I’m spoiling it before the end, but I was about $200 from breaking even. Luckily I’m not in a position where this loss impacts significantly, but it still stings! It could have been a result of multiple things, such as the hotel for Kumori being 1/3rd of my expenses ALONE, my choice of products/fandoms, not having ability to take card, and general attendee interest.

Let’s take a brief look at each con!

Bellingham Comicon

Glad to be back!

Bellingham Comicon has once again, been a joy. It’s a small convention but excited attendees pack the place and sales were good. A couple people recognized me from last year and I recognized a couple people too! I didn’t have my button maker yet but perlers seemed to be decently popular. I even made a custom Witch Mercy perler that sold 40 MINUTES INTO THE CONVENTION. It sold so quick that I didn’t even get to take a table picture until after I sold it! (I will say, when I put up that custom Sentai Genji, I upped the price a bit lmao)

I met a lot of amazing artists and got to do a bunch of art trades as well, something I haven’t really done in previous years! I was happy to see a couple familiar faces and meet some new artists too!! BCC is small enough that walking around and chatting to other artists and vendors is on the easier side.

I got a couple weird looks dressed as IT Damien from Dream Daddy, but was glad some people recognized me! I made some first impressions on some very cool artists in that cosplay haHA

While BCC is a comic convention, I didn’t feel out of place. There were lots of attendees that I would consider in my target audience and I didn’t feel like it was taking away from business. BCC is very much a comic and pop culture convention, with fans looking for all sorts of things!

Kumoricon

GOD WHAT AN ADVENTURE

Kumori was my first multi-day convention, and the farthest I’ve travelled for a con! Needless to say, I was anticipating this con since August, but didn’t know AT ALL what to expect.

We ended up driving down on Thursday and setting up that night, which definitely took a lot of the stress away. I also managed to compact my table and merch into a single tote, a print box, a bag to hold the wire cubes, + personal bags for miscellaneous stuff. So that was less stressful too.

Friday came and I was cosplaying Taako (which, as I found out, is 150% more fun to wear than IT Damien oops). The day was on the slower side, and some of my friends came by to say hi and ended up helping out at my table, giving me time to check out the artist alley!

Kumori’s artist alley was HUGE. And even more jarring: so many of the artists I follow on twitter/insta/etc were there. Somehow. Good lord, how many of you live in the PNW that I didn’t know about? I recognized an artist who’s art I love in line while waiting for badges and almost had a heart attack. Over the weekend, I met a lot of artists but it was only a fraction of the entire artist alley. I didn’t even get to meet all the artists I recognized!

So. Profit-wise, the con was kind of a disappointment. Oh boy, here’s a stat: I made about as much at BCC as I did at Kumori. In three days.

Again, this could’ve been a number of things. A lot of artists (many more experienced than me!), general interest, things I chose to sell, etc. But even so, many of the returning artists I talked to said it was slower than last year and some said the con is usually pretty dang slow.

But the con was fantastic in other ways. It gave me valuable big-con experience, some new art friends/mutuals, a fun time at the con and in Portland (good food!), and again, my favorite part, meeting a ton of cool, amazing artists and being able to make some art trades or to buy from them!

I definitely needed rest after this one. My brain was absolutely FRIED by the time we finally got back home and ate a late dinner at Shari’s.

Jet City Comic Show

Not even gonna lie, it was EMPTY most of the weekend!

I ended up having to table by myself, which wasn’t a problem with how lax it was. I even had time to doodle as well as finish a pen drawing! And I live pretty close to the show, so I could just head home once the days ended.

My table neighbor was super cool and I met a bunch of cool artists from all over the artist alley as well! This alley was pretty massive too, so I didn’t get to check out all of them. Being a comic convention, most of the artists were comic-based, with maybe a hand full of anime-styled artist from what I could see.

Many artists had their own published comics, and I enjoyed listening to their pitches (and took some comics home too!!).

My row didn’t seem to get a lot of foot traffic, but neither did the majority of the artist alley. And Sunday was even slower! Talking to other vendors, I found out Jet City is usually slow, but this year was slower than the last.

All in all, it was a nice quiet weekend and I was happy to meet more amazing artists at this con, as well as happy to get home and REST!

Overall...

This season was rewarding. Not in the money way, unfortunately. I’m lucky to be a position where it doesn’t affect me in a major way. But I’m always so excited to go to cons, and just being around fellow fans and creative minds is rewarding in it’s own way. I’ve also learned what to do and what not to do for future conventions should I continue to do them!

the real profit was the artists we met along the way

#artist alley #artist alley recap #long post #toasty post #i actually wrote this is november and havent finished it til now lmao #portfolio

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