#HE LITERALLY LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD SO I'M HAPPY I GOT TO LIKE

[recreationalfanfics]

Hello!♡

First of all~ I love how you write!💕 You're absolutely talented.✨️ I'm also so in love with your yandere!Loki~ Could you maybe see yourself writing a sequel to this or any other yandere headcanons about Loki in general?

Have a lovely day!♡

OKAY, SO I DEF WANT TO WRITE A SEQUEL I JUST HAVEN'T HAD AN IDEA BUT I'D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE ABOUT MY YANDERE LOKI! Just to let you know; I'm not gonna go in too heavy with the punishment stuff just bc I'm not good at writing that yet, lol.

Yandere! Loki Headcanons:

- At first, he's basically like regular Loki except for the fact he isn't afraid to let you know that he's highkey obsessed with you.

- In general, he is a bipolar Yandere.

- He loves you so tenderly and gets filled with these new sickly sweet thoughts of romance that didn't interest him before but now that YOU are in the picture, it makes his heart leap.

- Sometimes he hates you and gives you the cold shoulder, avoiding you and getting frustrated at the mere mention of your name because HOW DARE YOU MAKE HIM FEEL SO WEAK AND VULNERABLE!? THAT'S NOT FAIR. AND YOU HAVE THE A U D A C I T Y TO NOT BE AS OBSESSED WITH HIM AS HE IS WITH YOU? outrageous!

- Other times he's a mix of the two, where he just gives you the cold shoulder and expects you to approach him and when you leave him alone then he gets more annoyed because THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO DO.

- Then there are times where he's completely stoic faced and just...watches you. Even when you can't see him, you can feel his eyes burning into him. When you aren't around, he's still quiet and looks distant yet focused on something, nothing can catch his attention for too long and even Thor and Odin are off put by his behavior because, well, he's never like this.

- He'll only react to your name or voice, but if he sees you aren't there or you're talking to someone who isn't him then he gets bitter and goes into his more sour moods. If you are there or you are talking to him directly, then he'll be over the moon and float over to you right away!

- Touchy guy, honestly. It doesn't matter whether you're a God or Human, he doesn't see you as either, he only sees you as his. Something that belongs to him. So he won't, like, full on grope you but he will pull you into hugs, put his arms around your waist and his head on your shoulder, or playing with your hair no matter what length it is and other things like that.

- Sometimes he might touch you more intimately, such as putting a hand on your thigh, cupping your face in his hands, and overall just testing to see how far you'll allow him to go before you get upset and move away from him. Again, he mostly just thinks its funny to make you a little uncomfortable at times.

- You honestly don't know if its lust, love, or hatred that he feels for you and it genuinely gives you a headache just thinking about it.

- Easily possessive and jealous as a Yandere as well. For example, if you were ranting to him about Poseidon being a dick then he'll frown and grab your face and make you look at him and say: "You're talking about him too much, I don't like it." before letting you go, so you just awkwardly change the subject to something else that might keep his interest or maybe make him the topic and he's back to being his jovial and playful self.

- With that being said, if you have someone else you're romantically interested in, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AS BEST AS YOU CAN. SHOVE THOSE FEELINGS DEEP INSIDE YOU AND LET THEM DIE. Because once Loki finds out, he's outraged.

- If they're human, he will kill them, Ragnarok be damned. If they're a God and they're more stronger than him, he knows he won't be able to kill them but he'll pester them and use his shape-shifting abilities to change into you and make sure they never want to be near you again. He doesn't feel bad when you cry, after all, YOU'RE the one who should apologize for hurting HIM.

- Loki himself also doesn't realize how deep his feelings for you go, he can't process them and it confuses him and frustrates him and excites him all the same.

- He originally thought you were just a passing obsession, that someday he'd get bored of you just like everything else and then leave you alone. But that day never came and it looks like it won't ever happen each day he wakes up and thinks of you as his very first thought.

- Your love, your hatred, your sadness, your happiness. He's a greedy God who wants all of it, all of you. Truly, if you have him obsessed with you, then you just have the worst luck in the universe.

[raayllum]

i'm literally sitting here trying to figure out what EVEN i can SAY about aspec rayllum here? i think about them and i want to combust into heart emojis. i watched the first season when it first came out and then only happened to catch up last year with my qpp, and in between i was like. so infuriated when i found out they'd made rayla and callum a thing bc i - naturally - latched onto the green and purple character as an aroace icon at 18 years old, and my partner was like "no no no no TRUST me you've got to watch it, you'll love it"

they weren't wrong and after bingeing the whole show i'm stuck thinking about rayllum a LOT. they're written so much like my own ideal relationship that i kind of want to explode from it sometimes. anyway, my absolute favorite thing about them is how much emphasis there is about their friendship - to the point that when i watched season four, I can't remember which episode specifically it was number wise but when rayla suggested splitting up and offered to go with callum and he turns her down, my first immediate heartbroken thought was "she misses her best friend..." i just love how they're in love but they're in love cos they're best friends....11/10 no notes i need more relationships like that in media

ANYWAY long rambley ask about my loves aside, my question is what are some of your favorite moments where rayllum are so clearly best friends/goofballs in love?

No like honest to god though — me and the Rayla to my Callum are also in a QPR + dash of romance relationship and like... arc 1 and arc 2 Rayllum are just so goddamn sweet??

I don't agree generally that arc 2 Rayllum is more Mature™ than arc 1 rayllum — Callum is more patient and Rayla is more open, so they've matured as individuals — but merely just that they're different flavours of aspec-ness. Like arc 1 is the craziness and rollercoaster of meeting a stranger and realizing they're Your Person, and arc 2 is the deepness after the fact of "I know you, and I know that we can get through everyone so long as we have each other" mostly cause I think the main reason people label arc 1 Rayllum as more immature is because s3 Rayllum gushes over each other, but that's bc people have a hard time conceptualizing having deep admiration for your partner(s) that isn't infatuation... even though like? It's totally normal and welcome, like any long term relationship is "my partner is the most amazing person ever and i'm also very aware of all their flaws simultaneously" and like, arc 1 Rayllum hits that balance perfectly imo

I just love all of their stages and sides to them so so much

But yeah! Some of my fave moments Rayllum wise for the Best Friends quality has to be when they help each other up in 3x05 (Callum after the soulfang chase and Rayla on the ambler) because things are Weird but they're still always going to help each other? The "I missed my best friend" quality in s4 with no one laughing at Callum's jokes / talking about magic with him (vs their first scene in 5x01 being him telling her all about the magic stuff he's reading) and Rayla keeping her disappointment at bay always hits hard and I loove 4x06 when she's beating herself up and he takes care of her because a Good Relationship isn't about how you treat each other when everything's fine, it's 100% about how treat each other when life is hard/stressful and/or you're upset with each other

But I love all the gentle teasing in early S5 and the fist bump lives in my head eternally rent free. The 2x03 hug also means a lot to me cause that was the turning point she went from being a friend to being family and I think in a lot of ways, that's their relationship's most important turning point alongside maybe 1x06 (trusting her anyway!) 4x09 (forgiveness) and 5x04 (her opening up).

5x02 post-inn and stargazing scene are also faves just because of how happy they are talking about Nothing and everything, and like — that's just so fucking real, y'know? When someone makes everything automatically better just by being there

As Callum says, "We've been through a lot, and a lot has changed. Well, some things have changed, but not everything," and this never will

[sin-sidejob]

Hi! If you don't mind taking requests, could you write headcanons for Brett Hand with a shy s/o that has crochet as their love language? Lol himbo lives in my head rent free and I'm always like "Hey I heard you offhandedly mention this is your favorite color, have a scarf I made"

No worries if you don't want to, thanks!

Brett Hand x GN!Reader:

Tethered

Warnings: SFW, GENDER NEUTRAL, canon aligned depictions and material, BRETTS SIX PACK MAKES AN APPEARANCE, brett cries but it’s happy, food mention once, about coffee that Brett’s pouring no actual consuming of food or drink

Contents: SO PAINFULLY SWEET YOURE GONNA NEED TO BOOK A DENTIST APPOINTMENT, istg it’s so cute and y’all two are fools, brett needs love and cries when he gets it

Author note: this is so precious as a concept and thank you for submitting this request I literally fell in love with the idea when I first read this ask. Muah — all the kisses for you

Brett had always been accustomed to giving more love than recieving it. From his siblings, his parents, childhood friends and fraternity brothers. Even coworkers. But working with Cognito Incorporated opened his heart a bit with how he got to receive love, true affection back.

The one who cracked that well-guarded heart was you.

He was not immediately enamored by you. Not so say he didn’t find you incredibly awesome and cool, someone he immediately befriended and got along with. Brett just hadn’t fallen in love with you immediately.

That’s not to say it didn’t take long for him to actually develop feelings, strong ones, that had him pining after you wistfully in a manner that irritated the fuck out of each and every member of the gang. Andre was this close to just throwing a bunch of illicit drug recipes together in attempts to create a love potion or something adjacent.

He was this close to being nothing but a literally lovesick puppy, trailing and tripping over your feet and eager to get any meagre amount of attention and affection from you. Brett would literally lie his head on your knee or lap while you worked at your desk if he could, and just beam up at you.

He’s sick in the head. The good kind. Lovesick.

Throughout all of this, he thinks you’re just oblivious to him or don’t really know him. Think of him as a stranger. The truth is quite the opposite, with you being incredibly interested and intrigued by the man. Finding him charming and sweet, complete package looks and personality wise. No one’s got a bad word to say about him.

That and he’s the type to lend you an umbrella when it’s pouring when he’s only got the one between the two of you. That’s because he did.

You had stayed late working on a report for your department that got lost in the shuffle and needed to be expedited, forgetting the time and hurrying out only to find the parking lot in a down pour. While mentally bracing to make a run for it, you catch Brett Hand extending his umbrella and offering it.

“You can have it! My car’s closer than yours is, makes sense that way.”

And you’re about to offer just sharing it and walking together but the man carries on, rambling about how you can even keep it if you want and he flushes before dashing out, drenching himself in a mad dash for his car truly not parked to far away. Sadly, rain still dealt harshly on his button down.

Luckily for you, you got a glimpse of his shirt when drenched, understanding the appeal of wet t-shirt contests immensely now that you fell into a stupor just looking at his chest.

He tucks into his car, seating himself in the drivers seat and buckling before taking a second to check his mirrors — he’s that great of a driver? Where did he come from, an L.L. Bean catalogue?— and starts the radio before turning back to glance at you, sitting underneath the lip of the building entrance and shrouded from the rain. He waves.

You wave back.

Brett doesn’t pull out of the parking lot and he gets confused looking at you standing there before you realize with one of those “oh shit I’m being stupid” moments that you need to go to your own car, go on home, and he’s waiting to make sure you get out okay. As you unfold the umbrella and lift it overhead and step out into the rain, you make a note of visiting the cloning department to ask about Brett and whether he’s real or not.

You lose yourself in thought but make it to your car, stepping into the drivers seat in a mirrored motion similar to Brett and do your routine, turning the car on and checking the mirrors and backseat, turning the radio on then pulling up navigation. And as you tuck the closed umbrella against the shotgun seat, you glance back and see Brett scrolling through his phone and glance up to catch your eye and he smiles, waves again cheerily.

Good lord he’s not real. Did Hallmark start back up their cloning company again? It’s not Christmas yet.

You put the car in drive, passing his in the parking lot as you pull out to the main road leading to the highway for your route home. You try not to think of him when you sing along to the radio when the lyrics of love songs catch your throat.

—

Brett sees you alone the next week, not catching an eyeful of you between the rainy day and now. He can’t take his eyes off you and he nearly overflows the coffee cup in his hand in the communal kitchen.

You look so lovely and he’s trying to figure out what you have done with your hair and then the next he knows you are already on your way and walking up to him.

“Hi Brett.”

“Hi!”

He’d shoot himself in the foot if he could.

You look amused at how his tone lifted in pitch when he saw you, bright smile unwavering and shift on your feet. “I wanted to thank you for the other day and wanted to make you something — and it’s completely fine if you don’t like it! I won’t be offended.” You’re lying through your teeth.

Brett flushes crimson, pretty pink on his tanned cheeks and tugs his lip between his teeth, smiling like a child and his eyes get wide with joy, thinking you at least have to like him somewhat to make him something.

“You didn’t have to do that! Going out of your way and everything, but I’m sure I’ll love it. I don’t know how there could be anything you could make that I wouldn’t love.”

While he’s berating himself for almost just confessing all his feelings, you’re trying to not let your heart unravel and pool at your feel like an upturned spool of twine.

You shift and remove your hands from behind your back, revealing a bundle of fabric in this lovely apricot shade. His favorite color — orange. It’s tied with a big bow, one of those wired ones from the craft store, something personal about it that has his tummy seizing and twirling at the same time. God he could cry.

He tunes back in, eyes glancing between the bundle of fabric in your palms and up to your lips that move, and he’s just entranced. Bewitched. Ensnared.

“- like to crochet sometimes, it’s fun and it keeps my hands busy and my mind empty. But I hope you like it, Gigi told me it was your favorite color and I wanted to repay you.”

“Can I hug you?”

“What?”

You quite nearly drop the scarf you made for him when you hear Brett speak and hold yourself back from screaming yes but just manage a nod and a somewhat timid smile, muttering a sure that makes both of your grins wider.

He smells like old spice and old fashioned cologne, like hand cream and coffee, feels like a dream and his arms wrap around you and you want to cling to them and beg him to never let go.

Instead you don’t, you hug him back, and say nothing about the tears that flick at the collar of your shirt’s neckline and how he tugs you so close. You just run a hand through his hair and hum, unworried about the scarf pressed between you and your worries for if you’d ever get to be close to him.

You already were, and with the strong arms wrapped around you, you felt tied and strung to him, utterly hooked. With his head on your shoulder and feeling his watery smile there against your pulse, you had no worries. No loose threads.

You just felt him.

[sillyfairygarden]

fairy once more 🌹 my c!hannah design is complete, full design process is under the cut :)

wrow it has been like 1.5 yr since my first c!hannie drawing 😭 ourgh i love her sosososo much. i really went back n forth on whether or not to actually complete this design, due to my... complicated and strenuous relationship with the dsmp... but after talking it out and going through these pieces i wanted to do it justice one last time :)

without further ado here is a (near-complete) history of my c!hannahxxrose design. i have included text descriptions since my handwriting is notoriously doctoral (bad):

DESIGN EVOLUTION:

In the beginning the design was very simple, and leaned heavily into the popular fanon. [pointing at image of c!hannah with leafy, thick foliage leaves from fall 2021: this was drawn before the event where c!hannah got her wings, aka i'm psychic teehee]

(i didn't really know much about her character, so these aren't tied to the canon and got scrapped!)

[pointing to a design of c!hannah with fairy wings from early 2022: this simple dress was a staple in my early design...]

Post-Elytramaggedeon:

her wings! i think when she lost them, it really drew me into pinning down a design for her. i toyed with the imagery of torn, tattered wings, but then turned to a more melted look. i love the multicolour spread of her wings, through over time her wing shape changes from a butterfly wing to a more dragonfly/fairy-style.

i toyed with the idea of her wings being torn off completely, but at the end it was more true to the imagery to have these massive, multicoloured wings, useless and tattered.

[text beneath a c!tinarose piece from march 2022: first time drawing c!tinarose B) very uninspired outfits. also, why does c!tina have little wings??? The line "he ripped your rings, my little fairy :(" lives in my head rent-free. I wasn't happy with how this came out.]

[text beneath a c!tinarose piece from july 2022: genuinely one of the best pieces i've ever done. c!tinarose nation 4 lyfe ✌️ Really nailed the melty, shredded wing design here!

Design Exploration:

While working on those [above] pieces in 2022, i started exploring different ideas for my c!hannah design.

[text pointing to a sketch from september 2022, where c!hannah has a large, tree-like arm: in this, c!hannah is a flower nymph whose body is apart of nature--the tree arm is borne! i LOVE asymmetrical designs. In my notes, i wrote: 'she draws her energy from nature to heal after losing her wings- in return, nature returns to claim her body... as time goes on, the bark grows.]

Concept: pre-DSMP design:

[text pointing to a sketch of c!hannah kneeling, hair wild with flowers and covered in climbing vines: a rosebush who becomes a girl-in her early days, she is more plant-like than human girl! i loved this hair. so fun.]

Introduction of Armour:

[text beneath multiple drawings of c!hannah from summer 2022, where she is wearing armour: in these sketches, i was feeling the urge to draw some armoured ladies-and so c!hannah became my victim!

i'm always craving sleek, feminine silhouettes in my armoured designs, without turning into battle corsets and bikinis.

at the same time as this, i was in the brainstorming/conceptual stages for other dsmp characters, and i wanted c!hannah to be unique from the generic, full-netherite design.]

Final Design:

A year and a half after my first art of her, and i collected the varying design elements from past pieces into one final concept!

Knightly yet feminine, strong but still wearing (literally) the scars of pain. I wasn't confident in ever finishing this, but then i heard that she gets her wings back after the 2023 """finale""" of the smp... it was time to bring closure to this character design that i have poured a whole part of myself into. This was the final sketch.

[text near a sketch of c!hannah's final design: flower spirit, mix armoured with flowers (utena core).]

for the final piece itself, i wanted to reference the colours of hannah's minecraft skin, while still adding that fantasy-knight element. the wings are trimmed, but still retained that beautiful, multicolour melty look. her tree arm is finally blossoming and blooming with pops of colour, to signify regrowth after the trauma of losing a piece of herself. her insignia is not for any nation, but for herself.

References:

The works of these illustrators greatly guided this design. Additionally, my peers and other artists who have drawn/interpreted c!hannah before <3 feminine, strong designs are so beautiful!

[not pictured are the works of JC Leyendecker, Jasmin Darnell, CLAMP, Thores Shibamoto, and my dear friend zma. their works orbit my head like a ceiling fan whenever i put the pen to paper <3)

a few things didn't end up making the cut (the cape from the final sketch, her other forms and ideas for pre-SMP, etc) but at this point, i am really excited to just stop looking at this piece LOL. it has been staring at me for forever. im very pleased with it and touched something special at seeing my own abilities, ambition, and concept designs grow within my own work. even if no one reads all 213445345 words of this, it's a wonderful capsule of the work i put into this design and im quite pleased.

aneeeways if any1 read this far i hope u like it 🙇 ok im going eepy now gnight ^^

[miitarashi]

Hello~

So I've been thinking about some fluff with Tintin (he lives in my mind rent-free).

I would like to request Tintin with a fem reader who likes to be praised. Just like, she tries hard to work well during the day and does everything quietly. So at the end of the day she likes someone to pat her on the head and just tell her that she did a good job. She doesn't say she likes it, but Tintin notices.

Only do this if you can and want to, thank you! And forgive me if this seems a little confusing, English is not my first language.

Owww,this is so cute tho. Such a cute thing need to be writed! And don't worry,english is not my first language either and i understood pretty well,you're doing a good job so far at learning! I'm proud of you unknow person. 😌❤️

[Name] = reader (female)

Warnings: none,just cuteness

Prompt: You're a hardworking person who loves headpats.

When you met Tintin for the first time, you we're working on the local library taking this opportunity to study on your breaks because you wanted to apply for a position as an assistant to a local historian you greatly admired. Because of it, the subject you were studying was something that Tintin was needing more informations of,so he asked for your help, becoming friends ever since.

Consequently, he ended up watching your dedication for the position you was applying for. He saw your eyes focused on your notebooks and books, the post-it notes on your wall to help you remember important things when he come to a quick visit, even finding it cute when you turned up your nose when you saw something you didn't understand or pressed your lips together when you tried to put the pieces together to help him with his new article.

But the top 1 was definitely the happy smile and light blush that covered your cheeks when someone pats you on the head. Even if you didn't say it, it was pretty obvious when you did, you kept quiet because you didn't want to draw so much attention. However the journalist discovered it and waited for the right moment to do so, which was precisely when you applied to be an assistant to this historian who you greatly admired.

The day of the decision came and went, Tintin found it a little strange not having a reaction from you about the result so he decided to stop by your apartement when he was free and after a few minutes of conversation about that new article, he casually asked:

"Oh,[Name],did you already got the results of your application?"

"Hm? Oh yes,i got it yesterday and will be working with him by tomorrow" — his eyes widen a bit in surprise,mostly by the nonchalant tone you tried to say it,but still feeling that animated subtone.

"Well,by how much you worked hard for it,i would be surprised if you didn't get it" — he chuckle a bit,letting a small sigh and finally he could do it.

His hand reach the top of your head giving some pats in a caring way,smilling when that cute smirk appeared on your lips along with the tiny blush he adore so much to see,he would even hug and kiss your forehead if he could because you deserve it and even more,however he didn't want to cross any bondaries or end up making things awkaward by this sudden act.

"I'm really proud of you [Name],you worked really hard for it"

"Thank you Tintin" — you said looking back at him,smilling happily. His eyes soften,taking his time to just look at you cute face before looking away a bit.

"Your welcome and from now on,i guess i'll be having an even more capable help on my researchs."

"Yes,i'm really looking forward for it"

"..Me too" — he said in a light,careful dreamy tone almost, watching your little excited squirm making sure to keep this memory in his heart.

You both smiled,quite excited as you will start your dream job and Tintin will keep his little excuse to stay close and having your help on his cases. A win is a win.

————————————————————————

A/N: there it is,a cute request fresh out of the oven! (Yes i know,it's a bit short) And sorry for the delay,i literally forgot to post on the last sunday :( but! I already have some good ideas and some special things being prepared~ so just wait a little,i promise y'all will not disappointed! Hope you liked unknow person! Thanks for reading!

[wilhelmsbee]

Okay honestly? I'll just take you up on that offer because I'm obsessed with your edits in general, but if you ever feel like talking some more about that Wilhelm edit you did to the song Ribs by Lorde??? Would love that because that edit lives rent-free in my head! (no pressure though, I just like the idea of like... director's commentary or something for edits haha)

I HOPE EVERYONE IS READY FOR ME TO BE INSANELY DEEP ABOUT THIS EDIT OH MY GOD

preface: i talk ab why i chose each scene for the lyrics, then colouring/font, idk if this is the directors commentary you wanted but like this is how I think about all my edits

We're reeling through the midnight streets- initially, I actually wanted to start it on the this dream isn't feeling sweet line but it just didn't fit in instagrams 1-minute time frame ANYWAY This scene has always been the most painful to me. Wilhelm realises at this moment that he's truly, undeniably alone in his life. Everyone he trusts (or is supposed to trust) has left him, and he has nobody left to go to. He's alone, going through his own personal hell, finding out his only family cares more about public perception than him as a person. It's like the beginning of the worst spiral we see from Wilhelm. Its quite a literal scene-to-lyric moment, but also the we're part feels (to me) like him-as-well-as his public self. Crown Prince Wilhelm and Wille are such separate parts, and its all he has left.

And I've never felt more alone- The THERAPY SCENE! Specifically this is the I think it's better not knowing how it could feel scene, because that truly is the most heartbreaking viewpoint I've ever seen from a character. It was better not being in love because I couldn't miss it. He might be getting closer to the other boys in the secret society, as well as Felice, but he's not really breaking past the surface level with anyone. Not even Felice knows the depths of his pain, he keeps it all to himself. The loneliness crushes him, he wishes he didn't know how love felt. As far as he's concerned, he's never loving someone else again (true) and he's never going to be able to love Simon again (false). In this moment there's this feeling of emptiness. He has nothing he actually cares about, and he wishes that he never cared in the first place.

It feels so scary, getting old- He wasn't supposed to fill this role, giving a speech as the Crown Prince of Sweden about his brother's passing. Wilhelm's character (obviously) fundamentally switches after Erik's death. He used to be a lot sillier, more reckless and more willing to fight back against his parents. But now he's got every single eye on him, watching him. Put into an adult role at the age of sixteen, forced to carry the burden of spare his whole childhood, then suddenly forced to be the sole heir. Even if he had planned to maybe one day be the heir (which he didn't, judging by the he should be here instead of me comment) it wasn't supposed to happen until he was older and wiser. He stops acting like a kid because he can't be a kid anymore. The cuts between the frog/getting the frog/breaking the globe aimed to emphasise this. He's lost all connection to his brother, he's in a place he didn't expect to be until he was extremely old (if ever), and he's lost control of his own life.

We can talk it so good, we can make it so divine, we can talk it good how we wish it would be all the time- I wanted to frame Simon in this as a sort of healthy distraction for Wilhelm. He was the only person in his life who actually looked out for him and cared. They're happy and they're smiling, all the clips are intimate even if there's someone else there. It highlights how they care. It's good, it's divine. It's what kept him happy after the hardest thing in his life (so far). In this edit, he desperately wants it back because he knows how much it helped. It was the only bright thing he had. The cutting to Wilhelm alone in s2 after how we wish it would be all the time just aims to really enforce that he wished it was still like that, wishing for someone who truly cared and loved him. It's all yearning, pining, wishing things were better. Every single clip is a clip in which Wilhelm has been pining over Simon. There's an ache he expresses that was just so, so important to this edit.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- Lots of clips of Wilhelm trying to process things. He's been forced to change his entire life, after all being a prince is a privilege, not a punishment. The 'dream' of being royal crushes him, despite the fact he can't ever voice it. Walking down the halls of his castle, sitting in his private boarding school therapy session with an actual therapist, being driven home in a private car from the party where he was filmed fighting. These luxuries juxtaposed with his actual circumstances hurt. He can't complain because he's got it best in the country, but it isn't a system designed for him, it doesn't want to help him, it wants to make him conform. It isn't fair, but he can't say that.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- He's forcing himself to try and fit the mould while also being himself, and all it causes is pain. He's actively fighting against the institution he was raised in simply by existing. The panic attack from being perceived holding Simon's hand. Deleting his contact after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.' Trying to play nice at the dinner table even though his whole life was crumbling around him and the institution was failing everyone even though nobody believed him. The panic attack/anxiety vomit from Simon going public, against Wilhelm's institution, knowing that he might not be able to protect him. He's got no control in any of these scenes, its a desperate fight against himself. He's a publicity risk to his own family if he is true to himself, and he's a risk to himself if he isn't.

And I've never felt more alone- Desperately trying to comfort himself when nobody else can (or wants to) comfort him. After the fight at the party all his family cared about was the PR response. When August said that Simon would take the fall for the drugs, all he cared about was getting Alexander back. During the uniform tailoring, all Jan-Olof cared about was tradition and making Simon as background as he could. When Wilhelm gave up meditating to soothe his anxiety, he was upset at his inability to calm down, despite the fact he's never been given an opportunity to be calm. Nobody really knows about his mental health struggles, he just has to fight through them and desperately try to self-soothe. Nobody else will comfort him after all.

It feels so scary getting old- Each of these scenes show Wilhelm being viewed as his role instead of being viewed as a person. He clearly struggles with being viewed as just the Crown Prince of Sweden, especially since that was never supposed to be his role, so of course it hurts when he's viewed as just a pawn in the Royal Family. Especially from people he loves. Yes, it was undeniably hard when he first became the Crown Prince, and it absolutely would've crushed him to know that when he had a panic attack he couldn't be alone. But these scenes are interlaced with him being viewed as a political pawn by Simon and his mother. People he loves, people he trusts. He's just a public statement to his mother, and he's just a human representation of the Crown to Simon (in these scenes not in general ofc). He's never going to be able to be his own person again, because he's got a country to run when he grows up and a public image to form between now and then.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- The lyrics are now getting more compounding, it's louder and it's closer. He's fighting to be heard, he's being ripped off of his desk, he's forcing down a panic attack because he needs to be happy for Simon. His emotions aren't allowed, he can't feel anything negative so he won't feel anything at all. Nothing in his life feels good anymore, so he's fighting the losing battle to just try to break even. Nobody would dream of this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. He can't even voice that, though.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- Now he's reminiscing about when things were easier, but they weren't, really. Yes, the placard was there the night he first kissed Simon, but that was also the beginning of the horrific realisation he wasn't built for the world he is forced to live in. His mother says 'no more mistakes' and he already knows it means he has to leave Simon. When that doesn't work and it all falls out, he's left to try and clean his own image up by nailing the closet shut with every fibre of his being. His life wasn't better, he's grasping for anything to show him life will be okay again. Everything has crumbled and now he's got nothing, so he yearns for when he had something, even if it was just something to lose.

And I've never felt more alone- He is constantly left. Something that isn't brought up enough is how often he's just abandoned. He has no one to talk to, he's forced to work through his struggles alone because his existence is political and any sign of weakness being public could reflect badly on his family. He becomes the embodiment of the Prince he could never be. Walking to the lake and reminiscing about when he would be happy there. Being left alone by his brother, who didn't even reply to him asking to say hi to his mother and father, who he then never sees in person again. Then wearing his brother's jacket. He's alone, and all he does is pine for a time when he wasn't. All he wants to do is go back and do it all again, and he can't. But he also can't move forward, he doesn't want to, he doesn't know how.

It feels so scary- Only two scenes so I'll discuss 'em one by one: -At Erik's funeral, there's a more literal fear of getting old. I don't want to repeat myself more than I already have but obviously, that forced Wilhelm to grow up and be more mature, and act like a Crown Prince instead of just the Prince. More attention, less room for error. He's terrified of fucking it up, and there's nobody who can help him. -The breakup scene is more metaphorical. He has to grow up and figure out what he wants to do with his life, while also having to grow to understand what he actually has the ability to do with his life. He's not ready to do this because he wants things to be good and happy but it was ripped away from him. He can't just pretend everything is alright anymore, but the amount of maturing he needs to do seems impossible at this moment, especially knowing he was in love with a boy when he wasn't allowed to be. He tries to be both a Prince and Wilhelm and all it did was betray his boyfriend's trust.

getting old- Wilhelm shutting his computer and pressing his hands to his eyes. It's exhausting. He's exhausted. Constantly working to try and be who he's supposed to be as well as being himself and trying to navigate his emotions in a vulnerable state is just too much. He can't carry it all, so he just gives up for a moment. It all goes quiet, but not in a good way. When you're that overwhelmed, the lack of anything just leaves more room to spiral.

FONT CHOICES

Intro: literally my handwriting. I wanted this to feel personal and almost like a desperate written plea to go back to when it was good, and what's more personal than my own handwriting am I right!!!

First chorus loop: Magazine font, it's in pieces and it doesn't match. There's a sporadic chaos, like he's beginning to feel it but it isn't there yet. The text isn't fully opaque, it's in front of him. We're seeing it before he does in this context. Trying to reflect how the media knows things before he does, like his brothers death, the tape leaking, all that good stuff.

Second chorus loop: Big, Bold, Unavoidable! I rotobrushed Wilhelm in every scene so that the text could be intertwined with him. He can't escape the reality of his situation, he is getting crushed by these feelings. The song gets louder and more claustrophobic, the text is in the scenes with him. It haunts him, it's everywhere. When he closes the laptop and it all goes silent, its not relaxing, it just makes you anxious in a different way.

COLOURING

I actually chose the blues from the intro scene, mainly in the night sky bit of the frame. Also! All the happy Wilmon scenes have a higher saturation, though you can't tell because of how I did the colouring. It just results in them being a little bit brighter, because things were good then and I believe it should feel good then, too.

[afreakingdork]

This is a bit embarrassing to admit and I’ve been putting off sending an ask for weeks, but seeing as Weak Spot is almost complete I figured it’s now or never; I daydream about the world you’ve created all the time, it’s like my go-to happy place in my head. Before I say anything I just wanna make sure you know I’m not asking you to write this, Weak Spot is your story and I already know what you have planned will make me weep on another Saturday morning. I just really want to share my thoughts because your story has been living in my head rent free like ever since I binge read 1-39 in one weekend. Do you think it’s possible that Donnie and Chester will ever meet again? I’ve been imagining what a wedding chapter might be like since 45 and my favourite ‘what if;’ I’ve come up with is what if Y/N were to send an invitation to Chester? I think I just really want Chester to see how much Donnie has grown and give him that ✨approval of a parental figure✨ he so craves. Perhaps the invitation being instrumented exclusively on Y/N’s behalf as a surprise for Don? I really wanna know what you might think 人´∀｀)

Oh gosh, no need to be embarrassed because I do the same thing! It's literally how I come up with all my little ideas! I really appreciate you sharing this and I'm proud of you for being brave to do so.

Narratively, it doesn't make sense for Donnie to meet Chester again sadly. Sometimes you bounce of people in your life and the interactions don't go the way you want. That doesn't mean that because you had to part ways that they weren't important. Sometimes those people you meet in blips are the most important of all (exactly why Sandwich Spot exists, but outside the main story because while it helps point the exact moment Donnie realized life existed outside of himself, it's not something reader will ever know firsthand, but they do know it because it shaped how Donnie is now).

So Donnie will never see Chester again, but that being said... I couldn't help but be inspired by what you wrote. so please, have this gift...

A moment in time in the not so far flung future that may or may not happen in Soft Spot:

He was getting too old for this.

"Come now! Violet can walk herself." Chester urged.

Or Harry had a point.

"But, pop-pop! She's so slow!" Jade whined where she was pulling her little sister.

Those morning swim classes were looking more and more appealing.

Violet pulled back on the arm that was wrenched in her sister's grasp.

Harry had been more spry since he started attending.

"What was it you were teaching me about sayings?" Chester tried a new tactic.

Meanwhile, Chester had only gotten lazier in retirement.

"Oh!" Jade lit up and let go to think with her entire body. "Let's see..."

His chair sat him so well, though.

Violet righted herself from where she toppled over and took a breath.

He'd always thought with his first grandchild getting older, he'd have to do less lifting.

"It's the one about the cow!" Jade hopped.

With the second, however, it had doubled his required strength.

"Close... How about another animal?" Chester smiled.

He wouldn't trade them for the world though.

This time recognition came to Jade with a slow glow. "You lead a horse to water..."

What a happy life he had the honor of living.

"But..." Chester nodded for her to continue.

Violet got herself onto her two feet and took a few shuffling steps toward him.

He prepared for that weight on his hips and held his hands out ready for her.

"You can't make him drink..." Jade curled a finger to her lips. "So with Vi...?"

With a grunt and groan, Chester got Violet up in his arms.

The little one curled against him, fatigued.

The park was a big, exciting world for a toddler.

"It means..." Chester paused in case Jade wanted to come to the conclusion herself.

Instead, her eyes shined as she stared up at him, ready for the answer.

"You can do everything in your power to help someone, but you can't force them to accept it." He explained.

Jade took a few steps toward him and pondered so hard it made her forehead scrunch up.

She was adorable.

A huge stock of black fabric passed by like a moving obelisk.

It pulled Chester's eye where he readjusted Violet's load.

It wasn't an inanimate object, but a long black coat.

It donned a very tall man who moved to the other side of the playground.

There, he found a spot to stop and in a turn revealed a blotch of green.

Topped with a shock of rich purple.

Eyes wide and free hand suddenly flapping anxiously for Jade's, Chester felt himself pale.

Donatello.

He hadn't seen the boy in years.

After the first few, Chester had been left to hope that Donatello had only taken his advice.

Despite the bitter end, he wished him nothing, but the best.

Donatello spoke.

Too far away and with a bustling park between them, there was no way Chester could hear.

What he could do was look down.

Where a joyful, albeit tired looking counterpart animatedly responded.

Chester's lips parted.

The second person then looked down before offering something up.

A small bundle whose lavender blanket wriggled to reveal another, much, much smaller green mutant.

Donatello took the baby and brought the child up to his face to coo something.

The older mutant's eyes gleamed.

Chester knew that look.

The one that topped eye bags as deep as canyons.

It was one he once sported.

It was the one his son-in-law now wore.

It was the look of a new father.

The way they looked at their own.

Donatello had a partner.

Donatello had a child.

"What's wrong, pop-pop?" Jade's voice broke in, thunderous amongst the many others.

Chester looked down and felt the tears streaking his cheeks.

He only gave a bright smile and continued to hold his hand out.

Jade took it and continued to stare up at him. "Are you hungry? Vi cries when she's hungry. Let's get you some lunch!"

Chester nodded and moved to leave the park with Jade in tow. "That sounds wonderful."

[bookhighlightss]

Twisted series book review

☆ Twisted Love

1. This book was amazing. The plot twists will blow your brains out.

2. Alex Volkov. That's it. Just him. Like he is just amazing.

3. Pretty words and pretty faces don't equal pretty souls. This line. This. Freaking. Line. It had me crying.

4. Also the way he just walked her home for a year without them talking.....AAAAHHHH just everything in this book was amazing.

5. In book 2, 3 and 4 there relationship just was so pretty even if they were there for like 1 page.

☆ Twisted Games

1. I love the whole bodyguard princess thing like I'm here for it.

2. I read this book 1 year ago I don't remember the details well but I loved Rhys and Bridget.

3. The whole you and me against the world, princess was just so sweet and cute and asfkjhjilw

4. I love how Bridget just overall slays with her feminine energy as Queen and shit like slayyyyy

☆ Twisted Hate

1. Okay this book was hilarious. There were so many funny scenes and their back and forth bickering was just everything.

2. I also loved how josh and Alex became friends again in this book like we all knew they were gonna but the whole conversation was epic and alex asking for permission to marry ava was just beautiful.

3. The possibility of you is better than the reality of anyone else. This quote people it was just amazing. I was like dayum I need to take two minutes and scream.

4. Overall the plot was actually pretty lit in this book but the one thing I didn't like about this book was how they fucked every two pages literally but they were kinda friends with benefits but I'm a hopeless romantic so when I was expecting a cute angry confession I got an angry sex....

5. I also love how they actually struggle with money lowkey because all the other book the characters were loaded with cash so that was a bit realistic yk

☆ Twisted Lies

1. Omg when I tell you this book was perfection I mean this book was perfection. It was like Ana huang took all the critics and molded this book into perfection. It was everything.

2. The way Christian was obsessed with her from the moment he saw her but never labelled it as love but just everything he did was wow. I will worship this man he's amazing.

3. Touch another man, he dies. Let another man touch you, he dies. Tell me I can't touch you...and I die. This had me in a chokehold I was like.....AAAAHHHHHHHHH

4. Also the way all the other 3 men just made fun of Christian and the scenes where all the characters were together was just really funny.

5. I love how Christian was always there for Stella and supported her ❤ like asjdhrkjdhsk

Overall all the books are amazing. These people live rent free in my head. But the fact that all of them got a happy ending and are successful and shit is like probably the fakest shit ever but then again it's books so eh. But on a real note photographer, queen, lawyer and fashion designer like are ya kidding me??? And the diversity their friend group has like Asian, European, American like wow. I have to say I'm not a huge fan of the smut in the book but then again that's just my personal opinion a lot of other people loved the smut tho so idk. And can we talk about how all of them have the prettiest names ever??! My most to least favorite book would be

Twisted lies

Twisted love

Twisted hate

Twisted games

My most favourite to least favourite twisted men would be

Christian harper

Rhys Larsen

Alex volkov

Josh chen ( his I lied thing just set me off)

My most favourite to least favourite twisted women would be

Ava chen

Jules ambrose

Stella Alonso

Bridget von ascheberg ( I don't like her being last but I love those three way more )

[writingmysanity]

Sanctuary (Part 1)

@grumpyoutlaw so this... this is what you inspired me to write. i hope you like it. took longer than expected but hey... it got written. i hope your happy with your art living rent free in my head xD "Grumpy made me do it."

Word count: 2791

Pairing: Viktor x Botanist!reader

TW: talk about illness, thinking about death. shit happens, yall.

Master list next>

“How long do I have?” 

The silence that has surrounded those words continues to stretch. Friends refuse to match his gaze. Co-workers barely look his way. Professors’ look on in pity. 

But none have the answer. Those five syllables fumbling into the depths of the void.

The only wrinkle of normalcy has been the lab. His lab. 

And now, Jayce is standing before the door, concern etched into his very being as he tries to stand tall, purposely pushing his shoulders back. Had anyone else seen such a display, they would have thought he was trying to intimidate his friend. And in a way, he was.

“You’re taking the day off.” Viktor scoffs, leaning heavily on his cane.

“Non-sense. There is work to do.” His friend nods slowly, softening, shoulders slumping just slightly. Viktor can see the war going on behind his eyes. He is afraid to take away his best friend’s one focus, his drive- his will to live. But he needs rest. 

“And the problems will still be there when you get back,” frowning, viktor straitens. Jayce does too, offering a smile to try and diffuse the energy accumulating between them both. “Unless I solve them first.” It's a jest, a tease. And while Viktor is attempting to be angry that something, or rather someone, is standing in his way of progress, he can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips. 

“For… How long?” Jayce, he realizes, is just doing what he can to show him that he cares. Perhaps he can follow along, for now. After all, all things are temporary. Jayce visibly relaxes, a hand clapping down on his shoulder, an easy smile lighting up his features. 

“Two days a week,” before he can complain, Jayce holds a hand up. “Mandatory. You can't talk me out of it.” huffing, Viktor nods. 

“Any other… mandatory restrictions?” He almost hates how the rueful smile on his friends face makes him crack. He cares. How long has it been since someone cared?

“Mandatory lunch and dinner breaks.” he states, nodding to himself. “No less than an hour, preferably two- but I'm flexible.” snorting, Viktor looks away, taking a deep steading breath.

“And if I refuse?” there isn't even a beat.

“I'll change the locks.” tone flat and even, leaving no room for negotiation. Fighting the frown that threatens to perpetually etch itself into his skin, he sighs.

“And what will I do with these… mandatory days off?” leaning back against the wall, jayce gives him a non committal shrug.

“Up to you, Vik. Rest is usually customary on days off. You should try it.” 

Slowly, Viktor just turns on his heel as he heads back in the opposite direction, towards his room. As he starts to walk, Jayce keeps talking, though making no moves to follow his friend.

“Read a book?” he can hear the smile in his voice. Annoying. “Go out and smell the roses… literally. It's spring- and there's a new botanist in town. I hear she's a miracle worker.” he calls out as Viktor rounds the corner, his voice now muffled to a distant cry. 

He very nearly makes it all the way to his room before something catches his eye. The fountain, normally quite bland, polished marble with the signature piltover golden trim, stands vibrant. Color seems to reflect off of the smooth surface, new beds wrapped around the lip, melting into new benches- one on each side. Brilliant blues and yellows making the spot seem to have more life than he had ever seen at the academy. Hesitating, he grumbles to himself a bit before making his way over to the new bench.

Perhaps a little sun will be good for him.

Breathing deeply, he melts into the bench, the gentle breeze catching the delicate scents lingering in the midmorning air- fresh baked breads and the ever persistent floral smell that seems to encircle him. The sun shines just above him, the gentle warmth helping ease the stiffness of his joints as he listens to those around him scurry along about their day. 

Eyes fluttering open, he spares a look around, curiously. Surely this isn't the only area that has been upgraded. 

For once, the sun's gaze isn't reflected back at him from the glossy towers arching well above his head as nearly every surface has some sort of color splashed across its gleaming surface, in every color he can imagine. So many blooms that he can't hope to figure out all of their names, but they were beautiful. 

He doesnt stop the easy smile that stretches across his face as he rises slowly, eager suddenly to see more. Bending slightly, leaning into his cane, he allows himself a deeper breath, fingers tracing over the petals delicately. The softness of them almost startles him.

Slowly, he straightens again, glancing around. Not far from him is another station, a tight grouping of tables set out to enjoy the sunshine after the last of winter melted away- students and faculty needing to dethaw. Delicate bunches perched atop each table leave a lingering sense of tranquility as movement around them refuses to cease. Humming contently to himself, he follows the line of flowers. The further he wanders into the city, the more ornate the arrangements get. Bluish veins cascade down from roof tops, brilliant pink blossoms fluttering in the breeze. At his feet, the blooms begin to get bigger, and bigger. Until many are the size of his hands, and one, the size of his head. Perhaps larger, he realizes as he drags his fingertips over each of the petals and leaves, relishing in the different textures. 

The further he follows the waves of colorful flowers, the older the buildings get, many having begun to fall into neglectful disrepair, chipped walls and concave roofing tiles hidden behind a forest of plants. 

Pausing, he looks around, a thought striking him- he is standing in the original town square. There are no fountains, no expensive polished trims. White doesn't dominate every surface, nor do any of the surfaces gleam. The walls are muted, browning with age, crumbling stones allowing for ivy sprouts to wriggle through the holes, breathing new life into the lifeless buildings long abandoned in the name of progress. 

Slowly, he raises a hand to the wall lifting well over his head, its own bones beginning to crumble- walls long faded, letting his fingertips trace over the once brilliant murals that adorned the sides, paint crumbling to dust under his touch until his fingers meet stems. Rivers of Ivy fall in waves over his head, swaying limply in the wind as he stands paralized by his own realizations. He, like these buildings, were built for great things. And they will both fall into ruin, together. And soon enough, no one will remember that they ever existed. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he leans forward, allowing his forehead to rest on the crumbling surface, the wooden beams creaking at the added weight, no matter how slight, screaming at him to leave them be. 

Laughter echoes around him suddenly, breaking him from his thoughts. Lifting his head, he stares in the direction of the sound, brows pinching in confusion. He had been the only one around here. Or had he been so preoccupied that he simply did not see them there? 

Just a bit further up the street, he figures, is the building he has been looking for. Standing proud despite its age and weakened bones, it is bursting with life. Large walls round out to arching roofs, windows lining the entirety of the front, nearly reaching the height of the walls. A large set of stone steps lead to the slightly crumbling foundation, large ornate columns guarding the thick framed doors, propped open invitingly. Green has very nearly covered every inch of the exterior of the building, rows of rose bushes pressed against the foundation and the steps. Ivies of every variety and color wrapping around the railings, threatening to spill over onto the steps themselves. Spirals of vining flowers encase the archway, wrapping around the windows as several varieties of flowers seem to simply spill out of the open space. 

Keeping a decent grip on the railing while attempting to not completely crumble the stems beneath his hand, he makes his way up the stairs. There are more than he anticipated, feeling very near out of breath simply from climbing them. Now that he is on the platform though, he can see the variety of potted plants lining the ancient marbled railings, large palm leaves just beginning to reach the height of the railings themselves. Turning to the doors, he pauses, blinking at the rusting plate adorned next to the entrance.

Council

Humming in curiosity, he slides past the doors, barely taking in the gilding and intricate carvings, ornate flowers that had once been painted vibrant colors now faded to the dull brown as the rest of the door. 

Beyond the door is, all things considered, what he imagined life would be like in the city. There are groups of people wandering about, laughter and conversation echoing against the walls looming several stories above his head. To his left are groups of tables, much like those he had seen out in the square not too long ago, but older. Iron seats painted black instead of the brilliant white he had grown accustomed to. Benches seem to line the walls, large potted plants nestled securely between each of the seats. Although, life here seems to have slowed down. People have nowhere to be. They simply exist between the walls. 

Lifting his gaze slowly, he marvels at the murals etched into the walls, brilliant pictures staring down at him as if scrutinizing his every move, illuminated by the rows of sunlight filtering in from above, broken sky lights creating fractured patterns on the floor below. Greens, pinks and blues stand vibrant against the walls, adding to the beauty of the architecture. 

Across from him is another set of doors, propped open wide like the front doors have been. On the other side, he notices, it is nothing but green. Curiously, he makes his way through the slow moving throngs of people, allowing himself to pause at the doors to take a deep breath, eyes fluttering at the motion. He can smell nothing but the deep grounding scent of freshly stirred earth and the ever growing sweet lingering scent of the flowers surrounding him. Lifting his hand to the door, he allows himself to inspect the carvings this time, rather enjoying the way his fingertips bob through the grooves along its surface. The door itself is thick- perhaps as thick as Jayce's head, he muses, chuckling to himself, knocking on the wood fondly, relaxing as the sound reverberates through the small area. 

Turning to look out over the greenery, he nearly laughs at the sheer amount. In the back of the small lot of land is a large greenhouse, large panel glass panes rising several stories above his head, vibrant blooms and tangles of stems pressing to every part of the glass, quite literally overflowing from the front doors that, like those of the old council building, are wide open. Between the two buildings may as well be an arboretum, large canopies of trees very nearly hiding the building itself, cherry vines swinging from their branches, tucked in loosely so as to not lose their spot. 

Taking another deep breath, he migrates down to one of the many benches, nearly throwing himself onto the surface, slumping back. There are less people outside, giving him the opportunity to take in his surroundings uninterrupted. There are several paths around the garden, he realizes. Cut through the underbrush, laid like ancient cobblestone, a technique he can imagine they used when building Piltover from the ground up. Only these stones are new. The path under his feet leads to a grouping of trees he's never seen, each bearing a different fruit hanging dangerously low as to tempt those who pass through their branches to take a bite. In fact, many of the trees bear fruit, most he has never seen before. 

Surrounding the base of many trees are bushes. Shootings of the same tree trying to expand its territory at first glance, but he realizes soon that those too are fruit bearing bushes meant to accompany the tree for support. Humming contently, he leans back, watching several butterflies bounce from bush to bush, the high pitched chirping of birds dancing in the branches above his head, occasionally swooping down as if to show off. 

Sighing softly, he all but melts into the seat, eyes sliding closed of their own accord as silence washes over him- voices and the deep hum of the earth becoming nothing more than background static. The warmth of the afternoon sun warms his limbs, soaking all the way to his bones, easing the pain that has accompanied his existence for as long as he can remember. Boneless and tired, he doses off. 

The sound of metal scraping dirt rouses him, the distinct sound happening once more, accompanied by a voice, barely a murmur behind him. Lurching forward, suddenly awake, he blinked owlishly forward, forgetting where he was. Turning slowly, he meets the eyes of another, widened in shock, your body seemingly suspended in time, frozen in place half standing, knees bent- as if attempting to stand. Your hair is tied back into a ponytail, loosened by movement. You become acutely aware that you're covered in dirt, the once wet matter pulling taught against your cheek. Neither of you move for several beats before you clear your throat, offering him a small smile, quickly wiping your hands against your pant legs repeatedly, turning your eyes from his, swallowing trying not to think about how his eyes remind you of the sun flowers you are planting, golden and bright. 

“I, uh..” you hum, fighting against your nerves before steeling yourself, turning to meet his eyes again. Even in his seated position, you're not much taller than him, you realize, as he barely has to look up to keep your gaze. “I'm sorry for startling you.” 

He just blinks slowly, eyebrows furrowing, like he is trying to find words, himself. As if realizing he hasn't answered you, he shakes his head quickly, dispelling any lingering thoughts, offering instead a small smile of his own. “No problem, that is what happens when you fall asleep in public, eh?” you smile a bit, rounding the bench slowly, rolling your shoulders. 

“Well, it is ill-advised at best.” he chuckles, motioning for you to sit, which you do, quickly realizing that you hadnt sat since you started out first thing this morning. There is silence for a moment before he glances behind the both of you curiously. 

“You are… the gardener?” stifling a snort, you instead match his gaze again, smiling with more confidence this time. 

“Botanist.” breaking eye contact to glance around, you can't help but feel pride at the sheer amount of work you have been able to complete in the time given.

“You… did this?” he motions to your surroundings slowly, pausing to admire a butterfly that had landed on his thigh, slowing his movements so as to not startle it. Grinning, you nod. 

“I did, this is my baby.” you laugh softly, picking at your fingernails, flicking the dirt away. He looks at you with silent awe, lips parted slightly, eyes wide- more emotions flickering there than you've seen on anyones face since you migrated your way to piltover. 

“It is incredible.” sitting up straighter, preening at the praise, you beam up at him.

“Thank you, that means all of my hard work has been worth it.”

Silence washes over you both, watching as the sunlight filters through the branches above, softening the lighting. Realization hits you a few minutes later that you had not introduced yourself. You catch his attention as you sit up quickly, hand starting to shoot out politely until you catch sight of the sheer amount of dirt still caked on your skin before quickly retracting it, rubbing at your pant leg again. Sputtering for a moment you cough to dispel the embarrassment, sending him another soft smile. Brilliant, ever watchful eyes stay on you, amusement dancing in them like a flame. Without hesitation, he offers his hand, a softer motion than your own. 

“I am Viktor,” he offers, watching as you hesitate, not wanting to be rude. He chuckles again, head tilting to the side slightly. “If i was afraid of a little dirt i would not have found myself in your garden, miss…?” smiling back up at him, you take his hand, relaxing significantly.

“Call me Nym.”

_____

@queenxxxsupreme i am told this is better reading lol.

I uh, if anyone wants to be in a tag for my arcane stuff... send a message or comment or something?

[moe-broey]

Was there a particular moment where the characters of FEH really sunk their claws in for you?

For me personally was the half a body, half a mind page from the silly little side comic (aka where Robin asks Kiran if Alfonse is their other half and they chose to interpret that very literally). The revelation that Alfonse and Kiran’s dynamic switches who has the braincell in the prince/tactician dynamic was eye opening. And then the follow up of Sharena being fucking gobsmacked that local introvert prince managed to S rank Kiran was beautiful 10/10 makes me both happy and sad. And from then on the brain rot has been STRONG. No thoughts head empty only these lil guys.

Oughgh I'VE. BEEN RUMINATING ON THIS.... (which is. Why it took so long for me to respond to LMFAOO)

BUT.... first of all YOUR INTERPRETATION. OF THE "Half a body, half a mind" bit is HUGE. Like you're so right, there is a lot of symbolism there even if it's silly!!! And esppp Sharena's reaction to Alfonse making a close friend, so easily in her eyes... that absolutely would be a sleeper agent thing for me actually. Like. I wouldn't consider it until Much later, and when I did it just never left my mind.

And I think that's the thing!! I've actually been having a lot of trouble, trying to pinpoint exactly Where each took such a strong hold on me LMFAO. I think, because it's this gradual and constant process of taking in information, noticing something Odd, re-examining, re-contextualizing, and gaining new perspective.

It def happened quicker w Alfonse though, cause he's actually much easier to read. Immediately you can tell his words and actions aren't matching up, and through that you can tell his feelings aren't matching his words either. You also see the clear reason Why he's Like That, on. Several different levels.

I think.... the lines of dialogue that always stick with me. His entire level 40 convo. I'm always thinking about it. I'll often revisit it. And, a lot of his lines to or about the summoner: "Please, remain with us, [summoner]?", "Or... is it that reality has been reshaped by my fear of having lost [summoner]?"

BUT, I think. What really got me was actually his Forging Bonds with Dieck. Like at this point I was already in way too deep LMFAO BUT. Dieck's fucking dialogue fucked me up SO much actually

I AM LITERALLY ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING DIALOGUE ‼️‼️‼️‼️It REALLY opened my eyes AND put words to something that was Constantly nagging at me. How Alfonse, from the very start, will say one thing, and then. Directly contradict himself. Not because he's disingenuous -- but because he's so split in two.

AND. AUGHHGH!! THAT'S!!!! You think he's so reserved, and he is. But he wears his heart on his sleeve and will talk openly with anyone who will listen. You think he's the cool and collected type, he OFTEN leaves people with that impression. But SO many times he acts rashly, with little regard for himself. He claims, he can't be driven by emotion because those driven by emotion cannot rule. BUT HE. IS. SUCH A PAINFULLY EMOTIONAL CHARACTER. Almost EVERYTHING he does is driven by his emotions -- I absolutely think so much about how he has a bit of a temper on him, and I think about all the little ways he so clearly and deeply loves Sharena, I think about how much of a mess he is over Bruno, I think about just how quickly he warmed up to the summoner despite insisting upon keeping his distance. Hell, you think he's like. This very serious guy. And he is! Aaand then next thing you know he's dug a ditch and he's thrown himself into it and he's covered in mud. AND. THE WILDEST PART OF THAT. Is the Way he does it, the reason Why, it. Tracks. Like yeah. He would do that. That's actually not out of character for him.

(ALSO as a side his Forging Bonds w f!Alear also live in my head rent free -- another instance of, taking a step back and re-evaluating. It was actually so refreshing in a way? You get used to just how warm he is with the summoner, that you forget just how cold he can be too. That's ALSO something I'm so not normal about. The asshole tendencies. The coldness, and the ruthlessness. It's subtle, but There. He does have a harsher side to him.)

AND ALL OF THIS....... still only feels like the tip of the iceberg. But literally I will never shut up about it LMFAOOO I GOTTA. BECAUSE. SHARENA‼️‼️‼️

I think actually I have an easier time pinning down where I started having Thoughts about her. Because, I made the same mistake a lot of charas in-universe make, even Alfonse, himself. Assuming, that just because she's outgoing and friendly, that she has an easier time making friends. When like. Really, it's been present the whole time actually -- from that FEH comic, to the Paralogues featuring Katarina, like. She doesn't. She struggles just as much, if not more.

But I think, the exact point I actually internalized this was in her Forging Bonds w f!Byleth. Like. Those convos REALLY make it clear, so much so I felt stupid for not even seeing that sooner. And, it helped me re-contextualize her level 40 convo also! When I first got that dialogue, I really didn't know what to make of it. LIKE. ABSOLUTELY she's so sweet and I love her. But. I really had no idea what to make of it! Until like. It became clear to me, ohhhhhhhh I. Fell for the front she puts up as a defense mechanism. You can be cheerful and silly and deeply hurt and have just as many interpersonal issues as someone who like. Shows clearer signs of having those issues. Okay! Got it 🫡 SHKAHSJSHJAJ

And then I think that's when I became just deeply unwell about her too LMFAOOOOOOO

[rodolfoparras]

Kiss on the forehead to both you and 🐻‍❄️ for those latest old man Price posts because they're genuinely so good?? I just wanna treat that old man right and make him see stars, whether it's him riding me or me riding him. I want him so shamelessly 😔

I swear I don't know how I'd be able to keep my hands off of him I'd be so insufferable. Wouldn't want to hear a thing from him about how he's an old man and I am too young and can do better. Shut up and let me love you!!

Also, this morning while I was getting ready I randomly remembered this post of yours where you wrote about old man Price and his younger alt/rockstar boyfriend who reminds Price of crushes he had when he was younger and I need you to know how that drabble lives in my head rent free and it healed me spiritually and I keep forgetting to tell you how much I love it.

Like whenever I'm getting ready and putting my silly (scary) outfits and makeup (and all goths who wear makeup know how long that takes) I know damn well how horribly people will react but I also don't care. BUT something about imagining John being all heart eyes over it and watching me with biggest smile while I'm getting ready makes me feel so warm all over. The way I can totally imagine him saying something like "You look like Ozzy/Robert Smith" and I know I'd cry if he did.

Just a little ramble from me <3

-🔮

Kiss on ur forehead for reading them angel!!

Also you’ve got ideas spinning in my head because what about old man price who’s so used to being low on pda, always keeping his private life and work life separated but after he meets you he just can’t help but send a loving glance your way when you’re teaching new recruits or doing well on a mission, can’t help but put a hand on your shoulder or even subtly sneak a hand under your shirt when you’re stationed out somewhere with the squad, will openly place a kiss on your lips when 141 is around because he loves you so much and he wants to show the world besides he’s old doesn’t know how much time he has left why keep that love to himself

Also everyone knowing that price and you are dating laswell being extremely happy because that man has been single so long and she and her wife have begged and pleaded for him to find someone

Also I am creeped out with how in sync we are bc I was thinking about that Drabble just recently?😭 it’s one of my favorites and I’m so glad you liked it sugar!! Price would literally be your biggest supporter in everything you do, he’d love to sit on the sink or on the floor or wherever you’ll have him while you do your make up he’d even offer to help put it on and his tongue would be peaking out brows pinched in concentration as he glides the make up brush over your lid he’d also always want to help you take it off especially if you’re too tired somehow he’ll be like sleep love I’ll take care of it and uses baby wipes to get it off and even do a mini skin care routine while you sleep placing kisses on your face etc🥹

[animentality]

Hi! I read your book and I enjoyed it thoroughly and I can't wait for the next installment cause I'm curious where you're going to take things and also your way of writing is very unique and I'd love to experience it again!

Also "Happy moments with unhappy people" lives rent free in my head now thank you

Also the way you wrote the flashbacks made it my favorite part of the book and I ended up looking forward to the next one about halfway through and I'm obsessed with Rey specifically like I know he literally says he only has the fact that he's hot going for him but hot enough to get THAT many people utterly obsessed with him? I need to have words with him his game is INSANE

Also also also I found your style a little weird AT FIRST, but then once I got used to it the flow was perfect and I got literally possessed by the book until I finished it and the flashback with Anaheim hit me like a goddamn freight train

Like Rey is this little sunshine outwardly but sombre and mature in his relationships and that was already a gut punch but then Anaheim happened and everything just suddenly clicked. Like Rey became so human to me that now I every time I think about him I get a pit in my stomach (/extremely positive)

I am a little insane for your book thank you so much for writing it and I'll be re-reading it very soon and I hope I get absolutely destroyed the second time through <3

(I think Rey's charms were so powerful even through a phone screen he's making me read the book again <3)

(Also genuinely last note I'm sorry I'm unwell for your book but the world/city had impeccable vibes and I felt a longing after I finished reading, like I wanted to be in the world a little longer and I cannot think of a higher compliment for your worldbuilding)

I love your book <3!!!

;-;

Never apologize for feeling unwell for my book, I am grinning irl like a madman after reading this ask.

This is the best ask I've ever gotten for 7 deadly habits, congrats.

This is what I write for. Asks like these...you're too kind.

I'm so glad you liked it.

I'm so glad you understand Rey so well.

I'm so glad you came around to my weirder writing style. I know it's a bit of an adjustment for most people, but I'm glad you found its rhythm and now you get it.

Totally would've been ok if you didn't though, because I know it's a lot.

But ahhhhhh.

Your love for Rey...you get him!

He really is vivacious and lively and charming...except when he's not.

That little pun about how he's a ray of sunshine...and it's true. However.

It's also just a front.

The greater depth of his character comes from pain.

He is someone who has hurt a lot of people and been hurt badly.

And bravely carrying on...well, is it brave, if he simply can't face the truth?

If he has to hold it inside and keep himself together with cracked armor, this thing veneer of the person he used to be, back before he you know. Spoilered.

I'm so glad you appreciated him.

Some people don't get him.

But you've understood the assignment!!

And I just love flashbacks. They're my weakness and they're absolutely overindulgent but I can't help it. I love them too much.

I'm so glad you understood them. You liked them.

I always try to make them as evocative and lonely and somber and sometimes, rarely, too good to be true.

Memory is like that, you know. You remember things better than they were.

You have to, in order to survive...

Anyway, I'm gonna print out this ask and frame it.

You did it. You got me ready to tackle 7 deadly habits 2 again.

I'm ready to finish editing it and have it out by August.

I'm going to, goddamnit. Even if it's just for one person in the entire world...it's worth it.

Thank you so much for this ask ;-;

7 deadly habits means the world to me and then this ask hit me in the chest with a sledgehammer.

The asks that keep me writing novels...in the dark times, when I feel like I'm writing for no one...

Thank you for taking time out of your day to write this. I'll think about this ask for years.

[thegeminisage]

SIIIGH it is star trek update time. last night we watched tng's "preemptive strike" and ds9's "the collaborator."

preemptive strike (tng):

well well well, if it isn't picard racially profiling more bajoran women. because that went SO well for him last time

yes it was also because of her "training" or whatever but like. it was because she was bajoran

rough time w this episode because picard was being awful to ro the whole time and it's so clear she loves him and cares about his opinion SO MUCH! but ro herself was amazing. i literally was cheering for her to defect the entire time and she finally did and i was SO HAPPY girl get her off that spaceship

on the other hand, it sucks that all her life is about the cardassians. she either is oppressed by them or fights them and she doesn't ever really get to break free of that ever. i guess it's better than serving under picard but :/

i looked up why she wears her earring on the other side and apparently it's to keep vedeks from feeling her pagh ie she's an atheist. queen.

did NOT like the section where she and picard had to pretend to be making out. her also fr making out with that other rando was gross. like, they put her in this situation, and she immediately has to pull a captain kirk and start using her body/sex as a tool in her arsenal.

icing on the shit cake is sending riker out with her to make sure she stays loyal when riker was the most skeptical of her at first and even made her TAKE OFF HER EARRING. he calmed down eventually and he was really nice to her here (and his outfit did slay) but that's still adding insult to injury

the collaborator: (ds9):

the emotional rollercoaster this one sent me on.

i hate vedek winn with a passion reserved for people who hate fictional characters because they've known people exactly like that in real life. the way she's like no i am nice and kind YOU are the mean evil one for always being so angry :) makes me homicidal. every religious south carolinian ever. so initially i was like "bitch shut up we all know youre framing his ass"

EVEN THOUGH I ALSO DON'T LIKE. BAREIL. it's a tough life i lead

i thought kira's orb vision where they were naked together was REALLY creepy*, and i was extremely disgusted when they fucked in whatever episode that was, so him and her fucking for a good section was like. gross.

*possibly this vision was supposed to be sexy instead, but i never stopped seeing him as slightly predatory after this

anyway, then i was like, i don't want winn to be kai because she sucks so bad, but it would be cool if he did it because then he and kira will break up! and kira can get back to having no romance whatsoever with odo until like season one million, but i'm a patient woman and i can wait.

IMAGINE MY SHOCK when kira was like talking about her problems to odo, who had alerted her to the prisoner being moved JUST as a consideration, and was doing all these data lookups for her JUST to be nice, and she goes "i love him" and his approximation of a head snaps up like it's on an approximation of a string

LIKE. HELLO??? WE'RE ONLY IN SEASON 2????? i got the impression they didn't get together until WAY late in the show and this is pretty direct confirmation that despite his very loudly objecting to the idea of romance in general he is ALREADY CARRYING THE TORCH........perhaps has been for some time?? me pointing to the ds9 soup hey is there PINING in this?????

i really hope kira/odo is good when it happens. i'll be so sad if it happens but it's bad. in my mind palace it's amazing. not that i don't love odo and quark, but quark has yet to connect with my psyche on a deeper level and odo and kira live in there rent free with sisko and julian bashir.

anyway, the plot twist about kai opaka was really REALLY good an unexpected, kira was FANTASTIC in this ep, and of course i'm insane about odo pining, but ultimately this is a bust bc we got the absolute worst of both worlds: winn is kai, AND kira and bareil don't break up. i was LIVID.

i then looked up to see when/if winn and bareil die and was relieved to discover he dies soon but she lives until the finale 😒 fuck offffff

TONIGHT: the SERIES FINALE of tng!!!! our suffering is almost over.......

[ladyinbooks]

Hey, just wanted you to know I absolutely love your writting and your books and I always get so excited when you update any of your stories 🥺!! I read IB 2 years ago and I reread it again now, and I still can't believe this masterpiece is available FOR FREE for all of us to read!! So I wanted to thank you the only way I know and I drew Jason and Samiel (I've been sketching them from time to time because they live rent free in my head adfsfd)

I hope this brights your day a little bit! All my best wishes <3

Oh my god. OH MY GOD!!!!!

@mureh This is BEAUTIFUL! Thank you! ♥️♥️♥️♥️🤗🤗 (Please forgive the emojis, I'm just trying so hard not to start screaming over here.)

Firstly, I'm so happy you like IB, and I'm honoured that you've re-read it! It's really sweet of you to say you enjoy my fics - it made me smile so much to hear you've been sketching the boys from time to time because they live in your head rent free. (Seriously, I can't stop grinning - what a lovely compliment! Thank you!)

And now I'm sorry, but actually I am going to start screaming a little bit about your lovely art...

OMG IT'S GORGEOUS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! ♥️♥️♥️

Can I just say I love their expressions?! I love how happy and full of life they both look. I love Jay's grin and the confidence in his posture and I adore the way he's just got an arm around Samiel's waist, and a hand on his own hip. Hellooooo confidence! This is such a wonderful Jay swagger! And his build is perfect. I mean utterly, utterly perfect. This is exactly what I was thinking of when it came to Jay. Alright, he's not as tall as Samiel, but yup. He could throw him over a shoulder if he wanted to. He just exudes a wonderful sense of cheerful competence in this piece - he's there and he's in charge and it's so wonderful. And his clothes! You've captured this fantastic military feel to him, that's still slightly outside the uniform rules (which yes, 100% yes!) and it works so well for Jay.

And then Samiel. SAMIEL! I adore how he's that little bit more reserved. He's calmly competent and his expression shows it - he's got Jay, and that's all that needs to be said for him. He's quietly dangerous, in the way a dormant volcano is, and you've caught that beautifully. Oh! His hair is utterly gorgeous (and precisely the length I was thinking of when I wrote him!!!!); his skin tone is perfect and I'm going absolutely feral over the way you've got him so tightly bound up in his uniform. Yessss. Absolutely yes. (I love what you've done with his uniform - it's that perfect combination of more formal, but practical and easy to move in.)

Oh gosh, I really can't stop grinning. You'll have to take my word for it, but I'm literally sitting here smiling so much my cheeks are hurting a little bit. Your talent is phenomenal, and you've captured these two perfectly. I'm so grateful and absolutely honoured that you've taken the time to draw them.

And, well, this is my phone's wallpaper now. It had to be done so I could stare at this some more on my morning commute.

Thank you so, so much. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[piosplayhouse]

oooooo 15, 22, 30 for the ask game 👁

15. Favorite fanart for SVSSS? Show us the amazing artist~! Feel free to plug~!

Kyle you know it's literally a hate crime for you to ask me this right . Ok so since there's no way I can pick a favorite SV fanart of all time I'm just going to showcase a favorite piece from some of my favorite artists, starting with YOU you little bastard

Kyle's genderbend sqh art fuels me please look at it it's so so so so sos so AGHGHH (cw a bit suggestive ig)

Kaya's in their unhinged era rn everyone just smile and wave (and also look at how adorable their art style is come on like everyone looks so so

BONES!!!! bones art my absolute beloved what can I even say that I havent screamed before in tags about their lineart and how funny they are. God. Cumplane for my soul

I can't pick a Goat art just look at their entire page please it's all incredible . I'll link another cumplane post just to stay on brand though and also because i love it so so SO much

Teazart's shen yuan design hits all the right spots AGH hes such a nerd I'm going to kiss him

every sharpie art instantly becomes a lourve candidate as soon as its posted but I do have to give special attention to this bingy which makes him look (deserved) SO happy and bright and content LOVE HIMM

of course I have to put another cumplane from my beloved Lace who isn't really a mainly svsss fanartist but who I will put in here anyway because I have 1000 fans that can possibly be converted to yuwu

this moose art I think about all the time because it's so incredibly tender and loving adn the colors and the posing and the ghhhhhhh makes me so soft

BERRY'S RAMHE the absolute adorablest sheep . I want to pet him more than anything in the world

festeringrian's bingyuan GRR BARK BARK BARK once again in my favorite category of "shen yuan's cringefail nerd charm has captivated me " AND sexy bingy...

SHATOU'S MOSHANG COMIC GOD shoving this in your face look at this and cry

late night cumplane the first sloane art i ever encountered and which got me HOOKED on this artstyle GODDD absolutely gorgeous art and hilarious ideas

Munchy's art is SO cute in general but I'm shouting out this one in particular because. binghe tits. yeah

Every sel au and art is a national treasure of course but I have to give special attention to this one because demon sqh is critically underrated and also SO cute

this Binghe piece by toffee-arts is simply beautiful, like a perfect renaissance painting its just so ..!! THE SKILL

I own quite literally every piece of sv merch phee sells on their site and I would buy them all over again . So so SO good. Bonus points for Shen Yuan with a body pillow and Bingy puppy eyes in this post though

THIS pxychta piece which I am buying asap when inprnt does free shipping friday again!!!!

Bo's fluffy sqh lives rent free in my head he is my world and he deserves everythign for being the cutest guy ever

If you're a moshang fan and not already following seiraheron then what are you doing !! It's getting harder and harder to choose favorite pieces but if I had to pick the atmosphere in this is so strong and their expressions are so warm I could stare at the details for HOURS

Like every other artist on this list, every tadpole_art piece is INCREDIBLE, but this one holds a special place in my heart with how vibrant and powerful its color story is <3 also it made me cry

C's tetris sqq art is an eternally loved classic but honestly all of their gouache paintings are so magnificent and deliciously textured that I think you should stare at them all for a million hours

It was hard deciding between this and the dnd au but Kelenia's demon squad designs are some of my all-time favorite in the game just AHH.. look at those cheekbones and the outfits and hair and shl's piercings and how they bitch to each other!!!

and SO many more honestly i couldn't even begin to list all my favorite artists on twitter too!! Sv fandom is filled with so many skilled people with amazing art and it's such a wonderful environment of creation I'm so thankful to share this space with everyone !!!

22. Would you or have you cosplayed as any of the characters of SVSSS?

Unfortunately I'm not super into cosplay in general just because I don't like attracting attention HAHA but if I was I would absolutely cosplay Ning Yingying bc I think I could pull it off so well

30. Who's personality do you think more closely represents yours in the SVSSS universe?

deep sigh

[symphonyofsilence]

The sons of Fëanor: Headcanons & hot takes (Part 1 : Maedhros)

So since this dude lives in my mind rent-free 24/7 this got so, so, very long. Like essay long. Like you won't even believe how long it's not even funny! I'm probably gonna post the rest of the brothers in one post but this one is 10 posts in itself. So without further ado, let's get this over with.

I think he was very close to his grandpa Mahtan. I've explained here why I think his copper circlet was a gift from him. But also notice how Mahtan also wears a copper circlet. & I couldn't find it in the 'Shibboleth of Fëanor' which was used as the reference, but it was said on his Wikipedia page that Maedhros resembled his grandfather in 'face and disposition'. A part of it was probably inheritance (I personally headcanon that Mahtan had an easy grace & natural nobility to him that had nothing to do with being royalty. Finwë didn't have it. But Mahtan did & Nerdanel & then, Maedhros & Maglor inherited it.) But I think Maedhros might have spent a lot of time with Mahtan & loved him a lot & was happy that he looked like him & looked up to him & actively wanted to act like him.

Whoever his face took after, I firmly headcanon that he had Fëanor's eyes.

Being literally named 'supermodel', praised for his special hair color, most likely being the King's first grandson, most likely he was doted on from the moment he was born & he was very confident in himself. But Nerdanel would make sure that it wouldn't get to his head. He was very well aware of what a catch he is. But he would act down-to-earth about it.

Personality-wise I think he is charming, polite, at least on a surface level chill, laid-back, cool (the coolest cousin in the eyes of most of his cousins), confident enough to be humble, friendly & family-loving. But charismatic & with a commanding aura, he draws eyes to him even when he's sitting silently & when he speaks, he will be heard. he could get very serious. but I think he had an excellent sense of humor & he would use that to handle difficult diplomatic situations & gracefully lessen the tension in arguments or retort offensive comments. Like how he laughed off Thingol's cold message. (Or "you should excuse my brother. He's in a really hard place." "Oh really?" "Yes. His own head.") That sense of humor got really dark after Angband. Only Fingon, Aredhel Caranthir, Celegorm, in the version when he's alive Amrod, & weirdly Fingolfin & Lalwen got it. So he'd tone it down in company of others & use lighter jokes. After Nirnaeth & especially after Doriath, all that sense of humor turned to sarcasm, and salt & there was no other sense of humor but the dark one. I said he looked chill on a surface level, cuz I think he was one of those persons that as a friend or colleague or someone that you spend certain hours a day with them, he was excellent & you would enjoy your time with them, but as a family member, someone you'd have to spend 24 hrs with, he would get really, really overbearing. (a trait he shared with Fëanor. Except that it took much less time for Fëanor to become overbearing & he was like that with his friends & colleagues too one didn't have to be family.) & Maedhros, the excellent diplomat that he was, could get manipulative.& not just with other lords & ladies but in his daily life with people close to him. & he had a temper that rarely showed itself but when it did, it was scary. He wouldn't yell like the rest of his brother but his voice would become really quiet, his tone cold, & his gaze would burn. Maedhros was probably very polite & respectful. It's the default of how people at court are expected to behave, but I can't imagine Fëanor & his 3 middle sons to be exactly polite & respectful. But Maedhros was. Otherwise, how could he keep the Noldor together even in the worst of times? Also one can surmise this from the line 'If there lay no grievance between us, lord, still the kingship would rightly come to you, the eldest here of the house of Finwë, and not the least wise.' 'Cause if the law of succession is not Agnatic seniority then he's just saying this to say that he's not doing any favors to Fingolfin. Fingolfin is the rightful king. He's being humble & polite. Many could say many things about the first son of Fëanor (that however he acts he's eventually his father's son he's never done anything against Fëanor's wishes and such and such) but they can't deny he's ever been anything but nice & polite. I think there must have been something about the Fëanorians that all their relatives still wanted to spend time with them even after the ship burning. I think everywhere they went they were the life of the party. Even people who didn't like them couldn't deny that. And one of the things about Maedhros was that he was a very active listener. Whatever you were saying he would look at you like you were saying the most interesting thing. He showed the exact right reaction. Said the exact right things. Sometimes repeated your words or mirrored your expressions. Everyone loved talking to him. Though for a while after Angband he kept zoning out in the middle of conversations. His eyes looked empty & distant like he wasn't there at all. And he wouldn't react when they called him. Sometimes he wouldn't disassociate but his eyes had trouble focusing. He got better in time. He even went back to being an active listener. But after Nirnaeth & especially after Doriath, a lot of times he wouldn't even look at the person who was talking to him. He usually just had a frown & a stoic expression as he listened. His answers were short, sharp & to the point.

He was the perfect heir; Dutiful, obedient, loyal & loving to his family, diligent, determined, a skilled commander, graceful, proud, a charming & courteous company in court and councils. One would expect great things from him. (& dutiful, obedient, loyal & loving to his family, diligent & determined, he followed his father's path to the bitter end to his own demise.)

I headcanon that he learned writing from Fëanor, the inventor of Tengwar, himself. & As perfectionist as Maedhros was, he insisted to write just like Fëanor himself. So they had very similar handwriting & so Maedhros would write a lot of Fëanor's letters for him. Those who were close to them could still tell the handwritings apart & one should have very seldom met Fëanor to not be able to tell the writing apart. Fingolfin's children could always say when it was Maedhros who had written the letter & would laugh their asses off at the "dear brother" things & such kind words that they couldn't imagine with Fëanor's voice. He lost that handwriting with his right hand.

I headcanon that he kinda invented modeling & had a knack for being a fashion designer. Sure he would stand as a model for Nerdanel. But also he always had very specific designs in mind for his clothes & ordered new ones a lot. He would sketch them out & explain them in detail to the tailors. It never crossed his mind to design clothes as a job. But everyone would praise every new clothes he wore in every new public appearance & the business of his tailors bloomed. & he highly influenced the fashion of the youth of the Noldor.

Sure, genetics & height are important factors but you don't get to be named a supermodel without working your ass out. So I assume his hobby was all kinds of sports. Riding, archery, swimming, you name it. & since Fingon totally looks like a joke (& an adrenaline junky who walks into the depth of hell without even telling anyone & with absolutely no plan & starts singing) I think they were always together in their practicings. I headcanon that his & Fingon's big plan before all went downhill was establishing the very first sports club in Valinor. & they were starting to pursue their dreams but then all went downhill & they broke apart & neither of them dared to go on with that idea cuz the idea was both of theirs & the other could probably sue. (they both knew the other wouldn't tho. And even if they did-which they wouldn't- it would just be an uncomfortable talk with grandpa. Really it was just bc they both lost motivation. It was only fun if they were going to do it together). & Maedhros, due to being a son of Fëanor-his heir at that- & apparently very loyal to him, was too out of favor with every authority in Tirion to start such a thing.

It's canon that he was a great diplomat. So probably he knew so many things about every lord & lady & he would use them to win them over when the need arised. Was quite tactful & silver-tongued. He would do Finwë's & Fëanor's paperwork, boring works & Finwë's accountings for them. Fëanor more & more believed that sitting in councils with other lords & ladies was a waste of time on a bunch of pompous idiots. So Maedhros went to councils in his stead. (many would use "Fëanor would never send him in his stead if he didn't believe that he would get him what he wants. They're the same." ) he was also the one prince who people would go to when they had business in court and didn't want to go through the whole bureaucratic hell. He would make shortcuts for them. & thus he was one of the very popular princes.

I think it's obvious that his favorite brother is Maglor. I headcanon that he was okay with Maglor & enjoyed playing with his baby brother until Maglor reached the age that is the elven equivalent of 5 & then they were constantly at each other's throats mostly because they shared a room and Maglor was constantly playing something & singing (& for the first years of the 'civil war era' he was still learning so the quality was not as good as it would eventually come to be.) & there was no peace & quiet for Maedhros. Sometimes Maglor would 'get inspired' and start playing something at 3 A.M cuz he'd say he will forget it otherwise. and so Maedhros would wake up yelling that the next time Maglor gets inspired he might get some inspirations of his own too. & on the other hand, Maglor was an introvert who enjoyed his own solitude & would like to have the room for himself while Maedhros would bring Fingon & sometimes other guests. Nobody would back down the war was raging & they would get annoyed at each others' mere sight. But Nerdanel wouldn't give them separate rooms 'cause she insisted that they needed to learn to coexist in peace & compromising. (U know...their dad is Fëanor...& he's not exactly famous for being the best brother... so...they needed that.) And after a while when Maglor reached the elven equivalent of 13 suddenly they became the best of friends. It happened so swiftly they didn't even notice how & when it happened. But even before that, they've become more civil 'cause their troublesome little brothers were born & they were kinda bonding over being responsible older brothers of common 'disturbers of the peace'. They maintained the close relationship from then on. When Maglor married & left their common room & Maedhros had the room all to himself, at that point, he didn't want to. It felt too empty without the original disturber of the peace. After Angband, the shadow of how Maglor didn't go to Maedhros' rescue for 30-something years never quite left them. They'd reason that there was no way for Maglor to be able to save him. What could have he done?! But Fingon did. Didn't he? They'd forget it. Bury it deep in their mind. But deep in their mind, it was buried. They were very close. In Beleriand, more than ever. They were Each other's, constant companions. They went through everything together. They fought in battles. But there was a pang of underlying guilt in some moments of extreme loyalty or not leaving Maedhros' side in Maglor. & it didn't really show itself until after Sirion. When their relationship was outright toxic & harmful.

Maedhros had the most real heartfelt disagreements with Celegorm & Curufin was also kinda pitted against him from the get-go, & they clashed a lot. All the members of the family had strong personalities & would clash a lot but even if they fought among themselves, they would kill any outsider who would dare to fight their brother.

I think family was a very important concept for the Fëanorians. Since Fëanor didn't feel like a member of his primary family, he would try to make the most unbreakable family possible when he married & had kids & teach them to put family before everything. (& they didn't even notice when Fëanor himself forgot that. Not until later.)

Everything in his possession was considered public property by his brothers & they wouldn't even tell him when they "borrowed" his things which resulted in him constantly searching around the house for his things. His impressive height was a mercy from Eru so he would have clothes left in his wardrobes to wear. & his brothers would ruin the order of his room when they put his things back. He was especially orderly.

I don't think any of the Fëanorians are the cuddling type. They show their love in various other ways.

When Maedhros returned from Angband, Caranthir was the one who would bring him food & medicine (he once caught someone else taking an unchopped steak to Maedhros & he got angry saying did you expect him to chop it himself? Or were you going to chop his food for him in front of him & wound his pride like that? & he took the dish & chopped the steak himself & took the mission upon himself from then on), he would make Maedhros laugh with his sharp sarcasm & bitter humor, would chew out anyone who tried to help Maedhros without asking his permission when he was trying to do something, Celegorm would practice with Maedhros day & night tirelessly as long as Maedhros needed. Whether it was getting back on his feet again or sword fighting. He would also leave Huan with him in his room. Curufin made him a wheelchair, a walking stick, new swords & helm & armor & throwing knives & special shields & with the help of Celebrimbor(his first big project cuz he wanted to do something for his uncle) a mithril prosthetic hand, he & Ambarussar helped him to get back on horse's back, Maglor would help him catch up with everything that has gone with Noldor & help him organize the mess & do the majority of his work for him & keep the things between the 2 hosts civil, he would give him all the mental support he needed & he would play soothing songs for him. Ambarussar would take him out whenever he needed fresh air. Fingon would do all of these minus the smithy work whenever the brothers would let him. Or...u know....sometimes even if they didn't. (even though they were grateful to Fingon the guilt of not saving Maedhros themselves was ever-present in their hearts. So they'd always politely tell Fingon that "you've done so much already. we thank you. We can't bother you more. Leave the rest to us." To which Fingom would reply that it was no bother & he wanted to do these.)

He's always tried to be mama's & papa's perfect boy but after a while, these 2 were impossible to be simultaneously. As an oldest brother, I think of him as sth like Steve Crane in the Haunting of Hill House. He was always trying to be a good, responsible elder brother. & he was, for the most part. But after everything life has thrown at him, after Nirnaeth to be precise, he's too preoccupied with his own misery & conflicted emotions to properly function as a stable, comforting big brother. & even then he still tries to do his best towards his siblings. If he sometimes sounds harsh or bitter he almost immediately regrets it & tries to do better. But it's just that he has nothing left in him to give anymore.

He loved & respected & admired Fëanor a lot. I think they were very close. (they canonically traveled around Aman. The sons followed Fëanor everywhere. He's noted to seek their council during the flight of the Noldor. & maybe these 2 were closest cuz Fëanor married young & Maedhros was his firstborn so Fëanor was still very young when Maedhros was born.) His dad was the smartest person he knew & what he said was the truth. It wasn't that he did whatever Fëanor said it was just that what Fëanor said made sense. He was logical & persuasive. Even if Maedhros didn't always agree with his methods. It wasn't until after Losgar that Fëanor came to perspective for Maedhros. That ship burning was not only betrayal but madness. they needed numbers to defeat a god. & Fingolfin had the largest host. & Fëanor knew that too when he invoked them to rebel & when he made haste to get on the way before they change their mind. & after Fëanor died & left Maedhros alone in a wide, unfamiliar land to defeat a god with the little number they had, & after Maedhros' got outnumbered by Melkor & captured, & was eventually saved by Fingon, he couldn't help but go back to what Fëanor did, get angry, resent him, then remember that Fëanor was grieving & furious & paranoid & his judgment was clouded & he loved his sons with all his heart & he would never do anything that would hurt Maedhros. & the more the oath thing kept going, the more this cycle was repeated. He had to actively remind himself that he himself took the oath & followed Fëanor voluntarily, that Fëanor couldn't possibly know it would get to this, none of them did. remind himself of all the loving, caring, sweet, beautiful moments with his father, all the acts of love & care & affection & sacrifice his father had ever done for him & his brothers, remember that it was all Melkor's influence that drove him to his demise, it was all carefully planned & executed by Melkor, that Finwë meant the world to Fëanor & the thought of getting replaced by his little brothers in Finwë's eyes & then Finwë's death crushed his world, & then as he grew up & thought back on Fëanor, learn that in the end, he was a broken, lonely, scared man who was afraid of being replaced & forgotten. All this to subside his raging anger & hatred towards Fëanor. Whom against his own judgment subconsciously he blamed for everything. (though he told himself that it's all Morgoth's fault. & in reality, he blamed himself most of all) 'Cause, in the end, Maedhros loved his father. He loved him very much even when he hated him.& he would defend him against outsiders. Cuz family was family.

About his cousins, do I even need to say anything about Fingon & Maedhros? Turgon I think didn't like the sons of Fëanor at all. Turgon liked his peace & quiet & the sons of Fëanor when they stormed their house would ruin it. & he thought they were jerks & his brother & sister turned into jerks when they were with them. (they'd just lightly tease him. Nothing offensive.) & his reasons to dislike them grew more & more as time passed. He was a firm believer that Maedhros is no different than the rest of them despite appearance. Aredhel was clearly their friend. So I think was Argon. & Finrod too. (less than Aredhel & even Argon. He was mostly friends with Turgon.) Angrod & Aegnor at first didn't really like Maedhros 'cause they loved Fingon & wanted to be his friends & they thought that when Fingon was with Maedhros he wouldn't pay them enough attention. & they had "grown-up" inside jokes & "grown-up" subjects to talk about. Later when they grew up they all became friends. Galadriel canonically never liked the sons of Fëanor. But headcanon that even if she didn't generally like him, in a semi-banquet among the newly reunited Noldor, when the time for dancing came, & Maedhros who had not completely healed at that time & relied on a walking stick, stayed sitting & did not participate, it suddenly came to Galadriel's attention that during years of the trees, Maedhros was his favorite dance partner (After Finrod) during balls. cuz he was one of the few men taller than him so she could finally have the elegant effect she was looking for when she was dancing. & they talked about sports events & he was witty & funny & would make her laugh. & she didn't quite realize that until then.

For the life of me, I cannot imagine this elf in a romantic relationship with a lady. Like, I certainly can't imagine him as straight but I can't even imagine him as bi. he's either gay or aspec or somewhere in between.

When I read his dialouges I can clearly hear his voice in my mind & it's raspy. His cheekbones & jawline could cut diamonds & he kept his hair long & with braids that differed from era to era. After Sirion, subconsciously, his braids resembled Celegorm's, he wore eyeliners like Caranthir, there were elements of Ambarussar's clothings in the way he dressed & his armor & prosthetic hand & weapons were already Curufin's work. Both to show his loss of identity & more than that, loss of himself in family obligations, & to show that he's haunted by ghosts.

It was interesting to me that out of his 3 Quenya names, he combined two of them & left his father's name out. I think it confirms that Nelyafinwe was a jab at Fingolfin. (I think Fëanor intended to secure his line as the line of succession. Even if Finwë to their knowledge wasn't going to die, maybe he would someday want to retire.) & I think Maedhros knew that, & didn't like that. (I think Nerdanel & Finwë & others would bring all kinds of ridiculous alibies to say that no, it's not a jab at Fingolfin & they would all jump on his mother's name when Nerdanel gave it to him & until then just call him Nelyo or sweet baby or sth. But everyone knew the truth. & Fingolfin would always especially call him "Nelyafinwë" to show Fëanor how unphased he was by this petty move. He continued to call him that even after Fëanor's death. & Maedhros was less than impressed by being used as a political ploy like that.)

Probably elves that don't age & don't grow sick, take their looks for granted. When Maedhros came back from Angband, he looked like a skeleton, he was scarred & they had to shave his head to check for injuries (& also that very, very long tangled greasy mess could not be washed.). When he first looked at himself in the mirror, he who even among the fair folk has always been known for his good looks, & now was probably the most unpleasant-looking elf amongst such dashing people, had another breakdown. He was no Maitimo (well-formed) or Russandol(copper-head). For his Sindarin name, He combined the two names & named himself Maedhros. It was a reclaiming. It was a promise. The dead king was back.

He seems like a very inspirational leader. The very fact that he was alive was a miracle let alone getting back on his feet & defending the borders & healing rifts. & with his level of determination & charisma & strength & big plans, of course people would follow him to Himring even if he wasn't Fëanor's heir. Some would follow him to hell. (So it's all the more tragic when some of his followers turn against him in Sirion.)

I stand by what I said here.

From "the eldest, whose ardor burnt yet more eager than his father's flame. Than Fëanor's wrath." I surmise that he had many hopes & dreams.

He went to battles with a very small vial of poison hidden in his clothes after Angband.

I said a lot of what I had to say about his relationship with the Peredhel twins in this fanfic. I won't repeat them now cuz this post is already so long. (I've said before how much I love the grumpy murderous morally gray dad involuntarily adopting the traumatized gremlin trope & goes from "Nah thank u, no kids for me." To "I've had X for a day & a half & if anything happens to them I'll kill everyone in this room & then myself". (Like Joel/Ellie, Logan/Laura, Silco/Jinx and such...)& since Maglor seems like a mild-mannered person even & even at his worst he doesn't seem grumpy & he willingly adopted the kids, Maedhros if is then.) He comes to love those kids. He would kill & die for them. But because he fears that by considering them family, they'll come under "the house of Fëanor & those who follow them" & thus under the curse of Mandos & the trauma of "those who followed the house of Fëanor" in Nirnaeth never leaves him, he will not let them consider themselves family. He even orders to have shields with the star of Earendil made for them as soon as they learn to fight so they would not use Fëanorian bearing on their shield. Elrond & Elros at first feel upset that the lord of the house doesn't want them as family but they understand when Maglor explains the reason to them. When a subconscious part of Maedhros' mind keeps seeing Elrond & Elros as family his conscious mind insistently shuts it down. (They do feel like family in his heart though, against his will.) They're just his brother's wards, he keeps thinking, & his responsibility towards them is no more than an adult's towards kids. The lord of the house towards the wards. & someone responsible for them being orphans in the first place. As he keeps reminding himself. He feels very guilty towards them. He feels like keeping them is selfish & twisted & just to ease their own guilt. He feels like the association with them will ruin the twins' reputation & life. So he tries to keep his distance (an effort entirely ignored by the twins & especially Elros, As I said in the fic.) He will say he's sorry but he won't ask for their forgiveness 'cause he fears that they will grant it & that would be because they're children raised by them & don't know better & he'll be exploiting their innocence & naivety. But despite all his feelings, even if he doesn't ask, he's forgiven. & even if not in name, in their own strange way, they're family. & love grew between them.

I'm not really sure if Maedhros would accept Mandos' call. I will preface this by saying that I don't think any of them got cast into the void & thus "doomed to eternal darkness" bc Fëanor himself got to the halls of Mandos & I think it misses the point. The point was that there was no point. The oath was in vain. They wouldn't truly get condemned to eternal darkness if they forsook the oath to prevent kinslayings. The eternal darkness was eventually what they brought on themselves. It was a self-fulfilled prophecy. (& I think the oath was eventually fulfilled. One of the Silmarils was with Fëanor's great-nephew & thus, his kin. The 2 others also were eventually in the hands of Fëanor's kin. Maedhros died with Silmaril in hand. & it doesn't say that "Fëanor's kin" can't cast the Silmaril away.) IMO there are several ways that it could go after his death : (CW mention of suicide ahead.)

You see, one really beautiful & tragic thing is that, after Angband, yes "the shadow of his pain was at his heart" but also "the fire of life was hot within him" & considering everything, from what we know, he seems to be doing well. Shortly after his rescue, He functions better than most people do in all their lives. He reunites the Noldor, we see him laugh (how many characters do we see laugh in the Silmarillion if you don't count the "fay" & evil laughs?) arranges his brothers' lands in a way that they have the least interaction with their uncle & cousins. Chooses his own land right on the borders & makes a stronghold & keeps it for years, he attends feasts & goes hunting with his brother & cousin. (& these are why I don't believe grim & gloomy Maedhros quite emerged until after Nirnaeth. Sure he would get very serious & focused & determined & brooding & there was a shadow of pain and depression on him but the Valinor era Maedhros was still there. Until Nirnaeth.) He was still hopeful & fierce & fighting. After Dagor Dagorath, even though the Noldor seemed defeated & they had lost their king, Maedhros, who was the only one whose kingdom was not hidden but RIGHT ON THE BORDERS & managed to keep it, got inspired by Beren & Lúthien & formed the Union of Maehros & sought to destroy Melkor, & even after Nirnaeth, he is still persistent & unstoppable it's just that now his persistence has turned to a dark cause. & it keeps going on like that until the third kinslaying. Time & time again, he keeps falling down & then he keeps getting back to his feet (& this is one of the things really admire about him). So when in the end, he ends his own life, I think he was pushed to his limits & that was finally a fall that he couldn't get back up from. So he just made the final, ultimate fall. (& I don't think it was his first suicidal thought I think he had these thoughts for a long time. They came & went & he kept pushing them back but they were there.)

You see I think when he got rescued from Angband he made one promise to himself & that was to eventually see it burn. & when in the War of Wrath Angband was destroyed & Maedhros watched it fall, his story drew to an end. After that, it was Fëanor's story going on through his two eldest. So when that ONE thing that kept driving them, that ONE thing that made them do such terrible things burnt his hands & he figured that it was all in vain, it was the final straw. He wouldn't want to go to Mandos or anything. He just wanted not to be. To end it all. He didn't want to face Mandos or his family or the Teleri. Or someday get reimbodied. He wanted to fade. To get lost & forgotten. & he wouldn't think himself worthy of healing. & the Silmarils apparently agreed.

This is not a version I like though. Not at all. & it doesn't even have any bittersweet beauty to it it's just bitter.

But another possible reason for it is that we see how he doubts that the Valar would show them lenience & MAYBE he blamed Mandos for the curse & how he doomed them from the start & didn't give him any chance & left no room for improvement. So he didn't like him, didn't trust his judgment & didn't want to get judged by him.

Also, it seems like Maedhros' case was like the second one talked about in LaCe.

But let's get to why he might have answered Mandos' call :

As you see above, the way "not answering Mandos' call" is talked about in the LaCE makes it sound like in the eyes of the Valar & the Eldar, it's the ultimate wretched thing an elf can do. Like if somebody does that, there's no way back for them. They're lost. The lowest of lows. I doubt any of the Eldar would dare reject Mandos' call. Even Fëanor who so fiercely & famously disliked the Valar didn't do that. So I don't know if Maedhros would. Also by the way he & Maglor talked about the Valar & Illuvatar looks like they still hold them in reverence & fear them. Maglor even hopes that they would show them mercy. & Eonwe DID show them mercy. So-...

If he gets to Mandos' halls I think he will spend either a long, long while or forever just sitting somewhere & sulking. Nienna can't help him cuz he doesn't want to be helped. Fingon can't cuz Maedhros is ashamed of him & can't look him in the eyes. (though I think Fingon would persist & eventually win & get to help him. Not that he wasn't upset with him but he directed a lot of his rage & blame on Fëanor cuz it was easier. & also seeing how Maedhros suffered all those years & eventually killed himself he pitied him & knew he regretted everything & his heart was still in the right place. Also, what can he do, good or bad he loved him.), his brothers were in need of healing themselves so there was not much they could do for him. & his father, well he was in need of healing but his son was more important. I think Maedhros was numb from pain but still, if any feelings could be felt within him, he did feel hatred & anger towards Fëanor, but hatred & rage take so much energy so he couldn't hold on to them, he wanted to get rid of them, he couldn't even feel them fully. & he still loved & needed his dad. & Fëanor would give him distance if he needed it, give him hugs when he needed it, if he needed someone to yell at & blame, Fëanor would take the blame, if he needed someone to give him comfort, Fëanor would do that too. He would do anything to give Maedhros what he needed to heal. & show love & remorse in his deeds.

& one of my headcanons is that when Elros dies, he tells Mandos that there is someone who owes him a proper goodbye. & if he's stepping into the unknown, he wants him to accompany him. & since Mandos is apparently soft for this family he allows it. So Maedhros & Elros meet. & their words to each other shall remain private between them like how Arwen & Elrond's last meeting was. & Maedhros accompanies him until he can go no more & they say farewell. But that conversation with Elros changes everything. & he does mourn him even if Elros seemed happy & content & in peace. But after a while, after more than 4 centuries of sulking, he steps into the path of healing. & the path of healing is not known for its easiness. There are many fallbacks & stumblings but he let Nienna & Fëanor & Fingon help him & he will help his brothers too & they will help him in return & he tries hard & will eventually get there. Maybe he will never leave the halls, but he eventually heals. & helps others heal.

& this might seem far fetched & unlikely but even if he doesn't answer Mandos' call right away I like to headcanon that when Elros goes to the halls he still asks after Maedhros & when Mandos says that he's not here, he didn't answer my call, Elros will answer "but he will answer mine." & he does. & it goes just like what I said above after that. (There is poetry in that the last good thing he did in his life was helping raise the twins & eventually it pays off.)

I strongly associate him with the amazing devil's "farewell wanderlust" like "I'll promise you I'll be better I promise you I'll try but like robbing wine stains into rugs it's my curse to try & make it right but by trying make it worse"?! Come on that's him!

& finally