#Homestuck has ruined how I see ships

[pitofpurple]

I’ve finally realized why I don’t like most Shadowpeach Fanfiction

Shadowpeach doesn’t really feel like Shadowpeach if the two are in a healthy and happy relationship. It doesn’t feel right if they call each other cute pet names without shame and cuddle at night because Shadowpeach is built on betrayal, pain, and horrible understanding. They hate each other so much for what the other did and yet they can’t leave each other alone. They know each other so well but have no clue how to communicate in anyway that isn’t violence. Macaque is utterly obsessed with Sun Wukong and always has been, the only thing that changed is the type of obsession. He used to see Wukong as his sun-his everything and now he sees him as his killer-the person who ruined his life

Sun Wukong looks at Macaque and sees his past, the part of him that’s angry, dangerous, and uncontrollable. He sees his regrets, the worst moments of his long life and he wants desperately for it all to go away and yet he can’t let it go.

Shadowpeach might be able to happen but it can’t be comfortable. Macaque will never not flinch at the touch of the sun and Sun Wukong will never not shiver as his shadow envelopes him.

[condomatsu]

LOTS OF HOMESTUCK FANDOM RAMBLING AND COMPLAINS

[this is my view, this is my opinion, idc if you disagree, idc if you agree, i just wanna talk about it and hopefully never touch the subject ever again] [english is not my first language, pardon my errors]

"Kanaya and Rose are lesbians!!!" that's a cool and valid headcanon, but you recognize and treat it as what it is - a headcanon - right?

You recognize that people who ships Kanaya and Karkat are not 'homophobes' nor are 'trying to erease Kanaya's sexuality', right?

I like rosemary, I really do, but I'm TIRED to see people writing "DNI IF YOU SHIP KANAYA/ROSE WITH BOYS". You're entitled to do that, sure, that's not even the biggest problem. THE problem is when 'fans' see the ship and not the characters and don't go over that. They see rosemary as "the lesbians uwu" and nothing else.

Rose and Kanaya used to be very complex and unique characters. Sure, Act6 ruined them, but Act6 ruined EVERYONE, so what's the difference? Why so many people headcanons Karkat as 'gay' but still recognize him as his own character? Why it's not the same with Rose and Kanaya?

They basically don't exist outside of their relationship anymore, they exist as a whole that consist in just "the sapphics, the lovers, the wives" and that's it.

Mind you, I would still say this even if their canon sexuallity was lesbian, but the fact they're not and people are so aggressive about it makes it so much worse.

Rose has shown interest in men, Kanaya - as EVERY troll - doesn't even know wtf 'sexuality' means. Basically, if we HAVE to give the a sexuality, Rose is more bisexual and Kanaya pansexual - maybe omni since Hussie said Kanaya's interest in women is "a fetish"; something horrorific that I seriously don't know how fans (indireclty) accepted (by making Kanaya as "the lesbian uwu").

I feel like repeating myself, but YOU CAN HEADCANON THEM AS THE FUCK YOU WANT TO! You can even feel uncomfortable if people ships them with the opposite gender! You can post/talk/reblog/etc about them only when they're paired together, I do it too! But don't go after people who sees them differently; don't go after people who doesn't buy the 'canon rosemary bullshit' (remember they interacted very less and very less romantically than other famous ships like grimdorks after all); don't geniunly think about them as "the lesbians" and nothing else. This is why wlw ships and woman characters are so less relevant and seen in fandom spaces. Yeah, they're in every Beta kids/troll draw, but them ALONE as themselves, without making their sexulity/relationships the centre of the thing? How many character analysis there are about homestuck boys - sometimes even without mentioning their relationships at all? How many there are about girls character? And I used rosemary as an example but Jade suffers a lot of this too.

Have you seen Jade outside of the "best girl" or "autistic girl" or "cute girl who can beat your ass" context? Much less, right? The last one - "cute girl who can beat your ass" - is even less present then the others somehow. Jade in general is very less present in the fandom in general.

"It always has been this way" I disagree. VRISKA is the perfect example for this. If you go further back into the fandom, you'll see tons and tons of Vriska-solo content, lots of analysis, fanarts, fanfics, etc. But since she became the "Terezi's moirail uwu" she stopped existing so much outside of her relationship with Terezi. Even Vriska's relationship with Tavros didn't do that. Gosh, not even Vriska's PAST relationship with Kanaya did that! I'm not even sure this people even KNOW Vriska and Kanaya were moirails and that Rose was supposed to 'replace Vriska' and become Kanaya's moirail herself.

But times have changed and now Vriska too is the "butch lesbian" and nothing else. Well, in her case, she still have lots of solo-moments in the fandom, but I think that's because of her HUGE part in Homestuck, were you simply cannot talk about it without mentioning her and the stuff she does. "That's valid for Rose and Kanaya too", yeah, but significantly less, you understand that? You *can* summorize Homestuck without mentioning Rose's role in the Beta SBURB session and so it's for Kanaya, but it's more difficoult to do so without mentioning Vriska's numerous interventions and fucked ups. Also, Vriska is a much more controversial character, of course people are going to discuss her more outside of her relationships.

I'm happy that this fandom considers characters as Nepeta and Feferi, even if they have such a short screentime. Still there are plenty of problems with how they're portaied in the fandom.

Nepeta's "cat-girl >w<" moments are more or less stopped; old fandom already saw this and contrasted this. The same can't be said for Feferi.

I'll say this once here and only once and (hopefully) nowhere else: Feferi is not a good person, and she's not a bitch either.

"But she stopped Eridan from committing genocide!" she still wanted to keep lowbloods as pets.

"But she used Eridan and broke up with him!" she forced herself in a relation with him to keep his morderous intentions down.

Do you see what's the problem here? It's not the ships, it's not the screentime, it's not the misscharacterization, the problem is the white-black mentality people have in fandoms; the belief that one character can exist in one context and nothing else (one ship, one way of thinking, one characteristic, ...). Characters can and should be more complex than one characteristic they have which is a little fraction of themselves. AND this is especially true for girls/women characters, who are STILL viewed less and less complexly than boys/men characters, and THAT'S what kills complete girls characters and kills variations and fertilize misscharacterizations.

—sincerelly, a solkat lover who berally can see them outside of their relationship and doesn't like other ships with them

EDIT: some people have read the incipit as lesbophic, I'm very sorry for that! here are two posts (post n1), (post n2), where I clarify it. Feel free to send an ask too if there's some doubts about my statements or if you disagree on something (and explain why of course).

[acearadiamegido]

@rosenmarille Ooooo boy no bingo here but still

infodump under the cut!

-making it fucked up: I THINK they can flip blackrom sometimes. as a treat. they are both so sweet and so kind and they complement each other SO well. but that is only because they are diametrically opposed in some ways! i’ve elaborated on this point more in some other posts i think, but aradia finds comfort in independence, and often distance. she was forced for sooo much of her story to take action and be the hand that guides the timeline even in ways that she may find personally distasteful. and as a result she gets to the end of homestuck and she renounces all action and all responsibility for anything that happens because, well. she’s sick of it! it is SO much to put on her little 13 year old shoulders.

meanwhile jade wants soooo desperately to act, and to connect with the world around her. she wants to fix things! she wants to help her friends! and she is CONSTANTLY prevented from doing either of those things. she’s unconscious, or she’s trapped on an island, or her dog is keeping her out of the ruins, or she’s being mind controlled by an alien. this is ALSO a lot to put on a kid.

anyway they ultimately both value a lot of similar things, but when something goes wrong, i can see them getting into some real fucking conflict about how to handle it! i’ve compared them to ruby and sapphire from steven universe, in the episode where they argue and unfuse. aradia is the one who distances herself from the problem and tries to comfort jade by saying “hey look at the big picture! eventually none of this will matter! we don’t need to worry, or involve ourselves.” because that is comforting to HER. but to jade that sounds so cold and uncaring! to her, there’s a problem that they could potentially be working to FIX and aradia just wants them to sit there and do nothing?? that feels selfish. it also feels like a threat to her agency, because she’s never been given the option to get involved before! jade wants to finally take her chance get right into the thick of things and do her part to make everything better. which, to aradia, is lowkey threatening to HER agency! she doesn’t want to be tied down to the results of whatever happens, or be held responsible for making sure everything comes out okay. because she has always had that pressure on her to be the one to act and to guide things away from disaster.

so when they both get into that space i can totally see their nastier sides coming out. and i think that is very fun and interesting!

-i can make it so stupid: i already have babey. follow my daily doodle blog @autisticaradiamegido for gems such as:

this will also cover the very specific in-my-head scenarios lmao

-thematically delicious: see my AraJade Manifesto

i know i said this on the arasol post but i am also mentally unwell about these 2. this is the ship where i sit in an unlit storage room stringing notes together on a bulletin board. there is so much here

[davekat-sucks]

LONG RANT SORRY

I fucking hate Jack Noir so much. I hate that he basically got off scot free for literal genocide. I hate that he killed Dave’s Bro, Rose’s Mom, and John’s Dad and never once went up against all three of them because they all of a sudden decided to go up against Lord English, a guy who did NOTHING to them, and mostly fucked off killing ghosts in the dreambubbles.

I HATE how he was reduced to the status of a joke and had all intimidating traits about him brushed aside as soon as he started running away from PM. I HATE how this also culminated in all his atrocities being swept under the rug as well, so people just sort of casually forgot that this guy MURDERED EVERYBODY IN PROSPIT AND DERSE AND DESTROYED THEIR KINGDOM.

I ***HATE*** how in the ending, after killing countless swathes of people, ruining lives, destroying universes, and the like, all that happens to Jack is his arm getting cut off. I HATE how PM does nothing to him after finally depowering him, after seeing all her Exile friends getting brutally murdered save for WV WHO WOULD’VE DIED AS WELL IF NOT FOR HER USING THE VERY SAME FUCKING RING, just walks up to Jack, takes his ring and fucks off to the Forge.

I ***FUCKING HATE*** how Spades Slick is the one who gets his head chopped off in the ending. Despite being the ONLY version of Jack who’s done ANYTHING HEROIC IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING STORY, he is treated as just another enemy for Dave, Dirk, and Terezi to effortlessly mow down, because EVERYBODY KNOWS GOOD GUYS TAKE VENGEANCE UPON THOSE WHO ATTACK THEM, RIGHT?! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!! The worst part about Slick dying? Oh I don’t know.

Maybe the fact that Ms. Paint, his LOVER left and went to the wounded Jack, and patched up his arm. The fact that Ms. Paint confused Jack for Slick is easily forgiven here, but Jack’s face in that next panel just says it all. Jack fucking STEALS Slick’s girlfriend. And lives happily ever after. The genocidal maniac, LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I don’t know why any of the Beta Kids won’t kill him now. He doesn’t have the ring now, sure. He isn’t a threat to them in their new universe. But why on earth would you let your family member’s killer walk free? Is it because if you kill him while he’s already struck down, you’ll be just like him? That’s bullshit. That’s absolutely fucking bullshit to the highest fucking degree. Do they not KNOW he is still alive? Maybe one of them could go, “Hey guys, remember that guy who teleported around and killed our family members and also killed us? Yeah, I wonder where he is now.”

But no. Jack, for all of his wrongdoings, never gets punished for anything. There are even people in the fandom who love him. People who say “he was being silly” when committing literal genocide, and praising him for killing Dave’s Bro. Being an omnicidal maniac, hellbent on destroying everything and everyone in your path, gets you a girlfriend and a chopped arm. That chopped arm isn’t even an inconvenience to him. Worst thing that’ll happen because of it, he won’t be able to stroke his dick. But that’s okay, he has Ms. Paint to do it for him. He has her to put her fucking tits around his dick and cum all over her face, because he was spared.

But, being a guy who teaches his baby how to swordfight and flashstep along with his ABCs, THAT’S wrong. That’s the worst crime you could ever commit, up there with shipping JohnRose or not liking Davekat. THAT’ll get you impaled to the floor as the fandom cheers your death. THAT is what modern Homestuck fans are actively rooting against.

ALL because Hussie doesn’t know how to write properly. I will NEVER enjoy the Homestuck ending, not only because it was rushed, and left more plotholes than a wheel of Swiss cheese, but because it has the GALL to actually call itself an ending, when its arguably main villain gets away with everything.

I just wanted John or Rose or Dave or Jade or ALL FOUR OF THEM TO FUCKING BEAT JACK NOIR TO DEATH, UNTIL HE IS NOTHING MORE THAN RED MUSH ON THE FLOOR. WAS THAT TOO HARD TO WRITE?! AT NO POINT IN THE COMIC DID ALL FOUR OF THEM UNITE TO KILL JACK, OR DO ANYTHING TO HIM. DESPITE CALLING THEM FRIENDS THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TOGETHER. JUST THIS ONCE YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING AND GIVEN THEM SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR!!!

But no. That’s too much to ask.

Go to fucking hell, Hussie.

Doesn't help that people think Jack Noir and Spade Slick are one in the same, despite it is clearly shown that SS from the Problem Sleuth universe is different from Jack Noir that served under Derse. I thought it would be obvious when we see ANOTHER JACK during the Alpha session. It's the same confusion like people thinking John hugging Dad Crocker is okay because he is another version of Dad Egbert that didn't die, but it's not really the same guy, even from an alternate timeline. I never got why PM nor any of the Beta Kids would go kill Jack either after all was said and done with the game. Is it in fear of making Miss Paint upset despite she meets a different guy that HAPPENS to look like Spade Slick? I doubt the plothole will be explained in Homestuck^2. No way that whoever is left on WhatPumpkin is smart enough to address that. I would think even KARKAT would want to confront Jack since he was the one that was close to him and met him at the start of Sgrub. Does Karkat felt betrayed by Jack after he showed off his mutant blood? Is he ever angry that he was the one who caused the trolls' dream selves to die, making it impossible for him to get his other friends back? If Karkat knew Jack was alive, how would he react? Would he kill him? Make sure he doesn't stab anyone else? None of that gets brought up either and it sucks remembering as well that it was also TEREZI who tried to warn Karkat that Jack Noir was not to be trusted, but he went through anyway. Does Karkat felt bad for not trusting his crush/his own kind all because of his insecurities? Everything that you said hits the mark about Jack Noir and Andrew Hussie's shitty writing.

[plaguery]

tagged by @harbingerofskulls for a people youd like to get to know better game :]

three ships (i never know what to put here im not big on shipping): lurpom (ok i get an oc ship too), madohomu (since i just watched pmmm), platonic nadia and alan (from the show russian doll because ive been thinking about it recently. also i wanted to stick something platonic here)

first ship: the earliest i can go in my memory right now is rosemary from homestuck

last song: indoctrination (a design for living) by dead can dance

last film: pariah (2011)

currently reading: odd girls and twilight lovers by lillian faderman (and technically also in the middle of god knows how many other books)

currently craving: embarrassingly enough i kind of want a burger and fries right now to be honest. hashtag american

favorite color: blood red on white!! otherwise, wine colors

relationship status: single

last thing googled: carmilla isabella mazzanti (needed to see those illustrations!!!)

current obsessions: kind of nothing right now? im in an inbetween state. if i engage more with pmmm though i feel it maybe has the potential to be a brief obsession. mayyyybeeee

tagging anyone who wants to do this! and @rabbitmotifs (i finally get to tag you back) @morgue-ruins @princechrom @waterloggedsoliloquy @elevlynn-peace @andromedaesresolve (if you all want to, no pressure : > )

[kelebriel]

Openbound! Part! Twoooooooooo Once again, opened up this post and gonna wordvomit my thoughts onto it. Including the return of the fabled SUBPOINT. HOLD ONTO YOUR ASSES

-Man, having an unwatered lawn was a culling offense?

-Why does this soda can have horns

-Hoo boy, Cronus is the first one. Getting the bad part out of the way, I guess! -- “Why is everyone so mean to me” because you’re you --I didn’t remember how much he talked. Get him talking about how much he’s great and fuckable and he just goes on, huh. --It’d be one of the biggest jokes in Homestuck if Cronus’s music was actually banger after banger, huh. Guess we’ll never know --Man oh man you really see the worst of Cronus when he’s interacting with Mituna. --There’s no one who believes his horseshit about being sensitive and compassionate, right? The people who like Cronus like him because he’s an awful person, right? --”Latula is only with you out of pity” That’s supposed to be what the driving force in redrom is! But that implies otherwise. More fuel for my ‘Karkat’s explanation of pity being what redrom is about, as opposed to love, is bogus’ headcanon. --However much I hate Cronus, however much he was made to be just completely awful in every way, I have to admit. Him calling Meenah out on what HIC did to Alternian!Mituna is 100% spot on. And sure, Meenah didn’t, and wouldn’t, do anything HIC did, due to being in a different universe and also dying before she hit 20, but she is on record thinking that everything HIC did was cool and awesome and badass. Hard to distance yourself from that. --Kankri, man. Stepping in once again to ruin everything. I ship CronKri mostly so I can kick them off into a corner where I don’t have to think about them. They’re both wonderfully designed characters who are expertly constructed to inspire feelings of contempt and that’s why I have nothing but contempt for them

-Opening the chest with Ahab’s Crosshairs has Meenah break it and Cronus sob. And while I’m all for making Cronus suffer, I have to ask: why does someone from the peaceful utopia of Beforus even have a weapon like that?

-And there goes Mituna, doing a sick grind and faceplant combo --He really is also kind of terrible, huh. --Him saying “wader” and Kankri jumping in with some tone policing and throwing in some more “not a good example of disability” bullshit really helps him not seem like quite so bad, because Kankri is right there being an even more massive dick. Like, when Meenah has to jump in and say to be less of an asshole, you know you’re really deep in it, huh. --Why do I find Mituna’s theme more palatable than Latula’s, despite them being pretty much the same, just genderswapped --Cronus trying to test the ‘fake suicide for brownie points’ thing on Mituna and being immediately and exquisitely dunked on is fucking great. --Him dropping the gold star on Meenah? Also pretty funny. That’s why I like Mituna more than the other dickheads like Kankri or Cronus, because he can be funny.

-Back when I first came across Kurloz, I kinda hoped he’d be the reasonable cult member. Like he’d be into being a juggalo or whatever, but not a murder one? Didn’t make it to the end of the flash before he revealed his true colors being also a murder one. --Cool font, though. I need to type exclusively in that. --Him giving Meenah the finger when she tries to patronize him is funny tho -Meulin on the other hand is pretty much just a joy. The one not dick in this part of Openbound. At this point I was on Tumblr and got the superexcitable gif type of poster reference. --Why would Meenah try to kill Meulin? Beyond that one bomb at the end, I mean. --Is there anyone who knows sign language who’s worked out what the signs for GIFs like that would be -The fact that most of Alternia would turbomurder Karkat if they knew he existed and he still thinks that Alternia was a good place to live is really fucking sad.

-The fact that Karkat thinks he was a bad leader is also sad, but also infuriating. No, my dude, you did the impossible in corralling a bunch of murderhappy teens into not murdering and instead playing the game really well (or, well, maybe not really well, if you think just killing the denizen and ignoring the quests was important). The reason shit fell apart was because of Bec Noir coming in out of nowhere, that you couldn’t have possibly foreseen.

-Meenah x Aranea writes itself, it really does.

- “maybe someone in league with the evil wizard talked Cronus out of his belief in magic”. Kinda hope it was Kurloz, because my fantroll is a Prince of Rage and I want to know what they do.

-Man, what did Kurloz do to Mituna. Fucked up.

-Wait Aranea said that Kurloz took a vow of silence because of a prophetic dream, but then later says that Kurloz took a vow of silence because he honked so loud it deafened Meulin. Was it both? Or is this some more unreliable narratorship?

[tomatograter]

The Dirkjake Meta masterpost

Let’s clear the most frequently asked question right off the bat:

“Is Dirkjake abusive?” | “Is Dirkjake toxic?”

No. Dirk and Jake’s romantic relationship is based on mutual interest and a supportive friendship established years prior to the events of the main story. What a reader experiences over the course of Homestuck act 6 is how their insecurities boil to an all-time high once the Game is afoot, aggravating some of their worst habits - Like Dirk’s inability to communicate honestly without hiding behind one of his splinters (may they be metaphorical or literal), and Jake’s practiced avoidance in the face of confronting and potentially upsetting one of his friends about their shitty behavior - until it ultimately leads to a breakup. But an imperfect first date does not abuse make. They were both barely 16, under ridiculously stressful and hopeless circumstances (over 5 months trapped inside a dead session populated only by ruin and decay!), and Homestuck ends on a note of reconnection, both of them making the choice to remain close after the immediate danger has been dealt with. I mean, at the end of the credits sequence they’ve made up, are nonsensically playing ball together, and have elected to share a home in the consort kingdom, so I don’t think this is an exaggeration.

Does Rose’s alcoholism in the Game Over timeline mean that Rosekan is abusive/toxic because Rose was not sober enough to consent on a routinely basis and her frequent slurring and fraught grasp on reality canonically upset Kanaya to the point of pushing her to scream? No. They’re teens in an imperfect relationship that is new to both of them, and at the end of Homestuck, they’ve also gone through a more forceful do-over.

Does Jade, June & Dave(sprite)’s friendship turning sour during their 3 year space trip held in extreme isolation, coinciding with jade and davesprite’s breakup, which upsets their dynamic enough that june threatens to beat him with her golden hammer in the middle of a morbid tantrum about how everything sucks mean that they’re not friends anymore and their relationship is toxic now? No. For similar reasons as those cited above.

Hell, the possibility of ‘Davekat’ was deemed abusive when it was still a weird and janky rarepair competing with the other two big Dave and Karkat ships. At the time, both fandom favorites set them up with the series’ protagonist, and Davekat was the ugly duckling. There were arguments about how it was ‘inherently toxic’ because they traded barbs on a daily basis, went after the same troll girl, suplexed one another onto a hard table, and Karkat’s perpetual screaming was cited as an *undoubtedly* grave trigger for Dave’s PTSD, among other threaded squabbles marking them as ‘permanently incompatible’. Through the course of act 6, Dave and Karkat’s bond eventually deepens, and they also end up together. Sensing a pattern here.

Point being: Relationships in Homestuck are not an smooth-sailing affair, never have been, and through the many years of fandom many people have interpreted them in the worst possible ways, but that isn’t a guarantee of truth, just a matter of individual perception. 

And now you may be thinking, okay, I’m willing to humor the thought DirkJake isn’t as bad as the 2013 discourse posts written by fellow teens with a limited POV on relationships vehemently claimed it was, but I still don’t see what’s the big deal. These characters don’t make a lot of sense in my brain, individually or together.

Well, what the hell! That’s a topic I’ve been trying to breach for nearly 2 years now. Babbling intro notwithstanding, what follows is a collected list of Dirkjake meta accumulated over the years.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. “Why does Dirk remain interested in Jake in Act 7 and even into the Epilogues?”

2. Dirkjake was never like Tavris (On Jake’s Pesterquest)

(If you’d like an in-depth look at Jake’s PQ route and its major inconsistencies, click here)

3. Dirkjake and Vrisrezi as Narrative Mirrors

4. What would you say is the core of Dirkjake? 

5. The “S” in Spider-Girl is for Strider

6. Jake’s Narrative as a Gender-Non-Conforming Gay Man (I’m 100% serious and so is homestuck , actually)

(This also ties into how grandpa's & jake's marriages are flukes.)

7. Jake is a Gender Mimic

8. Did Dirk make up Jake’s romantic feelings?

9. On Jealousy: Jake Wants Dirk to Show His Feelings

10. Was it intentional for Homestuck to never show a Present Dirk/Present Jake log?

11. What’s your favorite bit of Dirkjake dialogue?

12. Okay, Dirkjake guy, What even makes you so interested in Dirkjake anyway? This doesn’t even sound like a real word anymore.

LOOSELY RELEVANT EXTRAS:  Jane’s crush on Jake is nothing but comphet (or: Jane as a GNC lesbian), and Jake’s poor treatment as a sexual assault survivor in the homestuck universe. (CSA/SA Warning)

NEW: Dirkjake and the different versions of The Princess Bride (+ and some excerpts)

[smolfailure]

FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy,  the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

 it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED.  the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) . 

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them)  but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

 quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

 ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy. 

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”) 

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT. 

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out! 

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too. 

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still. 

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope? 

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this. 

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot. 

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic. 

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan. 

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

[officialjakotsu]

How fandom fucked me up and got me abused

People often say fiction doesn’t effect reality, when defending their “controversial” ships. Firstly. This is complete and utter bullshit as you can find with a quick google search.

Secondly, I want to add in with my own personal experience as to how fiction and fandom was used to lure me into specific mindsets and allowing my abuse.

HEAVY TW FOR ABUSE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT OF A MINOR

When I was 12, I came out as bisexual to a close friend, who we will refer to as L. L, at the time, identified as a girl but has since come out as a trans boy. I will be referring to him with he/him pronouns but I feel it’s important to keep that at the time we believed we were in a same sex relationship. I believe L was 14 at the time (he was one grade above me but a little older for his grade and I have always been one of it not the youngest in my grade due to my birthday.)

L and I had first become acquainted through school and became friends due to shared fandom interests, at the time this being Hetalia. (I could write a whole essay on why Hetalia is bad alone in its effect on people, but that’s not the point. Also I was 12 and didn’t realize it.) After about a year after meeting was when he asked me out and I happily accepted. During our relationship, he also introduced me to Homestuck, which I then became a fan of.

As our relationship continued, we both got very into very roleplay, usually of our favorite ships, most of these being ones L liked that I just liked for him. The important ones to this story being Dirkjake, Dirkhal, Johnjake, and Erisol. With Johnjake, this was a very sneaky way to get me to ship incest. I had not, at the time, realized it was incest. Dirkhal was something I was uncomfortable with, but he pressured me into roleplay with it.

The dynamics between Dirkjake, Dirkhal, and Erisol are... Uncomfortable, to think of now. Dirkjake, as a relationship, canonically failed because it was toxic, and when I read it I was upset they broke up despite how obviously toxic it was. I couldn’t read it as that, because of L. With Dirkhal, it was always roleplay as incredibly passive aggressive between us (the few times I gave in to his begging to roleplay it). Erisol was always roleplayed incredibly aggressive, like how they acted to each other in canon (the characters hate each other.)

These dynamics were romanticized- possessiveness, jealousy, and aggression towards your partner. Then in other fan media I consumed, I found the romanticization of the taking of innocence, of relationships between a caretaker type and the person they were taking care of, of someone incredibly possessive over their partner, of specific types of abuse that made it so much harder for me to realize I was being abused. This was all stuff introduced to me by fandoms, by fanfiction, whether through my own internet usage, or my abuser showing them to me.

I was also drawn into this idea that because it was a “gay” relationship, it was better and more pure than a “hetero” relationship. I was told gay people weren’t abusive. And I believed that.

Fandom taught me these things were okay. Fandom taught my ABUSER these things were okay. So despite how bad it made me feel, how isolated from my family I felt, I thought it was okay. I was the younger one, I told myself this was how relationships were supposed to work because this is how fandom taught me and how my abuser taught me they were. I was inexperienced and I easily swayed because I was a child. Remember, I was a 12 year old when this relationship began. I was 14 when it ended. It was my first relationship. I had no clue how this shit was supposed to work.

Even after the relationship ended I didn’t realize how bad it was. I had found by then it wasn’t good because I saw a post on tumblr warning me about red flags in a relationship and I noticed some of them lined up with L. But even then I didn’t know it was as abusive as it was. It wasn’t until about four years later that it hit me.

Through the romanticization of the dynamics between those relationships, from all the fanfiction, and the fan content, I had gotten abused horrifically. He used this in roleplay, and in our overall relationship, to gaslight me, to abuse and then lovebomb, to excuse himself, and to sexually assault me. He used roleplay to push me into sexual situations I was uncomfortable with (again. I was 12/13/14 during this relationship) and this was an action that was played off as “cute” or “romantic.” He was my “first” in so many things and he loved to coo over my inexperience and lack of knowledge of these things. My childishness was seen as cute. How is this not creepy?

To this day I have trauma. It’s been years but even as I’m typing this out I’m getting itchy and shaky and my chest hurts. I still see L sometimes and every time I do I’m reminded of what he did to me. And he did more outside of fandom too- he tried to ruin my life and tell my friends I cheated on him (I didn’t). I was taken advantage of in so many different ways, because of my introduction to fandom spaces, and the rampant romanticization of abuse in fandoms. I’m not trying to promote “purity culture” or whatever I’m trying to protect vulnerable young kids who are like I used to be, from the situation I was in. My relationship with my mother has never fully recovered. My mental health has never fully recovered. I still have nightmares about him. My relationship with myself is still skewed, and I’m still a fucking doormate because that’s what I was turned into.

Anyway this post is a mess because I can’t fully coherently talk about L, but long story short?

I won’t sit back and let you ship what you want and romanticize what you want. If I can save even one little kid from what I went through, then it’s enough. Fuck you and fuck your ships.

And if any of you pro ship fuckers come on here to complain, you get blocked immediately. I don’t want to hear you defend yourselves on a post where I’ve just told you I was assaulted because of your rhetorics. Fuck you

[ardenttheories]

I feel horrible for forgetting about it: the Jade scandal isn't only Rose cheating on Kanaya, it's Jade cheating on Dave too (I think they were married when it happened?). It fucking sucks since she forced him into a relationship. Slightly unrelated, but, is it a coincidence that Rosemary and JadeDave got crapped on in Candy and Meat, but the Davekat ship is rather intact in Meat at least (not much either)? Bit shady for the lesbian/hetero ships to have shit luck, but not the gay boys ship...

Dave and Jade were at least together when it happened, if not explicitly married. It’s a little hard to tell with the jumps in time, and I’m not 100% sure where they are in it, but it’s definitely at least while they’re together; in Candy, Jade explicitly talks about wanting to have a child with Dave, who is absolutely her boyfriend at the time. 

So, yeah. Not only does she make Rose go behind Kanaya’s back - she actively goes behind Dave’s back to sleep with his sister. It’s. Not the greatest thing, actually. Especially, since you said, that she forced him into it despite him mostly complying because of an inability on his behalf to say no.

And I wouldn’t specifically say that. DaveKat in Candy is absolutely obliterated. They’re not allowed to be together at all, despite the two of them desperately wanting to, and it forces Jade into the position of that really disgusting yaoi fanfic trope - “woman who gets in the way of the gays”. It reads like every other piece of media where they tease you with the idea that the guys are going to get together, but then come up with every reason under the sun for why they can’t. 

There’s also the fact that even in the Epilogues, their entire relationship was retconned. Dave and Karkat were much closer and more likely to be in a romantic relationship pre-epilogues (on the retconned meteor) than they were at the start of either Epilogue. For some reason, the writers made them do that stupid “will they won’t they” dance, even though it was pretty fucking obvious by the Credits that the answer was, yes, they WILL. 

And even though they’re questionably together in Meat, note that... we actually see relatively little of them. Either together or in explicitly romantic situations - and then compare that to how often we hear Jade talk about Dave, or see Rose and Kanaya obviously together. They absolutely have no idea how to write a MLM relationship, so they’re not even trying. Honestly, that’s the only thing that saved DaveKat in Meat; they didn’t want to bother writing it, so they didn’t. 

(Especially since, of course, the person who DID write DirkJake actually left the writing team - a person, mind you, who was MLM. So they lost their MLM writer and now don’t care to try and figure out how to write MLM romance. Which. Yeah. Has its own swath of issues, honestly.)

It isn’t much better. Yeah, it’s nowhere near the levels of disgusting that Jade forcing Dave into a relationship only to cheat on him with his married lesbian sister is, or of ruining the sanctity of RoseMary as one of the only healthy ships in the entirety of Homestuck canon - but “ignore your gays” isn’t much of an improvement on “ruin your gays”. DaveKat being relatively unharmed just because they pretty much ignore it is bittersweet, to say the least.

And, of course, there’s the whole... everything with DirkJake in Meat. Emotionally and mentally manipulating your ex because you’re still fucked up with your breakup, forcing him to be so madly in love with you that you leaving causes him severe trauma which you specifically wanted to burden him with? Yeah, it’s. Hm. 

The writers are absolutely determined to ruin any sort of ship they can get their hands on. Het, MLM, WLW - it doesn’t matter, apparently. It’s gotta be ruined for the ~*~drama~*~ - or just ignored as much as possible.

[ruthlesslistener]

Gimme PK for the character meme!

I had a whole thing written up here and Tumblr reloaded and fucking ate it. I want to die

Alright take two

How I feel about this character

-Used to hate his guts. Like, legit, I rarely ever feel super strongly about characters but seeing what he did the first time made me sick to my stomach. Now though? I love him. After some wiki and lore diving in the game, I began to piece together his story and how he felt about it, and I went from seeing him as a coldhearted, clinical, detatched power-hungry dickhead to someone who genuinely loved their kingdom and loathed what they had to do, but still ended up harming multitudes because their love for it festered into something obsessive and toxic. Now he’s one of my favorites, purely because he fits that niche of ‘if a great person who was driven to desperation does horrible things, does that make them a villain?’ aspect that I love so much when writing. Also, I can bully him as much as I like in writing without feeling bad, so that’s fun. He’s like a fantasy punching bag/philosophical question.

Also, he has draconic ties. I am a weak man. I see a draconic character, and I love them no matter how awful they are. I’m weak for those proud violent majestic ancient lizards okay

All the people I ship romantically with this character

-White Lady! Usually I steer clear of hetero pairings in media because they’re written awfully, but Hollow Knight’s few romantic pairs are all excellently well-written and feel balanced and reciprocate. I know some people think that she was forced to comply with him or hated the vessel plan, but that’s...really not the case? She still speaks fondly of him in the gardens, as if he was still alive and she was merely taking a short trip away from him. And her approach to the vessel plan seems to be ‘it’s regrettable and disturbing, but it has to be done’. Hell, if anything she carries it out more efficiently than he does, keeping herself distant from Ghost and talking about Hollow as if they were a part of a machine that simply stopped working. He’s the dreamer in the relationship, and she keeps him grounded (or rooted, hehe). 

Also, he canonically gave her a half of his soul when they were married to each other, which is cute as fuck. Nothing better than seeing a character who deeply loves his wife

My non-romantic OTP for this character

-I use Homestuck quadrants as a loose outline of how the god’s romance works, because I headcanon them to have a very different way of interacting and forming bonds than humans, so its a tossup between him and Lurien as morails and him and Herrah as kismeises. Proooobably I enjoy blackrom Herrah/Pale King though because she’s more than a match for him, doesn’t seem to trigger his desire to kill his opposition (compared to Radiance, another god), and already had a kid with him. If it wasn’t for the Dreamer plan I bet she could have hammered him out into a better person through their rivalry, which would be fucking awesome to read about (and then Hornet might have actually had parents who stuck around....). Grimm I kind of headcanoned him to have a hatecrush on until he learned what he was doing with the vessels, and then he just fuckin yote that crush out into pure hatred (because Grimm is social and a father and that is his sister who he’s going to starve to death, no matter how horrible she may be now she is still his sister...)

My unpopular opinion about this character

-He was kind. He loved deeply, honestly, faithfully. And it ruined him. Because like...I know some people think that he’s cold and efficient and cruel. But everything that he did for Hallownest points to the actions of someone who loved it and the bugs that resided within. He wanted to be among his citizens, so he died for them. It would have been much easier for him to rise to power if he just enthralled all the bugs under the Radiance’s power (once he destroyed her, ofc), but he granted them free will instead. Godseeker mentioned that him choosing to diminish himself was baffling, and though she is in no means a reliable narrator, I think about the connotations behind that a lot. Because for a being who feeds on worship, a being that is supposedly pure Mind and no heart, staying in that big wyrm form and enthralling the mortals would be the best course of action. But he chose to die instead, so that he may be with them. He chose to destroy his family so that they might live free from the mindlessness of the Radiance’s rule. He loved the Hollow Knight, his supposed mindless sacrificial lamb, enough to gift them the ability to see the world from their sealing and to build them a memorial statue (no small thing for a god, though condescending for a mortal- remember that gods true-die when they are forgotten, and a big honking statue about their sacrifice for the good of the kingdom is a sure way to gather awe and worship). And when Hallownest fell and he sealed himself away in dreams to die- the same as what he did to the Radiance, mind you- we can literally see the guilt and shame in the ruins of the White Palace. It’s his glorious palace, hidden in a mess of spikes and blades. His most heavily-guarded memory is a moment with him and Hollow- one that must be viewed by enduring the harshest punishment. The hidden rooms in the palace are all the things that were deeply close to his heart and saw as secret and shameful; his workshop with the void constructs, a tablet speaking a prophecy of Hallownest lasting forever, an empty cradle tucked directly below his throne. And then he himself, dead or dying on his throne, not a great glorious god but a neglectful mess. That all points to someone who lost everything they cared about and couldn’t handle all the horrible things they had to do to keep it safe, someone who never learned how to healthily handle their emotions and ended up hurting everyone around them in the process.

And that, in my opinion, is much scarier than your boring cardboard cutout villain model. Because the people who hurt you the most aren’t going to be calculating, cruel bastards all the time, they’re people who are kind and lovely and will do whatever it takes to keep their beloved safe, even at the cost of their own life and the lives of everyone around them. Much more interesting to handle, too. There is nothing that puts me off a fic faster than cold detatched asshole Pale King bc like...he did care. Of course he cared. That’s why he killed everybody

(Also he was a conflict-avoidant bastard but I’m not getting into that rn)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

-MORE FLASHBACKS WHERE HE’S ACTUALLY ALIVE!!! MORE FLASHBACKS WHERE HE’S WITH HOLLOW OR THE DREAMERS OR HORNET!!! I want to see how he interacted with others so I’m not just piecing his personality together from his sad lore tablets and Lemm. I’m hoping we get some flashbacks with him in Silksong, since he has the potential to be a pretty...interesting influence on Hornet’s life, seeing how she looks so much like him, but that’s a pretty wild thing to look for. I also wish we saw him as he was when he was a full wyrm, too, bc goddamn I wanna know more about these big scary god-noodles. His corpse was mostly buried back in Kingdom’s Edge, with only the ‘teeth’ really sticking out, and I’m not sure how much faith I have in the coliseum being another wyrm like the Blackwyrm. If Bardoon says they’re much bigger than him, then I def. wanna see a full-grown, alive, full-sized one in canon at some point

Send me a character and I’ll break their ass down 

[davekat-sucks]

Since it’s pride month I think a fascinating thing about the progress of how LGBT people are represented in society and media is how queer couples became more accepted into the mid-to-late 2010s and ordinarily shows that only had straight couples were allowed to, and sometimes tried, to add a non-heterosexual couple into the show’s canon.

I think the most fascinating example of this was bubbeline, or the ship between Princess Bubblegum and Marceline the vampire queen from the cartoon Adventure time.

The show ran from 2010 to 2018 and was in the prime position to build this ship up in later seasons, which helped since as far back as season 3 of the show Marceline and Bonnabel had been implied to be friends for a long time.

What’s also interesting was that in the early days, the show may not have intended for them to get together romantically, as they both had ex-boyfriends.

Episode 1 of the show has P.B. Try to revive her old boyfriend Old Mr. Creampuff from the dead, and another episode has Finn and Jake tricked by Marceline’s ex boyfriend to remove the memory of their breakup.

So a lot of the early seasons of Adventure Time really imply these two women to be straight, until the later seasons. They hang out together A LOT in the later seasons, and share a canon kiss in the finale, which really coincides with the Obgerfell Vs Hobbes court case and changes in censorship for kids media.

And to be fair, they were the best fit for each other. The only primary male characters Princess Bubblegum knew were Finn, who is underage until the 1st season of the show, Jake who is a dog and in a relationship with her steed and friend lady rainicorn, and her serial kidnapper the Ice King. Marceline was like, the only other adult who was nice and obviously attracted to her. It’s a funny pipeline from 2 straight women to a sapphic (I think) pairing between 2 bisexual women.

So I think Adventure Time is really a time capsule of how LGBT representation progressed with the legal protection of gay marriage by the supreme court.

Now I know this is a Homestuck account so I’ll finish off with an addendum.

Homestuck was ahead of the curve since it doesn’t have to deal with federal regulation by broadcast media by television.

Hussie had canon same-sex couples in the comic by 2012, implied same-sex attraction between 2 characters (Kanya and Rose) by 2011, and a race of Bisexual aliens (and Kanaya said to be a lesbian exception to the rule) by 2010.

This representation really helped struggling queer people finding their identity in the early 2010s. It’s a good thing that came from queer Homestuck ships, for better (RoseMary) or for worse (DAVE-KAT)

It just sucks that Finn's character had to be ruined during Adventure Time's run. But I can definitely agree that Bubbleline definitely is one of the better cartoons to show how LGBT was able to be pushed through TV media during its time. Rosemary's buildup was definitely better in early acts of Homestuck. Just wish that Act 6 and Post Retcon did more besides being that lesbian couple. Cause at least with Bubbline, the two girls are distinct even when they are apart. Like Marceline being a vampire queen, can play the bass, beautiful vocals, and has quite a heavy backstory. Princess Bubblegum is a girl who is also a scientist, has committed atrocities in order for her to stay in power, and her origins are just as shocking as well. Even when they had episodes together before they were declared as a couple, the two girls are separate characters with their own dreams, motivations, and goals that isn't always about the partner. You don't get to see or hear anymore of Rose's psychoanalysis. Not even the silly girl side of her that isn't from alcohol. Where is her playful side that she would do with John or Dave? She probably treat Karkat the same way she did towards John since they are leaders and parallel to each other. Kanaya doesn't bring up fashion anymore or do anything on the meteor for people like Karkat, Dave, or Terezi. Hell, even in Post Retcon, she still seemed chill with Vriska despite that she was her ex-crush. Was she just happy to have two bad girls on the meteor that she would rather watch them in admiration and do nothing else? Homestuck may have been the earlier presence of LGBT themes and characters, but payoff for it all as it progressed just got worse that the built up for it was better in comparison.

[ipsomaniac]

Unlimited simulacreage/the war between us and our ghosts

Waltz of the 101st Lightborne by Joanna Newsom is a deceptively whimsical sailor’s shanty about a regiment that gets locked in a time loop, doomed to endlessly repeat the war that caused the rift in reality. The war is circular, both temporally but also in that it seems to be mutliple iterations or memories of the one regiment fighting itself. The only escape from the war is to be marooned on a desert island. Many references to space, time, light.

Joanna Newsom clearly went through a Homestuck phase, there’s no other explanation.

I believed they had got what they came for I believed our peril was done On the eve of the last of the great wars After three we had narrowly won (But the fourth It was carelessly done)

Saw his ship in its whistling ascension As they launched from the capitol seat Swear I saw our mistake When the clouds draped like a flag Across the backs of the fleet Of the hundred-first lightborne elite

As the day is long So the well runs dry And we came to see time is taller Than space is wide And we bade goodbye To the great divide Found unlimited simulacreage to colonize

But there was a time we were lashed to the prow Of a ship you may board, but not steer Before you and I ceased to mean now And began to mean only right here (to mean inches and miles, but not years)

Before space has a taste of its limits And a new sort of coordinate awoke Making time just another poor tenant Bearing weight, taking fire, trading smokes In the war between us and our ghosts

(But I saw the Bering Strait and the Golden Gate In silent suspension of their golden age And you can barely tell, if I guard it well Where I have been, and seen Pristine, unfelled)

I had a dream that I walked in the garden Of Chabot, and those telescope ruins It was there that I called to my true love Who was pale as millennial moons Honey, where did you come by that wound?

When I woke, he was gone And the war had begun In eternal return and repeat Calling, where in the hell are the rest of your fellow One hundred-one lightborne elite? Stormed in the new highland light infantry

Make it stop, my love We were wrong to try Never saw what we could unravel In traveling light Nor how the trip debrides Like a stack of slides All we saw was that time is taller than space is wide

That's why we are bound to a round desert island 'neath the sky where our sailors have gone Have they drowned, in those windy highlands? Highlands away, my John

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck^2 re: Chapter 11: “History's Most Notorious Haters”

"History's Most Notorious Haters"? Sounds like something Dirk, Vriska or Meenah'd say. :P

So, last we "saw" Dirk, Terezi had had a fateful encounter with Rose's spawn.

... Ah yes, Dirk was intending to start fresh re: seeding the planet. And actually go about it more seriously. Wonder how that'd turn out.

---

> 2877

Uhhhhhh... That actually looks like it could be Caliborn's handiwork, only it's drawn neater than he would. That command though.

What? "Knight: Keep it real". What knight? Not Dave right? So: Davebot? ... Did Alt Callie, Jade and Davebot board a selfdrawn rocket? If so, Alt Calliope kind of sucks at drawing, which is hilarious.

---

> 2878

Oooooh, yes! So the wormhole that Calliope opened must've opened above Earth C, from which they boarded a vessel, the third that's under way to Deltritus, pfffff. Oh, and I f*cked up, I mentioned Jade where I should've written Aradia. Alt Callie is in Jade's body, after all.

I'm looking forward to seeing how Ultimate Dave behaves. Aradia might be the best person to guess whether his soul is influenced by inhabiting a bot.

Pfff, target practice with Jade's dumb fruits.

...

OH HELL YES THESE TWO TOGETHER. Didn't think that would match so greatly! :D (I also wonder how much of their banter is flirting, after three years cooped up together.)

So, Aradia implies she's reached ascension as well, over the years somewhere. Well then. Guess that must be part of the reason she was okay with just chilling on Candy Earth for all time. Girl's seen it all by now.

And Dave has taken to his robot body like a fish takes to oxygenated water, I see. He's having a field day (year(s)) with it.

Alt Calliope is definitely behind the narration here, speakerless as though it may seem.

And wow. So... Where Dirk has gotten a vast understanding of his own self, Dirk and Aradia mostly just experience every passing moment in every timeline at the same time.

Hah, so Calliope was actually in two places in spacetime of Universe C at the same time, circumstantially. Where Lord English was always "already here", Calliope is always "already there". :P

But now that Jade escaped her influence, will she become more active on this ship? And will we not see the others for a while, until Calliope revisits their narrative?

---

> 2879

Wow, alive Aradia is such a joker. Sad that John never got to see this side of her, he only encountered the creepy.

And wow yeah, Dave went off on a tangent there, I didn't even notice. Both of them actually left their loved ones behind on Earth C. Dave's loved ones must even think he's dead, unless he went back to Jade?

Guess we might see something in the coming flashback! I mean sure, it seems like it's going to be just about Aradia saying goodbye to Sollux, but hey! Dave's an Ultimate Knight of Time, he could have found the time to say goodbye.

Blaperile's got a good point, the "months in the past" seems to imply this takes place not after three years but sometime during their trip to Deltritus. The () do show it's a flashback to Earth C, at least.

---

> 2880

Oh, Sollux actually watched them leave? Boy, he was "in one of his moods", but seeing her actually leave on him must've stung a LOT.

What... What has he done since then, though? Did he find his way to Karkat... Wait, how would he? He's still blind! ... So he did not actually watched them leave. Still, he looks like he knew what was up.

---

> 2881

Wow, they left in broad daylight! I wouldn't have guessed!

...

D'aaaaaah, [S] page! I wonder how small the animation's gonna be. And if it'll focus on just Sollux? I mean, ... He wouldn't really HAVE much to gaze WITH, right? Because he's still blind. So... Just a black page? Or actually showing more of Earth C, from this fateful day? Maybe how John finished his day after hearing about Dave?

---

> 2882

... PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf

So dramatic, I have to admit.

Well, I guess Sollux HEARD them leave. *pops raspberry*

---

> 2883

Welp, poor Sollux. Didn't think this through. Stairs, his eternal enemy.

Guess he might still be stumbling through the ectobiology meteor at the end of the day in Earth C's timeline.

---

> 2884

Oh wow. Hah, so Dave might actually be lugging around some unresolved feelings from what he did just after ascending. Which goes to further prove, Ultimate Selves still have baggage. They're not tricksters.

Meanwhile Aradia seems to know where she and Sollux stood perfectly.

Also, Dave is needling Alt Calliope. Just cause they're aligned on taking on Dirk doesn't mean he's okay with how Calliope took over one of Jade's alt bodies.

It would even seem that Calliope is needled in SUCH a way that she's trying to move the trip along. Even though she MUST narrate everything objectively and not leave anything relevant out.

Which means Dave can keep needling her. This is too good!

---

> 2885

Uuuuuhhhmmmm... I think that's symbolical.

Unless Calliope was so petty as to launch them into a weeks-long head-over-heels spin. :P

---

> 2886

Wow. So they DID get Calliope to switch clothes. Hey, maybe that's why Jade on the other timeline was in another outfit too.

Pfff, Calliope tried to sugarcoat the timeskip, but she ruined it by trying to continue the previous conversation, which Dave immediately picked up on.

And! Calliope is actually engaging with Dave and Aradia! That's remarkable! It seems her fascination with the Time aspect overrules her desire to remain an observer first! And, well, on the other ship her attempts at bonding (over juice and such) didn't really float.

That "BEST KARKAT" mug though.

So, uh, Aradia is now free game to use in your fan adventures, it would seem. She just up 'n left for a couple hundred years. :P Doesn't even matter when, she can probably timetravel back into the other timelines by now, now that's she an Ultimate Self.

Dave's AC thrown into the sun, tssk, tssk.

---

> 2887

Aradia picking up Calliope's mannerisms! Alpha Calliope's mannerisms, hilariously.

---

> 2888

Yes Dave, now there's two of them. You are surrounded by eternal children.

(I started to wonder from Dave's comment on 2886 - did he in fact still age before becoming his Ultime Self, how ever slightly?)

---

> 2889

... Oh, it's a BEST NARRATOR mug. Dave's getting two-timed (*cough*) here, now he knows what Jade felt like with the Karkat's.

---

> 2890

This must be when Jade took back control of her body! That must've been a mental whiplash to Calliope. Though she did do a good job dividing her attention over those two "narrative frames".

[sometipsygnostalgic]

i am queueing up a lot of johnrezi. i apologise in advance

i will also fucking destroy hussie for taking my cute little crackship, my favourite post-vriska character relationship for terezi that i would turn to whenever i wanted to write something cute and fluffy post-A7, and turning it into a tragific.

im serious. now what do i do for terezi? she even ran away from roxy. how am i going to ship johnroxrezi now. and vriskas in a different universe   

as much as i reason with myself that “things will get better for terezi! you’ll fucking see!!!!!!” i feel like a large purpose of her character narratively is to be constantly denied narrative release. terezi is a straight up hero, one of the most righteous and active members of the cast, but due to things out of her control she can’t get the catharsis she’s earned so hard, and she won’t take anything less. dirk said it straight, terezi won’t let herself be understood. my god... she is actually an Edgelord. terezi hates edgelords, so this knowledge gets on her nerves.  

honestly, at this stage? seeing her give up on Earth and walk away with the villains, to run from her psychological problems again and avoid having to confront several lifetimes worth of grief condensed in about 5 years? having to mourn both john and vriska at the same time?  is it really much of a surprise that terezi is incapable of connecting with anyone when they seemed so eager to just forget what the world around them means, the things they’ve seen and lost? when she already knows jane crocker is going to run their paradise into the ground and ruin the hopes of the new trolls, and everybody is absorbed in petty feuds? you have to remember john liveblogged the whole Candy timeline to her... id stay Far Away from that entire friend group if i were in her shoes lol

but even so, even after losing basically everything and knowing she’s getting roped by somebody very manipulative into leaving everyone behind and doing something that could be hopeless, terezi has a bit of her spirit left in her. she challenged dirk on what he said about her feelings. even on the journey into space she’s doing very Terezi shit like eating robot candy. she’s obviously nothing like dirk, who’s given up on any form of empathy, and she’s not a robot like rose. not that rose is entirely brainwashed or enlightened either. rose is fucking fed up with dirk’s crap by the end.   

terezi pyrope might be one of the most tragic characters in homestuck, but she has never took anything the narative has done to her sitting down.  she is a Fixer. the price of the power of Narrative Relevance is the pain of discovering things that can’t be Fixed... but she will get back up on her two feet, rip that sword out of her beating heart, and then headbutt a fuckboy in the face. i don’t think there’s another character in the comic who has such conviction, even in the face of so much tragedy and being Personally Victimized by the Author.   

i wonder if reading meat first and then candy second makes things feel a bit more optimistic when you remember terezi received a weird text, and then you see who it’s from?