#I DONT WANNA FUCK I JUST WANNA BE CONFY

[teaboot]

Never gonna forgive a/b/o for what it did to "nesting".

Now what do I call it when I abandon all other interests for weeks at a time in favor of obsessively searching for and collecting the ideal throws, rugs, blankets, pillows, sheets, wax melts, window shades, drapes, curtains, and mats with which to construct a perfectly-textured nap zone

Fucking despicable

[ilovemichifu]

TE ODIO

la odio. me cAE TAN MALL AGHHH. se que no soy la única, es que NADIE LA SOPORTA. me arte, ya me arte. en la superficie te sonrío en el fondo te estoy insultando a más no poder, no confies en mi ESTÚPIDA. "me quieres?" (NO, I DESPISE YOU, seeing you sit every morning next to me makes me wanna vomit, throw up, cant wait for you to go abroad so I can chill next year omfg) "si :)".

"lupita me tiene mucha paciencia".... amiga, te aborrezco. te detesto y cada parte de ti.

constantemente me pregunto en que tipo de familia crecio to turn out such a dumb fucking bitch, such a hypocrite, cant take responsibility, blames others, id obssesed with angel claiming he´s obssesed with her. BRUH. girlieeeee..... please grow up and mature, i dont want you to dieee.. but i just wish i had never met you, ypou know, my gut feeling was right, since the first moment i saw you i thought "she's gotta be a bitch...."

i shoulda trusted myself, i also brought this upon myself

[windupnamazu]

its still munday somewhere, fellow kids.

[steals a questionnaire from @whitherliliesbloom and runs]

NICKNAME. i have a couple! latte and melmel are more common with close online friends but most people just call me my actual name sfdnsdndsn!! im also fine with people calling me lunya!

REAL NAME. carmela! i... cant really keep this one a secret when i follow from my personal and my name is in my personal blog’s url.

ZODIAC. capricorn >:3c             s o o n         (five?!?!?!)

HEIGHT. 5′3″!

WHAT TIME IS IT? .............late!

FAVORITE MUSICIANS / GROUPS.  [smacking sounds as i trip and a dozen kpop photocards fall out of my sleeves]

i get to see my boys on my birthday!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also like.... an unspecified amount of girl groups? and sometimes i just let youtube autoplay me into indie bands i dont remember the names of. its nice.

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM.  what the FUCK is a sport

OTHER BLOGS. my personal! i have... two sideblogs that just scoop up aesthetic pics for my ffxiv ocs but i dont promote them because theyre just for reference. you might just notice them in your notes sometimes. i... also have a very inactive sims 4 cc-hoarding blog? 

DO I GET ASKS? yes!! thank you everyone whos sent me one, whether youre being nice to me or complimenting lunya or sending in ask prompts n stuff!! im sure i would get more if i turned anon on, but that will never happen.

HOW MANY BLOGS DO I FOLLOW? abouttttt 430, and the last 100 or so are mostly ffxiv blogs. i used to follow like, a thousand or so a few years ago but i heavily trimmed it down when i came back from a two year break. 

TUMBLR FRIENDS. i...wuv my mutuals.......mwah. i wanna have a linkshell or something with my friends on aether but im shy ashdfhnnsnds =w= ...fun fact! one of the very first friends i made on tumblr when i joined like eight years ago is my boyfriend now!

LUCKY NUMBER. nine!

WHAT AM I WEARING RIGHT NOW? a... dress. with flowers on it. its confy and easy to wear! especially since i had to wear Pants today and i have Sensory Issues(tm) that make those a special brand of hell to have to wear. 

DREAM VACATION. i could be content for the rest of my life if the Only place i was allowed to vacation was the philippines. i also want to go to japan! and greece! and hawaii! and south korea! and the salt flats in bolivia but im not entirely sure i could justify going to bolivia just for the salt!

DREAM CAR. what the FUCK is a car

FAVORITE FOOD. p..pasta...with....white sauce? i dont know specific names of foods i just eat them. 

DRINK OF CHOICE. strawberry bubble tea! wait is this like, a question about alcohol. ive never had al--

LANGUAGES. english..... i know like, a minimal amount of french and can maybe parse what someones saying in tagalog if i try really hard.

INSTRUMENTS.  oh. nothing. im very much Not musical-instrumentally inclined. i know what the notes on a piano are but if i tried to play one it would probably eat me in self-defense.

CELEBRITY CRUSHES.  i love all of the boys in seventeen equally!            i just love woozi a little bit more, thats all.

RANDOM FACT.  im decent at tetris?!

[kilmameri]

I saw @solange-lol doing this and it seemed fun so I wanted to do it too. Please do it yourselves too and tag me to it if you like, I won’t be tagging anyone. I’ve added my comments in chunks so theyre easier to delete. this is mostly me writing random garbage which isnt needed but i wanted to do

Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations

AIR: i have small hands • i love the night sky • i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by • i drink herbal tea • i wake to see dawn • the smell of dust is comforting • i’m valued for being wise • i prefer books to music • i meditate • i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

What kinda aspiration is having small hands tho? :DD I love the night sky the most when it’s warm an dark, often when im like, on a trip. its not often both dark and warm where i live :D and i Love birds. today waiting for the bus i almost forgot where i was when i watched birds fly in flocks over us. theyre moving back here for spring! :D

also like,, waking early is so over appreciated. and i see the dawn plenty bc the sun rises at like nine o’clock in winter if at all like,,, i get that its more constant to ppl who live closer to the equator and actually means something. i would wake up to see the dawn tho for the stillness of the world tho if it was with someone but only in daydreams bc why get up early when u can stay up late? that last one abt truths like lmao we get it u deep but yea i love trivia

FIRE: i don’t have straight hair • i like to wear ripped jeans • i play an organized sport • i love dogs • i am not afraid of adventure • i love to talk to strangers • i always try new foods • i enjoy road trips • summer is my favorite season • my radio is always playing

i love curly hair. i have really thick and stiff straigh af hair and i sometimes wish it had Even Waves bc id love to look more messy-cute ya know? bc now its all clean partings, no stray hairs. it looks too formal for my taste and id like for it to have some personality. i know i could just curl it with an iron or get it done but yea,,, i dont care That much

like im constantly told im crazy brave and i guess this applies to me? like i Did move at age 16 to my own in a city i have never been in with no one there who knew me and just,,, didnt even care. i tell others what ive been up to and they ooh and aah and im like?? but yea it does feel nice to be considered adventurous

also i love weird foods and am Not picky. in ninth grade home ec my kitchen needed to design a three course meal and dear fucking god was that a mess. we had one vegetarian lactose intolerant peep, one who didnt eat random shit like onions and bell pepper bc they taste bad (???) and so if a recepie had even a slightest bit of that he insisted it be left out or didnt even listen to the full recepie. and one who like,,,, would Not eat any foregin food. he wanted Potatoes and sausages. im like??? this is the final home ec test? this is supposed to showcase our skills,,, and you want boiled potatoes and plain sausage? what a mess lmao

WATER: i wear bracelets on my wrists • i love the bustle of the city • i have more than one set of piercings • i read poetry • i love the sound of a thunderstorm • i want to travel the world • i sleep past midday most days • i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • i see emotions in colors not words

i moved to a city abt uhhh? half a year ago and i love it here :D theres nothing better than walking in the centrum with the pidgeons and street artists and ppl having a good time chatting and shopping

i used to sleep past midday but i try to not so much bc that worsens my mood a lot bc i feel really isolated spending so much of my time alone. but it is my natural way of being so i guess thats how it be sometimes

EARTH: i wear glasses/contacts • i enjoy doing the laundry • i am a vegetarian • i have an excellent sense of time • my humor is very cheerful • i am a valued adviser to my friends • i believe in true love • i love the chill of mountain air • i’m always listening to music • i am highly trusted by the people in my life

bad eyesight ://. i do kinda enjoy doing household chores when i have something to listen to or a call to be in but that hasnt been the case lately. i am not vegetarian but sometimes i do go days without eating meat by accident which i dont mind but like,,, yea. its bc i eat like, bread, noodles, cereal, and then there might be something vegetarian at school that i eat bc it looks like the tastiest food there

idk abt my humor? its kinda spicky, insulting to some. but i dont mean it its like friendly banter. but i put it on with ppl who arent friends of confy with that sometimes and i dont mean to honestly

AETHER: i go without makeup in my daily life • i make my own artwork • i keep on track of my tasks and time • i always know true north • i see beauty in everything • i can always smell flowers • i smile at everyone i pass by • i always fear history repeating itself • i have recovered from a mental disorder • i can love unconditionally

never really liked makeup, too much work for a thing i cant really tell is even there. the flashy types of makeup i dont like so much. also im already cute af

ive been told im organized as hell by my peers and i dont get it. thats just?? how i naturally do things. it like,,, is Impossible for me to put things in their wrong places. if its hard to put where it belongs then i dedicate a “pending” spot for it in a place thats easy. and i hate notebooks and instead use a binder filled with loose leaves that i can edit as much as i like :3

thanks for reading, hmu if u wanna say something abt the things i wrote. ill read it

[e8luhs]

layne @roselalonde tagged me in a bit of an about the blogger indulgence. so here we go!

name: cyan nickname(s): cy, blue babey, god (i wish i were kidding. clowncil is to blame) gender: dykeism. im nonbinary lezzing it and thats just my gender zodiac: aries sun / scorpio moon / capricorn rising height: 5′6″! sexy but i wish i were taller time: 10:30 pm fave band(s): umm i have so many. of montreal, everything everything, glass animals, strfkr, arctic monkeys/the last shadow puppets (listen.) ... thats about all i can think of at the top of my head fav solo artist(s): lemon demon/neil cicierega, mitski, fiona apple, hayley kiyoko, st vincent song stuck in my head: I DONT REALLY HAVE ONE IN MY HEAD RN HONESTLY last movie i saw: ughhh like... dude i dont even remember i rarely watch movies last show i saw: persona 5 animation. i was on episode 2 i think when did i create my blog: 07.15.13 what do i post: cataclysmalbound and homestuck last thing i googled: ideological definition D;KAGMDS;GAM do i have any other blogs: ummm i got cataclysmalbound dot tumblr dot com and my secret anime/etc interests sideblog which i will never give out publicly and you can pry it from my cold dead hands,  do i get asks: quite often! its surprising honestly why did i choose my url: ebooks + 8luh 8luh huge 8itch = e8luhs following: 139 followed by: 2,091 average hours of sleep: lately ive been getting like 12-13 hours a night but it usually fluctuates lucky number: 8  instruments: ummm i love fucking ukuleles. i used to play clarinet. i play piano a bit but i havent in a really really long time what i’m wearing: jurassic park tanktop (ive never seen the movie) and basketball shorts. im confy dream job: artist of some sort!!! specifically id like love to make comics for a living it makes me really happy dream trip: no idea. somewhere with lots of city because i love the city fav food: ugh hard to choose. my top three are sushi + pepperoni pizza + egg drop soup nationality: white american fav song: bold to assume i could ever fucking choose. god last book i read: persepolis by marjane satrapi! top 3 fictional universes i wanna join: idk! homestuck i guess. andrew hussie make my trollsona canon to pay me back for all the stupid shit youve done you bitchbastard

if you wanna do this go ahead and just say i tagged you! idk who to tag in specific adkgjak;dslmg sorry

[hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoh-blog]

jessmhe mcfree rolled over 2 teh other side of his bed. his big, confy bed, designed for 2 ppls. somthign was missing. mccree GASPED! his best friedn! little snee snee the teddy bear?!!? he screamt in pane and egg on ee at the tought of losing his friend. but then his tummy growled aggessively. like a bear. he pappted his tummy, chuckling "ha ha i'm hungy". he desided to go to mcdolnalds. Little did Mcree know, this would be the biggest mistake gift he had ever maked in his life!!!!!1

chapper 2

jessy..... metts some new friend!!!! what will happen next!

hehehehehe theres some special friends in this chatper <3

Jesse McCree grabbed his coat and pulled it on. he as ready TO go to MDolnd! he smiled smilingly. what a wondercful day! ":)" Sade mceree. He popt his hedphones in and played his favrourite ssong. wich was coton eye joanne btw

he traveled down the street, lookin as sweggy as sweggy GETS! the sun was shin bright in the are...... what a wondercfuck day ":)"

BUT THEN!

IT STARTED TO RANE!

mcree put his hat on. he was no longer a happy boy,, "haha what a turn of events LOL!" he postd to facbeok. He sat on a bench to share some minnion meams and text his frend gabiel rays.

helo bagrel - mcre

fuck oiff - gabirl

ok :( - mcredn

mcfree sent the last text and runned off into the ally cruiomg. gabby rays was his BEST FREND. how could he have DONE THIS!?!!?! whoich was whem.... a FIGER standed over him!

"i charge 30 cents an hour bbby ;3" sade the weir.d.... robot man? with niple on his abdominal muscles? he was wearing.... STRIPPY CLOTHE? mitochondria, in his hysteria, didnt reealise that the rooboo man was a......... prostetit!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

"wat? i dont hav 30 centes?" said McCree. the prostititie man sighted and face palmed. "your so dumb LOL!" he twetted it and took picture of mcree and sent it to hius also protetute brother. "hanzo cum here thers a guy that doesnt haeve 30 cents dont u charge 2 centsn hour'

sudenly... A figure emerged from the darkness. Climbing out of the trash can, McCree eyed the figure's stern face and toned body. He noticed their strangely revealing clothes, and realised - they weren't just random ass hoes that you'd find on the street. They were... PROTETITS/11!!1!!1!

Notes:

my parents dont love me lol!

Notes:

oh WHOOOOO is SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE A MISTY MEMORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ haha dont worry boys and grisl and non bine m fine! thers some cool stuff about to hapen inthis chapter! stay tunesd!!!~~~~ <23

The figure stood up. He was... kinda short but also kinda tall LOL! cause mcree was sitting down Ha ha!

"hanzo. at ur service. 10cents an hour." hanzer said. mccreeesesxe strared at him witb tears running down his face. he didnt even relise he was crying!

"i don't -" mccree tried to say something in return, but he was quickly stopped ny hamzo. "are we doinjg this or what???????" he retorted. his face was stern and his glare was piercing. mccree started to cry harder. but he still didn't notice it bc hes a dumb bitch lol

"this is why i'm the one that charges more LOL!" genger said. also his name is genji lol! but back to the sorty

"shut yup ganghrene. are we oign to do this or not!" sad hanzo. he was so close to mccree now he was practically brething down his neck. mcree now finaly noticed he was crying. he bursted into teras. hanzo felt somthing.... somethinmg outsoide of all the secks he had.................. was this.. EMOTION (Emotion (stylized as E•MO•TION) is the third studio album by Canadian singer Carly Rae Jepsen. It was released on June 24, 2015 in Japan and on August 21, 2015 worldwide through 604, School Boy, and Interscope Records.[3][4][5][6] Looking to transition from the bubblegum pop-oriented nature of Kiss, Jepsen found inspiration in 1980s music and alternative styles. She enlisted a team of mainstream and indie collaborators including Sia, Mattman & Robin, Dev Hynes, Ariel Rechtshaid and Rostam Batmanglij; culminating in a largely synthpop effort.). Gager chuccld as hanzo blushd anime kawaily but in an anrgy wya somehow. he punchhrt genger in the gnutts. were it hurted.

he reeched fr mcees hand,,, puld him up and stared him ded in the f\ce! "i sorry... ive had totrubled lige.. all ife hade is genger............. ad even then i accidengtaly killed him b34 mursy revivde jhim and we got 39890327372490327980437  dolnas in mnedical bils"

hsnxo shed an single animay teer. he was CRING! genjtgetr gaspted.... mccree dsignred "hanzo... genegr.............. wanna go.............. to mcdoklad?" HAMNZO ANMD GENEGER GASPE! they had never beemn to mchdolands bc theyre foreigners and theyve got no money lol

"YES!!1 GENEGER SCRE,DSMEAMDED

'shut your whore mouth genji we all know we going to mcdonalds because we live in a trashcan, we're prostitutes, we have NO FUCKING MONEY and this nice man who literally just wanted emotional support after his friend was a dick to him is offering us mcdonalds! get a fucking grip jesus christ" hazer said.

"ok :(" said egnmermglkgi. jhis eyueliner stsarted to run..... as mcree and hanzer left.... genji taged along sadly.. there was something about mccree that striked him as strange... but he couldn't figure out what it was. he decided to push that thought to the back of his mind for now, and dragged his robot feet as he walked to the mcdonalds with his brother and their new friend.... or maybe something more?

Notes:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass

[nicomrade]

i was tagged by @the-space-enby! thank you 4 taggin me bub!

In general:

Real name: lmao im not 100% confy
 w/ my birth name anymore so ye. yall should really really call me moki tho

Nicknames: except for the shit based on my birth name/moki i am sometimes known as, birb 


Sexuality: pan/aro ayyyyyy


Preferred pronouns: they/them baby. he/him is acceptable if you dont have cool neutral pronouns like english does tho no prob friendo i dont mind


Are you a morning person?: i have to be up in the morning or else im gonna have a shit day but morning is for doin nothin on the interwebs and eating your noon at 11am. im actually super productive at 12pm/1pm so ill say not at all a morning person? like early afternoon? also night is super great if im hyperfocusing on something or else its just the time when im being Sad


When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake?: pool all the way baby. i swam in a lake once (1) and i remember it being cold so if its Hot why not but ayyy those good ol man-made pools full of piss are the way to go

On tumblr:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?: mmm @vava-chan-take-over-the-world ??? we gotta meet up next time you come to europe bub


Anyone you have met in real life?: like the irl friends i bullied into getting a tumblr ye but that doesnt count

When did you first join? How old is your current account?: im too lazy to check but my meme memory should be enough here. i joined few months before that “i crave that mineral” meme so fall 2014 i believe


Any peeves?: people using the wrong aro flag :( i dont wanna call them out or make an actual post about it cause if youre aro and use the yellow or the orange one then go you!!!! do your thing!!!! and like some artists put time & effort into art themed after the wrong one and i dont wanna be that guy so i shut up but please!!!!!!!! please try using the green/green/white/grey/black one?

Unpopular opinion: not only bigots but bigots-sympathizers should get punched in their ugly, bigoted faces. if youre helping the spread of hateful ideologies because its “freedom of speech” or “looking at all the point of views!!” then im going to personally break your knees regardless of what you actually believe in.

Feelings:

Do you easily get jealous?: not really jealous?? but like, left out & unloved. its mostly when friends seem to be closer to each other than to me but like whenever im third wheeling my current girl crush i die a little more inside


Do you easily get angry?: i think im p chill? like im the one messing with others and making them angry without meaning to usually. but when im in A Mood and i Need to be Alone im gonna snap and want to kill whoever’s in my space while im lowkey freaking out 


Are you easy to cheer up?: depends??????? on what i need???? some times any of my friend can cause i need to think of something else but othertime its, you say the wrong thing im gonna block you, steal your cat and when you eventually find out ill be like “do u hear that too kitty? it sounds like this place’s haunted or something i keep hearing a voice but i cant see where its coming from”


Are you good at hiding your emotions?: i wrote a book called “how to make your friends think youre mentally doing great when youre actually in the middle of a 3 months long mental breakdown” so i’d say, via text hell yes, in person i think my mood shifts are pretty obvious

What’s the very best way to cheer you up?: invite me to your house, come to mine even tho i said no, take advantage of my surprise and knock me the fuck out, put me in my bed and go home. ill wake up thinking it was one of my fucked up dreams and feeling better cause Night Time is Hell Time but Noon Time is I’ll See How This Day’s Going Time (ISHTDG Time)

Relationships:

Are you currently in a relationship?: nah

Do you currently have a crush on someone?: i think i still have that crush on that dude from my class though the year’s finished and my girl crush i mentionned earlier. im aro tho so the meaning of crush varies


If yes, might that someone be reading this?: lmao neither have a tumblr i hope not

Do you kiss on the first date?: my aro ass says whats a date but my touch starved ass says i’ll kiss on the minus 2nd date???

Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates?: whats a date lol

Things:

Favorite drink: its the unhealthiest of all its coke ayyyyyy 

Favorite food: lasagnas?? strawberry pie???? fucking pineapple pizza???

Most calming place?: i dont give a fuck about the place whats important is: are there any people around? nobodys there?: chill af, anyones there?:.im already sensory overloading m8

Most stressful place?:  anything that reminds me of a Bad Time


Most prized possession?: im a man of many loves dont make me choose. im a bad commie being attached to material stuff but thats the way i am & marx can kinkshame me anytime

i tag like @fullmoondagger if he wants to & @creepycreampuff if they dont mind also

[lost-rain]

It is Hard.

It is Hard to have Depression. It’s hard to wake up, get away from confy dreams and come to reality. 

It’s hard to get up, move upstairs to the bathroom and wash my face.

Hard to look at the mirror and be disgusted for what I see

Find another pimple, see how dark my eyes look and how messy my hair is.

Even so, no desire to brush my hair not even brush my teeth... 

When I brush my teeth I always feel liking going to puke.

It’s hard to put clothes, so I stay on my sleeping clothes for awhile.

It’s hard to come back to be a good mom, smile and don’t let my girl notice her mommy is a mess. 

I make her lunch, I brush her hair, I put one of her favorites ribows, she smile happy, trully happy and kiss me. 

It is Hard to know she loves me so much, and I also love her, but I cant give her my 100%.... Even so I try.

I put a random dress, I just tuck my hair in a pony tail, I take her to school.

The other moms they look elegant and pretty, my mind telling me stuff while I let my daughter at the school.

It is hard, damm hard to hear those voices on my head and the look on the other women’s faces... I know they are judging me, seeing how messy and ugly I am.

I tried once to make myself pretty, make up, brushed hair and pretty clothes, but again... It was too hard. 

It is hard to come back to the house, see how things are also messy...But I dont feel any desire to clean it or have strengh for that.

I take off the clothes, loose my hair, fall in the sofa.

I dont wanna do anything...I check social medias, to see people looking good and happy.

It feels hard see some people who once were closed, not really missing me when I miss them dearly. 

I feel hungry...There is nothing ready to eat...

My mind orders me to make instant noodles again...It is being all I am eating lately when I am alone. 

My stomach suffers cause of it. 

My mind says how hard it is to prepare something, go for the easy and fast option... I am hungry cause I am fat. 

My mind also says to eat fat things, sweets...The only pleasure I can still have.

I look to my belly and hands, chubby and fat.

I dont wanna eat...Stomach dont stay quiet.

It is damm hard...

So hard...

So fucking hard! 

But there is nobody who can do anything for me, so I get up... And have my own personal small victory.

I made Rice with mushrooms and veggies. Its a victory cause its healthy. 

I made fried egg with cheese and had grape juice. 

I watch tv while eating.

A small smile for a small victory...

It is hard, but I need to keep fighiting. 

#Lunna

[qualitypizzapatrol-blog]

Pizza fights the Sistem

Yesterday i felt very badly all day, dont know yet if it was cuz was just a bad day or because I didnt have the occasion of laying down some virtual ink soaked by anger on this page. Ill recover today. Double dose...

I wanna talk about how revolutionary is eating pizza. It just fucks all the onanist tendencies of limited people that gotta always put circles in  circles and squares in squares ( and btw that s the game the give us when we are 2 yrs old, no big progression from that point) . I dont know why this topic, maybe is cuz Im in a place, Japan, where everything has to be meticolously categorized and processed always in the same fuckin stupid way. SIDEWALKS! I mean....SIDEWALKS! How can you screw sidewalks? easy, instruction for dummies ;

- lobotomize people convincing them that every rule is fondamentally necessary to society’s prosperity

- give them a fucking “walking direction” . So you gotta keep the left as strictly as when you drive

Result? I always bump into tons of people because they dont care if you slept 3 hours and you had been standing into a cold operating room with your feelings and heart broken in 1000 pieces for 18 hours straight, they are gonna keep the “right way” no matter what. Since Im a very polite person I always say in these occasions “ gomen-nasai “ you poorly minded motherfuckers! But I m not making a racist argument about Japanese, it’s not  their fault, they were born in a society where everything was so overpacked and closed and pressed that everyone had to strictly observe rules and codes to assure a decent living. Here it comes the mighty PIZZA! Here the fucking pizza is squared! SQUARED!!! It s not a piece of sushi c’mon! 

All this post is not about Japanese ofc. I always tend to say things using layers and layers and layers of allegories. Remember the fruitless pompous style? You are knocking at the right door . I d like to expand the argument to wider horizons. Someone once told me I “ look at things as they were black or white, no shades of greys”... doesnt this sound so fucking black or white?? What I modestly think is that people are scared of strong opinions, especially about themself , so they barricade their souls behind tons and tons of confy and reassuring garbage. And the connection with Japan is obvious, you gotta walk on the right side, mesmerizing yourself in the crowd. Let’s make a mental experiment ( i m a fisics geek, well, have been ) : you are a proton, big , tanned, ripped, smart,fuckin smoking hot proton, and you have your only electron orbitating around you. This electron is the only you have ( you are an hidrogen atom ) and the only you ll have cuz the chemistry ( actually fucking atomic forces) made the matching, not you. Now, this little, pretty, soooo smart and passionate and talented and superbly crazily hot electron just get tired of orbitating at some point because she ( ops) feels like it s such a heavy job. How can this happen? well, it cant. Not in physics. Not in nature. In order to leave his proton an electron gotta recive enought energy to move to the next “orbitating station” and more energy again and again ,station after station, till it can finally be free. At this point the little pretty electron is not part of the atom anymore and it cant say it still feels part of it. That s not being black or white classist : either you are part of the atom and you keep orbitating no matter what ( cuz you just cant exist out of it )or you are free and alone and ur life sucks ( i dont wanna tell you which is the destiny of a free electron, you check it). Why people cant behave like the matter they are made of? because you know, we are not made of dreams and bullshit like that, we are made of fuckin red squishy beefy meat ( atoms-->molecules-->cells-->organs-->body--> human). I think i know why. It s cuz we have a huuuuuge problem that avoid us from behaving naturally ( like THE japanese problem)... we dont eat enough pizza, or we do maybe but without realising our act of rebellion. We gotta confront with a terrible thing; the idea we have of ourself and our interactions with the world. We give rules and limitations to what shouldnt have any of those by definition. If you love someone you should just keep doin it till there is no love anymore . If you just run away, because you wanna convince urself that all ur problems dont come from you but from someone else cuz it s easier ( and we all do this, apart from me that im perfect by postulate), you are just gonna live forever like a miserable person. Like japanese. They convince themselves they are happy, but that s the biggest lie EVER.  bye, I hate you none, but mostly I hate myself.  p.s.cLook at my writing position in the next post. how can i be soooo sad and angry?