#How much free will did Nina and Sara have?

[non-cannon]

If you think about it, technically Rufus did his job as the Osirian in the season two finale. When he took the mask from Nina he protected the Chosen One from going to the afterlife, and with Senkarah following the mask he also sent the evil being harming/threatening the Paragon to the (probably technically not hell) bad afterlife.

[macaroni-rascal]

I have so many thoughts but so little time, goddammit! Both dance events were fascinating. The junior event showcasing infinitely better skating skills than the senior one is such a bad look. My heart broke for Yahli, but at least she had Tanith there to console her, she's the perfect person for this because she's literally lived through it. Although I do feel bad every time Tanith curls her hair just so her teams would disappoint her. Overall I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked the juniors, they were all so different and so good. Probably the best JGPF I've ever seen, especially the girlies!

Marjo and Zak are likely rooming with Lia and Trennt respectively because they looked like they rubbed off on each other. Zak looked like he knew they wouldn't have a good skate going in, so I wonder what's been going on. Marjo's hair piece is doing all the heavy lifting discipline-wide. The tech panel tried to do its job but the GOEs were a trip, as always. It's fascinating which judges fucked over their own teams. Charlene went out there with a vengeance and skated lights out, her ponytail floating in the wind like a plume of fire. They should've been in first. Barbara's stopwatch should be put up in the Olympic Museum when she retires. I love Mark so much, his ability to sneakily say things is unparalleled. When he said C/B have never won the GPF, all of us old-timers knew exactly what he was saying - they'll be handed the win. Luckily for them, G/P aren't helping themselves with this atrocious RD. Any team that's lying down on the ice better not talk to me. And Nik really isn't doing anything to get off my shitlist, huh? I was wondering when F/G's reckoning would come and I'm pleasantly surprised it was this quick, they needed a reality check.

The pairs event also made me stabby. The Germans had no business outscoring the Italians. Minnie better shield this boy lest Aljona try to poach him. What annoys me the most is that Deanna and Max repeat this trajectory every year - they start out strong, nail it at an early Challenger or GP, and then can't do a clean competition for the life of them, the choreo gets watered down, and by the time Worlds rolls around, they're completely out of gas and the judges have lost their faith in them. The axel has never been Trennt's jump, but I'm fascinated by how he's landing his former nemesis the 3S with such ease now but not the 2A. And it was only a matter of time before he started putting down lifts because Alison doesn't teach the girls how to hold themselves up in them. They need a harder throw and a Lori Nichol/Sandra Bezic/David Wilson program if they want to be competitive next year and of course they should keep spending time in London, it's doing wonders for them, and maybe they can learn a thing or two about lifts from the coaches there as well. Their free was the most beautiful of the bunch here. I see what Asher was trying to do with the SP but it doesn't really suit them, I much preferred the initial version they did at the sectionals. The Hungarians' free could also be so tender and special if it was being done by a team with any connection whatsoever. I want justice for Sara and Niccolo at Europeans and Worlds, but they also need to change programs once in a while. Is H/V's coach really powerful or something? What is going on here? What is this shit?

The women's event could've been an email. I'm still shooting daggers at Isabeau's coaching team. The way she can't recover from a mistake is deeply concerning. Amber is being served the national title on a platter this year and she better eat. Rion's skating usually doesn't do anything for me but I kinda enjoyed her here. I still actively dislike Hanna and Loena's SPs. Nina's dress is fabulous but she's the second coming of Alina on those crossovers when I'd rather forget even the first coming. Angel Kaori still doing angel shit, good for her, as an OG stan I'm fucking thriving. All I need is Wakaba back at full brilliance and I'll ascend. I'm so ready for this senior free dance event, I can't even tell you. Hope you feel better soon!

I didn't end up watching any of the junior gpf, but you're making me wanna go back and watch junior ice dance, I may do that!

Ice dance at the GPF could have been an email, I know you said that about women -- and that's fair -- but I really think this ice dance event bored the hell out of me. Same with the free dance I just watched. I skipped half the teams cause I just didn't really care to watch. I am happy F/G got a reality check, and I wish the Italians won, but what are ya gonna do? Go stalk and kidnap judges' families until they do what you want? Maybe?!

Pairs is a wild time, I think H/V have been very consistent this season, despite all their issues off ice, and the judges are into it. I enjoy them as a team, I wish they had better programs, and looked at each other more, but I think they've got a cool future ahead of them. I'm so sad for Deanna and Max, had she done a double axel the title would have been theirs. It is fun the top three teams were within two points of each other, that's a good time for me. The Italians (both teams) put me to sleep, so I don't really remember their skates.

I agree with all your opinions on the women's sp event, amen amen amen.

[yutahoes]

Hello there ! How have you been doing ? ~

I don't know if I ever sent an ask before 🤔 since we most of the time when we spoke it was through the dm's haha

I FINALLY caught everything up I was really feeling bad not reading your writings 🥺 (I use the like button as to not get lost whenever I catch up things but it also helps you getting more attention on the site and it would be nice for your blog to grow some more !)

Anyways, it's almost 3am here- I was first drawing and studying a little facial expressions but then I read what I didn't here-

I'm feeling so energetic if I don't forget I can share with you my drawings !

Lastly I noticed I didn't tell you my name yet I believe 🤔 I'm Sara ! 🥰

Take care of yourself and don't pressure yourself too much about your blog, IRL life first I'm sure you must be someone busy at some point so no need to feel bad about it! ^-^

(Omg I wrote so much I'm so sorryyy I'm feeling hyper right now ;-; )

OH LASTLY (for real) I really love that yuta's angel team name it's adorable 🥺

ANYWAYS TAKE CARE PLEASE

Hi Sara 👋👋 Oh yeah, I haven't asked your name before although we talk a lot in the dms. (I listened to Lemon like you suggested and kept repeating it now. And also, I've been touring Paris through Google Maps. 😂 Montmarte is so pretty. ❤️)

Thank you so much for liking and commenting on my works. You even did catch up to it, I'm really thankful. 🙂

You draw? I'm sorry but is it a French thing? Why are French people so good in drawing?? Yes, please. I want to see your drawings. 🥰 Please feel free to share your art with me. I don't know anything about art but I enjoy paintings and drawings a lot. 😁

I had a week break so I had the chance to catch up with some WIPs so I post as much as I can and my mind is filled with story ideas so I have to write it or I'll get crazy 😂 So yeah, I might be updating a lot of scenarios this month. I hope you won't get sick of me. 😅

I'm thinking of changing the name to Indigo team since it also means 'ai' in Japanese but Yuta's Angels just stuck to me. 🥰 God, I also said too much. 🤣 Thank you for the serotonin boost, Sara. 😉

Take care of yourself as well. Take a rest now, it's late. 🥰 Thank you so much. ❤️❤️❤️

-Nina 🐼

ps. gif is my current mood 🤣

[intricate-oeuvre]

say it before you run out of time || B. Hardy || part VII

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: Ben and the reader have been friends since childhood. And along the way reader falls in love with him. But it might be too late when another girl shows up claiming that she’s his girlfriend.

Warnings: slight adult content, 18+, not full blown smut just yet

A/n: hmu if you want to be tagged in future chapters. also im just looking at some good old Ben content and literally started crying, just like... protect him at all costs!!!

part I  part II  part III  part IV  part V  part VI  part VII   part VIII  part IX  part X  part XI  part XII part XIII

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***gif- courtesy of google // if it’s yours hit me up so I can credit you

Ben was about to punch whoever was calling him now, and he didn’t care who it was.

“What a cockblocker…” Ben trailed off, smirk still playing on his lips as he stared at the door, waiting if someone will come in. At this moment you didn’t care who was calling for him. You still stared at Ben, only now, slightly turned to him.

His eyes slid from the doors to look at you, his smirk only growing bigger.

“What…?” you dared to ask, too afraid that he’s about to take everything back.

Ben let his eyes travel down your body.

“You are fucking beautiful, do you know that?” he said, his Adam apple bobbing.

“I don’t know why I haven’t told you that earlier…” he trailed off, reaching to put his hand on your bare knee. Your breathing getting heavier, you followed his hand with your eyes.

“Can I?” Ben let out quietly, fearing that he might be overstepping your boundaries. You didn’t look up, only nodded.

“Talk to me.” Ben urged, he wanted to hear you say that you want him as much as he wanted you at this moment.

“Yeah… please…” you whispered and dared to look up, seeing hundred emotions flash across Ben’s face. Starting from relief ending till the rawest, purest want you have ever seen. Next second, Ben’s hands were everywhere. He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer until you straddled his legs. His left hand sprawled over your shoulder blades, ready to pull you even closer any given second, while his right hand cupped the side of your neck as he leaned close to your face, small smile playing on his lips.

“Don’t be scared. Touch me.” He noticed your hesitation, and tapped his chest with his left hand, urging you to do so. You let your hands rest on his chest. Letting your fingers spread and feel muscles underneath. Slowly trailing your right hand upwards, you let your hand rest at the back of his neck. Letting your fingers curl in his hair. Your breathing uneven now. Ben loved how he could make you breath heavier just by innocently touching you.

Letting your eyes travel to his, you almost melted. You wanted to see that look on his face so many times before and now you wanted, scratch that, you hoped and needed to see that look on his face every day. The look he wore was so priceless. As if he was planting roses in your heart and not feelings. As if he never wanted to let you out of his reach. As if he only now realized that his whole world was right in front of him. Not being able to hold back any longer, you crushed your lips to his. With out hesitations, Ben kissed you back.

Kissing him felt like free-falling, endless, as if you could drown in him. And for a brief second you thought you might just die, when Ben bit your lower lip, making you let out a small gasp, which let him slide his tongue in your mouth. And you’d be lying, if you didn’t think that his tongue was the thing that brought you back to your senses.

Letting out a moan, that Ben so greedily swallowed to keep you quiet, you pulled away just a fraction, trying to catch your breath. Using the given opportunity, Ben kissed the side of your neck. And he could swear to gods that his favorite music now were your moans.

“Come here.” Ben whispered, grabbing your face and letting his lips devour yours for second time. Both of your hands now were in his hair, pulling on it slightly from time to time, enjoying how soft it felt between your fingers. Not thinking straight anymore, you rolled your hips into his. At your movement, Ben’s hands flew to your hips, pulling you closer and repeating your motion. He let his forehead rest against yours, as he continued to roll your hips against his and stare down at your hips.

“Ben…” you moaned, pulling on his hair. Hearing you moan his name, all because of his actions, made him buck his hips into yours.

“Fuck…” you whined at his movement. Feeling just how excited Ben was.

“You are going to be the death of me, love.” Ben looked up at you. Pulling his sweater away from your collar bones, he planted soft pecks there that turned into feverish kisses. He was marking you. And you were living for it.

“Ben!” someone still called his name and it was not you. With slight roll of his eyes, Ben pulled back, letting his head lean against the wall. Letting your hands rest on his chest, you continued to grind on his hard dick.

“Smart girl.” Ben praised, gently stroking your cheek and letting his thumb rest against your lower lip, slightly pulling down on it. His left arm sneaking to the hem of the sweater you were wearing. He let it slid under it and rested his hand on your lower stomach. This time you leaned back in, stealing another soaring kiss from him. What could be better that slow tongue kissing and grinding on each other. Slowly pulling away from each other, you noticed that Ben was smiling.

“Why are you smiling?” you asked, slowly ceasing your movements.

“Thinking.” He said, searching your face as if he tried burn in his head all the small details about you.

“About what?” you asked, curiosity getting better of you.

“I think I found what happiness tastes like… and…” he said, unable to contain his smile.

“And?” you smiled back at him, for a second looking away and hiding your blush.

“I may or may not be thinking about eating you out…” He said, boyish grin taking over.

“Ben!” you squeaked as he grabbed your ass and pulled you closer, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“BEN!” someone was still calling and searching for him outside. The call making Frankie howl along.

“Shhh…” Ben shushed his dog, while wrapping his hands around you. Letting your head rest on his shoulder, you let yourself be lost in his scent, the feeling of his strong arms making you feel safe.

“You need to be quiet, Franksta.” Ben said to the pup, who only looked back at him and tilted her head.

“Daddy’s busy at the moment.” Ben smirked looking down at you. He was about to lean in and restart your little make-out session when both of you heard noise behind the pool-house doors. By the voices you could tell it was Rose and one of Ben’s friends, but it wasn’t the voice that was basically screaming his name earlier. Second later there was a knock on the doors.

Rose’s head popped in; her eyes shielded with her hand:

“Is it safe to look? Everyone have their clothes on?”

“Yeah…” You chuckled, sitting up. Ben slid off the counter.

“Nina is looking for you, Ben.” Rose told.

“Yeah. I heard her the first time.” Ben answered helping you get off the counter.

“Why didn’t you respond?” Rose asked.

“Didn’t feel like it. I was busy.” Ben answered, his face emotionless.

“Busy… I can see that.” Rose smirked.

“Shit…” Ben hissed, pulling you in front of him. With small blush on your face, you dragged Rose outside.

“So… how was it…?” she asked you, smirking.

“There was nothing…” you said, trying to conceal your smile but it turned out to be impossible.

“What did Nina want?” Ben asked his mate, coming out of the pool-house, Frankie hot on his heals as he locked the little house up.

“Have no idea. Something about calling it a night.” small pause as his friend observed him.

“You got it bad.” His friend told Ben, as he noticed the blond lad staring at you as you were talking quietly with Rose.

“What?” Ben looked at him.

“If her smile turns you on then I am sorry to tell you that you are fucked.”

“I know.” Ben answered letting out a small sigh. Perfectly knowing that he will need to share bed with someone else that wasn’t you. He was really fucked.

“I need to go to bathroom, to freshen up.” You said to Rose, letting your fingers pull down on your cheeks. In this exact moment Ben and his friend walked past you. Stopping at your side, Ben pressed himself close to you, burying his nose in your hair, so he could whisper in your ear:

“Think of me when you cum later…” he was referencing on your want to freshen up in bathroom. 

With that he turned to leave, giving Rose a playful middle finger, for catching him with boner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @brianandthemays @sara-1705 @queen-turtle-boiii @rogahloveshiscarr @radiob-l-a-hblah @scarsout @babydazz @mercurycrowley @drowse13 @ironicallyrog @moe-jazzello@forbbidensunlust @virtualsheepeat @vanitysfairr @luvborhap @loveandbeloved29 @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @blind-melon-taylor @jazzman-19

[panelshowsource]

a note about women’s month 💘

thank you to everyone who voted in the fave female panelists poll this year! last year was a blast and this year was even better! we’ve seen more woman on tv this year — and some improved, though grossly insufficient, diversity within that — and i love celebrating that with you everyday!

last year, i wrote this:

the lack of diversity in british comedy is an alarming issue that has only recently become headline news. statistics presented by this study, based on 50 years of panel shows and over 4,700 individual episodes, are beyond disappointing for women (here is an easy-to-read graph by series & by year); similar disappointment stems from the lineups at popular comedy festivals, like edinburgh. in 2014, the head of tv at the bbc promised to end all-male comedy shows, a “step in the right direction” that hasn’t been without fear of tokenism, fair criticism as well as some naysayers. women, people of colour, lgbt peoples, those differently-abled and those all of the above and in between are just as funny as cis-identifying white men and deserve a place on our screens. watch their standup, buy their books, stream their videos, listen to their podcasts, comment on and like their content, follow their social media. this support can directly help women become more visible in british comedy.

in the last year, have you been actively conscious of supporting women in comedy? i’d like to take a moment to talk about some ways you can do that :)

➡ from feminist discourse to tales of humans & their dogs to ghost stories, these women are providing some of the most touching, stimulating, and funny reading coming out of comedy:

How to be Champion: My Autobiography by Sarah Millican

Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body by Sara Pascoe

The Guilty Feminist: From our noble goals to our worst hypocrisies by Deborah Frances-White

The Actual One: How I Tried, and Failed, to Avoid Adulthood Forever by Isy Suttie

Cheer Up Love: Adventures in Depression with the Crab of Hate by Susan Calman

The More You Ignore Me by Jo Brand

Can't Stand Up for Sitting Down: A Memoir by Jo Brand

Look Back in Hunger: The Autobiography by Jo Brand

Born Lippy: How to Do Female by Jo Brand

Is It Just Me? by Miranda Hart

Peggy & Me by Miranda Hart

Nina Is Not OK by Shappi Khorsandi

A Beginner's Guide to Acting English: A Memoir by Shappi Khorsandi

Spectacles: A Memoir by Sue Perkins

East of Croydon: Blunderings through India and South East Asia by Sue Perkins

Once More, with Feeling: How We Tried to Make the Greatest Porn Film Ever by Victoria Coren Mitchell and Charlie Skelton

For Richer, For Poorer: A Love Affair with Poker by Victoria Coren Mitchell

Dead Funny: Horror Stories by Comedians featuring Sara Pascoe, Katy Brand, and Danielle Ward

...and that’s just to name a handful! my fingers would need a 5 min power nap if i tried typing out all of susie dent’s books 💪

➡ this is a list of a lot relevant active podcasts coming out of britain right now (though it is missing, most notably, off menu). for example, if you liked alice levine on taskmaster, why not listen to her podcast? or watch/listen her on rhlstp? this is such a fun way to get more deeply involved in the comedy of some of your favourite ladies! might i recommend isy suttie’s the things we do for love, anneka harry’s brown bread, or box set go! with nicola stephenson (the newest ep features rebecca front!)? most of these are free, or they can be found/requested at /r/notapanelshow p.s. suzi ruffell, rosie jones, tiff stevenson and more are scheduled to appear on rhlstp this season 😍

➡ here is a list of some radio programmes currently on the air. while it does look stacked with men (because it is), women do feature on so many of these series and absolutely smash it! did you know sandi toksvig hosted the news quiz for almost ten years, and its regular panelists include susan calman, rebecca front, zoe lyons, and more? or that victoria coren mitchell has hosted heresy since 2006 (because there’s nothing she can’t do)? or that sarah millican, jo brand, and sally phillips have each hosted series of the museum of curiosity? these are all on the masterpost! 👏 p.s. you can always search for and/or request more radio shows at /r/panelshow or, if they’re not panel radio shows, /r/notapanelshow :)

➡ social 👏 media 👏 determines 👏 relevancy 👏 do i agree with this system? no. is this the system entertainers are currently slaves to? yes. do you follow your favourite women on twitter, instagram, youtube, etc? one click. one like. one retweet. one reblog. here is a list of some of the comedians i follow on twitter to get you started — all of your faves are on there! when you like something they are on, tweet about it! tag them, the network, the channel, use the hashtags, post pictures! tell channels like dave or people like richard osman who your faves are, who deserves more exposure, who you want to see in the future! we’re already obsessing over how much we like these ladies anyways, so why not make that obsession even more visibile?

➡ we have a really sweet, modest community here of at least 10,000 people. this is not something i’ve ever talked about because i don’t want what i’m going to say to be misconstrued as begging for notes — that is not my concern. but you may have heard people on this site talk about something called the like/reblog ratio. a lot of creators are concerned that, apart from tumblr’s ever-evolving ludicrous algorithms murdering their visibility, people are so obsessed with their blog aesthetics that they’re not actually reblogging everything they like. here’s a couple of my gifset details, one from a nicher post and one from a more popular post:

while i appreciate any notes, numbers likes these aren’t always encouraging. i’m not here to tell you how to enjoy your spare time and interests, or to criticise people who enjoy aesthetic. i just want to point out that if you want someone to be successful, you play a direct part in promoting them and spreading their art. as the years pass, this becomes more and more true. i know how much you all love these ladies — i get messages about them every single day — but it’s a simple fact that a gifset of james acaster or noel fielding or richard ayoade or david mitchell is going to get more notes than a post about any of the women who placed in the top 5 of this poll. i am not bringing this up to this make anyone feel guilty about what they enjoy; i only hope my mentioning this encourages you to be conscientious when participating on social media, especially when your interest lies in the products of a grossly unjust industry that is taking a lot fucking time to get itself on the right track. more followers on a comedian’s twitter = more work for that comedian, because that’s simply the direction the film & tv industry is going. if your follow yields that much power, why not use it for good?

please support women. if you buy one of their books, please message me and tell me which one! if you think one of them is shining on a radio programme and we’re sleeping on her, please let me know (timestamps appreciated!)! if one starts a gofundme or patreon to start a podcast or a tour, please donate 50p and then send me the link! there is always more we can be doing and we are always underestimating what even smallest amount of support means for their bigger picture. i don’t have all the answers, but i love the feeling i get when i believe society is evolving in the right direction. rose matafeo won the edinburgh comedy award in 2018, and sarah keyworth and kiri pritchard-mclean took the top awards at the 2019 chortle awards. women are here to stay and they’re fucking killing it. because duh ❣️

if you took the time to read this, i appreciate you x

[ladyherenya]

Books read in September

I fell down a couple of rabbit holes -- that’s my metaphor of choice for when I ignore my TBR list and get distracted reading other things, usually in a search for comfort reading.

Also, I clicked the wrong thing in the Kindle app at 1am and now I have a free trial of Kindle Unlimited so I decided I might as well make use of it.

Favourite cover: A Conspiracy in Belgravia.

Reread: Obsidio by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff, Penric’s Mission and Mira’s Last Dance by Lois McMaster Bujold and Exit Strategy by Martha Wells.

Still reading: The Princess Who Flew with Dragons by Stephanie Burgis.

Next up: Pumpkinheads by Rainbow Rowell and Faith Erin Hicks.

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing. And also Dreamwidth.)

The Bride Test by Helen Hoang: Khai hasn’t found a girlfriend, so his mother arranges for a young woman from Vietnam to come to California for the summer, to see if she and Khai will suit each other. This is romance, a genre which doesn’t always share my narrative priorities -- some things are resolved too neatly, and I’d have liked more of Esme’s relationship with her daughter and of her adult education classes -- but I enjoyed reading this, so I’m not complaining. I liked how Hoang portrays Khai’s autism. He has a greater capacity for love than he realises, he just needs support to understand his feelings.

Secrets of a Sun King by Emma Carroll (narrated by Victoria Fox): I read this because I love the narrator and really liked Carroll’s Letters From the Lighthouse. This book is set post-WWI, and involves friendship, family secrets and the discovery of Tutankhamun’s tomb. Lil’s grandfather is in hospital and she becomes convinced that his recovery depends upon her solving the mystery surrounding the package sent to him by a famous and now-deceased Egyptologist. I predicted the twists, but I can see how this would strongly appeal to children who want a blend of history, adventure and mystery with a hint of fantasy. (Where was this when I was twelve?)

The Spirit Ring by Lois McMaster Bujold: Fantasy set in Renaissance Italy. Fiametta, daughter of a master mage and goldsmith, witnesses a violent coup. She flees -- and meets Thur, a guardsmen’s younger brother coming to Montefolgia for an apprenticeship. This was published in 1992, after Bujold had published several Vorkosigan books and won a few Hugos, so I wasn’t expecting it to feel so, well, rough by comparison. That said, bits of it still shine! The plot makes every detail count, the final confrontation is memorable and I liked the characters. And it’s interesting to consider this as a precursor to Bujold’s World of the Five Gods.

A Royal Pain by Meg Mulry: This turned up when I was searching Overdrive for something else (Goodness knows why, none of my search words are its title or description). It sounded like it might be entertaining, maybe a bit like The Princess Diaries. It isn’t, at least not enough for me. Two-thirds through I decided to abandon it -- and then a bit later I decided I might as well skim read to the end and see how everything turned out. I don’t feel qualified to say anything insightful, I just wandered in here by mistake...

The Enchanted April (1922) by Elizabeth von Armin (narrated by Nadia May): Four women respond to a newspaper advertisement and rent a house in Italy for the month of April. This is delightfully funny and observant, with idyllic descriptions of spring in Italy. I liked the friendships which develop between four very different women, and the way they are challenged -- or inspired -- to reconsider their opinions about others. The ending is, unsurprisingly, very tidy and conventional. (Not many options for happy endings a 1920s novelist could easily give to unhappily married women.) Reading nothing but sunshine and fairytale endings would become unsatisfying, no matter how wonderful the prose, but sometimes it’s just want one wants.

The “Lady Sherlock” series by Sherry Thomas:

A Conspiracy in Belgravia: Disgraced Charlotte Holmes has found a home with the widowed Mrs Watson and an income under the persona of “Sherlock Holmes”. Her latest case sounds simple but is complicated by connections to the wife of Charlotte’s closest friend and Charlotte’s half-brother. Meanwhile, Charlotte has a marriage proposal to consider, ciphers to crack, and a murder victim to identify. I like the way certain qualities of Doyle’s characters are assigned to different characters -- so Charlotte’s sister Livia is writing stories about Sherlock, and Mrs Watson’s niece has medical training. I enjoyed reading this and immediately embarked on the next book.

The Hollow of Fear: I could not put this book down -- the stakes are so high and personal! But in the end I didn’t find this a wholly satisfying mystery because much of the tension is the result of Charlotte concealing a lot about her suspicions and plans. It’s fun watching Charlotte in disguise, and I don’t mind some misdirection, nor Charlotte keeping thoughts to herself. That fits with her character. But the extent of it felt contrived. Disappointment aside, I liked the journey, thought one of the twists was handled with particular deftness, and I am eager to read the sequel.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn (narrated by Saskia Maarlveld): A long, complex, powerful three-stranded story about war and its aftermath. In Boston in 1946, Jordan, a teenager passionate about photography, is suspicious of her new stepmother. In Germany in 1950, war correspondent Ian now hunts war criminals. And in Siberia before the war, Nina becomes a pilot. From the beginning, this was interesting, with tense scenes. But I wasn’t strongly invested, and I was unsure of the narrative’s structure. As the story continued, I discovered that it is richer and more nuanced because of its structure --  and that I was becoming very attached to these characters. Surprisingly so.

The “Dear Professor” series by Penny Reid

Kissing Galileo: The description made me curious, so I looked at the sample chapters... and, unexpectedly, was convinced I should read this book. Because it’s smart and funny! And I liked how the characters deal with an awkward and potentially very problematic situation. (Emily works as a lingerie model, and when her professor visits the store, he doesn’t recognise her.) I really enjoyed the progression of their relationship -- how obviously they like each other’s company and care about each other, how they have an intellectual connection that goes hand-in-hand physical attraction, how they learn to understand each other better.

Kissing Tolstoy: The first book is about Emily’s friend Anna, who signs up for a Russian literature class, unaware that the professor is someone she accidentally had an almost-date with. This is a shorter than Kissing Galileo, nearly novella-length, and because I read them back-to-back, suffered somewhat in comparison -- it’s less complex, and features a professor who doesn’t deal quite so well with being attracted to one of his students. I wasn’t so convinced their relationship was a good idea. But there’s some entertaining awkwardness and people being opinionated about Russian literature. I liked Anna’s nerdy interests and her friendship with Emily.

Marriage of Inconvenience by Penny Reid: I was curious what else Reid has written and sometimes I like fake relationships stories.  This book makes a convoluted set-up feel plausible. I liked how Kat and Dan’s relationship developed, I liked the ratio of romance to plot, and I liked how involved and supportive all their friends were. But my enjoyment ebbed as I read, which is probably a reflection on what I want from this sort of story rather than on this book’s merits. I don’t find the corporate city setting very interesting or appealing.

Dr. Strange Beard by Penny Reid: I enjoy stories where characters are passionate about their interests.  In this, one of the characters is a vet but his job had no real presence in the story. What a waste.

A Desperate Fortune by Susanna Kearsley: Sara accepts a job decoding a ciphered diary from 1732. The diary is written by Mary, a half-Scottish woman raised in France, who agrees to disguise an Englishman by pretending to be his sister. I like how these two stories sit together. There’s a gentleness to Sara’s, as she discovers things she likes, including the sensory delights of winter in France and people who accept her. In contrast, Mary’s is full of danger, deception and the discomfort of travel. But there’s also subtle, common threads running throughout: life-changing choices and trusting people. I liked so many things in this book.

Echo in Onyx by Sharon Shinn: Brianna becomes the maid for the governor’s daughter, who has three “echoes”. When one of Marguerite's echoes is killed defending Marguerite, Brianna disguises herself as the echo so that they can conceal the incident. The concept of echoes is unusual and Shinn has clearly given careful thought to how they would affect society and daily life for those who have them, as well as reasons for their existence.  I wasn’t surprised by the final twists, because I know how Shinn usually deals with injustice, but parts were still quite tense. And I liked Brianna’s attitude -- so sunny and resourceful and loyal.

A House of Rage and Sorrow by Sangu Mandanna: I really liked A Spark of White Fire so I was surprised by my reaction to this sequel. Halfway through, I was pushing myself to stay focused and just wanted to cross it off the list. So I left it there. I don’t know if there was something in the pacing or the first book’s ending which stopped me from caring -- or if I just wasn’t in the mood to read about rage and sorrow and things going to hell in a handbasket. I might try again one day. I did like the first one.

[cdelint]

Photo by Al Bogdan

On the first weekend in November 2018 I received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the World Fantasy Convention. Great though the honour was, initially I was reluctant to make the trip down to Baltimore to receive it in person due to the political climate in the US. But MaryAnn and various friends wore me down until I finally agreed to go. I’m glad I did.

I saw little of the pettiness and bullying that the current White House administration espouses except from one particularly obnoxious TSA agent as we were leaving the country. Most of my time was spent in the cocoon of the convention hotel where the civility and warmth of the attendees was the rule. I got to spend time and chat with so many wonderful readers and my peers—most of whom I hadn’t seen since the WFC in Saratoga Springs back in 2015.

Highlights were hanging with Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Evonne T., Charles Vess & Karen Shaffer, Ellen Klages and Leslie Howle throughout the weekend. Making music with the vastly talented Sarah Pinsker. A visit to the aquarium and the walk we took to Evonne’s recommendation of Faidley’s where we had the very best of crab cakes. Watching Greg Manchess do a live portrait of Michael Swanwick. Being surprised by Sara Felix flying up from Austin for Saturday night just to see us. Making new friends such as Linda Addison and Clarence “Zig Zag” Young. A dinner with Betsy Wolheim, another with Joe Monti. Sharing a table at the banquet with Joe & Gay Haldeman. Finally meeting Jonathan Strahan after so many years of only electronic communication.  Receiving my award from my editor at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Gordon Van Gelder. Being able to cheer for Ellen Klages when she won her award for her book Passing Strange and Greg for his win as Best Artist. The opening speech by Linda Addison and the acceptance speeches by Fonda Lee and Natalia Theodoridou.

Here’s the speech I gave when accepting my award:

First of all I’d like to thank the judges for this honour—it’s an especially good year for it to happen since I’m sharing it with Betsy Wolheim, the heart behind DAW Books. I’ve been enjoying DAW Books from when they first burst upon the scene with their distinctive yellow spines to the present day where they still publish some of my favourite writers such as Tanya Huff and Seanan McGuire.

I’d also like to send out my appreciation to the con committee for all their kindness and help.

No one wants to hear a long rambling acceptance speech—less is more, after all—but an honour such as this only comes around once in a lifetime and there are a number of people I really need to thank for their help and support in making my career what it is.

The impulse in a situation such as this to name and thank everyone who has ever been a part of this journey I embarked on back in the seventies when I stopped being the person who wrote simply for fun and the need to tell stories and became someone who still loves and appreciates his career but also wants to make a living doing it. So I do want to thank everyone who has supported me through the years. All of the editors I’ve been lucky enough to work with—and especially Tom Doherty, Patrick Nielsen Hayden and all the folks at Tor who gave my books a home for so many years. My peers and friends for their support and my agent Russ Galen who’s treated me so well and is always ready to try something new.

And of course all the readers who continue to make my career a viable possibility. I have the best readers in the world and because of them I have the best job in the world.

But I would like to specifically thank a few people who made a real difference.

My buddy Rodger Turner has been along on this journey since the very beginning. We both started out as readers. While I went on to write, Rodger has been more behind the scenes, owning an indie book store for a while, doing a little publishing, serving on the WFC executive and doing websites for the likes of World Horror, The Magazine of F&SF and authors like Tim Powers and myself. He’s been a support through all the ups and down of my career and we still get together to talk books once a week.

Terri Windling started out as my editor and became a friend who, if I get to pick a family of choice, is definitely my sister. In terms of my writing she’s the one who encouraged me to keep telling stories in a contemporary setting and, especially in the early years, gave them a home. She also taught me more about writing and my own voice than any number of writing tutorials and editors combined.

When I first started writing dinosaurs still roamed the world and we communicated by writing letters. That’s how I met Charles Vess and it’s how we knew each other for many years. We were in pretty much the same place with our respective careers and cheered each other on in amidst yakking about the books, art and music we loved. Since those early days we’ve collaborated on a number of projects but the thing I still like best is hanging around with him and his wife Karen—who I might add, is a trickster, so be careful what you wish for around her. A hundred years from now they’ll be telling Karen stories in the Virginia hills just as they tell Jack stories now.

Nina Kiriki Hoffman hasn’t been as much an influence on my writing as on my life. She lives every day to its fullest and I can assure you that you won’t go wrong in a confusing situation to ask yourself, what would Nina do? If it’s not always the right thing it’s invariably the most fun.

I also count Leslie Howle among the dear friends that came my way through my writing. I know many of you have experienced her generous hospitality and encouragement first hand. We should all have such steadfast friends cheering us on.

Lastly I want to thank my wife MaryAnn although saying thanks seems so inadequate. She should be standing up here with me. We’ve been a partnership for decades and without her participation in my career I probably wouldn’t be in front of you accepting this honour. So this one’s for you, dear heart, and may we keep making stories for many years to come. And we might even share a few of the ones that get written down.

We live in a divisive and perilous time—not simply in this country or my home province of Ontario, but all over the world. To my American friends, I hope you’ve registered to vote. And if you have I urge you to go out and exercise that right on Tuesday.

Remember that democracy is not a free ride but a responsibility.

[illustratedtapes]

Illustrated Tapes ✕ International Women’s Day Curated by Jade Moore 8 March 2019

➔ spoti.fi/2EIqhNS Listening in order recommended

Jade is an illustrator and printmaker based between Cheltenham and South London.

Hey Jade! Thanks so much for putting together our IWD tape. How did this theme inform your musical choices?

A playlist for International Women’s Day has to be representative and celebratory of all women, so I made a conscious effort to create a playlist that was inclusive of a range of female voices and musical styles. 

I wanted this playlist to feel empowering and inspiring so I chose artists whose creativity, originality and confidence inspire me, and no doubt countless other women across the world. I tried to pick a balance of songs that expressed some different experiences of what it is to be a woman as well as songs that make you feel like an independent, defiant and confident woman.

What does IWD mean to you?

It’s an opportunity to honour those women who through history have fought for gender equality, and to celebrate and elevate those who continue to fight today, particularly those whose voices are marginalised in society. 

International Women’s Day is a day of celebration of women and womanhood but it’s also important to remember and understand that every woman has a different story and a different day-to-day experience. IWD is an important day to recognise that being a woman is not the same experience for a white woman as it is to a black woman, an asian woman, a Latina, a disabled woman, a trans woman or a muslim woman. IWD serves as a reminder that we have to acknowledge these experiences and understand that women need each other in order for us to all be equals in society. 

Can you tell us a little bit about your artwork for the tape?

A lot of my favourite albums by female artists feature the artist centre stage (for example, A Seat at the Table by Solange, Blood by Lianne La Havas, CrazySexyCool by TLC and Blue by Joni Mitchell to name a few). I’ve always loved these types of album covers where the woman is the sole figure, standing proud and defiant, so my artwork was an homage to this. 

I chose to do a lino print for the powerful boldness, the immediacy and striking effect of the medium, which I feel reflects a lot of the songs in the playlist.

Who are some of your fave women in visual art?

Currently my favourite female illustrators/printmakers include Malika Favre, Helen Li, Laura Callaghan, Chiara Ghigliazza, Charlot Kristensen, Kat Flint, Sara Andreasson, Manjit Thapp, Marylou Faure, Gizem Vural, Núria Tamarit... honestly I could go on for ages. A great way to find new artists is searching through #visiblewomen on twitter and Instagram and looking at womenwhodraw.com. I’ve found so many artists I love looking at those pages, and seeing how many talented women there are making art always makes me so happy and inspired.

Some of my favourite female painters, whose striking depictions of women have always stayed with me, are Tamara de Lempicka, Frida Kahlo and Lotte Laserstein. When I was a kid my mum had a book about Lempicka and I remember flicking through it and being so in awe of the women she painted, and she’s been one of my favourite artists ever since.

And how about from world of music?

Other than those previously mentioned, there are so many female musicians I’ve listened to growing up as well, as young up-and-coming female artists I’ve discovered more recently (most of whom feature in this playlist). Some of my favourites include Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone, Amy Winehouse, Laura Marling, First Aid Kit, Janelle Monae, Sade, Kehlani, Syd, Kali Uchis, Jamila Woods, Charlotte Dos Santos, Joy Crookes, Little Simz, Sampa the Great, Erykah Badu, Nadia Rose, Noname and Nao. Recently I’ve been listening to Biig Piig, Ray BLK, Mahalia, King Princess, JONES, Rosalía and Cleo Sol.

What did you listen to growing up?

I’ve always had pretty varied tastes; growing up in South London I was so lucky to live in an area that exposed me to so many different kinds of music. I used to spend hours watching MTV channels (mostly MTV Rocks and MTV Base) when I was a kid, so I mostly listened to rock, indie and R&B. I also went through a pretty intense emo phase for a few years, but I won’t go there. My dad has always really been into music and he works as a mastering engineer so I’ve been introduced to a lot of old rock, folk, pop and soul music by him throughout my life.

What’s happening in your creative world at the moment?

At the start of the year I left my home in London and relocated to Cheltenham, so at the moment I’m just keeping myself busy with personal work and developing my portfolio, whilst looking into what collaborative and creative opportunities the area has to offer. I’ve really been having fun drawing and making things that I enjoy, planning future projects and trying to identify my ‘style’ in my work. I’m always open to commissions or collaborations though, or just a friendly chat, so feel free to get in touch!

Where can we find you?

instagram.com/jade.moore.illustration twitter.com/jademooreillo facebook.com/Jade.moore.illustration

[mdwatchestv]

Emmy Blog 2k18: Monday’s Revenge

That's right it's that very special time! Except this time that very special time falls on a MONDAY AFTERNOON when I will be at my job working hard to craft non-Emmy nominated television for you all. I feel personally attacked by this scheduling.

Speaking of me, this is my second annual Emmy blog which means I have maintained this blog for over a year now! Yes that is correct I have actually shown commitment and follow-through on a project, I would like to thank the Academy.

Last year I was wildly unprepared for how long it would take to type such a blog so I'm not going to mess around with all the loving analysis of yesteryear. Also last year I simply had no idea how tired I would be this year, because I was too tired to imagine that far into the future. So you will get your analysis up front and then nothing but pure, unadulterated nominee sass.

As always we must mention last week’s Creative Arts Emmys-  Congratulations to the casting winners Nina Gold + Robert Sterne (The Crown), Meredith Tucker, Jeanie Bacharach and Cindy Tolan (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel) and Courtney Bright + Nicole Daniels (The Assassination of Gianni Versace). See these casting names, know them, learn them, love them. Also it's bullshit Megan was not given an Emmy For Megan #justiceformegan

 Last year I commented on how the Emmy's were beginning to reflect the increasing diversity in the television landscape. While progress on that front continues to be frustratingly slow, this year did boast a remarkable number of incredible roles for women! Not only are we seeing roles for women that extend beyond wives, mothers, and girlfriends, we are also seeing more series that STAR women! This year boasts some VERY EXCITING Best Actress categories, and I am HERE FOR IT. In contrast though most of the male categories are a total snooze fest, and the fact that AMC's The Terror wasn't nominated for ANYTHING shows that absolutely no one cracked the seal on their screeners.  With an increasingly populated television landscape, it seems like voters went to old favorites rather than branching out and discovering some new gems. On some level this is to be expected, but at that same time there is an increasing disparity between what is recognized at these kind of events, and what is airing. 

Okay on to the main event! Disclaimer: Once again these predictions are based on nothing but flights of fancy and raw gut instinct. 

Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Sara Bareilles (“Jesus Christ Superstar Live In Concert”) Penelope Cruz (“The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”) Judith Light (“The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”) Adina Porter (“American Horror Story: Cult”) Merritt Wever (“Godless”) Letitia Wright (“Black Museum” (Black Mirror))

God, wasn't AHS: Cult like six AHS's ago? Letitia Wright should win this because she won't get any other hardware for stealing Black Panther.

Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

Jeff Daniels (“Godless”) Brandon Victor Dixon (“Jesus Christ Superstar”) John Leguizamo (“Waco”) Ricky Martin (“The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”) Edgar Ramirez (“The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”) Michael Stuhlbarg (“The Looming Tower”) Finn Wittrock (“The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”)

There are plenty of actors I like, like in life here but.......sorry I fell asleep. 

Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie:

Antonio Banderas (“Genius: Picasso”) Darren Criss (“The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”) Benedict Cumberbatch (“Patrick Melrose”) Jeff Daniels (“The Looming Tower”) John Legend (“Jesus Christ Superstar”) Jesse Plemons (“USS Callister”)

This category is insane. What do we got, a second Jeff Daniels nomination, a Black Mirror, John Legend for acting, Harry Potter, Benedict Cumberbatch who always seems to sneak into the Emmys, and Antonio Banderas. I am trying really hard to have an opinion about this. I’m going to pick my boyfriend Darren Criss just so I can put a gif of him on this blog. 

Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie:

Laura Dern (“The Tale”) Jessica Biel (“The Sinner”) Michelle Dockery (“Godless”) Edie Falco (“The Menendez Murders”) Regina King (“Seven Seconds”) Sarah Paulson (“American Horror Story: Cult”)

Okay now here we go! Now this is a category! However the Laura Dern rule is in effect here, which is whenever Laura Dern is present in a category the choice MUST be Laura Dern.

Best Limited Series

“The Alienist” “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” “Genius: Picasso” “Godless” “Patrick Melrose”

Can none of the above be an answer?

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Louie Anderson (“Baskets”) Alec Baldwin (“Saturday Night Live”) Tituss Burgess (“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”) Brian Tyree Henry (“Atlanta”) Tony Shalhoub (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”) Kenan Thompson (“Saturday Night Live”) Henry Winkler (“Barry”)

Are we really nominating Alec Baldwin for that Trump impersonation? What a time to be alive. Tony Shalhoub is an Emmy darling, I think if he wins another he gets a free one on his punch card. Henry Winkler was pitch perfect on Barry, Kenan Thompson has been on SNL for a million years, and Brian Tyree Henry's performance on Atlanta is deceivingly effortless. I think Shalhoub, the Academy will likely have missed voting for him, it just comes so naturally to them. 

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Zazie Beetz (“Atlanta”) Alex Borstein (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”) Aidy Bryant (“Saturday Night Live”) Betty Gilpin (“GLOW”) Leslie Jones (“Saturday Night Live”) Kate McKinnon (“Saturday Night Live”) Laurie Metcalf (“Roseanne”) Megan Mullally (“Will & Grace”)

Yes once again the ladies are LIT, tearing it UP. But no one tore it harder, and more literally, than Betty freakin Gilpin.

Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:

Donald Glover (“Atlanta”) Bill Hader (“Barry”) Anthony Anderson (“Black-ish”) William H. Macy (“Shameless”) Larry David (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) Ted Danson (“The Good Place”)

This is a tough one, there are a lot of golden oldies here. I was surprised by how much I loved Bill Hader’s performance in Barry, but I think it was too weird and too dark to garner the votes needed. Atlanta had a lot of momentum and buzz last year,  not sure if the Academy is going to pour the same love two years in a row. I’m going to go with Ted Danson, he’s impeccable on The Good Place and he’s also Ted Danson!

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:

Pamela Adlon (“Better Things”) Rachel Brosnahan (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”) Tracee Ellis Ross (“Black-ish”) Allison Janney (“Mom”) Lily Tomlin (“Grace and Frankie”) Issa Rae (“Insecure”)

Ray Bro.

Best Comedy Series

“Atlanta” (FX) “Barry” (HBO) “Black-ish” (ABC) “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (HBO) “GLOW” (Netflix) “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Amazon) “Silicon Valley” (HBO) “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” (Netflix)

Unlike the Best Drama Series category, which I am going to drag through the dirt at the end of this post, there is a lot of goodness here. These shows are not only very different, but also compelling in their own ways. (Although The Good Place absolutely deserves to be here). While I fell in love with Barry this year, and think Atlanta has maintained a consistent brilliance for two seasons, I think the delightful confection that is Mrs Maisel has the awards momentum to take this category. 

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (“Game of Thrones”) Peter Dinklage (“Game of Thrones”) Joseph Fiennes (“The Handmaid’s Tale”) David Harbour (“Stranger Things”) Mandy Patinkin (“Homeland”) Matt Smith (“The Crown”)

And just like that my Betty Gilpin high has dissipated. I can't believe Homeland is still on. Do we reward David Harbour for having the perfect dad bod, or Matt Smith for being the perfect fuckboy? Decisions, decisions. If Matt Smith wins he needs to break that trophy in half and give it to Claire Foy. He can keep the globey part, but she gets the body and the stand. 

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Alexis Bledel (“The Handmaid’s Tale”) Millie Bobby Brown (“Stranger Things”) Ann Dowd (“The Handmaid’s Tale”) Lena Headey (“Game of Thrones”) Vanessa Kirby (“The Crown”) Thandie Newton (“Westworld”) Yvonne Strahovski (“The Handmaid’s Tale”)

I had to consciously uncouple from The Handmaid’s Tale this year, but that doesn’t mean those actresses stopped being brilliant in their performances. Ann Dowd is a Laura Dern in the sense that I will usually always pick her in a category, but Thandie Newton did arguably carry season 2 of Westworld almost on her own. There are a lot of good unique performances here, but I am going to say Vanessa Kirby because she crushed on The Crown (and for the last time). 

Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Jason Bateman (“Ozark”) Sterling K. Brown (“This Is Us”) Ed Harris (“Westworld”) Matthew Rhys (“The Americans”) Milo Ventimiglia (“This Is Us”) Jeffrey Wright (“Westworld”)

Guys can we be really, really honest with ourselves, like look in the mirror and come face-to-face with cold hard truths honest? WERE these the best performances this year? I love all these guys, but are they really turning in their best performances on these shows? Truly? The only exception is Matthew Rhys who is in his final year of a tour-de-force role on The Americans so my money is on him. 

Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Claire Foy (“The Crown”) Tatiana Maslany (“Orphan Black”) Elisabeth Moss (“The Handmaid’s Tale”) Sandra Oh (“Killing Eve”) Keri Russell (“The Americans”) Evan Rachel Wood (“Westworld”)

Now, this, THIS IS A CATEGORY. LOOK AT THESE WOMEN.  I love all of these actresses, and some of these performances are truly among the best I've ever seen on television. That is not a hyperbole, it is a true. I would be happy with almost anyone winning this slot, but I really feel like Sandra Oh is going to take it. I FEEL IT OKAY. 

Best Drama Series

“The Handmaid’s Tale” “Game of Thrones” “This Is Us” “The Crown” “The Americans” “Stranger Things” “Westworld”

KILLING EVE IS THE BEST DRAMA SERIES OF THIS YEAR AND ITS EXCLUSION IS A HORRIBLE MISTAKE!!!!! Like IS Westworld REALLY the Best Drama Series??? IS IT? Is Game of Thrones??? Yes they are highly enjoyable and I watch them both, but are they THE BEST? REALLY? Was Stranger Things season 2 THE BEST, or are we just charmed by the children? Was The Handmaid’s season 2 THE BEST, or did we just vote for it out of habit and a misguided feeling that it’s win would stave off Kavanaugh’s confirmation? The Americans should win. 

Okay I feel good now that that’s off my chest. I have a lot of thoughts of feelings, and please let me know yours! Phoebe Waller-Bridge forever!

xo Martha

[perfectly-twisted]

2017 TV Show Thoughts - Not Including Stranger Things Season 2

**Waiting until finals are over to watch season 2 of Stranger Things but I have a feeling it would’ve been/will be in my favorite category anyway because I LOVE the show

***THESE ARE MY OPINIONS FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE! Even if a show disappointed me this past season doesn’t mean I won’t still give it a chance in the future!

****For TV Show that aired over the Fall- I have not watched ANY of the new episodes/season with the exception of my #1 favorite tv show of 2017

Disappointing Tv Seasons/Series:

5.  The 100 - Season 4

It was sad because we lost so many amazing characters in season 3, but season 4 for the most part things didn’t heat up (pun intended) until last 3-4 episodes, which was the best part of the season. The season as whole wasn’t that great and we did lose one of my favorite characters (again) but it wasn’t the worst, it was still somewhat entertaining.....    

4. Girl Meets World - Season 3 & Series Finale

WARNING SPOILERS: The once funny/goofy show fell hard on season 3, with stupid plot twists and being super cliché when it came to the “ships” of the show it just wasn’t that great. Very disappointing. They dumbed down Riley and here I thought they were going to do a whole deep storyline about how she was acting more childish because she was scared of the idea of growing up after high school, but nope, even when the writers talked about what they were planning if they got another season, it wasn’t there! And don’t get me started on the whole Maya becoming Riley “twist” which made NO sense to me. I think I can count the amount of good episodes of this season on 1 hand. Since this show was based on Boy Meets World I was expecting SO much more, but then again maybe it shouldn’t have been on Disney to start with.

 3. Supergirl - Season 2 

It was honestly just bland, but the show needed to get it’s footing now that it’s on the CW, but I was just barreling through the episodes waiting for the good part and that didn’t really happen. I also didn’t care for/about Kara & Mon El (Even though I loved Chris Wood since I first saw him on TVD back in season 6) which was a huge part of the season. The only good additions to the season was Tyler Hoechlin (loved him from Teen Wolf) , Katie McGrath (LOVED her since Merlin) and giving James SOMETHING to do, aside from being a once love interest. 

 2. The Flash - Season 3

It felt like a “been there, done that” season, yet ANOTHER speedster villain as the big bad… The reveal took too long and was disappointing. Flashpoint was a waste but it’s great as a loophole for the writers to explain something that doesn’t make sense, just blame it on Flashpoint…  The two parts of the season don’t seem to flow together and the season finale was very disappointing due to the fact that it was basically a combination of the season 1 & 2 finale. Iris West was basically just a plot device this season, so disappointing. HR, Cisco, Joe and Wally were the best characters this season. 

1. Pretty Little Liars - Season 7 & Series Finale

WOW. JUST WOW. I have loved this show since the first season and read most of the books, so I was ready for an epic and well deserved ending….But I was horribly wrong. This season and the finale was just SO DISSAPPOINTING. We got a half assed ending, which we only got because the original A.D. actor couldn't stay long for the finale (seriously that’s why they didn’t go another route) and they pulled a plot twist THAT THEY USED BEFORE ON OTHER CHARACTERS in the show and was one of the major plot twists from the books. The fanbase is VERY VOCAL when the writers do something they don’t like, so it felt like everything became fanservice to please fans and everything just didn’t make sense anymore. If you thought the Gossip Girl ending was bad, just don’t watch this. To quote Emily “I WASTED SO MUCH TIME ON YOU”   

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Overhyped TV Shows:

5. A Series of Unfortunate Events - Season 1

As a fan of the books I just didn’t enjoy the show as much as other people, I mostly had to power through the episodes to finish it. I was mostly cringing when I watched it. With the show coming out on Netflix in January with only 8 episodes, it took me about 4-5 months to finish them. I just didn’t enjoy it. I was expecting something different, and I have an open mind if I don’t like a show at first but I couldn’t get over this. If there’s another season I may watch it due to curiosity, but I’ll try to go into a new season with different perspective. 

4.  Young & Hungry - Season 5

They recycle the “will they, won’t they” storyline too much and makes the chase for the couple that you’re supposed to want to get together just unbearable to watch. The only good parts of this show is when Sofia and/or Yolanda are on the screen. Still sad Young & Sofia didn’t get picked up; Gabi is much better and more interesting as a side character. I mostly watch this show now when I’m bored or need to laugh. 

3. The Fosters - Season 5

CAN THIS SHOW JUST END?! I do admit I watch the new seasons when it comes on Netflix and loved this show when it first started but now it’s just another show where they’re recycling storylines between characters. Between replacing actors, boring storylines, no character development for most of the “kids or teens”, and just reaching for more or wildly odd drama is just too much for me. Stef and Lena are the only characters I like now. 

2. Riverdale - Season 1

It’s a good show, I like most of the cast and the actors are good. I do like  and very much enjoy Riverdale, but it’s becoming larger than life and the hype has just been too much for me, personally. I do still recommend it, but it’s not the best thing since sliced bread, you know what I mean? I will probably watch season 2 after finals when they go on hiatus. 

1. 13 Reasons Why - Season 1

Okay, you knew this was probably coming with the overhype title. I really loved this show, it’s just with all the hype around it and it getting renewed for an unnecessary season 2 is the final nail in the coffin for me. (pun not intended) Hannah’s story has been told and they could’ve easily made a 2 hour movie to end the cliff hangers from season 1 instead of milking the show that was supposed to raise awareness. I don’t think I will be watching season 2, but who knows. 

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Favorite TV Seasons/Series:

9. Baby Daddy - Season 6 & Series Finale

I enjoyed this season, it was just as funny and entertaining as others. Everything was just tied up in a little bow as the “perfect” ending. I would’ve liked to see just one more season from this show to feel fully satisfied. I am sad that this show didn’t get renewed because it’s “competitor” Young & Hungry just recycles the same relationship storyline and gets renewed.

8. Switched at Birth - Season 5 & Series Finale

Let me just say that I’m biased towards Bay, she is by far my favorite character on this show and I have loved (almost) all of her storylines and this season was no different, we really got to see her and Daphne mature. It was a great ending to the series, I just wish they would’ve been able to get 20-22 episodes for the season to finish up some other characters storylines in more than just 5 minutes. But hey, at least they made sure everything and everyone had an ending. I also appreciate how they tackle more serious subjects with racism this season, it was so different that subjects that they have discussed in the past.

7. Legends of Tomorrow - Season 2

This season just got wacky and random but I really loved it. Nate and Amaya were great additions to the team and it was great to see Sara as captain. She did do a much better job than Rip. I also liked the character development for Mick, one of the best developments from the Arrowverse. They also brought in some great villains this season as well. Only complaint: USE FIRESTORM MORE THE HE’S AWESOME AND MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYONE ON THAT SHOW. I will be catching up on all the DCTV shows after finals as well. 

6. The Originals - Season 4

I just enjoy this show so much, there was A LOT less romance this season which was great! We really got to dive more into Vincent’s (who is one of the best characters) past as well as learn more about the werewolves. I loved that they brought back some characters this season. I also like how they sorta tribute horcruxes from Harry Potter in the finale with the main cast. (The solution very much reminded me personally, of horcruxes). I’m just not ready for this show to be over because season 5 will be the last season. 

5. Arrow - Season 5

After the DISASTER that was season 4 this season finally restored my faith in Arrow, the villain this season was not the most powerful, but was the most effective and really made Oliver come to his breaking point. On top of that they revealed the big bad identity to the audience first and I personally love seeing the villain unmasked playing our heroes in the daylight without them knowing it. 

4. Prison Break - Seasons 1-5

Just an amazing show, I finished it so fast. There’s great character development and great actors. I still think the first season is the best, there’s a few plot twists that I don’t really understand, but it might be because I didn’t get a chance to watch the revival this year. But I’m ready to binge the original series again! (I was unable to watch the season/revival that aired this year)

3. The Vampire Diaries - Season 8 & Series Finale

WARNING SPOILERS: They brought out all the stops they could think of for this season, between shocking and sometimes unfair deaths to bringing back characters for one last victory lap this season didn’t disappoint. To be nitpicky I would’ve loved to see Nina Dobrev for more than just 1 episode, have Stelena be endgame due to Nina and Ian’s lack of chemistry, and Bonnie get something a little bit better than traveling the world. In the end though I really liked how all of my favorite characters ended up being happy and that Bonnie didn’t die, plus I’m ready for Klaroline on The Originals.

2. Reign - Season 4 & Series Finale

 If you’re looking for a historically accurate, to the books tv show then this isn’t for you. I had to get over that when I decided to pick this show back up this year. I binged it from start to end when season 4 arrived on Netflix and my opinions completely changed. I watch shows and movies to check out of my reality for a little while and this show just really grabbed me, plus when events don’t go historically accurate, I have the need to look up how they really went. I think this show needed one more season, but due to the lower ratings they couldn’t pull it off. Considering that they were told only a few weeks before filming their season 4 finale that it was actually going to be their series finale they pulled it off way better than other shows that ended this year. I have to give props to the writers on this one for actually KNOWING where they wanted their characters to end up at the end of the series in advance. 

1. The Good Place - Season 1

I CAN’T STOP WATCHING IT. It’s forking hilarious! (If you watch the show you’ll get it) I love all of the actors and their characters are all so different and funny. Each character has their own unique sense of humor. Also when they tell you things that can people sent to the bad place is hilarious! I hope to get so many more seasons of this show. Such an underdog on tv right now, I can see this show going to the same level of HIMYM or Friends. Because of the twist I can’t give away too many details, but you won’t regret watching it! 

[krystlind]

my truth; what it do

look to the future with confidence, laugh

know that your God has the bigger pieces, you don’t need to know which small ones make up the big ones

Jesus is your final strategy

you’re sourcing validation from within, you’re learning how to do that. it’s going great!

the people that matter to you, you are letting that fill your soul, fill you

everything is here to help you

you’re on the right path

things, opportunities, people are coming your way

your growth and expansion is happening fast

God can redeem that past years

this is the part where you learn to rise from the economy of online, and see you’re doing something bigger

you are so beyond blessed, and so on the right path

you went through a lot the past 4 years, a lot of weeding out those certain things in you too. the lying to self, the deceit, you’ve learned to slow down, ground, get rooted, not want the deceit or the superficiality. you don’t want it anymore. you’ve learned and you’ve forgiven yourself. this time is different. and you know, that you’re not going back to your old self. this time, you are here for yourself and are becoming that higher self. 

you will be up there in the big leagues, those will be your people

you will be free from this

you are grounded, you are rooted, your roots are getting deeper

you are showing up with your authentic voice every day

you are building a multi media platform

you will work out the kinks, and make it smooth and running

everything is here to help you

you will be compassionate and more generous

you are developing an abundance mindset

you are seeking first the kingdom and righteousness, and things are being added

every day, surely, that thing is getting smaller and you are getting bigger

what are you so grateful for?

Sara, her friendship, staying at her house. how pretty it was

i walked around, the house, and thought, i know. that i will be one day, walking in my own house, decorated and designed the way I want to. and my partner will be there, making coffee, he is off to his great thing. but he is kissing hugging me, before i go and talk. uplifting me and proud of me. i am proud of him too. we are partners in crime. we respect each other so much.

i feel like the people i’m having in my life, are just gifting me with these pieces of like, oh yeah, that’s what i want. that’s what’s healthy.

i see it in sara and her partner. the beauty they’ve created around them. the partnership. the trust, the communication. the allyship.

I know I am so good at community creating. at being so in tune with the community need and forming it. having a 6th sense of what the “soul need” of the people. and creating it. 

did that with stillness, social media detox, book club, etc

did that with this pinay meet up. everyone loved it! nina came all the way, jeanelle got so excited and is already trying to recreate it

i create things that people didn’t know how much they needed it

i think i just create the tools and space for people to have permission to feel into that, that growth

It just feels so good, to have this sisterhood. these are like minded women, we get each other. me and Sara are like on the same level. 

thank you God! for bringing us together. i hope you continue to bless us.

for the speaking opportunity and the goodness that I can can bring through my truth, my advocacy and voice

the 5k sign ups, the book club, the club house!

where is this all going? idk. but i’m having fun!! and i know my leadership is so capable.

i may be feeling like i’m still not good enough, but i know that’s just one thing im feeling, and it’s one of thing of the many other things, and i believe the other things to be true

that i am so good at what i do in this

that i have a unique role to bring in this time, very unique

that i am helping with a shift

that i am learning and growing

that i am changing people’s lives

what’s keeping me right now? how quick do you think you can get it done?

wordpress->another domain

player on my website

a smooth, running podcast process

guests lined up for the rest of year, and for every guest, date, release, and edit, no longer thinking of it

how much i touch it is very minimal, it is seamless

[sciencespies]

Meet Barbara Dane and Her Proud Tradition of Singing Truth to Power

https://sciencespies.com/history/meet-barbara-dane-and-her-proud-tradition-of-singing-truth-to-power/

Meet Barbara Dane and Her Proud Tradition of Singing Truth to Power

Smithsonian Voices Smithsonian Center For Folklife & Cultural Heritage

How Barbara Dane Carries a Proud Tradition of Singing Truth to Power

March 8th, 2021, 12:00AM / BY Theodore S. Gonzalves

Barbara Dane with the Chambers Brothers at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival. (Photo by Diana Davies, Ralph Rinzler Folklife Archives)

There are times when a songwriter, a song, and a moment come together to make an impact beyond anyone’s expectations. That’s precisely what happened when Los Angeles-based songwriter Connie Kim (on stage, she’s MILCK) performed “Quiet” during the Women’s March in Washington, D.C, on January 21, 2017.

Originally written a year before the march with Adrian Gonzalez to address Kim’s personal trauma from an abusive relationship, they turned pain into power: “I can’t keep quiet / A one-woman riot.” A year later, the song served a wider purpose and a much larger audience.

Starting with smaller groups of women singing a cappella in different locations throughout the country, and without the benefit of in-person, live rehearsals, Kim found herself on the National Mall. She’s heard of choirs in Ghana, Sweden, Australia, Philadelphia, New York City, and Los Angeles singing “Quiet.” Her “one-woman riot” grew to millions: “Let it out now / There’ll be someone who understands.”

Kim concedes, “It’s not my song. It’s our song.”

Today on International Women’s Day, it’s time to connect the newest generation of songwriters like MILCK to a long and proud tradition of singing truth to power.

Since the 2016 presidential election, millions of people have found themselves in the streets, holding signs, chanting, singing, occasionally braving inclement weather, and probably meeting others they never expected to know. “I never thought I’d be out here, for hours,” many have said, some taking to protest for the first time in their lives. Maybe it was what was said on the campaign trail, how it was said, or simply who was saying it. For all the first-timers out there, no matter how they feel about the politics of the day, people finding connection in the streets should know that singer-agitator Barbara Dane has been connecting audiences and marchers for years, decades even.

Barbara Dane (left) at the 1966 Newport Folk Festival. (Photo by Diana Davies, Ralph Rinzler Folklife Archives)

As a teen, Dane sang for striking autoworkers in her hometown of Detroit. She attended the Prague Youth Festival in 1947 and connected local protest with stories of young people from around the world. With a natural gift for swinging and singing the blues, she launched a career in jazz that caught the attention of some of the greatest on the scene, like Louis Armstrong. By the end of the 1950s, Dane was featured in Ebony magazine, the first white woman to be featured in those pages and photographed with blues greats.

Forget about the sublime images of suburban life on TV from the 1950s. The postwar years saw millions taking up the banner of decolonization and national liberation. Americans couldn’t ignore those tides and neither could Barbara Dane. Her protest music took her to Mississippi Freedom Schools, free speech rallies at UC Berkeley, and in the coffeehouses where active-duty men and women steered clear of military police and regulations forbidding protests on bases. Dane was seemingly everywhere, leading chants, reinterpreting songs by Woody Guthrie, Pete Seeger, and Sara Ogan Gunning.

By the late 1960s, Dane took up an invitation to visit Cuba, where she was greeted warmly. Did she care about the U.S. State Department’s admonition against making the visit? Her response was sharp and clear: “We’re a country that promotes freedom, so why can’t this free person go where she wants to go?”

It’s no accident that Dane found kindred spirits among the ranks of singers and songwriters working in the nueva canción genre. This was a popular music that celebrated a constellation of impulses and influences, ranging from local, indigenous, folk, and ethnic instrumentation, stylizing, and vocalizing, to lyrics that were political, socially aware, defiant, or even comedic at times. Her Havana trip not only gave her a strong anchor in nueva canción for reference, but she also found singer-songwriters from Europe and Asia who shared those passions and interests.

Album art from Paredon Records (Ralph Rinzler Folklife Archives)

These connections formed the basis of Paredon Records, the recording label she founded with Irwin Silber, a skilled critic and record producer. From 1970 to 1985, Dane and Silber released fifty albums that documented protest music from around the world. The musical messages reflected the stakes and the hopeful dreams of millions trying to make sense of a world dominated by superpowers with world-ending weaponry.

The songs and the writers came from every corner: students from Thailand and the Dominican Republic. Activists from Chile. Mass-party workers from the Philippines and Italy. Working-class rock by Brooklynite Bev Grant, anti-imperialist folk by Berkeley’s Red Star Singers, and anti-patriarchal songs by the New Harmony Sisterhood Band. But don’t think you can reduce Dane’s Paredon collection to merely strident messaging.

Throughout the catalog, you feel Dane’s attention to what it can mean to link the songwriter, the song, and the moment into something soulful and personal. Many of the musicians featured on Paredon trusted Dane because she was also an experienced singer in addition to being the label’s co-founder, writer of dozens of liner notes, and producer. She had the practical experience of knowing life as a working musician in an industry and in social movements dominated by men. She more than held her own. Audiences trusted her politics and attitude. And fellow musicians heard in Dane’s voice the hard life of singing for your living.

Getting out on the road and performing kept her vital and engaged. For Dane, as she explained in the liner notes to Barbara Dane Sings the Blues, the road taught her

what it means to be alive, to value life above anything and rage like a tiger to keep it… to spend it with care instead of trading it for a new car or a fur coat… to treasure the moments that are real between human beings without counting the cost or trying to bargain, because there’s no price on that beauty. The only thing we have, really, is our time alive, and I don’t think they’ve printed enough to buy mine. How about yours?

Folk musician Len Chandler talks with Barbara Dane at a major rally for the Poor People’s Campaign in Washington, D.C., 1968. (Photo by Diana Davies, Ralph Rinzler Folklife Archives)

It’s not too late for MILCK to meet up with Dane. I had the chance to catch Dane’s eighty-fifth birthday concert, where she sold out the Freight and Salvage in Berkeley, California. For the first set, her quintet backed her as she delivered a slate of jazz and blues standards. After the intermission, members of her family performed—her daughter, Nina, singing flamenco; her two sons, Jesse and Pablo, and her grandson on guitar. Toward the very end of the evening, she brought up her entire family, spanning four generations, and had her great-granddaughter step up to the mic to sing.

It was getting late into the evening, and I was going to miss my train back into the city. I left just as Dane led the crowd through chorus after rousing chorus of “We Shall Not Be Moved.” I could hear her strong voice fade as I hit the street and descended into the subway station.

I hope MILCK gets a chance to see Dane, now ninety, perform live. Or maybe they could teach each other their favorite songs. Both of them, so much more than a one-woman riot.

Above, watch Barbara Dane sing and share stories during the 2020 Smithsonian Folklife Festival’s Sisterfire SongTalk.

Find the two-disc retrospective of Barbara Dane’s recordings, Hot Jazz, Cool Blues & Hard-Hitting Songs, and a vinyl reissue of Barbara Dane and the Chambers Brothers for sale from Smithsonian Folkways Recordings. You can also explore the history, messages, and art of Paredon Records in a new online exhibition.

Theodore S. Gonzalves is curator of Asian Pacific American history at Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History. He is currently writing a cultural history of Paredon Records.

#History

[deadparrish]

BOOKS READ IN 2017

total count: 78

goodreads: punknicole

i’m going to give a rating and a brief review of each book— just a sentence or two, depending on how much i remember about the book. this is mostly for fun, but I hope someone gets some use out of this! happy new year and happy reading! and, of course, possible spoilers ahead. 

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson: 5/5. Everyone and their mother has read this, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. I really enjoyed this book because I found it difficult to support just one specific character— everyone had flaws and they were all multi-dimensional. I appreciated the fact that each part of the story eventually matched up with the others. 

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon: 4/5. This was a cute book. I didn’t have too many strong feelings about it when I first read it, but it was enjoyable in a passing way. I thought the diversity was really wonderful but it was a bit overhyped.

The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater: 5/5. I was rereading this and I loved it even more than the first time I read it. I feel like if you follow me you’ve probably read this, since this is a mostly trc blog, so I won’t go too deep into this. It’s wonderful. 

The Color Purple by Alice Walker: 5/5. I loved this a lot!!!! I think that the style it was written in is really interesting and the fact that it’s about a black lesbian is wonderful. It’s also a classic so I’d say that this should be on everyone’s reading list!!

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavik: 4/5. I never got as into these as everyone else seemed to. It was good and I read it really quickly, but it isn’t something I’d want to read again? I only read it because it had lgbt+ representation and honestly I think that’s all it has going for it. 

The Raven King by Nora Sakavik: 4/5. Again, I read this really quickly. I can’t really remember what happens. I think this is the book that triggered me a bit— there was some pretty awful sexual assault. 

The King’s Men by Nora Sakavik: 4/5. I remember being really disappointed in the ending, but I’m not sure why. I think I expected something a little more dramatic. Again, I read the whole trilogy over the span of two days, so it all kind of blended together. I’d suggest reading these so you can understand what all the tumblr posts are about, but they aren't my favorite. 

The Elements of Style by William Strunk JR. and E. B. White: 4/5. Ah, the first book that I finished that was for school! This was basically a mini textbook, and I found it really informative if a bit dry at times. I’d recommend reading it if English is something that you’re passionate about.

Another Day by David Levithan: 2/5. This was awful. I had high hopes for it, because I really liked Every Day, but this just gives you insight into how awful the main character is. It’s completely unnecessary, and I wish I hadn’t read it. 

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: 5/5. I LOVED THIS!!! I read it for school and I absolutely fell in love. It’s extremely heavy handed on symbolism, but the language is so beautiful. I have a twitter thread about how I think that Nick is in love with Gatsby here. 

We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson: 5/5. I really liked this too, and I recently gave this to my mom and grandma to read and they loved it too!! I think that the storyline was really interesting and it dealt with some really existential issues about life, which I always really enjoy. 

You Know Me Well by David Levithan and Nina LaCour: 5/5. This was really cute!! I remember really enjoying the wlw representation in this, because most lgbt books focus on white guys, so this was refreshing. 

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes: 5/5. I bawled my eyes out reading this. I can’t even explain it but it is... so fucking good. 

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway: 2/5. Ugh. I didn’t even finish this. I know it’s a classic, but I just really couldn’t get into it. I might try again in a few years but it just didn’t work for me. 

Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente: 5/5. I tried to find this books in stores for at least a year before I finally took the leap and ordered it online. I love it so much— it’s one of the first books on my reread list. The language is really beautiful and I love the aesthetic, but it is a bit dark.

Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls: 5/5. A book straight out of my childhood! I love it just as much as I did when I was a kid, and I cried even more than I did the last time I read it, which had to have been at least ten years ago. It’s timeless and beautiful and I think it’s a must-read!

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur: 4/5. Honestly, I think this book is a bit overhyped. I enjoyed some of the poems but it didn’t leave a huge lasting impact. 

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray: 3/5. This was a really fast read for me, and I sort of liked it? It was lighthearted and kind of funny and had incredible representation, but it wasn’t a favorite for me. 

The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde: 4/5. I love Oscar Wilde, so I’m a bit biased, but I thought this was enjoyable. It was clever and passingly funny, but I think it would be better to see it performed live. 

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini: 5/5. This was my second time reading this, and I loved it even more than I did the first time I read it. I read this for school the first time and I’d definitely recommend that everyone read it at least once! It’s an incredible story and it really touches your heart.

The Black Swan by Mercedes Lackey: 4/5. I consider this a guilty pleasure book but I’m not exactly sure why. I read it when I was really young, which might be part of the reason why, since it has some really mature themes, but it’s a good read. 

The May Queen Murders by Sarah Jude: 2/5. I remember seeing a lot of posts on here about this book, so I was disappointed when it ended up being really boring. I just didn’t like it, and I wouldn’t recommend it. 

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck: 4/5. I read this for school, and I’ll probably never pick it up again. I didn’t hate it, but it definitely wasn’t a favorite. I would recommend it, though, just because it’s a classic and it’s something that you Have To Read at least once. 

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan: 4/5. This was another book that I had really high expectations for because I saw a lot of hype for it on tumblr. I did like it, but it wasn’t life changing like I expected it to be. 

The Uncensored Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde: 5/5. This is probably my favorite book of all time. I can’t say enough good things about it, so just read it. 

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison: 5/5. This was incredible! It really makes you think about American standards of beauty and how that affects your day-to-day life. 

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros: 4/5. I’ll be honest, I feel like I missed a huge part of this book because I read it really quickly, but I still liked it. 

1984 by George Orwell: 5/5. Everyone needs to read this, especially in our current political climate. There are quite a few parallels between what happens in the novel an what’s happening today, and it’s really helpful when it comes to trying to understand what people on the news are talking about when they say we’re “living in 1984.”

This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp: 4/5. I remember being a little disappointed in this, but I still really liked it! I think I cried but I’m not super sure? I guess it didn’t leave as lasting of an impact as I thought it did, but I remember liking it as I read it. 

Vampirates: Tide of Terror by Justin Somper: 4/5. This is definitely a guilty pleasure book and I’m not ashamed to admit it. My cousin recommended them to me at least ten years ago and every so often I get into a phase where I want to reread them. The title is pretty self-explanatory— vampire pirates. 

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: 5/5. One of my favorite reads of the year! The narrative style is really interesting and it’s really beautifully written. I absolutely recommend it!!

The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson: 2/5. Ugh. Again, I couldn’t even finish this, and I’m not sure why. It just seemed so boring! I’ll try to reread it at some point but definitely not any time soon. 

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: 5/5. I really enjoyed this!! It also got me into the good graces of my english teacher this year (she saw me carrying it around school and talked to me about it) so I’d recommend it!

Animal Farm by George Orwell: 5/5. I first read this in middle school and really liked it, so I figured I’d reread it and see if it held up, and it did. It’s another classic that I think should be on everyone’s read list!

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner’s Dilemma by Trenton Lee Stewart: 5/5. These are really fun books that I’d recommend you read if you have a free afternoon! They’re clever, engaging, and easy to read. 

Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie: 3/5. I didn’t like this and I can’t remember exactly why. I think that it was a bit dry for my liking, although it might have just been because I didn’t like all the talk about mothers. Either way, I wouldn’t recommend it.

Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Calahan: 5/5. This was really interesting! I don’t usually read memoirs, but my mom gave this to me to read and I actually really liked it.

The Scorch Trials by James Dashner: 4/5. I’ve tried to get into the Maze Runner series a few times, but it never quite manages to get me interested enough. I liked this well enough but it didn’t leave me invested enough to go out and buy the next book in the series, so it’ll probably be another year (at least) before I revisit this series. Oh well. 

The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux: 4/5. The movie with Gerald Butler is yet another guilty pleasure of mine, so I really wanted to like this, but it kind of fell short. It was decent, but it took me a while to read, which always means that I’m not loving it. 

The Holy Bible: 1611 Edition, King James Version by Hendrickson Bibles (compiler): I can’t write a real review for this because I only read certain parts of it for school, but I counted it on my goodreads because I wanted it to count towards my 2017 reading challenge. It was interesting, I guess? 

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett: 4/5. I didn’t expect to like this as much as I did! The characters were really sweet and I enjoyed their growth, and the plot was interesting. 

Howl and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg: 4/5. I picked this up because I had just watched Kill Your Darlings and I wasn't as impressed as I wanted to be. There were some good poems but nothing that stuck with me.

The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. The beginning of my series of unfortunate events reread! I love these books a lot and they were a huge part of my childhood. Everyone should read these books! I don’t have much to say about each individual book but I’ll try to make a comment or two on each one. 

The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. I love snakes so this is one of my favorites out of the series! 

The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. This book helped create my tentative fear of heights. I always remember being horrified of the image of Aunt Josephines house. 

The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. Nothing about this one really ever stood out to me besides my own outrage at child labor. 

The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. This is my favorite of all the books!! I think it’s because I’ve always been obsessed with the idea of boarding school. 

The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. Climbing an elevator shaft would suck. 

The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. I would love to live in a village filled with crows. 

Mythology by Edith Hamilton: 5/5. I read this for school and it was really fascinating! I already knew a bit about Greek and Roman mythology (mostly because of Percy Jackson) but it was cool to learn more about it and Norse mythology. 

A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin: 5/5. All I have to say is that A Song of Ice and Fire is so much better than Game of Thrones. 

Witch & Wizard by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet:  3/5. I had found this in a box and wanted to reread it, and it wasn’t as good as I remember it being. It was a really fast read and fairly interesting, though, simply because of the magic. 

The Hostile Hospital by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. I feel like this is when the books really take a dark turn, which makes them really interesting to read. 

Blockade Billy by Stephen King: 5/5. I listen to this in the car with my dad whenever we take a long trip, and I always really enjoy it. There’s nothing super special about it, and I’ve never been super interested in books about sports, but this story is cool because it’s also about murder. 

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood: 5/5. This is amazing! It’s another book that’s been in the news a lot due to the Trump presidency, so I’d say give it a read simply because of that, but it’s incredible and should be read in its own right. A total cliffhanger ending. 

Witch & Wizard: The Gift by James Patterson and Ned Rust: 3/5. Honestly, I can’t remember what this was about. 

The Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket: 5/5. Those lions deserved better. 

Holes by Louis Sachar: 4/5. This is one of those books that you’re supposed to read as a kid that I never got around to. I did like it, but I think I would have liked it a lot better if I had read it ten years ago. 

How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster: 5/5. Another really awesome pseudo-textbook! It really teaches you a lot about certain aspects of literature that you’ve probably never thought about before, and it’ll really change the way you read! 

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll: 3/5. This was really boring for me to read and I’m not sure why. I think I just expected it to be something else, and I didn't really like it. 

Medea by Euripides, translated by Rex Warner: 4/5. My World Mythology class read this out-loud and it was really entertaining. It’s not a necessary read but it’s kind of fun. 

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge: 5/5. This is super hard to read so I’d definitely recommend paraphrasing it as you go, but it’s a classic, so you definitely need to read it at least once. 

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James: 3/5. Again, this was a book that I really wanted to like, but just couldn’t force myself to. I think I ended up skim-reading at least three-fourths of it. 

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks: 4/5. I think this is probably the first straight up romance novel that I’ve ever read, and I actually kind of liked it. It wasn’t my favorite, but it was cute and I cried a little bit at the end. 

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon: 5/5. This was excellent! I’d never read anything like this before, and the format was super unique as well, and it was all around a good read. It was also really sad and made me really uncomfortable at times, which I think speaks to how well it’s written. 

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: 5/5. Super good. I read this for class and I’m really thankful for that, since I think there’s a lot of deeper meaning to the book that I was able to examine thanks to class discussions. 

All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater: 4/5. I liked this okay, but it’s definitely not on the same level as The Raven Cycle. I really enjoyed the characters in this— they were all extremely different from one another, and that was refreshing. 

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins: 5/5. This started a minor obsession with murder/thriller novels!!! It was extremely well written and had me guessing until the end (I didn’t see the final twist coming!) I actually leant this to my mom and she also loved it! 

The Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien: 4/5. I was desperate to like this more than I actually did. There were parts of it that I really liked, and parts of it that had me literally falling asleep. 

Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding: 3/5. Ugh. I didn’t like this at all. It’s only redeeming factor was that it’s a really fast read. 

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber: 3/5. Extremely underwhelming. 

The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien: 5/5. I wasn’t super into this in the beginning, because I don’t like war books, but I had to read it for class and I ended up loving it by the end. There’s definitely some triggering content but the book mainly focuses on the idea of truth and storytelling, and it’s really fascinating! 

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson: 4/5. This was okay. I found myself getting annoyed with how dramatic everything was, but it’s a story about overcoming odds and finding strength within yourself, which I know some people are into. 

The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger: 3/5. Yikes. The narrator is so fucking annoying in this that I couldn’t take it seriously. I know it’s a classic, but I really didn’t like it. 

The Giver by Lois Lowry: 4/5. This is another book that I wish I had read in a classroom setting when I was a little younger because I feel like I missed out on a lot of the deeper meaning because I sped through it in an hour or two. I did really enjoy it, though. 

The Martian by Andy Weir: 4/5. This is one of the rare instances where I prefer the movie to the book. I liked this book okay, but there were big lengthy descriptions of the “science” that I found really tedious. 

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn: 5/5. I wish I had read this before I watched the movie, though I still really enjoyed it. It’s another book that leaves you guessing about what’s going to happen until the very end, and it leaves you feeling really unsettled. 

Misery by Stephen King: 5/5. This is my first Stephen King book that I actually read (aka didn’t listen to)! I’m glad I picked this as my first book of his to read, because it’s shorter than some of his other stuff without being boring. It’s more violent and gory than I usually go for, but I still really liked it! 

And that’s it! Happy new year, everyone! 

[beacon-of-chaos]

Defenders of Aura - A Battle Century G Campaign Diary

Sorry this one took a little longer; I've been rather busy lately. Session 6 We travel back from the bio-fuel plant with a grateful president on board. Zack Adani is also there and he tries the whole "only doing what I thought was right" spiel on us. Fiona takes the time to brag about how she defeated him, single-handedly as far as she is concerned. We take the time to gently rib her on her ego. When we get back to base, Nina debriefs us. Looks like the whole conspiracy is being swept under the rug in order to prevent outright war between the two countries. Alpha Team is off the hook, though they are understandably reluctant to come back to base. The group also decides that we need to consider Sara Wong's possible involvement in this and how to deal with it, when, speak of the devil, she appears. She seems glad the group is alive and coyly tries to ask how the mission went and "how about that experimental mech, eh? How did that perform would you say?" We roll insight checks but she has the charisma stat of a brick so it's not hard to tell that she had something to do with this, so Fiona bluffs her back, telling her we destroyed the mech and also the entire base along with the bio-fuel. Sara loses her temper and rushes at Fiona, but the tiny mechanic is no threat to the Amazonian-built space junker, who holds her at arm's length. Sara confesses that she was in on the whole thing and that she built Zack's mech. She insists that it was all for the greater good and that we have set scientific advances back by years by destroying the facility. We counter with the very good point that she tried to kill us. Sara assures us that our mechs falling out of the sky and being attacked by drones was only supposed to disable us, not kill us, but we call bull and Fiona slaps Sara in the face with a book of safety regulations. Adam Westfield (Leader of Delta Team, the guy who we met on the first day) arrives and tells us not to blame Sara as he was the one who ordered her to sabotage our mechs. Seems like the Novak governor had his claws deep into our military. No one is getting arrested due to the cover up, but Adam assures us that we are unlikely to have to deal with him or his team again. He'll get a nice quiet desk job somewhere while we become the lead mech team. So, what do we do with all this new info? Why, we go out drinking, of course! On our way to the bar the president's personal aide tells us that the president is very pleased with how we handled things and that the drinks are on him. This cheers up Ax immensely, who then drags both the aide and Sara Wong over to the most expensive bar in town. A night of much revelry and some debauchery is had. Ax and Sara get a little cozy, Sinclair engages drunkard mode and gets a rather expensive wax and polish job, Fiona and Juyon cut loose and Spectre gets a brief lap dance from Orion. We get some interesting looks from some people. Understandable, given that the media recently reported us missing, presumed dead. We'll clear that up later. A few weeks pass and we find out the results of our decision to back trade over war. Neovara is striking up a trade deal with China back on Earth. This is a... contentious choice, as China is currently seen as a warmonger, having recently invaded Europe. Kinda like playing a Civ game, really. (Note: This campaign takes place FAR into the future. No commentary on current politics is intended.) We are told that the president has a mission for us, so we go out to meet him and he tells us that he wants us to act as an escort for a Chinese trade ship on its way here from Earth. Fiona is incredibly happy at the prospect of going back into space and gets out a book on safety proceedures for space travel to show the party. (Note: Fiona's player actually wrote a book and brought it in for us. It's only 5 pages or so, but talk about prepared!) Spectre confesses that the only reason he joined the military was to find his father, who was kidnapped by an unknown alien race. The president assures him that this mission will take us to into deeper space where we may find clues to his whereabouts. After posing in our space suits for some reporters we head up a space elevator to the space station where we'll be boarding a space ship to take us into space space. I mean space. Our mechs have already been loaded on to the ship (modified for space combat by Sara Wong, who we watched like a hawk) so we head over to meet the captain. He's a large man who looks a lot like Jax from Mortal Kombat, metal arms and all. He tells us that we'll be meeting the Chinese ship as it enters the system and escorting back to Aura. The ship takes off and the team finds itself trying to adjust to space travel. Fiona is in her element but the rest of us are soon dealing with pranks from the rest of the crew, such as turning the gravity off as we walk through the corridors. Soon though, we find ourselves adapting to life on the A.S.S.* Cruel Odysseus. Ax endears himself to the crew by... floating past the security cameras naked. Well, whatever the reason, it worked. Juyon shows off in the flight simulator, apparantly taking very well to space combat in his mecha. As the GM describes it "You feel free from the confines of gravity". Spectre and Eric make friends with the ship's cook, who is a member of Eric's race. Sinclair, meanwhile, feels left out so he goes to see if there are any other androids on board. Sadly, the closest thing he can find is the decades-old ship's computer, who the GM describes as "your inbred cousin". Oh, well. Sinclair: I always wanted to be a ship's computer, you know? Computer: Beep. *Aura Space Ship. Stop your snickering. While we are en-route the GM gives us a run-down on the various planets in this system that we are passing by. I don't remember all of them but the important ones to note are Miranda, a gas giant surrounded by asteroids which is slowly breaking apart due to unknown surface activity; and Camelot (Fiona: Is it a silly place? GM: Yes) which is a human colony with possibly the highest levels of technology due to an alliance with an advanced alien race. After a few days we approach the meeting point, but the Chinese ship is no where on our sensors. There's still time before they arrive but they should have appeared on long-range scanners by now. We're suspicious of foul play, so we ask the captain if there's any way we can find out what happened. We are actually not far from planet Miranda and the captain tells us that there's an research outpost orbiting it that we might be able to get some answers from. We can't contact them from here due to atmospheric interference so we decide to move the ship closer to the planet. We get in contact with the researchers who tell us that they haven't seen the ship, but that there's been activity near one of the asteroid mines that we could check out. Seems like our best lead so we head that way, escorting the ship with our mechs, just in case. Ax's mech, the Riggnarok, is ill-suited to space travel so we attach it to the top of the ship as a sort of turret. Soon, as we approach the mining colony, we detect... something. A flash of something out of the corners of our eyes/optic sensors. Before we have time to react an entire ship materialises in front of us and begins blasting the Cruel Odysseus. Our captain returns fire, but the enemy shields are too strong and we do no damage. There's little that we mech pilots can do to damage a battleship of that size, but there is potentially another option. A nearby asteroid is in a perfect position for us to blast chunks off and fling them at the ship, hopefully damaging it enough for us to escape. We roll for initiative and Fiona moves in to scan the asteroid for weak points while Ax sets up a shot with his bazooka. Juyon and Spectre move into defensive positions and Sinclair aids Ax with his targeting while also attempting to repair the damaged parts of the ship. A weak point is discovered and Ax blasts off a large piece of asteroid which we push towards the ship using Spectre's booster jets. It's on a perfect collision course with the ship, but several point defence turrets activate and literally disintergrate the rock into dust. This ship is way more advanced than we expected. And now here come the enemy mechs. Several heavy artillery units begin advancing. We also detect some kind of commander mech hiding in a nearby gas cloud for defence. Spectre and Juyon move to intercept the mechs, while Fiona tries again to find weak points in the asteroid, if only to create more cover. We blast off another piece, but this time the mechs themselves aid in destroying the asteroid and then turn their weapons on us. The commander mech rushes out from cover, attacking Fiona and Spectre with duel sword attacks, while taunting them both. Fiona seems happy to have found a rival to fight, but it's clear that her opponent outclasses her when she outspeeds both mechs, dealing heavy damage. The rest of the fight goes from bad to worse, as the team takes attack after attack that even Sinclair can't repair fast enough. We get a message from the captain telling us to get back to the ship so we can try to escape. We almost all make it to the hanger but then the worst happens when the enemy ship lands a lucky crit on the Odysseus' shield generators. Immediately we are pummeled by the enemy weapons; engines damaged, life support damaged, two large hull breaches, and the ship is on fire. Just when all hope is lost and the ship is about to explode... it doesn't. A new ship appears, one we've never seen before, and holds the Odysseus together with some kind of tractor beam/forcefield that even creates an oxygenated atmosphere around us. The new ship attacks our enemy who quickly scarpers. A message arrives from it, an alien face appears. It's the advanced race known as the Naul. Naul Captain: Don't worry, we're here to help. And there is where the session ended. Bonus quotes: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/shows...postcount=1226

[queerfictionproject]

Queer Fiction Rec List #1: Contemporary Novels

WLW:

Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour: A love letter to the craft and romance of film and fate in front of—and behind—the camera from the award-winning author of Hold Still. A wunderkind young set designer, Emi has already started to find her way in the competitive Hollywood film world. Emi is a film buff and a true romantic, but her real-life relationships are a mess. She has desperately gone back to the same girl too many times to mention. But then a mysterious letter from a silver screen legend leads Emi to Ava. Ava is unlike anyone Emi has ever met. She has a tumultuous, not-so-glamorous past, and lives an unconventional life. She’s enigmatic…. She’s beautiful. And she is about to expand Emi’s understanding of family, acceptance, and true romance. [Notes: Hold Still seems interesting, although I don’t think it has any queer narrative or characters. It also deals heavily with suicide, so a warning in that respect]. 

This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp: Everyone has a reason to fear the boy with the gun.10:00 a.m.The principal of Opportunity high school finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.10:02 a.m.The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.10:03 The auditorium doors won't open.10:05. Someone starts shooting.Told from four perspectives over the span of 54 harrowing minutes, terror reigns as one student's calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival. [Notes: Obvious violence here. Don’t worry, they survive]. 

Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira: It begins as an assignment for English class: Write a letter to a dead person. Laurel chooses Kurt Cobain because her sister, May, loved him. And he died young, just like May did. Soon, Laurel has a notebook full of letters to people like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Amelia Earhart, Heath Ledger, and more -- though she never gives a single one of them to her teacher. She writes about starting high school, navigating new friendships, falling in love for the first time, learning to live with her splintering family. And, finally, about the abuse she suffered while May was supposed to be looking out for her. Only then, once Laurel has written down the truth about what happened to herself, can she truly begin to accept what happened to May. And only when Laurel has begun to see her sister as the person she was -- lovely and amazing and deeply flawed -- can she begin to discover her own path. [Notes: The LGBT romance is a side romance, although it is given as much attention as the main one]. 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley: In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever. Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily. Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town's most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept separate but equal. Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another. Boldly realistic and emotionally compelling, Lies We Tell Ourselves is a brave and stunning novel about finding truth amid the lies, and finding your voice even when others are determined to silence it.

About A Girl by Sarah McCarry:  Eighteen-year-old Tally is absolutely sure of everything: her genius, the love of her adoptive family, the loyalty of her best friend, Shane, and her future career as a Nobel prize-winning astronomer. There’s no room in her tidy world for heartbreak or uncertainty—or the charismatic, troubled mother who abandoned her soon after she was born. But when a sudden discovery upends her fiercely ordered world, Tally sets out on an unexpected quest to seek out the reclusive musician who may hold the key to her past—and instead finds Maddy, an enigmatic and beautiful girl who will unlock the door to her future. The deeper she falls in love with Maddy, the more Tally begins to realize that the universe is bigger—and more complicated—than she ever imagined. Can Tally face the truth about her family—and find her way home in time to save herself from its consequences? [Notes: This is the third book in a “loose series”—apparently they’re pretty much stand alone.]

Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz: Etta is tired of dealing with all of the labels and categories that seem so important to everyone else in her small Nebraska hometown.Everywhere she turns, someone feels she’s too fringe for the fringe. Not gay enough for the Dykes, her ex-clique, thanks to a recent relationship with a boy; not tiny and white enough for ballet, her first passion; and not sick enough to look anorexic (partially thanks to recovery). Etta doesn’t fit anywhere— until she meets Bianca, the straight, white, Christian, and seriously sick girl in Etta’s therapy group. Both girls are auditioning for Brentwood, a prestigious New York theater academy that is so not Nebraska. Bianca seems like Etta’s salvation, but how can Etta be saved by a girl who needs saving herself?

Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld: Darcy Patel is afraid to believe all the hype. But it's really happening - her teen novel is getting published. Instead of heading to college, she's living in New York City, where she's welcomed into the dazzling world of YA publishing. That means book tours, parties with her favorite authors, and finding a place to live that won't leave her penniless. It means sleepless nights rewriting her first draft and struggling to find the perfect ending... all while dealing with the intoxicating, terrifying experience of falling in love - with another writer.Told in alternating chapters is Darcy's novel, the thrilling story of Lizzie, who wills her way into the afterworld to survive a deadly terrorist attack. With survival comes the responsibility to guide the restless spirits that walk our world, including one ghost with whom she shares a surprising personal connection. But Lizzie's not alone in her new calling - she has counsel from a fellow spirit guide, a very desirable one, who is torn between wanting Lizzie and warning her that... BELIEVING IS DANGEROUS.

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan: High-school junior Leila has made it most of the way through Armstead Academy without having a crush on anyone, which is something of a relief. Her Persian heritage already makes her different from her classmates; if word got out that she liked girls, life would be twice as hard. But when a sophisticated, beautiful new girl, Saskia, shows up, Leila starts to take risks she never thought she would, especially when it looks as if the attraction between them is mutual. Struggling to sort out her growing feelings and Saskia's confusing signals, Leila confides in her old friend, Lisa, and grows closer to her fellow drama tech-crew members, especially Tomas, whose comments about his own sexuality are frank, funny, wise, and sometimes painful. Gradually, Leila begins to see that almost all her classmates are more complicated than they first appear to be, and many are keeping fascinating secrets of their own.

Ask the Passengers by A.S. King: Astrid Jones desperately wants to confide in someone, but her mother's pushiness and her father's lack of interest tell her they're the last people she can trust. Instead, Astrid spends hours lying on the backyard picnic table watching airplanes fly overhead. She doesn't know the passengers inside, but they're the only people who won't judge her when she asks them her most personal questions--like what it means that she's falling in love with a girl. As her secret relationship becomes more intense and her friends demand answers, Astrid has nowhere left to turn. She can't share the truth with anyone except the people at thirty thousand feet, and they don't even know she's there. But little does Astrid know just how much even the tiniest connection will affect these strangers' lives--and her own--for the better. In this truly original portrayal of a girl struggling to break free of society's definitions, Printz Honor author A.S. King asks readers to question everything--and offers hope to those who will never stop seeking real love.  

Between You and Me by Marisa Calin: Phyre knows there is something life-changing about her new drama teacher, Mia, from the moment they meet. As Phyre rehearses for the school play, she comes to realize that the unrequited feelings she has for Mia go deeper than she’s ever experienced. Especially with a teacher. Or a woman. All the while, Phyre’s best friend—addressed throughout the story in the second person, as "you"—stands by, ready to help Phyre make sense of her feelings. But just as Mia doesn’t understand what Phyre feels, Phyre can’t fathom the depth of her best friend’s feelings . . . until it’s almost too late for a happy ending. Characters come to life through the innovative screenplay format of this dazzling debut, and unanswered questions—is "you" male or female?—will have readers talking. [Notes: Alright, so. This one sounds like it could get sketchy, but we’ll try it out anyway].

MLM: 

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz: Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship—the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime. And it is through this friendship that Ari and Dante will learn the most important truths about themselves and the kind of people they want to be.  

Bi-Normal by M. G. Higgens: Brett Miller is one of the kings of Elkhead High. Everyone knows the kings rule the school. Football stars. Pretty girls. The in-crowd. Brett and his buddies are the tormentors; nobody messes with them. Then Brett meets Zach …”It’s a crush. I’m crushing on a friggin’ guy. That’s sick. And I don’t know what to do about it. … I want these feelings to go away. At the same time, I don’t want them to go away.” And his life is turned inside out. Everything he knows about himself is wrong. And he doesn’t have anywhere to turn for answers. He’s heard the word “bi” before; it has nothing to do with him. But in his gut he knows. And he doesn’t have a clue what to do about it.  

Trans:

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky:  Alone at home, twelve-year-old Grayson Sender glows, immersed in beautiful thoughts and dreams. But at school, Grayson grasps at shadows, determined to fly under the radar. Because Grayson has been holding onto a secret for what seems like forever: “he” is a girl on the inside, stuck in the wrong gender’s body.The weight of this secret is crushing, but leaving it behind would mean facing ridicule, scorn, and rejection. Despite these dangers, Grayson’s true self itches to break free. Strengthened by an unexpected friendship and a caring teacher who gives her a chance to step into the spotlight, Grayson might finally have the tools to let her inner light shine. [Notes: This is actually middle grade lit, one of the first of its kind].

I Am J by Cris Beam: J always felt different. He was certain that eventually everyone would understand who he really was; a boy mistakenly born as a girl. Yet as he grew up, his body began to betray him; eventually J stopped praying to wake up a "real boy" and started covering up his body, keeping himself invisible - from his family, from his friends...from the world. But after being deserted by the best friend he thought would always be by his side, J decides that he's done hiding - it's time to be who he really is. And this time he is determined not to give up, no matter the cost.

Almost Perfect by Brian Katcher: Everyone has that one line they swear they’ll never cross, the one thing they say they’ll never do. We draw the line. Maybe we even believe it. Sage Hendricks was my line. Logan Witherspoon befriends Sage Hendricks at a time when he no longer trusts or believes in people. As time goes on, he finds himself drawn to Sage, pulled in by her deep, but sexy feminine voice and her constant smile. Eventually Logan’s feelings for Sage grow so strong that he can’t resist kissing her. Moments later, he wishes he never had. Sage finally discloses her big secret: she was born a boy. Enraged, frightened, and feeling betrayed, Logan lashes out at Sage. Once his anger has cooled, however, his regrets lead him to attempt to rekindle their friendship. But it’s hard to replace something that’s been broken—and it’s even harder to find your way back to friendship when you began with love. [Notes: This one.... does not look like it will be the best, so read at your own risk. I could be wrong, though].  

Being Emily by Rachel Gold:  They say that whoever you are it’s okay, you were born that way. Those words don’t comfort Emily, because she was born Christopher and her insides know that her outsides are all wrong. They say that it gets better, be who are you and it’ll be fine. For Emily, telling her parents who she really is means a therapist who insists Christopher is normal and Emily is sick. Telling her girlfriend means lectures about how God doesn’t make that kind of mistake. Emily desperately wants high school in her small Minnesota town to get better. She wants to be the woman she knows is inside, but it’s not until a substitute therapist and a girl named Natalie come into her life that she believes she has a chance of actually Being Emily.

Happy Families by Tanita S. Davis: Teenage twins Ysabel and Justin Nicholas are lucky. Ysabel's jewelry designs have already caught the eyes of the art world and Justin's intelligence and drive are sure to gain him entrance into the most prestigious of colleges. They even like their parents. But their father has a secret—one that threatens to destroy the twins' happy family and life as they know it. Over the course of spring break, Ysabel and Justin will be forced to come to terms with their dad's new life, but can they overcome their fears to piece together their happy family again?

Brooklyn, Burning by Steve Brezenoff: Gorgeous, sad, and hopeful Brooklyn, Burning is a love letter to Brooklyn, a love letter to music booming from the basement, and most of all, a love letter to every kind of love (but especially the punk rock kind). [Notes: This is really vague, but from what I understand, its about a trans teenager not finding love at home, so they “search for it on the streets”.]  

Luna by Julie Anne Peters: Regan’s brother Liam can’t stand the person he is during the day. Like the moon from whom Liam has chosen his female namesake, his true self, Luna, only reveals herself at night. In the secrecy of his basement bedroom Liam transforms himself into the beautiful girl he longs to be, with help from his sister’s clothes and makeup. Now, everything is about to change-Luna is preparing to emerge from her cocoon. But are Liam’s family and friends ready to welcome Luna into their lives?Compelling and provocative, this is an unforgettable novel about a transgender teen’s struggle for self-identity and acceptance.

Asexual:

How to Say Goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford:  From bestselling author Natalie Standiford, an amazing, touching story of two friends navigating the dark waters of their senior year. New to town, Beatrice is expecting her new best friend to be one of the girls she meets on the first day. But instead, the alphabet conspires to seat her next to Jonah, aka Ghost Boy, a quiet loner who hasn't made a new friend since third grade. Something about him, though, gets to Bea, and soon they form an unexpected friendship. It's not romance, exactly - but it's definitely love. Still, Bea can't quite dispel Jonah's gloom and doom - and as she finds out his family history, she understands why. Can Bea help Jonah? Or is he destined to vanish?

Bonus Round: 

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray: When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they struggle to survive, to get along with one another, to combat the island's other diabolical occupants, and to learn their dance numbers in case they are rescued in time for the competition. [Notes: Obviously, this one seems a bit.... out there. But I know a lot of people seem to like it, and it has just about the whole spectrum of representation. I say have at it].

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan: Seventeen-year-old Sahar has been in love with her best friend, Nasrin, since they were six. They’ve shared stolen kisses and romantic promises. But Iran is a dangerous place for two girls in love—Sahar and Nasrin could be beaten, imprisoned, even executed if their relationship came to light. So they carry on in secret—until Nasrin’s parents announce that they’ve arranged for her marriage. Nasrin tries to persuade Sahar that they can go on as they have been, only now with new comforts provided by the decent, well-to-do doctor Nasrin will marry. But Sahar dreams of loving Nasrin exclusively—and openly. Then Sahar discovers what seems like the perfect solution. In Iran, homosexuality may be a crime, but to be a man trapped in a woman’s body is seen as nature’s mistake, and sex reassignment is legal and accessible. As a man, Sahar could be the one to marry Nasrin. Sahar will never be able to love the one she wants, in the body she wants to be loved in, without risking her life. Is saving her love worth sacrificing her true self? [Notes: WLW +trans (obviously).I’ve heard the ending isn’t great, but there’s no death.] 

Boyfriends With Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez: Lance has always known he was gay, but he’s never had a real boyfriend. Sergio is bisexual, but his only real relationship was with a girl. When the two of them meet, they have an instant connection–but will it be enough to overcome their differences?Allie’s been in a relationship with a guy for the last two years–but when she meets Kimiko, she can’t get her out of her mind. Does this mean she’s gay? Does it mean she’s bi? Kimiko, falling hard for Allie, and finding it impossible to believe that a gorgeous girl like Allie would be into her, is willing to stick around and help Allie figure it out. [Notes: WLW and MLM.]

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger: Russel Middlebrook is convinced he’s the only gay kid at Goodkind High School.Then his online gay chat buddy turns out to be none other than Kevin, the popular but closeted star of the school’s baseball team. Soon Russel meets other gay students, too. There’s his best friend Min, who reveals that she is bisexual, and her soccer-playing girlfriend Terese. Then there’s Terese’s politically active friend, Ike.But how can kids this diverse get together without drawing attention to themselves?”We just choose a club that’s so boring, nobody in their right mind would ever in a million years join it. We could call it Geography Club!”Brent Hartinger’s debut novel is a fast-paced, funny, and trenchant portrait of contemporary teenagers who may not learn any actual geography in their latest club, but who learn plenty about the treacherous social terrain of high school and the even more dangerous landscape of the human heart. [Notes: MLM and WLW].

[myyearinhonduras-blog]

Part 1: The good - Vol 2

Boxing day was the start of our diving course and it didn’t consist of much but watching the TV screen and filling in sheets. The next day was more interesting because we actually got into the water. We had really great instructors: Sammy, Erin, Nina and Victoria. They were all very patient and calm with us and gave us space to learn, make our own mistakes and they were very kind about correcting them. We only got into the water that day to do our swimming proficiency test (I just passed it). To be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of the feeling at first. I felt very claustrophobic and it’s strange just using your mouth to breath. The visibility was good but not being able to see like we can up here is slightly off putting. The next day was better and we went deeper  into the water to do more skills. While I still wasn’t totally comfortable with the feeling of the water yet, it was getting better and being deeper helps a lot. On the fourth day we did skills in the morning and then had a proper dive. The reefs down there are incredible. We did more deeper dives the next day too and I can’t remember on which days we saw what but we saw crabs, lobsters, eels, blue tang, sting rays, the fish that looks like “Gill” in Nemo and my personal favorite: a barracuda!! (The fish that kills Nemo’s mum). It was so intimidatingly still, like it was just waiting to strike us, it was about a meter and a quarter long and shiny silver. We got down to 18 feet and I’m now a certified open water diver! New years was also really fun but, again, it ended at about 10:30 for me in a hammock with both my wallet and my phone on me... unfortunately I didn't wake up that way but more on that later. New Years day I didn’t get up to too much except talking to family and walking around the island.

We said goodbye to everyone on the 1st and then headed off ourselves at 6am on the first boat out of Utila and started our trip to Tulum, Mexico. We didn't make it as far as we had wanted to on the first day and actually, didn’t even get out of Honduras but on the second day, we covered A LOT of ground. The day of traveling started at 6am and didn’t end until about 5am the following day. We traveled from Honduras to Puerto Barrios in Guatemala to Punta Gorda in Belize, up to Belize city then got a night bus from Belize city to Tulum. Unfortunately for us, we hadn’t thought about Tulum being a very popular destination for Americans at this time of year. All of the hostels were completely full when we arrived and after trudging around for about an hour trying to find somewhere to stay, we went back, defeated, to the bus terminal to wait until 11 when everyone checked to see in we could squeak in somewhere. We managed to find one, finally but, it was $23 per night. We only stayed in Tulum for one night but managed to make it over to see the ruins. They were stunning. I couldn’t believe my eyes. They’re right on the coast and the water in this part of Mexico (the Yucatan Peninsula) is crystal, crystal clear turquoise. A combination of the water and the ruins just took our breath away. We took a bus that afternoon to Cancun where it was still high season but where the beds were back to $11 per night. Cancun is famous for it’s nightlife and we thought we should go out as much as we could while we were there so we went out the first night to the strip only to find out that the good bars were around $65 to enter. We were stunned and quickly removed ourselves from the scene. Eventually, we found a rep that let us into a club called Mandala for free, provided that we tipped him generously. The atmosphere wasn’t great inside the club but we still managed to have a good time. The next day I, personally was exhausted and couldn't leave my bed until 1:30 (The Crown is a must watch Netflix binge). We made friends with one of the guys in our dorm and he told us that he would be able to get us into one of the good clubs that night for $25 each with open bar. We took the deal and went off to see if we could get to the Chichen Itza Mayan ruins. We were completely unaware about how long it took to get from Cancun to Chichen Itza - about 5 hours so we opted for the beach instead that day. There was a storm brewing and the black clouds juxtaposed against the blue water was something I don't think I’ll ever be able to see again (pictures to follow soon). We made our way back and got ready for the night. It was a good night, I’ve had better but it was definitely an experience I won't forget. The next morning we boarded a 5 hour bus to get to Chichen Itza. The ruins are totally different to those in Tulum - they are grand and awe inspiring while the ones in Tulum were a lot smaller. The area they were in was completely different too, it was totally flat with no sign of sea in sight. Despite the ruins being incredible, it did remind me, somewhat of Disneyland. Long lines to get in, everyone milling around, taking family photos, souvenirs being pushed at you left, right and centre. Just a lot more touristy than we had grown accustomed to. We spent two more days in Mexico, one traveling to Chetumal and one venturing out to Bakalar to see the lake of seven colors. It was actually only turquoise but it was more turquoise than even the sea in Mexico. We spent the day swimming in the refreshing water and sunbathing on the dock, finishing the day with pasta from one of the shops.

Unfortunately, that was it for Mexico, we traveled down to Flores, Guatemala the next day where (shoutout to Lucy) we found the coolest hostel. It was called “Los Amigos” and had a loungey bit with a definite “bali” vibe, further back was a restaurant that served HUGE portions of food and then up the stairs, even further back was a sound proof bar. We were staying in Los Amigos 2 which was down the street and nice and quiet to sleep in and had beautiful elephant tapestries on the walls. We were very tired on the first day so only Sara and I went out to the bar, we got a beer, had some free tequila shots and called it a night. The next day we were all a bit tired so didn’t stir until later. Lucy and I decided to take the opportunity to take some pictures of the beautiful little town.

At about 3 we decided to get a water taxi over to a rope swing where we spent the rest of the day until the sun went down. The little business was very well run - out of a man, named Jose’s, house. They had a little restaurant and drinks, it was only 10 quetzales (about £1) to enter! So we spent the rest of the day throwing ourselves into the lake and lounging in the hammocks. We got picked up by the water taxi again at 6 and went back to our hostel. We all went down to the bar that night and enjoyed big Jenga drinking games. The next day we headed to Tikal which were our last mayan ruins of the trip and they did not disappoint. We had to do a bit of hiking to get to the temples (flip flops are maybe not the best choice for every activity) but when we got there we could climb all the way to the top and look out. It’s one of the less touristy sites so you can still really see where the city had once been. We went for the sunset tour (mainly because we didn't want to get up at 3am for the sunrise tour) and the light was beautiful over the temple faces. Definitely my favorite ruins of the whole trip. We chilled out for most of the day after Tikal (we were all a bit tired) and got a night bus all the way down the country, first to Guatemala City and then to Antigua. Getting off the bus in at 6am was freezing! We definitely weren’t prepared with our shorts and t-shirts. It warmed up during the day and we took a few little wanders through the town, it was gorgeous and so colorful. We decided that it was a “soft city” no high rise buildings and a lot more relaxed than most of the cities we’re used to but it still had that city “buzz” to it. We stayed with the same company of hostels that we had stayed in Leon, Bigfoot. This Bigfoot was a lot more low-key though and they had the comfiest beds we’ve had the whole time with cozy duvets and curtains around each individual bed for a bit of privacy. We stayed in Antigua for three nights, not getting up to too much but enjoying the fresh weather and the scenery. I left the group for three days to spend some time in Guatemala City before an exam that I had to take to get onto my university course at Queens. So, while the rest of the group traveled to Lake Atitlan, I spent three days in the City. Not much to report as I spent the majority of my time in my hotel room cramming Chemistry into my brain.

I came back to Antigua after the exam and we spent two more days there before coming over to where we are now in El Tunco, El Salvador. It’s a very quiet beach town and it’s A LOT warmer than Antigua. Its a good way to finish up the travels, lazing by the pool and the beach before we have to get back to work in Candelaria on the 2nd of February! We have a few more days to go and I’ll just do some individual blogs for anything of note that happens!