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davidlikesguys02 · 4 years ago

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We Interrupt This Program

M/n= Male Name

Bold- Means its on a tv screen.

GIF Not mine

Word count: 2,932

“No, I can't leave Monica.” “mom? It's ok, I can stay with grandma and…” “I can't leave” “maybe I'll build a spaceship. I wanna be an aircraft pilot.” “when they were handing out kids they gave her the toughest one. Lieutenant trouble.” Monica wakes up breathing heavily and hearing crashing and people screaming as she makes her way towards the door and walks out. “Excuse me….” “they're all coming back. We don't have the capacity” the doctor tells her

“Excuse me. I'm looking for a patient. In room 104…” she asks a nurse “who, my wife? Do you have a phone?” “no” “i have to call my wife.” she makes her way towards the front desk “watch out” she bumps into a man, they both fall backwards grunting “let me help you. Are you ok? You ok?” “I got him. I got him.” “Are you ok?” she asks as she gets up groaning. She turns to the lady in the front desk.

“Excuse me. I'm looking for a patient in room number 104.” “I don't know what to tell you” she starts looking around her “Monica?” “oh, Dr. Highland, thank god!” “I can't believe it, where did you go?” “well, in her room since she came back from the surgery. I mean, I might have fallen asleep, but no longer than 20 minutes. Dr. Highland, where's my mom?” “your mom, she died honey” “what? No, no, no, no you're mistaken. My mother...the procedure went well. You said so yourself. Clean margins. You’re discharging her today”

“The cancer came back.” “Okay, stop, stop. No youre...my mom is Maria Rambeau. Look it up. I mean look it up. Maria Rambeau.” “Monica, I don't understand what's happening, but you need to listen to me Marian died three years ago.” “three? No. no. no…” “which was two years after you…” “after i what? After what?” “after you disappeared.”

Monica is walking towards big metal doors. She takes out her keycards but it beeps so she tries again but it beeped again “Ma’am? Over here please” she walked over to him smiling “hi, good morning. I work here. And…” “if you did, your badge would work, wouldn't it?” “right um… I have a meeting with…” “hey. You know who this is?” “..this guy” “Captain Monica Rambeau.” “Director Tyler Hayward”

“Acting Director. You haven't aged a day” “and you look old as hell” Tyler chuckles “come on, let's catch you up. It's been three weeks and you're the first to report. Cant say I'm surprised captain.” “How are the numbers for the astronaut training program?” “ Dismal. Lost half my personnel in The Blip and half of those remaining have lost their nerve. The program hasn't been the same since you've been up there, Rambeau. We shifted away from manned missions and refocused on robotics, nanotech, AI. Sentient Weapons, like it says on the door.”

“It also says observation and response on that door, not creation” “worlds not the same as you left it. Space is now full of unexpected threats” “always was full of threats. And allies” “Listen, Monica, I just wanna acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation. I know S.W.O.R.D.'s your home. Your mom built this place from the ground up. You grew up here. You should've been here to help name the replacement.” “you were the obvious choice”

“I was the only choice.” “I wasn't gonna say it. Look, Tyler, you know the job you have to do. I'm here to do mine.” ”Let's get you back out there.” he takes out his keycard and opens the door to his office. “The FBI is in a tizzy over missing persons case up in Jersey…” “missing persons?” “I know. But they have requested use of one of our imaging drones, and I need a chaperone.”

“Tyler, drones usually chaperone me.” “i get it” “look, if this is because of...you don't have to worry about me. I'm good.” “There's no easy way to say this, but you're grounded.” Monica chuckles “you're kidding. For how long? Who whose protocol is this?” “Your mother's. She implemented guidelines in the event vanished personnel ever returned. Look, I know it's a raw deal, but there is one positive takeaway.” “what's that?” “she believed you'd come back. You'd be doing me a big favor with this FBI thing, but if you need more time…”

“No. no. I'm good to go” “excellent. Keep me updated, captain.” Monica finally arrived at Westview “James E. Woo, FBI” “Monica Rambeau, S.W.O.R.D. what's the story here, agent woo?” “I've got a witness setup down the road in Westview, and this morning, it looked like he flew the coop?” “Your missing person is in the witness protection program?”

“I have contacted known associates, relatives…” “and let me guess, none of them have seen him either?” “No. None of them have ever heard of him. Something seemed hanky to me, so I took the first flight out of Oakland to interface with local law enforcement, which is when I encountered a new wrinkle.” “what's that?” “Pardon me, Sheriff. Would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?” “no such place” “you're saying the town of Westview, New Jersey, does not exist?”

“It's what I keep telling your G-man here, but he won't listen.” “I see. and , um, I'm sorry, what town are you from?” “Eastview” “Thank you, Sheriff. I'll reach out if we need any further assistance. I, uh, pulled phone numbers for all the residents. I'm only through the D’s, but so far I got Diddly Squat.” “So you can't reach anyone inside and everyone on the outside has some sort of selective amnesia?”

“This isn't a missing person's case, Captain Rambeau, it's a missing town. Population: 3,892.” “Why haven't you gone inside to investigate?” “Cause it doesn't want me to. You can feel it too, can't you? Nobody's supposed to go in.” Monica walks over to her car and pulls out a drone. “What about you?” “Me? Well, I'm from Bakersfield, originally. Growing up, other kids had Michael Jordan posters on their walls, but I had Eliot Ness.”

“No, no, no, no. I mean, why is it that you have an awareness of Westview? Or me, for that matter? Is it because we are outside of a certain radius, or maybe because we don't have a personal connection?” She looks at the screen but the drone malfunctions. She looks up and it's gone “Wait, where'd it go?” “It was right there.” she walk towards the town but stops as she hears electricity bussing “whoa..”

“What is it?” “some sort of energy field” “Careful, Rambeau. Captain Rambeau! Watch it. Rambeau! Captain Rambeau! Captain Rambeau!” she sticks her hand in and it pulls her in and she disappears.

24 Hours Later

“Hey. What's your field?” “We're not supposed to talk to each other.” “hmm? Boy scout leader. Got it. And you” Darcy asked a woman next to the boy scout leader. “Nuclear biology” “artificial intelligence” “astrophysics. We got the full clown car. It means whatever the threat is, S.W.O.R.D. clearly has no idea what they're dealing with.” “I'm a chemical engineer” “no one cares”

“Alright grab your gear.” Darcy walks around the S.W.O.R.D. camp. “Ms. Lewis?” “Dr.Lewis” “we have your gear set up inside.” the man walks Darcy inside a tent “those drones you're sending in, what kind of data are you getting?” “I'm afraid that is highly classified.” “You can't see anything? FBI, Army. I saw the Air Force Office of Special Investigations out there. Research Lab, Space Command, too. A bona fide, joint, multi-service response. Really looking forward to the commemorative T-shirt. Is there somewhere a lady could get a cup of coffee? You guys look like you might get down with those little pod things. Horrendous for the environment…”

“Make your assessment, please” “whoa… I mean, whoa..” “what are you getting?” “a colossal amount of CMBR” “CM…” “Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation.” “we've been told the radiation is within a safe limit” “uh, it is… for now” “wait what do you mean” Darcy shushes the man “there's are longer wavelength superimposed over the noise here” she looks under the desk and struggles to get something “I got it”

“I need a TV. an old one. Like, not flat.” After a few hours it started raining. “Are you good to go?” Hayward asked an agent “yes, sir” “these sewers will take you straight into town. Try to find anything you can on Rambeau” “copy that” “keep me updated” Hayward says as he walks away. “Director Hayward, between you, me, and the bedpost, I am not confident about this mission.” “Thanks for the feedback, Jimmy. If only my drones were as forthcoming.”

“There's no reason to suspect the perimeter doesn't extend subterraneous.” “There's no reason to suspect it does.” Jimmy sighs “We don't know enough about the nature of the threat to send in another agent when the first is yet to return.” “Someone must really miss you back in Quantico.” “No, sir. Softball season's over, sir.” “what do we have up?” Hayward asked agent Rodriguez “Radar, sonar, infrared” “cycle through. Will someone get me a useful visual, dammit?”

Everyone hears a studio audience laughing in the tent “what is that?” “Can I see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?” “Who is doing that?” “Who are those people?” “What are you wearing?” “Why are they here?” “Well, it's our anniversary!” “our anniversary of what?” “Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!” “is that..” “ yeah, it looks like him.” “you move at the speed of sound and i can make a pen float through the air, who needs to abbreviate?”

“Look , I know it's been a crazy few years on this planet, but he's dead, right? Not blipped, dead.” “excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer” “what am I looking at? You? What is that? Where's this coming from?” “out there” “you didn’t answer the back door. For your upside-down cake. oh hi, I” “is it authentic?” “I'm not sure how to answer that” “is it happening in real time? Is it recorded, fabricated?” “I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know” “what do you know?” Hayward said annoyed “My equipment registered an extremely high level of CMBR. That's…”

“Relic radiation dating back to the Big Bang.” “Yeah, entwined was a broadcast frequency. So I had your goons pick me up a sweet vintage TV. And when I plug this bad boy in, voilà, sound and picture.” “Dinner is served” “So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?” Jimmy asked, confused “It's a working theory” “Get me a transport back to headquarters now. Are we recording this?”

“Never stopped.” Darcy says “I need immediate analysis. Now, people. Let's go!” “He’s a charmer.” “great work” “hey, thanks, maybe I could get that cup of coffee now? Or not. It's cool.” ”Aw” Darcy turns to the screen to see you and Vision kissing “Aw”

“First and foremost, our main objective is to get any intel on Captain Rambeau, but originally, this case was a missing person, so we're going to start there. We've successfully identified two individuals inside the Westview anomaly. Let's keep going.” Jimmy says as he puts two pictures up of you and Vision. “This guest is leaving your home” “yes, thank you for coming” “Mr. and Mrs. Hart. played by Todd and Sharon Davis.”

“Computational forms. And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal.” “Agent Woo” “you're like a walking computer.” “Abilash Tandon is Norm” “Harold Proctor is Jones” “we got Isabel Matsueida cast as Beverly” “John Collins as Herb.” Darcy gasps, dropping her Noodle cup and calls Jimmy over “Really?” “Does she seem okay to you?” “Well, she doesn't appear to be harmed in any way, but that is definitely not the boss lady I met yesterday.”

“So what, deep cover? Monica has to play along?” “With whom? Or else, what? All right. Brass tacks, Dr. Lewis. What are we looking at here? Is it an alternate reality? Time travel? Some cockamamie social experiment?” “It's a sitcom. A 1950s sitcom.” “But why?”

“Hey, man, we're working with the same scarcity of intel. But, listen, I do have an idea. So, you've seen that radio in M/n’s kitchen counter, right? The next time he's washing dishes, which, by my count, happens about once an episode, barf, we'll shoot a signal to that little guy. This transmitter will mimic the frequency of the broadcast, and if my theory is right, allow us to speak directly to her. This is totally gonna work. Don't touch that.”

“Agent Woo.” agent Rodrigues hands Jimmy a folder inside the folder there's a colored image of a retro S.W.O.R.D. drone “Is this from the current episode?” “aired about two minutes ago.” “What is it?” Darcy asks “what does it look like to you?” “like a retro version of a S.W.OR.D. drone?” “bingo” “but how did it change and why” “uh, to go with the production design” “or render it useless”

“why‘d you colorize it?” “I didn't” Darcy heads back to the tent. “Let's get this show on the road. Jimmy, you ready?” Darcy asks through an earpiece. “Ready” “bigger and better every season” “uh, Jimmy, Monica is talking to M/n. she's got a speaking part now.” “what is she saying?” “those jeans are peachy keen” “she likes M/n’s jeans” “we only have a few hours” “M/n’s at some sort of swim club. We've never been here before.”

“Is it the 60’s still?” “uh, uh, M/n’s with another character.” “real person?” “ohh, uh, radio on the side table. start talking.” “M/n. M/n, can you read me over?” “I don't...” “Can he hear me?” “I don't think so, keep trying.” “M/n?” “M/n?” “M/n. Who is doing this to you, M/n? M/n? Can you hear me? I'm here to help” “please give us a…” “pop quiz M/n how does a housewife or in this case househusband get a bloodstain out of white linen?”

“Wait” “what?” “I don't know” “by doing it yourself” “that's weird” “what was?” “Nothing, it's over. Mission failure” “it was worth a try. Good effort, doctor.” “yeah come in”

Both Jimmy and Darcy are watching you and Vision on TV “darling, do you think it's time to..” “call the doctor?” “yeah” “yes, I do dear” “1950s, 1960s, and now the '70s. Why does it keep switching time periods? It can't be purely for my enjoyment, can it?” “I cant believe M/n and Vision are having a baby” “you want any?” Jimmy chuckles

“Heck, I thought about it for sure. A little Jimmy Woo. Get him a tiny little FBI badge. Oh, you... Chip? Sure.” “you're doing great. You're doing great. Look at me. Look at me.” “The jig is up” you scream. After a few minutes you hear the baby cry “hi, oh, he's perfect” “what a twist.” Darcy says as she's tearing up “What? I'm invested” “he was killed by Ultron, wasn't he?” “Did she just say the name Ultron? Has that ever happened before? A reference to our reality.”

“No never” “hey I'll take a shift rocking the babies” “no I think you should leave” “oh, M/n, don't be like that” “who are you?” “M/n” “wow this is different” The Tv cuts and Monica is gone “what happened? Where she go?” “god not again” Darcy replays the footage back “who are you?” “M/n” “there's nothing here. One second, Monica is standing right there, and the next she isn’t. Someone is censoring the broadcast.”

“But where's Rambeau?” they suddenly both hear the alarm “Alert! Boundary has been breached! Alert! Boundary has been breached!”

Inside Westview

“Who are you?” “I don't..” you walk closer to her “who are you?” “M/n i'm just your neighbor.” “Then how did you know about Ultron?” you start to see the familiar red glow around your hands “You're not my neighbor. And you're definitely not my friend. You are a stranger and an outsider. And right now, you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave.”

Your familiar red glow wraps around Monica Sending her back through every wall and fence. You gulp “I… I…” you raise your hands and start to fix the hole on the wall as if it never happened. You walk over to your babies hearing them “M/n?” Vision comes in through the door turning back to his synthezoid form “where is Geraldine?” “oh she left honey. She had to rush home”

You turn around to look at Vision and you gasp making you look down “what? What is it? What's wrong?” Vision asks you concerned “Uh..” you slowly look up at him and see that he looks normal again “we don't have to stay here. We could go wherever we want” Vision tells you “no, we can't. This is our home” you move your hand to crease his cheek and he holds onto your hand “are you use”

“oh, don't worry darling. I have everything under control.” you walk over and grab Tommy “oh hi” you turn to Vision smiling “what should we watch tonight?” you walk over to the sofa, Vision sits next to you. He puts an arm around you.

Outside of Westview

“Monica, are you okay?” “it's M/n. its all M/n”

#Marvel x male!reader #Marvel x male reader #WandaVision x male reader #WandaVision x male!reader #Vision x male!reader #Vision x male reader #male!reader #male reader

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loadingvilla28 · 4 years ago

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managements002 · 4 years ago

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ModuleObjectiveOperationsThe operations operate in an organisation is responsible for the design, control, and improvement of methods involved with the production and supply of goods and providers. As operations account for a good portion of the worth add and value in any enterprise, even a small benefit in operations can mean the distinction between successful and losing in a competitive market.

She also provides oversight and support of the Group’s functional committees in China and the day-to-day operations of the Group’s subsidiary in China. Ms Ho holds a Bachelor of Science in Sociology and Economic Development from the London School of Economics, and a Certificate in Accounting and Finance from the National University of Singapore.

Empowered with T-formed competencies, working professionals can remain aggressive globally and operate efficiently in different business environments. framework aims to cultivate versatile ‘T-shaped Professionals’ who possess deep expertise in a particular domain space as well as general knowledge in areas related to enterprise management or operations.

Develop a good understanding of global affairs and information in worldwide enterprise and trade. You will also get plenty of networking opportunities and publicity in emerging markets through study journeys, overseas attachments and immersion programmes. Gain knowledge and abilities to plan, organise and implement efficient CRM programmes that can assist businesses ship good service.

You will study basic business subjects and important, specialised expertise similar to digital marketing, business analytics and design thinking. The place of a basic supervisor requires management qualities and the flexibility to oversee a business and lead a team of staff.

Since being appointed to his current position in January 2019, Mr Lim has overseen the Group’s lodge openings and hotel operations in key areas worldwide. Mr Chin is the Managing Director of the Banyan Tree Group of Companies in China, in three way partnership with China Vanke.

She has 30 years of experience in the construction and real estate industry, having practised in both the private and non-private sectors. Mr Kusumadi oversees the architectural, tasks and enterprise improvement functions within the Banyan Tree Group, the place he is solely answerable for the design and technical advisory services, project development and enterprise development activities outdoors of China.

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quicksilversquared · 6 years ago

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Kill Shot

Marinette is tired of getting her school days ruined by bullies. She's tired of having to deal with them and with adults not doing anything to stop them.

So she hits back. And when she does- well, bullies beware, because this girl means business.

links in the reblog

Marinette was tired.

She was tired of missing class and events to fight akumas, and tired of making excuses to cover her absences and then having to make up the work on her own later. She was tired of comforting people after Chloe bullied them and seeing absolutely no consequences for the school's biggest bully, again and again and again. And she was really, really tired of Lila. Of hearing her lies, of seeing her classmates sucked in to the increasingly ridiculous tales, of getting blown off by Alya whenever she tried pointing out contradicting things in Lila's stories and of having to decide whether or not hanging out with her friends outside of school was really worth tolerating Lila's company for even longer than usual.

There was nothing she could really do about the akumas besides just fight them, at least not at the moment. Marinette was planning on using her spring break to buckle down and do some serious brainstorming about how she and Chat Noir could track Hawkmoth down and end the battles for good, but the break was another couple weeks out yet. That just left her Chloe and Lila problems. Two bullies, but both carrying out their bullying in very different ways and making her life very, very difficult.

Weren't adults supposed to be the ones to deal like stuff like this? Why did she have to be the one to do all of the fighting against evil? That just wasn't- it wasn't fair. Marinette was supposed to be able to be a kid right now, and dealing with supervillains and bullies was taking that away from her. More than anything, Marinette wanted to be able to fully enjoy her days together with her friends without having to be on guard and alert all the time.

Sure, maybe she could just do her best to ignore some things. But allowing evil to fester wasn't the answer, either. Not when Lila had threatened Marinette and was clearly doing her best to trip up Ladybug, and both she and Chloe were causing (or being) regular akumas.

Trying to call Lila out straight wasn't going to work, Adrien had been right about that much. It was irritating to admit, but she had her claws in too deep and was too good at turning on the fake tears when anyone challenged anything she said. Marinette had to be crafty if she wanted to outfox Volpina. And as for Chloe...

Well, she was supposed to just be able to go to an adult and report the bullying and have it dealt with by people in charge, but the adults seemed to be unwilling to actually do anything, because of the Mayor. Which meant that the root of the problem was there, somewhere, but how was she meant to deal with it? She couldn't just go up and judo-kick the Mayor as Ladybug to solve the problem. Marinette wished that it was that easy.

Marinette mulled over the problem as she sat in class, waiting for their teacher to come in and start the day's lesson. There had to be other ways to call out a liar other than sitting in class and pointing out every contradiction and inaccuracy and straight-up lie that came out of Lila's mouth. She could text Penny and have Jagged Stone make some comment during his next interview, but that would just be a small bunch of lies disproved and Lila would no doubt make up some new story about why Jagged Stone was refuting her claims. Lila had done that when Adrien pointed out that Ladybug had already called her out, and it was just going to happen again with every other lie Marinette pointed out.

(In fact, it had happened with every last one of the lies that Marinette pointed out. Lila came up with a new story, every one less believable than the last, and yet...)

She could try to get Lila cornered in a lie that someone else in class- say, Alya- would know was a lie, like something about Rena Rouge, but if Lila picked up on the fact that Marinette was trying to get her to say something specific...

Well, she would wonder why Marinette suddenly cared about her opinion, for one thing. She would wonder why that topic. And it could be dangerous, too. Lila would wonder why both Marinette and Alya (and Nino, too) would know that whatever she said about Rena Rouge would be a lie. So that was out for sure. And if she went the route of trying to convince one or two people at a time, the chance that one of them would go to Lila and ask her about something and therefore give away Marinette's plan was too high. Lila would retaliate then for sure, and Marinette really didn't need yet another thing to deal with right now.

In fact, that strategy in general sounded like a lot of work, and that was the opposite of what Marinette needed right now and the opposite of what she was going for. No, what she needed was a one-shot thing that would take Lila out solidly and for good.

And the sooner she could think of something and implement it, the better.

Marinette spent Saturday morning getting all of her homework out of the way so that she could spend her afternoon in the park, relaxing and getting some sorely-needed inspiration for a new set of designs. A summer dress was slowly taking place in her design book, and it was truly a pity that it would probably never actually be created. She just didn't have enough time, nor enough money to buy the fabric for all of her projects now that she had to cut back on the babysitting. After far too many times when she had been watching after Manon and an akuma showed up, she had had to ask Madam Chamack to keep her as an emergency babysitter only instead of Manon's regular sitter.

It was just one more way that she was getting stretched too thin.

It was relaxing to sit in the park and just be able to glance around and enjoy the calm, Marinette reflected as she added one last line to her drawing before sitting back. She hadn't gotten to do that frequently enough recently, too caught up in needing to keep on top of her schoolwork and then making presents for her friends and getting tangled up in schemes to ask Adrien out (and that...yeah, those were exhausting, too. She was going to tell the girls that she needed a break from that, too, just for a bit), and she hadn't realized before how much she missed it. The background noises of kids running around and cars driving past and the muted conversation from pedestrians was calming-

"Jean-Paul just kicked me!"

...the sound of arguing children was less so.

Marinette sighed and opened her eyes in time to see another small child scowling at the first. "Tattle-tale! You always go running to my mommy!"

"Maybe so, but we don't kick others," Jean-Paul's mom scolded. "And you'll be getting in trouble for that. If you can't play nice with others in the park, we're going home."

"But mommy-!"

Marinette watched as the crying child was hauled out of the park. The kicked child went running back to the group of kids playing with a ball nearby, a smile on his face as he did. He could play without fear of being pushed around now, and it showed.

And just like that, an idea hit Marinette like lightning.

That was it! She could tattle to Mrs. Rossi. Lila's mom would know the truth of who Lila had and hadn't met, and of course she would know where Lila had actually been during those months and months of when Lila had claimed that they were out of the country (and, as anyone with eyes could see, had Skyped them from in front of streets strangely devoid of pedestrians aka posters). She was probably oblivious to her daughter's actions, and honestly, it was time for that to come to an end.

(And now that Marinette thought about it, wasn't it likely that Mrs. Rossi was getting manipulated by Lila too? How else could Lila get away with skipping school for months?)

The main problem, Marinette decided, was that she didn't know Lila's mom. She couldn't just go to the embassy and expect to be let in and led straight to Mrs. Rossi. Besides, she didn't exactly want Lila to find out who had let her mom know about her lies, not with Hawkmoth still active and Lila getting akumatized every time she was even mildly inconvenienced. But maybe she could do some research online and figure out exactly where she needed to go before acting.

Newly re-energized, Marinette packed up and headed home, making a beeline to her room. As she settled down, her phone buzzed with a message from Alya, asking if she was positive that she couldn't make it to the class outing that afternoon. Adrien was going to be able to make it for once, and maybe she could ask him out then!

Marinette sighed and rolled her eyes. Yes, she was positive. Lila was going to be there, and if Adrien was there, too, Lila was going to be hanging all over him and Marinette wouldn't get a chance to even get close. And even if she got a couple minutes with him, she didn't want to risk stuttering her way through a conversation with him with Lila hovering nearby, ready to take advantage of any weakness that Marinette showed.

Besides, she had research to do.

By the time dinner rolled around, Marinette had made some good progress. While poking through the government webpages to find the embassy, she had found some other interesting pages, ones that she bookmarked to come back to later. She had also found Lila's mom's page and another page that confirmed that Mrs. Rossi had never left the country when Lila had said they would.

If she had thought to look for something like that before, Marinette might have just brought that to Ms. Bustier's attention and let things fall apart from there. But now that she had come up with the idea of emailing Lila's mom directly, she was going to follow through with it. That was guaranteed to have pretty swift and complete results, whereas just telling Ms. Bustier might not have as much of an effect.

(That was still being kept as a backup plan, though. Marinette added it to her dossier of bookmarks.)

"Are you emailing tonight, Marinette?"

Marinette shook her head as she headed for her trapdoor. "No, I'm not. The timing has to be right, and I've decided that I need to make sure that I have evidence to send to back up at least some of the things that I'm saying. Some recordings, maybe, or- or something."

She was going to take Lila down in a single go, and she was going to do it right.

Marinette's Week of Evidence-collecting started out strong. Lila was still coming up with at least one or two lies per day- well, or at least referencing old lies, Marinette didn't think that all of them were new but she was hardly wasting the energy on listening to and remembering everything that Lila said- and with Tikki's help, Marinette was getting recordings of almost all of them. While the audio was a bit muffled at times (Marinette edited it later, so that it was easier to hear), it was clearly Lila's voice.

Besides, her classmates kept saying 'tell us more, Lila!' or 'that's so cool, Lila!', so if there was any question with whose voice it was, that should lay those questions to rest.

On top of that, Marinette had noticed that Lila spent a lot of time hanging off of Adrien, clinging to him and even going so far as to press kisses to his cheek while he was trying to squirm away. She needed to get punished for that, too, so Marinette managed to take a couple videos on her phone of Lila thoroughly invading Adrien's space and him looking deeply uncomfortable to send to Lila's mom.

Mid-week, Marinette saw something that made her very, very glad that she was taking action.

Lila had asked to go to the bathroom midway through class, and then Marinette got sent to the principal's office on an errand. On the way back from the office, with a stack of permission notes in her hand, Marinette spotted two things down on the first floor.

One was an akuma, fluttering towards a classroom. The other was Lila, headed for the akuma, chasing after it with her eyes fixed on the purple butterfly.

Marinette's phone was in her hand and recording before she even fully registered it. And there, in full color, she saw Lila catch up to the akuma and catch it in her necklace, accepting Hawkmoth's power faster than anyone else Marinette had ever seen. In a burst of black bubbles, she transformed.

And that was quite enough video. Marinette ended the recording and saved it, then made a sprint for the nearest closet to transform before Lila's latest akuma form could get too far.

(The fight still made it to the street, but at least Volpina couldn't get into her normal habit of hiding and forcing the superheroes to search for her for hours on end.)

Thursday, Marinette collected her final bit of evidence. She wanted Lila to get in trouble for her threats, too, which meant that she had to record them. That meant provoking Lila into cornering her in the bathroom, which... well, that wasn't hard, either. All it took was subtly calling out a lie in class and Lila's hackles were raised.

And just like clockwork, it happened.

"You will regret trying to get people to stop believing me," Lila snarled that afternoon. Marinette had deliberately hung around in the library for a bit, letting people filter out of school before heading for the girls' bathrooms. "They're all twisted around my fingers, you can't snap them out of it. Just watch, soon all of your friends will ditch you to come join me."

"I'm just trying to keep them from getting hurt," Marinette shot back. "You're just using them and making them do your work for you. When they find out-"

"They'll never find out, not unless I've long since moved on and it doesn't matter anymore." Lila's smirk was absolutely infuriating, but Marinette was going to ignore it. "And all of the adults believe me, too. Who's going to tell poor busy Lila that she's not doing enough work on her group project when she's so busy helping Prince Ali come up with fundraiser ideas to raise money to help disabled kids in rural Africa?"

Marinette's gaze darkened. "You're deplorable. I'm never going to let your lies go uncontested."

Lila tossed her hair. "Blah, blah, blah. You're all talk. But if the thought of losing all of your friends isn't enough- if you don't stop trying to interfere, maybe the news stations would be interested in hearing all about the mouse droppings I found in a Dupain-Cheng Bakery pastry."

...oh, Marinette was so glad that she was recording right now. A threat to fake a health and safety issue like that was serious.

"Don't you dare try to bring my parents' business into this," Marinette said at once, just out of reflex. Lila smirked, heading for the bathroom door.

"What are you going to do to stop me, exactly? Just keep your mouth shut and we won't have any problems."

With that, she left. Marinette was practically shaking with rage. After a second, though, she took a deep breath, then another.

Lila might fancy herself some sort of grand manipulator, but right now she was dancing to Marinette's tune.

Friday noon, Marinette had her emails ready to go. One was sent to a certain embassy member, detailing all of Lila's claims and everything else that she had done and finishing with links for the school website as well as her teacher and the principal's emails and phone numbers. Several minutes after that, another email went out, this time to both a French government ethics committee and the Paris school board and reporting the Mayor of Paris for abusing his power and the principal of François-Dupont for failing to stand up to the mayor and failing to protect the rest of his students from a bully for years.

"Two birds, one stone," Marinette said contentedly as she pushed herself away from the computer, closing the window once she had confirmed that everything had sent. "I've just reported the facts, and now the chips can fall where they may. I don't have to deal with it anymore and I won't burn myself out dealing with bullies."

Tikki beamed. "That's so smart, Marinette! But..." She frowned, confused. "You didn't link that video of Lila going after the akuma!"

"No, I didn't," Marinette said cheerfully, pushing herself out of her chair and heading for the door. If she didn't hurry, she was going to be late for afternoon classes, and her attendance record really didn't need that. "I have other plans for that video. You'll see."

By the time Marinette got to school on Monday, everything had changed. Chloe was sitting quietly in her seat for once, all of the wind taken out of her sails after an investigation had been launched over the weekend against the mayor for abuse of power. Mayor Bourgeois had gone silent on his Twitter and refused to make an official statement. Primary investigations that had happened over the weekend- investigations that had started seriously quickly- had already turned up several witnesses who had been threatened or bribed into doing things for the mayor and his daughter, so his political career was looking less than promising going forward.

On top of that, the rumor in the hallways- courtesy of a student who had a parent on the school board- was that the principal and all of the teachers were being required to take a course on dealing with bullies. Everyone knew which bully they referring to, too, but why the school board was suddenly taking action was still a question.

(Marinette knew that already, thanks to the response that she had gotten to her email. She also happened to know that Board of Education representatives would be stopping in unannounced and on a fairly regular basis to observe the teachers and interview random students about how the teachers were dealing with bullies and other issues, so that they couldn't get away with making victims of bullying be the 'bigger person' instead of actually dealing with the bully again.)

And then Lila's mom marched her into homeroom, an irritated look on her face. Lila, who was trailing along behind her, looked a bit trapped.

In her seat, Marinette tapped a couple buttons on her tablet before turning her attention fully to the front. Ms. Bustier got up to talk to Mrs. Rossi at once, the two of them exchanging quiet words while the rest of the class looked on in confusion. Adrien came in, took one look at the scene in front, and then sent a puzzled look in Marinette's direction.

Marinette was quite enjoying the whole situation right now, to be honest. Even if Lila wasn't looking as thoroughly crushed as she had hoped, she was sure that Lila was seething inside.

"Class, Lila has a few things that she wants to share with the class this morning," Ms. Bustier said once the bell had rung. "Lila?"

Lila shuffled her feet, glancing at the floor. A sad look slid onto her face, and Marinette resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Clearly Lila was going to try to get enough sympathy from people to slither her way out of this situation, too.

It wasn't going to happen.

"I was really nervous about being the new girl in class when I arrived here in the middle of the school year," Lila started, glancing out from under her lashes. "And with so many people here having had such cool experiences and connections! So I... might have made some things up to try to fit in. I'm sorry for misleading people, I just- I wanted people to like me."

Marinette rolled her eyes as exclamations of "we would have liked you anyway, Lila!" and "That's okay, Lila!" rang out all over the room. How were all of her classmates so hooked by Lila? Was no one going to actually be upset about being misled and hoodwinked?

"And by some things, Lila means pretty much everything that she told you," Mrs. Rossi corrected, and Lila turned a devastated look to her. Apparently she hadn't expected her mom to chime in again. "She has not only not met a lot of celebrities- or any, really- or hung out with them or saved their cats or had songs written about her, but she does not have any illnesses, and we've only left the country for a weekend at a time since we arrived here, not for months, and we only went back to visit family in Italy. She has not been involved in any sort of charity work. And it was very wrong of her to claim that she was, particularly when she was using that as an excuse to get out of doing her schoolwork."

"I just wanted to fit in," Lila sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "And I was hoping that maybe I could do some of those things eventually, maybe, or-"

"Additionally, Lila owes an apology to Adrien for hanging all over him and forcing kisses on him when he clearly was not comfortable," Mrs. Rossi continued, and in front of Marinette, Adrien startled. "And for telling people that he was her boyfriend when that clearly was not the case."

Lila visibly wilted. It looked a little practiced. "I'm sorry, I'm bad with boundaries, I- I-"

"I- right," Adrien managed, glancing at Nino a little helplessly. Marinette had a moment to wonder if anyone had ever apologized for invading his space before- she was guessing no, and that was actually pretty sad- before Lila's mom spoke up again.

"Lila also will be apologizing to Marinette for threatening both her and her parents' business when she tried to call out the lies," Mrs. Rossi added, giving her daughter a nudge as the rest of the class gasped. Lila looked like she was being asked to swallow nails now, and judging by the surprise that had initially flashed across her face, her mom hadn't mentioned that bit of the email to Lila before.

Which meant that she hadn't had a response prepared, not that she could wriggle out of that revelation.

"Sorry," Lila spat out after a second. "What I did was wrong and I shouldn't have done it."

"And Marinette, do you accept Lila's apology?" Ms. Bustier asked cheerily, ignoring the now-stewing student next to her. Marinette straightened and glanced at Lila, then turned her attention back to Ms. Bustier.

"No, I don't accept her apology," Marinette said clearly, and she could hear the gasps at that, too. People had apparently thought that she would be kind and forgiving as always, but that wasn't going to happen this time. She wasn't going to back down. "Because clearly Lila isn't actually sorry for threatening me. She's just sorry that she got caught."

Ms. Bustier looked a little uncertain about how she was meant to proceed after that. Clearly she had expected that Marinette would accept the apology graciously and perhaps offer to show Lila how to properly behave or something of the sort.

And that was not happening. Marinette was not obligated to forgive her bullies. The teachers would learn that during their 'how to deal with bullies' course, and if they didn't? Well, the School Board would find out and require more training until the message got through.

"Well, we wanted to make sure that all of Lila's old classmates knew the truth," Mrs. Rossi said after a moment. "Lila will be switching schools, effective today, and her new teachers will be given a heads-up so that this doesn't happen again. Lila, say good-bye. We're leaving now."

Lila waved after a moment's pause, and as she and her mom turned to leave, she sent one final poisonous glare at Marinette. It promised retribution, but Marinette didn't falter at all. In fact, as she glanced down at her tablet and saw the response to the email that she had sent right before class, she smiled.

Lila might think that this was all of the punishment that she was going to get, but she couldn't be more wrong. After all, the police were apparently been very interested in the recording and videos that she had just sent them. Allegations that someone was working with Hawkmoth were taken very seriously, and the video of Lila grabbing an akuma that wasn't even going for her so that she could transform and the interview that Marinette had gotten with Chat Noir over the weekend where he had stated that Lila had faked injury to distract him and give an akuma easier access to Ladybug while not under the influence of any akuma were pretty damning evidence. And as for the diplomatic immunity that Lila got thanks to her mom…well, Marinette was pretty sure that if Ladybug made a quick visit to the embassy with the evidence over lunch today, the protection would get waived pretty fast. Collaborating with terrorists was not something that they would let slide.

If Lila had thought that she was in trouble before, it was nothing compared to what she was going to be facing now.

Content, Marinette turned back to her notebook. Two of her long-term problems had been solved over a single weekend with a couple well-placed emails, and it was such a weight off of her shoulders. On top of that, the video that she had taken of Lila accepting the akuma had reminded Marinette that while kwamis could not be caught on camera, the same could not be said for Hawkmoth's corrupted butterflies. And that had given her an idea to track down Hawkmoth and end the akuma battles for good.

Next weekend, the superheroes would be making a trip to the police station to meet with the chief and set up a secret array of cameras across the rooftops of Paris to hone in on where the corrupted butterflies were coming from. By the time summer rolled around, she and Chat Noir should know where Hawkmoth's lair was and be able to attack him, ending the fight for once and for all on their terms.

For the first time in what felt like a very long time, Marinette was feeling fully optimistic once more.

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #marinette dupain cheng #our favorite girl kicks butt and takes names #if tumblr's gonna take away my page breaks I'll just get new ones

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bountyofbeads · 5 years ago

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Read Marie Yovanovitch’s Prepared Opening Statement From the Impeachment Hearing https://nyti.ms/37bF4xF

Read Marie Yovanovitch’s Prepared Opening Statement From the Impeachment Hearing

The former American ambassador to Ukraine appeared in front of the House Intelligence Committee during the second day of public impeachment hearings.

Published Nov. 15, 2019, 12:23 PM ET | New York Times | Posted Nov. 15, 2019

Marie L. Yovanovitch, the former American ambassador to Ukraine, appeared in front of the House Intelligence Committee on Friday during the second day of public hearings in the impeachment inquiry.

Ms. Yovanovitch, who was recalled from her post in May, said that there was a “concerted campaign against” her.

The following is Ms. Yovanovitch’s opening statement, as prepared for delivery and released by the House Intelligence Committee on Friday.

_____________

Mr. Chairman, Ranking Member Nunes, and other Members of the Committee: Thank you for the opportunity to start with this statement, to reintroduce myself to the Committee and to highlight parts of my biography and experience.

My Background

I come before you as an American citizen, who has devoted the majority of my life, 33 years, to service to the country that all of us love. Like my colleagues, I entered the Foreign Service understanding that my job was to implement the foreign policy interests of this nation, as defined by the President and Congress, and to do so regardless of which person or party was in power. I had no agenda other than to pursue our stated foreign policy goals.

My service is an expression of gratitude for all that this country has given my family and me. My late parents did not have the good fortune to come of age in a free society. My father fled the Soviets before ultimately finding refuge in the United States. My mother’s family escaped the USSR after the Bolshevik revolution, and she grew up stateless in Nazi Germany, before eventually making her way to the United States. Their personal histories—my personal history—gave me both deep gratitude towards the United States and great empathy for others—like the Ukrainian people—who want to be free.

I joined the Foreign Service during the Reagan Administration and subsequently served three other Republican Presidents, as well as two Democratic Presidents. It was my great honor to be appointed to serve as an ambassador three times— twice by President George W. Bush and once by President Barack Obama.

There is a perception that diplomats lead a comfortable life throwing dinner parties in fancy homes. Let me tell you about some of my reality. It has not always been easy. I have moved 13 times and served in seven different countries, five of them hardship posts.

My first tour was Mogadishu, Somalia, an increasingly dangerous place, as that country’s civil war kept grinding on and the government was weakening. The military took over policing functions in a particularly brutal way and many basic services disappeared.

Several years later, after the Soviet Union collapsed, I helped open our Embassy in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. As we were establishing relations with a new country, our small Embassy was attacked by a gunman, who sprayed the Embassy building with gunfire.

I later served in Moscow. In 1993, during the attempted coup in Russia, I was caught in crossfire between presidential and parliamentary forces. It took us three tries—me without a helmet or body armor—to get into a vehicle to go to the Embassy. We went to the Embassy, because the Ambassador asked us to come. We went, because it was our duty.

My Service in Ukraine

From August 2016 until May 2019, I served as the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine. During my tenure in Ukraine, I went to the Front Line approximately ten times during a shooting war: to show the American flag, to hear what was going on (sometimes literally as we heard the impact of artillery), and to see how our assistance dollars were being put to use.

I worked to advance U.S. policy—fully embraced by Democrats and Republicans alike—to help Ukraine become a stable and independent democratic state, with a market economy integrated into Europe. A secure, democratic, and free Ukraine serves not just the Ukrainian people, but the American people as well. That’s why it was our policy to help the Ukrainians achieve their objectives—they matched our objectives.

The War Against Russia

The U.S. is the most powerful country in the history of the world, in large part because of our values. And our values have made possible the network of alliances and partnerships that buttresses our own strength. Ukraine, with an enormous landmass and a large population, has the potential to be a significant commercial and political partner for the U.S., as well as a force-multiplier on the security side.

We see the potential in Ukraine. Russia, by contrast, sees the risk. The history is not written yet, but Ukraine could move out of Russia’s orbit. And now Ukraine is a battleground for great power competition, with a hot war for the control of territory and a hybrid war to control Ukraine’s leadership. The U.S. has provided significant security assistance since the onset of the war against Russia in 2014. And as is well-known, the Trump administration strengthened our policy by approving the provision to Ukraine of anti-tank missiles known as Javelins.

Supporting Ukraine is the right thing to do. It is also the smart thing to do. If Russia prevails and Ukraine falls to Russian dominion, we can expect to see other attempts by Russia to expand its territory and influence.

The War Against Corruption

As critical as the war against Russia is, Ukraine’s struggling democracy has an equally important challenge: Battling the Soviet legacy of corruption, which has pervaded Ukraine’s government. Corruption makes Ukraine’s leaders ever vulnerable to Russia, and the Ukrainian people understand that. That’s why they launched the Revolution of Dignity in 2014 demanding to be a part of Europe, demanding the transformation of the system, demanding to live under the rule of law. Ukrainians wanted the law to apply equally to all persons, whether the individual in question is the president or any other citizen. It was a question of fairness, of dignity.

Here, again, there is a coincidence of interests. Corrupt leaders are inherently less trustworthy, while an honest and accountable Ukrainian leadership makes a U.S.-Ukrainian partnership more reliable and more valuable to the United States. A level playing field in this strategically-located country bordering four NATO allies, creates an environment in which U.S. business can more easily trade, invest, and profit. Corruption is also a security issue, because corrupt officials are vulnerable to Moscow. In short, it is in America’s national security interest to help Ukraine transform into a country where the rule of law governs and corruption is held in check. It was— and remains—a top U.S. priority to help Ukraine fight corruption. Significant progress has been made since the 2014 Revolution of Dignity.

Unfortunately, as the past couple of months have underlined, not all Ukrainians embraced our anti-corruption work. Thus, perhaps, it was not surprising, that when our anti-corruption efforts got in the way of a desire for profit or power, Ukrainians who preferred to play by the old, corrupt rules sought to remove me. What continues to amaze me is that they found Americans willing to partner with them and, working together, they apparently succeeded in orchestrating the removal of a U.S. Ambassador.

How could our system fail like this? How is it that foreign corrupt interests could manipulate our government?

Which country’s interests are served when the very corrupt behavior we have been criticizing is allowed to prevail? Such conduct undermines the U.S., exposes our friends, and widens the playing field for autocrats like President Putin. Our leadership depends on the power of our example and the consistency of our purpose. Both have now been opened to question.

Addressing Specific Concerns

With that background in mind, I would like briefly to address some of the factual issues I expect you may want to ask me about, starting with my timeline in Ukraine and the events about which I do and do not have first-hand knowledge.

Events Before and After I Served in Ukraine

I arrived in Ukraine on August 22, 2016 and left Ukraine permanently on May 20, 2019. There are a number of events you are investigating to which I cannot bring any first-hand knowledge. The events that pre-dated my Ukraine service include:

• the release of the so-called “Black Ledger” and Mr. Manafort’s subsequent resignation from President Trump’s campaign; and

• the departure from office of former Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin.

Several other events occurred after I returned from Ukraine. These include:

• President Trump’s July 25, 2019 call with President Zelensky;

• The discussions surrounding that phone call; and

• Any discussions surrounding the delay of security assistance to Ukraine in Summer 2019.

During my Tenure in Ukraine

As for events during my tenure in Ukraine:

• I want to reiterate first that the allegation that I disseminated a “Do Not Prosecute” list was a fabrication. Mr. Lutsenko, the former Ukrainian Prosecutor General who made that allegation, has acknowledged that the list never existed.

• I did not tell Mr. Lutsenko or other Ukrainian officials who they should or should not prosecute. Instead, I advocated the U.S. position that rule of law should prevail and Ukrainian law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges should stop wielding their power selectively, as a political weapon against their adversaries, and start dealing with all consistently and according to the law.

• Also untrue are unsourced allegations that I told unidentified Embassy employees or Ukrainian officials that President Trump’s orders should be ignored because “he was going to be impeached”—or for any other reason. I did not and would not say such a thing. Such statements would be inconsistent with my training as a Foreign Service Officer and my role as an Ambassador.

• The Obama administration did not ask me to help the Clinton campaign or harm the Trump campaign, nor would I have taken any such steps if they had. Partisanship of this type is not compatible with the role of a career Foreign Service Officer.

• I have never met Hunter Biden, nor have I had any direct or indirect conversations with him. And although I have met former Vice President Biden several times over the course of our many years in government, neither he nor the previous Administration ever raised the issue of either Burisma or Hunter Biden with me.

• With respect to Mayor Giuliani, I have had only minimal contacts with him—a total of three. None related to the events at issue. I do not understand Mr. Giuliani’s motives for attacking me, nor can I offer an opinion on whether he believed the allegations he spread about me. Clearly, no one at the State Department did. What I can say is that Mr. Giuliani should have known those claims were suspect, coming as they reportedly did from individuals with questionable motives and with reason to believe that their political and financial ambitions would be stymied by our anti-corruption policy in Ukraine.

My Departure from Ukraine

After being asked by the Under Secretary of State for Political Affairs in early March 2019 to extend my tour until 2020, the smear campaign against me entered a new public phase in the United States. In the wake of the negative press, State Department officials suggested an earlier departure, and we agreed upon July 2019. I was then abruptly told just weeks later, in late April, to come back to Washington from Ukraine “on the next plane.” At the time I departed, Ukraine had just concluded game-changing presidential elections. It was a sensitive period with much at stake for the U.S. and called for all the experience and expertise we could muster.

When I returned to the United States, Deputy Secretary of State Sullivan told me there had been a concerted campaign against me, that the President no longer wished me to serve as Ambassador to Ukraine, and that in fact, the President had been pushing for my removal since the prior summer. As Mr. Sullivan recently recounted during his Senate confirmation hearing, neither he nor anyone else ever explained or sought to justify the President’s concerns about me, nor did anyone in the Department justify my early departure by suggesting I had done something wrong. I appreciate that Mr. Sullivan publicly affirmed at his hearing that I had served “capably and admirably.”

Although, then and now, I have always understood that I served at the pleasure of the President, I still find it difficult to comprehend that foreign and private interests were able to undermine U.S. interests in this way. Individuals, who apparently felt stymied by our efforts to promote stated U.S. policy against corruption—that is, to do the mission—were able to successfully conduct a campaign of disinformation against a sitting Ambassador, using unofficial back channels. As various witnesses have recounted, they shared baseless allegations with the President and convinced him to remove his Ambassador, despite the fact that the State Department fully understood that the allegations were false and the sources highly suspect.

These events should concern everyone in this room. Ambassadors are the symbol of the United States abroad, the personal representatives of the President. They should always act and speak with full authority to advocate for U.S. policies. If our chief representative is kneecapped, it limits our effectiveness to safeguard the vital national security interests of the United States. This is especially important now, when the international landscape is more complicated and more competitive than it has been since the dissolution of the Soviet Union.

Our Ukraine policy has been thrown into disarray, and shady interests the world over have learned how little it takes to remove an American Ambassador who does not give them what they want. After these events, what foreign official, corrupt or not, could be blamed for wondering whether the Ambassador represents the President’s views? And what U.S. Ambassador could be blamed for harboring the fear that they cannot count on our government to support them as they implement stated U.S. policy and defend U.S. interests?

*******

I would like to comment on one other matter before taking your questions. At the closed deposition, I expressed grave concerns about the degradation of the Foreign Service over the past few years and the failure of State Department leadership to push back as foreign and corrupt interests apparently hijacked our Ukraine policy. I remain disappointed that the Department’s leadership and others have declined to acknowledge that the attacks against me and others are dangerously wrong.

This is about far more than me or a couple of individuals. As Foreign Service professionals are being denigrated and undermined, the institution is also being degraded. This will soon cause real harm, if it hasn’t already. The State Department as a tool of foreign policy often doesn’t get the same attention and respect as the military might of the Pentagon does, but we are— as they say—“the pointy end of the spear.” If we lose our edge, the U.S. will inevitably have to use other tools, even more often than it does today. And those other tools are blunter, more expensive, and not universally effective.

Moreover, the attacks are leading to a crisis in the State Department as the policy process is visibly unravelling, leadership vacancies go unfilled, and senior and midlevel officers ponder an uncertain future and head for the doors. The crisis has moved from the impact on individuals to an impact on the institution. The State Department is being hollowed out from within at a competitive and complex time on the world stage. This is not a time to undercut our diplomats.

It is the responsibility of the Department’s leaders to stand up for the institution and the individuals who make that institution the most effective diplomatic force in the world. And Congress has a responsibility to reinvest in our diplomacy. That’s an investment in our national security, an investment in our future.

As I close, let me be clear on who we are and how we serve this country. We are professionals, public servants who by vocation and training pursue the policies of the President, regardless of who holds that office or what party they affiliate with. We handle American Citizen Services, facilitate trade and commerce, work security issues, represent the U.S., and report to and advise Washington, to mention just a few of our functions.

And we make a difference every day.

We are people who repeatedly uproot our lives, who risk— and sometimes give—our lives for this country.

We are the fifty-two Americans who forty years ago this month began 444 days of deprivation, torture and captivity in Teheran.

We are the dozens of Americans stationed at our embassy in Cuba and consulates in China, who mysteriously and dangerously—and in some cases perhaps permanently—were injured in attacks from unknown sources several years ago.

And we are Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Patrick Smith, Ty Woods, and Glen Doherty—people rightly called heroes for their ultimate sacrifice to this nation’s foreign policy interests in Libya, eight years ago.

We honor these individuals. They represent each one of you here—and every American. These courageous individuals were attacked because they symbolized America.

What you need to know, what the American people need to know, is that while, thankfully, most of us answer the call to duty in less dramatic ways, every Foreign Service Officer runs these same risks. And, very often, so do our families. They serve too. As individuals, as a community, we answer the call to duty to advance and protect the interests of the United States.

We take our oath of office seriously, the same oath that each one of you take, “to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic” and to “bear true faith and allegiance to the same.”

I count myself lucky to be a Foreign Service Officer, fortunate to serve with the best America has to offer, blessed to serve the American people for the last 33 years.

Thank you for your attention. I welcome your questions.

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youremypride · 7 years ago

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The Truth About Love | Ch.4

☽ Have you ever love someone so much, you would do anything for them? Even disturbing the peace between the living and the afterlife? Love knows no boundaries but there is always a price to be paid. How much do you say? As much as your heart desires for your true love.

Pairing: AHS! Michael Langdon x Reader

Genre: romance, angst, violence

Warnings: foul language, death of a character(s)

Note: This week’s episode is honestly the best because I really got tired of the whole apocalypse thing going on and needed more backstory. Let’s just say episode 4 was really the starting of this season’s episode. I can’t wait for next week. I just wish the whole season just drops in one go like Netflix does.

Word Count: 3566 words

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My turn finally came for the interview with Langdon. I didn’t know what to expect but I didn’t expect a lot from it either. My fate was already sealed from the very moment I was born. With heavy steps, my feet came to a halt in front of the large timbered black doors. Using my knuckles, I knocked against the door as I wait for someone to answer it.

Soon enough, the doors parted from each other, revealing the man in the room. “Y/N. You’re here. I’ve been expecting you.”

He steps aside, giving me enough space to enter the office. The entire room was a catastrophe, the furniture was thrown in every direction, the candles had fallen from the holders. It was like a hurricane had hit and cleared anything in its path.

“I apologize for the mess,” He brings up the armchair back to its normal position before gesturing to sit. “Please, take a seat.” Whatever thing that happened before, clearly didn’t bother him too much considering how calm his voice was although he looked lowkey frantic.

“I take it something happened before I got here?” He only smiles before setting up the other armchair, taking a seat right next to me. “What makes you think that?”

“I saw Mallory leaving the room with an expression I’ve never seen before. Distress was etched on her face and it was like she was running away from something that terrified her.” Mallory was nice, when she wasn’t around Coco, acting like a lovesick dog following around her and obeying her orders. It’s a pity, it would’ve been nice to get along with her.

Langdon squints his eyes as he tilts his head to one side, “Terrified her, you say? Are you suggesting I did that to her?”

“I didn’t say it was you,” I admitted. “There’s something strange about her, and the others too.” I fluttered my eyes towards him, “You think so too, right?” I sent him a knowing look. No one understands what I know, except him. I could feel it in my bones.

“Curious aren’t you, little one? Haven’t you heard curiosity killed the cat?” Soft chuckles escaped from my lips, surprising him.

“You’ve mistaken curiosity for seeking, Mr. Langdon. Being curious will lead you nowhere. But if you seek, it will lead you somewhere. The one who seeks will gain something in return, be it good………or evil.”

He stands up to walk towards his desk, leaning his bottom on the edge of it, with arms crossed. “And what is it you wish to seek? Answers, purpose, knowledge…...love?”

“Acceptance.” I put it simply. He starts to frown. I guess my answer to his question was too vague for him to understand. “Acceptance? Is it from someone or something? The world perhaps. I’ve known quite a few people with cases like you. They don’t feel like they belong anywhere.”

“No, that’s not it. I’m seeking to find acceptance…...from myself. I know it’s complicated for you to understand. You would think it’s because I hate myself or that I’ve never showed love towards myself but it’s neither of them. From the time I was born, I always felt like something was pulling me back and that I was born too fast that my soul was incomplete.

I’ve been searching for that part of me that needed to be filled my whole life. One time I went to see a doctor to check if I had heart problems because chest pains kept arising. They told me they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. It got worse over the years. I just wanted it to stop hurting so much.

Until one day, I tried to kill myself. I told myself if I stab my heart with a knife, all the pain would go away.” My eyes were closed the entire time, trying to remember every detail of that moment. I felt cool air hit against my lips, and when I fluttered my eyes open, I saw blue eyes staring right back at me. I didn’t realise how badly I was shaking until I saw his hands resting on both sides of my arms. I wanted to just flicked away his hand, but somehow, I enjoyed the comfort he was giving me.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to continue,” I gripped his upper arm and shook my head, cutting him off, “I’m fine, I’ll continue.”

“It was like something dark came over me, feeding me with negative thoughts and lies about the good. When I turned 13, the heart pain subdued slowly. It still hurt but not like before. I started getting dreams. The dreams had the same people but at different times and places.” I explained to him.

“These dreams, these people you see. Could you describe them for me?” He asked.

“There were two of them. A man and a woman. I guess they were lovers. At first, all the dreams were happy and full of love. There were times where I felt like I was prying in on their intimate moments, moments I shouldn’t be looking at. Their smiles to each other was of love and longing, their embrace was warm and endearing. The kiss…...was filled with passion……...and lust. The love was real and it felt so genuine. The dream would end with them proclaiming their love for each other. And that’s when I wake up.” I left out the parts where they made love. It was too awkward for me to talk about it, seeing as there was a man in my presence.

“You said ‘at first’. What happened next?” He chimes. I went back to sit on the armchair, probably tired from bending his knees in front of me.

“They started turning into nightmares. Except it kept replaying the same one over and over again. They took away their lives by burning each other together. I had to suffer watching their bodies get burnt and slowly turn into corpses. The nightmares stopped after I kept myself busy with part-time jobs. Everything was fine until, you know what happened.” He didn’t seem convince about my last statement. He grabbed a file, presuming it was mine, flipping over pages until he stops on the one he was finding.

“All of what you’ve said has been completely true. You’ve had a total of six foster parents. You ran away from home and took shelter under the care of a 62 year old man name Daemon Jacobs, who runs a fortune telling and witchcraft bookstore on the corner of 16 Walnut St. You never went to school. You work for him at the bookstore in the morning till afternoon and you start your night shift at the diner place down a few blocks from the bookstore.

Also, you failed to mention that you’re not exactly who you say you are……your date of birth and your age doesn’t add up.” He slams the file close. “Does the others know how old you truly are?”

“I was 16 right before the missiles attacked Los Angeles 18 months ago. My birth certificate clearly state I was born on ‘3 March 2003’. I glared at him.

“Don’t lie, Y/N. I can tell that you’re lying. Just be honest. It’s only you and me here.” He grins at me. He’s right. It’s useless to hide it from him when he has all the information he needs about me.

“I was born on ‘6 June 2016’.” I admitted, only to have him smile at me as he turns around with his back facing me.

“Odd. You would be only 5 years old now after 18 months.” He paused, “You’re wondering why you aged way too fast than the others, am I right? I might have the answer to your question.”

I stood up and walked over to him. “And how do you know about this?”

He brings his fingers towards me, cupping my chin in between his thumb and index finger. “Because, we might have something in common, my flower.”

My flower? I could have sworn I panicked a bit after hearing it out loud from someone other than my dreams. I brushed it away and focused on the man in front of me. He thinks he knows everything about me just because my whole life was in that file. Clearly, he was messing with the wrong person.

“What makes you think we have something in common? Sure, you know everything about me with that information of yours, you know everything about me on the outside, but not on the inside. Information and facts can be altered and fabricated with lies by anyone…… but if you want the truth…….all you have to do is ask, isn’t that right……Michael?” I smirk at him. His confident smile turned to a frown, his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

“I’ve been truthful to you all this time……but not you. I know the whole reason you did all of this wasn’t because of your goal of just building a new world. You needed to prove a point to the others that you are powerful than them. It is your destiny, to put it simply.

But, there’s something stopping you. I know you, Michael. Only I know that you have a weakness, and this ‘apocalypse’ you put everyone through will you be able to find it.” He doesn’t want to admit it. His facade is way too strong to break down. This isn’t the Michael he was fond very talking about or maybe all he need is a little push.

“And what is……my weakness?” He growls deeply. Judging from his voice, he’s beginning to see me as a threat. Oh honey, I’m not the one you should be threatened by, yet.

“Her.”

Ms. Venable had called everyone for an emergency meeting. The aura in the library was solemn and the smell of death was lingering in the air. She had announced something about having a party after the hardships we went through over the past few months, and apologizing for her harsh punishments she had implemented in The Outpost. She said that a celebration is in need, camaraderie, and that it was a gesture of goodwill. A Halloween soiree.

As if that would lighten up my mood. I’ve never been a big fan or parties. Why now? Is it because she had a change of heart after her time with Langdon or she’s planning something without everyone knowing? It has to be the latter. She’s never really subtle about it, and she’s always keeping secrets for her own benefit. You’re going to need a lot of persuading if you want me to attend it.

The rest had already rushed back to their rooms to get ready their costumes for the party. Wasting my time was part of my daily routine as I settled on to a new book, grabbing it off from the bookcase as I returned back to my room.

Along the way, I had stumbled into something hard. I didn’t look at where I was going because the book was way too interesting than looking up. Standing in front of me was none other than the devil himself.

I lowered my head, apologising before walking pass him.

“Don’t go.” He spoke, causing me to stop in my tracks. “The party, don’t attend it.”

“Why not?” I asked him casually. I turned around to face him, and so did he. “I believe we didn’t get to complete your interview before we were interrupted by dinner time. I wish to continue it.”

“Ms. Venable will be suspicious of me if I don’t attend it. She’ll know if one of us isn’t there.” I told him.

“Then leave the party when you think it is safe without anyone knowing. Meet me in my room. They won’t find you there.” He suggested, and vanishes off the corner of the hallway.

Everyone was swaying to the music, dancing with excitement and having a great time. A pleasant feeling bloomed inside of me but it faded away when I gazed upon the wooden tub that was filled with fresh apples and apparently the only refreshments they had. Michael had warned me about the party so why wasn’t anyone feeling different about it. They all seemed to be enjoying themselves. Without anyone looking, I made my move.

Finding Michael’s room, I entered when he permitted me to go in. His room looked the same like mine did. He was sitting at his desk, typing away in a working laptop as thick files piled on his desk.

“So, what is it that you wish to continue? I’ll be honest with you. The Sanctuary is the least of my concern. The last place I want to be before I’m dead is what you call as being ‘classified’’. Who knows you’re just trying to rope people in for the wrong kind of things.” I sat at the edge of his bed, looking at my nails with a bored expression.

“Tell me, Y/N. Do you believe in reincarnations?” He asked, his voice was soft and laced with curiosity.

“I used to, but I don’t think people’s interpretations of them are facts. People mostly believe a soul moves on into another physical form once their life is over before being reborn into a new life. Some claim they see memories of their previous life, thinking that it’s theirs but I don’t think that’s highly true. Our appearance might have changed but I believe a soul is only admitted to one lifetime only and when the time comes for their judgement, they’ll either go to Heaven or Hell.

Maybe people do get to see memories of their previous life, thinking that it’s theirs but to me, that person in that memory was simply just another person that lived with the same soul. They had their own life and their own future. This is my soul now and this is my lifetime. No one else’s but mine only.

‘Eram quod es, eris quod sum’. I was what you are, you will be what I am. And when my time comes, I will be the same as them. Six feet down in my eternal resting place.” He had a twinkle in his eyes as he listens to me speak. He had been observing the way I illiterate the meaning of the word the way I see it.

“Fascinating,” He claims. “And what about soulmates, do you believe in them too?”

“I do, to a certain extent. But not in the way other people see it as. They romanticised it far too much, thinking that there is someone out there, with their souls tied together with the red string of fate. The ones who associate them to a romantic partner are the ones who are desperate for love and I think those who claimed to find their soulmates are simply pathetic.

They never travelled the entire country to look for them. They only assume the person they just met and fell in love with is their soulmate, in the same country, city, town or neighbourhood. They didn’t venture out to look for their true pair.” I gazed down at the floor. “Soulmates are just empty hopes and dreams for those who couldn’t find love.”

“And how do you perceive soulmates as?” He questioned.

“I see them as the person who will always be honest and truthful, the one I can share all my dark secrets and fears with. A person I can be comfortable around and will treat me with the same respect I show them. A person who shares the same believes and goals as I do. A person who can accept me……as I am. Intimate or not.” He reaches out his hand and cups both my cheeks in his palms. He was cold to the touch, giving my skin a cooling sensation.

“Do you think these dreams you have, are memories that belong to the person you share your soul with in the previous life? That woman in your dreams. Do you think it’s your memories too?”

“It could be. But I never said anything about it being my memories. I could have conjured them up from watching too much television. And I didn’t say anything about being the woman in those dreams.”

“Was the woman wearing a white Victorian dress, with her soft long curls cascading down her back, reaching her bottom?

“Almost all women wore like that back then. It doesn’t prove anything.”

“She had green eyes, long curly eyelashes. Her cheeks were blushed a light pink, her lips as red as cherry. And she had a locket around her neck. It was gold in colour. There is also an engraving on it as well. ‘L+L’. Inside the locket holds a picture of the man and the woman.”

“H-how do you know that?”

“Because I have those dreams too. You don’t think that is a coincidence, right? I had them all along. It was the only thing that soothe me to sleep and I look forward to it. I don’t look like the type who could love or show love to others, but I do. And maybe what you are actually seeking is not acceptance from yourself and what you need is what I can give you.” He looks me in the eye.

I stared at him back with the same look as his. “And what do I need?”

He smiles. “Me.”

He grabs on to my arms, pulling me up to my feet. “Hide in the wardrobe. Quickly, now.” He opened the door for me as I stepped inside. “Whatever you do, do not make a noise.” I nodded.

The room grew silent before I heard Michael speak, “Ladies, I’m a little busy right now formulating my selections.”

“This won’t take long.” The voice sounded like Ms. Venable.

“What’s this?”

“We’re making the selections now, Mr. Langdon. And I’m afraid you didn’t make the cut.” It only made the long-haired male chuckle.

“I’m sorry,” he begins, “I wanted to let you have your moment but I just couldn’t hold it in.”

“You think this is funny?” Ms. Venable snaps back calmly. “I think I’m impressed, Ms. Venable. I wasn’t sure you had it in you. You’ve passed the test. You’re perfect for The Sanctuary.”

“Ms. Mead.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Mr. Langdon proclaims. There was a short pause before Ms. Venable spoke again.

“Ms. Mead.” Her tone was stricter now.

All of a sudden, a loud gun shot could be heard. I covered my mouth to muffled my gasp.

“I don’t know why I did that. I was always loyal to her.” The tone was mixed with emotions of sadness and disbelief.

“It’s alright,” he comforts, “You were obeying commands, like you’re programmed to do. My commands.” Footsteps grew closer towards me direction.

“Did you enjoy executing the poison apples plan as much as I enjoyed coming up with it?” He questioned Ms. Mead.

“You wanted everyone dead?” She asked, her voice shaky.

“I’ve never been a fan of getting my hands dirty. Learned that from my father. Always more fun to entice men and women to dirty needs. Confirms what I’ve always believed.”

“W-what do you believe?” Ms. Mead stuttered.

From the gap between the wardrobe doors, I could see him step closer towards her, “That all people, if given the right pressures and stimulus, are real evil motherfuckers.”

Ms. Mead didn’t know how to reply him, it sounded like she was confused. “I-I am having trouble with this. I know I’m just a machine.”

“Never say that!” His voice was laced with anger, his expression soured. “You’re not just a machine, not to me.” For a second, it felt like he actually cared and had actual feelings.

“When I tasked The Cooperative’s R&D Department to have you constructed, I gave them a prototype to model.”

“Prototype?” Of who?

“Of someone from my childhood. Someone very dear to me.” A prototype? No way. Ms. Mead is a…..a robot?

“The beautiful boy.” She replies him. He smiles, his eyes started getting teary as he nods in agreement. “That was me. But I had to keep the most important part of you hidden from your mind.”

“Why?” She questions.

“To protect you, and the plan. But now it’s time to remember it all. I lost you and I couldn’t bear it. I can’t imagine a new world without you by my side. The only woman who ever really understood me.”

“Who ever really loved you.” Slowly, Michael embraces her in his arms. The sight was truly a rare thing to see, seeing as Michael was always look so cold and arrogant. He releases her from his embrace before walking towards the wardrobe.

The doors flew open and he offers me a hand. I slipped mine into his and he helped me get out the small space.

“Y/N, you were in there all this time? What are you doing in Langdon’s room?” She asked me. Suddenly she panicked. “Oh no, I could have killed you too. I’m so sorry, Mr. Langdon. I didn’t know who she was.”

“Who I was? You know me?” How could she know me if I’ve never seen her before, unless? I gazed towards Michael. He only shows me a mischievous grin. “I may or may not have told her about you. After all, I was the one who told The Cooperative to rescue you.”

Taglist: @ meeeeeeeeeps, @ habblez-the-babblez, @ snookabooforever

#michael langdon #michael #langdon #michael langdon x reader #ahs #american horror story #ahs: apocalypse #ahs apocalypse #apocalypse #season 8 #ahs murder house #ahs coven #murder house #coven #the truth about love #leesundeul #cody fern #writings

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hitje · 7 years ago

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Woman Nature (article for Elle Dit 2018)

By Katerina Grypma

I realised I was a part of nature years before I realised I was a woman. Climbing and bleeding, discovering and collecting the insects and animals all over my backyard as a kid, I felt more in touch with non-human life than I have ever since. To me, ecofeminism- a philosophical theory combining feminist and ecological discourses- is a medium through which I can explore and cultivate the fusion of my identities as an environmentalist and a (now adult) woman. More broadly, I feel ecofeminism can deepen feminist thought by reaffirming the significance and strength entailed in womanhood. It can also guide us toward inventive, personally engaging ways of tackling the climate crisis. To demonstrate this, I wanted to focus here upon what ecofeminism can offer environmental conservation, and how it might be applied in a practical sense. There are a few ways, I think.

Firstly, ecofeminism can enhance the effectiveness of some boring but necessary stuff: management arrangements, decision-making procedures and other policy implementations with environmental conservation as their goal. Two concepts at the heart of ecofeminism are:

· that social and environmental issues are interconnected, and

· that the injustices women and the environment are subjected to worldwide both originate, at least in part, from the patriarchal undertones and history of current societies (Schmonsky 2012).

So, adoption of ecofeminist thinking creates a moral imperative to address discriminatory measures within our current socio-economic paradigm. Following this, human diversity- in terms of gender, environmental ethics and preferred lifestyle- can be expressed more strongly and hence, environmental degradation more successfully mitigated (Mies & Shiva, 1993). Critically, this transformation must involve the shifting of dominant assumptions and attitudes before any productive institutional applications can take place. The case study mentioned below sheds some light on one form this may take.

Including women and considering their needs in the development of environmental management plans- as encouraged by ecofeminism- can help address specific issues that may arise in the realisation of those plans. A case study from the United Kingdom provides an insightful example of how this might work: it uncovered the different ways in which men and women experience waste. Researchers found that women are more likely to be committed to recycling, and more likely to be concerned about the health risks associated with waste incineration (Buckingham 2004). The latter concern was mostly expressed by mothers, who understandably have a heightened mindfulness of the kind of world they intend to leave behind for future generations. Unfortunately, it was also found that community meetings and organisations focused upon waste management were inaccessible to mothers (e.g. made no provision for childcare) and lacked female representation. So, instigating policies that ease the burden of imposed gender roles (which might prevent women from, as illustrated, being more involved in civic duties) would enable them to positively contribute to waste management. As a male-dominated profession, waste management was concluded to be improvable through the achievement of further gender equality. Better public participation procedures, consultations and internal training policies involving women were suggested pathways to accomplishing this (Buckingham 2004).

Outside of the UK, such equality-promoting environmental policies would benefit from recognising that in certain regions, women’s work is closely related to environmental management (e.g. the work of women farmers in Vietnam (Andutan 2016)). Ecofeminism stresses that this wisdom should be taken advantage of in ways that benefit local communities and the environment.

This leads on to how ecofeminist ideas can address the limits of feminist practices which lack an ecological outlook. Humanity’s close relationship with nature is emphasised in cultural ecofeminism, a school of thought that embraces emotional and biological associations of women with the environment. This perspective developed as an alternative to radical ecofeminism, which sees the female-nature relationship as a social construct, fabricated to degrade women (Miles 2013). As an aside; I personally see the merit of aspects of both approaches, although I have explored cultural ecofeminism a little more as its pagan roots intrigue me. One article involving cultural ecofeminist undertones asserts that any praxis aiming to emancipate women is futile if it does not recognise the intimate relationship between human beings, animals and ecological systems (Lee 2006). As we become ever more informed about how conventional modes of development are increasingly affecting the welfare of ecosystems, defining freedom solely in terms of human welfare is rendered immoral and feeble. Our understanding of the ways in which we need nature; our acknowledgement of its intrinsic value, should lead us to recognise that an emancipation whose cost is the extinction and expropriation of nonhuman others is indefensible.

Epic challenges lie ahead if we want to make the progress on issues of climate justice needed for a safer, more beautiful future world. But hope can be found in the fact that, as women, we’ve faced countless overwhelming challenges before, and emerged triumphant. I find hope in our unique knowledge and experiences, and the tangible differences these can make when applied. I find hope when I remember that, going into the future, we’ll always have each other.

For further reading I’d recommend Womankind magazine’s ‘Gyrfalcon’ edition as an introduction to ecofeminism, as well as the articles referred to in this piece.

References

- Schmonsky, J 2012, ‘The Growing Importance of Ecofeminism’, Voices for Biodiversity, 22 October, viewed 4 May 2018, <https://voicesforbiodiversity.org/articles/the-growing-importance-of-ecofeminism>

- Mies, M & Shiva, V 1993, Ecofeminism, Zed Books Ltd, London, quoted in Women and Life on Earth, What is ecofeminism?, Women and Life on Earth, viewed 4 May 2018, <http://www.wloe.org/what-is-ecofeminism.76.0.html>

- Buckingham, S 2004, ‘Ecofeminism in the twenty-first century’, The Geographical Journal, vol. 170, no. 2, pp. 146-154.

- Andutan, MS 2016, ‘Unleashing the potential of Vietnamese women farmers as change agents’, Research Program on Climate Change, Agriculture and Food Security, 19 May, viewed 4 May 2018, <https://ccafs.cgiar.org/blog/unleashing-potential-vietnamese-women-farmers-change-agents#.WuwbeYiFPIU>

- Miles, K 2013, Ecofeminsim, Encyclopædia Britannica, viewed 4 May 2018, <https://www.britannica.com/topic/ecofeminism>

- Lee, L 2006, ‘On Ecology and Aesthetic Experience: A Feminist Theory of Value and Praxis’, Ethics & the Environment, vol. 11, no. 1, pp. 21-41.

#ecofeminism #writing #elle dit #adelaide

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leisurelypanda · 7 years ago

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Trigger warning: panic attack

Steve woke the next day feeling significantly better than he had the day before. His anxiety, which was no longer had the dial cranked to 11, had not died down completely, but enough to the point that it was manageable. Thankfully, it was Saturday, so he didn’t have to actually be anywhere.

Wait, he thought. There’s Thor’s thing today. Right. Am I going to that?

The problem was that he had no idea when this thing was starting. Was it an all day event? An afternoon party? In the evening? He had no idea. All he knew was that it was apparently some important religious event for Thor.

Does that mean I have to dress like I’m going to church? he wondered. He really didn’t feel like dressing in anything but comfortable pants and a t-shirt and probably a hoodie or a jacket or something.

He decided that the easiest way to find out was to text Thor and ask. He floundered for his phone on the bedside table and saw that it was nearly noon. Not surprising. He usually slept more after his anxiety started dying down. He never slept soundly through the night, but he would take what he could get. He also noticed that Thor had texted him that morning asking if he was coming.

When is it? he texted. Do I have to dress up?

He sighed, letting his head flop down onto his pillows again. He groaned, but pushed himself off the bed. He needed to be ready to go whenever this thing was going to start. He did his morning ablutions, grateful that he had the energy to do them.

“Feeling better this morning?” his mother asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, not at 100% but better,” he answered.

“Good,” she said, presenting him with his morning dose of his meds. Being a nurse she could be particularly insistent about taking his meds as prescribed. Not that he ever really needed persuading anymore, he knew he would feel better when he did. Theoretically they were supposed to be working towards getting him off them, but… progress was slow going lately.

“Any plans for today?” she asked.

“Thor has some party going on tonight or something,” he said. “It’s not Halloween, though, it’s… Samhain? I think that’s what it’s called.”

“Really? He’s pagan?” she asked.

“You’ve heard of it?”

“You meet all sorts of people at the hospital,” she said. “One of the perks of being a nurse. It’s the pagan new year to honor the ancestors, I believe. It’s also a time to reflect on what’s happened over the past year and what you’d like to do differently.”

“Maybe there’s a way to exempt one particular ancestor from honoring,” he muttered.

“Hey, just because you’re going doesn’t mean you have to take part,” she said. “Just like church. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.” I suppose that’s true, he thought. He looked down as his phone buzzed. Thor had gotten back to him.

It starts at 6, it read. And no, you only have to dress up if you want to.

Well that’s something, he thought.

I’ll be there, he texted.

Great! Do you need a ride or will your mom bring you? She is welcome to stay if she wants.

“Mom, how do you feel about going to a Samhain party?” he asked.

“Steve, I haven’t been to a party in years,” she said. “I’d love to go!”

“Cool, it’s at 6,” he said.

“Well, at least that gives me time to dress nice and put on my makeup,” she said, cheerfully. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

His mother pulled into a parking spot on the street near Thor’s house. There was already quite a few people there from the looks of things. Steve was dressed in comfortable clothes and immediately started to worry about whether or not he was under dressed, whether Thor was just trying to be nice but actually wanted him to dress up, whether he was about to disappoint literally everyone and make Thor look bad. He debated hiding in a bush.

“You’ll be fine, Steve,” she said quietly. “He wouldn’t have invited you if he didn’t want you to be here.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath and got out of the car. He led his mom to the Odinson residence and chuckled as she whistled.

“What did you say his father does, again?” she asked, staring up at an entire building for a single family.

“He’s the chief diplomat at the Swedish embassy,” Steve answered.

“Not too shabby,” she said before she walked up to the front door. Mr. Baker was the one to open when she knocked.

“Ms. Rogers,” he greeted with a smile. “So happy to see you again.”

“You’ve met?” Steve asked.

“When he picked you up for the Homecoming dance,” she explained. “So good to see you again, Bertie.”

“Bertie?”

“Mr. Baker,” Mr. Baker corrected sternly. “Please come in.”

He took their coats as they stepped into the house. It was unlike how Steve remembered. There were lots of autumnal decorations like wreaths of fall leaves, pumpkins, vases in the classic fall colors. There was even an alter that Steve didn’t remember decorated with skulls, a small figurine of the grim reaper, pictures of various people that Steve figured were Thor’s ancestors. There was also a small basket of apples placed, some herbs he couldn’t name, and a twig with some kind of pine needles. It was beautiful in its way.

They made their way out to the backyard where everyone seemed to be gathering. Steve immediately realized that even though Thor told him he didn’t have to dress up, nearly everyone there had not gotten the same message. Given that it was Halloween, that meant a different kind of dress. There were people in superhero costumes, there were nurses, doctors, animals, and even a couple people who were impersonating presidents. Unfortunately, there were no bushes for Steve to hide in. He was at a social function feeling too awkward to express and there was nowhere for him to hide.

“There you are, älskling,” said a voice. Steve turned around to see his boyfriend descend from the steps of the porch and pull him into an embrace. He was dressed in his suit again and Steve’s mouth started to salivate at the sight. It was quickly becoming his favorite image of Thor. He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek. “I am so glad you could make it.”

“I feel like hiding under a rock,” he admitted.

Thor took his hand. “Is your anxiety still giving you trouble?” he asked.

“It always gives me trouble, but it’s better than it was yesterday,” Steve replied.

“I am glad, then,” Thor said, lacing their fingers together. “It is good to see you again, Ms. Rogers. We are glad you could join us this evening.”

“My pleasure, Thor,” she said with a smile. “It is good to see you as well. Steve doesn’t tell me nearly enough about you.”

“Perhaps you can work your charm on my mother, then,” he said gesturing across the crowd. “I am sure she would love nothing better than to tell you every embarrassing detail of my life.”

“What else are mothers for?” she said. “Excuse me.”

“Are you hungry?” Thor asked.

“Starving,” he admitted. “This isn’t a holiday where you have to fast, is it?”

Thor laughed loudly. “Not unless you desire to do so,” he said. “Which would be a shame because the pig roast this year is particularly good.”

“A pig roast?” Steve asked. “Are you pulling my leg?”

Thor chuckled and led him to the part of the yard with the buffet table. There was, indeed, an entire barbecued pig with an apple in its mouth on the center of the table. People had helped themselves to some of it, but there was still plenty of meat left. Not surprising, since the beast looked heavier than he did.

“So… how does this work?” he asked. “Do I just… tear off a piece?”

Thor held up a set of carving implements. “What do you want? Ham? Loin? Bacon? The ribs have been spoken for, unfortunately.”

“By whom?” Steve demanded.

“By me, of course,” Thor said with a grin.

“What if I asked nicely?” Steve asked. Thor’s eyes became hooded.

“I suppose, I could make an exception for you,” he grumbled. “Since you are very cute tonight.”

Steve’s entire face began to heat up at that. Trust his boyfriend to make him feel flustered and awkward at the first opportunity. His boyfriend had the nerve to chuckle as he smiled at him.

“Have I told you recently how beautiful you are when you blush?” he asked.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve cried, burying his face in his hands.

“You are so beautiful, I cannot help it, my älskling,” he said, laughing.

“Give me some pork,” Steve replied.

“Coming right up!”

The insufferable man chuckled as he expertly carved the pig to get the desired meat. Though Steve did step back to admire him. He filled out the suit nicely, the fabric’s cut accentuating his broad shoulders. He looked as comfortable in a suit as he did in jeans and a t-shirt, a football jersey, or in business casual attire. Steve’s eyes wandered down to his boyfriend’s most beautiful… asset. His ass. It was… magnificent.

“You’re quiet back there,” Thor said without turning around. Instead, he bent down further to get more food. “You didn’t get distracted by anything, I hope.”

“Yeah, right,” he replied. “Nothing to see back here.”

“That’s a shame,” Thor said, turning around. He presented him with a plate of barbecue pork, sweet corn, and roasted butternut squash.

“Thanks,” he said. Then he took a deep breath, smelling the aroma of fresh food and Thor’s cologne. “Your butt looks nice.”

Thor chuckled. “But I thought you said there was nothing to be seen,” he teased. Then he kissed him and Steve hummed appreciatively. He could taste the barbecue and spices on his tongue. “Thank you, Steve.”

Steve blushed for the 1000th time since he arrived and decided that the best course of action was to occupy his face with eating. The pork was tender and succulent and the barbecue sauce was a heat to it that complimented the food nicely.

“So,” Steve said as they meandered through the yard. “If I didn’t have to dress up, why are you in a suit?”

“I wanted you to be comfortable,” Thor said. “And my family is hosting a party, so I have to wear a suit.”

“Speaking of the party,” he said as they approached the bonfire. “Is there any like, deeper meaning to everything here?”

“Well, Samhain was the harvest festival,” Thor explained. “It symbolized the end of the growing season and the coming of the winter months. So the bobbing for apples and the carving of pumpkins were ways to celebrate, give thanks, and remember the cycle of life in preparation for winter. There is also a plate of food at the end of the table for the ancestors.”

“And the bonfire?” he asked.

“Another Samhain tradition,” he explained. “You write something that you would like to leave in the past year, like a habit, and cast it into the flames.”

“I would like to be less afraid,” Steve said.

“My älskling,” Thor said. “You are already one of the bravest people I know.”

“And yet I am still afraid all the time,” he replied. Thor was silent for a while as they stared at the flames dancing in the pit.

“I do not know as much about magick as Loki or mother,” he said. “But perhaps it would help.”

Steve thought for a moment. Thor took a piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket. Steve handed him his plate and took the supplies Thor offered. He thought for another moment. Anxiety wasn’t really a habit. But it was something he wanted to be able to rid of. Or at least, be in control of, to one extent or another. It was unlikely that he would ever actually be rid of his mental illness.

Screw it, he thought. He wrote down his anxiety and tossed it into the flames. Whether there was any magic in it at all, whether there were any gods watching out for him, whether his prayer was heard, he didn’t know. But there was some small measure of satisfaction in watching the piece of paper with the thing that had dominated his life for so long burn to ash. As the embers rose up into the night sky under the light of the moon, he imagined his fear and anxiety flying away with them.

“How does it feel?” Thor asked.

“It feels good, honestly,” Steve answered. Thor kissed his head.

“Ah Steve, welcome,” said a new voice. It was Loki. He was standing on the other side of him. Unlike Thor, he was dressed in a Victorian style vest with a green button down shirt and tight black slacks. The Odinson men seemed to like tight clothing, especially pants. “I hope you are enjoying Samhain?”

“It’s been interesting so far,” he said.

“I am glad,” he said. “My mother was looking for you. She has something for you.”

Steve took his plate back from his boyfriend. “Shall we move on?” he proposed. Thor nodded. “Where can we find her?”

“She’s on the porch sitting on a couch,” Loki indicated with a nod. Steve looked through the crowd and saw his mother talking to Thor’s. He smiled as he realized she was laughing. They made their way through the crowd and sat down at some other chairs in the vicinity.

“Steve, welcome!” Frigga cried. “Come, I want to do something for you.”

“Ma’am you really don’t have to,” he protested. “You’ve given me more than enough.”

“It is not a gift, per se,” she said. She took out a deck of cards. They were larger than the average playing deck and definitely had more than 52 cards. “I would like to offer you a reading, if you agree.”

“A reading of what?” he asked.

“Tarot, älskling,” Thor said. “She’s offering you a tarot reading.”

“Like, to look into the future?” he asked.

“Tarot cannot actually tell the future, dear,” she said. “It is more of a way of looking at your situation from another perspective.”

“All right, then. I can give it a whirl,” he said. It made about as much sense as the rosary to him, honestly.

“Excellent,” she said. She set the cards down in front of him. “Now, I want you to think carefully about something you want clarity on and focus on that as you shuffle the cards.”

“Oh,” he said. Once again he gave his food to Thor and took the cards. They were a bit of a stretch for his hands, honestly. He struggled with them for a moment, but he was able to bridge them a few times before he cut the deck and bridged it once more. Frigga had him lay out five cards, one in the center, representing himself, and four around representing what he needed to know to the east, his home life in the south, his relationships in the west, and the outcome in the north. When he was done she offered a prayer to a god he noticed shared her name and bowed his head out of respect.

The first card was labeled, “Knight of Pentacles” and it was upside down.

“This card here represents feeling stuck,” Frigga explained. “You feel like you’re not making as much progress as you would like.”

“That makes sense,” Steve said. “I thought my anxiety was getting better, but…”

“You feel like it’s not as much as you thought,” she finished. “The Knight of Pentacles can also be a sign that you are too critical, demanding perfection from yourself. You might need to learn to be kinder to yourself.”

Steve hummed. Frigga turned over the next card.

“The six of wands,” she read. “This card means progress and having faith in yourself. Since it is here in the place of what you need to know going forward, I would say that it is reiterating the message of the knight. You need to have confidence in yourself. You’re more capable than you think, dear.”

“I mean, if it was that easy to have more confidence I wouldn’t be in this mess,” Steve grumbled.

“I know, dear,” she said. “The card also symbolizes success. Your mother has told me something of what you’ve been through. You have made more progress than you realize.”

Steve looked at his mother quizzically.

“Nothing personal,” she said. “Just about Joe.”

“Oh, that’s okay then,” he said. He turned over the next card, his home card.

“The knight of wands, inverted,” she said. “Feeling impatient lately?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Knight cards usually symbolise action,” she explained. “When they’re inverted, they represent inaction, a block, or sometimes restlessness. The knight of wands especially represents wanting to move on, but not being able to.”

He nodded in understanding. “I wish I could forget that it ever happened and get to the part where everything is better already.”

“There is no path except the slow one, I’m afraid,” Frigga said gently. “Make sure that you don’t rush into anything before you’re ready.”

Steve thought for a moment. “Thor could you get me a drink?”

“Of course,” he said. Steve took a bite of the squash and waited until he was gone to ask his question. “What if…?”

Frigga waited patiently for him to finish.

“What if I’m not ready… in time?”

“In time for what?” she asked.

“You know…”

“Sex?” she finished. He nodded and blushed furiously as she chuckled.

“Thor will not push you into anything you are not ready for, dear,” she said. “You need not worry.”

“You know telling someone with anxiety not to worry isn’t really helpful,” Steve said with a laugh. She laughed as well.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” she said. She flipped over the next card. “Now this is a good sign.”

“What’s a good sign?” Thor asked. “I brought cider. It’s clean.”

“Thanks,” Steve said. “Apparently my relationship card is good.”

“It’s the two of cups,” she explained. “It represents that you and Thor are on the same page and that your relationship is harmonious. It’s a good card to have in your relationship place.”

“Does it mean that we’re soulmates or something?” Steve asked.

“It means you’re a good match for each other, at the very least,” she said, her eyes twinkling. Thor laced their fingers together.

“Thor, we might be good for each other, but I still need my hand to eat,” Steve said with a laugh. Thor kissed his hand before he let it go.

“You two are so cute, it’s nauseating,” Steve’s mom said. Steve stuck his tongue out at her in reply.

“The last card, your outcome,” Frigga said. “The ace of swords. This is probably the best card in the spread. Aces represent new beginnings, and the ace of swords in particular represents making a breakthrough, which is what you’re after.”

“Well, thank God for that,” he said.

“You just have to be patient,” his mother teased.

“Damn it,” he muttered. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the party passed more or less like any other Halloween party Steve had ever gone to. There were some people drunk on the cider, but remarkably, he didn’t react that much. Aside from his anxiety he wasn’t really having a bad time. Thor bobbed for apples and absolutely ruined his suit, much to Steve and Loki’s amusement. His new outfit when he came back was much simpler: jeans and a hoodie. And immediately tried again. This time he succeeded.

“I told you I could do it,” he bragged, taking a bite out of the apple.

“Sorry I ever doubted you, dear brother,” Loki drawled.

“I never doubted you, babe,” Steve said.

“At least someone has good sense,” he said, striding over to him and kissing him. Loki made some kind of disgusted noise and comment about the two of them being gross, but Steve wasn’t listening. The fact that Thor was completely drenched didn’t even seem to matter.

Then he felt it. The fear. The sudden onset of terror. It seized him like a back alley thief. He was going to die.

I’m going to die! I’m not ready to die! he thought frantically. The words raced through his mind at top speed, like a racecar running round and round in an endless loop.

His body began to tremble and his heart was racing like he was running a marathon. He began to break out in a cold sweat. He jumped away from his boyfriend like he was on fire. Thor moved back and looked him in the eyes.

“Do you want to go inside?” he asked. “We do not need to stay out here.”

“Yes,” he managed to say. “Yes.”

“Can I touch you?” he asked. Steve nodded. He took Steve’s hand. His grip was gentle, but firm.

Thor led him through the crowd, careful to keep people at bay. Steve was shaking like a leaf as he was led away. It took all his concentration not to break into a dead run and break through the crowd of people until he was inside. To his surprise their mothers were both inside on the couch. Steve sat on the nearest available space on the couch. Thor sat next to him, holding his hand. He was talking to him about something but Steve couldn’t keep track of what it was.

Their mothers, thankfully, did not approach him. His mother knew that when he was like this, he really could only handle one person at a time usually. Frigga left, but she returned later and handed something to Thor. Steve felt something warm and damp at his forehead. A rag. Or something like that. He focused on his breathing as much as possible. He needed to breathe.

And then, as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. His heart rate slowed, his body normalized. He took a deep, slow breath. Then another. And another. He collapsed back against the couch with a sigh. Couch. Thor’s couch. Thor’s couch in Thor’s house. Thor’s hand was holding his.

God, Steve thought. He was so… tired.

“How long did it take?” he asked.

“37 minutes from when Thor brought you in,” his mom said. “A bit longer than usual.”

“God,” he whispered. Sometimes, like when it happened at school with Thor after he had seen him have a panic attack the first time, he could laugh it off. Sometimes, like now and the first time he’d had one here, it left him exhausted and raw, like an exposed nerve. He was trying to do some of the coping mechanisms he learned to deal with the anxiety after his panic attack, but he was too high strung right now. He couldn’t focus on them.

“Do you need anything?” Thor asked. Steve sighed, the tears welling in his eyes.

“I want to go home,” Steve said. His mother stood and grabbed her purse. Mr. Baker held out her jacket for her.

“Thank you,” she said. “It was a wonderful evening.”

“Of course, love,” Frigga said. “You must come back sometime, we would love to have you.”

She nodded and ushered Steve out the door. Steve shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I hate this,” he muttered.

“It’s not your fault, dear,” she replied.

“I know,” he said. “But I hate that I’m not getting better at these.”

“You have gotten better, Steve,” she said, gently. “You used to shut yourself in our apartment for fear of having an attack if you left. You used to skip school for weeks because you were afraid of having one there. You used to hate having people see you while you were having a panic attack.”

“I haven’t been getting better lately,” he countered. “I still feel exhausted and I just want to sleep and forget about the world.”

“You’ll get there, Steve,” she said. “But for now, it’s okay to be tired.”

#thundershield #trigger warning: panic attack #stevethor #thorsteve #steve rogers x thor #thor x steve rogers #marvel #avengers #Thundering Heart #Ballad of the Thundering Heart #fanfic #my work

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megalium · 4 years ago

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C.D.C. Urges Better Masking for Increased Protection

Massachusetts is offering a shot to anyone who accompanies an older resident to a mass vaccination site. A W.H.O. panel recommends AstraZeneca’s vaccine even in countries where variants have been found. New York’s governor says arenas and stadiums can open this month with spectators, at very limited capacity.

Wearing a mask — any mask — reduces the risk of infection with the coronavirus, but wearing a more tightly fitted surgical mask, or layering a cloth mask atop a surgical mask, can vastly increase protections to the wearer and others, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported on Wednesday.

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New research by the agency shows that transmission of the virus can be reduced by up to 96.5 percent if both an infected individual and an uninfected individual wear tightly fitted surgical masks or a cloth-and-surgical-mask combination.

Dr. Rochelle P. Walensky, director of the C.D.C., announced the findings during Wednesday’s White House coronavirus briefing, and coupled them with a plea for Americans to wear “a well-fitting mask” that has two or more layers. President Biden has challenged Americans to wear masks for the first 100 days of his presidency, and Dr. Walensky said that masks were especially crucial given the concern about new variants circulating.

“With cases hospitalizations and deaths still very high, now is not the time to roll back mask requirements,” she said, adding, “The bottom line is this: Masks work, and they work when they have a good fit and are worn correctly.”

Virus-related deaths, which resurged sharply in the United States in November and still remain high, appear to be in a steady decline; new virus cases and hospitalizations began to drop last month. But researchers warn that a more contagious virus variant first found in Britain is doubling roughly every 10 days in the United States. The C.D.C. cautioned last month that it could become the dominant variant in the nation by March.

As of Feb. 1, 14 states and the District of Columbia had implemented universal masking mandates; masking is now mandatory on federal property and on domestic and international transportation. But while masks are known to both reduce respiratory droplets and aerosols exhaled by infected wearers and to protect the uninfected wearer, their effectiveness varies widely because of air leaking around the edges of the mask.

“Any mask is better than none,” said Dr. John Brooks, lead author of the new C.D.C. study. “There are substantial and compelling data that wearing a mask reduces spread, and in communities that adopt mask wearing, new infections go down.”

But, he added, the new research shows how to enhance the protection. The agency’s new laboratory experiments are based on the ideas put forth by Linsey Marr, an expert in aerosol transmission at Virginia Tech, and Dr. Monica Gandhi, who studies infectious diseases at the University of California, San Francisco.

One option for reducing transmission is to wear a cloth mask over a surgical mask, the agency said. The alternative is to fit the surgical mask more tightly on the face by “knotting and tucking” — that is, knotting the two strands of the ear loops together where they attach to the edge of the mask, then folding and flattening the extra fabric at the mask’s edge and tucking it in for a tighter seal.

Dr. Brooks cautioned that the new study was based on laboratory experiments, and it’s unclear how these masking recommendations will perform in the real world (the experiments used three-ply surgical and cloth masks). “But it’s very clear evidence that the more of us who wear masks and the better the mask fits, the more each of us benefit individually.”

Other effective options that improve the fit include using a mask-fitter — a frame contoured to the face — over a mask, or wearing a sleeve of sheer nylon hosiery material around the neck and pulled up over a cloth or surgical mask, the C.D.C. said.

Even as vaccines are being slowly rolled out across the country, the emergence of the new variants, which may respond differently to treatments or dodge the immune system to some degree, has prompted public health officials to emphasize that Americans should continue to take protective measures like masking.

In a bid to get more residents age 75 and older vaccinated, Massachusetts officials say they will also inoculate the people accompanying them, regardless of age, to mass vaccination sites, which can be confusing to navigate.

“The idea for a mass vaccination site can seem a bit daunting,” Marylou Sudders, the secretary for health and human services in Massachusetts, said at a news conference on Wednesday.

The knowledge that the person accompanying them to the vaccination site will also be inoculated, Ms. Sudders said, may “bring an extra level of comfort to those who may be hesitant or don’t want to bother their caregiver or loved one or a good friend to book an appointment.”

Massachusetts has administered almost a million doses of the vaccine at nearly 130 sites statewide, said Gov. Charlie Baker. About 10 percent of residents have received at least one dose of the vaccine, and 2.8 percent have received both doses, according to a New York Times tracker.

Companions should be able to schedule their vaccine along with that of the older resident, the governor said, and effective Thursday, they now can.

Joan Hatem-Roy, the chief executive of Elder Services of Merrimack Valley, a nonprofit group in Northeast Massachusetts, called the idea “a game changer.”

“I get nervous going to a Patriots game at Gillette, so I can imagine a senior trying to think about going to Gillette Stadium,” one of the vaccination sites, Ms. Hatem-Roy said.

Some expressed concern that younger people who are less susceptible to serious illness from the virus might get a vaccine before people who are 65 or older or who have chronic health conditions.

But Governor Baker said the immediate goal was to make sure people 75 and older are vaccinated.

“Those communities are far more likely to lose their life and get hospitalized as a result of Covid,” he said. “We want to make sure that we make it as easy as we possibly can for folks who fall into that over-75 category to get vaccinated and to get vaccinated early in this process.”

The state’s decision to vaccinate companions came as a surprise to Dr. Ashish Jha, the dean of Brown University’s School of Public Health, who said Massachusetts had not moved as quickly as he had expected on vaccinations. He said he would rather see more vulnerable groups be deemed eligible for the vaccination first and for any transportation issues to be resolved without companions getting shots.

“I do know that the governor is feeling a lot of pressure to improve the performance in the state,” Dr. Jha said. “That may be part of the motivation for doing this, because it will certainly bump up those numbers.”

He does not expect other states to follow suit — at least, not right away.

But Dr. Jha said it might be different in April or May, when the supply of vaccine may outweigh the demand.

In some places, a similar model has been attempted on a smaller scale.

In Albemarle County, Va., 70 caregivers and family care providers for people with intellectual disabilities were vaccinated, according to local affiliate NBC29. In Texas, older and disabled residents said they wanted their home health workers to be vaccinated, but many workers were refusing the inoculation, according to The Texas Tribune.

With fraud already popping up in everything from vaccines to tests to stimulus checks, Dr. Jha worried that scammers might try to use the new Massachusetts program to take advantage of older residents.

“I don’t know how you carefully police that,” he said. “There are bad actors who may try to manipulate this.”

Ms. Sudders offered her own warning on Wednesday, urging older residents’ not to accept offers from strangers to be their vaccine companions.

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ilovemesomekillianjones · 8 years ago

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Accidentally My Ass - Part 2

Part two of Accidentally My Ass, requested by @kmomof4 looks at things from Killian's point of view on their first date after the “Original Swan-Jones Merger” Thanks for the prompt mama!! Rated M. Part one of this story was inspired by this post and prompt from @xemmaloveskillianx This chapter is unbeta'd. Also on ao3 and ffnet

Killian looked into the mirror again, straightened his tie, and checked the buttons on his jacket once more. His brother and friends always gave him shit about the amount of time he spent primping. It wasn’t that he was vain, but who didn’t want to look their best? Especially for a night out with Emma Swan. He looked himself up and down as the blonde goddess passed through his mind. “This is all wrong, mate,” he mumbled to himself, then proceeded to strip down to his boxer briefs and find a new ensemble for the evening. Good thing he’d given himself two hours when he’d started his preening. Looking at his phone he saw that he had exactly forty-five minutes left to finish and get to Emma’s doorstep.

From the moment Killian had seen Emma Swan he’d wanted her body, from the moment he’d met her, he’d wanted more. He’d pled with Liam, to add a stipulation to the upcoming merger. He even enlisted his brother’s wife, Elsa, to convince Liam to implement this new stipulation... Killilan would be brought on to the merged team as part of the business contract for a time no less than six months.

Checking himself one last time, and deciding he now looked devilishly handsome, he grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out the door. He wondered what deliciousness she would be wearing tonight, thinking back on that sinful red dress.

When he’d seen Emma up in her office window the night of the merger celebration, the lines of her dress hugging every curve, the outline of her perfect breasts taunting him, his cock had stirred. It wasn’t the first time he’d been affected so instantaneously by this gorgeous lass either. He’d slapped on his smoothest smile and given her a debonair wave of his hand for her to join the party. Her almost imperceptible nod had his heart racing.

He’d quickly excused himself from the conversation he’d been half listening to and headed straight to the bathroom; he’d splashed cold water on his face in an effort to tamp down his desire. The more he tried to sway his thoughts elsewhere though, the more she invaded his senses. He’d been plagued or blessed, he couldn’t quite decide, with fantasy upon fantasy invading his mind nightly, for weeks by this point. He couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t woken during the night stroking his already rock hard length, images of her riding him or sucking him off driving him until his chest was covered in his release. “Fuck,” he muttered, stepping away from the sink and into the stall. Unfastening his trousers he pulled them down just enough to take himself in hand. It wouldn’t do to have a raging erection while trying to maintain a conversation with her. One moment he had been planning to jerk off as quickly as possible, and the next moment he was entertaining thoughts of how to get Emma to be the one to make him come. Before thinking twice he was snapping a picture of his dick held firmly in his grasp, and sending it to Emma. If she got pissed he’d say it was an accident; what could go wrong?

As he awaited a response, slowly stroking himself, lucid thoughts started to fill his head… the one with the actual brain. Fuck, what if she gets seriously pissed? What if she tells Liam? Sexual harassment… shit! What if-

E: Come up to my office

Bloody Hell. I’ve done it now.

E: Please

She’s going to fire me, sue me, cancel the merger, then kill me… Fuck! He started to type an apology, then deleted it, then he started to type an excuse, and deleted that as well. What could he say?

Tucking himself away, he stuck his phone in his pocket, and washed his hands. Scrutinizing himself for the depravity of his last choice, he chastised himself for not keeping it in his pants. Whether he meant the phone or his dick, he wasn’t sure; and at this point did it even matter? Exiting the bathroom he’d walked toward his imminent demise.

Killian came out of his reverie as he pulled up outside the house matching the address she’d texted him. Walking up the path to her door he took a deep breath, not sure why he was nervous. Why was the act of communicating intimately so much harder than physical intimacy? He knocked softly on her door, just as he had at her office.

“Come in!”

He heard her yell from inside, and his first thought was that he hoped to be coming in her tonight. He slapped a hand over his eyes and dragged it down his face. Fuck! You have got to get your head right, mate, he mentally scolded his baser sided mind.

“I’ll be out in a few, make yourself comfortable.”

“Okay, don’t rush,” he called back. He removed his leather jacket and unbuttoned his waistcoat before taking a seat in her living room. “Good taste,” he mumbled to no one in particular when he noticed her choice in couch, black leather to be specific, matched his own. He sat back and made himself comfortable, and like always, when left to his own devices, thoughts of Emma filled his mind.

He’d entered with his eyes trained on the floor after she’d called him in. After closing the door softly behind him he turned around and chanced a look toward her desk. She was behind it standing at a credenza with her back to him and he couldn’t help himself, this was possibly the last time he’d be able to ogle her delectable backside. He felt himself stirring to life again and decided it was in his best interest to have a seat quickly, lest he greet her with a phallic salute.

“Know why I called you in here?”

Fuck me, he’d thought, right to the point then. “Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic?” “Accidentally?”

He weighed his option as he read her tone, she’d almost sounded disappointed.

“Well, yes, I have no wish to be fired.” He held his breath as he waited to see if she bought it. Eyes still downcast he noticed her feet come into view as she walked around to the front of her desk. He could smell her now, and fuck if he wasn’t getting harder. She was a vision to behold as his eyes roamed every inch of her, starting with her stiletto clad feet and moving upward. He wanted to run his tongue along the path his eyes were taking, and couldn’t help himself as his tongue darted along his bottom lip, she was positively mouth watering. He bit down on his lip as her breasts came into view, he wanted to mark them, bite and work them.

“You thought I called you up here to fire you?”

Well, hadn’t she? He couldn’t help as his eyes shot to hers trying to get a read on her mood, was she insulted, angry, disgusted? He felt hotness flood his cheeks when he realized she was watching him as he’d been eye fucking her. Yup, definitely getting shit canned, he thought.

“Sorry, Em- Ms. Swan. I uh, you look lovely tonight,” he stuttered over his every word, and scratched behind his ear. He internally rolled his eyes at himself, she’s seen your dick, and you’re embarrassed she caught you staring shamelessly.

“Thank you, but please, call me Emma.”

“Ok, Emma.” Maybe she wasn’t as pissed as he thought? Bloody Hell! The shiver that wracked her body caused her nipples to strain against the fabric of her dress and-

“Accidentally my ass.”

He smirked at the fire in this tough lass, he knew she was a feisty one, and gods he only wanted her more because of it.

“Knew it!”

Well this was an unexpected development, the look in her eyes said she might want him almost as much as he wanted her. “Well now that you know it, what are you going to do about it,” he’d challenged.

He watched as her hand shot to her mouth, hmmm she must not have intended to say that aloud. She recovered quickly this fiery minx, asking him in return, “I don’t know, what do you think I should do about it?” He was barely able to catch the groan from escaping his throat but needed to adjust himself, he was painfully hard at this point. Before he had a moment to assimilate a response she’d hauled him up and her soft lips were pressed to his, her warm wet tongue on his…

He was broken from his titillating train of thought as his phone chimed with an incoming text. Opening the message absentmindedly he was caught off guard by the image that stared back at him. “How the fuck am I supposed to make it through dinner like this?” he muttered, adjusting himself once more. Emma was leaned on her dresser, one hand propping up her chin, and the other held her phone to snap a selfie in her mirror, her decolletage was on full display at the angle she was leaning and she had a sultry pout on her full lips. He stared at the photo helplessly, trying to restrain himself from marching to her room and having his wicked way with her. His phone went off again.

E: I need help with my dress

E: Please

Killian Jones did not have to be told twice. He was on his feet and headed down the short hallway in the blink of an eye. Pushing open the first door he came to, he found an empty office, the next door was a bathroom. Third time’s the charm, he thought as he pushed open the third door, and there she stood in the center of her room. She had her back to him and the zipper to her black leather dress was undone down to the swell of her ass.

“I can’t seem to get my zipper to cooperate,” she said breathily, looking at him over her shoulder, “give me a hand?”

Killian gulped as he approached her. “You look irresistible this evening, Swan,” he spoke into her ear when he reached her. He grasped the material of her dress below the zip holding it firmly, then started to pull up the zipper.

“Then don’t resist,” Emma whispered, wrapping her hands behind her to still his. She pulled his hands around her waist, pressed her body into his, and rested her head back on his shoulder.

“Emma,” he moaned, “I thought you were going to let me take you out to dinner, on a proper date?”

“I am, I just thought we might start with dessert,” she answered pushing her ass into his groin. “Mmm someone is ready.”

Once again, Killian didn’t need to be told twice. He nuzzled his nose into her neck, inhaling deeply before sucking at her soft skin. She tasted divine as he kissed and licked up her neck, when he got to her ear, he bit down on her lobe and thrust his hips against her supple backside, “Dessert it is, darling.”

Emma whirled around in his arms, threw hers around his neck and jumped on him wrapping her legs tightly around his body. She felt his hands grasp her ass to hold her against him as she attacked his mouth, “I’ve been waiting all week for this,” she panted between kisses. “Having to see you at the office all day and not being able to have you is like some form of torture.”

He pulled back to look at her. “Why didn’t you just call me up to your office? Still afraid I’ll sue?” he chuckled.

Emma laughed heartily, “No, but we do have actual work to get done, how would we accomplish that if we spend our days fucking?”

“Fair point, I guess we’ll just have to make up for it now.” He took the couple steps to her dresser and sat her on it. He slowly dragged the straps of her dress down her shoulders, ghosting his fingers along her upper arms. Killian loved how her skin responded to his touch, he loved Emma’s every response to his touch. “Do you even own a bra, Swan?”

“Many, I just choose not to wear them when I know you’re going to be ravishing me,” she purred, carding her fingers through his hair.

“Are you calling me a sure thing?”

“Do you really have to ask?” she laughed again. “As much as I love that accent of yours, I have other ideas for your mouth right now, Jones.”

“Do tell,” he growled. Biting down on his lip he waited for her to say or show him just what she wanted. Her breasts were bare before him, and he ached to love them, but instead busied his hands by running them strongly up and down her thighs.

Emma grabbed a fistful of Killian’s hair and guided him to her aching chest. He didn’t hesitate to take a mouthful, sucking hard, then laving his tongue across her nipple. Her moan of appreciation had his cock twitching involuntarily. Bringing his hand to her other breast he massaged her gently then pinched her hardened nipple tightly.

He hummed against her, sending a jolt of pleasure along her spine. Emma still had one hand gripped in his hair, and the other clawed at his shoulder desperately. She’d been so ready for him that he had her on the edge already and he hadn’t even so much as grazed her core. “Killian,” she breathed out. “Oh fuck, that feels so good!” She ripped his head away from her chest and up to her mouth once more to kiss him soundly.

“Why’d you stop me then?” he asked against her mouth.

Emma looked into his eyes after pulling out of the kiss. “I have a bed here, and I fully intend to use it tonight.”

Killian looked toward the bed, neatly made, covered in black and white. Looking back at Emma he picked her up once more and carried her over to the bed. He set her down gently in front of the bed then finished undressing her, which consisted of pulling the little leather number the rest of the way down her body. “Commando? You are naughty, Swan,” he playfully scolded her.

“I knew they’d be soaked before we ever left my place, so why bother?” Emma sat down at the edge of the bed, she leaned back on her hands so her chest pushed forward, and spread her legs for him to see the effect she had on him.

“Fuck, lass, I love it when you tell me your secrets.” Killian shrugged his waistcoat off and unbuttoned his shirt quickly, then tossed it aside. He stepped into the space between her legs and leaned down to kiss her. Grabbing her hands from the bed he brought them to his belt. “Undress me, Emma.”

Her eyes had been glued on the bulge in his pants as she’d made ready to strip him bare, but her eyes shot to his when she heard his gravelly command. She shivered at the dark look in his eyes. Emma did as he said, starting by unbuckling his belt. Next she set to work on the buttons of his black jeans, she teased a little as she popped each button in an excruciatingly slow fashion, making sure to graze his length repeatedly. When he was unfastened she fisted the waistband by his hips and yanked them down. Emma’s mouth watered at the sight of his cock jutting proudly against his pelvis. She wrapped her hand around him, and stroked him delicately, “What do you want, Killian?”

“I want your filthy little mouth, love.”

“Then tell me,” she repeated her words from their last tryst, “tell me exactly what you want me to do.”

Killian slid his hand along her cheek, then ran his thumb along her lower lip pulling it down slightly. “Suck my cock, Emma.”

She smiled mischievously and cocked her eyebrow as she licked her lips. She continued to pump him lightly while using her other hand to move his hand from her cheek into her hair. “Hold on,” she told him, then took him into her warm wet mouth.

Killian jumped a little as she closed her mouth around him and his breath caught deep in his throat. He tightened his fist in her hair instinctually, but refrained from plunging deep.

Emma set a leisurely pace, one hand at his base to help where she couldn’t reach just yet, and one caressing his balls. If this was eliciting the fuckhot noises she was getting off on, she couldn’t wait to hear him when she swallowed him whole. She removed her hands from him and slid them around to his ass squeezing his cheeks before pulling him roughly into her mouth.

“Fuck!” he hissed. Her mouth was incredibly warm and pliant, forming perfectly around him.

The grip he had in her hair was pleasurably painful and as she looked up at his face she saw his eyes squeezed shut. She paused in her ministrations waiting for him to open them and look at her. When he did just that she made sure to keep eye contact with him as she started in again. She pulled him in deeper on each pass until finally he hit the back of her throat; she swallowed around him, taking him into her throat, breathing raggedly through her nose.

“Emma, fucking hell, stop love,” he cried out desperately.

Emma immediately backed off, she knew he was ready to come, she also knew he didn’t want to just yet, so she obeyed. It was incredibly liberating to let Killian call the shots.

“Up, scoot up on the bed.”

Emma scooted up and laid down, waiting for him to tell her what was next.

Crawling next to her Killian laid down at her side. “That was very bad form Swan, trying to make me come before you have.”

“I know you’re good for it,” she giggled. Emma turned on her side to face him, “Seriously, I know you’ll never leave me wanting.” She reached between them to take him in hand again.

He grabbed her hand and pinned it above her head before she could grip his throbbing cock again. “That is not the point at all; ladies first is the point,” he whispered against her mouth before kissing her soundly. Killian captured her other hand and pinned it above her head with the other one. He held both of her hands with one of his and brought his free hand between her legs. He stroked her folds feeling her wetness coating every part of her. “For me?” he asked against her lips.

Emma nodded her head while looking into his deep blue eyes. “All for you, Killian, because of you.”

He growled his approval against her mouth as he continued to kiss her while he rubbed her wetness over her clit. “Spread your legs more,” he told her. As soon as she’d done as bid he surged two fingers into her entrance. Her breathy moans fueled him, and he set a fast pace.

“I love that sound,” Emma whispered.

“Which one, love?”

“The sound of skin against wet skin, the sound your fingers make as they fuck me. It’s the same sound when I’m alone, when I fuck my fingers thinking of you.”

Killian inhaled sharpy, “You’ll be the death of me yet if you continue to tell me these delightful secrets of yours.”

“It feels so much better when it’s you,” she panted as he continued, “so good.”

“I’m going to make you come like this Emma.”

“Yes, Killian,” she moaned desperately.

Killian sped up just that little bit more and deftly hooked his fingers inside her heat, causing her to see stars and cry out loudly. “Come, Emma,” he gritted out, “you are so bloody gorgeous when you come, show me.”

Her body tensed at his words, the perfectly navigated rhythm of his strokes, his thumb on her clit, his panting breath on her chest between kisses, and the restraint of her hands were the perfect combination, and she came hard. Feeling so blissfully out of control, this orgasm was like nothing she’d ever experienced. Her body convulsed and her clit felt like it was bursting with energy. She gasped for air as he continued to stroke her through it. “Fuck, Killian… that was…”

“I know love, there’s something to be said for relinquishing control every now and then,” he smirked.

“Don’t be cocky,” she playfully admonished.

Killian let go of her hands and smiled when she immediately wrapped them around his neck and pulled herself into him. Killian brushed her hair off of her forehead, and leaned in to kiss her softly.

Emma hummed at the deliciousness of his gentle kisses, it felt nice to be cared for after an earth shattering orgasm. She kissed him back intent on making him feel as good as she did.

“Emma?” Killian spoke her name softly then waited for her answer.

She looked at Killian, taking in his expression. It was the expression that made her wonder just how much he wanted from her. That question always led to her wondering just how much she wanted to give him… she couldn’t think of much she didn’t want to give him. She was going on a date with him, she’d allowed him in her home, and into her bed. These were all new frontiers for Emma Swan. “Yes?”

“May I…”

She waited patiently for him to continue. For all they’d seen of each other, and done to each other, she found it endearingly cute when he displayed little moments of nervousness. She nodded her head slightly, trying to silently let him know he could say anything to her.

“Oh shit! We have a reservation, what time is it?” he asked.

“What?” Emma asked at the sudden change. She looked down at him, still hard. “What about you? That’s not going to be comfortable through dinner.”

“I’ll live lass, I know you’re good for it,” he teased her with her words.

“Are you calling me a sure thing?” she followed suit, tossing out his words from earlier.

“Do you really have to ask?” he chuckled, cocking his eyebrow.

Emma pounced on him suddenly, propelling him onto his back. Smiling at him she kissed his mouth roughly then pulled back. “Let me take care of you baby, or I’m going to have a hard time concentrating on dinner.” Scooting down his body Emma had him in her mouth again and coming embarrassingly quickly.

“Fuck, Emma, that mouth is magical,” he panted trying to recover.

“I know,” she answered, grinning widely, “no mess. Come on,” she urged, pulling him by his hand to get up off the bed.

“Oi! Give a man a second to recoup after draining his life force, lass!”

Emma just giggled, then got up to get dressed. Despite her misgivings on relationships she was actually excited to sit down and get to know Killian.

Tagging some peeps who read part one or who might be interested: @like-waves-on-the-beach @hookedmom @xpumpkindumplingx @spartanguard @lifeinahole27 @hookaddict @hooklineandswan @ultraluckycatnd @xemmaloveskillianx @effulgentcolors @swanemma @galadriel26 @emmajones1019 @teamhook @flipperbrain @its-like-a-story-of-love @pirateherokillian @leatherjacketsandrum @thesschesthair @roseyflush @herhookedhero @marajade4s @onceintimesforgotten @villains-happy-ending @xxcaptainxxswanxx

Please let me know if you don’t like to or want to be tagged! Thanks for reading, your support means more than you know ♥

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fanfics #cs smut #cs au

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pi-cat000 · 8 years ago

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Harry Potter/Iron Blooded Orphans crossover

Summery: Harry takes on a contract to guard Kudelia Aina Bernstein

“I want you to guard my daughter, keep her safe, she is such a spirited thing…” the woman, Tomomi Bernstein, trailed off appearing uncertain. This was his third meeting with the aristocrat and he was now well accustomed to the way she disengaged with conversation, trailing off and staring into the middle distance. For a person who appeared to have everything the habit did not indicate a stela family life. Neither did secretly hiring a body guard for that matter.

Harry re-examined the ornately gold paperweight, sitting between them. Like many of the objects in Mrs. Bernstein’s office it gave off an impression of disuse.

“She is always getting herself into trouble,” Bernstein suddenly continued, “I fear for her…how she worries her farther,”

Harry smiled. Even in her slightly catatonic state Bernstein seamed to have great concern for her daughter. Whether it is was based in truth or falsehood was not his place to question.

“I assure you Ms. Bernstein I will do my up most to protect your daughter. I may look young but I make up for it in experience,” a few thousand years of experience. Even if on one knew that particular fact he made up for it with the best fabricated backstory money could buy.

“I do not doubt your skill,” Bernstein assured, pausing in hesitation “…but this contract…it is so very odd.”

She was referring to the blood contract she had laid out on her desk. It described a simplified set of terms.

‘In accordance with the Laws of Magic Harry James Potter and Tomomi Bernstein shall abide by the following agreement or so shall bring calamity to their personship and kin.

Harry James Potter will protect the life and wellbeing of Kudelia Aina Bernstein to the best of his abilities, at the risk of personal injury and death, till the midnight of her twenty-first year.

For this service received, Kudelia Aina Bernstein bequeaths three favors of Harry James Potter’s choosing to be carried out by the Bernstein line to the best of their abilities and in the manner of Harry James Potter’s choosing.’

Was it archaic? Yes…yes it was, but Harry had long discovered that there were many things money couldn’t buy. These sort of blood contracts lasted centuries so, while Harry gave up a decade of his life serving the Bernstein family, one day, centuries down the road, he could call upon a relation to help him in a crisis.

There was an art to living as long as he did.

Harry would, of course, be signing Bernstein’s more mundane terms of service which gave him a nice weekly pay and on-sight room and board. Unlike his rather simple contract this one was more fleshed out and detailed.

“I feel it makes everything more concrete,” Harry answered.

“These favors…” she trailed off, frowning at the paper scroll.

“I would not ask anything that would put you or your daughter in danger,” Harry assured. An easy promise to make as he did not expect to be calling on the favors within either of the Bernstein’s lifetimes. Also, he kind of liked the woman, despite her vacantness. Even if her coming across his name had been a complete accident she had shown a lot of nerve in seeking him out and asking for his services.

“Very well…I will have a maid bring us a pen.”

The office he was sitting in may look like something out of the twentieth century but behind the facade it contained only the most advanced technology. Everything was done electronically these days.

“No need,” he answered pulling out a blood quill.

Bernstein examined it with interest, “Oh how fun…very antique…but where is the ink.”

Her eyes grew a little less cloudy, taking on an interested spark. If his initial investigations were accurate Bernstein had majored in ancient earth history and was an avid collector off old earth antiques.

“It doesn’t require any,” he smiled, “Just sign your name here.”

Bernstein took the quill, holding it delicately. With a gentle flourish she signed her name in curved red writing.

She then startled, glancing at her hand, watching with something akin to fascination as her name was inscribed into her skin.

“Oh, that is particular,” Bernstein commented, examining the quickly healing cuts.

Harry took the quill and signed his own name before returning the writing implement to his bottomless pocket. A bright flash of gold and both their signatures sunk into the paper, acquiring a new shiny finish.

“You have very nice handwriting,” Bernstein remarked, “it is a rare hobby....”

Harry noted how she didn’t comment on the fact that the name he signed did not match the false one he was currently using.

“I’ve had a lot of practice.”

He examined the parchment, watching it shimmer before it split down the center into two identical copies. With a flourish, he picked up the nearest one, rolling it up in one smooth movement. Bernstein lent forward slowly, examining her own copy. A brief rush of warmth signaled the completion of the contract. Now the only way to break it would be for both parties to willfully destroy their copy.

“You do here tales of this sort of thing. Stories and the like…but to see it firsthand…” Bernstein carefully rolled her own contract with delicate fingers.

“Trust me when I say it’s very rare.” He waved away the observation.

Magic had all but died out in the last couple of centuries. The Age of Space Exploration and not been kind to wizarding communities. Mostly because magic and technology just didn’t get along. As technology had advanced past anyone’s wildest dreams the number of people who wanted to study magic dropped. A wizard’s magical core was something that expanded with time and use. If one refused early training, then one did not have to worry about shorting out phones and busting anything even remotely complex.

“Well, I suppose you will need to retrieve your belongings,” Mrs. Bernstein mused, gazing out at the blue sky.

“I won’t be long,” he assured. Even now he could feel the pull of the contract, imploring him to see to the safety of Kudelia Aina Bernstein.

Bernstein nodded, attention still on the artificial sky outside. He took that as a dismissal. Harry left the ornate study, startling a maid who gave him a rather alarmed look. He strolled casually out of the mansion and was the recipient of several more confused stares. Understandable, considering he had snuck in without permission.

#fanfiction #iron blooded orphans #crossover #gundam #Harry Potter #fanfic

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coconut2877-blog · 6 years ago

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9/18/19 standing ground

This week I focus on the historical context of physical modeling.

What has been done?

What are the similarities and differences among the three commonly used approaches?

To what extent are people modeling shapes and materials?

How are people simulating resonating bodies?

Am I sure about my own PDE (partial differential equations) formulations?

How to do sanity checks for the sounds I fabricated ?

My reference would be “Digital Sound Synthesis by Physical Modeling Using the Functional Transformation Method” by Lutz Trautman and Rudolf Rabenstein, and Dr. Julius O Smith’s online book “Physical Audio Signal Processing”. The former outlines theoretical proofs and applications of FTM, and the latter focuses on another method developed in CCRMA called DWG (Digital WaveGuide Networks).

How they used to do it

Classically physical modeling is done in roughly 4 ways - FDM (Finite difference method), DWG (Digital waveguide method), MS (model synthesis), and the relatively newer method FTM (functional transformation method), aka my approach(although not exactly as I discovered and would explain later). FDM and DWG are time-based synthesis while MS and FTM are frequency-based approaches. Both FDM and FTM relies on formal physical formulation, while MS and DWG start from analyzing existing recorded sounds. I will briefly describe all the approaches and then point out their limitations and possible combinations.

FDM

FDM starts from solving one or a set of partial differential equations with initial-boundary conditions that describe the given structure’s vibrational mechanism. Then it discretizes any existing temporal and spatial derivatives by Taylor expansion. This approach is straightforward, general, and works with most complex shapes, however tends to neglect higher-order terms. It is possible to improve its accuracy by using smaller discretization, although at the same time it would introduce heavy computations. It is often an offline method, not suitable to be implemented in real-time synthesis. The solution contains time-evolution of all the points on the object in question.

FTM

FTM shares the same formulation as FDM but solves the equations differently. It eliminates the temporal and spatial derivatives by carrying out two transformations consecutively - Laplace transformation and SLT (Sturm-Liouville transformation). Both transformations turn the entire equation to be expressed in terms of another domain parallel to time-space, from (t,x) to (s,mu). In the alternate domain, derivatives on t and x are transformed to simple-to-solve algebraic equations in terms of s and mu. Afterwards, the solution maybe written in the form of a transfer function multiplying the activation function (derived from whatever force is exerted on the object). This transfer function may be inverted back to time-space domain and a solution would be obtained. The transfer function has its poles and zeros, from which we derive analytical solutions for each frequency partials and their decay rates. This approach is frequency-based in that the final solution is a summation of sinusoidal waves of different modes, with their own decay exponential terms. It accurately simulates the partials resulting from the sounding object however reaches its limitation when it comes to larger modes. It is more computational-friendly than FDM, however limits itself into simpler geometries - most of the time rectangular and circular shapes.

DWG

DWG analyzes a recorded sound and simulate the exact sound with bidirectional delay lines(for simulating traveling waves in both directions), digital filters, and some nonlinear elements. The method is based on Karplus-Strong algorithm and the filter coefficients+impedence of traveling waves are interpolated from the sound. This method is the most efficient but cannot describe a parametrized model. All changes in physical parameters need to be recorded again and be re-interpolated.

MS considers objects as coupled systems of substructures and characterizes each substructure with their own mode/damping coefficient data. It then synthesizes sounds by summing all weighted modes. The modal data is usually obtained by measurements of the object itself rather than deriving from an analytical solution like FTM, and thus MS cannot react to parameter change in the physical model. Furthermore since no analytical solution is derived, MS requires measurements on discretized spatial points and the accuracy here is compromised.

So what do we wanna use

Based on the summary from Trautmann and Rabenstein’s book I extracted:

“

frequency-based method are generally better than time-based methods due to the frequency-based mechanisms in the human auditory system

for more complicated systems simulations of spatial parameter variations is much easier in the FDM than FTM since eigenvalues can only be calculated numerically in FTM.

FDM is the most general and the most complex synthesizing method. It can handle arbitrary shapes.

FTM is limited to simple spatial shapes like rectangular or circular membranes

DWG is even more limited than FTM or MS. It can only simulate systems accurately having low dispersion due to the use of low-order dispersions.

human ear seems to be more sensitive to the number of simulated partials than to inaccuracies in the partial frequencies and decay times

“

How my approach is slightly different from FTM

My approach is technically a FTM approach however with slight modifications. FTM first formulates the physical model, perform Laplace and SLT transform, get transfer function, and then derive the impulse response by inverting the transfer function back to time-space domain. My approach follows the same formulation, however only perform the Laplace transform. At this point I would assume the solution to be of sinusoidal form and calculate explicitly what the spatial derivatives are. Due to properties of sinusoidal form, even high order derivatives wouldn’t escape their original forms. After that, I derive the transfer function and would only perform inverse-laplace transform to obtain the impulse response, instead of performing inverse-laplace transform and inverse-SLT transform.

Whether this approach yields utterly different results, why would people go through the trouble of performing SLT spatial transformation, and whether it’s safe to assume the solution be of sinusoidal form is still under investigation.

What can be done

FTM+DWG

From FTM we can derive accurate modes and their decay rate coefficients, however it costs computational power to synthesize the actual sound (summation of multitudes of mode, calculation of exponentials, sine operations etc)

On the other hand from DWG we design filters based on pre-recorded sounds (not flexible to morph between different physical parameters), however very computationally-efficient to synthesize the sounds.

The book mentions a promising solution of combining the two methods - use accurate modes/decay rate information obtained from FTM to design filters and leave the sound synthesis business to DWG. Next week I will explore further on the combination of these two approaches.

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jobsearchtips02 · 5 years ago

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To Test or Not to Test: Business Owners Grapple With Covid Testing for Staff

Sara Polon pays about $800 a week to test 30 employees at her plant-based soup company for Covid-19. She holds her breath when the doctor calls with the results.

Ms. Polon and many small-business owners across the country are testing their workers to catch potential coronavirus outbreaks before they start, eager to keep their companies afloat as the U.S. economy and regions of the country reopen in varying stages. Small businesses, which typically have fewer financial reserves than large firms, are grappling with the logistics, costs and privacy implications of testing workers.

“There’s been a rubber band of stress around my head since March,” said Ms. Polon, the owner of Washington, D.C.-based Soupergirl, who began testing workers three weeks ago. A doctor reports to her storefront and commercial kitchen each week, swabbing the back of employees’ noses or throats one-by-one.

She gives each staffer an extra $200 per pay period not to work elsewhere because she wants to keep them out of environments with less-stringent safety and cleaning protocols. She also coordinates carpools so that all workers stay off public transit—with the windows down.

She isn’t sure how long insurance companies will continue to help offset the cost of testing but says she feels she is making life-or-death safety decisions that ripple through the families of her workers.

“We’re asking people to come to work. We have an obligation as business owners to keep our teams safe,” said Ms. Polon. So far, all members of her staff have tested negative.

Luis Sanchez, a delivery person for Soupergirl, got his nose swabbed for a Covid-19 test.

In South Holland, Ill., Ability Engineering Technology Inc. offered voluntary testing to its 35 employees as engineers and office staff returned to its facilities on June 1. Fewer than a third of the staff were interested for reasons ranging from fear of missing work if they tested positive to a view that testing and contact-tracing infringed on their rights, said Eugene Botsoe, president of the company, which does custom fabrications.

“I expected everyone to jump at the opportunity for a free test, but that’s not what happened,” Mr. Botsoe said. Ability Engineering remained open with fewer workers on site from mid-March through May. Mr. Botsoe said costs contributed to a decision against monthly testing.

While the federal government made funds available to small businesses through Paycheck Protection Program loans, most of those funds had to be used for specific purposes like payroll so they would be forgiven. That has meant testing and other safety precautions are an added financial burden at an already difficult time.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

Have you or someone you know been tested during reopening? Share your experience below.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention doesn’t dictate whether and how frequently employers should test workers for the virus, but it has published considerations for critical businesses like food processors that implement testing strategies. The CDC says such testing should only be implemented if it leads to actions like quarantining sick people and taking a risk-based approach to testing those who may have been exposed.

The agency advises businesses of all sizes to conduct daily health checks, implement social distancing practices and encourage employees to wear face masks.

Testing availability, which was severely constrained in the early days of the pandemic, still varies across the country. Carl Clark, chief executive of Mental Health Center of Denver, which provides mental help and substance-use disorder support, has been unable to secure testing for its 900 workers.

Ms. Polon pays about $800 a week to test employees for Covid-19.

In recent months, two staff members at residential treatment facilities have become ill, but the organization couldn’t get tests for colleagues who had been in close contact with them. “So then what do you do? Do you say to your staff ‘Go home because we don’t know if you’re positive or not?’” Mr. Clark said.

Managers sent home nurses or colleagues who had been in close contact with the infected people for two weeks.

Some business owners in areas of the U.S. with few cases say the costs and complexity of testing workers make it unappealing. Advocates say diagnostic tests, combined with other measures, can mitigate outbreaks and give workers comfort as they report to offices and factories.

“If we can combine testing with past medical history and risk factors and exposure risk, we can at least make a better decision of feeling secure than just a temperature” check, said Sakina Dinani, an internal medicine doctor who helps businesses test their workers for the virus.

As the coronavirus continues to spread around the globe, companies and academic labs are racing to develop a vaccine that would help society get back to normal. But there could also be costs to moving too quickly. WSJ’s Daniela Hernandez explains. Photo illustration: Laura Kammermann

At M&P Foreign Cars, a dealership with locations in New Jersey, Carol Allahyari and her husband, who is in his 70s, decided to test their employees before reopening for in-person sales in May.

Of the 14 workers who were tested, one was positive. The individual moves cars around the lot, including those Mrs. Allahyari and her husband test-drive home each night. They asked the worker to quarantine for 14 days without pay before returning to work.

“We do it not only for the employees but for my husband and my peace of mind,” Mrs. Allahyari said of testing, adding that the tests cost $70 per employee, with insurance covering the lab work.

Testing raises privacy issues for workers. At Soupergirl, most workers were receptive to weekly testing, but one person quit, concerned about contact tracing.

Ofelina Lopez prepared tomatoes for soup in Soupergirl’s kitchen.

French Gerleman Electric Co. in St. Louis hired Paladina Health LLC, a direct primary health-care firm, to help 235 workers check their symptoms as they gradually return to six facilities. Some had been working from home while others continued to work in warehouses or as drivers.

“We’re really good at logistics in getting products and services to our customers, but we’re not medical people,” said Mike Stanfill, president of French Gerleman.

Chris Miller, chief executive of Paladina, said the company helps employers conduct assessments of their workers’ health and risks of complications from coronavirus based on factors such as age, weight, medications and tobacco use.

“They won’t know the specific individuals, but we can give them an idea of how many individuals they have that are high risk,” he said.

Paladina and dozens of other companies have created symptom-checking apps and surveys that employees use to verify they don’t have a temperature and haven’t been in contact with anyone who has tested positive for Covid-19.

Some French Gerleman employees, based on those checks and potential exposure to a sick person, have been tested though no employees have tested positive so far. The family-owned distributor has stopped short of widespread testing, however.

Write to Sarah Krouse at [email protected]

from Job Search Tips https://jobsearchtips.net/to-test-or-not-to-test-business-owners-grapple-with-covid-testing-for-staff/

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jobswzayef · 5 years ago

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Senior Document Controller

Ready to put your skills to work on Technical or Engineering projects? Are you great with people and have willingness to work hard to get the job done? Parsons is seeking a candidate with a desire to enhance the fabric of our community. Role < strong> Under minimal supervision performs a variety of document control functions for a project or department. Plans organizes and implements systems for efficient document processing of all communications supplier documents design documents construction documents or other internal or external documents. Coordinates the flow of documents between project operations engineering disciplines construction team or other department groups. Incumbent is typically responsible for a small to medium sized project. Will have knowledge of both the work processes of document control and also the use of electronic systems used to manage documentation. Responsibilities < strong> Implements document data management solutions with a primary focus on document control and records management. Administers data document management applications. Processes one or more document types through all procedural steps in accordance with well defined procedures and guidelines. Ensures that pre established document control requirements e.g. which document numbering system will be used how many and which signatures will be required for certain approvals etc. are satisfactorily met throughout the duration of the project. Receives tracks and monitors documents using standard document management programs to register documents maintain databases and produces logs transmittals and other reports as required. Enters data and produces reports using other standard office automation or department specific computer applications. Initiates and replies to routine correspondence related to area of responsibility. Keeps abreast of department technologies techniques and services relevant to area of responsibility. Works with other staff members as needed to develop and improve services. Responds to changing technology environment and participates in decision making activities relating to customers’ needs. Provides assistance to users in capturing and locating electronic information. Maintains an established data distribution system and schedule for the assigned project based upon client project department and supplier requirements. May revise system or schedule as required to ensure timely approvals and distribution. Expedites review signature approval and release of supplier and internally produced documents. Verifies retention requirements arranges document cataloging packing and long term storage or disposal of appropriate documents at time of closeout. Manages scheduled destruction of archived documents according to company and or Client guidelines provides assistance with document retrieval. Assists junior document control staff to ensure effective implementation of project specific procedures. Serves as liaison between support group home office and field personnel. Interfaces with groups inside and outside the organization. Delegates and directs the work activities of project document control team. Performs other duties commensurate with functional level and responsibilities. Contributes as a team player who is deadline driven and works well with others. Performs other responsibilities associated with this position as may be appropriate. Qualifications < strong> High school diploma or equivalent and typically 8 years of relevant work experience including 3 years of prior document control experience . Proficiency in MS Office with expertise in Microsoft Word PowerPoint and Excel. Assignments will require a working knowledge of Electronic Document Management Systems. Good written and oral communication organizational and interpersonal skills as well as a demonstrated ability to interact effectively with project personnel and management. Ready for action? We’re looking for the kind of people who see this opportunity and don’t hesitate to act. Parsons is a leader in the world of Technical Services and Engineering. We hire people with a broad set of technical skills who have proven experience tackling some of the greatest challenges. Take your next step and apply today.< div>< div> * راتب مجزي جداً. * مكافأت و حوافز متنوعة. * توفير سكن مؤثث أو بدل سكن. * أنتقالات أو توفير بدل عنها. * توفير تذاكر السفر لمن يشغل الوظيفة و عائلته. * نسبة من الأرباح الربع سنوية. * أجازات سنوية مدفوعة الراتب بالكامل. * مسار وظيفي واضح للترقيات. * بيئة عمل محفزة و مناسبة لحالة الموظف. * تأمين طبي للموظيف و عائلته. * تأمينات أجتماعية. التقدم و التواصل مباشرة دون و سطاء عند توافر الألتزام و الجدية التامة و المؤهلات المطلوبة علي: [email protected]

#وظيفة #وظائف_شاغرة #وظائف_خالية #وظائف_كوم #وظيفة_كوم #السعودية #الكويت #الأمارات #عمان #ا

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mastcomm · 5 years ago

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France’s Unofficial Minister for Fashion Isn’t Afraid of a Redesign

In France, where fashion is considered part of the patrimony and first ladies have been front-row regulars (and supermodels), the government has long treated the industry with kid gloves. Then, in 2017, Brune Poirson arrived.

“In the beginning, everybody thought I was crazy,” said Ms. Poirson, who is officially one of three secretaries of state to the minister for the ecological and inclusive transition and, unofficially, France’s de facto minister for fashion.

Both a champion of the industry and its rare critic, Ms. Poirson, 37, is playing a role in negotiations regarding President Trump’s threats to impose tariffs on handbags and other luxury goods, also known as the “handbag war.” Last year, she also spearheaded wide-ranging legislation that included banning brands from destroying an estimated 630 million euros (or $700 million) of unsold goods annually, a common practice in the industry. Prime Minister Édouard Philippe has said France would be the first to formally adopt this measure.

“When you’re a young woman in government — or in general, in life — and you decide to tackle a topic like fashion, everybody goes after you,” she said in an interview. “It’s almost the end of your reputation. If I were really a politician, I would have taken nuclear energy or something. But I think there is more to do in the field of fashion. I know we need to do something about it.”

It is, after all, France’s second-most profitable sector, worth an estimated €150 billion. (The first is aeronautics.)

And Ms. Poirson isn’t your typical French politician.

“Brune Poirson has a very important mission for the government and for France,” said Pascal Morand, executive president of the Fédération de la Haute Couture et de la Mode, the industry organization for French fashion. “She considers that fashion is essential and should be exemplary, and she brings conviction and determination to promoting the circular economy.”

Seated before a coffee table in a corner of a grand but sparsely furnished ministry office on the boulevard St.-Germain, early in the evening of yet another long day of transport strikes, Ms. Poirson made no secret of her impatience with a sclerotic French system of government and business, or the way things have functioned for years (and even centuries).

“We need to change the way we work,” she said in polished English. “In politics, what’s terrible is that things take time not because it’s difficult, but because people are unwilling to change things for petty reasons. It looks good on TV for a week if you can say you implemented something 10 years after it was planned. It’s completely depressing. So sometimes, if you want to change things, you can’t rely too much on politics.”

Her press officer, seated nearby, squirmed and reached for his smartphone; she burst out laughing. “He’s dying,” she said. “But it’s true.”

She is also nothing if not outspoken. A video shot on the Senate floor in November 2018 captures for posterity her lightning takedown of an older, male colleague. Gérard Longuet, a conservative senator, had addressed her with a patronizing “ma chère amie,” or “dear friend.”

“Call me Madame la Ministre,” she shot back, coolly raising her tone as hoots from other senators echoed in the background.

Ms. Poirson’s clothing style is likewise to the point: She favors minimalism, with the occasional whimsical earring. “I have to be super-simple because that’s who I am,” she said. “No prints, because you get bored and then you want to buy more, and I try to wear exclusively nonsynthetic materials because of all the micro plastics, unless it’s second hand, and clothes that are only made of one fabric.”

In the three years since her appointment, she has championed France’s embrace of a more circular economy, and drafted the zero-waste law that is moving through the legislative system and is expected to be signed by President Emmanuel Macron. In addition to banning incineration of unsold products, the law phases out all use of disposable plastics beginning January 2021; bans microplastics in cosmetics; and makes filters mandatory on industrial washing machines.

Ms. Poirson worked with François-Henri Pinault, chief executive of the luxury group Kering, to shape details of the “Fashion Pact,” an industry initiative that seeks to curtail its environmental impact. The document was signed by 56 companies — though not by LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton, the French luxury conglomerate that owns 75 brands — and was presented at the Group of 7 meeting in Biarritz, France, in August.

The pact is not legally binding and was decried by critics as toothless because it lets signatories pick and choose guidelines rather than setting goals, and sidestepped the problem of overconsumption. “Well, it’s the French way of approaching things,” Ms. Poirson said, with the faintest hint of exasperation.

Ms. Poirson has no truck with some luxury brands’ argument that they represent only a tiny fraction of the fashion sector. “That’s like France pointing the finger at China as the bigger polluter,” she said. “I refuse to hear that argument. Everyone should work to maximum capacities to find a solution to climate change. ”She was born in 1982 in Washington, D.C. to French parents — her father worked for the World Bank; her mother restored paintings — and the family returned to France before she could walk. She and her two younger brothers grew up in Apt, in the Vaucluse, part of the then-grittier, pre-Peter Mayle Luberon region in Provence.

She knew from childhood that she wanted to work in the public sphere. But, unlike most French politicians, Ms. Poirson is not an énarque, as graduates of the École Nationale d’Administration, the primary vivarium for French political life, are known.

“I wanted to do the exact opposite of E.N.A. It was a project,” she said. “My roots are really strong. I know exactly where I’m from. It gives you a lot of strength to go anywhere else, anywhere in the world. And I went with the intention of coming back, always.”

That path led to the London School of Economics; Laos — where she spent a year working on education, particularly of young girls, among the Hmong ethnic minority; and, by 2008, New Delhi, where she worked in the public and private sectors, for the Indian cabinet minister Satyan Pitroda and the French company Veolia.

In 2016, she studied political science and sustainability at the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University, but the combination of the American and French presidential campaigns, Brexit and new motherhood brought her back to France to run for office.

“People often say that when you have a family, you just want to protect them,” she said. “For me, it was the opposite, in a way. I had a daughter, so I had to work twice as hard.”

She ran for local office in the Vaucluse area and used a grass roots campaign to beat the far-right candidate Marion Maréchal Le Pen (niece of Marine Le Pen, leader of the National Front and Mr. Macron’s former opponent). Within 48 hours, Mr. Philippe, the prime minister, invited her to join the government.

Ms. Poirson said her next steps are “not necessarily legislation, but keeping the fight on sustainable fashion.” She said she would like to establish a fund for innovative fashion brands working to change the production system, though has few specifics.

Her position on handbags getting swept up in a possible trade war? “Getting into logistics of commercial sanctions will only create losers,” she said. “Commercial conflicts are just a source of uncertainty and weigh down global growth.”

And she wants to revive sectors like France’s lace industry now hanging by a thread.

“I want to go back to the areas in France with a strong textile history and see how we can actually return to local production,” she said. “I believe in path dependency — when a place is good at one thing, I think you can really rebuild on that.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/event/frances-unofficial-minister-for-fashion-isnt-afraid-of-a-redesign/

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