#Guy goes from someone who doesn’t care about his own or other people’s needs bc he’s too busy seeking revenge

[mvltisstuff]

boyfriends - e.b

summary: after dealing with her boyfriend for years, she finally decides to end things with help from buck.

evan buckley x reader

based on the song boyfriends by harry styles :))

a/n: guys i’m on s5 and what the duck is happening. also pretend ravi has been there for longer bc i literally love him

the table was set with thin candles and ceramic plates under a maroon tablecloth. there were light rain noises coming from outside, calming the room with the dim lights. the aroma of homemade pasta and white wine was filling the room. dressed in her neat jean skirt and black top, y/n sat in one of the chairs at the table.

the door unlocked and swung open with an aggressive stomping coming in with a swaying man. “hey, princess! sorry i’m late i was just busy.” slurring his words together, he walks over as she stands up.

“i thought you were at work.” she states, quietly. she’s confused as he should smell like an office, but instead radiates a busy bar and whisky.

“oh, the guys wanted to go out, sorry about dinner,” he says, slumping on the couch.

“i planned this whole thing, cam. you really couldn’t blow them off for one night?”

“it was just dinner! it’s not like we didn’t have food here.”

“yeah, food for us, that i made for you!” she starts getting annoyed but it’s impossible to argue with a drunk person. “it’s fine, i’ll just take it to work.” clearly annoyed, she pulls the plates out and clears them off into tupperware.

“well don’t be pissed at me because i wanted to hang out with the boys,” he says, his words barely making sense. she doesn’t fight back, knowing he won’t even remember this in the morning.

“go to bed, cameron.” y/n says, before entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

————————————————————————

dressing for work, y/n wakes up to throw on her uniform. she gathers her things to prepare for another long shift at the 118, and she notices his keys gone, along with his work belongings.

she walks out the door after grabbing the leftovers she had spent hours preparing for someone who spent hours not caring. she walks into the station to be greeted by her real family.

“hey, y/n!” eddie says, organizing one of the trucks with buck.

buck gives her a sweet smile, noticing the abnormal lack of excitement on her face. she walks over and talks to them a bit, drained of energy but still ready to force herself through the day.

as much as she didn’t want to leave her apartment, being at the station felt more of a warm welcome. stepping in through the garage doors, the cold air from her apartment and life outside had evaporated.

the team goes upstairs to the kitchen, as bobby is making coffee for everyone. y/n leaves her extra food on the counter to show people.

“what’s all this from, y/n?” bobby asks. “you didn’t have to bring this.”

“oh, it’s just my l-“ she cuts herself off. “i made this to bring to you guys. i made the pasta myself.”

“it’s delicious!” buck says, a mouthful of pasta and covering his mouth. he tries to lighten her mood after seeing directly through her lies.

he had met cameron before, never really being a fan of him. she’d brought him to one of the gatherings, and he spent the whole time ignoring her existence, and then getting mad at her for being upset. he knew she deserved better, and honestly, he thought, she deserves him. he wanted to help her, but didn’t want to cross the line and help where he wasn’t needed.

“really, buck? couldn’t even heat it up?” hen asks, slightly disappointed but expecting nothing else from him.

they all walk away back to their own chores around the station, as bobby stays in the kitchen. “hey, y/n!” buck runs up behind her.

“yeah? you ok?”

“that’s… kinda my question to you.” he stutters a bit. “it’s just- just wanna make sure everything’s okay, you don’t seem as… bright and bubbly as normal.”

buck and y/n had been friends for a long time, knowing how each other felt all the time. they were able to connect with one another so easily, and buck knew that something was wrong with her. he missed her happy mood, that seemed to have faded away more with every shift.

“oh, i’m fine, buck.” she smiles. “it’s just been a lot of work and sleeping, and repeat.”

she lies to him again about cameron, even though he knows the truth. “y/n/n, come on. don’t lie to me.”

“what?” she peeps out.

“talk to me, please.” he begs her to open up because he just wants to make her feel better. “is it cam?”

“n-no, buck. stop, it’s fine.”

that answer alone told him everything he needed to know. he doesn’t know all the details of their relationship, but it’s almost like cam pretends they aren’t even in one.

y/n doesn’t know why she defends him so much, or why she sticks up with it. she’s hoped things will change for a while, but usually nothing looks up. she loves him, she does. at least she thinks so. she provides so much for both of them, and has put in so much energy to their relationship, only for broken promises in return. she has hope that the time she’s put in was worth it, but every day when she goes home to him it becomes weaker. being a first responder, she wants to help everyone she can. she wants to be able to fix their relationship and she wants to feel valued, for once. people tell her all the time how she saved them, and she so badly wants him to realize that everyone needs to be saved. she’s given him the world, and it’s not long before she takes it all back.

“i know it’s not. i’m here for you, and if he’s not good to you i’m gonna be-“

“buck, just drop it! i’m doing the best i can!” her voice raises in defense, and he pulls her into the locker rooms. “im drained from this relationship, right now and i cannot get into this with you right now. this is my only escape, evan.” her light tears form in her eyes before her breathing becomes sharper. the other workers look at them, but with death stares from hen, chimney, and eddie they look away. they’re listening too, they never really liked him either but figured it was none of their business. it hurts to see their friend in this situation.

“i know, it’s gonna be ok.” he pulls her into a hug in hopes to calm her down. “you didn’t make that for us, didn’t you?”

“no, i made it for him. then he came home completely wasted and told me not to make a big deal out of it. i spent my one day off making this big ass dinner for him, and he couldn’t even take a minute to say thank you.”

“look at me, y/n.” buck pulls away and places his hands on your shoulders. “it is not your fault he’s not good enough for you. he is not. good. enough.”

“no,” she whispers.

“yes,” he says. “you deserve better than what he’s giving you.”

she shakes her head and his heart breaks more. there is no way that he has given her so much shit that she doesn’t believe it’s his own fault. the tears come stronger and run down her damp cheeks. “i can’t just leave him, buck. i cant hurt him like that because some part of me still loves him.”

“i know, but it is for the better.”

“i don’t think i have the power to end things. he wouldn’t listen to me and i can’t bring myself to break his heart.” she cries.

“you need to leave him before he breaks yours any more than it already is.” y/n calls back into his chest, and he sits her down on the benches. his own eyes are becoming glossy at the pain of watching his best friend have to deal with this. he’s had his own fair share of bad relationships, but they never meant anything because he is scared of this happening. it hurts his heart to know that she’s been carrying herself through this relationship as he’s just been more weight on her shoulders.

————————————————————————

the door of the apartment swings open again, as usually. surprisingly, the smell of liquor doesn’t hit y/n’s nose. cameron walks in, placing his bags on the floor by the door. “y/n?”

“y/n? where are you?” he calls out again and she makes her way out of the bedroom. “hey, you. did you make dinner?”

“no.” she says, maintaining eye contact.

“o-oh? we don’t have leftovers?”

“no, cameron. i took them to the station.” she says. “you would remember i told you that, but you were too drunk to remember.”

“what are you talking about, y/n? i went out for drinks, i don’t know why you have to be so bitchy about it.” she’s made her decision to leave, but the names still sting inside.

“well, you don’t have to deal with it anymore.”

“what the hell is that supposed to mean? youre not actually leaving me.” he let’s out a patronizing chuckle at her words, but she stands her ground.

“i am leaving you, cameron. my stuff is in my car, and we are over.” she doesn’t move from her spot on the ground, scared to move her glued feet like she’d fall over.

he laughs again with a critical grin on his face, again. “and where do you think you’ll go? i pay for this apartment, i pay the bills. you have nothing without me. y/n.”

“i work at the best fire station with the highest ranking paramedics and firefighters out there.” she retorts back. “i’ll be just fine without you, hell, i practically have been for the past two years.”

“you’re embarrassing yourself, baby girl.” y/n’s expression scrunches up from the cringe of the pet name that she’s always hated.

“don’t ever call me that again.”

“you have no where to go, you can’t stay at your stupid job forever.” he takes a step closer, and she takes another one back.

“actually, she’s going to stay with me until she can find an apartment.” buck says, coming around the corner, sensing her fear.

cam rubs his face. “y/n, please. we can do this together. you know i love you.” his immediate switches in mood is what she can’t control anymore, and she can no longer deal with it.

“some version of me out there still loves you back, and i feel insane amounts of nothing but pity for her.” y/n spits out at him.

“you’re a fucking psycho,” he says, and buck runs over to create more distance, standing between the two. y/n turns around, running her hands through her hair, trying to disappear.

“we’re leaving, y/n/n.” buck says, gripping your waist. “let’s go.”

“fuck, whatever. get the hell out.” cameron finally moves to the side and y/n and buck walk out of y/n’s old ‘home’ for the last time.

they stand outside in the parking lot, standing side by side as a speechless y/n stares in the distance. “i won’t stay for too long, i’ve found a few nice apartments to look at.”

“don’t worry about anything, y/n. you can stay there forever if it means you’re not there anymore.”

being faced with this much kindness and loving actions overwhelms her, making even more tears that she didn’t know she had pool in her eyes. “don’t cry, please. it’s ok, i’m here.” he pulls her back in and pats the back of her hair. “why don’t you drive over to my place, i’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

they go their separate ways and start driving to his nice apartment and already, it feels more like home than hers ever did.

buck pulls out his phone in the parking lot, in his car. he dials a few numbers and pulls the phone to his ear.

“hey, maddie. you busy tonight?”

————————————————————————

going up the stairs, y/n only had the energy to bring in a single bag to his apartment tonight. they walk side by side to his door together, his arm around her shoulders. buck fumbles with his keys and looks at her red, worn out eyes.

when he unlocks the door, y/n immediately notices all her family around bucks kitchen. she places her eyes on everyone, bobby and athena, hen, ravi, chimney and maddie, even christopher and eddie are there. “hey, y/l/n, welcome home.” athena is the first to say. and for the first time of the night, a fixed smile shines through her.

“hi guys, you all crowded in here?”

“thanks to this one, we wanted to be here for you, y/n.” hen says, pointing to buck.

“you did this?” she asks, sweetly, as if they all had just wrapped her hurt heart with the bandages of their love.

“i guess you could say that.” buck smiles, not wanting to take credit, but happy that he’s finally put some light in her mind.

“y/n, come over here and show us how you made that pasta.” bobby says, calling her over to start making dinner. “maddies going to start a salad.”

“ooh! i can make margaritas!” buck exclaims, excitedly.

“um, i can get behind that!” chim says.

everyone gathered around the kitchen, y/n notices her family all around, taking in the love they’ve given her. they would never have to take the time out of their day to come hang out in bucks tiny apartment if they didn’t truly care about her.

after a while, only buck and her remain in the kitchen. as everyone else squeezes into his living room, some people literally sitting on top of each other.

“hey, i don’t know how to thank you for all of this.”

“you don’t have to thank me for anything. this,” buck says, looking around the room. “is what you’ve deserved. and i will do anything to make sure you know that.”

they keep their eyes together, feeling everything from the day come down on them. both of them have their fears, but they seem to fade away and they forget about everyone else. realizing how much he really cares about her has changed everything for her. she loves buck more than she would ever have been able to love cameron. she reaches up impulsively, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him in. she gives him a deep kiss and buck swears he’s levitating off the ground. his heart is on fire, waiting for this moment since they met. he didn’t expect anything in return, but he will say that this is a pretty nice reward.

buck leans back and shines a toothy grin at her, and she giggles. “you are very welcome.” he says, barely being able to get words out from his happiness.

they look over after hearing tiny giggles in the room. they both look over simultaneously, seeing christopher with an adorable, shining smile at them. he’s covering his mouth, but failing to conceal himself. “hi, christopher.” buck says.

“hi, buck! hi y/n!” he says, still not being able to wipe the smile away.

back in the living room, with maddies legs draped over him, chimney says to hen with a smirk, “and just like that, i am 20 dollars richer.”

“oh come on, chim, we all knew it was bound to happen.” hen laughs and they welcome y/n and buck back over.

[chocolatecakeandbl]

Prapai’s Past - Character Study with Headcanons

Out of the blue, we had a very interesting convo yesterday at the server. It started with ‘Prapai’s happiness’ and turned into ‘What might have happened in Prapai’s past?’ 

A lot of headcanons came up, halfway turned into a deep character study we want to share with everyone. 

Buckle yourself in, get a drink. This will take some time :3 

A short Prapai Character Study

We often joke about Prapai being empty-headed about anything that is not Sky and Sky's body, but we never think of him as just a dopey guy. He has to be brilliant at his job. His father wouldn't have made him CEO if he were an idiot. He has brilliant emotional intelligence. He just plays the smiley fuckboi, because that's what people expect him to be.

Prapai the CEO. 

The amount of burden he has to carry on his shoulders must be beyond imagination. 

The pressure? The expectations? 

Prapai’s family seems to be supportive, but they still loaded expectations upon expectations on him.  

Prapai the family anchor.

The boy raised his siblings, said so himself. How fast has he had to grow up? How old was he when he lost his childhood?

Where was Pai's mother in this? Why did the responsibility for his siblings fall on Pai? Why not someone else? They are rich. They could have had help. Nannys? Other family members? Literally anyone but Pai? So why Pai?

A possible headcanon:

Pai's mom was there when Phan and Plerng were still small, but when they got older, it fell on Pai. Largely because Pai was always present and wanted to take care of them, loved them more than himself - that's how this boy is, really. In the end, Pai was too protective to let someone else care for them?

In a way, if looked for deep enough, it becomes tragic. Why? Because he had the money for a place to live, all the food and stuff he might have wanted. But he was too young to carry the responsibility of a family, and it led him to make hard choices.

Prapai, the man behind the mask.

Prapai is incredibly intense in whatever he does.

He was given a lot of responsibility since a young age, not only from his parents because his dad most likely already had the intention for him to become CEO the moment he was born, but also because he cared for his siblings the way he did. It might have ended up coming naturally to him, not only because he IS loving like that, but because he's been slowly put into a position of "taking care of things", whatever those may be. Started off as helping out his brother with a bruise, ended up in making deals and ensuring the status of the company.

On the other side, we see what happens IF Pai stops wearing that mask of smiles, and his charming sunny boy self. It's been a thing when Sky cut him off. But what really got us was the way he looked when he got up to repay Gun’s efforts.  

There wasn’t a trace of a smile. Prapai’s eyes were intense, focused. His stance was tall, grand, room filling. Someone hurt the man who is his heart? His life? 

This is the moment the mask falls completely. What we find is an intense Prapai. A protective Prapai. A Prapai who doesn’t fear to keep those safe he wants to have safe no matter what it costs.

This Pai is the real Pai. 

Why the smiles?

If you have no idea why he keeps smiling and being the sunny boy, it's easy to say that he just is like that because he never had to worry about anything. He's from a rich family. He had his future set out. He's pretty. 

But what does it need to be a young CEO? 

That is what many underestimate. How there's ALWAYS people telling you how you are too young for the job, that there's no way the company survives under your hands. That you only got the position bc of X instead of your own hard work. If you leash out, it's all over. Everyone goes "Told you. He's not made for the position." So what is left? Smile. Be charming. Maybe add a bit of puppy eyes and acting innocent because it always helps. We all see it at Pai. We hc he not only got hurt relationship wise, but also has to take slights on an everyday base. He has a way to cope with it, but it's a thing many people choose to not see.

Inevitable questions we never got answers to:

Why was Prapai ‘raised’ by his uncle?

Why did he end up having to raise his siblings?

Where had his parents been? 

Why had he had to take over the company at such a young age? 

Prapai as a teenager

Prapai wearing his heart on his sleeve is so true and we can only imagine a much younger Prapai, being his lovely golden retriever self trying to give someone his heart, only for it to be stomped on. How long he might’ve been a ‘kicked puppy’, who decided that all smiles, swaggering fuckboi was the mask he needed to wear from then on?

What if this is what happened? Teenage Prapai who lost his heart to someone only to have it crashed...

What made him into the 'fuckboi' we got to know? Did he sit down, over his broken heart, seeing the sadness in his eyes in the mirror, and go "No one will ever get to know about it?" only to adapt a "Single life is best." attitude we saw he had (and conveyed to his siblings)?

What if he tried again, got shot down again, then realized people only wanted him for one thing. 

OR.... Maybe he overheard someone talking about him. Young Pai, pondering on whatever he's pondering on, maybe he's in school or college, he overhears a conversation about him, and as he's about to walk in and say hi, he hears himself described in ways that break his heart.

It's hard to believe he just chose “Single life is the best!” out of the blue and that he always wanted the "single heartthrob" vibe for himself. Prapai is TOO lovely to simply be a player. 

He didn’t go through a trauma like Sky went through, but he might have gone through a period of time with someone whom he cared for a lot but who didn't treat him the way he deserved. "Why should I even give my heart to anyone if people just use it however they'd like?"

Considering he was raised to care for everything, he wouldn't just go around "fucking and finding out".

What if we go deeper into this headcanon? 

What if he tried relationships? 

He freaking tried but got so badly hurt he decided he’s either not worth it or everyone is the same so there’s no point in trying. In high school, or while in UK. Being cheated on, being used for money, being a game in someone’s bet (I dare you to get into Pai’s pants and make him head over heels for you kind of bet). A different hurt from Sky’s, but still one creating a huge scar in his heart. 

So many people just go for looks.

And Pai fits in that part. Not only does he come from a monetary background, and social status, but he has the looks as well. 

He is a charming boy, it's hard to not want him. 

Maybe he's how he is because he got hurt. He got used. And to avoid it happening again, he opened a playground where he could live out the frustration his life inevitably brings, while at the same time getting that tad bit of intimacy (aka bedroom activities) keeping him sated enough to go through daily life. 

We think Pai is someone, who IF he had a relationship before, got cut off because he is very caring. And so many out there just aren't able to cope with it. Too many feelings. Too much care. Too much focus. 

It’s easily overwhelming for too many. 

Prapai’s Happiness

We often talk about how Pai made Sky happy, made him feel safe, but we talk way too little about how Sky taught Pai to be happy and showed him that happiness in a relationship is a thing too. Before Sky, Prapai had no idea how real relationships work. He didn’t know the joy that came from it, nor that slightly different feeling of support and feeling home. 

Now, Sky showed him what real, genuine romantic love is, what does it mean to hold someone in your arms feeling content simply because that person is next to you and you can hug them. 

That your love’s happiness is often your happiness. 

Sky showed him that fuzzy warm feeling. He rid him of loneliness and gave Pai stability. The way that boy smiles in EP11 after the NC, when he holds Sky in his arms, and in EP13 when he peppers him with all the kisses?

It’s a totally different smile from all the smiles he showed us before. His eyes sparkle with unconfined joy. 

We think Pai never experienced something like this before. 

It’s proven by how often Prapai says something along the lines of "I've never done this before, you know?" And how it's a sign of the journey of discovery he's in. 

He's finding out all of these new things in his first ever relationship. 

He wants to share them with Sky. And since he's an eager puppy, he’s all happily going "Look! I did this for the first time!" 

In turn for Sky, who has been in a relationship before, but was not cared for during it, all of Prapai's discoveries are discoveries for himself too. He's finding out what real love is like. 

Prapai: You know, I've never cleaned up someone before. 

Sky: You know, no one has ever done this for me before.

They discover and learn together. 

Sky teaches Prapai how a true relationship should look like - the boy isn’t even aware he does, he’s just being himself, but with his feelings for Prapai it’s inevitable. The love he offers Prapai is the guide. 

Prapai teaches Sky how to be happy again, how to love again, how to not be afraid again. 

But who said Prapai isn’t scared himself? The man has all the love to give, he’s a natural caretaker. He’s been born to give. 

But with it comes the inevitable danger of being used. Sky doesn’t use Pai. And maybe, this is the whole point.  

Prapai and Sky

It says a lot that Prapai waited for 3 months before actively going to PhayuRain's place one day to get a hold of Sky’s number. We see he tried before, but got interrupted. But if we go deeper, if Pai would have REALLY wanted Sky's number, he could have gotten it before. He waited 3 months to get it. And we think that's the cue. He'd been debating with himself for weeks, because he couldn't get Sky out of his mind. He couldn't sleep with others anymore because it just didn't bring any joy anymore. It felt wrong. It's safe to say the three times he slept with someone might have happened within a week after he met Sky (because let’s be honest, Pai is on the active side when it's about sex. He doesn't need to wait) It took him approx, a week to realise he wants Sky, and no one else when it's about sexual pleasure. It took him 3 months (!!) to really make up his mind and for SURE get Sky's number. We think this is what says it all. 

If he hadn't been burned before, he wouldn't have waited that long. He could have gotten Sky's number before through Phayu or Rain. He could have tried to get another night with Sky. Just sex. GREAT sex, but after all, only sex. But no. He decided to ponder over Sky, kept replaying their time. A clear sign he's debating with himself. Should he? Should he not? Pai is a smart boy. Yet, he went to Saifah, “Hey, what's the meaning if I can't stop thinking about him?" A question he could easily answer himself. He got the validation he searched for through Saifah, and promptly went ahead with a plan he surely had in mind for a while.

All the scenes we didn't see, but would have been highly interesting, would have clued us in. 

Aka the drive from the university to Sky's apartment, when Pai "picked up" Sky the first time.What did they do during the drive? Did they talk? Did Pai steal glances?

Another key scene for us is when Sky falls into the memory right in front of Pai before they got breakfast. 

Cards on the table.. 

Who would be able to make sense of the retreat from Sky, who hadn't been hurt before?  

Pai sees the hurt. And for someone to be able to see the hurt, the one must have experienced hurt before. 

He reacts perfectly that moment. He draws Sky out of the building to get food (bc we all know food can help immensely in such a situation bc it changes the body reaction) I don't think anyone would do it/see it, who doesn't have any experience with it.

Again, in summary, and I can’t stress enough about it: Who’d do that if they didn’t know what being hurt feels like?

What does it NEED for someone to see it in someone else? And how much MORE does it need for someone to go "How can I help you?" after recognizing the hurt in the other?

Prapai was genuinely concerned. He dropped all his smiles and playboy-ish ways immediately. All masks fell. 

Another instance is the boardroom scene. 

Excuse me if we go a bit off course for a moment, but there is literally no other way to word it:

The boardroom behind the scenes was very telling.

How Fort and Peat remain in their position on top of the table, not just because they're doing a scene, but we think deep down Fort is caging Peat with his body, he can easily just wrap himself on top of him to protect him if needed. And we think it's something he shows in Prapai too.

When did Pai fall for Sky?

Hard to say. We can’t possibly know. But what we know is:

When Sky kept pushing Prapai away and not falling for his charms/money/sex, Prapai might have hoped that maybe this time risking his heart to love again would not be a bad idea. And maybe this time this "cold" person might be exactly who he's been looking for all this time.

Prapai saw in Sky his own façade. To be a playboy, you also need to play a role. Sky was the ice prince, Prapai was all smiles and charm, but in some of his interactions he's also straight up sassy and cold. We think he definitely did his fair share of "this means nothing, it's sex, just take what you want and leave me be" like Sky did to him. 

It is an instant connection?

--

This study is a collab of @fortpeat (who also did ALL the work with the screencaps *smooches*) and @moriano and @akitbeast and @bird-inacage and @mb-praiskyfortpeat and ofc me :3

[pansy-picnics]

Sorry but your recent artwork has me thinking about parent Varigo and I have to dump my thoughts somewhere. I feel like, if they actually had a kid it would be really emotional for them but in different ways. Varian finds out he’s pregnant and is a little scared at first, but he actually adjusts to the idea pretty fast and is excited about it, because he’s in a good place now and has a good support system. He doesn’t have to worry about his family judging him, he knows they’ll still see him for who he is. Hugo on the other hand is terrified. But not because he doesn’t wanna be a dad, he’s pretty excited about that, he’s just really scared that Varian is going to get sick from the pregnancy, or that the whole experience is gonna be too much for him. He feels like this is just another thing he’s “putting Varian through” because he’s still not quite over the guilt of his betrayal years ago, and now it’s coming back to haunt him. They work it out of course and Hugo realizes that it’s gonna be okay and that he also can depend on Varian’s family for support because they’re his family too. Now I’m emotional. Anyway I love your art <3

AUGHHHH YEAH YEAH THIS IS SO REAL!!!!! i love plots like that fr, their characters are so fun to explore😭😭😭 Honestly? i think in the right circumstances hugo could be a deadbeat dad. like he could just straight up leave bc he’s paranoid varian or the kid would get hurt or he’d put them in danger or something. he’s the kind of guy who’s always Running! like i could think of scenarios where he’d run away on their wedding day too. those are both horrible extremes SORRY FOR THE ANGST I JUST THINK IT’S NEAT.

i think hugo’s always WANTED a family but its something she’s always viewed as unachievable, mostly bc of the shitty living situation hes been in for most of his life. she could barely survive on her own and she’d never want to drag someone else into that yk? and she’s still scared of that commitment even after she moves into the castle, bc what if she DID have a kid and then something happened and she couldn’t take care of them anymore, or she ends up on the streets again….and what if she just ends up abandoning them? what if she’s no better than the parents she never even knew? it’s like, obviously she wouldn’t do any of those things or be in those situations but she has….a Lot of anxiety around it for sure. but i also think that she tries to adopt literally every orphan she and varian see. she LOVES kids as much as she pretends she doesn’t and its very obvious….she just hasn’t really had the privilege to be able to think about it until now.

varian…i think he goes either way, he doesn’t really plan to have kids but he’ll kinda learn to adjust to whatever, he’s also just a very family oriented guy so he’s definitely not opposed to that kind of role. in my head they usually adopt bc i think varian like, Hates anything related to the human body at all so even disregarding the gender dysphoria pregnancy is SO gross to him. idk why i just think he’s silly like that. hell make bombs and poisonous chemicals but he remembers people have organs and he wants to throw up. i’m not opposed to the idea of them having biological kids at all though…especially considering all the art i’ve already drawn for it’s us against the world LOL. personally i think even if he weren’t opposed to the idea he’d be miserable the entire time, and not even like in a serious way necessarily he’s just REALLY mad that he can’t work in the lab anymore. he’s pissed about EVERYTHING, actually. he’s bored and he’s tired and he can’t work and he feels like shit and he doesn’t really have any other hobbies either. his whole life and routine has been completely fucked over for nine months and SURE he loves the kid and he’s excited but like why does it need to be in there that long. why can’t it just come from the stork or something. 🙄/j

i think he might pick a few fights with hugo bc of it, just because he’s so overwhelmed and emotional and doesn’t know how to handle it, but hugo’s really understanding; also they’ll honestly take any kind of treatment from him because they’re like, “Yeah i probably deserved that”. which varian does NOT like btw and always gets on his ass later to stick up for himself more while also in tears apologizing for yelling at him

idk i just think them as parents would be Sooo silly. neither of them have any clue what they’re doing. dude if those two had a baby? Dude can you imagine? varian’s sooo fucking sheltered i think he’s only interacted with like, 2 babies in his entire life. quirin stays with them for tje first few weeks bc varian literally just has NO clue what he’s doing and is crying to him all the time. and hugo like, has an idea of what to do but he’s also SUPER paranoid. they’re both just staring at the kid while they sleep not so much out of adoration but because they’re just terrified they’ll stop breathing at any moment. you cant convince me that either of them know how to change a diaper. They’re gonna bring out like full lab gear. like the gag where the dads will pull out full hazmat suits for the diaper change. That’s them idc

ruddiger is also SO protective of their kids from the moment they’re born, like he jumps up into the crib and snuggles up with them and they always IMMEDIATELY stop crying. olivia is the opposite. she’s kinda like a toddler who just got a new sibling she didn’t want. shes pissed that she isn’t getting hugo’s full attention and keeps being a brat about it. hugo’s just trying to calm down his baby and olivias glaring at him while she’s about to push a glass off the table

yeah idk i. have a lot of thoughts abt them too they’re so beloved to me

[bazooka-overkill]

MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH

okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy

uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh

ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience

BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:

i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE

who typed that omg…

GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)

full name: isaiah joseph banks

birthday: april 12th

age: 31

height: 6’5” (197 cm)

weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)

origin: philadelphia, PA, USA

gender: cis male

sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)

family:

victoria banks, mother, alive

george banks, father, alive

no siblings

HEAD CANON TIME:

- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD

- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood

- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people

- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)

- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious

- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc

- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation

- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes

- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)

- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will

- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)

- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him

- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling

- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone

- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)

- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit

- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere

origin backstory thing under cur bc its long

origin:

isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.

isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they

the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.

the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.

every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.

then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.

isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.

with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.

his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.

isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.

it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.

there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.

nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.

his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.

if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.

mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.

he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.

i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁

[clonerightsagenda]

Pick a favorite character for the ask thing

(Ask meme here)

Did you know in my years of doing this ask meme, no one has asked about my beloved Hera? Possibly bc I talk about her so much already. Jokes on everyone, we are doing it again

First impression

I have told this story many times, but I was white knuckling it through the whole podcast terrified that she would get her memories deleted. To be entirely fair that was a rejected season 3 concept.

Impression now

I love her! Favorite AI character of all time. Chronic pain solidarity.

Favorite moment

I have many favorite moments, but what's coming to mind now based on some of my other responses to this prompt is that Hera delivers the only "I love you" aimed at people who are physically present. Minkowski says it in a message to her husband, Eiffel says it in a recording to his daughter, but iirc Hera is the only one to say it live, and it's platonic and to the group, which I Just Think Is Neat. (Iconically aro podcast w359 strikes again.) Also the whole quote is "I love you guys, but you need to get it through your heads that what goes for you doesn't go for me" which really gets back to one of the show's points that love isn't enough. You can genuinely care for someone and want the best for them and still fuck up, still hurt them, still not fully understand what they're going through. But you still have to communicate and you still have to try.

Idea for a story

Currently working on a PGW fic where the crew swings by the Hermes on their way back to Earth to rescue that station's AI and Hera has to work through her feelings about facing someone who was in the same situation as she was but did not come out on top. Rn she is being unfair about it.

Hera’s equally on edge. “The collar program is still running, she might not have that much processing power. But be ready in case she tries something. She’d better not try anything.” “It’s not her fault, is it?” he asks, surprised by the viciousness in her tone. “I beat a collar program.” “Didn’t Dr. Maxwell help you a lot, though?” Hera doesn’t like talking about Dr. Maxwell. “I don’t care,” she says instead. “She shouldn’t have let Dr. Pryce make her hurt them. Just because she couldn’t stop Dr. Pryce from taking her crew away from her doesn’t mean she gets to take mine away from me.”

Unpopular opinion

You mean besides my post that got me vagueblogged about? Here's another one: I don't think Hera would want or enjoy a human/humanoid body. The one time she's limited to a single source of visual input, her response is "it's weird; I don't like it". She's proud of being able to see colors our skull-gelatin can't comprehend, even if she's sorry she can't share them with anyone. She enjoys being a AI mother program when she's on a functioning system like the Sol. Yes she envisions herself as present with the crew in parts of Memoria, and there's an implication she's given herself a humansona, but my interpretation of that was that she wants to be treated as one of them, and unfortunately most of the crew's approach to treating her as a person is trying to treat her like a human. She's not wrong to think they'd relate to her better if she looked like them. (Is that not the same principle the Listeners used?) Maxwell was able to meet with her on her level, but as much as the other crewmembers care about her, they don't understand Hera in the same way. Downloading her into an android body feels like an accommodation for their benefit rather than trying to find a way for her to thrive on her own terms. Smarthouse Hera forever.

(For the record when her VA was asked if Hera would like being human her response was 'she'd try it for a day to see what it's like but she wouldn't want to stay that way'. Seems reasonable to me.)

Favorite relationship

As most followers know I am very fond of her (non-romantic!!) friendship with Eiffel. They've got a lot in common! They fuck up with each other but then do better! They were both sent up there knowing they were disposable and then decide to care about each other on purpose. However most followers also know that in my last few relistens I've been thinking a lot about her overlaps with Lovelace - how they are both surveillance tools that entities use to try to hurt other people, and they both overcome that. Hera is extending non-human solidarity but she wants to be recognized as a non-human person and Lovelace would really prefer to be viewed as human, thanks. There's tension there.

Favorite headcanon

I've posted before that I think she retains some of Pryce and Eiffel's memories which has funny, sad, and interesting implications. Among these I think she kept override codes Pryce can use on AIs so she can fight that kind of thing off in the future, and something that will come up in that Hermes fic is her deciding whether she's willing to use those on someone else. Stay tuned.

[original-character-championship]

Bracket E Round 1

Poll 4

Zmeya (@eyeball-freak) vs. Tsuru (@adanaac)

263. Zmeya (@eyeball-freak)

He/They

Zmeya is like the classic faerie you’ve heard from folklore. He loves to play jokes on mortals but is also willing to help them out if needed. He’s literally a snake oil salesman, he has snake tattoos that can turn into actual snakes. He has a wife and a son and he loves both dearly. He perpetually gives off “weird uncle vibes” but in a good way, like the one who will give you strange coins and heirlooms but doesn’t tell you where he got them. He’s a cynic by nature but he’s also surprisingly empathetic, he’s been around for hundreds of years but is always finding new ways to trick mortals. He’s an old snake daemon but he’ll always have fun with what humanity has to offer him

Looks to be about mid 40s. He has black shoulder length hair that’s messy but otherwise well taken care of, it has a gray streak in it as well. He has an aquiline nose and other general sharp features. He has a goatee and wears eyeliner. His nails are naturally black and he chooses to grow them out a bit. He has matching snake tattoos on both arms (that turn into actual snakes). He’s 5’11 which makes him the shortest out of his whole family. He has bright green snake eyes that can be spotted even in the dark. He likes to wear golden jewelry because he’s a fancy guyyy

264. Tsuru (@adanaac)

he/him

just a little ghost guy. there's a black haired and white haired version of him bc i think that's the sexiest type of character designs. he's actually the manifestation of who people thought the alive version of him was, combined with his own ideal version of himself. he also hallucinates a black haired version of him who's a manifestation of who he thought he was (warped by self deprecation). both of him think the other one is the fucked up evil one. they're both right and wrong. this is all a metaphor for a lot of things. it's actual death but it's also "death" as in the tarot card. he always ends up dying and becoming a ghost or other supernatural creature in every universe because he's never happy with himself and never will be. (also because i think ghosts and monsterboys are hot.) he also gives me a lot of existential crisis because he's 18 and i made him wayyy before i was 18, and now im older than him.

oh this is fun ive always thought he's a very simple design that someone could draw just from a description. i know i have pictures but i want to try describing him anyway.

- tall skinny 18 year old prettyboy

- amber eyes, square glasses with thin rims

- messy white hair that mostly reaches his neck, has an ahoge, has one strand going down the center of his face that curves to one side, one long strand at each side of his face that goes down past his shoulders, low thin ponytail that reaches his waist

- light grey collared shirt, slightly darker grey pants, loose pink hoodie jacket thats falling off his shoulders

[borom1r]

alone, break, desire, and mask for the OC meme (whichever one(s) you have the brain worms for)

ooooooo ok I’ll do a few guys.. Kenneth, Fýrulf + hmmmm Achim :3

Kenneth—

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

loneliness doesn’t bother him. he’s a freak + he knows it, he grew up being The Weird Kid(tm) and learned pretty fucking fast that people don’t like being around him for extended periods of time.

+ so he spent most of his adult life completely alone, before he met John. it didn’t bother him, but in like. the sense of he was so used to it he just didn’t even register it as sth lacking. now that he has John, he’s fully committed to “when you die, I die.” nobody gets to take John away from him lmao

when nobody’s around… kinda similar to what we’ve talked abt with John tbh. like not as extreme bc Kenneth very much HAS his own identity, but if he doesn’t need to perform for anybody, if there’s nobody in his life to care about, then he’s just going thru the motions. very robotic. part of why he likes the adrenaline rush of demolition derbies so much, + why he’d drive around picking up ppl on the roadside. he was looking for danger bc it gave him sth to focus on Other than the creeping emptiness of his stupid little life.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

oh if John died. 100%. I mean like I touched on above, if John goes, Ken’s going to.

if it’s natural causes, he’d just take himself out quietly. if someone else caused his death, Ken would rip their throat out with his teeth first. blind seething rage.

Ken’s never Been at what he considers his “lowest,” but John has seen him minutes away from a panic attack so I think that counts lol

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

surprisingly enough for Kenneth’s whole.. vibe, a long happy “quiet” life lmao. he’s got John, he’s got someone who matches his vibe, like he just wants their version of 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Their quiet little lot in the trailer park, their lazy days fixing up junker cars, their weekend trips to go murder idiots on the side of the road + fuck in seedy motels— he’s very open with this To John. nobody else needs to know about their fun weekend murder getaways lmfao

+ he’d fully tear the world apart to keep his little piece of paradise intact

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

literally? No. figuratively….. sort of. he’s weird + generally offputting if u spend more than half an hour around him. the only thing he rlly bothers to mask around the general public is the like. murder fantasies and extremely dubious kinks. Betty at the local 24hour diner doesn’t need to know he and John met bc Kenneth was driving around at three in the morning actively looking to Get Murdered For Sexual Gratification

John is FULLY aware that he’s in a committed long term relationship with a rancid little hick freak but to be fair literally who else would look at John and go “oh yeah YOU are the dude I wanna spend my life with. get loved, idiot” — I mean literally Ken and John:

Fýrulf—

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

loneliness isn't sth that bothers Fýrulf— he's been completely alone plenty of times, and he enjoys the isolation. it's why he decided to become an adventurer instead of staying home to protect his home village; a full pack chafes at him. he'd rather wander and join other adventurers only when he needs to

when there's no one around to see, he's a lot more willing to indulge his animalistic side. not that he bothers to hide it much to begin with; being a lycanthrope is a source of pride for him. if he's alone, though, he can indulge in things like eating raw meat or hunting with just his hands and teeth without getting weird looks

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

hm. that's an extremely good question actually. Fýrulf has a retired knight (an Aasimar named Tavar) that he's got quite the fancy for, and is considering asking Tavar to be his mate. bringing an outsider home for a short time to have a child is one thing, asking an outsider to be your mate is another, and would require Tavar to 1) be bitten by a werewolf and 2) embrace the full bloodlust that comes with lycanthropy. If Tavar fails to embrace his lycanthropy, he'd be ritually hunted and killed— a hunt Fýrulf would be required to take part in.

I think that would break Fýrulf. (he worries about his little brother eclipsing, failing to embrace the bloodlust, but he's always known that was a risk and it's an accepted part of their culture. it would be.. different, with Tavar)

Fýrulf at his lowest.... he'd just shut down. I think he'd let the wolf take over completely. no thoughts, only murder < no one's ever seen him at his lowest, bc he's never hit that point

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

glory for his people! he's an adventurer specifically to bring back wealth and glory (since he's gay and isn't necessarily gonna come home with children. like he COULD, but he's absolutely not the father type). it's a very simple desire but Fýrulf is a very simple man. he loves his home, he loves his family, he enjoys exploring the world but there just isn't a whole lot he wants for himself. someday he'll die an honorable death in battle and that's enough for him

he's very open with wanting glory, but his home village/its location is a closely-guarded secret. even Tavar doesn't know exactly where it is

+ he's already working to fulfill his goals. every adventure he goes on is more tales of battle and bloodshed to bring home to his people

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

literally? yes actually! his wolf-pelt can be worn as a mask, and he will usually lower it over his face before he goes into battle. figuratively? not really. he is what he is and he's not ashamed of any of it.

Tavar and his family. they get to see Fýrulf as his truest self

Achim—

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

ahh.. he doesn't deal w/ loneliness well. he'll summon ghosts to keep him company if he's Truly Alone, which is not the best coping mechanism for sure

he was.. not completely alone, but extremely isolated. his aunt slowly poisoned him to death and kept him secluded in his room, so.

he doesn't like being alone. it makes him anxious, but now he's got a soul-link with a monstrous ghostlike creature that grants him supernatural powers. so now he's never alone!

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

if he ever was truly alone, i think he would break. if he lost his connection with his geist, he'd freak. like a frightened animal in a storm. his partners have seen him at his lowest, and though Emrik struggles with emotions, Dorin is generally good at helping Achim calm down

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

To Be Loved~

like look, he was poisoned to death by the one person he thought cared about him, resurrected by a powerful spirit and now he's got two Different undead creatures for boyfriends. not to mention his first real experimentation with intimate relationships came in the form of using previously mentioned supernatural powers to make ghosts tangible from midnight to sunrise.

Achim is. not the most well adjusted. he wants someone who will Love Him For Eternity, and he's fairly open about that. if he ever lost Emrik or Dorin, he'd probably go back to summoning ghosts for Late Night Flings. again, not healthy, but he wouldn't do anything to hurt people he cares about (even if they're actively hurting him)

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

does he? no, not really. it's especially hard to mask when the Geist you're tied to manifests any strong emotions as uncontrollable, murky tears (if his Geist is feeling things? Achim is crying nonstop). since his/his Geist's emotions are so painfully obvious, there's not a lot of reason for Achim to mask. he's self-conscious, insecure and a bit of a clingy crybaby. Dorin and Emrik know this, and they care about him all the same (Dorin is fascinated by a Ghost Magnet and Emrik can't quite quantify "love," but they do each care about Achim in their own ways)

[butchjess]

im sending ppl asks bc my friends are tired of me talking about this but…i was wondering if maybe part of the reason rory is drawn to logan/stays in the beginning of their relationship is bc she likes that a guy who is a classic playboy is choosing to commit to her. like rory is used to men leaving her (her dad, jess - its a big part of why she goes back to dean, he’s safe and there) and here’s a guy who despite his past and reputation, wants her and theres something intoxicating about being the exception! i dont mean this at all in a bash rory way some people say it, i just think she has an anxious attachment style and loves to be needed and wanted, and logan gives that to her. like this thought of “this guy who has never wanted anyone this way wants ME”

ok i’ve been letting this ask ruminate for a couple days bc it is very thought provoking and i love thinking about rory and how her brain works. now i think in this aspect of logan choosing her despite his playboy status IS something that plays into the appeal of him to her, the fact that he does care about her well-being and everything even though to everyone else, like marty or his friends or his dates, he can be pretty callous, not cruel just, well, he doesn’t really care about what happens to them yk. but with rory he goes out of his way to remember her name, and then to cheer her up after getting broken up with dean, and then gives her an inside scoop into the LADB. he kind of does this thing where he really dotes on her (spending time w her when she offers him her research notes, buying her a dress, making her jump with him, calling her special, etc) and rejects her in the same capacity (doesn’t invite her to the party his dad is throwing, invites her to a hangout w him AND his friends, brings a plus one to the wedding, etc) and it very clearly has the effect of. confusing rory. and, unintentionally or not, sort of forcing that attachment that rory has to him. bc yeah like u said he DOES choose her eventually but he puts up a fight about it beforehand until rory’s visibly upset by him twisting her words (”that’s not what i said.” “it’s what you meant!” “ugh, i need a taco.”) and only then agrees to be her boyfriend. as if it was some big sacrifice on his part or something. and rory’s also trying to be someone else when she dates him which is also a large part of why she’s drawn to him, she wants to feel something other than this depressive episode she’s been in for like an entire year, and logan’s exciting even if, in her own words she “[doesn’t] know why” she likes him. because yeah rory’s not a casual girl, and it’s very clear that she’s not, even if she said she was lmao. so, in conclusion, i think logan offered both a sense of danger (as well as uncertainty of her own feelings all the time) and also yeah feeling like a special exception that was kind of like. a perfect distraction from her existential crisis/depression and also the worst possible influence she could’ve had at the time. anyways this part from The Party’s Over always made me go ohhhhhhhhhaugsh ily meta dialogue..

i love unsubtlety...

[vngelicc]

hi! a muslim here!

- i just want to make one thing clear to this anon who thinks they have the right to talk to you like that on an app that doesn’t even give a single fuck about this type of shit bc if you want to make people aware of what’s going on you do it on platforms where people actually stop scrolling and read what certain people have to say instead of being full of fictional story’s for other people to read as a hobby or to get away from their personal lives.

i as a muslim can openly say that palestine isn’t the only country where genocide happens which means if this anon cared so much about us (muslims getting slaughtered to death) than they should do their research right and go look up what happens in china to uyghur muslims and all the other countries. basically what im saying is in short;

yes, what happened or still happens in palestine is demonic and cruel to our society but remember that there are still people out there which we never heard their voices before bc the world is concerned about 1 country instead of being concerned with every human being that goes to this type of stuff no matter what color, religion or identity they have so gtfo this app and go somewhere where people are ready to hear you out and would like to help you cause ain’t no way in hell we gonna suddenly care about the shit that happens to my people on tumblr mf this app is full of smut,porn, art, people expressing their feelings etc wtf u expect us to do on here?

sorry but i can’t just take these people srs again i hope you don’t feel obligated to do anything just bc someone tried to be „funny“ when this is your page and you go by your own rules and everyone has to either respect that or foh. love you, stay safe 💗

thank you lovely, you said it perfectly! it’s not that we don’t want to talk about it but tumblr is a dying app for one, TWO it censors the dumbest things ever so imagine me trying to post a video of a baby being found under rubble or the air strikes?? like wouldn’t y’all agree that moving to apps where you can get more media coverage like twitter and instagram is better??? where twitter won’t censor these atrocities so that the world is forced to see and open their eyes? but does that mean I won’t post and remind you guys on here what’s happening? NO, just bc im more active on twitter doesn’t mean I won’t bring it up here either!!!

but rn the genocide in Palestine is FARRR more severe when you consider the fact that the entire US alone supports Israel and keeps funding their genocide, which is why people are more focused on Palestine! BUT it doesn’t take away that there are other countries going thru the same thing. which is why we are their voices and we need to bring everything to light so that the world can see these atrocities.

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 , FREE SUDAN 🇸🇩 , FREE HAITI 🇭🇹 , FREE CONGO 🇨🇩 FREE WEST PAPÚA

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

LOL I can totally see Claude being embarrassed about Rodrigue's "dad behaviour" but I think he would also love to hear all the childhood anecdotes Rodi has to tell about the Faerghus Four, probably embarrassing Dimi and mortifying Felix, haha. And yes, Rodrigue would be good with Sylvain. I think he could also make Matthias realize that their sons really love each other and even though Sylvain cannot pass on his Crest this way, that it will be ok in their new future (I mean, they could still

[2] adopt kids. Honestly, Sylvain would be a cool dad. And I imagine Felix would be more openly soft with his kids than his usual snarling wildcat persona he pulls off when he likes to pretend he doesn't care xD. Dimitri would be such a good father, too. We already know from canon that he loves kids, like teaching the orphans, AM ending mural and this monk who tells Byleth he saw Dimi caring for an orphan even in his boar phase. Claude would be great, too and I see him being naturally good

[3] with kids on the surface but also a bit of insecure inside bc of his own childhood. His own parents aren't exactly good role models *cough* and though he seems not always aware of the impact their upbringing had on him, I think he would want to do better with his own children. And Rodrigue would tell the kids adventurous bedtime stories. Tbh I could even see any kid Sylvix may adopt melting "the wall of ice". Rodrigue and Matthias as great grandpa duo is a headcanon I didn't know I need lol

Oops sorry for the long ask. I got a bit carried away with my "kids/grandchildren" headcanon lol

YEAH like since Claude doesn’t know much affection from a parental figure I feel like he’d be a bit shy about it at first, but he’d also want to hear the stories about Dimi and what the group did as kids. Felix would absolutely be mortified, he’d be doing anything in his power to stop Rodrigue from continuing but Dimi and Sylvain would hold him back because if they have to suffer, Felix does too. 😤

Tbh I like the idea of Sylvain opening up to Rodrigue about his feelings about his own father and how he’d like to be closer to him but Matthias just isn’t really “hanging out with” material. Rodrigue is much more emotional and more readily available for heart to hearts, but Matthias won’t have even that much with his own kid(s). Might even be a good way to get Rodrigue to talk to Matthias about trying a bit harder since they could die at any time from something like even a Sreng invasion. Also, it might be good for Rodrigue too since he always wants to talk to Felix but Felix isn’t interested and always acts angry about literally nothing. I think he’d be happy to have someone rely on him for advice besides Dimitri who he already considers a son.

In Hopes Dimitri also mentions the power of Crest bloodlines is getting weaker anyway and they have to prepare for that. That’s in his support with Sylvain too if I’m not mistaken. It’d be interesting if Sylvain adopted a kid instead of having his own (since I imagine nobility/royalty would be pressured to have blood children bc of their bloodlines, even if they weren’t with someone they could have children with). It’d be like preparing for that by raising a child to be ready in the same way any Gautier would be, but without the bloodline or relic’s power to help.

Felix would be a good parent imo because you can tell he’s not really that aggressive with people outside of his best friends. Felix has this weird attitude where he’s nicer/more considerate with others than with his best friends, where he doesn’t hold back or play the nice guy when he has something to say. He’s nice to them when he has no reason to be angry/aggravated, like how he personally goes to Sylvain in their B support specifically to apologize, but he gets aggravated again when Sylvain says something stupid.

Specifically, his childhood friends each have reasons he’s more snappy with them (Sylvain saying dumb shit and acting like nothing matters to him including his own life, Dimitri being so violent toward enemies but being kind and polite otherwise and Felix doesn’t understand that and is somewhat afraid of him bc of that, and Ingrid is too deep into knighthood in a way that goes completely against Felix’s beliefs on knighthood and hates the extremities Ingrid takes it to).

So, like, I think he’d actually be a really good and gentle father generally, but probably be more strict just because of things like not wanting his kid to grow up to be like Ingrid, to make the mistakes Dimitri made or to be as whimsical and careless as Sylvain. Tbh I think Felix would be one of the most devastated parents ever if he lost a child. Obviously most people would be like that if they lost a kid, but I think Felix would take it a lot harder than even the expected norm.

Claude and Dimi would be amazing parents imo! Dimi is already very good with kids but I think they’d find him fun and be amazed by him. I think Claude would be the more awkward one since he grew up so isolated and didn’t have a group of friends growing up like Dimi did, so I think his understanding of how to behave in a way that a child would enjoy would need a crutch to lean on, like watching Dimi interact with them and learning from that. Since he also grew up basically being emotionally stunted and not having experience from his own life to go off of, I feel like he’d need the experience through watching others first. After that I think he’d be more confident about it and be able to handle kids better. He’d definitely be an overprotective dad when the kid was really young though imo just out of experience and instinct. I feel like Claude would be the stricter parent, not on purpose but because his mind would just always be like “YOUR KID IS ADOPTED BY TWO MEN AND ON TOP OF THAT YOU’RE BOTH ROYALS WHICH MAKES FOR A HIGH BOUNTY AND LOTS OF PPL ALREADY HATE YOU SO OFC THEY’D HATE YOUR KID TOO AND YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO TRUSTING WITH STRANGERS LEST SOMEONE KIDNAPS YOUR KID ETC ETC YOU GET IT CLAUDE”. Claude would be “be home by eight PM” parent and Dimi would be the “be home by eight PM if you’re not with a friend/have to get home by yourself, but be home by ten PM if you’re with a friend or people you trust”.

I also love this one idea/headcanon of mine that Mercedes teaches Dimi how to sew/knit and Dimi teaches Claude. I’d think Claude would know the basics of it, but since Dimi would know it beyond just basics from Mercedes’ help then I’d think he’d know more than Claude after working with her. I love the idea that Dimi and Claude would handmake lots of stuff for the orphans, so I bet they would do that for their own kid(s) too. I feel like they’d love handmaking things for their kids since they’d feel more special than things they bought!

ALSO I love the idea of Claude asking Rodrigue for advice on how to handle his kid(s) bc like sure Dimi is good with kids, but Rodrigue has had children and is a grown adult, so he’s not still learning how to raise his own kids like Dimi would be. Maybe him asking for advice would be how Rodrigue gets into telling all these stories to the kids (Dmcl and Sylvix kids both!), and Claude listens too sometimes to learn from Rodrigue!

OKAY BUT LISTEN, Sylvain bringing his first kid (adopted or not) to Matthias and Matthias actually crying about Sylvain being a dad and seeing how much of a good dad Sylvain became even despite Matthias himself not being much of a father to Sylvain... He’d be so happy to see that even though he wasn’t much of a father, Sylvain still became a great dad and he’d realize he didn’t ruin things for Sylvain’s parenthood and be so grateful. I can see him telling Rodrigue about that and being so proud of Sylvain and Rodrigue just being SO HAPPY to see Matthias being emotional because it’d been such a long, long time since he was. Maybe he’d even hug Sylvain and thank him for bringing back the old Matthias he used to know by being a good father.

No worries on getting carried away! I love hearing other people’s Dmcl/Sylvix headcanons and family headcanons! If you ever just wanna drop some in my ask box just to let them out or talk headcanons, feel free. I don’t mind how long they are! If you’re having fun talking about them then that’s good and I’m happy you’re having fun! :)

[fuck-comphet]

Hello! lately I've been confused about my sexuality. I'm a junior in high school and my experiences with sexuality and romance have been pretty conflicting for me. As a little girl I didn't want romance, yet I would crush on boys I found cute yet not really care to date them, it was more so I wanted their attention because as a kid boys found me ugly and would bully me so I kinda just needed a certain boy's validation and attention. Fast forwarding to 6th grade I had a crush on 3 boys, yet I didn't want to date either of them, 2 of them were twins and it was my mission to be their friend, while the other one I just wanted his affection but I never really considered dating him either. In general I have to have a strong bond with someone in order to fall in love with them. During freshman year I dated my best friend who is a girl, but I broke it off due to me not being in love with her or anyone, but after that I kinda got jealous of her when she got a boyfriend. Most of my dislike towards him was because I was jealous and I kinda wanted my best friend to love me again, idk if that meant anything or not, but i was jealous. Later in freshman year I dated another girl, however this lasted longer, it felt right to me, a lot happened between us though that we broke it off and she has long since moved on to another girlfriend. I have very strong feelings for her even though we broke it off last year in sophomore year, i just haven’t gotten over her, I am aware that the feelings i have for her are romantic and i wanna be with her and have a future with her, but i’m heartbroken bc I highly doubt I’ll have a chance with her again, i think about her everyday, i feel so insecure and i just have this need to impress her and act a certain way due to the mistakes I made in the past. Her and I are good friends, but I'm not honest with her bc I just have this fear of hurting her again. Right now I am dating a man, but I honestly wish i wasn’t dating him to be honest, I feel comfortable with his affection but like i’m not really into it tbh, i’m just kinda neutral about it, it doesn’t feel the same as when my ex hugs me or brushes against me. Ever since I've been dating the guy I've been questioning more often on my identity, I can’t tell if I’m bi in denial or a lesbian. Now I've gone with the term lesbian before and it felt right but I stopped identifying as one bc i was afraid I’d just “find the right one” and it would look like I was faking being a lesbian. Is there something wrong with me?

Hi friend!

Few things to unpack here so I want to start with saying first and foremost: NO, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s normal that figuring out our sexuality and identity in general is confusing and not linear.

Second of all: you are so so young. Like I understand wanting to figure it all out and put it to rest but friend, you have soooo much time ahead of you! And the beautiful thing about being a human person with human emotions is that we have capacity for change throughout our lifetime. This is not me giving you the annoying/invalidating cishet thing of “it’s just a phase”; I am saying that not being set in your labels and allowing yourself to continue to figure out who you are and how you evolve over time is super ok!

Third of all: you are saying some classic comphet lesbian things such as

Being afraid you eventually "find the right man" that will invalidate your lesbianism

Dating a guy and not really being into it, without necessarily being repulsed or averse to affection from a guy, feeling "neutral" (ie not attracted / excited) is not the same as attracted. When you are attracted to someone, they don't leave you indifferent like that

Saying you feel more when your crush "brushes up against you" than when you are with this guy, that sounds pretty gay (affectionate) to me

The list goes on but the point I am trying to make is that it sounds like you are invalidating your own lesbianism in fear of other people doing so. Also, I am a stranger on the internet, I absolutely cannot tell you how to identify or whether or not you're a lesbian. I am making observations on the context you've given me and it seems like you are not into guys and are very much into girls based on this context.

I do think though that dating someone and not being into it is not fair to yourself and also not fair to that person. Obviously I don't have all the context around your relationship to your current boyfriend but if you wish you weren't with him, consider being honest with him so that he can move on and find someone who will actually be into him. You both deserve loving and meaningful relationships.

The last thing I want to say is that highschool can be such a micro-ecosystem with the same people hanging around for years and years. The world truly opens up after highschool! You'll meet new, different and intersting people, you'll be exposed to new ideas and perspectives, and those will all change you, and that's ok! So it's really alright to not have everything (or anything) figured out right now.

I do hope this was helpful, I know this is a bit of a longer response. The queer community loves you, now and always 🧡🤍🩷❤️

[loversj0y]

Ohh boy ok

L’manbur my beloved. 

Here’s part two. Maybe the next part will be the angsty part

Can you imagine President Soot announcing the elections and learning that the reader immediately enrolled as a candidate. He’d be annoyed, but also a strange mixture of proud and exhilarated. 

This is another enemies AND lovers moment y’all. (want to hc that someone actually suggested impeachment or a vote of no-confidence against President Wilbur a couple times– which the reader actually refused to do, marking the one and only time that they defended wilbur on the political stage, saying that government should be run through debate and consideration and not mindless evictions, yada yada. Wilbur was looking at them like 😳). 

Anyway the day comes for the candidates to choose their running mates— I don't remember how that went down in canon, so I'll make some stuff up. Let’s assume that each candidate gives a short speech and then announces their future VP. It’s like a publicity stunt, getting their names out there for people to remember and hopefully vote for. 

There’s this one guy in L’manburg, let’s just call him Archibald or something (old man, dude in his 40s), who vehemently opposes everything the reader does. He doesn’t like Wilbur either

Despite all of this, A r c h i b a l d  is not a complete prick. He cares for L’Manburg in his own way, even if his tactics and views don’t align with his peers. He amassed quite a following, but wasn’t chosen as a political candidate, and resorted to glaring at the other contestants from his place in the audience. 

Back to the reader. Now, they know they are at an extreme disadvantage here. Public speaking is not their thing– shady, one-on-one contract deals are more their style. Talking to a crowd? Forget about it. They need to take a gamble. 

Wilbur chooses Tommy as his VP, Quacktiy chooses George, Fundy chooses Niki, and they choose…. Archibald.

The stadium goes silent, flabbergasted, as they announce their pick. Some of the reader’s close constituents look offended, and Archibald looks flabbergasted. But he isn’t going to pass up this opportunity– not yet at least. He shakes their hand and joins them on stage. 

By drawing a truce with their worst political enemy and showing the citizens that they are willing to work with opposing ideals,  the reader has pulled what we call a pro gamer move. 

Wilbur is a little impressed? Maybe?

Just imagine him standing on the other end of the stage, elbows on the podium, head resting against his fist as he just grins. 

Imagine his vaguely flirty behavior with Quackity, but doubled.  

Man knows how to roll an insult, pick-up-line, and partially-backhanded/partially-genuine compliment into one. 

Still too cocky to think he’ll lose the elections though. 

I swear i had other ideas about this but they won't come to me.

Also: no romance/jealousy scene is implied with Archibald. he's just some old guy politician who becomes a coworker.

also also: completely (?) unrelated but IMAGINE BEING PRESIDENT SOOT'S TAILOR. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE TENSION THAT COMES WITH STANDING BEHIND SOMEONE AS YOU LOOP A MEASURING TAPE AROUND THEIR WAIST---

anyway i am normal about this skrunkly./.,,,, elegeeant absastard.

god the sexual tension between wilbur soot and political opponents…….

the idea of tommy as his vp in this scenario seems to funny to me bc of the clips where tntduo would be havijg an intense discussion and tommy would just go. “ARE U GUYS KISSING” because he’d definitely do that

post debates, coming off stage, both a little sweaty and worked up from nerves, and wilbur’s just standing there looking too hot for his own good, so the reader picks something absolutely stupid to just fucking yell at him about, and they’re getting in each other’s faces, literally lips seconds apart, arguing in fancy political and business terms, and then tommy turns the corner. pauses.

“wilbuh can you stop MAKING OUT with the ENEMY”

also love the pro gamer move on readers part. thats actually a genuinely smart political show (until it becomes time to pass legislation but theres a reason they changed the law about who the VP ends up being (thanks hamilton))

also I HAVE THOUGHT ABT THAT MANY TIMES MAN OH MY GOD

he’s standing there, stressed and tired, and theres a lot of tension as you wrap your arms around him to measure his waist and in his exhaustion, he thinks you’re trying to hug him, and he just. fully leans into it, exhausted and wanting affection <3 and as his personal tailor, you will gladly do so and then help walk him to his room to make sure he sleeps well (and doesnt get any of his fancy clothes that you just made messed up ffs he loves gis gunpowder but that shit stain’s permanently!!!! hold on. my knowledge of gunpowder just gave me a separate idea but i dont have enough there to share yet so im going to ignore it BUT STILL)

[annikuh]

I’ve been having a total whale of a time doing all of this backstory work with the twins, especially in figuring out Panathir. I already have so much for him in the present day, but it’s been so fucking exciting getting to track how he got there and why he’s like that, and the really deep paranoia that he eventually ends up with.

(long post below the cut going thru all of this bc i need to write it down somewhere)

like obviously his whole tough-guy thing covers up his insane insecurities that he hates to acknowledge, and it’s absolutely a consistent part of him from his creation. in the past he knows everyone hates him and thrives on it, like he LOVES being feared and purposefully seeks it out. he loves being an enemy of the people, but he starts getting kind of…paranoid. like after the mainlanders start paying less attention to the twins and giving him less reason to assert his dominance (bc they’re giving him no reason to; they’re being perfectly respectful), he starts convincing himself harder that the mainlanders hate him and are out to get him, and he gets this insane chip on his shoulder so he can feel important, but it kind of ends up freaking him the fuck out. he’s in Jax’s ear like doubling down and convincing them of the same, and hyper analyzing everyone else for any minuscule sign of disrespect and blows it way out of proportion and pulls away from any interaction that’s neutral or somewhat positive even.

and he carries this victim (?) complex all the way back to the dead isle with the other nepherits there and is still constantly in Jax’s ear too. like he becomes a paranoid freak and makes Jax super paranoid too

However, once Jax ditches him and goes back to the mainland, they actually allow themself to talk to people bc they’re someone who craves it. they still carry this fear that Panathir put in them, but they start to grow from it

OBVIOUSLY people are still highly against nepherits and both of the twins are still subject to discrimination and scrutiny and should be careful, but Panathir takes it very far.

When he’s back on the mainland, he’s a fucking freeeeeaaaaaak, like he carries himself like he’s an intimidating force (which he is) but inside he’s totally petrified, like agoraphobic levels of afraid and distrustful. the dude completely isolates himself beyond reason as much as possible bc he has it in his head that people are out for him and hate him, but in reality they don’t fucking care about him and his ego can’t take it.

he can’t work with other people, he can barely have an interaction at a store. he makes money through his art (and makes a fucking killing selling to like nobility and shit bc all he does is draw basically) but he has an art dealer that does everything for him. he could be fucking hugely successful and famous, but he just has this idea in his head that nobody would ever want art from a nepherit and he doesn’t want to be known (he signs his art for himself, but doesn’t give his real name to the dealer). but he also probably doesn’t want to face people who may have something negative to say about him or his art, and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from flipping out on them. And like, I think he learns to sew too so he can just make his own clothes and eliminate another person to interact with.

like the fucking guy gets so bad he lives in the fucking sewers at one point like that’s insane.

he eventually does talk to people to survive the bare minimum in society by really leaning into buffing up his own ego like “these people are just pretending I don’t matter bc they’re intimidated by me, and I’m better than everyone in this whole world” but he has no friends or anything bc he can’t trust anyone and nobody could ever understand him like Jax can.

and all of this makes him feel so fucking pathetic, and it drives him insane. And it ties us to his obsession with finding Jax bc they can make him feel powerful and important again. he can exert his will on them and push them around and they’ll bend to him, and they’ll actually love him (he sucks but he’s still a person yknow? he’s agonizingly lonely). but he feels like a fuckin loser for needing Jax so much too.

when he finds them, he’s such a bumbling maniac that he straight up fumbles it the first time bc he’s like screaming at them and trying to guilt them but they’re like “literally who are you, dickhead”. and the second time he totally debases himself, begging for them to come back to him bc he’s at the end of his rope. I truly believe that if Jax didn’t take him back the final time he tried, he would’ve killed himself.

when they do, though, he lets himself be so pathetic and dependent on them bc he can finally rest for a moment. he does some silly mental gymnastics to make himself feel better about being like that, but truly he just feels safe. Jax’s friends are like “fuck this guy” and one is really trying to square up with Panathir, but Jax being there and actively defending him steels him against that bullshit. he doesn’t have to lash out—Jax makes him feel like fuckin god and will fight his battles for him, despite them still having no idea who he is. But that kind of makes it better; he’s that fucking good and influential that Jax is still going against their friends for him.

Christ what a ramble, but I truly feel so good abt myself for mapping this out and I think it’s really cool. I fucking love Panathir so much, he’s terrible but he just breaks my fuckin heart man. & I’m also just really so proud of him from a character creation standpoint.

please clap bc nobody else in my immediate vicinity really cares that much and won’t give me any of the validation and praise I need irl LOL listen to my pathetic ass please gimme a breakkkk

[saltintheseaa]

mithrun panel redraws pre and post his dungeon lord stint

[astrobydalia]

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Relationship observations pt. II💘

Hello guys!! In honor of Valentine’s day here’s a part II of one of the posts you loved the most which is relationship observations. This one is pretty long which is what you guys preferred. Hope you like it!

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

💘 People with pisces ASC/moon/venus, Venus in the 12th and Neptune in the 7th or conjunct the ASC-DSC axis: it’s so SO easy to make them feel guilty. The type of people to easily feel like it’s their fault when others mistreat them and bc of this they could be more prone to attracting abusive people and narcissists

💘 Also, nobody talks about this and I understand why bc Neptune can be very tricky planet but I think it’s worth mentioning that Neptune is a very spiritual planet that represents unconditional love and therefore can mean true love or a real soul connection so the ruler of the 7th house making an aspect to Neptune, Neptune in the 7th, Juno in the 12th, 12th house synastry etc. can mean true love and a real soul connection in marriage. HOWEVER true love and a real soul connection feeling can often be confused with delusions which is why this planet gets such bad press in relatioships and remember 12th house a lot of times is karma so PLEASE be careful

💘 Venus ruling the 7th, venus in the 7th or Venus aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates a strong desire to marry for love. Very possible that the person won’t marry unless it’s for love. This also indicates good marriage life

💘 If you don’t have this it of course doesn’t mean you won’t marry for love or won’t marry at all so don’t worry. What I’ve seen in people who don’t have this is they are quite independent when it comes to relationships, they don’t mind getting married but they don’t mind not getting married or staying single either. While people who do have this Venus influence could be low-key obsessed with getting married or having a commitment/relationship

💘 Mercury ruling the 7th, mercury in the 7th or Mercury aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates marring someone that is funny, someone you can always joke around with

💘 Don’t overlook Chiron in synastry. The house where someone else’s Chiron falls in your own chart could be where you feel like this person is a pain in the ass or where this person will help you achieve great potential

💘 Check Chiron in composite too, it represents where you may feel like you can never agree on or where you often agree to disagree

💘 Once you gain the trust of someone with Taurus Venus they are the absolute SWEETEST people ever

💘 Libra Venus love getting ready for someone special

💘 Check the ascendant in your Juno persona chart, it has some significance as to the energy around you meeting your spouse similar to a composite rising but more subtle energy. For ex. one of my friends has gemini rising in her Juno persona chart and she met her husband when we were in high school when she was about to be picked up by car and she was also holding books in her hands and when she saw him he was with his brother.

💘 The rising in the Juno persona chart also indicates appearance or overall vibe of spouse. For ex the husband of this friend I just told you previously (Gemini rising in her Juno pesona chart) has a very youthful and boyish vibe almost like a teenager he’s also very witty

>>>The actual composite rising you end up having with your spouse or the natal rising sign of your spouse doesn’t have to be the same as the rising of your Juno persona chart. I’ve seen this actually happening before but it doesn’t have to be

💘 In 4th house synastry specially with sun/moon/rising/venus, the house person will naturally see the planet person as a parent or a potential parent. Meaning, somehow the house person “judges” the planet person by deliberating how they’d be as a parent. With this overlay the house person naturally takes care of the needs of the planet person (said needs will be determined by the planet and sign in question) and that’s why the planet person will inevitably see the house person as a good potential parent

💘 There are lots of placements and asteroids that indicate your sexual turn ons but I think that the most potent ones are Lilith, Eros, your 8th house and the ruler of the 8th house. I’ve noticed that these represent specially erogenous zones for you and parts of the body you’re specially attracted to (aside from your kinks and stuff). For example Cancer: breast or nipple, Gemini: lips or hands, Taurus: waist and neck, Leo: hair or back, Sagittarius: hips or thighs etc.

💘 Mars can represent this too but what I’ve seen is that your mars represents more so HOW you like to have sex. It mostly represents how you like to physically approach the sexual act

  💘 8th house represents your sex style, the overall vibe or attitude you want in the sexual act. For ex you may like being dominant during sex with mars in Capricorn but want the sexual act to feel emotional and vulnerable with Cancer in the 8th or raw and fiery with Aries in the 8th

💘 Also, your 8th house is EVERYTHING when it comes to feeling satisfied sexually regardless of your kinks and turn ons. If you have sex that checks all the boxes for all your kinks/turn ons but doesn’t match up with your 8th house energy you will likely end up feeling low-key unsatisfied

💘 Couples with their moons in sister signs (or opposing moons) are either the perfect couple or a fucking disaster

💘 In my opinion, Sun-Moon, Sun-Sun or Moon-moon contacts in synastry are essential for a relationship to work out or last

💘 People with Juno retrograde are the MOST cautious when it comes to marriage, they could be a bit picky and often give the impression they’re not interested in commitment at all specially if it’s placed in Aquarius it gives huge Mr./Mrs Independent vibes

💘 Juno in a water sign gives player vibes, they are the type jump from person to person and likely have a long history of flings and flirting. These people have dated around A LOT and will only commit to that one person that truly manages to capture their heart deeply

💘 Juno in a fire sign are the type of people that wanna marry their crush two weeks or even days into meeting them. They often mistake “attraction at first sight” for “love at first sight”. The second they feel they have real good chemistry with someone they think it’s the love of their life

💘 Juno in an Air sign people need to feel like they really click with someone and they will want to commit only after really getting to know the person. They fall in love with the person’s mind first. They can easily un-crush someone in a second if they don’t like the person’s mind

💘 Juno in an Earth sign people are the most coutios when it comes to commitment. They migh deliberately delay marriage just to be SURE they are getting a reliable future and wanna be certain that it’s the absolute right time

💘 Before starting with the composite observations, you should know that synastry is the dynamic between two people but composite represents what the relationship really is, so that’s why on this post I’m focusing on composite

💘 I’ve noticed that the 2nd house in a composite chart indicates the “glue” or foundation of the relationship, its stability. Mars in this house could create a relationship based on sex for example, Venus a relationship based on love and affection, Saturn a relationship based on stability and compromise etc.

💘 4th house and moon in the composite represents the depths of the relationship. How you guys feel deep down about each other, how you make each other feel. This part of your relationship shows specially when you get true and honest with what are your real feelings

💘 Aquarius or Uranus in the 4th house, Aquarius moon or Moon conjunct Uranus in the composite creates a whole deal of emotional detachment for each other. Could be very emotionally cold to each other and one or both could see the other as insensitive specially if one of them has natal water or fire moon

💘 Aquarius Sun or risings in the composite however is huge best friend vibes regardless of the nature of the relationship. Moon conjunction Uranus can also get away with giving this vibe

💘 Virgos and Scorpios naturally find each other because they tend to have composite Sun in Libra :) So that togetherness and companionship energy is natural for them

💘 Aries moon in the composite chart is that type of relationship where any insult actually means “I love you”. Is that type of dynamic where one’s like “I love you, stupid bitch” and the other goes “🥰🥰” and then they both laugh

💘 Pisces moon in the composite is cute but also a bit tricky if afflicted, the couple could constantly feel they have to watch themselves in order to not hurt or offend the other, like constantly walking on eggshells. Needless to say also these relationships are very intuitive, if one or both are lying or hidding something (which often happens with this placement I’ve seen), the other just KNOWS

💘 Saturn in the 7th in the composite is very good aspect for staying together long-term but it can also mean that the couple is for some reason “forced” to be together or to see each other. They come together due to circumstances and not necessarily by choice (Saturn represents responsibilities, burdens or obligations). You have to look for indicators of love and romance otherwise it’s gonna be a relationship that stays together but more out of duty than real love

💘 Juno in the 4th house in the composite (specially conjunct some planet) is more indicative of marriage (or loyalty/compromise) than Juno in the 1st

💘 Vesta exactly conjunct South Node in the composite creates a STRONG soul-mate feeling and great devotion. These relationships are so long lasting the type where you just know you’re gonna be together your entire life

💘 Chiron in the 1st in the composite chart = feeling uncomfortable with each other, like you’re incompatible or like you don’t click together at all. Can also create a “can’t be together” vibe but not in a platonic Pisces way it’s more like there’s some incompatibility that can’t be salvaged and “stops” the couple from meeting/coming together or the relationship from taking place at least at first. Basically the relationship feels broken before even starting. The sign Chiron is in gives insight as to what’s the nature of this incompatibility.

💘 Saturn in the 8th in the composite = reluctance to have sex, one might have been sexually rejected by the other

💘 Chiron in the 10th in the composite = you don’t like working with this person. I have this with one of my best friends, we tried to run an IG page together and it was a disaster lmao

💘 Sun and maybe Venus in the 10th house in the composite indicates your relationship is source of gossip or at the very least everybody knows about your relationship

💘 If a composite planet or point falls in your natal 10th house then the relationship might affect your reputation

💘 The most harmonious and the most healthy relationships I’ve seen had empty 7th house empty 12th and empty 8th house in the composite. Literally 0 drama, 0 tensions, 0 codependency and surprisingly unbreakable (supported by other aspects of course)

💘 With that said the number 1 best house for synastry or composite in my opinion and based on what I have seen is the 9th house both friendship and relationship, also the 5th, 4th, 2nd, 11th, 3rd

💘 People who have your DSC sign as their moon sign will strike you quite strongly. Not necessarily their moon falling in your 7th or conjunct the DSC (tho this is stronger) I’ve seen that the fact that someone has your DSC sign as their moon sign is enough to create a little “crush” feeling or you feel like you can’t hate that person bc may see them as cute.

💘 The people I’ve seen that have gone through a harsh divorce mostly had in their natal chart: North Node in the 7th, Chiron in the 7th house, Saturn rx in the 7th house, Jupiter Square Uranus and planets or angles in Aquarius degrees (11°, 23°) specially if Venus or Moon are in these degrees or conjunct a planet that is in these degrees. These indicators can apply to breaking up a long-term relationship, breaking an engagement, etc. except probably Jupiter square Uranus. This one is particularly a divorce aspect specially in women’s charts. Also, side note, if Pluto or Uranus are involved, these people may have a devastating divorce or breakup 

💘 Composite planets in the composite 12th house can create a feeling like the relationship has an expiration date. One or both people are for some reason constantly anxious that the relationship might end. If they stay feeding these energy they’ll likely have a self-fulfilling prophecy

💘 Pisces rising in the composite makes for a very psychic bond. Could be the type of relationship where you’re thinking and wondering about them and boom they suddenly text you. These people are usually there for each other bc they intuitively know when to be

💘 This is probably a no-brainer but many life-long friendships I’ve seen had stelliums or planets in the 5th house-11th house axis or the 3rd house-9th house axis of the composite

💘 With Leo rising in the composite I’ve noticed these people always have very funny stories to tell about stuff they’ve been through and lived together. There’s a lot of “remember when...” followed by loud laughter. 

💘 North north node in the composite 5th house is a great placement

💘 6th house placements in the composite and synastry creates a dynamic where the two people and the relationship itself ends up feeling extremely predictable. The couple may find one specific routine or activity they like doing together or they always find themselves doing the same 3 activities every time they are together. This can be good or bad depending on what you want in a relationship, some people find it extremely boring or understamulating and others prefer it because it gives them a sense of stability or reliability

💘 Moon conjunct Chiron in composite is indicative of a healing relationship

Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other