#How much sugar is in 20 Tic Tacs?

[princelockedinatower]

Peppermint

The dark streets aren't a place for anyone or anything at night, that is... except for the ones who have no place within the light to begin with. 

I and the others I am meeting are the exception. 

I waltz down the carriage lanes of this old sleepy town in my favorite dark jeans and a black knitted sweater, a forest green cloak draped over me with the hood down, catching wisps of dark figures in the corners of my eyes. These creatures are not quite of this world, nor is the figure, visible only by the translucent outlines of white waltzing along with me tonight. The common folk need not fear these creatures, unless you know they exist they are impartial. Then even if you do, leaving out some seeds and honey as an offering will keep you from harm, give them blueberry tea if you want some good luck. 

Tonight I climb the hill just beyond the old yew tree the fae adore and that everyone refuses to cut down least they fear a despicable end. No one besides me and a few others dare to climb it at night, they say strange things happen there, dark figures prowling about almost like regular animals, yet their limbs too long and narly. When climbing you’ll get an ice chill down your spine, a sinking feeling in your gut and the one clear thought you can manage out is something along the lines of: I should not be here. 

The way I and the other I am meeting ward this off is by leaving generous offerings before we ascend. I find McDonald's fries generally please them, so arriving at the foot I leave four extra large fries and a pack of chicken nuggets, right beside my coven’s other offerings. I can see no figures awaiting me from where I stand, a bad sign usually but I start up the hill against my better judgment. 

Reaching the top, my calves are burning, the trek never gets easier. I lean down to massage my right calf, my dyed red hair falling around me and pale skin a sharp contrast in the full moon’s light. As my hood falls over my eyes I spot two figures lying on the ground, one covered with a light blue cloak, dark tightly braided hair and face peeking out, the other a maroon cloak and a hot pink dress. 

I address the girl with the maroon cloak first “You hiked this thing in heels? What are you? Cat woman girl?” I ask rummaging through my bag for my supplies. 

Bonita laughs “You wish hun, got your supplies?” she says sitting up elbowing Makena. 

I nod, both of them standing and whipping out their supplies from their own bags. 

We start to set up the temporary alter as Makena speaks, getting our attention “Bonita, Roxy-” she hesitates on her next words, half way done her particular task to set up “This might be the last time we pray and do a spell together, you know, with all of us off to college in a few weeks,” she says, her voice wavering a bit while fiddling with her long curly hair. 

Bonita’s eyebrows shoot up and she makes a face before chuckling “If you’re implying that we’re gonna grow apart sweetie while we’re in college you better evaluate dear Roxy’s OCD level schedule of communication and visits,” 

Makena blushes and shrinks but laughs with us at my expense. 

We make short work of setting up the rest of the altar and preparing to pray. 

Tonight I’m going to pray to Sarasvati for help forming and performing my Valedictorian speech, something I desperately need. I’ve been rewriting it for a week now and still haven’t made any headway. I also need to pray to my main hoe Soma to make Grad amazing and Dhat to bless the spell we’re about to do. I’m not sure what Bonita and Makena pray about, or who to, guess I never really asked. Regardless we each get into our preferred positions and pray to whichever gods and goddesses we choose about whichever we want. 

The graduation ceremony took place in pitch black, the sun already set, small shifts of movement coming from the rows of seats and the rafters, family and supporters brought together alive and passed, human and not. The only light coming from the spotlights on the stage as Principle Chiba gave an inspirational and touching speech that moved everyone here. Applause began and continued as I replaced Mr. Chiba at the podium, soon it died down and I spoke a silent prayer I would do well before I began.

“Fellow classmates, graduates of 2018, I will not bore you with a lengthy speech going on about things that don’t matter, we all have better things to do. Instead I will give you some words of advice given to me by someone I miss dearly, who has gone on to University in a very far away place yet I remain close to. That advice is to simply, remember to call. Call to say how beautiful the leaves are on the trees outside your dorm window. Call to ask how they’re doing. Call to just say I miss you. Call to make them open their bedroom window because they’re home for the Holidays and you’re outside freezing, 20 ft up in the air on a tree and regretting every life choice you’ve made up to that point. So call, it keeps you close to those you care about. Thank you.” 

I don’t think we called enough. 

Sitting here, awkwardly in this cafe we used to come to in high school when conversation just flowed, I wonder what went wrong. I know we didn’t follow the schedule, school and life got in the way, but… that shouldn’t stop us from reconnecting.

“So, any special someone in your guys lives?” I ask, a small forced and nervous smile on display as I grasp my mug. 

My sister Sofia shoots me a sarcastic thumbs up. I’m tempted to flip her off. 

Bonita nods “Their name’s Avery, they’re pretty nice,” she says looking down into her mug.

“I’m not seeing anyone right now actually,” Makena says, taking a bite of her pastry. 

I nod my head, this is not going well “That’s nice,” I take a sip from my mug, racking my brain to come up with something to start a decent conversation. 

Makena pretends to get a text and looks at her phone “Sorry guys, it’s been fun but my mom wants me home to make sugar cookies, see you later!” she says practically sprinting from the table.

I know she was pretending because she always has her ringer on, in high school it used to get her into so much trouble. 

I remember when it went off in the middle of a lock down drill, school took it away for three days, and like any teenagers would we concocted elaborate schemes to get her phone back. None of them worked of course, including the one where Bonita tried to tell the receptionist she was Makena was mom, but we had fun nonetheless. 

“I should actually go too, I got some stuff that I need to attend to,” Bonita says laughing half halfheartedly.

I nod and watch her awkwardly leave. Letting out a defeated sigh I let my head fall into my arms. Why was talking to them after a year so hard?

“You ok?” my sister asks, sitting down across from me. 

The phase sent me over the edge, tears started spilling into my cardigan then running down my cheeks as I lifted my head. Unable to speak, I shake my head. 

She grabs a tissue from her bag and hands it to me “You know you could always try doing something you guys used to do back in high school together,” she suggests sipping her drink.

I sniffled “I don’t know, I noticed Bonita wearing a cross and Makena started wearing a hijab,” I used the tissue to wipe away the tears “They’ve changed a lot…”

My sister nods “Sorry I’m not more help…” 

“It’s ok, they’re allowed to change it’s just I didn’t expect them to so much,” I say, my phone starting to vibrate. 

It’s Vincent, one of my new friends from Uni, I answer it “Hey tic tac, whatcha need?”

He laughs “Nothing, just want to know how the old reunion is going,”

“Not well, but I know that’s not why you’re calling, what did you do this time?”

“Can’t a friend bug another friend anymore? And besides it’s not me, it’s your roommate, apparently she accidentally turned your sheets orange when washing them,” 

I chuckle, and rub my face “How bad is it?”

“Bad, very bad, looks like leftover prison suit material was used, then bleached in some places,” 

I laugh genuinely “I’ll be sure to pick up new ones when I get back then,” 

“Good, those sheets have seen better days. What’s up with your friends? Thought you were really excited to see them,”

“Well, I was, but… they’ve changed a lot. They’re not the people I used to know back in high school and I don’t know how to reconnect with them,” 

Vincent sighs “You’re not gonna like what I have to say about this but you need to hear it,-” he pauses and I scrunch up my face. What could he possibly have to say that I wouldn’t like? “-Sometimes, through no fault of anyone involved, relationships just… don’t last,”

I blank for a second, shocked he’d even say something like that. “What the hell? What am I-” 

“You didn’t let me finish!” he interrupts his voice weakly raising an octave. I huff but let him continue“Sometimes they don’t last because people just change too much, and that’s no one fault, people need to change so they can grow. And sometimes that means you change so much people lose connection because there’s nothing to connect with. That doesn’t make sense, umm, ok, take two people at the start of a relationship. They both love to… drink coffee so every day they go out to drink coffee,”

I chuckle a little raising an eyebrow “Coffee? That’s the best you can come up with?”

He shushes me playfully “Anyways, so a little later in this friendship one decides to give up coffee due to Insert Reason Here and they stop hanging out as often. Since their entire relationship is based on coffee and now that’s been taken away, they don’t have anything in common. They drift apart and remember each other as a good friend they had,”

I nod and ponder what he said “So… people can just drift apart? In that situation aren’t you supposed to try to make new common interests?” 

“Yah, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen for whatever reason and that’s where my wisdom comes in!” I can feel his overblown and ridiculously camera smile of annoyance from the other side of the country.

“I’m throwing a pillow at you when I get back,” I say going to hang up, his laughter ringing out. 

My sister’s nowhere to be seen, probably went to the washroom. I remain sitting, my drink all gone and the sun dipping down to paint everything a nice shade of orange. 

I wonder if Vincent had a point. I had tried to reconnect with my friends, but they just… were too changed from when I knew them… I could keep trying, but how many times would I sit through awkward conversations that lead nowhere before we reconnected or they started making up excuses not to come? 

I sigh out loud and play with my empty cup. Why do people and relationships have to be so difficult? 

I realize Vincent’s right… Why for the love of the gods does Vincent have to be right this one time? 

Sighing again I begrudgingly move up my flight up to this Thursday, two days from now. My parents moved after I graduated high school and my sister was seeing her friends so it wasn’t like it was an inconvenience to anyone. 

My sister reappears and sits down “Sorry, didn’t want to interrupt your phone call, had to go to the washroom,” 

“That’s ok, I was just about to leave, -” I stand up and hesitate to continue “-I also moved up my flight to this Thursday…”

“You sure? Shouldn’t you try to reconnect a little harder?” she asks, walking with me to the door.

I sigh “Yes, sometimes people just grow apart and despite their best efforts they just don’t recover,” I mentally kick myself for quoting Vincent, the jerk would never let me live it down. I grab a peppermint from the little bowl as we exit and pop it in my mouth.

“Sounds like you’ve made up your mind.” she comments getting in her rental car “Want me to drive you to the airport?”

“Sure, I’d like that,” I say with a sad smile. 

Watching her drive off and getting into my car, I feel my heart droop, finally realizing that was the last time I’d probably see my old friends again but, I also feel like a sense of dread has been scrubbed off of me. 

[winters-cursed-king]

bananas

I love you. 💖

I’m in a PJO mood, so it looks like you’re getting banana-related PJO headcanons. 

Right, so, Piper carries banana tic-tacs around with her

She takes them everywhere 

She is never, ever without them

And, naturally, she gives them to her friends when they ask 

Annabeth doesn’t ask 

She just takes 10 and walks off 

Leo’s the same 

Except he takes 20 

But you know how tic-tacs are pretty much entirely sugar? 

Leo eating 20 at a time isn’t a good idea 

He’s hyper enough as it is 

Sure, some cool stuff has come from this sugar-high 

Like the banana-car 

Or the banana skin dispenser 

(Campers are still finding them around camp) 

But it normally ends up with him starting an impromptu dance party 

And it’s 

Interesting 

To say the least 

Most of them don’t dance well 

So it just ends up with them spinning in circles 

And giving people concussions 

They’re working on making it safer 

[badreturns-m]

American VS Australian Names for Things

lol that title could of been better. basically aussies call things different thinsg to american things and things. things. the list will be as follows: 

what an australian calls the thing vs what american call the thing. 

hope that makes sense. hopefully i get it right cos americans like yelling at me when i get things wrong. some most of these i also found online cos i dont know everything anything. so lets not shoot the messenger aka ME.

bonnet ... hood boot ... trunk bumper bar ... bumper mud guard ... fender windscreen ... windshield indicators ... indicators, blinkers, turn signal petrol ... gas bitumen ... asphalt sealed road ... paved road gravel ... road metal ute, utility ... pickup truck 3 or 5 door ... hatch back give a lift ... give a ride lorry ... big rig car park ... parking lot bowser ... gas pump gallon ... gallon (is nearly 20% smaller, 3.8 litres instead of 4.5) overtake ... pass pass ... pass each other driving in opposite directions

A4 ... lettersize (lettersize is shorter and wider than A4) foolscap ... legal size rubber ... eraser blackboard ... blackboard, chalkboard blackboard duster ... blackboard eraser sticky tape ... scotch tape  elastic band, lacky band ... rubber band biro ... pen post a letter ... mail a letter display on notice board ... post a notice postman ... mailman drawing pins ... thumbtacks paper knife ... letter opener golfballs (selectric typewriter) ... elements ground floor ... first floor (Oz floors are US floors less 1) lift (building) ... elevator notice board ... bulletin board lavatory, toilet ... washroom, restroom

biscuit ... cookie, cracker scone ... biscuit (nearest equivalent, made with yeast instead of self-raising) lolly ... candy, treat icey pole ... popsicle, ice pop plain flour ... all purpose flour whole meal (bread) ... whole wheat castor sugar ... confectionary sugar rockmelon ... cantaloupe paw paw ... papaya shallots, spring onions ... green onions, scallions capsicum ... bell pepper silver beet ... Swiss chard punnet of strawberries ... pint, small basket of strawberries sultanas ... yellow raisins jam ... jam, jelly jelly ... jello chips ... French fries potato chips ... potato chips fairy floss ... cotton candy ginger ale ... root beer lemonade ... 7-up (not the same but similar) lemon juice ... lemonade tomato sauce ... catsup, ketchup polyunsaturated margarine ... low cholesterol margarine entree ... appetizer main course ... entree tea (tea in this context, meaning the main evening meal, may be short for high tea, although no one ever says that in Australia) ... dinner tea time, morning tea, afternoon tea ... coffee break half milk, half cream ... half and half black or white coffee or tea ... coffee or tea with or without cream, coffee light serviette ... napkin scroggin ... gorp, trail mix tucker ... grub meat and salad roll ... hero, dagwood, submarine, hoagie sandwich ... blt (bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich) make a sandwich ... make or fix a sandwich packed lunch ... sack lunch or box lunch hundred and thousands ... sprinkles (nearest equivalent) custard sauce ... --- jug of beer ... pitcher of beer schooner, midi, pot ... small, large beer restaurant bill ... restaurant check, restaurant bill shout a round ... buy everyone drinks tin ... can mince steak ... mincemeat chicken, chook ... chicken meat pie ... --- pastie ... --- pavlova ... --- sausage roll ... --- lamington ... --- pudding ... --- stew ... --- cooked in a pan, a bit like a pieklet ... drop scone a rich confectionary cut into bars ... fudge like a rich chocolate cake ... brownie clam soup, the most common New England clam chowder is creamy, but there is also a less common red tomato based version ... clam chowder --- ... clam juice to bake under an open grill, i.e., bake and grill food simultaneously ... broil

bring a plate (Oz) =pot luck (US) adj In Oz, one might say "All invited. Bring a plate." In the US, it's a "pot luck dinner". In either case, all guests bring a plate or dish of food which can be shared. In Britain it is apparently called "Dutch treat". crumpet (Oz) n 1. vaguely like an English muffin, only much better. Commonly eaten in place of toast during winter. 2. woman considered as a sexual object (seldom used now). vegemite (Oz) n Wholesome and sharp tasting black spread for toast and crackers. The definitive Australian icon, and there is definitely no US equivalent. University

year 7, year 8 year etc ... freshman, sophomore, junior, senior university, uni ... school, campus at university ... in college masters, PhD student ... graduate student thesis ... dissertation supervisor ... adviser term ... quarter autumn ... fall sit in on course ... audit course primary school ... elementary school maths ... math stats ... stat sinh, cosh, pronounced "shine", "cosh" ... "sine h", "cos h", hyperbolic sine and cos beta, pronounced "beeta" ... beta, pronounced "bayta"

flat ... apartment kitchen tidy ... trash can rubbish bin ... garbage can bucket ... pail tap ... faucet, spigot letter box ... mail box verandah ... porch, deck footpath ... sidewalk lounge ... sofa lounge room, sitting room ... living room wardrobe ... cupboard dresser, dressing table ... sideboard cutlery ... flatware knives ... cutlery freezer ... freezer, icebox kitchen bench ... kitchen counter door frame ... door jam

verge (the grassed area between the footpath in front on your house and the road which you look after as part of your own front yard but which actually belongs to the city council) "You can park on the verge." ... easement (usually used only in legal language), swale (on a property that doesn't have a sidewalk/footpath or a cement curb, the grassy area closest to the road)

laundry trough ... laundry tub clothes hoist ... clothes line clothes pegs ... clothes pins billy (usually a blackened tin pot used on a bushwalk) ... pot billy tea (tea made in a billy on a bushwalk) ... ... escrow (the period between offer and settlment when buying a house) "How's the house buying going? We're in escrow." estate agent ... realtor block of land ... lot of land cubby house ... tree house, play house (baby's) dummy ... pacifier lane ... alley tomahawk ... hatchet cotton wool ... absorbent cotton rates ... local taxes tidy up room, house ... pickup room, house heating outlet ... register

bedsit (Oz) = studio apartment (US) n An apartment with kitchen/living room and bathroom, but no separate bedroom. The US version can be very comfortable (I had one in Goleta, California), while British-style bedsits are often very cramped. A British style bedsit would probably attract the description "toy studio" if found in the US. I noticed the term "studio apartment" in use in Australia (Brisbane) for the first time in 1992, in a real estate advertisement. Obviously it sounded more impressive than "bedsit". In any case, this type of apartment is relatively uncommon in Australia. continental quilt (Oz) n See doona. doona (Oz) = comforter (US) n Quilted eiderdown with a down or synthetic filling. "Doona" is an Tradename. "Doona" is apparently used in Australia only, and is unknown in New Zealand and Britain, let alone the US.

dill ... fool wowser ... teetotaler, non-gambler etc

jumper, pullover ... sweater polo neck (jumper) ... turtle neck (sweater) ... jumper (in the US jumper means a loose fitting sleaveless dress worn over a blouse. This is an older British usage - it's in the OED of 1933 - but is not in current Australian usage.) singlet ... tank top, athletic shirt nappy ... diaper sanitary towels ... sanitary napkins hair pins ... bobby pins press studs ... snaps track suit ... sweat suit, sweats clothes horse ... clothes rack (?) person who buys lots of clothes ... clothes horse reel of cotton ... spool of thread

spanner ... wrench torch ... flashlight oxie welder ... torch

spellings:

ardour, behaviour, colour, honour, glamour, flavour, labour, neighbour, odour, valour, vapour ... no "u" arse ... ass analogue, catalogue ... analog, catalog analyse ... analyze centre, litre, theatre... center, liter, theater cheque ... check computer disc ... computer disk enquire ... inquire enrolment ... enrollment grey ... gray instal ... install, instal -ise, -ize (most words which are spelt with the -ize suffix in the US, can be spelt with either -ise or -ize in Australian English, although the -ise is more common) ... ize modeller, modelling ... modeler, modeling programme (music etc) ... program sulphur ... sulfur

Pronunciations

beta: "beeta" ... "bayta" quay: "key" ... "kway" sinh, cosh, tanh: "shine", "cosh", "thahn" ... "sine ach", "cos ach", "tan ach" z: "zed" ... "zee"

Measures

Celsius ... Fahrenheit (temperature measure are converted by F = 9/5*C + 32) stone ... 14 lb gallon (= 4.5 litres) ... gallon (= 3.8 liters) metres ... yards kilometres ... miles fortnight ... two weeks Saturday week etc ... a week from Saturday Saturday last, Saturday next ... last Saturday, next Saturday 1 cent, 2 cent etc ... penny, nickel, dime, quarter dollar note ... dollar bill thousand million ... billion

Country:

bushwalk ... hike station ... ranch droving ... muster, roundup cocky (not derogatory) ... red neck (derogatory) swagman, swaggie (not derogatory) ... bum, pan handler (derogatory) mate (not derogatory) ... sidekick (slightly derogatory) jackaroo ... cowboy jilleroo ... cowgirl woop woop ... boondocks, boonies behind the black stump, back of Bourke ... podunk bush bashing ... brush busting outback ... --- walkabout ... --- creek ... creek (used in the East by not in California in my experience), stream creek ... brook

Music

semi-quaver (Oz) = sixteenth note (US) quaver (Oz) = eighth note (US) crotchet (Oz) = quarter note (US) mimim (Oz) = half note (US) semi breve (Oz) = whole note (US) breve (Oz) = double note (US) Note that the American terms "quarter notes" etc are also in use in Australia, but the decriptive words are far more common. Other

barrack for team ... root for team sport ... sports stocks (ski) ... poles football ... Australian rules gridiron, American football ... football hockey ... field hockey ice hockey ... hockey noughts and crosses ... tic tac toe newspaper cuttings ... newspaper clippings queue ... line quay ... wharf busker ... street artist unreliable ... flaky, flake out home and hosed ... home free homely ... homey plain ... homely glandular fever ... mono (nuclesis) rsi (repetition strain injury) ... repetitive stress syndrome (less serious), carpal tunnel syndrome (more serious, may even require surgery) doggo ... play dead galah ... wise guy drongo ... bore cinch ... sure thing Father Christmas ... Santa Claus g'day ... hi, howdy ta-ta, seeya ... take care, take it easy tar, thanks ... thanks good on you ... good for you blacklist ... --- (now understood) poker machine ... slot machine shaggy dog story ... --- (now understood) lawyer ... lawyer, attorney (lawyer in generic casual use, attorney in professional contexts) aluminium ... aluminum chemist's ... drug store caretaker ... janitor warder ... prison guard engine ... locomotive shareholder ... stockholder plane ticket ("airticket" now used by travel agents in Oz also) ... plane ticket (colloquial), airticket (formal, in travel agency) disembark (from plane) ... deplane trendoid ... yuppie trendy suburb ... gentrified suburb sus (that's a bit sus) ... suspect sus out (we'll have to sus it out) ... check out only (he's only covered completely in mud) ... bloody (general emphasis, not polite but not real bad either) ... damned tick off (items in a form) ... check off tick off (the teacher caught the boy and ticked him off) ... scold, dress down piss off ... go away, get lost, shove off irritate ... tick off "his bogoted attitude really ticks me off!", miff "That screaming child really has me miffed.", piss off (very common but also vulgar, borderline profane) "That rude sales clerk pissed me off."

dole (Oz) n Unemployment benefits. Father Christmas (Oz) = Santa Claus (US) n Although never used when I was a child, "Santa Claus" is now, in 1997, in common use in Australian department stores. funky adj 1. Oz and US: eccentric, stylish, pleasant, as in good jazz or folk music. 2. US only: dirty or smelly, as in "the bicycle chain is funky". innings (Oz) = inning (US) n Turn to bat, as in cricket or baseball. gaol (Oz) = jail (US) n, v Same pronunciation. often times (US) adv The emphatic form "often times" in place of simply "often" is virtually never used in Australia, but it's quite common in the US (usually pronounced "offen-times"). The Oxford concise lists it as an older usage in British english. paye-as-you-earn (PAYE) (Oz) v Pay income tax automatically at source. Employer deducts a standard amount from each salary or wage payment, and forwards to the tax office. rafferty's rules (Oz) n no rules at all, as of a chaotic contest or organization. reckon (Oz) v In Oz,  "I reckon" translates simply to "I think", but there is no real US equivalent for this very common Australian construction. (September 1999: Kent Parks of Raleigh, NC, writes that "reckon" is also used in the same sense in the Southern US.)

[hannahjoy12103-blog]

So my friend @elianadiana1106 is known to say some weird things. Here are 200 of them:

1. Snow be gonner 2. Cars are weird. Its like a room full of couches that moves. 3. Ok. But what are mailboxes. Its like. A mailbox is a box that humans that dont know you will send you stuff. And its socially unacceptable to open someone elses box but why?WHY WHY IS THAT? WHY IS IT UNACCEPTABLE TO OPEN SOMEONE ELSES BOX? 4. Names. Are a random selection of words. Like hannah. Ellie. Alicia. Why alicia. Why. 5. When i was little i was scared of fences. 6. One time isa was chasing me with a toad i named him fred and she made me hold him and if i didnt shed make him pee on me. 7. Lockers are tiny closets 8. Why arent electronic library cards a thing yet 9. Sometimes i wonder what life would be like without cupcakes and i cry 10. Scary guys scare me 11. You know what should be illegal? Pinapple on pizza. 12. What are houses. Theyre like caves but not. 13. Bears are scary. Theyre like giant dogs with teeth and claws. 14. It was a car except it wasnt a car. 15. Not that i know what a crying cat sounds like 16. *puts glasses in mouth* *bites down* ow 17. Whats a brain tho. Its like a box but its not a box. Its an oval. And it has all of your memories and your conscience in it and if you hit it too hard you do. 18. What is the purpose of eyebrows. I dont see an actual use for them except making sure they are on fleek. 19. I was in my living room and then my brother came in and punched me. 20. Why do people have hair. Does it protect them from being cold or something 21. What if there are aliens on earth but they look just like look just like humans so we cant differentiate 22. Why do colors clash. Why do some colors look good together and others dont. What if my red is your blue. 23. What happens if someone eats a phone 24. *sings veggie tales song* that reminds me of swedish men 25. Is that a trampoline?? Oh wait no thats my reflection nevermind 26. Glasses are like hey whats up i cant see anything so let me just put up this piece of glass in front of my eye so i can see. And tadaah the glasses were born 27. *looks out the window* Oh hey such niceness 28. *hits her head on the window* im a mess *hits her head on bus seat* owwwwww 29. Someone is calling my name *looks up* is it you god?? 30. Look its my favorite emoji because it reminds me of a gorilla (shes talking about this one>😤) 31. Bushes are like baby trees except they dont grow up 32. Speaking of scarring, The lion king made me cry 33. Why do people wear bright colored bookbags 34. Windows are like eyes into the home 35. Im twelve. Oh wait i lied no im thirteen. 36. I know how to Karate 37. Look im wearing fuzzy. Theyre the best of all pants. No other pants can compare 38. *is talking to Isa through a door* Well if yuh wanna talk to me, just pick the lock. Cuz apparently, you can do that 39. Mom wants me and mom is above you 40. I like busses. Theyre like catterpillars. Theyre long and they roll along 41. What if my chin had eyes 42. What id your eyes were your nostrils and your nostrils were your eyes 43. Im short. Kinda like a pudgy cupcake 44. Pigs are like cows except they give out milk. 45. Shut up and pretend im smart 46. Shut up and let me talk 47. *discusses the possibilities of rainbow snow* rain snow. Its like rainbow but its. Its smart appreciate it. 48. Help i need life alert 49. I rip out my hair for fun sometimes 50. Im pretty sure shes austrian. I dont know why. Just. Austrian. 51. Is this cold. *touches it* Oh yes very cold. 52. I know everything 53. Have you ever been a murder gorilla before? 54. Blue raspberry isnt even a thing. What are they feeding us?! 55. One time i ate a cat. But i didnt like it very much 56. I need to think of something funny to say. Becuase i like to make things funny. 57. So garbage cans are like portable dumpsters 58. What if theres a dimension where instead of there being people and it snowing, theres snow people and it rains flesh 59. Dying wasnt on my bucket list 60. so YOURE the one who ate MY pudding cup 61. Why are they called mason jars. Did mason design them? WHOS MASON? They should be called ellie jars. We all know that ellie is way better than mason 62. Where was the lightbulb invented 63. BEFORE you say anything. Do you remember Pinky Dinky Doo 64. Its like a freakin blueberry with a face 65. Dont bite your friends *sings* “Dont. Dont. Dont bite your friends” 66. I should be doing homework but instead im watching Yo Gabbah Gabbah 67. *sings the backyardigans theme song* 68. *sings the veggie tales theme song* 69. Do you remember junior the asparagus *starts singing moana* 70. So if i owned a pinetree, could i call it minetree 71. Red pandas are better than dolphins 72. *lydia starts talking* IS THAT YOU GOD 73. What if the firemen start the fires to keep them employed 74. Tic tac toe, pick one. One of them have to die. 75. Does derp and snerp rhyme 76. *touches nose to my phone* nose phone 77. Singing. Its just like stairs. I get out of breath. 78. One time i had a dream that i had to slay a dragon. It killed me. 79. One time i was walking my grandmas dog and a cat attacked me. 80. Are hearing aids glasses for the ears 81. Whats the difference between right twix and left twix 82. HEY LOOK THERES A DUCKY 83. Morgan is a russian spy? 84. What if you could take your eye out and see into someones soul? 85. Can fish drown? Like can they drown on air? 86. I had a dream where Logan got stabbed last night? 87. FIRE HYDRANT! 88. lions? I dont have any lions 89. Cinderella can go dig a hole and die in it 90. Thats sooooo ugly. Cinderella can wear it 91. I dont even like orange soda but i drink it because its sugar and i LOVEEEEEEE sugar 92. Oh no sweety those shoes do not go with that dress, unless youre Cinderella 93. I have a burning hatred for Cinderella 94. WHAT THE HECK IS– oh its me 95. Its time to listen to MY songs. Buckle up buddy. 96. If i was an animal i would be an irrawaddy dolphin. I am. An iraqaddy dolphin 97. Im DONE with this long hair. Im cutting it off. 98. Have you heard me sing? Thats not the sound of potential. Thats the sound of death 99. If you had a girl child what would you name her (i say i dont know). Youre right. Lily is a great name 100. HANDSTAND. No wait i cant do it i will break my neck 101. *makes the verbal sound for: “GAHSBXICIWOEBDKDIQ” * 102. Did someone say bork 103. What if four wasnt a number 104. *sings*: NOW YOU KNOWWWW WITH ELLIE YOUR DAILY INFORMATIONAL THING. YEAH. 105. Some people. Theyre like walls. 106. I didnt know its body fell off. Somebody shouldve given me a heads up. 107. *reads: I like trees* he better stay away from minetre 108. It feels like a worm entering my ear 109. I give up 110. You know how carter has 753 pens in his sock? That really SOCKS for him. Ha. Ha. Ha. 111. MAKE ME. oh wait you cant cuz youre on the other side of a locked door 112. SENTIENT TACOS ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY WATCH YOU. 113. SENTIENT WALLS. I HAVE FOUR OF THEM. 114. I had a dream that i killed a man 115. Its just a wallet. His name is walley. NO ITS A SENTIENT WALLET. that makes cents HA HA ha. Ha. That was good 116. I look like a naked mole rat 117. How did different kinds of birds come to be different 118. Hes a manager. Hes really good at managing things. And apparently hes a certified scuba diver 119. I kill at wii baseball ‘kay 120. The Miis creep me out like hey im the mini you living in the screen 121. Im single and i know it 122. The next dude who comes near me i will punch him in yhe throat. I will conventiently make sure its seamus 123. NO. THERES BUBBLE WRAP BUT ITS TAPED TO THE INSIDE SO I CANT POP IT EFFICIENTLY 124. Its like waves… but its not but it is 125. *phone buzzes* SHUT UP 126. A stylis. Its like a pencil for you phone 127. SO MANY SCREEN PROTECTORS 128. Go buy some new jeans. You dont need SCISSORS SARAH. 129. My friends say im weird. But i dont really think im weird you know. 130. Hes so tall. Hes like a freakin giraffe. Hows the air up there buddy? 131. Why the heck and i cutting holes in perfectly good jeans. I dont even like jeans. 132. I have 67 cats at home 133. What did cave people paint with? Their blood? 134. dude it’s the perfect weather to play tornado in 135. MIKE WAZOWSKI 136. Grass. Its like tini miniature trees. Im not wrong. Broccoli is a mini forrest 137. Seamus has an empty cardboard box in his room and i stole it and made it into a spaceship 138. That girl looks like me. She just want “agh” and just. Same. 139. The blankies name is dora. Dont ask why. Not my blankie tho. My blankies name is blue. I slipped on dora when i had my laptop in my lap. 140. Cinderella deserves nothing. 141. Morgan is a russian spy 142. LOOK ITS AN OLD GUY. i bet he has three dead bodies in his basement 143. A flute. You can shove it down their neck. And when their wheezing for breath beautiful melodies come out 144. The ninjas house is a bit further down. 145. Its like somewhere over the rainbow 146. I was just singing the entire soundtrack because why not. 147. Why do cars come in different colors? But the same inside colors? 148. Is it spelled nartz or narts 149. These people on my street painted their house mustard yellow and I don’t like it 150. How dis clowning start. Like hey lets paint our faces paint and put on red noses and see if children cry. I cried. I cried very hard. 151. Reich rhymes with branch 152. Cinderella deserves nothig but death 153. What if george washington IS THE WALLS? 154. The bus driver starts the bus before i sat down and i almost fell on my face. Lets face it that wasnt very nice of him. HA ha ha… 155. Jail backwards is laij 156. Do i confuse you more than math because nothing confuses me more than math 157. *rants about lotion* *cries* 158. The pogo is a no-go 159. I forget that i tell people things and im suprised when they already know, like how. Did you read my mind? 160. OH I HAD THIS DREAM. It was an animal apocalypse and they broke my glasses and I woke up mad and confused as to why I couldn’t see. 161. I think that in the alphabetical world, that c and s are rivals 162. Is a sticker still a sticker if it loses its stick 163. Stickers can go a die in a hole with Cinderella 164. Do you think the ocean is just salty because the beach never waves back? 165. Hey look its Mr. Testa. Dont testa me. HA. ha..haha 166. I want to go to sweden to see if they have swedish fish factories 167. Doesnt Switzerland make pretzels? Or is that Germany? 168. What if the sky is purple… 169. Me: *sends ellie a photo of an owl saying hello friend* ellie: WHOO ME?! haha get it… I’m making owl puns? What a hoot! 170. Ha ha… man i made this *send photo of hawk* Hawkward… 171. i see you are not *send photo of emu* EMUSED. 172. I get it, my puns are…fowl. Fowl. Did that send twice? Oh whale, i did it on porpoise. 173. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing it just waved. Did you sea what i did there? Im shore you did. 174. I almost ran into my wood bed. That woodn’t be fun now wood it 175. Im eating a bagel. Bagels? More like Bae Goals 176. Shea broke and 'unbreakable bowl’. Its unbowlievable 177. I just made up an 'under the sea’ parody about chocolate milk. Help me. 178. What did the grape say when he got stepped on? Nothing. He just let out a little wine 179. I think there is a monster under my bed 180. *draws a cherry* I thought it was a berry good drawing 181. I think of eyebrows as two countries. Unibrows unite them. 182. Im hanging out with sally right now (her imaginary friend who is homicidal) 183. I WILL WALK THERE WITH DETERMINATION AND GET TO MY DESTINATION TO FINISH YOUR EXTERMINATION. I WILL GO TO MURDER NATION 184. Ya know when spies do a little camp thing to catch the bad dude 185. Newspaper is so confusing. Its like a thousand tiny paper books. Im trying to read it but is not helping me 186. *talking about the origin of pretzels*but whose the mother country that was like “hey lets make some dough wrap like this then sprinkle some salt then how bout some mustard”. Like who did that. it couldn’t been a collaboration of countries. did they hold a world meeting to think of new foods 187. Where the heck did cake come from. Apparently the Greeks invented cake, but according to food historians the ancient Egyptians invented cake 188. Hey my family just decided that our new safe word is 'Oklahoma’ 189. I am certain that food historian is a real job 190. So apparently not all Catholic Churches have their sermons in Spanish 191. But apparently the actual Purple Heart is in Orlando 192. Apparently my friend Amanda almost pet a manatee today 193. THE PIZZA PLACE STOLE OUR PIZZA. I THINK. WE ORDERED PIZZA MUCH TIME AGO AND IT ISNT HERE YET 194. I was watching a show called Room on the Broom but it wasn’t very good 195. AND ARE STORES CALLED STORES BC YOU STORE FOOD THERE? OR IS IT CALLED A STORE BC YOU GET FOOD FROM THERE TO TAKE HOME AND STORE YOURSELF?? 196. aRGG I JUST GOT TOOTHPASTE IN MY EYE 197. I hate snow white almost as much as i hate cinderella 198. I should get a star on the hollywood floor 199. There’s a ladder on your roof, you should get that checked out 200. I have ice cream. aaaand I walked into a wall

[steaktalk]

i started following you in 2011 and not long after bought some “skinny girl” recipe book that you recommended (i think you were in your mid-20s, i was 19/20). anyway i fully expect that you would condemn that trash book in 2018. this is all to say i have followed ur advice like you are my big sis even if it’s now advice you would no longer give. so when i see your growth it is honestly refreshing bc tbh it did feel like you had it all figured out. i love how you now own that you are a WIP. xo

If it’s the book I’m thinking about I think I was about 22-23 and it was called hungry girl.

At the time I was working as a model /fit model and I was looking to escape disordered eating and crash diets and it was a temporary answer to that. I was able to actually consume food instead of being afraid of everything.. but soon realized calorie counting is just as harmful as other types of food relationships and that’s all that book is about. And cheap food. Back then(2009-20012) that book was a craze. And was at the time the best answer for what I was looking for. But it also focuses on a lot of hyper processes foods. Low fat/ sugar free (but sweetners) that’s all toxic shit. Plus to this day I can’t Unlearn how many calories are in a tic tac.

But that’s why Ive spent the last 6 years talking so much about eating clean and eating paleo because that’s they only time I’ve ever full let the reigns go and been happy with food or really jsut Not even thinking about it all outside of grocery shopping. That was the only true way to be light AND healthy.

Crash dieting, calorie counting, fake food… none of this works. Even whole 30 (which is a paleo “cleanse”) is pretty weak because people bounce off it and gain it all back to have success with food relationships you need change the way you eat not yoyo around.

Now I’m vegan, keeping weight off is back to being a process.. because of the wheat and grains. Its hard to avoid soy unless you’re cooking at home but even then it’s pretty difficult. I have to really make a lot of stuff by hand for it to be clean and healthy. there is not ease/laziness to it. But the environment needs more vegans. And so I work out now to try to combat it.

But yes, very open to being a WIP, can’t expect anything else. I actually don’t think it’s good for people to look at other people’s bodies and ask what they eat and try to emulate a body type. If I could take back ever responding about what I eat I would have. People’s bodies are different and “what do you eat” is usually just a masked version of “how do I become thin” I wish I had been more wise back then to the way people approach you online. The core base of your food should be green vegetables and then colored vegetables. Eating right isn’t a puzzle or a trick.

[sugarjared]

ellen-reincarnated1967 replied to your photo: The Year Of Self First - Only You! 2017-2018 So in...

Congrats that’s amazing!! I need to drop 40-60 …what do you suggest? I’m not the exercise type except walking bc I have chronic back pain…

Oh wow we’re on the same boat hun! Back pains and all! I didn’t do much excercise either, I took walks on days where I felt I could do more, like say after vacations, family events or parties to get some of the water weight to shift at least lol. 

Here’s some of the things I suggest under the cut:

Watch your calories: Not obsessively, but at least keep aproximates. Everybody who’s at least 5′ 3″ (and doesn’t have udnerlying conditions) can lose weight steadily eating around 1,200 calories, sometimes 1000 if you’re eating VERY healthy. The more nutricious and clean you eat, the lower in calories you can afford to eat without sacrificing health. You should totally get a Myfitenesspal account :) Fasting: If done right, it’s a tremendously powerful tool! You can fast 1 or 2 days out of the week by swapping foods for light drinks, like coffee, tea, seltzer, chicken or veggies broths, sugar fee jello, even sugar fee popsicles. A 24 hour fast is great for cutting out salts and water weight and to break plateaus. Do not abuse fasting or you’ll find yourself at your local Wendy’s at 3 am eating for like five Jason Momoa’s and least three Jared Padaleckis. Not worth getting that ravaging hungry if it’s gonna have a rebound effect.  

Eat what you like! Take 20 minutes each week to find out what’s in your pantry, and write down what foods and what amounts of it you can eat, and still keep on your daily caloric goals. On that note: if there’s a special hangout or event heading your way, cut out calories on the days before, to eat and drink more at the party :) Treat yourself!!! Treats can be a DAILY THING! *gasp* If you really NEED to have a small treat everyday, you can! Just make sure it fits in with your daily meals. And on days you’re totally maxed out but need something, you might want to keep some diet soda, sugarless gum, or sugarless drops around. I love orange tic tacs, I mean who doesn’t? Weigh yourself once a week: weighing yourself daily is kind of crappy because we shift  alot of weight in just a couple of hours. A nice brown one can make you weigh up to 2 lbs sometimes. Always weigh yourself once every 5-7 days, in the morning, after you’ve done your bathroom bussiness and BEFORE you drink or eat anything. Also totally naked. (Don’t do it with wet hair) Here’s an example day: Bfast: 1 slice of toast, 1 boiled egg, 1 cup coffee with 1/2 cup almond milk and stevia. cals: 186 Midmorning snack: an ornage. cals: 45 Lunch: chicken ranch salad, diet coke. Cals: 420 Afternoon Snack: 1 banana. Cals: 106 Dinner with friends: 1 slice of pizza, 1 beer:  Total Cals: 1242 :) (and that’s obviously a day you went out, but still kept on your goal, AND YET, you had pizza and beer!) And without including all the water, diet coke, seltzer and tea you probably had. It’s that easy. Remember that it takes us YEARS to gain about 60+ lbs, but that 60 lbs can be lost in around 1 year or so. It seems hard when you want to eat different things but have to restrict yourself. But the best approach is “I can always eat that later this week”. Because you can!  And you should ♥ Weight loss = time x calories consumed - calories out. What really matters is how much you’re eating over time, not just in general. Eating the right amount of things you like, can make a 30 lb difference in about 3 months. 

[justgetfitnikki]

Who reads labels when shopping? 🙋‍♀️ . What do I look at first? . 🔸ingredients: How many ingredients are unpronounceable? Are there lots of sweeteners and preservatives? What’s the first ingredient? Ingredients are listed in order of proportions. . 🔸serving size: How many servings per package? Think about how sad people were when they realized that 1 Lenny & Larry’s cookie was actually TWO servings. . 🔸words like: low fat, calorie free, diet, enriched and fortified always make me curious. What was remove or add to make that possible? Less fat, more sugar? Enriched means ingredients were lost during processing and therefore had to be added back in. . 🔸fats: what kind of fats? Saturated, monounsaturated, polyunsaturated, trans? How many grams of each? . 🔸sugar: How many grams of sugar? Where is the sugar coming from? Is the sugar artificial or “natural”? . 🔸calories: keeping in mind the serving size, do the calories make sense? If I’m eating X calories a day, will a serving be a sufficient use of my calories? . Also, did you know the FDA deems an underestimation of 20% of calories still acceptable! Companies are permitted to round up/down nutritional information. Think about how most numbers on packaging are round numbers. . A small example of this are Tic Tacs! Tic Tac ingredients state sugar, BUT their nutritional facts are permitted to state 0 grams of sugar because one mint is less than 0.5 grams. . The bottom line is, if you’re concerned about what’s in your food, stick to whole foods as much as possible. . . . . . . . . #nutritional#nutrionable #groceries #groceryshopping #healthyfoods #healthymeals #healthyhabits #healthychoice #mealprepmonday#mealprepsunday #eatbetternotless #mealpreparation #grocery #grocerystore#oatmeal #foodfacts #FoodDiary#tiuteam #bbgtransformation#weightloss #fatloss #foodprep #healthyswaps #cleaneating #nutri #fitgirlsguide #healthylifestyle (at Vancouver, British Columbia)

[yoasays]

Daydream Part 1

The flood finally ended and the smog of loss is in the air. I need to do something to wash it all off. The past couple days have been a rough patch, and my arms were to show for that. I try to swallow the emotions and move on with a smile. I do my best to put the thoughts in the filing cabinet in the back for now until I have time to get back to them. The hiss of the blow dryer is all I can focus on to try and start a new train of thoughts. While watching myself in the mirror, I lay the blow dryer on the vanity and reach out to my phone. During the stretch across the counter I get a glimpse of the tic-tac-toe board of an arm I’ve been hiding and winced at the sight. Ignoring the regret I finish unlocking the phone and find a playlist on YouTube. With the music now on I return to the blow dryer. The wet hair on the back of my neck is cooling me off. After some hair flips and massive lip sync battles with the bitch in the mirror, I’m about a seven mentally. I say my goodbyes to everyone in the house, even the cats. With what feels like the best mood I’ve had in weeks, I grab my keys from beside the door on the key ring and head out.

Once out of the house and into the garage I can feel the breeze blowing in from outside. It feels so fresh, and it smells like spring. I look out the garage door and I can see the sky starting to turn a beautiful pink, it reminds me of a Bob Ross painting. There are times that moments like this just absolutely take my breath away. It is so gorgeous, I could stay here all night and just cancel my plans. Ever single brush stroke of the sky tells another amazing story. The little bit of the sun peeking out from behind those giant, fluffy clouds with what seems to be a cotton candy background took me away for a good ten minutes. I take myself out of the daydream, and grab the vodka out of the fridge. I walk out of the garage and get in the car. Once in the car I check my mirrors. I put the car into reverse, get turned around and head out of the gravel drive-way. I always drive slow and with the windows down whenever in the drive-way. I love the noise the gravel makes as you drive over it. I get to the end, check for any traffic and pull out. I make a left at the stop sign, then an immediate left again. I pull into the Dollar General parking lot, park the car, and get out.

I walk in, grab a shopping basket and make a right once inside the store. Inside the Dollar General, I realize they finally started selling wine. They have been able to sell beer for a few months now, but I’ve just been waiting for a wine shipment like the associate told me a while back. I grab a White Zinfandel by Sugar Creek. I’ve never had it before, but I love trying new wines. I make my way to the right towards the coolers, and grab a six pack of beer. Then I make a left up the aisle towards the soda, and grab a 2 liter of cherry cola to mix with the vodka. Now I’m in the middle of the store with everything I need and make my way towards the opposite wall looking up and down each aisle I pass just to make sure nothing grabs my attention. Once I make it to the check out I put my stuff on the counter and hand the clerk my I.D. While she starts to ring me up I return my shopping basket to the front As I head back to the checkout, I let her know I need a pack of smokes. She finishes my transaction, gives me my I.D. and receipt and wishes me a good night. I smile and nod kindly, then head for the exit.

After getting my bags into the back seat, I get in the car. I buckle my seat-belt, connect my phone via Bluetooth, light a cigarette, then head back towards the road. I have about a 20 minute commute to my destination. I’m going to Nathan’s. He is my ex, and most of the time just an asshole. We split up due to his infidelities, but every now and again I go over for an adult beverage and conversation. No matter how much he pisses me, he is smart and pretty decent to talk to when sober, and sometimes when under the influence. I just hope for my own sanity that tonight when we drink he can be considerate and stay behaved. Too often when I go over anymore, he will get completely smashed and then throw a fit because I wouldn’t drunk drive us to get food, or a dime bag of weed. The radio turns on a sad song, and I press skip. I can’t let myself sink into the negativity anymore. I blare the radio, and flick my cigarette out the window.