#I AM A DISASTER

[chronicbeans]

My Hazbin pookies be like

Cannibal deer man who is obsessed with radio.

Literally the Devil

A depressed, alcoholic furry.

And the world's first frat boy.

Yes, my mother is confused. I'm more confused than her, though. Like how tf did I fall for ADAM-

[savagewildnerness]

At some point I am going to write more fully about this scene. But, for now I just want to articulate that this moment, right here is both exquisitely beautiful & simultaneously is my personal problem with S1E5 The Drop.

Lestat is a monstrous vampire, capable of extreme violence and intentional evil. He often tries to kill the evildoer, but he enjoys killing good people too - he enjoys taking life, in love. And when he is threatened, he can lash out. He can even hurt those he loves, though he feels deep shame afterwards.

But Louis... Louis. Lestat would die before he watched Louis die. It's important because it's part of the tension in the books: from the moment he first sees Louis, Lestat would die before he watched Louis die and he would die if Louis died. He would die to save Louis.

But Louis, in the first few books...

He stands by, passively and lets Claudia murder Lestat

He burns Lestat, impulsively, in fear

He leaves Lestat to rot in a swamp

He doesn't stop to listen to what Lestat needs to explain at the trial (Absolutely understandable, this one)

He visits Lestat (this meeting) when he is in such a broken place that Louis perceives it as Lestat suffering a slow, mortal-esque death, akin to old-age. Lestat begs Louis to stay and help him, and though Louis is moved, he leaves him and as he leaves him he lets us know that he thinks Lestat may never go outside again and may die and he may never see him ever again.

When Lestat becomes a human and begs Louis to turn him back into a vampire, Louis refuses - implying he absolutely never would do that, even if it meant watching Lestat die.

The whole tension, as I see it, between Lestat and Louis is centred around the fact that even if Lestat isn't sure how much Louis loves him, and Louis himself at first isn't sure... we, the readers can feel Louis loves Lestat, as Lestat loves Louis.

But, through the first few books, Louis would not sacrifice himself for Lestat as Lestat would for him. In fact he would actively think Lestat was going to die and would not do any thing to try to prevent it. This creates a tension as gradually we the reader and Louis himself begin to feel and Louis begins to know and show the depth of his love for Lestat too.

The Drop occurring (and I 100% believe it did occur on the show now) negates this aching emotion.

I am glad, though, that this scene, in S2E8 conveys this feeling from Lestat towards Louis now though. Lestat could not cope with Louis hurting himself. He could not bear it. No matter how far away he was, he would hold himself accountable for not protecting Louis. He holds himself even more accountable because Lestat knows how dangerous Armand is, of course.

This isn't articulated well, but I'm just reflecting on it and I guess I'm trying to work out my complicated feelings.

Incidentally, I am not saying that Louis ever loves Lestat less than Lestat loves Louis. I think Louis takes longer to know his own love and also it does grow gradually... but a lot of Louis' inaction and stance isn't from a lack of love towards Lestat. Rather it's from a combination of his own personality - Louis has a tendency towards actively desiring his own non-existence so it's sort of like he'd never take that chance away from anyone else. And in some of the above cases, Lestat has wronged him, or Louis thinks he has.

Lestat is an endurer... although he does seek to end himself as often as Louis, if not more often, he dwells less in the imagining of it and appears, at least as much as he shares it to either suddenly leap into it, or to fall into it through a deep depression.

It isn't that they don't have the same leanings, just their timescales and the way they get there are different.

But Lestat would never put Louis in (im)mortal danger: not even in his greatest rage. I cannot believe it. Though, on the TV show, I believe he did it. But book-Lestat would never.

[ihavebadtasteinmen]

[ironmischeifgoddess]

I had an insane little thought in my insane little brain and needed to share it so I can get it out cause I have been giggling about it on and off for about 30 minutes despite it not being funny. So here it goes.

Chiron is homophobic but like… in the literal sense of the word. He is legitimately afraid of gay people, particularly gay men. Why? Well after watching Achilles and Patroclus defy gods and almost defy fate itself and tear down a city before it was time to for each other, wouldn’t you be a little scared of homosexuals???

I think I saw a post about Chiron being afraid of gay people because of those two once and it didn’t click until now that the legitimate fear of gay people would likely be called homophobia and it made me giggle.

[crazypsychonerdstuff]

I know some people will argue that you shouldn't have favourites, but there's something about these two... probably because they're lanky noodles? Idk. But Vessel and iii... 😍

[zedechemist]

— CHEMICAL EQUILIBRIUM.

a compendium of songs that stirred zahi headcanons + vibes.

Side A. CHEMICAL.

TRACK 1: moondust, jaymes young TRACK 2: assassin, au/ra TRACK 3: supermassive black hole, muse.

Side B. EQUILIBRIUM.

TRACK 4: beautiful crime, tamer TRACK 5: nocturnal waltz, johannes bornlöf TRACK 6: death stranding, chvrches

Bonus.

TRACK 7: starman, david bowie

+ extras.

@astrorahi

[recovery-nuovame]

I'm desperate, broken... and I just want to cry.

[queerbug05]

I did not spend the entire first season being like “Jackson likes men”, “that is not a straight man”, “there is way too much tension between him and the other male leads to be straight”, every time he was on screen for me to watch Werewolves in London Season 6 episode 17 and have him be dating Ethan.

This is such a stupid thing to be excited about but the amount of joy them being together gave me is absurd, I literally had to get up giggle about it and walk around.

In summary, I’m a disaster and I think they’re perfect for eachother.

[littlefoxgirlhere]

sometimes I just wish to be enough

[an-ungraceful-swan]

Internally screaming

[bnesszai]

Hello! Can you please link the prompt x ship ask game? I can't find it anywhere :')

uhhhh there are so many. Are you looking for the one with the quotes specifically?

I am Terrible at tagging posts but i might be able to find it on one of the prompts i fulfilled, but again....I've done like 5 different ones in the past 2 weeks or so, so I'm not sure which you're looking for

[thefirstcourtesan]

Advantages to living in a small-town, when you lose your wallet, someone finds it and messages you immediately.

This has now happened to me twice in two months.

[magalidragon]

Coming Soon…..

Twinning Parts 1 & 2

[otherearthsoutthere]

Found a great chocolate cake recipe online.

Happy birthday, honey.

[violetsiren90]

LOL VIOLET HORSE VIBES ILY

😂😂😂 I HAVE NO CLUE OKAY??? I'M A LIBRA.

I feel like a pretty legit reaction to a horse is like, "Aw, cute, nice...wait, woah dude...what the fuck...okay, this creature is UNSTABLE."

do not perceive the pun