#GOD this is why we can't have a fucking conversation like she always does this at the most inconvenient times

[waitingforminjae]

not my mom being a kirk cameron stan

[coconut-dreamz]

gorgeous

"you've ruined my life, by not being mine" || tom blyth x actress! reader

a/n: i'm baaaack, with more ts and love for tom blyth

you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk and made fun of the way you talk

you were at out at a local bar with some of your cast mates from tbosas. you were sitting with rachel and you were mocking tom's british accent. the two of you were laughing at your terrible impression. "why does he say that! it's so funny!" rachel laughs.

"what are you two laughing about?" tom's walks over from the other side of the table. "nothing" you both mumble out, sharing a look. "sounded like you were having a lot of fun earlier" he adds, you laugh at this. "sounded like you were having a lot of fun earlier." you repeat in a british accent, mimicking tom.

rachel bursts out laughing at this. tom just gives you two a look like you'd both gone insane. "making fun of me now?" he asks, as you lose it. "maybe," you make out between laughs. "that's not very nice." he says in a jokingly stern voice. "sorry, we just think your normal accent is so funny." rachel explains as you continue to laugh.

exasperated, tom leaves, going to find the company of people who won't laugh at him when he speaks. this causes the two of you to laugh even harder.

you should think about the consequence off your magnetic field being a little too strong

somehow, you always found yourself gravitating towards tom. whether you're on the opposite side of the room from him, you always find yourself right by him within a matter of minutes. he had a weird pull on you.

you had been talking with an actor that played one of the background academy students when you heard tom's laugh from across the room. it distracted you from the conversation you were having. she seemed to have noticed your lack of attention and just smirked. "go ahead," was all she said and nodded her head towards tom. you thanked her and left towards him.

he smiled as he saw you approaching the group, opening his arms to you for a hug. you sighed contently as his arms around you. "how are you?" he whispered in your ear. "better now that you're here." you admitted

and i got a boyfriend, he's older than us he's in the club doing, i don't know what

your boyfriend had just texted you telling you he was going out with some friends for the night. it was morning for you, being on the opposite side of the planet from him. hearing that from him, you knew you'd probably be seeing some headlines of him in the morning, or night for you.

things were strained lately, with you being busy with back to back projects and him, honestly not doing shit. it made him feel emasculated knowing you were currently the it girl and he was just known as your boyfriend. he was a bit older and no longer in his prime and no longer booking big projects.

you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much whiskey on ice, sunset and vine

you were on a break from filming so you, rachel, tom and josh decided to go to la and soak in some sun. you four were out at dinner. and tom was telling you all about what it was like filming for billy the kid.

he was nursing a whiskey and ice, recounting all the notable parts of filming. it made you so jealous. he was just so damn cool. this was not helping your giant crush on him.

you've ruined my life, by not being mine you're so gorgeous

you and tom were sitting in your trailer, just basking in the peace and quiet. it wasn’t everyday that you got to sit and relax and enjoy some coffee and mediocre croissants.

it killed you knowing that tom wasn't yours. you even broke up with your loser boyfriend. "god, you're so fucking gorgeous." you mutter under your breath while sitting with tom enjoying coffee. "what was that?" he looks up from his book. "huh, oh nothing!" you blurt out, not realizing you said that out loud, taking a sip of your coffee.

i can't say anything to your face 'cause look at your face

"hunter, why's he so damn gorgeous. i can't handle it!" you shout to hunter. you were all gathered in some local bar. you longingly stared at tom from across the bar. "girl, i don't know. tell him yourself." she answers blandly. "i can't! nothing ever comes out of my mouth when i try to talk to him. he must think i'm some type of weirdo!" you exclaim, annoyed by the beauty of that gorgeous, gorgeous man standing across the crowded room.

and i'm so furious at you for making me feel this way but what can i say? you're gorgeous

"oh my god! i'm so mad!" you randomly shout as you third wheel rachel and josh in rachel's trailer. "what is it now?" josh asks, tired of your antics. "we all know it's tom. it's always tom." rachel answers for you. "i'm so furious that he makes me feel this way, but he's not mine!" you dramatically flop onto the couch.

josh shakes his head hearing this, "then tell him how you feel!" he advises you. "i can't! he's too gorgeous for me!" you reply, fake crying into the pillow. the two roll their eyes at your dramatics. you should take it as a compliment that i'm talking to everyone here but you

it was finally the end of filming, so the director threw a wrap party. you waltzed around the room, talking to nearly every single person. everyone but tom.

"why won't she talk to me? is she mad at me?" tom asks hunter. she gives rachel a knowing grin. "i don't think she's mad at you, but you should ask her yourself." rachel adds, pushing him towards you.

tom decided he had enough of you ignoring him and walked towards you, interrupting your conversation. "hey, can i talk to you?" he asks, you simply nod, too nervous to speak.

and you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in the darkened room

he grabs your hand and leads you to a dark corner of the venue the party was being held. "did i do something wrong?" he asks, a concerned look on his face. "no! not at all!" you exclaim, trying to alleviate his thoughts. "i've just been feeling nervous around you lately."

if you've got a girlfriend, i'm jealous of her but if you're single that's honestly worse 'cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

you weren't sure of tom's relationship status, he never mentioned anything about having a girlfriend and you never mentioned anything about being in a relationship either. not that you even were in one anymore.

a part of you wanted him to be single, but a part of you hoped he wasn’t. it was honestly worse if he was single. it probably meant he wasn't interested then.

ocean blue eyes looking in mine i feel like i might sink and drown and die

you stare into his blue eyes. you never realized how blue they were. they were like oceans. all you wanted to do was swim in them, or even drown in them. they were so gorgeous, just like him. "have your eyes always been so blue?" you ask aloud, staring deeply into his eyes.

you make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have

you loved spending time with tom. he made you happy. but there was always a sad feeling that's fill your heart when you thought about how he wasn't yours.

"are you single, tom?" you break the silence after your precious confession. this question shocks tom for a moment. "yeah, why?" he asks a little confused by your conversation now. "can i kiss you?" you whisper out, inching closer to him.

he doesn't answer and instead slams his lips onto your own. after a few moments of passionate kissing, you pull apart. "you don't know how long i've been waiting to do that." tom whispers, his face still only inches from you. "god, you're so gorgeous" you mutter out.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I) | Part 1

Word Count: 5.9k

Genre: smut, angst

Summary: When you first met your boyfriend, it was love at first sight. No, more than that. It was love before you even met. It felt like you had known each other in another life and were meant to find each other again. 

But that's not actually true, is it? You and Beomgyu don't actually know each other from another life, and the dreams you've been having aren't memories of your past life either. That's ridiculous. 

But then why does Beomgyu get so defensive about them? And why does each dream feel more real than the one before? 

A/N: this is the sequel to my series YAMQN but I'm trying to write it in a way that it would be comprehensible to people who have never read YAMQN. The parts in italic are the dreams. 

Warnings: fucking on furniture, orgasm control, premature ejaculation, masturbation, PIV sex, toxic relationships.

“Stay home” Beomgyu holds you from behind, kissing your neck

“We can’t. I’ve canceled on them too many times now.” You whine. Beomgyu keeps doing this. Every time you try to hang out with your friends he pouts and whines until you stay home with him. It was cute at first–how he couldn’t get enough of you–but now your friends are actually getting pissed at the both of you. 

“But I missed you.” You can feel his pout on your skin as his lips brush over it. 

“We hang out every day. We live together!” You protest, but you’re unable to keep the chuckle from your voice.

“I know but that’s not what I mean.” He mumbles cryptically and you turn your head towards him. “Then what do you mean?” 

He flushes and buries his face in the crook of your neck so you wouldn’t see him. “Never mind. It’s stupid”

You grab his long hair, gently lifting his head up so you can lock eyes with him. “No, tell me.”

He lets out a shaky sigh. “It’s just… you ever feel like you and someone else are two halves of the same soul and you’ve spent and will spend all your lifetimes trying to reunite with them and when you finally do, you just can’t bear to let go?”

You’re rendered speechless by his impassioned, if self-conscious, speech because it captured exactly what you’ve always felt about him but was too scared to say in case you scare him off. 

You met Beomgyu while at work at the coffee shop at the local mall around christmas time last year. You spotted this adorable guy in front of your store dressed in the most ridiculous teddy bear sweater you’ve ever seen, collecting donations to buy toys for the kids at the local shelters. You fell for him at first sight and wherever he’d show up, you’d spend your entire shift stealing glances at him to the point that even your coworkers noticed. You couldn’t get over how sweet what he was doing was and you so badly wanted to go up to him and tell him that but you didn’t want to come across as a weirdo. It was only after your coworkers’ incessant nagging that you finally mustered up the courage to go up to him, hot drink in hand, offering it to him and telling him how much you admired what he was doing and how cute he his sweater was. 

The conversation flowed much more easily than you could have ever anticipated–almost like you two were meant to be–and from then on it became your daily routine to bring him a cup of coffee during your break and have a chat with him until you were yelled at by your boss for taking too long. 

And when Christmas day was fast approaching and the both of you knew he wouldn’t be there much longer, a snarky comment from your boss finally brought the two of you together and forced you to get over your trepidation. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. She likes you. He likes you. She finishes her shift at 6. Come pick her up. She likes sunflowers.” 

And that is how you and Beomgyu started dating. 

“Well now I can't go.” You lament, and he smiles radiantly, victorious. 

God your friends are gonna be so mad.

But it’s hard to think about that when his lips are attached to your neck, sucking at your most sensitive spots as he grinds his dick into your ass. 

“You look so sexy in that dress.” He murmurs wantonly, groping your tits coarsely over said dress. 

���Careful or you’re gonna blow your load on my ass.” You tease, referring to the first time you two got intimate. He was so excited then that he ended up cumming just from a little grinding. He’s lucky he’s so cute and that you found his enthusiasm endearing because if any other guy had cum so prematurely like that, you would’ve probably kicked his ass out the door. But also he ended up eating you out for the rest of the night until your legs turned into jelly to make it up to you, so it wasn’t too bad. 

Beomgyu pulls your dress down over your tits so he can play with them directly as he sucks on the skin of your neck, and you can feel your arousal begin to build up between your legs. 

"Beomgyu…" 

"My sensitive baby." He chuckles, index fingers flicking your nipples. You squeeze your thighs together in need and push your ass back against his cock pointedly. "Fuck me, Beomgyu."

It doesn’t take much prompting to get Beomgyu to give in. He has always been needy for you and today was no different. He pushes you against the table, flipping the skirt of your dress up and pulling your underwear out of the way before he pushes himself inside you, filling you up so perfectly as if he was made for you. 

“Oh, Beomgyu…” You gasp, clawing at the wooden surface of the table. This is hardly new to you. Beomgyu has fucked you on every surface of this house, many times. He's insatiable. He just can't get enough of you, and neither you him. 

“Baby, I don’t think I will last long.” He grunts into your ear and you chuckle breathlessly. “Of course not. You never could resist my pussy, huh?”

“No.” He shakes his head, driving his cock into you harshly. 

“Then cum. Show me how much you need me.” 

“Fuck, I do. I do, baby.” He groans, pressing his hips flush against your ass as he empties his seed inside of you. 

“Well, that was quick.” You giggle when he catches his breath and he whines, flipping you over on your back and pulling your thighs up against your body. You know what’s coming next. Beomgyu can never leave you unsatisfied and when he finishes too early like this he usually makes it up to you by giving you the best oral of your life. 

But when he sees his cum dripping out of your swollen pussy, he stops and stares, almost hypnotized by the sight, and a far away look takes over his face. 

"What?" You ask, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Nothing."

“Do you like seeing me dripping with your seed? Are you thinking of knocking me up?” You tease, and his head snaps up to look at you at a neck-breaking speed, a horrified look on his face. 

Fuck, did you read the situation wrong? Why did you say that? You don’t know why you said that!

Actually you do. You had another one of your dreams today–the ones where Beomgyu is a prince and you’re a lady at court and you’re in love. Beomgyu doesn’t like hearing about them much. He calls them silly and always brushes them off, not wanting to hear about them. But his lack of enthusiasm doesn’t stop you from having them, and each one feels more real than the other, as if it had actually happened. As if you were recalling memories of a previous life. And the latest dream was no different. 

"Our children are not going to want for anything.” Dream Beomgyu says, hand splayed protectively over your tummy. 

“What?” Real-life Beomgyu sputters, and you explain yourself shyly, sitting up and covering yourself as you chuckle nervously. “I just… I had a dream that I was pregnant with your baby. You know, when you were a prince…” 

But Beomgyu doesn’t share your laughter. His face immediately hardens and his reaction this time surpasses mere distaste and veers into anger.. “I was never a prince. None of your dreams ever happened. They’re just meaningless dreams. Don’t be stupid.” 

"Stupid?" You draw back at the sudden outburst. 

"Yes. The whole prince thing is stupid. You need to get out of your head and come back to reality. The whimsical, superstitious act is not cute anymore." He snaps, far too much vitriol in his voice for such a silly topic.

"Why are you being such an ass? Would it hurt you to just listen and laugh with me? Or is the idea of us having a baby together so appalling to you?" You don’t know why you’re going so hard to defend your dreams or why he feels the need to tear them down, but you can’t ignore the sudden shift after he heard you mention the possibility of having a child together, and his answering laugh cuts you deep.

"You don't know anything." Beomgyu says, getting cryptic like he always gets whenever you talk about your dreams. Usually you’d let it go, but not this time. Not when he was so disgusted with the idea of having a child with you.  

"Don't know what?" You ask, frustrated. “That you find the thought of having a child with me so appalling?”

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

Of course, he never wants to talk about it. He always runs away whenever the topic of discussion gets too serious for his liking. For a guy who is so self-proclaimed obsessed with you, he sure does work hard to avoid these meaningful talks. Well, if he wants to avoid it so bad then you’ll make it easy for him. 

"Fine." You hop off the table and go to the bathroom to clean yourself up and change your underwear before going back out, intending to leave the apartment to get some fresh air and most importantly, to get away from Beomgyu. 

But Beomgyu has other ideas, following you at every step like a second shadow, and when he sees you going for the door, he steps in between you and it. "Where are you going?"

"Out."

"I'm coming with you." He states decidedly and you can’t keep the snort out of your mouth. He always does this. He always makes decisions for you. Well, not this time. "No. I need space." 

But he shakes his head firmly. "You're angry. I don't want to let you go angry."

Beomgyu always hated parting from you on bad terms. He always needed to make sure everything was okay before he let you out of his sight. It was sweet at first. You might’ve even considered it healthy at some point, but right now it’s driving you up the wall. Arguments can't always be resolved on the spot, especially when one party refuses to even talk, and so forcing you to be together just ends up with you lashing out because you can't blow off steam. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t care. He just doesn't want you out of his sight. 

"Beomgyu, for fuck's sake, get out of my way. I don’t want to be around you right now." 

"You know I can't let you go angry." He reiterates as if that is a necessity you had to cave to. 

"You're going to have to learn to. If you won’t talk to me then you have to at least give me some space.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to.” You shout, angry and fed up with him. “I don't know what the fuck happened to you in the past to traumatize you like this, because god knows you refuse to tell me, but I can’t coddle you about it anymore. I need to take a breather and I don’t care if you–”

"I lost a baby before." He utters softly but it was deafening to you. 

"What?" 

“Me and my ex, we had a baby on the way but I lost both of them. That’s why the idea of having a baby freaks me out so much. I can’t handle losing another one. I can’t handle losing you.… it’s just–it’s–” He starts tearing and stuttering his words, looking distraught as he attempts to explain himself to you, and you feel absolutely wretched for doubting him. You’re such a fucking bitch for forcing him to reveal this to you, but you’re also selfishly glad he did. Even this tiny sliver of his past is much needed context to explain the man you love so dearly. 

“I—I don’t know what to say.” You pathetically utter after an exorbitant amount of time, never having expected such a revelation. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

You take him into your arms and he sobs against you, holding onto you tightly. "I want to have a child with you. Nothing would make me happier. You have no idea. But I'm just too scared." 

“It’s okay, baby. I don’t want to have a child right now. We can talk about it again in the future. We’ll work it out together, okay?” You pull back slightly–not stepping out of his tight embrace, not that he would’ve let you–and take his face into your hands, wiping his tears off. 

He nods pitifully. “Okay.” 

You should’ve left it at that. He’s in a bad state. You should be comforting him right now, but you’re selfish and this might be the only time he’ll open up to you, and now you have to know. 

"Did… did you love her?" 

"With all my heart." He doesn’t hesitate in answering and you feel a pang of jealousy towards his deceased lover. How fucked up, is that? "More than me?"

He is quiet for a while and every second that passes in silence tears your heart apart. 

"There is no one I love more than you." He finally says and you let out a sigh of relief that was entirely too obvious. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m being such a bitch. I’m jealous of a dead girl, how crazy is that?” You ramble nervously, but Beomgyu stops you with a kiss. 

“That’s okay, baby. I know you don’t mean it like that.” He reassures you and you sigh in relief once more. He never judges you for the messed up thoughts you sometimes get. He always understands and emphasizes and that’s part of the reason why you love him so much. 

Still you keep the rest of your questions about her to yourself. It must be a sore subject for him given how he was so protective of it before. The only thing you need to know right now is that you’re the love of his life, not her, not anyone else. You.

____________________

“He’s not trying to keep me away from you. He’s just really clingy. No, he’s not manipulating me–” Your heated defense of your boyfriend is cut off when you spot said boyfriend standing in the doorway of the kitchen where you had been taking your friend’s call so he wouldn’t overhear it. Well, so much for that.

“Oh shit, I'll call you back.” You mutter to your friend and end the call, cutting off the protests on the other line. 

“Was that Yunjin?” He asks and you nod guiltily. Yunjin doesn’t like Beomgyu. She made that very clear to the point that despite you not telling him, he knows it well. 

“She’s just being Yunjin. Don’t mind her.” You try to smooth things over but he shakes his head. “No, it’s my fault. I’m not helping things by keeping you all to myself. It’s just because I love being with you so much, you know that right?”

“I know, baby.” You walk towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love spending time with you too–hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t you come along? It would be killing two birds with one stone, hanging out with my friends while still being with you. And it’s been so long since they’ve last seen you. I’m sure once they get a look at your cute face, they’d forget all their reservations.” 

You laugh, but Beomgyu looks nervous. “I don’t know. They don’t really like me anymore.” 

“Because they don’t see much of you and you’re taking over all my attention. If they see more of you, they’d fall in love with you all over again.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure. You’re irresistible, puppy.” 

_________________________________________

And just like you said, things go well. After your friends get over the initial annoyance that you brought Beomgyu along, they start warming up to him once the conversation starts flowing and Beomgyu’s radiant personality shines through. You’ve even caught Yunjin crack a smile or two at his antics. 

But all your high hopes come crashing down when another person joins your party. The stranger’s name is Taehyun, and he’s apparently the new roommate of one of your friends, which is fine enough, he seems like a nice guy and you’ve always welcomed new additions to your group. 

Beomgyu on the other hand, must feel differently, because as soon as Taehyun joins you, his whole demeanor shifts and he becomes closed off and snappy, getting mean with his comments that were all seemingly directed at the newcomer. It was starting to ruin the mood, making your friends mad again, and so when he makes yet another snarky remark to something Taehyun innocuously said, you have to pull him aside and ask him what his problem is. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Beomgyu? My friends were just starting to warm up to you again. Why are you being such a dick?” 

“I want to go home. I don’t feel very good.” He lies, and you know it’s a lie because he doesn’t sell it very well, glaring daggers at the table where your friends are seated.

“Then go home.” You snap, having little remaining patience for his behavior. 

He gives you a look of betrayal. “You know I can’t leave without you.” 

“You’re going to have to if you can’t act like a fucking adult. The reason I invited you is because I wanted to help smooth things over between you and my friends. I wanted to prove to them that you’re not the manipulative asshole they think you are, but honestly the way you’re acting right now, makes me wonder if maybe they are right and–”

“No they’re not.” He cuts you off, lips tightly pressed together. “Fine, we'll stay.” 

“Beomgyu…” You eye him with doubt but he insists. “I’m fine. Let's go.” 

He drags you back to the table and you stop your protests so your friends can’t hear it. 

Beomgyu is quiet for a while, which doesn’t make for pleasant company, but at least he’s not being an asshole. Well, not for a bit anyway. Because once Taehyun mentions he’s looking for a job and you tell him that your place of work is hiring, Beomgyu starts acting up again.  

“I’m sure he doesn’t want to work as a barista, honey.” Beomgyu speaks over you, but Taehyun rebuts him. “I do. The hours sound good for a student like me and the work doesn’t sound too hard. It’s perfect.”

Once again, Beomgyu speaks instead of you. “But you seem like an intelligent guy. Surely serving coffee to other people would be embarrassing for you.”

“What the hell, Beomgyu?” You hiss, mortified at his implication, and in front of all your friends too. Is that what he really thinks? Does he think your job is embarrassing?

“I just mean that he could be doing something else.” 

“And what does that make me? A loser who isn’t good for anything except serving people coffee, a job you apparently think is humiliating for someone intelligent to have?” 

“You’re overthinking it, baby. I didn’t mean–”

“Oh, I didn’t think my dumb brain was capable of overthinking.” You laugh tearfully, and stand up before your friends could see you cry. “Excuse me.” 

You storm out of the restaurant and Beomgyu follows after you. 

“Baby!” 

You whip around and scream at him. “If you think what I do is so demeaning then why are you even with me?”

“I don’t think that.” He denies vehemently, “I just didn’t want him to work with you. I got bad vibes from that dude.” 

"Not this again.” You groan. Of course this is why he was behaving in such a bizarre and rude manner. Beomgyu is a jealous guy. You tried reassuring him a million times that he’s the only guy for you but to no avail. He gets paranoid and thinks every guy you interact with will steal you away from him, and here he is doing it again. “Are you seriously fucking jealous of a guy I don’t even know?"

“I am not jealous.” He tries to deny, badly. “I told you I got bad vibes from him.”

“Bad vibes?” You laugh hysterically. “If bad vibes are all it takes then I would’ve broken up with you long ago because all my friends got bad vibes from you.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Your friends hate me. They’ll say anything to tear us apart. I bet they even invited that guy just to piss me off.” 

"Oh my god, are you listening to yourself? You’re so–ugh, just please leave me alone, Beomgyu." You try to walk away from him but he quickly reaches out and grabs you by the arm, turning you around to face him, freaked out. "No, please stay."

"Let me go, Beomgyu." You demand, your anger bubbling to dangerous level but Beomgyu stand firm. “No. You can’t leave me.”

“Let me go.” 

“No.” 

“I’m serious, Beomgyu. Leave me the fuck alone.” 

“No.”

You can’t help it. He’s driving you insane, and you can’t hold back anymore. You slap him. 

But you immediately regret it when you see the red mark beginning to bloom across his cheek. 

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. You just drive me–" He kisses you passionately, holding onto you even tighter. 

"Do anything you want to me, I don’t mind. Just don't leave me." He breathes against your lips, eyes looking crazed in their desperation. 

God, this is sick. You shouldn’t entertain this kind of twisted trade-off. You should push him away and demand he leave you be. You shouldn’t take him up on his offer to let you unload your frustrations physically onto him. Maybe you should even end it…

But you can’t. You’re as invested in this as he is. You don’t want to break up with him. You don’t want to leave him. You just want to punish him for the crazy way he’s behaving. You want to feel like you’re not letting him get away with this without actually having to break up with him .

And so you accept his sick offer.

_______________________________

"You're so pathetic, Beomgyu." 

He shudders at your words, and you don’t know if he likes it or hates it. All you know is he tries to reach out to you but his hands are held back by the bindings you’ve fashioned out of your scarves. 

He cries out for you but you have no mercy for him. This is the punishment he chose for himself and you’ll be damned if you don’t make the most of it. 

“You’ve really pissed me off this time, Beomgyu. Acted so crazy just so I wouldn’t leave you. Well, now you get to sit back and watch me fuck myself and you can do nothing about it.” You taunt him as you ride the dildo you have strapped around his abdomen, his own cock brushing up against your ass every time you move, getting enough stimulation to keep him hard but not nearly enough to get him off. 

"Please, sit on my cock. It feels better than that plastic toy. I'm all hard and ready for you. Ride me, please. Cum on my dick. Use me instead of that toy." He babbles, but you don’t listen. 

You want to make him suffer, and you’re scared to dwell too long on where that emotion comes from. You love your boyfriend. You’ve never wanted to hurt him before, but he really pushed you too far this time. 

"You did this. You’re making me do this to you. You’re being a terrible boyfriend." 

"No, don’t say that.” He shakes his head vehemently, getting teary. “I'm sorry. I’ll do anything to make it better. Whatever you want." 

"Will you let him work with me?" You hazard to ask and his face immediately transforms. "No." 

You scoff–so much for being apologetic–and ride the dildo faster, moaning out loud just to piss him off. You see him struggling and feel him trying to buck his hips against you but he can’t accomplish much more than his cock just grazing your ass. 

Still, you can feel the wetness from the precum touching your skin. “You’re fucking ridiculous.” 

“You just don’t know what you are to me.” He counters, leaving you speechless. One thing about Beomgyu is that he will never fail to tell you just how much you mean to him. It’s why you’ve always been so weak when it comes to him. 

But that doesn’t mean you can’t punish him for his behavior. “Clearly not much if you don’t even trust me to work with him.” 

“You don’t know.” He insists, but doesn’t deny your claim which pisses you off even more. 

“Don’t know what? That you think I’ll cheat on you if given the slightest chance? Is that something she did to you? Is that why you’re so fucked up?”

His silence is all you need to know, and you don’t know if you should feel bad for him that the woman he loved so much cheated on him, or angry that he assumes you would do the same just because she did. 

“Fuck you, Beomgyu.” The two emotions mix together and fuel you further, and you put your hand between your legs to touch yourself, getting yourself off if only just to spite him, knowing how much he needs to always be the cause of your pleasure. 

“Baby, please.” He begs, seeing you inch closer to your end, and it’s killing him that he’s not the reason for it. Little does he know that his desperation and blinding need for you is the greatest contributor to your impending fall over the edge. 

But you don’t let him know that, jumping erratically on the dildo and attacking your poor clit with your fingers, sending yourself off on the most emotionally exhausting orgasm of your life. 

“Baby…” You can hear him whimper pitifully in the background, his shape blurry in front of you as you fight off your own tears. “Baby…”

“What is it?” You hiss after your orgasm passes, anger finally overpowering the lust. “Do you want to cum? Is that what you’re concerned about? Your dick?”

“That’s not it.” He tries to deny it but you’re already untying him. And despite his denial, as soon as his hands are free, he tries to reach out to grab you but you take his hands and forcefully pull them off your body. He tries to fight you but you hiss sharply at him, "Stay." 

He whimpers but listens, and when he looks like he won’t go back on his words, you let go of his hands. "Touch yourself."

"I want you to touch me." He whines and you slap his thigh. "You don't get to make demands. Not after the way you behaved in front of my friends. You embarrassed me!"

"I'm sorry." He mewls, one hand going to his dick and the other playing with his nipples, putting on a show for you, needing to gain your favor once again. Which is precisely why you lean over him to grab your phone from the night stand and unlock it, pretending to be scrolling through it as he jerks off. 

“Baby!” He protests heatedly, reaching out to touch you. Beomgyu fucking hates it when you don’t give him any attention. He withers without it.  

“Did I say you could touch me?” You seethe, not bothering to take his hands off this time, opting instead to intimidate him into it, and thankfully he retracts his hands at your tone as if it had burned him. 

“Keep jerking off.” You instruct, and as soon as he does, you go back to looking at your phone. 

"Look at me." He whines, but doesn’t stop this time. You can hear the wet sounds of his hand moving over his cock and see the movement out of the corner of your eyes.

“Please.” 

You ignore him. 

“Just look at me.” 

You keep looking at your phone. 

"Princess…."

You snap your head up, narrowing your eyes at him. He never called you that. In fact, he almost makes it a point not to call you that so he wouldn’t “feed into your prince delusion”. So for him to say that right now was really low. Not that Beomgyu cared, as long as he had your attention. 

"Yeah, yeah, that's it." He moans, thrusting into his fist.

Maybe it's sick. Maybe you're enabling his behavior but god, was it so sexy to have him so completely obsessed with you that just your gaze is enough to get him off. 

“Is this what you want, Beomgyu? For me to look at you and see how you’re such a pathetic slut that you can’t even get off without me giving you my attention?” 

Beomgyu doesn’t even try to deny it, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes. Never want you to look away from me. I missed you so much.” He hiccups, thrusting up into his tight fist. 

Here he goes again, talking about how much he misses you. You’re sure if you spend every single second of your life with him he’d still complain about missing you. You can’t call him out too much on it though–not when you feel the same, not when you thrive on it. 

“Can I cum?” Beomgyu asks breathlessly and you sneer down at him. “No.” 

He lets out a heart-broken moan, hand clenching at your thigh. “No. Please. Need to cum.”

"You don't deserve it. Stop." You say cooly, and he wails. "Please. I need to cum. I can’t–I can’t.”

His voice gets high and breathy, strung out, but you don’t care. No, you relish in it, knowing what you’ll make him do next. "Stop."

He cries out, shaking his head violently, not stopping. "No. No. I need it."

You can see how close he is. You can see his cock flushing red, his balls tightening and his precum pouring out of his head. You have to put a stop to it, physically removing his hands yourself, but as soon as you touch him he loses it, staining your belly with his cum. 

"Ah--ah--oh god–please touch me–please." He bucks his hips in the air, unable to reach you, and cries, tears pouring down his face. "I love you. I love you. Please use me. Please don't leave me.” 

You've never been this rough with Beomgyu and for a second you wonder if you're going too far, but he looks so fucked out by the way you’re being mean to him that you can’t back down now.

Still he is your sweetheart. He’ll always be your sweetheart and you can’t bear to see him in such distress, even if he brought it onto himself with his jealous and obsessive ways.

"Hush, Beomgyu." You murmur, grabbing his dick and jerking him off. He gasps from the overstimulation, his hooded eyes blowing wide as he grabs onto the sheets, but he doesn’t stop you, thrusting his hips up into your grip instead. 

"Ah–oh fuck–AHH–" 

"Cum for me, Beomgyu." Your hand blurs over his cock, wet slapping sounds filling the room as your fist collides with his balls on each downstroke. 

"Yes–princess–all for you." If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve found the sound of him calling you ‘princess’ the most natural thing in the world. As if he had always done it. As if he truly believes it. 

But it’s all just to get you to give him what he wants, and sadly, it works. You’re as weak for him as he is for you. It’s unhealthy–is what your friends have told you after his charms have worn off in their eyes, but you fear it would never wear off for you. You’re absolutely, sickeningly in love with him and that’s why you’ll always make excuses to let him do the crazy things he does to you and for you. 

And the things you do to him. 

Beomgyu looks spent after his orgasm and he tries to pull you down in his arms to cuddle, but you stop him. 

"Wait a second." You say, grabbing a few tissues and wiping yourselves off. 

His hold on you remains so tight you feel his heart beat furiously against your chest. "I'm sorry for what I’ve said. I just don't want you to work with him."

You look up at him, mind a little clearer now that you’re all wrapped up in his warmth, feeling safe in his embrace. 

"I will work with him. You need to get over your jealousy. I've had enough." You inform him simply. Yes, you’ve done nothing but entertain his delusions so far, but it’s high time for you to starting actually doing something about it. You know you’ll only be ruining yourself later if you don’t. Who knows what he’ll demand next if you let this go. For you to not talk to other men? To stop seeing your friends who are trying to tear you apart? To quit your job so you’d always be around him? No, you have to put your foot down now. 

Beomgyu looks so pissed off at what you’ve said, but he doesn’t say anything. He just holds you tightly, burying his face in your neck and gripping onto you so hard, you’re sure his fingers will leave marks. That’s fine. You’ll just wear something to cover the bruises. Just as long as you make this work. 

________________________________________

That night, you have another dream about prince Beomgyu, but this time a new character makes an appearance, and that is Lord Taehyun. 

"What are you doing here?" Dream Beomgyu bursts into your room, finding you and Taehyun together. 

"I came to visit the lady." Taehyun’s demeanor appears relaxed but you can see the tension around the edges of his mouth.

"Beomgyu, relax–" You try to calm him down, and he turns on you. "How long has he been here? Did he do anything to you?" 

“No, we just talked!” You snap, trying to yank your hand back from him but his grip is bruisingly-tight.“How did he get in?” 

“That’s none of your business.” You refuse to tell him but that just sets him off.

“You are my business.” He shouts, making Taehyun get up, “Let her go. You’re hurting her.” 

“Fuck you.” Beomgyu was becoming aggressive, and Taehyun looked quite on edge himself. You knew you had to be the one to de-escalate this situation before it exploded so you step closer to Beomgyu and hiss in his ear. “Get a grip, Beomgyu.” You hiss lowly at him then turn to Taehyun with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Taehyun. I need to talk to Beomgyu privately.” 

The dream ends there, and when you wake up in the morning, you make no mention of it to Beomgyu.

_____________________

A/N: Well its' finally here folks. Don't know how many chapter this will be but I hope you like it anyway.

[rafestar]

IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE | Rafe Cameron

WARNINGS: +18 smut, dominance, manipulation, cheating, fire, etc..

SUMMARY: the reader suspects rafe is a cheater and he wants her to trust him

A/N: this is my first story and english isn’t my first language so be polite. if there’s any mistake, i will gladly welcome any advice or help, enjoy♡

When I finally heard the keys in the door, it was my cue to fill myself with more frustration. It's currently 3AM, and like every week before, he's late.

He tells me not to worry and that it's just his father's company, which is having a lot of problems. Since Rafe is the boss, he is more distant, but he excuses himself by saying that he is the only one who can carry the Cameron name further.

I could understand it, until today.

"Honey? Why are you still up?"

I couldn't look into his eyes without feeling flames in them.

I get up from the sofa, trying to contain my anger and the tears that were about to flow down my cheeks.

He approaches me to try to kiss me, he always does it when he arrives. My first reflex was to pull him away.

"What's going on, love?"

He tries to get closer to me and grabs me by my arm.

"Don't... Don't call me that" tears get the best of me and finally fall.

“Y/N…”

"Late again, third week in a row" he lets go of my arm and sighs in frustration.

"Oh god… fuck off” he rolls his eyes. “We've had this conversation hundreds of times, Y/N”

Rafe takes off his jacket and walks across the room with his hands on his head. “I'm really trying… and you're not helping anything. Can't you see? I keep trying to recover from everything that happened…”

“Where have you been today?” He gives me a puzzled look as if it's not “obvious” where he's been.

"Are you really asking that?" he scoffs.

"Have you heard me?”

I can see him licking his cut lips, the smell of alcohol keeps coming even though he is a few meters from me.

"At the office…"

Before he could finish, I interrupted.

"You’re lying"

Confusion brushes his face and I can feel his chest tighten. "I don’t have time for this"

"Of course you don't have time... You never have time for me."

Rafe rolls his eyes and goes to pour himself a shot of whiskey, which was sitting on top of the fireplace.

He always does this when we argue. He always drinks when he is around me.

"You know what Rafe? I was... I was in your office at dinner time."

I watch him drop the bottle with a bang, and that makes me jump a little.

I watch as he straightens his back and his neck before grabbing the bottle again and drinking directly from it, setting the glass aside.

"Your receptionist said you weren't there, that you had left an hour ago"

Rafe takes a long sip and slowly turns to face me, leaning against the side of the fireplace.

"Stop being stupid, if it was dinner time, it was clear that I would not be there"

“She also said that you left the building with your secretary”

He scoffs, "She had to have dinner too, didn't she?"

I feel my cheeks heat up and he just looks at me as he laughs.

I feel my anxiety starting to consume me. My lungs are starved of oxygen and my throat is parched.

My legs, like my hands are shaking. I stagger over to the couch to sit down.

Rafe walks over to me, leaving the bottle on the table. I can see his concern, but it doesn't calm me down at all.

He kneels in front of me with his hands on my thighs.

"Please…" I sobbed. “…Stop doing this to me”

"I'm not doing anything, babe."

"You are! I'm so fucking tired of this! You don't understand that I miss you?!”

Rafe rests his head against my knee before kissing me on it. “You have… you have to understand my situation”

"Im trying Rafe, I really do"

Rafe gets up to sit next to me on the couch. His perfect blue eyes are watery, just like mine. His cheeks glow a bright red, and the air feels thick.

He grabs my hands and places his on my lap. The cold of mine, freezes his expression.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and places it on my hand.

"I want you to trust me"

"But…"

"Do it"

His lock screen is a pic of us on our first date. That makes tears come out of my eyes again. I feel the warmth of his hands as he cups my face to wipe away my tears.

“I trust you and you have to trust me Y/N… P-Please.” My lip quivers as I give him a slight nod.

I close my eyes as he kisses my forehead for a while. He pulls away and points to his phone.

My hands tremble. I want to trust him, but it doesn't mean that I'm not afraid. In the same way, I unlock the phone.

His hands have not stopped caressing my thighs, trying to calm my anxiety.

After a while of looking at his conversations, his photos, his social media… Nothing. There is nothing.

In his photos, he has folders with me, it is the only thing that can be highlighted. Some unimportant conversations with Kelce, with Topper, a missed call from Sarah, things about his company... but nothing more.

I hand the phone back to him as he gives me an honest look. "Now... do you trust me?"

My first response was to hug him tightly, until I couldn't feel my lungs, I just wanted to feel him.

“I'm sorry…” I feel so stupid.

His hands move up the fabric of my pajama top from behind, letting a shiver run down my spine. With his fingers, he runs up and down my back, following the same continuous pattern.

He places kisses on my head as he feels me sob. "That's it love, it's alright"

"I'm so sorry I didn't trust you... I-I thought that... you and your secr…"

Before I could finish, he breaks away from me and grabs my cheeks with his hands.

"Stop"

"I'm sorry"

“And stop saying sorry. I love you, more than anyone, you know it perfectly. And… and I don't want you to doubt it again. Never"

"I love you so much Rafe"

He crash our lips. The kiss is full of passion, with a noticeable taste of whiskey.

His hands are everywhere, all the way to my thighs, and he lifts me up onto his lap. I can feel both of our breaths quickening, and the kiss becomes deeper and more powerful, as if Rafe is starving for me.

One of his hands goes up to grab my neck and the other massages my ass, until he slaps me hard on it, making me jump and start grinding on him.

“Shit, Rafe…”

"Go on"

My hips grind against his lap, trying to get some friction. His hands move up to my breasts massaging them. He breaks the kiss to rip my top off.

He watches my breasts sway as I continue to move against him. “So fucking pretty”

He begins to give wet kisses to one of my breasts, continuing to massage the other. He takes my nipple between his teeth and I whimper in pleasure as I writhe on top of him. That makes one of his hands go to my hip to keep me in tune with how I was moving my hips earlier, grinding me into him.

He continues sucking on my breasts hungrily for them, my neck stretches up as my eyes roll back, and that gives him the opportunity to travel his lips down my neck leaving purple and red all over my exposed flesh.

But I want more, I need more.

“Rafe… p-please…” I cry.

"Hurts?"

“Mhm…” I hum.

"Tell me Y/N, where does it hurt?" he teases with that mischievous smile that always makes me melt over him.

"Below"

"Below?" he mocks. "where? here?"

He cups my intimacy with his hand while he looks deep into my eyes. "Please.."

"I've heard that before, be a big girl and tell me what you need."

He massages my clit over my shorts and I can see in his eyes that he has noticed how wet I am.

"You"

"Me?"

“Please..” i yelped as he lifted me over his shoulder, heading to our room.

He throws me down on the bed and quickly takes off my shorts, tossing them somewhere on the floor. "No panties" he bites his lower lip as he watches how wet I am.

"Always so wet for me, right?"

He slowly undresses his clothes, very slowly. I flinch as the metal of his belt brushes against my thigh. He likes to play with me, to see me suffer, and I love that he does it.

He continues passing the metal all over my body, until he drops it on the ground. He gets rid of the rest of his clothes and lunges at me like a predator hunting his prey.

I felt his hard erection in my hot center, so I tried to raise my hips to make more contact. Rafe kisses me hard as we both moan into each other's mouths.

“I want to keep watching you suffer, but I am so desperate to be inside you…”

And without warning, I feel a strong push inside of me. “Fuck Y/N… always so tight”

My walls pulses around him, and without any warning, he starts enters in me, hard. His thrusts are fast but hard. My hands clench to him tightly, my breath thick and my moans are loud.

Rafe bends my knees up to his shoulders. This position makes him feel it even more deeply.

"Do you like it? Feeling it so deep in you…” His fingers hook into my neck and he squeezes hard. “…Can your little pussy take me?”

My moans are louder cause of his dirty talk.

One last push until he flips me over. He enters me again, but this time harder. I scream and cry clutching the sheets under me.

"Rafe, shit!"

"That's it, baby."

He grabs both of my hands and holds them behind my back, supporting me only on my chest, until he pulls me further, and the only balance I maintain is on my knees. His thrusts are stronger and his hips ache against mine, but I don't want him to stop.

He grabs my neck to bring my back to his chest, and I feel both heartbeats pumping, as if we were one. One of my hands travels to the nape of his neck, and I tug hard on his hair. I tilt my head to the side and kiss him hard. While with his left he grabs my neck, and the other one goes down to my clit.

"Come on love, give it to me" he breaks the kiss between breaths.

He massages my clit but without letting go of his thrusts, I feel my orgasm approaching closer, while Rafe contracts against me.

"Rafe... I'm going to..."

“I know…”

His thrusts are stronger until I feel my euphoria consume me, and my orgasm arrive. We both do it at the same time, and our fluids come together inside me. Luckily I'm on the pill.

Rafe drops me onto the soft mattress and he falls on top of me.

We both calm our breaths, until he breaks the silence.

"Promise me you won't doubt me again."

"I promise"

[…]

Few hours pass, after cleaning ourselves and snuggling, I feel a sharp pain in my throat that makes me get up for a glass of water.

The cold of the room collides with my bare skin. It's not dawn yet, so it should be 6AM.

With my glass of water, I stop, leaning against the counter, until I hear a noise in Rafe's jacket.

Confusion brushes my face, as his phone is on the table next to the tv.

I reach for the jacket and rummage through the pockets. I gasp when the first thing I pull out… is another phone.

“Please… no, no, no…”

It's similar to the one he left me last night, but this one doesn't have us as wallpaper. It's just a certain lock screen of the phone itself.

I try to unlock him using various significant dates for him. But nothing.

The only one I didn't put was… bingo.

Wheezie's birthday.

The blood stops running through my body when the most recent notification is from his secretary. A pic, to be exact.

"Promise me you won't doubt me again"

I tried to convince myself that it will be something related to the company, but disappointment does not take long to appear.

Indeed, it was a nude.

I review the conversation and it was all…sexting.

I keep checking the conversations on this phone and they were all with girls, all of them.

I don't feel sadness or pain.

Instead, I feel rage and anger.

I decide not to look anymore and start to gather some of my things trying not to make noise.

I take a last look at what it was, my bed, and I see how Rafe sleeps peacefully.

Lot of angel sculpture for the devil that lives inside.

I take my things out of the apartment, and before I close the door, something, maybe kind of psychotic, crosses my mind.

I go back inside and thank his brain for not downing the entire bottle of whiskey. I start spreading it all over the floor, until everything is drenched in alcohol.

I open a cabinet and take out some matches. I light a few at a time, and throw them on the floor.

I go down to the outer parking lot, where my car was located and as I pull away, I watch up as my apartment and my love, go up in flames.

♡

[eightstarr]

omg hello my favorite writer!

now that we know how doctor abby x reader, we gotta know the lore with loser!ellie <333

hello my favorite girl! here is the origin story <3

ellie's in the middle of facetiming jesse (they call each other during their lunch breaks every single day, they're like each other's human version of a youtube video to eat with) when she sees you walk behind him, notice his phone and lean down to flash her a quick smile with the cutest wave she's ever seen and then promptly disappear. ellie flinches and straightens her back. her hand shoots up, holding the phone at what she thinks is a more flattering angle than the way she'd been holding it basically on her lap before. but you're gone before she could even wave back.

jesse raises his eyebrows at her pale face. "did you just realize you have to shit or something?" 

"shut the fuck up," ellie hisses, her voice in a rushed whisper even though jesse is wearing headphones and you're clearly not around anymore. "who was that?" 

"what? oh," jesse introduces you by name, says something about knowing you from high school. "she started working here like a month ago, so that's been fun."

ellie can't believe that he's known you for that long and hasn't mentioned you once before. "what the fuck is wrong with you?" she asks him. and she'll keep asking him periodically for the next several months— which she spends stalking your instagram, squinting her eyes at the background behind jesse everytime he calls (in case you're there) and casually visiting him at work when she's feeling bold.

she has her first real conversation with you one summer when you're both at a party on some guy's backyard. you compliment her jorts and tell her she's funny and ellie thanks god that she's just drunk enough to be cognitive and herself but also not overwhelmingly aware of every single thing that's happening. she leaves with your number on her phone (oh my god) and your gloss sticky on her cheek (oh my god????)

i'm sorry to say that you don't actually kiss until at least a whole year later though!! ellie's convinced that you just wanna be friends and she loves being your friend so so much, she wouldn't change it for the world! but also she does think about kissing you every night but she won't even hint at it until she thinks that you might be interested.

and she's really so fucking good at hiding it! ellie can be sneaky and i think we should talk about it more. like you don't even know if she fucks tbh but she has to be fucking, right??? she's so hot?? there has to be someone and she's just not telling you about it. it's not until you know her really well that you realize she's more open with you than she is with most people in her life and if there was someone she would tell you and now that you think about it why does she always always always make time for you, that's crazy!! what does that mean!!! you don't know because she's insane and doesn't register the way you look at her with hearts in your eyes as anything but friendly, so she's determined to respect your wishes and keep being your friend. you definitely end up kissing her first. it's worth it though <3

[genericpuff]

I can't remember exactly what chapter but early on when Persephone went to talk to Hades during the "one day of the year the citizens get to see their king and file complaints" and side lines it (and the citizens time) to talk about Tori and Alex and his missing eye and they eat lunch... didn't Hades just conjure food instead of making them lunch or am I misremembering?

so this ask sent me on a bit of a ride because i went to go find the scene you were talking about, i knew exactly where it was but i had actually completely FORGOTTEN about the whole lunch bit that came with it

and oh, my fucking god-

MAN'S IS EATING AN ENTIRE STEAK ALL TO HIMSELF. AND HE GIVES HER JUST A COUPLE PASTRIES ???

and yes, he does basically magic it out of nowhere because he casts an 'illusion' to change her outfit and they're basically in a secret room right now. So he definitely didn't prepare this by hand or ahead of time (unless he lied about the whole 'illusion' thing and he really did knock her out and change her clothes against her will, oh god no-) And yet despite this being the "woman of his dreams", he STILL feeds her like a squirrel.

This is more proof as to why Persephone was never plus-sized rep and is written purely through the male gaze. For some reason Rachel is DEAD SET AGAINST feeding this poor girl or letting her chew food onscreen, and that's just the BARE MINIMUM of like, healthy fucking behavior.

Seriously, stop reading this post RIGHT NOW and ask yourself, "When has Persephone actually eaten a meal onscreen?"

Go ahead, I'll wait.

THAT'S RIGHT. SHE NEVER HAS.

The CLOSEST we've ever gotten to her eating a meal was that time she ordered takeout (fucking Chinese takeout???) and we never actually see her eating it. She's stirring it around in one panel and then by the end of the conversation, the food is gone.

Even in scenes where you'd think she'd be eating, like in the scene where she stays at Hera's for dinner, they come up with some random excuse as to why she can't have a full meal.

(I just noticed writing this up btw that they're all eating the same thing she is so why are they so apologetic as if they're all feasting on meat and she's just eating lettuce and cheese??? But it looks like all they're eating is greens and toast, what the fuck is happening-)

It's astounding to me at all that a Greek family wouldn't have anything more in the house for a vegetarian to eat than lettuce and halloumi. Need I remind you that Greek food is Mediterranean, it is primarily vegetarian. Beans, veggies, fruit, breads, and cheeses make up much of the foundation of Greek food so why don't they have anything else in the house; and why in the world is Zeus being all judgmental over her being vegetarian when most of what he eats - AND WHAT HE'S LITERALLY GOT ON HIS PLATE RIGHT NOW - is vegetarian???

And when she DOES eat, it's always the tiniest morsels, like she's a squirrel or a delicate little baby who's never seen food before and whose teeth haven't grown in yet. She'll be holding utensils, she'll have a plate in front of her, but will she eat the food? Will there even be food on the plate?

Anything we see her legitimately consume is juice. Happy little baby needs her juice, her sippy sip.

This is honestly so indicative of how Americanized LO is. From the lack of actual Greek food to vegetarianism being treated like an inferior diet to the main female character not being allowed to even CHEW food onscreen let alone eat, like... what year is it ??? Being a vegetarian isn't a radical idea anymore, and for fuck's sakes, Greek food is readily available even in North America so it shouldn't be this hard to get right! Can we please throw out this 1950's misogyny bullshit of the man stuffing his face with steak while the woman eats nothing but grapefruit skins, hard boiled eggs, and wine??

NO, SHE HASN'T. SHE HASN'T BEEN EATING ENOUGH, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HER EAT A GODDAMN MEAL ONCE SINCE SHE LEFT THE MORTAL REALM. CALL SOMEONE.

NO DON'T FALL FOR THE DISTRACTION PERSEPHONE, IT'S A PLOY TO KEEP YOU FROM EATING, PLEASE JUST TAKE ONE BITE YOU'RE SO CLOSE-

YOUR DAUGHTER IS HUNGRY. SHE SCREAMS FOR THE CHICKEN NUGGER. FEED HER.

[dreamofbecoming]

part two, this one is still mostly stobin and pre-steddie. the first part does provide some context, although i imagine you could figure most of it out yourself, but i'd recommend reading it first anyway!

ao3

part 1

platonic stobin, mentions of steddie

rating: t

wc: 3k

---

The conversation dies down and Steve goes back to filling bottles to hand off to Robin, eyes on Dustin where he's still goofing off with Munson. Good, he should get to have as much fun as he can. This is what he should be doing. What they should all be doing. Steve hates that these kids have to be fucking…soldiers so much of the time. He hates that he can't do anything to shield them from it. Not that they'd let him if he could.

Maybe Robbie has a point, about regular teenage life stuff being pointless right now, but god, what the fuck? Why should it have to be? He's 19! He can't even buy a drink yet! Robin is still in high school!

Fuck it. They should get to be kids and think about stupid pointless stuff, too.

"So I know you said you didn't want to talk about your love life, which is fair, but if I keep thinking about dying I'm gonna lose my shit, so you wanna talk about mine?"

She raises an eyebrow at him. "Oh, are we talking about how fucking weird shit has been between you and Nancy?"

Ah, fuck, that backfired almost immediately.

"What? No. Definitely not. Ok, it's been weird, but it's not a thing, ok?" She looks even more skeptical than before. "It's not! I mean, ok, maybe it is," she snorts at him, which. Rude. "But it's just like. Regular weirdness, ok?"

"What the fuck is regular weirdness?"

"You know, like, exes who haven't talked in a while in a high-pressure situation weirdness. The kind of weirdness anyone would be having in our shoes. Normal weirdness!" He throws his hands in the air, agitated.

Munson looks over at the sound of his raised voice, lifting an eyebrow and smirking. What is it with everyone raising their eyebrows at him today? He's being normal! Normal and regular! It's not his fault everything around them is weird and that makes his normal look weird by comparison. He's not doing anything wrong, so get off his nuts already! Geez!

Steve isn't sure how much of that very normal and regular monologue shows on his face, but it must be some because he can see Munson laughing at him as he goes back to playing keepaway with Dustin's hat. Bastard.

"Ugh! No, I don't want to talk about Nance. Like I really super don't. There's nothing there, it's done, it's over, there's nothing to say."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to talk about that debacle in the bus either. Six kids, Steve? Really?" Oh Jesus. He was really hoping no one had heard that.

"Bobbie, please, why are you torturing me?" He rarely deploys the Sad Eyes on Robin, mostly because they don't work especially well on her, which is insane, because they work like an atom bomb on literally everyone else. He may have left King Steve behind him, but he has plenty of skills left over from those days, not to mention he looks as good as he always has. He knows what he's working with, ok?

Anyways, this is a moment to pull out the big guns, which means Sad Eyes are a go.

As usual, they aren't as effective on Robbie as they are on other people, but she does know him well enough to realize that if he's pulling them out, it's out of desperation, so she takes pity on him anyway. Whatever. He'll take the win.

She sighs, and rolls her eyes indulgently, but she's smiling just a little. He can tell. God, he loves her. He'd burn the world down for her, is maybe going to have to. He doesn't know what he'd do without her.

"Alright, bubba, I'll bite. You want to talk about your love life, but you don't want to talk about Nancy. Whatcha got for me?"

And, oh. Shit. This is the part where he's going to have to say it out loud. He hadn't planned this far, mostly was just anxious to get the swirling feeling in his chest out into Robbie's hands because he knows she can keep it safe, mostly just trying to wipe that awful, scared, defeated look off her face, but now he has to actually do the thing. He has to say it out loud, on purpose, the way he hasn't since that day in her bedroom when his whole world shifted a little to the left, and she was the only thing holding him steady.

Fuck. Ok. He can do this. It's just Rob. No one else is close enough to hear them, and Robin will always keep him safe. She'll never let him be alone.

"So, uh. You know the, uh, the thing? That we talked about that one time?"

"Yeah, we talk every day, I'm gonna need a bit more than that, bubs."

"The, uh. The thing we decided we didn't have to talk about right away? Because it wasn't important? Or, no, it was important, but it wasn't, um. What did you say? Relevant. It wasn't relevant to my everyday life?"

"Relevant to your…oh! Oh shit! The thing! The thing we talked about! That thing!" Her eyes are wide and so so blue and her hands are flailing a little, like she wants to pat him down for injury even though that's not remotely helpful. He carefully takes the bottle out of her hand and stuffs the rag into it himself, setting it on the ground where she can't dump gasoline on herself. She smiles a little sheepishly.

"So what about the, uh, the thing?" She lowers her voice like she's in a goddamn spy movie, leaning close and waggling her eyebrows. She's so ridiculous. He loves her so much.

He gives her a pointed look. She shakes her head in response, looking confused. Jesus fuck, she's gonna make him say it.

He tries one more time, bobbing his head at her to try and make his facial expression more forceful. He doesn't miss his old crowd, really, he doesn't. He does, however, occasionally miss being around people who were constantly alert for even the smallest social shifts, who he could have a whole conversation with using nothing but subtle changes to the shape of his mouth or the width of his eyes. He loves Robin and Dustin more than life, would kill or die for them, has proven it several times over, but Christ on a cracker they wouldn't know a social cue if it whacked them in the head with a hammer.

She's still furrowing her brow at him, so he sighs, and gives in. "I think it's maybe become…relevant. I promised to tell you right away, remember?"

Her eyes go even wider than before, and she thwaps him in the chest with the back of her hand. Hard. Ow.

"Dingus!" She's whisper-shouting, but he still doesn't think anyone is close enough to hear. "What the hell!"

"Ow, Robbie, Jesus, watch the open wounds!"

She flutters her hands around his middle, like she can fix his bandages through his jacket. She does look apologetic, so that's something.

"Sorry, sorry, fuck, sorry! Are you ok? Sorry. Just, what the hell! What? Who? When?!"

He smirks at her. "What, no why or how?"

"I'm going to set you on fire with one of these cocktails if you don't start talking, Dingus, I swear to god!"

He's laughing, she's so much fun to rile up. God, he hopes he doesn't have to miss this. He hopes he gets to keep this much, at least, when they're done. He'll probably go crazy otherwise.

"Ok, ok, I won't tease, I'm sorry. So I guess, to answer your questions, uh…I found a boy to crush on, who the hell do you think, and I promised to tell you right away, didn't I?" He counts them down on his fingers while he answers them, because if he can't act like a little shit to her then honestly, what is even the point?

"Right away…holy shit. Holy shit! Steve!" She looks frantically out at the field, where Munson has now knocked Henderson over and is sitting on him, wearing his hat and crowing victory, while Dustin flails wildly on the ground. Thank fuck neither of them are looking this way, because holy hell she isn't subtle.

"Robbie, don't look, what the hell! Do you want him to know we're talking about him?"

"Oh, so we are talking about him? Eddie "The Freak" Munson?"

He cringes a little at the reminder of his earlier dismissal. "Alright, ok, so I maybe didn't give him much of a chance at first, but the Upside Down changes things, you know that! It did for us, right?"

She looks thoughtful. "I guess, yeah. So go on, loverboy, what do you like about him?" She's grinning and waggling her eyebrows again. Ugh, this may have been a mistake. She does owe him for the Tammy Thompson thing. Still, there's no one alive he'd rather talk about this with, and he has to talk to someone, or he's going to explode, and they have a…wizard…demon…thing…guy to kill. Whatever. They have killing to do, so he needs to get this off his chest so it's not clogging up his brain.

"He has…really nice eyes. And really nice hands." Robin lets out a soft "Oh, ew," before he glares at her and she motions for him to go on. "He's funny, and weird but in like, a charming way? Kind of like you, but different. The way Dustin is weird and charming like you, but different, you know?"

"You have a thing for nerds, Dingus."

"Ugh, maybe, yeah." His mind drifts back to Eddi- Munson. Gotta keep calling him Munson, at least until they get out of this. Can't afford to be distracted. "He's scared out of his mind, but he's coming along anyway, which is the kind of brave and stupid this whole group kind of runs on. He thinks he's a coward but he's not. Going back to school instead of dropping out is brave. Trusting us is brave. Acting like he does even when everyone hates him for it is brave. I wish I had been brave enough to do that, you know? Maybe I would have dropped the King shit earlier. And he's good with the kids, which you know I'm weak for. I don't know, Robs, I just…I want him to like me, you know? I want him to be impressed by me. Is that stupid?"

When he looks up, Robin's eyes are wide and shiny. She looks surprised, and a little scared. That's not good, probably, but he can't take back anything he said. He meant all of it.

"It's not stupid, bubba, it's not stupid at all. I guess I was thinking…I don't know. That it was like an adrenaline thing? Like a 'you're hot, we're in danger, I'd rather think about making out with you than dying' kind of thing? Like what Nancy was clearly doing with you earlier, you know?"

"Ugh, Robbie, I so don't want to talk about Nancy right now, please," he groans.

"Yeah yeah, I know, whatever. I just mean, it doesn't really sound like that's what's going on with you, for Eddie, right now. It kinda sounds like you, you know, like like him."

"Like like him? What are we, 12?"

"You know what I mean, Dingus, it just sounds like there are actual feelings here, not just sexy thoughts."

He shifts a little on his stool, feeling kind of exposed, but it's ok. It's just Robin. "I mean, yeah, I guess I kinda do? Have feelings. Or maybe I will? I'm kind of trying to hold them off, I guess, until we get out of here, you know? I barely know the guy, honestly, but also every time this happens I end up bonded for life to someone new, so why not him this time? I mean, the first time with the demogorgon even got me and Nancy back together, and we were like, donezo, for real, after that thing Tommy did to The Hawk. This shit is better than superglue, you know?"

Robin barks out a laugh. She squares her shoulders and puts on her best announcer voice. "Do you have trouble making friends? Looking to join a new crowd, but can't find a way in? Try Hell Beasts! Our near-death experience package will create lasting trauma that will bind you together forever! There's no escape now!"

The two of them collapse into giggles, drawing the eyes of several their friends scattered around the field.

When she composes herself, Robin gives him a soft smile. It's one of his favorites. Almost no one ever sees it but him, and not very often. "Well, I guess we had better all make it out of this in one piece, then, huh? So we can do all our sad gay pining together."

"I dunno, I think maybe I have a shot," he says thoughtfully, eyeing Edd- no, stop it, Munson, where he's flopped on the grass next to Dustin, chatting happily.

Robin boggles at him. "What the fuck do you mean, a shot? Are you- oh god, are you just gonna tell him? Steve!"

"Wh- Not right away or anything! And not for sure! I have to figure out if he's flagging on purpose first!"

"If he's whatting on what?"

"Oh come on, you remember that one zine that talked about the, uh. The whats it. The code! The hanky code, that was it!" He snaps his fingers in victory, triumphant.

She's still looking at him like he's grown a second head though, so maybe not.

"I don't know, maybe you skipped that one? From what I could tell it was more about men anyway. I think they mentioned that ladies use, uh, caribou. The clip things, you know?"

"Caribeeners? Dingus what the hell are you talking about?"

"It's this thing, right? That like, gay people, gay men, I guess, use to like, signal each other, kind of. It's basically like, you wear a hanky in your pocket, and what color it is and what pattern is printed on it and which pocket you wear it in tells people what kind of sex you like."

Robin looks even more shocked, if that's possible. "What does that even mean, what kind of sex you like?"

Oh, right. Lesbian virgin. Fair enough. "Like, do you like to uh. Give, if you know what I mean. Or receive. Do you like blowjobs, or handjobs, or like. I dunno, weird stuff. Like spit or whatever."

She's waving her hands frantically, her face screwed up. "Ahhhh lalalala that's enough! That's plenty of information, thank you!" He holds up his hands in surrender. She asked.

"Anyway, what does all of...that...have to do with you having a shot with," she switches back to her not-at-all-subtle stage whisper, "Eddie?"

"Haven't you noticed he's had that bandana in his pocket the whole time?" She whips her head around so fast he's surprised he doesn't hear her neck crack. Jesus, Robin.

"Would you chill out? You're going to make him look over here and then I'll have to let Vecna eat me because there's no way I'll survive the humiliation if he hears us, Robin!"

She glares at him. "Don't even joke about that, Dingus. You're making it out alive or I'll kill you myself."

He knows he's smiling adoringly at her, and if Henderson is looking he's never, ever beating those "in love with Robin" allegations, but whatever. "Noted, Buckley."

"So, what, you think he might be...like us? 'Cause of the bandana?"

"I mean, maybe, yeah? I might be crazy, but I also feel like he was definitely flirting with me earlier. Like in the Upside Down, and also at the trailer, you know?"

"Now that I think about it, that "Big Boy" thing was super weird. I figured it was just Eddie being Eddie, they call him The Freak for a reason, right? But I guess that could have been called flirting."

"Right? That's what I thought! And when we were down there, he was like, all up in my space, and he gave me his vest, and he seemed annoyed when I talked to Nance, even though he was trying to push me back to her. Which was insane, I didn't tell you this part Robs, oh my god. I was fully staring at his lips, just laser focused, like I would be on a girl I want to kiss, right? And he won't stop telling me how Nancy is definitely still in love with me and I should get her back! What the hell! Who does that? So I don't know," he sighs, feeling a little lost. "Maybe he isn't into me after all. But I have to at least check, right?"

"I mean, I don't think I'm the right person to ask about that, bubba, but if it goes sideways, I'll burn his house down if you want." She wiggles a molotov cocktail at him, grinning.

"Jesus, Bobbin, alright. Let's, uh. Let's call that Plan B, yeah?"

"Roger that, captain!" She gives him a stupid little salute, and for a moment he's back at Scoops, before everything went shit-shaped, but she's still his Robin, and they're safe and alive and nothing hurts.

And then he blinks again and he's sitting on an overturned bucket in front of a stolen RV, making molotov cocktails with his soulmate, watching his baby brother and the guy he might maybe sort of have a crush on tussle in the grass, hoping against hope they all live to see morning.

He picks up another bottle.

part 3

[magicalqueennightmare]

It Works

(Not my gif)

(Eventual) Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

When Kol tells you of a conversation he overheard you go to confront Elijah.

Never once in your life had you ever been accused of being the smartest person on the block. You were hot headed, impulsive and stubborn. You acted before you thought half of the time and this was one of those moments you could practically hear every person you knew groaning about your temper as you stormed into the doors of the Mikaelson compound.

Klaus was the first to the door, no doubt having been closest and expected a threat from the fact that you didn't knock and the door had slammed against the wall when you walked in. “Hello Love. To what do we owe the pleasure”

You stopped a few feet from him and crossed your arms over your chest. “Is what Kol said true?” A smirk slipped onto his face “You'll have to excuse my confusion. Kol says a lot of things” you waved a hand around “That Elijah frickin tracked me down on a hunt! To what end? He watched me take on two okami, didn't help and just left me there without another word!”

You weren't sure how to react when Klaus honest to god laughed. When you looked at him like he'd grown a second head he shrugged one shoulder,his face sobering a bit. He spoke your name almost proudly, you raised an eyebrow and he was the one to motion around the room “You come storming in here, alone and angry enough to not make anyone aware of your presence beforehand which is dangerous enough then you don't blink an eye demanding answers of me. I can see why my brother fancies you”

“Cut the shit Klaus. You know I care about Rebekah. She's my friend, vampire or not she is, but I'm not a fucking pet for you Mikaelsons. I'm not something to amuse any of you. I need to know what Elijah's game is. Why follow me? Why not even tell me he was there? Why does he insist on barely speaking to me as if my mere presence is overwhelming despite the fact that he sought me out to go to the ball, despite the fact that he always manages to know wherever I am in this God forsaken city I moved to”

Klaus took a step towards you and when you didn't give any ground he smiled “I can't speak for him. He should be here any time and I will gladly stay for the spectacle of you confronting him but know I myself don't see you as a pet, amusing yes but simply because of that rage you carry. You would make a marvelous vampire” he smiled widely letting his fangs slip out just a bit “and an even better hybrid”

You shook your head “put the fangs away Klaus. I wouldn't let you near my neck under the best of circumstances” he grinned “Now that is a shame indeed” You shook your head despite the anger you'd been feeling moments before and wondered briefly if Klaus had found a way around your tattoo or maybe you'd just needed to get things off your chest and the temper mental hybrid had just been the one who got the blunt of it.

—---------

You heard footsteps and knew it was Elijah even before he walked cautiously through the still open door. He greeted you then Klaus before looking between the two of you “Did I interrupt something?”

Klaus held your gaze almost as if in a challenge. Damn him he was enjoying this, little brothers always loved having a leg up on their older brothers you guessed regardless of age or species.

You fully turned to face Elijah and froze. Since the moment you met him Elijah wore suits. Well tailored suits that would make your knees weak but damn him the man was now wearing a dark gray henley under a fitted jacket and black jeans. The slight smirk that slipped onto his face at your attention only made things worse.

You were supposed to be angry, a bit betrayed even but every thought slipped out of your mind. Those brown eyes held you in place and for a moment you had trouble remembering what had brought you to the Mikaelson home to begin with until Klaus slung an arm around your shoulders “We would like to know why you tracked her down on a hunt!”

The smirk quickly slipped from Elijah's face “I told Rebekah Kol was eavesdropping” your eyes widened at his words “REBEKAH KNEW?”

Klaus still had his arm over your shoulders and you could hear him tsk tsk “Brother, keeping secrets from her and from me I see” a flash of anger went through Elijah's eyes “Niklaus, can you allow us a few moments alone to speak?”

“If she asks me to” you turned your head just enough to look at Klaus “Please” he nodded “Very well love. Just holler if I'm needed”

—---------

You watched Klaus walk out of the room and then turned back to Elijah “Care to explain? Because right now? I want to know why you tracked me down, watched me take on two okami solo mind you then didn't even tell me you were there?”

You did your best to push down the attraction you felt for Elijah and instead to pull up that anger you'd thrown at Klaus. “Perhaps I wanted to ensure you weren't dead” you crossed your arms “Bullshit. I was only gone for a few days. Tell me the truth Elijah”

He walked towards you and for a moment you considered backing up but a big part of you refused to humor that thought. You wouldn't give ground to Klaus or Elijah. Yeah they could very well kill you and now with the initial humiliation driven anger fading the reality of this being the first time you'd been to the Mikaelson compound alone and the first time you'd been alone around Elijah drove home.

“I was unsure if you could handle what your job entails. Yes I did not intervene because as Rebekah has said that is your life and your decision to be a hunter. I just had to see for myself if you could truly handle being intertwined with this family” What happened to Klaus saying Elijah fancied you? Was that Klaus lying or was this Elijah lying? You nodded slowly “So it was what? To ensure I wasn't a safety threat to the Mikaelsons? Little human me?”

You could see the mask fall back into place. Every time you got close to figuring Elijah out that mask would fall. You'd heard stories from Rebekah of their mother's wrong doings and a certain red door. You should be afraid of him yet you weren't. He gave a small nod so you smiled humorlessly “Good to know”

—--------

You decided at that moment if he wanted to pull a mask down so could you. You had years worth of practice hiding your emotions under layers of sass and vague threats. You may not have the years he did but you had always been quick to think on your toes so you plastered the closest thing to a real smile you could muster before saying “And you also now know I can hold my own against supernatural beings so even better”

He chuckled lightly “That I do. I must admit I was impressed” you bowed your head mockingly “Here's hoping I never have to go toe to toe with you however if you're ever up for sparring it may be fun” a grin spread across his face but before he could say anything else your phone started ringing. You dug it out of your jacket pocket and saw Alicia's name “I've got to take this. Tell Klaus I said bye and tell Bek I'll see her later”

The next few weeks passed with a repertoire forming between you and Elijah. Light flirting, lots of sarcasm and some veiled threats abounded. It worked because it made your attraction to him less awkward and took away a source of amusement for Klaus.

You had found balance in your life. Between hunting and your friends in that world and being close with the Mikaelsons. It worked so why question it?

Why

[runningfrom2am]

Hiii if it’s okay, can I request a jj x pogue!reader? Where they are in a secret relationship.. but right before a kegger they get into a fight and ignore each other, then a girl starts flirting with jj and he fake flirts back to make the Pogues not suspicious about your relationship but reader gets insecure and thinks jj is honest with his flirting and she gets upset, walks away idk, you can think of the ending haha hope this makes sense 😊

okay YES i love this so much omg.

tysm for sending this to me! i'm honoured that you trusted me with this and i hope it's what you pictured!

requests are open! send me something here.

join my taglist here

proving a point - (j.m)

pairing: jj x pogue!reader

warnings/tags: strong language, alcohol consumption/abuse, established (secret) relationship, that's p much it??

wc: 1.9k

"Christ, JJ! Since when do you give a shit how much I drink? At an actual party?" You yell, dropping your hands from where they were rubbing the sides of your head in frustration.

"Since I had to drag you out of the driver's seat of your shitty car that's hardly drivable in the best of times! Fuck, like, I just don't want you to kill yourself or get arrested if I'm not babysitting you for five fucking seconds! I don't think I'm being crazy, here!" Your boyfriend shouts back, leaving you both staring at each other in his messy and quiet living room.

You scoff, shaking your head and crossing your arms over your chest. "Why's it matter to you so much anyways? Not like we have any points to prove, right? God forbid we show our friends we care about each other- that we love each other. That would just be too much, wouldn't it?"

JJ rolls his eyes, taking off his hat and turning it back the way he always does when he's about to do something risky, in the way that usually makes your heart skip a beat. This time it just makes your anger spike. "You're right. Fuck it. I'll mind my business, you black out and drive into a tree. Hit another car and kill the driver. See if I give a fuck."

"I'm not gonna drive to the boneyard, JJ. You're so fucking dense sometimes- seriously! John B is driving all of us, do you actually think I'm stupid enough to steal the Twinkie?" You retort, gesturing with one arm in the general direction of where John B's house is.

"Sometimes, yeah!" JJ laughs dryly, nodding at you.

"Oh, right. Gotcha." You nod sarcastically. "Is that why we can't tell them? Are you embarrassed because your girlfriend is stupid and gets drunk at parties? Please- I'd love to know."

"That's not why and you know it, Y/N." JJ rolls his eyes, pacing the living room now.

"Whatever you say. I'll see you tonight." You mumble, heading for the door and slamming it behind you.

You trudge your way out to your car and drive off, fighting back the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. He didn't mean that. He couldn't have.

By the time John B arrives with the rest of your friends to pick you up on the way to the boneyard, you've managed to down three drinks to get a good buzz going before you have to see JJ again. Putting on your brave face as you close your front door behind you, you smile as you approach the van, and the back door slides open, revealing Pope and Kie in the back.

"Y/N!" Kie grins, moving over to give you some room.

"Hey, guys!" You smile, closing the door behind you as John B is already peeling out. You steady the drink in your hand, making very brief eye contact with JJ over his shoulder in the passenger seat. His eyes landing on the drink in your hand don't go unnoticed as Kie and Pope continue the conversation you were assuming they were having before you jumped in.

It isn't long after you arrive that there are kids from all over the island at the kegger, sharing drinks and yelling listening to distant music with a big bonfire raging on the sand. You sway a little with your arm placed over Kie's shoulder, both trying to steady yourselves as you talk with some other pogues you don't see very often between everyone's busy work schedules.

"Hey, wait, you guys are close with Maybank, right?" The blonde girl standing in front of you asks, attempting to whisper but the alcohol in all of your systems is preventing it.

"Yeah." You nod, looking around for him, spotting him by the fire.

"Is he single still?" She asks, and you try to suppress a laugh. Luckily, Kie isn't able to stop hers for a completely different reason.

"That hot mess? Of course he is." Kie laughs, reaching out and tapping the girl's shoulder playfully. "You're funny."

You bite your tongue, actively fighting against the glare you want to give her. You disguise it by laughing awkwardly along with Kie.

"Oh my god, how? He's so hot, are you kidding?" She giggles, shaking her head at you guys.

"Well, you don't know him like we do." You say, shrugging a little and hoping she doesn't pick up on the bitterness in your tone. She doesn't even have a shot- you're confident of that much. You and JJ love each other, even if you fight sometimes. You'll make up within the week, just like last time.

"Well, it's worth a shot." She laughs and Kie nods, pointing JJ out to her in the crowd.

The girl asks you to wish her luck as she walks off, adjusting her shirt and pulling it down slightly as she walks over to him. You bite your tongue to keep yourself from grinding your teeth together. "Kie, wanna go watch this trainwreck?" You ask, leaning into her like you're joking and she nods.

"Oh, god, yes." She laughs, and the both of you cling onto each other as you walk your way over, keeping enough distance so the girl JJ is now talking to doesn't catch on that you're listening. They're not alone, there's loads of people around, including John B and Pope who were already at JJ's side, just watching as the girl leans into your boyfriend and he drapes his arm over her shoulder, leaning down to listen closely to what she has to say.

"What are you drinking?" She asks him, tilting her head to look into his cup and then back up at him.

"Just beer." He shrugs. "Why, you want to try it? Might be a little strong for you." He teases her, making you tense up.

"Oh, please." She giggles, grabbing the cup from him and downing it, tossing the cup on the ground.

"Fuck the beaches, I guess." You mutter to Kie, who also looks displeased at her actions. You need Kie to know you're upset- to take your side even if she doesn't really know what's going on.

"That's gross." Kie says, a sour look on her face now.

"Damn, you're a crazy one, aint'cha?" JJ says, squeezing her shoulders before dropping his arm down her back, grabbing her by the waist. With his friends keeping a close eye on him, he doesn't want them to suspect anything. He finds it hard enough as it is to keep his hands off you in front of them in the soberest of times, forget when either of you have been drinking. He's coping by convincing himself it's you under his arm, not this random girl he's only entertaining to prove a point to any prying eyes. Which, unfortunately, happens to be yours.

"I... I've gotta go. Uh.. yeah." You say,  wiggling out from Kie's grasp and stumbling off down the beach, struggling to make distance with your shoes in the thick sand.

Maybe he did mean it when he said that he thinks you're stupid. Maybe he is embarrassed- and maybe this is his immature way of showing you that you're done. That you're not worth it anymore.

"You okay?" Kie calls after you.

"Just have to pee." You make a quick excuse, not looking back to make sure she doesn't see that you're so visibly upset. JJ saw, however.

You make it up to where John B parked the Twinkie, the back packed with sleeping bags and random blankets and pillows in case any of you couldn't bum a ride home with someone else.

You find yourself shaking as the world spins around you and you polish off your cup, collapsing back against the far side of the vehicle and sliding down, curling your knees up to your chest as your body is wracked with your sobs. You can't stop it now. You've lost the boy you knew was the love of your life- who you thought was the love of your life.

You let yourself cry, comfortable enough with your drunkenness and distance from the party that no one can hear you as you crush the plastic cup in your hands, shaking and trying to ground yourself. 

You eventually drop the cup, resigning to burying your face in your hands.

"Baby?" Your head snaps up when you hear a familiar voice, and when you open your eyes JJ is kneeling in front of you, reaching for your wrists to pull your hands away from your face. "Y/N/N, hey, c'mere..." He says, his tone soft and comforting despite what you just saw.

"I saw you, J! I saw that! You can't-" You sniffle, wiping your nose on your sleeve. "You can't come here and act like we're not done."

"What? Baby, no, it's not like that- I just, I didn't want the boys to see me shove her off they'd ask questions. You know me." JJ chuckles a little at the end, trying to cheer you up but failing miserably. "I'm sorry. Hey, look at me. I'm sorry, I took it too far. We're not done, I love you, you know that." He says seriously, locking eyes with you and rubbing your wrists with his thumbs.

You shake your head, laughing slightly. "No- this is my fault, I'm being stupid." You insist. "It's fine, JJ. I get it."

"Shit." He sighs, dropping his head defeatedly. He knows you. He knows how you internalize things and he knew as soon as he said it earlier in the day that he would regret his impulsive answer when he said he thought that sometimes you were stupid. He meant irresponsible; he meant that you don't worry about your own safety as much as he wishes you would, but in the heat of the moment he couldn't articulate that. "You're not being stupid. I was being a dick."

"A little." You admit, laughing softly. You hate fighting, you're tired of it, and you want him to not take your stupid overreactions too seriously. "I am being stupid though."

"No, you're not. You couldn't be as stupid as me if you tried." JJ insists, dropping one of your hands to reach up and brush a tear from your cheek. "I just worry about you and I'm sorry I touched her. To be honest, I'm a little pissed she stole my drink. She's annoying as shit, too."

This makes you giggle, meeting his eyes again. "There's that smile..." He whispers, brushing his thumb over your cheek again.

You lean a little into his hand. It's impossible to stay mad at him, and you know he meant what he said about her. "You know what? Fuck it. Can we tell everyone?" JJ asks suddenly, catching you off guard.

"I- well..." You ponder it. "Do you want to?" You ask.

"This is stupid, isn't it? I want everyone to know we're together. Don't you?"

You nod, smiling softly at him. "It is kind of dumb." You agree.

"Let's skip that awkward conversation and just show everyone instead." JJ nods, satisfied with himself as he lets you go to stand up, holding his hand out to you. "Come on. Let's get you another drink so I can carry you home tonight." He teases, making you laugh as you take his hand and he pulls you up.

"Do you actually think I'm stupid?" You ask with a giggle, walking hand in hand back down to the beach.

"Sometimes, yeah." JJ jokes, making you shove his shoulder with your free hand. "Never any stupider than me, though. That's why we work."

"Stupider isn't a word, I don't think." You laugh, and JJ shrugs in response.

"That's my point proven."

[actual-changeling]

i know i just posted a 6k+ fic today but have this ficlet from aziraphale's pov as a treat before i disappear for the night.

@dancingcrowley a lil gift for u

-

In hindsight, it is entirely his fault for getting way too drunk.

"The... point?"

Crowley is looking at him without blinking, his head hanging upside down off the edge of the sofa, his legs hooked over the backrest, and it is either by pure luck or a subconscious demonic miracle that he hasn't slid to the floor yet. His wine glass is empty and has been for a while, probably since around nine when Aziraphale swapped his glass for the bottle and began pacing around the backroom with an increasing frenzy.

"Yes! The- the point of," he vaguely waves his free hand, unsure what exactly he is even referring to, "of it all."

Another swig of red chases the dryness out of his throat and causes his next words to tumble out of his mouth like a glacier-fed waterfall in early spring.

"The point of being here, like, earth, you know?" Crowley does not, in fact, know, that much is obvious from the expression on his face, but he shifts around a little, and that's good enough for Aziraphale.

"She put me in in in the SKY, and then there was WHOOOSH heaven, all white and empty, and suddenly, oh, look, humans! Humaning like, like rabbits or something. All doing things."

Emptying the wine bottle takes him less than a few seconds, heat rising to his cheeks and blushing down his chest, and Aziraphale briefly considers taking his waistcoat off when Crowley flings himself upright and slithers into what can loosely be called a sitting position. In reality, it is closer to what you would get if you put wet spaghetti on a dollhouse chair.

"There's no point, angel," he says, sounding vaguely bored, and maybe it's his growing disinterest; maybe it's the apocalypse that should have happened two years ago but didn't, maybe it's the fact that Aziraphale has been thinking one too many times about the last time God had actually talked to him.

"There fucking HAS to be a point, Crowley. There has to be! Otherwise, what's the- why would I- there wouldn't be a reason to-"

A reason to do good except to be kind, but he could live with that. He can live without knowing Her plan or being able to return to heaven, he can even live without ever hearing Her voice again, not that the last few millennia have ever offered any of that to him.

No, the point is, and Aziraphale has a point, he is sure of that even as the room begins to spin slightly, the point is that if there is NO point, there's no reason to deny himself anything.

...fine, not anything.

Crowley. Without a point, he could have- THEY could have- but they can't because there is a point.

"I just- just can't see it," he finishes out loud, uncaring that Crowley has not been privy to the argument in his head.

"There is a point," Crowley repeats, his voice dipping into a tone he knows from late-night dinners at the Ritz and casual temptations. In the low, golden light, his face is half-covered in shadows, and he sprawls across the sofa like calligraphy drawn with watered-down ink, flowing apart at the seams.

Or maybe Aziraphale's just way too drunk.

"There's a point."

Falling back into his armchair and coming close to immediately sliding onto the floor, Aziraphale tries to settle down and returns the bottle to its place on the side table. Maybe he should sober up and steer the conversation into safer waters, but he is still busy chasing one last question around his head.

What would we do if there wasn't a point?

Who would they be, then?

Crowley is already who he would be, always has been, and the parts of him that aren't are anchor points of the red thread weaving between them.

The real question is who he would be, and the truth is that he already knows the answer.

He feels Crowley's gaze on him, his eyes glinting amber in the relative darkness of the room, and Aziraphale looks back, chews up the bitterly familiar answer on his tongue, and swallows it like he always does.

"Hungry?" Crowley asks, already grabbing his shades from between the cushions.

Aziraphale lingers for a second, watching the smooth flex of his muscles as he pulls on his jacket and the tip of his tongue when it darts out to wet his bottom lip, but he smiles when Crowley turns back towards him with raised eyebrows and concern tight on his face.

"Starving."

[clavissionary-position]

What Emma Would Do

Ignore me. This is just me working through my own thoughts and feelings on this. Also I'm an idiot.

***BIG EDIT: I misread and misinterpreted. Azel was nearly drugged and SA'd, so his reaction, however cruel, makes complete sense to me. If he was real I couldn't apologize to him enough.

Moving @/caffedrine's billion-dollar comments up here.

My original, misguided post is below the cut if you're interested.

I have to ask myself what Emma would do. Within reason. And only within the scope of this fictional game, because I'm not about to touch this topic as it exists in the real world. That's for people much smarter than me.

But for the game, my dismissing of Azel as a cruel misogynist without seeing his circumstances and worldview shuts down the conversation the same way it does when Azel dismisses a woman as a slut without seeing her circumstances and worldview.

(Did he actually use the word 'slut' or did google just translate 痴女 like that for me... I should double-check... edit: oh my bad, he calls her a "female molester", which... I can't say he's wrong considering she tried to give him an aphrodisiac...? The word also means "stupid woman", so he could very well have meant it that way too, especially for some reasons I get into later in the post.)

Soooo, he didn't actually call her a slut. I'm an idiot 😌 I'm sorry, Azel. Dunno if any of my points below mean anything, but I'll leave it here anyway:

The running theme in Ikepri is to look beyond the beast and see the human inside. To meet them halfway. To see their heart. And that heart is always so very terribly scarred. All these guys have gone through their own traumas and come out the other end behaving in ways designed to be armor, to protect themselves from any further pain.

I can only speculate about Azel this early in his story arc, but being showered with the same adoration and reverence that people only show a god, day in and day out, probably fucks with your mentality a bit if you are still only human at the end of the day. Having women try to seduce you only because you're The Living God, well, we saw what that kind of shallow treatment did to Silvio. Women see you as an object and so women become objects to you. You want to be loved, but you don't want to be hurt.

That might only be scratching the surface with Azel, though. He's also clearly jaded from listening to the same old interpersonal problems people have when in relationships. Love is actual trash to him, not even worth a single penny. It's trash because the very people who follow him prove it to him on a daily basis, I imagine.

Yet that's still not the full picture. I mean, we obviously won't have the full picture until his main route drops, but there's another key factor to consider with Azel.

He quotes Pascal in Licht's sequel. "Man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed." The full quote goes onto say:

"All our dignity consists, then, in thought. This is the basis on which we must raise ourselves, and not space and time, which we would not know how to fill. Let us make it our task, then, to think well: here is the principle of morality.”

(Did I read the entire context of the quote? HA! What do you take me for? A scholar or something?)

Free will and independent thought is arguably the most important thing to Azel. He has no respect for the sheep who flock to him for direction (though he'll happily take their money and tributes). Even with the dancer who tried to seduce him in the prologue, when he tells her to lick up the food she dropped after he tripped her, he presents it as a choice. Nevermind that the staggeringly unequal power dynamics at play made it so this was nothing short of coercion in the end; there was no way the dancer was in a position to stand up for herself and say no, even if that's exactly what Azel wanted. But from his perspective, defiance would have been welcome. That's why he phrased it as a choice. That she started licking up the food only solidified in Azel's mind that this woman is an unthinking reed without dignity. If you're going to act like trash, he'll treat you like trash... maybe that was part of his thinking.

On a slightly different note, I think another reason he hates the idea of love so much is because love makes people lose their ability to reason, to think. I believe he outright says as much, iirc.

In the end, I don't know from where exactly Azel's fury and cruelty comes from. It could be all of these things, it might be something else entirely. All I can think is, you can't be 'God' everyday and not be scarred by humans.

In conclusion, I can't excuse Azel's behavior. I don't excuse it. But I think Emma would try to understand the why of it, like she does in any other route. The other running theme in Ikepri is that, as a certain someone would put it, the essence of all people is love. It's their environment that twists them. Somewhere in Azel is the purest kind of love. A kind that would make any god look away in shame. That's what I want to believe in, anyhow.

Also, I need stress that I was SO wrong about whether he actually called the dancer a slut or not. Google fucked me over by translating it that way! Ah, Azel, I'm so sorry!

[juyomiao]

Only ONE - sung hanbin x gn!reader

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09 ☆ (in)direct kiss

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chapter warnings: joking implications of killing someone , written part isn't proof read n very dialogue heavy

written part under the cut (749 words)

you're considering turning around and making a stop at chaehyun's house to make her regret whatever she planned – maybe include taerae in it too since he's clearly her accomplice in all of this. seriously, what on god's green earth were they thinking?

keyword, considering.

something is telling you this is an opportunity you can't pass on, it's now or never, and the way hanbin looks up from his phone and directly at you almost at the same time as you do is the confirmation you needed.

you don't know where all your insecurities about your feelings not being reciprocated went, but as you walk up to him you find out you it doesn't feel bad, being confident about hanbin feeling the same for once.

"hi," no, nevermind, there goes all your confidence, disappeared into thin air once you make eye contact with hanbin.

"hi, yn," he smiles, the same way he always does, but for some reason it feels different "so i guess we both got caught up in whatever our friends planned?"

"i guess, yeah," a few seconds of awkward silence pass. you have to save this conversation before it ends up where all the conversations between you two end up: nowhere. "so? what do you want to do?"

"well, i was supposed to meet up with hao, but we didn't really have any plans on what exactly to do… i guess the same was with you and chaehyun?" you nod "that mother fucker, once i get her i'm going to- sorry, that's not the point, i always get sidetracked…"

"that's why i like you,"

your eyes widen. did you hear that right?

"what?" hanbin seems as confused as you "what?"

oh, so he didn't actually say that. you're hallucinating too, now? chaehyun gave you the number of that psychiatrist, maybe you should contact them…

"nothing, i thought you said something. do you want to get ice cream?" it's the first idea that comes to your mind, you don't even mentally beat yourself up for how lame it is, anything is fine as long as you stop standing there.

surprisingly, almost all the awkwardness between you two slowly goes away. spending time with hanbin outside of school and your student council duties is fun, time goes by quickly, and before you know it you've already bought your ice cream and sat down on a bench nearby.

"what flavor did you get?" hanbin asks.

"strawberry," it's pretty obvious, the vibrant (and a bit too artificial) pink of the ice cream should give it away easily, why would he even ask?

"can i try it?" you nod your head, standing up "i'll go ask if they have one of those stupid plastic spoons they have at ice cream places,"

"why?"

"uh, i mean, unless you want us to indirectly kiss or something, that's our only option,"

"mh… right, we should probably avoid indirect kisses..." before you can start walking away, he grabs your wrist, making you sit down again. "hanbin what…?"

"how about a direct kiss instead?"

okay now you've completely gone insane. there's no way in hell sung hanbin, your lifelong crush sung hanbin just said he wants to kiss you. no way.

"yn?" then why is he looking at you like he's waiting for an answer?

you know what, fuck it. maybe you're delusional, maybe you're hallucinating, maybe it's a dream. you're still not missing the opportunity to kiss someone you've had a crush on since middle school.

"yeah, a direct kiss sounds great, actually."

all the times hanbin has taken your breath away metaphorically, with something he did or said, could never compare to this one.

"so you like me too?"

"no, i just kissed you for shits and giggles," you roll your eyes "of course! i've liked you since you gave me a pencil when we were twelve!"

"oh," well, now he's going to think you're some kind of creep, great job yn! "well, that's nice. since i did that because i liked you,"

"wait, you liked me before i liked you?"

"i mean, i didn't know you had feelings for me until… today, actually. on that note," he takes his phone out of his pocket "do you know why chaehyun told me, and i quote, 'if you keep up this search for yn's crush you're going to get your feelings hurt'?"

you make a mental note to still take that detour to chae's house on your way home.

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☆ note: RAHHHHH THEY KISSED WE CHEERED . why does hanbin kind of have w rizz now what happened . btw this is almost as long as the ricky one shot but instead of taking me 3 weeks to write this took me 30 minutes . worms in the brain fr . btw yes i accidentally posted this while editing the draft🧍

☆ SYNOPSIS: sung hanbin is everyone's dream guy: perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect personality, he has it all. he's even class AND student council president! everyone loves him, and you, as his vice-president, are no exception to that. having been in love with him since you were 12, you try to tone down your feelings "for the sake of professionalism" and claim it's simple admiration for someone who objectively has no flaws. but there is one small detail you missed, in all these years admiring him: he has an even bigger crush on you.

☆ TAGLIST: (italics = couldn't tag)(had to remove even more ppl bc tumblr is being a bitch ,, sorry) @hananovi @soobeaniee @idkwatodoanymore @huipinkhair @homohoons @sunnyglower @lethalvenus @sunoksunny @tocupid @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @winteringdream @ikeryn @ilovechanhee @thesiriusmap @hee-lanat @baekstans @blaycke @vernonfernandez @8turning @yeolsbestie @asteroidchenle @hvnyujiq @hikyeom @r4innoms @enhypen-scholarship @sulkygyu @meowrinz @rikimylove @ridinhyuck @lumixen @neohyxn @ceanairy @beomibeom @cherriegyu @sunwcloud @k4hzuhas @annoyingbitch83 @stickersim @dreamyyn @anawesomeaquatic @softforjungwoo @utopiakys @247hrs @sunswoonie @minhui896 @chanhee-hee @nxurxn @peachysohn @garaaaaaaaaa @haesunflower

[alicelufenia]

So yeah had the chance to sleep on it and gonna give my full thoughts on the (unannounced) new dialogue for Minthara when Durge makes the decision to reject [SPOILER]. Gonna keep it under the cut but also read @shoddynomenclature's flashfic about it, it echos a lot of my feelings on the subject.

I think this had the potential to be something that makes her character even more nuanced and interesting by showing an uglier side of herself. Yes she has been abandoned by gods before, and the pain of that can't be understated. So seeing Durge reject Bhaal, to walk away from an inheritance when she was taken from Lolth against her will? Must feel frustrating. Seeing a character work through those emotions and fucking it up could be really good. COULD be.

This one conversation, where she throws everything about her relationship with Durge aside and turns her back on them with just a single non-critical response and no follow up? This ain't it.

I hate to say it, but this addition has all but killed my interest in playing Durge, if this is what it does to her character.

I'd LIKE it if there will be future additions, conversations you can have back at camp after the stress of the day has passed, to ask her what's really going on here. Yeah it WOULD be nice if there were some follow up where we can talk to her about our reasons for rejecting Bhaal, with the option to reconcile. Which could even lead neatly into her post-Orin speech, y'know some of her best writing in the game where she realize that Bhaal is no different than Lolth, or the Absolute.

Or, the chance to refuse to get back together with her after that. The only other way to break up with Minthara currently is cheating, which sucks, whereas having a big ugly argument and deciding "We've both said our peace, and understand each other better now, but we can't be together. Not after all this." THAT'S Really Good.

But unlike others, I have no confidence that any such addition is coming.

Because (if I understand it right) this dialogue was datamined from release, but was always inaccessible until the recent hotfix. So it was easy to ignore, treat it as cut content like the pregnancy plot (which I still don't get and frankly at this point I don't wanna know).

By deciding to make it accessible, Larian has made it clear that they want this to be a part of her character. But unlike this dialogue, there isn't any follow up sitting in datamine waiting to be turned on.

As far as we know, this is it. It's useless to speculate on what they could add (why add to her writing so piecemeal like this anyway?) because they didn't wait until they HAD more, to make this a part of her writing. Hell, it wasn't even worth mentioning in the hotfix notes!

Loving her partner to the degree she's willing to put aside her thirst for power is such a key part of Minthara's character that this dialogue completely abandons. What Larian is saying here is that her love for Durge was just a ruse to entice someone she could control into acquiring power, even at their expense. And if that's Larian's vision for Minthara's character, then why stop with Durge?

Why does she break up with Durge for rejecting Bhaal, but not with Shadowheart for rejecting Shar?

Or Astarion if he remains a spawn?

Why shed all those real tears for Karlach if she'd rather die than return to Avernus?

Why continue to share Tav's bed if they refuse the Astral Tadpole? Why offer no real objection if they destroy the brain, though she's rooting for them to take control of it right up until the moment? Why can she find power enough in the two of them with the Absolute gone to continue their plans for conquest, but Durge refusing to become just like Orin, her tormentor she swore to kill, is a dealbreaker?

If she tells my Tav the bond they share is called alurlssrin, can I even believe her, when she said the same to Durge only to call them stupid for believing in love right after?

Do you see the problem here?

Do you see why people would rather this dialogue not exist, if this is what it does to her character?

[wellofdean]

Just wanted to split this off from this post about why Mary Winchester is excellent because it's getting so long, but I wanted to respond to these tags from @kayliemalinza :

#sometimes i feel people hate john for reasons that while valid in our universe less valid in the spn universe#but mary gets it way worse#<-- prev tags yessss#also doing the math wasn't she like 28 when she died#i'm glad they didn't recast and of course samantha smith looks her own age#but mary is in fact YOUNGER THAN SAM AND DEAN AT THIS POINT#they are not children#and the tags copied above i think explains so sos ooo much#bc so many fans glommed onto dean because of similar family issues#and that means they are struggling as much as dean is in s12#and just can't disconnect that quite yet#but god#GOD how she struggles with that emotional intimacy#she was raised as a hunter you don't think she's chockablock full of maladaptive coping mechanisms too?

Because I whole-heartedly agree with this. John Winchester was not a good father in some major, major ways, and Sam and Dean had a childhood straight out of a...well, a horror/fantasy genre show...but I think people forget that Sam and Dean also do truly love John and truly are more or less at peace with their memory of him later in the series, and there has to be a reason for that, too. It's not that he's a mustache-twirling villain; it's complicated. He loved them, but he wasn't always able to do it right. They love him, but he hurt them and made the what they are, which is a double-edged sword.

It's really natural that we all identify with Dean, and get angry at people who hurt him, but I think it's important to realize that Dean processes his anger about Mary leaving pretty quickly, because it's not really anger and resentment, it's confusion, disappointment and hurt. And I think Dean is grown enough to own his own feelings, and able to accept that she needs time and space, and he's not such a child that he isn't capable of separating his legitimate feelings from her legitimate needs. It takes him time, but he gets there, because, and this is another conversation, Dean is really very reflective and emotionally intelligent, actually.

I also do agree that a lot of fans, in identifying with Dean, map their own feelings about their parents onto Mary, and dislike her for reasons that have nothing to do with the story being told on Supernatural, which is essentially a very healing one. Since I'm a Gen-X old, and the mother of an adult son, I actually had a pretty different experience, and as much as I love Dean, in this storyline, I identified a lot with Mary.

On the one hand, she has to be so proud of her two big, beautiful, brave and heroic sons, but at the same time she does not know them! They don't need her, and they are trying to protect her from the things she feels they should have been protected from, and at the same time, as adult men who are still, in some way, motherless boys, they are hungry (especially Dean) for her to be something that she never had a chance to grow into. I loved it that her own exigencies were too strong to LET her stay. I loved that she could not accept the role of mother that had been stolen from her, and could not sit still to let it just kind of settle on her shoulders.

It made me think that (aw yeah!) there was a difference between John's sainted white nightgown conception of his dead wife (his motivation to be what he was), and Dean's memory of her as the cutter off of crusts from his sandwiches, or the mother that he comforted when she was sad, and he was just a little man. I'm so glad that Mary turned out to be so much more than that. She is a woman with her own competencies, her own damage and baggage, and her own ideas about how to make things right, who doesn't agree with her sons all the time, who makes mistakes, who fucks the wrong guy, still loves her problematic husband, and can't actually cook, thank you very much. I love that her own disorientation and her own will are so strong that she really can't allow who she actually is to be subsumed into the communal role of 'mother'.

I think that socially, we don't really think about what we ask of mothers, or how hard we judge them. We underestimate what they give up of themselves to satisfy that role. My son was born when I was really young, and fellas, IT WAS HARD under more or less perfectly normal circumstances, to make the transition from being just me to being a mother. My magnificent son is amazeballs, and is a human being that I am so fucking proud to have made out of my very own actual body and raised to be the excellent human he is, and we are really close, but I was not always prefect, and even now when he is a grown adult, I still chafe against the perception of me as 'his mother' and not just ME all the time. One of the very greatest things about my son is his incredible ability to let me live, and make space for the fact that I am also a person, and not just his mother, and I am so, so grateful to him for that, so....

Yeah. As much as I didn't want to see Dean hurt, I LOVED Mary, and love that they wrote her as her a full human being and not a tropally perfect mother. I loved seeing her as a flawed parent that deserved her adult children's understanding and mature love, who deserved her own space and her own processes. What's more, I loved seeing Dean process his feelings about her, and seeing him become a son who was capable of loving a real human woman who happened to be his mother. So... yes. I love her.

Mary Winchester forever. A+.

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e3 rewatch notes

One more before the weekend...

"When I was a kid anything that would give me some type of excitement, or amusement or enjoyment would get fucked ... Sometimes they'd try too hard, or they'd make promises they weren't able to keep" - everything in Carmy's AA statement can be related to cooking, the restaurant, drawing, Claire - pretty much the sum of Carmy's parts now.

Second Carmy/Syd kitchen scene:

Carmy is always the first to ask about anyone's parents (but only to Syd) - just like he inquires about Syd's Dad, his first concern is to ask about Marcus' mom while they debate sending him to Copenhagen. Family and people, in general, are always at the forefront of his mind, while progression is always at the forefront of Syd's (even if she does genuinely cares and checks in, it's secondary)

Carmy's "I want to make a suggestion" to go out was so loaded - it was obviously a premeditated move that he wanted to do the food tour with Syd. "I think WE need to go out, and we need to try some stuff"

After he tells her he'll see her in an hour, Goodbye Girl by Squeeze starts playing, and the track ends as Tina realizes that Ebra isn't ever going to be by her side in class *dies twice*

Richie dropping off his daughter: I have a precocious 6-year-old daughter as well and.....they tried to squeeze way too many lines into Eva to advance Richie's storyline when it should have come via Tiff or something - I hate being a negative nelly, but this part is so botched/lifetime drama-y.

(His obvious tenderness is sweet though)

10:44am call with Claire: this is only 2ish hours after his AA talk - I guess the subject matter was resonating with him?

Her forcing the convo on how ingratiated she is with his family makes me throw up my hands and say "no wonder the guy had a fucking panic attack later!". I was just highlighting how in AA how his family tries too hard sometimes - this is a prime example with her "I know all the fuckin' Faks" jousting.

And my god, she knew he was about to tell her that he was busy today, and she claps back "can you not make this weird?" - it literally harkens back to his family's bullying and expectations that Carmy will pacify them. (I know she can't know all this, but damn)

This part of the conversation gets its own bullet point:

"You know, he [Fak] told me that you guys are really close and that he's your best friend" - I didn't realize the first go around how bold the attempt at enmeshment was. With Fishes as context, the toxicity levels in this conversation are off the rails.

Also, her demented smile when she says "really?" when he says "no...no, Fak's not my best friend" - aggghhhh!

"No, no. He is. He's probably my best friend"

What the hell is this? "That's interesting, to sit with, for you" with the continued weird little smile -this isn't flirting, this is her relishing in the fact that she can manipulate him.

Why didn't I clue into how caustically fucked this scene was the first time? I think I was so distracted by the whispy dialogue and cadence of the conversation that I actually blacked out of the dialogue. Thank goodness for subtitles, because this script is mildly psychotic to read.

I know Storer said that one of the themes of this season is "winning is losing" - Claire is definitely playing to win at all costs. Is s2e10 showing that she lost? Or am I sitting through this dialogue again next season? I NEED TO KNOW.

Anyways, Secret Teadrops by Martin Rev (google the lyrics) plays as sydney enters Kasama - God, the music suggests she was thrilled to be spending a day out of the usual context with Carmy, and her checking her phone constantly is killing me.

Twenty Five Miles by Edwin Starr starts playing at the start of the food montage, just as Sydney gets the text from Carmy that she'll be doing it alone.

"I've been walking for three days and two lonely nights, and you know that I'm mighty mad"

After the owner of Avec tells her that she needs a great partner above all else, the lyrics blare again with "although my feet are tired, I can't lose my stride" - she can't abandon faith in Carmy just yet.

After the Pelican meats scene where the butcher (I forget his name, sorry!) tells Syd that he and his wife lost their restaurant in Bucktown after a business partner cut and ran, the song again blares with "I'm SO tired, but I just can't lose my stride"

Syd starts to adjust her language to "I'm not exactly solo" in the next restaurant scene- ugh - painful.

Enter conversations about profit sharing. Naiya assumes that she and Carmy are INVOLVED involved, and when she finds out they're just "gentleman's agreement" partners, she basically tells her to watch her back. Syd registers the statement, but looks so dejected, like she knows she's on a fool's errand now.

The lyrics flare one last time simply with "I've got to walk on"

Cue Carmy's phone going to voicemail as she has the jitters on the loading dock. She looks so sad, but also resigned to her fate at this point.

Sydney calls Marcus right after trying to call Carmy looking for any kind of sign or reinforcement. We're at the triangle again, with Marcus interpreting it one way, and Syd....really not reading anything into it at all.

I feel like Fak making fun of Marcus for "looking forward' with that big, dumb smile on his face means he knows Marcus' affection for Sydney.... and I'm starting to realize all the plots I don't like are the result of Fak's intuition and/or meddling.

Syd awkwardly trying to poach BOH workers is adorably baller and shows how aggressive she is just now realizing she needs to become- and she's so terrible at it, and I love her.

Future Perfect by Duretti Column (what an awesome deep cut) playing - I love that this part of the montage is Syd diving deep into herself and her more analytically-bent creative process and fuck everyone else. It's just her carrying the creative load of the restaurant right now, but she's truly free.

Lyrics repeat "You tell me stories, you speak in pictures"

She's being absolutely present ("Don't live in the future") and letting the food and the city that birthed it speak to her honestly and it's just so beautiful. The old family pictures surface in her memory alongside the plates she's crafting - her own contribution to the chaos menu, her past and present combined, her future (The Bear) undetermined.

Back to The Bear with "Make You Happy" by Tommy McGee playing in the background - I feel like enough ink has been spilled on this scene, but honestly read the lyrics here - ack.

One small observation after Carmy says "I'll let you know" - in the background, Marcus looks completely defeated, Fak's suppressing a laugh or something, and we get Richie's "ooooooohhhhhhh!"while Carm gives him dagger eyes. Y'all....these are not great men.

Syd rightfully realizes she needs to get the fuck away from everyone in that instant if she's going to do anything productive with the inspiration she's culled from her day of exploration and calls in the favor from the kitchen. I love that it almost immediately cuts to her there with her emotional support spoon 🥺

The ravioli failure - i.e. the fantasy vision of the food she had on the plate during her journey day not matching the reality of what she can craft on her own = the fantasy vision of the restaurant/life she could craft with Carmy not matching the reality of what she can is forced to craft on her own.

Oof, taking a break for a few days now....

[daddysuga101]

You want what you can’t have: Part 3

Suguru x reader x Satoru

Warnings: naoya zenin, misogyny, mentions of sex,  substance abuse, ART IS MINE‼️

Part 1 here: https://www.tumblr.com/daddysuga101/720237426974556160/you-want-what-you-cant-have-part-one

Par 2 here: https://www.tumblr.com/daddysuga101/720344475594063872/we-want-what-we-cant-have-part-2

——————————————————————

Suguru is a borderline alcoholic, pot head and he knows it. The drugs and drinking were just for fun at first but now he uses them to cope with his issues.

The same issues that are why instead of dancing his heart out and preforming the ritual with you, he's sitting on the porch. Watching you from a distance. A bottle of rum in one hand and a joint in the other.

"There you are." An Agitated voice says. Suguru lifts his head to see Shoko storming towards him a scowl on her features.

"Oh look it's Shoko! How lovely..." Suguru grimaced.

"Jerking off to your own misery huh?" Shoko questions pulling the bottle from his grasp.

"Hey." He called out weakly.

"What the hell are you even doing over here?"

"I was drinking and getting high but clearly I'm not allowed to do that so.." Suguru says with a sarcastic shrug.

"Youre a pathetic piece of shit you know that?"

"I'm well aware." Suguru says with a strained smile.

"Well while you're here sulking, Y/n is out there with Gojo." Shoko said, Suguru pulled another pre rolled joint from his pocket lighting it and shrugging.

"No shit, I knew she would be. Why'd you think I came here to get fucked up?" He asked before taking a hit, as if it were obvious. "I wouldn't have hung her out to dry."

Shoko scoffs, her dark eyes narrowing in a disapproving look.

One that might've made Suguru feel a little guilty, if it weren't for the fact he's already beat himself down mentally to the point he can't really feel much right now.

And the alcohol helps too.

"You know, one day Gojo and Y/n might date, they might even fall and love, get married, have kids. They will live a happy good life, and you'll spend the rest of yours wishing you did something. Anything. You'll wished you would have fought for her." Shoko says.

Suguru hates her words because he knows their true. Sugurus least favorite emotion is regret, because there's nothing quite like wanting to redo something that you have no ability to go back and redo.

Time always moves forward. And the only thing we're allowed to do is look back on it. But we're never allowed to change it, so maybe Shokos right.

Maybe Suguru will be fifty still staring at you with the same longing he does now. Maybe he'll babysit your and Satorus kid fantasizing about a world were he had a baby with you.

Oh god.

Would he want that?

To have a baby? With you?

His face flushed considerably more at the thought of your stomach swollen and heavy with his child. He shook his head and the thought away.

He's too young to be thinking about kids, much less kids with a woman that might not speak to him after he bailed on her with no explanation.

He knows you would understand his circumstances if he explained them but he'd if prefer you didn't know the exact details. He doesn't want you to look at him like the shit show he is.

He needs you to be able to comfortably put the weight of your problems on him, not become a problem for you.

"You're right." Suguru admitted, earning a more than shocked expression from Shoko. "I'll talk to her once things calm down a bit."  Suguru says putting his suit jacket back on.

Shoko gives him an approving nod.

"Good, don't fuck this up." She says turning to leave.

"Oi!" Suguru called out after her. Shoko stops turning her head a little over her shoulder.

"Why do you care so much about whether I get with her or not? Not like there's anything in it for you." Suguru pointed out. Shoko shrugged strands of black falling messily over her forehead as the wind blows.

"Let's just say I'm tired of the love triangle with you three." Shoko says. "I also would like to see Gojo lose, just this once." Shoko says as she decends down the stairs.

Suguru almost laughs but he doesn't because he has as a lot to think about.

An apology first and foremost.

—————————————————————————-

20 minutes post inauguration

For the first time tonight it was quiet.

So quiet.

After all the fuss and congratulations, you needed this space to yourself. Just a second to fully unwind.

But clearly the universe hates you because just in that moment, a knock on your door comes.

It interrupts your thoughts and your moment to unwind. That you would have been enjoying a lot much more, if it wasn't for your too expensive bra digging into your back. Under your equally too expensive dress.

"Satoru it's really not a good-."

Not Satoru.

"Suguru." You breathe. He gives you a small smile. nodding to where your hands were fiddling with your dress.

"You okay?" He questions. You eyed him wide-eyed and a little confused.

You told yourself when you saw him again tonight you'd do something. You weren't sure what that thing would be though, maybe you would yell or scream at him or tell him to kick rocks, but you didn't do that.

"Yeah um, it's my dress." You explain, he puts his hands in his pockets approaching you slowly, tantalizingly. The way only Suguru Geto could.

He steps behind you leaving not even an inch between you two as he stares at you through the mirror.

"How can I help?" He questions. You swallow, it's not preferred but you need the help.

"Um, are you fimaliar with bra hooks?" You ask. He gives you a smirk his eye brows wiggling knowingly. You roll your eyes at his insinuation.

He clears his throat.

"I am." He straightens up.

"Theres um, a part of my bra, a hook, that's digging into my back. If you could like, find it and push it back." You tell him his eyes never leaving yours through the reflection. You aren't sure how but this eye contact is even more nerve racking then face to face eye contact.

He pushes the thin straps of your dress top down his hand running over the fabric looking for the faulty hook in your bra.

"You look stunning tonight if you didn't already know that." He whispers into your hair. Your breath shudders, his voice, his hands. All of it is so overwhelming.

Its so consuming you forgot you were supposed to be mad at him. He screwed you over, if it werent for Satoru you would have been done for, but clearly that didnt matter to Suguru.

"There it is." Suguru murrmered more to himself than you. He fixes the hook running a soothing finger at the place the hook left a harsh mark.

"I feel bad for girls, this looks awful." He says. You nod turning away from the mirror to face him, actually face him, you regretted that decision.

You were wrong. He looked even more sinful face to face.

People like him and Satoru shouldn't exist. Their so unreal. So effortlessly beautiful it honestly shocked you at times.

"I watched you know. You looked so beautiful out there today, all pretty and sweet. I won't be shocked if every clan member this side of the world throws their son at you." He joked,

You didn't laugh.

Instead your face stayed neutral and you turned your back to him. Pretending to look for something in your vanity.

Time for pay back.

"Thanks for your help Suguru you can go." You say coldly if.

He licks his dry lips but makes no sign of leaving. Instead he leans against the dresser eyeing you, watching you so hard you wanna punch him. (You almost do)

"Can I help you?" You question.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That." He says gesturing to your whole person. You furrow your eyebrows. You're feeling petty now.

"And what is that I'm doing that's so bothersome?"

"Being all cold to me. I don't like it. I don't like this."

"Yeah and I don't like being screwed over." Your counter. He runs a tired hand over his face.

"Listen something came up and Satoru and I had a-."

"Tiff, I know." You say irritatedly. "But what does that have to do with me? If you argue with Satoru why are you punishing me for it?" You question.

His eye brows scrunch in worry.

He looks like he's itching to explain what happened in the full context. Like he's almost frustrated by your refusal to understand.

But he's not giving you the full context so what are you supposed to think?

"I'm not punishing you, sweet thing." He says trying to touch your neck the way he always does when he wants to get back in your good graces.

You smack his hand away and his face falls a little.

"Don't try to ignore the issue here, I'm gonna ask you something and answer honestly. What happened, actually?" You question.

His eyes dart around the room. He's looking for a lie, you know he is because he only looks around like this when he's uncomfortable or cornered.

You scoff.

He opens his mouth to speak and honestly you don't want to hear it anymore. You don't want the lies or the half truths that come with Suguru, you just want honesty.

"Don't, I don't wanna hear it." You say sternly cutting him off. "I don't wanna hear you lie to me."

"Y/n I-." Suguru tries to explain once again but is promtly interrupted when the door to the dressing room swings open revealing a too excited Noaya.

"Holy fuck, you are something else." He says a wide smile planted on his face. "Make sure you come down soon dinner is almost ready, we aren't done celebrating you." He said brightly.

"I'll be down in a minute." You say before turning back towards Suguru. "I'll see you down there, or not." You mutter leaving Suguru alone in the dressing room.

"Fuck." He whispered running a hand over his face.

—————————————————————————

Dinner was about as awkward as three of you  thought it'd be.

Unsaid apologies and regrets hung in the air surrounding them.

Your inauguration was a success but your relationships.

They were strained. Very obviously too.

"That went very well." Naoya spoke up in the dead silence. You all didn't like Naoya that much but you couldn't lie how greatful you were for him breaking up the silence.

"She's truly the enchantress they said she was. You are like a siren." Naoya says lifting his eyes towards your own.

You smile at the compliment, it's one of those gentle sweet smiles that make men wanna marry you, and makes Suguru wanna kidnap you and lock you away somewhere safe.

The idea of that becomes more appealing everyday.

"Correct me if I'm mistaken Geto, but weren't you supposed to accompany her during the inauguration?" Naoya questions.

"I was."

"You must be so disappointed you missed the opportunity, hell if I were you I'd be real regretful when saw her in that get up dancing with someone else when it could've been me."

Shoko looks at Naoya then at Suguru waiting for something, for what she wasn't sure.

"You too agree she looked beautiful, didn't she Geto?" Naoya questioned taking a bite of his steak with a faux innocent expression on his face.

He's trying to get a reaction out of him, that was clear. And Suguru wasn't taking the bait.

"She did." Suguru agreed neutrally.

"I don't think you need him to tell you that Naoya. It's obvious." Satoru interjected.

"I'm glad you two agree. However, forgive my curiosity, is she dating one of you?....Both of you?" Naoya questions as casually as someone would ask for the time.

You almost choke on your steak. Suguru glares at the blonde while Satoru only gives Naoya a bright smile.

"Why would that even concern you?" Satrou asked leaning back in his chair. "You wanna watch or something cuck boy?" He asked with a smirk. You fight a face palm.

Naoya scoffs wiping his face with a napkin.

"Just a question" He remarks with a shrug. "I mean most of the elders are dying to know. She is the most desired woman in jujustu tec. People wanna know if she's been claimed or not." Naoya explained.

It's your turn to be irritated.

"Claimed?" You asked. That word leaves a fowl taste in your mouth. "Am I a dog?"

"To most men here yes."

"And to you?" You question.

"I'm just trying to be honest Y/n."

"So am I, I'm not some trophy wife whose only value is put on who I am and am not fucking." You argue. "Just being honest." You say with a passive aggressive smile.

"Well if you want honesty we can start by saying you could stand to lose the bitchy attitude. It's not attractive." He says.

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" You question standing to your feet.

"Oh god." Yabishido murmured noticing the growing hostility.

The future head of the Zenin clan stands to his feet as well walking over to you in a slow intimidating pace.

"Y/n." He starts coming face to face with you.

"I was going to put this to you gently but I see you're the more mouthy type, so I won't hold my tongue. Your only value as a female jujutsu sorcerer is to find an equally or more powerful man and have his offspring. That is your purpose." He explains.

You scowl at him.

"So is that what this ceremony was? An auction?" You question. He smirks not hiding the fact he keeps staring at your tits every ten seconds or so.

"More or less." He says. "A woman's womb is the most valuable part of her. You need understand that sooner or later." He tells you.

"And if you think for one second, you are anything but a cum dump you are sorely mistaken." Naoya whispered in your ear raising his hand to touch your stomach.

"So be a good girl and just get married, be a mom. That's your job." He says. A large hand shoves Naoya away from you, causing him to stumble over a bit.

"Touch her again you'll lose that hand." Satoru threatened. Naoya raised his hands in the air in surrender.

"Easy there no need for violence Gojo."

"Well, this has been unpleasant as always Naoya." You said with a passive aggressive smile before practically storming out the dining room.

"Y/n!" Suguru shouted, running after you. Satoru's eyes followed where they went, ready to go himself.

"You and him are pathetic, you're both so in love with her it's almost embarrassing. But go ahead." Naoya starts. "Go ahead, go run after her like the good dog you are." Naoya said to Satoru.

—-

"Who the hell does he think he is?" You question pushing past the threshold of the dressing room door.

"Fuck him, you don't have to take that." Suguru says.

"Everyone wants to tell me what I can't do,  what I can't know. I'm fucking sick of it." You say your chest heaving in pure frustration.

"Not me, I'd never make you feel like that."

"But you do make me feel like that." You say exhasburatedly.

"What?"

"What did you and Satoru fight about? Why didn't you show up like you said you would? Why weren't you there for me?"

"Y/n I-."

"Honest, Suguru. Please. I need you to be honest." You say grasping his hand squeezing it in your palm. His eye brows furrow in frustration. He knows your coaxing it out of him. But the way your looking at him, those big pleading eyes how on earth could he deny you?

"My wasn't my argument with Satoru wasn't the only thing that made me not go..., It was my argument with Yuri." He says finally.

"Who the hell is Yuri?"

"You don't know her. But you're right, you should know what happened, you should know we fought about you." He says. Your eyes widen.

"Me? You fought over me? What the hell was it even about?" You questioned. He stepped impossibly  closer to you. His hand reaching up to grasp your necklace fondling it in his hand before looking up in your eyes.

"We fought," He starts. His eye brows furrowed.

"We fought. Because I'm in love with you."

There are some sentences throughout the world that require some preparation of the other person before telling them. This includes but not limited to, bad health news, death in the family, financial ruin. And somewhere on that list is love confessions.

"Wha-what did you just say?" You ask. He steps closer to you his eyes burning holes through your own.

"I said I am in love with you." He says again flatly. His voice is as neutral as it would be if he were telling you the weather.

Who even confesses like this? All calm and cool.

"Things were said. Things that really got to me. I let myself get in my own head and I had an episode..."

"Oh my god. Are you okay?" You question cupping the side of his face worriedly.

"I'm fine. But you were right, you deserved to know." He said. You nodded happy he was honest. You were even more happy he was feeling better.

But the elephant in the room was glaringly obvious. And it couldn't be ignored.

"Listen Suguru, I-."

"Don't." He says firmly. "Don't  accept it, don't reject it. Either way you answer will change us in a way that scares me so don't say anything." He tells you. You nod dumbly still shocked, still confused.

"Is there anything else I should know?" You chuckle dryly.

"Satorus in love with you too." He drops. Your eyes about pop out of your head. "Thats part of why him and I fought earlier."

"A while ago we found out we both had feelings for you. We thought it should be neither of us because we're both god awful with even worse families. But I want you so bad. And so does he."

"So when he found out that I would be presenting you for the ceremony he got jealous. The same way I would get jealous if it were him and not me. We're both obsessed with you Y/n." He explained.

"But you knew that already, right?" A voice says, Satoru appearing from the doorway. And suddenly you're cornered by two tall strong men that both admitted their love for you.

"I-I didn't know."

"You're so naive." Satoru says with a sly but strained smile.

"Why do you think when guys got too close we'd chase em away hm?" He questions,

"And don't say some stupid shit about it being 'brotherly love'." Suguru says harshly taking a cigarette out his jacket pocket. "Brothers don't wanna fuck their sisters."

"Not the normal ones at least." Gojo joked earning a elbow in his rib from Suguru.

You swallow looking between the two men unable to truly fathom what was happening. They confessed, now their awaiting what exactly?

"Dont look so nervous cupcake." Toru' teased. "Like Suguru said we don't want a response or anything we just thought you should know." Satoru said with a shrug.

"Okay then, thank you for tell me." You say, Satoru nods.

"I mean to be honest I didn't know he was gonna confess for me but here we are." He said with a chuckle.

"Just be grateful you didn't confess drunk or something light weight."

"Yeah but you stole my thunder, ass clown."

"Is it, really okay if I don't answer now?" You ask the boys. They look at you like you're talking absolutely crazy.

"Like Suguru said it's preferred. Plus it wouldn't be a good idea for you to answer unless the answer is neither or both." Satoru explained with a casual shrug.

"B-Both?" You asked. The boys looked at each other before looking at you.

"I mean god gave you more than one place to put a cock love." Suguru said pulling a chuckle from Satoru. You don't laugh instead your eyes all but fall out of your skull.

"Sorry bad joke." Suguru said.

"It doesn't matter though. Because we can keep our hands to ourselves for the time being, and you just keep being our friend." Satoru says.

"Nothing has to change. Not unless you want it to.” Satoru says with a graze of your cheek with his finger.

“What happens if I do? Where do we go from there?” You question. Suguru and Satoru look at each other giving the other a knowing glance.

Their doing that thing were their speaking to each other without actually talking. They look back at you their eyes turning serious.

“What are you saying sweetheart?” Suguru asks.

“I’m saying what if I do..want..to..”

“To what? Use your words properly.” Satoru said.

“I wanna..I wanna be with both of you. I know that sounds bad and I know you said you didn’t want me to decide now but it’s what I want. You’re both what I want.” You admit your eyes looking at the floor because you swear if you look at them you’ll melt.

“You have no idea how happy that makes us. But you need to understand the situation properly Y/n. Don’t get into something you can’t handle.” Suguru says.

It’s warning. He’s genuinely warning you and you can’t tell if your grateful or scared.

“I can handle it.”

“You get involved with us, you have to understand we do not share. I don’t care if you’re best friends with a mother fucker you let ‘em touch you anywhere there will be problems.” Satoru says putting his hand in the wall by your head.

“We’re serious Y/n. You do this, you’re ours. Mind, body, soul.” Suguru said putting a hand on the other side of your head.

“I can handle it told you-.”

“Ever had two guys at once? Ever been fucked in your pussy while someone else used your mouth?” Satoru asked.

“Don’t be crude.” Suguru chastised.

“She should know what we’re gonna do her.” Satoru argued with a shrug still eyeing you.

“I agree, but not too much too soon.” Suguru said back.

“You should know I’m not a prude.” You speak up. They both look at you their eyes encouraging you to go on.

“I can fuck too.” You say confidently. They both give you the same sinister smirk that makes you lose every ounce of confidence.

“Oh yeah?” Satoru asks, Suguru speaking up next.

“Why don’t you show us then?”