#He swears

[bearotonin-international]

“Please just open your window so we can talk about Polar Bear Sunday” — Minky

[cookieandpumpkins]

CAN U DRAW Y/N GIVING WEBTTORE A KISS PLS??

___ scared the aranara out of webttore

[brainr0tcntrl]

Boat boys

[thelaithlyworm]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling Characters: Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Zhang Qiling's Amnesia Issues, Ancient Building Under Dark Mountain (DMBJ), domesticity dmbj style Summary:

A trap, a long wait, a lesson in stillness.

[justalittleobsessed]

ReCon Mikey from Cabin 6 walks up and judges your character(s) for their crimes! What will you do?

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

Mikey puts his hands behind his back, smiling. "I haven't committed any crimes. I'm an angel. It's in the name and everything. Michel-angel-o."

Of course, Mikey is a big fat liar. As a matter of fact, going around and pranking the counselors has unleashed a beast in him. He is a criminal who will keep committing prank crimes.

His crimes to date:

Selling everything in the Counselor's cabin

Doing a fake cat wedding and making the counselors foot the bill and pick everything up

Making and playing a playlist of extremely cringey songs and cycling through them in front of the counselors and then rick rolling them

Doing a classic "Made ya look!" prank

Helping Space Tour Leon paint the counselor's cabin green

Yeah, he's been an absolute menace this event. "All of these kids going around and committing prank crimes... and real crimes." He shakes his head in disappointment. "A shame. But I am innocent." He assures, "Totally and completely."

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

[padfoot0216]

TK, giving Carlos a gift - But come on Carlos I like giving you things.

Carlos - I don’t like accepting things.

TK - But it makes me happy.

Carlos - Happiness is overrated.

[paintedhyenadogs]

Dark and Gritty Scooby Doo show, but it's just Mystery incorporated with a slight bit more blood, and like 1-3 swear passes every 7 episodes maybe.

[askakaza]

Akaza, you are the best uppermoon in my eyes. Even if you are not number one in the ranking

Why, thank you.

[sassenach082]

It cracks me up that Eleanor and Bill met their future son-in-law and didn’t even realize it at the time.

I wouldn't go that far, nonnie.....

Eleanor, internally: Oh, he's so cute. Oh and he's polite! OH AND HE STOOD UP TO BILL-

Eleanor, internally: yep I'm adopting him and that's that

Eleanor, looking from Pete to Tom, squinting: wait a second-

Bill, internally raging like a bull: THIS MOTHERFU-

[tesalicious2]

Everyone knows about the swear Jar thing and know that Jason has a bad potty mouth. But I also headcanon that he will argue his way out of it so hard.

“Son of a bitch”

“Son of a is a title and statement of a persons position in relation to another. Bitch is a femal dog that generally isn’t derogatory towards that dog. Claiming it’s a swear makes it derogatory and therefore has a negative connotation”

“Holy shit”

“Shit is another word for dung which shouldn’t be punished for saying. Normalizing body functions is very important.”

“Asshole”

“It’s again a body part.”

“What the actual hell”

“He’ll is a place that dead sinners go, where I will go. It is similar to damn in that it is simply a destination or place with a purpose.”

“Holy crap! Suck a Dick”

“Crap is similar to shit. I was talking about the person Dick, but either way, saying it’s a curse would count as body shaming.”

[ryusxnka]

" it ' s a beautiful day , captain ; won ' t you join me for a stroll ? " she ' s got a parasol and a small picnic basket . seems the invitation is not as sudden as she made it out to be .

H e wants to decline her invitation. In spite of the day's weather being agreeable, the heat was genuinely distant from reaching such assessment. He momentarily peers at the basket in her hand, nape inclining leftward.

  " ... Fine. " he concurs. " After all, if you choke, you'll need someone to assist you."

[haroldhighballjordan]

sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”

So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.

And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.

[strawberricakeandpie]

Laios faces greatest hits

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[arsenicpanda]

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)

[padfoot0216]

TK trying to convince Carlos to watch a really bad tv show.

TK - Come on Carlos just watch the show with me.

Carlos - No.

TK - I swear if you watch it with me I won’t make you lunch but if you don’t you get lunch in a real lunch box.

Carlos - I would rather kill myself in the 126 bathroom than eat your lunch.

TK - Than just watch the show.

Carlos - 126 bathroom. Me.