#Germany and it starts being cold when it hits zero

[mrsalwayswrite]

Say You’ll Stay - Chapter 9

Fury/Band of Brothers Crossover Fic

There are a million excuses I could give as to why its taken me so long to update. So I will simply say- writer’s block. Here we are though! 

Tag List: @happyveday​ @alwaysindecemberfeels​ @saritanotserena​

Series Masterlist

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He did not know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do. He knew what he should do. But when those two options were at odds, that left him in the quandary of what to actually do. 

 Either way, Anna was in trouble and did not even know it yet. 

 "Fuck." He muttered to himself. 

 "Something to add, Sergeant Collier?"

 Don looked over to meet the stern, blue eyes of Captain Winters. "No, sir."

 The redheaded captain stared at the tank commander for a moment before continuing speaking to the other officers in HQ. "This town here is a key point for supplies for the Germans. There is a railroad next to the town that intelligence says is crucial to them. Once we get control of the town, we'll secure it until 1st Battalion can relieve us." Winters said, pointing at a spot on the map laid across the table. 

 Don glanced back out the window, watching Captain Evans walk away from the HQ building. It had been three days since they arrived in Haguenau, and Captain Evans planned on leaving in two more. 

 The dark-haired intelligence officer began speaking next. "Our sources say it's only infantry there. It seems most of the tanks have been recalled back to Germany. Either way, we expect resistance but as to how much, we aren't sure."

 "That's why we are sending the Armored Division with you. Sergeant Collier will lead the four tanks in assistance." Winters said. "They will follow behind. At this point we've been asked to minimize damage to property but I will not trade it for lives. Understand?"

 A chorus of "yes, sir" answered him. 

 "Excellent. Fox Company will lead the assault with some of Dog Company in reserve. Have your men ready, you leave at oh-six hundred tomorrow. Any questions?"

 Don tried to focus on the rest of the discussion. He was leading his platoon for fuck's sake into another fight, but his thoughts kept drifting to Captain Evans leaving and what that meant. 

 Anna would be leaving too. 

 She had been sent to stay with Captain Evans, to be a medic and translator. She was never supposed to come to Haguenau. Don was never supposed to give a fuck about her. Their brief encounters back at that field hospital were supposed to be the extent of their interactions. Yet here he was. Worried for her safety. He and his crew were leaving tomorrow for the next fight. Captain Evans would leave the next day to start pushing into Germany. 

 His mind whirled with questions. Who would protect Anna? Who would make sure she ate and slept? Who would make sure she was looking out for herself just as much as her patients? 

 Don barely heard the dismissal from Captain Winters. The shuffling of feet and low cadence of voices heading towards the door thrust him back into reality from his dark thoughts. Without a word or acknowledging the paratroopers he would be working with, he headed out of the Battalion HQ and walked towards his lodgings. His mind raced with more questions than answers.  

 He knew what he wanted to do. 

 He knew what he should do. 

 Both options made him clench his jaw and want to punch a hole in a wall. 

 He trudged back to the house, throwing open the door, uncaring of the way it slammed into the wall. Stepping towards the common room, he saw Davis, Binkowski, Grady and a few others playing cards on a short table. A few others lounged around in the sunny room. 

 "What's the news, Wardaddy?" Binkowski asked, keeping his eyes on the cards in his hand. 

 "Leaving tomorrow. Oh-six hundred. Make sure your men got their shit together."

 "You alright, Don?" 

 He had not even heard Boyd come around the corner from the kitchen. His sharp gaze landed on his gunner, who was watching him warily. "Yeah, fucking fine." He snapped; his frustration was a writhing mess of snakes in his gut. 

 Christ, he needed some peace and quiet and a cigarette. Don stormed through the common room to head up the stairs, uncaring of the confused looks around him. In his haste to leave, he accidently bumped a flimsy chair someone must have left out. It just caught him at the right angle and dug into his side, nothing painful but just enough to infuriate him even more. He had not even realized how angry he was until the chair caught him, but it was the catalyst that released the pent-up frustration. 

 With a snarl, he grabbed the back of the chair and threw it against the wall. The sounds of wood snapping and breaking filled the now silent room. Without a word, without stopping, because if one person said something to him, he would beat the fucking shit out of them, he stalked up the stairs to his shared room. 

 After throwing the door open, he kicked it shut. The solid boom of the door slammed back only made him want to do it again and again. Instead he moved to drop onto the bed, sitting on the edge and quickly lit a cigarette. He took a long drag, the smoke immediately bringing some relief to him. 

 He was surprised Norman was not in the bedroom. When he left for the meeting, Norman had been curled up in the bed sleeping still. At first, he thought Norman slept so much because he was sick. Now he was beginning to wonder if the kid absorbed sleep like a desert soaking up a rainstorm; the rarity of it making it harder to ignore and easier to overindulge. 

 It could not have been even two minutes later when the bedroom door slowly opened. Don dropped his head in one of his hands, the other still holding the cigarette. 

 "Wanna explain what that was?"

 "Not now, Boyd." Don hissed, not looking up. 

 The gunner rocked back on his heels, the floorboards creaking under the motion. "A'right. Well, I'm just gonna be right here when you ready to talk."

 He chuckled darkly. Five minutes. He could not even get five fucking minutes alone. He tried to ignore Boyd as he stared out the window. 

 "Where's Norman?" He finally asked after taking another hit of his cigarette. 

 "Gordo took 'im to the aid station to see Anna."

 "She's not coming here?"

 "Dunno."

 "Fuck." Don whispered, rubbing a hand over his face. He suddenly felt like he should be in his sixties or seventies, not just recently turned thirty. His mind played over the past three days since they arrived in Haguenau. Besides that first day of their arrival, Anna had been over every day. He knew it was mostly to check in on Norman and make sure his cold did not worsen but she usually ended up staying for some time or if someone could convince or threaten her enough, she would also catch up on some sleep. During that time he had become so used to seeing her around, it felt strange to question if she was coming back or not. In his mind, she was a part of his crew, and he was positive he was not the only one to feel that way. 

 He needed her safe. 

 That was what everything seemed to come back to for him. He cared about her safety, like he would any of his crew. Except he knew, he wanted to be the one to keep her safe. To keep her gentle smile on him. To be the one she turned to. He felt like a moth drawn to her flame. 

 He knew what he needed to do. He doubted she was going to like it. Hell, if they got caught he wondered if he would lose his rank by going behind the backs of his superiors. He had to do something though. He had to keep her safe. Well, as safe as anyone could be while at war. 

 He knew the truth though- he wanted her close….to him. 

 With a groan, he stuck the cigarette between his lips then pushed against his knees to stand up. 

 "Where you goin'?"

 "Stay here."

 Boyd stood up, blocking the door. "What's goin' on, Don?"

 He debated just pushing Boyd out of the way before shaking his head. "Captain Evans leaves in two days."

 "Uh huh. Anna mentioned somethin' about the wounded finally being moved to a field hospital today. Probably why she ain't here."

 "We leave tomorrow." Don flatly stated. 

 Boyd's eyebrows drew together. "I feel like I'm missin' somethin'."

 "Anna is supposed to go with Evans. That was why she was sent."

 He could see the light bulb go off in Boyd's mind when what Don said finally clicked. His eyes widened, a myriad of emotions flickered across his face ranging from horror to frustration and what could be despair.

 "What…." Boyd stopped, looking off to the side and taking a deep breath before turning back to his commander. "What we gonna do?"

 "I'll take care of it."

 "Don…."

 "Stay here, Boyd. Start gettin' ready to leave tomorrow. I won't be gone long." This time he did gently push Boyd out of the way and with a long look, he stalked out of the room, down the stairs and outside. 

 He made his way to the aid station, only having to jump behind a building once to avoid a mortar. This was his first time coming to the aid station in Haguenau, having had no reason prior to come. He was pleased it was in better shape than most of the other buildings and further back from the river and Nazis. 

 Soon as he stepped through, he was hit with the smell of sanitation, coffee, and dried blood. 

 "Where's the nurse?" He growled at a pair of medics who stared at him like he was the grim reaper come to take their souls. One pointed towards the back. Don stormed in that direction, boots pounding on the wood floor. 

 He arrived at what most likely had been someone's study or library prior to the war but had been converted to the aid station. His gaze zeroed in on her folding up some blankets while she chatted with a medic. He stalked towards her. She only turned her head to look up at him as he was within five feet of her. 

 "Don?" The sweet smile on her face immediately faded away as she took in the serious expression he wore. 

 "We need to talk." He stated, moving to stand beside her. 

 "Of course, let me…"

 "No. Now." He grabbed her upper arm and started to pull her from the room. The other medic started to say something but snapped his mouth shut at the icy glare Don sent him. 

 "What's going on?"

 He ignored her question, looking down at her once they were in the hallway. "Where can we speak in private?" 

 "Upstairs." 

 Once she seemed to sense his urgency, he allowed her to lead him up the stairs and into a room that seemed to be used by the medics to store their personal effects. Two cots were pushed against opposite walls, both empty thankfully. Soon as he shut the door behind them, he rounded on her. 

 "You need to hide."

 "Ex....excuse me?" She stuttered, sapphire eyes peering up at him, wide and unblinking.  

 "Captain Evans plans on leaving the day after tomorrow."

 "We heard. One of the lieutenants stopped by after the wounded were taken to inform us. Why does…"

 He cut her off. "My crew and I are being sent out. We leave tomorrow. I don't know how soon we'll be back. So, you need to hide until Captain Evans leaves."

 "I don't.… I don't understand, Don."

 "Fuck!" He moved closer to her, grabbing both of her upper arms, his hands wrapping completely around them. "Listen. I can't protect you if you are in some other goddamn country. You can't leave with the Captain, alright? You stay here. You stay low and you'll get left behind. When we come back, I'll take care of you."

 "But…. I mean, I'll be fine. The men are….um…. It’ll work out. I'm more worried about you and the others. You are going into a fight!"

 "Fuck them and fuck the fight!" He shouted, moving away before he shook her, trying to make her understand. How could she not see what he was trying to do? "I don't trust those bastards to keep their hands off you! And you shouldn't either! Who's going to look out for you? Huh? Who's going to make sure they don't lay a fucking finger on you?! Cause I can promise you, it won't fucking be them!"

 He stood in front of her, chest heaving from the anger rolling through him like a tsunami wave. Only now, after his words spewed out like vitriol did he witness the effect. The tears that welled in her eyes, how one of her hands covered her mouth, the other wrapped around her torso almost in a self-hug. 

 "Anna…" Resentment towards himself flooded through his veins. Slowly he tried to reach out to her, to place a hand on her shoulder with an apology dancing on the tip of his tongue, but froze when she flinched.

 And that hurt worse than being pierced with a bullet. 

 He made no further move towards her, afraid of her reaction. Frustrated at everything but mostly himself in the moment, he ran his hands through his hair. 

 Her gaze had dropped to the floorboards, hunched into herself. Finally after several seconds, she whispered. "What do you want from me, Don?"

 What did he want from her? Hell, if he was still trying to come to terms with that answer himself. In the moment, he chose to honestly answer. 

 "I want you safe."

 His equally soft reply made her head jerk up, eyes meeting his. "Why?"

 "You're a part of my crew...and I swore to make sure they survive this war. I can't do that if you're in another company."

 "Is that the only reason?"

 Did she know how loaded that question was? How this growing tension between the two of them grated on him? Not because he disliked it. No. Because he wanted her closer. But this was war, and no one was guaranteed tomorrow. So he answered with something that tasted like a half-truth. "The only one that matters right now."

 She sniffled, wiping away the moisture from her eyes with her dainty fingers. 

 As if approaching an injured animal, he carefully shifted closer to her. Seeing the tears in her eyes broke what resolve he meagerly held. He hated that he made her cry, made her flinch. It tore at his soul. Something his mind demanded he fix, for both of them.

 Hesitantly, he reached forward and clasped her hands in his. She inhaled sharply, but only tightened her grip on his hands. The air between them felt charged with something unnamed but powerful. The way their gazes locked, hands holding each other, as if they had been put under a spell neither wished to escape. 

 "I need you safe, darling…." He murmured, the words flowing out of him without his conscious approval. Only after did they hang in the air, waiting to stoke the fire between them or shatter everything like glass. 

 "Darling?" The corners of her lips turned up in a barely-there smile. 

 He huffed a short laugh. "That alright?"

 "Yes." She answered with a blush growing on her cheeks. 

 And damn if that sight didn't stir something within him. Following his instincts, he gently tugged her closer, pulling her into a warm embrace, beyond pleased when she practically melted against him. His arms went around her back while her arms wrapped around his waist. Her cheek laid against the middle of his chest and he wondered if she could hear it pounding within him. Not for the first time was he reminded how small and vulnerable she seemed, tucked against his body now. He knew and witnessed how strong she truly was though. Faced with blood and death and distraught, she still persevered. 

 She sighed after some time, neither attempting to end the embrace. "I'll try to hide but I don't know where I could. All the medics know I'm here. Arthur and the others will be expecting me to join them especially after losing…" Her voice trailed off. 

 He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "We'll figure it out. I promise." 

 "I trust you." They continued to stand there, finding solace in one another but also a silent understanding between them. Of affections that were too dangerous to say aloud but still lingered in the air. A few seconds later, her whisper disturbed the peace. "I'm so tired of this war."

 "Me too."

 A knock on the door broke their moment but when Anna tried to step away from Don, he only held her tighter, unwilling to give her up but also wanting to protect her. He watched the door open to reveal a medic, who although his face seemed calm, there was an undercurrent of tension in the way he clenched his jaw and the shifting of his eyes as he immediately took in the scene before him. 

 "Chérie? Everythin' alright? Spina said he 'eard yellin'."

 Only when she turned to face the medic did Don let her go. "Yes. I'm sorry, Gene. It's nothing.... just a misunderstanding."

 "Mmm." The medic glanced back down the hallway then stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him. "Someone wanna tell me what's goin' on?"

 Don immediately recognized the name Gene. She had referenced him multiple times when she had been over taking care of Norman. By the way she spoke about him, Don picked up that she trusted him and they were friendly. Perhaps he had an ally here after all. 

 "Are you able to hide her?" He asked bluntly, knowing his time was running short to figure out a plan. 

 Gene's eyebrows scrunched together. "What?"

 "Don, no... it’s fine," she answered at the same time, placing a hand on his arm, "I'll figure out something."

 "Nah, chérie." Gene looked back over to Don, expression reserved but determined. "What do ya mean?"

 Don quickly explained the situation, impressed by the medic with the thick accent and how he absorbed the information thrown at him without too many questions. 

 Gene nodded once at the end, gaze downward as he ran his tongue over his teeth. Finally, he looked up at the two. "I know somewhere. They got some extra room. Lemme talk to their Sergeant first."

 Anna's gaze bounced between the two men, clearly unable to believe what she was hearing. "We can't do this. We'll get…. I don't want to cause more problems or get people in trouble. What happens when your Captain finds out?"

 Gene shrugged. "Winters is a good man. He might not like it but he'll understand." He paused, tapping a finger on his crossed arms. "I'll go now. Anna, stay here, get ya things gathered. We'll bring ya over tonight."

 She stared at both of them again before Don could visibly see her acceptance when her shoulders sagged. With a roll of her eyes, she gave the medic a cheeky salute. "Yes, sir."

 "Fille effrontée." He grinned. 

 She blew him an air kiss that made him shake his head, a small grin on his lips. The two men nodded at each other once more before the medic slipped back out. 

 Once alone again, she turned back around, placing her hands on his chest, peering up at him earnestly. "Be safe, please...tell the others for me too."

 "I will." 

 This time he leaned down as she rose up on her toes to press a kiss to his jawline. His hands tightened on her waist, where they had landed. Instead of immediately pulling back after she fell back onto her flat feet, he lingered. Hovering over her, he cupped her cheek, guiding her head. She was completely pliant under his touch, allowing him to tilt her face until their noses almost touched. He was spellbound, staring down at her. Her gentle breaths sliding across his mouth tantalizingly. It was the soft adoration and trust in her sapphire eyes that pulled in his chest and stole the breath from his lungs. She was too good, too pure for someone like him. Yet he could not draw away from her, captured in her tender affections, left breathless by her kindness. Turning his face just slightly, he could feel the corner of her mouth against his, her warm breath hitting his cheek. 

 "I should go." He whispered, without moving away. 

 Her hands slid up to the nape of his neck, causing him to suppress a low groan as her chest pressed against his. "Don, please come back." Her words pierced his heart. 

 "I will, I promise." This time he brushed his lips over hers. It was just a moment, the faintest of touches but the spark it ignited in him felt like an inferno awakening. 

 Abruptly he pulled back, turned on his heels and walked out. If he stayed any longer, she would be in his arms, his mouth devouring hers, her back pressed against the nearest wall. He had half a mind to turn back and do that just now. But he kept walking. Why she held any affections for him left him boggled. She deserved better than him. He wanted her though. Christ above, he wanted her. It was becoming a truth he could not ignore. 

 And that barely-there kiss only proved it. 

 *****

 Anna followed behind Gene as they headed to a different building, supposedly where she would stay hidden. She worried all of this would blow up in their faces eventually, that the men would get in trouble because of her, that she would be sent away to a company she did not know. Would the army count this as desertion? Fears and concerns tormented her mind, but it was too late now. Her feet were already planted firmly on the path. Physically and metaphorically. 

 Gene had told her that she would stay with the paratrooper platoon until after Captains Evans and his company left. The Cajun medic had already started a rumor along with Spina, who seemed to be enjoying all this espionage a little too much, that she had been sent to assist a family living just outside of Haguenau where the wife was in labor with her first child. It would explain why she was only gone for a short time and as to why her sudden disappearance. Plus, Gene reasoned it sounded like something she would do. She could not blame him there. It would be. 

 So now, they walked in the late hours of the night, moonlight highlighting the ground beneath their feet. The ill-fitting ODs, the coat from a dead soldier and her medic satchel were the only things she owned. All of her other possessions and clothing had blown up when the medic truck was hit during the surprise attack. She desperately tried not to think about that fact. She was alive and with no injuries. Twenty-two men lost their lives that day. Her few belongings were minimal compared to that. 

 She still missed her book though. 

 Gene did not even knock when they reached the damaged house. Quietly, he opened the door and shifted so she could walk in first. The wooden floorboards creaked beneath her feet, making her freeze for a moment. Only after a word of encouragement from Gene did she continue. As she stepped in, she could hear the murmuring of voices suddenly fall silent. Knowing Gene was at her side and he trusted these men, she took a deep breath before taking another step forward. 

 She rounded the corner from the entryway and towards what must have been a common room before the war. There were three men, two sitting on beat-up looking couches and one standing. The moonlight shining through the window cast everything in deep shadows. Somehow it felt appropriate for all that these men had been through. How they were still waiting for the sun to shine on them again, to beat back the shadows and nightmares and remind them to hope and dream of the future without war hovering over them like a furie.

 It was as she met the gaze of the one standing, staring at her, that she could feel tears well up in her eyes. He looked so world-weary, as if he had not slept in years and all peace had abandoned him. His eyes once so bright with laughter and life were now dull. His once expressive face was now weathered and closed-off. Only his red hair looked the same. It broke her heart. 

 "Donnie…." She softly said. 

 The corners of his lips lifted up at the nickname she bestowed upon him so long ago. "Hi, Anna."

 Without warning or a care for his reaction, she flew across the room. She threw her arms around him, the top of her head just at his chin. A few tears spilled as he seemed to hesitate at her action, as if he had forgotten what a hug was, as if he no longer understood how to be comforted. Then slowly his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer to his chest. 

 "I'm so sorry, Donnie." She mumbled against him, fighting a losing battle against the tears flooding her eyes. "Muck and Penkala…. they were the best of men. I'm so sorry. And for the others too." 

 He stiffened at the names of his deceased best friends. She could feel the shudder that ran through him, the soft sob he forced back. "Not…. not your fault." He finally whispered, a faint quiver in his voice. 

 She pulled back to meet his eyes, uncaring of the tear tracks staining her cheeks. Carefully she moved her hands to cup his face between them, forcing his gaze to stay on hers. "If you need to talk, I'll listen. Or just cry. Or hold your hand. I'll do it, without any questions."

 "Sure."

 "I'm serious."

 "I know. You sound like you've been hanging out with Doc Roe too much." He teased, forcing back the pain in his voice. A slight squeeze of her hand let her know he appreciated her words. 

 She giggled, sliding out of his embrace to glance at Gene, who had moved to sit next to another redhead on one of the couches. "He does start to rub off on you, can't decide if he's a good influence or a bad one."

 Gene scowled at her, making her giggle more. 

 "Who's the dame? Easy taking female paratroopers now?" The other redhead asked, his Philly accent unmistakable. 

 "Nah, this is Anna Cooper, a nurse. She's gonna stay with ya fellas for a couple days." Gene said casually. 

 The redhead's eyebrows were furrowed as his gaze darted from Gene to Anna and back. "Why?"

 "I just missed Donnie here so much." She smiled up at the man, who just gave her an awkward smile, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

 "Uh huh. So, what's the real fucking reason?" The third man asked, twirling a cigarette between his fingers. 

 "Joe, nothing you need to worry about right now." Malarkey answered. 

 Anna wondered if Gene expected the whole platoon to know of her existence there and why or only Donnie and himself. That was probably something she should have asked before their arrival but her mind was too caught up in its tornado of fears. 

 "How do you two know each other?" The other redhead asked, now eyeing her like she was a rare specimen. 

 Roe sighed, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. "She was in Albourne with us medics when we were training before the jump into Normandy."

 "Donnie here also took me on a date." Anna blurted out, a smile on her lips. 

 "What?" The one Malarkey had called 'Joe' stared with his jaw dropped. "A'ight, now I gotta hear this." 

 Malarkey rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he looked down at her. "Not sure I'd call that a date, Anna."

 "Mmm...it's a date when you kiss the girl after, right?"

 For a beat there was shocked silence before the two on the couches started laughing, Roe just shook his head and muttered something to himself. 

 "Holy shit, Anna…" Malarkey rubbed a hand over his face. If there had been more light, his face most likely would have matched the color of his hair. "I thought we agreed never to mention it ever again?"

 "It wasn't that bad, Donnie."

 "Yes, it was. That damn shovel almost broke my nose. You had to walk me to the aid station instead of me walking you home."

 "I mean.... when you say it like that." Anna teased. 

 "Shit, I really need to hear this now." 

 "Babe, no." Malarkey pointed his finger at the other redhead then moved it to the other man. "Joe, not a word."

 The one, Joe, shrugged, a smirk on his face. "How come I don't remember this?"

 "Cause you was in London chasin' skirts and gettin' in fights that weekend." Gene stated evenly. "It's late, I need to head back to the aid station. Malarkey, where is Anna stayin'?"

 "Right. This way." Malarkey led the way with Anna and Gene following up a set of stairs and down the hallway to a bedroom. "Supposed to be for officers I guess but since we don't have any…. the door locks too."

 "Thank you, Donnie." She smiled up at the man, someone she had thought she would never see again. It was funny how fate had brought Easy Company back into her life. Moving further into the room, she was pleased to find a single bed pressed against the wall and a desk across from it. Otherwise the room was completely bare of any other furniture or decorations. 

 "Ya ok here, chérie?" Gene leaned against the desk, arms crossed over his chest. 

 "Yes."

 "Good, good. One question then." Gene paused, an intensity in his eyes that startled her. "What's ya relationship with that Sergeant?"

 In the middle of slipping the coat off, she froze, having not been expecting that question. Her mind raced with trying to find an adequate answer. Although it felt futile. How could she describe her relationship with Sergeant Don Collier? Not that there was a relationship, per se, even if memories of their last encounter sprung forth in her mind's eye. Even though they had not known each other long, he was someone she found herself trusting wholeheartedly and feeling safe around. The loyalty of his men inspired her. The brutality of war was evident in the way he carried himself, the shifting of his eyes and the perpetual frown on his face when he was thinking. Yet he still cared. He still went out of his way to take care of a nurse who meant nothing to him. How when he was close by, her heart beat a little faster and butterflies danced in her belly. On more than one occasion, as she laid down waiting for sleep to find her, she wondered what his kiss would feel like. 

 Finally, she settled with a glossed over version, hoping Gene would be satisfied with just that. "Um....we don't…. he’s just looking out for me. Him and his crew kind of took me in."

 "Mmm….and when I walked into him holdin' ya in his arms, lookin' ready to kiss ya?"

 "It's....it's not like that."

 Malarkey spoke up, leaning against the doorframe. "Who’s this Sergeant?"

 "In charge of the armored division." Gene answered, dark eyes staring at her as if to sift the secrets out of her words and wide eyes. 

 "Don's just looking out for me…. him and his crew, they've, well, they've protected me several times already from…. others." She finished lamely, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to push the memories away. 

 He must have sensed her discomfort. "Alright, chérie, just be careful."

 She nodded. She appreciated his concern but felt it was misplaced. 

 "Don, huh? Do you call him Donnie too?" Malarkey broke the following silence. 

 She rolled her eyes but smiled at the slight change of subject. "No, only you get that nickname."

 "Lucky me. So, is he a redhead too? You have a thing for the name Don?"

 She covered her face as her cheeks warmed. 

 "Ya two can discuss this tomorrow." Gene pushed off the desk. "I'll come get ya the day after tomorrow. If ya need anythin', send someone to get me."

 She dropped the coat at the end of the bed and moved to give him a quick hug. "Thank you, Cajun angel."

 He rolled his eyes while Malarkey snickered in the back but returned the embrace.

 Next, she walked over to Malarkey and gave him another quick hug. "Thank you too. For doing this for me."

 "I'm in the room across, if you need me. Bathroom is two doors down."

 The two paratroopers then left, closing the door behind them. Taking a deep breath, she surveyed around her as she stood there in the small room under the moonlight shining through the window. The future was always unknown but especially now, she felt tossed about on the waves of uncertainties. She hoped this plan was not completely foolhardy, but she would admit, she felt safer with Gene and Malarkey looking out for her while Don and Boyd were gone. She would never admit how she had cried while hiding away from everyone when she realized she was no longer alone, that she would not be sent with Captain Evans and his company. There were good men looking out for her. 

 She crawled into bed, slipping under the scratchy covers. All the while, her mind sent a fervent prayer that the crew of Fury would be safe. That they would return to her uninjured. That Don would be okay.

[scriptflorist]

What are some plants that will grow and flourish in my character's garden in Vancouver when planted in spring but would die quickly in winters? Why do I constantly find conflicting care info and I also how far outside parameters it takes for a flower to die rather than just in poor condition?

Sounds like you’re looking for plants your character can grow outside, for which a rule of thumb is that flowering plants don’t like the cold. I’d say none of them but that wouldn’t be fair to Christmas roses which do require a certain amount of cold to grow properly, this however still required proper rooting prior to the cold as well as specific parameters of cold. Usually I’d say use humans as an example, if it’s too cold for people to be outside without a jacket in winter it’s too cold for plants as well. However Canada is pretty cold, colder than Germany and I have no idea when Canadian’s start wearing jackets in winter, so to avoid misunderstandings let’s try to say this in clearer terms.

Below zero °C is too cold for 90% of plants. A good chunk of trees and shrubbery can usually withstand it, and conifers tend to keep her green exterior almost regardless of temperatures, but most other hardy plants are usually reduced to exposed bark, which protects from the cold and anything beneath the grown (protected by the surrounding soil) – anything soft and green and flowery is prone to die.

Tufted pansies are an odd exception which are pretty good at handling the occasional cold night during late winter/early spring and somehow don’t droop immediately. Christmas roses could too, however prolonged exposure to extreme freezing temperatures are guaranteed to kill any plant over long or short. So the good news is pretty much anything that isn’t hardy won’t make it into the next year, and what your character specifically is looking for might be annual plants which don’t live longer than a year to begin with.

Not that hardy plants can’t die in winter, but chances are if they were planted in spring they had a chance to take root properly and your character managed to bring them through several months before that without any bigger issues, so the culprit in this case really would only be the cult. That all being said, your character can plant almost anything they have the space and ability to care for them. The key points for care are generally pot size (think shoes, if the roots are sticking out the pot is too small), sunlight (how much is needed, full, half or as little as possible?), temperature (for most plants that starts at around 10-12°C with a tendency towards room temperature of around 20°C, if this cannot be given naturally then a greenhouse is fine, although this would defeat the purpose of having the plants die in winter).

Your character could also plant bulbs, like tulips and hyacinths, although these are exclusive to spring and don’t come back after that until next spring.

Alright so what does that mean for Vancouver?

Vancouver is pretty far south for Canada (right near the border) and it's also right on the Pacific coast. So it's very wet, and not as cold as the interior of Canada gets. Vancouver is listed as hardiness zone 8b mostly, so most plants would probably do decent there until a freeze if they were not winterized (dormant, covered, brought inside, etc) but maybe some zone 9a plants would be hit or miss. There's some pockets of zone 9a around Vancouver, so it could be one of those "why are their azaleas flourishing and mine keep dying?" sorts of things.

– Mod Jana

Disclaimer

This blog is intended as writing advice only. This blog and its mods are not responsible for accidents, injuries or other consequences of using this advice for real world situations or in any way that said advice was not intended.

[dearest-bucky]

On top of me (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: There was only one bed!!!! Is it summary enough?

Words: 1.9K

Warnings: my fave trope “bed sharing”, death by fluff!!!

A/n:  Two things I suck at: writing summaries but also titles. (Though I think I've gotten kind of better now lol)

Originally posted: June 13, 2020

She turned the knob of the door, opening it and entering the room first, Bucky following closely behind. She looked around the small space curiously as she slumped her duffel bag on the floor with a thump, eyes taking in what little furniture that occupied the place. A queen size bed in one corner of the room, only one nightstand on only one side of the bed. On the other corner a crappy looking couch and a small table by its side, with only one chair next to it.

The motel was the nearest they could get to with the biting cold of Germany in the middle of January and honestly after three long days raiding a supposedly empty Hydra base, neither of them had the strength to even complain about it.

Y/n was the first one to shrug the now sopping wet tactical suit off her shoulders, teeth clanking together, goosebumps covering her shivering skin. She moved quickly to get inside dry clothes and hurried to get to the bed, laying down under the covers and tucking herself in, the blankets reaching to her nose.

Bucky was looking at her until she got under the covers and only then he started to discard his wet gear too, changing into a pair of grey sweatpants and a hoodie. He looked around the place, eyeing the couch before moving towards the bed to pick up the other pillow and a blanket that was folded by the end of the bed.

Y/n picked her head up to look at him and furrowed her brows in confusion when he picked up the pillow from beside her head. "What are you doing Barnes?" She questioned him, confusion evident in her tone just as it was etched in her face.

"Going to sleep, apparently." His reply was short and the crease between Y/n's brows only deepened more.

"No you're not!" If Bucky wasn't bothered by her question before, now he was confused too, but that didn't last long because she spoke up again. "Come on Buck, this is one perfectly big enough bed for the both of us to sleep in and it's so cold. I'll probably freeze during the night without you here."

He thought for a second about her words before speaking. "Y/n, I can't sleep with you, you know I have nightmares and I don't want to hurt you and my metal arm it's just..."

At this point he was simply rambling, but Y/n stopped him before he could get too much carried away. "Nothing is gonna happen. Just get in and lay down." She moved up the covers on his side of the bed and patted the mattress once, urging him to comply. Reluctantly he did so, despite the too many worried thoughts running in his head.

He laid down on his back, eyes fixed to the ceiling and Y/n didn't miss a second before she shifted closer to him, practically clinging to his right side. Despite the temperature of the room being under zero degrees and the still cold sheets, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body, making him a living furnace and she could only sigh in relief as a wave of warmth hit her shivering body. But as she was beginning to relax more with each passing second, he was still as stiff as the moment he laid his head on the pillow next to her.

Now while their relationship had been strictly platonic, that hadn't stopped either of them to develop secret feelings for each other. Apart from being team mates, they've been close friends for more than a year, yet both were scared to take another step forward in their relationship. Y/n was scared Bucky wasn't ready for a romantic relationship while he was still healing from all the trauma Hydra had caused to him during the decades of his captivity and Bucky was scared he'd only hurt her if he got too close to her, not trusting Hydra, not trusting his own mind.

While thoughts were occupying their heads, their bodies had minds of their own. Slowly but surely Y/n shifted even closer to him if that was possible, resting her head in his shoulder, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, the cold tip of her nose tickling his skin. Bucky moved his arm under her body to wrap it around her shoulder and keep her there. Legs tangled together in a mess of limbs, trying to get as warm as possible. Y/n let out another contented sigh before she closed her eyes.

"Good night Buck." She mumbled into his skin and he couldn't help the slight upward curl of his lips at the feeling.

"Good night."

Y/n had fallen asleep soon after, warming up next to him and moving to turn her back to him now, changing her sleeping position ever so often. On the other side of the bed Bucky was still wide awake, too scared to even consider closing his eyes and falling asleep for fear of experiencing a nightmare or worse, hurting her in his sleep.

She was so warm and inviting next to him, almost luring him to surrender to the dreamland, her hair sprawled over the faint pink pillow case. Her back was facing him and he was almost tempted to wrap his arms around her and spoon her the entire night, but he decided against it. He was perfectly content to just lay down that close to her. He couldn't dare to touch her for fear of hurting her, despite him knowing that she wasn't that delicate.

He turned slightly to the side to look at the time on his phone, white numbers reading almost two am on the dark background. He sighed and turned on his back again, fixing his eyes on the white ceiling from which a light bulb was hanging, a small static flicker of light coming to life every five to ten seconds.

His eyes however got tired sooner than he expected and he couldn't fight the sleep anymore. With a silent sigh and even more silent movements he got up from the bed and picked up the pillow and the blanket that was still folded by the end of the bed, making a b-line for the couch. He placed the pillow by the armrest and laid down, throwing the blanket over his body and curling on his side in a fetal position, trying to fit in the too small for a super soldier couch.

It was by far one of the crappiest places he'd had to lay down in his entire life, but he figured anything would be better as long as Y/n was sleeping safe and sound. He couldn't trust himself yet when he was asleep and he knew better than to risk it all and her in the way just for a wish of his heart to cuddle her in the bed.

After some more adjusting he finally managed to fall asleep, too tired to even care about the state of the couch anymore.

Y/n woke up sometime during the night - she figured it was still night by the darkness in the room and outside the window - after turning in her sleep to cuddle next to Bucky again, but when she was met with an empty space she peeled one sleepy eye open. She moved to a sitting position, straining her eyes to look around the room for her partner. Before she could see him, she heard the sounds of a light snore come from the couch and she connected the dots quickly.

She huffed in annoyance; how dare he leave her alone in such a big, cold bed?

Waking up more and with a new determination in her head she rose up from the bed and with a few quick steps she walked to the spot Bucky was sleeping. He was deeply sleeping, light snores leaving his half opened mouth and Y/n couldn't help but stare at him through the darkness of the room. She couldn't help but have her heart melt at the sight, but she was still annoyed at him for fleeing the bed.

She picked up the blanket that was covering him and carefully slipped next to him in the small space between his body and the cushion of the couch, laying mostly on top of him, seeing how small the couch was. It was barely enough for one person, let alone two, but Y/n had made up her mind.

Covering both herself and Bucky with the blanket, she closed her eyes sighing into his neck. All the shuffling and the moving almost woke him up, but he was too deep in sleep and dreaming that his mind didn't even acknowledge what Y/n was doing as reality. But when her weight was on top of him and she snuggled more to him, he instinctively wrapped both his arms around her torso.

Slowly he stirred awake, almost startled to see that Y/n was really on top of him, that it hadn't been just one of his dreams. "Y/n, what are you doing here?" He asked, voice raspy from sleep.

She let out a small huff before picking up her head that was hidden in his chest and looked at his face. "You left me alone in the bed. What was I s'posed to do?" A small hint of sadness laced in her voice as she spoke.

He chuckled at her response, before speaking up again. "Go back to bed, this is not comfortable."

"I don't mind, I am comfortable enough on top of you." A smirk appeared on her lips, one that he didn't miss despite the dark room.

There was something in her eyes, a glint shining through the darkness that Bucky couldn't quite place and he couldn't help but ask again, this time for a different reason though. "What are you doing Y/n?"

She kept staring at him, eyes not leaving his face. She knew what he meant by that question. A million thoughts were running through her head, but she got rid of them all, deciding to throw all caution to the wind before leaning down and placing a small kiss on his lips. It didn't even last more than five short seconds, but it was enough for Bucky to take matters in his own hands, tightening his hold on her waist with his metal hand, while snaking the flash one behind her neck and bringing her lips down to his again, this time in a longer, deeper kiss.

His tongue traced along her bottom lip softly, before coaxing her to open up to him and grant him access to her mouth, which she gladly did. Lips and tongues moving expertly against each other, they kissed until the need to breathe became too much, being practically forced to part from each other, but neither moved too far as he kept her on top of him, his hands not allowing her to go far. The way they were looking at each other in the darkness, more meaningful and expressive than any spoken word.

She smiled sweetly at him, her kissed swollen lips curling upwards more and more with each passing second when she spoke. "Let's go back to bed, yeah?"

"Okay." He replied slowly. "But only if you keep laying on top of me."

[lo-55]

Here There Be Dragons Ch. 1

The people of Hanamura knew better than to step foot in the old castle. The foreign criminals did not. Neither did the man tracking them.

McHanzo AU

                 Notes:    

This is loosely based on the Jackie Chan Adventures episode ‘The Lotus Temple’ .  It’s also my first time writing for McCree and Hanzo, so please be gentle with me ^^

Scales and Tales                 

 The people of Hanamura knew better than to step foot in the old castle. They had been born to the whispers of curses, to the dark clouds the circled over it for all but one day in the year. Their children played games, dared each other to touch the gate, to look upon the stone dragon that wrapped itself around the gates and glared down with eyes that warned of a storm. None of them were foolish enough to cross over the wall. None of them were foolish enough to dismiss generations of promises to never enter.

 To forsake their lives just for a glimpse inside.

 None of them were international weapons smuggler sprinting through the city with a target on their back. None of them were strangers jaded to the world and it’s supposed curses.

 None of them could recognize something ancient and powerful for what it was. And so they scrambled over walls, throwing backpacks and bodies over into a pile of weapons and limbs.

 One boy dropped down, landing on his ankle wrong. It was visible even from the vantage point Jesse McCree had taken up residence in. He leaned on the tree trunk, watching the kid scramble to pick up a bag when the one in charge, a nasty piece of work that called himself Glitch.

 The Blackwatch operative narrowed his eyes. If they got into the castle proper and fortified it, he’d have to cave and call for some back up, or say fuck it and just destroy half of the building in a firefight. If he took them out now, he’d be making a mess of a courtyard, but it would be quicker and over faster.

 Too bad Reyes wanted him to bring in Glitch alive. Too bad some of them were kids.

     You were a kid too, in Deadlock,    he reminded himself. He hadn’t been doing kid stuff then and these kids weren’t doing kid stuff now. If they’d come all this way from Germany, they knew what they were getting themselves in. No one worked for Glitch for long without knowing what it was going  to cost them.

 Jesse idly wondered if they knew that Glitch’s real name was Iverson Bemesderfer.

 Probably not.  

 Jesse breathed in deeply, mourning that he couldn't smoke on the clock, and drew his piece. He was readying himself to jump from tree to wall when a sound invaded his ears. It was almost too low for him to notice, at first.

 His implants picked it up before he really did. Typically they dulled the blast from gunfire so it didn’t blow his eardrums out, but they also caught and amplified certain things. Things that might register as a threat.

 Things like the low roll of thunder that beat inside the castle walls. The sky was clear, the castle was empty, save the invaders.

 Jesse blinked.

 Something moved. A flash of lightning through the courtyard, an explosion of action that cut through the crooks, leaving blood and guts in its wake. Blue caught the light, thunder grew louder, echoing in tandem with screaming. A gun went off, then another, a flurry of bullets flying at the flash of light that tore through the crowd.

 To the side a grenade went off, tearing through five men and throwing the blue back into a wall hard enough to crack it.

 For just an instant the carnage stilled. Jesse knew moments like these, when the fight went from hot to cold, bodies frozen in motion where the only things he could hear was the pounding of his heart and the world zeroed in to the sight at the end of Peacekeeper.

 This was different.

 The sound he heard drowned out his heart, the beat of thunder on the horizon. Peacekeeper stayed down, at his hip. That didn’t stop the ice in his veins. That didn’t stop the way the world darkened until there was only black and white and red and for the first time in his life blue.

 Blue. Brilliant, glowing, blinding      blue    burst through the Deadeye he didn’t call upon, burning itself into his memory. Scales shimmered in his vision where they fell to the ground, blue warring with red. The serpentine body curled in against the wall, stone collapse frozen around it.

 One of the kids had turned a machine gun on the creature when it impacted.

 Jesse blinked and the world returned. Peacekeeper smoked faintly in his hand and six bodies hit the ground. A girl who had hefted another grenade, the boy with the machine gun and the four people closest to Glitch. For an instant his eyes locked with the creature’s.

 His heart beat once and the beast erupted once more, red and blue lashing across the ground, cutting through bodies. It felt familiar, the death, the massacre, watching his targets fall. Not at his hand, true, but he knew folks that favored the blade over gun smoke or bare fists. It felt like that.

 Glitch had sense enough to turn tail and run, for the wall. Jesse couldn’t bear to tear his eyes away from the scene but he forced himself, vaulting to the ground to intercept, jogging to where Glitch would end up over the side. The shadow of his head fell over Jesse’s shoulders and he stepped back so he could be ready to subdue him. The target managed to get almost all the way over the wall before he screamed.

 Jesse met him beneath the red shingled, catching the part of his body that came down. Most of him, at least. His legs had been sheared off.

 Jesse touched his comm and called for a medic, focusing on what he knew. He coudln’t think about what he’d seen, what he’d learned was real. He had to keep his mind on the job, or he didn’t think he could keep from trying to catch one last glimpse of the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.

 The Dragon inside Hanamura Castle.

~

 What Jesse saw never made it into his official report, the one that went into the files that Blackwatch sent to Morrison. Jesse had almost withheld it from even Reyes, but in the end he told him the full truth, if for no other reason than he couldn't think up another way to explain that he’d only shot six people and when extraction had been completed there was no sign of anyone having been inside of Hanamura Castle at all.

 Jesse had no idea why Reyes believed him. As long as he didn’t send him to Mercy for a head check it was just fine by him. .

 After Glitch he had stuck mostly to the America’s, north and south. Hunting down other rogue agents, taking down gangs one at a time. Usually he was partnered up with someone, Genji preferably, or even Reyes on a couple of memorable,      explosive    , occasions.

 The next time he went to Hanamura it was on his own terms.

 Jesse passed the castle three times the first day. He knew that going the same place on repeat was a messy mistake, it made it easy to track him. Easy to make a target out of him. Jesse just couldn't help it. He was drawn to the building and the being inside of it.

 He wanted to know more.

 He asked around, but his Japanese was terrible and the english explanations he got were mostly centered around staying the hell away.

 The second day he climbed the tree he had been in two years before to look inside. There was no sign of the carnage, no sign of dragon. Nothing at all.

 Jesse left with a stone in his guts.

 He hung around his hotel room for the next few days, checking out where he was going next and berating himself for not just hopping the fence and going in.

 He cleaned his six shooter about a dozen times, polished his boots, mended his serape and anything else he could do to keep his mind occupied and off the castle. He wanted to go in. He wanted to see the dragon again.

 He did not want to die.

 Every time he almost got up the courage to poke his head into the dragons den he remembered Glitch’s legs. A single snap of massive jaws and they were both gone. Jesse was already missing one arm, he wasn’t sure he wanted to lose any more parts.

 He was putting Peacekeeper back together after her fourth cleaning of the day when a knock sounded on the door.

 “Housekeeping!” was announced. In a voice that didn’t match the one that had come every day before. Jesse had time enough to grab his hat before the door came off its hinges and he was shoved out the window from the power of the explosion.

 He hit the ground running.

~

 Jesse McCree was not known for his brilliant ideas. Genji thought he was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag and had delusions of immortality. Reyes thought he was a punk with a penchant for ignoring common sense. Morrison… Jesse didn’t even want to know what he thought.

 Maybe Genji was right. Maybe, Jesse was just totally insane and had diluted himself into thinking he could make plans that wouldn’t end up in his death. Jesse had always been a few steps ahead of the reaper, kept there by the bodies he dropped behind him. He’d only ever been good for talking shit and shootin folks, which probably explained how he’d gotten this hair brained scheme in his head in the first place.

 His boots beat against the back alley, splashing though he-didn’t-want-to-know-what. Footsteps followed him second behind, just far enough that he didn’t have to start dodging bullets yet. Peacekeeper rested heavy in his fingers, hammer pulled back, waiting to be released.

 He bolted around a corner, his aim coming into sight. The rooftops rose high in the setting sun. Jesse took a deep breath and poured on more speed so when he threw himself at the wall it was the momentum carried him halfway up. His free hand caught the top, metal clanging audibly and he swung himself up, over the top. A gun raport broke through the sounds of the city around just before Jesse rolled over the roof and dropped to the ground below.

 He crushed some poor, unsuspecting bush under his weight before he pulled himself out of the clawing foliage. Blood ran down his arm from the new hole in his shoulder, slicking his grip on his piece. Heat burned through his shoulder and along his ribs.

 He touched his side with his metal hand, hissing. Damn. He hadn’t been counting on being hit.

 Voices crowded around the wall he’d just dropped over, accompanied by the clinking of metal and the clicks of weaponry.

 At least that was going according to plan.

 Jesse wiped his bloody palm on his pants before he went back to running, steadying his grip on the pistol. Behind him, pursuers had started to climb the wall.

 “Sorry about all this, darlin,” he told the castle. “ Ah, wasn’t expectin’ all this trouble.”

 Which was ridiculous. He should have. Trouble followed him in a shadow of misfortune.

 More bodies dropped down behind him. He picked up his heels and ran. The front gate was in sight when he turned the corner. Blood trailed behind him. For a long minute he wondered if he really had lost his marbles those years before. If he had imagined the blue dragon.

 Then the thunder beat through the earth. Someone screamed behind him. Jesse threw himself forwards, against the gate, managing to scramble up. From the high ground he turned his sight back, to the dragon that tore through the pursuers like they were nothing more than paper.  It was incredible, awe inspiring.

 Jesse lifted his hand, pulled back the hammer and shot. One by one his targets fell, crumpling to the ground. Never once did he strike the dragon that coiled through the intruders. Jesse had seen rattlesnakes slower than this.

 The last of his pursuers crumpled to the ground, a bullet in their head. Wind blew through his hair, tugging at his hat. The thunder beat harder in his heart.

 Jesse opened his mouth to say something, anything. All that came out was a shout when the gate beneath his feet cracked and fell, collapsing backwards, sending the cowboy down with it. The air rushed from his lungs, leaving him choking desperately.

 He barely got his breath back when something cast a long shadow over him. Jesse brought his shooting hand up on instinct, levelled in between two gold eyes. The dragon loomed over him, baring its teeth. Thunder rumbled around him, growled from between the dragons fangs.

 “Well, don’t that beat all,” Jesse breathed. He sat up, slowly, letting the weapon drop. He could shoot from the hip just fine. The man drew his legs away from the creature’s fierce claws. His heavy boot knocked some stone, sending it clattering off the door and into the street. Tight muscles tensed under thick hide and the dragon moved a threatening inch closer. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so pretty in his life.

 Pretty like a rattler with it’s scales shining in the sun. Pretty like the barrel of Peacekeeper after he’d just polished her. Pretty like Ana Amari.

 Pretty and perfectly capable of killing him.

 Up close he could see it’s eyes in the burning light, golden, flecked with brown. Surrounding that was pale scales, practically white, beneath a slim patch of fur that could have been spun from his mama’s wedding band. Whiskers of the same color flicked in front of him, floating in the air with a serenity that was sharply opposed by the massive, pointed teeth being shown to him. Under the drawn lips was a beard that chased backwards, edging jaw that could have taken Jesse in whole. It edged up along with sharp point, horns maybe, that crowned the dragon’s head till the point of a blade of fur that drew from the tip of the head to the end of a long, long tail.

 “Ain’t you somethin’?” Jesse slowly moved, so as not to startle the creature, pushing himself into a stand. The dragon made no move to stop him. “Thank ya’ kindly for the help,” he nodded to the bloody mess behind the dragon and took a respectful step back, his heart beating hard.

 It released a growl that shook him to the core, one that rolled through the scales that flashed beautifully. Jesse realized that where the scales faded from the near-white around the eyes and lips into a deep, ocean shade they were tipped with the same gold he could see in the dragon’s eyes.

 Jesse took another step away, watching the dragon the whole time. As soon as his boots were off the door it jerked, twisting, and disappeared. Doors that been broken repaired themselves and lifted back into place. It shut hard.

 Jesse was left with a bullet in his shoulder, a graze in his side, and a pair of shaking knees.

 Something caught in the light, the stone he’d kicked earlier. It sang blue in the dimming light. Jesse did a recount.

 He also had a scale.

[pcttrailsidereader]

The Scariest Encounters Women Have on the Trail are with Men

One of the more chilling episodes in Wild was when Cheryl Strayed encountered two hunters in Central Oregon, one of whom made her rightfully uncomfortable . . . “She’s got a really nice figure, don’t she?” the sandy-haired man said. “Healthy, with some soft curves. Just the kind I like.”  And it got worse.  In the end, she was able to extricate herself but not without considerable anxiety.

Natasha Carver in “Walking Down a Dream” from The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader: California shares a story of camping near a road.  A car stops late at night.  Natasha and her hiking partner feel very exposed and very vulnerable. Indeed, the scariest encounters women have on the trail are with men.

This article, taken from the Daily Beast, focuses on the AT . . . but, in general, the issues are . . . sadly . . . the same.

By Melanie Hamlett, the Daily Beast

As a 30-year-old nurse who works with terminally ill patients, Julia (who prefers to remain anonymous) asked herself one day what she would be proud of doing if she too were given a diagnosis of only six months to live. Shortly after, she left Pittsburgh to start hiking the 2,190-mile Appalachian Trail—a highly coveted peacock feather in the cap of outdoor adventurers. But this epic odyssey from Georgia to Maine proved to be far more challenging for Julia and over a dozen women interviewed for this piece because of one factor.

Their being female.

It’s no surprise women experience annoyances like casual or even outright sexism in the outdoor adventure world, but on the Appalachian Trail some are facing more traumatizing problems like stalking, sexual harassment, and even assault. Last May, the unthinkable happened—a brutal murder.

People had been warning local officials for six weeks about James Jordan, a violent “fight angel” who is currently being tried for murder in Virginia. In April numerous hikers reported disturbing behavior, including being verbally assaulted by Jordan and even threatened with a machete. He was later arrested on multiple charges, including possession of weed, and was ordered to stay off the trail. In May he returned anyway and allegedly threatened to pour gasoline on four campers and burn them alive in their tents.

He later chased two of them down the trail before finally giving up. When he returned, he allegedly stabbed Richard S. Sanchez Jr. to death, then chased Sanchez’s female hiking partner down the trail and stabbed her. She only survived because she played dead, then ran down the trail for help once he left. Jordan was found and taken into custody early the next morning. This tragedy became a traumatizing reminder that even in a majestic wilderness sanctuary like the Appalachian Trail, America is a violent, scary country, especially for women.

As a frequent solo traveler and former professional wilderness guide, I’m a huge advocate of women exploring the world, especially alone. It’s empowering as hell. I’ve never let fear (or too many episodes of Law and Order SVU) deter me from solo adventures. The point of telling the following stories isn’t to scare anyone off the trail but rather to educate women on how to protect themselves and to ask should-be male allies to stop turning a blind eye. Until the outdoor industry, which prides itself on being quite woke-ish, is ready for its own #MeToo reckoning, women won’t feel safe.

“Women have no way of knowing who will be the next James Jordan versus who’s just an awkward dude or entitled asshole.”

The Appalachian Trail is a microcosm of American culture but with far higher stakes. Statistically, women are way safer on the trail than on college campuses or in even their own homes. There’s only one rape reported (....reported) every few years on the trail and the chance of getting murdered there is 1,000 times less than in America as a whole. And yet, the absence of deadbolts to lock oneself behind or of multiple witnesses around to deter violent men from attacking us means the occasional trail creeper can be a million times scarier and more dangerous. The only thing protecting a woman alone in a tent from that sketchy stranger she previously encountered on the trail or the seemingly cool one she’s been hiking with for weeks is a thin piece of nylon. “I physically ran into a bear,” says Julia, “and I’d take that over running into a crazy drunk dude any day.”

Despite having overwhelmingly great experiences with trail men, all of the women I spoke with encountered men, especially older white ones, who either made sexist, condescending comments or made them feel unsafe. “I even got ‘smile more,’” Julia says. “It’s exhausting.”

Surprisingly, even woke-ish/feminist-type men creeped many of these women out. Julia said one of her first hiking partners, who seemed progressive, asked to rub her legs. Later, another one repeatedly hit on her and made her feel unsafe. The other guys in her group eventually sided with her and ditched him, but only after she showed enough evidence, like his unnerving texts. The men just didn’t see it, she says. “I’m thinking, how the fuck do you not see this guy is a creep?” Later, while hiking alone, a random guy aggressively probed her about where she was going and who she was with, then found her 200 miles down the trail and threatened to come into the women’s tents while they slept.

Hilary York, a 30-year-old piano technician from Denver, felt a bit gaslit by should-be allies. There were only three men who made her really uncomfortable during her 2,190 mile trek, two of them sketchy enough to scare even the men away. But the third was “your standard hippie type” who undressed her with his eyes and was clearly looking to hook up. When she told her guy friends he made her uncomfortable, they thought she was being dramatic and overly sensitive. Her female friends, on the contrary, unanimously agreed he was creepy. “I think the most frustrating thing is having your intuition downplayed,” says York. Which is why she turned to Facebook.

Most people go into the woods hoping to escape the traps of modern life, especially social media, yet women on the trail don’t always have that luxury. York says an Appalachian Trail group for women on Facebook has become a priceless space that helps women feel as comfortable, safe, and empowered as possible. The moderators are careful not to allow any man-bashing or vague accusations.

As a woman who’s worked almost exclusively in male-dominated industries, namely the outdoors, comedy, and film, I too have relied on whisper networks to feel safe, which is what this women’s FB group does. York says this group was quite critical in getting important information out about James Jordan when rangers couldn't. Oddly enough, the FBI is in charge of crimes committed on the AT because it’s administered by the National Park Service. Some hikershave criticized the FBI for failing to warn or protect everyone from a man they knew was dangerous.

There are a lot of men out there scaring the shit out of women in other ways, which is why we need men to be more thoughtful, pay attention, and be better allies. The stakes are too high in the woods. Women have no way of knowing who will be the next James Jordan versus who’s just an awkward dude or entitled asshole and relatively harmless. Women have to assume the worst.

Since York hiked with a man and has a solid poker face, she felt lucky compared to the “kinder-faced, solo female hikes.” Kristin Forster, a 28-year-old pastry chef living in Hamburg, Germany, had previous experiences with a stalker on the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail), so she knew how to handle sketchy dudes—be nice and calm but don’t answer their questions. But stranger danger wasn’t her problem in the end.

“Other hikers along the way also promised to back Cowan up and help her. But when it came to actually doing anything, none stepped up.”

For eight weeks Forster hiked with a trail partner who seemed chill and supportive. Being on the trail, she says, means you get closer to people faster, especially during extreme weather situations. Like me and my coworkers when I guided on the trail, Forster and her hiking partner would have to snuggle to warm up on brutally cold, rainy days. During one of these times, she felt his dick in her back. “That’s when it got weird.” She doesn’t blame him for getting a boner at all. But when she casually reminded him that she had a boyfriend back home, he flipped a switch and started mocking her and being super mean. She eventually left him because he made the trail so intolerable for her.

Beth, a 39-year-old consultant who’d rather remain anonymous to protect her safety, hiked with a seemingly cool guy for 10 days before he started to attach himself to her “like glue,” hovering over her constantly, even when she needed alone time. She tried to hike ahead several times, but he’d always catch up. After Beth reminded him she was in a committed relationship with a guy back home, he started making comments on her appearance and how attractive she was.

One day he walked up on her changing clothes in one of the shelters, despite her warning him, saw her full frontal naked, then got defensive that she was upset. “I was completely humiliated yet I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal,” she says. She eventually decided to ditch him for good. Afraid of his reaction to feeling rejected, Beth waited until they were at a hostel in town with the safety of people around to break the news. “His face literally blackened.”

She felt safe once the trail logs were showing him 2-3 days ahead of her. Then she ran into him. He admitted he’d seen her name registered at a hostel and had taken a “zero” day (zero miles) to wait for her. Panicked, she ran after another guy hiking by, told him she was being stalked, and asked if he’d let her hike with him for a bit. Her stalker passed them shortly thereafter and was never seen again. Beth and her new hiking partner, who became a dear friend, hiked all the way to Maine together.

“As women we are programmed to be nice and polite,” she says, “and I actually found it harder to advocate for myself because I had gotten to know this guy.” Other men have since tried to attach themselves to her on long-distance hikes, but she’s learned how to protect herself sooner. “A lot of men on the trail are desperately lonely and will prey on women who come across as sweet and compliant,” she says. Especially if you don’t set firm boundaries out of the gate.

Jessica Cowan, a 38-year-old freelancer from Ohio, set out on the AT alone, assuming she’d find a “tramily” (trail family) like everyone talks about. But she never quite fell in with a group hiking her pace. When she met her stalker, who we’ll call Doc, he seemed charming, generous, and cool. Although she made it clear she had a boyfriend and wasn’t looking for a trail fling or a relationship change, he eventually started to express interest and asked about her relationship. “I found his behaviors really, really creepy, but when I talk about it, nothing I say sounds incredibly creepy,” she says. “I don’t know if it's an overreaction on my part… or if I’m gaslighting myself.” She was even hesitant to use the word stalking when telling this horrific story.

When crashing in shelters, he’d try to scoot his mat next to hers to sleep, wouldn’t avert his eyes when she announced she was changing, and even got caught staring at her when she was using a privy one day. After seeing Doc go on some hostile rants over the smallest things, she knew he was truly unstable. It was another woman briefly hiking with them, a psychologist, who helped her realize he was obsessed with her and that she needed to get a lot of miles ahead of him.

After that, Cowan tried everything to keep distance from Doc. She “slack-packed” (paying someone to drive her gear up the road), pushed her body to the limit, day after day, and even bought a new tent with wildly different colors to camouflage herself. Whenever she thought she was far enough ahead of him, another hiker would say he was nearby. Doc eventually caught up to her at a hostel after paying someone to drive him up the road.

Cowan finally filed a police report so they’d at least have him on their radar. Hostel workers promised her not to welcome him, but in the end, only one kept his word. The rest gave him the benefit of the doubt. Cowan thinks it was just easier to take his money. Other hikers along the way also promised to back Cowan up and help her. But when it came to actually doing anything, none stepped up. Despite her having mostly pleasant encounters with men on the trail, their blind-eye approach was disappointing. “I think a lot of men are guilty of taking that path of least resistance.”

Cowan did keep her boyfriend, Cowboy Knueve, apprised of the situation the whole time. “You have no idea how much sleep I lost,” he says. “I was sitting home worrying about her and this asshat.” Right after Cowboy dropped her off at the beginning of her hike, James Jordan murdered one hiker and wounded another on the trail in Virginia. “I knew how important this whole thing was for her,” he says. “It just pissed me off that he ruined her trip.” Even though Cowan told him she had it handled, Knueve finally drove 700 miles to make sure.

Knueve stayed with Cowan at night and ran shuttles for fellow hikers during the day while she hiked. He says he met at least a half a dozen women who’d done a lot of night hiking and “busted their ass” to get away from this same guy. Cowan and Kneuve tried to warn everyone about Doc.

One day they actually saw him at a campsite, so Knueve decided to confront him. Having googled the guy, he knew he was a multiple felon and had been charged for unlawful imprisonment of a woman. “I wanted to spray the man and kick him until he’s tired…. but I didn’t want to go to jail.” Instead he told Doc he knew he was stalking women and harshly warned him to stay away.

“If anyone fucks with me on the trail this year, I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face and carry the fuck on.”

Before leaving to go home, Kneuve drove Cowan 200 miles up the road to give her a safe distance from Doc. Shortly after, though, they picked up another hitchhiker and she was running away from Doc. That’s when Cowan realized this just wasn’t fun anymore. “I should only have to worry about where I’m getting water and where I’m gonna sleep,” she says. “Not if he’s gonna turn up.” She made it a few hundred miles farther, but finally gave up. Instead of enjoying any hard-earned sense of accomplishment or pride for hiking one thousand miles, Cowan couldn't feel excited about her milestones. It all seemed pointless. “I felt like I was running for my life every day.”

“I encountered a lot of promises of support that didn’t really hold up. Except for my boyfriend, I didn’t see anyone else confronting him or calling him on his bullshit. I think they all just wanted to stay away,” she says. “Especially after the murder.” She’s still amazed that one man could affect hundreds of miles of hiking for so many people. More than anything, Cowan hopes this story will lead to men stepping up. Or at the very least, believing women.

Having solo hiked the Appalachian Trail before, Missy Barger went into her 2019 hike already prepared to play by different rules than men have to. “We have to be hyper aware, but also not jump to any conclusions,” says the 49-year-old photographer from Boston. She watches men closely but plays it cool, never giving them hugs or smiling too much. “And men?” she laughs “Well, they... just get to hike!” Being older, more experienced on the AT and more confident than a lot of her twentysomething female peers, she knows she’s regarded as “one tough motherfucker.” That usually “keeps guys off” her. And yet, despite all this, even Barger ended up with a stalker.

She’d been camping right down the road when the murder happened, so she was even more careful this year. “An odd person doesn’t strike me as different. We’re all odd… cuz we’re out here,” Barger says. But when a guy, who we’ll call Bear, started going on aggressive political rants and undressing in front of her, she knew it was time to bounce. The next day he popped up on her path and wouldn’t let her through. When he appeared a third time and started to verbally assault her, she and her “tramily” hiked four hours in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to get away. They later reported him to the Appalachian Trail Conservancy (ATC).

In the end, Barger had to skip the whole state of New Jersey and half of New York to get away from Bear, but she went back and completed that section later. This detour and return trip cost her nearly $600. Whether it’s the actual price of shuttles, extra nights in hostels, a new tent to camouflage yourself or the emotional burden of fearing for your life, the “female tax” is a hefty one, even in the woods.

Luckily, Barger found great male allies, like Eric Bellavance. This 51-year-old heavy equipment mechanic from Boston and trail vet waited to pursue a romantic relationship with Barger until after they completed the trail. One way he believes men can be supportive of women is to use more self-restraint than they might back home. “You want to be extra aware of being creepy. It’s that simple,” he says. “If they’re whipping off their clothes, just turn away and start doing stuff,” he says. Give them their privacy and space when they need it, keep your distance, and don’t touch them, he says. While Bellavance thinks most thru-hikers, by a certain point, become acclimated on how to interact with women and not freak them out, there are still those who do whatever they want because “it’s kinda lawless” on the trail. “They’re out here because society won’t tolerate their behavior back home,” he says. “We’re all out here because we don’t fit in society.” But this lack of social codes and rules is exactly why women need men to be more careful and step up.

Bellavance says some day-hikers and locals will hang out on the trail and wait for solo women to pass by, just to prey on them. Warning others or reporting them to authorities is one thing men can do. Sometimes he says hikers have to take trail justice into their own hands, though. Last year a section-hiker touched a woman in her sleep at one of the backpacker hostels, so Bellavance and his friend tracked him down and threatened to kick his ass if he did it again. When another male hiker exposed himself to a woman on the trail, Bellavance welcomed her to hike with them.

“We are asking men in the outdoor industry to listen, believe us, step up, and use your privilege to call out other men.”

“I look at it this way—it’s already hard enough, women don’t need any shit from men.” Bellavance lets spooked women latch onto him when they need to since women are way less likely to be approached by a guy when they’re already with one. He never asks women for their phone numbers, real names (most go by a trail name), or social media handles because he knows men are harassing and stalking women online too. When Barger hikes solo, a lot of men ask to be snapchat friends. “Fuck, I just want to hike,” she says. “I have to have extra guardrails up when I post on social media.”

In general, Barger has run out of patience for men’s bullshit. “If anyone fucks with me on the trail this year, I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face and carry the fuck on.” She refuses to be scared off by men and encourages other women not to be either. To help protect current and future female hikers, Barger is very active on FB groups.

Unfortunately, those groups aren’t always safe either.

Shilletha Curtis, a writer from Newark, New Jersey, plans to hike the entire Appalachian in 2021. As a Black woman and a lesbian, though, she’s not sure who will have her back out there, as she’s already faced harassment on her trail day hikes. In a co-ed AT Facebook group, white men have already been harassing her about her recent publication, some posting “Hikers Lives Matter.” The male FB administrators have accused her of race baiting when she talks about racism on the trail. “We need to make these groups a safe space for everyone, not just white members, as Black people do hike.” Latrina Graham’s powerful essay about being a Black woman just trying to hike goes even deeper into this huge problem.

Until white hikers, particularly white men, do more to make the trail safer for everyone, what do the rest of us do? Not hiking isn’t an option, nor should it be. Most women I spoke with agreed that the best way to stay safe is to trust your intuition and to avoid gaslighting yourself or being too “nice.” Always sign guest books as two people or use a male/ambiguous name, invent a “dude backstory” about a “friend” that’s nearby, and never post photos at recognizable spots on social media. Obviously it’s #notallATmen making women’s lives hard... but it only takes one.

We are asking men in the outdoor industry to listen, believe us, step up, and use your privilege to call out other men. That’s what will help us feel safe. We are tired. We need your help.

Because we belong here, too.

[fuyumiworld]

The EℓyXiOn : Chapter 2 : Snow Blaze

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Snow brings a special quality with it,the

power to stop life as you know it dead in its

tracks

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

BERLIN. 05:07

Fuyumi had a total of 365 days to try to forget the exact shade of red that was Kris’s blood, Tao’s blood, even Althea’s blood when the assassins dug out the Tree’s essence from the slight women’s heart, but when the bartender pours her a complimentary glass of red wine after Fuyumi stumbles through the door with bloodshot eyes, it’s like a day hasn’t passed since she saw three of her closest friends, some of her only friends, die, and she could do nothing to stop it.

“Don’t want it,” she says lowly, pushing the glass back. If this wasn’t her normal bartender, Fuyumi might have thrown the glass to the ground. It’s for the better she doesn’t. Then, it really would look no different from the bloodbath that had occurred a year ago.

“You look rough,” says the bartender, his voice fuzzy with exhaustion. It’s too late—or just too early—for anyone to sensibly be here, but the bar is open twenty-four hours, closed only on Tuesdays, and with the crowd around Berlin, it’s never empty.

Fuyumi makes up only a handful of guests remaining, and she is by far the soberest. “It’s a rough day,” she admits, and before the bartender can start doing that magical thing of his that tempts Fuyumi to spill every single one of her secrets, confess every one of her sins, she gets off the barstool. “I think I’m just going to turn in. Let you have an easy one until dawn.”

“Take a shot for the road! It’s fucking freezing out there.”

“It’s fine, I got this.” Fuyumi pops on a fuzzy hunter’s hat, which protects her head, exposed now more than ever thanks to the short layered haircut she got in order fit in better with the Berliners. “And I have that bottle of whisky you recommended back at my place.”

The bartender grins. “That’s my girl.”

“Gute Nacht,” Fuyumi chimes as she steps out the bar and into the dark.

It’s louder outside than in the bar. Berlin loathes sleep. A light always burns, a building always churns out the thud of music, voices caught in the distance, carrying on a wind. For how sprawled out the city is, a beat carries across its veins, keeping the whole place alive.

Fuyumi has spent nights like these joining the nocturnal crowd. She wanders block by block, walking long distances that could be felt in her joints the next day. Every time she runs into someone on these predawn explorations, she wonders if it’s them.

Almost four million people in one city, and not once has Fuyumi ever seen a glimpse of one of the Guardians. She has scrutinized faces, trying to draw details onto them that aren’t there. A map of facial moles; a jaw sculpted finer than a statue’s; lips as downy as the pillows she hoards on her bed.

Today, the thought of EXO becomes more painful than ever. She can’t bare another walk spent on hoping, longing for a family She once took for granted.

She goes home to a shabby upstairs apartment, swinging the key around her finger on the five-minute walk over from the bar. It’s freezing outside, but lucky for Fuyumi, she has always liked the cold.

Not that she can do much with it anymore. Once, with the furrow of her brow, or the quirk of her lips, Fuyumi would be able to cast a layer of frost across every surface in sight, but ever since she was ripped away from her friends,since their last mission, she can barely drop the temperature around her to sub-zero with a heavy sigh.

At least she can still chill her whisky glass with touch alone. As soon as she’s back in her apartment, She grabs the first clean glass in her cabinet and carries it while rummaging for the whisky bottle she always places just a toe out of reach, so she’d be less tempted to knock an extra glass back at the end of the night. By the time she brings it down from the shelf, frost lattices the glass, a filigree of stark white outmatching the carven designs.

She pours two fingers worth of liquid fire and plops down onto the couch. The TV setup that came with the apartment is powered off. Usually she finds no need for its programs, but she wants them tonight. Left to her thoughts, and she’ll be seeing red all over again.

She turns on the TV and looks for a soccer match to watch. It’s a sport she has come to enjoy while stuck on this planet.

A channel broadcasts the German women’s national team’s friendly match with Nigeria from earlier in the week. She has already heard the score and a highlight reel from chatter around her, which it makes it all that more comforting to watch.

she tries to relax into her seat and simply watch as the ball darts across the field.

It has only been a minute of playtime, when she looks over the scoreboard broadcasted on the corner of her screen. Germany vs Nigeria.

Nigeria…

Could one of the Guardians be there?

She throws her head back and groans. It turns out soccer isn’t safe for her mind either. Matches between different countries always makes her question whether she is in the right place. What if Junmyeon has made a home in Argentina? What if Baekhyun is part of the South African crowd, cheering obnoxiously louder than the rest?

And if that isn’t the question on her mind���thewhere—then the other is: is she trying hard enough to find her family?

Watching the players sweat and fight and hit the grass hard enough to bruise reminds of every single battle Fuyumi has waged and defended. Every sweat-soaked, blood-drenched, frost-ridden fight he has carried out as a member of EXO. Back to back with Bronte, dealing out punches as Noa holds back her enemy, using Junmyeon’s conjured water as supply to feed her own war path of ice and fury.

All of it is scar tissue now, but she picks at it every so often, indulging in the pain of memories. She’d reopen any wound if it meant being back with EXO.

Then why has she stayed here this whole time? Since appearing in Germany’s largest city, she has never made any attempt to step beyond the country’s borders. she has searched Berlin’s streets, its bars, its museums and railways for EXO, but has stretched no further.

Around 7.7 billion people in this world, gathered together in countries and provinces and villages. How is she to know where eight people fit into that jigsaw of civilization?

she brings her head back down to watch the game.

The match has been erased from the TV screen. All color has leeched out from the picture, and so have shapes and solid sound. Though the remote rests out of her grasp, the channel has seemed to change over to something strange—something she has never seen broadcasted before.

The screen is made up of numbers, words, flickering pixels of black and white, pumping like a heartbeat. The newfound light strobes across the darkened room. Fuyumi’s face is painted in streaks of white one moment, before falling into true darkness the next.

Then, all at once, the screen freezes. While it has gone still, the room hums with new life, an energy that raises the hair along Fuyumi’s arms.

Through petrified streaks of black and white cutting through the screen, barely seeable through static, is a series of numbers.

She rips a page out of a nearby book and searches for a pen. By the time she finds one beneath the coffee table, she’s afraid to look back at the screen, in case the haphazard numbers have vanished.

They’re still there, and she drops to her knees right in front of the screen in order to make them out as clearly as possible. she copies them down onto the ripped page, digging the pen’s tip so it threatens to split the paper.

Once she is certain she has them written correctly, copied over in bold so they overpower the printed words of the damaged book, she lowers the pen and paper.

She stretches her hand towards the screen to see if it will move under her touch. The closer she gets, the louder the hum grows around her. Louder, louder, LOUD—

Electricity lances up her arm, so jarring she yelps and tumbles onto her backside. The power is snuffed out from the TV, and the screen goes dark, taking all light with it.

Seated in the dark, shaking from the bolt of electricity that ran up and down her body, using her spinal cord like a conduit, an incredulous laugh leaves her chest. “Bronte,” She murmurs. “It’s you.”

It has to be. Who else has such a striking power? Who else has a knack for the impossible?

Fuyumi has no idea how Bronte found her. She has no idea where the thunder Guardian is leading her, but she will follow. She would follow her blind, would follow her numb.

And though Fuyumi has gotten used to the cold, once loved it like another brother even, this burst of heat coursing through her body is something she treasures more.

[mangosdoodles-moved]

You Can Be King Again - Second Chance, First Miracle

Summary: The end of Paint It White, but it’s actually not shit, and is also emotional algjskGJLSKGJKGLSJSGL--

Word count: Approx. 1340

A/N: Here’s my final part of the Paint It White AU art-trade w/ my buddy @littlestlostsheep​!! This was so much fun to write aaaAAAAAA I HOPE YOU LIKE IT QwQ

Click these links to see the rest of our parts: 1, 2, 3, 4

Just like that, it was all over. 

There was nothing left to do, only to stand still and watch as the world's surroundings turned completely white. However, it wasn't because it was too late. The sudden shimmers of light weren't as cold and sharp as the Pictos' piercing beams – if anything, it was so much warmer and softer, resembling the sun that once glowed in the earth's, now covered, grey atmosphere. Within a blink of an eye, the light disappeared, and not long after, the Pictos' stiff bodies followed. One by one, they all vanished into dust, not making a single sound as their mere existence was wiped out right infront of them. The buildings that towered the tide collapsed along with the army's fall, crashing into the ocean before they were no longer to be seen – only tiny particles of ash remained in their tracks. This sudden victory was never intended to happen, but the weakest link of the war managed to perform the impossible; 

They had won.

The beach that was earlier filled with utter chaos and roars of terror, was now empty and accompanied by deafening silence, confirming the miracle that had just dawned upon humanity. However, spread throughout the sand, lied seven remains of the Pictos'; The same seven who fell in the name of saving earth; The same seven who did everything they could to stop the enemy, even if it meant their immortal lives would somehow get ripped away in the process. They all remained as a horrible reminder for the poor survivors, not moving an inch as their alienated forms refused to melt away. 

It was a terrible sight. 

Eventually, to everyone's relief, the aliens' absence started to affect them, and slowly but surely the countries' true silhouettes became visible again – as if their unfortunate end never happend in the first place.

England didn't find the strength to open his eyes at first, before he could faintly hear a few voices; He could barely register the mix of shouts of joy and cries of relief surrounding him. Despite being nighttime, all he could see was a bright light, that turned out to be the returning appearance of the moon. Next thing he knew, he saw the flickering light spread throughout the stars as he regained his proper vision. It hadn't quite dawned upon him on what had just happend, but once it hit him, it hit him so hard he thought his heart was going to explode. 

The echo in his mind matched the overjoyed cries of his revived comrades;

Alive. I'm alive. I'm still alive.

Like a burst of energy had struck his soul, England almost jumped up to witness the unbelievable sight. Rivals had turned into friends, desperately hugging eachother as they share eachother's tears. His brother, and the man he despised more than anything, noticed him and almost knocked him back onto the ground, they both hugged him so tight. Even in the corner of his eyes, he could see that the almost-sole survivor himself, Germany, had woken up. Judging by the way their gazes met -- his light-blue eyes just as widened as his own green -- both of them hadn't managed to let the borderline dreamlike reality sink in. 

But before he had the chance to mentally congratulate his colleague as he watched Margaret run over to him, England's gaze moved over to search for his own love – only for his blood to run cold as he saw her lying on the sand, her face uncomfortably pale and lifeless.

«Koda..!»

Without a single thought, he pushed his allies out of the hug, and almost jumped up to his feet so he could run over to her. Panic ran through his veins as he carefully held her, only for the tension to leave his shoulders as he checked her pulse.

Alive. She's alive. She's still alive.

And before he could utter out a single word, he watched as the love of his life slowly flickered her eyes open, only for them to widen the moment they finally reunited with his. 

«..Eng..land..?» 

And that was all it took.

His chest started to tighten, and his vision was covered with tears as realization crashed onto him. 

«Koda..!» he cried, unable to hold back his breaking heart as he pulled her into a passionate embrace. He whimpered out her name over and over again like a broken record, his grip around her only tightened more and more. His tears had no plans on stopping, either. It only worsened when he heard her broken sobs of joy close to his ear. Just when he thought he would never see her again, fate had been kind to them once again by giving him a second chance to live. How this was possible, he didn't know, nor did he care. The only thing that mattered was the fact they were together again. 

And he had no plans on leaving her behind ever again.

They both sat still for minutes on end, mumbling sweet nothings to eachother as they cried into eachother's arms. However, the longer time they spent in that moment, the longer time England got to reflect on what he believed to be his final moments – the more he realized how truly valuable every second was. 

Gently, he pulled away, taking a moment to look at her in faint awe; Still beautiful as always, despite the heartbreaking sobs and tears. He wiped some of it off of her cheeks, softly rubbing his thumbs against them in comfort. Even though he knew those were happy tears, it was always painful to see her cry – especially if it was because of him. 

With a shaky huff, he pulled himself together so he would be able to speak. «..A-Alright.» he started, frowning at the still obvious vulnerablity in his voice. 

«..M-My love, before anything else happens.. th-that could possibly try to kill us all again..!» He could hear her faintly giggle. As much as he wanted to continue, he couldn't help but double-check that the coast truly was clear, as he frantically looked around a bit. Once that insecurity of his was out of the way, he shakily took her hand, leaving several kisses on the back of it before he looked at her in the eye – his face sharpened in desperation.

«W-Will you marry me?»

Silence.

Neither of them realized how important and significant his sudden question was until the heavy silence fell upon them. What was he thinking? He almost had no idea, himself, his mind was spinning so rapidly. He almost felt dizzy just trying to figure out his own way of thinking. Did he regret saying it? No, not at all! But he knew how incredibly reckless he sounded – how could a true gentleman like himself do such a thing? He doesn't even have a ring! Seeing how Koda stared at him in complete shock almost made him consider to blurt out a poor excuse just to cover up his impromptu proposal. 

But before he could even get a full grip of himself, and what on earth he could possibly say to her, she nodded.

«O-Okay.»

For a moment, England thought he was dreaming. Whether it was his pounding heart, or the new tears in his eyes that caused the lightheadedness, he was convinced that this happy ending was nothing but a simple fairytale inside his mind. But hearing Koda suddenly squeal out of pure joy as she jumped into his arms again, finally convinced him otherwise – and the tears kept flowing. 

With exactly zero shame, he covered her face – which was also full of running tears -- with gentle kisses, letting out relieved sobs inbetween them. He swore he could hear his brother whistle in the background, but he didn't bother to stop his teasing. The only thing on his mind, was who was right infront of him, and three words repeating over and over again:

I love you.

[fantasticescapism]

Rely on Family

Summary:  A talk at a building's rooftop could be a start for Peter Parker's healing.

Part 1 of the Never Truly Gone series

Also available at AO3.

Peter Parker swung as fast as he could towards the source of the bright light. Despite the feeling of bad omen in his heart, he pushed it away in favor of hope. Even if it was slim, he would hang on that small sliver of hope. He had to.

From a distance, he saw Mr. Rhodes kneel beside the battered Iron Man suit on the ground. With a jolt of realization, there was no movement from Mr. Stark. Peter swung as fast as he could towards him. His hands felt cold and his breathing was labored. No matter how hard he prayed, he couldn’t tamp down the full blown fear in his heart.

He’s okay… He’s Iron Man… He’s got to be okay. Please be okay… Please be okay… Please… He felt the prickling of tears in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He wouldn’t let hope fizzle out. An endless litany of “he’s okay” kept his desperation at bay and yet...

When he got there, he saw a scene from one of his nightmares come to life. Mr. Stark’s right side was burnt. He was so pale that… No!

“Mr. Stark? Hey...” He knelt in front of his mentor and father-figure. “Mr. Stark, can you hear me? It’s Peter.” The small flame of hope in his heart started to fade. “We won. Mr. Stark… We won, Mr. Stark. We won and you did it, sir. You did it.” He could feel someone hold his shoulder to gently pull him away. “I’m sorry… Tony.” At that moment, he only felt regret; regret for not being fast enough, for not being strong enough. It was too late…

With hope gone from his heart, he cried and stood as Mr. Rhodes tried to comfort him. He could barely hear Ms. Potts because he could hear Tony’s heart slow down until...

---

Peter woke with a start; he whimpered, out of breath and with elevated heart rate as if he ran a marathon. He took huge gulps of breath as he tried to dissipate the haze in his mind. Weeks of terrible nightmares made Peter realize how silly movies and books portray the sudden awakening from a nightmare. In reality, there were no screams or any sudden move to sit up from the bed. Instead, there were only whimpers, silent tears, a sudden drop to wakefulness and disorientation.

He looked around and re-oriented himself to his surroundings. The gray walls were mostly blank and there were boxes still on the floor. A desk was on his right near his head and drawers on the foot of his bed. He was in his room in the new apartment he moved in along with his aunt. They had to move to another apartment when they returned from the snap. Pepper found out about it and offered to let them stay in one of her apartments in Midtown but May politely declined. Pepper and Morgan… He wondered how they’re doing.

He shook his head as if to shake the remnants of his nightmare out of his mind and the emotions that came with it. He silently groaned as he angrily wiped away his tears.

With Iron Man gone, he took it upon himself to widen his patrol area. Aside from Queens, he also encompassed Manhattan. He’s exhausted so a break was in order. Good thing there’s that school trip to Europe. Maybe he could get a breather there; a bit more time to be just a kid with kid problems with no weight of the world on his shoulders.

He took his phone from his desk to check the time. It was one in the morning and there were no new messages. He thought to go back to sleep but the idea of reliving that nightmare twice in one night was not appealing. I guess I can go on patrol for an hour or two.

He stood from his bed and walked towards his closet to pull his suit out but as he reached towards it, he paused. It had gotten harder and harder to put on the suit. For the first few weeks since the battle, he suited up to distract himself. He wanted to forget and just go through the motions of swinging through the city and web up criminals here and there.

The city itself won’t let him forget though. Everywhere he goes, he sees his face… Even the people won’t let him forget. He was often asked if he’s going to be the next Iron Man. He sighed and suited up.

“Hi Peter,” Karen greeted, “it is too late for your patrol.”

“It’s okay Karen. Just want to swing around a bit.” He then jumped out of his window and swung towards Midtown.

After an hour of patrol, he took a break on a rooftop of one of the high-rise buildings in Long Island City. He took out his phone and saw it was two in the morning. His thumb hovered over his contacts app. After a few seconds of hesitation, he called his mentor’s phone number. His heart plummeted when his call went directly to voicemail.

“You’ve reached Tony Stark’s voicemail.” FRIDAY’s Irish lilt answered the call. “Please leave a message after the beep.”

“Umm, he-hey, Tony! I-I know what you’re going to say. Yeah, it’s too late but, I had a- I had a nightmare and I can’t sleep so, I just went on patrol. New York is safe. Took out a few robbers here and there. Everything’s umm, everything’s good.”

Peter paused. His throat felt tight as he desperately tried to not let a sob escape.

“I miss you, Tony.”

His hand shook as he ended the call. Peter lost track of how many voicemails he sent over the weeks since. He knew it was unhealthy, leaving voicemails that would never be heard by the recipient. Peter knew it was crazy and impossible but he couldn’t help but hope that, by some miracle, he gets to talk to Tony again. He even wanted his mentor to get mad and reprimand him for being irresponsible. He wanted something, anything but, there was only silence.

He removed his mask as he looked over the Manhattan skyline. He couldn’t help but let his gaze zero in on the former Avengers Tower. The tower was never sold. From what he heard, the fact that it has its own Arc Reactor and is off the city’s electric grid skyrocketed its real estate value. Good thing though, Pepper took the ownership back. It’s currently under construction. Peter’s not sure if it would be the return of the Avengers Tower or it would become Stark Tower as it was originally.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of repulsors from the direction of the Tower. The sound felt like a stab in his heart. He imagined it was Iron Man, despite it being unlikely. A few minutes later, he saw the Rescue suit fly closer. He knew Pepper was just concerned and wanted to check up on him but, he would rather be chewed out by Tony and be lectured on not getting a full eight hours of sleep than hear her concerns.

“Peter, are you okay?” She asked as soon as she landed behind him and the nanites retreated back to their casings, the twin bracelets on her wrists. “It’s too late to go on patrol.” She wore a gray yoga pants and a white t-shirt with a cat print on it. Peter thought the shirt was vaguely familiar but then it finally hit him after a second or two. It was one of Tony’s shirts. The stabbing pain in his heart returned.

“Y-yeah. I’m-I’m okay. I just,” he sighed and looked forward towards the Tower, “you know…”

“I think I have an idea.” She walked closer then sat beside him. “I have nights like that too.” They sat together in silence for some time. Peter didn’t want to cut the silence short but he didn’t want to impose on Pepper.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t have to come here. You have Morgan to look after.”

“Don’t worry, she’s asleep. Rhodey's with her and FRIDAY will alert me if something happens. Peter,” she placed her hand on his shoulder, “keeping you company is not an obligation. You’re my kid too.” He looked up at her. She gave him a smile. “I care about you a lot.”

He nodded and hung his head. He admired and envied Pepper for her strength. She’s just like May. He couldn’t fathom how painful it was for her to let Tony go.

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” She removed her hand on his shoulder to run her fingers through his curly hair. “It’s not healthy to bottle things up.”

“Thanks but, I’m really okay.” He forced a smile though he knew she didn’t buy it. Pepper raised both her eyebrows.

“Want to try that again?”

“I-It’s just...” It took a few more seconds for him to continue. He felt his throat close up. “It’s a lot of things. I don’t want to be a burden to you or anything especially since...” He looked at her and silently pleaded for her to understand and just let it go.

“You’re not a burden. Don’t ever, ever think you’re a burden to me.” She reached out and gently cupped his face with her hand. “As far as I’m concerned, you and May are part of my family. We go through this together. Okay?”

Family… For years, Peter thought the only family he ever had was with Ben and May. Due to his own stupidity, Ben was taken away from them and for some time, he accepted that the only family he would ever have was May; that is, until Tony Stark barged into their lives.

He never knew willingly going with Tony to Germany would lead to more connections, a bigger family. And yet, the universe took another loved one, one that taught and supported him… His hero… He’s not here anymore...

“The world needs the next Iron Man and I-I don’t know if, if I could or even want to step up. I just want things to go back to the way it was before.” Peter confessed after few seconds of hesitation. He clenched his jaw as unbidden tears rolled down his cheeks. “He’s gone, Pepper! I’ll do anything to have him back!” He sobbed and Pepper embraced him, soft and warm. He clenched his fist as he felt her comb his hair. He couldn’t help but cry harder. “I miss him so much!”

“I know, sweetie. I miss him too.” He heard the anguish in Pepper’s response.

“And then, I would feel guilty for even thinking of taking a break from being Spider-man. I don’t want to let Tony down but I’m so worn out and-” It got hard for him to breath.

“Shhh… It’s okay, sweetie.”

“No, it’s not!” Peter leaned back to look at Pepper. “Sometimes I get angry at him for using the gauntlet. Why did he have to be the one to do it? There must’ve been another way! You and Morgan, she-she lost a father…” Pepper, with tears on her eyes, gave him a sad smile.

“Pete, you know it was his choice.”

“Maybe I could’ve-”

“No!” Pepper fiercely interrupted. “Never you, Peter! Not in a million years!”

“It didn’t have to be him!”

“But that’s Tony.” Pepper sighed. “He could never rest knowing that he could save his family, that he could save you, and he didn’t do anything.”

Peter suddenly remembered the day he first had a talk with Tony. When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t… and then the bad things happen… they happen because of you.

“Trust me, he wouldn’t be disappointed in you if you want to take a break from being Spider-man.” She wiped the tears off his cheeks with her hands. “All he wanted is for you to be happy. He wanted you to be the best version of yourself. The world doesn’t need the next Iron Man.” He looked at her in disbelief. “The world needs you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Tony’s already so proud of you.” Her mouth curved into a small smile. “So, whether you decide to make the world a better place as Peter Parker or Spider-man, you would make him prouder.” He smiled back at her despite the tears still in his eyes.

“Thank you, Pepper.” The empty space that Tony left in his heart was still painful, but maybe when more time passed, there would be acceptance. In time, he would learn to live with it and look back to cherish the good times he spent with Tony Stark.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Like I said, family sticks together.”

---

When he got back home, he was not surprised to find May waiting for him. One look from her and he knew Pepper and May had a talk.

“I-I’m sorry, I just-” He was cut off by May’s tight hug.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” Her soothing voice along with the way she rubbed circles on his back never failed to make him feel safe. He hugged her just as tight if not tighter, not unlike when he was younger. “It’s okay. I got you.”

[shorilicious]

t/n: (from tangorin) tsundere = being on the surface sharp and sarcastic (tsuntsun) but underneath lovestruck and fawning (deredere), characteristic of a gap between acted out actions and feelings in mind.

My level of tsundere

Shori: It’s pretty high. You can see it well in the way I handle Marius (laughing). Regardless of gender, it’s embarrassing to fawn on somebody. So the way I tease Marius, I guess it’s not really different from the way I’d treat girls. Because I’d prefer a girl who loves herself (laughing). I’ll be kind in general but when I like you I will mainly tease you and be loving occasionally... That would be my style (laughing). But me teasing you is only proof of my mindfulness. „Even so, it looks like we can get along well“, if my partner thinks like that it’ll be fine. In romance or in work, a „fun atmosphere“ is very important!

Sou: In my normal life, my tsundere level towards girls is close to zero. „It’s the only person I can be tsundere towards to!“, I can only declare this to be true about Marius (laughing). Since Marius was a child before, I would call him „Mariussssss“ in front of everyone, I was amazed at my lovingly care. But recently Marius has totally grown up, right? It’s getting embarrassing to spoil him like that, so I try to put on a colder attitude on purpose. Then Marius starts whining and calling „Ne, ne, Sou-chan!“. When I see Marius behave like that, inside my heart I think „So far it’s going well“ (laughing).

Marius: I’m often told „Marius’s level of tsundere is strong“ by others. Since I sulk easily, it seems like that’s the reason why people think that (laughing). But I think that is a little different from the original „tsundere“ meaning. The people who often tease me though are Fuma-kun and Shori-kun! (In reply, Shori who is sitting behind him bumps Marius’ chair from behind on purpose) See, that’s what I mean! I have to sulk because he keeps doing things like that. (Now Shori gets up and stands right next to Marius to keep staring at his face intensely) ...Come on, I don’t know the meaning of this (laughing)! However him teasing me like that, it’s annoying but it still makes me happy. When he’s being kind to me, he’s really kind though... wait, what? Rather than talking about me, this turned into a talk about Shori-kun’s tsundere side (laughing)!

Kento: I guess towards girls I can be quite tsundere. But for people who are expecting „Kurosaki-kun~“, it won’t be to that extent (laughing). Since I think I want to tease the girl I like, I won’t always be sweet. Some people might say „I want to be swayed by my girlfriend“ but I’m the complete opposite. When it comes to love I want to be superior... I also have a fundamental desire like that.

Fuma: When it comes to girls, I’m not really lovey-dovey. You can expect me being tsuntsun but not dere (laughing). Of course, I won’t be fawning or crying... I don’t think I will do those things. If I did that, I think I would get beaten up by the girl’s father (laughing). However, when I let my guard down I think I will say things like „You look ugly today~“. I like people with that kind of gap. Even with our male and female staff members, I like people who can handle people like me. If I have a partner like that, I’ll be able to let the really harsh Fuma come out. If you return the opposite and be really lovingly towards me still, I think you’re genuine about me then.

My ideal level of tsundere in a girl

Shori: I think it’s cute when a girl is peevish but I’ll be troubled if she’s seriously angry at me. When I am at fault I will properly apologise in a gentlemanly way. When we fight because of something small where we can say „I don’t mind it“, then it’s okay to poke fun at each other. But people who are generally „tsun“, I can’t deal with that. As expected, I want her to be kind. Eh, which level of „dere“ do I want her to be? Well... that’s a secret (laughing). I’m too embarrassed to reveal such a thing so I’m not telling (laughing)!

Sou: Deep inside my heart I will be hurt by cold behaviour but I don’t necessarily dislike tsundere people. For example, people who don’t take action by themselves. When I say „Hey, well... I’m kind of hungry“, and the girl replies „Eh, you want me to make something?“ (laughing). Then I will say „Eh, you don’t want to?“, to which she will reply „...I guess it can’t be helped“, and finally take action. I’m attracted to that type of girl rather than someone who says „Aren’t you hungry? Shall I make you something?“ from the beginning. After that when we say goodbye, I will text her a message saying „I want to see you again“, to which she would say „That guy~ Even though I was this tsuntsun just a few moments ago~“, I think that would make me happy (laughing).

Marius: I think it’s cute when girls are angry. I think in that situation I would mess with her a little if she lets me. I don’t want her to get seriously angry at me though, it would make me happy if she can take a joke and pout a little. But next time when I say „Ahh, my shoulders are stiff from studying!“, I want her to say „Well, can’t be helped“ as she starts giving me a massage. „It feels really stiff“, she would say and I would reply „Really? Thank you. That was quite easy“. I feel okay with a mild tsundere like that.

Kento: I don’t really like it. When it comes to tsundere women, my mother is enough for me (laughing). She’s really scary. There’s a story when I was in middle school that I’ll never forget. While I was talking on the phone for a long time with a friend, she banged on my room’s door and yelled „Until when are you going to phone!“ with a loud, angry voice. „She’s shouting while I’m on the phone!?“, I thought that while being surprised. Well, I was on the phone for eight hours so I understand (laughing). Compared to me, she’s able to voice her opinions in a harsh way... that’s her way of a warm welcome. After that when I feel down, I might feel happy again if you can tell me something like „Hey, cheer up! I will hit you if you don’t!“

Fuma: Because I’m a tsundere type, I think I would be annoyed if my girl is like that as well and I’d say things like „Shut up~“ and „Eh, what the hell are you saying?“, so wouldn’t it feel like a normal fight (laughing)? When it comes to love, I think I want to be „the stronger one“. Ah, but when you say something like „Eh, today’s your birthday? I forgot!... Just kidding ♪~“, if you’re a cute tsundere like that, I might forgive you (laughing).

A good winter story♡

Shori: Winter itself is the best! I really like winter. First of all the air is refreshing and it’s not damp and humid. I could complain about humidity forever... I’m that type of person (laughing). The outside locations are surely cold but in that case I will take six heat packs with me before I go out! Also I’d wear a coat in this season, I can be fashionable as well. Food is delicious too. When it comes to winter food I like hot pot although it’s plain. The mizutaki I ate in Hakata was delicious. I am simple but rather than eating mizutaki in Tokyo, the collagen level there is amazing! Ah, is it already March? Then we’re one step closer to the damp and humid summer. Seriously, I’ll be depressed from now on (laughing).

Sou: It seems that during winter love will deepen. The city has pretty illuminations and there are many events going on. Since it’s cold you can warm yourselves together under a kotatsu, you can walk outside holding hands and you can share a scarf together, right? If it was summer you would say something like „It’s hot! Get away from me!“ (laughing).

Marius: I like winter in Germany! Growing up in Heidelberg, I liked the amount of snow during winter, there are many stalls gathered by the square and the Christmas market is built there as well. „Is this real?“, I feel like that every time, it becomes a beautiful and romantic landscape. The stalls sell delicious waffles and German cakes and all the adults drink mulled wine. But I also like the New Year’s holidays in Japan. I really like osechi and other New Year’s dishes!

Kento: I like love stories set in winter. It’s the season to long for other people, so watching a love story is going to warm you up and you will feel satisfied afterwards, right? Eh, you can’t oppose your romantic orientation (laughing)? When that topic came up on „HonmadekkaTV“, (Akashiya) Sanma-san talked about it as well. That topic came up before already but recently it has become more open. As long as there is fun in love, won’t it be accompanied by troubles, worries and suffering too? But when I see happy couples in the city, I think „Wow~ I want to have a romance like that too!“, so that turns into suffering in a way (laughing). I wonder which suffering is better?

Fuma: When work is done I love getting home to take a bath and then eating ice cream after. During summer I like a refreshing popsicle but in winter I love eating ice cream. It’s cold outside but when I just get out of the bath I feel quite hot so I go to my freezer to see which ice cream flavours I keep there and I pick one that I’m in the mood for. By the way, I think today I’m in the mood for matcha. I want Sexy Zone to try doing a CM for ice ream. Although I say it myself, wouldn’t it suit us pretty well? But not a „bright and cheerful“ kind, I’d much rather do a CM with a mature atmosphere. Not only Nakajima but all of us should have some sweet lines (laughing)!

Something that’s not good for me

Shori: I guess music. I love it too much, I can’t go without it. There was a time when I gathered my music loving friends in a studio and we did a band session together but then before I noticed, it was already early morning... my words now, does it really sound like I’m a bandsman (laughing)? We talked about music, practised various techniques and only did a short break in the middle of the night to go to a shop to get something small to eat. Time flew by in the blink of an eye. I thought I have to make sure to get enough hours of sleep, however it just turned out to be such an enjoyable time for me. It’s okay to do that once in a while, right?

Sou: Floor heating. Even in midwinter I can walk on it barefoot while wrapped in a blanket, so I feel cosy super quickly. But that’s not good. Even if there is my bed right next to me and it’s the optimal thing to sleep on, I’m scared to get on my bed since I know it’s cold. Before I realise it, I’ve spent the whole night on my heated floor until the morning... I often had that happen to me. I really turned into a „hopeless case“, it’s terrible (laughing). I’m afraid of that, so recently I always hesitate for a moment before I switch on the floor heating (laughing).

Marius: Tangerines and gummies. I eat way too much of these! Originally, gummies are German sweets. That’s why when I have gummies at hand, I will eat the whole bag. When I was little my mum used to tell me „If you eat too many tangerines, your whole body will turn orange and you’ll become an orange human being“, so I was seriously scared (laughing).

Kento: Strong romance. Well, I talk a lot about romance today (laughing). I only think about work 100%, so I think it (thinking about romance) will disappear eventually. That’s why when I long for a strong romance, it’s a little scary. Recently I’ve been asked about romantic ideas on television and in magazines a lot so I start thinking about dispatching it properly. I need a relationship, please (laughing).

Fuma: When taking a bath, while I wash my body and my hair, I often leave the shower on... I guess it’s that thing. Because during this time it’s super cold in the bathroom. It’s only during the winter so forgive me! A few moments ago I told you “I eat ice cream after getting out of the bath” but sometimes I even eat it while I’m inside the bath. I set the bath’s temperature to 42°C, then the cold ice cream tastes even better! It’s really a luxurious time. During that time I will return home all happy... My behaviour is bad but still this has become a crucial time for me.

Keep in mind I am not a native speaker therefore there might be mistakes in my translations. Also I’m not exactly translating word for word. Feel free to correct me in my ask box any time you want, I’d appreciate it! I apologize if someone already translated something before me and I didn’t notice, I hope you don’t mind.

Credit goes to yoshiko_mama @ LJ for the scans, thank you!

[cafezimmermann]

(in which I become angry...)

On Thursday evening, I attended a vernissage at the Grassi Museum of Ethnology in Leipzig for The German Dream, an "ethnographic study of the dreams, rituals, and visions of a society in which many of its members are looking for an alternative for Germany." The exhibition, as seen through the eyes of its two curators – a cultural anthropologist and an art historian – attempted to identify “typically German” things that seemed doomed to disappear in the future.

"At the beginning of the 20th century, ethnologists were driven into the world by the fear of the loss of "foreign" societies, which is why they set off to collect objects, languages, and stories from all over the world before the respective communities disappeared under the pressure of colonialism. Before this presumably happens to the Germans as well, we have collected important every day and cult objects of this community and offer here a small insight into the current state of what is often speculative research."

On the whole, I found the exhibition interesting (having translated parts of it into English, I was curious what it looked like). There were elements of it that I particularly liked – for example, a 1972 video of Germany in the year 2000 that portrayed the typical working day of a specific "Herr B, 45 years old, politically independent, and single. For the past five years, he has had a steady girlfriend, and for the past two years an artificial heart that works satisfactorily for him." In the adjacent room, there was a mockup of the "Weisses Ross" (White Horse), a Leipzig bar that, after 143 years, was forced to close its doors to make way for a modern microbrewery (at the Stammtisch, the regulars of the bar had been invited to drink beer and play a final round of cards for the visitors). And in yet in another room, there was an installation titled "Digging for Dreams and Nightmares" – a presentation of how a German archeological team has been deliberately planting time capsules at random locations for future generations to discover.

These were the exhibition's highlights. For the most part, however, The German Dream seemed to focus on the dreariness of conservative middle-brow mentality and consumerism – a life of plastic water bottles, barbecue grills, supermarket checkout counter dividers at Aldi, Märklin model train sets, plastic garden dwarfs, Playmobil figures, and Jack Wolfskin rain parkas (strange, the exhibition failed to display those little waste receptacles found at breakfast tables in German hotels). These odds and ends that we take for granted in everyday life, accompanied by pictures of faceless communities (where, when you step off of the bus, you stare heavenwards and wonder to yourself "Just what the hell am I doing here?") attempted to portray modern German society, on the whole, as ‘castrated’:

“While megalopolises such as Shanghai and Dubai are realizing the belief in progress in concrete and steel, the Germans are forced to put up with the question: What happened to the great projects? While around 1900 the overall fascination for visions of the future was still great, it seems, only 19 years after Expo 2000 in Hanover, that the German mentality of the 21st century remains stuck in provincialism, skepticism, and retro kitsch.”  

That said, the ‘epicenter’ of The German Dream was a room that had been cordoned off by heavy velvet curtains – the "heart of darkness," a space apart from the drab grey of consumerism where "good citizens" dare not go. It was here where the fascinating and yet controversial aspects of German culture could be found. It was here where Lucas Cranach's Eve was offset by, among other things, Schinkel's stage design for the “Queen of the Night” aria in Mozart’s Magic Flute, stills from Reni Riefenstahl's film Olympia, a portrait of Karl Marx's daughter Laura, and a drawing of a wolf in the woods made by the art historian's five-year-old daughter. It was here where Caspar David Friedrich's Cloister Cemetery in the Snow was juxtaposed with portrayals of Albert Speer's Germania (as an "idealized" future) and black and white photographs of drab concrete prefabricated East German housing blocks (as the reality of Socialist utopia). And it was here where, unfortunately, in the middle of it all, Deutschland, Rammstein's latest video, was being played in an endless loop on a video monitor.

In a time where political views seem to be a polarization of extreme political correctness and blatant right-wing populism, Deutschland is a disturbing attempt by Rammstein to address key points of German history: the Crusades, the Reformation, colonialism, National Socialism, and the Cold War – in effect, all of the things that The German Dream didn’t address. And, although I can understand why some regard Rammstein's "message" in the video as a criticism of German history and thus a dissociation of right-wing ideas ("Deutschland, meine Liebe kann ich dir nicht geben" – "Germany, I cannot give you my love"), Rammstein doesn't hesitate to portray the very violence it seems to criticize.

This, in turn, effectively makes Deutschland nothing more than a rape of German history. In an online article about the video, Mitteldeutscher Rundfunk (Central German Broadcasting, MDR) didn't hesitate to conceal the outrage of many who see Deutschland as an affront to humanity and German culture. According to Christoph Heubner, Executive Vice President of the International Auschwitz Committee, the band’s members "rage with their violent fantasies through German history as if inspired, driven by the greed for the most bloodthirsty images and scenes possible, including those of the German concentration camps […] The value of this video as an artistic examination of German history and Germany as a fatherland is far below zero." MDR adds Josef Schuster's opinion to Heubner's thoughts: "Anyone who misuses the Holocaust for marketing purposes acts reprehensibly and immorally."

(Even the title of the video stoops to the lowest common denominator by using the 1934 “Deutschland” typeface, which typesetters, who were brought up with more elegant, humanistic examples of Fraktur from 16th and 17th centuries, ironically referred to as Schaftstiefelgrotesk ("jackboot grotesques"). Oddly enough, Hitler later banned the blackletter typeface in 1941, decreeing that "the so-called Gothic letters were based on Jewish Schwabacher letterforms.")

The message of the video aside, I felt that the overbearing maelstrom of Rammstein's music – its sheer aggressive, overbearing force – pulled the visitor away from being able to focus on the rest of the images in the dimly lit room. It angered me, in part because the visual associations offered were absolutely brilliant – there was so much to discover in the room, and yet, after unsuccessfully trying to draw my attention away from the video, I simply gave up and left, frustrated by the experience.

On my way back home, I started wondering about what this part of the exhibition might have been like if there had been different music. It then hit upon me that in his essay Concert Design. Form Follows Function, Folkert Uhde, the director of Radialsystem V in Berlin, writes about the importance of context in a concert program, citing an experiment he often holds in workshops about concert design:

"I often conduct a small experiment by showing ten very different photographs and playing the same piece of music for each photograph. The reactions are always surprising: depending on the image, which is seen as 'suitable', the music achieves in part an entirely different effect. Sometimes it is even doubted that it was the same recording of the same piece."

With that in mind, I began to ask myself, “What would it have been like the other way around?” How might have the public reacted had this room been presented with a different pieces of music in the background? How might such parallel worlds, which, musically, equally reflect the complex diversity and beauty of Germany's cultural past, affect and alter the visitor’s perception of the images on the wall? Which music would have been best suited? Would the relationship and meaning of the images change according to the musical context - perhaps intensifying the one over the other?

As Folkert Uhde explains: “If the impression is strong enough, it will make an impact. Contextualization can introduce a particular atmosphere, make associations and, above all, create individual personal points of reference for the listener.”

What if, for example, if classical music ranging from Bach's chorale "Ach wie nichtig, ach wie flüchtig" or Salomone Rossi's Al naharot Bavel to Richard Wagner's “Im Treibhaus” (from his Wesendonk Lieder) or Anton Webern's Passacaglia for Orchestra, op. 1, had been playing? Or, if popular music were desired, something like Wolf Bierman's Ermutigung, Jupp Schmitz's Wer soll das bezahlen?, or a video of MarieMarie's A Beautiful Life? What associations might have been made through these pieces of music?

Or, if they really wanted to be confrontational, why not a video of the Ernst Thälmann Lied, the unofficial hymn of the German Democratic Republic?

“The most precious thing man possesses is life. It is given only once. And he shall use it so that he may say when he dies, ‘My whole life, my whole power, I have dedicated the most glorious thing in the world, in the struggle for the liberation of mankind.’”

(my translation of the text at the end of the video)

Unfortunately, the opportunity to explore such relationships within the context of The German Dream was simply missed. Actually, that’s putting it lightly – the use of the Rammstein video was, in in my opinion, a display of ignorance. 

Admittedly, it showed the point where we have arrived in society (which, from what I understand, was the justification for using the video), but failing to take the rest of Germany’s rich musical culture into consideration is criminal. Indeed we have come a long way from Martin Luther’s proclamation “Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.” But do we really need to reach for the bottom of the barrel and scrape out ‘music’ that is so vile and does nothing more than glorify the history of violence for commercial purposes? And just because we are too blind to look beyond the horizon? 

I hope not, and yet, when I see Deutschland being used in a serious discourse about German society, I have my doubts.

[jerometbean]

uProfito Review – What Exactly Is “uProfito”? Do You Really Need It?

[uProfito Review]

The Only Passive Income Solution You’Ll Ever Need. Discover The “No Selling System” That’s Raking In $1,000-2000 Daily On Complete Autopilot… No CPA Required | No Paid Ads Or Expenses | No Website Or List Required

Introduction

Hey, do you ever feel like there’s a “missing piece to the puzzle” that ‘s causing you to struggle to see any results online?

Your gut feeling is right!

You see .. You know .. This is because most approaches involve the sale. You ‘re still battling online.

Problem is, somebody is not easy to buy (especially in times like this).

Okay, don’t worry. Because the “no-sale” code has broken down these two guys.

And in a cool 1,000-2,000 profit every day. With no selling of any sort.

Don’t you believe me? Don’t you believe me?

Wait on this page to see how it was achieved.

uProfito Review – An Overview

Product NameuProfitoProduct CreatorJason FultonLaunch Date & Time[2020-Jul-01] @ 09:00 EDTPrice$27BonusYes, Best Bonus Available!Refund Period30-DaysOfficial Sitehttp://www.uprofitotoday.com/Product TypeAuto Content Posting SoftwareSkillAny LevelsRecommendedHighly Recommended

What Is Called “uProfito”?

“uProfito” is a a combination of software and training system that brings you the method of making automated income using their automated software.

Basically, uProfito software creates beautiful looking automated video sites with viral & trending content and it brings free traffic. Also, the creators will show you how to use this traffic to generate a lot of income with zero selling. Even they have been using this exact method.

You can get up and running in less than 90 seconds. Simply login to the software, choose a campaign & activate the software…

Dozens of users have reported being able to make 3 figure paydays in as little as 1-3 days after getting started. Learn more below.

9.2 Total Score

Very Good!

Making money online is actually not hard until you find out the right method and tools. "uProfito" is a kind of software and training program which gives you access to full training and software to make easy online money. It is 100% newbie friendly, prooven & tested by real users.

QUALITY

9

FEATURES

9.5

EASY TO USE

9.5

PRICE

9

BONUS

9

SUPPORT

9

PROS

It Only Takes 90 Seconds To Set Up

Runs On Autopilot While You Sleep

No Selling Or CPA Is Required

No Paid Traffic, Hosting Fees, Domains, etc

Best Customer Support

CONS

No Issues Still Now

User Rating: Be the first one!

About The Authors

Jason Fulton is a well know product vendor as well as top affiliate on WarriorPlus. He launched a variety of good quality info products and software online.

Take a look at these awesome launches of Jason… Ultimate Profit System, Supersonic List Machine, Rapid Income Trigger, Commission Siphon Funnel, Quantum Profits, OMG Profitz, Evergreen Commission Machine, EZ SalaryZ, CloudProfitz, Fast Profit Jacker and many more to tell.

Now Jason Fulton has partnered with one of  innovative guy called Seun Ogundele and launching their new cloud based app. I am sure you are gonna blow away when using it.

How Does “uProfito” Work?

Want To Know What Exactly Is uProfito? Watch The Demo

uProfito Member Area Walkthrough

This is the main dashboard view of the uProfito system.

See all your automated sites created with this system. Please watch this uProfito demo video to see how these sites has been created in just 2 minutes.

Training area… Learn what you need to do generate massive income

What Customers Say About “uProfito”?

People are seeing results with uProfito and so will you…

7 Reasons Why I Would Recommend uProfito

EARN PASSIVE INCOME WHILE YOU SLEEP

You ‘re going to love uProfito, you set it down and forget it. This bad boy is supposed to keep “print money” for you 24/7 …

Profit While You’re Catching Z’s…

Profit While You’re Spending Time With Your Family…

Profit While You’re On Vacation…

NO SELLING REQUIRED

You see, it’s ZERO selling, which makes uProfito powerful. The majority of methods require a sale. Making online something a boring job. uProfitos does not. Not uProfito. And this is why it quickly generates results …

COMPLETELY NEWBIE FRIENDLY

Yes , it sounds like a cliché, but 100%. In order to test the drive, they gave uProfito 20 cold newbies, and all of them saw results.

Yup … You know … Every of them. And it doesn’t matter how much experience you have, whether you are an accomplished trader or a newbie, that’s great!

PROFIT ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

If you are using uProfito, it is not important where you are in the world. Whether you are from Germany, Australia, United States , India or Kenya, you will see results. This doesn’t hinder your opportunity to prosper, regardless of where you are.

STEP-BY-STEP TRAINING INCLUDED

They want to provide you with all the required tools. That is exactly why we have that extremely thorough step-by – step preparation together. This shows you uProfito’s ins and outs. And how do the program optimize …

DONE FOR YOU CAMPAIGNS

You can only receive 4 campaigns for a limited period that you can begin to take advantage immediately. In your way of profiting there is no obstacle.

WORLD CLASS SUPPORT TEAM

Sounds familiar with this story? It doesn’t work you purchased a product. And you are hitting the help. Yet crickets are what you hear … You feel cheated, abused. You have best support with uProfito.

What Is Good & What Is Bad?

Good

Uprofito Is Completely Newbie Friendly

It Takes Only 90 Seconds To Get Started

Earn 3 Figure Paydays From Home With Ease

3X Your Money Back If You Don’t See Results

No Spamming Social Media Or Blackhat Methods

Runs On Complete Autopilot 24/7, While You Sleep

3 DFY Campaigns Included

Step-By-Step Training Included For Free

Access To World Class Support Ready To Help

Bad

No Major Cons Has Been Identified

Who Is It For?

uProfito is perfect for all walks of life that want to earn online.

Pricing & Evaluation

Well, how much is it going to cost you to go the same way? The same way to buy worthless products, which just offer a shrinking bank account. Do you really want that?

Hey, Jason and his wife has worked on uProfito for $59,231.21 & 10 months. Originally planned to sell this at a $997 private webinar. But for you this is too much, right? Today’s uProfito does not cost nearly $997.

Take a look at below. For the $27, you will get everything listed below

Conclusion

Here on this page you have all the facts. uProfito is the easiest way to get money out of the gates. This is because no selling is necessary and no site or domain required (and no social media spamming!). You ‘re going to use them? What do you expect? Take steps until the special price rises.

Frequently Asked Questions

WHAT DEVICES DOES THIS WORK ON?

UProfito is a web-based tool, and almost every app is running out there. All from the PCs , MAC, iPads, iPhones, or smartphones.

IS THIS CPA?

Nope.-Nope. You should worry about CPA if you hear “no sale involved.” Yet it’s not about that. That’s never what you knew …

DO I HAVE TO SPAM SOCIAL MEDIA?

Nope.-Nope. You don’t have to flood social media and bother your family and friends unlike other apps out there.

WHAT IS UPROFITO?

uProfito is an app that Seun and I have been using to quietly make $1-2k daily online, WITHOUT selling.

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO SEE RESULTS?

All depends on how easily you turn on uProfito. In less than 90 seconds you can get up and going. Only sign in to the website, pick a campaign and turn on the machine … Dozens of users claimed that in as little as 1-3 days after they got started they can pay for 3 figures.

WHAT IF I EXPERIENCE ANY ISSUES WITH UPROFITO?

You will be supported by your world-class support team if you have any problems with the uProfit.

source https://spsreviews.com/uprofito-review/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=uprofito-review from SPS Reviews https://spsreviewscom1.blogspot.com/2020/07/uprofito-review-what-exactly-is.html

[gertrudejnieves]

uProfito Review – What Exactly Is “uProfito”? Do You Really Need It?

[uProfito Review]

The Only Passive Income Solution You’Ll Ever Need. Discover The “No Selling System” That’s Raking In $1,000-2000 Daily On Complete Autopilot… No CPA Required | No Paid Ads Or Expenses | No Website Or List Required

Introduction

Hey, do you ever feel like there’s a “missing piece to the puzzle” that ‘s causing you to struggle to see any results online?

Your gut feeling is right!

You see .. You know .. This is because most approaches involve the sale. You ‘re still battling online.

Problem is, somebody is not easy to buy (especially in times like this).

Okay, don’t worry. Because the “no-sale” code has broken down these two guys.

And in a cool 1,000-2,000 profit every day. With no selling of any sort.

Don’t you believe me? Don’t you believe me?

Wait on this page to see how it was achieved.

uProfito Review – An Overview

Product Name uProfito Product Creator Jason Fulton Launch Date & Time [2020-Jul-01] @ 09:00 EDT Price $27 Bonus Yes, Best Bonus Available! Refund Period 30-Days Official Site http://www.uprofitotoday.com/ Product Type Auto Content Posting Software Skill Any Levels Recommended Highly Recommended

What Is Called “uProfito”?

“uProfito” is a a combination of software and training system that brings you the method of making automated income using their automated software.

Basically, uProfito software creates beautiful looking automated video sites with viral & trending content and it brings free traffic. Also, the creators will show you how to use this traffic to generate a lot of income with zero selling. Even they have been using this exact method.

You can get up and running in less than 90 seconds. Simply login to the software, choose a campaign & activate the software…

Dozens of users have reported being able to make 3 figure paydays in as little as 1-3 days after getting started. Learn more below.

9.2 Total Score

Very Good!

Making money online is actually not hard until you find out the right method and tools. “uProfito” is a kind of software and training program which gives you access to full training and software to make easy online money. It is 100% newbie friendly, prooven & tested by real users.

QUALITY

9

FEATURES

9.5

EASY TO USE

9.5

PRICE

9

BONUS

9

SUPPORT

9

PROS

It Only Takes 90 Seconds To Set Up

Runs On Autopilot While You Sleep

No Selling Or CPA Is Required

No Paid Traffic, Hosting Fees, Domains, etc

Best Customer Support

CONS

No Issues Still Now

User Rating: Be the first one!

About The Authors

Jason Fulton is a well know product vendor as well as top affiliate on WarriorPlus. He launched a variety of good quality info products and software online.

Take a look at these awesome launches of Jason… Ultimate Profit System, Supersonic List Machine, Rapid Income Trigger, Commission Siphon Funnel, Quantum Profits, OMG Profitz, Evergreen Commission Machine, EZ SalaryZ, CloudProfitz, Fast Profit Jacker and many more to tell.

Now Jason Fulton has partnered with one of  innovative guy called Seun Ogundele and launching their new cloud based app. I am sure you are gonna blow away when using it.

How Does “uProfito” Work?

Want To Know What Exactly Is uProfito? Watch The Demo

uProfito Member Area Walkthrough

This is the main dashboard view of the uProfito system.

See all your automated sites created with this system. Please watch this uProfito demo video to see how these sites has been created in just 2 minutes.

Training area… Learn what you need to do generate massive income

What Customers Say About “uProfito”?

People are seeing results with uProfito and so will you…

7 Reasons Why I Would Recommend uProfito

EARN PASSIVE INCOME WHILE YOU SLEEP

You ‘re going to love uProfito, you set it down and forget it. This bad boy is supposed to keep “print money” for you 24/7 …

Profit While You’re Catching Z’s…

Profit While You’re Spending Time With Your Family…

Profit While You’re On Vacation…

NO SELLING REQUIRED

You see, it’s ZERO selling, which makes uProfito powerful. The majority of methods require a sale. Making online something a boring job. uProfitos does not. Not uProfito. And this is why it quickly generates results …

COMPLETELY NEWBIE FRIENDLY

Yes , it sounds like a cliché, but 100%. In order to test the drive, they gave uProfito 20 cold newbies, and all of them saw results.

Yup … You know … Every of them. And it doesn’t matter how much experience you have, whether you are an accomplished trader or a newbie, that’s great!

PROFIT ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

If you are using uProfito, it is not important where you are in the world. Whether you are from Germany, Australia, United States , India or Kenya, you will see results. This doesn’t hinder your opportunity to prosper, regardless of where you are.

STEP-BY-STEP TRAINING INCLUDED

They want to provide you with all the required tools. That is exactly why we have that extremely thorough step-by – step preparation together. This shows you uProfito’s ins and outs. And how do the program optimize …

DONE FOR YOU CAMPAIGNS

You can only receive 4 campaigns for a limited period that you can begin to take advantage immediately. In your way of profiting there is no obstacle.

WORLD CLASS SUPPORT TEAM

Sounds familiar with this story? It doesn’t work you purchased a product. And you are hitting the help. Yet crickets are what you hear … You feel cheated, abused. You have best support with uProfito.

What Is Good & What Is Bad?

Good

Uprofito Is Completely Newbie Friendly

It Takes Only 90 Seconds To Get Started

Earn 3 Figure Paydays From Home With Ease

3X Your Money Back If You Don’t See Results

No Spamming Social Media Or Blackhat Methods

Runs On Complete Autopilot 24/7, While You Sleep

3 DFY Campaigns Included

Step-By-Step Training Included For Free

Access To World Class Support Ready To Help

Bad

No Major Cons Has Been Identified

Who Is It For?

uProfito is perfect for all walks of life that want to earn online.

Pricing & Evaluation

Well, how much is it going to cost you to go the same way? The same way to buy worthless products, which just offer a shrinking bank account. Do you really want that?

Hey, Jason and his wife has worked on uProfito for $59,231.21 & 10 months. Originally planned to sell this at a $997 private webinar. But for you this is too much, right? Today’s uProfito does not cost nearly $997.

Take a look at below. For the $27, you will get everything listed below

Conclusion

Here on this page you have all the facts. uProfito is the easiest way to get money out of the gates. This is because no selling is necessary and no site or domain required (and no social media spamming!). You ‘re going to use them? What do you expect? Take steps until the special price rises.

Frequently Asked Questions

WHAT DEVICES DOES THIS WORK ON?

UProfito is a web-based tool, and almost every app is running out there. All from the PCs , MAC, iPads, iPhones, or smartphones.

IS THIS CPA?

Nope.-Nope. You should worry about CPA if you hear “no sale involved.” Yet it’s not about that. That’s never what you knew …

DO I HAVE TO SPAM SOCIAL MEDIA?

Nope.-Nope. You don’t have to flood social media and bother your family and friends unlike other apps out there.

WHAT IS UPROFITO?

uProfito is an app that Seun and I have been using to quietly make $1-2k daily online, WITHOUT selling.

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO SEE RESULTS?

All depends on how easily you turn on uProfito. In less than 90 seconds you can get up and going. Only sign in to the website, pick a campaign and turn on the machine … Dozens of users claimed that in as little as 1-3 days after they got started they can pay for 3 figures.

WHAT IF I EXPERIENCE ANY ISSUES WITH UPROFITO?

You will be supported by your world-class support team if you have any problems with the uProfit.

from SPS Reviews https://spsreviews.com/uprofito-review/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=uprofito-review from SPS Reviews https://spsreviews.tumblr.com/post/622449701169610752

[googlenewson]

Europe is gingerly trying to get back to business, with restrictions loosening across the continent as the spread of the coronavirus slows.

The German Spy Museum in Berlin opened its doors for the first time in weeks, bars in central Rome began offering takeaway services, and shaggy-haired Austrians flocked to barbers’ shops in Vienna.

With Italy, Spain, Greece, Portugal and Germany all relaxing some of their restrictions on Monday, Europe is settling down to a new normal as it returns to public life. It’s slower and less dynamic than before, and some restrictions will remain in place for weeks or even months, with face masks—ranging from clinical coverings to brightly colored homemade varieties—a ubiquitous reminder of the changes.

While the moves will ease pressure on economies, the partial reopening means it’s still far from business as usual. Under a “mild” scenario published by the European Central Bank on Friday, the euro-area economy will shrink 5% this year. More severe potential outcomes point to contractions of 8% and 12%, and output may not reach pre-pandemic levels until the end of 2022.

“We will be lucky if we earn a quarter of what we used to,” Stefano Capuzzi said during a short break from serving customers at the Trastevere Bar near the banks of the River Tiber in Rome. Having a coffee means enjoying a quick chat, “not running away with a hot plastic cup,” said the 42-year-old bartender, who nevertheless had sold more than 100 espressos and dozens of pastries in the early morning rush.

After more than 120,000 deaths in Europe, leaders are being careful in opening the economy amid concerns that a new spike in infections will make the crisis longer and deeper.

Austrian Chancellor Sebastian Kurz told Swiss daily newspaper Blick that a second wave is “a realistic scenario” and that the key question is “whether infections can be kept in check regionally and isolate patients quickly.”

For now, most of the data is reassuring. Germany reported the lowest number of new infections and deaths since at least March 30, and Spain’s daily fatalities and new cases hovered at lows last seen before restrictions were introduced in early March. Italy, Europe’s original epicenter, also recorded new cases and deaths that were around initial lockdown lows. France, which begins loosening confinement on May 11, reported more than 300 fatalities for the first time this month.

In Portugal, citizens are finally getting their hair cut as well, with barbers allowed to reopen along with small shops, bookstores and car dealerships. Malls and the largest stores will have to wait until June 1, while restaurants can start serving again on May 18 with capacity limited to 50%. The use of masks is required on public transport and in shops.

In central Athens, Hamosternas—one of the city’s main thoroughfares—showed signs of a gradual return to normality with more traffic than during weeks of lockdown. Customers at hair salons waited on the street rather than on sofas inside, while supermarkets and pharmacies became stricter about social-distancing measures as more people ventured out.

With outbreaks varying by severity and the pace of the openings also differing, the economic impact will be uneven. Germany’s gross domestic product is expected to fall 5.5% this year, according to Bloomberg Economics. In Italy, the shock may lead to a 13% contraction.

Several museums in the German capital are working out how they can minimize the health risks when opening up again. State-run museums including the Neues Museum, home to the famed Nefertiti ancient Egyptian bust, remain closed for now, but a Dali exhibit near Potsdamer Platz and the East Germany-themed DDR Museum near Alexanderplatz opened Monday for the first time since mid-March.

The Spy Museum was handing out free pens to attendees—not for taking notes on the artifacts of Cold War espionage like lipstick cameras and decoding machines—but to reduce the risk of spreading germs when operating touch-screens. Alongside time-slot tickets and glass barriers in front of ticketing personnel, the measures were some of the numerous ways, large and small, the pandemic is changing European life.

In Spain, which has been hit hard by the lockdown’s impact on tourism, traffic was sparse in the neighborhood around Real Madrid’s soccer stadium, with its normally bustling shops and restaurants. As “phase zero” of the government’s easing plan gets under way, some businesses worry about holding on.

At Zapataria Martos, a traditional cobbler in Madrid, Eduardo Martos is fatalistic about his prospects. Business has been in decline because fewer people wear leather shoes, and the crisis may finish off the shop that’s been in his family for 40 years.

“I’m going to give it until 2021 to see if things pick up,” said Martos. “If not, I’ll have to shut up shop and try something else like being an Uber driver.”

Europe’s easing road map

Italy

May 4: Construction, manufacturing to resume; restaurants allowed to offer limited take-away services

May 18: Retailers, museums to reopen

June 1: Bars, restaurants, hair salons to possibly reopen

Schools to remain shut until September

Spain

April 28: Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez announces plans to return to a “new normal” over the next eight weeks, with measures depending on infections and differing by region

May 2: People allowed out for walks and exercise, after children allowed to leave their homes on April 26

May 4: Certain businesses, such as hairdressers, allowed to open nationwide by appointment. Bars and restaurants allowed to serve pre-ordered takeaways; restaurants and bars allowed to serve the public at limited capacity on Formentara in the Mediterranean and three of the Canary Islands in the Atlantic

May 6: Government to seek two-week extension for state of emergency, which currently ends on May 9

Germany

April 20: small shops, hardware stores and car dealerships allowed to reopen

May 4: Partial school reopenings, hairdressers reopen

May 6: Chancellor Merkel, state premiers to discuss possible further easing of curbs

After Aug. 31: large events such as soccer matches, concerts and festivals may be allowed

France

May 11: Official start of gradual end of lockdown

Switzerland

April 27: Hairdressers, garden centers, do-it-yourself stores and tattoo studios reopen

May 11: More retailers resume, as do museums and libraries. Restaurants and sporting facilities may reopen

June 8: Universities may reopen, professional football matches without spectators may be held

Austria

April 14: Small shops, hardware and gardening stores reopened

May 2: Larger stores as well as services like hairdressers resumed

May 15: Places of worships and restaurants reopen

May 18: Most students return in split groups

May 29: Hotels allowed to reopen

Netherlands

May 11: Primary schools will partially reopen, and adolescents can resume group sports under certain conditions

From June 2: Other schools and universities should prepare to open

Sept. 1: Large events, including professional soccer and music festivals, might resume

Belgium

May 4: all wholesale businesses in non-essential industries allowed to reopen physically

May 11: Scheduled reopen date for all retailers, with exception of “contact businesses” such as hairdressers as well as bars and restaurants

May 18: Target date for hairdressers, beauty salons, tattoo studios

Portugal

May 4: Small shops, hairdressers, bookstores and car dealerships can restart

May 18: Restaurants can resume operations, with capacity limited to 50%; museums can reopen

June 1: Larger stores, malls, movie theaters and nurseries can reopen

Greece

May 4: Greeks can leave their homes to get a haircut, buy a book or to visit a church

May 11: Most of the rest of the retail sector reopens

June 1 : Malls can resume operation

Our mission to help you navigate the new normal is fueled by subscribers. To enjoy unlimited access to our journalism, subscribe today.

More coronavirus coverage from Fortune:

—The Rebuild Program: A project to help small businesses reopen amid a pandemic —Saving lives vs. saving the economy is a false tradeoff, economists say —When government fails businesses, communities can step up to help them thrive —Unemployment claims are taking some states weeks to process. What to know —Inside China’s reopening: 7 personal stories of life after lockdown —Gilead’s remdesivir won’t be a COVID-19 miracle cure, but it’s an important first step —Work from home, online grocery shopping, cord cutting: What coronavirus trends will stick —PODCAST: How 2 CEOs outside of health care decided to pivot to fight COVID-19 —WATCH: Fortune’s top 10 heroes of the coronavirus pandemic Subscribe to How To Reopen, Fortune’s weekly newsletter on what it takes to reboot business in the midst of a pandemic

from Fortune https://ift.tt/2zZtHNr

[coolmohnishahluwalia]

How to survive the critical April-June quarter

Never was one quarter so crucial in the life of companies, especially startups who have mostly lived on the VC ventilator. Those who have battled crises in the past tell me  their biggest takeaway: One must survive this quarter to see light at the end of the tunnel

September 2008. Ashish Kashyap, former country manager of Google India, was left with only one choice. A cold-blooded one. “I had to kill to survive,” recalls Kashyap, who had started Goibibo a year back as an incubator. “It was very hard to kill,” confesses the first-generation entrepreneur, who had started to feel the heat of a global financial meltdown. Kashyap, then 33, had started building and incubating multiple lines of businesses such as social gaming, local search businesses, social media, and goibibo was one of the projects. The downturn turned Kashyap’s world upside down. Investors balked, the runway started to deplete at an alarming pace and a team of around 70 looked like an overwhelming army in a losing war. The choice was cruel but simple: Kill.

Kashyap’s ruthless streak—one that he never knew he possessed—came to the fore. First to get slain were his multiple ventures, his “babies”.  All incubator projects, except goibibo, were shut. “We doubled down on goibibo and focussed only on domestic air travel,” he recounts. What he slaughtered next was his “flamboyant” office on the posh Golf Course Road in Gurugram. The office shifted to a nondescript place in the interiors of the city. The rental fell by three-fourths. The army of employees was reduced to a wafer-thin team of eight.

The only option was survival. “At that time, failures were not celebrated,” says Kashyap, who went on to establish a successful travel portal and sold his venture to MakeMyTrip in 2016 in a deal reportedly valued at $1.8 billion. During a crisis, Kashyap underlines, nothing is important except survival and the will to do so. “To survive, one needs the courage of conviction to kill the stuff that you created to survive.”

At the same time in Bengaluru, K Vaitheeswaran, who started Fabmart is 1999, was also planning to turn ‘serial killer’. For online eCommerce brand Indiaplaza, the second venture of Vaitheeswaran, over 70 percent of business came from online loyalty programs run for large financial services companies. The rest came from online B2C retail. “The corporate business was quite profitable,” recalls the pioneer of online eCommerce in India. But there was an elephant in the room that he had conveniently ignored for long. He couldn’t anymore. The corporates used to take 60-90 days to clear their payments. “We were fast running out of cash and had to survive,” he says.

The lucrative corporate business was shut. Headcount was slashed from 75 to 30. And frugality was embraced. “In retrospect, this was a great decision because we were still surviving in 2011 when we managed to raise some venture funds,” says the entrepreneur who co-founded a dairy beverage brand Again Drinks with his Indiaplaza colleague Sandeep Thakran last October. “If I had not killed the large corporate business, we would have long gone home.”

Cut to April 2020, yesterday’s warriors have just one piece of advice for entrepreneurs caught in the pincer grasp of the COVID-19 crisis: Survive the April-June quarter. “Just think about survival,” says Kashyap, who founded wealth management platform INDwealth in June 2018. The ones who manage to last this quarter will have a high chance of winning in the long run. “Remember, Airbnb was born out of a recession,” he says, underlining that Goibibo was also born during a period of turmoil.

As gloom, doom and pessimism engulf the world, including the Indian startup ecosystem, because of the rapid spread of coronavirus, the ‘survivors’ believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. One just needs to hang on.

A crisis is also a time when the tough get going. That is what happened with Anupam Mittal, the founder of shaadi.com, who was an employee with an American company in 2001. “The dot-com bust, though heart-wrenching, was liberating for me,” says Mittal. “It made me realize that I had nothing to lose, and I decided to turn entrepreneur. A crisis also comes with opportunity.”

The first big crunch for Mittal as an entrepreneur came in September 2008, just a few days before Lehman Brothers went bust. By that time, Mittal had already built a battery of ventures—shaadi.com, Mauj Mobile, makaan.com, and a social networking company. The idea was to raise capital and build multiple ventures. A term sheet for funding was ready, the investment was about to happen, and the money was slated to land in the bank in a few days.

“The money never came,” Mittal recalls. The investor-backed out, and shaadi.com was left with a runway of three-four months.

Mittal’s first reaction was of denial. “We can get somebody else to fund us,” he tried reassuring himself. That didn’t happen. Everybody chickened out. The idea of getting funding during a crisis sounded outrageous. When reality struck, it hit like a hammer and extreme measures were taken: Layoffs, shuttering non-profitable ventures and putting a lid on cash burn. “It was painful. But we had to do it. And do it quickly,” says Mittal. Survival became the basic, and the only, instinct. “In hindsight, we were ruthless in how we approached the problem. But we had to,” Mittal tells me. Stress and survival

As the COVID-19 pandemic adds heaps of layers to the already-high-pressured life of an entrepreneur, the ones managing stress better have a better chance at short-term survival and long-term success. “This is a stress test,” avers Vikram Gupta, founder at IvyCap Ventures, a homegrown venture capital (VC) firm with a focus on the consumer, health care, enterprise, and financial technology and emerging technology sectors. The test, he lets on, will measure various things, including the founders’ ability to manage distressed employees, vendor supplies, fixed monthly payments, working capital and above all, their cash flows. The ones who are nimble in cutting costs and finding a sustainable way of doing business over the first quarter of the financial year would come off better than their competitors who may have succumbed to pressure.

The ongoing quarter will lead to the premature death of many startups with high burn rates and those hoping to raise rounds of funding in the coming months. “There will also be substantial disruptions in the business models,” says Gupta, who in March backed Bengaluru-based Internet-of-Things platform Singularity in its pre-series A funding round.

Other entrepreneurs agree. “It will test our ability to survive and rise,” says Akanksha Hazari, founder of m. Paani, a Mumbai-based local retailer digitization platform. The crisis will also test the ability to deliver exponentially more with less, be agile through adversity, and keep people secure and motivated, adds Hazari. Backed by Blume Ventures and Chiratae Ventures, m.Paani reportedly raised $5.5 million in Series A funding last December from a new set of investors.

What the crisis will also permanently change is the definition and perception of growth. “Growth at any cost is no longer sexy or viable,” says Hazari. “Path to revenue and profitability matters much more.”

For the next three months, though, what is crucial is a survival plan, rather than a business plan. Anil Joshi, founder at Unicorn India Ventures offers some quick fixes for entrepreneurs: Be frugal, go for cash deals, don’t get stuck on valuation if you’re looking for funding and stop non-critical activities. “Just focus on survival. That’s it.”

‘Growth’ narrative changes

For many years in India, startups have been built on the narrative of growth, even at the cost of unit economics. “That is already changing dramatically and it will now change even more,” says Rajan Anandan, managing director, Sequoia Capital India. Investors, he adds, would want to see if you’re solving real problems and if you have some level of traction, viable unit economics and how you will manage the next 3-18 months.

Cash flow—being able to run companies—is going to be the only priority for founders as they navigate the next few months. “Startups that don’t have a lot of runways or don't take significant action will be out of business,” warns Anandan.

The annual plan that a founder had a month back is not valid anymore. One needs to think through the scenarios, and then take action for the next several months depending on the industry one is placed in and the runway one has, says Anandan. For the seed-stage startups, there is going to be a much higher focus on businesses that have the potential for a viable economic engine.

The startups facing the maximum brunt would be in segments such as travel, hospitality, and offline retail. “Very few companies can survive two or three months of zero revenue,” he adds.

In spite of the gloom, there is hope and optimism. “Some of the best companies in the history of technology were founded in periods like this,” says Anandan. Though a challenging time, it’s also the time for entrepreneurs to really build muscle and find viable ways of building their business. He points to a few industries that would see strong tailwinds in the current scenario. Online education, online gaming, and entertainment collaboration tools, medical supplies, health, and hygiene products will see accelerated growth. Online groceries, food delivery, and online pharma companies will also see a sharp increase in penetration, especially if they can work with the states to unlock the supply chain and delivery issues. “This will be a tipping point for them,” says Anandan.

It’s also a turning point for VCs who see the crisis as an opportunity.

Scouting for Silver Linings

In Berlin, Germany, Shubhankar Bhattacharya is gearing up to fish in troubled waters. The die-hard ‘pragmatic’ investor, who relocated from Bengaluru in 2018 to join Berlin-based VC firm Fundamental as a partner, reckons uncertain times create an immense opportunity for investors who can spot and value resilient and nimble companies. Judging by the workload over the last two weeks, he tells Forbes India that the firm is excitedly bracing for an extremely intense quarter. “We are eternal optimists who see new opportunities in a market shake-up,” he says, underlining that not all VCs are equal. The contrast, interestingly, has become starker during the present crisis, as Bhattacharya explains his classification of investors.

In the first bucket are funds that are ‘deceased’ or in ‘critical condition’. They are facing a crisis due to the fact that many of the large or prominent investees have seen a dramatic reduction in revenue, market value or possibly even impending death as a result of a drastically shortened runway. Then there is another area of concern: Existing or potential LPs (Limited Partners are those who invest in VC funds) have either withdrawn commitments to invest or are limiting the VC firm's available capital, explains Bhattacharya, whose firm has invested in two Indian startups: Infraprime Logistics Technologies and LocoNav, a fleet management venture. For this group of VCs, the coronavirus has only added stress.

The second kind of investor is ‘panicked’ ones. These funds see a bleak future (at least in the near-term) for most of their portfolio companies and therefore choose to reserve additional cash to "save" their existing investments through follow-on rounds (think of this as "bailout" money). This class of investors to has nothing to do during this crisis.

Then there are investors who actually do nothing. Reason: The markets are quiet and competition isn't stirring at all. ‘Why to put your neck on the line when you can take it easy’ is the guiding philosophy for them. COVID-19 doesn’t mean much to this class. 

The last category belongs to the eternal optimists, who use the additional work-from-home time to buy value stocks, learn new skills and stay healthy. These VCs know that the markets will eventually rebound and realize that companies that are resilient and nimble will recover quickly as competition thins out. This is the time, says Bhattacharya, to spot gritty founders who are building lasting companies and back them at highly attractive valuations. The VC has a word of advice for founders looking to raise money during the COVID-19 pandemic: Identify this last category of optimistic investors. They will back you through tough times and will likely be your strongest critics and allies. “Come talk to us,” he says.

Bhattacharya is not the only one talking to founders and reassuring them of unflinching support during the crisis. Sequoia, the American VC firm also spotted the crisis early and sounded a word of caution and support to its portfolio companies.

In a guidance note sent to founders and CEOs in early March on how to ensure the health of the business, Sequoia maintained an optimistic note. “Could you turn a challenging situation into an opportunity to set yourself up for enduring success,” it asked in its note. Many of the most iconic companies were forged and shaped during difficult times. “We partnered with Cisco shortly after Black Monday in 1987. Google and PayPal soldiered through the aftermath of the dotcom bust,” the note continued, adding that Airbnb, Square, and Stripe were founded in the midst of the global financial crisis.

Asking founders to question every assumption about their business, including cash runway, fundraising, sales forecast, marketing capital spending and headcount, the address highlighted how a crisis is a blessing in disguise. “Constraints focus the mind and provide fertile ground for creativity,” it said, “This might be a time to evaluate critically whether you can do more with less and raise productivity,” the brief pointed out.

The note concludes by dishing out a priceless lesson for jittery entrepreneurs. Having weathered every business downturn for nearly 50 years, the letter addressed to the founders says we’ve learned an important lesson: Nobody ever regrets making fast and decisive adjustments to changing circumstances. In some ways, business mirrors biology. “As [Charles] Darwin surmised, those who survive are not the strongest or the most intelligent, but the most adaptable to change,” it ended on an optimistic note.

Back in Gurugram, Kashyap knows how to survive. It's a simple trick: Blindly follow Darwin. “Adaptation is the key,” he says. Though this time his venture is well-capitalized and doesn’t have any issues of survival, the gritty entrepreneur prefers to err on the side of caution. He will question every rupee spent, cut down on any expense that is not adding value to the company or customers and won’t downsize his team of 90 but will have a hard look at the prospects of adding any new hire. “We had been running the ship very tight,” he says, adding that he has never drawn salary since the day the venture was founded in September 2018.

The most crucial thing for Kashyap is his learnings from his previous stints. This time he has not invested in marketing has brought users to the application through word of mouth and conserved every bit of cash. “The culture of being tight-fisted has worked well for us so far in this crisis.” The biggest learning that today’s entrepreneurs can cling on to, though, is: Ride out the short-term storm, and you may be in clover for life.  #MohnishRANotes

from Blogger https://ift.tt/2UVOIk5 via IFTTT

[vrdeals-co]

This Haptic Suit Lets You Touch and Feel Virtual Reality - Teslasuit

so quite a while ago I got the opportunity to try the Tesla suit at a meet-up in Hamburg Germany and I can tell you it was truly amazing today I'm going to share my story with you of what happened that day and yeah I hope you are going to enjoy it this meetup was organized by the VRA our association it's a global member community that connects businesses with brands and customers they are pretty much trying to bring the VR and AR community closer together by you know doing these meetups it's it's very cool and if you want to be a member too then you can I will make sure there is a link in the description B hello but let's go back to the adventure itself so yeah I booked a session with the Tesla suit folks that for this occasion traveled all the way from Belarus to Germany to give a couple of private demos and I was very eager to try it since I heard many good stories about their haptic clothing many people refer to it as the first ready player one suit and when I heard that I got even more enthusiastic I'm sure you all remember the x1 haptic boot suit right that weight Watts is wearing in the movie it gives him the ability to feel the interaction he has with other avatars in the Oasis and also lets him experience the impact of getting hit honestly you would think that a haptic suit like this wouldn't exist right now RPO is set in the Year 2045 so we have a long way to go but turns out we have already arrived in this era the Tesla suit is very similar to the boot suit because it lets you experience heat and cold but also lets you feel something like getting hit or getting touched by a person it's funny that when I mentioned all of this to the team they were well aware of the fact that all the hype surrounding their product had everything to do with ready player one yes co2 expanse youth and if you if you noticed they the moment where a wildly possible opening the box with X once youth was like very similar render it associated with our all drained us on our like all these prototypes of this you all this privilege yes it's not all this like that it's kind of yeah so yeah there you go that's the answer we were all waiting for but anyways we're traveling a little bit too fast through time because before I could hop into VR I first had to get into one of the suits I had to email them upfront what my size was so they were well prepared on location Tesla suit comes in many sizes from an extra small to an extra extra-large so for everyone out there there is a suit available sadly I only got to wear the vest they do have trousers too you can combine them pretty much with the vest itself and go for a more immersive experience so hopefully later down the road I will be able to try that to the overall comfort level of the vest alone was great by the way my first impressions were that the suit was stretchy enough durable and was properly breeding too although I do have to say that it was a little bit on the heavy side that does make sense since the suit is jam-packed with 60 electro sensors plus it's completely wireless the team told me the battery gives juice for around ten hours and communicates through Bluetooth or Wi-Fi before we could get started they first had to do a test to find out how my body would respond to their te and s system this stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation in other words it gives force feedback to your muscles by using electroshocks the suit can accurately simulate this through 260 haptic channels it has well they were doing all of this they could go as far as taking control over my muscles by using software crazy okay that was a lien trust me but there was even more that they wanted to show me because they were also able to pool in data with the biometry trackers that are built inside the vest with this system they can monitor your emotional state and stress levels but also scan your vitals with life health data such as your heart rate after this quick setup I finally got to go into virtual reality and they had a serious game ready and where I had to escape a building that was on fire and about to collapse at first I was a bit excited and scared too I mean this was this was just right after the moment they showed me that they can control my muscles with software so I was like I don't know what to expect anymore but the adrenaline was pumping for sure I can't share any gameplay footage here since I wasn't able to record the laptop its screen so instead I will just describe what the experience was like so here we go first of all I got thrown into a hallway that was completely filled with smoke I can tell you that I could barely see anything and that's where the tesla suit came in action because while I was standing there people started running around in an attempt to find the exit I could feel them yes I could feel them rushing right past me and I could even sense the speed they were moving in and even how close they were to my physical body that was completely blowing my mind but I had no time to waste I had to find a way to escape before it was too late so navigating with a fission of zero I was able to make my way to a door the moment I grabbed the steel knob of this door I could feel that something was wrong since it gave me a light shock my first response was nope I'm not going in there it's it's just too dangerous but the tesla team told me there was a switch inside that would turn on the power and also the sprinkler system so I had no other choice than to just enter this room that was already swimming in a sea of flames the suit I was wearing here did not use thermal feedback so I didn't feel a sensation of heat but with the newer versions you would be able to sense exactly how close you are to the flames how hot they are and where it's safe to go throughout the entire demo the te NS system was active sometimes I could feel it lightly and sometimes it got more intense but this all depended on what was happening in game but I can confirm that it was physics based it's so strange that you can feel every interaction you are having from you know grabbing the power switch to pressing a bunch of buttons it's impressive that it can let you experience all of this without a pair of pants or gloves although being able to gear yourself up with a complete package wouldn't be a bad thing so yeah I turned on the sprinkler system and then I started to feel the water hitting me at that moment I really thought I was getting wet I'm not joking little drips big ones I could indentify them all and with the terminal feedback system you would even be able to feel the transition of going from hot to cold or even a mix of the two finally the smoke disappeared and I was able to walk through the hallway without having to use the walls for guidance the last challenge I had to face was crouching under a part of the ceiling that was still on fire while I ducked under it I could sense that it was about to collapse and the flames that were coming off this ceiling slowly came more and more to life again super realistic and accurate it really made me hurry up in a way where I thought there was danger coming closer and closer the moment I took off that hat said I realized that haptic suits are going to be the future and that ready player one is slowly becoming a reality this was definitely one of the most awesome things I tried so far I just love how physical your adventures in VR can become with a haptic suit like that after the VR a our meetup was over I got told that the Tesla suit can also be used for motion tracking and that if you want to you can wash it by simply pulling out the power bank and that's where I'm going to end today's video I'm sure a lot of you now want to buy a suit like that and you are wondering how much it is well if you want to know its price you gotta go to the Tesla suit website and ask for a quote but you can only do that when you are running a business at this very moment this haptic suit is for enterprises only it's mainly getting used in healthcare and military sector it's for training purposes don't worry though there is still hope because haptic suits like the one I tried are going to come to the consumer market they will make their way to the gamers out there but for now it's too early it's not the right time just yet so let's say you are interested in this in this Tesla suit make sure to you know check out the website there is a bunch of information on there and you can also find locations where the Tesla suit is getting demoed because the team is traveling around the world to preach the potential of haptic suits and that's where I'm going to end today's video I want to thank you all for watching and now it's time for me to sign up and as I always say and I see a guys next time see you in the metaphors imagine that in the near future you can go to a virtual store and buy a haptic suit there and moments later it arrives on your doorstep in real life stay tuned

  https://youtu.be/OEMa2-IVfyw

[vrsdeals-com]

This Haptic Suit Lets You Touch and Feel Virtual Reality - Teslasuit

so quite a while ago I got the opportunity to try the Tesla suit at a meet-up in Hamburg Germany and I can tell you it was truly amazing today I'm going to share my story with you of what happened that day and yeah I hope you are going to enjoy it this meetup was organized by the VRA our association it's a global member community that connects businesses with brands and customers they are pretty much trying to bring the VR and AR community closer together by you know doing these meetups it's it's very cool and if you want to be a member too then you can I will make sure there is a link in the description B hello but let's go back to the adventure itself so yeah I booked a session with the Tesla suit folks that for this occasion traveled all the way from Belarus to Germany to give a couple of private demos and I was very eager to try it since I heard many good stories about their haptic clothing many people refer to it as the first ready player one suit and when I heard that I got even more enthusiastic I'm sure you all remember the x1 haptic boot suit right that weight Watts is wearing in the movie it gives him the ability to feel the interaction he has with other avatars in the Oasis and also lets him experience the impact of getting hit honestly you would think that a haptic suit like this wouldn't exist right now RPO is set in the Year 2045 so we have a long way to go but turns out we have already arrived in this era the Tesla suit is very similar to the boot suit because it lets you experience heat and cold but also lets you feel something like getting hit or getting touched by a person it's funny that when I mentioned all of this to the team they were well aware of the fact that all the hype surrounding their product had everything to do with ready player one yes co2 expanse youth and if you if you noticed they the moment where a wildly possible opening the box with X once youth was like very similar render it associated with our all drained us on our like all these prototypes of this you all this privilege yes it's not all this like that it's kind of yeah so yeah there you go that's the answer we were all waiting for but anyways we're traveling a little bit too fast through time because before I could hop into VR I first had to get into one of the suits I had to email them upfront what my size was so they were well prepared on location Tesla suit comes in many sizes from an extra small to an extra extra-large so for everyone out there there is a suit available sadly I only got to wear the vest they do have trousers too you can combine them pretty much with the vest itself and go for a more immersive experience so hopefully later down the road I will be able to try that to the overall comfort level of the vest alone was great by the way my first impressions were that the suit was stretchy enough durable and was properly breeding too although I do have to say that it was a little bit on the heavy side that does make sense since the suit is jam-packed with 60 electro sensors plus it's completely wireless the team told me the battery gives juice for around ten hours and communicates through Bluetooth or Wi-Fi before we could get started they first had to do a test to find out how my body would respond to their te and s system this stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation in other words it gives force feedback to your muscles by using electroshocks the suit can accurately simulate this through 260 haptic channels it has well they were doing all of this they could go as far as taking control over my muscles by using software crazy okay that was a lien trust me but there was even more that they wanted to show me because they were also able to pool in data with the biometry trackers that are built inside the vest with this system they can monitor your emotional state and stress levels but also scan your vitals with life health data such as your heart rate after this quick setup I finally got to go into virtual reality and they had a serious game ready and where I had to escape a building that was on fire and about to collapse at first I was a bit excited and scared too I mean this was this was just right after the moment they showed me that they can control my muscles with software so I was like I don't know what to expect anymore but the adrenaline was pumping for sure I can't share any gameplay footage here since I wasn't able to record the laptop its screen so instead I will just describe what the experience was like so here we go first of all I got thrown into a hallway that was completely filled with smoke I can tell you that I could barely see anything and that's where the tesla suit came in action because while I was standing there people started running around in an attempt to find the exit I could feel them yes I could feel them rushing right past me and I could even sense the speed they were moving in and even how close they were to my physical body that was completely blowing my mind but I had no time to waste I had to find a way to escape before it was too late so navigating with a fission of zero I was able to make my way to a door the moment I grabbed the steel knob of this door I could feel that something was wrong since it gave me a light shock my first response was nope I'm not going in there it's it's just too dangerous but the tesla team told me there was a switch inside that would turn on the power and also the sprinkler system so I had no other choice than to just enter this room that was already swimming in a sea of flames the suit I was wearing here did not use thermal feedback so I didn't feel a sensation of heat but with the newer versions you would be able to sense exactly how close you are to the flames how hot they are and where it's safe to go throughout the entire demo the te NS system was active sometimes I could feel it lightly and sometimes it got more intense but this all depended on what was happening in game but I can confirm that it was physics based it's so strange that you can feel every interaction you are having from you know grabbing the power switch to pressing a bunch of buttons it's impressive that it can let you experience all of this without a pair of pants or gloves although being able to gear yourself up with a complete package wouldn't be a bad thing so yeah I turned on the sprinkler system and then I started to feel the water hitting me at that moment I really thought I was getting wet I'm not joking little drips big ones I could indentify them all and with the terminal feedback system you would even be able to feel the transition of going from hot to cold or even a mix of the two finally the smoke disappeared and I was able to walk through the hallway without having to use the walls for guidance the last challenge I had to face was crouching under a part of the ceiling that was still on fire while I ducked under it I could sense that it was about to collapse and the flames that were coming off this ceiling slowly came more and more to life again super realistic and accurate it really made me hurry up in a way where I thought there was danger coming closer and closer the moment I took off that hat said I realized that haptic suits are going to be the future and that ready player one is slowly becoming a reality this was definitely one of the most awesome things I tried so far I just love how physical your adventures in VR can become with a haptic suit like that after the VR a our meetup was over I got told that the Tesla suit can also be used for motion tracking and that if you want to you can wash it by simply pulling out the power bank and that's where I'm going to end today's video I'm sure a lot of you now want to buy a suit like that and you are wondering how much it is well if you want to know its price you gotta go to the Tesla suit website and ask for a quote but you can only do that when you are running a business at this very moment this haptic suit is for enterprises only it's mainly getting used in healthcare and military sector it's for training purposes don't worry though there is still hope because haptic suits like the one I tried are going to come to the consumer market they will make their way to the gamers out there but for now it's too early it's not the right time just yet so let's say you are interested in this in this Tesla suit make sure to you know check out the website there is a bunch of information on there and you can also find locations where the Tesla suit is getting demoed because the team is traveling around the world to preach the potential of haptic suits and that's where I'm going to end today's video I want to thank you all for watching and now it's time for me to sign up and as I always say and I see a guys next time see you in the metaphors imagine that in the near future you can go to a virtual store and buy a haptic suit there and moments later it arrives on your doorstep in real life stay tuned

  https://youtu.be/OEMa2-IVfyw