#How to Keep Love Alive in LDR

[nerdysweetskitten]

Missing Them This Valentine’s? Try These Virtual Date Ideas!

Love knows no distance! 💖 Whether you're miles apart or just looking for new ways to connect, these virtual date ideas will bring you closer than ever. Try them out and make this Valentine’s Day unforgettable! Which one is your favorite? Drop a ❤️ if you're in an LDR or tag your partner!

Do you want to look into their eyes and say ‘I love you’ while hugging them tight, but the miles are holding your love back? Maybe the love of your life lives in a different city, state, or even country, and this Valentine’s Day, they can’t be by your side. I know that feeling—the longing for snuggles, date nights, the warmth of their voice, and just their presence. Do you? This is where virtual…

[monnn]

When you know, you know.

staring: Idol! Mingyu x Non-idol!, GN! s/o

wc: 1.4k-ish

genre: slice of life(?), FLUFF. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LOVE MINGOO, comfort-ish(?)

warnings: mentions of food, reader being sick(in love), tooth-rotting fluff.

a/n: hi omg hello, i am alive and finally out of my writer's block(ig?). i'm terribly unwell atm and i've never craved the comfort of a person as much as i do with gyu, so here's a highly self-indulgent fic! i hope you are doing okay and i just wanna say, i'm so glad to be writing again. have a great day/night and hope this fic reaches the person in need of a cutie mingoo atm! ♡

the song rec for this fic would be Margaret by LDR ft. Bleachers!!!

Mingyu's on his way back, with your favourite meal and boba. Was there a reason to get take-out? Definitely not, he really just felt like it. If you had made food, Min could convince you to have it next day. That's how it usually went and he was mostly successful. With his manager dropping him off, he heads inside the elevator and straight to your floor. Since he already knew the code to your apartment, he quietly let himself in, eyes immediately searching for you.

What he doesn't expect to find, is you sitting in the dark on a chair, curled up in one of your fav blankets with a flask coddled in your arms. Your head's supported by a chair on the dining table, mouth slightly open as you doze further away. Min quietly trots through the living room to you, slowly putting the bags down, careful not to wake you up. He adores you for a good minute, slowly lifting you up to rest in your bed. Their neck must hurt, but they keep doing this >:( he wonders to himself while carrying you.

He lets you rest while he does all the chores that you weren't able to do cause of your sickness. A few hours pass by, you wake up with Mingyu sitting by your side, barely touching you in the process of waking you up. He knew how extra sensitive you were to touch when sick, hence he decided to call out for you than kissing you to consciousness. You wake up slowly while he adjusts pillows behind for you to sit straight, he really is a nagging Asian mum in disguise. Handing you warm water to hydrate, he looks at you with all the love in him to see if you need anything from him. You catch him looking and reach for his hand, realising the love you have for him is unbelievable.

"You know love, I can't ever thank you for being so kind to me. I feel like there isn't enough of me to be so damn grateful for you." you say, lovingly gazing at the love of your life. A faint pink's spread all over his face as he nuzzles his face to your hand.

"And I'm ever so happy to be the receiver of your gratefulness, regardless of the amount. It takes two to tango I guess." he says, ever so lightly pressing his lips to your hand. After basking in each other's presence for a while, he mentions about the food he's got, which gets you outta bed in no time.

You head to the kitchen to unpack the boba, while he joins you in heating the food up. It's then you think how freeing it is, to be doing the most mundane things with Mingyu. He just seems to make the littlest of things much more better and you love that about him. A bump against your shoulder gets you back, where the food to your side is all ready to be devoured. Quickly removing the covers around drinks, you move to place them on the dining table. One where you're sitting and the other next to you. That's the thing about you guys, Mingyu never likes it when he's not next to you. He hates how all the fancy restaurants have seats across and not next to each other. But now, he gets to have a meal with you next to him and he thinks about how this is his highlight of the day. Min loves being around you and having a meal, so it's like two of his favourite things put together. You spread out the mat for the hot pan to be put on while settling down in your seat, waiting for the food to arrive. Looking at this, Mingyu hurries to place the pan down while grabbing two spoons before sitting down. Both of you look at each other, nodding in agreement to start eating. It's absolute delight running through your body and eyes for Mingyu. He loves it when you enjoy things he does for you. Raising your boba drinks to cheer, both of you devour in silence, enjoying the food and each other's presence. By end of the meal, you're much more comfortable to let Min under your skin and he's never been so much happier to be as affectionate as his heart needs. Taking the last bite, you stand up to call dibs on cleaning up since he literally did all the leftover chores. And right when you're about to get the pan, Min's grabbing you by the hand, turning you to face him. You're glad to be seeing eye-to-eye since he's on his butt and you're standing.

"What's up?"

"Can you please let me do the dishes? You're literally sick, doing more work would just worsen it."

"But Min, you did all of the chores! It's really unfair if you don't let me, you know." you say as he scoffs.

"I don't care, I love you but please let me do the cleaning."

"I love you so so sooo much too my Min, but I cannot let you do the cleaning up."

"Okay, how about we rock-paper-scissors this?"

"Alright. On the count of three, two, one!"

And to his luck, you throw a rock while he throws a paper. The council has decided and you accept your fate, slowly moving away from the pan.

Right at the moment, Mingyu pulls you in a hug, nuzzling further to your middle while almost sounding like a puppy adjusting to fall asleep. You wrap your arms around him, leaning down to lay your head on his. But, you're suddenly pushed away just to be pulled back onto his lap, while he holds you dearly and continues to be adorable. Again, you have no choice but to stay limp for him to recharge himself. It's hard not to admit how secure and loved you feel in Mingyu's big beefy arms, you kiss him on the side of his head impulsively to convey the same. That loosens his hold on you, him whining on how you always catch him off-guard with your actions. Now, there's nothing but giggles filled in your living room, both of you so knee-deep in love and into each other cause when you know, you know.

-------------------------

a/n: comments and feedback are highly appreciated! hope you enjoyed reading this work of mine, thank you! x

[madamspellmans-met-tet]

Watching the fireworks and all I can think about is:

“But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky” — LDR, Ride Monologue

A year ago, I was still in medschool. Already ill, but still studying 12 hours a day for my board exam while I was at my fiancée’s. It was the first NYE in years that I didn’t feel alone. I was with the woman I loved and her beautiful children and lovely family. It was the happiest winter I’ve had in a long, long time, despite all that was going on.

I wanted to be a doctor. A better one than those that had taken a year to diagnose what I already knew I had only to then tell me “there’s nothing more we can do for you.”

Now I stand before the debris of everything that I was. I barely recognise myself. I barely believe that I still exist.

A couple of years ago, I had started medschool, and I was doing well there, I was passionate and it was where I belonged. Spent days in the biochem lab or the dissecting hall and came home late to write my silly fanfiction. I’d even sometimes write them at medschool between lectures or on the train. I did my art, played instruments, sang, edited, filmed silly thirst traps and so on. Then I met my girlfriend and I was happy. It was the peak of my life, I’d thought.

And then, thanks to the negligence of my former doctor and genetics, the illnesses that I’d unknowingly had all my life, got so much worse and ultimately left me bedridden and with barely any quality of life. I had to quit medschool/request a break due to illness, which was approved.

I can’t stand for more than 5 minutes without threatening to pass out. Can’t sit for more than an hour and stay focused, lose my train of thought when I stand up. Need an hour in the morning before I can halfway safely get up, three before I can function. I need help washing my hair, doing chores and cooking and can’t really leave my house. My joints subluxate multiple times a day and I get awful nerve pain when in a flare. I can’t take a bath or shower without ending up on the floor as soon as I get out with a pulse of 150 bpm. It all makes me feel incredibly unattractive. I’m pale, my skin is dry and flaky, my eyes have dark circles, my lips are chapped, and I’m using a cane.

I feel ugly.

My writing has slowed down dramatically but it’s the only thing I can still do somewhat decently and I’m being evaluated for disability. My brain, that has been the only thing I could rely on all my life, is forsaking me. It’s demanding to be fed like it used to when it was still a sponge, but when I feed it, it gets too much. And so I’m perpetually bored and overwhelmed at the same time.

I wanted to be a doctor and a writer.

And even though I’m still aiming to try publishing, I’m not sure I have enough energy to do it. I was supposed to get married in 2025. Now I have to attend my best friend’s wedding on my own. And I know it’s my fault, because I got bitter and most of all, because I lost hope. And at the same time, it’s not my fault.

The truth is, I don’t know how many more years I can live on 10% of what I used to be and I don’t want anyone to have to go through this with me. I’m not going to do anything stupid anytime soon. But I can’t do this forever if there is no treatment or hope for improvement on the horizon.

And as always when my life goes to shit, I got attached to another actress more than twice my age. And Patti is keeping me afloat right now. She’s so full of life that I can’t help but feel a little alive as well.

“But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky” — LDR, Ride Monologue

Happy New Year.

[aijz]

HAPPY 6TH MONTHSARY‚ BABY.

bago matapos ‘tong araw na 'to, gusto ko lang sabihin na. louise, wow, i can’t believe it’s been six months already. six months of being together, and i can honestly say that it feels both like a blink of an eye and a lifetime at the same time. it feels like just yesterday when we first started talking, and now here we are, celebrating our 6th monthsary. it's crazy how time flies, but when i think about everything we've been through and how much we've learned about each other, it feels like we’ve been together forever. you know, it's so funny — when we first started this, i had no idea how much you would mean to me. i mean, obviously, i was drawn to you from the start, but i didn’t realize just how much you would become a part of my every day, my thoughts, and my life. it's been such a surreal journey, and i honestly wouldn't trade a single moment of it. every day with you, whether it's talking about random things or having deep, serious conversations, feels like a gift. i feel like the luckiest person in the world to have you in my life.

paalis na ako this february, so sinusulit ko na hahaha. it’s kind of bittersweet that i’ll be leaving soon, and i’ve been trying to squeeze in as much time with you as i can before i go. it's hard to think about being apart for a while, but at the same time, i know that this is just another chapter for us. it’s not the end, just a new beginning of sorts (i mean, ldr naman na tayo simula pa nung una) i know it’s going to be tough, but i also believe it will make us stronger. sobrang layo ba naman e. magkakaiba na rin oras natin. i don’t know how we’re going to handle the days when we’re apart, but then i remind myself that we’ve always made it through. our bond has never been defined by proximity, and even though we’ll be far away physically, i’ll always carry you with me in my heart, in my thoughts, and in every single thing i do. you’ve made me realize how much more i can give, how much more i can love. i remember when we used to talk about how we wanted our relationship to grow, and now, looking at us six months later, i can’t help but be proud of us. we’ve made it through every challenge, every moment where it felt like the world was trying to pull us apart. yet here we are, still standing strong. and that, for me, is such a huge victory. sana sa susunod na months pa or years. i think what i love the most about us is how we never let anything keep us from making things work. distance, time zones, life — all of that can be a challenge, but every time we talk, every time we connect, i realize how strong we are. we’ve found a way to keep our love alive, even when it feels like the world is against us. that’s something so rare and precious, and i never want to take it for granted. it’s not easy, but i know it’s worth it.

when i think about the future, i can’t help but get excited for all the things we’ll still do together. there are so many more memories to create, so many more adventures waiting for us. i can’t wait to experience all of that with you — whether it’s traveling together, sharing quiet nights, or just laughing over the little things. sana nga, diba? i look forward to seeing how we both grow, both as individuals and as a couple, because i know that we have so much more to learn about each other. but no matter what, we’ll always have each other, and that’s something that i hold onto. i can’t imagine a future without you in it. honestly, the thought of it just doesn’t make sense to me. you’ve become such an essential part of my life, and even though we’re not physically together right now, you’ve never felt so close. i feel your presence in my thoughts, in the way i smile when i see your name pop up on my phone, and in every little thing we share. i feel connected to you in a way that’s beyond just words or gestures. it’s something deeper, something that has grown in the time we’ve spent together. and to think about where we started — wow. we were both nervous, unsure, maybe even a little scared, but now look at us. we've built something real, something beautiful. it hasn’t always been easy, and there have been times when we’ve struggled, but those struggles have only made us more resilient. and i truly believe that we are stronger because of them. i’m so proud of us for getting to this point, for staying committed, and for showing up for each other, day after day. i just want you to know how much i appreciate you.

you’ve done so much for me, and i don’t think i say thank you enough for everything you do. you’re always there for me, whether it’s cheering me on when i’m feeling down or simply listening to me vent about my day. you make me feel heard, seen, and valued in a way that i’ve never experienced before. you’ve been my support, my comfort, and my joy, and i hope you know how much that means to me. sana ganoon din ako sa iyo. i don’t always express it the way i should, but i want you to know that i don’t take any of it for granted. every message, every day, every time you remind me that i’m loved — i treasure it all. nakakaiyak lang. you’ve made my life so much richer, and i’m eternally grateful for that. i know the next few months will be difficult, but i also know that we can do this. we’ve done it before, and we’ll continue to do it, no matter the distance. i promise that i’ll never stop fighting for us, never stop loving you, and never stop doing everything i can to make this work. you mean the world to me, and i’ll always make sure you know that. thank you for being you. thank you for being the person who understands me, who supports me, who loves me. thank you for making me feel like i matter. thank you for all the laughter, the inside jokes, and the quiet moments of just being with each other, even if it’s just through a screen. you’ve made every day feel brighter, and i can’t wait to see where this love takes us.

six months down, and i know there are so many more to go. i love you, louise, more than i could ever express in words. more than distance could ever make me feel. more than anything in this world. you’re my heart, and i’ll always be yours.

[usajournalnews]

How to Be Romantic in a Long-Distance Relationship

Maintaining romance in a long-distance relationship (LDR) can be challenging, but it's also incredibly rewarding. When physical presence is limited, emotional connection becomes paramount. Here are some practical and heartwarming ways to keep the romance alive despite the miles apart.

Communicate Regularly and Creatively Communication is the lifeline of any long-distance relationship. Go beyond the usual texts and calls to keep things interesting:

Video Calls: Seeing each other's faces can make conversations more intimate. Voice Messages: Hearing your partner’s voice can provide comfort and warmth. Letters and Emails: Write love letters or heartfelt emails. Handwritten letters, in particular, can be incredibly romantic and cherished for years.

Plan Virtual Dates Just because you’re not physically together doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a date night:

Movie Night: Watch the same movie simultaneously and discuss it afterward. Cook Together: Choose a recipe and cook the same meal while video chatting. Online Games: Play games together online to have fun and bond.

Send Thoughtful Gifts Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts that show you’re thinking of them:

Care Packages: Fill a box with their favorite snacks, a cozy blanket, or a book they’ve been wanting to read. Flowers: Send flowers to their workplace or home to brighten their day. Personalized Gifts: Custom items like photo albums, engraved jewelry, or custom artwork can be deeply meaningful.

Celebrate Special Occasions Mark important dates like anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays:

Virtual Celebrations: Plan a virtual party or special video call to celebrate. Countdowns: Create a countdown to your next meeting to build anticipation and excitement. Surprise Visits: If possible, plan surprise visits. Nothing beats the joy of unexpectedly being together.

Share Daily Moments Keep each other updated on the little things happening in your day-to-day life:

Photos and Videos: Share pictures or videos of your surroundings, meals, or anything interesting you encounter. Journals: Keep a shared journal where you both write about your days and thoughts. Social Media: Use private social media accounts or apps to share moments instantly.

Plan for the Future Having future plans can give your relationship direction and purpose:

Discuss Visits: Plan when and where you’ll visit each other next. Long-Term Goals: Talk about your long-term goals and dreams as a couple. Bucket List: Create a bucket list of things you want to do together in the future.

Send Surprises Unexpected surprises can reignite the spark:

Love Notes: Leave sweet messages in their belongings when you visit, so they find them after you’ve left. Audio Messages: Send a recording of a song that reminds you of them or a message expressing your feelings. Special Deliveries: Arrange for their favorite meal to be delivered to their door.

Maintain Trust and Honesty Trust is the foundation of any relationship, especially in an LDR:

Open Communication: Be open about your feelings, worries, and expectations. Regular Check-Ins: Have regular conversations about how each of you are feeling about the relationship. Honesty: Be honest about any challenges you’re facing. Working through issues together strengthens your bond.

Stay Positive and Supportive Positivity and support can go a long way in keeping your relationship strong:

Encouragement: Support each other’s goals and dreams, even if they’re apart from your relationship. Motivation: Remind each other why you’re making the effort to maintain the relationship. If you want to learn more about relationship take a look at https://www.abmantra.com/ultimate-guide-to-relationship-couple-romance/

Celebrate Successes: Celebrate each other’s achievements, no matter how small.

Prioritize Intimacy Maintaining intimacy is crucial even when you’re apart:

Flirty Texts: Send playful and flirty messages to keep the romantic spark alive. Intimate Conversations: Share your thoughts, desires, and dreams with each other. Virtual Intimacy: Explore ways to be intimate over video calls, ensuring both partners are comfortable.

Conclusion Romance in a long-distance relationship requires creativity, effort, and a lot of heart. By communicating regularly, planning special moments, sending thoughtful surprises, and maintaining trust and positivity, you can keep the flame of love burning brightly. Despite the physical distance, these strategies can help you and your partner feel connected, cherished, and deeply in love.

[tordenvejr]

hi vic! i’m not sure to do about staying in contact with my ex girlfriend. we mutually broke up a week ago as she’s moving overseas (she’s not from the country we met in). would be impossible to do a ldr and not sure if I’d want to commit to that at 23 anyways. it was a painful decision for us both as we only just told each other we love each other but we’ve also only been together four months. easily the most compatible and healthiest relationship i’ve ever been in. she’s brilliant. i’m a big fan of her. we decided to separate before things got too messy which we both felt would inevitably happen over the coming months. i also am not going to be leaving the country for at least a year because i need to finish my degree. she is going back home for a month and we’ve agreed to take some space until october (she said she’d reach out on my birthday) where we will get dinner and catch up. we even discussed sending each other letters and meeting up if we are ever in the same country again. i’ve never been one to stay in contact with an ex but this felt different. i can’t tell if this is just us wanting to hold on in any way possible because we are in love. no idea how to navigate this!!

hi naarm ✨🌙 that sounds like it's been a lovely relationship 💛 i think you'll naturally be able to see as you go along if it's being kept alive out of clinging to one another or if it simply feels right to keep each other in your lives. for being close apart i think letters are great, because it's something physical, phone calls can be so close and magical. feel into what sort of place and role you'd like her to fill in your life, today? now that it's different and new once again. i don't know if i can be much help as it seems like it's all really for you two to figure out, but i wish you both all the best ⭐️

[zolusbian]

lana del rey songs ranked by how lacho del rey they are: born to die (paradise edition) PART ONE

strap in this shit is crazy

born to die: 10/10

this is post 5x10 nacho reflecting on lalo in the hotel room. it's not even worth picking out lyrics because they all apply. honestly i should make a music video to this.

off to the races: 10/10

honestly giving both ottr and btd the same rating is a little weird to me because ottr is, personally, to me, more lacho. but only because it is the lacho that lives in my head where nacho fully succumbs to the lana-ification and becomes the man he was always meant to be, i.e., lalo's sugar baby. i also personally like interpreting it from nacho's pov because "my old man is a bad man" is insane, he has a broke-down life but an la crass way about him, he's putting his red dress(shirt) on, etc., but i know some people like to think of it as lalo pov, and that's valid, too! anyway i legitimately have a full music video of this in progress.

blue jeans: 4/10 (nacho pov) vs 9/10 (lalo pov)

this one gets a discrepancy because it makes less or more sense depending on who you imagine. blue jeans white shirt walked into the room made my heart hurt is obviously lalo in the famous fit:

like this could be an album cover. but the other stuff doesn't fit from nacho's pov as well.

BUT from lalo's pov we have it!!! we do have nacho in a blue jeans white shirt but lalo never saw that and it's not very nacho-esque anyway ): also it's not like lalo to cry over nacho. but the sentiments of loving you more than those bitches before (amber and jo -- sorry women, you're not bitches, but we put the feminism away for lana del rey time) and "But when you walked out that door, / A piece of me died / I told you I wanted more, / But that's not what I had in mind / I just want it like before / We were dancing all night / Then they took you away, / Stole you out of my life / You just need to remember..." is very lalo-realizing-nacho-worked-for-gus. as is the rest of the song. if only gilligould would let lalo be textually gay instead of subtextually gay.

video games: 2/10

look, video games is the first ldr song i ever heard and i love it and it's my life whatever, but it's, unfortunately, not very lacho. lana is too happy here. lalo is old and doesn't understand video games. it does get points for "I heard that you like the bad girls / Honey, is that true?" (nacho is a woman) and the lines about holding in big arms and playing pool and wild darts.

diet mountain dew: 5/10

the aesthetics are on point, but it's a pretty general song and really could be applied to any toxic relationship. also neither of them drink diet mountain dew. a few things stand out, though. the usual riding in old cars, smoking cigarettes, mention of jesus, etc, that lana is famous for, of course. this is a white pontiac heaven:

i think it's a bit too old school for the lacho aesthetic, unfortunately. they're more 60s/70s cars than 50s style. though i could imagine lalo keeping a couple of 50s around for nostalgia, but that's headcanon. (imagine little lalo riding in a car like this with his dad and his mom in a headscarf through mexico city or something...)

and no, nacho, i have never seen a girl so pretty as you.

anyway, too general. next!

national anthem: 9/10 (lalo pov) and 10/10 (nacho pov)

god, they are both so handsome! national anthem blah blah blah lalo is mexican and nacho is chicano and they probably tease each other about that. there’s already an fanvid to this but i can’t find it. a link would be appreciated! so since you guys already have it from lalo pov, i’ll do nacho.

here’s a bugatti veyron, which if nacho was alive in 2012, he definitely would have one:

“ Money is the reason we exist” yes, you are in a cartel. “Um, do you think you'll buy me lots of diamonds? ("Yes, of course I will, my darling")” nacho get over yourself and let yourself be a sugar baby!!!

seriously, you can be his housewife. you don’t have to cook and you don’t have to clean because you’ve got that wet ass pu-

dark paradise: 9/10

one that is unequivocally from lalo’s pov. i knocked a point off because we don’t have lalo canon mourning nacho and also he has no friends to tell him that he’s wrong. their relationship is definitely a dark paradise though!

nacho is dead. :(

radio: 2/10 (canon) 10/10 (the secret good version of lacho that lives in my head)

the 2/10 for canon comes from this:

nacho’s father is an immigrant who believed in the american dream and if i talk about it too long i’ll get sad, which is not the point of this. moving on!

again, nacho, give in. this could be your life. you could be sweet like cinnamon. your life COULD be like a dream you’re fucking living in. YOUR DAD DOESN’T EVEN LIKE YOU. GO TO YOUR NEW DADDY.

carmen: 0/10

this is not lacho at all. good song though and definitely applicable to other blorbos.

million dollar man: 5/10 (nacho pov) 8/10 (lalo pov)

first of all, this is a great title. i should save this for a fic. lalo is a million dollar man. he’s a seven million dollar man, actually.

i’m getting a bluebell tattooed on me i swear.

anyway, lalo didn’t break nacho’s heart so it’s not as applicable from his pov, even though he IS the most exotic flower and lalo IS screwed up and brilliant and looks like a million dollar man. here’s the fun part, though: so does nacho! therefore, it is actually better from lalo’s pov, as nacho did leave his heart broke ): 

summertime sadness: 4/10 (nacho pov) 7/10 (lalo pov)

alas, if only nacho had lived to see the summertime. he could be putting on his red dress and dancing in the pale moonlight. but he killed himself so. it is kinda applicable if you think about it as being right before his suicide, but also he told lalo he was a soulless pig and not “baby, you’re the best” so. 

but this is very lalo if lalo had the emotional ability to let himself feel sad over the betrayal. but he doesn’t! 

now if this was what comes next ‘verse....10/10 for both of them <3

this is what makes us girls: 0/10

nacho is a girl but he was hustling as a teenager, not whatever this is, so 0/10. also my least favorite song on the album.

[crescentfool]

I need an AU where Ryoji and Minato are in a LDR. AKA, AU where Ryoji actually lived overseas and he’s not the appraiser at all; he’s just a normal human being that coincidentally has a lot of similarities to Minato. Basically, “EVERYBODY IS ALIVE” fix-it fanfic. More under the cut because uh, I wrote 1.3k words to explain these two being mutually pining idiots in a long-distance relationship (featuring hamuko)

For the most part, the AU starts off fairly similar to canon (minus Ryoji being the appraiser, and Pharos existing, etc.). Ryoji transfers to Gekkoukan High School, and quickly befriends Minato. The two maintain the Helper’s Club together (I will never let go of these scenes, it is peak Ryomina), and they learn that they get along really well!  The two get some keepsakes on the Kyoto trip, and their bond is going swimmingly… until Ryoji is called back home. Before he leaves, Ryoji and Minato exchange Discord IDs with each other (OR Skype if you want to be accurate to p3 taking place in 2009-2010, lmao. The time doesn’t really matter for this AU. Ryomina is timeless, okay? that aspect of theirs makes me insane). They promise that they’ll keep in touch- and Ryoji goes back home at the start of December.

This is where the AU part starts to kick in. On Ryoji’s (excruciatingly long) flight back home, he’s hit by a truck at the realization that he’s in love with Minato. So technically!! The first part of this AU is basically Ryoji hopelessly pining for Minato and wishing that he had a chance to tell him that he loves him (and that they could’ve had some romantic experiences together). Ryoji practically spends his flight frustrated since long distance communication gets rid of a lot of communication cues, which makes it hard for him to get his feelings across. He’s effectively only left with his ability to type words (okay, more like, paragraphs) across text- and maybe his voice + hand gestures if he has the chance to video call with Minato.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop Ryoji from trying. Of course, time zones are an obstacle to the two getting to talk on a regular basis; but it doesn’t stop him!

At first, they just text each other about their daily happenings, making Ryoji very nostalgic toward his memories and times at Gekkoukan. Many of Ryoji’s responses towards Minato’s texts are generally some variation of “I miss being at Gekkoukan with everyone” (aka Ryoji trying to hint that he misses Minato while deliberately trying to filter himself so that Minato doesn’t realize that he loves him).

Recognizing that Ryoji almost seems sad over text- Minato takes it upon himself to ask Ryoji what he’s been doing overseas. And oh man!! Minato was not prepared for how long-winded Ryoji’s explanations of his days would be- but it made Minato happy to see Ryoji back to his enthusiastic self. What Minato was also not prepared for, was being hit by a wave of, “DAMNG, I miss being around Ryoji.”

(I should also mention that if these two send pictures to each other, it’s always of other objects/people, and never themselves. boohoo for the both of them because they miss seeing each other but they don’t have the balls to directly say that they miss the other one ALKFHLSDHSD i just want them to be pining for each other in the stupidest way possible okay!! i’m insane!! yes i know i have a magic hand that makes these two never send selfies of themselves to each other but so what!!! these two are going to suffer in overthinking their relationship and you will enjoy it too)

After a month or so of near daily texting, they move into a stage where they talk to each other over voice chat (because Ryoji said that “typing messages is time consuming especially when I can explain it better out loud,” TOTALLY. Are you sure about that, Ryoji Mochizuki? Are you sure it wasn’t just, “I missed hearing Minato talk even though I have to be the one to draw out whole sentences out of him?”). Sometimes their voice calls are just Ryoji being an enthusiastic and unreliable narrator, while other times, they’re simply listening to a selection of Minato’s favorite songs together (listen you cannot convince me otherwise that if these two LDR they wouldn’t listen to music together to emulate the idea of “being together in the same room.” it’d be illegal if they didn’t tbh /s).

In any case!!! Once these two start voice chatting, their levels of pining go off the charts. Like, man. Imagine not seeing your “best friend” in person for nearly two months; and not hearing their voice for that same amount of time! Dude, I don’t know what to tell you, but they’re going to be run over by a truck at that moment when they realize that they love each other (again, lmao. they’re very dense and keep attributing each other’s signs as their brains playing tricks on them).

And also! Imagine how much these two would do that Freudian slip phenomenon over voice! Minato could be talking about something that he was doing at Gekkoukan and Ryoji would just respond with something like, “That’s great Minty! I wish I could’ve been there to see it with you!” ONLY TO END UP panicking because he didn’t mean to verbally express his mental nickname of Minato aloud. (Poor Ryoji but also not really he did this to himself by asking to voice call with Minato /s). Or for Minato, he ends up muttering something and Ryoji somehow manages to pick up on what he said (and tries to get Minato to elaborate).

On the note of these two voice chatting, I like to think that Hamuko knows what’s up. I mean… there is no way that Hamuko isn’t aware that her brother is hopelessly pining for Ryoji. I mean, the dude is actually talking to someone on his laptop rather than just looping music so??? Of course she would notice LOL. Being the good sister that she is- she teases Minato about it while they’re going to school together, much to his chagrin. Or, if she’s feeling bold, she’ll stop by Minato’s room to drop something off and leave by saying something like, “Hey Ryoji!! Minato won’t stop talking about how much he enjoys talking to you. He really likes your voic-oh he’s telling me to leave now, bye Ryoji!” Either way, I think Hamuko would be a very vocal advocate for Ryoji and Minato to stop beating around the bush about their feelings (while also being a great person for Minato to confide in and ask advice regularly too, even if he wouldn’t want to bring himself to do it out of embarrassment).

Anyways, I know a lot of this is just “hehe mutual pining but they don’t know it’s reciprocated because they’re too caught up in their anxiety making it hard for them to decode the hints and signals.” BUT! I promise you that they will get together and become their most open and authentic selves (probably because Hamuko set them up or something, she recognizes that they’re too dense LOL).

When they do end up together though!! Well… they’re still pining (because grrr distance), but their relationship is a lot more relaxed since they know that their feelings are mutual. I think they’d only really start doing video chats + sending selfies on a regular basis after they get together, but!! I think even across distance and time zones, they would be really good at communicating and making each other feel loved. Ryoji would be the type of boyfriend who sends a lot of gifts over mail; Minato would be the moral support boyfriend who gets Ryoji to open up (so that Ryoji doesn’t have to shoulder everything on his own).

At the end of the day, all that matters is that these two love each other! When their semesters wrap up- they find a way to reunite in person again (so probably July or August?)... and uh, yeah. Let these two have a happy AU!! And maybe get Ryoji to go back to Gekkoukan for Minato’s last school year (if that’s even possible. I don’t even know and I’m too tired to research that).

If you read to the end- thank you for reading! I have many thoughts about these two in a LDR and I think it’d be interesting to see unfold!

[zoetekohana]

trying to find a way back home to you again ↪︎ or: in which taichi and mimi deal with the struggles of being far away from each other, wondering about each other, seeking each other and returning to each other. ( listen )

note: this fanmix is dedicated to @ex-machiina, my forever michi love, who had requested a fanmix about taichi and mimi on a roadtrip. 

gradually i diverted from said theme (i’m so sorry about that) because after watching kizuna i was more inspired to turn it into an angsty semi-ldr as taichi would travel a lot for his diplomatic studies and mimi for her online retail to sample as much different products as possible. due to them travelling so much for their careers, it would complicate them trying to be together as they keep needing to separate ways after being together and as they are still unsure of what they feel and want, and even more unsure of what the other might feel and want. lastly to give it an extra international feel i added non-english songs to the playlist. i wrote down in which language the lyrics are.

cover-wise: yes, i recoloured mimi’s white shoes to match with her dress (taichi was better accessorized than her) and her stockings to remove them all together because that flashy pink colour is not pretty. but most importantly i love how the bg represents an airplane window.

extra: a big thank you to @aarreplaneetta for suggesting the song “the bones” and giving me a second breathe to finish this project (as i was about to give up; i have been working on this project since march...) and to @aeonsofgrace for listening to my ranting.

i have also decided to share this as an entry for the michi summer weekend @taichixmimi because i am rather proud of this fanmix and even though it’s not really an “an outdoor activity” in my eyes they are actively searching for each other outdoors. yeah, no shame. 

CHAPTER I. WONDERING & WAITING

01. crozet  ☍  are you there?

(instrumental)

02. maye  ☍  tú

but every time i am with you time stops and disappears

and you give me everything else i want to be where you are

(spanish lyrics)

03. umi  ☍  midnight blues

bloomy skies, sweet goodbyes late at night I think of you and i wonder: do you think about me too

(english lyrics)

04. bts  ☍  crystal snow

the two of us are already far apart even though we are meant to be together

i’ll wait for you no matter where

(japanese lyrics)

05. peyton  ☍  it’s been so long

it’s been so long since i’ve seen ya i’m sure we’ll meet again

(english lyrics)

CHAPTER II. SENSING & SEEKING

06. mree  ☍  when you come home

the moment slows inside the palm of your hand oh i could stay like this forever or as long as we can and in the morning i pour a warm cup of tea and hope you'll stay a little longer, stay a lifetime with me

when you come home I feel the earth start to change i am alive, i am alive, there is a reason to stay

(english lyrics)

07. chanyeol feat. punch  ☍  stay with me

my heart’s beating it goes when i look at you so close i’m finding it hard to breathe even when you’re not around oh you’re all i think about oh what have you done to me

(korean lyrics)

08. yseult feat. ichon  ☍  + mélange

it's just a matter of time a matter of time come on let's get mixed up we share a moment come on let's get mixed up it's you who decides now

(french lyrics)

09. shura  ☍  what’s it gonna be

do i tell you i love you or not? cause i can't really guess what you want

i don't wanna give you up i don't wanna make it look like it's no big deal so what's it gonna be?

(english lyrics)

10. iu  ☍  give you my heart

i pray that on blissful days and weary days in life i can stay by your side all the time i pray that… it won’t remain as mere memories with you…

(korean lyrics)

CHAPTER III. REALISING & RETURNING

11. adrianne gonzalez feat. nilu  ☍  found a home

where the weight lifts off my chest where my feet have come to rest i found a home in you and you found one in me too i think i've always known in you i've found a home

(english lyrics)

12. honne feat. beka  ☍  location unknown

i just need to work out some way of getting me to you 'cause i will never find love like ours out here

i don't want to be wasting time, without you don't want to throw away my life, i need you something tells me we'll be alright, yeah

(english lyrics)

13. kygo feat. haux  ☍  only us

i want you to know, want you to say it's only us, only us i want you to know, don't be afraid it's only us, only us

won't let you let me go

(english lyrics)

14. arsenal  ☍  estupendo

i travel around the world just to kiss you through airport terminals and neon lights, i sift through one hundred thousand miles of swift motion and devotion

no amount of distance can ever come between us

(english lyrics)

15. maren morris feat. hozier  ☍  the bones

baby, i know any storm we're facing will blow right over while we stay put the house don't fall when the bones are good

call it dumb luck, but baby, you and i can't even mess it up although we both try no, it don't always go the way we planned it but the wolves came and went and we're still standing

(english lyrics)

EPILOGUE

16. efterklang  ☍  hold mine hænder

hold my hands the fog disappears everything changes you see me, i see you

(danish lyrics)

[daisiesandgiggles]

2 years of delicious excitement after meeting on tumblr, 5am chats before work, hot meet ups 4-5 times a year. Wondering if the pics that landed in my in box were your lovely face and therefore safe to open in public…or not safe at all…. Finding time to read the steamy stories you sent, the waits for your response to mine…working together through the list of erotic stuff neither of us had experienced before. Talks about the L word…

And then Covid struck. 6 meet ups postponed. 18 months of being worried about each other and trying to keep the excitement going across the miles…but sliding into familiarity without the opportunity to meet up. Whether we have succeeded in keeping the magic alive is in the balance and that makes me so sad..

I feel you on the Covid thing, It has definitely made a big impact on my relationship as well, and I'm sure that many other folks can relate too. It sucks to want to be with your SO and to know you can't because of a virus. I myself feel frustrated, and I realize it's just temporary, but for those of us in LDRs, I think the struggle is even more difficult. Don't give up hope though, because It sounds like the sparks between you 2 are very much still there, so do your best to keep them alive and focus on thoughts about how sweet it's going to be when you get to be together again. I'm wishing you both the best of luck and 🤞🏼that you'll be together soon..XOXO ♥️🤗~🌼Thank you for stopping by SS to share with us today.♥️

#Secret Sunday

[eveningfall]

do you have any advice for long distance relationships? how has yours lasted so long and what do you do to stay so close all the time?

I do! I am in no way a professional, nor do I claim to be the best partner out there, not by a long shot, but my girlfriend and I have done long distance for nearly three years and this is some of the most important stuff that stood out to me, under the cut for organization purposes:

(Note: Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) require a huge amount of effort, patience, and emotional closeness between two people and might not be for everyone. My relationship is irreplaceable to me, and I’m choosing to share what works!)

Make plans together, set aside time for one another

Quality time is key in a long-distance relationship. Because the physical aspect is often spaced apart by huge time gaps, emotional bond is a huge part of what makes LDRs special and wonderful.

For example, my girlfriend and I often call after I have a shift at work or while she’s driving to school. I also keep her updated on parts of my day, and we often set aside time to do things together that just involve the two of us. Skype sleepovers, Minecraft sessions and writing parties have been staples in our relationship since we met. Keeping each other in regular parts of our day to day lives helps us feel connected and included, even when we can’t be there in person.

It probably sounds like simple advice but seriously, do things together often and have regular conversations. Video games (or a shared activity) help facilitate bonding when not much is going on to talk about.

affirmations bro, seriously

Anxiety is the side effect of long distance. It’s okay to be scared- scared of being apart for too long and things fading out, scared of being forgotten, scared of the separation itself, etc. The fear comes from an honest place, but whether it’s you or your partner who’s feeling it, try to be rational and avoid the impulsive urge to act on those fears.

Because of this anxiety, LDRs typically require more (and more regular) reassurance than usual. Remind them often that you love them, miss them, or are thinking about them. Comment on the little things they do that you like. Share songs, video links, and memes that remind you of them, or that you’d think they enjoy. Establish your place in each other’s lives over and over again. It takes a special person to be able to cope with the anxieties big and small that come with long distance, but when done right it is incredibly rewarding.

communication

Incredibly, crucially important. You cannot be passive-aggressive or miscommunicate in long distance. Have those tough emotional conversations, don’t be afraid to be honest when you’re angry or if something they’re doing isn’t helping you. You don’t have to resent on another. Instead, be understanding, be patient, and try to come to a place of agreement. The goal is not to break up with each other, neither wants that. Be blatant with what’s on your mind and remember that they love you.

Remember, it’s not you vs your partner. It’s you and them vs the problem.

establish boundaries

While regular interaction is important, like any other relationship your partner must not become the centre of your universe, or you theirs. Allow yourself and your partner to have other friends, spend time with family, and also have time to yourselves. You don’t need to always be talking.

Jealousy, possessiveness and feelings of exclusion are three risks when it comes to LDRs. Learn to be apart just as much as you learn to be together, and alternately, also remember to talk to your partner if you genuinely feel left out, forgotten or unwanted. Give each other space, reassure one another and build trust.

Boundaries also apply to the nuances of romance/sexuality. Your partner may or may not experience physical/sensual/sexual attraction in the same way that you do, meaning that your comfort zones could be on the same page or entirely different. Attraction and comfort can also fluctuate! Always make sure you’re both feeling comfortable and safe. Respect and understanding means so much in a relationship.

plan to meet one another eventually

Please note the key word here: eventually! I know that many LDRs face some crazy extenuating circumstances and meeting in person might be a long, possibly expensive way away. Make those plans anyway- whether an actual buy-a-plane-ticket-get-together plan or just the hypothetical. 

When you’re so far apart, talking about what you’ll do once you can be together, what your first (or next) hug will be like, how excited you are to see each other one day, are all ways to keep that love and excitement alive whilst also subtly re-affirming the other’s place in your life. Like dude, it’s fun to even make a bucket list with all sorts of plans for what you can do when you meet. 

Meeting in person is the best way to know whether you want to be together, and stay that way. There’s nothing wrong with planning it out! 

don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind (aka just get it out there!!)

I would argue that this might be the most important thing. No matter what stage your relationship is at, learn to be vulnerable with one another and get used to being candid, especially romantically. This is especially important in LDRs.

It’s normal when you’re figuring things out to be afraid to say certain things or touch on certain topics because you’re flustered or nervous, but chances are they’re feeling the same things too. This could be anything from saying “I love you” when you want to, asking directly for something (“I kinda wish I could ___ with you”), to not holding back on compliments, needs, or voicing thoughts related to your partner. If you can manage it, say it.

If it makes you feel self-conscious, it’s probably a good thing to share! Not only can they help you work through it, but it’ll encourage you both to be totally comfortable expressing yourselves and your needs. In both the most innocent and more serious ways, learning to trust and be open with one another will be incredibly beneficial in the long run- it means you’ll be able to talk about anything. You have nothing to hide, they won’t judge you :’)

don’t let nsfw (if applicable) be a taboo thing!

Don’t be afraid or ashamed of anything you think or feel when it comes to yourself or your partner. Learn to be comfortable with expressing some of your thoughts and experiences, your likes and dislikes, and anything else with one another. Like everything else, this is a part of who you are and sexual/sensual experiences can be a shared conversation.

A good middle ground when you’re still breaking the ice in this sense is to let yourselves laugh about it. Don’t be shy- make those bad jokes, call each other out and ask risky questions! Like everything else, comfort is key. The less you have to hold back with one another, the more you can laugh and smile and joke where it helps, the more fun and enjoyable those initial moments will be.

And above all else, support your partner’s vulnerability! Certain topics may be harder for you or them. Accept their honesty and chime in with your own thoughts/ideas. It’ll be fun, I promise.

Just for general advice, I would say make even the little moments special. Make a big deal out of the little things, send each other birthday/christmas presents and love the shit out of each other. You can’t always hug or go on dates like an irl couple but keep in mind that the long distance isn’t forever. It’s a real relationship, don’t let anyone discourage it and remember why you chose your person in the first place. That’s the main thing probably? Do whatever feels best for you and your favourite person.

[burnedbyshoto]

Hi! I have a request for Shouto x reader imagine or headcanons where they're separated due to covid. Since Shouto is an essential worker being a hero and all, he doesn't want to potentially get the reader sick. How would they handle that/what kind of cute (or dirty, ahem) LDR antics would they get up to?

so... I couldn’t really make this cute or sexy because the more I thought about it the more I felt like this was ignoring the reality and the horrors of being a front line essential worker, which todoroki shouto along with all the heroes would most likely become. i’m warning you now that if you have issues with COVID-19 please do not read. i’m trying to be as realistic as possible, while also trying to keep the original request in mind. there is fluff, but it’s bittersweet fluff. the fluff that makes you think that its cute, but there’s too much going on for it to be heaven.

I... I can’t tell you honestly. I know that this is supposed to be cute and possibly sexy, but I don’t see this as being a fun and cute time in a relationship, especially with shouto. the role as a hero in a time like this seems... sporadic. most people would take indoors when they should be, if they’re not being fucking stupid and ignoring quarantine orders. 

with a lack of people out doors due to forced orders, basic things like robbery and mugging would go down because there’s no one around, meaning that heroes would most likely be guarding businesses that are considered to be essential. there might be some still patrolling the streets because if I was a villain i’d use this time of no one being around to do my dirty work. 

but this isn’t a lockdown... it isn’t something that will be fixed or improved within a week or a month. the effects of COVD-19 are going to remain in society until we all die out. the reality is, the virus most likely won’t be removed from society until 2021 especially seeing how -- like in america -- where idiot fucking people are ignoring social distancing and stuff under the idea that it’s a hoax or because it is their right, liberty, and freedom to get a haircut. but of course, with the implication of a quirk having world, who knows what that would entail. would there be anarchy? people relentlessly using their quirks to make a point? to get what they want and need in their hysteria?

quirks are power, and honestly, we humans suck ass when we get power. people use it to their advantage, twisting and pulling until they have more. we humans don’t know when to stop. 

so to me, if shouto was having to go out there daily, in a quarantined and restless society where he can only hope that he doesn’t contract it or even carry it back home, he’s going to be strict. so what is he going to do?: 

— the six feet apart rule doesn’t even exist. he’s got to make you find somewhere else to stay at this time if you’re not essential either. he doesn’t want to bring it home to you, he doesn’t want to see you getting sick. and if you’re an essential worker, then its the six feet apart rule, you’re still not going to be getting sick because of him.

— he calls you at the end of the day, and it’s going to be rough. he’s probably going to be guarding, assisting the front line medical workers in any way that he can. he’s going to see people dying who he couldn’t save, and had no way to save. he’s going to be still. unmoving. exhausted. talk to him, listen to him, be there for him.

— this isn’t going to be fun time in your relationship. it’s going to be so fucking impossibly hard that it can make or break you guys. shouto seems to internalize a lot of his guilt, and yes he’s going to tell you every single bit of his guilt, but this is extremely different. 

— if you have a sudden increase of a sex drive, don’t force anything on him. he’s the essential worker right now, you can get off on your own, but do not ever complain about your own friskiness to him. shouto is going to give you what you want, but that is unfair and inconsiderate to what he’s going through.

— mail services are still up in america, so i’ll assume they’re the same in japan, so what you can do is send daily letters to him. even though you guys speak and facetime and whatnot, send him letters. he likes writing letters, and seeing that you did a little something for him despite constantly talking with him will make him feel better. 

— learn how to make soba for him, send him your homemade soba if you can, try to find someone willing to put it outside of your guys home for him.

— remind him that he’s doing the best that he can, that things will be okay, that you’re here for him because holy hell he is going to remember every face he couldn’t save. he’s going to appear on camera with red tinted eyes on multiple occasions and it’s your job to be his hero. don’t let him give up hope.

— and when it starts to finally go down, when that curve finally goes down and stays down, the first time you see each other I imagine it going something akin to dramatic romances. he finally comes home after a long day at work, and he immediately moves to shower. he gets outs, water dripping from his hair and he sees you standing in the room. it’s quiet, him half believing its a hallucination because its been months since he’s seen you and he’s hallucinated you there before at trying times. and you’re unable to believe that after so long he’s finally there. 

— there’s no kissing, just a heavy breathe because he wants to cry but he’s long ago cried off all his tears and the two of you sink to the floor. in each others arms, faces buried in each others necks while you embrace. its vulnerable, its broken, but is it perfect right now because for so long the two of you had to be strong even with tears streaming down your faces. 

— you’ve never heard him mumble I love you as many times as you did that night when the two of you collapse onto the bed, your pjs on, the sheets of your bed finally against your skin again.

— he’s grateful to have you back, healthy and alive

— and you thank anything that he stayed healthy and alive

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

summary: cyrus and tj are childhood best friends. tj’s there for him when cyrus comes out to his family and it doesn’t go well, he watches him grow up and be proud of who he is, and he may or may not fall in love in the process. the only issue is, he’s not nearly as proud of himself as cyrus is. and yeah, cyrus is always gonna be there for tj, but now, a recent college grad, he’s done hiding. will they make it out together?

word count: 6.2K

(hey so i kinda accidentally deleted the whole thing and lost all of my formatting so other than the major flashbacks the previously italicized things aren’t anymore and it bugs me too but just like,, deal with it)

taglist: @citrus-thelonious @heart-eyes-kippen @danceacademys @kippenmittens @vi-the-best-you-can @tjskipping @simplycyrus @luzawithoutu @lizzybeth-eleventyseven @green-lemonboys @oblivioustj @theobligatedklutz @nineteenohtwo @theconfusedravenclaw @i-swear-its-just-me @bambiandambi @isisisak @fallout-of-my-chair

“TJ?” Cyrus’ voice shook, cracking from the tears, but whispered from fear of his parents overhearing.

TJ may have been asleep before, but he sure as hell wasn’t now, hearing that tone in his best friend’s voice. “Cyrus? What’s wrong?”

His tone remained hushed, even less stable than before, “Can I stay over at your house tonight?”

TJ glanced over at his clock. 2:38am. Why now?

“Please,” Cyrus choked out.

TJ didn’t even hesitate in answering, “Of course. Come in through my window, okay?”

Not even ten minutes later, Cyrus crawled through the window and stood for a moment before body racking sobs erupted from him. It was painful to watch, and TJ wanted to burn alive whatever could’ve possibly made him feel that way. He didn’t deserve that. He never could.

Cyrus collapsed into TJ, who gripped him like he was falling off the edge of the earth. He knew for a fact then that he would always be there to catch him.

But Cyrus was gone before TJ woke up that morning.

———

“Hey,” TJ caught up to Cyrus while walking in the hallway towards their history class. To say that he was scared for his friend after what happened the night before was an understatement. “Are you okay?”

Cyrus laughed incredulously, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He hoisted his textbooks closer to his chest.

TJ furrowed his brows. “Last ni—“

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The look on his face was something terrifying. His lips were pressed into a tight smile, but his eyes told three stories at once. They told him to shut up, they told him he was angrier than TJ had ever seen him, they told him that he was still aching, still crushed from whatever happened.

“Okay,” TJ spoke slowly, “but you know I’ll always be here for you, right? No matter what’s going on?”

Cyrus’ hard visage almost melted for a second, like he wanted to cave in so badly, but after a flicker of fear sparked in his eyes, he shifted his gaze to his feet and continued walking.

“Yeah. I know.”

———

“What do you mean you’re ‘not gay anymore’? That isn’t exactly something you can just switch on and off, you know,” Buffy retorted, bewildered by the words coming out of her best friend’s mouth. Andi sat beside her, equally surprised and confused.

“I mean, I’m not gay anymore. It was a mistake, I probably just judged my feelings wrong or something,” Cyrus mumbled, then sighed, straightening up in his seat. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, alright?”

“Too bad, because something obviously happened if you went from total heart eyes with Jonah and TJ and running away after kissing Iris to suddenly being straight, so spill,” Buffy pushed back, trying to make sense of her friend’s behavior.

Andi leaned forward, taking his hands in hers. “Look, Cyrus, you don’t have to tell us anything, but we’re here for you no matter what, okay? We’re always gonna be here for you.”

His eyes grew misty despite not losing their closed-off demeanor, and he threw them a watery smile. “Thanks. I...” he trailed off. “I want to tell you, but I can’t. I want to tell you so badly, you know.” He stood up then, grabbing his coat. “I’m just gonna take off and head home,” he paused, “see you guys later.”

Andi and Buffy shared a worried look, shoving their baby taters away from them a bit.

They lost their appetite.

———

Sophomore year just began, and yet TJ was swamped with homework already, which became his primary focus on his walk home from school. This explains why he ran directly into someone while trying to think through his schedule, and how the hell he was possibly going to handle math this year.

TJ quickly moved to apologize, “Oh, sorry— Cyrus? Hey, what’re you doing?”

Cyrus gave him a tight-lipped smile. It’d been two years since they last talked, two years and a little bit more since that night. “I’m on my way to Andi’s,” he explained.

TJ looked down, squinting. “With two suitcases and a duffel bag?”

Cyrus nodded, yanking his jacket to cover his torso more. “Yep.”

TJ grew even more obviously concerned. “Is everything alright?”

Cyrus closed his eyes and took a terse sigh. “Everything is fine, TJ. Mind your business, please.” He shoved past the taller boy, making his way to, presumably, Andi’s house.

•••

“For two years, I’ve let you all do this to me. I’ve tried to be the mediator, I’ve tried to repress it all, but for god’s sakes, you’re all the therapists here! This is your job! Not only as a therapist, but as a parent, you should support and be there for your kids!” He took a sigh. “This is not just something I’m confused about, alright? This is a part of me that I’ve known for years, and a part of me that I’ve had for even longer. You don’t get to choose what parts of me you want around, you get all of me, or none at all. Take your pick.”

His mother closed her eyes, while the other three adults stared at him with disdain and pity, something you should never be getting from your fucking parents. “If you’re going to choose to continue living this way, then I guess we’re forced to say none at all, Cyrus.”

Cyrus’ hand shook as he pointed at her. “You are not forced in this situation, Mom. You are the one making a choice, not me.”

“Just make this easier on everyone and start packing your things,” his father interjected.

Cyrus did so, body-racking sobs overtaking him all the meanwhile, reminding him of the first time he’d tried to bring this up around them, the last time he had his rock still around.

The four adults watched him leave, they watched as he stopped himself in the doorway and turned back to say to them. “If you really think I’m going to hell, I’ll see you all there.”

The door slammed shut, and yet it was the most silent moment that house had ever had.

•••

Two weeks after their run-in, TJ spots Cyrus waltzing into school with a pride pin adorning his typical polo shirt.

Cyrus may have been proud of himself, but TJ was almost prouder.

———

The first time Cyrus got a boyfriend was when TJ really noticed it. The weird aching yet stabbing feeling in his chest, that wait, something is wrong here feeling.

That green-eyed monster feeling.

Had TJ thought it was weird he’d never really gotten a crush before while all of his friends would talk about girls all the time? No, maybe he was just a late bloomer, he presumed. Did he feel off whenever one of his teammates comments on how hot a girl is and he can’t bring himself to understand why he thinks that? No, he probably just didn’t think that specific girl was cute. Right?

Did TJ notice a weird fluttery feeling, a swoop in his stomach, something his friends only associated with their girlfriends, every time he saw Cyrus as of late? Hell yeah, he did.

And it was terrifying.

When Cyrus got a boyfriend, it made it even worse. Especially when everyone kept saying that they were shoe-ins for homecoming royalty, and that they would be the two to make it all the way past college, that they were perfect for each other. Especially since this was the period of time that Cyrus chose to become better friends with TJ again, because he “missed his company”.

Yeah, okay, guess he’ll just deal with it then. Right?

———

The universe was now obviously out to get him. That had to be it.

Two more years passed, TJ’s crush didn’t let up, and neither did his guard. He remained heavily in the closet, and was prepared to stay there for potentially the rest of his life. It’s not like people wouldn’t support him, I mean, there’s only two homophobic assholes at their school and TJ could definitely handle them, plus, his mom seemed pretty open-minded with things. The whole concept to him was just terrifying. Too many layers of different.

Anyways, two years passed, and TJ received a text from his best friend that would either ruin or save his life.

Him and Cyrus got into the same college. Cyrus’ boyfriend did not.

The universe had to be fucking with him, at this point, like come on.

———

TJ’s night before graduation was surprisingly filled with pints of ice cream and cheesy romcoms that were easy to make fun of.

Oh yeah, Cyrus’ boyfriend broke up with him that day, something about not wanting to deal with an LDR, and that he wasn’t expecting it to last, anyway. Naturally, TJ stepped in to his role as best friend and offered a place for him to sleepover.

After Cyrus threw popcorn at the screen in anger for the third time that night, he huffed and grabbed the remote to pause the movie. “I’m over this. I can’t watch this anymore. It’s unrealistic.” He looked over to TJ, who was already looking back at him. He always was, wasn’t he? “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

TJ shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in a relationship,” he pointed out.

Cyrus sat in thought for a moment, drying tear stains shining from the glow of the TV. “Oh, wait, wow, you’ve never been in a relationship. Why the hell have you never been in a relationship?”

“I... don’t know,” he replied, but as he looked at the boy in front of him, he realized he knew exactly why.

It had always been him.

•••

A small brunette boy walked up behind the sandbox timidly. He asked with a small voice, “Can I help you make sandcastles?”

The blonde boy already sitting in the box, knees already covered in sand, turned around to see the other boy. “Yeah, of course! Do you wanna make the moat?”

The brunette boy nodded and knelt down to play with the blonde. From a distance, some of the blonde’s friends pointed and laughed. “Look, Kippen’s playing with the baby!”

As the brunette’s face dropped, the blonde knew then that he would make sure he never felt sad like that. He turned to look at the boy and said, “Don’t listen to them, they don’t know what they’re saying. They’re just a bunch of butts.”

The brunette laughed, and the blonde already loved the sound. “I’m TJ.”

“I know.” The brunette threw him a small smile. “Cyrus.”

•••

“I don’t know, TJ, something just feels off, you know? Like, I should like her, she’s my girlfriend, but I don’t know,” Cyrus ranted.

TJ internally huffed. For some reason, he always hated it when Cyrus talked about his girlfriend, Iris. He didn’t exactly know why. “Maybe you just don’t like her, Cy.”

“But she’s exactly like me! She’s like the perfect girl! And yet, nothing,” Cyrus rambled, exasperated.

“Maybe that’s why. I mean, they do say opposites attract, right?” TJ shrugged.

Cyrus squinted at him in thought. “Maybe.”

TJ couldn’t help but notice that the two of them were almost complete opposites and yet they were the best of friends.

•••

To say that TJ was jealous was an understatement.

That day was the third day in a row that Cyrus blew him off to hang out with Andi and Buffy. It was obvious he had a crush on one of them, and that’s why they had so many closed meetings. It had to be. He had just broken up with Iris, maybe he realized he actually had a crush on one of the two girls he’d grown close with over the course of middle school. TJ just wanted his best friend back.

TJ slammed his locker door shut with a huff, turning to nearly run into a confused Cyrus. “Hey, what’s wrong, Teej?”

TJ closed his eyes for a moment. “It’s nothing.”

Cyrus only grew more concerned. “It’s obviously something if it’s bothering you this much.”

TJ sighed. “Do you like Andi or Buffy?”

Cyrus’ eyes widened. “No, of course not! What in the world could possibly make you think that?!”

“You keep blowing me off for them,” TJ replied in a small voice.

“Ohhh,” Cyrus’ doe eyes widened more in realization. “Believe me, TJ, there is no way that I like either of them. I just really needed to talk something through with them.”

“What could you talk about with them and not me?” TJ asked.

“School project, that’s all. I’m really sorry for blowing you off, TJ,” Cyrus replied, patting TJ’s shoulder, then making his way to class.

———

College was underway, and with more and more work piling up and super conflicting schedules, TJ and Cyrus drifted apart again. It wasn’t intentional this time, at least, they just didn’t have enough time to see each other.

Despite not being around each other anymore, TJ still watched Cyrus thrive. He watched Cyrus join the college’s GSA and soon become president of it, he watched Cyrus put out his first short film as it quickly became a big hit, he watched as Cyrus’ film became a stand out piece in a local film festival— the first one to feature a gay main couple, and he watched as Cyrus headlined his own float for LGBT+ members of the film industry at their local pride parade. He watched Cyrus come into his own.

And yet, TJ was still trapped himself.

He studied education with a minor in history, he was a star player on the school’s basketball team, and he had a few friends. A couple friends. A friend. A roommate. Who was gone half the time with his girlfriend.

He wanted to be out, god knows he wanted to be out so badly. He wanted to confront and yell at himself, asking, why the hell aren’t you being who you are?! What’s your excuse?! Why’re you such a coward?!

Because if he truly lived as he was, maybe he would be that much happier. Have some actual friends. Do something other than work.

But god knows he couldn’t do that.

So he watched Cyrus do it instead.

———

They graduated.

TJ had a job now, he’d become a guidance counselor at a middle school maybe ten minutes away from Shadyside. Not exactly his intention going into education, but it worked well enough.

He couldn’t help but think that a certain brunette would be much better at breaking down young minds than he would be, but that certain brunette was debuting his first major film in a local theater that weekend. It was a memoir type story, about his life. TJ was too busy to see it.

It was mid afternoon in late October when it happened. TJ had been walking to his apartment, headphones in, when he ran into a stranger walking the opposite direction. He turned to apologize, “Oh, sorry— Cyrus Goodman?”

The man turned to look at him. “TJ Kippen?”

TJ smiled. “Hey, long time, no collision.”

Cyrus gave him an easygoing smile. “Yeah, I guess so.”

TJ shrugged his jacket on more, the cold biting at his spine, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I heard you’ve got a movie coming out this weekend?” At Cyrus’ proud nod, he continued, “I know how much you’ve loved doing that stuff. I’m really proud of you.” You have no idea how proud I am.

“Thanks, TJ,” Cyrus replied, his countenance only growing softer. Then, suddenly, he grimaced. “I guess we lost contact again, huh?”

It’s not like I wanted to. “Yeah.”

“How about I get your number and socials so that doesn’t happen again?” Cyrus said, an apparent teasing lilt to his voice.

TJ smiled softly. “Of course.”

———

Within weeks, the two became inseparable again. Yeah, they had busy schedules, but they were adults now. Priorities.

And apparently, these priorities included binging Netflix on a Friday night and ordering pizza at Cyrus’ house.

Everything that had happened between the two of them over the course of the time they had reconnected reminded TJ so vividly of the last two years of high school, it was like his giddy schoolboy crush had come back tenfold, like he had his favorite elementary school buddy back. They had both matured, sure, but they were still the same. They were still TJ and Cyrus. Attached by the hip.

“Everything on here is shitty, let’s just talk,” Cyrus suggested, turning to face TJ while they both sat on the couch.

“Okay,” TJ shrugged. “Talk about what?”

“Don’t know, didn’t think I’d get that far,” Cyrus joked, the two of them sharing a small laugh.

“Any boys?” TJ asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Cyrus shoved him with his elbow, laughing, “What is this, a middle school sleepover?”

“You didn’t say no,” TJ teased.

“No, there are no boys,” Cyrus replied, rolling his eyes. “What about you, any girls catching your eye lately?”

TJ laughed, mildly nervous now, the same as he always was whenever the topic of girls came up. “N-no, no girls.”

Cyrus scoffed, mouth full of pizza. “Please, a guy like you’s gotta have tons of ladies falling all over you.”

TJ shrugged again, more falling in on himself now, “I guess, I just don’t like any of them, though.”

Cyrus raised an eyebrow. “Did you have a girlfriend in college or anything either?”

TJ shook his head, crossing his arms to hide his now fidgety hands.

“TJ, have you ever even liked—“

“Cyrus, just... drop it.”

Cyrus just furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed the remote. “Ohhh...kay.” He switched it over to Hulu and picked a random show for them to watch, the comfortable silence from before having shifted into one of tension.

———

To say TJ was nervous was an understatement.

Why was he so nervous? He had no reason to be this nervous. He had 23 years to prepare for this moment, and yet he was still fucking nervous. His hands shook as he slowly took a seat on a park bench, the one nearly twenty feet away from the swing set. Their old swing set.

TJ had arrived 20 minutes earlier than he asked Cyrus to meet him, as an attempt to try and calm himself down. So far, it wasn’t working, all he could think about was how horrible this could end; how once he said it, he could never go back. It would be real.

Cyrus, being Cyrus, got there ten minutes after TJ did, slowing his pace of approaching when taking in TJ’s nervous state. “Hey, Teej, you alright?” he asked, taking his seat next to TJ.

“No,” TJ mumbled.

“I know you wanted to tell me something, but if it stresses you out this much, you don’t have to,” Cyrus said, placing his arm on his friend’s shoulder. He removed it quickly, however, when TJ flinched away. “D-did I do something?”

“No,” TJ jumped to respond. “I just, I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this, I have no reason to be, I—“

“But you are, and those feelings are valid, alright?” Cyrus said softly, as if approaching a small animal. TJ hated it. He wasn’t some fucking bunny, why couldn’t he just say it?

“Cyrus,” TJ started almost breathlessly, then took a deep sigh, looking at the ground. “I’m gay.”

“Teej.” Cyrus took TJ’s hands in his, forcing him to look back up at him. “I am so proud of you, you know that, right? I know how hard it is to come out and say it— no pun intended. Thank you for trusting me with this,” he continued, a soft smile ever present on his face.

“Of course I trust you,” TJ replied in almost a rasp. “I just feel bad that I never told you earlier.”

“You know when it’s the right time, TJ.” Cyrus let go of his hands then, and TJ did his best to mask his disappointment as he leaned back in his seat. “If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you known?”

•••

“Don’t listen to them, they don’t know what they’re saying. They’re just a bunch of butts.”

•••

“I mean, they do say opposites attract, right?”

•••

“I know how much you’ve loved doing that stuff. I’m really proud of you.”

•••

TJ closed his eyes. As long as I’ve known you. “I don’t know. Maybe I always have. Just didn’t wanna face it, I guess.”

Cyrus looked down at the ground, at his feet, nodding. “I can understand that.”

TJ looked over at Cyrus, not moving his head, and seconds later Cyrus did the same, causing them both to break out in small laughter. “Hey, now we can watch gay movies together and I can tease you about boys!” Cyrus quipped.

TJ laughed along, the two boys leaning into each other with their shoulders, and TJ tried his best to hide the small blush appearing on his cheeks.

Maybe coming out wouldn’t be that bad.

———

So maybe coming out was that bad.

It wasn’t him, necessarily, instead it was his sister, Amber. She’d brought her girlfriend home to introduce to their parents the past weekend, and apparently it hadn’t ended well, considering TJ heard nothing about it until he visited home the following weekend.

“What do you mean I shouldn’t talk to my sister anymore? Did Amber end up in jail or something?” TJ asked, sitting by the kitchen island while his mother made herself a salad.

The woman set the small knife in her hand down on the counter and turned around to face TJ, a horrifyingly icy look etched into her eyes. “Did you know that she was a homo?”

And that’s when his heart dropped into his feet.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and hoped to god that his mother didn’t notice how his face paled at her statement, saying, “No, I had no idea.”

He stared back down at the marble on the kitchen island, memorizing every crack and crevice held inside while his mother talked about who knows what— it all sounded muddled as if he was underwater to him, and he quickly escaped the confinements of the house that no longer felt like home after dinner, pulling the excuse of having lots of extra work to do out of thin air.

That’s what it felt like he was breathing. Thin air, less and less and less of it. He was suffocating.

———

Cyrus and TJ grown a lot closer since TJ came out, their glances just a little longer and their smiles just a little softer, and their Friday movie nights almost became a unspoken mandatory thing. But Cyrus noticed that TJ had been more closed off that past week, and it especially showed when he came over to watch some movie that Friday. They settled down to the couch, but significantly further away than usual.

“What, are you not going to let me use the blanket tonight or something?” Cyrus teased with a small laugh.

TJ almost snapped out of whatever dazed state he was in and tossed Cyrus the other end of the blanket with a “Yeah, sorry.”

Cyrus looked him up and down, then put the TV remote back on the table. “You know what? No movie tonight. We’re talking about whatever the hell is throwing you off.”

“Cyrus, I don’t wanna talk about it,” TJ sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Okay, fine,” Cyrus replied, turning his body to face TJ completely. “Then we can talk about something else.”

TJ knew what he was doing, they would talk about something else and then he would pull his psychoanalyzing shit and maneuver the conversation to what was bothering him because it’s not good to bottle things up. He knew that. Maybe TJ did wanna talk about it, but he couldn’t.

“Fine, whatever.”

Cyrus fiddled with a tassel on the blanket. “Any boys?” he asked, causing TJ’s breath to hitch.

Yeah, you, but it’s not like you or anyone else can ever know that.

“TJ,” Cyrus whispered, putting his hand on TJ’s, “talk to me.”

Goddamnit.

TJ looked up into Cyrus’ eyes, trying to say something, anything, but he was frozen still. At least, he was until he noticed Cyrus looking at him with the same intensity he had. He found himself leaning in and Cyrus doing the same, the closeness almost becoming overwhelming.

“Cyrus, I—“

And then they were kissing.

It was perfect, really, the feeling was amazing and the massive choir of anxiety that seemed to hover over TJ all the time lately faded in the background for a minute. He let himself enjoy it, because the second it was over, he would have to deal with it all, with all the consequences that come with it.

After Cyrus pulled away, TJ’s eyes remained closed before slowly fluttering open. Trying to form a coherent sentence at Cyrus’ expectant gaze, the best thing he could come up with was, “Are you pitying me?”

Cyrus grew an incredulous face. “What? No, TJ, I like you.”

I like you.

Oh my god, he likes me.

“I like you, too, Cy.”

The two boys shared a soft and private smile, before Cyrus mumbled, “So, what does this mean, then?”

TJ shrugged, “I don’t know, what do you want it to mean?”

Cyrus looked at him with an incredibly adorable hopeful smile that was hard to look away from. “Boyfriends?”

Ah, shit.

Cyrus obviously could see his face drop at the word, notes by his “What?”

TJ sighed. “Cyrus, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to ask me that, for any of what’s happened today to happen. But...”

“But what? What’s the problem?” Cyrus scoffed.

“I’m still not ready for any of this. I thought I would be, I mean, I should be by now, but I’m not. I can still barely say the fucking word out loud, let alone have a public relationship and ask someone else to deal with my bullshit fear. I really, really like you, Cyrus, but there is no fucking way that I can be any form of out right now. So unless you’re cool with, like, a secret relationship, then I can’t let anything happen right now, no matter how much it devastates me.”

Cyrus just sat in silence in front of him, eyebrows furrowed in thought. TJ watched him as the warmth slowly drained out of his eyes and was replaced with ice, the one face he never thought he would see from the brunette. Cyrus started speaking, a steady yet terrifying tone to his voice, “You think I haven’t been waiting for this, TJ? Are you kidding? I’ve liked you since, like, middle school. But I can’t do that for you, I can’t have a secret relationship. I’m not going to shove myself back in the closet just because you’re scared. I did that for way too long for too many people, and there’s no way I’m doing it again. I’m too proud of who I am now to do that.” Cyrus scooted away from him on the couch, biting his nail, before adding, “I hope that one day you are too.”

“Me too,” TJ whispered, before quickly gathering his things. “I’m gonna head out.”

“I think that would be best,” Cyrus replied quietly, tone filled with disappointment.

Shutting Cyrus’ front door felt like severing a limb.

———

Two days later, TJ got an email.

It was an automated email, from Cyrus to a bunch of his closest friends, inviting them all to watch a filming of a scene for a movie he was directing. Cyrus probably forgot to remove him from the list after what happened. He wouldn’t still want him to come, would he?

He decided to go.

He showed up the next day to the set mid-scene, probably ten minutes late, and immediately took note of Cyrus sitting in his chair. He looked drained, paler than usual, irritated. TJ hates that it was probably his fault.

He stood a distance away from the rest of the standing audience, spotting Andi and Buffy across the room, older than he had last seen them but still just as lively. Andi had grown out her hair to her shoulders with a few blonde streaks in it, and Buffy donned business attire, a large briefcase next to her suggesting to him that she’d arrived there from her job. He wondered what they’d ended up doing with their lives, but he was snapped out of his reverie by Cyrus’ exclamation.

“Oh my god, are you kidding? Can’t you see the level of emotion this monologue is supposed to have? Do you need me to act this out for you?” Cyrus shouted, getting up. “Here, give me the script,” he continued angrily as he marched toward the actor, who handed him the script fearfully.

Cyrus began reading, fully in character, not taking his eyes off the paper at first. “I know it’s gotta be hard for you, right? I mean, you have all these expectations to live up to, most of which come from your own head. I know you’re scared, Tyler. But don’t you think that I am, too? I’ve got expectations, too. I have so many people that hate me for who I am without even knowing who I am. I used to be so fucking terrified of it all, for god’s sake, my parents hated it too. But I’m proud of myself now. I don’t hate it anymore, I can’t hate something I can’t control. You can’t either.”

Cyrus looked up from the paper, locking eyes with TJ. TJ didn’t think those eyes could possibly get any deeper.

“You could be up here with me, above all of those shitty high school bullies and annoying parents and idiot strangers. I know that you have it in you, Tyler. You should give yourself the ability to be whoever the hell you want to be. You deserve to be yourself, don’t you understand that?”

Cyrus took a step forward. He was speaking to TJ now, it was obvious to anyone watching. But for some reason, it felt like no one was.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

And damnit, TJ broke.

He stormed out quickly, not angrily, but instead trying to hide the free flowing tears dripping off his face.

Inside, Cyrus dropped the script, saying quietly while moving to follow TJ out,  “Uh, just excuse me for a minute.”

TJ had made his way well down the sidewalk, but Cyrus caught up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. TJ whipped around, wiping his face, to which Cyrus responded softly, “You came.”

TJ closed eyes for a moment before mumbling, “Of course I came.”

Cyrus launched into a ramble, “TJ, I didn’t mean to make that about you, I just’ve been so hung up over this, the movie isn’t even related to what’s going on and, god, I’m sorry I didn’t remove you from the goddamn email list, I—“

“You were right, though,” TJ interrupted.

“What?” Cyrus froze.

“You were right.” TJ took a step closer to him. “I shouldn’t be afraid anymore.”

“But what about what you said? About not being ready?” Cyrus whispered, also inching closer to him.

“I’m still not, Cy. I’m terrified,” TJ admitted, “because once I face it, it’s real, I can’t hide it away anymore.”

“Oh.”

“But,” TJ continued, taking another step forward, “if you’re willing to wait just a little longer, I will be ready. I just need time.” At Cyrus’ speechless gaze, he added, “I promise it won’t be another ten years, though.”

“TJ, I’m not hiding again,” Cyrus stated, the most sure he’d been this entire conversation.

“You won’t be.” TJ took a hold of one of Cyrus’ hands. “Just be there for me like you always have been, and I promise you, it’ll happen. I like you too much for it not to.”

“You promise?” Cyrus asked in a whisper.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” TJ replied, his voice raspy and smile soft and small.

Cyrus closed his eyes, sighing. “Alright.”

“Good.”

———

“How about we do something different tonight?” TJ suggested, only two weeks after he made his promise. He had a plan to fulfill it that night.

“What, do you want to watch Hulu instead of Netflix or something?” Cyrus asked, confused.

“No, I mean, let’s go to the movies,” TJ suggested, a wide grin on his face.

A hesitant smile slid its way onto Cyrus’ expression. “You never want to go out, why?”

TJ shrugged, the grin not leaving his face. “Thought it could be fun.”

Cyrus squinted, then smirked. “Drive-in?”

“Like you even need to ask,” TJ scoffed. “Let’s go.”

•••

They had pulled into the lot playing Love, Simon and Booksmart, a hazy glow setting the mood as dusk settles over the crowd. Small fireflies dot the sky, and Cyrus watched them with amazement. TJ looked with amazement too, but not at the fireflies, instead at the brunette boy next to him, wrapped under their shared blanket in the trunk of TJ’s car.

It was in that moment that TJ really got a good look at him; maybe it was the streetlight making his hair glow with a golden tint, or the way the moon reflected in his eyes, but he noticed something here never really had before. There was still his classic smile and the same cheerful brown eyes, but he was no longer the person that TJ had met long ago in middle school. He had grown into his figure, no longer lanky like he was in high school and stood only an inch shorter than himself. He wore less button ups than he used to, especially those with patterns, and TJ couldn’t remember the last time he’d worn a cardigan. He held himself differently than he used to, as well; he seemed more confident, less falling into himself and more chin raised up with somewhat of a sense of pride. He wasn’t the person TJ had gotten to know. He had changed, and TJ got to witness it, he got to see him truly come into his own.

He realized then that this was his chance to do the same.

“Cyrus?” TJ whispered, causing the brunette to tear his eyes away from Simon having a heart to heart with his mother.

“Hm?”

TJ’s voice was caught in his throat, not knowing what to say, where to start, and it was apparently enough for Cyrus to notice, as after a beat, he asked quietly, “Is there something you wanna tell me?”

“Yeah,” he rasped out, inching his hand ever so slightly towards Cyrus’.

Cyrus scooted closer to him, took TJ’s hand in his, and intertwined their fingers. “Then say it.”

TJ’s hand was practically burning, and if he turned his head just a smidge, their faces would be a mere inch apart. It was as if every molecule in his body, every force in the universe was screaming at him to just do it, just say something. “I can’t,” he whispered.

“Why not?” Cyrus asked, matching tone, and this caused TJ to turn his head.

The two boys looked at each other for a moment, as if they were both mapping out every detail of the other’s face, committing every scar and freckle to memory— that is, until TJ shifted his gaze down to Cyrus’ lips, for only a moment, a millisecond.

That must’ve been what did it, what made him snap, because then they were kissing.

It was nothing like the first one, really. The first one was questioning, a puzzle piece sliding into place, figuring out that yes, this is what I want. But this one, this one was passionate, it was I never want to lose you again, it was you’re what was meant for me this entire time, I need you, I love you...

Okay, maybe a little early for that one.

Regardless, it was perfect, and he could see the slight fear in Cyrus’ eyes when they pulled away.

“I have never wanted anything more than to be with you, Cyrus. You know that, right?” TJ mumbled, slightly out of breath.

Cyrus nodded, taking a long blink.

“And, I...” TJ looked down, fiddling with his fingers. He continued, “I’d love to be your boyfriend, if you’ll take me.”

Cyrus smiled at him, almost blinding, filled with affection and pride. He nodded, throwing his arms around TJ’s neck in a tight hug, and TJ held him back just as tight.

———

TJ never told his parents, he never felt like he needed to. He never told his parents when him and Cyrus had started dating, and he never told them three years later that the two of them had gotten engaged. Which is why some may have found it odd that he sent a wedding invitation to them with no warning. Needless to say, they never RSVP’d.

It might’ve been weird to that same some that neither of the two men’s families were at the wedding, no parents of either groom present for slow dances, only many, many friends that they had made throughout the years, old and new. But it was perfect to them. It was theirs.

[kyemeruthie]

One month CLOY recovery

Finished Crash Landing On You during the Feb 25 holiday. I was processing the whole series that time; I have yet to recover from Seo Dan - Gu Seung Ju’s fate in the end; and can’t start a new series just yet. One month recovery, I think.

But yes, let me distill some of my thoughts about the series. A friend and I dissected it while cruising the Ortigas - Makati route. Overall, we thought it was way better than Goblin (although I haven’t fully finished that series as I was weirded out by the plot haha so you may not trust my judgment on this), and the whole story was just so good. No words. Chnz.

The ending was justified. They can’t be together because that means desertion from NoKor for Captain Ri, while it could be treason for Se-ri. The decision to allow them to meet in Switzerland every so often was I think the best compromise for both lovers. It’s swoon-worthy but equally insane to think that an artificial border like the 38th parallel line (several kilometers or provinces separate them), and they’re literally crossing the world to meet and profess their love for each other. A North-South Metro Manila love story would just have to choke, so do LDRs across the archipelago because Ri-Ri set the bar higher. Hahaha.

Which brings me to my second point. It’s still a rich person’s lovestory. Imagine if Captain Ri is not the son of a ranking politburo-- he’s a lowkey soldier who happened to save Se-Ri and bring her over to the South. He’d probably in hiding now, or Cheol Gang succeeded in killing both of them. Orrr Se-Ri’s a regular office girl, a secretary who was chosen to try out the company’s new sports outfit, and then unfortunately crash landed on NoKor. She could well have been stuck in the North or smuggled to Chinese borders if she were lucky, exchanged in international waters just how Jumeok described his uncle’s work. If they were anything besides being a chaebol’s daughter and a ranking general’s son, the lovestory would be as tragic as Seo Dan and Seung-Ju’s fateful end (more thoughts on that later). This is not to burst anyone’s bubble (I may just have done that, sorry) but reality allows us to see this perspective. They could have exerted more effort to be together if they were in poorer backgrounds, or ended up yearning for each other from afar hoping a reunification would happen sooner so they can be together. In the end, we’re still world’s apart from experiencing the Ri-Ri lovestory in real life. Just highlights how, even in love, inequality still persists. 

Lastly, Seo Dan’s story arc shows a fresh perspective for second leads and kontrabida especially female characters. One, I liked that she hashed it out with Captain Ri in Ep 16. She broke off the engagement and made it clear that she’s finally ok. Two, there were less scenes of Se-Ri - Seo Dan’s ~bloody confrontations. Scenes where they really fight over a guy or do something drastic to get the attention of Captain Ri. They were both level-headed adults. I guess the closest was when Seo Dan moved to the village to make it clear she’s the fiance. Three, her choice to move forward in life without getting married was a strong statement against a predominant Asian culture where women are expected to be a dutiful wife and mother. The show gave her enough room to express herself through music and travelling the world. As much as I wanted her and Gu Seung-Jun to have a chance to be together, I felt it was realistic that he died in the end. The gunshots were fatal; let’s admit that the hospital in NoKor is not fully equipped for this emergency, so he definitely would have died either way. It was also a sobering realization that love alone won’t keep us alive. Again, our socio-economic backgrounds and political realities may always have something to do with the way our love stories are shaped.

Bonus points on the women steering the NoKor village, and the all-out support from Captain Ri’s team. The NIS also receives my love for allowing Captain Ri to compose a year’s worth of messages for Se-Ri. How he had enough time to do that during his detention, I wouldn’t know. Seo Dan’s mom is a favorite character. Best omma, I think.

There. I think I’ve poured out enough thoughts about CLOY. Reply 1988′s still my favorite SoKor drama, followed closely by Signal and Full House. CLOY is on the top five. Watch it to join the hype, but more importantly to experience the roller coaster feelings we had. 5 over 5.

[paulkwauk]

Keeping a Romantic Relationship Online Alive

A lot of people nowadays manage to establish a romantic relationship through the use of the internet. They found their partners by making use of dating and even social networking sites. But not all who are dating online manage to keep their connection alive. Some lose interest after a short while. Others feel discouraged from keeping a long-distance relationship going and give up. These things shouldn’t worry you if you’re planning on finding a partner on the web, though. There are ways that can prevent an LDR from failing.

Of course, the most obvious approach to this for lovers to keep a healthy romantic relationship while being apart. Since you can’t be physically together, you should at least make an effort to communicate with one another. You can make use of instant messaging or social media sites to chat. Be honest and get to know each other by giving updates about your lives. You may also want to ask about what the other person is going through and offer how you could help with the struggles to show your love and concern.

Chatting can only do so much, on the other hand. If you want to show that you care about a person who’s far away from you, you could try reaching out through different means. Sending presents and food could work. There are now food delivery services that you can contact for this method. Still, you have the option to give a person gift certificates or paid vouchers for services.

Aside from having constant communication, meaningful conversations, and tangible gifts, a couple should also work on knowing each party’s friends and family. After all, doing these things would prove to one another that each person has the sense of acceptance and accommodation.

This advice may prove to be costly and time-consuming but often love entails sacrifices that end up being worth it in the long run.

[lady-kaichou]

Alive But Not Living

Oh, how you love sipping green tea,

While movements are whirring

Their innermost secrets you keep,

And sometimes replace gears

'Cept when your thoughts center 'round me,

Your heartbeat starts elevating

I proved myself unworth upkeep,

By causing you daymares

In which you can't stop picturing,

How good we could have been

And soon find yourself frustrated,

This sh*t's disheartening

I wish we'd continued talking,

But your patience grew thin

You become straight up disgusted,

When you start reliving

Glasses on hand but you can't see,

Numb yet you're still hurting

Trusted me but my word was cheap,

Downing too many beers

Deprived of food but not hungry,

Gagging without hurling

Yawning yet you can't fall asleep,

Sad but fresh out of tears

No longer in love believing,

Should've listened to kin

"LDR's are complicated,"

Your heart has stopped singing

Going crazy but not screaming,

Shocked but not gray of skin

Lonesome but not isolated,

Alive but not living