#HERE’S TO THE END OF SEASON 9! I’ll miss you buddy.

[theminecraftbee]

Xisuma checks over his scripts three more times. Both Joe and Jevin have claimed they’d be online until the moment the server kicked them, and he wants to make sure his scripts for doing that are sound, and won’t do anything strange. His hands are shaking as he does. Everything is neat and tidy. Everything is neat and tidy.

Hypno comes up behind him, glancing over Xisuma’s shoulder. He whistles. “Man, you’re really baby-proofing server close, huh?”

“Oh, Hypno! I thought you were packing,” Xisuma says.

“Nah. I’d moved most of my stuff over to Iskall’s sever for the break like, a few weeks ago. Only had enough stuff here for playing Decked Out.”

“Really? That’s good,” Xisuma says.

“Anyway, what about you? You can be packing too, this whole shutdown process is automated. We’ve literally done this seven times before. Sort of eight, if you count the whole moon thing, but like, you know.”

“Yeah, but…”

He trails off. He’s not sure why he’s still standing here. The shutdown scripts have, truthfully, been ready for months. Everyone’s been packing for at least a month (at least, everyone who hasn’t procrastinated away the time). They’d gone around cleaning up the server just the other day; it’s been left neat and tidy. Everything is as it ought to be, at the end of a season.

“…you know what? Yeah man, I get it,” Hypno says. “I’d want to stay a little longer, too.”

“Just a little longer,” echoes Xisuma.

“If you’re anxious, I can check the safety script again, make sure you aren’t causing another apocalypse for everyone staying until it closes.”

Xisuma laughs. “Gosh, am I that obvious?”

Hypno flings an arm around Xisuma’s shoulder. “Nah. I’ve just known you long enough. You’d think the helmet would make you more mysterious, but…”

“I’m cool,” Xisuma says.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Hypno says.

“I might take you up on that,” Xisuma says. “I think—I think I want to do one more fly-around, you know? Say goodbye to some things. Even after all these years, it never stops being… I’ve had so much time to do it. You’d think after not getting a warning last time, I’d know to do it. It’d feel easier. But…”

Hypno squeezes Xisuma’s shoulder once before removing his arm. “I’ll check your script for you. Go on. Go look over your kingdom, oh glorious leader.”

“I really am not that,” Xisuma says. “Don’t call me that. I’m not in charge. You know I’m not in charge.”

Hypno chuckles and opens an admin log. Xisuma takes a deep breath and looks down over the spawn village. The wind blows past him. It’s an ordinary day. Everything is fine. Everything is neat and tidy. It feels like it’s been a long time since he’s been there, and yet…

“Here’s to season ten,” Xisuma says, and something unknots in his chest for the last time.

[extasiswings]

I’ll be honest and say that my very first reaction to these last minutes was not particularly positive, but the more i think about it, the more i realise that this actually pretty much what we all expected. In a good way, too. Sure, i would have loved to see at least one Buckley-Diaz family moment or something of the sort, but where would that have fit in?

But the way that they made it pretty clear yet again that Natalia doesn’t really see Buck? The way that Marisol (as a love interest!!) is almost comically disposable? That means something.

Right! Exactly! I was thinking about that earlier and settled on, look, unless they were going to do full Buddie canon in this finale (which would have been rushed imo given how 6A went), there weren’t a lot of great options for how to end the season for them. And, while on one hand part of me originally thought “in Survivors we got the BT stuff overshadowed by the will reveal” I also feel like…that’s been all of 6B? Pretty much nothing but a neon sign that they’re a family and missing what’s in front of them and foreshadowing out the wazoo that these LIs are temporary. On top of the disaster itself being loudly Buddie-coded which I didn’t expect at all, calling back to the shooting and the will etc.

S4 had such limited Buddie, especially 4B, that the finale needed the Will conversation to happen when and how it did to overshadow BT/signal there could be a broader story. But honestly, even with that, we didn’t know. I was worried about Ana lasting after S4 because she and Eddie had already been dating for half a year. I was worried about BT because they had an established background and sort of friendship. But then 5x01 came out the gate IMMEDIATELY with Eddie “dating for like 9 months and meeting her family doesn’t mean this is a serious relationship, also I’m having panic attacks” Diaz and “BT Has Underlying Issues”.

Here, they’ve been doing a lot to establish these relationships won’t last. The fact that they’re so new and we’re going to miss seeing whatever early honeymoon period they might have is telling.

And I totally agree with you about the timing. Theoretically they could have found a way to shoehorn them onto the couch at some point or something but what purpose would that have served that wasn’t already covered by their many other highly deranged choices this season? In the grand scheme of narrative cost-benefit, in an already jam-packed episode, I think the question has to be “would that have added anything they haven’t already implied/shown clearly enough already” and if the answer is no then it’s unnecessary and you shouldn’t do it just to do it so that’s where I landed.

[mangora]

Finally watching episode 9 so here are some live notes:

•Aiden falling over when Tess gave him the water bucket was a peak visual gag

•Alec??? Alec hello???

•Yul with Kai’s shirt…toxic yaoi scraps…

•Oh my god fuck this guy

•Grett you poor baby holy shit???

•LETS GO RIYA GO OFF QUEEN

•Riya looked up to Grett omg…

•FUCK HIM UP ALEC oh my god I hate Yul Grett needs to dump his sorry ass

•I don’t really know how I feel about how they’re portraying Gabby’s mental health. Idk it’s just kinda off

•I love Jake but how much longer are we going to do this TomJake subplot fuck me it’s so boring

•The Ally and Jake beef is kinda sucky too. Also what’s Jake been doing for the last nine episodes if not trying to improve? Wh

•Jake I could fix you

•Tom’s totally lying about his boyfriend huh

•YEP okay

•Also Aiden and Tom bonding over their scars is kinda cute

•Tom still thinks about him??? Okay we’re getting somewhere I’ll let them cook

•Emily I love you so much Emily. Trevor too. Power friendship

•Girl why are you eating a raw carrot. Creature

•I’m still sad that we didn’t get any real Jake/Ellie interactions after they set up a rivalry between them in season one. Come on. Toxic friends. Or rivals who can’t let go of a past platonic bond

•When are we going to get a non-elimination episode it’s been like eight eliminations in a row now I think

•Jake…buddy…

•FUCK EM UP GRETT

•“Ok ok I’m sorry” immediately when Ashley tells him what to do. He’s such a lapdog I love him

•TESSALLY CRUMBS

•JAKE!! FUCK YEAH KILL HIM!! HE’S SO BACK!!

•I’m so proud of him

•Tom <3 I don’t really like him this season but he’s still my cutie patootie yk

•ALLY BABYGIRL YOU DID IT

•Can you guys tell who my favorite team is yet

•I feel like Gabby isn’t really acting villainous yet. Kinda let down on that front tbh

•Yul kinda seems vaguely attracted to Tom

•If Riya goes home…

•Why has no one voted for Yul yet

•Sorry but when did Grett like make up with Gabby? Wouldn’t it make sense for Gabby to still hold a grudge against her for season one? She holds grudges, we know she does, she did it in season one and she’s doing it now

•Listen I get Gabby’s anger but Tess, Aiden, and Tom are right like all of these people would betray Gabby at any other point given the chance and Alec fucked Ellie over multiple times

•Man I miss their friendship actually

•IF RIYA GOES HOME…

•OH MY GOD IS IT TESS

•FUCK

•ONC stop voting off some of your strongest characters before the merge challenge fuck off I’m so sick of these eliminations

•Gabby kinda ate tho

•“Someone say bye to Ally for me” sobbing

•Gabby you’re so babygirl I’m going to miss your friendship with Tom so much

•OLIVER’S BACK

•Wait are Tom and Jake going to talk next episode then? I mean I guess I’m excited but…also not really because it’s probably going to end how it always does. With them just moping and not resolving anything. Augh

Overall the episode was okay I guess? Animation is wonderful as always but I’m really sick of the same like three plot threads being drawn out and of an interesting character going home every single episode without being fully developed beforehand. I feel like the writers— as much effort and love as they’re putting in— aren’t very organized and could use a lore Bible or a clearer outline, because some plots and character arcs are just dropped randomly, and some aren’t resolved in a very sensible or well-paced fashion. That’s not to say the writing is entirely bad, the writers clearly have some good ideas and the dialogue gets better every episode, but I think they need to balance the story better and plan out what they’re going to do with each character more effectively— it would also be nice to have some more relationships between characters instead of each character having 1-2 focal relationships with a few vague allies or enemies outside of that, considering how much time we have left with the season still. But that’s just a matter of preference on my end, I <3 complex relationship webs.

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday... Grateful Dead and stopping time

TGIWednesday News

Years ago when I was an undergrad, we got tickets for the Grateful Dead concert.  I’m not saying it was a long time ago, just that we saw all the original band members together ;)   Prior to the concert we did whippets and weed and alcohol and literally something that our buddy touted as “you have to try one of these!”  We had excellent seats, and before the concert was over I was watching colorful soundwaves come off the stage and they looked like cascading floating long multi-colored telephone pole lines!  On the floor pit area were a lot of folks that began dancing when it started and never stopped until it was over.  They never once looked at the stage.  There was even a sea of microphones on stands and little cassette recorders they used to record this event and clearly they were Deadheads traveling town to town just to see (hear) the band.  Beyond the sights and sounds it was a “love fest” of that “forget all about time” feeling that I can still recall and smile about.   What is that time escape event for you?  Hopefully there are many.  During the creepiest time of the year, endeavor to avoid taking on the energy of dark energies and dark themes of costumes.  Without question you can enjoy the Fall season without being overcome by bad mojo!  Speaking of clearing bad mojo, please join us for this month’s Zoom event TONIGHT... Clearing Dark Energies/Alien’s and all things Evil!  Click here or scroll down for more information!  Blessings abound as you read this now.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING PAST HAUNTINGS ~ 

 I believe, think, know and feel that I can recall good times and filter out the bad by picking and choosing my thoughts here and now. I am ready, willing and able to let the past drift away and I’ll make every effort to be in this moment and to lean into a positive future. I know, when, where, how and why to honor that gut feeling and still small voice within me that can differentiate between evil and good. I am asking throughout all time lines and all languages and so it is. Wishing you the rest of your life will be the best of your life and remember to make a little progress each and every day.

Featured MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF OCTOBER!

Releasing Dark Energies - Clearing all the alien/evil haunting Halloween themes off of you can make a huge difference. Relieving Holiday Stress - We’ve all experienced a not so pleasant holiday or family gathering, this can make it a lot less turbulent. Traveling with Ease - Very popular. clears you for easy travel, getting you through the gate/customs/TSA faster, you could get an upgrade or even smoother flights and flawless connections!

LAST CALL -  LIVE ZOOM TONIGHT!

TODAY!! OCTOBER 26TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay)   https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-2022-zoom

October's Theme: Removing negative/alien/evil energies blocking your progress If you can’t seem to get off the couch, always exhausted, that raise or promotion eludes you, maybe romantic relationships don’t last, or you seem to have way to much month at the end of your money.  This is a Zoom you won’t want to miss!  We will have soft focus on the 5 anchors, and clearing everyone’s messy everything on this call!  Top 3 submission deadline was yesterday - we have dozens of clearings all lined up - I'm sure yours will be covered, join us and listen in! FYI, the write-in submissions are now closed. We have all the clearings set for the call. 

Pre-Register Here - $22

FREE Live Appearances

HAPPENING TOMORROW!

One of our absolute favorites!!

The Quantum Creator Summit 9 with host Helena Reilly TAKE BACK YOUR QUANTUM CREATOR POWER  What's In Your Vortex? Hosting a new speaker each day throughout October 27-November 5, 2022 My interview airs tomorrow - Oct 27th. If you miss it sign up anyway as there will surely be a replay. Click here now to register for FREE! 

STARTING TOMORROW!  

Jump Into Source Bliss Summit  with host Malika  October 27th -- November 11th 2022 An online Global Summit Celebrating Direct Source Connection FREE REGISTRATION HERE! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack OCTOBER 26TH "Today I will listen to my body with both intuition and common sense. I will research what I need to make myself feel better. I will supplement my life with vitamins, minerals, plenty of water and exercise, and balanced meals."

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY NOVEMBER 4TH | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

From the Fish Box

A Heartfelt Thank You 

Hey Jimmy! I've updated my prayer list below, thank you! I want you to know that your work--the Daily Prayers, the mp3s, the monthly calls, and the weekly newsletters--have really helped me become a better version of me over the years. As you say, make a little progress every day, and I truly feel like I am. It has been a very challenging journey, and the rewards--small and huge--are incredible. Your last newsletter really encapsulated my progress. "Who's right? Who's wrong? Who cares?"  I just have to keep doing me. And as I consciously create my life in each moment, I am rediscovering who I am. Thank you for inspiring me to make a little progress every day. The little steps forward eventually cross some distance :) - Nicole, Washington State

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

IMPORTANT REMINDER: After your purchase of any digital files in the shop or in a special offer, you MUST Download them to a desktop, tablet or phone AND save them to your own device. These files get moved, replaced and updated over time and will not be forever active on your original purchase link.  So be certain to download all of Jimmy’s eBook or audio files instead of listening to them from the live links directly. For Apple device users... look into installing the free app that the Apple Store provides so that you can download and store your files directly without requesting the alternate links. It may be worth looking into on your end for future convenience. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/files/id1232058109

Below is list of the 30+ audios in the MyBeliefWorks series…. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.  Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset 20% OFF Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

Lucky 777  Mental Stress 20% OFF Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep 20% OFF Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

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[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday... Grateful Dead and stopping time

TGIWednesday News

Years ago when I was an undergrad, we got tickets for the Grateful Dead concert.  I’m not saying it was a long time ago, just that we saw all the original band members together ;)   Prior to the concert we did whippets and weed and alcohol and literally something that our buddy touted as “you have to try one of these!”  We had excellent seats, and before the concert was over I was watching colorful soundwaves come off the stage and they looked like cascading floating long multi-colored telephone pole lines!  On the floor pit area were a lot of folks that began dancing when it started and never stopped until it was over.  They never once looked at the stage.  There was even a sea of microphones on stands and little cassette recorders they used to record this event and clearly they were Deadheads traveling town to town just to see (hear) the band.  Beyond the sights and sounds it was a “love fest” of that “forget all about time” feeling that I can still recall and smile about.   What is that time escape event for you?  Hopefully there are many.  During the creepiest time of the year, endeavor to avoid taking on the energy of dark energies and dark themes of costumes.  Without question you can enjoy the Fall season without being overcome by bad mojo!  Speaking of clearing bad mojo, please join us for this month’s Zoom event TONIGHT... Clearing Dark Energies/Alien’s and all things Evil!  Click here or scroll down for more information!  Blessings abound as you read this now.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING PAST HAUNTINGS ~ 

 I believe, think, know and feel that I can recall good times and filter out the bad by picking and choosing my thoughts here and now. I am ready, willing and able to let the past drift away and I’ll make every effort to be in this moment and to lean into a positive future. I know, when, where, how and why to honor that gut feeling and still small voice within me that can differentiate between evil and good. I am asking throughout all time lines and all languages and so it is. Wishing you the rest of your life will be the best of your life and remember to make a little progress each and every day.

Featured MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF OCTOBER!

Releasing Dark Energies - Clearing all the alien/evil haunting Halloween themes off of you can make a huge difference. Relieving Holiday Stress - We’ve all experienced a not so pleasant holiday or family gathering, this can make it a lot less turbulent. Traveling with Ease - Very popular. clears you for easy travel, getting you through the gate/customs/TSA faster, you could get an upgrade or even smoother flights and flawless connections!

LAST CALL -  LIVE ZOOM TONIGHT!

TODAY!! OCTOBER 26TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay)   https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-2022-zoom

October's Theme: Removing negative/alien/evil energies blocking your progress If you can’t seem to get off the couch, always exhausted, that raise or promotion eludes you, maybe romantic relationships don’t last, or you seem to have way to much month at the end of your money.  This is a Zoom you won’t want to miss!  We will have soft focus on the 5 anchors, and clearing everyone’s messy everything on this call!  Top 3 submission deadline was yesterday - we have dozens of clearings all lined up - I'm sure yours will be covered, join us and listen in! FYI, the write-in submissions are now closed. We have all the clearings set for the call. 

Pre-Register Here - $22

FREE Live Appearances

HAPPENING TOMORROW!

One of our absolute favorites!!

The Quantum Creator Summit 9 with host Helena Reilly TAKE BACK YOUR QUANTUM CREATOR POWER  What's In Your Vortex? Hosting a new speaker each day throughout October 27-November 5, 2022 My interview airs tomorrow - Oct 27th. If you miss it sign up anyway as there will surely be a replay. Click here now to register for FREE! 

STARTING TOMORROW!  

Jump Into Source Bliss Summit  with host Malika  October 27th -- November 11th 2022 An online Global Summit Celebrating Direct Source Connection FREE REGISTRATION HERE! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack OCTOBER 26TH "Today I will listen to my body with both intuition and common sense. I will research what I need to make myself feel better. I will supplement my life with vitamins, minerals, plenty of water and exercise, and balanced meals."

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY NOVEMBER 4TH | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

From the Fish Box

A Heartfelt Thank You 

Hey Jimmy! I've updated my prayer list below, thank you! I want you to know that your work--the Daily Prayers, the mp3s, the monthly calls, and the weekly newsletters--have really helped me become a better version of me over the years. As you say, make a little progress every day, and I truly feel like I am. It has been a very challenging journey, and the rewards--small and huge--are incredible. Your last newsletter really encapsulated my progress. "Who's right? Who's wrong? Who cares?"  I just have to keep doing me. And as I consciously create my life in each moment, I am rediscovering who I am. Thank you for inspiring me to make a little progress every day. The little steps forward eventually cross some distance :) - Nicole, Washington State

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

IMPORTANT REMINDER: After your purchase of any digital files in the shop or in a special offer, you MUST Download them to a desktop, tablet or phone AND save them to your own device. These files get moved, replaced and updated over time and will not be forever active on your original purchase link.  So be certain to download all of Jimmy’s eBook or audio files instead of listening to them from the live links directly. For Apple device users... look into installing the free app that the Apple Store provides so that you can download and store your files directly without requesting the alternate links. It may be worth looking into on your end for future convenience. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/files/id1232058109

Below is list of the 30+ audios in the MyBeliefWorks series…. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.  Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset 20% OFF Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

Lucky 777  Mental Stress 20% OFF Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep 20% OFF Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday... Grateful Dead and stopping time

TGIWednesday News

Years ago when I was an undergrad, we got tickets for the Grateful Dead concert.  I’m not saying it was a long time ago, just that we saw all the original band members together ;)   Prior to the concert we did whippets and weed and alcohol and literally something that our buddy touted as “you have to try one of these!”  We had excellent seats, and before the concert was over I was watching colorful soundwaves come off the stage and they looked like cascading floating long multi-colored telephone pole lines!  On the floor pit area were a lot of folks that began dancing when it started and never stopped until it was over.  They never once looked at the stage.  There was even a sea of microphones on stands and little cassette recorders they used to record this event and clearly they were Deadheads traveling town to town just to see (hear) the band.  Beyond the sights and sounds it was a “love fest” of that “forget all about time” feeling that I can still recall and smile about.   What is that time escape event for you?  Hopefully there are many.  During the creepiest time of the year, endeavor to avoid taking on the energy of dark energies and dark themes of costumes.  Without question you can enjoy the Fall season without being overcome by bad mojo!  Speaking of clearing bad mojo, please join us for this month’s Zoom event TONIGHT... Clearing Dark Energies/Alien’s and all things Evil!  Click here or scroll down for more information!  Blessings abound as you read this now.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING PAST HAUNTINGS ~ 

 I believe, think, know and feel that I can recall good times and filter out the bad by picking and choosing my thoughts here and now. I am ready, willing and able to let the past drift away and I’ll make every effort to be in this moment and to lean into a positive future. I know, when, where, how and why to honor that gut feeling and still small voice within me that can differentiate between evil and good. I am asking throughout all time lines and all languages and so it is. Wishing you the rest of your life will be the best of your life and remember to make a little progress each and every day.

Featured MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF OCTOBER!

Releasing Dark Energies - Clearing all the alien/evil haunting Halloween themes off of you can make a huge difference. Relieving Holiday Stress - We’ve all experienced a not so pleasant holiday or family gathering, this can make it a lot less turbulent. Traveling with Ease - Very popular. clears you for easy travel, getting you through the gate/customs/TSA faster, you could get an upgrade or even smoother flights and flawless connections!

LAST CALL -  LIVE ZOOM TONIGHT!

TODAY!! OCTOBER 26TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay)   https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-2022-zoom

October's Theme: Removing negative/alien/evil energies blocking your progress If you can’t seem to get off the couch, always exhausted, that raise or promotion eludes you, maybe romantic relationships don’t last, or you seem to have way to much month at the end of your money.  This is a Zoom you won’t want to miss!  We will have soft focus on the 5 anchors, and clearing everyone’s messy everything on this call!  Top 3 submission deadline was yesterday - we have dozens of clearings all lined up - I'm sure yours will be covered, join us and listen in! FYI, the write-in submissions are now closed. We have all the clearings set for the call. 

Pre-Register Here - $22

FREE Live Appearances

HAPPENING TOMORROW!

One of our absolute favorites!!

The Quantum Creator Summit 9 with host Helena Reilly TAKE BACK YOUR QUANTUM CREATOR POWER  What's In Your Vortex? Hosting a new speaker each day throughout October 27-November 5, 2022 My interview airs tomorrow - Oct 27th. If you miss it sign up anyway as there will surely be a replay. Click here now to register for FREE! 

STARTING TOMORROW!  

Jump Into Source Bliss Summit  with host Malika  October 27th -- November 11th 2022 An online Global Summit Celebrating Direct Source Connection FREE REGISTRATION HERE! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack OCTOBER 26TH "Today I will listen to my body with both intuition and common sense. I will research what I need to make myself feel better. I will supplement my life with vitamins, minerals, plenty of water and exercise, and balanced meals."

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY NOVEMBER 4TH | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

From the Fish Box

A Heartfelt Thank You 

Hey Jimmy! I've updated my prayer list below, thank you! I want you to know that your work--the Daily Prayers, the mp3s, the monthly calls, and the weekly newsletters--have really helped me become a better version of me over the years. As you say, make a little progress every day, and I truly feel like I am. It has been a very challenging journey, and the rewards--small and huge--are incredible. Your last newsletter really encapsulated my progress. "Who's right? Who's wrong? Who cares?"  I just have to keep doing me. And as I consciously create my life in each moment, I am rediscovering who I am. Thank you for inspiring me to make a little progress every day. The little steps forward eventually cross some distance :) - Nicole, Washington State

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

IMPORTANT REMINDER: After your purchase of any digital files in the shop or in a special offer, you MUST Download them to a desktop, tablet or phone AND save them to your own device. These files get moved, replaced and updated over time and will not be forever active on your original purchase link.  So be certain to download all of Jimmy’s eBook or audio files instead of listening to them from the live links directly. For Apple device users... look into installing the free app that the Apple Store provides so that you can download and store your files directly without requesting the alternate links. It may be worth looking into on your end for future convenience. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/files/id1232058109

Below is list of the 30+ audios in the MyBeliefWorks series…. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.  Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset 20% OFF Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

Lucky 777  Mental Stress 20% OFF Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep 20% OFF Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday... Grateful Dead and stopping time

TGIWednesday News

Years ago when I was an undergrad, we got tickets for the Grateful Dead concert.  I’m not saying it was a long time ago, just that we saw all the original band members together ;)   Prior to the concert we did whippets and weed and alcohol and literally something that our buddy touted as “you have to try one of these!”  We had excellent seats, and before the concert was over I was watching colorful soundwaves come off the stage and they looked like cascading floating long multi-colored telephone pole lines!  On the floor pit area were a lot of folks that began dancing when it started and never stopped until it was over.  They never once looked at the stage.  There was even a sea of microphones on stands and little cassette recorders they used to record this event and clearly they were Deadheads traveling town to town just to see (hear) the band.  Beyond the sights and sounds it was a “love fest” of that “forget all about time” feeling that I can still recall and smile about.   What is that time escape event for you?  Hopefully there are many.  During the creepiest time of the year, endeavor to avoid taking on the energy of dark energies and dark themes of costumes.  Without question you can enjoy the Fall season without being overcome by bad mojo!  Speaking of clearing bad mojo, please join us for this month’s Zoom event TONIGHT... Clearing Dark Energies/Alien’s and all things Evil!  Click here or scroll down for more information!  Blessings abound as you read this now.

TGIWednesday Download

~ CLEARING PAST HAUNTINGS ~ 

 I believe, think, know and feel that I can recall good times and filter out the bad by picking and choosing my thoughts here and now. I am ready, willing and able to let the past drift away and I’ll make every effort to be in this moment and to lean into a positive future. I know, when, where, how and why to honor that gut feeling and still small voice within me that can differentiate between evil and good. I am asking throughout all time lines and all languages and so it is. Wishing you the rest of your life will be the best of your life and remember to make a little progress each and every day.

Featured MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF OCTOBER!

Releasing Dark Energies - Clearing all the alien/evil haunting Halloween themes off of you can make a huge difference. Relieving Holiday Stress - We’ve all experienced a not so pleasant holiday or family gathering, this can make it a lot less turbulent. Traveling with Ease - Very popular. clears you for easy travel, getting you through the gate/customs/TSA faster, you could get an upgrade or even smoother flights and flawless connections!

LAST CALL -  LIVE ZOOM TONIGHT!

TODAY!! OCTOBER 26TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay)   https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/october-2022-zoom

October's Theme: Removing negative/alien/evil energies blocking your progress If you can’t seem to get off the couch, always exhausted, that raise or promotion eludes you, maybe romantic relationships don’t last, or you seem to have way to much month at the end of your money.  This is a Zoom you won’t want to miss!  We will have soft focus on the 5 anchors, and clearing everyone’s messy everything on this call!  Top 3 submission deadline was yesterday - we have dozens of clearings all lined up - I'm sure yours will be covered, join us and listen in! FYI, the write-in submissions are now closed. We have all the clearings set for the call. 

Pre-Register Here - $22

FREE Live Appearances

HAPPENING TOMORROW!

One of our absolute favorites!!

The Quantum Creator Summit 9 with host Helena Reilly TAKE BACK YOUR QUANTUM CREATOR POWER  What's In Your Vortex? Hosting a new speaker each day throughout October 27-November 5, 2022 My interview airs tomorrow - Oct 27th. If you miss it sign up anyway as there will surely be a replay. Click here now to register for FREE! 

STARTING TOMORROW!  

Jump Into Source Bliss Summit  with host Malika  October 27th -- November 11th 2022 An online Global Summit Celebrating Direct Source Connection FREE REGISTRATION HERE! 

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack OCTOBER 26TH "Today I will listen to my body with both intuition and common sense. I will research what I need to make myself feel better. I will supplement my life with vitamins, minerals, plenty of water and exercise, and balanced meals."

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY NOVEMBER 4TH | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

From the Fish Box

A Heartfelt Thank You 

Hey Jimmy! I've updated my prayer list below, thank you! I want you to know that your work--the Daily Prayers, the mp3s, the monthly calls, and the weekly newsletters--have really helped me become a better version of me over the years. As you say, make a little progress every day, and I truly feel like I am. It has been a very challenging journey, and the rewards--small and huge--are incredible. Your last newsletter really encapsulated my progress. "Who's right? Who's wrong? Who cares?"  I just have to keep doing me. And as I consciously create my life in each moment, I am rediscovering who I am. Thank you for inspiring me to make a little progress every day. The little steps forward eventually cross some distance :) - Nicole, Washington State

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

IMPORTANT REMINDER: After your purchase of any digital files in the shop or in a special offer, you MUST Download them to a desktop, tablet or phone AND save them to your own device. These files get moved, replaced and updated over time and will not be forever active on your original purchase link.  So be certain to download all of Jimmy’s eBook or audio files instead of listening to them from the live links directly. For Apple device users... look into installing the free app that the Apple Store provides so that you can download and store your files directly without requesting the alternate links. It may be worth looking into on your end for future convenience. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/files/id1232058109

Below is list of the 30+ audios in the MyBeliefWorks series…. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.  Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset 20% OFF Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

Lucky 777  Mental Stress 20% OFF Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep 20% OFF Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com  

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[somebodycall911onabc]

Spoon me, you idiot

Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.

Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.

Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.

Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.

Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.

With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”

Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.

“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”

Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.

Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.

It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.

When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.

“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.

“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.

She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”

Buck can only nod.

She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—

“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.

“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”

Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.

Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.

Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.

In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.

Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.

He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.

Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?

Buck very slowly puts the phone down.

He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.

His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?

Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—

it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.

It’s a loud silence. Deafening.

Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.

Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.

Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.

Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.

Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—

No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!

Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.

He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.

When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”

Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.

“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”

“Was wondering where you were.”

“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”

“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”

“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Buck shrugs.

“Answer, please.”

God, what a dad.

(Not that Buck would know.)

“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”

“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”

“Well, we’re inside.”

“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”

“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.

“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.

“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”

Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.

“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”

“But I—“

“Come to bed, Buck.”

And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.

Buck’s throat is very, very dry.

“I… yeah. OK.”

Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.

Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.

The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.

Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.

Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”

“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.

Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”

“Buck, you must have done this before.”

“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”

Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.

“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”

Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.

Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.

“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.

Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”

Buck stutters on his next breath.

“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.

If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.

Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”

“What are you—“

“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”

Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.

“Eddie, Eddie I—“

“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”

“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.

“You won’t,” Eddie says.

“I almost did.”

“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”

“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.

“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.

“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“

“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”

“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”

“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”

Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.

“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.

Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.

And then:

“Just so you know, I love you.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 

Gossip - Thai BL 

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 

Breaking News 

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[moon-light-jukebox]

“If you want me to, I will.” [Hotch x Reader]

masterlist

Summary: Reader has worked for Aaron Hotchner for the past 6 months as the babysitter to his son, Jack.

Pairing: Hotch x (Female) Reader

Word Count: 7.4k – she thicc

Category: Smut/Fluff…and some angst because of who I am as a person.

Content Warning:

A/n: We all know that Hotch’s favorite album is the Beatles "White Album." And I have odd choices for songs that I use as lullabies. This idea came into my head and never left. This video of Billie Eillish singing part of the song is the closest to the structure of how I imagined it. Okay, okay, look, I know Roy wasn’t diagnosed until season 10. But I am taking creative liberties because I needed Jack to be younger.

Meaning this would be set around season 7. Hotch would be about 41, Jack is around 7; so, I made Reader around 26, giving them a 15-year age gap. Please don’t check my math. 😌

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized texts are Reader’s thoughts.

-- If you want me to, I will. --

I was disoriented when I woke up. This isn’t my bed, I thought groggily. Wait…this isn’t even my house.

“Y/n,” a deep voice rumbled beside me.

I jackknifed up into a sitting position, eyes wide and my face flushed with embarrassment. “Mr. Hotchner!” I quickly brought my hand up to my cheek to make sure I hadn’t drooled in my sleep. Because that would really be the cherry on top of my embarrassment. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep. This is so embarrassing.”

Mr. Hotchner had been crouched down, putting himself level with his living room couch; the same couch he came home and found me sleeping on. In all the months I’d worked for the Hotchner/Brooks family, I’d never seen Mr. Hotchner smile anytime he wasn’t talking to his son, Jack. He always looked incredibly serious and sometimes incredibly sad; but the normal scowl was missing from his face as he looked at me, I noticed, watching him rise to a standing position.

“It’s fine, y/n. It’s after 1 o’clock in the morning.” He shifted, turning to go open the gun safe he kept in the part of the living room where his desk sat. Mr. Hotchner, or Hotch, as he kept telling me to call him, was the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit with the FBI. Which was just a very fancy way of saying he was a profiler that was in charge of all the other profilers. Some people just look like the jobs they have; Mr. Hotchner was one of those people. “Thank you for staying late, I didn’t think things were going to run this long. I didn’t even know you were here until I called Jessica a few hours ago.”

“Oh, right,” I mumbled as I began to gather my things from the coffee table and put them into my bag. “She called me a little after 4; something happened with her dad, I think.” I zipped my bag shut, standing up quickly. “I didn’t mind helping out, Mr. Hotchner.”

He made a sound that was almost a chuckle. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Hotchner, y/n. I know I’m a lot older than you, but that makes me feel ancient.”

“You’re not that much older than me,” I protested.

He looked incredulous. “Y/n, you’re still in college.”

Well, that stings a bit. “I’m in graduate school,” I said, my voice dampening a little bit. “I’m almost 27.”

Mr. Hotchner blinked at me. “Really? I thought you were younger than that…”

“My age didn’t come up in the numerous background checks you did on me?” I scoffed, immediately wincing as the words flew out of my mouth. “Oh my god, I just keep making this worse.” I slung my bag over my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner. For falling asleep on your couch…and for every moment after that. I’ll just go now.”

"Y/n," he called. "hang on, it's really late, and…I still need to pay you."

Jesus. “It is late, Mr. Hotchner, that’s why I need to head home.” I forced an awkward laugh. “I have class at 9 am.”

He pushed his hands into his pockets, regarding me in a way that made me squirm. I wasn’t used to a person paying attention to me the way Mr. Hotchner did. It didn’t make me uneasy; I just felt like I couldn’t hide anything from him…which made me uneasy. “What classes are you taking this semester?”

I don’t know why it stung so much that he knew virtually nothing about me. I’d worked for him for 6 months; he wasn’t obligated to know anything about me other than how I took care of his son. “I’m actually done with my course work this semester,” I mumbled. “I’m a TA…in a class that starts at 9 am.” It doesn’t matter, you’re just tired. “You-you can just pay me for tonight the next time I’m over. It’s not like you’re gonna stiff me.” I walked over to the door and threw a very quick “goodnight, Mr. Hotchner” over my shoulder before I scurried out.

I missed the quiet “Aaron. You can call me Aaron.”

--

The entire drive home, my thoughts were on Aaron Hotchner. None of this was what I expected when I took this job. I had been in graduate school for 2 years now. I had already gotten my master’s degree and had been accepted into the Ph.D. program. There are many branches of psychology, but I had always been fascinated with cognitive psychology; it seemed only natural that that is what I would pursue in graduate school. Once it became time to focus my interest in preparation for my dissertation, I decided to study the cognitive decay in Alzheimer's patients. We knew that they lost memories, but I wanted to explore how their basic cognitive functions were affected in certain settings.

As part of my program, I was a TA in an intro psych class, and I conducted my research at the hospital connected to the university. That’s where I first met Jessica Brooks. Despite getting a stipend for my teaching assistant work, I had been taking odd jobs to help make ends meet; D.C. wasn't cheap. When I mentioned that I had experience with kids, Jessica had immediately told me that she was needing help caring for her nephew in the wake of her father, Roy's diagnosis. She wanted to keep him at home, which was both admirable and time-consuming.

I wasn’t prepared for the gigantic background check that I was subjected to. I very quickly learned that my potential employer had some power at the FBI. Jessica had raved to him about me, so he agreed to meet with me. When Jessica told me he worked for the FBI, I was expecting a bureaucrat, kind of short, receding hairline, soft from sitting behind a desk all day.

Aaron Hotchner was none of those things. He was a total cliché; he was tall, dark, and handsome. His eyes were such a deep brown they were almost black, his hair was black, and he towered over me. His hand was firm when he shook mine. I initially thought he didn’t like me because of the scowl he wore on his face; now I knew that was just his default expression. I’m pretty sure he invented Resting Bitch Face. I think it was my meeting with Jack that sealed the deal. We had clicked right away. The 7-year-old was impressed by my knowledge of both DC and Marvel comics. I could still remember our first meeting so clearly; when in a move that I now know is so much like his father, he had asked me an interview question of his own.

“What is Spiderman’s middle name?” the boy had asked with a suspicious squint of his eyes.

This kid is poser checking me, I had thought with amusement. “That would depend on which Spiderman you’re referring to. Assuming it’s Peter Parker, his middle name is Benjamin.”

We were best friends after that.

I loved Jack; I really did. And I was paid well enough that he was the only child I babysat for, the rest of my time spent working on my research and plotting my dissertation. It was clear that Aaron Hotchner loved his son, and he felt guilty for not being around more. He was fierce and intimidating any other time, but once he was with his son, his entire face would transform. His smiles came easier, his eyes twinkled, and he didn’t seem so scary anymore.

None of that is why he made me nervous, though. What made me so nervous is the fear that one day I was going to spend enough time with him for him to see the feelings I had so stupidly developed for him.  

--

The very next night, I was hiding in the kitchen floor in Aaron Hotchner’s apartment.

“Ready or not, here I come!” the little voice called out before his feet started stomping loudly across the floor.

From my position behind the kitchen counter, I tried very hard to remain silent, despite my amusement. Jack Hotchner was many wonderful, wonderful things. Sneaky was not one of them. Which is why I wasn’t surprised when I heard his little feet hurry towards me, and I didn’t lose my balance when he turned the corner and launched himself at me. “Oomph!” was the only reasonable sound to make when a tiny human slammed into you.

Jack was delighted. “I FOUND YOU!”

My response was cut off by the sound of the front door opening. Jack was off me in a flash, barreling towards the living room. “Daddy!”

Mr. Hotchner made a similar “oomph” noise when Jack jumped on him, confirming my theory. I rose to my feet quickly, smoothing down my clothes.

“We were playing hide and seek, Daddy!” Jack informed his father. “I found y/n every time! She never found me once!” His chest puffed out with pride, making my face break into a smile.

“You’re just an excellent hider, Jack-attack.”

Mr. Hotchner’s eyes settled on my face then, for just a moment I saw something so sad in those eyes that the breath seized in my lungs.

He cleared his throat, seeming to shake off whatever he was thinking before smiling at his son. “I’m glad you had a good time with, y/n, buddy.”

Jack nodded vigorously. “I helped make dinner!”

“You did?” He questioned in fake astonishment. “When did you make dinner?”

“Tonight!”

Mr. Hotchner looked at me quizzically. “Oh, um, I wasn’t actually supposed to watch Jack tonight…but Jessica called and asked if I could. It was really last minute, and she’d already bought some stuff to make dinner…” I trailed off. “I hope that’s okay. Jesus Christ, y/n. You’re a 26-year-old woman, get it together.

His attention moved from me to his son. "Jack, go get changed into your pj's. It's almost bedtime." When Jack's mouth opened to protest this great injustice, his father went on. "You can tell y/n bye when you're done."

So much for a speedy escape, I thought. Instead, I just smiled at him. "Yep, I'll be right here, little man." Satisfied with this, Jack jumped out of his father's arms and ran towards his room.

“Why did Jessica need you to come over? Did something happen with Roy?” He looked genuinely worried, walking into the kitchen to stand near me.

I reached out and put a hand on his arm without thinking. "Oh, oh god no, nothing like that." Realizing I was touching him, I snatched my hand back like he'd burned me. "Sorry. She…she-um had a date."

His eyebrows rose so high they almost hit his hairline. “A date?” he asked, disbelief dripping from his words.

I chuckled. “That’s what she told me.”

He walked back into the living room then, leaning back against the couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he focused his dark gaze on me. “What about you?”

“…What about me what?”

“Does Jessica ever have to cover for you when you have dates?”

If Aaron Hotchner hadn’t made me so nervous, I might have picked up on how he phrased that question. As it happens, all I could do was fidget under his gaze. “Oh,” I chuckled nervously. “Ah, no. She doesn’t have to do that. I don’t really date.”

That had one of his eyebrows rising, his arms crossing across his chest. "Why?"

Because I want you to crack my back like a glowstick. “Um…you know, it’s hard to find the time.”

Thankfully Jack chose that moment to come barreling out of his room, charging full force at me. “You’re still here!” he exclaimed.

I smiled down at him when his arms wrapped around my hips. I put one hand on the back of his head, the other on his back, giving him a squeeze. “Of course I am! I couldn’t leave without telling you goodbye.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he mumbled.

My throat worked as a sudden wave of emotion hit me. "Oh, Jack," my voice was thicker than usual when I spoke. "I don't like leaving you either, but you'll see me before you know it. I promise."

Once we had finally pried Jack off me, Mr. Hotchner went to take him to bed. He turned to me when he scooped Jack up in his arms. “Thank you for today.”

“It’s no problem, Mr. Hotchner.”

“You know you don’t have to call me that,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “Most people call me Hotch. Or you could call me Aaron.”

I didn't know what to say to that; all I could do was give him an awkward smile. I was gone before he came back into the living room. I didn't want to leave, I never did, but I couldn't risk being alone with…Aaron.

--

The following Thursday night, my phone started ringing just after 11:30. Glancing at it, I saw it was Jessica. “Hey,” I said in greeting.

“Hey, y/n,” she said, sounding frazzled. “I have a huge favor to ask. Dad’s home health nurse had to leave early tonight.” “Is something wrong with Melinda?” I hope not. She’s the sweetest.

“No, I don’t think so. But she needs to go home and there’s no one to sit with Jack. But Aaron isn’t home yet…”

“I’ll be there in 20.”

Which is why I was now in Aaron Hotchner’s apartment after midnight in a pair of shorts that were so short I only ever wore them at home and a t-shirt that I had had for forever. Jessica had sounded so upset when she called, I hadn't even thought to change. She had promised to be back as quick as she could; she said that Mr. Hotchner was flying back from a case, and she didn’t expect him until 5 a.m. at the earliest.

When I first arrived, I had tried to watch TV, my mind too wired to sleep, even though I had class at 9 am in the morning. Sighing, I glanced over at the clock to see it was just after 1:45 in the morning.

“Fuuuuuuck,” I whined out loud. I have to go to sleep; even if it’s just a little nap. I remembered Jessica had left some chamomile tea here for the nights she stayed over to watch Jack. Finding the kettle and the tea itself was no problem; the problem presented itself when I had to get a mug to put the tea in.

I had never considered myself a particularly short person; sure, I had to stretch to get things from time to time, but everybody did that. Looking up into the upper cabinets in the Hotchner house had me reconsidering that. The mugs were on the very top shelf and try as I might, I just couldn’t seem to reach them; my fingers kept grazing over the ceramic.

“Goddamnit,” I mumbled in a huff. What is the point to put mugs way the fuck up there? Some of us are a perfectly normal height…but noooo I have to work for giants. I braced my hands on the countertop as I heaved myself up on to said countertop. Once my knees were in place, I got the offending cup without further problems.

I blame how focused I was on my task for my not hearing the front door open, or the footsteps that followed. Which is why I had a mild heart attack when I heard a voice that sounded highly amused say from behind me, “What are you doing?”

Several things happened all at once, and very quickly. I let out the most embarrassing squeak in all of history, I lost my balance on the counter and the cup fell from my hand. The cup crashed to the floor and shattered. My fate might have been the same but two large hands caught me, gripping my hips from behind. I looked down to see his long fingers wrapping around my waist, gripping me tightly; my difficulty breathing then had nothing to do with how scared I was.  

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said softly, still not releasing me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, I get it,” I said lightly, attempting to act like I wasn’t going into cardiac arrest because he was touching me. “You’re a very stealthy FBI agent. It was bound to happen.”

He chuckled before his hands pushed my hips so I was twisting around, my legs shifting until I was sitting on the countertop, staring into the same dark eyes I thought about far too often. They weren’t as harsh as they usually were; tonight, they were soft and warm, and they made my pulse race a bit faster.

I moved to get off the counter when the hands that were still on my hips stopped me. “Hang on, let me clean this up first. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Fantastic, I thought, hiding my face in my hands. It seems I was incapable of not making a fool out of myself in front of this man.

He worked quickly while I debated changing my name and fleeing the country; in the next moment, he was standing in front of me again. "What's wrong?"

“Oh, nothing,” I said, not moving my hands. “Just dying of embarrassment.”

Aaron actually laughed at that, moving closer to stand between my thighs, his hands coming to rest on the countertop on either side of my hips. “Why are you embarrassed?”

I dropped my hands then. “Because this is becoming a pattern! First, I fell asleep on your couch, then I almost fell off your counter and cracked my head like an egg.” I bit my lip, shifting under his gaze. “I’m sorry and thank you for catching me.”

“I didn’t mind,” he said softly.

He still had that soft look on his face, but he was smiling too like he was enjoying my embarrassment. He probably is. I had never been this close to him before. I didn’t know his eyes weren’t just one flat color of brown, but that lighter shades of brown whirled throughout. I had never felt the heat of his body before, but now I was so close I could smell him. Why does he have to smell good? I whined internally. If he just stunk, I could get over this.

This was exactly why I tried very hard to stay as far away from him as possible because I lost the ability to think clearly whenever I was with him. I couldn't stop my eyes from moving down to his lips. I was eye level with him from my position on the counter; all I had to do to brush my lips across his was lean forward, so that’s exactly what I did. His body stiffened slightly at the first touch of my lips to his. I pulled back, ready to apologize when his hand wrapped around the back of my head and pulled me back to him. There was nothing soft about this kiss. His free hand gripped my thigh, my hands held on to his shirt, trying to pull him closer. My tongue brushed against his mouth before he sucked on the tip of it, causing me to shudder. He took a step forward as his tongue twirled around mine. I could feel him when he settled against me; he was hard, and I found myself shifting my hips to rub against him.

The shrill ringing of his phone broke us apart suddenly. He was panting, his cheeks were slightly flushed. I thought I heard him let out a “fuck” under his breath as he reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone.

“Hey Jessica,” he answered.

Now that our moment was broken, I felt very self-conscious. What the fuck did I just do?! He is my boss. He is Jack’s dad. Aaron took a step back and I slid off the counter. This turned out to be a very bad idea on my part; my body brushed down the front of his, causing me to bite my lip to silence the moan that threatened to escape.

“Yeah, I landed a little while ago,” he said as I left the kitchen.

WhatthefuckWhatthefuck. I heard him end the call with Jessica before he quickly walked into the living room. A look of relief washed over his face when he saw me. “I thought you’d try to slip away.”

“I thought about it,” I told him honestly.

“Listen, y/n, about that in the kitchen,” he began.

I held up my hands. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hotchner. I don’t know why I did that; I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” I was giving him an out because I couldn’t handle hearing the rejection I knew was coming. “I just…I guess we got caught up in the moment? And you’re really tired, I’m sure. I’m so sorry.” I was rambling now. “If you don’t want me to watch Jack anymore-“

“Y/n, no,” he interrupted. “No, this…you’re right, it was just a heat of the moment thing. It happens. I’m sorry I lost myself for a moment.” He cleared his throat, his face still set in softness. “Jack loves you. He doesn’t need to suffer for any more of my mistakes.”

Mistakes. The word hollowed me out and left me cold. I just nodded. “Right,” I said in what I hoped was an even tone. “Just a mistake. I should get going. It’s really late.”

Which is how I found myself driving home at almost 3 in the morning with tears running down my cheeks. A mistake.

--

Things went back to normal after that night. I continued to avoid Aaron Hotchner at all costs and he…did whatever he did. I tried to hide the hurt whenever I did happen to see him, but it was so hard when I could still feel the tingle from his lips on mine.

A few days after the “mistake,” I was babysitting Jack again. He’d went to bed at his normal 8:30 and all was quiet. I decided to do some TA work while I waited for Mr. Hotchner to come home. I was halfway through grading an essay when I heard the first noise come from Jack’s room. Lifting my fingers from the keys of my computer, I waited to see if I heard another sound. I didn’t have to wait long; not even a minute passed before I heard a strained cry. Jumping up, I hurried down the hall to Jack’s bedroom.

Cracking the door open I called, “Jack-attack? Are you okay, little man?” I didn’t see him right away; he had hidden under his covers and curled up into a little ball. “Hey, Jack. It’s just y/n.” I sat down on the edge of his bed. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

I saw the lump under the blankets start to move hesitantly before I saw his brown hair peak out of the blanket near his pillow. His eyes were wide and with the light shining in from the hall, I could see tears gleam in them. “Oh, buddy,” I cooed. “Did you have a bad dream?”

The boy nodded. “Yeah…there was a bad man…and my daddy didn’t come save me.”

I felt my breath seize in my chest. Jessica had told me a brief version of what happened to Jack's mother a few years ago. "Jack, you know your dad would always do whatever he had to do to come to save you." I shifted my position on the bed until I was sitting beside him. "He'd never let anything bad happen to you." Jack started inching closer to me. I held out my arms and smiled when he lunged for me; I wrapped him in a tight hug, rubbing circles on his back.

“My dad just isn’t home a lot anymore. He has a lot of work to do,” he mumbled into my shirt.  

“Your dad would be home if he could, Jack.” I couldn’t quite keep the sadness out of my voice. It wasn’t fair to either Jack or his dad that he had to be away so much.

“I know,” the little boy whispered. “I just miss him sometimes.”

“Do you want to call him?” I offered. “I don’t think he’d mind.”

Jack just shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” He turned his face up to look at me. “Will you stay with me?”

I moved so he lay beside me with my left arm still squeezed around him. “Of course, bud.” I scooted down the bed so I was reclining instead of sitting straight up, pulling the cover-up over him again. "Do you want me to read you another story?"  

He just shuffled under his covers, looking at me with the bashful innocence of childhood. “Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?”

I wasn’t the biggest fan of singing in front of people, but how could I turn this little face down? I just nodded. “Do you have any requests?”

“Nope,” he answered with a little grin on his face.

Unfortunately, at that moment every single lullaby I had ever know left my head. I couldn’t think of a single traditional lullaby. So, I decided to improvise. I started singing slower songs I knew, some of them might not have been appropriate for a 7-year-old’s lullaby, but I don’t think Jack cared that much.

He was almost out, drifting on the edge between deep sleep and awake. My arm was still around his shoulder, he was still snuggled to my side. I decided one more song would be enough, which meant I pulled out my second Beatles song of the night.

“Who knows how long I’ve loved you?

You know I love you still.

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to, I will.

For if I ever saw-“

I glanced up, immediately sensing there was someone else in the room. To my horror, Jack’s father was standing in the doorway, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I swallowed nervously, then I turned to press a kiss against Jack’s soft forehead before I gently detangled myself from him. I straightened my clothes that to my further embarrassment had shifted around because I was laying with a wiggly child, then, attempting to keep my face impassive, I walked to the door, moving around his father as I exited.

Mr. Hotchner walked into the room and checked on his son, while I moved into the living room to gather my things. I wonder if he just left the money by the door, I mused. If he did, I could just make a dash for the door. I mean, if he didn’t, he could always just pay me next time. Sadly, my plans were escape were foiled yet again by the man in question entering the room.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I know he was up past his bedtime. I put him down at 8, but he had a nightmare." I was babbling, not meeting his eyes, my gaze very intently focused on my bag. "He asked me to stay with him until he fell asleep…" I finally looked up, shrugged, and said, "He's very hard to say no to."

“You don’t have to apologize for being nice to my son, y/n,” he said softly. “That’s one of my favorite songs on the White Album, you know.”

I hadn’t known that. “Mr. Hotch-“

He took a step towards me before I finished speaking. “Y/n, please, I can barely handle this as it is. Please call me Aaron.”

I just blinked up at him. “So, ‘Hotch’ is off the table now?”

That had a soft smile curving his lips upward. "That was a limited-time deal. You should have been quicker." I saw his hand rise up slowly, so slowly that I would have had time to move away…but I just couldn’t. He brushed my hair back from my face, his eyes were two pools of black in the dim light, they were swirling with something that made my stomach flutter.

“Aaron,” I breathed, having no idea what I was going to say.

He let out a soft sigh, turning his eyes upwards. When he brought them back down to mine, his hand slid from its place near my ear to cradle the back of my head. His eyes searched mine for a moment before his shoulders dropped slightly. “Fuck it,” he muttered before he leaned down and sealed his lips over mine.

I might have thought this kiss would be questioning or unsure, but there was nothing unsure about it. Aaron kissed me like he was starving for me. His teeth caught my bottom lip and tugged as he pulled away. “It wasn’t a mistake,” he breathed before bringing his lips more firmly against mine.

My hands began to move over his body; one of my hands grabbed his tie and used it to pull him closer to me, the other reached up to brush against the short, soft hair on the back of his neck. “It wasn’t?” I questioned when we broke away for air.

Aaron’s lips moved across my cheek, leaving soft kisses until he reached my ear. “No, sweet girl, it wasn’t.” His mouth moved down to my neck; his kisses turning into bites that were sure to become brushes. I didn’t care, I needed him. My hands moved to his shirt, quickly trying to undo all the buttons.

His hands moved down to the waist of my jeans, deftly flicking the button open before sliding the zipper down. “Is this what you want?” he asked as his hand touched my lower stomach, his fingers brushing over the elastic band of my panties.

“Yes,” I said, still working to free him from his shirt. “I want this so much.”

The fingers of his free hand rose up to tap my chin, forcing my eyes up until I met his gaze. "I want to hear you say my name again." His other hand lifted from my stomach to slide over the flair of my hip until he was gripping my ass. "Whenever I laid in bed that night after I had you pressed against me in my kitchen when I stroked my cock, I thought about you moaning my name.” The hand that was on my chin pulled away, skimming down my body until he was grabbing the other side of my ass. “So, say it. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you, Aaron.” So, so much.

His hands moved to the backs of my thighs, then he lifted me up his body, startling me. Jesus Christ, how strong is this guy? I threw my arms around his neck as he started walking us down towards his bedroom. A giggle escaped my lips. “I could have walked, you know.”

We had already entered his room; he tossed me gently on the bed before he turned to close and lock the door. He walked to stand at the side of his bed, his eyes devouring me. “I couldn’t give you a chance to sneak away again, sweet girl.” Aaron pulled off his tie before he finished unbuttoning his shirt, shedding it on the floor.

Fuck. Fuck, he’s hot. I pulled my own shirt over my head, and his body was on top of me before it even left my hands. Aaron's mouth moved down to my collarbones, his hand slipped behind my back to unhook my bra. Once the straps were down my arms, Aaron lifted himself up on his arms to toss it away, his eyes running over my body. "You're so beautiful," he said softly like it wasn't the sweetest compliment I'd ever been paid. He leaned over again, his lips skimming down to my chest before he wrapped his lips around one of my nipples.

“Fuck, Aaron,” I moaned.

He gave my nipple a flick with his tongue before he lifted his head. “Ssh, sweet girl. You have to be quiet. Can you do that?” He kissed his way over to my other breast. “I can’t do this if you won’t be quiet.”

“I can be quiet,” I whispered right before I bit my lip to smother my moan at the feeling of his mouth on me. “Maybe.”

His breath puffed against my skin when he laughed at me. My hands threaded through his hair when he brought his face back up to mine. My mouth opened eagerly for him, my tongue slicking over his while I tried to grind my body against him. Aaron was smiling when he broke the kiss, shifting up onto his knees. “Well, I appreciate you trying to be quiet at any rate,” he teased.

My response died in my throat when his fingers yanked my jeans off my legs, bringing my panties with them. I was totally bare in front of him. His eyes raked down my body in a way that would make me self-conscious with anyone else. How could I ever be self-conscious with a man who looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world?

But when he started to kiss further down my body, I grabbed his arm, attempting to pull him back up to kiss me. “Aaron,” I whispered.

He pressed a soft kiss to my collarbone. “What’s wrong, beautiful?”

“You don’t…you don’t have to do…that,” I mumbled, feeling my face heat up.

Aaron braced himself on his arms and stared down at me. Enlightenment dawned on his face a second later. He leaned down to kiss me softly. “Do you not want me to?”

I bit my lip, feeling more flustered. “It’s just…I’ve never…and I know that guys don’t really like-.“ My words were cut off when he placed another kiss to my lips, still incredibly soft, but with more force than before.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I won't," he said quietly. "But I can assure you, I can't think of anything more I'd rather do than lick your pussy until you cum all over my face." He skimmed his lips over my cheek to my ear. "And once you've come down, I want to slide my cock inside you and feel how soft and wet you are." His kisses moved down to my neck, his mouth sucking on my pulse point. "Then I want to fuck you until you're whimpering against my lips to make you cum again.”

I felt my core throb at his words. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. He lifted his gaze when he got back to my breast, flicking my nipple with his tongue. “Is that what you want too, sweet girl?”

I have never wanted anything more, I thought; but I was so far gone that all I could do was nod.

He gave me a soft smile, moving down the bed further to settle between my thighs, pulling them further apart. I felt a kiss pressed to one thigh, then the other. His hot breath washed over the part of me that was already so wet for him. “You’re beautiful here too,” he murmured before he pressed a kiss to my clit. I lifted my hips at the sensation, causing him to chuckle and move his hands to wrap around my thighs, his arms anchoring me in place. A second later I understood why he braced my hips. The second he flattened his tongue and licked the length of my pussy, my hips started moving involuntarily and my fingers tangled in his hair.

I felt a puff of air against me when he laughed again, and it made me smile. I didn’t expect Aaron Hotchner to be fun…or dirty in bed. All thought immediately left my head when he parted me with his tongue, dipping into my entrance before spearing his tongue into me. I felt the vibration when he moaned against me. "You taste so fucking good, y/n," he said, his voice still hushed. Giving my entrance one last lick, he moved up to my clit.

He spent time moving his tongue around me, learning what made me squirm. When he started fluttering his tongue quickly over my clit my hands started tugging on his hair and my thighs tried to snap together.

“Aaron,” I whined, attempting to rock my hips against his mouth.

I think he understood what I needed better than I did. His left hand released my thigh and moved down to my heat, just below his mouth. I felt his fingers brush over me before he pushed on inside me, causing my back to arch off the bed. “Aaron, Aaron, fuck.” He added a second finger, pumping them in a rhythm that complimented the movements of his mouth.

I wasn't prepared for when his lips closed around my clit, sucking lightly, while his fingers started to curl inside of me. “Oh my God," I moaned out, louder than I should have. "Aaron, I'm going to cum." I started pulling on his hair so hard it must have hurt, but he just moaned against me, never slowing his pace. "Aaron, fuck, please. I think…I-I-“

My words broke off as the band inside of me snapped, my pussy clamping down on his fingers and my back arching off of the bed, my mouth hanging open in a silent scream.

Aaron slowed his motions, slowly bringing me through the orgasm and back down to Earth. With one final kiss to my thigh, he rose and moved up my body until his face was hovering over mine. His lips were shiny with my arousal, they also looked a little swollen, but more importantly, they were smirking at me.

I’ll give him that one. Reaching up I cradled his jaw in my hands, bringing his mouth down to mine. I tasted myself on his lips and tongue when he licked into my mouth. Despite the powerful orgasm he had just given me, I was still desperate for him. I broke away from his mouth. “Aaron, I need you.”

He pressed another kiss to my lips before he lifted up and stood at the side of the bed, undoing the buckle of his belt. My eyes were fixed on his movements, watching as he unbuttoned his slacks and slid them down his legs. His cock was a thick pipe outlined in his underwear. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband before he spoke again. "I'll give you everything you need, greedy girl." Aaron pushed his underwear down, his cock springing free before he climbed back on the bed.

He was so much thicker than I expected he would be. I moved my hand down to wrap my fingers around him, pumping his length. He let out a groan and lowered his forehead to mine. “Baby,” he muttered. “I…fuck. I have to get a condom.”

“Aaron,” I whined. “I want to feel you inside me. I’m on birth control. Please?” The thought of anything separating me from this man was abhorrent to me in that moment.

I saw his willpower crumble. “Are you sure?”

So sure. “Please,” I begged lifting my head to kiss him. “I want you to fuck me.”

With a groan that I will remember for the rest of my life, he shifted his hips forwarded, allowing my hands to guide him to my entrance. Aaron kissed me then, slowly and deeply has he started to push inside me. My hand flew away from his cock, both my arms wrapping around his body to pull him closer to me. I felt my nails digging into his back.

Aaron broke our kiss with another soft moan that sounded like my name. “I knew you’d feel like this,” he whispered, pressing deeper inside me. “I knew your pussy would be this fucking tight, this fucking hot, and so fucking soft." He started moving in and out of my pussy, going in a little further each time. “You still have to be quiet, sweet girl.”

“I’m trying,” I moaned, my pussy already starting to flutter around him when he finally pushed all the way inside of me. “Aaron, fucking Christ.” I felt him everywhere, and I somehow still craved more.

He grabbed my thigh, pulling if further up his side, allowing himself to sink deeper inside of me. “I know, sweet girl. I know.” He started a slow pace, pulling almost all the way out of me before slamming back inside me.

My head was thrashing against the pillows, my teeth digging into my bottom lip. “Aaron, I need you to fuck me harder. Please.”

He groaned at my words, placing a sloppy kiss to my mouth before pulling back. He pulled one of my legs up until it was over his shoulder, the other still wrapped around his waist, and then he started to move faster inside of me.

I braced one hand against the headboard as he pounded into me. “Oh my god, Aaron,” my voice was a low whimper as I looked down to see his cock sliding in and out of me. “You feel so fucking good.”

“Baby, I want you to reach down and rub your clit for me while I fuck your tight little pussy.” His pace started to speed up as he spoke. “Can you do that for me?” He groaned when I complied, the stimulation to my clit causing my pussy to flutter around him. “Good girl.”

My fingers began to work frantically. “Don’t stop, Aaron. Don’t stop,” I begged. “I’m so close.”

“I know, sweet girl, I can feel you. Your pussy feels so good squeezing around my cock. You’re going to make me cum.” His thrusts were starting to get choppier, one of his hands braced on the top of the headboard while the other held my leg on his shoulder. “Do you want me to cum inside your pretty pussy, sweet girl?” He groaned loudly when my walls clenched around him. “It feels like you like the idea of that, don’t you baby?”

My fingers continued their pace, my head thrashing, my body trembling. “Yes. Fuck, Aaron. Please cum inside of me. Please.”

Aaron felt it first and acted quickly; his hand moved from my leg to cover my mouth. “That’s it, cum for me, baby.”

I thought my orgasm earlier tonight was powerful. It was nothing compared to how I felt when I came around his cock, only to feel him find his own release a moment after.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, y/n,” he breathed, giving a last few jerks inside of my body, pushing against the fluttering aftershocks of my orgasm. He rolled off me, careful not to drop all of his weight on top of me. To my relief, he quickly gathered me in his arm, pulling me against his body, pressing a soft kiss to my sweaty forehead.

My ear was pressed against his chest, allowing me to hear his heartbeat slowdown from its frantic pace and his breathing even out. I turned my head and pressed a kiss to his chest while his hand continued to stroke my back.

“That…that was amazing,” I said, looking up at him. “If I knew you had that in you, I wouldn’t have run out of the room every time I was alone with you.”

He laughed softly, his eyes sparkling. “Well, at least you’ll know for next time.”

My thoughts sobered at his words. Next time

“Hey,” he said, his hand cupping the side of my face. “No, don’t go away. I just got you.” He kissed my forehead again, then the tip of my nose, then both of my eyelids, before he tilted my face up further so he could press a kiss to my lips. “We’ll figure this out. We have to. I care too much about you to let you go.”

“I care about you too,” I replied, snuggling against his chest, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy.

I was almost asleep when I heard his voice rumble again. “Will you sing Beatles songs to me when I can’t sleep too?” His voice was sleepy and teasing.

I smiled into the darkness, not bothering to open my eyes. “If you want me to, I will.”

--

Permanent Taglist: @rachelxwayne​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace​ @nanocoool​

[feuqueerfire]

Feu’s March 2022 BL/GL Wrap-up

A little monthly wrap-up of all the shows I’ve watched or am watching in March 2022, general thoughts, ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month: 

A First Love Story Part 1 and Part 2 were just so charming! They managed to get me to care about the characters and relationship in so little time. Also, if you liked the honorifics in Semantic Error, this one also plays with it just a bit. 

Ranking

Not Me 

Semantic Error

A First Love Story

Just Friends? 

Color Rush = TharnType S1 = Second Chance = What Happened Last Night?

The Tasty Florida = One Last Order = Tinted With You = TharnType Special: Our Final Love = Y-Destiny: Wednesday (Kaeng & Puth) = Happy to Have You Here

Behind Cut = TharnType 2 Special: The Wedding Day

Not Ranked: The random Korean GL (but non-GL) clips and scenes I watched on Youtube.

Completely Watched

The Tasty Florida

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Sep 24, 2021 - Oct 15, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 5, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: Viki (free with VPN in France)

General Thoughts: I didn't watch anything for the first few days of March because I was very much in a Bad Buddy fic reading/show rewatching/Ohmnanon mood. Glad I got my Bad Buddy fix out of the way before starting this because otherwise I would've 100% just been thinking bout how I'd rather be watching BBS. It started off very meh for me but got better as it went along because I was invested in the conflict between the friends, more than I thought I would be. None of the characters or storylines really captured me, so I doubt I'll be thinking of this again but it was a fine watch just for the sake of watching. I wish it had Korean subs on Viki though, seeing as Korean practice was my main reason for watching and I hardly got that lol

Also Mentioned In: The Tasty Florida Live Blogging

Behind Cut

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 28, 2021 - Jan 19, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 6 - 7, 2022

Rating: 4.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (free with VPN in France)

General Thoughts: I knew people liked it and then really disliked it because the ending was messy and... yeah. Utter nonsense, nothing makes sense. Made me miss Bad Buddy where the characters are fully realized and stays true to themselves and although not every single loose thread is always tied up or followed through with, there was nothing so glaring. The father son interactions were great though.

Also Mentioned In: Behind Cut Live Blogging, Anticipated 2022 Releases

One Last Order

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 30, 2019

Dates Watched: Mar 7, 2022

Rating: 5/10 but that’s good considering the study production and short runtime

Watched Via: Youtube (Free)

General Thoughts: Created by some university students, so it has a certain amateur charm to it. I liked hearing Bol4 playing in the cafe lol. Well done on the second-hand embarrassment scene, it was awkward and embarrassing without being over the top. I hope the cheerful server girl lives the best life and also has a girlfriend, she’s so endearing. Anyway, cute concept, endearing story, made use of its short runtime; won’t leave any impact on me though and I didn’t really expect it to. 

Color Rush

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 30, 2020 - Jan 21, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 8 - 9, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (free)

General Thoughts: Probably the best of what I’ve watched this month thus far but that isn’t saying much at all. I keep watching these bad-mediocre shows hoping for Korean practice but I’m barely getting much practice I feel like lol. Unique premise, wish they’d actually solved the mystery they set up from the very beginning, didn’t like Yoo Han the love interest’s acting and so the romance felt stilted as well, liked the main character Yeon Woo. Probably gonna read a summary and some opinions on Colour Rush Season 2 but not actually watch it.

Also Mentioned In: Color Rush Live Blogging

Just Friends?

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 17, 2009

Dates Watched: Mar 9, 2022

Rating: 6/10, so wish this was longer than 25 mins

Watched Via: :>

General Thoughts: This was supposed to be just thoughts but turned into a full reaction thing lol. 

I don’t really watch old shows or movies (especially not queer ones... sad endings galore), so this was new for me. Had to search up whether this had a happy ending beforehand.

Many BLs fall into either: choose to not focus on homophobia at all or have a very homophobic family as an obstacle. This one is interesting because it is definitely set in a homophobic society and they have to navigate that but it’s not a tragic story due to it; there’s still hope and happiness in the midst of all the homophobia. It kind of reminds me of Aof’s works like He’s Coming to Me or Dark Blue Kiss, where homophobia is a thing but we get to see happiness and acceptance in that. 

The lady from the bus glancing away because she’s realized Seok Yi likes men was heartbreaking but it was followed by the funny scene with them lying down with the mom with face masks on; I liked the juxtaposition and the tone shift was natural.

How are they so daring?! Minsu kissing Seok Yi’s cheek while his mom is sleeping literally 2 feet away, they have Me stressed. Scratch that, Minsu’s unbuttoning Seok Yi’s shirt ??!?!?! And tryna give each other handies??!?! Where are your self-preservation skills. Anyway, at least they didn’t get found out there.

It’s funny how incredibly tame and chaste the recent kBL webdramas are but then you have this 30 minute thing or Long Time No See which are quite explicit? Like this is startlingly explicit, I wasn’t expecting it 

Oh... my god, the mom. i let out a guttural scream.

the woman from the bus crying because her long term boyfriend who she loves is gay and being like “today, i hate being a woman” and Seok Yi being like “i hate being a man” because of the homophobia and me sitting there like wow gender

This song to his mom... everything to me. The apology for being this way and disappointing his mom but still being like well, even though I’m sorry, I’ll still continue to like men. It’s not like the “well, idgaf what you say or who you are i’ll cut you off and live my life” because I can’t identify with that nor want that but rather a quieter defiance where it’s like “I know this isn’t what you wanted from me and I’m sorry but I’ll continue to be me” that I wish I was more like.

Anyway, this turned out quite long but all in all, quite enjoyed it. Very much wish I could see it in with better quality because this was like watching it through a potato; alas, I can’t afford that right now.

Interlude: Korean GL non-GL Clips on Youtube (March 9)

Okay this is a lie, these aren’t GL clips. They’re just clips from Korean shows where, if they were brave or loved me, they would’ve given us GL. Desperation is watching girls with terrible friendships that border on being obsessive and controlling due to their intensity and choosing to interpret them as being in love lol

She Falls for a Princess Disguised as Crown Prince Lee | The King’s Affection: Makes me want a Nobleman Ruy’s Wedding type GL; I wouldn’t even care if it’s mediocre like I’m out here living on crumbs bro

Everybody loves the bad girl in school...but she's mine. | Sweet Revenge 2: I can so clearly see this kinda being like a Light On Me but GL T.T like maybe you first root for Rokhee/Hani because of how cute they are (We even got a fucking shoe putting on scene - I love my shoe lace tying scenes like no other) but progressively you realize they’re not right for each other. Then the Rokhee/Jina storyline, though we didn’t get to see much of their interactions in this cut. Anyway in my head they’re all sapphic and have feelings for each other.

Yuna x Nari | The World Of My 17: You’re telling me they aren’t dating? That they don’t have feelings for each other? That Yuna isn’t madly in love with Nari and hasn’t been for years? asldkfjaslkdfj I’ve sat through so many m/m and m/f shows with the controlling, toxic male pursuer ummmmm what about this codependent, controlling female pursuer huh ! lmao

집착 심한 친구 (Obsessive Friend): “너 친구들하고도 뽀뽀해?” “아니 친구하고 뽀뽀를 어떻게 헤?!” “그럼 나는?” “넌 다르지!” girl you’re telling me this “do you kiss your friends too?” “No! how do you kiss a friend?” “Then me?” “You’re different!” convo is just completely platonic from the friend’s side? Other people also think they’re dating! Give me unsustainable, unstable codependent girls!!! I can’t believe we got the societal homophobia without even the homosexuality!! 

These have so many views too, 400k, 1.4M, 970k, 4M in order like please T.T some spare GL? 

Semantic Error

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Feb 16, 2022 - Mar 10, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 10 - 12, 2022

Rating: 7/10 7.5/10 [Aug 20, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs]

Watched Via: Viki and :>

General Thoughts: Thoroughly enjoyed it! Very strong characterization for the two main characters, as well as Yuna (love that she’s sapphic) and Ji Hye. The progression of the story and Sang Woo and Jae Young's relationship made sense. The acting was good, as well. It was clear that the creators had talent, budget and thought all poured into this project. Episode 7 was my favourite; wish the last episode didn’t have 20 minutes of unnecessary angst and separation so that we could enjoy them together instead but oh, well, I guess. Tied with Light On Me for favourite kBL and definitely one of my favourite BLs in general. Would love a season 2 but it’d be like 2+ years later if it ever happens and who knows if I’d even be this into watching shows then since I flit from fandom to fandom.  

tags: #semantic error

Also Mentioned In: Semantic Error Live Blogging,  Anticipated 2022 Releases

A First Love Story

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Aug 27, 2021 - Sep 15, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 13, 2022

Rating: 6.5/10

Watched Via: Strongberry Youtube (Free)

General Thoughts: A bit nervous starting this because I enjoyed Semantic Error so much and obviously the budget and team behind that one is so much bigger than this short but this short and sweet thing definitely held its own. Very charming.

Pt 1: As I’ve mentioned many times in the Semantic Error Live Blogging post, I am but a lover of honorifics and formalities, so Min Gyu calling Jae Sung hyung constantly and then the consequences of calling him ya! once is very great and lovely to me. Min Gyu calls him hyung but uses the lowest form of formality (no -yo endings) and I think that’s how most friends speak (from my kpop knowledge lol) so it was interesting that in Semantic Error Sang Woo kept the -yo endings with Jae Young even when they were dating. Anyway, it was so cute T.T I understood about 75% because I was watching with korean subs and then switching to french subs if I didn’t understand but I’ll rewatch with eng subs after watching pt 2 to better understand.

Pt 2: I understood like only 40% of the stuff being said since I didn’t get to pause to understand the meaning because I wanted to finish watching before a meeting lol but regardless it’s just so Cute !! and endearing !! I love established relationships and ease and comfort and teasing and long standing friendships and just T.T The teasing during the intimate scene was also very endearing. Time to rewatch with English subs!

Overall, it’s so short (less than 15 minutes total) but I’m impressed by how they’ve managed to create the story, characters and relationship around the time constraints. 

Note: I’d been planning to watch Not Me after finishing Semantic Error but I just don’t think I can? First of all, it’s 14 episodes and if I’m not able to limit myself to 1-2 episodes a day, I’ll be screwed since I have so many school deadlines. Second, I don’t think I can follow up a really good BL with another what I’m hoping is a really good BL lol. After Bad Buddy, I watched many kinda bad - mediocre - good BLs and when I finally watched Semantic Error (a great BL), I could actually get attached to the story and characters because I wasn’t hung up on Bad Buddy or Pat/Pran. So I guess... I’ll get a few more shorter, possibly mediocre, shows off my backlist before I try Not Me? I’m just impressed by the fact that I haven’t really been spoiled for Not Me yet beyond just knowing some basic plot points, so I hope that continues even after the last episode is out.

Tinted With You

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Dec 23, 2021 - Jan 14, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 14, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: Viki Movie Version (free with VPN)

General Thoughts: Very mediocre, which I expected but it started out more endearing than I thought (+ I saw a gifset of the ending scene so in my head it was OT3 from the start, + someone ranked it 2nd favourite kBL), so I was hoping I would like it more. If a show is mostly slice of life, you have to care about the characters but I didn't care. If it's high concept, the plot and narrative have to be strong but they weren't. Also, I wish they had fewer crying/emotional scenes because I don't think any of the actors can naturally pull it off. Nothing was terribly wrong but nothing was very good, either. Doubt I'll think about this again.

tags: tinted with you

Also Appears In: Tinted With You Live Blogging,  Anticipated 2022 Releases

Not Me

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 12, 2021 - Mar 20, 2022

Dates Watched: Mar 15 - 21, 2022

Rating: 7.5/10 8/10 8.5/10 8/10 [Aug 20, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs] [Oct 29, 2022 Update: Increased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top BLs] [Jan 25, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top shows: 8.5 -> 8]

Watched Via: GMMTV Youtube

General Thoughts: I'd been wanting to watch it for so long that I just started it during the week between episode 13 and 14 even if it was a busy week rip. I wrote so much in my Live Blogging and Review because this made me feel so many things, get so invested in the relationship and characters. Even wrote a ToddBlack fic that's also a Black character study. The Full Review gets into my full feelings.

tags: not me, seanwhite, danyok, toddblack, gramblack

Also Mentioned In: Anticipated 2022 Releases, Not Me Live Blogging: Episodes 1 - 5, Episodes 6 - 10, Episodes 11 - 14 + Full Review, fic: Let’s Drink The Best Wine Now

TharnType

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Oct 7, 2019 - Jan 6, 2020

Dates Watched: Mar 25 - 27, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (Free)

General Thoughts: Did not enjoy it until I did, lol. I wish the first 4 episodes didn’t have so much noncon/dubcon from Tharn to Type but I went into it knowing that it well, so I just skipped a lot of it. I also thought everything was so awkward at first but the interactions between Tharn and Type did gradually get better and were cute at time as the show progressed and they started dating. I wish the actors were better at acting because there were so many heavy, emotional, intense scenes.

Don’t think I’ll watch Season 2 because people don’t tend to like it but will watch the specials.

tags: tharntype

Also Mentioned In: TharnType Live Blogging

TharnType Special: Our Final Love

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jan 19, 2020

Dates Watched: Mar 27, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: Viki (Free)

General Thoughts: Sure, cute, whatever. I wish it didn’t spend any time with Lhong because what. Domesticity is my favourite thing ever, so it delivered on that front, even though other parts were irritating. Made me think about how I feel about the husband/wife trope (in the live blogging).

tags: tharntype

Also Mentioned In: TharnType Live Blogging

TharnType 2 Special: The Wedding Day

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Feb 13, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 27, 2022

Rating: 4.5/10

Watched Via: :>

General Thoughts: Cute, sure, didn’t really care. Don’t really care for weddings, either in real life or fiction. Tharn and Type were fine.

tags: tharntype

Also Mentioned In: TharnType Live Blogging

Second Chance

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 29, 2021 - May 3, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 28 - 29, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Viki (Free)

General Thoughts: The writing and timeline and flow of scenes were weird. Weak in terms of coherency. I liked the acting enough and thought the honesty and earnestness of the story pulled through even though the writing had other weak points. Paper and Tong Fah started off fairly strong for me with the best friend dynamics,  the tenderness, the heartbreak of rejection but then got very meh and boring once Tong Fah landed in the hospital. Chris and Jeno started off cute enough for me but then I started really liking them. The effects of Jeno being hounded by his abusive ex has on his general life (learning Muay Thai) and his outlook on relationships (not wanting to be hurt again, not wanting anything public) were briefly touched upon and I enjoyed that. Overall, I wasn't ever super invested but it wasn't like totally boring; it had weaknesses but strengths as well.

tags: second chance the series

Also Mentioned In: Second Chance Live Blogging

Y-Destiny Episodes 9 & 10 (Kaeng & Puth)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 30, 2021 - Jul 6, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 30, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: :>

General Thoughts: I really liked it at the beginning (I liked Kaeng, I liked that they both slept around, I liked that the nsfw scenes weren’t awkward, I liked their chemistry/ease) but they dragged out the love triangle for too long. Puth and Puya had more cute moments than Kaeng and Puth did because KaengPuth mostly just had sexy moments. Them having nsfw scenes is fine because they started off being fuck buddies, after all, but the show didn't spend time developing their relationship outside of sex, so it falls a little flat. They definitely shouldn't have had Puth dating Puya for this long.

Special: Uh... okay, sure. 

Also Mentioned In: Y-Destiny Ep 9 - 10 Live Blogging

Happy to Have You Here (GL Short)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Feb 5, 2021

Dates Watched: Mar 31, 2022

Rating: 5/10

Watched Via: SHAKESHOULDER FILMMAKER Youtube 

General Thoughts: Short and sweet, didn’t realize that this was an ad at first lol

What Happened Last Night? (GL Short - Part 10 of Nadao Quarantine Stories)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jun 9, 2020

Dates Watched: Mar 31, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10

Watched Via: Nadao Bangkok Youtube

Reactions: I love the friend group, how they’re all discussing Pam’s problems and listening to each other but also teasing and clearly seem close. 

 T.T “What if one day you get kicked out for being with her but it doesn’t work out with her? Would you still be her friend?” 

umm the way they’re talking about how they weren’t quiet last night umm did they do things other than kissing

Pam and Kwang are so giggly and shy >.<

hellloooo Kwang dying in the game and Pam avenging her 

Overall, very cute and really had you invested in the characters/relationship/friend group despite the short run time.

Currently Watching

Nothing because every time I wanted to start something these past 2 days, I was like I’m wont be able to finish it by end of March, so I didn’t start it. I don’t know how I’m planning on starting Cupid’s Last Wish and KinnPorsche and having to roll them over for like 4 months if I can’t even do this, so good luck to me lol

April Plans

On-Air

Cupid’s Last Wish - I’ll try to watch it week to week but... might end up binging the released Disney+ Hotstar version

If I feel like I’m succeeding in watching Cupid’s Last Wish week-to-week, I’ll start KinnPorsche either on the 30th after my exams are done or in May

Binge

Cause You’re My Boy - I’ve been meaning to start this for a few weeks, hope the time has finally come. This is first on the list for April

I like to divide up my shows by country for immersive purposes, since it’s easier to catch context and nuance if you’re watching the same country’s content back to back. The problem with that is I want the next country after I finish Cause You’re My Boy and start Cupid’s Last Wish is Japan BUT I’m really looking forward to Blueming now... so maybe Korean? Or might just take a little detour, watching only Blueming and veer into Japan? Anyway here’s my list for Japan

Kei x Yuko - I know it’s a bromance but I might enjoy it regardless because people said it’s domestic. I’ll just think of it as them dating.

A Man Who Defies the World of BL Season 1 and Season 2 - seems hilarious, short, free on Viki.

We Are Both The Grooms - I hope I’m able to find English subs for this because it seems like a blend of humour and more realism, looking forward to it.

And for Korea

Blueming

2-3 Viki Series (Wish You, Kissable Lips, First Love Again, Cherry Blossoms After Winter)

The Handmaiden

Continue watching the Korean GL shorts or like compilations from different shows that are non-GL but seem GL

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (9)

I��m back with anotha one! Sorry it’s taken so ridiculously long! I’ve been soooo busy that sitting down and writing or even formatting has been such a challenge. Please enjoy this chapter!

*also i watched Cherry and Tom was so good in it I’m- that film messed me up a lil bit but like it was so good. Also I’ve loved Ciara since btr and now I’m just insanely jealous and love her even more ugh 

Story Masterlist

Word Count: 2333

Warnings: Some language? I can’t think of anything else

% approximately the 3rd week of October %

Friday evening, the volleyball team arrived at the town regionals were being held at, about an hour away. You were staying in a hotel again, and as before, Julia was your buddy.

After having spent the evening laughing and having fun, your whole hotel room group was about to head up the stairs.

“Hey, y/n. Do you mind staying back for a minute?” Julia asked.

“Oh, sure. We’ll meet you guys upstairs,” you called to the other two, who waved back nonchalantly and continued walking. Julia and you went back to some empty seats near the lobby.

“What’s up?” you asked, smiling.

“Well… Sam told me he caught you and Tom yesterday and I just wanted to ask you about it…”

Your smile faltered.

“What’s there to talk about? I told him that Tom sprayed me with water so I got back at him by soaking the back of his shirt. There’s nothing more to say.”

“Well, yeah, he told me that but he also mentioned that you stayed for dinner? And met Nikki’s parents last weekend? Not trying to imply anything, but I didn’t meet their grandparents until Sam and I had been dating for like 6 months.”

You were getting annoyed, considering this was the second person in two days to ask you about Tom.

“I didn’t just meet them over nothing! Nikki took my senior pictures at the same time as Tom’s and wanted to do them there. I was just tagging along for the ride.”

“You know he’s also coming to state next weekend, right? If we pass through tomorrow?”

He is?

“Uh, no I didn’t. Doesn’t he have football stuff to worry about? It’s also Halloween next weekend, like he’d miss out on the big party.”

“They have a bye next week. Sam is going to come and I guess Tom is taking him, but Nikki might come too? I’m not sure. I guess you’d better ask him. Anyways, I just wanted to clear things up since there were all those rumors today,” she said, starting to get up.

“Wait, wai- Rumors? I never heard anything. Like about me?”

“You haven’t heard? I guess one of the freshman girls who has a massive crush on Tom was stalking Nikki’s website last night and saw some pictures of the two of you. A bunch of people think you’re dating now.”

You felt yourself pale.

“Oh no, and she changed one picture after Tom asked her to. Do you know what the picture was?”

“Something about him carrying you..? I never saw it, why?”

“Great. Now everyone is going to think she changed it because a secret got out or something. Ughhhh I just wish this stupid marriage project had never happened and I would never be in this mess.”

Julia looked at you contemplatively for a moment.

“Think of it this way, you and Tom are friends now, right?” you apprehensively nodded. “If it weren’t for that project, you two would still be fighting all the time and you wouldn’t have had the incredible Nikki Holland taking your pictures. Everyone can just get over themselves, you know?”

You snorted, then grinned.

“Yeah I guess so. You know, you’re annoyingly wise beyond your years,” you stated. “Now let’s get back upstairs. We have a long day ahead of us.”

%

Placing first at regionals meant two things: you were going to state, and everyone was congratulating you again when Monday came.

They also kinda looked at you funny when Tom high fived you in the hallway as he passed by, but you had decided to follow Julia’s advice and stop caring about the rumors people were spreading. 

Once the morning announcements ended, your calculus teacher stood up, a small paper stack in hand.

“Okay, everyone, since I’m your first period teacher and homecoming is next week, today you get to cast your nomination votes. Y’all know the drill: three guys, three girls for king and queen. Try to make it fast, we have a lot to do today.”

She walked around handing out half-sheets of paper with six lines on them. You and Tom immediately looked at each other.

“We nominating each other?” Tom asked before you could.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” you joked, filling out the sheet with both of your names and four others.

In home ec, you sat next to Tom cutting fabric for yet another project you had to do together, thinking about something Julia had mentioned.

“Hey, I gotta ask you something. Is it true you’re going to the capital this weekend for our state tournament?” you asked.

“Oh, yeah. This is our bye week and I promised Sam I’d go with him and mom. Plus, we can work on the project when you’re free.”

“You do realize that’s like a four hour drive, right? I mean it’s Halloween this weekend. Wouldn’t you rather make an appearance at Johnny’s big blowout?”

“Eh, it won’t be that great. I mean his place isn’t even that big and it’s in town. There’s literally no way it won’t get busted within the first half hour. The homecoming party at Tyler’s however… that’s gonna be insane.”

“Okay Johnny’s trash party aside, you really would rather spend your one free weekend of the season four hours away watching girls play volleyball then at home doing… whatever it is you do. And please don’t tell me you watch the ‘hub in your spare time.”

“Come on, y/n I’m not an animal. Even without the tight uniforms volleyball is really cool.” 

You backhanded his arm at the comment.

“Plus, I don’t need any videos to get myself off,” he added, smirking.

“You disgust me.”

“You know you love me.”

“Hmm. Debatable,” you shot back dryly, earning a chuckle and shoulder bump from him as you finally cracked.

%

At lunch, your friends were discussing the Halloween party when you sat down.

“Okay we really need to figure out what to wear this weekend, and we’re not going as playboy bunnies like Daisy and all her group,” said one girl.

“Well I say we dress as frat boys. It’s funny, not super sexual, and we all know half the guys are going to rush next year,” suggested Caroline.

“I like it, but what if we went a step further and dressed as dads. You know, hawaiian shirts, khaki shorts, socks and sandals. That would be hilarious. What do you think, y/n?” said Alexis.

“Sorry ladies, I won’t be there. We have state this weekend at the capital so as always, we’re driving down Friday after school. I will be at Tyler’s homecoming thing next weekend. Also, I do really like the dad thing, but I vote y’all do Guy Fieri.”

“Wait why is that literally genius,” Alexis said as the others agreed. “Of course it would suck to take your idea without you even getting to do it.”

“You guys really think I care? Just credit me in your insta captions. I’ll make the team put ribbons with flames on them in their ponytails Saturday.”

“Okay now we have to do it,” a different friend said.

“Hey, at least you won’t have to worry about Tom. I’m sure he’ll be at the party,” Caroline said. You wrinkled your nose.

“Yeah about that… His brother’s girlfriend is on the team so he’s going, too. I’m the one that’ll be seeing him instead of you guys but whatever. We’ll need to work on our project anyways.”

“Don’t you think that’ll fuel the fires people are already spreading about you? A good portion of the school thinks you’re secretly together now,” added the first friend from before. 

“People are going to believe whatever the hell they want. I honestly don’t care anymore. Oh! By the way, did I tell you guys that some freshman was the one spreading shit about me Friday? The nerve those kids have,” you said.

“Wait, what? It was a freshman that was trying to tell everyone y’all are together? Ugh why would anyone believe them?” Alexis asked, incredulous.

“I know, right? Apparently she’s like obsessed with Tom or something. She must have a backwards way of thinking if she believes spreading fake rumors will make him want her. Jokes on her when she has to see us together on homecoming court. He’s just as likely to be voted as I am, maybe even more.”

The group all laughed and continued talking about random things, and you mentally wiped the sweat from your brow now that the conversation was shifted from you and Tom.

%

You were nervously bouncing your leg before calculus Friday morning. You’d gotten to school early to make certain you would be there for the announcements, which is when they would be releasing the list of nominees.

Tom came in a couple minutes before the bell, hair still wet from his post workout shower. Usually he blow dried it, and he obviously noticed you looking at his curls, your knee bouncing anxiously.

“Got out of the weight room late so I rushed over here. What are you wired up about, princess?”

“Do I really have to tell you? Homecoming noms.”

“You’re actually nervous about that? Everyone knows you’re already at the top of the list.”

“Uh, no, that’s you. After everything that’s happened the past few weeks, there’s no telling how people feel about me.”

“Oh you’ll be fine. I know it,” Tom finished. You wanted to disagree with him further, but then the bell rang and announcements began. After the general daily stuff, they got to the part everyone was waiting for. 

You were on the edge of your seat. The disembodied voice began with the underclassmen’s court nominations, eventually working up to the senior king contestants.

“Alright, first up in the running for kings we have… Tuwaine Barrett!”

Tuwaine was a cool dude. He played basketball and was in theatre. You were happy to see him nominated.

“Next up we’ve got Harrison Osterfield!”

Ugh. I’d rather abdicate the throne than end up against him.

“And finally for the boys, Tom Holland!”

A small cheer went up in your classroom as people congratulated Tom and patted him on the back. You gave him a high five.

“And now for the ladies. First on the list is Zendaya Coleman!”

Ah Zendaya. You were never that close, but she was always nice when you’d had classes with her. She was way taller than you, a star player on the basketball and softball teams. Not to mention she was insanely gorgeous. This was already some stiff competition.

“Second, we have Daisy Ridley!”

And of course another likely contender. Daisy, who was planning on going to that evening’s Halloween party as a playboy bunny, was a cheerleader. She didn’t fit every aspect of the cheer stereotype, like the fact that she was actually really smart, but she definitely wasn’t the nicest person either.

“And finally, your last nominee for homecoming queen is… y/n y/l/n!”

It took a second to fully process that it was you they were talking about until there were people cheering you on like they’d done for Tom. He reciprocated the high five.

“What’d I tell you princess? Or shall I say queen.”

%

Tom was leaving football practice after the bell when a few of his buddies appeared next to him to walk across the parking lot.

They were talking when Tom saw you all loading the bus, and you sent each other a wave.

“Damn, y/n’s not gonna be at the party tonight? That’s rough, she always has the dopest costumes. ‘Least you will. What are you going as?” one guy, Jake, said.

“Did I not tell you? I’m going out of town. Won’t be there. I totally would’ve been Spider-Man though,” Tom explained.

“Wait you won’t be there tonight either?” another, Chris, asked. “You’re gonna miss out on some major exposure for homecoming votes.”

“Oh yeah, right. I’m pretty sure things are in the bag for me. I’ll just be gone tonight and tomorrow. Promised Sam I’d go to the volleyball thing with him.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You. Are going to the capital. Which is four hours away. At the same time as y/n. Am I hearing this right?” Jake asked as they finally reached their cars.

“Oh shut up, man. It’s not like that. Yeah we’ll be at the same place this weekend but whatever. We’re cool with each other now.”

“Cool? Is that code for ‘I want to make out every time I look at her?’” interjected Chris. He and Jake gave each other a look and laughed.

“Ugh, no. I’d kiss a salmon before I kissed y/n. I just meant we’ve come to an understanding and are somewhat friends now.”

They both looked at him funny.

“So you mean to tell me that there’s nothing going on between you two? Yeah right. We’ve all seen the way you look at her at games,” Jake said suggestively.

“What is up with you and everyone else at this school thinking there’s more to the story?! We are fake married for a school project and are nothing more than friends. You’re crazy to think otherwise.”

“Who are you planning on asking to the dance?” Chris asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What? What do you mean? I haven’t even thought about it.”

“I’m asking who you’ll take to homecoming. It’s y/n, isn’t it?”

“No. No, it’s not, because I haven’t asked anyone.”

“Would you go with her?” Chris continued, pressing in.

“I mean I guess so. If we’re voted king and queen then it’ll basically be an obligation.”

“And if you’re not?”

“Dude why are you asking all these questions! If she isn’t queen then I’ll go with whoever is. If I’m not king, I’ll just go solo and see what happens. Whatever, though, I need to get home. I’ll see you guys Monday,” Tom finished.

He walked off to his car, where his brothers were impatiently waiting.

%

A/N: Thanks for reading! Again, sorry for my inactivity but I’m hoping that writing will be a little easier as one of my classes was a half semester and I’ll now have a little more buffer room to write!

My asks and messages are always open!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Story tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @justafangirlduh,

[oabf45]

Ok so I finally watched the new 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star episodes and here is what I think overall for the seasons so far, the characters, and part 2 of the seasons. Badically my opinions no one asked for 😁

9-1-1

- Let's rip the band aid off. I'm sorry but we're never getting Buddie. I'm a huge Buddie shipper myself, but I honestly have reached the point where I just don't see it happening. For one their friendship alone just isn't what it's been the past two seasons. Idk if its just me feeling this, but their scenes together, though sweet, just haven't been what they've been in the past. I mean this last episode is the most connection I feel from their characters than i have this whole season. I'm still not over Eddie's lack of reaction to Buck being trapped when Buck was ready to dig through the earth to find Eddie. Though I think there is still a chance Buck could be BI I just no longer have hope that Buddie is going to be a thing. I mean, they've at least hinted that Buck could ride that way, but Eddie has given zero signs of being into men at all. But honestly if they at least explore a BI Buck then I'll be happy, even if he's not with Eddie. It also doesn't help that there's a HUGE possibility that Oliver and Ryan don't get along anymore. They stopped following each other on social media and they post pictures with all the rest of the cast except each other. Its just looking extremely unlikely.

- I don't think Ana deserves as much hate as she's getting. I wasn't so fond of the Eddie/Ana pairing either, mostly because I was so into Buddie. But Ana does seem genuinely a great person and its a plus that Christopher loves her. I just wish that if they were going to persue this they would have built it up more and showed us more of her character. I mean we know close to nothing about her which is what makes it hard to like her or like her with Eddie.

- I'm glad that even if Buck doesn't end up with Eddie he still is obviously going to be someone very close to Christopher. Their relationship is so absolutely darling and even if its not Buddie, Buck is very obviously like a second dad.

- At first I was not at all happy with them bringing back Taylor. I found her character so freaking annoying in the past. But honestly her character seems to have mellowed out and I actually liked her. But I am PRAYING that if she sticks around its just as a friend and not a girlfriend. Buck and Taylor are just a huge NOPE in my book.

- I need more of Athena, Bobby, and Michael ASAP! I miss seeing them more on my screen!

- I'm super excited for baby Chimney/Maddie. And I'm so happy Chimney felt safe enough in his relationship to express his feelings about an at home birth. Their relationship is so sweet and healthy and it makes my heart so warm

- I swear on everything I love if they take that little baby away from Hen and Karen I will RIOT! I also hope to see more of Hen's mom and can't wait to see her pass her exam.

- Albert was wrong for dating Buck's bad date, but he's a good guy and overall a good friend. Buck needs more friends outside of Eddie. I hope they give him more of a storyline in part 2.

- Overall loved the first half of 9-1-1 season 4. I hope they do another crossover in part 2 so that Buck can meet Carlos.

9-1-1 Lone Star

- Yes I have hated the baby trope this first half, yes Gwyn has been annoying af and I'm ready for her to go, and YES Owen has been annoying this season too. But I still love Owen and no I don't believe he's a bad person or a bad father. I hope they do right by his character in the second part and bring the old Owen back now that his life is going to go back to what it was. But I also know this is going to leave room for another romantic interest which you just know they're going to bring in. Maybe they'll bring Michelle back 🤷🏽‍♀️

- The amount of screen time Carlos got is *chefs kiss*. I'm so glad we got to see more into his family dynamic. And how great he is as a cop?! Like make that man a detective already! Also Rafael's acting is superb. He has the most expressive eyes I've ever seen! His face with Owen compliments him on his caring heart and how that makes him a great cop? He BEAMED and it was like no one had ever told him that before. I wanted to hug him so badly.

- I'm so happy they're showing a healthy gay relationship. Sure they've had their ups and downs, but they show TK and Carlos working it out perfectly with good communication which is what we need to see represented more with LGBTQ+ couples on TV. I have no doubt they'll last because they're literally the reason most people tune in and the showrunners know that. And that reuniting hug? Ronen and Raf's real life friendship makes their on screen relationship feel so real and I hope that never changes.

- I need more Mateo. The only thing we know is that he's dyslexic and has a cousin in LA. He's such a great character I wish they'd give him more screen time.

- I know that most y'all see them as just a brother/sister pair, but I love the idea of Mateo/Marjan as a couple. I feel like she could help him grow up a little while he could help her have more fun. But either way I love their relationship and want to see more.

-PLEASE give Paul a GREAT love interest. Someone who loves and accepts him for everything he is. He deserves so much love.

- Tommy Vega is THAT BITCH! She deadass basically said "shoot me. You won't". LOVE seeing a strong black woman on the screen. And I hope they give more screen time to Nancy. I feel like she could be a really interesting character.

- Am I the only one that kind of wants to see them bring back Billy Tyson? I know thats so random, but I think he needs redemption. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

- Last but not least......thank GOD I read spoilers before watching the episode because if I hadn't prepared myself and they ended the show with that bridge scene......all I gotta say is JUDD AND GRACE BETTER BE FUCKING OK! OR I'M FIGHTING EVERY DAMN BODY! But honestly I think they will be. These two make the show, for one. Judd is deadass the glue that holds that firehouse together and is overall a great character. No way they're killing him off. And Grace is a fucking saint and also a great character. And she's one of the only two black women on the show. Showrunners, y'all really wanna try that? They're such a great, healthy relationship who are literally so unstoppable together. I think they'll have some trauma but survive. And possibly a Ryder baby? Yes please, and please let it be a baby boy. Judd needs a little mixed cowboy 🤠

- Overall the season has been good, but too Owen/Gwyn central. Hoping the next part has more spotlight on the others. Maybe some "Character Begins" episodes? I think a "Judd Begins" Episode would be perfect to start off with to tie into the whole "omg is he alive" aspect we're bound to get.

[apocalypseornaw]

Always be Yours- 7

Word Count: 8,000

Story Summary: Inspired by the 2 part I did of the same title. Follows Dean and Reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: An old friend of Dean's calls needing help

Warnings: the usual. Cursing, fights and NSFW warning. Some steamy stuff happens

The little talk with Dean or more so the way he worded what he said helped you to push the feelings you thought you’d been developing for him to the side. You decided to blame it on the fact that for weeks you’d only been in close quarters with him, Sam and Kevin. Maybe you just needed to hit a bar and get some tension out of your system. You knew it wouldn’t change how you felt but hoped it may take some of the sting out.

You were curled up on a chair in the corner of the library leafing through one of the lore books on enochian spells hoping maybe just maybe the passage Crowley had translated was wrong. Cas had so much hope in him still that there was a way to help the angels that you refused to give up simply because of him.

You glanced up when Sam called out Dean’s name but knew you were tucked in a far enough corner the only way you’d be spotted was if you let your presence be known. It’d only taken you a week in the bunker to figure out what spots you could actually have a few moments to yourself in and Dorothy letting you all know about the garage only added to that, the night before you hadn’t been able to sleep so you ended up detailing half the classic cars just for something to keep your hands busy.

When he called Kevin then your name you let out a low whistle and saw him jump “Y/N?” you laughed before laying the book down in your chair and stepping around a corner “Looking for me Sammy?” he looked over your shoulder then back at you “Where were you at?” you grinned “Oh that’s for me to know and for you to never find out” he let out a short laugh “Ok then. You seen Dean?” you nodded towards one of the tables “He came in a little while ago and plugged his phone in. He didn’t see me either” the moment you were through speaking the phone started ringing. Sam looked at you so you shrugged “Your brother’s phone, you answer it”

You followed Sam over to the table and he picked up the phone “Hello?” After a moment he said “I’m sorry there’s no dee-dawg here” you looked up when Dean came around the corner saying “I got it, I got it” and grabbed the phone out of Sam’s hand “Sonny, hey so what’s up?” you looked towards Sam for an explanation of who Sonny was but he looked as clueless as you were.

Sam sat on the edge of the table so you leaned across his shoulders while Dean finished talking to whoever Sonny was “All right. Yeah just sit tight, I’ll be there as soon as I can” Once he hung up Sam asked “So what was that all about Dee-Dawg?” Dean took a breath and his eyes flicked towards you before he turned his attention to Sam “Remember when we were kids that spring in upstate New York?” Sam looked a little lost so Dean continued “Dad was on a rugaru hunt, we uh crashed at the bungalow colony with the ping-pong table” Sam nodded “Yeah, uh you disappeared. Dad came back and you were gone” that set off a red flag in your head as to where this story was going because Dean disappearing on Sam? No something unsavory had to have happened. Dean nodded then Sam added “He shipped me off to Bobby’s for a couple months that’s when I first met Y/N because her aunt had dropped her off at Bobby’s for a week. Then dad went off and found you, said you were lost on a hunt or something” hunt? You didn’t think Dean had started solo hunts until he was eighteen or older. 

Your suspicions were confirmed when Dean said “That’s what we told you. Right” you pushed off Sam’s shoulder and tracked Dean’s movements with your eyes “What you told Sam?” Dean shrugged and looked between you both before saying “Truth is, I lost the food money that dad left us in a card game. I knew you’d get hungry so I tried the five finger discount at the local market and got busted. I wasn’t on a hunt they sent me to a boy’s home” “A boy’s home? Like a reform school?” Sam asked. Dean nodded “More or less. It was a farm and the guy who ran it, Sonny..he uh looked after me” 

“Does Sonny know what you do?” you questioned and Dean nodded again “Yeah. he’s good people. I gave him the number to the bat phone and it sounds like he’s got something in our wheelhouse. So” Dean turned to walk out then stopped and looked back at Sam “You gonna be cool to do this or are you too tired?” Sam was mid yawn but said “Yeah, I’m just I’ll be fine” Dean looked over Sam at you so you nodded that you thought Sam was ok then inwardly groaned when Dean asked “So everybody is ok with heading out to the catskills?” 

Sam looked back at you “I think he’s talking to you” you smiled “Yeah, I’m good Dean” and hoped he got the point when you shot him a look when Sam turned back around. “All right, grab your stuff then we’ll all head out” before Dean could walk out Sam asked him “Why not just tell me you were sent to a boy’s home” Dean shrugged “It was dad’s idea then the story became the story. I was sixteen” then walked out to grab his gear. Sam looked back at you for help so you said “I don’t know either Sam. We were twelve at the time. Aunt Lena always said John could’ve done better by you two even with him choosing to be a hunter and I more than agree” Sam nodded then stood up “Well let’s grab our stuff so we can head out”

------

You sat in the backseat of the impala quiet for most of the drive only arguing with Dean over the radio a couple times. When he pulled onto the gravel road that had a farmhouse at the end and a sign that read “Sonny’s home for boys” you sat up straighter and grabbed your jacket to pull on. You were about to see a part of Dean’s past even Sam hadn’t been privy to before that moment.

You walked around the back of baby looking around at the property while Sam told Dean “You were here for two months and dad couldn’t find you?” You turned to look at them when Dean said “Oh, no. He found me. He found me quick. But he left me here cause I lost our money” “You were sixteen! You made a mistake” you quickly argued refusing to let Dean’s self deprecating nature win out yet again. 

“Yeah, I made the mistake. Look I know how you two think. None of this was dad’s fault” Sam rolled his eyes and looked at you so you took the opening to say “Just as quickly as he dumped Sam off at Bobby’s for the couple months he could’ve left you both there to go after the rugaru” then walked towards the house leaving both of them to have to catch up with you.

------

You knocked before Dean even made it to be standing next to you. He looked your way but you simply met his gaze refusing to give on what you’d said. A woman answered and crossed her arms looking between the three of you “What can I do for you?” Dean smiled “I’m Dean, this is my brother Sam and this is our friend Y/N. We’re old buddies of Sonny’s” “You boys prison buddies?” she asked and you stifled a laugh considering Dean had once been on the FBI’s most wanted list. Dean shook his head “No, uh you mind telling him we’re here?” She nodded “I’ll go get him”

She opened the door then looked down at the fact that all three of you were wearing boots. “I just mopped this floor so off with the roach stompers” you bent to pull your boots off while she walked away to find Sonny. “So Sonny’s an ex con huh?” Sam asked and Dean scoffed “What? Like we’re such angels?” you raised an eyebrow at Sam “Lena spent two years when she was in her early twenties Sammy. Someone’s past doesn’t define them”

Dean tilted his head at you and added “Trust me, like Lena he’s more than made up for it” You followed Dean into the house with Sam right behind you.

------

You were standing between the two of them when who you were guessing was Sonny walked around the corner with a smile “Dee-Dawg” Dean smiled before the two of them hugged and Dean said “Sonny, good to see you man” “You too brother” Sonny replied. When they pulled apart Sonny looked at Sam first “You must be Sam” 

Sam offered his hand and the two of them shook “Good to meet you” “Back at you brother” then Sonny looked at you “And this must be Y/N” you smiled and shook Sonny’s hand “Nice to meet you” he smiled “You too ma’am”

“Farm looks nice” Dean said and Sonny scoffed “Please man, it’s barely standing. Only got a handful of kids working around here now” “Why’s that?” Dean asked and Sonny shook his head “Cause these days the system would rather incarcerate a boy then redeem him” Sam looked off and you followed his sight to see the lady that had let all of you in but you weren’t sure if something was wrong until he said “Hey Sonny, um you mind if we talk alone?” 

Sonny got the message so he looked back at the lady “Hey Ruth, would you please go check on the boys? Make sure their morning chores are getting done?” When she walked away Dean asked “So, what’s happening?” Sonny took a breath then said “You remember Jack don’t you?” Dean nodded “Yeah the tough old leatherneck” “Well somehow that ancient,rusty broken-down tractor just roared to life and ran him over the other night” “Maybe it slipped out of park?” Sam offered but Sonny shook his head “Couldn’t have. You know I never believed any of this mumbo-jumbo stuff you all are into, but something ain’t right”

“What do you mean?” you questioned and Sonny explained “Well just things started happening. You know, flickering lights on and off, strange scratching coming from inside the walls. Window and doors slamming” you nodded “Yeah sounds like an us thing” “Think you can round up the boys while we take a look around?” Dean asked and Sonny nodded “Shouldn’t be a problem, most are home on breaks. Well, except for the ones with no home worth going to” you didn’t miss the way he looked at Dean when he said that last part. 

Sonny left to round up the boys so Dean turned back to you and Sam “Sam, why don’t you take the house? Me and Y/N will take the barn” “Yeah” Sam replied meeting your eyes before you turned to follow Dean out the door. You both stopped long enough to slip your boots back on then you followed him down the steps.

------

“So what was it like?” you asked walking into the barn behind him. He shrugged without turning around “Ok, I guess” you felt like there was a lot he wasn’t saying but you knew Dean well enough to know forcing him to talk simply wasn’t an option. 

You stopped when you saw the tractor in question and grimaced at the dark stains that you knew were blood. You saw Dean pull the emf detector out of his jacket pocket and watched it once he fired it up to see if it gave any reaction. The moment he turned it on it started going insane. He looked towards you then said “All right Casper, where are you at?”  

You walked next to him further in the barn then heard a little kid laughing, both of you following the sound. Dean knew the layout of the barn better than you so for once you had no complaints about having to let him take the lead. He slid open another door and waited for you to follow him through. “Hello?” you called out once both of you were into the other part of the barn. There was no response so Dean tried “Anybody here?”

You pointed behind Dean and he spun around to see the kid that had seemingly popped up out of nowhere behind him “Hey kid, what are you doing in here by yourself?” Dean asked him and his response? “Fighting monsters” ok point for the kid considering that’s what you and Dean were currently doing. “What kind of monsters sweetie?” you asked and he smiled and showed you the action figure in his hand “All sorts with Bruce the monster smasher” 

The little action figure was complete with cape and all. You weren't going to say anything but leave it to Dean to point out “Is that a cape? Little impractical for smashing monsters huh?” “Yeah flannel doesn’t sell as well” you muttered and Dean gave you a small shrug “Just saying”

The little boy hit the button on Bruce and it said “I clobber evil” Dean chuckled lightly “I bet you do” then held his hand out “I’m Dean and this beautiful lady with me is Y/N” you rolled your eyes at Dean but smiled when the little boy said “I’m Timmy” “Nice to meet you Timmy” you told him but when he shook Dean’s hand he barely gripped his fingers so Dean tilted his head then squatted down “Let’s try that again. If you’re gonna be a man you gotta learn to shake like one” He offered his hand to Timmy again “Give me your best kung fu grip” Timmy did what he said and Dean nodded “Good. Now look me straight in the eye. Let me know that you mean business and shake as hard as you can” you tried to look anywhere in the barn but at Dean being downright fatherly but good lord you were only human. 

Timmy’s smile got even bigger so Dean asked “Timmy, did you know Jack who worked here?” When he said that Timmy’s smile dropped “Uh huh” so you squatted down next to Dean “What can you tell us about him?” “He yelled a lot. He was yelling when he had his accident”

“How do you know that?” Dean questioned and Timmy replied “Because me and the other boys were playing here when it happened” “Did you see anything?” you asked but Timmy shook his head so you added “Is there anything about that night that you can remember? Anything at all” 

You could see the kid thinking hard about his answer before he finally spoke “It suddenly got really cold..Can I go? I’ve got to finish my chores before Ms Ruth gets mad?” Dean chuckled softly “Man that Ruth she runs a tight ship right? Yeah you better roll” Timmy ran out so you stood up and looked around the barn “Have there been any deaths here before Jack?” Dean shook his head “None that Sonny knows about anyways” you let out a breath “Well looks like we’ve got to figure out just who is haunting this place before we can figure out the why”

Dean nodded so you bumped him lightly with your shoulder and nodded towards where Timmy had left “You were good with him Dean” He scoffed “Please, he was probably just focusing on you the entire time he was talking to me” “No that was all you Winchester” you replied with a smile as the two of you headed back towards the house.

------

Ms Ruth had told Sam about the previous owners of the farm Howard and Doreen Wasserlauf and the fact that when Jack worked as a farm hand for the couple Howard got it into his head that Jack and Doreen were having an affair. He tried to kill them both but Jack got away, Doreen wasn’t so lucky. Howard had died in prison the year before and had always sworn he’d get his revenge on Jack so that led all three of you to Howard’s final resting place.

You sat on the edge of the grave watching as the boys shoveled dirt out. All three of you couldn’t fit and there was no part of you that wanted to get stuck between two guys their sizes. “Why don’t one of you take a break and let me shovel for a bit?” you offered so Sam held his shovel out “Have at it” you hopped down in the hole next to Dean and Sam pulled himself up to stand next to the headstone.

You felt your back bump into Dean’s but there was more room with the two of you digging than with him and Sam. Sam was quiet for a few moments the only noise the sound of the two of you shoveling dirt until he finally spoke to Dean “So, dad didn’t want you to tell me. How come? Was this place really that bad” Dean shrugged cutting his eyes towards you before he said “I don't know. I don't really remember. Look, nobody bad touched me. Nobody burned me with their smokes or beat me with a metal hanger. I call that a win” you stopped shoveling long enough to say “Fuck your standards are low arent they?”  Your shovel hit the casket so you reached for Sam’s hand and he helped you up out the hole then hopped back in next to Dean.

You handed Dean the salt and Sam the lighter fluid out of your bag. After they’d salted and soaked the corpse they both climbed out to stand next to you so you lit the match and flicked it in “Bye Howard” 

------

Dean decided that you and Sam had to try the banana pancakes at Cus’s place. While you and Sam were looking at the menu you glanced up and saw that Dean was looking at the woman working the counter and felt your heart fall. Fuck you had to find someway to get over whatever feelings you’d developed for him with a friendship still intact for Sam’s sake if nothing else.

You dropped your eyes down and pulled your phone out with the excuse of checking your emails. Maybe Garth or the Banes twins needed some assistance with a hunt. That would give you an excuse to hit the road without the boys freaking because you’re hunting alone amidst everything with the angels and Abaddon.

The woman in question walked over and you glanced up long enough to see her name was Robin. “Welcome to Cus’s what can I get you three today?” Dean had that patent smile in place so you rolled your eyes at him but refused to be rude to her. “Bet you never thought you’d see me here huh?” Dean asked her but you’d turned your attention to Sam where the two of you were debating splitting a breakfast plate since neither of you were exactly starving.

She brushed him off “Look, I’m a little bit slammed right now. Do you want to hear the specials?” you cut your eyes at Sam who was just as intrigued by whatever you and him were missing between Dean and Robin as you were. “Robin.. Dean Winchester? I used to live at Sonny’s?” “Oh, look sorry there’s just so many boys that pass through there it’s hard to remember every name and face” she looked towards you and Sam so you nodded “Oh I get it believe me”

You almost felt bad when Dean looked embarrassed “No, it’s fine. I remember you coming with your mom up there when she’d give guitar lessons. It was a long time ago” Robin smiled and you had to admit she was really pretty “Yeah mom loved helping out the boys. I guess that;s why I kept giving lessons after she passed” a woman from the back called Robin so she excused herself by saying “I’ll be right back”

“Dude!” Sam started but Dean cut him off “Let’s go” before you or Sam could react Dean was grabbing his jacket and walking out so you rushed to follow Sam behind him.

------

Once all of you were outside Sam asked “Dude, what was that?” you were just as curious but Dean said “Nothing” and his phone ringing saved a lot more awkwardness even though Sam being the perpetual little brother was asking you who you thought the waitress was. Dean shook his head and answered his phone “Sonny?” you and Sam both dropped any teasing when he said “What?”

------

Ms Ruth had drowned in the bathtub and according to Sonny he tried to get in to save her but the door wouldn’t open. When Sam questioned if it could’ve been locked Sonny shook his head and explained that there were no locks on the farm. “That means our little field trip to the cemetery was a bust” you uttered feeling like you always did when someone was lost on a hunt. You hated losing people.

Dean nodded “Sonny, is there anything else weird you can remember?” “What, cause we’re not chest deep in weird already?” you smoothed a hand through your hair “I know but Dean means anything like at all that you’d consider weird or out of the ordinary?” Sonny glanced away but you could see when a thought occurred to him “There was one thing. Ruth always had her rosary beads with her but now I can’t find them anywhere” “All right um let’s start with the vics ok?” Sam offered so you nodded “Both lived in the house, worked closely with the boys”

Dean agreed and said “Well let’s have a chat with the rugrats Y/N. See what’s up” You and him left Sonny and Sam in the yard and headed up the hill towards the house. 

------

You could hear the boys taunting Timmy before you ever saw them. Calling him a weirdo and asking if he was going to cry. You saw when it hit Dean that big brother instinct kicking in to the fullest. When you walked around the corner two bigger boys had Timmy shoved against the house so Dean hollered “Hey, hey. Hey!”

He pushed one back and snatched the other away from Timmy “What are you doing? Come here” You stood back choosing to let Dean handle the situation. He looked back towards Timmy and asked what was going on. Timmy didn’t respond so Dean turned to the older boys “All right you two where were you this morning when Ruth had her accident?” They looked at him then shook their head “Unless you’re a cop, We don’t need to tell you anything” You happened to have your badge in your jacket pocket so you flipped it out and whistled to get their attention “He’s my partner boys so speak”

Dean smiled smugly as the bigger of the two said “We weren’t even here this morning. Sonny sent us into town to get chicken feed. We swear” They seemed genuine enough but you still asked “What about Ruth? What can you tell us about her?” the boy who hadn’t spoken yet said “We used to call her the warden. She was a real bible thumping hard ass” way to speak about the dead before she was even cold but you let it go. “Obviously, what else. Anything different or weird?” “You mean besides Timmy?” The bigger boy joked and you narrowed your eyes at him before Dean said “Either of you touch him ever again. I’m gonna go all guantanamo on you and I’m the good cop here. Understand me?” they looked back at you so you smiled sweetly to push Dean’s point. “Now get the hell out of here you little rats”

They ran off so you and Dean checked on Timmy. He said he was ok so you headed inside to find Sam.

------

You were helping Sam go through records when a scream ripped out so Dean and Sonny ran outside to check on the boys. Robin hadn't long showed up to start her weekly guitar lessons. “You know Dean was Sullivan county’s one hundred and thirty five pound wrestling champion when he was here?” you looked up from the file in your hand “Really? You know I’m thinking he remembers more here than he’s letting on and I’m betting his time here was good”

Time passed and Dean walked back in the door “Kids good, gonna need about eight thousand stitches” “That kid was bullying Timmy before the accident right?” Sam asked and you knew where he was headed because he’d already bounced the idea off of you. You held out the file Sam had shown you “Timmy was found in an abandoned building a year ago by himself. No one was sure how long he’d been there” “What about his parents?” he asked handing the file to Sam “Well, they posted a picture on the internet but no one ever showed up”

The working idea was ghost possession which meant shoving salt down the kids throat for a forced ejection. Dean sent you back to the barn with Sam while he looked through the house.

------

Inside the barn you found a little hideout in the loft of it. In that hideout you found drawings which basically told you Timmy’s entire story, showing a wreck and how he’d come to be alone.

“We need to tell Dean” you said and Sam nodded in agreement.

------

The moment you and Sam were walking into the backdoor Dean and Robin were running towards you “Go!” you reached for the door but it was locked. “Damn it” Dean hollered so you ran to the cabinet and grabbed the salt then threw it at Sam “Circle!” so he set about making a circle around Robin.

“Dean, what just happened in there?” Robin asked. You shook your head “Robin just whatever happens don’t leave this circle” she looked at Dean then back at you and nodded.

Timmy walked into the entryway “I can’t control her” “Who?” Dean asked but you knew the answer “Your mom right?” Dean looked at you for an explanation when Sam asked Timmy to tell you both about the fire. Him recounting what happened broke your heart for the kid but the fact remained his mom was the ghost killing people and from what he told Dean his action figure was the anchor so Dean turned the oven on and threw the action figure into the flame as you pushed Timmy to Robin inside the circle.

Turned out it was in fact not the action figure but Timmy himself working as the anchor. Dean managed to get through to Timmy so he could break the anchor and let his mom go. You ran to check on both boys once she let them go. “I’m good” Dean grunted and Sam nodded.

You watched as Timmy’s mom finally got to move on with a small smile then he ran to you and Dean and threw his arms around you both.

------

You tried not to watch Dean and Robin but failed. Sam put his arm around your shoulders where you both stood next to baby “You good?” “Peachy”

All of you said your goodbyes to Sonny then hit the road.

------

You were sitting quietly in the backseat until Dean cleared his throat “Anybody up to stop for the night?” you still had a few states to go so you said “Why not?”

He pulled off at the next exit and stopped at the first motel which was the bluebird inn. He glanced your way in the mirror “What’d you think?” you shrugged “Dean you and Sam have slept in baby and I’ve slept in my jeep. This is a five star resort simply because if we have to sleep in here I’m taking the whole backseat and you two can fight over the front” He grinned “Here it is then”

You helped Sam gather the bags while Dean got a room then you both followed him. He unlocked it and you started to simply collapse onto one of the beds but the shower was calling your name. “First shower!” you announced running to the door before Dean and playfully stuck your tongue out at him when you got there first.

--------

While you were in the shower Sam went on a food run,him and Dean were eating when you stepped out the bathroom. “Who wants it next?” Sam had less food than Dean so he closed his plate “I’m next”

You sat across from Dean at the small table and picked at your food. “Something wrong sweetheart? I’ve seen you order orange chicken every time we get chinese” you shook your head “Guess I’m more tired than hungry, which Winchester do I get the pleasure of listening to snore tonight?”

"I can take the couch” he offered and you rolled your eyes “Just for that now you must share a bed with me” he grinned “Is that so?” “Yes it is” you teased and by the time Sam got out of the shower you were already curling up under the blanket on the bed nearest the bathroom. “Night Sammy” “Night Y/N”

-----

You were half asleep when Dean climbed into the bed behind you “Y/N, it’s a little cold but I don’t want to get punched here” he whispered so you lifted the blanket and felt his feet bump the back of your legs so you rolled over to look at him “I can sleep however which position do you prefer?” he smiled at you “There are so many ways I could answer that but I’m taking the win that you’re finally in a bed with bed” you rolled your eyes and said “Goodnight Dean” “Night sweetheart”

You closed your eyes and felt him trying to get comfortable without invading your side of the bed so you opened one eye and threatened “If you do not go to sleep I will sleep on you dammit” “I’m in the room!” Sam groaned and you laughed realizing what you’d said “Sorry Sam but your brother is a fucking wiggle worm over here. Not like I’m the first woman that’s been in bed with him”  “First one I know will kick my ass if my hand slips” Dean muttered and you looked up at him. He was so damn close and you could smell that scent of leather and gunpowder that always seemed to cling to him and it took everything in you to not close the space between your lips.

"Y/N about what Charlie said.." You closed your eyes at the wave of embarrassment that came along with those words. Christ he knew, he knew and had flirted or tried to flirt with Robin in front of you. How much of a sign did you need that he'd never feel the same about you, you'd always be his little brother's best friend to him. "Can we just go to sleep?" You begged quietly both of you trying to keep your voices down as to not disturb Sam again.

You felt his fingers lightly brush across your cheek "If you open your eyes for me and just listen I'll gladly go to sleep after I say what I want to" you slowly opened your eyes and took a deep breath before meeting those green eyes you loved so much. "Dean I'm not some kid you can just say you don't feel the same ok?"

"What if I do though?" Your heart was pounding so loudly in your ears you weren't sure if you'd heard him right so you asked "What?"

"It's took me a little while to figure it out but sweetheart living in close quarters with you, hunting with you... I've got to see another part of you. I've always known you were smart and a damn good hunter but you're also the type of woman to make everyone dance in the kitchen first thing in the morning. You can make Sam laugh at any given moment and you make me talk about things going on inside my head when anyone would else would give up at it. You can comfort someone one moment and scare the fucking hell out of a demon the next. You're beautiful when you first wake up and a knockout when you go undercover and I really want to kiss you right now but.." You cut him off by pressing your lips against his.

The momentary surprise of you kissing him wore off quickly. You felt when he shifted slipping an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. His lips moved against you gently, savoring the feeling.

A noise from Sam's bed made you pull apart quickly and you both looked over to see he was actually fast asleep and had just knocked a pillow off the bed. Dean let out a low laugh leaning his forehead over onto your chest "Guess that's our cue to get some sleep?" He asked leaving a light kiss on your throat before looking back up at your face.

You nodded trying to get your voice to work correctly "Um how do you want to sleep?" He settled onto his back and pulled you over to be laying on his chest. Your hand smoothed across the black t-shirt he was wearing trying to slow your brain down a bit to process what had just happened. "Already regretting wanting me?" He asked with the hint of a smirk but you could hear the actual hesitation under the sarcasm. You shook your head and laughed "Was just thinking Sam's reaction if he'd woke up to us kissing in the bed across from him" "He would've thrown something at us both" he joked then lightly kissed your forehead "Get some sleep. If you still want this come morning then we'll tell Sammy"

You fell asleep from the feeling of his fingers gently moving through your hair. 

-------

Sam whispering "So are you two finally together now or what?" to Dean was the first thing you heard when you started to wake up the next morning. You almost had the urge to remain quiet to see what Dean would say but instead you spoke as you stretched "Unless he's already changed his mind" making both of them look your way with a guilty expression. 

Dean was standing at the foot of Sam's bed repacking his bag and winked at you "Oh no Sweetheart. I'm a lot harder to get rid of than that" you smiled sleepily then cut your eyes at Sam "Unless you want to see me kiss your brother I suggest you make the coffee run" Sam laughed and grabbed the keys to baby "I'll grab breakfast too while I'm out" 

Dean watched him walk out then turned around and looked at you "So I got offered a kiss?" "Come get it" you replied and he grinned walking over to the bed. He slowly climbed onto the bed bracing his weight on his arms as he hovered over you "Good morning" he said before ducking his head down to catch your lips in a tentative kiss. 

You slid your arms up around his shoulders to pull him closer as he deepened the kiss. When you pulled away to catch your breath he moved down to your neck nudging at it until you moved enough to give him complete access. He kissed across it licking then nipping at the places that pulled a response out of you. When he bit down gently on your pulse point you let out a low moan "Fuck, do that again" he growled against your skin biting down just a little harder. You bucked your hips up against his letting out a light gasp when he ground down into you "Dean, christ either we've got to stop or this is going to go further than a few kisses" 

He made his way back up to your face and this time when he kissed you it was more possessive but just as gentle "I don't want you thinking that's all I'm after here" he whispered against your lips letting one hand trail down your side smiling at the little shiver you gave when his fingertips slid under your shirt and brushed across the bare skin. "And I'm happy about that Dean, really I am but waiting is easier said than done when you're touching me" he chuckled darkly then looked up at your face "Well what do you want to do here sweetheart? Because I'm yours no matter if we have sex or if we wait. You're stuck with me now"  

You took a few deep breaths then nodded "As much as I'd love to, I kind of don't like the idea of Sam waiting outside in the car for us to finish?" He smiled and kissed you once more "Fine by me. I'll let you get dressed and be a gentleman about it" he climbed off the bed and you saw him readjust himself in his jeans and had to stifle a laugh. He cut his eyes back at you "Laugh now sweetheart but the moment you tell me you want to, I'm going to do my best to make it hard on you to walk for a few days" you bit your lip at the promise and right before he walked outside you said "Well we are headed back to the bunker where we have two different bedrooms we can break in"  he winked at you then stepped out the door shutting it behind himself.

------

The ride back to the bunker you rode in the backseat as usual despite Sam's offer to switch seats. You didn't plan for that much to change about the dynamic you'd built with the boys. Just because you were now with Dean didn't change anything, did it?

You must have fell asleep at some point because the next thing you knew Dean was gently shaking your shoulder "Come on sleeping beauty, we're home"

You rolled your eyes then sat up straighter "Sam already head inside?" He nodded "We stopped to grab some food so he went to round Kevin up" You climbed out and reached back in for your bag but Dean beat you to it. You eyed the bag and he shrugged “Oh come on Y/N. You can let me shove my tongue down your throat but you wanna argue about me carrying your bag?” “Fair enough” you replied and was rewarded with one of those smiles that always made your heart flip. He held his hand out so you took it and let him lead the way inside.

-------

The moment the two of you made it into the interior door you heard Kevin say “I honestly thought they were already sleeping together” You stopped dead in your tracks and cleared your throat “Excuse me?” Kevin glanced up to see you and Dean standing at the head of the stairs and the guilt was clear on his face. He grinned then gathered his food “As I was telling Sam I am mid marathon on Netflix so I am going back to my room” you watched him scamper away and couldn’t help but laugh. Times like that you were reminded just how young he still was and it hurt your head to think about everything the kid had been through.

You followed Dean down the stairs and took your bag from him “I’m going to go put my stuff away, you two leave me some food” 

------

Dean watched you walk down the hall then looked back to see Sam was watching him. “What Sammy?” “Nothing, just you two are good together. I’ve seen it for a while” Sam answered with a shrug then grabbed his own bag and food “I’m going to go put my stuff away and grab a shower” “You headed to bed this early?” Dean questioned but Sam shrugged once again “Heading to bed, making sure I don’t stumble upon my brother and best friend in a compromising position however you want to put it”

------

You stepped out of your room and headed back towards the kitchen expecting to find Sam at the table but Dean was sitting alone and glanced up when you walked in. “I know Kevin retreated but where’d Sam get off to?” “Something about not wanting to catch us in a compromising position” he replied, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. 

Since Dean had already voiced the fact that he was concerned if the two of you slept together this soon you’d think he was only after sex you tried to act as if you’d thought about anything else besides how his lips felt on your skin. You walked to the fridge trying to ignore the way his eyes tracked your movement as you grabbed a beer out then walked back over to the table. “So what he thinks now we won’t be able to be around each other without you trying to throw me down on the nearest flat surface?”  Dean’s eyes skimmed up your body, biting his lip before he finally said “Something like that”

You took a sip of the beer and tried to look anywhere but at Dean as you said “So if I suggested we go to your room?” He was on his feet and to your side before you got the question out completely “I mean if you want” you took another swig of the beer then sat it down on the counter “Let me rephrase myself. Dean, can we go to your room now?” He smirked then pulled you into his arms capturing your lips in a lingering kiss full of unspoken promises. When he broke away from your lips leaving you a bit breathless he said “Lead the way sweetheart”

------

You stumbled into Dean’s door both of you working to kick your shoes off without breaking the kiss. Once you were inside he shut the door then pushed you back against it. He pulled back from you, both of your chests heaving slightly “Are you sure about this Y/N? About me?” “Just shut up and kiss me Dean” you replied with a slight laugh.

His hands went to the hem of your shirt and he hesitated for a moment before pulling it over your head letting it drop out of his hands once he had you bared. He started at your neck kissing down your jaw then across your collarbone savoring every sound he was able to pull from your lips. When he closed his mouth over your clothed breast you let out a low moan “Dean, bed please” he smiled against your skin and you felt his hands slide across your ass before he gripped your thighs to pull you up into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist capturing his lips in a messy kiss.

He walked the few steps to the bed then lowered you down onto it before pulling back long enough to pull his own shirt off then he climbed back onto the bed hovering over you. “I’ve wanted this for a while” he confessed, leaning his head down to kiss across your chest. “So have I” you whispered not trusting your voice to speak much louder. He chuckled then you felt his hands slide around you so you lifted up far enough he could unsnap your bra then he threw it somewhere behind him.

“Look at you, so damn beautiful” he murmured rolling your left nipple into his mouth teasing it with his tongue and teeth. “Oh fuck, Dean” you moaned tangling your fingers into his hair. He switched sides giving the right breast the same attention. You bucked your hips up against his and could feel how hard he already was through your jeans. “Use your words princess” he teased as he moved to leave a trail of open mouthed kisses across your stomach stopping just shy of the top of your jeans. “I need you” you whimpered not caring how desperate you sounded in that moment. Dean kissed your hip then moved to unsnap your jeans “Lift your hips for me baby” you did as he asked and felt the cool air hit your skin as he pulled the jeans off your legs and dropped them to the floor. A small part of you registered the fact that you were left completely bared to him but the rest of you could only concentrate on how Dean looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. “If I do anything you don’t like, tell me ok?” he asked and you nodded. He winked at you before lowering his head down to lick into you. Your hips arched off the bed at the feeling but one of his arms snaked across your waist to hold you in place “Lay back and enjoy it sweetheart” he cooed before flicking his tongue across your clit and you felt the pressure in your stomach start to build. He slid one finger into you followed by another curling them up until they found that spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. He kept pace with his tongue and fingers working you over that edge. When you came with a moan of his name on your lips he greedily lapped up your juices letting out a groan that vibrated through your core. 

When you became too sensitive you pushed his head away so he kissed his way back up your body until he got to your lips, kissing you sloppily and allowing you to taste yourself on him. “Please let me fuck you baby” he begged and christ hearing Dean Winchester sound like that was nearly enough to push you over that edge again   “Take your jeans off” you spoke and he quickly stood up long enough to push his jeans down off his hips then he climbed back onto the bed keeping his weight on his arms. You looked between you and felt your eyes widen slightly at his girth. He pressed his lips against yours in a gentle kiss “One more time, you’re sure?” you nodded “Yes Dean” He lined himself up with your entrance and you both let out a moan at the feeling of him slowly pushing into you.

Once he was completely sheathed inside of you he stilled letting you adjust to his size while he kissed down your neck. Once the sting of him stretching you gave way to the pleasurable fullness of him you moved your hips against his “Move baby” he started slowly rolling his hips into yours making your back arch off the bed at the feeling. “Dean, oh god” you moaned and that spurred his movements on. He snapped his hips forward into yours ripping a scream of pleasure from your lips. “Fuck you feel fucking amazing Y/N. God damn why didn’t we do this sooner” he groaned changing his angle just enough so that every thrust of his hips rubbed across that spot inside of you. “Right there Dean..oh fuck please don’t stop” you begged as your nails dug into his back. “Wasn’t planning on it” he grunted, keeping his pace the same as he slammed into you. You could feel that pressure building again and you must have clenched around him because he kissed your neck and said “Go ahead and come for me again baby. I won’t be far behind” his fingers came down to rub tight circles onto your clit and that was all it took to push you over the edge.

Your vision went soft around the edges as your second orgasm washed over you. You felt Dean’s hips falter as his thrusts started to become more frantic chasing the release. “Do I need to pull out?” he asked between gritted teeth. “No, I’m covered” you breathed, feeling yourself getting close to a third orgasm. He buried himself deep inside of you with one final thrust and the feeling of him coming coating inside of you pushed you over that edge again. “Holy hell Y/N” he spoke leaning his forehead over onto your chest while both of you worked to get your breathing back to normal. “Right back at you” you said then grimaced when you noticed the angry red claw marks littering his back “Shit, I marked the hell out of you Dean” He raised his head to glance over his shoulder at the marks and a grin slipped onto his face “Good, like I said I’m yours Y/N. Might as well mark your territory” you shook your head with a laugh that turned into a gasp when he pulled out of you. He reached down and found his shirt to use as a means of cleaning you both up. Once you were both as good as you could get he laid down next to you and pulled you into his arms “So, did I disappoint?” he asked and you cut your eyes up at him “Remind me to kick your ass for that question when the feeling comes back fully in my legs” he chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips “Sure thing baby”

Tags: @facadeformyrealblog @akshi8278

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

I want to read some WIPs!!! I've been reading only completed fanfics for a while now and I miss the thrill of receiving an email with an update and reading a brand new chapter! The only WIP I'm follow is RYLH, and I really want to follow some more! Can you suggest me a few stories please??

I can guarantee you that the thrill of readind a brand new chapter is amazing! I particularly love it!!

Here is a small list with all the WIPs I’m currently obssesed with:

The Queen Of All My Dreams by springsteenicious (also on ao3):

Four days after Chicago, Jackie is missing. Thanks to a dream that Eric has, they know where to find her. But the journey will not be as easy as they think. Through dragons, magic dreams and missed connections, will Hyde be able to return to Jackie?

I’ve been reading this story since it came out, and I’m very invested in it, it’s amazing. There’s only a chapter left, but I can’t just not recommend it, please read it.

Rated M.

88k words, 34 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

We’re Not Broken, Just Bent by SparklingSoul (also on ao3):

When tragedy strikes and Jackie and Hyde are forced to live up to their godparent duties, they need to overcome their differences and work together. Along the way, they realize that maybe their relationship isn't broken beyond repair after all...

This is a post season 8 story, and it’s AMAZING. The author updates it every Friday and Monday, and the story is already pre-written so it’s not going to be abandoned.

Trigger warning for major character death.

Rated T.

17k words and 7 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Jackie Stargazer by MistyMountainHop (also on ao3):

A funeral brings Jackie and Hyde together after fourteen years apart. Trauma made them wanderers, vagabonds moving in opposite directions. But the rock band Hyde roadies for reconnects them in ways neither expects.

So far I’ve only read the first two chapters, and they’re pretty damn good. I decided to wait to read the rest of it though.

I already know this is going to be a very long story, so I’ll wait until the story is like, on chapter 25 or something, because when I read it, I want to make a weekend out of it. I mean it. I plan on spending the entire weekend locked in my room, eating sweets and reading the hell out of this story. I’m already looking forward to it lol

Rated M

35k words, 9 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Miracle by B_August

To Pam Burkhart, Jackie is the abnormal child that her husband dragged in during their vacation in Hawaii. To her peers, she's the smart and stuck-up princess that graces the school halls. To the Basement Gang, she's the annoying brat that infiltrated their ranks. To Jackie herself, she is a super powered freak who just wants to do her best. But to Jack Burkhart, Buddy Morgan, a pair of higher life forms, and those who she would later help, she is nothing short of a miracle.

I’ve been waiting so long to read a Superhero AU in this fandom, I was absolutely thrilled when I saw this popping up on my ao3 feed this week. The first three chapters were pretty great and I’m anxiously waiting for more.

Rated G

3k words, 3 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

In Through Out a Door by djgrannyglasses

In the Summer of 1980 Hyde receives an unexpected visitor.

Also a pretty great story, it’s only in the beginning and there’s probably a lot more to happen, but the first few chapters were very promising and I honestly can’t wait to read more.

Rated T

6k words, 4 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Fez/Kelso, Eric/Donna

A retro romance by poeticlyme

Jackie Burkhart, the Princess of Point has an unrequited crush on a certain paranoid burnout. Or is it so unrequited?

This author mastered the slow burn thing, it’s amazing. The sexual tension between Jackie and Hyde in this story is just... Wow. I love it.

Rated M

73k words, 21 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Friday I’ll Be Over You by SnooksTheAllMighty (also on ao3):

Instead of Jackie pining over Hyde and bending over backwards for him after HE cheated on HER, she sees that she deserves more. But will that mean the end of Jackie and Hyde, or will he get his head out of his ass long enough to win her back? Takes place after 6X1.

I think we were all very frustrated by Hyde’s attitude in the first episode of season 6. In this story, Jackie stood up for herself like she should’ve.

Rated T.

5k words, only one chapter so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Playing Pretend by isnotme

Caught up in her teenager concerns – and some wounds to heal, Jackie didn’t realize that her parents' marriage was crashing down for real, causing a major turnaround in her world.

In the edge of seventeen, Hyde had too much on his mind. With graduation coming so soon, he knew too well he was about to be kicked out of the Forman's home. But when Bud’s illegal activities came to knock on his door, Hyde saw his plans falling apart once again.

Or An AU where Jackie and Hyde get themselves in one of those fake relationship situation and somewhere along the way, they find somethings in common.

I LOVE CLICHES. This is amazing, read it please.

Rated T

37k words, 17 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

I’d have you anytime by anonymous author

What if Jackie after panicking in her show, gave up? And what if she made an unnatural friendship? Basically a fix it of season 7.

I love a good J/E friendship story, I can’t help myself. This is adorable.

Rated T

15k words, 9 chapters so far

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Movies As Friends by rymilu

Jackie realizes a few things about herself after her kiss with Hyde. She once more tries to bag him after Michael and Donna leave to California, no longer hiding her feelings. Instead of pressuring him like before, she decides to start with taking him to the movies.

Ah, the mutual pining is everything in this story. They both have crushes on each other, and now that Donna and Kelso were in California, they decide to do something about it.

Rated M

38k words, 6 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I think this is pretty much it. I hope I was able to help you out!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.