#Fuck Saints row IV

[og-bad-dogg]

Deep Silver??? More Like D1ck Sugger!!!

[laugh-of-the-medusa]

Saints Row IV is so unhinged. And as someone who never played Saints Row before it’s even funnier because nothing fucking makes sense characters-wise because their stories are in the first three games. But it doesn’t matter because SRIV is chaotic enough the storytelling doesn’t need to make sense. Is it glitchy as all fuck? Yes. Does it crash every other fucking mission? Also yes. Do I care? Lmao no. It’s like one big fucking troll of a game. The story’s fucking narrator turns out to be Jane fuckign Austen, like what the fucj man I need more games this fucking unhinged.

[khadgarbignaturals]

two normie parents taking their emo son to kill ppl

[masschase]

My Boss circa-SRIV

[luvsavos]

so not only does genki canonly exist in the reboot but it seems strongly implied that he and doc ketchum worked together at some point??? i do not like that concept At All!

[denkryn]

Reading some questionable takes on 4 sided dive on reddit and realizing I’m having a completely different experience watching this show. I can’t believe people are actually complaining about the game segment. Meanwhile, here I was, thinking it was the best part 💀 I just love watching them play video games. I miss mame drop and everything is content gaming eps and yeehaw game ranch, they were all so much fun. Anyway, this has made me realize how I’m really not watching 4 sided dive for the ‘right’ reasons, which according to reddit, is only to learn more about the characters.

[plaguebirds]

putting the monster in monster truck

[funicularinclinefan]

i was really hoping to enjoy saints row (2022) and i still hold out hope for when im able to play in the future (and hopefully when its not so damn expensive) but shit keeps piling on and i can't help but feel disheartened

based on gameplay ive seen alone, the way the characters are written I'd half expect a laugh track to play in the back, it feels so especially artificial and it really takes me out of it. like the way rent/student loans/etc is talked about makes it feel like a much older person trying to appeal to a 'milennial' audience back in 2016 or something, it's just not real things people would say

ive only seen as far as the "making rent" mission, but the way its panned out feels really wrong? like its just "LOL lets go rob a bank 🤪" and has absolutely no weight to it, and they dont exactly feel like the sort of group who would make it go that smoothly. There was no planning, no preparation, no wearing gloves or masks, just adds onto the uneasy feeling

tl;dr as much as i want to like the new sr game ive been given little to no reason to enjoy it

[toothflesh]

here's my saints row boss i hope y'all love him as much as i do

[rorschachisgay]

Saints Row and in particular Saints Row 1 and Saints Row 2 had enormous impact on me and have an irreplaceable spot in my development and history. one of my biggest tattoos is a Saints Row tribute. the franchise shaped a lot of my teen and young adult years. i know for a lot of people it was the goofy comedy series but it mattered to me profoundly.

It has been a long time since any of the people who were heading those games have worked at Volition, but knowing how the company was treated over the years, having it suddenly tossed into the gutter like this is crushing. hundreds of good people losing their jobs because their parent company was scrambling to recoup costs from a shitty failed business decision.

it's unfair. all of the entertainment industry is brutal, but video games are a fucking machine made to chew people up and spit them out again like disposable tokens, only good for extracting as much monetary value as possible. you release one game that performs just ok, not great but not terrible, but because you didnt meet the impossible imaginary goalposts of people who frankly know nothing about your company or your work outside of numbers on a screen, thirty years of history is just gone. like that.

how fucking miserable. Volition had such a rough fucking deal the last ten years, bouncing from one parent company to another and still, somehow, being expected to produce games in that. and they fucking did, too. i still remember the devs of saints row the third and iv talking about how they were making saints row the third not knowing if their parent company was going to live long enough to see it be released. how saints row iv was the way it was because they were under such time and money constraints that the budget didnt exist to do what theyd dreamed of.

it's horrible. and i can't help but wonder what's going to become of idolninja's pc patch as well. just rot in embracer's archives somewhere? what a fucking waste of a mans legacy.

It's all so fucking brutally sad and unnecessary. Volition were entering a new era, they could have done so much more. i can only hope that the hundreds of people let go can find new jobs soon, since embracer group also stiffed them on medical insurance as a final fuck you.

just furious and heartbroken for the games i loved and, more importantly, the people who were horribly fucked over by the evils of corporate greed yet again. fuck embracer, fuck the video game industry.

[teecupangel]

Hey, so, assassins creed x Idols (Kpop?). From the comments of the other post I remember the band "Now United" where every member is from a different country, maybe it can be used as a concept for the band?, idk I'm just giving ideas but I really want to continue the idea of them as group bc I found it hilarious lmao.

I tried looking for the post where we talk about this but I can’t find it anymore TTATT

(Also, it’s kinda funny that I’m answering this ask now the same day I watched the last Hololive concert with my friend. What a coincidence lol)

So, first things first, since my idol era happened during the early 2000s with Jpop, I’m going to borrow the setup of Debut or Die for this one to make it feel more Kpop XD

First things first, we’ll set up what we need in the idol group:

Lead Vocalist

Sub Vocalist

Main Dancer

Lead Rapper

(there are other parts like “Face of the Group” or “Main Visual”… aka the most photogenic one, maybe even something like the group’s composer/lyricist if we want that)

Anyway, we’re focusing on those 4 because this is the formation for Desmond, Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton.

Okay, let’s be honest. We’re going to put Desmond in the lead vocalist part because it’s me XD

But, putting him as sub vocalist would be a random reference to the fact that Desmond’s voice actor, Nolan North, sang the sub vocalist part of Saint Row IV’s Opposite Attract singalong scene

(this also help show how high Nolan North can sing I guess?)

Also, also, Ratonhnhaké:ton has to be the lead vocalist. His voice actor, Noah Watts, has a 13+ min video showing why Ratonhnhaké:ton should be the lead vocalist.

Altaïr would be the main dancer because I like the idea of Ezio being the main rapper and Altaïr’s body build would make him a good dancer.

So our final setup would be

Ratonhnhaké:ton – Lead Vocalist and Maknae (the youngest by one year)

Desmond – Sub Vocalist and the reluctant leader

Altaïr – Main Dancer and maybe their dance coordinator?

Ezio – Lead Rapper and Face of the Group + Main Visual

Now, I think you asked what Edward’s part will be?

Normally I would say Edward can a retired idol turned into this group’s manager but let’s fuck with the timeline and make everyone around the same ages and turn this into…

ACB48

hehehehe

(for those wondering, this is a reference to one of the longest idol group in Japan, AKB48)

So Desmond’s group would be part of ACB48 together.

Other groups include:

A group composed of Edward, Arno, Evie and Jacob (fans jokingly calls them the Hundred Years War Group)

A group composed of Shao Jun, Arbaaz Mir, Nikolai Orelov and Aguilar de Nerha.

A group composed of Kassandra, Alexios, and the twins Eivor and Havi.

A group composed of Bayek, Aya and Basim.

(Modern Assassins will be assistants or managers. Other historical Assassins can have their own group: like maybe Malik and Federico with their own group??? An all girls group of Claudia, Mary Read, Anne Bonny (even if she's not really an Assassin), María, Rebekah and Roshan)

And, of course, one of their rival idol group is made of Haytham Kenway, Shay Cormac (who was once part of ACB48), Daniel Cross and Maria Thorpe. (The CEO of their company is Warren Vidic)

Since they’re all of similar ages (around late teens early to mid twenties), Edward and Haytham are brothers and Ratonhnhaké:ton is their half-brother. Whether they’re cousins with Ezio is up to you.

[superdonuthideout]

Have I shared who my favorite author is? Ive only read 1 work from Pam Godwin and I can see greatness in every word—that however, is respect. My favorite author is Trisha Wolfe, this is my 3rd read of her works and as always, this one is really good. The excitement is real, the happiness and the thrill. I can't believe I'm only reading this now. Her book scratches the right spot of itch, she gives the right amount of taste, and she delivers morally unhinged stories that make you truly question yourself. Moreover, she makes me giggle in a way I'm not proud to admit; her male leads. They are morally grey , morally unhinged and I am guilty to admit that I fucking love them.

Her 3 books served a fucked up ML, in Born Darkly we got Grayson Sullivan and urrgghh pangalan palang!!! That mf is a psychopath killer who's in literal death row, he's fucking scary! He buried London alive!!! Despite that, I can't help but simp. Am I the problem? In lovely bad things we got a philosophy professor, a calculative and Cunning man. I love that side of him huhu oh and he tied the FL in a tree and fu—he put a goddamn symbols in both her thighs. And here in the cellar door? Killing the devils, the younger sister of the ML is kidnapped by a human trafficking organization and was beaten so hard it was hard to identify her. He's hunting them down. The heroine is an ex-cop, a detective who lost her job after her partner/lover died and now she's hunting the one who killed him. Guess who killed him? Yes. There's a lot of secrets to unravel, sexual tension that requires a great amount of control. They both wanted revenge, the question is, whose revenge is justifiable? Read it. 10/10. Also one of the best things about this author is the satisfying double cultivation in the end. There's only one, but it's more than enough. It's not only motivated by lust, but by hatred, regret, healing and many more emotions. It has its own purpose. A big role.

And I like Makenna!! Her brain works so fast! She's really intelligent, not like the other heroine na walang ibang alam kundi Ang maging horny, kahit naoakaseryoso ng usapan, pinapaeral Ang makanyakan. I'm not talking about the saint but ok. Charot HAHAHAH. anyways they always have their guard against each other and no they're not working together. He locked her up HAHHAHAHAHAHAH

[werewolf-cuddles]

I love how Volition has now rendered Saints Row IV completely fucking unplayable on Steam.

Thanks for ruining one of my favourite games, you useless cunts.

[masschase]

Can we talk about the fact that...

...this fake error screen exists in SRIV and yet in almost 10 years, no-one on ao3 seems to have written Matt's Nyte Blayde slash fic? (at least not with that title)

[luvsavos]

unironically bossgat lives in my brain rent free

[czerwonykasztelanic]

Some twenty-four hours after finishing Saint-Just et la Force des Choses, having already exhausted the local library's collection of books on the Revolution, I remain a metalhead nonetheless. Ergo: assorted Mgła songs in the key of Thermidor. Like many a conventionnel, I enjoy listing things.

Age of Excuse II

The stench of Zeitgeist Is the incense of discarded shrines As the corpses put on powder and rouge So that the hoax can proceed, ever sidewards

Age of Excuse III

Out of howling of prophets And curses of the righteous In the ivory halls A new kind of champion is bred [...] And the last of misbelievers Will be trampled in the greatest of marches Toward the radiant future Where sheep are promised fangs And only after the graves are filled With remains of dissidents And the frame of reference is torched Together with forbidden thoughts [...] At the bottom of things it's the same old script: Do you believe in victory or do you hail defeat Ersatz revolt Ersatz rebellion For a new world would come Every once in a while "Purer", "brighter", "clearer", "better" Ersatz purpose Ersatz alliance Ersatz ideals Ersatz communion

Age of Excuse V

It's a begging time for dissolution The commodity of ultimate silence on public display The living dead stare at the gaping void Waiting for the blade to finally come down Not just yet There's still innards to be ripped out And hanged between the sacred trees [...] Let's just try and pretend That our corpses still have some class

Age of Excuse VI

The litanies of overskurkens moral Are the only prayers to be heard these days And all those who dreamt about a True Revolution Got distracted by hurting each other What has to be done, has to be done The human nature is what it is We cover our eyes in a call to arms And turn one edge toward ourselves [...] Empires get wrecked Principles get crushed Saviors get crucified History gets what? History fucking gets over it all And the assassins in rose tinted glasses At the wrong end of the tunnel of light Practitioners of paramount scorn And those who'd rig moral compass rather than bridges Behold the world and spit on it The noble and the scum of the earth Just out of some basic damned dignity In this day and age of excuse

With Hearts Towards None I

I shall rise to the beyond I shall reveal heights not yet imagined I shall rewrite Summa de homine I shall speak with tongues of angels and I shall burn with pure light I will burn allright...

With Hearts Towards None V

Behold the high order abstractors Anthropologists and engineers alike The virtuous, the chaste Weaving new layers of oblivion Behold the kings and leaders of men Warlords of retreat, sovereigns of surrender The righteous, the pure Now gathered upon the new form A monument is risen To be seen from afar Erected by thieves Financed by murderers And secured by lawyers [...] Behold trangression, conform and gorge Bask in the radiance of purified norm There will be no distress, no more trembling The muzzle never felt that good

With Hearts Towards None VII

Have ye courage, o my brethren? The signs are everywhere. Some did not see it coming, others refused to see. [...] There come the agents of change, stiff and inert Pillars of reason and pillars of belief, In the footsteps of their fathers' virtues

Exercises in Futility IV

Some are born without a purpose Other than prolonged demise in ornate ways Most of the time it's pathetic, quick and useless And good neighbours don't bother digging up the graves It's rows upon rows of kings, whores and pawns And the storm is rolling The vengeful and the bitter reach out for their fix Rebels never realized that their angst was a mockery Every empire Every nation Every tribe Thought it would end In a bit more decent way