#I DONT. I DO NOT. I AM VERY RESPONSIBLE

[northern-passage]

Hello, everyone!! I have officially sent emails out to all the raffle winners (be sure to check your spam folder). I'll be spending the next day or two linking winners with their respective author/artist.

Adding up all of the donations across all five gfms, I'm happy to say that we donated a combined total of €2,121.73!!! Thank you everyone for donating and sharing. Please keep doing what you can to support the people in Gaza. Keep spreading their gfms and keep talking about Palestine.

Huge thank you as well to all the contributors. Thank you for offering your art and writing to the drive and helping me get the word out. Much love to all of you!! 🫶 I'm very proud of what we were able to accomplish as a community.

[abirddogmoment]

today's hot take for dog people: management is not the same thing as training.

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[ferronickel]

Thinking bout the time someone yelled at me because they didn't understand butches.

[rapidhighway]

gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time

[puppyeared]

i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

[rxttenfish]

while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[bluegarners]

well i mean, the argument of murderer = bad person is ontological, but also, if you're going to ignore completely every objectively bad thing a character has done in favor of reconstructing the foundations of what made that character them, and part of that foundation is murder, then i really don't think you like that character or know them as well as you think you do

[schemelin]

every now and then i experience brief moments of self-awareness telling me to make major changes to the fusionsprunt story

[ganondoodle]

a wild assortement of comic wip screenshots and a random doodle that i posted to twitter but not here

(this doodle here is of Raal (aka demise before he became a deity) but whatever happens here isnt anything 'canon', i just randomly doodled him to try a loosen up my painting style bc when i work on the comic i tend to concentrate too much of rendering it perfectly and i dont like that)

[lupismaris]

..

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[thedrotter]

(cw for a gun, mild blood and suicide in the last drawing.)

Day 1-5 of drawing Re:Kinder daily for a whole month! I'll be doing that all month. ☺️

I did not draw Re:Kinder enough (said both sarcastically and genuinely, because while I know the statement is ridiculous I also do believe it www), so I chose to challenge myself. I will post these every 5 days to not clog the tag too much.

[polaroidcats]

sometimes you spend a week ignoring real life and being a tourist in your own city with a friend and then the crushing weight of adult responsibilities comes back in full force

[boxwinebaddie]

— COULD IT BE????

U-UNCLE NIIINA!!!

IS. THAT.../YOU/? </3

tw for mild body horror, semi-graphic medical talk

*reaches my kenny girl hand up thru the dirt by my grave

& shoots the wink, finger gun, peace sign, wave combo*

HELLOOOO, MY LOVES! />o</ <333

( i'll make a bigger post later; swearsies. )

but where’s uncle nina?...Long Story Short?

i am seriously dreading having to go to the hospital for...the THIRD FUCKING TIME, so my diaHAGnosis hasn't been officially proven,

but trust me...juuuust trust me...

*is somewhere between a laugh, sigh, scream and cry*

i am about 95% sure....

tHAT A CHILD W/ NASTY DISGUSTIN GERM COVERED HANDS GAVE ME

A FUCKING PARASITE!???

wheeeew!~ yayayay! sAuR AwESomE!

i am...having So Much Fun! <3 xx

anyways, in case i croak, just wanted to pop in from the trenches to say a real quick, but quantifiably large and overtly resounding

THANK YOU to...

my rant park girls, ofc, for enduring my britney spears mentie bs in the chat, my psychosis and v obnoxious 'needs to be carried thru life' complaining/suffering on the reg ( i cried every single day for the past...almost week? because of how scared and sad i’ve been. ;-; )

anyone who sent me an in character/headcannon/plot question the past couple of days bc, other than the girlies, it was the only source of real joy and enrichment i have felt while being scared...for my life. thank...you. Seriously. like y'all still care abt my fic? wowza!! o/u/o

( regarding memes, soz, they might not super exciting, i’m only doing lil spef HC ones rn & got a lil hyperfixated on rae, so i am doing that one abt his height / fave fruit.

<333 my lovely emo fruit salad celebpretty boy. c: )

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, i just wanted to say thank you to ANYONE WHO EXPRESSED CONCERN ABOUT MY WELL BEING OR SAID THEY MISSED ME OR WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME!!!!

'cause haha!!! you were NOT wrong, concern was not misplaced at all! I HATE THIS SCARY NIGHTMARE FUEL CHILDREN CONTAGION! :(

istg, my face has swollen up shrunken down, been every color, the pressure in my ears and nose and face is so bad that i feel like i am i an airplane rn....in my bedroom, every er dr. told me i had a sunburn and was an idiot, like actually king, i am green not red! get a real job!

siiiiiiiiigh...i just...:c i’ve never felt weaker, more miserable, more afraid, more UGLY and more lost in my entire life...

but i am grateful to have been found by readers and human beings as lovely as yourselves. i miss you. i love you. i'll try to be in touch as much as i can, but it will be touch and go, my body is a body bag rn :/

thank you for fighting the good fight, my darlings. whatever you are going through, KEEP FUCKING GOING. this is not the end. you are so much stronger than things that want to make you weak.

( i'm not very good at practicing what i preach, but ngl, kinda sick, literally, but i have basically been my own emergency makeshift whumpshot this past week and it has been gNARLY. like i have been...very scared. lmao. i am...still scared, but i'm gonna be okay. )

ANYWAYS ALL THIS TO SAY:

from what hurts or harms you,

past, present and future....

I HOPE YOU HEAL.

-sickfic body horror whumple nina <3