#I COULDVE JUST NOT STUDIED GO DIE ACTUALLY | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-lunaberg · 2 years

Text

Yeah just to clarify, Im qatching the no way home vod now I'll probably make this a seperate post for the sake of keeping shit more organized

Oh they are in prison my hearst beating so fast rn

Oh dear god technical difficulties

Bruh did they drag them to jail with fishing rods thats fucked

Oughhhh the fucking armor thing aaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay the real question is, does Dream want Tommy to die or does he still wanna keep him alive n shit

I knowww wI definitely need another break but its already noon and I just gotta power through this shit man

NOOOOOO ERYNS ARMOUR.........

"You broke in and killed me in my owm house" idk why but thats so funny to me. dreams house, The Prison

Dream smp got me rockin back and forth dude

Bro did Tommy keep DreamXDs bell from the cell really

Okay Tommys keeping his weapons, some pearls and his totems thats good

Ah nvm

NO WAIT THE DISCS ARE IN THE ENDERCHEST

NOOOOO

Oh this is so painful to watch man i feel like im gonna die

Oughhhhh the discs.. ...... even aftrr all this time

At this rate its gonna take me like 10 hours to watch this hour long stream man

Okay he kept cat and mellohi

OHHHHHH WHAZ THE FUCK WHAT THE FUKC

Bro look att them just watch. sickos

Oh yeah baey its monologuin time

What if its just the snake monologue. like word for word

Maybe thats just me but "I dont have anything to say to you" from Tommy followed by a long ass pause and then "I have a lot to say to you" from Drea has the same kinda vibes as "I dont think about you at all" from Wilburs fanfic

"I hadnt bothered you for months!! I just left you with lifelong trauma!!"

"Bro, I was too busy trying to ruin the lives of these other guys to even try gaslighting you again!!"

Im trying to discern if Dream actually believes the bullshit hes saying or if this is another manipulation attempt rn this is so fascinating

Oh boy philosophical discussion about death time

Ok nvm i think

Cmon white boi tell me about the meaning of life

Dream is basically like "oh why does this stupid shit matter so much to you when theres immortality and life after death" and its like okay, but why would you wanna live forever if you cant even enjoy yourself though. Like, what are you doing this for if not so you can go hang out with your friends in peace and have fun forever

Bro Dreams actually the kinda guy who goes "well, why shouldnt i be god" without a hint of irony

Dream is about to actually lose it man

Why are they all talking about death as though they have absolutely no idea what happens after you die permanently? Like, both Wilbur and Ghostbur talked about what limbo was like to anyone who listened and Dream was literally JUST dead. Like yeah, it was only for a few minutes but if the conversion is 1 day on the smp = 1 month in limbo then he mustve spent atleast a few hours if not days there right

What are Punz' opinions about all this does he want his boytoy to be god. is he familiar with the god that looks exactly like his boytoy

"while you were recovering from the lifelong trauma i gave you I was studying the meaning of life"

I spent the entire day yesterday just watching musical bootlegs on youtube and all i can think of rn is that part in Twisted where Aladdin is like "im gonna break the chain! youll see!! Im gonna live forever!!!"

Imagine pouring your fucking heart out about what you think ks the meaning of life to two teens that you kidnapped and one of them just goes "what kinda life is that" i would start crying

"We want a life without mystery" where is your fucking whimsy bro

You know, if Sam wasnt basically responsible for Dream being tortured and Dream didnt break him down as revenge, the two of them and Punz couldve been a real death defying power trio. And then i guess Tommy, Tubbo n Philza would be the death defyer-defying power trio

what do you MEAN not contribute anything by just walking around on the dream smp??? HOW is the Dream SMP connected to any other place??? HOW IS IT CONNECTED TO FUCKING UTAH

"We need to be alive together to find out what life is" youre never gonna know if you dont die though. Especially because like, theres no such thing as heaven in this world, its life and then you die and then its hell for eternity so you gotta make life heaven but the only way to truly appreviate and comprehend that the life youve made is heaven is to think about it in hell, if Im making sense here

I would love to watch these guys try to have this discussion with Philza that would be soooo interesting

HE CALLED HIM A BUG AGAINNNNNN

the victim complex is strong in this one

Ohhhhhh the bois are fightinggggggggg

Hey, is Dream gonna address that fact that the actual capital g god of this world looks exactly like him any time soon. because that seems relevant

Oh my god this kind of dehumanization of the people around him is so painfully relatable it hurts im in pain

Bro how is he bringing up Ranboo right after bringing up Foolish but not yknow, DREAMXD

Okay Im gonna b real with yall, Ive been having a pretty good time with this vod and this finale so far but now hes bringing up mind control and the stuff with Ranboo and Im not a fun uh uh absolutely not

Alright so, they revealed that the revival book can do mind control as well, ive read spoilers about this and i was desperatrly hoping that I just misunderstood but sighhhhhhhh, no.

This is so fucking stupid man. The revival book was a really good concept because of how simple yet effective it is and how scary it would be for someone like Dream to have it, it doesnt need any more powers or whatever. Obviously the stuff with Ranboo being controlled by Dream to some extend has been planned for a really long time, and it does make sense, but they shouldve gone about it way differently. My fix is simple: bring DreamXD into this.

Like, right now it doesnt seem like Dream and DreamXD are connected in any meaningful way when Dream couldve been like, idk a worshipper of DreamXD who eventually earned his favor, or just a human that DreamXD thought was interesting and wanted to help occasionally so he'll keep entertaining him. Maybe he gets the revival book and immediately tries to test it out and then DreamXD appears and hes basically like "okay, i wont kill anyone for you or destroy anything or get too involved in all your petty mortal squabbles, but if you call for me I'll help you out bc Im so nice XD dont rely too much on me tho or else I'll kill you XD" and Dream is like "k i'll keep that in mind" and then when Ranboo shows up he calls for him like "okay, can you make me like, a mindlink to the new guy so I can control him" and XD is like "okay, sure, I wont help you anymore though" and Dream agrees and thats that. Maybe DreamXD is even like "Im still rooting for you though XD" and then Dream could bring up the fact that god is on his side during this unhinged monologue

Okay, when hes saying 'other dimension' is he talking about limbo or is it like, the real world that has the Utah that Wilbur went to and everything

Ohhhhhhh hes talking about the End uh yeah, no way man DreamXD is gonna put a stop to your foolishness so quickly if you try to go there

HE WAS IN LIMBO BEFORE???

Okay, the fact that both of them have been to limbo really takes a certain edge away from their motivations though

Like, if they hadnt known what death was like and just feared it because it was the End of Everything that wouldve been so interesting and then Dream died and came back to tell Punz about it and how its nothing but suffering that wouldve made it feel a lot more human if that makes sense because sure, i just spent a bunch of time poetically philosophically whinging but at the end of the day I wouldnt wanna die just to spent eternity in a hell made specifically for me yknow

I slept 8 hours today so Im perfectly well rested as Im writing this but honestly, at this point I'd rather be sleep deprived and delirious itd make this go by way faster and make it more fun too

Oh my god please tell me its not gonna get meta

They were in the End?!??!? Bro are they gonna bring up DreamXD anytime soon

Im serious how are they not gonna bring up DreamXD cc!Dream knows the lore around him because he PLAYED HIM

Okay so I guess theyre just gonna sacrifice people to make up for them reviving each other over and over? Idk man this is barely comprehensible I feel like i might as well be delirious the only differenfe is im not having nearly as much fun rn

what do you MEAN "whatever god is" YOU SAW HIM WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES. HE GAVE YOU A BELL

I realize that Dream is like, a villain and also clearly mentally ill so Im not expecting his plan or his worldview to make any actual sense but this just seems pointless. Like, if you revive too many people or if you revive yourselves too many times it could bring about the end of the world, presumably bc ya boi XD needs souls to eat. So you need to kill people to balance shit out but if you kill people, its gonna paint a massive target on your back and people will want to force you to revive people. So, you really cant revive people then right

Oh good god what now

Not the guy who was in limbo for maybe a day trying to lecture the guy who qas in limbo for like three months 💀💀💀

If it wasnt for the fact that these guys just hit me with like three massive disappointments all in a row I'd say something like "oh i forgot about this but yeah, I am kinda curious as to why Tommy never came back as a ghost, like even Schlatt was there for a day atleast" but my spirit has been crushed and so all im hoping for is that the explaination isnt too stupid

"We know the responsibility that comes with the revival book! Thats why we kept reviving people even after we knew it was slowly destroying the world!!" Its giving oil companies talking abt climate change yknow what i mean

"The worlds fucked up, we fucked up" BRO. STOP FUCKING REVIVING PEOPLE IT CANT BE THAT HARD

Okay, the stuff about limbo changing based on the circumstances of your death is pretty interesting hopefully they wont fuck it up

Ohhhhh I think I can see where this is going one of these guys is gonna have to die for their buddy isnt he

Okay, im at 27:51 in the vod Ive been at this for atleast two hours Im gonna go take a walk again

Alrighty then time to watch these bozos torment these boys

Bro the dehumanization right off the bat man

Ah so this is that Drunz Sandwich Date ive heard so much about

"You can warn the others about their inevitable doom that is... inevitable" he has such a way with words man

Something something the definition of insanity

Okay but Dream cant be all high and mighty about Tommy and Tubbo doing the same shit over and over because he literally does the exact same thing

Aarhghggh pain and suffering

cc!Tommy just left thats hilarious

Noooooooo Tubbos still in rp mode this is so funny man

Theyre both about to die with the lergy 😭

OHHHHHHH HE STILL HAS THE DISCS HE CAN USE THOSE HOLY SHIT FUCKING SET UP AND PAYOFF BABEYYYYY

ARGRHFHRGFGFREFSHUPEGUSGHI ONE DISC GONE 8NENDISCS GONE

Okay now what. both of the discs are gone now and they didnt hit the pressure plate. I dont think that was planned.

Oh I cant believe this this is so awkward man

NO HE FAILED AGAIN BRUHHHHH

Oh man

Okay theyre just carrying on time to jump through the hole

TUBBOS DEAD???

okay i dont think that was planned either lmao why did they think this was a good idea to do on stream

HES BLOWING SHIT UP????

👁👁 project dreamcatcher??

Right now the thing is, ive read spoilers so i roughly know how all of this is gonna end, I just dont know how we're getting from this exact point to that ending yknow what i mean

Theyre gonna nuke them arent they

NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM

This is so upsetting man

TUBBO WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE THE NUKE??? i mean, atleast they remembered that plotpoint

YEAHHHHHHH SEND THOSE BASTARDS TO HELL BABEYYYYYYY

Ohhhhh Tommys gonna use himself as bait

The only way to destroy gods is to nuke them

THEY DONT HAVE A SCHEDULE, THEYRE GODS

Dude, the Dream SMP as a post post apocalyptic world though

Lets fucking nuke that sonofabitch!!

NUKE TIMEEEEEEEEE

the bench,,......

Okay so theyre gonna kill Dream and Punz and then everyone will be free from them and the revival book but like, what about their ghosts though. I mean, those presumably wont be able to revive anyone but they could still like, harass everyone n shit

Okay but why would no one believe them about Punz being evil now, doesnt he have a reputation for doing whatever for a paycheck and Dream is like, one of the richest guys on the server

Oughhhh watching Tommy tell Tubbo to tell everyone their stories is so painful when you know its all gonna become lost history at some point

Theres no music..........

Okay Im not gonna watch this again from Tubbos pov

#livebloggin dsmp #long post #c!dream #c!tommy #c!punz

1 note · View note

emperornero · 3 years

Note

Hey, I was just reading your post about Nero and I’m not attacking you at all. I respect your thoughts on him and I also think there’s so much propaganda but honestly most of the things about Agrippina the younger was also propaganda. Women were slandered so easily back then. Agrippina managed to gain so much power, that male historians hated it and wrote her as a cruel person. She didn’t so anything with Nero, those are cruel rumours made against her. I’m currently studying classics and tbh, it’s all bs the they write about Agrippina because sadly they hated seeing women in power. Nero murdered his mother because he believed she was getting too powerful, and he was scared she was gonna plot against him, ( which wasn’t proven). All I’m saying is Agrippina is slandered way too much when all she was doing was getting power since she wanted to stay at the top, she knew if she fell from power she would die. She watched her mom and dad, and two elder brothers both get murdered. So obviously she doesn’t want anytime to rule over her since she didn’t want to get killed. I’m sorry if I sound rude, I’m not trying to attack you at all, I just hate how women are slandered so easily

i understand your perspective. we can never be sure if the things we currebtly know about historical figures who lived 2000 years ago are true or just simply lies made up to slander them.

i know how roman women didnt have the same priviledges and political power as men did, and its sad to know that when some of them did actually have influence over politics they would get insulted and lied about. being a women in the ancient times was hard, especially in patriarchal rome.

i feel bad for the things that happened both to agrippina and nero. she had a hard life and once she was able to return to rome she finally wanted to gain some control over her life. become someone important. and she succeded by making nero the next emperor. she was smart, the whole plan that made this possible was very complicated and she was still able to do it. first marrying claudius, then making nero officially his adopted son, making nero legally an adult at a younger age to make sure he would be the first option to pick from in case of claudius' death, forcing him to marry octavia in order to secure his political position, and then if we were to believe the rumors - poisoning claudius and finally letting her son become the emperor. of course claudius couldve just. died. you know he was old and had health problems. but the idea of agrippina poisoning him became a well known idea.

at the same time i feel so bad for nero who had to go through this. during his early childhood he didnt even know what does his mother look like since she was exiled. his father died when he was like 1 year old. he lived with his aunt. and later agrippina came back, and used him in order to gain political power. he was a tool. everything that had happened during the period from being adopted by claudius to becoming emperor - he was still a minor. a child. a teenager. forced to first become an "adult", later the emperor of rome. i know during the early years of his reign it was mostly agrippina burrus and seneca who took care of politics since nero was too young, but that must have been still a lot for him to handle. i am currently 16 and i couldnt imagine being a political figure, left alone the emperor of such a big empire. it would be so scary. nero had interests too. he wasnt just a dumb kid for agrippina to use. he wanted to become an artist. but because of his mother's ambitions he had to obey her and didnt pursue his dreams until agrippina was dead.

sorry if this sounds weird just doesnt make sense to some of you. just my thoughts about these historical figures. im not gonna go through this again and correct grammar mistakes so if you see any just ignore them, i might come back to this post later

#asks #long post #nero

8 notes · View notes

astroninaaa · 3 years

Note

THAT LINE MAKES ME THINK OF TOMMY TOO ITS SO BAD. simultaneously comforting tommy reassuring him etc etc and immediately going on to blame himself. "i am the worst mistake that god has ever made" hits so hard like its absolutely more an hc than canon but. tubbo thinking maybe if he'd been a better spy wilbur would still be alive and okay, or a better right hand man schlatt wouldnt have executed him, a better friend and he wouldnt have exiled tommy, a better president and dream never wouldve taken advantage of him and used him so easily and new lmanburg wouldnt have fallen so far. if he hadnt resorted to the butcher army he couldve saved tommy before he found that pillar, if he were just a better fighter or leader or anything doomsday wouldnt have happened. everyone around him calling him a dictator or an awful friend or a pawn or an idiot awful president useless etc etc like. moonsickness for c!tubbo makes me lose my entire mind

YOU HAVE ENABLED ME. YOU HAVE ENABLED ME. I WILL NOW ANALYSE THE ENTIRETY OF MOONSICKNESS BY PENELOPE SCOTT UNDER A C!TUBBO CHARACTER STUDY. IT WILL GO UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE IT WILL BE VERY LONG.

got all the lyrics from genius! the song is moonsickness, by penelope scott, as said above.

/rp /dsmp

There's so much to do I'll never have the wherewithal to do it all again Or fucking do it all at all

Manburg Era Tubbo. He was working for Pogtopia on top of all of his Secretary work in Manburg, and it was just too much. He felt like he wasn't good enough for either, and both were exhausting in ways he didn't think he'd ever feel exhausted again.

I love you so much, I don't wanna go but Everybody knows this place is dying, as am I I might not get another chance It's such a careful dance and I am such a fuck up If you only knew that I am such a fuck up

Manburg seemed to rot under Schlatt's rule. Burning down forests, killing animals, taking down colorful, beautiful buildings. Tubbo felt the weight of saving it on his back, being a spy and the only one left that really cared about L'Manburg or what it used to be that wasn't exiled (he didn't know Fundy was a spy, too). He failed. He knew he would. He wasn't sure how Wilbur trusted him with something this important in the first place.

I've got one hundred hours to rearrange the stars And I'm the worst mistake that God has ever made You seem to integrate so fucking well But I make lemons out of lemonade

New L'Manburg era Tubbo. He had so much work, so much responsibility. He felt like he didn't have the heart or the capacity or the brains or anything to do it all right. Everyone else seemed to be doing so well- why was he still hurting, still lost from Manburg, from the war? Why had Wilbur trusted him with something this important, again?

(He didn't, he remembered. Wilbur gave you a crater, not a country.)

Blood clots and death cramps, injections and leakages The election cyclе and the tides Aztec circles of the death of all deaths But the beast refuses to die

He started preparing another election. Maybe New L'Manburg can have a new president, someone that actually knows what they're doing. For now, he'll do what his cabinet tells him will be the best for his country.

(Technoblade has reached the goal [Postmortal])

In your guts you know it's all destroyed You could've had a boy if you had children Now you think you might just put them down None of us belong, everything I do is wrong And soon there will be nobody left around

Tubbo reminisced on the war, on how everything went wrong. He remembered Wilbur, he thought about how Fundy could've had a good childhood, a good father, a good life. Why did Tubbo keep failing on protecting the people he loved? Why did he have to handle the trial of his best friend? Why was Dream so adamant in getting Tommy exiled? Why did everyone leave, in the end? Why did he have to be the sole ruler and actual citizen of the country he loved the most?

And in your blood, you know what's right And in your bones, you know what's wrong And in your throat, you know you're lying to kids And you know nobody belongs in this hell And there is not a single choice left to make I am God's worst mistake and You seem happy on the knife's edge But I just lick the blade

He thought about Wilbur, constantly. About how Wilbur lead him into a war they were destined to lose, how Wilbur let his family, his citizens die again and again, with no remorse, no word from him. He had the guts to spiral and to leave them alone, with no leader, no apology. Wilbur didn't do enough, and Tubbo never helped him when he needed help, and Tubbo isn't sure if he's angry at Wilbur of at himself. He feels like he was never enough for Wilbur, or for L'Manburg.

(He is wrong about many things, of course. Wilbur cared for L'Manburg and its citizens, and suffered because of it constantly. Tubbo doesn't know that, tho. Not really. Tubbo still forgives.)

I've got one hundred hours to rearrange the stars And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made You seem to integrate so fucking well But I make lemons out of lemonade

Still so much work. He's still not enough, not in his eyes. Not in Wilbur's. He was left a crater, not a country. Maybe he should've never been president.

Blood clots, death camps, glitz and depressions The business cycle and the tides Concentric circles of torture wheels But the beast refuses to die

Maybe Schlatt never died, not truthfully, not his essence, not his influence. Maybe his cabinet was right. Maybe he is just like Schlatt.

Atomistic rational behavior, invisible hand savior Fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death Who fuckin' told you you were selfish or even self-interested? Don't you think it matters when we wish our friends the best

Dream has the best of New L'Manburg in sight, Dream said. It somehow didn't feel like it, with him pushing towards Tommy's exile and Tubbo's mental downfall. Tubbo couldn't see any options or ways out- "selfish", he calls Tommy. Maybe it's true. He isn't sure what selfish even means anymore. Everything is too much at all times.

And, fuck, I'm not a Marxist, I'm not a fuckin' democrat Because of all this bullshit, I'm not anything at all All I wanted was a framework, none of them can live here There's nothing to believe in and there won't be till we fall And it's not all you, man, you were just a kid once God, I'm such a fuck up, if you only knew that I am such a fuck up

L'Manburg is his purpose- he doesn't care about sides, he just doesn't want more wars and destruction and death. He just wanted everything to be okay again. He just wanted Tommy back, but Tommy was gone- Tommy, who was just a kid, like him. Tommy, who probably just wanted home. But Tubbo exiled him himself.

I've got one hundred hours to rearrange the stars And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made I can't get the numbers right, I can't fucking count Because not one goddam thing is in its place

Doomsday happens. L'Manburg is gone. He wanted to fix it, to bring it back, to have it back, but it's gone. It's all gone. Everything he loved, everything he believed in, everything he fought for. All gone.

Blood clots, death camps, glitz and depressions The business cycle and the tides You fuckers know it's all built on lies But the beast refuses to die And so I guess, well, neither can I

Tubbo starts again.

Snowchester is built.

#constellation cove #tubbo #c!tubbo #dsmp #dream smp #dsmp analysis #kinda?#tubbo character study #ehehehehehe #i. this probably sucks but i'm like going insane

7 notes · View notes

jungxk · 3 years

Note

// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

5 notes · View notes

ghoestys · 4 years

Text

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n) age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS! 1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin.

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit.

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH!

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff!

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea.

i mean. she was burnt out but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit.

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her.

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves

personality

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :)

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :)

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

#intro #i am rushing im so sorry i jsut wanted this out while i was thinking about her

6 notes · View notes

irregulardiaryposts · 3 years

Text

23:28 11/05/2021

sooooo uhhhhh,, its chewsday innit.i have no idea what my life is anymore. like what do i even do?? i have no idea how i would describe myself to someone else and thats sort scary yk. like how am i supposed to like myself if i dont know who i am? n e way enough existentialismmmmmm ice gotten more unconditional uni offers which im dead proud of like who wouldve thought I wouldve been able to do this. if only i couldve seen myself like 4 years ago i would be shocked. i mean most of it would make sense but like i didnt even think id live this long tbh. i dont think about that enough the fact i couldnt see myself getting older and doing 'grown uo things' because i thought i would never get through the present. that sounds real sad wow.

lets talk about something else, perhaps how i believe myself to be far too impulsive for my own good and never thinking anything through twice. like ive just tried to revamp my whole room coz i was unhappy with it. i tried to chalk it up to just wanting a better desk and suddenly ive thrown away half my furniture and my room looks empty affff. but its ok since it already looks kinda better everything's cleaner now too.

i went into my backgarden today and i picked all the uhhh my laptop almost died on me there i realised my things at full brightness anyway yes i went and picked the uh dandelions? the yellow chucky ones and some daisies and i made some flower chains and stuff and hung them in my room even though theyre gonna die idrc becuase they still look kinda cute, i keep patching my uni prep class becuase icba going but i still need to set up student loans and shit and actually confirm my choice for uni too omfg so much work and also need to start teaching msyelf the theory sruff for my driving thingytghing

i was just looking back at another post before i started typing this and i was talking about how i dont really espress myself all too well through my apppearance and things i can personalise to me and i feel like ive gotten a lot better at that coz i recently chucked away a lot of clothes i dont wear and my mum bought me new stuff and im dead chuffed coz im far more confident in them and theyre far more comfy too :) ive also stopped wearing bras with wires and padding in them coz fuck all that shit i no longer care if people see my nipples becuase its not worth the actual pain from and improperly fitting bra which all of them are on me ............................................

ive been listening to some NEW music lately just from my discover weekly stuff and its been pretty fuckign spot on with the shit i wanna listen to but i wish itd let me save each week as like a diff playlist but ive just been adding my favs to my other playlists feel like ive been piecing myself together bit by bit after not having the right pieces for years.

anyway future me or whoever listen to 'them changes' by thunder someone or other because i think im a little bit obssesed atm hehehehehhehehehesjnjndkb LJBSCLVJBs jbs c' CKJBDKjkbckj sh. i feel a bit like a fraud tho ngl like as tho im waiting for the other shoe to drop and find out im actaully lying about being a functioning human being for longer than like 5 days in the past 3/4 years. did that make sense idk im justsaying i feel a bit fake and that next time i feel a bit d y s f u n c t i o n a l its gonna hit really fucking hard and its gonna take a lot to get over it idk maybe im just being pessimistic or smth have a tendency to do that.

also ive completely given up with school i have less than a month left and i cannot be fucked doing any more work than is necessary to pass ie only doing the test things and pretending to know what im doing in class no studying no homework none of that bs i would rather break my toes ..

ive wrote like 3800 characters thats like maybe 800 words isssshhh idk man considering ive wrote w shit like wbsihizjbk ziSJNlcjb alknfbv ajn jankbdv. you know , . i dont really know what im rambing about anymore nothing has realliy progressed that much do idk what to say ill come back maybe when im at uni :O beye

#this is the most incomprehensivle shit ive eveer written #who lets me do this'#i do i do this #tags are so fun what the heck'#jhbk SD CJSK #im looking at all the typos in this and i feel absolutely no shame #my keyboad simple doenst understand my dancing fingers #anyway gn #also additional little thing at 00.01 i found out today that p!nk and pink floyd are NOT th e same thing #hi future me here to fix typos turns out i Do in fact Feel Shame #anyway #may 2021 entry #2021 the year of fun

1 note · View note

dawnblade · 4 years

Text

walruses are dogs but thats not too surprising. im just looking at wikipedia. i need a week off even though i dont do anything. bears are also dogs which ive covered before. i just cant get it through my head that hyenas are cats. like theyre dogs. foxes are more cat than hyenas but theyre dogs? evolution is weird. does it even really matter in the grand scheme of things. the foxes dont know theyre being classified. skunks are dogs and so are raccoons. cats are cats and dogs are dogs, which isnt a surprise. how did these evolutionary trees go. something about classifying feliforms by the holes in their skull. how do you figure that out. i guess its just years of research piling on top of each other. is there ever too much to know? how long have we been building off knowledge. whatever im done thinking about it. mammals arent even interesting. fish are though. i wish i couldve been a marine biologist so i could study deep sea fish. we dont know a lot about the ocean. its beautiful and fascinating. i just want to study the stoplight loosejaw cause thats always been my favorite fish ever since i was a little kid but even today, theres very very little information on them that i can find. maybe theres secret research only marine biologists have access to. ive always thought deep sea was the coolest. i wish i wasnt so stupud so i couldve studied ot. i know its like never too late or whatever but its too late for me cause im gonna die when i hit 30. ive always loved everything wbout the ocean. its really beautiful and interisting. i always thought deep sea was the coolest. all my art inspiration in middle school came from drawing deep sea fish lol. youd think id be really good at drawing fish because if that but no im actually better at birds. weirdly. i dont know when i got good at drawing birds. theyre judt easy. i think thats like the only animal im actually consistently good at drawing

4 notes · View notes

krpk-remaking · 6 years

Text

Dr Sex Epic Character - maxx @maxxeruz

Leorio Paladinight is easily one of the most underrated hxh characters, both within the fandom, merch and the manga itself, because he really is the most normal out of the main four and i really think he should be appreciated more because hes a great character!

Once again, shoutout to Mags @senritsus for helping with this! Go follow him!!

Im gonna be talking about Leorios Character, where his arc will go, and his connection with Kurapika. This is gonna be a little harder than writing Kurapika meta, since theres (sadly) a lot less Leorio content and we know a lot less about his background but ill try my best! Leorio deserves it.

Reading my Kurapika meta might make this a little more enjoyable, since i touched on Leorios and Kurapikas relationship more in depth there but you can read this post without reading it!

1 . Leorios Personality And His Past

When we first meet Leorio, hes introduced as a stupid, greedy and quick to anger Pervert, not an uncommon trope for a comedic relief character in anime. Those comedic relief characters often lack personality beyond that, a fact that is actually commented on by Kurapika.

But thanks to Kurapika, about seven chapters in, we learn more about Leorio and his motivations and as the manga goes on, it becomes obvious that there is way more to Leorio than just someone whos there for comedic relief.

Leorio grew up in (presumably extreme) poverty, loosing a friend due to their lack of money, motivating him to want to become a doctor whos able to help people for free.

"I'm a simple guy. Figured I'd become a doctor... so I could cure some kid with the same disease, tell his parents they owed me nothing! Me... A doctor! Now there's a joke!! Do you know how much it costs to even try to become a doctor? The mind boggles!! It's always about money! Always!! That's why I want it!"

Knowing this, Leorios character already gains a lot of depth. Sadly, the manga doesnt mention when exactly his friend died but the 2011 Anime follows the manga more closely so ill go with the fact that his friend died when they were younger. Most of Leorios actions can be explained with the guilt he feels over the death of his friend, how useless he often feels and the way his upbringing in poverty affected him, for example at the very beginning, the fight he picks with Kurapika stems from the fact that Kurapika didnt respect him and was acting as if he was better than him.

Leorio absolutely hates feeling like hes at a disadvantage, or like someone is looking down on him, probably due to getting little respect during his childhood due to his poverty. This also just might be the reason for him to constantly dress in a suit, something that rich, important people often wear. He often overplays his pride, puts up a facade and the way he presents himself really just screams overcompensation in so many ways

Here, he gets upset at Killua because he feels disadvantaged once again. This feeling of inferiority is often the reason for the fights Leorio has with Kurapika and in this instance Killua, he absolutely hates being looked down on. The Other reason he fights with someone early on is, because they dont value life in his eyes, for example the old woman who was asking them to choose between two human lives, toying with them per say, and not valuing them.

Leorio values human life, especially those of his friends over everything else and has a strong sense of Morality, since he did acknowledge he was in the wrong and apologized to the old lady.

When Hisoka was playing with the lives of the others during the hunter exam, as well as Leorios and his friends, Leorio got upset once again and, knowing just how powerful Hisoka was attacked him anyways with no regard for his safety.

He mentions “being toyed with” twice, something people do with people they look down on/are stronger than, where Leorios hate of feeling inferior once again comes back to show.

But, While Leorio absolutely hates being regarded worse than everyone, he also dislikes being viewed as someone whos better than everyone and gets very embarassed everytime someone compliments him/shows him positive attention. This is either due to the fact that he isnt used to it, or that he doesnt think he deserves it (note how hes always drawn with an embarassed blush).

Leorio is a very selfless man, whos ready to do everything in his power to help his friends because he doesnt want to ever lose another friend again. During the election arc, he focuses his entire speech around wanting to help Gon and uses his power to call for everyone to try and help Gon,

when Illumi manipulates Killua into killing during the hunter exam arc, Leorio is ready to give up his hunter licence for Killua,

And, being well aware of what Illumi was capable of, refused to let him through the door to protect Gon.

reassured Killua, showing his intense care for his friends (and little kids since Killua had actually not even been that nice to him),

When Killua had to fight against the serial killer, before they knew about his real strength, Leorio assured him that he wouldnt have to fight,

he willingly risked his life and let hundreds of snakes bite him just to warn Kurapika and Gon and to assure their chances of success, and before that tried to disband their team so they could still advance if he failed,

and, without any fear, they couldve sense that, stared down and yelled at the phantom troupe.

Leorio hates feeling useless and despite that, often does. He felt useless when his friend died and thus decided to become a doctor to cope with this guilt, he felt useless when Gon was sick, like his friend, and he couldnt do anything once again and he feels useless when Kurapika wont let him help him and wont let him reach out but despite that he keeps trying, to fight his guilt, to make sure that Kurapika is safe and to do his best to help.

He describes studying to become a doctor as something he does for himself, he doesnt see that notion, becoming a doctor to help people for free, as something selfless that should be admired.

He doesnt see becoming a doctor as something that he should brag with or that people should know. When he first meets Gon and Kurapika he puts up the front of wanting money to buy cars, mansions, wine, etc, all things one usually would want with money, when he really wanted the money to study so he could help people. Leorio thinks hes useless and good for nothing while everyone else fights and he just “selfishly” studies, but hes not useless at all and obviously studying to become a doctor to help the poor isnt something thats selfish at all. Maybe his motivations, to deal with his guilt over losing a friend, are a little selfish but the fact that he even blames himself and that he copes by trying to protect and value life wherever he can show that Leorio himself isnt a selfish person, hes someone whos ready to put his life on the line for his friends and others any day, despite being less reckless than the other three.

He sees Kurapikas quest for revenge as something noble, while he thinks very little of himself. Even during the election arc, after he had come into second and third place multiple times he was still convinced, somehow, that no one was gonna vote for him.

Even Ging a very experienced and talented hunter, though he is a terrible person, thinks highly of Leorio,

even copying the punch he threw at him, which Leorio, as Ging theorizes, mightve developed to get rid of tumors that are unreachable with operation, showing just how smart Leorio really is.

Leorio is someone whos been alone a lot and, while hes the least reckless and best at selfcare out of all four protagonists, had little regard for himself in especially the first arc, where he just kept jumping into dangerous situation. An explanation for that could be, that he had no one to care about and no one that cared about him before he went to take the hunter exam since weve never actually heard about any family he had or has. He could possibly be an orphan, explaining the missing mention of any family and the extreme attachment he has to Gon, Killua and Kurapika.

Him being orphaned would also perfectly fit into hunter x hunters theme of finding new family after losing another, Kurapika losing his entire clan, Gon losing his father, Killua losing his entire family except Alluka since his family is terrible and as good as dead to him and Leorio just never having really had one. So, the reason he becomes a little more responsible in arcs after the hunter exam is probably, that he finally had people to care about again, that also cared about him so now he doesnt feel like no one would miss him if he died anymore.

In short, Leorio, while being extremely selfless, caring, fearless, moral and empathic, thinks very little of himself and often feels useless and selfish. He cares most about the well being of his friends and has deep rooted feelings of guilt about the death of his friend, even though it was out of his control and he doesnt believe that his goal to be a doctor or really just he himself is deserving of any praise.

His wish to be a doctor is a mix of that extreme internalized guilt from “letting” his friend die, his selflessness that just got pushed up by the guilt and the empathy he gained by growing up in poverty and the first hand experience on why exactly free healthcare is needed.

2. Leorios Relationship With Kurapika, His Guilt, And How His Arc Could End

I wont go in depth about them here, since i already have one that multiple times but they truly are so, so important to eachother and are in many ways two sides of the same coin. Both of them have lost people close to them and theyve dealt with it in such different ways. It made Leorio want to protect life and heal people, focusing his nen around helping others (see: the punch he used being something he actually developed to deal with tumors) and it made Kurapika want to destroy life and kill people, taking revenge and destroying himself in the process, mirrored within his nen ability too (as it literally kills him to use emperor time, one hour of his life for every second). So this set-up, combined with the guilt Leorio feels over not being able to help his friend or Gon, combined with how important they are to eachother, combined with how the current arc has the both together on that boat, I feel like it would really make sense for Leorio to finally be able to save someone, furthering his character arc in a very satisfying way and also helping Kurapikas arc, letting him accept help from others and becoming less self destructive.

“Leorio is an unabashedly selfless character who very deliberately centered his life around helping others and the thought that he cant do that with Kurapika is definitely something he tries to take blame for.” (directly quoted from mags @senritsus <3) If something were to happen to Kurapika while Leorio is near and on top of that on doctor duty, where helping people is his only job, i couldnt imagine the guilt Leorio would feel. Hes always been looking out for Kurapika since they became close friends (and maybe the nearest thing to a best friend either had had in years) during the hunter exam and Kurapika did always try to be someone who calmed Leorio and helped him be more rational, though that changed when he began his down spiral after killing his first person and they drifted further apart and Leorio took on the job of calming down Kurapika.

Kurapika calming Leorio VS

Leorio calming Kurapika

Kurapika is in desperate need of saving and having Leorio be that person to save him would be so perfect for both of their arcs.

This arc already set up the tension in their relationship at the very beginning, or atleast before the succession war began and i do believe it has to be resolved (relatively) soon, especially because of this (once again my favorite) panel, showing Leorio as one of the four people Kurapika cares most about.

And, to quote my Kurapika meta post about this panel, Hes thinking about moments where they made him happy/made him care about them, Gon and Killua with their food fight in the park where they cheered him up and Leorio on the phone. Its him calling to check up on Kurapika. Kurapika really did appreciate it so much, even if he doesnt show it, even if he keeps pushing Leorio away. And he does care about them, even if he doesnt want to! The way Leorio expresses care for his friends, which is very vocal and direct, is so good for Kurapika because even if he still cant really believe or accept it, its still something he appreciates, somehow. I am not (!) saying that they will definitely end up with eachother but they are definitely incredibly important to the others character development and i dont think Togashi will forget about that.

If youve read all this, thank you so so much i really appreciate it! Leorio is an incredible Character that deserves more love and i hope everything i wrote here is coherrent!! If i made any mistakes or if you just have any thoughts youd like to share on this topic please send me an ask! <3

#i love leorio: the masterpost #strawberrymeta #leorio paladiknight #hxh #hunter x hunter #leopika

321 notes · View notes

johnnysseocute · 6 years

Text

Enemies to lovers - Lee Donghyuck

Warnings lot of cursing, a little kiss, FLUFFF !!

A/N: this is unedited but its kinda cute i worked hard pls enjoy

when donghyuck hates someone he HATES them

its just the gemini in him

like it didnt take much for him to hate yoy either

you and mark shared a class so ofc when you and him started hanging out around the dorms and shit he wasnt having ut

walking around with your cute laugh and beautiful smile HYUCK WAS NOT HAVING !! IT

so when you tried to introduce yourself he was weirdly distant and a little rude

which was confusing a bit to you bc you couldve sworn you were smiling your winning smile to try and win him over but he wasnt won over

and from then on the glares and bumping began in the halls

and from then on you couldnt stand him

you had no idea what his problem was all you knew was he had a sly comment whenever you said anything and continuously glared daggers into your skull

so fuck hyuck ! AAAAA I HAD TO

you and your mutual hatred for hyuck made it a lil awkward for you guys to all hang out

like mark or any of the other dreamies wanted you to come over to the dorms they wpuld always have to go through the petty arguments yall had Y/N v hyuck !!

and one day after a huge argument over some dumb shit it was over what movie to watch smh mark sent donghyucks grumpy ass into the room to have a talk with him

"i dont even know why you hate them they've literally done nothing to you"

mark was right but he still sat on the bed w his arms folded pouting ITS VERY CUTE MIGHT I ADD

so mark knowing hyuck continue

"y'know yall are very similar i bet thats why you hate them so much, its like when little boys pull little girls pigtails on the playground bc they have a crush on th-"

"FUCK OFF MARK, IM NOT 8"

and mark laughed bc he knew he was right and he knew donghyuck knew too so his work was done

"come out when your ready to be civil and apologize"

but ofc while mark was giving hyuck his mini talk jaemin and jeno sat you down and told you they hated seeing their best friends hate each other

so somehow with the help of jaemins very convincing smile you agreed to hang out with hyuck ... alone

so when donghyuck came out to apologize you said sorry too and offered the cute little 'friend date' idea jeno came up with

before donghyuck could say he would rather die mark stepped saying he agreed setting a time and date so you two can finally get to know eachother

you guys met up at a local cafe to study

and at first it seemed like it would be a complete disaster

but you both showed up trying your hardest not to be complete asses

you both ended up ordering the same thing which hyuck laugh a little

maybe mark was actually on to smth abt the similarity thing but he would never admit to mark being right

"wow maybe your laugh isnt annoying"

your comment making you both laugh

you guys continued the lil study session it getting more bearable over time

finding out abt that you guys have some of the same interests

like music, tv shows, movies ALL KINDS OF SHIT

yall were just clicking and it was surprising but nice

and it was almost time for you to go hone so hyuck panicked and said that he didnt understand a certain section of the notes so he asked of you could teach him it "even though your still dumb as shit"

he made sure to add so you wouldnt ofc get the wrong idea

"but coming from the dumb ass asking me for help but go off !"

and for the first time both of yohr insults were lighthearted and left hyuck feeling a little fuzzy inside and when you left he just sat there

like what the fuck was he doing he understood those notes he fucking wrote them he just wanted you be there back with him,,,, just the two of you

he couldnt stand being in the room with you but now he wanted to spend as much time with your bitchass as possible

so this continued for a couple of weeks

he continued not to understand things and help you with the things you understand too

his insults began to lose their edge and turned into things like 'u cute loser'

and he began texting you more often and somehow getting more touchy with you, offering to walk you home and playfully trying to hold your hand

mark ofc noticed how he would ask abt you more often and try his damn hardest to somehow wedge you into the convo

"so hyuck hows your study sessions Y/N going ??"

"fine, theyre pretty dumb"

mark turned around to scold him but he stopped bc he saw him,,,,, smiling,,,,, the lee donghyuck was smiling,,,,, all bc of you

and then. thats when mark knew.

"WHAT YOU TAKE THAT BACK I DO NOT LIKE THEM THATS FUCKING GROSS EW"

buuuuut mark saw right through him, hed known donghyuck for way too long so he pushed him more

"so you dont like anything abt them ??? at all ??"

"i mean they're not that bad i guess. kinda cute and funny and they have the cutest little giggle and they way they scrunch theyre nose an-"

"OH MY GOD I KNEW"

"THAT MEANS NOTHING YOU DUMB BITCH LEAVE ME ALONE"

so hyuck went to bed with a lot on his mind and ofc the next day he had to see you

on your study session he was weirdly quiet and wasnt giving you his usual witty retorts to any of your comments so you knew something was off

"hey hyuck is everything alright i know you really cant stand me but if theres something wrong im here to talk"

"HOLY SHIT I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH YOU"

shit shit shit he didnt mean to blurt it out like that you just looked extra cute that day and you were beong extra sweet and plus you used his nickname AND IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM !!

as he went to apologize and desperately look for a way to cover it up

"HOLY SHIT I FEEL THE SAME WAY"

and he froze,,,,,,

"ITS JUST I THOUGHT YOU STILL HATED ME SO I WAS SCARED TO ADMIT IT BUT I REALLY LIKE BEING AROUND YOU AND YOURE SO CUTE HYUCK I JUST WANTED TO KISS YOU"

"OH MY GOD I WAS TOO SCARED YOU HATED ME STILL LIKE THATS WHY I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING BUT IT WAS KILLING ME BC MY GOD YOU ARE CUTE Y/N"

so basically you and hyuck screamed abt you guys liked eachother for a good 5 min until yall calmed down and just giggled

but it was already time for you to go so you asked him to walk you home in the quietest voice and his heart dropped

like yes !! you cute bitch !!

and he actually held your hand this time swinging it and lifting it up to kiss your hand every once in a while just to hear your giggle

and it was sooo nice to actually be able to express how he felt abt you

and once you reached your house, you gave him a quick peck on his lips holding his face in your hands

"now i want a real date you cute loser"

"whatever you say you adorable dork"

and with that donghyuck was off with the brightest smile on his face

until he remembered he would have to see tge dreamies and all their smug asses

but for now he'll just bask in the fact that the cutest person to walk the earth just kissed him

#nct #nct reactions #nct reaction #nct scenarios #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #nct mtl #nct drabble #nct donghyuck

171 notes · View notes

taylorleighlabarge · 6 years

Text

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

I seem to be posting on Monday’s a lot and if that doesn’t say something about Mondays then I dont know what does.

Anywho, today has been an adventure and its not even noon. Sooooo today we had a medsurg exam- UPDATE ON THAT CLASS uh still not passing. I literally only have 2 more weeks of school and I’m not passing one of my classes. Like- Im sorry, what??? Well I was studying my ass off this weekend and I honestly felt pretty prepared but I was gonna wake up early and study just a bit to kind of review things. Well I woke up with like 10 minutes to get to class so that didnt happen.

I get to class and sit down to take the exam and the first question had me so confused I just started crying. Bless the heart of the girl sitting next to me, I’m sure she wanted to say something or ask if I was okay but obviously she couldnt. I eventually pulled myself together and took the exam. Finished with like..2 minutes left so that was quite stressful but at least my professor cant tell me that I rushed through it.

All in all- I dont think I did ~horribly on this exam. I think I at least passed, and all I need is an 81 to pass the class so..fingers crossed.

On another note- in the midst of my stressing about the upcoming break, finishing the semester, going home and to kansas, and of course Im stressing grades like always- I realized that Saturday was the 9 year anniversary of my grandpas death. I didnt talk to any of my family that day. I didnt call my grandma. I received no messages with “keeping you in my thoughts and prayers” or something along the lines of that.

Years before I had gotten messages asking if I was okay, I would spend the day switching between feelings of sadness and nostalgia. Reflecting on great memories I had with my grandpa such as walking around the neighborhood and collecting rocks to add to our collection. Also reflecting on the end of his life...his time in the hospital.

I actually texted my aunt the other day and asked if she could tell me anything about his end of life care. I was in 6th grade when he died so I couldnt really comprehend what was happening aside from that he was actively dying. Obviously, since im a nursing major I thought it would be cool to know a little bit more about his conditions and what ultimately caused him to die. I miss him a lot, but I find it easier to move on from his death and be able to remember him on these days- or rather every day instead of just the day of his death.

These last couple days have been super duper anxiety inducing but I just have to keep reminding myself I have a few more weeks until winter break and then we come back to a new start! My hopes are high for this upcoming semester. Before we know it senior year will be here and I’ll soon be freaking out of the ~NCLEX~. *cue scary thunder and lightning cracks*

Update on my test: I got the 81 I needed, but I still feel a little defeated. Even though an 81 was all I needed- I thought I crushed that exam and it sucks that I’m probably still going to struggle to keep my grade in that class, as low as it is. All my other grades are pretty good and I might have a shot at making all A’s this semester- well with exception to medsurg. I studied so hard for this exam and it just sucks that I dont test well so my grade doesnt reflect my competence as a nurse. But I’m also upset that I’m upset because I feel like im taking my score for granted- like I couldve just as easily gotten an 80 and still be failing so- many conflicting feelings going on over here.

Newsflash: grades not matching your competency is definitely a recurring feeling all throughout nursing school. I can already tell, and this is only my third semester.

0 notes

bigbrotherorre · 6 years

Text

episode one: “TODAY WE LEARNED UNLESS BRYCE FEELS LIKE THE PRETTIEST GIRL AT THE DANCE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH” - AUTUMN hoh: BRYCE evicted: ROXY - 13 to 3

Okay WOOOO. So hey, I'm here doing a DR pre-season, because? I am cracked, a mess and SOOO EXCITED. Also, I looked up fun words, to find something to use as my confessional codeword, and "brouhaha" means "a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something" WHICH IS SO APPROPRIATE. So woo, enjoy the brouhaha that is my excitement for this season. I just wanna say a couple of things: 1) Nicholas and Julia posting those clock gifs is gonna make my head fall off, thats so scary. If it means past season twists like someone said in the VL, I'm NERVY. RoseGold POVs are my biggest fear, and I know there was a season where prejury was all about them so YIKES. Calling it now, I'm gonna get sent home by a rosegold PoV. 2) Emily and Lukas was such an iconic F2, no matter whomst the F2 is in Orre, we will never match them 3) I wanna make some pre-season picks of who I expect to see cast, that way if they win, I can take total credit. I'm feeling like Raffy, Sammy and Aren might be in the cast, based on literally nothing khajsdfla. Raffy as a player terrifies me (I was also the person who brought him into this community so whew), but he gets CRACKED so whew! Aren is a scorpio so we stan. ANYWHO. I'm so excited for this season, its gonna be a HOOOOOT.

Wooh so ready for the season to start!!!

Hola, did you miss me? This is going to be me reflecting back on my Johto experience and trying to point out the mistakes I made, and how this game will be different. (this is before cast reveal) The first mistake I did in Johto was go against the premade. I was wary of Connor and Ari, and I thought painting the target on the returnee wouldnt only be easy but would be successful. And then I found out that I couldn't, and then Connor made friends with everybody on my team and fucked me over in the long run. The second mistake I did in Johto was being messy. A prime example was making pseudo "alliance" chats in order to sway the vote for people to keep me. This proved to be unsuccessful. I also had a mental breakdown like every night, so that just buried me more. The third mistake I did in Johto was throw the veto the week I was nominated. I felt like I couldve won it but I decided to study for my test. I didnt compete in the pov that i shouldve won. SO now its time to do what I need to do for my redemption is quite simple. The last 3 ORGs ive played for BB i have made 2nd, 4th, and 3rd. And I learned quite a lot To negate my first mistake I'm not going to publicly target anbody. I will join the mob mentality to ensure my safety in early weeks. To negate my second mistake I am going to keep all my alliances as 1on1s. No alliances bigger than 3 people, and make sure to keep whatever information I have to myself. I will not snake out any information. To negate my third mistake is to try in all competitions. I will not throw anything I will not submit for anything unless I really cant. If I give it my all and still leave I can't beat myself up that bad. I'm nervous, but I'm ready. These freaks aren't gonna know what hit them.

Okay one hour to premiere! The fact that I've made two DRs pre-season? thats wild. I am gonna give a go at predicting the cast, based on... borderline nothing, beyond paranoia: Veronica Constance Raffy Autumn Olivia Eddie Elmo Hals Sammy Aren Those are guesses I'm confident in, so I'm gonna stick to that! Lets see if I get anyone right ajlkdsfas

Okay this isn't as bad as i thought except i'm a hot ass mess and messaged a picture into the house chat and i'm about to DIE

wut in the FUCK is happening who the hell are these people theyre mental all of them. nice to see sammy and ali though i fucking love them but i am terrified of playing with ali i literally said to my host chat 3 hrs before the game started "please say its all newbies so im not playing with zeezo" AND SHES HERE WTF

omg this FREAKING CAST IS WILD and i'm not gonna lie i'm a little worried that i might fight over half of them before the second week is finished...

not gonna lie seeing ashvika and roxy made me wanna kill myself but also i'm totally dying at the sight of ZEEZO AND BRYCE <3 also THIS COMP FREAKING SUCKS i need to find a group of friends asap so i don't flop. i'm gonna try to bring together bryce, zeezo, sammy, kat, and maybe ricky.... either gonna be lit or bite me in the ass

Hi!!! Y'all casted way too many people but it's ok cause I really like everyone so far whew. Also I really will do my intro video I swear... first thing tomorrow lmao

THIS SHIT IS OVERWHELMING AF! SOOOO MANY FREAKIN PPL IM TALKIN TOO! I LIKE MOST OF THEM but som im like k. then like the call i do not want to join bc shit they cracked af! hopefully its not my undoing but i feel like my social is pretty strong atm. #BBgameEVER

i'm just happy that ashvika is willing to put our unnecessarily tragic rivalry behind us and play this game right this time around. hopefully we'll be able to keep up the "we hate each other" look in the house chat and such so we can actually WORK TOGETHER this time. obvi i love her, and i just want the backstabbing madness to stop. hopefully she really has put out past behind her bc i'm ready to move on. like we're both pretty, we need to stick together. also shook that i talked to blake the longest today in pms???? like???? okay??? bryce and i look like we're in this for the long haul, hopefully we aren't first and second boot!! bc i have a weird feeling imma be pre-jury for some reason dsgdf

Night 1 Thots: Short term goal? to be as pathetic as possible. Probaly shouldn't have told alivia so soon that I was johnchen from bbtc world as after watching her intro vid. the could come back to bite me. Ryan seems like someone who I can ride on his coat tails for a while to get my foot in this game. So short term I need to be as pathetic as possible and hope this julia/bryce/sammy thing from house of shade starts to erupt.

me at alivia

Really regretting making my code word tractor.. Not a fan. But um me and alivia talked for like 4 hours and we're both legends. We have a cute google sheet bet ur all jealous. Her and ashvika are gonna pretend that they hate each other but they dont actually!! How fun. Hope i dont slip and blow their covers JKDFHKSJD. Everyone seems to know everyone which is scary. When i first saw Jela and Julia were cast I was scared that theyd target me b/c we had a rough introduction, but honestly theyre legends. Idk why i told jela i was missing a left toe.. but i did and now idk what to do about that whole thing. Maybe ill say i got drunk and dont remember saying that but it isnt true.. IDK WHAT TO DO. But um yaa happy to see zeezo here too but scared ppl will think we're a duo but honestly I dont think ppl will. Um I should do a cast first impression thing wooh! Ricky: Played my first tumblr game with him but dont really know him. Seemed nice but not much there Randy: seems like a legend. Poc king. Um talked to him and he wanted to know more about me but wouldnt talk about himself so!! Idk hope we talk more seems fun. Julia: Um called me out. Called me fat. Fun tho!! Seems untrustworthy but no bad blood. Roxy: Talked a bit, um shes fun?? Dont think she likes me Ashvika: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Alivia: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Honestly want to go to the end with her tho so I just am gonna have to make sure I outplay her so we can be f2. Bryce: ugly cast pic. Is he even a poc??? Zeezo: THE LOML I LOVE HER SO MUCH. we both seem to be working together so im happy. Hope to work with her and have her carry me in comps. She will beat lachies record. #menareover Kat: wish she was jade ;(. JK!! Love her so much already. She is so nice and fun and like just seems like a great person. Honestly shes gonna mist me too. Jose: Epicmafia king. We never work together and always betray each other so... first chance for everything??? He seems fun tho love him hope he slays (less than me tho) Sammy: I literally love him hes so nice but i never pm him so thats awk KDSJFHDKSj hope that this game changes that!! Lynn: Legend. Loves hufflepuff, hates middle school. Like I think we click but i know her and blake are like super close so idk if shed ever be closer with me but i hope so b/c shes just like.. amazing!! Saxon: Talks a lot. About himself. Maybe itll change when i talk to him more. Likes super hero movies so wooh i guess. Jela: Thought she hated me but maybe now she doesnt. Shes really funny actually so hopefully we can be allies. Blake: know that hes super smart and good at the game but like he got rekt by queen tara so maybe ill do that to him. We talked but it was bland but guess ill push through it Dennis: So his name is annoying to spell so had to change that quick. Kind of hate him??? But hes fun!!! Didnt know carly rae jepsen made music still so like the stan in me wanted to hang up the call on him. BUT then he msged me asking for carly songs to listen to so like.. love him now. Cant believe he knew all the social game hed need with me was just pretending to like my queen Autumn: We talked about her past games and it was basically me fangirlling about her ENDING eddie LOL. think we can work together because we both like intersectional feminism John: Tried talking to him but didnt go anywhere. But im gonna make it work!! Ive decided we'll be close so wooh Olivia: took 2 hours to respond to me. like musicals tho. kept ignoring me tho. Alivia outsold. Ali: PURE KING. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. NO ONE IS BETTER. I COULD NEVER TURN AGAINST HIM. SO IM GONNA NEED OTHERS TO DO IT FOR ME. Love his dog even tho i misgendered her but it wont happen again. Think we'll be close. reptiles stick together!!

WHEWIE. Okay I tried filming a video confessional, but my thoughts are such a mess, so I've decided writing it out will be considerably more coherent. YIKES SO. This season is already so wild, like this cast.... is gonna be a lot. I already can tell this season is going to have lots of fights and I don't know... how ready I am for that eeeek. But otherwise, my illiteracy means I don't understand the lottery twist so I love that. The returnee twist is fun though, like I feel like at the start of games, I go into panic mode, so having returnees I can go to about that, might make them feel like I'm an easy number and that they want to work with me? The people I knew before this season (like I'd actually spoken to): Bryce, Julia, Ashvika, Autumn & Olivia (I loosely knew Ricky, Blake & Sammy too) Within the game itself, the people I've had the best conversations with are Jose, Kat, Olivia, Ashvika & John. Olivia is like one of my favourite people in the community, and also a super good player so I'd love to work with her. I also think the fact that we are friends is something nobody in the cast should know (I think) so thats fun. Jose was such a big threat/player last season, and the vibe I get from him this time is he wants to tone that down? I'm not good at working with super cracked people, so him being slightly in the middle between UTR and cracked, will make him a super good person to work with I think. He is also the only person I've like...talked game with, even though its super limited, just that I wanna work with him. I'm a weirdo and watched all the Alola cast assessment stuff, and it sounds like Kat was playing really well, but got stuck in a funky position and couldn't recover, so I think she is gonna be a major threat this time and I'd love to work with her too woooo. Ashvika is a queen. Just plain and simple. She is so wholesome and nice, and already seems loosely on the same page as me, so thats iconic. John scares me ajkhsdfaslf. i think he is a total newbie, and I also think he is gonna get super cracked, and thats.... scary asdkjflas Dennis I just started talking to properly, he is in my timezone-ish, so that will be good for my sleeping pattern if he ever wins HoH or anything, but I worry he may struggle to make connections, so I'm not sure how much he can help me as an ally? The others I'm gonna try and do more rapid fire, since this confessional is already massive hjkasdflsaf: Alivia: Really really nice! We haven't spoken all that much, but she seems super friendly and she was really loyal in Unova, which makes me feel good about maybe working with her? Also Ali in the name? we love legends Ricky: Ricky is.... an interesting one ljaksdfla. He is a fun personality to have around, so I hope he sticks around. I'm not sure how invested he will be in any of these games, but I hope he gives it a good go woo Randy: Randy is gonna be such a threat already I can tell sahkjfdla Also he lowkey scares me, because whenever I would start pm'ing people on call yesterday, he would run to my pms asking why I wasnt pm'ing him which freaked me out sjkadflas. He seems fun though, and Dom stans him so we stan Julia (The Witch): An icon. A legend. An inspiration. Also terrifying skjahdfla. She mentioned all stars on call yesterday and my heart stopped, because I hated how I was in that game and dont want it talked about. I think she is gonna fight people and I don't especially want to get on her bad side! Roxy: Havent spoken to her much, it might be tricky talking to her, since we are both in weird timezones, we will see Bryce: A SWEETHEART. I love Bryce soo much. We worked together in a mini once, and it was super fun, so I'd love to work with him more. Zeezo: She seems super nice! I don't really know her, beyond that she is POVzo and probably a comp threat, but I think she will be fun. I know her and Bryce are friends so we will see where that goes jahdfka Sammy: Super nice! I loosely know him, but he seems like he will be good fun. I havent spoken to him much, so I hope he is gonna be active rip Lynn: I know of her from Moheli, and I know her and Blake were ride or dies which I am wary off.... Otherwise, she has been super quiet and I could see her.... potentially going early rip a queen Saxon: FUDGE. I havent spoken to him at all which is scary, since I feel like he probably already knows a lot of this cast, so if he wins RIP me I guess. Otherwise, he seems like a fun personality so wooo Jelaminah: Ummm. She is wild. Like really wild. I think I stan her, but I also am like.... concious that she is a lot, and its sometimes too much for me. I'm a bit annoyed by her tbh, but its just because she was like laughing at people's sexualities, as if she didnt believe them, and thats super ugly, but I couldn't exactly say anything to her. I think she is gonna be a super dominant personality, but whew we will see. Blake: I know he was a big player in Moheli, but I think he also rubbed people the wrong way.... We will see how he does, he seems iconic Autumn: A QUEEN. She is the most inactive so far which is worrying. I don't want her to go early. I could really see her going up this week, but maybe us two havent talked much, since she is just comfortable in our relationship? AND WHEW. Thats everything, if anyone read this, I love you for that. Otherwise, wooo I'm super nervous, I love my DR guests Owen and Emily and eek. We will see!

ahhh okay so, I’m super excited about meeting new people....BUT...this cast is so huge and I’m so nervous. I like everyone for the most part and I’ve been trying to like talk to some people I’ve played with in the past to maybe smoothe over some bad relationships? The only person I’m still like nervous about is Julia because she kills the straight men and she hates Gemini’s. AND WHAT AM I? A STRAIGHT MALE GEMINI. I don’t think she’s very good at comps tho and I know she would go for Bryce before me. Anyway I seriously love Kat because she is so genuine and I just want to work with her. Also I want to work with alivia, roxy, zeezo, Olivia, randy, Jela, ricky, and autumn! There’s a few others as well but I’ll prob do like a video DR and talk about how I feel about everyone...who knows.

Jose is officially my showmance and we stan asjdkfaslf. He is so nice and my favourite new person I've met in the cast anyway, and he won lots of comps last season so I'm ready for him to drag me to the end dlakjfasfa.

youtube

bryce better not fucking put me up or i'm gonna SHOOT

youtube

wow so happy bryce is HoH!!!! perfect week one :$

I am actually really happy that bryce won this HOH bc that means my ass hole is safe! PRaise BE. MY showmance that was made by ALIVIA has saved my ass and partly to me sorta already knowing him through tara! BITHCH TARA LOLOVE UR ASSSS. ANd shoot idk what these gays are lookin at but ppl be sayin they think im cute. maybe its like when i look at a potato or like a waffle fry?? who knows ahaha but like some of these boys be good lookin like damn. hit me and my crocs up boys ;P

I am not a bottom. ya dumb bitch

Bryce is nomming me for not playing in the hoh. Gurl gurl im not a newb who would buy up that excuse

Just say we arent alligned and im good with the other players and id belive you why would i buy that you, a player whose played a few games by now, would nom someone for abstainimg

Okay SO. I filmed a video confessional earlier, but its already super out of date so its time for an update! I have spoken to lots of people that I hadn't talked to since premiere night which is good, Alivia & Kat are so nice! Jose is, as always a king, and I think (other than Olivia) he is my closest ally rn, so woo we stan. Otherwise, I spoke to Bryce, and it seems like (praise be), I'm not getting nominated, WOO! He says he is nominating Roxy/Autumn, with Julia getting the future shock thingie. Like I told him, the future shock is kind of like a curse and we know Julia loves a good curse, so its a good matchup aljdfkas. Otherwise, these nominations make sense. I LOVE Autumn, but she has been the quietest person in the cast, so I assume she is gonna go first rip. Roxy I have spoken to a fair bit, but I know she is in a funky timezone, which probably throws off her ability to be active. Bryce seemed like he was being pretty open with me, so I hope I'm not the backup plan if somebody comes off. I feel like my social game is pretty strong so I wouldnt have thought people in the house would push for me as a renom and eI'd be suprised if I get nominated! Last but not least, the unfortunate thing is how MENINIST these nominations are akjsdfla, we are really putting the orre in discriminatorrey.

youtube

First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally like looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1. Until then I'm going to spend my time with investments that are bound to pay off. Which are with the newbies. I've been spending a lot of time on Blake because Blake lives 20 minutes away from me. I'm trying to hold this down as secret as possible. He likes me, and I want to work with him so I'm just going to continue our friendship and ensure that we're a duo. He doesn't talk a lot in the housechat which is concerning to me, but he does hold very strong one on one relations with most of the house. Lynn is also a south carolina native, and she is just so infectious. She is very intimidated by the large cast meaning that she hasnt bonded that well with a lot of people. So i put two and two together and made a South Carolina alliance. I know Blake is genuine about it. But the main purpose of this alliance is to keep Lynn under my sphere of influence. I can't have no newbies on my side. No ma'am Another newbie who stands out for me is John. John is just really active, and such a social threat. Meaning that his word has saying. So far my relationship with him has been "hey let literally help you with anything and expect nothing in return". With him im trying to show myself as a puppet, or somebody who is very very useful with him. And I actually showed that this week when Bryce won HOH. Won't lie I didnt want but also wanted HOH at the same time. When Bryce won it I was very wary of what was going to happen. Then John comes up to me saying that Bryce is thinking of nominating him. And since I had a decent bond with Bryce I know that I had to save John. So when Bryce talked to me he was dead set as Roxy as the initial nom and target, and Julia for safety this week. Then he mentioned that he was on the fence because he didnt know if he wanted Autumn or John nominated. So I told him the truth that it would be silly to nominate somebody as active as John. And so John wasn't nominated. I stuck my neck out for John and was one of the reasons he isn't nominated this week. And these game things build genuine trust since I'm not just talking to talk. I'm walking to walk and this game isn't ready for Randyy.

Hello ladies and gentlemen you're looking at the first nominee of the season waysup

Imma get to the bottom of this so ain't even worried. I just feel bad y'all didn't even get one happy confessional from me. We just jumped straight into poppin off. That's ok though! Nice for what am i rite

Bryce is full of shit and I'm embarrassed for him. Like who makes an enemy out of me on Day fucking 3? Really my guy? That's the first thing you thought of when you had 19 people to pick from? Apparently I'm getting nominated because the other 18 people in the cast talked to Bryce yesterday and I didn't. Not only do I not buy that, but we just not gonna acknowledge the fact that I talked to him on 2 of the 3 days the game has been going on so far? K cool. Today we learned unless Bryce feels like the prettiest girl at the dance every minute of every day, you're not doing enough Also can we talk about how the "I'm so happy to play with you I always root for you" energy that Bryce was selling to me on day one didn't even last a round? Hiigghkey I feel like the people who know me in the cast are secretly happy cause they know I'm petty enough to take Bryce out and I'll have no problem taking the fall for it. Ali, Ashvika, Sammy, Julia, Olivia- they know I don't play that shit. Can you imagine being first HOH, using it on me, and then thinking I'm not mad at you because I "understand" that nominating me was "the easiest thing to do"?

SHIT YOUR BOI JUST DID THAT TONIGHT! IF U KNOW YOU KNOW. 😜😂

youtube

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

woo I'm on call with Autumn, Sammy, Jela & Dennis. THEY ARE SO FUN. I am back on the Jela stan train, she is actually super nice! I think I want Autumn to stay this week (and I think she could too)! Roxy is super sweet, but Autumn is a queen and the queen stays queen! Oh, I'm not using the veto too, its way too early to make a move and I don't know who would go up instead. I'm still SHRIEKING that I won that veto somehow kjlasdfa

CLICK HERE TO SEE RANDY’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

[5/9/18, 2:45:32 PM] Blake Sanders: do you want money?? [5/9/18, 2:45:41 PM] Blake Sanders: BC THE MONEY WANTS YOU! [5/9/18, 2:45:43 PM] alivia: do you wanna be rich??? [5/9/18, 2:45:53 PM] Blake Sanders: ^^^^^^ RICH [5/9/18, 2:45:58 PM] Blake Sanders: not just driving nice car rich [5/9/18, 2:46:07 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean using cheeta fur as toilet paper rich! [5/9/18, 2:46:15 PM] alivia: 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 [5/9/18, 2:48:20 PM] alivia: YOUVE BEEN HAND SELECTED [5/9/18, 2:48:31 PM] alivia: BECAUSE WE THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES [5/9/18, 3:07:19 PM] rixxy 🦄: Hi I just got off work [5/9/18, 3:07:23 PM] rixxy 🦄: what the FUCK is this? [5/9/18, 3:07:33 PM] alivia: DO YOU WANT MONEY??? [5/9/18, 3:07:52 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm scared but absolutely [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] Blake Sanders: FUCK YA! [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] alivia: WE WANT YOUR HELP SCAMMING THIS HOUSE! [5/9/18, 3:08:09 PM] alivia: it’s good to be a little scared [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: I definitely don't like where this is going. [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] Blake Sanders: MONEY WERE GOIN TO RULE THIS AND MAKE MONEY [5/9/18, 3:08:26 PM] Blake Sanders: BUT U WILL RIXXY [5/9/18, 3:08:31 PM] rixxy 🦄: god [5/9/18, 3:08:34 PM] Blake Sanders: <3 [5/9/18, 3:09:00 PM] lynnt: yes [5/9/18, 3:09:53 PM] alivia: you’re gonna be rich so you gotta live rich [5/9/18, 3:11:57 PM] Blake Sanders: There’s like a joining fee [5/9/18, 3:12:01 PM] alivia: yep [5/9/18, 3:12:09 PM] alivia: like scientology [5/9/18, 3:12:21 PM] alivia: but like this is real [5/9/18, 3:12:56 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm not paying for this [5/9/18, 3:13:01 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this like a legit game thing? [5/9/18, 3:13:03 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc [5/9/18, 3:13:07 PM] lynnt: then imma opt out b/c this rich bitch is cheap and that’s why i’m rich [5/9/18, 3:13:55 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean we legit love u guys [5/9/18, 3:14:07 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this an alliance [5/9/18, 3:14:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc i'm uncomfortable and confused [5/9/18, 3:14:35 PM] alivia: woah woah woah [5/9/18, 3:14:41 PM] alivia: everyone calm down [5/9/18, 3:15:09 PM] alivia: don’t worry about the money. you can pay the joining fee AFTER we’re rich [5/9/18, 3:15:15 PM] alivia: don’t worry [5/9/18, 3:15:16 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i'm actually having an anxiety attack can you RATMEME.PNG literally..... WHAT???? blake and i were talking and started joking about being scammers bc sdfkal and then i was like "we should start a scammer alliance" and that's how it all started. we thought it would be SO funny if we just added them to a chat and started trolling them about scamming houseguests out of their money dljgdkfjg and i thought MAYBE lynn and ricky would be confused at first but ricky literally lost his mind like ooops my bad WE THOUGHT WE WERE FUNNY BUT I GAS NOT. [5/9/18, 3:16:08 PM] alivia: it’s a joke but kind of an alliance [5/9/18, 3:16:21 PM] alivia: but mostly a joke [5/9/18, 3:16:44 PM] rixxy 🦄: i literally thought i got dragged into some kind of game twist and i wouldn't play my own game god [5/9/18, 3:17:08 PM] alivia: omg WHAT [5/9/18, 3:17:19 PM] alivia: LITERALLY THE BIGGEST JOKE NOT SERIOUS [5/9/18, 3:17:25 PM] alivia: IMSORFY [5/9/18, 3:17:28 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i thought it was some saboteur/team america bullshit [5/9/18, 3:17:35 PM] alivia: omg noooo [5/9/18, 3:17:42 PM] rixxy 🦄: all i want to do is play the game and i literally thought that was snatched from me [5/9/18, 3:17:50 PM] alivia: HOW??? [5/9/18, 3:18:17 PM] rixxy 🦄: idk i thought y'all were a twist sdksksksksks sdfjsdl wow fuck me i gas??? my social game is really off to a great start!!! gotta get ricky outta here asap now

Right now i am on CAll with SAMMY SAM bc im bad at talking to multiple people at a time! SOOOOOO SAMMY is like wanting to be ym ally but like do i trust his ass??

CLICK HERE TO SEE JOSE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okayyyyy so this is definitely something different like bb is hard tbh. there's too many people to talk to and i just really don't care about continuing to keep up a convo with some of them but you have to or bye bye. i have definitely not been as social as most and that is def scary but the people that i have talked to and made connections are super nice. so that's why i was so glad when the people that won HOH and POV are people i talked to. uuhHHuh i have no fucking clue who i want to evict tonight so that's fun! ya know autumn is super nice and chill but she did go dark for a while and roxy is super fun and i still haven't heard ANY singing and i want to and she is campaigning really hard so she really wants to stay BUT since she's campaigning so hard to stay and kinda saying anything to EVERYONE who knows what she'll do to stay in the game later on. idk is it too early to be thinking about later in the game?? idkkk thanks for coming to my rambling ted talk. find out next time on if i've decided.

CLICK HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

OK SOOOO the eviction is coming up tonight and its either going to be Autumn or Roxy! NOw autumn is a super sweet queen but i feel like she will kill me if need be! but i still lvoe her! now roxy she is fighting for her life like she is making me promises i think she will not be able to keep. bc ive heard form other hosue guests she is making the same promises to them. NOW i love talkin to her about food and cooking but i feel awful that im most likely going to evict her! but o well it has to be done im glad its not me

i feel like i should give like a summary of like where i am with everyone and how i feel about them all before the first eviction! ALI: Well i first knew him because he reached out to me about a game he is gonna host. He like doesn't talk to me much which makes me nervous... I like him a lot but looks like we are just acquaintances atm. ALIVIA: OK I FREAKIN LOVE HER! SHE IS HILARIOUS! WE STARTED A ALLIANCE CHAT CALLED SCAMMERS R' US AND RICKY LEGIT FREAKED THE FUCK OUT AND WE WERE ALL LIKE WTF JUST HAPPENED HE IS INSANE! i hope i get to work with her a lot during this game and talk about ice cream! But i do see her stabbing me in the back later on so ill prob strike first. LOVE YA ASHVIKA: now this girl is a goddess she is beauty and she is grace! we talk like avg and stuff we have small chats nothing about gamewise. I see her as not being a threat as in targeting people or winning HOH i see her as a social threat. I think she will go far but not win she will def be jury. I think she is amazing tho and shes a model soo like i want to be her. AUTUMN: Now Autumn is a delight to be around so sweet and seems so pure but she will kill me i just know it. She's the beautiful flower in the garden that turns into a man eating plant <3 she is temptation and i may fall for it BLAKE: ive been told i was a certified good boy BRYCE: Now i knew him b4 this game bc of my friend TARA LOVE YOU BITCH <3 ! i think he will keep me around but idk if our bond is tight enough. i dont think he will choose to evict me yet. but other thsn that i want to work on having a closer bond with him for sure! DENNIS: I like dennis he just iidk theres not alot to say? me adn him talk about video games and stuff but whenever i talk to him i like forget like why im talkin to him lol! but he is super chill! JELAMINAH: THIS WOMAN <3 IS AMAZINGLY FUNNYY! SHE IS ONE PERSONALITY I WANT TO GET ON MY SIDE~! she is hilarious amd an amazing person i want to work with her sooo bad! i talk to her in oms sometimes but she is more of a on call person i believe or she just doesn't wanna talk to me ahah . O AND JELA I TAKE BACK TO WHO I THINK THE CUTEST BOY HERE IS ! JOHN : I love john! me and him talk trash about random things and it is hilarious! i hope he feels as close to me as i am to him! i feel like we can work together in the long run. JOSE: Ive only talked to Jose just a little bit so im worried if he ever wins HOH bc i may be nominated! so i better get my ass into high gear and talk to him more. other than that i remebr him as the guy who someone hit his fence with a car. JULIA: NOW i have heard things about this girl! like that she is ana amzing player and i better watch out for her! IM SO SORRY JULIA BUT U R ON MY HITLIST! AND SADLY U NEVER U LEFT ME ON READ IN MY PMS RUDE~! KAT:I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT KAT BUT WE JUST STARTED TALKING TODAY AND WE HELPED names each others plants! she is a precious person and i love her! she is so funny! i want to work with her for this game! LYNN: YALL THIS IS MY BITCH ! I LOVE YOU LYNN WE PLAYED IN MOHELI TOGETHER AND AFTER THAT IT WAS HISTORY WE BECAME BEST FRIENDS VISITING EACH OTHER AND STUFF! SHE ONLY LIED 2 HOURS FROM ME WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL I SAW HER ALL THE TIME! I AM MOST DEF WORKING WITH HER! SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND! <3 LOVE U OLIVIA: OK WELL IDK MUCH bout her. ummmm i talked to her a little im ttrying to become her ally but its not really workign she wont talk to meee!! RANDY: omg i have not heard good things about him.... i shouldve been told these things sooner omg! i feel like he hates me he might! we live in the same city and live like 15 mins away! omg rip rip rip . he goes to my old highdchool! thats crazy af! im working wiht him rn but i i think im going to nom him in the middle of the game or try to get him out around then. sorry randy! also hes been giving me the cold shoulder and not talkin to me which is rude. adnwe r in an alliance chat bro. come on really... RICKY: TBh u annoy me. everything i like u say its dumb or u don't like it. i say goodmorning/afternoon to u adn u say its morning its not even close to afternoon whatre u doing. AND IM LIKE WTF HAV U NEVER HEARD OF TIMEZONES! LIKE HELLLLLO! damn just we are not compatible people and well if i ever win HOH ill prob nom him. ROXY: DAMN BITCH I CAUGHT U IN A LIE AND U DONT KNOW ABOUT IT! THIS IS THE REAOSN IM VOTIN TO EVICT U IM SORRY OMG IM GOIN TO MISS TALKIN TO U ABOUT FOOD! ur sooo sweet omg and u hav a lovely voice! SAMMY: I have been told not to trust him bc he is a snake. But shit he is one of my closest allies now! like we talked for hours on call and watched survivor it was such a cute little date! GOD i hope he doesnt betray me ill cry so much! i mean he might but like i dont wanna back stab him.... yet <3 SAXON: who r u?? talked like never. ur probably nice?? ZEEZO: Girl u be freakin lynn out with eveyrhting u saying to and about her! soo idk like aht to do wiht u ahahah prob get u nominated?? SORRY IM A LOSER AND DIDNT MAKE A VID I LOOK LIKE A THUMB ATM <3

what bitch Randy, 3:05 PM hola 3:05 PM you never sent me a pm Randy, 3:05 PM ur coll bc you aint never talk about interesting shit 3:05 PM uh huh Randy, 3:05 PM tf am i supposed to reply to "yea" 3:06 PM sorry I'm not your source of entertainment you twink I was busy with my life Randy, 3:06 PM wow this is something we can TALK ABOUT Randy, 3:06 PM what did you do I kinda snapped sorry Randy

Are u gonnaget ur tattoo coloured? :0 or will it be lines? Rn im hungry waiting for ma burger heh 9:21 PM It’s just lines henny 👑, 9:23 PM Sweet! What inspires the one u chose? 👑, 6:35 AM Hey saxon! I wanted to wait to speak to you in person but im tired and sorta not feeling well so i cant stay up. I wouls love it id you vote me to stay!! I really enjoy this game and im a p loyal ally! Im active and have jackbox too xd. Ill try be up at least 2 hours bfr eviction if you wanna chat about the vote! 👑, 3:03 PM Morning 3:03 PM Hiya 👑, 3:03 PM Hows it going? 3:04 PM fine busy 👑, 3:04 PM Ripp with what m? 3:05 PM a 5 page paper 👑, 3:06 PM Ew Wtf 3:06 PM ye 👑, 3:06 PM Just quit school. Death sound sbetter than that Hshsbs 3:10 PM i omg 👑, 3:11 PM Lmfao Man now my eviction worries seem meaningless 3:14 PM Why is that? 👑, 3:15 PM :o cause your 5 page thing is gross :o have you started on it or still got a ways to go? 3:20 PM I still got a ways to go 👑, 3:20 PM yikes 👑, 3:20 PM how are you feeling about this week? like hame wise Roxy I think you're a lovely person but holy fuck can you just please shut up sometimes when you know someone is busy

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 1 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 2 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

I'd say it was an effective campaign xoxo Summer Shrek

CAST ASSESSMENT

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE WEEK 1 CAST ASSESSMENT!

#episode #bborre

0 notes

sh-lan · 6 years

Text

i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also…gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!

#mumble mumble #does this count as #spring mumbles #debs in portland #adulting debs

0 notes