#HAHAHA NO

[zarahlarsson]

Elodie is a stronger woman than me.

If someone threw me down a hole and I had to fight for my life AGAINST A DRAGON?!

I would simply give up and let her eat me, like

💖 no thank you I'm good bestie💖

[snackugaki]

and another shitpost to close out the weekend

just out here to terrorize the other elder millenials who had their sense of humor fried by the internet

[dantesinfernhole]

Are nudes and numbers still a thing or are they cringe now?

[bibannana]

Echo *sighs*: Another season, another bout of seasonal depression.

Kix *rolling his eyes*: You can't keep calling it seasonal depression if it's constant. It's just depression then.

Echo *scoffs*: Sure I can. The severity of it changes with the seasons, therefore it's seasonal.

Kix *scowls*: Oh yes of course, my mistake. Just ignore the medical expert.

[scattered-irises]

More affirmations

I am still very tired 🥺

[burnadicarwoz]

I did it. I not only wasted my education and life, but beat yakuza 0. After 200 hours god-

All I need to now is climax battles, amon, and legend playtrough. Then I'm popping the plat baby. God what a great game though man, even with the mountains of bollocks getting to 100% is.

[brewed-pangolin]

Teaser for The Four Seaons of Soap MacTavish: Spring

No matter how hot the blazing summers were, or how high you'd turn up the thermostat, the emptiness of his absence always sent a lonesome shiver down your spine. Like a cold wind on an already frigid day, antagonizing the ache within your gut as it burrowed itself deeper into your bones.

You kept yourself busy throughout the day, mingling with friends and coworkers to keep the pining thoughts for him at bay. Busying yourself with endless errands, desperate to keep him locked away. Chained to the darkness of your subconscious where he festered into blood sickening melancholy.

It worked, most of the time. But his presence was forever branded in the deep recesses of your mind, where he waited patiently for your thoughts to quiet down and meander his way back into your unconscious.

He knew exactly when and where you were most vulnerable. To easily, painfully slip his knife of yearning straight into the depths of your heart.

He'd wait for you. Stubbornly persistent. He'd bide his time, like a patient predator waiting for the perfect strike.

And when the tendrils of sleep finally wrapped themselves around you, he'd move in for the perfect kill. Slithering his way out of your thought filled confines and bury himself deep within the cycles of your sleep. His memory enveloping your unconscious mind like the last winters chill on a frost covered bloom. Unyielding and steadfast to the warmth of the suns rays as he seeped into your dreams, and flowed within the hot blood of your veins.

Oh my God, this is all over the place, I know. And kinda clunky. But whatever. (It's still a rough draft, got lots of time to work on it)

This will also be four parts. One fic for each season.

And it wouldn't be spring without one last freeze from an unrelenting winter.

Stay Thirsty, Soap Squad

[noblehcart]

its adorable that ERCOT thinks texans will actually listen and conserve energy when they ask them to.

[cordelia-street]

i still think about the fact that you probably haven't thought about me since we last spoke. if you even care

[krash-8]

my biggest fear came true (taylor swift herself, not just her fans, called her music punk)

[rowanthestrange]

Friends with new baby and 1.5 Days left before moving if we’re including moving day itself: “We think it’s basically fine, but as an outsider, do you reckon we’re more or less done packing?”

Me looking around at their very not-packed house: “I’m sure we’ll be able to get it done in time if we all pull together.”

(internally: 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬)

[rainnotliam]

Hahahaha… I’m fucking screwed. Don’t ask why, I may have accidentally yelled out that I want a Volo body pillow. Don’t get me wrong, I’d yell that with no shame… if it wasn’t in the earshot of my fucking brother

[aquitainequeen]

Good news! We're hiring a new editorial assistant!

Bad news; I'm going to have to train them to do everything.

[spxnglr]

May or may not be here tonight. I've recently developed an allergy to my dog and it's inflicting a particular kind of fuckery upon me at the moment.

[kanene-yaaay]

not me trying to write a tickle fic w papyrus and stopping at every two sentences to scream onto my hands

[bastardised-cheshire-cat]

Her.