#Harley Sunday x Steve Rogers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

harley-sunday · 3 years

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This is Where I Leave You

Summary: What was supposed to be a simple mission turns out to be a matter of life and death.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader [unnamed OFC (loosely based on Firestar)]

Warnings: ANGST. Character death. Language.

Word count: 5.9k

AN: Not sure why but I was in the mood for some angst last week and so here it is. It is somewhat inspired by Flashpoint S02E14 for those of you who know that show, but it takes place in that wonderful Marvel fanfic Universe where everyone lives at the compound/in the tower and Friday night’s are for Tony’s parties. I’m sure you know the one. I apologize in advance and yes, I did cry while writing this, so…

♥

Flashbacks in italics

In for seven, out for eleven.

It’s almost like a mantra stuck on repeat in your head, a distraction that only works half of the time.

In for seven, out for eleven.

In for seven, out for-

All of a sudden something moving in the treeline catches your eye and you squint against the sun to try and figure what it is and if you should alert Steve.

Steve, who’s on his knees at your feet, quietly working away and completely focused on the task at hand, although you can tell from the tense muscles in his back and the beads of sweat crowning his hairline that there’s probably a war going on inside of him. You wonder what he’s thinking right now and if he also feels like the weight of the world has been dropped on his shoulders.

Something steps out from in between the trees then and you let out a sigh of relief when you see it’s just a deer and her two fawns foraging for food. You watch them as they continue their journey, the fawns trailing behind their mother as if they’re connected by an invisible string, completely unaware of the two humans that are not even fifty yards away. You know the direction of the wind is in your favor, a brisk breeze kissing your face every now and then, a welcome relief from the sun that’s burning your cheeks, but even so you are amazed at how invisible you can become if you just stand still.

Your watch beeps then, scaring off the animals and letting you know another minute has passed. Like he did at every other minute mark, sixteen of them now in total, Steve looks up to check on you.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” it comes out a little shaky and the tears that have started to form in your eyes are not helping to convince him. You try to smile, “Guess I should have taken a better look at that waiver Tony made me sign when I first joined, huh?”

“Rogers,” Tony says as he takes your elbow and guides you to where Captain America is standing, alone, in front of the large windows that make up the entire west wall of Tony and Pepper’s penthouse, his hands in his pockets and his back to the crowded room.

He turns around just as you and Tony reach him and you wonder if the serum has enhanced his hearing so that he can hear you approach him even over the murmur of the crowd that’s gathered here for one of Tony’s infamous parties, but then you realize he must have seen your reflection in the window he was staring out of.

“Cap,” Tony says as he gently pushes you forward, “I’d like you to meet our newest recruit.”

You can see Cap’s eyebrows knit together as his eyes land on your face but before you can say anything Tony beats you to it.

“Don’t look at her like that, she’s still a good, what-” he shrugs, “-sixty years younger than you.”

You throw Tony a look, “Sixty-eight, thank you very much.”

“Whatever,” Tony says with a very elaborate roll of his eyes.

You shake your head and try to ignore him, instead holding out your hand and introducing yourself.

“Steve Rogers,” Steve replies with a hesitant smile, his eyes moving from you to Tony as if he’s trying to figure out your history.

“Yeah, so uh, she’s a nuclear engineer but as we all know-” Tony nods to his left where Bruce is sitting at the bar, “-sometimes experiments fail, you know, liquids get mixed up, nasty stuff. So now Firestar over here can produce radiation and light, and can absorb and manipulate energy. Pretty nifty, if you ask me, but then again-”

“Tony-”

“You know what, fine,” Tony says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I just came here to introduce you to Cap since he wasn’t here for the official introduction earlier this week.” He turns to Steve then, “Told you she’d be a delight.”

You shake your head at Tony, “Please go away.”

Tony fakes being shocked, hand to his chest as he says, “Remind me to write you up for bad behavior, Sparky,” before he salutes the two of you and disappears.

“Asshole,” you mutter quietly as you watch him make his way across the room. When you turn back you find Steve staring at you with a questionable look in his eyes. You’re quick to explain, “I know him from before all of this-” you hesitate but then you hold up your hand and snap your fingers, creating a tiny spark, “-happened. We worked together on some projects in the past and when he found out about the “incident”-” you air-quote the word, “-he contacted me and told me there would always be a place for me here.” You smile, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve known him long enough to know he can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.”

“Hmm,” Steve agrees, although he doesn’t comment on it any further. Instead he nods towards the other people in the room, his hands back in the pockets of his pants again, “Everyone treating you ok so far?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “it’s nice to be here.” It’s true. Ever since the incident at the lab you’ve felt like an outsider, felt people could tell there was something wrong with you, but not here. Here people are kind, not just interested in your powers but in you as a person, and honestly it’s like a weight has lifted off your shoulders.

“Good.”

You open your mouth to say something but it’s then your watch beeps, letting you know it’s time to get back downstairs. “I’m sorry,” you look up at Steve, “I have some things I need to do in the lab.” You pull a face, “Probably best not to mess up five months worth of experiments in my first week here, right?”

Steve chuckles, “Probably not, no.”

“So,” you try to smile, “I guess this is where I leave you.”

After another three minutes have passed you risk a quick glance down and see Steve’s still trying to clear the dirt surrounding your foot, his movements as controlled as possible, trying not to touch the box you’re standing on. When you look up again you do the same thing you’ve been doing for the past ten minutes or so and start listing off the things that are in your field of vision.

“Tahoe on my left,” you whisper, “an iron gate in front of it, three barracks to my right, all their doors open.” You let out a staggered breath, “The tree line in front and behind me, and a mother deer and her two fawns wandering around somewhere.”

“Steve at your feet,” he says then, looking up at you with a weak smile, “trying to get you out of this mess.”

“This is going to be one hell of a debriefing, Cap,” you try, but your voice catches on his name and when you try to smile you feel yourself failing.

“I don’t understand, Nat.” You let out a frustrated sigh and throw your gym bag on the floor, “Why does he have to be such an asshole?”

“He’s not-”

“He tells me to watch my language like I’m a fuckin’ sixteen-year old kid,” you hold up your hand and start counting on your fingers, “he makes me write the reports after every mission we go on and then ever since last month, he wants to meet up so we can debrief but it’s always just the two of us, whoever else is on our team doesn’t have to attend for whatever reason, and then during our last mission brief he told me to be careful. Like, what the hell is that about?”

“Maybe he-”

“I have been a part of the team for over a year and all of a sudden he’s worried about me? That accident in the lab should have killed me, and let me tell you, I was ok with that. I made peace with it. But instead of dying I can now produce fuckin’ radiation at any given time,” you fume, “so I don’t think breaking and entering into a high security prison to retrieve the file of one their inmates is going to me killed. I’m sorry, but no.”

Natasha throws you a look, silently asking if there’s more or if this is it. When you don’t say anything else she takes a deep breath and holds out her hands, letting you know she comes in peace, “Maybe he does those things because he likes you.”

“I- He-,” you stutter. “What?”

Natasha drops her hands and sits down on one of the benches, patting the spot next to her and waiting for you to sit down before she continues, “I’ve known Steve for a while so,” she shrugs, “I like to think that I know him, sometimes maybe even better than he knows himself.” She smiles at you then, “I see the way he looks at you when he tells you to be careful-”

You scoff, “Yeah, sure.”

“No.” Natasha shakes her head, “You want to know the reason why he wants you to write those reports?”

You shrug.

“It’s because he values your opinion more than anyone else’s,” Nat puts her hand on your arm and gives it a gentle squeeze, “and all those debriefings with just the two of you?” She chuckles, “That was my idea.”

“What?”

“Like I said, I see the way he looks at you, but-” Natasha shakes her head, “-he would never admit it. Not to me, not to you, and sure as hell not to himself. He’s lost so much already that he doesn’t even believe this is a possibility.”

“And what makes you think I do?”

“Oh come on,” Natasha nudges you with her shoulder, “I’ve seen the way you look at him too.”

“Steve?”

He stands up at the sound of your voice, so suddenly that it makes you want to take a step back, and so you curse quietly when at the very last nanosecond you realize that you can’t. Your leg’s a little shaky, no doubt a result of the conflict between the neurons your brain already fired when you wanted to move and the new neurons that were sent to intercept that message when you remembered you shouldn’t move. With a grunt you try to regain your balance while trying to make sure you don’t move your weight around too much because God knows what will happen if it does.

“Shit,” he holds up his hands to you, “I’m sorry. I-”

“Hey,” you say with a faint smile, “language.” You nod towards the Tahoe that’s parked just outside the gate, “You think you could get me a bottle of water? I’m feeling a little thirsty.”

Steve looks from you to the box and back, unsure almost.

You glance at your watch, “I’ve been here for almost twenty five minutes,” you try your hardest to smile, “I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“Ok,” he nods, “just don’t move, ok?”

“Nope,” you say, popping the P.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Go on,” you nod towards the car, “I’m not going anywhere.” You know it is the wrong thing to say when you see him try to hide the pained look that crosses his face by turning around quickly, but you catch a glimpse of it anyway and it makes your eyes burn with unshed tears while a ragged breath escapes you. The unfairness of it all hurting you the most.

Before you have time to think about it though, your watch buzzes to let you know you have a new message from Nat, telling you to switch your comms unit over to channel two. You tap the settings on your watch and change the channel effortlessly, “Nat?”

“Hey,” her voice is kind, softer than usual, and it’s at that moment you realize this is way worse than you thought. “You ok?”

“Tell me what you know,” you reply instead, not really wanting to answer her question because you are sure that it will break you if you do.

Nat clears her throat, “We’re almost there.”

“What’s almost?”

Natasha hesitates.

“Nat-”

“Twenty minutes,” her voice is barely above a whisper.

“Fuck.” All of a sudden it’s getting difficult to breath and it feels as if someone has dropped a hundred pound weight on your chest and then punched you in the stomach for good measure.

“Just breathe,” Nat says, “please. Just,” she sighs, “don’t move and keep breathing, ok?”

It’s then you hear Steve close the car door, holding two bottles of water, “I need to go.” You let out a shaky breath, “Nat, If I don’t- Promise me you’ll take care of him?”

“Don’t-”

“Nat,” you plead, “promise me.”

“Ok,” she whispers, “I promise.”

You let him know you’re there with a soft knock on the door before you step inside, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he draws out, suspiciously eyeing the basket you're carrying.

“Uh, yeah,” you say, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks but deciding it’s better not to beat around the bush, “so today a year ago we had our first debriefing together and I thought maybe we should celebrate?”

“Hmm,” he replies while walking over to where you’ve put the basket on the table, trying to lift the lid.

“Don’t,” you say as you swat away his hand, “you’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Surely you don’t want to celebrate here?”

“Why not?” You smile, “This is where we had our first debriefing after all,” a grin then, “and every one after that.”

“Well, if you’re up for it,” he says with a smile, “maybe we could go up to the roof? I think there’s a picnic table up there, so-”

“I’d like that,” you say, reaching for the basket.

This time it’s him who swats away your hand as he grabs the handle, “Come on.”

You follow him to the elevator bay not too far from the meeting room, for once glad that he prefers to have the debriefings at night, when there’s no one else around. There’s an elevator already waiting for you and when you get inside you push the button needed, while you wait for the elevator doors to close.

When you get to the top floor and off the elevator you walk next to Steve as you make your way to the south corner of the building, to where the roof access is. Steve’s been awfully quiet ever since you stepped off the elevator and you start to wonder if this was such a good idea after all, but then you open the door that leads to the roof and you let out a gasp, “Oh,”

There’s a small platform that has four posts on each corner, with strings of lights hanging between them, casting a warm yellow glow on the picnic table that stands in the center.

You look from Steve to the scene in front of you and back, “You did this?”

He smiles, “You’re not the only one who remembered our debriefing anniversary.”

“I love it,” you tell him with a smile before you make your way to the platform. There’s a bottle of what looks like champagne in an ice bucket on the table and when you recognize the label you turn around, “How did you know?”

Steve shrugs, a mischievous smile on his lips, “I have my ways.”

“You have Nat,” you reply, suddenly remembering the conversation you had with her not even two weeks ago. She kept asking you all these random questions, like what your favorite drink was and if you preferred savory over sweet when it came to snacks. And now all your answers are on the table in front of you. “Remind me to thank her.”

“Already did,” Steve says with a grin. He motions for you to sit down and takes out the bottle of champagne, uncorking it with ease and filling up the two glasses that are on either side of the table without spilling anything.

“Captain America,” you tease, “popping champagne like it’s nobody’s business. Who knew?”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Really?”

He just nods and hands you your glass before he holds up his own and clinks it against yours, “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” you reply, “to, uh, the debriefing crew?”

He chuckles, “To us.”

“To us.” You watch him as he sits down opposite to you, and take a sip of your champagne, relishing the way it tickles your throat. You smile then, “I know you take your first coffee of the day with milk and sugar but that every other cup after that is black. I know you like baseball more than american football even though you don’t want Tony to find out.”

“What are you-”

“I know you and Nat are like brother and sister and that you value her opinion the most.” You shrug, “I know we work well together, even though you really should stop telling me to watch my language, and-” You hesitate then and drop your gaze down to your hands.

His foot nudges yours under the table, “And?”

“And,” you draw out, “I know you like me,” you look back up at him, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, “and I know I like you too.”

The sun’s at its highest point and you can feel yourself starting to get a little lightheaded just as your watch beeps to let you know you’ve passed the thirty-minute mark. You get ready to answer Steve’s inevitable question, but it never comes, instead there’s not but silence and it feels ominous, worrying you more than everything that has happened so far.

When you look down you see Steve sitting back on his heels, shaking his head.

“Steve?”

“I can’t do this.” He looks up at you, his eyes filled with dread “I am so sorry.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never seen one of these before,” he nods at the box, “I don’t know how to-”

“Hey,” you tell him, holding out your hands to him even though you can’t reach him, “it’s ok. Tony will be here soon, right? He’ll know what to do.”

Steve lowers his head, not looking at you and ignoring your outstretched hands, “Yeah.”

“Steve,” you tell him, your voice much more commanding now. You wait until he looks at you before you continue, “It’s ok.” There’s a weight behind your words that you hope he understands, even if maybe he doesn’t want to.

He runs a hand over his face and straightens his back, “Ok. Let me get an update from Tony and then we’ll take it from there, ok?”

“Ok,” you agree and watch as he walks towards the gate, no doubt to keep you out of earshot. A little frustrated to be left out of the conversation you activate your comms unit, “Nat?”

“Yeah?”

“What channel are they on?”

She probably knows better than to argue with you and so she lets out a resigned, “Five point three.”

“Thank you.” Before she has a chance to say anything else you push the button needed on your watch to switch to the other channel and all of a sudden Tony’s voice comes in loud and clear over your comms unit that you wear in your left ear.

“You sure about that, Cap?”

You see more than hear Steve’s frustration from the way he’s pacing in front of the gate, “It’s a TM-38, Tony. Soviet-made. I’ve seen them in the field before.”

“And there’s no way you can dismantle it?” Tony tries again, his voice a little tighter now.

“No,” Steve says while he looks at you, the desperation in his voice matched by his pained expression.

The mission brief is simple. The HYDRA division that used the army base had abandoned it in a hurry three days ago, leaving behind a plethora of important files that you and Steve are sent out to retrieve. This morning you tried to convince Tony to delay the mission with one or two days, not particularly looking forward to spending your six-month anniversary out in the field instead of the nice little restaurant Steve promised he would take you to.

Tony didn’t budge, said he had intel that HYDRA wanted to return to collect what they could sooner rather than later and so here you are, trying to navigate through the dense Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia while Steve is driving the Tahoe that somehow got transported here on the Quinjet.

“There it is,” you point towards a stone structure on your right. The base is surrounded by tall trees and definitely looks like something HYDRA would use to hide out in. You can only see three barracks above ground, but the map Nat has given you on the flight over shows an intricate underground network of tunnels, bunkers, and panic rooms.

The room you’re interested in, however, is all the way in the back, housing about five servers full of information you’re desperate to get your hands on. There’s a laptop in your backpack to connect to the servers, and a program written by Bruce that should be able to copy the files in no time.

“Ready?” Steve asks once he’s pulled up to the gate. He looks at you with a smile and then surprises you by leaning in and giving you a kiss, “Not how I wanted to spend our anniversary, but-”

“Yeah,” you agree, for a moment allowing yourself to get lost in his eyes. Your watch double beeps then, letting you know it’s go-time and so you grab your backpack and exit the car, drawing your gun as soon as you reach the gate.

With every step you take towards the first of the three barracks it is clear that there’s no one here, the doors of all the buildings wide open and not a sound to be heard except your footsteps. You feel yourself start to relax a little and a sliver of hope starts to form somewhere, because maybe you will make it home in time for dinner after all.

The trek to the server room proves to be rather uneventful and once you’ve connected the laptop to the mainframe it only takes about twenty minutes for the files to upload. You use that time to scout the other rooms for valuable information, but come up empty-handed. Apart from the servers there’s not much they’ve left behind and you can’t help but wonder if this was all some sort of setup and if by downloading the files you’re bringing in some sort of spy-ware.

“Remind me to tell Bruce to check the files for any malware,” you tell Steve, who nods. A notification lights up on your screen then, letting you know the download is complete. You unplug the laptop and stow it in your backpack before you nod to Steve, “Ready.”

“Alright, let’s head out.”

When you finally make it outside again, you have to blink a few times to adjust to the bright sunlight that’s shining through the treetops. You’re following a few steps behind Steve as you fish a piece of paper out of your pocket, on it the coordinates for the pick-up point you’re supposed to go to, so the team can fly you back to the compound. Of course they’re programmed into your watch as well, but you like the act of taking a minute to write down the pick-up coordinates before you leave on your mission, almost like a sort of good-luck charm to remind you to make it home safe.

A quick glance at your watch tells you it’s still early enough to make it back in time for dinner and you’re just about to tell Steve the good news when a gust of wind blows the paper out of your hand. You chase after it, stepping off the path that leads to the gate and onto the soft forest floor. You almost catch it but then the wind picks it up again and for a moment you debate just leaving it, after all it’s just a piece of paper, but the information on it is too important and so once again you chase after it.

Finally it’s within reach and you stick your foot out, hoping to trap the piece of paper under your shoe before it flies off again. There’s a click resounding through the sole of your shoe once you’ve put your foot down, the surface on which you’re standing hard and not at all like the soft bed of pine needles you were walking on before. Instantly a chill runs through your spine and you try to stay in position, afraid of what will happen if you move.

“Steve?”

He must hear the panic in your voice because he turns around right away, his brows furrowed as he tries to understand what’s going on.

“I’ve stepped on something,” you try to explain, but your voice is too weak and the wind carries it away from him. You point at your ear and turn on your comms unit, before you hold up your hand to tell him to stay in position, “Can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“I- uh,” you let out a shaky breath, trying to gather your thoughts so you can give him as much information as possible, “I stepped on something. It’s a- It’s a hard surface, almost like metal, and when I put my weight down on my foot, something underneath clicked, like-”

“Like you stepped on a pressure plate?” Steve asks, already one step ahead of you.

“Yes,”

“Steve?” It’s Natasha who comes in first, “What’s going on?”

“Rogers,” Tony barks through the comms unit, “I need a status report stat.”

“Please,” Steve pleads, his voice rough and full of emotion, “just- Just give me a second.”

You can see him tap his watch before he runs a hand over his face, no doubt trying to figure out what to do next. With a small nod, almost as if he tries to convince himself, he drops his backpack and slowly starts making his way towards you.

“Steve. Don’t” you tell him, but either he really doesn’t hear you or just pretends he doesn’t because he keeps walking.

“Talk to me, Sparky,” Tony says, his voice much kinder now. “Cap’s offline, yeah?”

“I think so, but he’s making his way towards me, Tony, I-” you look around you, “I don’t know if it’s safe. Please tell him to stop-”

“His comm’s off,”

“There must be some way to turn it on remotely, right?” There’s no reply and so you try again, “Right?”

“Fine,” Tony sighs, “but before I do I want you to know that there’s nothing we can say to stop him. You know that right?”

You lock eyes with the man walking towards you and your heart suddenly feels heavy in your chest, “I know.” When Steve reaches you, you turn off your comms unit, “So, what’s the plan, Cap?”

“I need to take a good look at it first,” Steve says as he drops to his knees, “just try to stay still, ok?”

You nod, “Yup,” and for the first minute or so you look down to try and see what he’s doing, but it messes with your balance and so instead you focus on the treeline in front of you, trying to remember the breathing exercises Clint taught you during one of your stakeouts together.

Breathe in for seven seconds, out for eleven.

In for seven, out for eleven.

Another beep, but this time you ignore the impulse to check your watch. You don’t want to know how long you’ve been here. It doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters now is making sure Steve makes it out of this alive.

“They’re five minutes out,” he says when he gets back to you.

“Ok,” you tell him, eyeing his reaction to see if he hears you over the comms unit you still have switched on. He doesn’t respond and so you figure he must have turned it off after talking to Tony, which is good. He kneels at your feet again, why you’re not sure. There’s nothing he can do. Still, it gives you a chance to check in with the rest of the team and you quietly whisper, “Team, do you copy?”

“Loud and clear,” Nat replies almost immediately.

“Same,” Tony and Bruce say at the same time, while Clint’s “Yes, ma’am,” follows a little later.

“Steve?” You wait until he looks up at you before you continue, “I think we need to consider our options here.”

“Why?” He looks confused, “The team’s almost here, they’ll know what to do.”

“And if they don’t?”

“And if they don’t,” he bites back in a tone of voice you haven’t heard before, “we’ll find another solution.”

“Steve-”

“No.” He pushes himself up and stands in front of you with his hands on his hips, “We’ll find a way.”

You hesitate, trying to find the right words, “I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to be completely honest with me, ok?”

“That depends on what you’re about to ask me, because-”

“Do you think I could absorb the energy that this thing produces?”

He shakes his head, “I don’t-”

“No,” Bruce comes in over your earpiece, sounding absolutely defeated, “I’ve run several calculations but there are way too many variables-”

“This thing is too strong,” Tony says, the desperation seeping through his voice, “before you have a chance to absorb any of it you would be-”

“-know.” Steve lets out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know enough about nuclear physics to even try to answer that question.”

“Ok,” you nod, trying to stay calm even though your heart is screaming and your stomach is twisting and turning inside of you, “but Tony and Bruce are sure they can dismantle it?”

“They said-”

“No,” it’s Bruce who speaks up first again.

“There’s no way to dismantle it safely,” Nat says, her voice low. “The Soviets purposely built it that way.”

No matter how hard you try to hide it, you are sure something registers on your face. Disbelief first, anger next because Jesus, Steve was supposed to be your happy ending, and finally acceptance, Nat’s words about not being able to dismantle the mine slowly turning into something inevitable. It’s ok, you tell yourself. You were living on borrowed time anyway.

“-they could try,” Steve says, looking at you in a way that tells you he knows something’s up. He points at his earpiece, “Your comm’s on, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you say, trying to give him an apologetic smile, but undoubtedly failing. “I’m sorry, Steve, but-” you shrug, “I just had to know.” You bite your lip to keep from crying and it’s almost as if the reality of it all has finally sunken in, “There’s nothing we can do.”

“There has to be something-”

A chorus of no’s echoes over your comms unit.

“No,” you shake your head, the tears you've been trying so hard to fight back finally spilling over, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Steve. My heart is pounding in my chest, my leg has been shaking non-stop for the past minute or so, if I- If I spasm right now-”

“Stop.”

“Steve-”

“Stop!” He rubs his hands over his face, “There’s got to be another way.” He turns his comms unit back on, “Bruce, what about a weight transfer?”

Bruce hesitates, “I’m not sure I-”

“The only reason the mine hasn’t exploded yet is because somehow her weight is keeping the pin in place, right?” He sounds frantic, pacing back and forth in front of you, “So what if I find something that’s the same weight and we do a transfer?”

“I don’t know, Cap,” Bruce says, “that’s really tricky. It has to be perfectly timed.”

“At least wait until we get there,” Tony suggests, “don’t go at this on your own.”

“We’re less than a minute out, Steve,” Nat offers, “please wait.”

“What about my shield, maybe-”

“Steve?” Your voice is weak, hardly audible but somehow he hears you and stops talking. “Steve, look at me.” When he does, you nod, “It’s ok.”

“What?”

“Go get your shield.” You take a ragged breath and blow it out in a small puff before you nod to the car, “Go.”

“They’re almost here,” Steve tries and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to leave you, “they can pick it up.”

“Steve,” you try again, your voice a little louder this time, “go get your shield.”

He looks from you to the car and back, unsure of what to do.

It’s then you hear the distant rumble of another vehicle approaching and you know there’s not much time left. Another deep breath, “Now.”

He furrows his brows at your command but then does as he’s told, and you let out a sigh of relief as you watch him jog to the car where he opens the trunk. He stands still for a moment, drops his head, and you can tell he’s feeling desperate and out of control. Leaving him behind hurts you more than anything else, but you know there’s no way you’ll make it out of this alive. It feels like whatever got a hold of your heart earlier tightens its grip, making you gasp for breath.

“Steve,” you tell him, your voice soft as you see him turn towards you, his shield in one hand as he closes the trunk with the other, “it’s ok. It’s time to let me go.”

You think you hear Tony whisper a quiet, “Fuck,” over the comms unit.

“I know. I’m sorry guys,” you tell your team, “but I guess we all know there’s no other way.” “Are you sure?” It’s Tony who asks you the question. You nod, even though they can’t see you, “It’s the only way.”

“It’s ok,” Nat says, her voice a little unsteady, “It’s ok. I’ll take care of him.”

“I’m gonna miss you, kid,” Clint tells you in a whisper.

“It was an honor working with you,” Bruce says, his voice catching on the last word, “I’ll keep your research going, doc.”

“You are braver than anyone I’ve ever met,” Tony admits quietly, “I won’t forget you.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, a single tear sliding down your cheek.

When you look back up you see Steve is still rooted in the same spot, disbelief written all over his face. You try to smile at him, “I love you,” a sob then, “I just want you to know that.”

Something else registers on his face then, something you recognize as the determination to make things right and you know it’s your cue.

“Let me go, Steve,” you nod to let him know it’s ok. A faint smile then as you remember the first time you met him, “I guess this is where I leave you.”

From that moment everything happens in slow motion.

Steve is running towards you, eyes wide in shock when finally he understands what you’re about to do.

You give him one last apologetic smile, and another “I love you.”

He comes to an abrupt stop just thirty yards away from you and watches you as you take one last deep breath.

It’s time to move, you tell yourself, and when the neurons fire from your brain and the muscles in your leg react you whisper a final, “It’s ok.”

The last thing you see and hear is Steve, his eyes finding yours as he quietly tells you, “It’s ok. I love you.”

#Steve Rogers Fanfic #Steve Rogers x reader #Harley Sunday x Steve Rogers #Chris Evans #Chris Evans x reader #Marvel fanfic

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donutloverxo · 4 years

Text

Salty Baby

Chapter three

Authors note- From now on please read the warnings as the chapters will be explicit. If you want in on the taglist let me know.

Please do not repost or steal my work. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- When you moved to New York in hopes of living a glamorous life this isn’t what you expected. Steve offers to help you but your pride gets in the way. Pride isn’t going to pay your rent and college loans.

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader

Warning- smut, loss of virginity, virgin reader, misuse of cucumbers, sugar daddy/baby themes

Word count- 3k

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter four | Chapter five

Masterlist

Over the next month you saw Steve thrice, sometimes four times a week. He insisted on planning and paying for the dates. He bought you flowers or chocolates every time he saw you.

It was strange initially, but now you were used to it. Considering the era he was from it made sense that he wished to take care of you.

Tonight was a movie date. Those were his favorite. He said that they were timeless and reminded him of his childhood.

“That was nice. A happily ever after. Such wish fulfillment” you scoffed referring to the romcom you had just seen.

You were walking hand in hand with him, with no destination in mind. You wanted to ask him to show you his home, maybe that could lead to more things but you didn’t want to seem desperate.

It was strange to be with him. You felt things you never thought you could.

You’d feel your entire body trembling, when he dipped down to kiss you, squeeze your hips, touch your lower back or hell even just smile at you.

It’s not like you didn’t see him yearn for you. Not that there was much about you to yearn for. You had caught him staring at your cleavage twice. Both times he got so red you were afraid he’d combust. You were pretty sure you felt his eyes on your ass.

But he was old fashioned and a gentleman. He wanted to court you, to treat you like a proper lady. If only he knew just how unladylike you were.

You were apprehensive about dating a 100 year old initially. That whole thing was still bizarre. Steve didn’t act like a hundred year old, not most of the times anyway. Any unsuspecting person would just assume he’s a regular guy.

“How about Sunday?”, you suggested when you were both discussing when to meet again.

“Ah Sunday...” He trailed of running his hands through his hair. “I’m going to DC to see a friend.”

“Oh” You knew he wouldn’t be at your beck and call every time you wanted him to be. The thought of not seeing him was still disheartening. Your schedule was packed after Sunday with work and classes. “That’s alright!” You faked some enthusiasm to hide your disappointment. It wasn’t his job to make sure you’re always happy.

“Yeah. Maybe I could take you sometime? She'd love to meet you” He asked with a sheepish smile.

“You talk about me?” You smirked. Feeling some pride creep up in you “Who is she?”

“Her names Peggy. I knew her before the ice”

All color fell from your face. You knew who Peggy Carter was. You had read about her while researching Steve. She was ,apparently in love with him. You didn’t know if Steve returned her feelings.

You hadn’t really talked about her or past relationships yet. Of course there had to be something wrong. No one is ever as perfect as Steve Rogers. He was still hung up on his ex girlfriend. Were you just a placeholder for her? Someone he could use to move on?

“What’s wrong?” He asked. You shook your head trying to evade the question looking away from him. “You don’t want me seeing her?”

“No. I can’t tell you what to do. It’s just... do you still have feelings for her?” You asked even if you weren’t sure if you wanted to know the truth.

“I... I used to. I was angry I didn’t get to have a dance with her. But then I realized how happy she is. She lived a fulfilling life. And I’m happy for her. She’s just a friend I promise” He held your hand with his looking at you with a pout. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you. “I have feelings for you” He continued when you refused to talk “In fact” he stood up straighter if he was going to do this he will do it properly “I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend”

You blurt out a quick laugh smothering your mouth with your hand. He furrowed his brows at you. “No ones asked me that before it’s... weird. But a good kind of weird”

“So that’s a yes?”

You smiled brightly at him. Perfect innocent Steve Rogers. “Yes. And you’ll be my boyfriend?” you cover your mouth to stop yourself from laughing further. “I’m sorry it’s just so cheesy. I guess we’re going to be that cheesy gross couple”

“I could get behind that” He returned your smile. Bending down slightly to give you your routine goodbye kiss.

***

Steve hadn’t heard from you for over a week. He knew you’d be busy so he kept his phone calls short. He couldn’t stop himself from worrying about you. You sounded so exhausted. He wished there was a way for him to help you.

He dailed you number on his phone. Hoping to sneak in a quick good night. Maybe if you weren’t tired you could talk like you used to.

“Hello” You picked up your voice hoarse. He could hear traffic in the background.

“Hey. What are you doing out so late?” He had told you to call him to pick you up if you were out late. But of course you’d refuse to accept any kind of help.

“I don’t know” You voice broke. You were sobbing trying to calm yourself down.

“Where are you? I’ll come get you” He quickly got up getting his jacket on.

“No... I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’m fine really”

He used his ‘captain voice’ as Tony called it and sternly said your name. “Where are you?”

After some convincing you told him where you were. He asked you to wait for him. In less than twenty minutes he was with you.

He took in you state. Your eyes and nose red. It was obvious you were crying for quite a while. Your eyes bore black circles. He felt his heart swell in his chest. He should've known something was wrong.

You were in no mood to talk. He got you on his Harley and drove home. He would get some tea in you and make you comfortable before he asks what’s wrong with you.

He was waiting for you on his couch staring at your empty tea cup. You hadn’t said a word since you both got home. You refused to even look at him. He didn’t take it personally he knew something was going on with you. After what felt like hours you got out of the bathroom sitting beside him on the couch.

“You ready to talk?” He knew he shouldn’t press you too much but you shouldn’t be keeping things bottled up either.

“I just had a fight with Anna. She doesn’t want me to leave. She needs me there to help take care of her kids. Which is so ridiculous. I pay her rent I don’t have to look after her rugrats” you huffed looking at him. The tea and his presence calmed you a bit. “Thanks for being there for me”

“Always” He smiled lacing your fingers with his “You can stay here as long as you like. Nobody should treat you like that” he said kissing your knuckles.

You both cuddled on the couch a bit. He stroked your hair hoping to sooth you a bit. Watching some show on the TV. You couldn’t care to remember. All you could think about were his arms around you. His hot breath behind your ears. His fingers drawing random patterns on your stomach. You couldn’t even remember what you were upset about. You sighed feeling yourself sink further into him.

“You wanna go to bed?” He drawled hastily getting you off of his lap. You stared at him confused. He sat up straight licking his lips. “You can take the bed. I’ll take the couch” He stood up heading towards his bedroom.

You followed behind him with purpose. He collected a pillow and a blanket wishing you a good night heading back towards the living room. You stood in front of him blocking him.

“You could just sleep here you know?” You said as seductively as you could.

“Well I can’t have you sleeping on the couch”

Perfect, innocent, clueless Steve. “I meant we both sleep here”

“Oh. Are you sure?” he asked putting the pillow back on his bed. “I really don’t mind...” He was cut off by your lips attacking his pulling on them with your teeth.

After the mild shock wore off he pulled you into him by pulling at your waist. He let you slip your tongue in his mouth.

“Wait” He broke the kiss shaking his head to clear it. You looked at him with your eyes dark with lust. “Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure. I’ve never been so sure about anything”

You both settled on his bed with you straddling his lap. You pulled at the hem of his t-shirt he helped you by pulling it off tossing it somewhere.

“Wait-“ You broke the kiss when you felt him sneak his hand up your shirt.

“What? what’s wrong?” he panicked. Putting some distance between you to look at you face.

“It’s just.. I’ve never done this before.” You said looking down at your thighs wrapped around his hips. “I just wanted you to know in case you thought I wasn’t good at it” You shrugged nonchalantly.

He gave you a small nod. He was unsure of the entire situation now. You were vulnerable, he would feel as if he was taking advantage of you.

He cleared his throat trying to think straight. He cock was already straining in his pants from your kisses and heavy petting.

“Then I need to make it special for you doll” He quickly corrected himself saying your name. He knew you didn’t like nicknames but sometimes he couldn’t help it. “Take you out to a fancy dinner. Flowers and everything. Maybe we could take that horse carriage through Central Park”

You smiled at the childlike excitement in his voice. His twinkling blue eyes looking into yours shyly. Afraid he’d gone too far.

“You can call me anything you like”, you said pecking his lips “It doesn’t have to be any more special. It’s already special because it’s with you” You lightly scratch his scalp the way you knew he liked.

He leaned into your touch extremely tempted to give in.

“Besides it’s not like I’m saving myself for someone. I was just always too busy with something. I’m not technically a virgin. A cucumber did the deed long ago”

He stared at you shocked with wide eyes. He had learnt some things about modern sex toys. But this was something new. “A cucumber?” He asked titling his head more curious than anything. He felt himself heating up at the thought of you pushing it in and out of you. Making yourself cum with it. He shifted a bit when he felt his pants becoming even more uncomfortable.

“Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough” you smirked grinding your hips on his erection making him grunt. His put his hands on your hips to still you. “I’m glad it’s with you though” You gave him a tender look hoping to convince him.

He took a few deep breaths to steady himself. He couldn’t think with his head since all his blood was flowing elsewhere. Here you were, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, sitting on his lap asking him to make love to you. Only an idiot would say no to you.

You got tired of him staring at you, choosing to leave some hickeys on his neck. He moaned when you sucked on a spot below his ear. You pulled his earlobe between your lips giving it a few soft sucks.

But then he realized. He could smell you. Smell your arousal. Timidly he snaked his hand inside your panties. His breath hitching when he felt your wet pussy. You whined into his neck. Putting your hand on top of his pushing it deeper into you.

He can have something for himself at least this once. He decided to be selfish with you. He could only be Americas golden boy for so long. Even if he didn’t deserve you, your innocence, you were willing to give it to him. It was good enough for him.

He pushed you down on the bed, your head hitting the pillow. Taking his hand out of your pants he sucked his fingers quickly to clean them. You lifted your hips to help him take off your pants.

You looked down and cringed at the brown cotton panties you were wearing. Had you known you were going to fuck your dream guy for the first time you would’ve wore something more pretty.

He didn’t seem bothered by it. Kissing your mould over your panties. He pulled down his pants along with his boxers. You sat up on your elbows throwing your shirt in the growing pile of clothes around you.

His mouth dropped open at the sight of your bare breasts. You pinched your right nipple rolling it between your fingers just to goad him a bit. You wondered how far you could push him.

He grabbed your wrist pinning it beside your head peppering kisses all over your clavicle and chest.

“So beautiful” he’d mutter here and there. Your back arched into him when you felt him suck on your nipple. You took a sharp breath when he softly bit it.

You pushed on his head. Trying to get him to give you what you really needed.

He released your nipple with a pop. “What? You want somethin'?” he drawled out and you knew you were in trouble.

You pathetically nodded your head, not so subtly pushing on his shoulder.

He finally gave in. Moving down while leaving open mouthed kisses on your stomach. He pulled down your panties, spreading your legs to settle between them. You tried to grab onto the short hair on the back of his head to brace yourself.

He chose to make you wait some more by leaving kisses on the inside of your thighs. You whined loudly when you felt him smirk against your thigh.

“Alright alright” He finally gave in taking in the sight of your pussy. He could stare at it all he wants later he needed to tend at your needs right now.

He gave you a few kitten licks, exploring to see what you liked best. He pushed his tongue inside of you licking it up towards you clit. He pushed you down on the bed to stop you from squirming, not too harshly he needed to remember he was much stronger than you. A thought that only fuelled his lust.

You came all over his tongue holding onto your pillow clutching it tightly in your hands. You screamed and thrashed for a few minutes before slowly coming down from your high.

You jerked a bit when you felt his fingers tracing your entrance. You opened your eyes to see him looming over you staring at your face. You moaned when you felt his finger inside you. He pumped it in and out of you before adding another.

“Gotta get you ready doll” You whined again at his words. You never thought your innocent Brooklyn boy could so easily turn your putty in his hands.

You bit your lip staring into his eyes. You squeezed his bicep stopping him.

“I wanna come on you” You mumbled shyly wrapping your hand around his length. You didn’t get a good look at it yet. But it felt long and thick. Bigger than anything you had put inside you. You stroked it slowly.

“Shit” He cursed dropping his head in your neck. “I don’t have a condom” He groaned when your strokes became faster. He pulled at your hand to still you or he’d come on the spot.

“It’s ok. I’ve been on the pill for years” you said stroking his hair as he sucked at your neck.

“Are you sure?” he asked again aligning his dick to your pussy.

“Yes I’m sure. Fuck me” He kneeled between your legs spreading them a bit wider. You took a moment to look at him. His defined abs, bulging biceps, hard pink nipples (you needed to get your mouth on them) you breathed shakily bracing yourself.

He pushed his tip in slowly entering you. His eyes fixated on you, to make sure you weren’t in pain.

You closed your eyes when you felt your pussy burn at the stretch of him. A most delicious welcome burn. You looked back at him to see him staring down at where you both were joined. He finally pushed in completely bottoming out.

He draped himself over you again, needing to be closer to you. He snaked a hand under your waist to pull you into him.

You grabbed onto his bicep and shoulder as he slowly rocked into you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear before sneaking a hand between your legs to play with your clit.

Soon enough you were on the brink of your second orgasm. Between his hand on your clit and his cock inside you, you couldn’t hold on much longer. The knot in your stomach tightening before you released clenching around him. You bite on his shoulder sharply to keep yourself from shouting. You didn’t need any noise complaints from his neighbours.

He came right after you. Feeling you clench around him his thrusts became hard and sloppy before he spilled inside you. He collapsed dropping some of his weight on you nuzzling your neck.

You smiled biting his ear. You felt warm and tingly with his cum inside you. You whined when you felt him pull out of you. His cum spilling out from your pussy. He told you he’d be right back.

He returned with a washcloth gently cleaning you up. He knew how sensitive you must be from how red and raw your pussy looked. He cleaned himself with the same cloth before tossing it in his hamper.

He settled down beside you pulling you into his arms. He kissed your forehead.

“Good night” He said stroking your shoulder.

“Good night” you drifted off into a dreamless slumber. He sure knew how to make a girl feel better.

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thebestpersonherelovesbucky · 4 years

Text

Hidden Stars

Summary: A year ago, biker and mechanic Steve Rogers reluctantly did a repair job for Brock Rumlow, a member of the biker gang, Hydra. As a bonus for a job well done, Rumlow insisted on sending his boyfriend, Bucky Barnes, over for a night. What Steve never expected was to fall hopelessly in love with the guy.

((this can totally be read as is but it’s technically a continuation of an earlier biker au of mine which can be found here:��Part One Part Two))

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 3.2k

Tags: abuse, hurt/comfort, pining, hopeful ending

written for @captain-rogers-beard‘s Flex Your Writing Muscles Challenge

Prompt:A late night bike ride under the stars

The text comes in shortly after six in the morning. Steve’s phone buzzing on the nightstand wakes him. He groans softly and feels for it without picking his head off the pillow. Several things fall as he does.

When he finally grabs it, Steve grunts some more, smacks his lips together, and figures it’s nothing more than a group text from Tony or Sam. Maybe even just a stupid telemarketing text. Something about him winning a gift card from Amazon.

It’s not.

It’s anything but.

It’s from Bucky, and Steve is suddenly wide awake.

His breath catches as he shoots upright and quickly clears the screen, fumbling with his passcode three times before he finally gets it. Steve, breathing so hard he might have an asthma attack, clicks on the message to read it.

Can we see each other tonight? Midnight?

The answer, of course, is yes. Even if Steve did have plans, which he doesn’t, he’d cancel them. He hasn’t seen Bucky in six weeks. Not since their last trip upstate to the flea market.

They have a complicated relationship. Complicated in every sense and meaning of the word. All because Brock Rumlow aka Crossbones, a higher-up in the Hydra biker gang, walked into Steve’s garage with his bike last year, and thought Steve did such a good job, that he offered him a bonus--a night with his boyfriend.

Steve hadn’t wanted to take that job. He’d spent the past few years building up a decent reputation, converting the garage of his family home into a business after the sudden death of his mother. The last thing he wanted or needed was for the local biker gangs thinking he was readily available for their use.

Luckily, that didn’t happen. Even if it did, Steve wouldn’t change a thing. Without that job, he’d’ve never met Bucky.

Steve is fairly sure he fell in love with Bucky that night. A few hours. That’s all it took to fall head over heels for the kind, gentle, witty, beautiful boyfriend of that lowlife creep, Crossbones. If there’s anyone less deserving to have Bucky by their side, it’s him. To be honest, Steve isn’t quite sure he’s all that deserving either--what with the way he’s closed himself off from his closest friends after the accident--but, at the very least, he’d never mistreat him the way Brock Rumlow does.

He’s controlling and manipulative and cruel, and even though Bucky won’t admit it, Steve is sure that he gets physical with him. He’s seen the evidence--fading bruises, the way Bucky sometimes flinches if Steve lifts his hand too quickly, the excuses he makes for his behavior.

This past year, Steve has tried everything he could think of to get Bucky to leave him. It won’t be easy, he knows that. Leaving Hydra isn’t as simple as walking out the door but Steve is very willing to risk everything to help Bucky do it. Because, yes, he’s that worth it.

Only Bucky doesn’t see it. Or, rather, he’s too afraid to.

So they’ve kept their relationship a secret. Completely. Brock Rumlow has no idea about their clandestine meetings. Stolen moments once a month where they ride upstate together to go to that flea market. A night hidden in heat and passion, and few others snuck in here or there when they can manage.

But then, two weeks ago, on the Sunday they were meant to meet for their monthly ride upstate, Bucky didn’t show.

Sure something horrible had happened, Steve sent message after message, panicked and terrified. After two days of worrying, he finally got a response. Just one thing.

Don’t ever contact me again.

Then, nothing.

Not until this text this morning, and Steve doesn’t know if he should be worried or excited.

Midnight can’t get here fast enough.

Which, of course, only means that the entire day drags. Seconds tick by like minutes. Hours go by like days.

Steve doesn’t hear from Bucky again and he’s actually too nervous to try texting him first. He tries throwing himself into his work. He’s got a few quickies today. One bike here for an oil change. One for an inspection. Another that needs some more attention since it’s sputtering. It’s hot today. Humid. The air conditioner in the wall cools his garage off a little, but since he keeps the door open during business hours, it’s not exactly refreshing.

Sweat drips down Steve’s face as he works. Dirt and grease stick to him more today because of it. When he gets a little dizzy, Steve realizes that it’s well past noon and he’s had nothing to eat other two slices of toast with strawberry jam right after he woke up. Dehydrating and ending up in the hospital instead of meeting with Bucky is not what he as planned for today, so he takes a lunch break and sits inside to cool off a bit.

Of course, cooling off just makes all that sweat and filth and grime stick to him even more. Steve doesn’t really mind. He never really did. There’s something almost comforting in his work getting him so dirty. Like physical proof of what he’s done.

Before going back to work, Steve checks his phone. He pretends that he’s checking for any work calls or one of his friends--since he’s been trying hard to reconnect with them this year--but he’s really hoping for another message from Bucky. When he sees none, he sighs and heads back to work.

Once he’s finished with the business side of his garage, it’s still only four o’clock so he focuses on his own project. Fixing up a Harley Davidson-WLA, the very same they used during World War Two.

Not that that holds his attention for very long since all he can think of is those amazing moments he’s shared with Bucky sitting here next to him. Them working on their bikes together. There’s something intimate and sensual about that. The way Bucky’ll let him work on his, handing him tools and getting his hands dirty right along with him. Working on another person’s bike, Steve knows, is a very personal and private thing. He’s honored that other avid bikers trust him with theirs, but Bucky’s trust makes him glow.

Before Steve knows it, he’s sitting on his couch staring at an off television screen. Nerves tap dance through his belly, fast and offbeat. He’s already showered--scrubbed off the grease and grime as best he could. At least he doesn’t smell. Well, maybe of motor oil but he doesn’t think Bucky’ll mind very much.

By the time it’s eleven, Steve can take it anymore. It’ll only take about twenty minutes at the most to reach their usual meeting spot under the bridge, but he’d rather be on his bike, be outside, watch the stars while waiting for Bucky than pacing back and forth in his living room.

The fresh air actually does do him some good. The feel of the wind rushing by him, the world nothing but a blur of colors. Clears his senses, so instead of heading straight to the bridge, Steve decides on just taking a ride to keep his mind focused on the world from the view of his bike.

When he finally does get to the bridge, it’s just a few minutes past minutes and Bucky’s already there. He’s leaning on the guard rail, looking out across the Hudson River. He doesn’t turn when Steve gets there. Not even after he dismounts next to Bucky’s bike and goes over to him.

“Hey,” Steve greets as he approaches. “Bucky.”

Bucky sort of turns a little more away from him. He’s wearing his leather jacket and his hair is actually down instead of pulled back in his normal, messy bun. From what Steve can see of his face, he’s chewing on one of his toothpicks.

“Hey, Steve.”

“I was, uh, I was worried,” he admits, not moving any closer to Bucky though he sure as hell wants to. “When you didn’t show and then...”

“Yeah.” Bucky sniffs. “Sorry ‘bout that. Things got...a little hectic.”

“You don’t have to--” Steve clears his throat which is suddenly too thick with emotion. “Are you all right?”

Only answering that with a nod, Bucky, who’s been holding himself tense and rigid, allows his hand to slide on the railing toward Steve’s. They touch, just barely, but it’s enough to burn.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Bucky murmurs just over the soft blow of the wind.”I just...needed to get out for a bit but I didn’t wanna be alone.”

“Okay,” Steve answers, growing more concerned with each passing second. “You’re not alone. I’m here. If you need to...to talk--Bucky, why won’t you look at me?”

Yanking his hand back as though worried Steve might force him to turn his way--he wouldn’t, of course--Bucky wraps his arms around himself like he’s desperate to keep from falling apart.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he whispers, mostly to himself but Steve can clearly hear. “If he finds out...he’ll kill you.”

“Who?” Steve asks. “Brock? Is that what you’re worried about? Did something happen with him?”

Head lowering with a shake and a dark chuckle, Bucky lets out a disgruntled sigh and fully turns his back to Steve.

“He doesn’t know,” Bucky murmurs. “About us, I mean. That Sunday I was supposed to meet you, he ended up...wanting me...elsewhere.”

That could mean a lot of things. For all Steve knows, it just means that Rumlow wanted to spend the day with him. It could also mean that Rumlow sent him to someone the same way he sent him to Steve that first time. Either way, whatever Bucky had done that day made it impossible for him to answer any of Steve’s texts.

“I was so worried,” Bucky continues, “that he’d notice all the texts I was getting that day. He didn’t but...”

“That’s why you told me not to contact you again.”

It’s an assumption, but Bucky sighs again and nods, so Steve takes that as meaning he’s right.

“I’m sorry, Steve, I just didn’t know what else to do. If he hurts you--”

“I don’t care if he hurts me,” Steve interrupts. “I care about you, Bucky.” He might not respond well to Steve saying how much he loves him, not now, maybe not ever, but Steve needs to make him see how much he means to him. “If anything ever happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

This time, Bucky scoffs as though morbidly amused by what Steve’s said. Like he can’t imagine that could ever possibly be true. As if too tired and exhausted to keep arguing about this with him, Bucky spins around and tries something else.

“I can’t possibly be worth that to you, Steve.”

Steve knows that Bucky’s just said something to him. Something about lack of knowing self-worth and Steve’s feelings for him, and that’s important. It’s all important. But at the moment, all that Steve hears are the bruises screaming at him across Bucky’s face.

His right eye is swollen. His lips are busted. His forehead is dotted with bruising as well.

“Jesus, Bucky!” Steve exclaims, and he knows it’s too rough...it’s too loud... too much...and Bucky flinches from the words and volume. “What happened?!”

All the color drains from Bucky’s face. It’s almost like he’d forgotten, just for a moment in his doubt of Steve’s feelings for him, that he’d intended to keep this hidden.

He takes a hurried step back--maybe out of fear, maybe out of something else--and shakes his head.

“It’s nothing!” he cries. “It was my fault, I know better than to mouth off to him, I should’t’ve...” He stops there like he’s his words’ve hit a brick wall and bursts into tears. “He’s never...”Bucky heaves in a big gulp of air and staggers on the exhale. “Not like this...”

Steve, not sure if it’s better to reach out and hold Bucky or not even try to touch him, is ready to tear across the entire world if he has to so he can rip apart Brock Rumlow piece by piece. But, right now, Bucky’s more important.

“Bucky, it’s...” How to comfort him? With big, strong arms? Soft words? Steve doesn’t know what might make this better and what might make this worse. It’s a fine line between the two. “It’s not your fault. No matter what happened, it’s not your fault. It’s his. A-and...and you’re safe. Right now, you’re safe. He can’t hurt you. Not when you’re here with me.”

Hoping to offer more reassurance than that, Steve opens his arms. He stays where he is, though. Wants this to be Bucky’s choice.

Bucky, sniffling and still teary-eyed, dives into his embrace and holds onto him so tightly that Steve can feel him trembling.

“I was gonna leave,” he weeps into Steve’s shirt. “I had a bag packed. Hidden in the back of the closet. He found it. And he...” Did what he did. Steve gets it. “He said if I ever tried again he’d break both my legs. Oh, Steve, I’m so sorry, he’ll kill you if he finds me with you but I’ve been so scared and I needed to get out for a little bit so when he left tonight I just...I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steve whispers over and over. “It’s okay, Bucky, you’re okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m here, baby, I’m here.”

They stand there together, with Bucky tucked in Steve’s arm, for an unmeasurable amount of time. The world goes on around them. Cars moving over the bridge. Clouds passing overhead. People out for a late night stroll. Here, with Bucky, times stands still.

Eventually, Bucky’s tears dry and his breaths even and even his trembling comes to a stop. He doesn’t move, though, so Steve keeps him in his arms, gently petting a hand over him every now and then.

“Bucky,” Steve whispers a long while later, “Bucky, please, let me help you.” Already rejecting the idea with fevered shakes of his head, Bucky starts to pull away. “Please, Bucky,” Steve implores, “please. I have...I have friends who can help get you away. Get you somewhere safe. I promise, he’ll never hurt you again.”

Though he’s pulled away, Bucky remains holding onto Steve’s arms, as though not willing to part from him. He still shakes his head.

“N-no. No, Steve, I can’t. I...” He looks across the river. “Just...ride with me? Tonight? Please, we can go to that little bed and breakfast we stayed at right after Christmas, remember?” Bucky, eyes filling again with tears, gives him a weak, unconvincing smile and a nod. “Please? I...I know I can’t leave him, but I can’t go back there tonight and he’s gone for the rest of the week. Please, say you’ll come with me.”

“Bucky...”

“Please.” His voice is so soft. So pleading, and it rips Steve’s heart in two. “Just a late night bike ride under the stars and a good night’s sleep. That’s all I need. Please, Steve.”

“O-okay,” Steve agrees. He’ll agree to absolutely anything to comfort Bucky right now. “Okay, we’ll go. We’ll go right now, baby.”

The way Bucky smiles at him now, so hopeful and desperate, it makes Steve want to drop to his knees and beg him to let him help. That won’t do now. He’s not going to listen to any of Steve’s good-intentioned begging. Not his offers to help him. Right now, the only thing Steve can do to help is bringing him some place to rest. A place to feel safe.

That, Steve’ll do.

A late night bike ride under the stars. The world fading to just the two of them as they ride separately but together. Last-minute check-ins at a quaint, little bed and breakfast that, fortunately, still had a vacancy.

“Thank you, Steve,” Bucky whispers when Steve locks the door behind them. “I know you didn’t really wanna come here. I’m sorry I made you.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, Bucky,” Steve murmurs, approaching slowly, cautiously, so that he doesn’t startle him. “I wanted to come with you.”

“No.” Bucky shakes his head. “You didn’t. But thanks for comin’ anyway. I’m...” He points over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’m gonna take a shower. You won’t...go anywhere, will you?”

“Mm-mm.” Steve sits down on the king-sized bed. “I’ll be right here.”

When Steve hears the water turn on and the shower curtain pull closed, he grabs his phone and, despite the late hour, calls his oldest friend in the world, Peggy Carter.

She works with victims of domestic abuse. Both counseling and trying to help them escape toxic relationships. Maybe she can give Steve some advice.

Amazingly, after only three rings, she answers.

“Hello? Steven? Is everything all right?”

“Uh. hey, Peg, I’m so sorry for calling so late,” he says. “I’m okay. But...”

After listening to Steve hurry and tell her everything he knows and making her aware of the current situation, Peggy’s first piece of advice is plain and simple.

“Okay, first of all, you need to keep calm. That’s most important right now.”

Because they have a limited amount of time to talk before Bucky gets out of the shower, Peggy does her best to help. She tells him to remain supportive and be friendly but not preachy and not to blame him for anything that’s happened.

“Be open to just listening to him,” she says. “He needs to know that you’re a safe person to talk to. Don’t criticize. You can offer him my number or any other abuse hotlines this way he can talk to a professional anonymously. You have to remember, Steve.” The way her voice changes slightly is proof that this part is important. “You can’t make him do anything. This needs to be his choice. If he’s not ready and you try to force him, you run the risk of him closing off from you altogether.”

“Right,” Steve whispers just as the water turns off. If he’s going to help Bucky, he needs to listen to Peggy and do what she says no matter how difficult it might be. “I...I gotta go, Peg. Thanks for your help.”

“Anytime, my darling,” she says. “I hope to hear from either of you soon.”

Steve would give a better farewell, but the door to the bathroom starts to open, so he quickly ends the call. Not quite quick enough, though. Towel around his waist and locks of wet hair hanging down to his chin, Bucky glances at the phone in Steve’s hand and then up to his face. Twice.

“Who...” His lips set in a line. “Who were you on the phone with?”

“Just a friend,” Steve tells him honestly. “Peggy. Don’t worry. She doesn’t know where we are or who you are or anything like that, I promise.”

At first, Steve’s not sure if Bucky believes him. Looks as though, for a moment at least, that he’s considering making a run for it. He doesn’t. Instead, he heaves a sigh and, after plucking a toothpick from his jacket’s pocket, sits down next to Steve.

He turns that toothpick over in his hands for a moment or two before finally sticking it in his mouth.

They’re quiet as they sit together. After a few minutes of silence, Steve slowly reaches up and sweeps some of Bucky’s hair away from his face. He leans in and presses a tender kiss to his shoulder. Over soft skin covered in beautiful tattoos. Gently, he coaxes Bucky’s chin from side to side so that he could get a better look at him to make sure those bruises haven’t gotten any worse. He might wanna get him some ice for that eye.

Steve cups Bucky’s cheek and when he does, Bucky’s eyes softly fall shut. He hums and leans into the touch.

“Do you wanna talk about it, baby?”

Eyes opening again, Bucky, placing his own hand over the top of Steve’s to keep it there, shakes his head.

“No. Please, don’t make me.”

“Oh, no,” Steve whispers and breathes a kiss to Bucky’s brow. “Never. I just wanted to offer.”

“I’m just...real tired, Steve. I wanna go to sleep.”

Steve nods and peels back the covers. Bucky, still only in that towel, crawls beneath them, tugging on the sleeve of Steve’s T-shirt to bring him along. Steve obliges and gets into the bed with him.

As soon as he’s settled, Bucky curls against him with his head practically in his lap. Steve pets a hand over his head. Whispers soft words. Things about how he’s safe. He’s here with him. No one can hurt him now.

And Bucky, Steve thinks, falls asleep within minutes.

Steve, on the other hand, stays awake. Just in case Bucky wakes and needs him. He’ll stay awake all night if he has to.

And he’ll still be here in the morning.

Whatever the sun might bring with it, Steve will see this through until Bucky’s away and safe from Brock Rumlow.

Even if that takes him the rest of his life.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #biker au #flex your writing muscles challenge #kellsficlet

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suitofvibraniumarmor · 4 years

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RomCom Writing Challenge Masterlist

I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get this list up! I’ve included entries from all of the fandoms I included in the challenge, so you have options to read whatever you’d like. Thanks to everyone who participated!!

If I missed your fic, please feel free to send it over to me and I will get it added! Additionally, if you post yours up after this list goes up, just make sure to tag me and I’ll get it added!

Supernatural

The Proposal | Jensen Ackles x Reader | @katymacsupernatural

Marvel

10 Things I Hate About You | Bucky Barnes x Reader | @harley-sunday

Look Who’s Talking | Thor x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader | @oh-its-nova

Never Been Kissed | Stucky | @captain-rogers-beard

Angel in Silk | Steve Rogers x Prostitute!Reader | @romaxnogersav

Forever Sweethearts | Clint x Natasha, Natasha x Steve, Clint x Reader | @averyrogers83

John Krasinski & Characters

Notting Hill | John Krasinksi x Reader | @justformyself2

PS I Love You | John Krasinski x Reader | @justformyself2

Other

My Big, Fat, Brazilian Wedding | Henry Cavill x Reader | @musings-sans-muse

#romcom writing challenge #masterlist

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iwantthedean · 4 years

Text

RomCom Writing Challenge Masterlist

If I missed your fic, please feel free to send it over to me and I will get it added! Additionally, if you post yours up after this list goes up, just make sure to tag me and I’ll get it added!

Supernatural

The Proposal | Jensen Ackles x Reader | @katymacsupernatural

Marvel

10 Things I Hate About You | Bucky Barnes x Reader | @harley-sunday

Look Who’s Talking | Thor x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader | @oh-its-nova

Never Been Kissed | Stucky | @captain-rogers-beard

Angel in Silk | Steve Rogers x Prostitute!Reader | @romaxnogersav

Forever Sweethearts | Clint x Natasha, Natasha x Steve, Clint x Reader | @averyrogers83

John Krasinski & Characters

Notting Hill | John Krasinksi x Reader | @justformyself2

PS I Love You | John Krasinski x Reader | @justformyself2

Other

My Big, Fat, Brazilian Wedding | Henry Cavill x Reader | @musings-sans-muse

#romcom writing challenge #masterlist

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lullabieswrappedinlies · 4 years

Text

RomCom Writing Challenge Masterlist

If I missed your fic, please feel free to send it over to me and I will get it added! Additionally, if you post yours up after this list goes up, just make sure to tag me and I’ll get it added!

Supernatural

The Proposal | Jensen Ackles x Reader | @katymacsupernatural

Marvel

10 Things I Hate About You | Bucky Barnes x Reader | @harley-sunday

Look Who’s Talking | Thor x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader | @oh-its-nova

Never Been Kissed | Stucky | @captain-rogers-beard

Angel in Silk | Steve Rogers x Prostitute!Reader | @romaxnogersav

John Krasinski & Characters

Notting Hill | John Krasinksi x Reader | @justformyself2

PS I Love You | John Krasinski x Reader | @justformyself2

Other

My Big, Fat, Brazilian Wedding | Henry Cavill x Reader | @musings-sans-muse

#romcom writing challenge #masterlist

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harley-sunday · 4 years

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A Good Man Goes to War - Masterlist

Summary: Starts right after Civil War. Steve Rogers is done being Captain America and quite happy living a quiet life in a safe house somewhere in Canada. Until Thanos goes after the Infinity Stones. What happens when a good man goes to war?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC [f] but could be read as reader insert.

Warnings: Language. Character death (sort of, anyway). NSFW maybe once.

Status: Complete

Entry for @browngirlmagic‘s writing challenge. My prompt was “Demons run when a good man goes to war.”

Prologue - published April 2020

Part 01 - published April 2020

Part 02 - published April 2020

Part 03 - published April 2020

Epilogue - published April 2020

#Steve Rogers x reader #Steve Rogers fanfic #ayesha1kwritingchallenge #Harley Sunday x Steve Rogers #Captain America

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gokinjeespot · 7 years

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off the rack #1149

Monday, January 30, 2017

It's the Chinese Year of the Rooster folks and there's a cock in the White House. We are living in interesting times indeed. I am trying my best not to get riled up by the d-bag but it's difficult. The empathy I feel for others means I cannot ignore the affect the changes have on everybody. I just hope we all get through these difficult times relatively unscathed.

I'm going to have a fun Sunday on February 5. I'll be at the Walkley Arena for the Capital Trade Show where my partner Chris and I will be flogging old comic books. Then it's Super Bowl 51 with two gun slinging quarterbacks. I am cheering for a high scoring affair.

Civil War II: The Oath #1 - Nick Spencer (writer) Rod Reis, Raffaele Ienco, Szymon Kudranski & Dono Sanchez-Almara (art) VC's Chris Eliopoulos (letters). Didn't see that coming. While it makes sense to appoint Captain America as the new Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (again) the surprise is that I don't think it's Steve Rogers under the mask. I don't particularly like the new political landscape that the Marvel U is headed towards but it does make for some easy enemies for the good guys to fight with. Nick put in a lot of rah, rah patriotism in this book so it was a tough slog trying to get through it but the payoff at the end is worth it.

Kamandi Challenge #1 - Part One: Dan Didio (writer) Keith Giffen (pencils) Scott Koblish (inks) Hi-Fi (colours) Clem Robins (letters) Part Two: Dan Abnett (writer) Dale Eaglesham (art) Hi-Fi (colours) Clem Robins (letters). He's the last boy on Earth and he's going on a wild adventure to find his parents. One of Jack Kirby's creations is getting a round robin of comic book creators to excite fans like never before. Each part of the story will be done by a different team that will end with a cliffhanger that the next team must find a way to resolve. I have a nagging feeling that this stunt has been done before but I can't remember when so I'm going to tag along to see who does what. I'm not a fan of Kamandi but I want to see who all are going to be involved on the creative side.

Loose Ends #1 - Jason Latour (writer) Chris Brunner (art) Rico Renzi (colours). The cover says that this 4-issue mini is a southern crime romance. They got that right. We're looking at a trailer dwelling war vet whose friend gets him mixed up in running drugs. You can expect that the vet and the friend get into a heap of trouble and they do. I like how Sonny and Rej each wind up where they do at the end of this first issue so you bet I'm going to keep reading. Not much romance so far but I'm sure Jason will get to that.

Star Wars #27 - Jason Aaron (writer) Salvador Larroca (art) Edgar Delgado (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Yay Yoda. Root for him I will.

Batgirl #7 - Hope Larson (writer) Chris Wildgoose (art) Mat Lopes (colours) Deron Bennett (letters). Part 1 of "Son of Penguin" introduces Ethan Cobblepot and I don't care if there is no reference to him anywhere else in the DCU because he's going to be a great adversary for Barbara Gordon. I like how Chris draws her older than Rafael Albuquerque did. This is going to be fun.

Briggs Land #6 - Brian Wood (writer) Mack Chater (art) Lee Loughridge & Jeremy Colwell (colours) Nate Piekos (letters). I really like Grace Briggs. The risks that she is taking will hopefully keep her people safe. Brian has crafted a story fit for cable TV.

Totally Awesome Hulk #15 - Greg Pak (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Nolan Woodward (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Greg continues to feature heroes of the Asian persuasion in this story about Amadeus hanging out with Jake Oh, Kamala Khan, Cindy Moon, Shang-Chi, and Jimmy Woo. It does play on some stereotypes but I think it's okay because they're true for these guys.

Odyssey of the Amazons #1 - Kevin Grevioux (writer) Ryan Benjamin (pencils) Richard Friend (inks) Tony Washington & Tony Avina (colours) Saida Temofonte (letters). This 6-issue mini has a lot of women but not a wonder one in sight. Kevin features Diana's sister Amazons in a tale worthy of Homer. If you like classic sword and sorcery, you'll like this.

Dead Inside #2 - John Arcudi (writer) Tony Fejzula (art) Andre May (colours) Joe Sabino (letters). The plot thickens like congealed blood and murder suspects start to emerge. Linda has plenty to deal with inside the prison but she's surprised when she gets home after work by a sight I did not expect to see. This mystery is crazy good.

Inhumans vs. X-Men #3 - Charles Soule & Jeff Lemire (writer) Javier Garron (art) Andres Mossa & Jay David Ramos (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). There are three more issue to this mini but it seems to me that Charles and Jeff have already come up with a solution to the Terrigen cloud that would end the war. The mutant Forge has built a machine that can collect the Terrigen gas and compress it into a solid in this issue. Wouldn't that solve the problem of the gas killing the mutants? Works for me.

Justice League vs. Suicide Squad #6 - Joshua Williamson (writer) Howard Porter (art) Alex Sinclair (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). All is well that ends well. Both teams join forces to defeat Eclipso and Max Lord is at the mercy of Amanda Waller. Batman sees the light and gathers another team together to fight evil forces. Get ready for a new Justice League of America #1 hitting the racks on February 22. DC is sure spreading Bats pretty thin these days.

Skybourne #3 - Frank Cho (writer & artist) Marcio Menyz (colours) Ed Dukeshire (letters). The identity of the bad guy was a nice surprise. I like Frank's comic books because they're simple stories about good versus evil that are beautifully drawn.

Hulk #2 - Mariko Tamaki (writer) Nico Leon & Dalibor Talajic (art) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Waiting for Jennifer to Hulk out is one of the things I like about the new book. She has a lot more self control than I have. The scary thing about the eventuality of her losing control is that this new Hulk will be an uncontrollable creature of rage but we'll have to wait and see what happens. Until then I'm enjoying Jen's life so far.

Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps #13 - Robert Venditti (writer) V Ken Marion (pencils) Paul Neary & Dexter Vines (inks) Alex Sollazzo (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). Now that the planet Xudar has been saved, what now? It's time for a bedtime story that's what. This is a nice interlude issue before we launch into the next story. I've been enjoying this team book now that my loyalty to the Avengers has waned. We'll see if Robert can keep me hooked with his next adventure.

Saga #42 - Brian K. Vaughn (writer) Fiona Staples (art) Fonografiks (letters). And fade to black. No, really. It's hiatus time again but this issue didn't leaving me screaming profanities about the long wait until the next issue hits the racks. There is a new character introduced who I will be very interested to find out more about.

Doctor Strange #16 - Jason Aaron (writer) Chris Bachalo with Cory Smith (art) Al Vey, John Livesay, Victor Olazaba, & Tim Townsend (inks) Antonio Fabela & Java Tartaglia with Chris Bachalo (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Dormammu is finally going to get his chance to kill Doctor Strange after he has been weakened by his fight with the Empirikul. Jason does find a neat way to save Stephen however. The next bit of nastiness involves someone close to the Doc. Oboy.

Wonder Woman #15 - Greg Rucka (writer) Liam Sharp (art) Laura Martin (colours) Jodi Wynne (letters). Part 1 of "The Truth" finds Diana in a mental hospital. How she got there has yet to be explained but I'm sure I can handle it.

Punisher #8 - Becky Cloonan (writer) Laura Braga with Iolanda Zanfardino (art) Frank Martin (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). That little old lady toting the double barrelled shotgun from last issue is named Ethel. She looks scary but she's not what you think. The change in art took some getting used to but it isn't bad enough to make me bench this book. I do have a couple of complaints though. If you're going to call a motorcycle a Harley, don't show what looks like a BMW logo on the gas tank. Also, draw the bad guy from the chest up when Frank says that he opened up his guts, not a full body shot that clearly shows an abdomen without any wounds at all. I don't know if the art had to be rushed after Steve Dillon passed away unexpectedly but that's just shoddy editing.

Action Comics #972 - Dan Jurgens (writer) Stephen Segovia (pencils) Art Thibert (inks) Ulises Arreola (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Trust Dan to come up with a non-violent way to stop Lex from being executed by the bad guys. It also served to show what possible futures are in store for this new Superman. DC has managed to revive my interest in this iconic character.

Daredevil #16 - Charles Soule (writer) Goran Sudzuka (art) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). We find out why Daredevil put out a hit on himself to lure out Bullseye. There's some soul searching this issue which leads into the next storyline. I liked how Charles sets it up.

Detective Comics #949 - James Tynion IV & Marguerite Bennett (writers) Ben Oliver & Szymon Kudranski (art) Ben Oliver, Gabe Eltaeb & Hi-Fi (colours) Marilyn Patrizio (letters). The finale of "Batwoman Begins" is a very good prelude to Batwoman's solo book which hits the racks on February 15. It looks like James and Marguerite are going to have a Raymond Reddington and Agent Keen thing going on between Kate and her dad. That's got me interested.

Infamous Iron Man #4 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Alex Maleev (art) Matt Hollingsworth (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Brian must have a thing for mother and son stories. He did it in International Iron Man where he introduced Tony's biological mother. Now he's showing us Victor's mom. I really do believe that Doom has reformed and I hope he stays a good guy.

Spider-Man/Deadpool: Monsters Unleashed - Joshua Corin (writer) Tigh Walker (art) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). The boys save Toronto eh.

Thanos #3 - Jeff Lemire (writer) Mike Deodato (art) Frank Martin (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). It's the Imperial Guard of the Shi'ar versus Thanos. A perfect opportunity to give a history lesson on the life of the Mad Titan.

Spider-Woman #15 - Dennis Hopeless (writer) Veronica Fish (art) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). Jessica subdues the new Porcupine and finds out who put the hit out on her friend Roger. Now she's gunning for the Hobgoblin but he's protected by an army of super villains. I hope little Gerry doesn't become an orphan.

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