#Gale is just so lesbian coded to me

[reges-regen]

BG3 - SEXUALITY CODING

Let's talking about sexuality coding in BG3, because I think it's fun. I know Larian has basically said that every romance partner is pansexual because otherwise it would limit player action, and I think this is great design. But some characters feel more coded in their sexuality; like, they're more player-sexual than truly pansexual. I'd like to look at Astarion mainly, but quickly, Gale is straight-coded, Shadowheart is lesbian-coded, and Astarion is gay-coded. Gale's only significant romance is with a woman, and he never flirts with males of his own volition sans Tav, and Shadowheart grew up in an entirely female-centric society, and all that goes with that.

Let's look at Astarion. Astarion has quite a few flirty lines and you meet quite a few of his old conquests, and they're both always with men. He really doesn't seem to have much true sexual interest in women, and given his rather foppish design and speaking mannerisms, along with his 'scene' gay attitude, I view him as fairly gay-coded. Which becomes interesting when you view what Cazador was making him do. It's never explicitly stated, but it's likely that Cazador (who acted as a parental/power figure) made Astarion seduce women to prove his worth and keep him part of the family. If he didn't then he was potentially losing out on 50% of future ritual victims. Astarion was made to engage in sexual activity he never would have willingly engaged in. Astarion's story has elements of conversion therapy when examined with this lens. Astarion's story isn't just about abuse and neglect, it can take on a much more sinister tone if you view it a certain way. Maybe this is why it kind of weirds me out that I see so many women romancing Astarion when Gale and Halsin (true pan - no coding) are readily available options.

[lutethebodies]

LTB Tav Tuesdays: Qiranna Jasti, the Raven's Right Hand

My sixth Tav is another work in progress, literally and figuratively, because she's only ever existed in homebrew 5e. Qiranna's first incarnation was one of my DM-run NPCs, a young Seldarine-like twilight cleric who took my players on a hallucinogenic ceremonial trip into their individual mental Feywilds. She was also on tap as a backup character in my brother's second homebrew campaign, in case my first-choice character died—which never happened, so Qiranna never saw play.

Twilight clerics are powerful, but her warlock build felt more compelling. At the time (2021) I was interested in the non-PHB backgrounds, so in my brother's campaign Qiranna is an Archaeologist—a young and ambitious drow who accidentally dug up artifacts containing the spirit of a powerful shadow sorceress. Since I'd once played a Ravenwitch-like sorceress in that same campaign (albeit in a one-shot set 10,000 years in the past), this set up a cool situation where my character's warlock patron was the ghost of another older character!

Qiranna also comes from a time in my 5e history where I'd churned out umpteen dozen Charisma-based characters, and hers was the only Warlock build I liked. I don't usually play mages, so that's why I went with Hexblade—because I thought it might not be as squishy. Her motivation is for the kind of power granted by knowledge, but she's more seeker than scholar, so the cheat-code method of "magic via otherworldly patron" feels correct—a particular flavor of impatience fueled by ambition.

That also fit well with the archaeologist background, because one of my inspirations for her was Vash, the roguish artifact hunter (and Picard's frenemy-with-benefits) from Star Trek Next Generation. However, that archetype got a bit too close to another of my previous beloved characters, so I shelved it. Qiranna was set up to be a fun and interesting character, but I never actually got to play her much in tabletop, and I never really cracked the nature of how Warlocks and their pact magic worked—at least until BG3.

In BG3 Qiranna is a noble archfey-warlock with Pact of the Blade, which is about as close as I can get thematically to a shadow-sorceress-possessed hexblade. She's also notable as my first Tav whose appearance changes as the game progresses. At first that was just superficial stuff like hairstyle and subtle face ink, but now that I know how the game's gear works, it'll also work for RP. She could lean into the surface-mage role, getting further and further away from her Underdark roots.

Qiranna is currently camped in Rivington at the start of Act 3—the stereotypical unfinished BG3 playthrough. I'll probably go back to an old save to re-start her, and not just because I know more about the game than I did when first playing her. Qiranna's first run fell into the easy cliché of "let's romance Minthara because drow lesbians I guess", which now strikes me as needlessly tropey and utterly boring. So Qiranna may go a romance route I haven't explored yet, like Gale or Wyll, though neither seem to fit her character.

I might even wait to replay her until I know her better, because she feels like a mishmash of several of my other characters (with a bit of Minthara veneer), and that's not fair to her or them or anyone. But I will replay her at some point, because I want to master all the Charisma-based classes and I remain fascinated by the new flavors of drow we've been given by 5e and BG3. Also my 5e portrait of her (seen in this montage) looks like Vanessa Kirby as a drow and honestly, who wouldn't find that person compelling?

[kirnet]

for bee gee three can i get 1,3, 8, 9, 10, 21?

1. the character everyone gets wrong

astarion is just the safe and only answer here. no, he wouldn’t say that. you’re thinking of wyll. also speaking of wyll i think people just assume that he’s the nice boring one tm when he is also a freak. i love him so much

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

im too cowardly to go into the trenches so i dont leave my little safe bubble. the fenris/astarion and gale/anders comparisons make me homicidal tho

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

raphael is SO BAD AT SEX CANONICALLY. im sorry but its TRUE

9. worst part of canon

THE COMPLETE LACK OF WYLL. jesus. do my man justice give him his full amount of content. give him an act 3 story line that actually is a personal quest. absolute clown behavior they did him so dirty

10. worst part of fanon

i dont think i can think of anything rn… again i dont leave my little hole the world is so cold and scary. i guess just a general disrespect towards lae and wyll. also it is so incredibly horny. which i understand the game itself is also incredibly horny. but i think it often gets in the way of actually appreciating a character, especially when that character has issues around it like astarion

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

i dont understand the hype over isobel/aylin? dont get me wrong it’s great that there’s a main canon lesbian pairing, and i do really like aylin as a concept. (she’s very benny coded and i am but a man). but isobel is just. a wet blanket. its so boring i dont get it. i WANT to get it so bad

[wolfex126]

K and T for the fandom ask meme

Thanks for asking!! Sorry this is late, needed time t think I guess (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Kratos of Sparta 🥺🥺 Seeing the journey from a young, bloodthirsty tragedy in the flesh reap nothing but violence and hatred in his wake, transforming slowly into an older man who wants to do things right, this time - do things better, this time....... man.....

Regardless of what he has done, he is capable of being better. He proves it over and over, and he fucks it up sometimes, and yet time still turns, and he still must live with himself. It's better to accept your failures beside your victories and continue to try to be better the next day, right? I find his story very compelling, and I think, as the audience has aged alongside Kratos, it's really special to see this character age into a man bettered by his surrounding friends and his own will to do so; despite his past, he is still willing, capable, and deserving of change, and I think that's great!!

I won't get carried away, but Kratos' story is really important to me - his development is warranted, and I make no jest when I say these games changed my life KWBFKNWKD

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Mmm I have a few but I'll shoot em off real pithy like (best I can, anyway)

Sam from Sam and Max is absolutely more bottom/sub-coded to me in comparison to Max than I think the fandom demonstrates KWNDKWND,, I'm no real big fan of concrete "placements" like that I'm typically very. Every character is fluid and doesn't care but if I were to put a word to it I've always found Max to be the Proprietor, so to speak, in their behind-closed-doors intimacy more often than not

In a spiritual, half-joking sense, Mirage (Apex Legends) = Marcurio (Skyrim) = Gale (Baldur's Gate) all of which deserve to be fat/chubby figured. If you understand me you understand me I don't see a reason to elaborate more

Bloodhound, Apex Legends, is afab and tall, built like an ox - fatty and muscular and with thighs that could kill a giant. Again no need to elaborate because. Hello.

Uthgerd the Unbroken and Serana of Skyrim are lesbians. I mean they aren't together unless I guess you wanem t be I'm just saying they both are

And a fifth one to even things out because things come in either threes or fives - Lucien Lachance and the Champion of Cyrodiil absolutely had a thing going on. Like, absolutely one hundred percent. I don't have Overwhelming evidence for this but, like most things, believing is all you need right

And that's all I've got for you!! Thank you for sending these in, I had fun with my deliberation on them (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

[absolutehomosexuals]

I’m too shy to DM sorry 🙈 BUT. I thought I would share my headcanons on the characters!!

gay - Astarion

lesbian - Minthara, Karlach (her scene was for LESBIANS I stand by this)

bisexual/pan - Halsin, Wyll, Lae’zel

straight - Shadowheart?, Gale

Undecided - Jaheira, Minsc

I totally agree with Gale being straight. And Shadowheart, idk, she could be straight or bi I guess? What are your thoughts?

No worries!! We're glad to know you're out there regardless.

So, I totally agree on Astarion being gay and Minthara being a lesbian. The fact they're absolute menaces makes it even better, lmao – they're the kind of well written, fun characters I'd love to have as rep.

I can see Karlach being a lesbian: her intimate scene in act 2 looked very lesbian-coded and many men found it off putting lol, plus didn't her VA say her romanced voice lines were intended for a female character? Might just be a rumor, but it fits nonetheless.

They did put some lines in where she showed attraction to men, though, such as saying she would ride Astarion and the dream she has about Dammon while playing her Origin. I love the lesbian!Karlach hc, but I also believe she might be one of the few genuine bisexual companions based on canon sources.

I tend to see Lae'zel as a lesbian because, to me, her romance comes off as very gay coded. I intend to expand on this in a future post, so stay tuned <3 while it is true that she tries to sleep with Wyll or Astarion at the tiefling party sometimes, she literally chooses the least adequate men for the job (Stereotipical Gay Attitude Astarion and I'm Gonna Wait Until Marriage Wyll lmao) which we personally interpret as comphet.

I think Halsin is canonically bi, yeah.

Wyll looks straight to me, but I have no trouble believing he'd fully embrace a hypothetical bi awakening, which is why romancing him as a male Tav doesn't look awkward to me.

Shadowheart's lines show attraction to both women (e.g Karlach) and men (e.g Halsin), so while I love interpreting her a lesbian, she's probably bi as well.

Thanks for sharing!!

- mod orinthara

[saa-na]

okay... i collected a data set of 132 articles btwn 1975-2011 discussing star trek on gale digital scholar lab's lgbt+ primary source collection and ran a named entity recognition test on the data set just to learn that spock was the name most mentioned after gene roddenbery (there was a campaing of sending roddenbery letters demanding gay representation on tng in 1991 so his name was mentioned very often). it was very cool but also made me understand exactly how surface level these kinds of analyses are and how easy it is to make assumptions. spock was mentioned because his character is loved and would always appear in fanfiction (even if was crack about lesbian sex) but also because a bunch of gay movie critics hated star trek III: the search for spock. i assumed he was mentioned because he's gay coded and ripped his best friend's shirt while wrestling him to death.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Blog Introduction Post

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About: Hi! I'm Nyx, but the fandom knows me as Wife because of the url. Feel free to call me whichever.

This is my Hilda the Series side blog. I post about the show in general but you'll notice a bias towards some of the adult characters. I also tend to talk a lot about my favourite ships, mainly Sketchbook (Kaisa/Johanna) and Raven Scientist (Victoria Van Gale/the Raven Leader).

All Original Character content is tagged as #hilda oc, and I have one of my own! You can meet her in the #meiridom tag

Ask box is always open! I do tend to procrastinate on answering asks but I love and read every single one of them! I also tag my own asks as 📚💍. Likes/follows come from @smartheart

I write... a concerning amount of fics, sometimes. They're scattered throughout the blog, but you can read them all on ao3!

tag warnings, FAQ and current WIPs under the cut

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Tags:

#wife answers asks is very literally what it seems

#wife speaks is anything that comes to my mind

#not Hilda. Once again, quite intuitive

I tag sensitive content as cw: content. If there’s a specific one you want me to tag, please send me a dm or an ask! I really don’t want to make anyone feel bad

#my fic is for the stuff I write

#help tag is what made me write this post. It’s where I’ll reblog posts with petitions and donations for causes/people. I know it’s not what you follow me for, but this is the blog where I have the most followers

#wife’s wip talks is for me to ramble about the fics I’m currently writing

I tag my fics as fic: [acronym]

I tag my fic verses as verse: [verse name or acronym]

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FAQ:

What's that flag on your pfp? It's the moon lesbain flag! In practice it just means 'lesbian', the moon thing is more of a presentaton/aesthetic thing, the way there if femme/butch lesbians. Not a label I really apply to myself anymore, but it's too Kaisa coded to ignore

Is it okay to tag you on posts? Yes, always!

Is it okay to send a DM? Yeah! I may take long to reply, but it's a me thing. I do ask you to keep in mind that I don't know you, though, so please have discernment idjfhskjdf

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Works in Progress and AUs:

(Those with links embedded in their names will take you to their ao3 content)

The Meiridom - Everything pertaining to my Bell Keeper's daughter OC. Tagged as #meiridom or simply #meiri

The Carpe Diem 'verse - A multi-fic sketchbook centered verse that also features Raven Scientist and many other character dynamics. University AU. Tagged as #verse: carpe diem. I apparently didn't properly tag the individual instalments when posting (sorry)

The Nature vs. Nurture 'verse - A Victoria Van Gale/Raven Leader verse. What I imagine their relationship would be like in hidden moments within canon. Tagged as #verse: n vs. n and #fic: kywc, #fic: lywd (I seem to not have tagged the first instalment. I am not very good at this)

The Trolberg General Hospital 'verse - It's a hospital AU, what can I say. Debut fic is already on ao3, main fic is a WIP. Sketchbook centered, with many side pairings and dynamics. Tagged as #verse: tgh and #fic: cellularity

The LImelight 'verse - Sketchbook centered Rockstar AU. Debut fic is already on ao3, main fic is a WIP. Tagged as #verse: limelight and fic: backstage

The Beauty and The Witch 'verse - Sketchbook Beauty and the Beast AU. Began posting on ao3 years ago and will hopefully attempt to edit and complete it taking in consideration post s2 changes. Tagged as #fic: batw

FIgure Skating AU - Doesn't yet have a name or any fics, only a timeline and a couple of ideas. I might write snippets in the future, though. Tagged as #figure skating AU

[missolitude]

hi! so it seems that i’m highkey stanning patricia clarkson and i was wondering if you had any movie/show recommendations with her in them? (i’ve only seen lars & the real girl, sharp objects, and easy a oop)

Heyia! I happen to be a highkey Patricia stan too and I’m always happy to talk about her so you’ve come to the right woman 😁😘

These are some of my faves, Sharp Objects in particular! If you enjoyed her character and are curious to know more about her I absolutely recommend reading the book by Gillian Flynn as well. I feel like the show adaptation made some unnecessary changes and left some really relevant parts out, presumably because they wouldn’t translate well on screen. There is a lot more to Adora and her background than the show reveals.

As for recommendations (descriptions all spoiler free of course):

Cairo Time: A beautiful, enchanting (and nonetheless unconventional) romance that pulls at the heartstrings. Patricia’s charismatic aura and her character carry the movie every step of the way. Her performance is captivating and tantalizing and it will forever stay with me.

Learning to Drive: A movie about love and friendship, and how two people that, at first glance, have nothing in common but end up enriching each other’s lives in the most unpredictable of ways. It is very moving and touching, a totally rare gem and again, unconventional.

Elegy: The main story might interest you or not, but I’ve enjoyed this movie long before I’ve stanned Patricia because it has such a beautiful love story at its center. Patricia only has a couple of small but meaningful appearances in it but her role is extremely saucy and unconventionally sexual and she has some very hot scenes in it.

Out of Blue: The most recent of her films. It might be your cup of tea, might not. Patricia plays a detective that must solve a murder case. This is compelling for a number of reasons: Her character is queer coded, she has one sapphic scene in it, and she almost gives me soft butch vibes in this. Apart from this, Patricia carries the entire movie completely alone, personally I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The movie is very mysterious and slowly unfolds and always keeps you guessing. If you found any of this interesting please give it a watch.

Jonathan: A sci fi movie with a really cool concept and a brilliant execution. A boy called Jonathan goes to bed every night. Every morning he wakes up and there is a breakfast prepared for him along with a video telling him about the second part of his day. Does that sound intriguing to you? Please check it out, it’s as interesting as it sounds. Patricia has some minor but meaningful appearances and they get more and more frequent as the movie unfolds.

Delirium: It was the movie that originally made me research about her. It’s a very well executed horror thriller but not the overly scary variety. It’s very psychological and character driven and there are a couple of really cool twists. Honestly check out that movie it’s so underrated. Patricia’s role is extremely badass and she only has a couple of minor appearances but they were oh so worth it.

The Party: Basically it’s a movie that more or less resembles a theatre piece, a couple of people, who all have their own problems, come together one evening and drama unfolds. Patricia looks like a Hollywood Goddess all the way through it and has the most sardonic and witty lines. And there’s an age gap lesbian relationship with Cherry Jones and Emily Mortimer, just to mention that as well. Not overly brilliant but it happened.

House of Cards: Now this is a problematic show that will leave you broken hearted at the end, because they did Patricia’s character so dirty and in the last season the writing is abhorrent. But I truly enjoyed it up to that point! If you just wanna watch it for Patricia’s scenes it is worth it. (Her first appearance is S5 Ep8) If you are a completionist like me you can watch the show from the beginning for more context because the writing is complex, but you don’t have to. Jane Davis is one of the most intriguing, multi-faceted roles she has ever played and there is a lot of sapphic tension going on. It often left me baffled to the point where I needed to rewind just because I couldn’t believe that these things actually happened. So it is more than worth it, just brace yourself for a broken heart.

These are the main recommendations that I would give to anyone who wants to watch the crème de la crème of her filmography.

Memorable mentions: Shutter Island, because the movie is brilliant but her tiny appearance is barely worth the mention. The Green Mile: again, a classic but don’t watch it just for Patricia. Her appearances are very memorable and emotional and she’s exceptional but they are short. The Station Agent: She is adorable in it and she has the lead! Really a classic and a fave of mine. October Gale: A really cool movie and she was badass in it, she also said in an interview that she worked out for that one and it shows! Last Weekend: Loved her performance more than the movie itself but her character is dear to my heart. Parcs and Recreation: She has two tiny but memorable and hilarious appearances, extremely lighthearted and funny. It’s Getting Late: It’s just a short movie and it’s basically just eye candy but she looks ICONIC in it and she also has a couple of scenes were she looks at a lady in the not so straight way. High Art: Patricia plays a German lesbian heroin addict, and she has some saucy sapphic make out sessions. It was the movie that eventually led to her career break through because the role was so unlike anything she had ever played before. She often mentions this role to this day and I think it’s worth knowing and watching.

There ya go! I hope this was some help to you and that you’ll enjoy the movies 😁💞💞

[loveydoveypiperwright]

15 questions!

Thank you @fen-harel !!

Are you named after someone?

Yes, doubly so. My actual name is two names smushed into one. The first half was in memory of my mothers best friend who named her daughters after flora. (So I’m a flower) The second is a common part of the names my grandmothers and great-grandmothers have had on both sides of the family. The name I use on the internet (Gwyneth) is bc I think it's such a beautiful name. Nothin' more lol

When was the last time you cried?

Aside from stress crying, like two days ago? Kaidan was yelling at Shepard on Horizon for working with Cerberus despite the fact Shep had no choice to do so and the way his VA said those lines had me SOB BI N G

BABY BOY IM SORRY UGSHHSGSH

Do you have kids?

Ha! No. Never will. Unless whoever I end up falling in love with has kids of her own, I don't need that burden on me. Thank god for being a lesbian. (I have a kitty though!)

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I get myself into trouble quite frequently because of how often I do lmao whoOpsie

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their teeth, probs bc I hate mine. (I mean, ofc the eyes but I don't make note of 'em.)

What’s your eye color?

Honey brown with a dark green ring on the rim.

Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

Happy endings! (I'm a wuss)

Any special talents?

Not that I know of. I can learn a coding language quickly if that means anything.

Where were you born?

Las Vegas, Nevada.

What are your hobbies?

Playing video games and surfing the internet.

Do you have any pets?

Yeah! My kitty! Riversong Flooferball is the cutest baby I've ever had.

How tall are you?

5'9". 5'10" in my boots. (I wish I was taller smh)

What sports do you play/have you played?

Never played any. I used to be good at frisbee baseball in elementary school though.

Favorite subject at school?

History! History is the bomb! (Sorry Hiroshima)

Dream job?

Video game developer! Preferably one for a company I like but it doesn't matter.

Tagging! Hey @medievalrat , @dreamhunter-trash , @fourletterepithet , @morriganisdead , and @lady-knight-in-gale wanna give this a go? Don't have to if ya' don't want to, just tossin' it up there 😁

[amorremanet]

For the meme: Hunger Games?

my all-time ultimate fave character: Katniss and Finnick. Like, I have a lot of them who I love, but Katniss and Finnick are tied for my number one spot.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Mrs. Everdeen took a while to grow on me, but by the end of Mockingjay, she really had.

a character I used to like but now don’t: tbh, it’s not that I used to like Peeta and now don’t, because I never really liked him and I still wouldn’t say that I dislike him, personally

—but there’s a lot about Peeta, especially with regard to his and Katniss’s relationship, that I find troublesome for various reasons (e.g., the way that Katniss, who is definitely canonically dark-skinned and is written against a backdrop that’s blatantly inspired by the racialized dimensions of classism and poverty, is always contextualized as Not Really Deserving the blonde white boy, who is regularly written in terms that are super not subtle about comparing him to Jesus)

To say nothing of how the text itself seems to agree with this idea, and does shit like go, “Wow, Peeta is oppressed by the Capitol too, like damn Katniss how much of a bitch are you, I mean your family and Gale’s only haven’t very literally starved to death because you and Gale know how to hunt, but wow, damn, Peeta had to help make the goat cheese and apple tarts and he wasn’t allowed to eat them because they were too expensive, that’s totally the same thing as people in the Seam literally starving to death”

Like, I’m not saying that Peeta and his family weren’t oppressed by the Capitol, because they were…… but it’s explicitly established in-text that the Capitol manufactures gradations as part of how they try to keep the Districts all fighting each other instead of fighting them, so yes, Peeta and his family did not experience the same thing as Gale, Katniss, and theirs, and part of that difference was how the Mellarks didn’t need to worry about getting enough to eat, they just couldn’t eat the expensive treats

The thing that bugs me the most, though, is the way that Peeta has supposedly been in love with Katniss since they were kids — except……… how? How can you say that he has truly been in love with Katniss when he, by his own goddamn admission, knew basically nothing about her and never even tried to get to know her for real? I’d buy that he was in love with his ludicrous headcanons about Katniss, but that’s not the same as being in love with Katniss Everdeen: Actual Person

And sorry not sorry, Peeta, but it is NOT true that you, “couldn’t talk to her”; you COULD have talked to Katniss and you chose not to talk to Katniss or deal with her at all in any context where you didn’t have the power of life and death over her (whether it was because she was literally dying of starvation, or because she needed you to make her look sympathetic to viewers in the 74th Games, and you needed her to literally and immediately keep you alive)

……Also, his version of how he fell in love with her has way too much in common with Dante Alighieri’s account of how he first fell in love with Beatrice Portinari for me to be truly okay with it, because Dante is one of the Western Literary Canon’s biggest examples of entitled dudebros who objectify women even while they claim to adore them (because over-idealizing someone is a form of dehumanizing them).

This said, I still don’t dislike Peeta. I just don’t think he’s that great, or that he’s as pure and innocent and cinnamon roll-ish as the books and fandom all make him out to be. Even without my misgivings about Ever*lark, ffs, he is one of the sneakiest, most manipulative characters in the series, and his BS sense of entitlement doesn’t only come out with Katniss

a character I’m indifferent about: Presidents Coin and Snow are both well-executed villains, but I don’t have a lot of feelings about them, personally. They were actually helped by the movies, for me, because Donald Sutherland and Julianne Moore were both really good in their roles, and it made me like them a little more, even if it still didn’t make me have feelings about them or anything

a character who deserved better: Most of them, tbh, but my top six are (in no particular order) Johanna, Madge, Rue, Annie, Finnick, and Gale

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Katniss/Peeta, see above

But also? Gale/Madge. In my experience, the whole thing only exists so people can have some kind of “uptown girl” fantasy and go, “Look, see, I don’t hate Gale!!! Stop saying that I hate Gale!!! Just let me shove him off to the side and completely mischaracterize the shit out of him and pair him up with Madge for no reason beyond getting him out of the way so I can have Katniss/Peeta!!!!”

Also, Madge Undersee is a lesbian. #sorrynotsorry

Even worse: Effie/Haymitch. For one thing, both of them are gay. I don’t know what books everybody else is reading, but in MY copies of the books, Effie and Haymitch are both gay as fuck, why would you pair up a gay man and a lesbian like that unless it’s like, a situation where Effie and Haymitch get married so no one knows that they’re actually married to Portia and Cinna, respectively

But aside from that (because it’s admittedly a matter of my own headcanons even though I refuse to back down from them), I just??? Effie/Haymitch is just so blatantly a bunch of straight nonsense, pairing the two of them up because he’s a man and she’s a woman and therefore any time they exchange more than two words, it’s ~flirting~ even when Effie has HAPPILY AND ENERGETICALLY been a part of the system that treats all the kids Haymitch as mentored as if their lives mean nothing, and she’s been helping shepherd them to their deaths without getting that this is not good until it affects Katniss and Peeta (which only makes Effie get it because she likes them), and as much as Haymitch’s distaste for Effie is understandable, a lot of his lashing out at her isn’t actually coming from a place of, “I object to you for these fair reasons” so much as it’s coming from a place of Haymitch being a troll for the sake of being a troll, and I just

Why

Why is this ship a THING

Why is it so fucking POPULAR

I only understand this phenomenon in the most cynical way possible (i.e., the way where my explanation for it is, “they are so popular because it’s an M/F ship and, in the movies, both of them are white, even though Haymitch has dark skin and black hair, and the same racialized poverty-coded background as Gale and Katniss, in the books”)

Also, both of them are gay, sooooooo……… #sorrynotsorry

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Katniss/Johanna, Katniss/Madge, Katniss/Finnick, Annie/Finnick

a cute, low-key ship: Annie/Johanna, and in some AU where Rue and Prim both get to grow up, I think they’d be cute together.

Also, Gale/Peeta. I’m just saying, it’s a perfect solution to the issue of the alleged love triangle because it means neither of them ends up without a ship, but Katniss doesn’t have to be with either of them.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: dude, my only M/F “ship that deserves to be called an OTP” for Katniss is called a crack ship by most of the fandom, even though she and Finnick have better-written relationship development than Katniss/Peeta and even though Finnick consistently respects Katniss Everdeen: Actual Facts Person and not some shiny pretty pretty princess headcanon about her

Sure, he may not want to be her friend, at first, because he assumes, like she does, that friends are not A Thing that’s going to happen, and if he maybe feels like he has been tasked with babysitting her and Peeta during the Quarter Quell, then… that’s not actually inaccurate, because he was kinda tasked with babysitting them by the other rebels.

Like, helping the two of them to survive and getting them out of the arena was the job that Finnick and Mags were given by the other rebels, and he had to be more hands-on about it than, say, Johanna, since Katniss wanted to have an alliance with Mags, which meant she had to have one with Finnick

So, no. The two of them aren’t exactly cozying up to each other in Catching Fire, because both of them are playing certain parts and performing certain versions of themselves based on a lot of assumptions about How The Fuck This Shit Works and a lot of assumptions about their roles and positions in everything (which admittedly end up being less than accurate… because both of them have been manipulated and lied to by everybody who’s pulling the strings)

Anyway, I shouldn’t go on about this too much more because it will make me get defensive and angry, but Finnick and Katniss are my autistic children and they are not a goddamn crack ship and if I had money, I would pay people to stop saying that so I could look at their tags and only see people tagging everything with them as “BROTP,” as opposed to that plus people calling them a crack ship

Also: Finnick/Gale, Cinna/Haymitch, Annie/Katniss

Also, I didn’t really LIKE Gale/Katniss, but it made me feel more things than Katniss/Peeta (even if I have more thoughts on that one, that’s the thing: they’re thoughts, not Feels; the only thing that I ever really feel about Katniss/Peeta is frustrated), and the whole, “Katniss is all but explicitly suicidal and that’s why she wants to mack on Gale” thing from Mockingjay totally does it for a lot of my angsty catharsis interests

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Effie/Haymitch. I went, “EEEUGH” out loud when they kissed, when I say MJ2 in the theatre, and I didn’t feel bad about it because: 1. all of the people who loved them collectively when, “AWWWWW”; and 2. eww, can you say, “what the fuck is this hetero pandering bullshit”

my favourite storyline/moment: The entire, “I drag myself out of nightmares and find there’s no relief in waking. Better not to give into it” scene, because I’m a human cliché and Katniss and Finnick are my autistic children. Also, any and every Joniss scene, because I’m garbage and a human cliché and I just want them to be together, is that so bad

a storyline that never should have been written: idk about anyone else, but I personally choose to live in a world where the series-long alleged “love triangle” was between Katniss/Madge and Johanna/Katniss, and the Katniss/Peeta stuff was only ever during the Games and not actually for real, and Gale and Peeta can go do each other or something, because fuck forced hetero love triangles, that’s why

Also? I’m willing to accept that Prim’s death was legitimately necessary for the plot and the narrative, in the same way that I hate Sirius Black’s death but accept that it was necessary for the sake of the story that JKR wanted to tell, so I can just go, “I see your point and I don’t begrudge you this in canon, but I am going to headcanon around it anyway because I don’t like it”

—but there was ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to kill Finnick. See, much like JKR’s senseless murders of Remus and Tonks in DH, Finnick’s death did nothing to make a point that hadn’t already been made multiple times over, and it added nothing to the story. Yea, like JKR before her, SCollins only killed Finnick for the sake of cheap shock value and reaffirming certain ideas about heroism that the rest of the series tried to deconstruct

It was pointless, it was senseless, it wasn’t necessary, and the story, characters, and readers all deserved better than that

Finnick Odair is happy and fine and he’s definitely alive, because all that unadulterated bullshit, “lmao finnick dies” crap never happened

my first thoughts on the series: uh. The first time I tried to read the books, I didn’t even get to the games themselves, because SCollins introduced Madge, introduced the backstory of her and Katniss being like kinda friends but kinda not but they’re not sure, and I was like, “ugh, why. I already know you’re going to make me suffer this bullshit between the two boys, but why would you hand me a totally valid and much more interesting F/F option. Why” and on the other hand, because Katniss reminded me too much of myself at a point when I wasn’t ready to deal with that

my thoughts now: We all deserved better, but I say that all the time about the HP series, too, so me feeling like the series was kind of a let down in various places and criticizing different aspects of it? Isn’t going to stop me from enjoying it

Also, Finnick is fine, Madge is fine, Effie and Haymitch are gay, Gale is bi, and most of my favorite characters are autistic because I said so, that’s why (—I mean, I actually have cases based on canon evidence for Finnick and Katniss, but my real rationale here is, “I want them to be autistic, so they are now, okay peace bye”)