#I FELL TK THE FLOOR SHES SO HOT ????

[chocoenvy]

babel will ABSOLUTELY hold you at knifepoint with her elbow thing which is a) kinda hot ngl and b) requires less personal space than a standard knife. babel simp <-

Yes babel <333 me and Eros ran around for hours hunting the eremite women <333

Do I have a type for teasing pink haired people? ….nnnoo

ALSO FLOOR 12 CHAMBER 3… MY DREAM 👁

[alrightbuckaroo]

Thanks for the tags @jesuisici33, @strandnreyes, and @reyesstrand!

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you're most excited about.

Bear with me, this is a long one, most are listed under the cut

January

wedding bell blues

“I mean, how do we even bring it up?” Marjan asks, eyebrows furrowed. “Hey, sorry your engagement fell apart, by the way we brought Catan.” She shrugs. “Seems a little less than empathetic.”

leave all your worries on the dance floor

“Oh my god,” TK’s eyes widen. “Do I have two left feet?”

Carlos smiles sympathetically, “Baby, I thought you knew.”

you go your way I'll go your way too

“You sure you don’t want anything else to eat?” TK looks down at the bottle of water in Carlos’ hand. Carlos is sitting across from him, they’re in the sleeping quarters away of the firehouse away from everyone. Carlos hasn’t stopped thinking about it; he’s barely thinking about anything else right now. It’s at the forefront of his mind, begging to be let out. “Yeah, I’m fine, I already ate.” He doesn’t realize his slip up until he sees TK set his bag of chips down. “So you weren’t here for lunch.” TK’s using the voice he uses when he’s not mad, just confused.

February

we’re a match, in every way that matters

Carlos and TK are made for each other; they always kind of have been. Even if they didn't realize it at first.

when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing; remember this.

TK wakes up and Carlos isn't there; he doesn't know how he's lived like this before.

here comes a feeling you thought you'd forgotten

Carlos had spent years suppressing the feeling he never had a name for. Then he met TK Strand.

your love is sweet like sugar

TK wakes up to Carlos making breakfast. It's his first time waking up in Carlos' apartment, but he hopes it's not the last.

what is a promise if not your hand in mine?

TK might not wake up, and Carlos can’t even hold his hand. TK might not wake up, and all Carlos wants to do is hold his hand.

a shoulder to sigh on

Carlos has always carried it well; but that doesn't mean he has to carry it alone.

March

the music stopped but we went on dancing

Carlos has waited and waited for a day like today; but of course, something had to go oh so wrong.

you can count on me; i'll be there

Carlos is dealing with the stress of trying to become detective; TK becomes his biggest cheerleader any way that he can.

will you bee mine?

Carlos is teaching his third grade class when he gets stung by a bee; now it seems he has no choice but to finally visit the new school nurse, TK Strand.

some like it hot

TK is determined to win the fifth annual chili cook-off; the only person standing in his way is his long-time culinary rival, Carlos Reyes.

you drive me wild

TK has to ask Carlos if he can borrow the thing most precious to him. His car.

our love’s a protective poison

Gwyneth Morgan loves her son; that is an uncontested fact. Tyler Kennedy Stand is his father’s son; that is also, an uncontested fact. Gwyn loves her son, even though he has a tendency to act just like his father. Gwyn loves her son, even when he has a tendency to act just like his father.

i love you; i want us both to eat well

“How do you tell someone you love that they’re not good at something?” Carlos asks Nancy and Mateo. “I don’t know,” Mateo shrugs. “Nancy’s good at everything.” “Aw,” Nancy croons. “Babe, you’re so good at telling the truth.”

April

you've made so very happy

TK stabs his fork into a leafy green. “That was my friend, Cash. We’re having our high school reunion next month and one of the planning committee members dropped out last minute. He asked if I could fill in.” “You’re going to your high school reunion?” Marjan asks, wiping her fingers on her napkin. “You have a friend named Cash?” Paul is quick to follow up, both clearly focused on different things.

home is wherever i'm with you

Carlos says, “I love you” in so many different ways, and TK loves each and every one of them.

when life gives the lemons

Carlos starts, "So, I was in the neighborhood." TK’s eyebrows furrow, confused by what his husband is doing. “Carlos we’re married, we live together, this is our neighborhood. Why wouldn't you be here?” “Just go with it, babe.” Carlos says through a tired smile or TK is helping Jonah sell lemonade during a hot summer day. They're not having any luck with customers until Carlos decides to walk by.

this side of paradise

“It’s just, it’s our honeymoon.” Carlos explains. “Oh,” He can hear Grace perk up on the other end. “Where did you two decide to go? Cancun, Bali, Tuscany?” Grace draws out the y of Tuscany, hoping that’ll be the answer. “That’s the thing,” Carlos admits, “We haven’t.” “Oh.” He can hear Grace slightly deflate on the other end.

all my blood for the sweetness of his laugh

TK laughs and it sounds genuine and true. Carlos can’t help but smile, he feels like the sun has cracked open inside him. He feels a warmth inside himself that’s hot to the touch.

hooked on you

“Nancy,” Nancy looks up at the call of her name. TK is standing in front of her, both hands on his hips. Nancy releases a thin sigh. “Oh no.” Nancy knows what that pose means. TK’s upset. After finishing off the last sip of her coffee, Nancy asks. “What’s wrong?” “I’m upset.” TK announces as he takes space in the empty seat next to her.

May

i'd wait a million years for you

If you had told TK Strand that he would be marrying the love of his life in a place like Austin, Texas, he would have looked at you like you’d grown a second head. If you had told him that he would propose in the middle of the night, bed head and all, he would laugh and ask you, “Who do you think I am?”

June

anger has told me her real name is grief

Carlos is letting his grief manifest into anger; no matter how much he doesn't want it to.

a little taste of love

TK Strand, a florist working for the renowned flower shop, Bloom With a View, can't take his eyes off of Carlos Reyes, a baker working at Cake My Day, the bakery across the street.

July

as cute as a button

Andrea is taking TK down memory lane and they come across a koala named Kique, who happens to be missing one button eye.

we're a batch made in heaven

Carlos misses TK; so he does what he always does. Makes cookies.

August

all's fair in love and lizards

Love comes in many shapes and forms; and sometimes, that form is a stuffed novelty toy at a carnival game

summer slipped us underneath her tongue

TK Strand is a freshly heartbroken art history student who's been given the opportunity of a lifetime; studying art in the heart of it all, Paris, France. However, he thinks it's a cruel taunt from the universe. He's studying what he loves so much in the city of love but is stuck thinking there's no one out there who loves him. Carlos Reyes is a career driven culinary student studying at Le Cordon Bleu. He has hard time maintaining relationships, an even harder time of detaching himself from his work and and has an awful habit of doubting everything about himself. After a night out that they end up sharing with each other; they agree to keep any and all things casual. Well, like most things, that's easier said than done.

November

29 Going on 30

During a trip to New York City to celebrate TK turning 30, TK and Carlos stumble upon a list of things TK always wanted to do before he turned 30, all of them being references to romantic comedies he loved so much growing up. While TK is fine with leaving the past in the past, Carlos thinks there's no better time than the present. He thinks that TK deserves to feel the same type of love he loved watching on the silver screen, so he devotes the rest of their trip to just that. Told through a tale filled with everlasting love, a never-ending trek across New York City and the occasional painful reminder of the past, Carlos learns a little more about the city TK once called home and TK learns a little more about himself.

December

it was love at first sight

Carlos thinks love at first sight is nonsensical. Then he locks eyes with TK Strand.

the moment my heart fell

Carlos has never been more in love and it scares him. Each and every day, Carlos finds himself falling that much harder and he’s worried that one day he’ll reach the ground and never know how to get up again.

my world deeply stained by the color of you

Everything's vibrant, sparkling as if it's the debut of a color TK's never seen before. Pale grey doesn't cast over everything the way it used to and TK's afraid to close his eyes at the risk of never seeing the world's colors this way ever again.

no pressure tagging: @carlos-in-glasses, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @heartstringsduet, @freneticfloetry, @lightningboltreader, @orchidscript, @three-drink-amy, @bonheur-cafe, @ambiguouspenny, @never-blooms, @theghostofashton, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @sanjuwrites, @wandering-night19, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @rmd-writes , @welcometololaland and open tag to anyone who wants to share :)

[woodchoc-magnum]

Lone Star Hate Watch 3x02

Disclaimer: I hate the show, you love it - that's great, please don't read this, have a wonderful day!

Eddie Diaz for beautiful, calm, cleansing energy and here we go:

Spoiler alert - the show still fucking sucks

Ah they remembered the kid trapped under the ice

Oh shit the kid has asthma

I love that the kid just drops fucking cheetos all over the floor and mashes them into the carpet.

This is why I don't have kids. Only cats.

Asthma attack plus being trapped under the ice? That's a double banger right there

100% this kid should die right

Julie Benz – babe, you could do better than Owen Strand, I promise you

This dude's woken up in Owen Strand's house in fucking terror as Owen brandishes a hot poker at him

I think Judd should be a captain

"Those 126 boys really are something" oh godddd this show is so DUMB

Like genuinely I don't recall anyone in the OG being like "oh wow that 118 crew is so amazing" jfc

And I mean Buck and Eddie jumped between buildings and rescued a guy hanging from the back of a plane LIKE? Hello

Not to mention the whole tsunami deal but WHATEVER

EDDIE SCALED A FERRIS WHEEL

And no one was like "oh wow the 118 WOW they're so amazing oh my god"

Anyway, re the boy in the ice – I'm at the part where they call 911 and Grace is talking to them, and here's what I think is going to be the explanation for how this child is inexplicably still alive. He was having an asthma attack when he fell into the water, which closed his airways, which meant he didn't breathe in any water which meant he didn't drown. And there'll also be some kind of bullshit about how the freezing water slowed his heartbeat or something.

BUT that doesn't explain how you can survive in sub-zero water with no oxygen to your brain for any length of time but it's Lone Star and of course nothing ever makes sense

You know the longer you clowns stand around talking about how TK was a firefighter in New York, the longer the kid is trapped under the ice and he should be dead already. Just saying.

Look I'm sorry but that kid should be dead.

And I feel like I'm supposed to be curious about why this guy in Owen's house was shot and stabbed but I really don't care

Other than hoping that he shoots and stabs Owen I guess

I know people were talking about how this was a good episode but I've literally just checked the time and I'm only ten minutes in

Which means I have another 30 minutes of this hard-to-watch, bad snow effect TV show

I guess maybe if you like, care about the characters, you might be invested? But I just don't care about any of them (except Judd and Grace, Billy and now Julie Benz)

Oh I also forgot that Marjan crashed her car in last week's episode, so guessing she's still trapped in there

I'm also supposed to be working and instead doing this, so... yeah.

This Paul trapped in a collapsed building storyline is very reminiscent to me of Hen trapped in a building in Season 2

(which was way better because I could actually see what was going on)

God the earthquake in Season 2 was fucking great, wasn't it? Buck and Eddie scaling the building, Hen getting trapped, Bobby and Chimney trying to rescue her, that guy falling out the window and splattering on the pavement… 10/10 absolute banger

How the fuck is this kid possibly still alive

I love this scene of TK hitting ineffectually at the ice, can't wait until he falls in

HAHA he just fell in

Is it too much to hope that TK dies

It is, right

I love these two onlookers are just letting Tommy and Nancy pull TK and the kid free and are doing absolutely nothing to help

"you're not dead until you're warm and dead"…. Yeah I'm thinking my theory on this is going to be 100% correct

Lindsay babe you are so damn hard on yourself

My god girl

I don't care about any of this mopey bullshit

Oh please let it collapse again

Now the water pipes have burst which means they could freeze and also drown? No they stopped it so no drowning, just freezing

"Survival window went to minutes" then WHAT ABOUT THE KID UNDER THE ICE HUH

I just feel like a lot of my thoughts on this episode and the first one have been a lot of worrying about the kid under the ice

The show is interesting, and then it shifts to Owen and completely falls flat again

Now the guy with the bullet wound, who was terribly traumatised by Owen branding him with a hot poker, has escaped

I just think the snow effect makes the show look even more washed out than usual

Nobody has done literally anything to help TK at this point

I hope he dies

I just think this kid should be dead.

He's been under the ice for like an hour you guys, he should be fucking dead

But OF COURSE HE ISN'T

And the show's like "the kid's fine" but then TK is going to almost die

"Where's TK" oh here we go

Now Paul is making the poor girl strip

You know as much as I hate the heat in summer, I'm really thankful that snow is not something that I will ever have to worry about

I miss the OG

I miss Eddie Diaz

TK's out wandering in the fucking snow like an Abominable Snowman

HE HAS HYPOTHERMIA YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

HE'S NAKED

HE'S FUCKING NAKED

THIS IS SO DUMB

HE'S GOT THE SNOW BRAIN SCRAMBLIES

(off topic but there's this line in the excellent 1999 movie "Armageddon" that makes me laugh every time and this scene reminded me of it - when they're on the asteroid and Steve Buscemi goes crazy and starts shooting everything up with a machine gun (yeah it's a fucking GREAT MOVIE you guys), Bruce Willis says, in all seriousness - "He's got space dementia." And I really think that line applies to TK here - "He's got snow dementia.")

Like I know you guys were saving the kid but like, he really needed some attention as well, is all I'm saying

You know when people talk about Buck getting whumped on the OG, this is what they want

And the OG has never done this to Buck

Like we couldn't handle it if Buck was naked on the OG, we would all spontaneously combust and Tumblr would meltdown

That's why people like this episode, because everyone's in danger and TK is getting whumped again, like he does in literally every single season

I'm not saying he's a Mary Sue damsel-in-distress, but I'm also not NOT saying that

I'm 30 minutes in, we're nearly at the end

I'd laugh if the jackhammering caused the building to collapse

And now Paul's passed out

Hey Marjan is still trapped in her car I guess

Oh god the thing that pisses Paul off is that they CLOSED THE 126 are you FUCKING SERIOUS

If I eyeroll any harder I'm going to get eye cramps

Fucking complain all you want about 5a of the OG but I still prefer that to this schmaltzy CRAP

I'm so bored.

By the end of this episode we'll have Paul with hypothermia, TK with hypothermia, Owen lost in the wilderness (probably with hypothermia) and Marjan trapped in her car (potentially with hypothermia)

Judd and Grace, loves of my life

Judd is the best, most devoted husband

Oh here's Marjan, still trapped in her car

Now she's gonna get hypothermia

I've typed "hypothermia" more in this than I ever have in my entire life

Now Owen's fallen down a small incline

And HE'S going to get hypothermia

Oh the kid in the ice is going to make a full recovery, well, no fucking shit Sherlock - also they give absolutely no explanation for this so my theory still stands

TK's in a coma I guess

I hope he dies

I hope Owen dies too

Maybe the show would actually be worth watching without the Strands

Owen's in a barn with a bunch of immigrants, if this turns out to be some kind of white saviour shit in the next episode I swear to god

And he doesn't know that TK is in hospital but honestly, he barely remembers that TK is his son at the best of times so I'm not really sure that's going to matter too much to him

I don't care about any of this

Oh the guy Owen rescued has a gun and he's the bad guy and I don't care.

In summation - this show sucks and I don't care.

I'm also always really surprised when I read stuff like "oh this was actually a really good episode!" like in comparison to what though? Because they all suck. This show is terrible. It's just stealing from the OG at this point.

Hit predictions - TK wakes up with Carlos by his side, they reconcile after a few episodes, the 126 is saved, Owen rescues all those illegal immigrants... yeah. It's going to be so fucking great.

Eddie Diaz to cleanse:

[rafael-silva]

lean into me, I’ll catch you: a tarlos fic

The 126 paramedics get called to the scene of a bar fight, tension rising during the drive. The chaotic scene is cluttered with police presence, TK spotting Carlos’s patrol car upon arrival. Once inside the bar, TK gets thrown a sudden and painful curveball.

for bad things happen bingo: tarlos + hidden scar

hurt carlos reyes, worried tk strand, paramedic tk, hurt/comfort, emotional/hurt comfort, kisses, whump, comfort, angst with a happy ending

6.5k | rated T | on ao3

*****

The call comes in a little after lunch.

The crew had just finished cleaning up, all of them hanging out in the common area, keeping busy with various activities. Tommy is chatting with Judd in the corner, while TK, sitting on the kitchen counter, is engaged with Nancy in their own conversation. They restocked the ambulance after their last call and after making sure everything was on track there, relaxed and fell into an easy exchange filled with their usual playful banter and quirky back and forth. TK laughs at one of Nancy’s statements, his eyes wrinkling at the corners which elicits an equally hearty laugh from his partner.

Then the bell goes off, calling the paramedics to a scene of a bar fight with multiple injuries. TK hops off the counter and he and Nancy meet Tommy in the ambulance bay, TK sliding into the driver’s seat, Nancy into the passenger one, Tommy closing the doors behind her as she gets into the back. The sirens blare loudly as TK presses down on the gas petal and drives towards the heart of downtown Austin.

Halfway into their trip, the ambo radio springs to life.

“Be advised,” a dispatcher starts, “incoming report of an officer injured on scene.”

“Copy that,” Nancy replies into her radio. “We’re five minutes out.”

She looks over at TK and notices his grip on the steering wheel tightening and his facial expression hardens as he squares his jaw at the new information. She knows what’s going through his mind.

“We don’t know that it’s him,” Nancy says in a low, calm voice.

TK replies with a firm nod, swallowing. Having no further information on the identity of the injured officer or how bad the injury is, TK feels his head spiral towards the worst case scenario.

Silence falls upon the rig, the atmosphere turning sharp and tense and TK makes no indication of speaking or doing anything besides driving, really, his focus solely on arriving at the scene.

He tries his hardest to control his thoughts, but all the what ifs tug at him and feed into his fear of losing Carlos. He wills his heart to stop thumping against his ribcage as he rounds the corner, the bar in sight now. They’re so close, yet it feels eternities away.

TK parks next to a couple of other ambulances that have responded, the common red and blue lights bouncing off the buildings around. TK jumps out, making quick work of grabbing the medkit as Nancy shoulders the lifepak and Tommy emerges from the back. He’s fast on his feet, making his way through the bystanders and police presence and into the bar, Tommy and Nancy hot on his heels.

The scene is chaos, and it’s almost like a tornado had ripped through the bar. Broken chairs scattered around the space, turned tables, shattered pieces of glass littering the ground, crunching underneath TK’s boots as he strides in.

He pushes all that aside, heart hammering in his chest again as he holds his breath, and having seen Carlos’s patrol car outside moments ago, immediately scans the wrecked place for the officer.

Relief floods his body when his eyes land on Carlos standing with Officer Mitchell near the bar stools, both of them talking to two men, one wearing a red jacket and the other a baseball hat, as the officers attempt to calm them down and diffuse the situation. What little relief TK felt is quickly replaced with concern then, reading the tension in the air and knowing that his boyfriend is quite literally in the middle of it.

It appears those two men are the origin of the havoc, judging by the amount of cops hovering near them, taking statements from people around. TK notices how Carlos’s shoulders are rigid and his face stern as he speaks, sharing a fast look with his partner before returning his attention to the man in front of him.

TK looks away for a moment, to where the other officer is injured and that second is all it takes for a roar to erupt behind him and all hell breaks loose again.

TK isn’t exactly sure what happened as he turns around, but Mitchell jumps into action to keep Mr. Baseball Hat back while Mr. Red Jacket yells heatedly at the other man, scrambling to free himself from Carlos’s hold.

It takes TK’s mind a second to catch up with what’s happening and his heart sinks further seeing Carlos in the middle of the brawl.

TK wants to push through and pull Carlos to safety but he’s suddenly aware of a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in place. He doesn’t need to look to know that it’s Tommy. She most likely had read his mind, his team knowing him so well by now, as she anchors him next to her.

TK is vaguely aware of Nancy saying she’ll check over the hurt officer, but his eyes never leave Carlos, watching with drawn eyebrows as his boyfriend attempts to move Mr. Red Jacket backwards to separate to two angry men. He feels helpless standing there, although he knows deep down that he can’t get involved in the middle of this fight, that he doesn’t have the training for this, he wishes there were something he could do to protect Carlos. To make sure Carlos is okay and safe.

TK trusts that Carlos can handle himself, but it still doesn’t make this situation any easier. The two men don’t appear to be slowing down, fueled by rage and adrenaline, it appears that they’re overpowering Carlos and Mitchell.

Officers rush over to aid Carlos and Mitchell, but they reach them a little too late. TK feels his heart drop as he watches his boyfriend’s face morph into a wince, his eyebrows drawing together and eyes going wide at a realization. Carlos is momentarily frozen in place as the two men are taken down around him. But he doesn’t move after, blinking slowly now. And that’s the thing that keeps TK on edge.

TK himself stunned, remains in place, his eyes moving with Carlos as the taller man searches the crowd, eyes hazy, not really looking for anything in particular. But TK sees a spark of recognition when Carlos’s eyes eventually land on him.

TK can tell that Carlos relaxes ever so slightly, his brown eyes meeting TK’s worried green ones. The world narrows to the both of them, the sounds around them mute, movements in slow motion, and TK tries his hardest to understand what just happened. Because something isn’t right, Carlos not having moved an inch and is seemingly unaware of what’s happening around him. TK sees Mitchell speak to Carlos over her shoulder as she hauls Mr. Baseball Hat away, but Carlos makes no indication of having heard her.

And then TK gets his answer, catching the slow movement of Carlos’s hand moving to his stomach, and TK’s eyes widen at the large patch staining the officer’s uniform there.

It all clicks together then.

Stab wound, TK’s mind supplies.

The paramedic is all too aware of his quick breathing now, and his heart dropping into his knees as he watches Carlos sway dangerously to the side as he loses his balance, the patch getting bigger with each passing second.

And the way Carlos’s arm weakly reaches out towards him has TK springing into action, fleeing from Tommy’s hold as he pushes through the crowd to catch Carlos.

“Carlos is hurt!” He yells over his shoulder to his Captain, his heart in his throat now.

TK gets to Carlos just as he’s tumbling forward towards the dirty floor. TK drops his equipment as both arms instantly reach out to steady the officer, Carlos falling against his chest but TK, ready for the impact, keeps their balance as he takes on Carlos’s weight.

“Hey, hey,” TK says softly. “I got you, I got you.”

TK gently lowers Carlos down, the sudden appearance of the paramedic and Carlos nearly toppling over capturing the attention of the officers around as they regain their collective breath from handling the two men.

“Reyes?” TK hears someone call from above as he places his palm over Carlos’s stomach and applies pressure, receiving a groan from Carlos.

That grabs Mitchell’s attention and she turns around, grip still on the man and her eyes go big at seeing TK and her partner on the floor. She hands him off to another officer before she’s rushing to their side.

“Carlos! What the hell happened?” She asks TK, her voice filled with shock.

“He’s been stabbed,” TK replies, eyes not leaving Carlos’s face, who’s growing paler by the second. “Hang on, Carlos. You’re okay, just hang on.”

Before anyone else can speak, Tommy’s voice echoes.

“Coming through!”

TK only looks up then, seeing Tommy and Nancy crouch next to them and open the medical bags.

His attention back on Carlos, TK’s breath catches in his throat when he sees Carlos looking at him, eyes glassy, doing his best to focus on TK.

“TK?” Carlos breaths, his voice frail, almost afraid that he’s imagining the paramedic.

“Yeah, I’m here, I’m right here,” TK is quick to comfort him, reading between the lines.

TK gives Carlos the best smile he could muster, hoping it’s not as shaky as it feels to him.

“Hurts,” Carlos wheezes, shutting his eyes when he feels added pressure on the wound.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, babe,” TK replies. “We gotta control this bleeding.”

Carlos sighs, face rolling to the side as he peels his eyelids open, finding TK again amidst the fog that is his vision.

The blood seeping through his fingers bring tears to TK’s eyes, and he swallows against his dry throat, trying to keep the tears at bay. It feels like Carlos is slipping from him, and he’s overcome with so much fear, visible in the shaking of his hands. His whole body feels like it’s on fire, heart racing and sweat rolling down his neck and back. He shakes himself out of it, knowing he has to stay strong and calm, for Carlos’s sake.

“You’re okay,” TK sniffs. “Stay with me, baby. Focus on me.”

“Always…you,” Carlos murmurs.

“TK, I need you to remove your hands for a moment,” Tommy instructs.

He meets her gaze with wide eyes, frantically shaking his head.

“I can’t—he’ll—he’ll lose more blood, I have to keep applying pressure,” TK responds, a tear escaping his eye.

“I’ll be quick,” Tommy promises. “I need to inspect the wound.”

After a moment, TK reluctantly pulls his hands back, immediately taking note of how Carlos’s face relaxes a little once the pressure is removed.

TK holds his breath, hand finding Carlos’s and gives it a squeeze, a reassurance that he’s right by his side. Carlos uses all the energy he could muster to return the squeeze.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” TK says as Tommy works, Nancy taking Carlos’s vitals.

Once Nancy finishes and reports Carlos’s numbers, which are low, she hands TK a large piece of gauze and then secures the IV line she started, prepping Carlos for transport.

“Okay,” Tommy nods once she’s done, moving back and TK doesn’t waste a second in covering Carlos’s wound with the gauze and pushing down.

The almost lack of response from Carlos is alarming, and TK looks at Tommy with broad glistening eyes, fear radiating from his green irises.

“He’s going into shock. We need to move now,” Tommy instructs.

A gurney seems to materialize next to them out of thin air, but TK minds no attention to where it came from as he and a couple of other officers lift Carlos off the ground and onto the gurney. The crowd parts as they move, TK keeping constant pressure on Carlos’s abdomen. Mitchell trails closely behind them, clutching her radio as she speaks into it.

They push Carlos into the ambulance, Tommy following and TK getting in after her.

“I’ll meet you at the hospital,” Mitchell tells TK.

He nods as Nancy slams the doors shut and races to the driver’s seat.

The ride to the hospital is agonizing. TK watches as the oxygen mask Tommy placed over Carlos’s face fogs and clears with each weak breath he draws in, his face ashen and skin clammy to TK’s touch. The bleeding had slowed down a little, but there’s no way of knowing what kind of damage has been done internally.

Tommy discards the blood soaked gauze in favor of a fresh one, placing it over Carlos’s stomach and the pressures earns them a hiss from Carlos.

“You’re okay, babe, you’re okay,” TK says, running his thumb along Carlos’s knuckles. “We’re almost at the hospital, everything is going to be just fine.”

“Tired,” Carlos’s voice filters through the mask.

“I know, but you gotta say awake. Can you do that for me, baby?”

Carlos would do anything for TK, so he obliges with a small nod. He sucks in a wobbly breath, and lets it out slowly, eyes latched onto TK. There’s so much worry and fear engraved into TK’s forehead, the height of his fright on full display and Carlos wants to ease that pain and wants to wash away TK’s panic. So he gives TK his best smile, its small and uneven but TK understands.

“You’re okay,” TK nods.

They reach the hospital a few minutes later, the ambulance coming to a halt at the Emergency entrance and the doors are torn open a moment later.

It’s a fury of action from there, Tommy and TK pushing the gurney as Carlos fights against the darkness threatening to take over. He’s semi-aware of Tommy passing the information to the medical team as he’s being wheeled through the hospital hallway, then he directs all his attention to feeling TK’s hold on his hand, warm and steady, strong and reassuring. He sees TK’s face in his line of vision a few seconds later, he’s speaking but the sound doesn’t reach Carlos’s ears.

Then TK’s face is gone as quickly as it had appeared, along with his grounding hold.

A shiver runs through Carlos’s body and he realizes just how cold he is at the loss of TK’s touch. It’s the last thing he’s aware of as he loses the battle with the impending darkness, his eyes slowly slipping shut.

TK feels a piece of his heart being violently torn from him watching the team wheel Carlos away and into an elevator, taking him straight to surgery.

The doctor had reassured them they’ll do everything they can for Carlos, and those words weigh heavily on TK’s shoulders. He knows nothing is guaranteed, knows no promises can be made.

His head falls forward, his chin hitting his chest as he pleads and pleads that Carlos’s time isn’t up, that Carlos won’t be ripped away from him. Because this can’t be Carlos’s end, this can’t be their end. They’ve only just begin, there’s still so much he wants to do with Carlos, so much he wants to see and experience with him.

TK pleads that the I love you he just spoke won’t be the last time, or the last thing, he tells Carlos.

TK is looking at the elevator long after the doors have closed and he feels a hand land on his shoulder, the same way it had earlier at the bar.

“Come on, TK,” Tommy’s speaks in her motherly tone. “They said we can go to the waiting room on the surgical floor.”

TK nods, but makes no indication of movement. It’s when he sees Tommy and Nancy move towards the elevator that he does move, but in the direction of the stairs.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll take the stairs,” he says.

“Okay,” Tommy nods. “The stairs it is.”

TK turns to see Mitchell rushing over, and she quickly notices the drop in the paramedic’s shoulders.

“Is he…”

“They just took him to surgery,” TK tells her.

She nods, the concern for her partner clear on her face.

They climb the floors in silence, the echo of their boots on each step the only sound until they reach the surgical floor, easily finding the waiting room near the nurse’s station. They file in, TK dropping into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs and resting his elbows on his tights. He leans forward, his hands folding into each other and he closes his eyes, sucking in a deep breath.

He opens them and stares at his hand a few moments later, his stomach churning unnaturally at all the blood coating his skin, Carlos’s blood. He shudders and looks up when a few wet wipes appear in his vision.

Nancy is standing in front of him, holding them out with a sympathetic expression on her face. He gratefully accepts them and starts wiping the blood, the wipes turning pink with each stroke.

Once he’s finished, Nancy disposes the wipes in the trash, returning and taking a seat next to her partner. TK’s leg starts bouncing, his nervous energy palpable and evident in his movements and in the way he worries his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I, uh,” TK breaks the silence, his voice small and low. “I need to call Carlos’s parents. I’ll be right back,” he gets up and walks out of the room, and with one more look in the direction of the operating rooms, makes his way downstairs and outside.

The sun is still hanging high in the sky when TK steps out of the emergency room entrance. It hasn’t been an hour since the paramedics arrived at the bar, but it feels like it's been a lifetime for him. It’s hot and the atmosphere is sticky with humidity, his Austin Fire t-shirt under his uniform clinging uncomfortably to his body.

He fishes his phone out of his pocket and opts to sit down on a nearby bench, opening his phone contacts and finding Andrea’s. His finger hovers over her name for a few moments as he steadiest himself, bringing the phone up to his ear once it starts ringing.

The line comes to life after a few rings, and the words get caught in TK’s throat.

“TK!” Andrea greets, her voice cheery and upbeat. “How are you, amor?”

“Mrs. Reyes,” TK starts and then pauses, letting out a shaky sigh. “Andrea…”

Andrea immediately picks up on TK’s broken tone, the concern hugging her next words. “TK, are you okay?”

“Yes, ma’am, I’m okay, it’s…” TK’s voice quivers. “It’s Carlos. He…we were on a call and he got hurt.”

“Dios mio,” Andrea breaths out and TK can hear hustling in the background now. “What happened?”

“It all happened so quickly…we got called to a bar fight, and PD was already there, and Carlos and his partner were talking to two men. It seems like the fight was over but it suddenly started again and Carlos was in the middle of it,” TK sniffs, letting the tears run down his face. “We’re at the hospital now, I don’t—I can’t—” he hiccups.

“Breathe, TK. Take a breath,” Andrea guides him.

TK can hear the strength in Andrea’s voice, but he can also tell it wavers a little, the worry apparent alongside the steadiness.

“I’m sorry,” TK recovers. “I’m okay.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, TK. And Carlitos will be okay, too,” Andrea replies. “He’s strong.”

TK holds onto her words with everything he’s got. He knows those words are for him, just as much as they are for her, as well.

TK nods, and it momentarily slips his mind that Andrea can’t see him. “Yes, ma’am. He’s the strongest person I know.”

“That’s it,” Andrea says. “Now tell me, which hospital are you at?”

TK returns to the waiting room after hanging up with Andrea, his eyes going a little wide with surprise when Owen and Judd get to their feet at his reappearance.

“Dad? Judd? What…” “I called them,” Tommy supplies from her seat. “It goes without saying that you’re off duty now, and we thought Owen should be with you.”

“But doesn’t your shift start soon?” Owen shakes his head. “I’m staying right here, Judd’s going to be Acting Captain during this shift.”

Deflated and drained, TK doesn’t find it in him to argue.

“I was on the phone with Judd when Tommy called and when I told him,” Owen starts.

“I wanted to be here to see how you were holding up, and to be here for Carlos, too,” Judd continues.

A ghost of a smile passes over TK’s face. “Thanks, Judd. That means everything.”

“Always, brother,” Judd replies, wrapping TK in a warm embrace.

TK feels like a little boy in Judd’s arms, holding onto the Texan and drawing strength from him. Judd tightens his grip on TK, knowing the younger man needs it and pats him on the shoulder a few times. TK nods against Judd’s shoulder in understanding.

*****

“I’m sorry.”

TK frowns, turning to face the source of the words.

“What are you talking about?” TK asks Mitchell.

They’ve been alone for twenty minutes; Judd had to leave for shift, while Tommy and Nancy got a call soon after and left, but not before TK promising to call or text if he needs anything and to update them on Carlos’s condition. Owen had left a little after that, on a quest to find food. Which had left TK and Mitchell sitting in silence.

“This is all my fault,” Mitchell shakes her head. “I didn’t see it, I was right there and…I let Carlos down, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, no,” TK gets up from his seat and moves to the one next to her. “This wasn’t your fault, and you didn’t let him down. I know you always have his back, and that makes it a little easier watching him go to work every day. This…this is only one person’s fault, and it’s that man’s who intentionally hurt Carlos.”

Mitchell’s gaze remains on the floor, unable to look into TK’s eyes. “I was right there,” she repeats. “I should have seen it. I was right next to him. I can’t help but wonder if I had just been quicker…”

“It was chaos, everything was happening so quickly and it was a blur. I don’t even think Carlos saw it coming. It…came out of nowhere,” TK sighs. “I was watching you both and I looked away for one second, and I keep wondering if I just hadn’t looked away…maybe I would have seen it,” he confesses. “I was further away, maybe I would have caught it. The man moving to grab the knife or something.”

Mitchell does raise her head then and looks at TK, finding identical unshed tears in his eyes as in hers.

TK sighs again. “The truth is, what ifs aren’t going to help us now, and they won’t make this any easier. They’ll just drive us down a spiral that has no end, trust me, I know. All we have to focus on now is Carlos. He’s going to be okay.” TK turns to look out into the nearly empty hallway. “He has to be,” he whispers.

He sees Mitchell nod from the corner of his eye.

Mitchell was gone by the time Owen returns, carrying a couple of brown paper bags and three cups of what TK can tell is iced tea.

Owen frowns when he only sees his son there. “Where did Officer Mitchell go?”

“She had to leave, their Captain called. He needed her at the precinct to take her statement about what happened,” TK answers. “She’ll be back as soon as she can.”

Owen nods, setting everything on the table in the middle of the room and hands TK a cold cup.

“Thanks,” TK gratefully accepts the beverage and takes a small sip, reveling the coolness running down his parched throat.

“You should eat something,” Owen gestures to the paper bags.

“Maybe in a little bit, I’m not really hungry,” TK shakes his head.

Owen purses his lips but doesn’t push, instead he settles for a nod and a gentle pat to TK’s shoulder.

TK is nearly done with his iced tea when hurried footsteps break the drape of silence that had fallen on him and his father.

He looks up and sees Andrea through the glass window, a moment before she’s stepping into the room, her handbag clutched tightly at her side, brown eyes wide and face heavy with worry.

“TK, Owen,” she pants as both men get to their feet. “Any news yet?”

Owen shakes his head. “He’s been in there a while, we should be getting an update soon.”

Andrea nods and throws a glance over her shoulder in the direction of the big swinging doors. She sighs, turning back to look at TK, but he isn’t looking at her.

Instead, TK is looking down at his hands hanging in the air at his middle, busying themselves as he anxiously runs his fingers over each other.

“TK,” Andrea says softly as she approaches him. “Look at me, amor.”

Slowly, TK lifts his gaze to Andrea’s, a tear rolling down his cheek.

She gives him a small, sad smile and cups his face, wiping away the fallen tear. “It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

That’s all it takes for the dam inside TK to break, a sob tearing from his throat as his body shakes with the force of his tears.

“Come here,” Andrea whispers, placing her hand at the nape of TK’s neck and gently pulls him towards her.

He goes easily, returning the embrace as she wraps him in a hug and soothingly runs her other hand up and down his back.

“I got to him as fast as I could,” TK says, voice muffled against Andrea’s blouse.

“I know in my heart you did everything for our Carlitos,” Andrea replies as she pulls back, but keeps TK close.

“I wish,” he sniffs. “I wish I could have done more.”

“From what Tommy told me,” Owen’s voice comes from behind them, “you did everything in your power for him, TK. You saved his life.”

TK drops his head. “If I had seen the knife…maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation right now. Carlos would be safe, not in surgery.”

“You can’t put that weight on your shoulders, TK,” Andrea says.

TK then realizes that Andrea doesn't know the details of what happened. He meets her eyes and after a moment, explains. “He was…stabbed in the middle of that fight. I was far away from it, I didn’t take my eyes off him the whole time but I looked away for one second and that’s all it took. Maybe if I hadn’t looked away…”

Andrea is shaking her head, a tear sliding down her face but she keeps her attention on TK. “You got to him as quick as you can, remember? I hate that Carlitos got hurt, it aches my heart, but I’m glad you were right there, and I’m glad it was you, that you were by his side, doing whatever needed to be done to make sure he comes out of this okay. From what I’m hearing, it’s true, you saved my mijo, TK. And he’s going to pull through.”

TK nods and moves in for another hug, he and Andrea taking comfort and support from each other, leaning on one another. Their strong hold on each other is the only thing keeping them from shattering right then and there.

***** The silence, save for the beeping of the heart monitor, is eerie and daunting in Carlos’s hospital room.

TK’s been sitting by Carlos’s bedside for a little over ten minutes, but he hasn’t been able to utter a single word since falling into the chair situated by the bed.

It was two agonizing hours after Andrea’s arrival that a very exhausted doctor entered the waiting room and called for the family of Carlos Reyes. Perhaps TK’s silence had something to do with him still digesting the doctor’s report.

It was touch and go for a while but he made it through. Significant blood loss. Concerns about infection. Low blood pressure. Part of the colon was perforated but was successfully repaired. Jagged entry. Will leave a scar. Expected to make a full recovery with time.

TK focuses on the expected to make a full recovery portion of the report, not daring to believe any other outcome. It’s difficult, though, watching Carlos so still in front of him. The officer is a calm sleeper, but there are always small movements here and there, a soft sigh, a little twist and turn, an arm thrown over TK’s middle that pulls him close, and the absence of any of those movements is unnatural. Even his breathing is different.

TK takes small comfort in the fact that Carlos is breathing on his own, but it’s nothing like how he breaths while sleeping in their bed. The rhythm beats to a different drum, it’s not relaxed and peaceful in this hospital bed, it’s strained and on edge.

TK steadiest himself,  reaching out and taking Carlos’s hand into his own, giving it a light squeeze, hoping the officer can feel it.

“Hi, baby,” TK starts but abruptly stops, taken a little aback by how gruff and heavy his voice sounds. He clears his throat before speaking again. “I’m right here, and you’re okay. The doctor told us everything went well and that you’ll be back on your feet in no time. Your mom is here, in the waiting room and your dad will be here soon, too. I…I really need you to pull through, babe. I need you. And I miss you. Come back to me, ‘Los,” TK brushes a soft kiss to Carlos’s forehead.

TK can’t help the disappointment that brews in his gut when he doesn’t get a response.

A gentle knock an hour later breaks TK from his haze, he looks to the door and sees Andrea and Gabriel standing there, meeting TK’s eyes for a moment before they drift to their son.

“Mr. and Mrs. Reyes, please come in,” TK says as he gets to his feet, hand still holding onto Carlos’s.

“How’s he doing?” Gabriel asks, his usual strong voice a little frail and low. The Ranger’s shoulders are fallen, too.

“He’s hanging in there,” TK reassures him. “His vitals are holding and he’s regaining color, all good signs.”

Andrea nods, stepping closer to the bed and cards her fingers through Carlos’s curls.

TK doesn’t want to leave Carlos’s side, but he knows his parents want and need some time with their son. Making up his mind, he looks at Andrea and then Gabriel.

“Please stay for as long as you need,” TK says. “I’ll go home to freshen up, change and pack a bag for Carlos and I.”

“TK…” Andrea tries but TK is quick to gently shake his head.

“You need some time with him,” he says with a small smile. “And I’m sure he’d love to hear your voices.” TK leans down and plants a kiss to Carlos’s cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit, babe.”

Gabriel squeezes TK’s shoulder when he walks by him, and TK replies with a nod in understanding, smile still on his face.

“And TK,” Andrea speaks before TK leaves the room. “Please try to eat something, too. You barely touched the food your father bought earlier.”

“Yes,” Gabriel agrees. “You have to keep your strength up, for your sake and for Carlitos’s. To take care of him.”

TK gives them another nod and his smile widens a little. With a last glance at Carlos, he leaves.

*****

The sun is climbing in the sky when it happens.

TK had given up on sleep, opting to walk around the room for a while to stretch his tired muscles before settling back in the chair next to Carlos’s bed. He’s scrolling aimlessly through his Instagram feed when his eyes catch the movement.

At first, he thinks his brain is playing a trick on him. Or maybe it’s the not sleeping. But then it happens again, and that has TK sitting up straight in his place, leaning forward towards Carlos.

“Carlos? Baby, can you hear me?” TK speaks, his voice a little rough around the edges.

He holds his breath as he watches Carlos wrinkle his nose, as he sometimes does before waking up. A few moments pass and then Carlos is slowly opening his eyes, finding TK’s through his blurry vision.

“TK?” Carlos whispers, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah, I’m here, baby, I’m right here,” TK smiles at his boyfriend, eyes beginning to fill with tears. “You’re okay.”

TK reaches out and cups Carlos’s face, tenderly caressing his cheek. A tear rolls down TK’s face when Carlos leans into his touch, and feeling Carlos’s warmth against his skin lights up the flame inside him, the one that was dimmed the moment Carlos got hurt.

“What…” Carlos trails off as he swallows.

“You got hurt on a call, babe, but you’re okay now. You’re safe. I’m right here, I got you,” TK reassures him.

“You…always do,” Carlos gives TK the strongest smile he could muster.

“And I always will,” TK promises. “Get some more rest, baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up again.”

Carlos nods weakly. “I love you,” he expresses as his eyes begin to close.

“I love you, too,” TK reciprocates, bringing Carlos’s hand up to his lips and brushes a kiss to his knuckles.

And for the first time since he watched Carlos sway at that bar, TK can finally properly breathe.

*****

“Looking good, babe,” TK smiles from where he’s standing in the doorway of their bedroom, leaning against the doorframe.

Carlos smiles back, catching TK’s eyes in the mirror in front of him.

“Fits the same,” Carlos says, adjusting his name tag pinned to his uniform.

TK nods and steps into the bedroom, walking over to his boyfriend and wraps his arms around his middle from behind, pulling him into his chest.

Carlos leans back, placing his arms over TK’s as TK rests his chin on the officer’s shoulder.

They watch each other in the mirror as a comfortable silence settles over them and then TK moves his head slightly to place a kiss to Carlos’s clothed shoulder.

Then TK’s eyes roam down to Carlos’s stomach and he can almost see the hidden scar underneath the layers of Carlos’s uniform.

“I’ll be fine, Ty,” Carlos whispers, knowing very well where TK’s thoughts are taking him. “Everything checked out and I’ve been cleared for active duty.”

TK nods, but his eyes remain fixed where they are, and now TK can see the scar in his mind, etched into his memory along with the fear of almost losing the love of his life.

It’s his day off, and TK had hoped he’d be working the day Carlos went back into the field, just for the possibility of seeing him on calls and making sure he was okay with his own eyes.

The weeks following Carlos’s injury weren’t easy, for either of them. A bad infection had set in shortly after Carlos had woken up, which warranted a few more days at the hospital. Once the infection was treated, Carlos was cleared to go home, with strict instructions to take it slow and easy and  to have someone with him for at least the first week of his recovery. TK took time off, staying by Carlos’s side, and still shaken up himself, didn’t stray far for both their sakes. He, too, needing to make sure Carlos was okay, that the worst was over and behind them.

He had to return to work eventually, Carlos constantly telling him that I’ll be okay, I’ll call if I need anything. I don’t want to keep you from work, from people who need your help more than I do now. Which TK promptly replied to with I’m exactly where I want and need to be, babe.

TK and Andrea worked out a schedule a week later, to make sure Carlos was always taken care of and someone was close by as he healed.

Carlos did eventually begin to lean on others and to ask for help when he needed it throughout his recovery, which made Andrea and TK breathe a little easier.

It was hard for TK to leave him, his mind constantly on Carlos when they weren’t on a call. He always looked forward to going home to Carlos and taking him into his arms.

After a few trips to the doctor’s and reassurances that Carlos was healing up well, he was assigned to desk duty. He wasn’t the biggest fan of it but he was glad it meant one step closer to getting back into the field.

TK had his own reserves about that, trying to breach the conversation with Carlos but the words seemed to always stop in his throat. Until one night, while cuddling on the couch watching a movie, the words just spilled out of TK’s mouth.

I’m scared for you. I’ve always been scared for you but that day…I mean, knowing it could happen and actually seeing it happen are two different things and babe…

Carlos understood. I know how scary it was that day. I was scared. And there are no guarantees, in both our lines of work. I can’t promise that nothing is going to happen, but I can and will promise that I will always fight my hardest to come home to you. Every day.

After a final check up and a physical exam, Carlos was cleared for active duty two weeks later.

Which is how they find themselves wrapped in each other’s embrace, Carlos getting ready for his first shift back out there.

“Just…be careful, please,” TK says, lifting his eyes to meet Carlos’s beautiful brown ones.

Carlos breaks out of TK’s hold then, turning around to face the younger man and takes his face gently into his hands, both thumbs running over his cheekbones.

“I promise,” Carlos vows.

Carlos leans in, closing the distance between them with a soft kiss. It’s not urgent or heated, it’s calm and grounding, filled with reassurance and love.

TK smiles against Carlos’s lips as he returns it, getting lost in his boyfriend, soaking up everything Carlos is offering and giving his own.

Their foreheads touch when they pull back and they breathe together. They feel each other and their love, anchoring each other.

TK’s hand gravitates to Carlos’s middle, to the location of the scar and his fingers brush lightly against the fabric covering it. Like his own bullet scar, it’s a reminder of how close he and Carlos had gotten to losing each other, how close they had gotten to losing this. But thinking back to that moment on the couch, TK takes comfort in knowing he and Carlos would do anything and everything in their power to come back to one another.

TK believes in them, believes in their love. And while he gazes into Carlos’s eyes now, getting lost in his captivating brown irises, knows beyond a doubt that Carlos does, too.

That knowledge gives TK the strength to brush another soft kiss to Carlos’s lips and then pulls back, making sure his boyfriend’s uniform is pristine.

“I’ll be right here when you come back home,” TK cups Carlos’s cheek.

Carlos seals the promise with a kiss to the inside of TK’s palm.

[ipuckwithhockey]

Earned- N. Patrick

a/n: This one gets angsty, oops. I’m on a NolPat thing right now, but when are we not? I’m honestly enjoying writing again, so I hope you guys enjoy this one!  

warnings: angst, mentions of sex/oral sex, swearing, divorced parents, drinking (i think that’s it)

------

Nolan loved his friends and family, hockey, and even on occasion Travis Konecny. This was enough for him. He had his close-knit group that he surrounded himself with and that was all he needed. It’s not that he avoided getting attached to people, he just hadn’t found anyone that he felt was worth getting attached to. He was young and focused on his career. Love would come eventually. He just didn’t realize how soon ‘eventually’ would be until he met you.

You met Nolan at a Post Malone concert. Your friend Grace had gotten tickets through her job and you couldn’t just say no to floor seats for Posty. Your seats just so happened to be right next to Nolan, Travis, and Kevin Hayes. You recognized the hockey players instantly, but your best friend just recognized that TK was hot and definitely checking her out. 

By the time Post was ending his show Grace was agreeing that the two of you would join the boys at a bar around the corner. You weren’t planning on going home with anyone that night, but Nolan Patrick was flirting with you and you were a woman of opportunity. So, you found yourself going home with a Flyers forward while your friend went home with another.

Grace was your polar opposite. She was an undying optimist, bubbly, and most notably a romantic. You on the other hand considered yourself a dedicated realist who was levelheaded and decisive. The thought of finding someone to spend the rest of your life with almost made you laugh.  You had no interest in settling for a mediocre relationship that would eventually combust or at best, just fizzled out.

The first night you went home with Nolan was supposed to be the only night you went home with Nolan, but just like the tale as old as time, it was far from a one time occurrence. Grace and TK kept seeing each other and their big personalities actually seemed to mesh well. Grace was happy and you were happy that she was happy. What you weren’t totally sure about was that their blossoming relationship meant you found yourself in the same room as Nolan more often than not. A couple of drunken nights together turned into a habit neither one of you seemed to mind.

Nolan was just as aloof as you when it came to romanticism. That was what you told yourself was the reason why you kept letting yourself fall into his bed every weekend. When he started texting you to come over out of the blue instead of your usual drunken hookups you decided it was time to lay down the law.

“Ok, so just to be clear, because I don’t want to be the reason for any broken hearts and more importantly, I don’t need any lost Flyers games weighing on me, this is just sex. Like we’re not going to be those stupid kids that say it’s just sex but then end up falling madly in love. I don’t do that, and from what I’ve gathered, you don’t do that either. So, if this is going to happen again, or keep happening, then it’s strictly business.”  You’re barely even looking at Nolan as you explain your position. He had quite aggressively ripped your clothes from your body when you arrived at his place tonight and you can’t seem to locate your second sock as you scour his room.

Nolan was still laying naked on his bed, catching his breath, as he watched you in your adopted routine of rushing out of his apartment. He had met girls who were okay with a quick hookup with a famous NHL player, but you were different. You were bold and definitive. You weren’t here because he’s famous, you were here because the sex was good, and that’s why Nolan was here too.

Nolan didn’t make a habit out of hooking up with the same girls more than a couple of times, max. If you hadn’t been so good in bed and so open to just having sex, he probably wouldn’t have entertained the idea at all. You couldn’t deny that having Nolan between your legs a few times a week wasn’t a good thing. In fact, it was a great thing.  Nolan might not spend much time talking, but he definitely knows how to use his mouth. You both left each other at the end of the night tired and satisfied, and that didn’t seem like a bad thing. 

“Mkay. I promise I won’t fall in love with you. My track record is pretty good, so if you need references, I can probably get you their numbers. They probably wouldn’t be thrilled about you calling to ask them about how I’m a heartless asshole, but you can give it a swing.” You can’t help but laugh as your brain deciphers the mumbles that just came from the half sleeping body in front of you.

The second or third time you hung out with the boys you were at a party. You were teasing Nolan about all the girls who were trying so hard to get his attention, and he replied that they probably wouldn’t try so hard if they knew how their short lived fling would end.  He had a bad habit of accidentally leading girls on, thinking they were on the same wavelength but then being met with a pissed off girl who thought “they had something special.”

“Perfect. And if you somehow end up falling for my stunning good looks and amazing personality, just do me a favor and let me know so I can run for the hills.” And with that you gave him a wink and were out the door. Nolan couldn’t hold in the laugh that fell from his lips as he continued to take in the personality you had begun to share with him.

—————

It’s been two months since the two of you settled your business deal and things were good. Grace and TK had made it official and she insisted on bringing you with her to team gatherings and games. You and Nolan went over to each other’s places when the other called or texted, and the sex was still as good as it was the first time.

The two of you developed a friendship and your post sex talks began to last a little longer on topics that were just a little deeper than the time before. Nolan would ask you about the douche that likes to hit on you at work and you would ask him how hockey was going.  Then he told you about his sisters and and eventually told you a little more about his migraines. When it felt right you would ask him questions that he always provided thoughtful answers to. Nolan Patrick was much more pensive than you initially thought. To be honest you hadn’t really given his personality much thought at all, but as you got to know him you realized his aloof exterior was maybe just misinterpreted.

To his surprise Nolan genuinely liked spending time with you. Unlike most people, you weren’t constantly urging him to be “more social” or outgoing, and even though you were using each other’s bodies for sex, you weren’t greedy. You didn’t ask too much of him or expect certain things because of who he was. He felt like he could breathe around you because he wasn’t constantly trying to satisfy any unattainable expectations.

Even when he talked to you about hockey, he felt like he was just talking about any old 9-5 job; zero pressure to perform for you. You would ask him how it was going even though you already watched the games, and you would let Nolan guide the conversation to where he was comfortable. In many ways Nolan did the same for you. He didn’t press about why you didn’t have a boyfriend or why you didn’t want one. He did query over why you gracefully steered the conversation away from your family. He didn’t pry into things that were too personal, that for some reason, so many people thought they were entitled to.

There was a level of respect present between you that neither of you had experienced with anyone else. In both of your past relationships people always wanted to go fast, immediately trying to see if you were compatible. You and Nolan were just friends having sex with no other expectation, and somehow that allowed the two of you to slowly peel back each other’s layers.

You were oblivious to all of this until one night when your post sex talk didn’t come after sex. It came before. Well, actually the conversation came but neither of you did that night. You were at Nolan’s after a game that hadn’t gone as well as they had hoped. He was tired and you could see it in his eyes. Instead of jumping each other’s bones as soon as he greeted you at the door, you cracked a bottle of wine and settled on the couch.

It was nice. It was two friends having conversation over a bottle of wine. You didn’t talk about hockey or work; it was just talking about nothing. You talked about the lady who gave you one of her extra coupons at the grocery the other day. He explained how he made a sweater once in home ec. ( You’re still not sure if you believe him.)

A couple of hours later, and halfway into your second bottle of wine, Nolan’s curiosity got the best of him.

“So, is there a reason you’re so anti relationship or are you just a serial heart breaker like me?”

Once he asked the question, he realized that he probably shouldn’t have. You hadn’t talked about it before and that probably meant you didn’t want to. You were surprised but his smug joke still made you laugh. Normally you would be a little annoyed by the question, but you felt like you knew Nolan. You knew he wasn’t just trying to get to the juicy part, he just genuinely wanted to know, so you told him.

“Well, if you must know, I am most definitely a serial heart breaker, but that’s just a result of why I’m not thrilled about relationships, not the actual why.”

You take a breath before going on, “My parent’s marriage was horrible. They fought constantly and I don’t think I ever saw them genuinely happy together. They insisted on staying together. Their families, my grandparents, were both pretty ‘well-to-do’ and I’m pretty sure my parents were just staying together to save face with them and their circle of rich friends. I’m not sure why, because none of their marriages seemed any different. They’re all divorced now, and remarried to even shittier people. But before that, it became more of a game than anything else. — it started getting bad when I was in middle school.”

You look out the window in front of you. Through it, you can see the city of Philadelphia. A city you came to for college, with the hopes of leaving your old life behind. 

“My mom started to go out to the country club and wherever else, and then she’d come home in the middle of the night, drunk, after doing god knows what or god knows who. My dad would go on business trips just to get away, and I’m pretty sure he was cheating on my mom too at that point. I never really saw them, and when I did they were always fighting. We didn’t have fun holidays and if my brother wasn’t there no one was in the stands cheering me on at my soccer games. Hell, by that point I preferred no holidays and no parents at my games. They didn’t care about me or my brother, and once Caleb went off to college I was on my own. I don’t blame him, I got out as fast as I could too. All we had was each other and we were always close. He’s in New York now, and we still talk pretty regularly, but being at home alone sucked, and being home alone with them sucked even more. I wasn’t always so pessimistic; I’ve dated a handful of guys but obviously they never worked out. Then I met a guy in college, and I thought wow this guy is unbelievable. He was perfect— Josh was his name. He was in grad school and he was smart and funny and said all the right things. I was young and naive, and I think I just wanted someone to love me, so I let him. And I let him take advantage of my time and energy. I let him lie to me and I let him cheat on me. And when I finally woke up from whatever trance I was in I realized that I had been looking at the world through rose colored glasses. I promised myself that I was never going to let myself do that again. I wasn’t going to rely on anyone but myself… I wasn’t going to give all of myself to someone just to wait for it to fall apart… The proof was in the pudding, relationships just don’t work, and that is why I’m so anti-relationship.”

You hadn’t looked Nolan in the eyes since you started in on your monologue, afraid that you may have just scared off your friend. Nolan was still taking it all in, reveling over the years of your life you had just laid out for him.

He had grown up in a loving family where his parents did everything they could to give him and his sisters the perfect childhood. They spent every weekend driving around Canada for hockey tournaments. He still talks to his sisters almost every day even though they’re thousands of miles away. His mom insists on carry out whatever holiday traditions she can even with Nolan in Philly. And here you were with a childhood that couldn’t have been more different than his. He didn’t want a relationship because he couldn’t find anyone he felt was worthy of his time and energy, but here you were, closed off to the world because you thought that unconditional love wasn’t real.

He didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything he could say, so instead he pulled you from your side of the couch to his, where he wrapped you up in his warm arms. You sat like that for a long time, not saying anything, not even moving, just letting him hold you. You didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt Nolan’s hands wipe away the tears that were staining your face, and that small gently gesture was what made you snap. That’s when it boiled over, when it became too much too fast.

“I’m sorry... God. I shouldn’t have even said anything. And now I’m crying like a fucking idiot. It’s probably just the wine. It’s late, I should get going. Just forget I said anything, ok?”

And just like that you had grabbed your coat, faceted your shoes, and were out the door of his apartment. Nolan’s brain couldn’t keep up with yours and by the time he heard his door slam shut it was too late to tell you that everything was okay.

—————

Nolan tried calling you after that night, but he couldn’t get a hold of you. You couldn’t talk to him. You knew you couldn’t look him in the eyes, because for a couple of seconds you got too comfortable, you let go and let him in. It was a mistake, and Nolan would surely know that too. You had both decided this was just a transaction of sex, nothing more. You were the one who took it past that. You could have just brushed off the question that Nolan was surely regretting now.

Nolan was regretting asking that question, but not because he didn’t want to know. He regretted it because you were gone now, and he didn’t know how to get you back. You had both promised not to fall in love, not to affect each other’s lives, but that’s exactly what happened. Nolan was in love with you.

Kevin had to spell it out for Nolan as he sat on his couch explaining what had happened. Nolan knew he cared about you, but he hadn’t deciphered what that feeling in the pit of his stomach was when he saw you. He couldn’t explain why he had to constantly rub the back of his neck in nervousness when he caught you staring from across the room. He didn’t know what any of it meant.  

“Dude. I’m dumb. Like I’m big-Boston-hockey-dude dumb, but you’re an idiot. You’re in love with her man.”

“What? We’re friends, I’m just worried about her.”

“Well, she’s in love with you too.”

“It’s just sex.”

“If you were just friends, and if it was just sex, you guys would be fucking right now, and you wouldn’t be mopping here on Saturday night because she told you about her life and won’t talk to you now. She wouldn’t have told you that shit, and she wouldn’t be ignoring you now if she didn’t have feelings for you. You said it yourself, she doesn’t let people in, but she let you in.”

She let me in. That’s all Nolan could think. Maybe Kevin had a point. Maybe he did love her. Maybe you somehow loved him too. Nolan couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. A couple days later he was getting more comfortable with all the reasons he loved you, but he still couldn’t figure out why you would love him.

He loved you because you were unwavering, absolute, and even a bit brazen. Over time Nolan had found that underneath that outside shell there was so much more. There was a girl who if you were patient and gentle, she might just let you in a little bit at a time. She unveiled her scars and her wounds, and Nolan was going to do anything he could to help them heal. He didn’t know that the feelings you were denying were nearly identical to the ones he was having right now. 

It’s been two weeks since you spoke to Nolan. You had also been ignoring Grace and Travis’ attempts to figure out what the hell was going on. You were telling yourself it was fine, and that everything would blow over. What you didn’t expect to see was a large body sitting in front of your apartment door when you got home from work.

“What are you doing here?” You didn’t meet his eyes as his towering frame rose from the floor. You kept your eyes fixed on your purse as you fished out the keys to your door, and as you stuck them into the door you weren’t sure if you should slam the door behind you or turn to listen to what he had to say.

“I know that you think I’m gonna be like every other guy, and I’m gonna use you or hurt you, and maybe I will, but if you let me try, I’ll try my hardest to never let that happen because it would break me to break you. I don’t need you to give me every piece of yourself right now, I don’t want it right now— “

You scoffed. For an apology or a speech or whatever it was you were listening to, it didn’t seem to be going too well.

“-I don’t want it right now, because I know I don’t deserve it. It has to be earned. Trust is earned and I just want you to give me the chance to earn it. I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t share yourself with people because you think they’ll be disappointed or throw it away because it’s not what they wanted. But that’s not what this is. I’m a huge idiot and I didn’t realize this until recently, but I trust you. I totally and completely trust you. I can’t say that about many people, but I can say that about you. You’ve earned it. I’ve let you into parts of my life and you’ve welcomed them. You brought me closer, and for the first time in a long time I didn’t want to run away. I’m not going to say it, because I know you need time, I know that if we do this, we have to take it slow, but I think you know how I feel about you because you feel the same way about me. Or at least I really really hope you do, because I’m totally falling for you amazing personality and stunning good looks.”

Nolan is practically out of breath after the word vomit that has escaped his mouth. You’re taking it all in. You’re taking him in, and you can’t help but let a smile creep onto your face.  Nolan somehow put everything you didn’t know you needed into words and you still didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t say anything.  Instead, you pulled him close to you and wrapped your short arms around his torso as you felt his own engulf your body. You both melted into each other and for the first time in weeks felt like you could breathe.

Neither of you were sure what was going to happen next, and how this would unfold, but you were willing to give him a chance. You were willing to let him show you what this could be, what you could be together, because you had both earned it. 

[mackeydoodledoo]

Promises

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Cassia Beryl (Fem!Demigod), Agnes/Agatha Harkness x Cassia Beryl (Fem!Demigod) [Non-romantic]

Summary: For as long as you've been existing, you posess powers of a God. The Greek God of the ocean to be specific. Knowing Wanda since Ultron. You vowed to protect Wanda. Keeping her promise to Vision before the mind stone was ripped from him. When you rescue Wanda's kids from a witch named Agatha Harkness, using your godly abilities, she begins seeing something in you that she hasn't seen in a very, very long time.

Warning(s): WandaVision Finale Spoilers

A/N: hi, I recently finished Wandavision and let me tell you I'm bittersweet. Cassia Beryl is my MCU Character!

--------------------------------------

As you peek around the corner, you notice two kids being held by some kind of purple magic string. If i can sneak over there I can get those kids out of there. And that’s exactly what you do. You bob and weave through backyard after backyard until you're directly next to the witch. 

"This is Chaos Magic Wanda, and that makes you the Scarlet-" 

You throw your trident that pierces right through the magic, disappearing. Your trident lands into the ground on the other side of the road. 

"She really is special," you smirk, slapping the witch with water and picking up the boys 

"Cass?.." Wanda calls out to you 

"Hey Wans," you smile, turning to her 

"Mom!" One boy said, running to her as you let them down 

Mom? She's.. a mom? You were given a mission, from the Rambeau; Monica, to try and save Wanda from spiraling down into a Villain. You were pretty close with Wanda, considering how the two of you both joined after the Battle of Sokovia. 

"Get inside boys!" She replies, "Go in your rooms!" 

You watch Wanda's boys head into their house, you hold your hand out, your glove glowing. Your trident comes back toward you. You catch it with no recoil on the impact. 

"It can't be...." Agatha says, breathlessly, looking at you 

"Can't be what?" You ask 

"I know those colored eyes anywhere," she replies, "You're-you're Poseidon's kid!" 

"And? Your point is?" You snarl back, "I want NOTHING to do with my father!" 

Angered, you propel water from your feet and use it to kick Agatha into towns Square. With Wanda in tow. You watch Wanda throw one of her Psonic power however, you notice how Agatha absorbs it rather than falling back. 

"Wans?..." you call, noticing her black tipped fingers 

"I absorb your magic," Agatha speaks, "It's kinda my thing." 

You walk over to Wanda and feel her hands and try to rub off the black. Even with your water powers nothing came off. 

"I'll handle this," you say before your neck is wrapped with purple magic and you're dragged back 

As you turned around you feel your hands wrapped, unable to hydro kenesis. 

"Cass!" Wanda calls 

You wanted to let out a snarl but feeling the magic wrapped around your neck getting tighter. 

"You and I have a lot to catch up on darling," Agatha smirks before she's finally knocked back by Wanda 

Trying to gather your bearings, vision fuzzy, you begin falling. Expecting to hit the solid ground below you, you were wrong. But feeling a familiar, soothing feeling. It felt like a water current but you knew it wasn't water, cuz when you opened your eyes Wanda was standing in front of you. 

"Are you hurt?" Wanda asks, her accent coming in 

"I almost got choked to death," you laugh, getting up to stand by her side, "But other than that I'm dandy." 

You look over and Wanda's hands are continuing to turn black. 

"You built this town to feed your need to have Vision back," Agatha states, "You make these people feel your pain." 

You and Wanda look over and you see a lady's eyes turn gold and then back to normal. 

"Dottie?" Wanda asks, as she's walking over to the two of you 

"My name is Sarah actually," she says, "I have a daughter, Eight years old. I can't see her, she's locked in her room, if you could let me see her please." 

As Agatha 'frees' everyone from Wanda's unintentional mind control, they all begin ranting on about how they have families outside of Westview and how they wanna leave. You pull Wanda into your arms tk try and calm her down as she was beginning to break. However, she loses it and begins putting red magic around the people, excluding yourself. 

"No, I'm sorry," she cries, releasing her magic from them 

Without thinking, she begins releasing her magic against the barrier. 

"Everyone out, now!" Wanda commands 

As they begin running, you begin hearing military trucks... 

"Hayward... that lying rat!" You yell 

However, before you could reach them, they reached you. Westview Vision and Wanda's kids join up with you two. However, almost dissipating... Wanda closes the Hex, regaining their form. 

"Boys, take care of the military," Wanda demands, as Vision becomes occupied with white Vision, "Mommy will be right back." 

You follow Wanda as you both head for Agatha, "Wans, Can you reach into her mind and force her to show her greatest fear?" You ask, looking at her, "I'll keep her distracted. Apparently she has history with my father... Time to get a crash course." 

Wanda smiles as she disappears as you land right in front of Agatha, "You have history with my father? Let's talk then." 

You put your trident against your back. No tricks. Or maybe one trick. 

"Your father, he-" 

Before she could even start, Wanda flicks her magic into Agatha's temples. Taking the both of us back to her... trial? 

"No no no no," Agatha shutters, "You tricked me!" 

"Well, you should have remembered I want nothing to do with my father," you said 

But you were also interested. Why was Agatha keen on talking to you about the father you never want contact with? Oh well, save it for later. You look around the dead corpses and realize there was a body of water nearby. Kinda made sense. But also not. However, once Wanda resurrected Agatha's coven members, they push you out of the way and gather around Wanda and begin bringing her o to the stake instead of Agatha who was free. You tried to get up but purple magic held you down. 

"No! Wanda!" You call out 

"You can't win Wanda," Agatha smiles, "You lack knowledge." 

As you looked up you noticed a crown forming along Wanda's head... Your eyes gape in awe, you knew Wanda was capable of so many things. Reaching her full potential as someone with magical abilities is one of them. She launched at Agatha, bringing you guys back to reality. Free from the magic shackle, you launch yourself with Wanda as you two slam Agatha into the ground. However, Wanda's arms completely black. 

"Mom!" The boys call out 

You turn however Wanda pushed you back toward them as she begins lifting herself up into the air. The boys help you up as you three watch. As Wanda continuously throws magic after magic, you realize she's getting weaker; her attacks becoming less forceful. 

"Auntie will be right back," you tell the two boys as you, with sheer willpower, must up all that you have, create a water vortex, lifting yourself towards Wanda. 

"Wanda! Hang in there!" You call out to her 

You realize she's just standing there, however, begin noticing runes all around the Hex. You don't say anything or do anything else but just watch as Wanda's complexion go back to normal. But, she began to re-take her magic. You couldn't make out what they were saying but you knew Wanda was doing.... You just sit in your vortex and watch in awe as you realize Wanda is becoming The Scarlet Witch.You realize she also has a new costume, and you fell in love with Wanda all over again. 

"Wow..." was the only thing that came out of your mouth as you let the vortex go and watch Wanda land as Agatha lies on the ground. 

"So, are you just gonna lock me up somewhere?" She asks, angrily 

"Not somewhere, here." Wanda replies, "you have the role I give you; the nosy neighbor." 

"You can't do this," Agatha, "You don't know what you've unleashed. You're gonna need me," she retorts back 

"Will I?" Wanda replies, "I know where to find you if I need you. You have your role here now." 

"No no please!" Agatha pleas 

Before Wanda could mind control her again, you gently touch Wanda's outstretched hand. Wanda stands down, a little angered. Agatha smiles as you kneelt down to her. But the smile faded when you didn't smile back. 

"Your history with my father...," you start, "I'll come around once I'm ready to talk." 

You stand and turn to Wanda, signifying she can control her again. Thus, she does. 

"Hiya hon," she says cheerfully, "Quite the getup hot stuff." 

Not sure if she's talking to you or Wanda. As your back was turned to her. You watch Wanda as she embraces her boys and Vision. 

"You'll make things right Wanda, just not for us," Vision smiles, "Lets go home." 

They all nod in agreement as Wanda begins releasing The Hex. As they pass by you, Vision stops. 

"You," Vision calls, you end up looking at him, "Would you like to join us?" 

You smile and nod as Wanda slings her arm around you as you follow them to their home. 

"Thank you Cass," Wanda says 

"Always Wans," you smile

As you watch Wanda and Vision tuck Billy and Tommy [you finally learned their names] into bed. 

"Thanks for saving us today," Billy states, looking at uou 

"Cassia Beryl," you smile, "I'm a close friend of your mom's." 

They smile as Wanda and Vision sit at their bedside. You standing at the doorway. 

"Your mother and I," Vision starts, "Are very proud of you. 

"The both of us," Wanda says, her accent slipping in 

You heard her accent clearly. You loved Wanda's accent. You look out the window and sigh, realizing Wanda is gonna be alone again. 

"Cassia is it?" Vision asks 

"Yeah," you reply 

"May I have a word with you? Alone?" He asks, looking at Wanda to stay with the boys for now 

"Yeah, sure," you say, going downstairs 

Once the two of you reach the main floor, you turn to Vision. 

"You, I don't know you at all but you seem to have a close connection with Wanda. Before I'm gone, I must know your connection with her." Vision asks 

You sigh, "I can't put it in words. However, I can show you my history with Wanda." 

A single tear drops down and you catch it with your finger. It then turns into regular water. 

"I hope this works," you whisper as you flick your memory water at Vision 

"You know I could have stopped him myself, disarmed him, killed him," you say, "But I didn't do anything. We all played our pieces, some aren't going to end as pretty as you hoped." 

[...] 

"Can you play me a song Cass?" Wanda requests 

"Always." You smile, grabbing Wanda's guitar as she seats herself right next to you 

[...] 

"Cass, I didn't mean to-" 

"Save it Wanda," you sigh, "Besides, you've looked happier without me." 

[...] 

"Cassia, can you keep a promise for me?" Vision asks, pulling you into a corridor 

"Of course Vision," You reply 

"I need you to look after Wanda for me," Vision blurts, "Should anything happen to me, Wanda is going to need someone. I don't want her being alone. You're the second most person she trusts." 

[...] 

"Vision, I don't know how I'm going to look after her without you," you choke out on a sob 

"It'll be alright Cassia," he says calmly, "You'll be able to figure it out." 

[...] 

"VISION NO!" You scream, scrambling up to your feet and attempt to save Vision again from Thanos. But he bsck-hands you into a tree, knocking you out 

[...] 

As you regain consciousness you see Wanda beginning to become dust. As half-consciouss as you were, you scrambled up to your knees and launched yourself with whatever energy you have left to reach Wanda. 

"Wanda NO!!!" You scream as a last effort 

She dusts right as you try to cup her cheek with your hand, a couple of dust. You open your hand and begin banshee screaming.

You let out a sigh once Vision comes to. 

"The last five years were horrible," you sigh, "Trying to get my mind off of Wanda in said years, didn't help. She'd often be in my dreams. Hoping I could revive you or get her back." 

"So in other words," Vision starts, "I left a promise to you that would look after Wanda after I'd be gone?" 

You nod, blushing a deep red as soon as you look over Vision's shoulder; Wanda standing at the bottom of the stairs. 

"W-Wanda," you stutter, "How long were you standing there?" 

"Long enough." She smiles, but the smile faded as the Hex was getting even closer 

You motion for Vision to Wanda in his final moments. You look on as Waves and Vision embrace. 

"Before I go Wanda, I must know. What am I?" He asks 

"You are Vision," she smiles sadly, "You are my sadness, my hope. But most importantly, you are my love." 

He smiles as he kisses Wanda for the last time as the house begins going back to its original state. You felt tears run down your face as you watch Vision disappear. 

"Goodbye Cassia," Vision says, "take care of Wanda for me. " 

You ugly cry as you try to smile and nod at his request. 

"So long darling," he finally says as he disappeared, the go far to its foundation 

You regain yourself as you begin walking toward Wanda. 

"You okay Wans?" You ask, hectic putting your hand on her shoulder 

She sighs at your touch. 

"Cass, make your own life worth while. I'm not worth it, " Wanda says 

You meet her face, "Wans, your worth a million universes to me. Besides, I like adventure." 

"Cass, you do know that once you go with me, you can't turn back right?" She asks 

"I'm fully aware doll," you say, holding her hand, "Where you go, I go." 

"You-you don't hate me? For leaving you?" She asks 

You take her hand in yours and intertwine your fingers together, "I never did." 

You place a gentle kiss on her forehead before you put on her hoodie as you begin leading her away from the foundation to leave Westview. However, you felt eyes on Wanda... Not the good kind either. However, you meet up with Monica. 

"You don't hate me?" Wanda asks 

"With your situation and your kind of power," Monica starts, "I'd bring back my mom." 

"That makes two of us," you emphasize with Monica, "I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry too," Wanda says, 

"They'll never know what you've sacrificed for them," Monica states 

"I don't think it'll change how they see me," Wanda adds, "Goodbye Monica." 

You casually salute three fingers up to her and give her a smile. Wanda wraps her soothing red magic around you along with her arm slithering around your waist and you two turn to the edge of Westview. 

"We're going to be okay Wans," You say 

You weren't fully sure. But you were certainly going to give it your all to protect Wanda. For Vision. Real and Westview Vision.

Epilogue You emerge from the waters that was right in front of your shared cabin with Wanda. It was way off grid. That's whats gonna stay that way. You look up and see Wanda holding a towel out to you. You first wipe your face dry and then your hair. 

"I have tea warming up just for you love," Wanda smiles as she brings you inside, her fingers gently running along your bare back, "Your favorite."

Sometime later, you knock on the doorframe to your bedroom and peek around the door. As much as you didn't want to disturb her, you wanted to check on her and you wanted to see her as her true self. She smiles when she sees you. She stops her studies and walks over to you. 

"You doing okay?" You ask 

"Yeah I'm alright Cass," she smiles, kissing your nose, "I'm beginning to think Vis let you come with us is that smiles they're gone, I still have someone to look at." 

"I think he was right," you put your forehead onto Wanda's, "I never want to let you go away from me again."

[marvel-medigeek-fics]

Marjan walked into the 126, sipping coffee to chase down the four Tylenol she'd taken before locking up her Jeep. She'd woken up with a pounding headache and the telltale signs of the second day of her period. Nothing she couldn't handle. After all, she'd never live down sitting out over something like this. Especially not when she worked with men and worked her ass off to prove herself worthy of walking alongside them.

She'd just avoid overdoing it. Easy enough.

--

The first call of the day had come in hot, with no room for extra pain. A load-bearing beam had been demolished, leaving two construction workers and the couple who lived there trapped under the rubble. All had survived, with only 2 broken legs between the four of them, and a few broken ribs. Could have been a lot worse, but they were all in a fair amount of pain, and Marjan couldn't help but feel guilty about her own pain. She attempted to push it down further and swallowed a few more Tylenol back at the station.

3 draining calls later, her headache was back with a vengeance and her cramps hadn't died down in the slightest. In fact, they seemed to be getting worse. She'd dealt with worse, of course, so this was nothing. At least that is what she kept telling herself. Marjan could smell Paul's cooking from upstairs and without realizing it she had unintentionally not eaten anything all day. And there it was, the source of her problem: hypoglycemia.

Paul was making turkey sausage rigatoni, one of Marjan's favorites. Paul, being the absolute dork he was, was singing along to the radio and using the spoon as a microphone. Mateo was doing the same thing with the salad tongs, and Judd was filming them and laughing. TK was laughing too, but probably because of something Carlos said rather than his hilarious colleagues. Owen was looking at his crew while doing paperwork and chuckling into his pen. Marjan leaned against the doorframe, trying to hold back a reaction to a cramp. Which were only getting worse.

"How much longer until dinner? I'm starved!" Marjan yelled over the country twang, almost making Mateo and Paul drop their utensils.

"10 minutes!" Paul yelled back, still dancing to the radio with his lower half.

Marjan took this opportunity to make herself more coffee. Not only was she hypoglycemic, but she was also exhausted. Not that she usually drank coffee, but she needed the bit of energy it was sure to give her.

"Whoa, Marwani, two cups? Who are you?" TK said, after saying a quick goodbye to Carlos when his radio went off.

"I'm tired, Strand. And can you blame me?" She was referring to one of her earlier saves today where she was the one to cut a hanglider out of a tree.

"Impressive, yes. It's still not like you to drink coffee." TK just raised his eyebrows and went back to chewing on his straw and sipping water.

"Yeah, Marjan, I thought you got your adrenaline from rescues. The natural way, as I believe you said once." Paul said, setting down the skillet of food. Mateo, setting down the salad, and Judd, setting down a roll of paper towels, both sat down after Paul. The whole table dug in. And even though Marjan had thought she was hungry, smelling the pasta almost made her want to throw up. But she took a bite, slowly forcing herself to choke it down. She forced a smile when Paul met her eyes in concern over TK's head. She was fine. She had to be.

--

After dinner and an agonizing hour of Paul watching over her like a hawk, Marjan finally escaped to the bathroom. Nausea from earlier had sort of subsided, but she still had to force down the bile in her throat. She just hoped there would be a call before she couldn't hold it down anymore. It burned a little bit, but not as much as the shame that lit her mind on fire. She breathed a sigh of relief when the Klaxons went off.

She ran downstairs, her abdomen still stinging with pain, but adrenaline was already beginning to dull it. The next call was a fire, which was great for forcing Marjan's mind off of her own selfishness.

"Whoa." The ablaze building lit up the dark sky. Sometimes it was pretty to watch something burn, but not tonight. 14 people were still trapped on the upper floors of the apartment complex, which was skyrocketing Marjan's adrenaline levels. Honestly, she felt great.

"We're going in!" Owen yelled it over the hiss of water pressure and the 6 of them went into the blaze. Usually, in a fire, everything seemed to be overwhelming, but today, the fire seemed dead silent. There was no crackle, just compressing heat.

"Austin FD, anybody in here?" Mateo yelled it through the door, his fist rapping against the wood.

"In here!! Help us!!" was the reply from inside.

"Mateo, Paul," Owen ordered, the two of them already forcing their way inside.

The remaining four trudged on. "Help! Please!! I'm in 654!! Please!!"

"Marjan, TK,"

"Got it, Cap!" TK chirped, "I'm going to kick down the door, back away if you can!!" The door flew open with a startling amount of force.

"Over here!! Under the table!!" The frantic voices called again and the duo moved to the terrified teenager.

"What's your name?" Marjan asked, biting her tongue so hard she could taste iron.

"I'm Mckenna."

"Are you the only one in the apartment?"

"Yes!" Mckenna cried out in pain, clutching her shoulder. There was a piece of glass embedded in her shoulder, and it was no wonder neither of them had noticed the shard. It was caught underneath her shirt, but since Mckenna had moved, so had the glass. Blood soaked the front of her blouse. "TK, gauze. Please." TK pressed the roll into Marjan's palm and she quickly wrapped up the wound with perfect precision.

"Let's get out of here." TK and Marjan carried Mckenna down the stairs. All three were lucky Marjan's legs didn't buckle, no matter how much they felt like they would. They passed Mckenna off to the EMTs and her sobbing parents.

"All good?" Marjan and TK asked each other at the same time.

Both of them nodded, and at least one of them was lying. Which would only become obvious when Marjan threw up into a trashcan immediately after passing the last victim, Alex, from the 8th floor off to the EMTs.

Judd happened to be the only one who noticed, which was lucky for her. "You okay, Marwani?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just shook my stomach around too much." Marjan forced her lips into a smile, to make Judd believe her. He didn't, but he knew better than to question Marjan when she had the 'fight me' glint in her eyes.

"Just take it easy. I don't want to clean up anybody's puke."

"Who says you would have to do it? Probie would." Even in excruciating pain, her quippy mouth was not impacted.

--

Back at the station, Marjan turned in early after convincing herself she didn't need any more Tylenol. She covered herself with every blanket in the fire station to no avail, she was still freezing. She moaned quietly, as to not alarm any more people she probably already had. She finally fell asleep with a dull sheen over her forehead.

"Marjan! Wake up!" TK was standing over Marjan when she woke up shaking violently. Her unwavering cramps had brought friends, but she bit her tongue again until she bled. Iron tastes better than pain.

"What?" Marjan groaned.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Of course! I'm fine!" She threw the covers off of the bed and stood up, blinking away dizziness and letting her eyes focus on her crewmates. Paul and TK were in the front, and Mateo, Owen, and Judd were making up the perimeter. Paul placed his hand on her forehead and shook his head slowly.

"No, you're not. You obviously have a fever. At least 100 degrees, if I'm not mistaken."

"You can stay here and sleep, Marjan, but you're not allowed on any other calls today," Owen said, his eyebrows heavy with worry and concentration.

"You're benching me, Captain?" Marjan looked at Owen with sad eyes. Her face was paler than usual and drenched in sweat. She looked awful.

"If he won't, I will." Mateo, who usually was painfully reserved about being bossy, put steel behind his voice. He looked like he was about to cry from worry, but his voice didn't shake and he stared Marjan down. His arms were crossed, and Marjan mirrored his stance.

"You can't bench me, probie," Marjan scoffed, before swaying and about falling into TK's arms. "I'm fine!"

"No, you are definitely not. Now sit down, before I send you to the ER for fluids." Owen locked eyes with her until she reluctantly sat down on the bed, her defiance waning. It was all gone the next time a wave of pain erupted through her abs causing her to scream. She grabbed the trashcan from the bedside table and puked violently into it.

"Go get Tommy. Now." Judd's voice was steel, and everyone else sprung into action. Leave it to Judd. Marjan groaned gutturally, a sound that broke Paul's heart. Marjan was his best friend and he'd never seen her in so much pain. So much pain that she was crying and moaning. And he had a hunch. McBurney's point.

"Ow, Paul, quit."

"You have appendicitis, girl, why didn't you say anything?" was Paul's reply, just as Tommy checked her out.

--

3 hours later, Marjan was out of surgery, and the entire 126 was sitting in the waiting room. They had done it for TK, and they'd sure as hell do it for Marjan as well. Grace had brought the entire station donuts because, in Judd's words, it was always an appropriate time to have donuts. No one had disagreed, and they all needed a bit of pick me up. Marjan having appendicitis had been a bit of a rollercoaster for all of them. Especially when they had realized her appendix had partially burst, which had caused a bit of perontinitus. Most of the 126 had been afraid she'd die because no one noticed the pain she had been in all day. It had been touch and go for a moment there and they were all a little on edge especially after TK's coma after getting shot. The incident was still fresh in all of their minds, and no one wanted to relive it. But here they were.

TK was pacing so much that he'd probably walked a marathon since they'd got here. Judd and Paul were moving too, both jiggling their legs like the world would end if they stopped. Mateo was completely still, hugging a pillow to his chest. And Owen was talking to Marjan. Her heart rate was good, ditto on blood pressure. She was just sleeping. Which fried everyone's nerves. If only she'd just open her eyes.

"One of the female nurses redid your hijab. Her name is Lily, and she says thank you for saving her sister, Mckenna. Small world, huh?"

She twitched.

"Guys!" Owen hissed and the other four men plus Grace moved quietly into the room. "Marjan?" Paul's voice sounded brittle, but he took her hand softly and squeezed it. Marjan's fingers curled around one of Paul's and she squeezed. Paul's tears shone on his cheeks as Marjan's eyes fluttered open.

"What happened?" She croaked out.

"Your appendix ruptured. We almost didn't catch it in time." Judd said over the deafening silence reverberating around the room.

"So that's why my Tylenol didn't work." She remarked.

"You were taking Tylenol for pain all day, and you didn't think to tell us?" TK said slowly, his fingers tapping on his elbows like he was disappointed. Maybe he was.

"I am female, Tyler Kennedy," Marjan said. "Think about it."

--

Paul stayed the latest with her because everyone else had early mornings. He sat in the chair beside her bed and held her hand. Paul had his appendix out when he was 22, and he knew how lonely it felt to sleep in a hospital room with no one watching over him. So he stayed and held her hand while she rested.

"I'm glad you're okay. You scared me for a while there." Paul whispered to Marjan.

"Me too, Paul. Thank you for staying with me."

"Of course."

"I have one more favor to ask, though."

"Which is?"

"Ice cream? Vegan cookie dough? Please?"

"In the morning." Paul shook his head fondly. "Everything is closed, and you should get some rest."

"Fine. I expect to see you here bright and early tomorrow with ice cream."

"I won't let you down." Marjan was already asleep by the time that he replied, snoring softly in time to her heart rate.

--

And of course, the next morning, Marjan awoke to vegan cookie dough ice cream on the bedside table along with a metal spoon and a giant get well soon card signed by every member of the 126, Carlos, and Grace. Along with a letter from Mckenna, who said Marjan could visit her anytime she wanted to, in room 216. Maybe being benched wasn't so bad.

[marjansmarwani]

i know i already sent in a prompt (and honestly i don’t even remember which # i picked.. so that will be a fun surprise) but since you reblogged the list again, i’m going to send in another request - #4. give me all the angst jillian. so excited to read all your prompts when you get to them 💕

You asked for angst, and you certainly got it. Sorry this took me literally forever, but here it is and I hope you enjoy! 

I don’t ever wanna have to let you go

[Read on Ao3] - 6.5k

4. “holding everything in doesn’t help, you know?”

---

When TK walks out after a fight with Carlos, he doesn’t expect to end up in an accident. When TK calls and Carlos - still hurt and angry - declines the calls, he doesn’t realize they are desperate calls for help. Now Carlos is left with nothing but guilt and desperate hope that maybe they weren’t too late - maybe there is still a chance for a happy ending after all.

This one is angsty, fair warning. But I like it when they are happy, so it is angst with a happy ending. This one was inspired by both the request from @officerrxyes and a prompt I saw on my dash one day from @whumpxng. The prompt essentially said that two characters got into a fight and then when one tried to call for help the other didn’t answer and my brain went...angsty tarlos. 

So here we are, I hope you enjoy! 

-----

Awareness came slowly, but the pain did not. 

 Other sensations trickled through: the acrid smell of smoke, the blurred sight of twisted metal, and dim dashboard lights seen through partially lidded eyes. He was in a car, he had been in an accident - the realization came to him in pieces. Flashes of memory assaulted him: a car pulling out at a red light, a wet street, the stark fear of losing control, and then, darkness. But the pain was at the forefront - undeniable and all-encompassing. 

 TK tried to sit up but fell back into his prone position on the steering wheel with a gasp of pain. He takes a moment to get the breath back, to allow the white-hot pain to fade back to the edge of his senses. He was hurt - that wasn’t the question. The question was how badly. 

 He sits back again - more carefully this time. He manages to pry himself from the steering wheel, able to put a few inches of distance between himself and the mangled steering column before he finds himself pressed against the back of his seat. He blinks the haze of pain from his eyes as he catalogs what he knows: 

 He was in an accident

He is hurt, possibly badly

The street he is on seems to be deserted; there will be no help from a passerby

He needs to call for help but judging by the state of things, finding his phone seemed unlikely

 He curses to himself. Great. This was...just great. 

 But he is a first responder; he spends his life dealing with these types of situations - even if he is usually on the other side. He forces himself to calm, to focus on what he can do instead of what he can’t. 

 What he can do: assess his injuries. 

 He moves through his body, experimentally moving each limb, shifting and cataloging resistance and pains. His left shoulder aches, but everything else is mostly fine until he gets to his chest. He tries to twist his torso experimentally and almost blacks out again from the all-consuming pain that springs up. 

 Okay - his chest was definitely hurt. 

 He continued the self-examination more cautiously; gently probing his chest with his right hand. He felt each inch carefully and cursed. There were definitely some broken ribs, and nothing on the left side of his chest felt good. He went to swear out loud and found that the simple act of forcing air into sounds caused immense pain. 

 He leaned back against the seat again, allowing his heart rate to slow in the wake of the agony. All he had learned from that exercise was that he needed help and he was in no shape to go find it himself. 

 He thought back to the end of his list and glanced around him to confirm: his phone was nowhere to be found. If his brief experiment with movement had taught him anything it was that he wasn’t going to be digging around on the passenger side floor anytime soon. So his phone was officially out. He eyed his steering wheel. It had commands for the bluetooth built-in - maybe they were still functional. He reached out a shaking hand to press the phone button experimentally. The display screen blinked to life and he almost heaved a sigh of relief. 

 He looked at the screen and felt more dread rise up within him. He wouldn’t be able to dial. That left him with only voice activation or redial. Based on everything he had felt since waking up voice activation was out. Which meant he was left with only one option, and it made his heart sink.

 It was always the same name at the top of his recent calls - a thought that usually filled him with warmth and love. 

  Tonight...it might not be such a good thing. 

 Flashbacks of the scene he had walked out of at Carlos’s home assaulted him: echoes of the shouting, of the things they had both said - of the things he hadn’t meant. And then he had just...left. Walked out, gotten in his car. He had planned on just driving for a bit to clear his head before heading to his dad’s. It had almost worked too. He had felt better, more centered - right up to the moment of impact. 

 The universe had a cruel sense of humor sometimes. 

 He was probably the last person Carlos wanted to talk to right now, and he couldn’t blame him. But he had to try. 

 Besides, it was Carlos. Carlos would always pick up the phone, right?

 He groped for the steering wheel with his trembling right hand. Muscle memory led it towards the familiar command button and clicked it through the options. Redial appeared on the display, mercifully the first option. His shaking hand thumbed the center button; initiating the command. 

 It rang. 

 It rang for hours, or so it seemed. In reality, it was not long enough - the voicemail picked up too soon and TK’s heart sank.  

  Carlos had declined his call. Carlos didn’t want to talk to him.

 He had known it was a possibility, had expected it even; but the reality still stung. 

 His vision blurred again, but this time it had nothing to do with the smoke. 

 He took as deep of a breath as his battered chest would allow, and tried again. 

 The ringing seemed to last forever, each trill echoing with his own shame and regrets. Eventually, the voicemail picked up again and TK hit the button again to disconnect the call. There was no way out of this for him, he had to accept that now. He thought he might have been able to too if it hadn’t been for the way he had left things with Carlos. He loved him so much.  He couldn’t believe after everything they had been through, everything they had shared, it would end like this - with his corpse trapped in his mangled car and Carlos with 2 missed calls. He didn’t want him to have to live with that guilt, but there was no way around it. 

 He was fading fast now, there wasn’t much time left. Somehow he found it in him to reach for that button one more time. He owed it to both of them. He needed to hear Carlos’s voice one more time, even if it was just a recording. He needed to tell him he was sorry, that he still loved him - even if he was only saying those words to his voicemail. 

 He hoped they could still give him some solace, help to ease the guilt TK knew he would feel (even though it wasn’t his fault, not really). 

 He hit the button again and listened to the tinny ringing sound reverberating through the speakers. He could feel the darkness edging closer, eager to claim him one final time but he resisted. He just needed a few minutes more - he needed to make this as right as he could. 

 The ringing stopped and TK prepped himself, stilled his breath so that nothing would drown out the sound of Carlos’s voice that he so desperately craved. 

 “TK?” Carlos asked, his voice echoing through the car stereo and washing over TK like a familiar blanket. With a start he realized it wasn’t his voicemail - it was actually Carlos. He tried to respond, but his voice wouldn’t work. There wasn’t enough air left in his lungs. 

 “TK?” Carlos asked again, voice tinged in concern, “are you there?” 

 TK tried again to speak, desperately willing his body to perform one of its most basic functions. If he could just tell him he’s sorry, if he could just remind him how much he loved him, he could die happy. 

 And it was pretty clear he was dying either way.

 He pulled from his deepest reserves and found a little bit more strength. Just enough for one word. 

 “Sorry,” he croaked out, coughing in the wake of the word and setting his chest on fire. The new pain brought the blackness in from the edges and the last thing TK heard before everything faded was Carlos’s terrified voice yelling his name.  

 It wasn’t enough, but it was all he had. He hoped Carlos knew the rest. 

--------- 

 “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

 “Why do you always assume there is something wrong Michelle?” 

 “Because you called me in the middle of a Friday evening and we are now sitting in your living room with beers and you haven’t said two words since I got here.” 

 Carlos sipped his beer in silence and Michelle rolled her eyes before setting her beer down on the coffee table and turning on the couch to face him: “Carlos, just tell me what’s wrong. We both know you’re going to eventually, so why drag it out?” 

 Carlos scowled at her but she simply raised her eyebrows expectantly. He sighed and lowered his beer, resting it on his knee as he thumbed the label anxiously. When he spoke, his eyes remained decidedly on the bottle in his hands, “TK and I had a fight tonight.”

 “Couples fight,” Michelle reminded him, voice gentle. 

 Carlos shook his head, swallowing, “We don’t. Not like this. It’s been almost a year and I think this is the first time we’ve ever fought like that. We were both so angry - we were both yelling. I don’t think either of us has ever raised our voices at all, not to each other. Then he left.”

 Now Michelle furrowed her eyebrows, “Left how?”

 “Just, left. Grabbed his keys, walked out the door, drove away.” 

 “He probably just needed some time to cool off,” Michelle said gently, placing a hand on his knee. 

 “I know he did, we both did. We just…” Carlos trailed off and shook his head before trying again, “we both said a lot of things. Not good things, either.”

 “What did you guys fight about?” 

“I can’t believe you would do something so dangerous, Carlos!”

  Carlos paused, the hand holding his fork poised in mid-air above his plate, “I’m sorry, what was that?”

  “You knew that guy was armed and you went in anyways - without backup! That was reckless and you know it.”

  “You do realize what a hypocrite you sound like, right?” 

  Now TK froze too, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

  Carlos set down his fork, thoughts of dinner abandoned: “Exactly what I said. You’re being a hypocrite. How many times have you ended up in the hospital from work? How many times have your dad and I had to wait and hope and pray that you would be okay, that you would pull through? And yet here you sit, telling me off for taking a risk!” 

  There was stunned silence before TK spoke again, his voice quivering with barely suppressed rage, “It’s not like I’m doing any of that stuff for fun. I do it to save people. Sometimes it gets dangerous - what am I supposed to do, just leave them?” 

  “You could still save people without jumping off a building without looking! You could still save people without risking your own life!” 

  “I don’t take any unnecessary risks!” 

  “Like hell you don’t,” Carlos scoffed, voice cold and angry, “You haven’t met a risk you didn’t take. I’m still not sure if it’s just plain recklessness, a hero complex, or just residual suicidal tendencies.” 

  “You don’t mean that. You know I’m past that Carlos.” 

  Carlos shrugged helplessly, “I thought you were, I like to think that you are. But then it happens again and I have to wonder why. The only reason it hasn’t worked so far is just pure dumb luck and you know it.”

  TK stared at him, chest heaving, “You’re angry because I get hurt at work sometimes?” 

  “I’m angry because you’re trying to tell me off for something you do all the time! I’m angry because one of these days your luck is going to run out, and that scares the hell out of me! I’m angry because someday you may not get so lucky, and where will we be then?!” 

  There was silence in the wake of his words, the echoes of Carlos’s shouts fading into the air around them. The next sound was the scrape of TK’s chair moving across the floor. When he speaks, his voice is scathing, “Well if that’s what you think of me, then I see no reason to stick around. Clearly, we both have some thinking to do and I think it might be best if we did it alone. I know I have no interest in staying where I’m not wanted.” 

  Then he was up and across the room. He paused only long enough to scoop his keys off the table by the door, and then he was gone. 

Michelle was looking at him expectantly. Carlos shook his head and took another sip of his beer before speaking. “We both had some fears that caused us to react strongly, and we both said some things we regret. Then he left.”

 Just thinking about it made the heat of anger flare up in him again. The fact that TK had so little regard for his own safety or wellbeing was a constant source of stress and fear for Carlos. He spent so much time worrying about the other man, had spent so many hours waiting and hoping for the best (but fearing the worst) that seeing TK shrug it all off infuriated him. 

 His phone, sitting on the couch between himself and Michelle began to vibrate. He glanced down to see TK’s picture light up on the screen. Carlos shook his head and tapped the screen, declining the call. He wasn’t ready to talk to him yet; he wasn’t ready to forgive. 

 Michelle raised an eyebrow at him but he merely shook his head. “I need a little more time,” he said. This hurt still felt too raw - he wasn’t ready to forgive and forget just yet.

 Michelle opened her mouth, but Carlos shook his head again, “I know that I will forgive him. I know that he’ll forgive me. But right now...I’m just so angry. I don’t think I’d be able to talk to him without starting a whole other fight. It’s for the best.” 

 She looked like she had opinions on that and was no doubt about to share them, but whatever she was going to say was cut off by the sound of his phone vibrating again. They both glanced down at it and he declined the call again without even a pause. There was silence between the two friends until Michelle spoke again. 

 “Maybe you should give him a chance to speak before you just assume you know what he is going to say,” she suggested, “isn’t that what you are mad at him for doing in the first place?” 

 Carlos glared at her and was about to ask her whose side she was on when the phone rang again. He was about to reach for it, to repeat his action but something made him pause. Maybe it was Michelle’s words, maybe it was that three calls in such a short amount of time didn’t seem right for TK. He was more the type to try once and then leave the ball in Carlos’s court, too afraid to overstep. Despite everything he would know that Carlos would always call him back. A nagging fear started to eat at his stomach and when he reached for the phone, he swiped to answer instead of declining. “TK?” he said hesitantly, a question as much as a greeting. 

 There was silence on the line for several moments and Carlos glanced up at Michelle to see her brows furrowed in concern as well.

 “TK?” he asked again, the growing concern coloring his voice, “are you there?”  

 He was about to repeat himself when TK’s voice suddenly sounded on the speaker, weak and faint and almost unintelligible - almost. It only uttered one word: “Sorry.” 

 Then there was a cough, then silence. 

 Carlos could feel his heart racing as he looked up at Michelle with frantic eyes. She already had her phone out and was dialing 911. He turned his gaze back to the phone, desperately wishing he could see through the screen, that he could find out what TK was dealing with - that he was going to be okay. 

 “TK!” he said again, voice louder, more frantic. There was no response and he took a deep, shuddering breath. He looked to Michelle, who was relaying the details to a dispatcher. Their eyes met and she gestured for him to keep going, to keep talking. He swallowed and complied: 

 “Hang on TK,” he instructed, voice shaking, “help is on the way. You’re...you’re going to be okay.” 

 Michelle put her hand over the mouthpiece of her phone, “They’ve traced his cell signal and rescue crews are on their way. Keep talking to him, it can't hurt.”

 Carlos nodded and kept talking, “We both know you’re too stubborn to give up, right? Don’t prove me wrong yet Ty. Just hang on a little longer.” 

 There was still silence on the other end. Every second of silence, every word uttered without a response caused the fear in his gut to grow. 

 “I have so much to apologize for, you can’t leave us like this. This is not how we’re meant to end Tyler Kennedy.”

 Michelle reached out and put a comforting hand on his knee again and he blinked away tears. He hoped that no one from TK’s crew was on call. They didn’t deserve to see him like this. 

 “I’m so, so sorry for everything I said tonight sweetheart. I’m just so afraid of losing you.” 

 Distantly he heard the sound of sirens approaching through the phone. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to take a deep breath. Help was there. TK was getting the help he needed. Carlos only hoped it would be enough. He could hear the sounds of doors opening now, shouts of instructions being given. They were on their way to him. 

 He just had one more thing to say. 

 “I love you TK,” he said quietly as the voices and sounds of the first responders grew closer, “don’t leave me yet.” 

----------- 

Someday you may not get so lucky, and where will we be then?!

 It was the last thing he had said to TK. He had spent every agonizing minute of waiting trying to remember what it had been. Now that he knew, he wished he could forget. 

 He sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, leg bouncing anxiously. This was a sadly familiar experience, he had been here too many times before. But this time felt different. 

 TK had been in a car accident - a hit and run from what they had been able to determine so far. He had been trapped and in pain, and he had tried to call for help. He had tried to call Carlos for help, and he had ignored him. It went against everything that Carlos had thought he stood for. It went against every promise he had ever made to TK. 

 The sound of frantic footsteps echoed across the surprisingly empty waiting room, but it wasn’t until Michelle stood that Carlos looked up. Owen Strand was standing before them, far more rumpled than usual with a panicked look in his eyes. 

 “What happened?” he asked, voice filled with the panic so evident in every feature. 

 Michelle gently guided him to the chair beside Carlos before settling into one across from them. With a calm and steady voice (bless her), she explained: “TK was in an accident. It looks like it was a hit and run. He called Carlos and I was with him, so I called 911. I haven’t gotten much in the way of specifics yet, but unfortunately it looks like he was hurt pretty badly. A doctor should be out soon though to tell us more.” 

 Owen nodded, running a hand through his hair as he processed. It was such a familiar gesture - something Carlos had seen TK do a hundred times - that it caused him physical pain. He sat quietly, giving Owen time to process, to ask the questions he would inevitably have. 

 It comes sooner than he would have hoped. He could see the moment it clicked in Owen’s head; the moment the pieces didn’t fall into place. He turned to Carlos with a curious expression and it was all Carlos could do not to shy away. He faced all sorts of nefarious characters at work without blinking, but the worry and confusion from his boyfriend’s father was almost enough to cause him to turn tail and run. 

 “Wasn’t TK with you tonight? Where would he have been going?” 

 Owen looked from Carlos to Michelle, hoping that someone could give him answers; that someone could make this make sense. Michelle gave Carlos a questioning look, but he shook his head. He had to own up to this at some point - no reason to delay the inevitable. 

 “We had a fight,” he said, almost startled by the sound of his own voice. “We had a fight, and he left.” 

 Owen nodded, patting Carlos’s knees comfortingly. “This isn’t your fault Carlos,” he said gently. 

 Carlos swallowed. He knew the guilt and shame must be rolling off him in waves for Owen to have picked up on it so quickly, but Carlos doubted he would be as sympathetic if he knew. But this was a sin he couldn’t keep to himself. 

 He took a deep breath and continued, voice shaky, “that’s not all. He...he called me. He called me and I was still angry and I didn’t answer. He was hurt and scared and dying, and I declined his calls. Twice.” 

 Owen took a deep breath and Carlos waited for his recrimination. It never came. Instead, when he turned to face Carlos again his expression was sad, but sympathetic.

 “But you answered, and that’s what matters.” 

 Carlos tried to argue, tried to point out that he had ignored a call for help (twice), but Owen simply shook his head, “You’re only human Carlos. You’re allowed to have emotions. Besides, you had no way of knowing what had happened. You had no way of knowing he was in trouble.”

 Carlos let those words sink into his skin. He didn’t deserve them. “I still should have answered. I’ve always told him I would always be there for him, and then I wasn’t when it mattered.” 

 Owen looked at him sadly and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “You answered and that is all that matters. Answering that last call could be the only reason he has even a chance of pulling through this. You were there for him, and he’ll tell you the same thing.” 

 There were a hundred things Carlos wanted to say. He wanted to say Owen couldn’t possibly know that, that they had no way of knowing if pulling through was even an option. He wanted to say that TK was angry enough when he left to never want to speak to him again. He wanted to say that he might have actually screwed this thing up, that there might be no going back. He wanted to say that from the one glimpse he had had of TK as they rushed him from the ambulance to the trauma room it was very likely they would never have that chance. 

 But Owen didn’t need to know any of that, so instead he simply gave him a tight smile and nodded. 

 The hours dragged by and familiar faces filtered in and out of the waiting room. The rest of the 126 arrived one by one as they heard. He accepted Marjan’s offered coffee with a tight, false smile but otherwise only nodded in acknowledgment of anyone’s attempt to speak to him, to comfort him. The fear in their expressions drove through him like a spike, hollowing out room for his own fears and guilt to amplify. Every so often a doctor or nurse would stop by with an update and while the group as a whole held on to every word, most of them did not even process to Carlos. 

  Punctured lung, internal bleeding, damage to the spleen and left kidney, possible tbi, broken clavicle…

 It was all too much. The doctors at least seemed to agree. Each one they spoke to seemed grim and serious. They talked treatment options, they talked worst-case scenarios. Owen simply nodded along, listening closely, and looking to Michelle for her opinion. Most of all he did a terrible job of masking the fear in his eyes.  

 At some point, Grace showed up, straight from dispatch and still in her uniform. She headed straight for Owen and Carlos, giving them each a kiss on the forehead. She lingered at Carlos, meeting his eyes. “He still loves you too, no matter what,” she said softly. 

 With a start, he realized she must have been the dispatcher to take the call, that she had heard his end of the desperate one-sided conversation. He nodded weakly and she smiled at him - a soft and gentle thing - before crossing over to sit next to Judd and take his hands in her own. 

 Eventually the doctor appears again with an expression not so grim as before. Owen stood nervously, hands trembling at his sides. The rest of them watched quietly, waiting to know which had won: their hopes or their fears. 

 The doctor graced them with a tired smile, “He should be fine. There was a lot of damage, but he should pull through. The surgery to repair the internal bleeding and damage to the kidney and spleen was successful and the broken clavicle has been set. He’ll be moved to recovery shortly and it’ll be a while until he wakes up, but you’re welcome to sit with him. It can only help.”

 Owen nodded, stepping forward to grab the doctor’s hand in thanks. “Thank you for saving my son,” he said softly, voice dampened by the emotion running through it. 

 The doctor waved off his thanks, “I feel like I should be thanking him - it’s always a good feeling to be able to give good news. I’ll make sure someone comes to get you once he’s settled.” 

 With a last nod to the rest of the group, the doctor was gone and Owen turned to face them all. His face was covered by a wide grin, he seemed taller now than he had a few minutes ago with all the fears weighing down. “He’s going to be okay,” he repeated as if they all hadn’t been listening to every word the doctor said just as eagerly. 

 There was a flurry of activity as the group seemed to come alive again, all talking at once and smiling again. Carlos leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.  He was going to be okay.  He repeated it over and over again to himself like a mantra.  He was going to be okay. 

  We still have time to fix this, was the other thought that occupied his mind. And he intended too, the first chance he got. 

 Eventually, it was decided that the rest of the crew would leave, go home and sleep in their own beds and come back tomorrow morning to see TK when he would hopefully be awake and more lucid than the aftermath of major surgery would allow. Carlos watched them go, unsure where his place was. He sent a pleading look at Michelle, who gave him a reassuring smile as she gathered her things. Before he could ask, could voice the doubts in his head he felt a hand on his arm. 

 He looked up to find Owen gazing at him, “You and I will stick around and go in as soon as we’re allowed, if you’re up for it.” 

 Carlos released a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding and nodded. Owen gave him a tight smile, “whatever this is, you’ll figure it out.” 

 Carlos smiled at the older man, but secretly he wished he had his confidence. From where he sat, nothing was certain - least of all that. It was okay though, he told himself. TK was alive and as long as that was true, Carlos could manage anything. 

 Still, there was a gnawing feeling of dread in his gut. When he and Owen were alone in the waiting room he finally gave voice to it: “He might not want to see me. It might make him too upset. I don’t want…” 

 “Carlos,” Owen said firmly, cutting him off, “stop. You’re coming with me. If, when he wakes up, TK says he doesn’t want to see you, then you can leave. But I happen to know my son pretty well and I am fairly certain that having you not be there when he wakes up would make him feel even worse.” 

 Carlos nodded, and Owen’s expression softened, “Couples do fight from time to time. I know you two don’t usually, but you’re rather the exception to that I guess. That doesn’t mean you’re perfect, it just means that when it does happen it’s going to feel that much worse and take that much more work to fix things. You’re just going to have to trust in each other. You both know how you feel about each other - hell, we all know how you feel about each other. You love each other and at the end of the day, that is what matters. Trust in that, and everything will be okay.” 

 Owen’s words brought tears to his eyes, but he swiped them away before looking up and giving him a smile, “Thanks,” he said softly and Owen smiled back at him, reaching over to give his leg a comforting squeeze. 

 “No need to thank me, I’d do anything for the two of you. Besides, I’ve got the easy part. You two have the real work to do.” 

 They lapsed into a comfortable silence until a nurse came by to inform them that TK was in recovery. They followed him around the corner to a non-descript door. 

 “It’ll be a while before he wakes up still,” the nurse told them as he pushed open the door, “but I’m sure you’ll both be happier waiting in here.”

 They thanked him and entered the room. Carlos barely made it across the threshold before he stopped, frozen by the sight before them.  

 TK was there in the bed. At least, he assumed it was TK. Almost every inch of the left side of his body was covered in bruises or bandages. His left arm was secured with a sling; he looked so still and unnatural in that bed. He looked so unlike himself. You would think for the number of times he ended up getting himself hurt this would get easier, but it never did. 

 Carlos was startled from his stupor by a strangled sound coming from beside him. He turned to find Owen staring at TK, eyes wide and beginning to fill with tears. He seemed frozen in shock or horror, rooted to the spot by the door. Carlos understood completely. He gently reached out to grab Owen’s arm, guiding him to one of the chairs by the bed. He stepped back and watched as Owen reached out with trembling hands to grasp TK’s, lying limply on the blankets. He quietly sat in the other chair, watching the scene before him. Owen was speaking quietly to his son, running a tender hand through his hair. As much as he longed to join him, as much as he wanted to have proof for himself that TK was really still alive; he knew that Owen needed this. 

 The man loved his son more than anything else in the world and ever since this whole nightmare had begun he had kept up a brave front. He had supported Carlos, he had reassured the team. But now, out of other people to focus on and faced with the reality of tonight’s events, he needed some time. Carlos intended to give it to him. He settled into the chair and took a deep breath before closing his eyes. Hours of fear and panic had worn on him, and now in the relative calm, he allowed the exhaustion to settle into his bones as he drifted off into a restless sleep. 

---------- 

 Carlos was awakened by the sound of soft voices. He blinked several times, trying to figure out why the hell there were people in his bedroom before the feeling of a chair in his back and the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor guided him back to reality. He sat up with a start, eyes roving his surroundings frantically until the sight before him caused his racing heart to still. 

 Owen was sitting on the edge of TK’s hospital bed, talking quietly with him. TK was listening, offering a small smile in response to whatever it was his dad had said. He was awake. 

 It was a miracle unlike anything Carlos had ever seen. He couldn’t stop staring. Eventually, TK felt his gaze and looked past his father to meet Carlos’s eyes. 

 “Hi,” he said softly, voice weak but worlds away from how it had sounded over that fateful call. 

 “Hi,” Carlos responded lamely. 

 Owen looked between the two of them. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the top of TK’s head before pulling himself off the side of the bed. “I’m going to go make some calls and update the rest of the crew. I’ll leave you two alone for a bit; give you some space to talk. Just, try not to get any more traumatic injuries while I’m gone?” 

 TK chuckled, “I’ll do my best Dad,” he promised. Owen smiled at him before clapping Carlos on the shoulder and walking away. There was silence in the wake of his footsteps before Carlos pulled himself out of the chair and stepped closer to the bed. He hovered a few feet away, unwilling to get to close if TK didn’t want him there yet. 

 “How are you feeling?” he asked nervously, taking another look at him. The bruises had darkened while he had slept, ugly splotches of pain decorating his skin in stark contrast. 

 TK went to shrug, but winced when he jostled his shoulder, “Kind of like my entire body is one giant bruise, but I’ll be fine.” 

 Carlos nodded tapping his fingers anxiously on his thigh, “Do you need anything?” he asked, uncertain of where to go from here. 

 “Actually yes,” TK said and Carlos stilled his anxious fidgeting.

 “What is it? I can get...” 

 “I need to tell you how sorry I am,” TK said, interrupting Carlos’s nervous rambling. He stopped talking and returned his gaze to TK, who held it. He closed the distance between them, stopping at the edge of his bed. 

 “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he said quietly, unsurprised by the tears he felt forming in his eyes. “God Ty I am so…” 

 But TK shook his head, “You had no way of knowing, none of this is your fault.” 

 Carlos shook his head more adamantly, “No, I shouldn't have done that. I’ve always promised you I would always be there for you, and I wasn’t. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know exactly what trouble you were in, I made you a promise and I should have kept it. I am so, so sorry.” 

 TK smiled at him sadly, reaching out his good arm to wipe away the tears on Carlos’s face. “Which is one of the many reasons why I will always think you are one of the best people I have ever had the pleasure to know. But it doesn’t change the facts Carlos - you’re allowed to make mistakes. Trust me, I’ve made more than my fair share, I know what I am talking about.” 

 Carlos gave a weak, watery laugh as TK moved his hand from Carlos’s face down to grasp Carlos’s hand with his own. 

 “I’m not mad at you Carlos,” he told him gently, “Not for that - never for that.”

 Carlos gripped the hand holding his tighter, “I’m just so glad you’re okay. If you weren’t and I hadn’t answered those calls...I don’t think I would have been able to live with myself.” 

 TK shook his head firmly, “It wasn’t your fault. No matter what happens Carlos, I don’t want you to ever feel that way. Not on account of me, not ever.” 

 He met Carlos’s eyes again, expression serious. They held each other’s gazes for a few moments before TK’s softened, “That’s why I called back the third time. I...wanted to make sure you knew I didn’t blame you, no matter what. I needed you to know how sorry I was, about everything.” 

 Carlos nodded, “I’m sorry too. I should have been more upfront about how I was feeling, about how scared I was of losing you. Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know?” 

 “No,” TK agreed softly, “it doesn’t.” 

 They lapsed into a comfortable silence, tethered together by their clasped hands and soaking in the warmth of each others’ presence. 

 “There was another reason I called you again that third time,” TK said eventually, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

 “What was the other reason?” Carlos asked. 

 “I needed to remind you how much I loved you. I couldn’t leave without being sure you knew that.” 

 Carlos swallowed thickly at that. It was a grim reminder of how close they had been to a permanent end, how lucky they were to be here together at all. He slid onto the edge of the bed, leaning forward and pulling TK into a kiss. It was a desperate kiss; filled with all the fear he had felt, all the love he always felt for this man. He pulled back to breathe, to wipe away fresh tears. But then he felt himself tugged forward and he went without objection, leaning back in and meeting TK for another kiss, this one slower; more patient. This was the kiss they could share every day, for as long as they had. 

 Carlos just hoped that could be a very long time. He intended to do everything he could to ensure it was. 

 As they separated Carlos rested his forehead on TK’s. “I love you too,” he said softly, “more than I have ever loved anyone. You’re it for me TK, I hope you know that. You’re stuck with me.  As long as you want me, I’m yours.”

 As close as they were Carlos could see the corners of TK’s mouth lift as he smiled, “Then I hope you were planning on forever, because that’s the only answer I will accept from you, Carlos Reyes.”

 Carlos chuckled and nodded, pulling away just enough that he could meet TK’s eyes, “Forever sounds like a plan to me.”  

[Read on Ao3 - leave a comment if you’d like!]

[llnwritings]

Square Filled: Near-Death Experience Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star Title: Moments Between Summary: TK only broke eye contact when the pain hit, hot, searing pain ripped through his chest. He looked down, he could see his dark coloured shirt turning even darker, as his blood oozed out of a bullet hole. TK let out a pained gasp as he felt his body begin to fall backward, his feet slipping from beneath him, unable to hold his own weight.  [ Read on Ao3 ] 

 "3, 2, 1" TK swung the battering ram back and forth between each count, before finally hitting it against the door. The door flew backwards and hit the wall with a bang. TK stepped forward but stopped when he realized that the bang he heard wasn't the door. He gripped the doorway in shock as it felt like the world stopped moving and the sounds around him dimed to a slight hum. TK looked into the room and made eye contact with the child standing there, his small body shaking, gun raised.

TK only broke eye contact when the pain hit, hot, searing pain ripped through his chest. He looked down, he could see his dark coloured shirt turning even darker, as his blood oozed out of a bullet hole. TK let out a pained gasp as he felt his body begin to fall backward, his feet slipping from beneath him, unable to hold his own weight. Reaching out, TK grasped for his dad's shoulder, hoping to somehow lessen the impact of hitting the floor. Numerous people were yelling but TK couldn’t hear anything. The only thing he could focus on was the pain and the fact that it was getting harder and harder to catch his breath. Once on the floor, TK was dimly aware of the hurried movement around his persons, the pressure of his chest becoming too much, making it harder to stay awake and aware. As TK's eyes closed for the final time of the night, the last thing he saw was the look on his dad's face; pain, fear and worry, all directed at him. 'Dad,' TK thought tiredly, as his world turned to black, ‘It hurts’.

----

A bang sounded throughout the hallway and Owen stood in shock as he watched his son's blood splattered against the wall behind him.

There was a moment of complete silence, everybody stopped, it was like the oxygen had been sucked out of the hallway.

Then the moment was over and TK was falling.

“TK? TK!”

Someone yelled out from behind, but Owen couldn’t register who it was. All he could focus on was the pained look on his son’s face as he fell backwards onto the floor. Owen could feel TK reach for his shoulder, to steady himself, Owen’s own hand gripped the front of TK’s shirt to slow his descent.

Owen could hear the movement around him, vaguely he could someone talking to the child that had shot his son, but Owen only had eyes for his boy. With one hand pressed to the bullet wound on TK’s chest, Owen’s other hand was resting on TK’s face, trying to keep him awake.

Owen could feel the tears in his eyes, as he watched TK struggle to keep his eyes open.

“No, no, no,” He mumbled, pressing harder on the wound, blood seeping out between his fingers, “You stay with me, you hear me? TK?!”

A hand gripped his wrist, trying to pull his hand away from TK’s chest, Owen opened his mouth to curse out the person, only to stop when he made eye contact with Michelle. She was kneeling down next to him, her medical bag opened next to her and Nancy already on the other side of TK, pulling out the necessary equipment to stop the bleeding.

“I need you to let me and my team work Captain,” She told him kindly, “Don’t worry, he’s strong. We’ll get him out of here, no problem, but you’re going to need to give us some space to work.”

“No, Michelle, I can’t leave him,” Owen’s voice was small, like he couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Yes you can.”

“Come on Cap,” Judd’s hands gripped Owen’s shoulders, pulling him away slightly, “Let Michelle work. Your boy’s in good hands.”

Owen let his body be pulled back, Judd’s firm hands keeping him in place, as he watched with unfocused eyes as Michelle and Nancy worked quickly. Nancy cut away TK’s shirt to get to the wound and Owen heard Michelle describe the bullet as a through and through as both women maneuvered TK’s body around.

Blood was now pooling and staining the flooring underneath TK and all Owen could do was stare at the unmoving body of his son.

A backboard and neck brace were passed down the hallway and with practised ease, Michelle and Nancy secured TK to it.

“We need to get him to the hospital, we’ve done what we can, but he’s going to need surgery,” Michelle spoke softly but firmly to Owen, “We need to get him out of here now.”

“Okay,” Owen replied, his voice distant and detached, “Judd, Paul help Michelle get TK to the ambulance.”

“On it Cap.” “You got it Captain.” Both men answered at the same time.

Reaching down, they each grabbed a hold of an end of the backboard and followed Michelle down the hallway and out of the house.

----

Owen didn’t know how long it took to get to the hospital, one minute Marjan was helping him stand, he blinked and then he was sitting in the waiting room, with intake forms on his lap.

Blinking slowly, Owen looked around, he could see the rest of the 126 dotted around the room. Looks of worry painted across their faces, with Judd looking the worst. Owen could only imagine what was going through his head.

“Family for uh, Tyler Strand?” A doctor in scrubs stood at the doorway of the waiting room, a clipboard in his hands.

Owen’s head shot up at the sound of his son’s name. Standing up quickly, Owen made his way to the doctor.

“Tell me how he’s doing doc,” Owen’s voice soft but determined, he needed answers and he needed them now.

“Do you want to talk somewhere more privately?” The doctor asked, while looking around the room, everyone here couldn’t possibly be all family.

“Everyone here is TK’s family,” Owen frowned at the doctor’s tone and held a hand out to shush Judd’s near growl at the doctor, “Now tell me how my son is.”

“Well,” The doctor sighed and pushed his glasses back up his nose, he raised his clipboard, glancing at what was written on it, “Tyler…”

“TK,” Owen interrupted, “He prefers to go by TK.”

“Right,” The doctor cleared his throat, “TK made it through surgery, he will recover in a given time. However, there were a few complications.”

“Complications?” Owen prompted, an eyebrow raised, “Such as?”

The doctor winced at Owen’s tone, he did always hate this part of his job, “Your son’s heart stopped while we were operating. Twice. But we were able to restart it both times. Other than the surgery went well, I was able to remove the bullet fragments and stop the internal bleeding, however, TK is now in a coma.”

Owen’s heart sank, he felt his knees give out from underneath him. Only Paul’s arm around his waist stopped him from hitting the floor, “What’s that mean right now for him?”

“It means your son is very lucky. I strongly believe he will wake up within the next few days, his body is healing in it’s own way. Once he wakes up, with enough rest and PT, he should make a full recovery and be back on the job in no time.”

Owen sighed deeply as he felt the tension in the room lift at the doctor's words, “When can we see him?”

“He’s being moved to a room now,” The doctor explained, “The only thing I ask is that there are only two people to be in the room with him at a time when sitting with him. I don’t want his room overcrowded. I know you all want to see him, but too many at once is the opposite of what he needs right now.”

The group in front of him nodded slowly in agreement at his words, “I’ll have the nurse come get you when he’s settled.”

“Okay,” Owen nodded again, “Thank you doctor.”

The room was silent as the doctor left.

Owen’s mind buzzed with what the doctor had just told them, he couldn’t think of anything else. He was so focused on the fact that his son had literally died on the operating table, that he didn’t notice the movement around him. The rest of the 126 began to plan.

It was Marjan who suggested that they make a rotating roster so there was no chance that TK would wake up alone. Paul pointed out that only one of them was going to be able to see TK at a time, as it was unlikely that Owen would be leaving his son’s side anytime soon. Mateo offered to go on a coffee run or maybe get some food, while Judd and Grace were speaking softly to one of the nurses that had just entered the waiting room.

“Come on boss,” Judd made his way over to Owen, “Shelly here says that TK’s all set up in his room and she’ll take you to him, if you’re ready.”

“Oh,” Owen blinked up at Judd, his words slowly registering. It took him a moment, but when he looked to the young nurse he realized what Judd was saying, “Yes, yes. I’m ready to go now. Thank you Judd. Please lead on Shelly.”

“Right this way, Mr Strand,” Shelly walked away with Owen right on her heels.

As Owen walked towards his son’s room, he could only hope that TK would wake up soon, he couldn’t lose him. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

THE END

[gerberbabey]

teenagers | platonic!pogues

To celebrate reaching 100 followers I meant to post my first request but i lagged Shoutout to that anon!

Request: fem!reader is from obx BUT shes not the usual denim shorts with a cute tank top and minimal makeup yanno shes a little more alt tiktok girl style/euphoria style and shes SUPER sassy and badass. can the scenario be: at a party and stands up to rafe for kie and its her meeting the pogues? so jus the pogues x platonic!reader.

a/n: to the person that sent the request, i forgot to say in the ask: I love you and i appreciate you. hope you love this ❤️   also the hardest part about this was picking out the outfit 💀

masterlist

warnings: cussing, rafe’s a dickhead, underaged drinking, there is talk of sex no actual sex tho sorry, terrible writing (idk who editing is)

♫ Teenagers by My Chemical Romance ♫

As someone who’s lived her entire life on an island, people found it rather odd that you weren’t much of an “island” person. Despite being born and raised in Kildare County, in the Outer Banks, aka “Paradise on Earth”, there was so much about you that didn’t conform to the same lifestyle as those around you. You tended to step away from doing ocean related activities, stood out specifically in the way you presented yourself, and more recently spent more of your time on the mainland than the islands now that school was out for the summer.

“Do you wanna...go...to the....” Sarah trailed off as she stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to your ceilings. Any idea she had involved dressing down into swim wear and going out to the beach or just ocean in general. And she knew you would turn it down despite being grounded and therefore stuck on the island.

When you’d called her and told her that you were bored and in turn needed her company and entertainment, she didn’t really expect you to tell her that your parents had prohibited you from taking the ferry out to the mainland for the next month.

“Y’know, what’d you even do? To get grounded?” Sarah questioned as she lay on your bed while music played from the vintage record player your parents had copped for you a few years back.

“Me and my friends got caught trespassing,” you mumbled, “It was really stupid.”

“You got caught trespassing?” Sarah scoffed.

“Yeah and the only reason we go caught in the first place was because Andy-you remember Andy?” Sarah nodded her head despite the fact that she didn’t now who you were talking about, “Got super high off an indica strain and fell asleep! Lin and Nico got away cus they left me and TK to take care of him! Andy’s fucking huge!”

“Wha-Ok, why were you even trespassing?”

“Cus...we wanted to skate,” you explained and you rolled your eyes Sarah raised her brows at you.

“(Y/N), you got arrested because you wanted to skate?!”

“No, ok I almost got arrested because Andy’s a big motherfucker!” you retorted and Sarah threw her hands up in exasperation.

It was ridiculous but it made sense. Not only were you and your mainland friends kind of reckless, it made sense that your parents grounded you to the island. Sure they were actually extremely lax and reasonable (If Sarah were to describe your parents she would call them Hippies. Hippies straight out of the 60s.)They were understanding of who you were as a person and loved you for it but always warned you that they drew the line at two things and those things were jail time and life threatening injuries.

Sometimes she wondered how the two of you were friends, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. You were one of the few people who didn’t make her feel trapped in the relationship you had. You didn’t have overbearing expectations for her and didn’t base her image off of the one she presented to the public. You were friends with her because of who she was rather than who she seemed to be.

“Ok well, your parents aren’t forcing you to stay home so what do you wanna do?” Sarahh questioned and you sighed.

“I don’t know...I...I literally don’t even do anything on this island.”

Sarah glanced at you and watched as you looked at yourself in your mirror. You’d been going through your closet and had already tried on 6 different outfits since she’d gotten there.

“I heard there’s gonna be a kegger on the boneyard?” Sarah brought up and you paused, looking at her through the mirror. Sarah raised her brows, “We could go to the kegger, drink, smoke, and have fun...or we could stay here...bored...while you try on more outfits,” Sarah tried to make the second option less appealing but considering you were...well, you, you only smiled at her.

“Will you tell me how pretty I look?” you fluttered your eyelashes and Sarah scoffed out a laugh as she grabbed a shirt from the pile of clothes on your bed and bundled it up so she could throw it at you.

“(Y/N) I sat here for 2 hours and watched you do your make up. We’re going to the kegger,” she finalized, “You might as well enjoy yourself while your stuck on the island.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll enjoy myself,” you scoffed, tossing the shirt aside.

"Seriously why don’t you give anyone on this island-aside from me-a chance?” Sarah gave you a hopeful smile.

“Because your brother and his friends wear polos, khaki shorts, and moccasins,” you gave her a mocking smile back and Sarah shrugged as the two of you laughed. You could never understand why Kook boys decided to dress the way they did. Sure the clothes they wore were brand clothing and ridiculously expensive, but that didn’t mean they necessarily looked good.

“Ok, y’know what, I’ll call Topper and we could head out right now. Is that what you wanna wear-”

“Ugh, Topper Thornton? Are you talking to him now?” you groaned and Sarah gave you a look.

“What? He’s cute!” Sarah defended and you rolled your eyes.

“I just don’t trust it. For whatever reason, every cute guy on this island has daddy issues,” you undid the belt around your waist and slipped the large button up shirt off your shoulders, leaving yourself standing in your underwear  and jewelry as you pointed to Sarah to emphasize your point.

“Well Topper obviously does not have daddy issues.”

“Yeah because he has mommy issues,” you snorted and Sarah couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her lips.

“That’s not funny (Y/N)!” she chastised though she was giggling behind her hand.

“Uh, yeah it is,” you shot back and you looked around you at the pile of clothes spread across the floor. You picked up some clothes and too your time to put them on (just to irritate Sarah a little) before you turned to the mirror and looked over your outfit and how it matched with your make up.

“Are you good?” Sarah asked as she slipped her sandals onto her feet. You tilted your head and reached up to muss up your hair a little before nodding.

“Yeah ok,” you answered before you went over to turn off your record player. You stepped over the clothes you’d thrown around the room as you followed after Sarah, making sure to turn your lights off as you went.

“That’s Topper’s car,” Sarah pointed out once you turned around from locking your front door (your parents had banned you from the mainland but that didn’t mean they weren’t allowed to go live their lives) and you tried not to cringe as you noticed that Rafe and Kelce were also in the car.

“Wow, the whole frats here,” you mumbled as Sarah opened the door and let you slide in first.

“Hey (Y/N),” Kelce greeted kindly and you smiled at him, scooting a bit closer so that Sarah could fit in.

“Hi,” you greeted. Kelce was alright. He didn’t really do much aside from follow around Rafe and Topper but outside of that he wasn’t the worst. You thought that maybe if he didn’t feel the need to follow those two around you would get along with him pretty easily.

“Hey,” Topper greeted you awkwardly from the rearview mirror, before he grinned at Sarah. You rolled your eyes even as Sarah nudged at your ribs.

“(Y/N),” Rafe drawled and you tilted your head to the side as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Rafe,” you replied pointedly.

There was an awkward, tense silence in the car before Topper cleared his throat.

“Let’s go?” he questioned and all of you mumbled back some type of confirmation.

By the time you’d gotten to the Boneyard you were overheated in Topper’s car. You’d shrugged off your cardigan, ignoring Rafe’s glance back at you as you continued to mumble to Sarah about something. Topper pulled up to the side of the road, carefully parking his car amongst the billions of other cars that found themselves at the Boneyard.

“I’m literally sweating so much right now,” you whined as you stumbled out of the car, “Why is it so hot in your car Topper?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that sweater,” Topper pointed out and you gave him a look.

“Don’t knock my outfit just cus I know how to dress myself,” you scoffed before you headed off, tugging Sarah along with you. The three boys followed after you, talking between themselves. A few people greeted your lot as you made your way into the heart of the Boneyard, where the kegger was being held. There was a bonfire lit and noise all around. You and Sarah found yourselves mixing in with a group of Tourons, talking about something or another. Rafe, Kelce, and Topper were standing only a few feet away with some of their usual Kook friends.

“Should we get a drink?” you asked Sarah as you settled into the atmosphere and Sarah took a deep breath before she looked over to the keg. In the center of the beach party was usually John B and his usual crew of JJ, Pope, and Kie. The keg was currently being manned by Kie Carrera herself, her 3 friends out of sight. Sarah pursed her lips and shook her head.

“I don’t really wanna head over there,” she told you and you raised a brow.

“You’re gonna drag me to this kegger and....not go to the keg...because of a girl you kind of had beef with your freshman year?”

“(Y/N),” Sarah said firmly and you rolled your eyes.

“Ok I’ll go get us drinks,” you put your arms up and Sarah opened her mouth to protest but you only waved her off as you made your way through the beach. The sand was a little firmer around the Boneyard so you didn’t have to worry that much about your shoes or your ankles giving out on you.

You stepped into where you figured people were lining up to be handed drinks and smoothed out your outfit, ignoring the looks being shot your way. You were used to those at this point.

“Do you always walk off by yourself?”

You tried not to roll your eyes into the back of your head as Rafe stepped up beside you, following the motion of the haphazard line to get closer to the keg.

“Do you always have to bother me?” you replied and Rafe shook his head.

“Yeah I don’t know what your problem with me is (Y/N) but-”

“But?” You cut off Rafe, staring up at him as he clenched his jaw in irritation, “We don’t need to get along Rafe. I’d limit all unnecessary interaction with you if I could, but you just...keep following me around.”

Rafe stayed quiet as you turned away and stepped forward.

“Hey, can I get two?” you requested and the girl manning the keg, Kie, laughed as she filled up a red solo cup.

“Geez up for a wild night?” she looked up, half way to handing you your first cup, and stopped short as she noticed who she was talking to.

“More like an ok night,” you told her taking the cup from her and ignoring the look of shock on her face.

“Oh uh...yeah...I totally get you,” she laughed awkwardly and picked up another red solo cup to fill. You rolled your eyes while she wasn’t looking. You didn’t wanna be caught up in whatever beef these two girls had. You were friends with Sarah sure but it’s not like what Kie had allegedly done was that huge of a deal. Not like anyone had actually gotten arrested (Literally. The cops had arrived and had only asked for the noise level to go down). And you knew Kie. She and Sarah had been best friends at the Kook academy your freshman year and you had been acquaintances with both of them. And though their relationship broke abruptly, and Sarah had begun getting closer to you, you didn’t understand the need to ostracize Kie for something that you weren’t sure she even did.

“Uh so how’s that going so far?” Kie questioned glancing at you and you shrugged.

“I mean I’ve been here for a,” you checked your bare wrist, “solid 20 minutes at least and I’m not arrested or dead so it’s alright.”

“For you, 20 minutes seems pretty good,” Kie joked and she paused unsure if she could even joke with you like this. It was common knowledge that you tended to avoid the Outer Banks and it’s residents as much as you could once no longer tied down to school. Yet as you only chuckled and agreed, Kie smiled, tucking some lose hair behind her ear, “I like your outfit by the way. Not very beach practical, but still very cute.”

“Am I ever beach practical,” you responded and Kie laughed as she nodded in agreement.

“That’s true.”

As Kie reached out to hand you your second cup, a larger hand snatched it up. The lighthearted atmosphere immediately dropped to a tense one as the two of you looked up in unison.

“Oh shit thanks Kiara,” Rafe laughed and you and Kie both shot him a glare.

“Don’t call me Kiara,” Kie hissed and Rafe only shrugged, smirking smugly.

“I think I’ll call a rat whatever I want,” he spit and Kie looked down at the sand in dejection as you frowned at Rafe.

“What the fuck Rafe, are you serious?”

“Hey, I just call out it how it is,” Rafe shrugged.

“I’m not a rat, kook,” Kie’s jaw was clenched in anger.

“Just leave dude,” you told Rafe, “You’re literally being an asshole for nothing.”

“Are you seriously defending her (Y/N)?” Rafe turned to you and you squared up in front of him despite his obvious height advantage. You wouldn’t let someone like Rafe Cameron intimidate you, “I thought you were friends with my sister?”

“And this is any of your business how?” you questioned and Rafe shoulders straightened up in an obvious feeling of defensiveness. Kie’s eyes were wide in shock as she glanced between you and Rafe. Something she definitely didn’t expect was one of Sarah’s closest friends coming to defend her against Sarah’s brother. But you had always been different from the other Kooks and Kie should’ve never underestimated that aspect of you.

“Hey you got an issue or something Kook!?” a voice called out and Kie watched as JJ, with John B and Pope following after him, made their way through the crowd of people. Rafe looked at them over your head but you didn’t even glance away.

“This isn’t your issue Pogues. It’s not always about you,” Rafe huffed and you tilted your head.

“Oh and it’s about you, Rafe?” you questioned and the attention turned back to you. Your necklaces jingled as you adjusted your footing, “Of course it is right? Why else would you be hanging around a bunch of teenagers?”

“You need to watch what you say next,” Rafe breathed, a hostile smile on his face.

“You’re an adult Rafe...and you subject yourself to hanging around people three years younger than you because you have no other way of maintaining your bullshit superiority,” you spoke in a low tone, eager to get under Rafe’s nerves and Rafe’s nerves only, “Oh...sorry if those words were too big for you,” you smiled up at him as your audience chuckled at Rafe’s expense.

From the side the four Pogues watched the interaction go down with wide eyes. They had barely acknowledged the Kooks who had pushed their way to the front of the scene and Sarah, Topper, and Kelce watched the two of you with anticipation. Rafe’s jaw clenched before he licked his lips and smiled that predatory smile of his, he leaned in close to you and you didn’t make a single attempt at back down or away from him.

“Yeah I’m real sure you didn’t think that when I was fucking you on my family’s boat the other night,” he said and a glance to the side indicated that the closest people, that being Kie and her Pogue friends, had heard him. You huffed as you tried to keep your cool.

“Y’know what Rafe? Maybe I would’ve actually enjoyed you fucking me...if you weren’t so far up your dad’s ass-” You gasped in unison with the crowd’s sudden yelling as Rafe threw his cup-drink and all- onto your entire front.

“OOOH SHIT!”

“What the fuck Rafe!?”

“Rafe stop it!”

Topper was quick to pull back Rafe as JJ and John B rushed to step in front of you. You panted heavily as Pope and Kie pulled you back and away from where a fight was very likely going to happen.

You sputtered at the sudden beer that had gone up your nose and you brought a hand up to try and wipe it off of your face, your make up likely ruined beyond repair at this point.

“You are such a pussy Rafe!” JJ yelled and Rafe let out a roar of anger as he broke out of Topper’s grip and shoved at JJ. John B shoved him back and return and soon enough the first punch was thrown. The crowd jeered at them in excitement, cheering them on as Topper, John B, JJ, and Rafe pummeled one another.

“Hey hey hey, are you ok?” Kie questioned you in a haste and you huffed as you wiped at your face once more, slicking your wet hair back.

“Fine-I’m fine! It’s literally...beer and a plastic cup,” you told her to try and stop her from fretting. If she was anything like Sarah...You shook your head and tried to gently push away Pope’s hands as you turned to watch the fight go down. The Kooks seemed to have gotten the upper hand so far and though you cringed you weren’t too surprised. Rafe was a pretty big guy, bigger than John B at least, and Topper seemed to hop onto JJ when the other blonde was already down.

“I think you should be more worried about your friends,” you pointed out and Kie and Pope whipped their heads up to watch their friends fight a losing battle.

“Shit!” Pope hissed.

“Dammit,” Kie breathed, “Get the hell off of them!” she yelled fruitlessly.

“Should I call the cops or something?” you questioned and Pope and Kie stared at you with wide eyes.

“What?! No!” Pope yelled and you put your arms up in defense.

“Ok jeez relax,” you chastised and Pope shrugged, embarrassed. The three of you watched the fight for only a moment longer before you cursed and rushed into the midst of it.

“(Y/N)?!”

“Jesus what is she doing?!-”

“(Y/N) stop!”  

A flurry of voices called out to you as jumped onto Toppers back and tried to get him off of JJ. Topper struggled against you, clearly disoriented and agitated.

“Get-” Topper pulled your arms from around his shoulders and you yelped as he shoved you off. You landed harshly on the sand but quickly scrambled to get back up. If you learned anything from skating, it was get the fuck up as soon as you could and pretend shit didn’t hurt.

“What the fuck are you doing (Y/N)!?” Topper yelled at you and you shoved him back to the general direction of where you figured Kelce and Sarah were as JJ tried to get himself together and Rafe and John B grappled with one another.

“Stop Topper,” you told him firmly before you turned, keeping your hand on Topper’s chest, “Rafe! Quit it, for fuck’s sake!”

JJ had gotten up at this point and was quick to shove Rafe off of John B and into the sand. John B staggered to stand up straight and you winced at the bruises already forming on his face. The two pogues stumbled back and away from Rafe and the Kooks, leaving you in the middle of their standoff.

“Alright, party’s over! Get the hell off our side!” JJ yelled and there was a murmur within the crowd as they began to disperse. Pogues and Kooks sneered at one another as they walked off toward their cars and Tourons only shrugged off the events of the night, clearly not looped into the deeper conflict of the island.

“C’mon (Y/N),” Rafe spit blood out onto the sand as Topper, Kelce, and Sarah stood behind him.

“Fuck you Rafe” you retorted, crossing your arms. You looked past him to Sarah and the girl only furrowed her brows, unsure of what you wanted her to do.

“Why don’t you just leave her alone Cameron?” JJ moved to stand beside you and everyone, including you, looked at JJ in surprise. John B raised a brow at his best friend but moved forward to stand by your other side as Rafe ground his teeth. The tall male ran a hand through his slicked back hair, pushing into a messy look that you’d usually be all over, but you couldn’t stand him right now.

“Fine, if you wanna stay here with these dirty Pogues, than be my fucking guest,” Rafe huffed and you only shrugged, unbothered.

“Better than being around you right now.”

“(Y/N)...” Sarah called and you looked at her. Her eyebrows were furrowed in distress and you couldn’t help the pang of guilt that shot through you for a moment but you stood your ground, “C’mon...please?”

“Sarah I love you but I didn’t even wanna come here tonight, let alone hang around your psycho brother. I’m not leaving with you guys,” you concluded, before you reached down to take your shoes off, “I’m just gonna fuckin’ walk.”

You ignored the calls of your name as you walked away from the boneyard and out onto the street. You didn’t really care that your socks were probably super dirty now, or that it was starting to get cold and you were drenched in beer. Alright...well you did kind of care that you were drenched and smelled like beer. You pulled your phone out and sighed at the message from your parents telling you that they’d be staying in your grandparent’s home in the mainland.

All your friends were on the mainland. Aside from Sarah. And maybe Scarlet but you really didn’t wanna deal with her right now.

The sound of a car pulling up beside you made you roll your eyes.

“Leave me alone please,” you told them, not even sparing whoever it was a glance as you continued walking.

“Not happening princess.”

You turned to look at JJ and the Pogues in surprise.

“Kie?” you questioned pausing in your trek. Their van followed as John B pressed on the breaks.

“Hey (Y/N),” Kie was leaning out the window of the passengers seat, her eyebrows furrowed in worry, “Let us take you home?”

“I really don’t-”

“C’mon (Y/L/N), it’s freezing and your dripping beer. Just get in the Twinkie,” JJ pulled the van door open even further, motioning for you to get in. It was kind of them, really it was. But JJ’s tone had irritated you and your hardheadedness so you only crossed your arms, your shoes dangling from the tips of your fingers.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because we....are offering you warmth and transportation?” JJ sassed.

“JJ. Shut up,” Pope slapped JJ’s chest and the blonde shot him an offended look. Kie rolled her eyes at them and opened the passengers side, stepping out of the car and walking up to you. She hugged herself, a bit insecure as she stood a few feet from you.

“I just..really wanna thank you. For defending me against Rafe,” Kie started, “And uh...I feel like I’ve always kind of judged you just cus you became Sarah’s friend after what happened between me and her, but you’re really cool...and you didn’t have to defend me, but you did.”

You shrugged.

“Doesn’t take much to be a good person,” you answered and Kie nodded.

“Yeah...um but..I just feel bad...that you got caught in the middle of that when you didn’t have to. So please let us take you home? I’m not even trying to...return the favor or anything...it’s just the right thing to do for someone who's always been cool with me...”

You pursed your lips and bit your cheek as Kie looked at you pleadingly.

“You are so corny...” you murmured and Kie only chuckled as she led you over to the van. She slid the door closed behind you as you made your way over to a vacant spot.

“Hey there,” JJ greeted with a grin and Pope waved at you awkwardly.

“Not gonna happen Maybank,” you told him bluntly and his grin dropped.

“Ohoshit,” Pope coughed and Kie snorted as John B shook his head, shifting the gears and driving off toward the other side of the island.

“Wha-hey you never know,” JJ teased and you chuckled.

“Hmm, the rebellious surfer boy isn’t really my type JJ. Sorry.”

“Really? What’s your type then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you smirked, crossed your legs and leaning back against your seat.

“I would like to know actually, that’s why I asked,” JJ quipped and you laughed.

“Ok fine...My type is Heyward here,” you nodded toward the boy and he straightened up in surprise. Pope’s mouth dropped and he floundered for a moment, pointing to himself.

“Pope?! Really?” JJ yelped as Pope smacked him upside the head.

“Screw you JJ,” Pope hissed, though there wasn’t any true animosity in it.

“Yeah I mean Pope’s really cute. Aside from Pope I’d also say Kie but I didn’t want you getting too excited.”

Pope flushed at the compliment and JJ’s eyes widened as he looked over to Kie. The girl turned to look over her shoulder in shock. She turned back to face the front, her cheeks warm, and a smile on her face as John B chuckled from the driver’s seat.

“Sorry bubba but I’d pick Pope too,” John B said and JJ made an offended noise.

“Hey!”

Your group laughed and you couldn’t help but sink into the comfortable and fun atmosphere that came with being with these Pogues. Perhaps you should’ve tried to give them a chance before.

“Oh shit uh where do you live again?” John B asked.

no part 2 sorry :/

[eugenesmorphine]

Love Struck // Edward “Babe” Hefferon Imagine

Taglist: @alienoresimagines

  There she was. Laughing with her best friend David Webster. I watched as she snorted at one of his jokes and through her head back. God, that fucking laugh. Luz was telling some stupid story, but I wasn't paying any attention to it in the slightest. I was too focused on her. Y/N L/N. Every since the first day of training in Toccao she had caught my eye. And it wasn't until a few months into training I realized I had fallen in love with her. Now we are in Austria, and I haven't told her my feelings yet. I'm an idiot. I always acted like a total dumbass around her, I can't help it! She is just so- so perfect! In every way. Her hair was a beautiful H/C, they way he fell out of her helmet when she took it off and how she flipped it to make it fall just perfect. Made me weak. They way she smiled at almost anything and everything, just because no matter whay she is almost always smiling. How she is so determined to finish any tasks given to her. She was so fucking gorgeous. So perfect. So, so her. She was going to be the real death of me.

   Many of the guys caught on to my feelings. They say the have seen the way I look at her, and has seen the amount of times I just stare at her. It wasn't wrong. I stare at the female, just admiring her. Isntead of going to talk to her like a real man. I'm an idiot.

    I finally, after basically years of contemplating, I went up to Y/N and Webster. Ignoring all the calls of the guys, wanting me tk go back with them. I watched as Y/N's gaze traveled from staring at Web and joking with him to looking at me. She gave me a large, warm smile. I could feel my face heat up and my ears turn red. I gave a shy, dorky smile back, just staring at her face. That was until I tripped and landed right on my face. Real smooth Babe. Real fucking smooth.

    I stood up quickly, brushing ny trousers off as I looked back up at her. Giving her a awkward grin. She was giggling. I was so embaressed. My face turned an even darker shade of red. Webster was laughing at well. I walked up to them, and Y/N looked up at me,nand I looked down at her. I noticed a faint dust of pink spread across her cheeks. I could've kissed her in that moment. She looked so pretty. Like a princess.

  "I'll give you two lovebirds some alone time!" Webster called out as he began to walk away. I gave him a slight glare while I watched Y/N cover her mouth to stiffle a laugh. From there, Y/N and I just talked. About anything and everything at the same time. It was nice.

 Quickly, it got dark. And that means lights out. "Looks like I have to head in, Webster probably thinks you stole me!" she joked, laughing softly. I smiled down at her and nodded.

"Me too, I don't want to get either of us in trouble. So goodnight Y/N! See you tomorrow!" I called to her as we walked seperate ways to go to our little barracks.

"Good night Babe!" She called back. Man, when she said it. It felt like I was on top of the world. I'm so whipped. And just like that, what I sat down on my bed, I couldn't stop smiling. I was more than happy in that moment. I was proud of myself. I had a real conversation with the girl I had been in love with for years. Maybe it got things rolling?

  Hours passed, and I couldn't sleep. And I had to pee. So I got up out of bed, then walking out of my sleeping quarters and walking outside. After I had finished doing my business. I began to walk back. I noticed smoke coming from Y/N's balcony. Knowing it must of been her smoking. She never really sleeps. I noticed that almost every night she stayed out and smoked. This was my chance.

 I ran to the other side of her sleeping quarters, opening the doot slowly and carefully, not wanting to wake anyone. I then snuck over to her balcony. And, like usually, she was out smoking a cigarette, leaning against the railing.

"Can't sleep?" I asked. She turned around so fast and placed a hand to her chest.

"Don't scare me like that Babe!" She said, sighing as she flicked her cigarette away. Soon just pulling out another one and placing it between her beautiful, plump lips. She lit it, then turning the pack of smokes towards me, offering me one. I gladly excepted, placing it between my chapped lips and she lit it for me. I took and drag and exhaled the smoke. She stared at me for a moment before taking a sit on the ground, looking up at the sky. How could a girl be so beautiful.

 "Don't keep being awkward Babe, come sit," she said, patting the ground next to her. Once again, with that award winning smile of hers. I nodded, stuttering out an 'okay' before sitting next to her. We sat in silence for a bit. But soon began talking like we had been earlier. She had laughed at one of my joked and I knew I had to tell her.

   "Y/N, I'm in love with you," I blurted out. My face feeling one thousand degrees. My heart beat raced as I sucked in a large breath and swallowed. I watched as the girl next to me giggled softly. Looking over at me and tossing her cigarrete away, finishing hers much quicker than I had.

    "You think I didn't notice you goon? How you stuttered around me, how you always blushed, how to get all clumsy, and I catch you staring all the time," she explained, still laughing slightly. I felt like the biggest dumbass. How could I have been more obvious? I looked away from her. "Though, I thought it was adorable," she said softly, that caught my attention. She looked into my eyes with a soft expression.

   I didn't hesitate. I quickly pressed my lips against hers, bringing my left hand up to hold her face. Our lips moved in sink. My face felt hot and so did hers. God this was perfect. I have been dreaming of this day for years.

  Y/N pulled away. Smiling a soft, shy smile. Looking down at the floor boards of the balcony. "I love you too Babe," the female had said ever so softly. I was weak. I pecked her lips quickly once more.

   "Come back to the states with me, it'll be perfect!" I exclaimed, holding her waist. She giggles and nodded, cupping my face to kiss me again. Our kiss was cut short due to a certain someone.

  "Finally! I've been waiting for like two fucking years you two!" Yelled Webster. Again, I rolled my eyes and glared at him whilst Y/N giggled. She was so pure. I looked back at her and kissed her again. This is where my life begins.

[patsisfly]

Nolan Patrick- Two Little Angels

Warnings: none

A/N you can request full length imagines or blurbs, just drop a player and scenario in my box:)

So the first time you were pregnant, Nolan was... chaotic to say the least. He just had to know absolutely everything: how you were feeling, what you wanted to eat, if your mild headache meant he needed to call the doctor.

And then came the shopping. What kind of crib, what color to paint the nursery, how many stuffed animals can fit in the house.

And then came the emotions. Is he ready to be a father? He was scared he was gonna mess it up. He was weighed down with the responsibility of keeping a wife and a new baby girl happy and safe. But the minute she was born, everything fell into place.

He cried, even though he tried to hide it. Nearly stunned to silence, he looked down at her lovingly as you cradled her small body wrapped in a pink blanket. “She’s beautiful, huh?” You say, feeling incredibly soft at seeing him like this.

He nods and pushes his bottom lip out a bit. “She really is,” he practically whispers, reaching over to trail a timid finger down her soft cheek. “We really made her.”

You nod in agreement, also in awe of your first little baby- a mix of you and your husband. You guys name her Hanna and your family of three thrives right away.

Nolan was so obsessed with her. Late at night if she woke up crying- which she did quite a lot- he would rock her gently and talk to her in a soft voice, slightly higher pitched than his regular speaking voice. He would tell her how much mommy and daddy love her and that if she can’t sleep, it’s okay because anytime she can’t sleep mommy and daddy will be there for her.

He kept that promise too.

When she was a little bit older, and in a big girl bed, she had some bad dreams. She would shuffle into your bedroom with her thumb in her mouth, eyes wide and nervous. One night you and Nolan were just laying on the bed, watching some movie on tv when the little girl made her appearance.

“Hanny, it’s late. What’s wrong?” You said softly, stretching out your arms for her. She rushed over to your side of the bed, and you pull her up and onto your lap. “I had a bad dream,” she cries.

You push back hair from her face and kiss her head. “Don’t worry hunny. It wasn’t real.”

She sniffles. Beside you, Nolan pouts at the sad girl and reaches over to rub her back. The touch catches her attention, and with a single look, she’s reaching out for her daddy. He lifts her and cradles her in his arms, and she immediately nuzzles her head into his chest.

He doesn’t even have to say anything, she finds comfort in him. He’s her safety, and that’s his favorite thing. “What was your dream about?”

“There was a dinosaur eating everybody,” she whimpers. Nolan and you share a look over her head. Ever since she insisted on watching Jurassic Park with you two the other night, you were waiting for this to happen.

“Dinosaurs aren’t gonna get you, baby. I promise,” Nolan says, wiping away her tears. She nods but still has tears streaming down her face. You sigh and reach over to help wipe at them.

“How about you sleep with us tonight?” Nolan says to her. “You, me, mommy, and baby.”

Her little mouth stretches into a smile at the mention of the future baby in your growing tummy. That seems to have cheered her up considerably as she spins around in Nolan’s arms so she can reach your belly. “Is baby sleeping, mommy?” She asks.

You nod and rest a hand on your stomach, “I think so. Baby has been quiet for a few hours.”

The three of you lay down again, with Hanna in the middle. She occupies herself by either rubbing your tummy and talking to baby or by playing with Nolan’s hair. Her recent favorite hobby is brushing his hair with her hot pink brush.

“I can’t wait for baby to be here,” she says after a few minutes of silence.

“Me too,” you say. “Do you think it’s gonna be a boy baby or a girl baby?”

She ponders that for a minute, and then decides. “Girl baby!”

“I think it’s gonna be a boy baby,” Nolan chimes in. Hanna gasps and turns to her dad with wide eyes. “No! Girl baby!”

Nolan raises his eyebrows at her and laughs. “You don’t want a brother?”

She shakes her head. “No!” Oh geez. She’s entering the toddler phase, she gets assertive quite a lot. Nolan still thinks it’s cute, but if he were home as much as you he would probably be getting tired of it as well.

“Hanna, you’re going to be the best big sister even if it is a boy baby, okay?” You say, trying to ease the situation. She reluctantly agrees and then settles back down onto the mattress. It seems like a good place to call it a night, so with a big family kiss and hug, the three of you get to sleep soundly.

When baby boy is born a few months later, Hanna is just ecstatic. When you guys found out the sex of the baby, you sat her down to tell her the news. At first she was a bit upset that she wouldn’t have a sister, but once you bought her a boy baby doll she got used to the idea of a little brother. After initial glee after his birth, Nolan goes to pick up your daughter from TK’s place where you had hurriedly dropped her off when you went into labor. Luckily, the team wasn’t on the road.

When Nolan enters the hospital room with Hanna on his hip, she’s clutching her boy baby doll tightly and grinning in anticipation. “Baby!” She exclaims and points wildly.

“Come say hi!” You say and pat the open space on the bed beside you. She scrambles out of Nolan’s arms and up onto the bed, peering into the bundle of blankets in your arms. “Oooh,” She coos. She rubs his head gently- you had practiced with the baby doll for weeks.

And just like that, your family of three becomes a family of four.

It’s different this time because baby boy was born in the midst of hockey season. Nolan gets a few days off from the team, but it’s not enough. He hates it as well, because the first few weeks of Hanna’s life are some of his favorite memories.

It’s hard taking care of two kids alone, but you have no choice. Everything is just easier when Nolan is home. When he is, you don’t have to breastfeed baby Luke with a three year climbing all over you. Hanna is as helpful as a toddler can be. When she’s in a good mood, she is your little helper around the house. Her and her mood swings are starting to remind you of Nolan.

When Nolan gets home after a few days on the road, Hanna runs to him before he even puts down his suitcase. “Daddy! I missed you!”

He picks her up and kisses her forehead. “I missed you too, Hanny. Where’s mommy?”

“Kitchen!” You yell. You’re at the stove making a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. Luke is in his floor chair lounger, wide awake from his nap. When Nolan enters the kitchen, he gives you a soft smile. He looks tired from the recent trip. You go up on your toes and kiss him lightly. Hanna giggles and squirms out of Nolan’s arms. “How was it?” You ask. The team has had a rough couple weeks, unable to string together any sort of winning streak.

“It was okay. Just glad to be home,” he responds. You nod and smile softly. It’s only November, he already seems burnt out. He looks down at the baby, grinning and bending down to pick him up. “And I’m glad to see you buddy. You got so big since last Friday!”

He cuddles the five week old and kisses his cheek, trying his darndest to make him laugh.

“Did you win the games, daddy?” Hanna asks from her seat at the table, pausing her coloring.

“We won some of the games. I scored two goals, one for you and one for Luke,” he says. Hanna giggles. “None for mommy?”

I laugh, “I got all the goals before you were born, Hanny.” Nolan agrees.

While you finish dinner, Nolan stands next to you at the stove. He wants to know everything you and the kids did while he was gone. Even though you’ve talked on the phone, he wants to hear it all again.

“Daddy, can you drive me to school tomorrow?” Hanna asks, a mouth full of spaghetti. She goes to pre school two days a week for a couple hours each morning.

You lean back in your chair, getting comfortable while you breast feed Luke. “Sweetie, tomorrow is daddy’s day off. Why don’t we let him sleep, okay?”

She pouts at you, and in turn so does Nolan. You raise your eyebrows at him; it’s his day off, he can spend it how he wants. “I’ll take you tomorrow,” he says with a smile, “we’ll let mommy sleep instead.”

[fj-stories]

The Dragon in the Library

Lilim have a hard time with gravity in Sade Hall. Like that annoying “tk-th-tz” consonant in Infernal that has to be learned as a child if you’re ever going to have hope of pronouncing it at all, relativistic gravity is something one simply has to grow up with. Some Lilim are fortunate enough to be born close to the border with Sade Hall or in communities of those who know the secret ways of travel between realms. Of these who sneak across into Sade Hall for parties as teenagers, most eventually get a handle on the idea that all directions are equal. However, given the hard reality of life in a realm four and a half lightyears across, the best most of those Lilim who first make it to Sade Hall as adults can muster is a stubborn insistence that “my way is the True Down” that will not be relinquished no matter how sexy the potential new playmate walking on “the ceiling.”

Raldr was not from the borderlands. He was from a village of vampires in the Garden in the shadow of the mountains, thousands of miles from both the border with Sade Hall and the sea. There were rumors that a reclusive academic at the university in a neighboring town could step from the shadows of his study into a conference room at a university in Sade Hall, but no one in Raldr’s village had ever been to Sade Hall or knew anyone who had—not even his wandering (by local standards) Uncle Reed. So little knowledge of the place had reached his village, in fact, that when he finally got to Sade Hall himself he was completely unprepared to step through the door onto a street lined with houses facing sixteen different directions.

By all rights, this should have unhinged him—especially since he managed to avoid the small army of Sade who dutifully cruise the border places between the Garden and Sade Hall looking for frightened Lilim. Many claim the greatest of all his mighty deeds was managing to walk all the way from the border with the Garden to the Library in Sade Hall without being “helped,” but he was determined to reach the library. It was inconceivable, after all, that a library would submit to the same chaos as the street. Lamp posts and even houses can be bolted down, but librarians, surely, would not stand for books flying everywhere, which was the only state of things he could imagine in a place where everyone gets to decide what Down is.

After only a few minutes of shock, he steeled himself. With a determined hope for order, he stepped forward, took a few steps and stumbled, took a few steps more and fell. From then on, he kept his eyes resolutely on the obsidian strip he decided was his walkway until he reached the library steps, reassuring himself in muttered obscenities that even Lilith herself, patron goddess of the Garden, wouldn’t stand for this.

It wasn’t until Raldr blundered into the library, pushed his way through the crowds of young scholars waiting for a tour, and reached the tunneled stacks that he stopped and looked up. Then his last hope for ordered laws of physics was stripped from him as he saw the tunnel of shelves, winding around without ceiling or floor, packed with books.

He dropped to his knees and wept.

“Sade’s balls,” a voice behind him said.

Raldr looked over his shoulder for the source of the profanity and saw a demon girl with grey skin tinged purple, curled horns, and a whip-like tail that lashed in agitation. Her fangs were shorter than his, but this didn’t reassure him at all. He’d heard of the demons in Sade Hall and the great magicians who bound them in thrall. His mother insisted before he left that he buy some anti-demon spray as soon as he crossed the border, but he had, of course, seen no such thing.

“You’ve got it bad,” the demon girl said. “Are you from the Garden?”

Raldr nodded and tried to discreetly wipe his tears away with his sleeve.

“How did you come all this way without learning to walk?”

“I walked,” Raldr said defensively.

“Lurched, more like,” she said. “I’ve been following you since I saw you outside Master’s house. You almost walked into the hibiscus, and I said, ‘That one’s not right, that Lilim.’ I’ve never seen a Lilim disrespect a sacred plant. It was a gift from Lilith herself, y’know.”

Most people would have apologized for endangering something so precious, but the casual mention of a demon-summoning magician getting a gift from Raldr’s own patron goddess made Raldr’s vertigo even worse.

“You’ve got it bad,” she said again and knelt in front of him and felt his forehead with her tail. “You’re not sick, at least. We’ve just got to get you walking Sade-wise. Can I help you?”

He nodded, and she held out a hand. He took it and allowed himself to be pulled up.

“It’s really easy,” she said.

“If you say so,” he said and started to tip.

She moved behind him and steadied him with her hands on his shoulders.

“It’s lucky you managed to get here,” she said. “The library is the easiest place for Lilim to learn, or so I’ve heard. They say the rivers goddess made sure when they were designing the place there would be a nice convenient path. See how there’s a strip of wood that goes in a spiral? Just follow that.”

“I can’t walk on walls,” Raldr said.

“You can, though,” she contradicted. “All you have to do is want it bad enough.”

Raldr whined.

“Or, you can jump over the books on this side, I guess,” she said. “Like rock hopping in a stream. You won’t be able to reach most of the books that way, though.”

“I think I have no choice,” he said.

“I’d stay and help you, but Master is calling me. We’re going on a ski trip, and he wants me to help him pack.”

Before he could say another word, a purple pentagram formed between them, and she was summoned off with reassurances that someone would be sure to come along to help the cute Lilim boy, waving her tail goodbye.

Raldr closed his eyes until the vertigo passed. Then, for the first time, he really looked around. The Library in Sade Hall was different than he expected. The way his family talked about it, he expected dripping castle walls and pale monsters hidden in black cloaks. Instead, the place was bathed in the cold, clean light of crystal lamps that illuminated walls lined with statues of literary and intellectual giants in artistically sensual poses. There were monsters enough, but most of them weren’t wearing very much at all, and many of them seemed as nice and approachable as one he had just met, far from the brooding monsters of shadow his Uncle Reed warned him about.

So, where would he find what he was looking for? Where were the candlelit stacks patrolled by yellow eyes that watched him from the shadows? He’d been dreaming of them ever since he cut his first fang. His dreams called to him, filled him with longing to leave the garden and roam the stacks with the thrill of dread that raised the hairs on the back of his neck.

A place like that had to be in Sade Hall, and where else but the library? It was obvious the library was huge. It was possible that the atmosphere he was looking for existed in some remote corner. If so, he would definitely need help finding it.

He stumbled to the entrance and joined the group for a tour. This group, like every group of people in Sade Hall Raldr had seen on his journey, couldn’t agree on which way was up, and it was easy to tell who was comfortable with this arrangement. The native Sade seemed to prefer any Down but the direction Raldr thought was Down. They chatted comfortably on what looked to him like the wall and ceiling while the few Lilim huddled together in silence with green faces.

The tour began when the tour guide, a figure in a hooded cloak the color of smoke, floated up to the group. The guide’s hood was up, but Raldr could see under it just enough to see the empty eye sockets of a skull staring back at him.

This was promising, he thought.

The tour guide raised a skeletal hand and spun slowly so everyone could see from their angle. The chatter of the Sade died down to a murmur. When all was quiet, the guide stopped spinning and pointed with an open hand down a tunnel corridor labeled “Tall Tales of the Mountain People.” When it seemed that all interested parties had seen him, he floated off in that direction, spiraling effortlessly along the walkway as he went.

As soon as the group started to move, the Sade began to chatter again. This annoyed Raldr, who was far from the front of the pack and worried that he was missing what was being said by the guide. After walking for several minutes, they stopped in front of a statue of a woman in mountain garb climbing an ice wall, and Raldr pushed his way to the front and listened, but the guide gestured to the statue and said nothing. Raldr admired the statue while he waited for the guide to speak. It looked like the statue had been carved from blue ice. Standing in front of it made him feel like he’d been hit with a blast of cold, which was refreshing in the hot library, with its temperature tuned for those without clothes.

After a few moments of quiet contemplation from the tour guide, the group moved on without a word from the guide.

No wonder the Sade were talking, he thought.

From there, they passed a bright airy room labeled “The Counting Room.” In it were people consulting thick leather tomes, writing things down in ledgers with luxurious white feather pens. As Raldr stared, the people seemed to glow.

“Mostly scholars from Isla Virgo in there it seems to me,” a Lilim standing next to him said. He was fangless and seemed to be only slightly more comfortable in Sade Hall than Raldr. “Boring.”

Raldr agreed, but he wouldn’t have said so, though he admired the guy’s frankness. Straight-talk was a value among the Lilim he grew up with. With the Consent Protection active in the civilized areas of the garden, communicating your desires and intentions clearly and directly was a matter of great importance among his vampire kin. While those they called “foodies”—like the bored Lilim beside him—had no such requirement with their diet of fruit, most tended to see the value of “just say it and get on with it.”

The tour moved on, and Raldr was pleased to find he and the other Lilim, who introduced himself as Stayan, fell into uneasy step together.

“Have you been here long?” Raldr asked.

“Not long, but it feels like long, if you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Raldr said. “I walked straight here, and I feel like it took me fifty years.”

“Right? What are you here for?”

Raldr hesitated, not wanting to admit that he was there following a vision. “I’m not sure. Vague augury, I guess.”

“I’m here for the dragon,” Stayan said.

“What dragon?”

“You’ve never heard of the dragon in the library?”

“Never.”

“What rock did you crawl out from?” Stayan asked, and Raldr bristled. “Never mind. They say there is a dragon here. If you can convince the dragon to teach you, then you’ll come away with magic you can’t learn any other way.”

“Like what?” Raldr asked.

“Like flying, for one. Like our guide here.”

Raldr realized then that he had been distracted from the tour by the conversation. He looked for the guide and found him pointing to a sign over a door that said “Tamlin Root and Other Ecstasies.” Beyond the door was a greenhouse with its glass walls nearly covered in vines. He wasn’t missing much, he decided. His Uncle Reed grew better Tam’ than anyone.

“I assumed our guide was using magic carpet shoes,” Raldr said. “That’s the only way I know of to fly without wings.”

“They call them Light Shoes here, but no. Their way of flying is a secret. I think. Maybe, not even Sade knows.”

The thought of learning secret magic from a dragon was tempting, and Raldr almost asked if he could come with his new friend on his dragon hunt but the eyes in his dreams called him, and he said nothing.

The tunnel dipped in what Raldr and Stayan judged to be a generally downward direction and, for once, Sade Hall seemed to agree with them as the hall got darker and cooler as they walked. The subjects they passed got darker, too, and seemed increasingly to interest the demons. A few left the group when they passed the Hall of Night Creatures, which was so long Raldr couldn’t see the end of it. Then a few more peeled off to investigate Florentine Flogging.

“I think I picked the right tour if I’m going to find the way to the dragon,” Stayan said as he pulled an apple out of his pocket and bit into it with a loud crunch.

It had been a very long walk from the garden, and Raldr had only stopped long enough to fang a chef he’d seen smoking on his break outside a tavern in Maloy. Foodies eat well, so the chef was delicious and so into being sucked—or the hand job Raldr gave him while he did it—he had to abandon his shift after Raldr was done with his meal. Raldr could go for a long time on a meal like that, but that encounter was a very long time ago. It’d taken him weeks after that to follow rumors to the cave with the staircase that connected the Garden and Sade Hall. Even as he followed the spiral down in the dark through the roots of the mountains, it was several weeks more before he could be sure that they lead where he intended to the bottom of the sea and the door to Sade Hall. The whole time he was in that cave he saw no one until he found the wood and iron door that said “Sade,” and it was a full day’s walk from the cave to the library.

Raldr almost envied Stayan his apple.

“Are there different tours?” Raldr asked, trying not to think about his empty belly.

“Every tour is different,” Stayan said. “This place is so big, they pretty much pick a direction at random. Some people take a tour every time they come. This is my fifth tour. I think the guides have been on a botany kick. I’ve seen that greenhouse every time. Always makes me hungry just looking at it. Apple?”

Raldr barred his teeth to show his fangs, a common expression in the Garden that meant “I won’t eat food unless I absolutely have to.”

“Lucky you,” Stayan said. “If you go wandering off, you can stay in the library indefinitely. There’s a never-ending supply of ingenuous young Sade scholars, especially down here. Seriously, who learns about flogging by reading about it?”

The tunnel turned up again, and they both instinctually stopped.

“I don’t think a dragon is going to hang out any higher than here,” Stayan said and looked around. “Ah-hah, ‘Runes.’ That’s the first magic I’ve seen on this tour.”

He left the group and went a short way down the hall and picked up a book called “Healing Songs” and flipped through.

“This is in Draconic,” he said. “This must be the way.”

The group started to move away from them and Raldr hesitated. This didn’t look like the library he saw in his dream, but it could turn into it if the tunnel descended again. He peered down the tunnel of runes but couldn’t see the end of it or if it forked.

“What does your vague augury say?” Stayan asked. “Want to come? If you get hungry enough, maybe I’ll let you fang me.”

In his dreams, Ralder had always wandered the stacks alone, but there was no telling how deep in the library he would have to go. Maybe it would be better to have a friend. At least, for awhile.

Raldr jogged to catch up with Stayan who was already walking down the hall of runes.

This area of the library had the dusty vanilla electrical smell of dark magic and old books. It burned Raldr’s nose and made him sneeze.

“May the lust for blood and the fruit of the Tree preserve your health and keep you ever delicious,” Stayan said.

The words of the old Lilim Sneeze Blessing—blessings were always verbose by Lilim standards—made Raldr homesick.

“So, do you speak Draconic?” Raldr asked.

“I didn’t study Draconic in university or anything,” Stayan said “Since then, it’s been kind of hard to avoid.”

“I suppose, if you’re into hunting dragons,” said Raldr.

”Speaking of hunting,” Stayan said. “I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to hunt as a vampire. My people were all foodies.

Raldr bristled. “Hunting” was a common enough term for what he did to get nourishment, but he preferred the word “fanging.” It sounded almost like “fucking,” which was closer to how he thought of what he did to get food than any of the predator-prey metaphors his relatives and neighbors used. It was easy for them to go on about the hunt and forget about “consent” and “ensuring win-win” when they literally took turns drinking each other. For him, it wasn’t so easy.

He had allowed a girl he liked to drink him once, but it felt wrong and made him feel no pleasure, just weak and sick. It took one look from the healer to determine that, while he had received all of the drinking and hunting ability of the vampire when he turned, something about his transition had left him without the gradual buildup of excess blood that made being drained feel pleasurable. After that, he allowed no one, no matter how much he liked them, to drink him. Everyone in his village said they understood, but they always looked at him funny after that, even if hunting-only vampires weren’t entirely unheard of. He invested a great deal of time and energy in learning how to make satisfying his hunger as pleasurable for his partners as possible, but facing the hard fact of his nature, that he needed blood without being able to give any in return, was never easy for him.

Still, it was obvious Stayan’s curiosity was just curiosity.

“I’m not really into hunting,” Raldr said. “At least, I don’t do the stalking element of surprise thing.”

To Raldr’s surprise, Stayan looked disappointed.

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be hunted,” Stayan said, “I’ve always been too much of a wuss to go to the islands.”

Raldr couldn’t blame him. The islands were an oasis for hunters. They had a reputation for the fiercest predation in the Garden. The consent protection was almost all off even though they were miles and miles from the anarchy of the Wilderness, so you had to sign a waiver before you went in there. Raldr had wondered sometimes if that was where he belonged. It seemed to be the place for people like him to go, but he could never bring himself to do it.

His silence while he thought grimly about the islands must have given Stayan the wrong idea because Stayan said finally, “It’s the pain I’m afraid of. Vampires are cool.”

“It doesn’t have to hurt, you know,” Raldr said.

“No?”

“Not at all. If I spend awhile kissing your neck, you’ll—or my partner will feel kind of high. After awhile, my saliva makes their neck pretty numb. If I suck really gently, they aren’t even be able to tell when I stopped kissing and started fanging.”

“That doesn’t sound bad,” Stayan said. “Pretty awesome, really. Hey look! It forks!”

They had reached a place where the tunnel split in two. They had to choose: “Draconic Poetry” or “Deep Word Magic.”

Raldr liked the sound of “Deep Word Magic,” but he knew Stayan would go for the Draconic section. Sure enough, Stayan brightened and walked toward it without thinking, but when Raldr didn’t keep up, he stopped and turned back and frowned at Raldr’s sad look.

“My vague augury says word magic is the way for me,” Raldr said. “You can walk with me for awhile if you want.”

“I would, really, Raldr,” Stayan said, “But I’ve been here five times already, and I’ve only got so many apples.”

Raldr held out his hand to say goodbye, and Stayan grabbed his wrist in the traditional way of the Lilim. Raider took his wrist in return and held it while they repeated together the Blessing Upon Parting for Those Who Travel:

May there be fruit worthy of your hunger

and beauty worthy of your lust

as you wander icy cliff faces or warm seas.

May there always be fixed stars to guide you

and wandering stars to inspire you

and the life that is our light attend your way.

The pulse of Stayan’s blood pounded against Raldr’s palms they said the blessing. He could have handled a quick goodbye, but Stayan’s steady pulse and the time it took to say the blessing was too much. A growl of hunger escaped Raldr’s lips as they finished speaking the blessing together.

“I’m sorry, Stayan,” Raldr said.

“You must be really hungry.”

Ralder nodded but wouldn’t meet Stayan’s eyes. He didn’t want him to think he walked with him because he saw him as a potential meal.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Stayan said. “You can fang me if you can catch me.”

“Sure!” Raldr said with surprise.

“But you have to do that numbing thing.”

“Okay.”

“And I’m going this way,” he called back as he ran toward the Draconic Poetry section.

Without pausing to grieve “Deep Word Magic,” Raldr took off after him.

Raldr sniffed the air. The smell of magic had followed him here, too, to the stacks of poetry. If anything, it had gotten stronger. As he walked, it got stronger still until he could barely smell the fresh sweat of his friend despite his hunger. The books, as he walked, got progressively older, too, until the space itself seemed to believe he was walking back in time. The crystal lights gave way to giant guttering candles that were placed further and further apart the deeper he walked into the library.

He was all need and so he did not notice how he instinctually put out his hands, feeling for body heat every time he reached a place where the tunnels forked. He didn’t even notice enough to be grateful that the tunnels branched like a tree, making it easy to find his way back, even though he had never been so far from home or the abundance of the Tree and his mother’s house.

His friend was tiring. Though he would not own them consciously, Ralder had the instincts and endurance of a hunter. He paced himself, trusting his senses to guide him if he lagged far behind. Stayan had no such instincts and sprinted as fast as he could and, when he tired of that, ran fast for the joy of running rather than any great strategy.

Stayan wanted to be caught. He had always wanted to be caught.

It was true. He had been chased many times by those chasing rumors and power, and they had traded with him—those who had something suitably precious to offer—but he had never encountered someone like this, someone who, he would later learn, caught the smoke of his desire for a hunter in the web of dream and followed it with the longing for that musty bookish darkness and his looming presence. He had seen this desire in Raldr’s eyes when he first asked what brought him to the library, and he knew it was a true longing that would drive a country Lilim away from the fresh Tamlin root and across the Garden and halfway across Sade Hall.

He was tiring and knew he would soon get clumsy, so he slowed and listened. Raldr was coming up fast. If he ducked into a fork in the hall, there would be just enough time to change.

Eventually, it got so dark, Raldr was forced to slow and feel for obstacles with his feet. If he could have seen himself, he would have been amused to find that in the darkness he really didn’t know which way was up or down, and he walked in a spiral while he thought he walked in a straight line.

He lost the heat trail and scent of his friend, but still he walked forward, too invested now in the hunt to stop. Then he heard the gruff pant of exhausted breathing and sniffed. The smell was wrong: lust, anticipation. Lovers, maybe, in the dark. Then he saw in front of him the yellow eyes from his dream, glowing in the candlelight. His nostrils filled with smoke and the scent of desire.

“Drink, Raldr.”

Hunger and instinct took over. Before he could think, Raldr sprang at the glowing eyes. Like a predator, he went for the neck instinctually, pulling them both to the floor. Only when his mouth was full of blood did his consciousness reel back and consider what he was doing: The voice was Stayan’s, but the blood he drank definitely wasn’t human. The skin against his lips was smooth and cold.

He pulled back and looked into the eyes of his friend and saw the cat-like pupils of a dragon.

Mara Colleen Banks thinks that author bios are usually pretentious and off-putting, but her student loans compel her to mention that she has an MFA in fiction whenever possible.

When she isn’t writing stories about naive vampires and Viking detectives, her current obsessions are: Growing the world’s most delicious sleepy-time herbal tea blend, asking her Tarot cards when the sun will come out in Portland, Oregon, and visiting every river in the Pacific Northwest.

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS AND CLAPS REVIEWS - PROGRESS WRESTLING CHAPTER 76 'HELLO WEMBLEY'!

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Graps and Claps this time taking on a trip to the biggest show of the English wrestling scene as Progress Wrestling took to Wembley for Chapter 76 'Hello Wembley' in front of a crowd of 4750 at Wembley Arena.

Now yours truly might have not been fortunate enough to grab one of the press passes on offer, but I was certainly there fulfilling my duties as your correspondent for what was sure to be a pinnacle point in the promotions history.

Travelling down from Wolverhampton in the morning after two nights of Fight Club Pro (this will be reviewed later this week once I get home), I arrived at Wembley for 2 pm after a two hour trip to the capital filled up with the lukewarm 'Spoons brekkie and a can of gin and tonic to keep me going till I reached London.

After a 15 minute walk to Baker Street, where our group did our best impression of a 10,000 metre walk with everyone chopping and changing positions whilst walking down the street, we took the tube to Wembley Park which coincidentally located right next to my hotel (Premier Inn) that turned out to be the best £51 I had spent all weekend due to the over running of the Main Event, but more on that later folks.

Walking up Wembley way for the first time in my life, I had done a previous trip to the stadium but that was for Rochdale's defeat in the 2008 playoff by Stockport, that time the coach dropped us off round the back of the ground so on the occasion I didn't get the chance to make that fabled walk.

Once in the venue, which was a fairly speedy process we were greeted with the sight of merchandise in front of us with a £5 markup on t-shirts for this show which was expected. Before taking my seat the first of probably 5/6 pints of Heineken was had at a wallet busting £6.50 a pint but is to be expected nowadays at Arena shows.

On first look in the arena itself, the setup was much better than the big ICW Hydro shows which if you were in the tiered seating there you did feel as part of the atmosphere from what seemed miles away. This setup though was much more intimate and the chance for noise to stay compact in a big arena made it a much better event.

Starting at 330pm we began with a pre-show battle royal with some of the lesser lights of the Progress roster and also some returning faces including Stixx, R.J Singh and Warehouse Manager of the Decade - Mad Man Manson who as I have stated before in this blog was the main reason I even started going watching PCW which broke me into the ever lasting journey of seeing britwres.

Early stuff in this match included a few spots with Inflatable Lykos annoying T.K Cooper to the point of T.K losing it and chucking the inflatable one into the 4th row. T.K as well before this conquered the feat of dumping out my boy Big T, which you think sometimes in rumbles it takes at least 8 people to dump out the biggun.

We had a staredown between R.J and Stixx which was a call back to there feud back in the day at Chapter 15 I think it was, but for me it did seem lost on a number of the audience.

As we got to the final 4 of Ridgeway, Trivet, T.K and Chuck Mambo the odds of a 'Escaping the Midcard' Youtube star winning was long odds-on as Ridgeway was dumped over the top rope. Leaving T.K to slug it out with Mambo on the ring apron, it has to be said Mambo found many ways of escaping not getting chucked out.

Spike looked to knock both off the rope and missed, then Mambo I think head-scissored TK who took a bit of a nasty fall on the apron to take him out, leaving it down to Mambo to finally throw out Trivet for his 3rd win in multi-man action after winning two scrambles in Wolverhampton.

The main show started at 4pm with U.K band WARS playing some RAAAARRRR RAAARRRR RAAAARRRGG music to accompany the into to the show instead of the usual 'Started from the bottom' by Drake. Resident compere and all round good egg Jim Smallman then came out to do his usual routine but with extra expletives - my gosh there was more 'fucking' in this than what you see on Channel 945.

With that out of the way we got started on the main card with newly signed NXT Wrestler Matt Riddle taking on Mark Haskins, with the latter earning this match after his losing defeat against Tyler Bate at the last show. I do have to say Riddle's new entrance theme is a good toe tapper which was rare on this evening with some utter bilge in the music department - but this has been covered ad-nauseum so I digress.

A slow opening to this one with an early feeling out process, Haskins did manage to fell Riddle as he kicked his leg from under him, whilst also hitting his customary bounce back dive to Riddle on the floor. Back atop of the ring Haskins hit a huge superplex from the top rope for a two count, Riddle though managed to get back up to hit a knee to Haskins chin and following up with a jumping brostone for a 2 count.

With Riddle looking like he was on his way to victory, he was caught unawares by a destroyer from Haskins which was followed up by a double stomp to the sternum, with Riddle wounded, Haskins locked in the arm submission for which Riddle tried to reverse but he was then hit with the Made in Japan from Haskins for the victory - really good opener that built very well along the way.

Quick pee break and a pint, but whilst standing at the bar I heard the announcement that the next match would be for the Women's Championship which I had predicted earlier in the day to be in its customary 2nd on the card spot which seems to have become a recurring thing for the women which is a shame.

Anyways we had the Champion Jinny defending her title against long time rival Toni Storm and young up and comer Millie Mckenzie. Millie it is to be noted hasn't half put muscle mass on and certainly looks the part even at this stage of her career - the Travis Banks Fitness Regime has done wonders for Millie and Kyle Fletcher.

At ringside we had the presence of the House of Couture who it was certain would get imvolved at some moment, Nina Samuels it has to be said - could crack walnuts with her pins just wow!!

Enough of my gawping, this lasted just under 10 minutes and maybe the shortest match of the night. Early part of the match was all 3 competitors using throws and suplexes to each other with Millie especially coming off best in these exchanges folding up Jinny like an accordion.

On the ring apron though Millie got taken out with a strong zero from Storm, meaning that she was out of the running to win the title. Storm looked to finish off Jinny, but the house of couture got involved on the ring ropes only to be confronted by Storm's mates - Candyfloss and Laura Di Matteo. This is where things took a turn for the worse for Storm as LDM turned on Candyfloss and then on Toni leaving her laying for Jinny to come in and pick up the pieces to retain the Women's Championship.

With LDM posing in the ring with her new cohorts they were then interrupted by Jordynne Grace who entered the ring to a good ovation and steam rollered through The House of Couture to send them packing off to the back.

So it looks like we have a new challenger to the Women's title instead of the usual Toni vs Jinny scenario which has been played put enough now, the heel turn of LDM I guess was needed as her face run fell quite flat given that her feud with Jinny was a hot thing at the time, the part of getting back with Jinny I do find a bit baffling after all the belittling that Jinny did to her in the past - but as ever we shall see.

Next up it was Atlas Title time with Doug Williams defending his title and his career up against Trent Seven, this for some people was the first leg of the Skybet Boost Treble of British Strong Style to win all there respective matches on the card.

Very technical start to this match with both chaps going hold for hold, with Doug showing that he still has moves in his locker even at this late stage of his career. One part that would fit into the latter part of the match, wouldn't come off in the early part as Trent missed a crossbody to Doug instead landing flat on his face.

Doug hit a Chaos Theory to Trent for a 2 count, but not before Trent picked up Soug for an impressive burning hammer (we would see this move on a number of occasions on this evening) for a two count. With Trent in control he hit a back hand fist to Doug's Temple, whilst also trying to put him away with a lariat but Doug was having none of it as he followed up with a Powerbomb while Trent was on the top rope and then a piledriver to get the nearest of near falls.

At a vertical base though, doug looked to finish off Trent but was caught out of nowhere by Trent who hit for the first time ever - a running crossbody for the victory to capture the Progress Atlas Title and to send Doug Williams on his way into retirement for good. There was a nice touch at the end with the locker room filing out to greet Doug, bit of a shame a Jonny Storm, Jody Fleisch or Alex Shane wasn't there for that moment given all there history in the FWA. For me, a good match to watch and a good way for Doug to bow out - Thumbs up from me 👍👍

Your Half Time Main Event now with Jimmy Havoc taking that little rotter Paul Robinson in a No DQ Grudge match that was sure to involve lots of blood and violence very much akin to there first battle. The usual white canvas was changed to a clear blue mat for this one as it must have more blood resistant but who knows.

Robinson did get revenge of his own cutting open Jimmy on the outside, back in the ring and once the light tubes got introduced this is where this match took off as Robinson double stomped two light tubes on Havoc's chest to cut him open add in the fact that he had also stapled a t-shirt to Havoc which Jimmy had ripped away.

With Robbo making friends ringside, Jimmy Havoc as a pale white ghost of death made his way to ringside area to start this bloody brawl. One of the first big shots of this match was a whack around the chops from Havoc to Robinson with a frying pan which split open Robinson's head.

Havoc did have a short comeback where he also broke light tubes over Robbo's back and face. Not long after with the finish in sight Havoc managed to hit a footstomp through the light tubes to Robinson and then followed up with the Acid Rainmaker to end a violent war - Robinson you could see visibly that his back was shredded up.

As said this was a violent match but maybe not as good as their first battle just due to the spontinaity of it all back then when both were baddies at the time - still watchable stuff though.

As the clean up operation went on for longer than expected, the break lasted around 30/40 minutes but in that time I met up with the lesser seen on Twitter now - Joe Lemon who it was great see and chat to as he made a last minute decision to attend the evening's action so with him on his own he came and sat with O's for his ears to be deafened by my clapping.

Back from break and a piss in the cramped men's bogs, we returned with the complicated but certain to be fun - 'The Silly Bastard' FKA Thunderbastard Tag Team Gauntlet for the Progress Tag Team Titles. Starting is off we had the team and your current Champions Flamita and Bandido going up against perennial loser in tag team contests - Jack Sexsmith and David Starr.

Along the way they were joined by Mills & Mayhew, The Anti-Fun Police, Aussie Open, Grizzled Young Veterans, CTK and the surprising sight of a bus service running on a Sunday Afternoon with the 198 in operation.

I won't go through all of the eliminations (check @gadget80 on twitter), but it has to be said that the early portion of this match was very much the Anti-Fun Police show and especially Federales Jr. who was hitting dives to the outside and even speaking mexican with his hombres Flamita and Bandido until he was flattened by both of them, it showed how much the fun police shone by the groan once they were eliminated.

One thing to watch back is the dive sequence that everyone did including a huge Spanish Fly bodyslam by Bandido - this was something else folks!

Final 3 we got down to in this match were The 198 (Morgan Webster and Wild Boar), The Grizzled Young Veterans and Aussie Open so you can guess from that line up who the crowd wanted to take home the belts. First to go out of these 3 was the 198 when Davis and Fletcher hit the Fidget Spinner to send them packing back on their bus, with the end in sight though it did look like the GYV were going to win with Mark Davis being sent packing to the outside by both Drake and Gibson.

Sadly though a bit of miscommunication between the Vets lead to Gibson being sent to the outside and Aussie Open hitting a Super Fidget Spinner to James Drake to capture the Progress Wrestling Tag Team Titles in just over 30 minutes.

In closing this exceeded the low expectations of the match before the show which we all know was a series that was too complicated to follow for those who were arsed, but a really fun watch for my liking and it will be great to see Aussie Open have a long run with the belts as they are one of the best teams on the circuit.

Next up and with the time getting periously close to 730pm with 3 matches to go we had up next the battle of 2 of Europe's best with Pete Dunne (Part 2 of the treble) taking on Ilja Dragunov in a hotly anticipated contest. What wasn't hotly anticipated was listening to Ilja's entrance theme which didn't half sound like a knock off of Umaga's theme from back in the day - this was certainly no Command & Conquer Red Alert.

In the run up to this match, Dunne has been hampered by a foot injury since last weekend where he beat Ashton Smith at Futureshock, this injury also struck him from wrestling action at Fight Club Pro give or take a run in on the first night which wasn't too strenuos.

Early part of this contest was Pete dominating Ilja twisting and turning his joints whilst also striking him with sheer precision forearms. On the outside of the ring though Ilja did manage to hit a suplex to the floor outside which must have creased an already injured Bruiserweight.

For the rest of the duration of this 18 minute match it was a back and forth contest with Ilja kicking out of a bitter end and an amazing bitter end tombstone that was so fluid to see in person. CMJ (Ilja's boss in WXW) got involved though by clocking Dunne with the UK Title belt but Dunne somehow managed to kick out at two much to the relief of Dunne's followers.

With Ilja looking primed for victory he did hit a torpedo moscow once which only just dazed Pete for a solitary moment, as Ilja went for another he was caught with a reversal from Dunne who not long after this locked in a Finger Snap arm submission to Ilja who tapped out to end a decent match in the end but for me and few other people it did feel strange to see Ilja lose straight away but one of the problems to this match was to neutrals who don't WXW they didn't have reason to believe Ilja was a threat to the Bruiserweight.

Maybe if they had given Ilja a match or two beforehand say by beating up a Roy Johnson or a Pastor Eaver you would make him look more of a killer, but that is just one minor gripe that I took away from what was a good match.

Creeping past 815pm and with people from the North West clock watching for if they were going to get there last trains home, we followed up with the end to a 1 year feud between Mark Andrews and Eddie Dennis which has been one of the shining lights from a booking and storyline standpoint in the last year and a lot of the credit has to go to Eddie who has been fantastic in his role.

It does have to be said though, that despite this the feud in the last month did lose a bit of steam but it was still one we were looking forward to. Fought under TLC rules and with a title shot at stake - lets get down to business.

Now it has been racking my head of how I should review this match as at the time of last night whilst watching, this felt like complete over booked bollocks at times as a live feeling when it could have been so much else without the stipulation. The story out of this match will certainly be the failure of the tables which massively hindered Eddie and Mark who despite their hard earned efforts it totally took away from the match. I mean one table it took 3 attempts to break without success, it was almost sad to see.

When both were fighting on top of the ladder both trying to catch the contract, Eddie knocked Mark on to a ladder below busting his shoulder open to leave a bloody mark, instead of grabbing the contract and ending the match, Eddie instead climbed down and this is where we had more table sillyness with Andrews jumping on to Eddie below from the top of a ladder, but instead of breaking on impact Eddie just slid off the ultra Ronseal varnish of the table.

Thankfully though when we reached the end of the match Eddie and Mark went a top of the ladder where Eddie finally finished off Andrews with a Next Stop Driver through a table off the ladder, leaving Eddie to climb back up and capture a No.1 contenders opportunity at any time of his choosing in the future, for Mark its back to playing his guitar with wounds to show for this match.

In closing with this, it certainly wasn't Eddie and Mark's fault but it all just felt a bit like TNA/WCW back in the day when matches would have too much in it just for reasons/non reasons. If this had the Jimmy/Robbo stipulation this could have been off the scales in my opinion - but sorry guys and gals this was a thumbs down.

So here we go with the time coming past 840pm and the North West contingent running home for their trains, we bring you the Main Event of the evening with Tyler Bate challenging the mighty Progress Champion who came out to some fancy violin music to send him down the entrance for what was to be a fantastic contest.

In the build up to this match, I have felt Tyler hasn't come across as relatable as a person to ordinary joe public, instead coming across as one of them weekend tossbags in yates's who you want to see get his block knocked off the dad like qualities of Walter.

This match though showed Walter in a great light of getting someone to feel sympathy for somebody in this case Bate who in his defence played the underdog role superbly when he was getting hit with some brutal clotheslines from Walter that sent his soul of into the Wembley orbit. Tyler to his credit showed off great strength when back suplexing Walter and also on two occasions he hit two massive airplane spins which were magical to watch.

To see both wrestlers also having seconds in there corner urging encouragement and in no way looking to interfere added legitimacy to it very much like Devlin vs Walter in OTT.

As we got to the end of this match Tyler hit a Tyler Driver 97 to Walter to come within a whisker of defeating Walter but it wasn't to be with Walter smothering Tyler with a sleeper that as well he managed to lift Walter up only for Walter to fall back any finally submit Bate with the sleeper to end a breathless 30 minute classic that could for me be UK Match of the Year at the end of the year.

So with the clock hitting 915pm, 45 minute past the proposed finishing time, that was it and for me a great success for Progress who managed to pull off a very good show probably a 7/10 show but still a great achievement and spectacle to watch British Wrestling. We had the announcement of Super Strong Style taking place on the 4th - 6th May next year at Ally Pally but nothing about a Wembley return but I do expect them to run this venue once again and so they should.

Show done, we met up with Grappl creator Gareth and his missus as we went to the JJ Moon Wetherspoons which was a 20 minute walk from the Stadium. It was nice to see a few of the others who I didn't see during the day including a customary hug from Taff.

With the pub calling for last orders we made our way back to the Premier Inn, to be met with the sight of Mark Haskins following us in the lift - lovely bloke as well!!

With that said I hope you have enjoyed reading once again. Any feedback, Likes, Retweets are welcome as ever and I will see you next time with reviews of Fight Club Pro's Project Mayhem two shows.

#grapsandclaps

@oggypart3

[lafotka]

OFFICE IN MY BEDROOM

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THE FEELINGS

They say you should work where you sleep but since I’ve created my own little home office in a corner of our bedroom, I’d argue against that statement. It’s about the feelings that work gives you and having inspiring, comfortable and beautiful surroundings would never disturb anyone’s sleep. Agree? I actually love waking up and seeing my work space just the way I like it all ready for me whenever I need to use it. I keep it tidy (ish) without “post it” notes or any other urgent neon reminders – only the things I love stay on that desk as everything is on my laptop is already in dedicated folders and lists where all the work stuff belongs. It’s also important that my desk is child friendly and can be used for leisurely browsing or online shopping at weekends. Nothing alarming, uncomfortable, stressful or unpleasant will be found in that bedroom (or anywhere in our flat now) as there’s enough of that in the world right?

MAKING THE BEST OF THE SPACE

I’ve been working from home (sometimes in cafes) for the last 3 years now and have used many rooms, desks, tables, beds and even floors of the flat, but nothing felt right until we redecorated the flat completely a couple of months ago. Decluttered, got rid of old furniture, painted our walls black and white in some rooms and it’s so refreshing now… Naturally, our bedroom appeared even bigger and a little corner for my home office was created – a space dedicated only to me and it’s the best thing we’ve done. No more “hot desking” between the dining room table or my daughter’s desk, but it’s also nice when she uses my desk now for homework or drawing.

BEDROOM

Our bedroom is probably the biggest room in our flat after the living room. It’s definitely not just for sleeping and working in as our entire family often hangs out there playing with Sasha, reading books, watching movies or having breakfast in bed at weekends. I’ve been looking for something inspiring and unusual to hang above the bed and fell in love with this “Dream Big Canvas” from Next. Some think it’s marble effect while others think that the circle is the Moon or Universe. I like to see all three in that canvas and love having it above our bed.

MAKE IT WORK AND ENJOY

Of course, a lot depends on tastes and preferences as well as space availability of course. We are currently quite limited in terms of dedicated office space area in our flat, so creating a little office in our bedroom was the best option. I fell in love with our flat all over again. All of my favourite things are all around me while I work including my clothes, beauty products and even an empty clothes rack where I put my outfits together in prep for collaborations with brands before shooting. To utilise the space and make the room look even bigger, we hanged a large mirror on a cupboard door beside the window and it’s just perfect. The room had never served us so well.

If you’re thinking of creating an office space within your bedroom, remember to surround yourself with only the things you love like pictures, inspiring quotes, candles (love my luxury concrete candle from Next), flowers and anything else you love seeing every day. Things like drinking water, coffee or mint tea from pretty cups and glasses can make such a difference. I realise that all of those things can be considered material, it’s similar to updating your wardrobe. I’m a very visual person so pretty things around me are like food for my soul and that’s the beauty of working for myself – I’m free to surround myself with whatever I want wherever I want.

PS! Who likes the picture in the grey frame behind the copper table light? Sasha’s chalk art from when she was three and it’s so special having it hang there in front of me.

Do you work from home? What makes your working space more inspiring?

SHOP MY BEDROOM / OFFICE ACCESSORIES:

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Dream Big Canvas – Next* Charcoal Bed Linen – Next* Palm Leaf Mugs – Next* Metallic Glass Tumblers – Next* The Chilten Concrete Candle – Next* Plant – Next* Throw – TK Maxx (or this) Side Table – Maisons Du Monde Picture Frames – Maisons Du Monde Copper Shelf – Maisons Du Monde Copper Wire Storage Trays – MADE.com* Copper Desk Light – TK Maxx (or this) Basket Bag – ZARA

Special thanks to Next for supporting this post.

The post OFFICE IN MY BEDROOM appeared first on LAFOTKA.

from OFFICE IN MY BEDROOM

[morganaspendragonss]

Bad Things Happen Bingo Masterpost!

And that's a wrap on my @badthingshappenbingo card! Thanks to anybody and everybody who requested a square - this has been so, so fun! I've had this card for years and have been actively working on it for a year and a half, so it's incredible to have finally finished it 🥰

Prompts and Fills listed below the cut:

Used in Sacrifice/Ritual - Filled

you would be the one to rescue me | BBC Atlantis | Jason x Pythagoras

When Jason wakes, Pythagoras is gone.

This in itself is not so strange. What is strange, however, is that his cloak has been left behind despite there being a significant chill in the air. And when Hercules begins to wake, and there is still no sign, Jason knows.

Something's wrong.

Rage Against the Reflection - Filled

out, damned spot | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

TK wakes up gasping, choking on air. The sheets are suffocating him and, when he tries to free himself, they only seem to get tighter. The hands reaching out for him, trying to calm him, are the final straw; TK throws himself from bed and sprints to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him as he collapses against the sink.

On some level, he is aware that the hands were Carlos’s, that the sheets were theirs, that his hands are clean, and that the dream was just a dream.

But they weren't always that way.

Falling Through the Ice - Filled

ice in my veins | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

Carlos only turns away for a second, he swears. Unfortunately, a second is clearly ample time for his boyfriend to get into trouble because when Carlos turns back around, TK is no longer standing where he left him.

Instead, there’s a sizable hole in the ice.

Flashbacks - Filled

start again from the beginning | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK & Owen

Owen trusts his son. He’s watched TK fight his addiction and stay sober for the last six years, and he has faith that he can handle himself.

But when TK doesn’t show up for work the night after proposing to Alex, Owen knows that something is wrong. After all, they've been here before.

Branding - Filled

setting fire to our insides for fun | Supernatural | Meg x Cas

Cas had been prepared to find demons. Frankly, he would have been concerned if he didn’t find demons, given that that was his mission here. What he hadn’t been prepared for, however, was to find two demons torturing another, pressing the hot end of a branding iron into her forearm.

He killed the two torturers with practised ease, barely wasting a moment before they were both on the dirty, wooden floor, eyes burned out their sockets. Only then did he allow his surprise to catch up to him, breathing heavily as his gaze settled on someone he hadn’t seen in a long time.

Meg.

Memory Loss - Filled

focal point | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

Waking up in the hospital is becoming all too familiar. Being the one in the bed is less so, but Carlos has had his fair share of hospital trips. He knows the drill.

As soon as he sees him awake, TK breaks out in harsh sobs. "Carlos," he breathes. "I... I thought I'd lost you."

Caught in an Explosion - Filled

can we skip past near death cliches? | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

It’s the kind of call every first responder dreads. A bomb threat in an apartment block, civilian’s lives on the line, the whole situation a hair’s breadth away from disaster. And Carlos is right in the middle of it.

tw: explosions, bombs

Forced to Kneel/Bow - Filled

in case you don’t live forever (let me tell you now) | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

His teammates were still sitting in the communal area when TK entered, eyes glued to the tv screen. Paul was the first to notice him, and TK’s concern only grew as he got everyone else’s attention, their worried gazes falling on him one by one.

“There’s a hostage situation at that big, fancy hotel across town," Marjan explained. "Apparently it’s pretty serious, they’ve had to send police in, and, um, well…”

Marjan paused, and TK felt dread wash through him, knowing what her next words would be.

“Carlos is there, TK. He’s gone in.”

tw: references to gun violence

Be Careful What You Wish For - Filled

can you beat back the night? | The Witcher | Geralt x Jaskier

He misses the bard. Geralt won’t admit it, not even to Roach, but he misses him. After months—years—of Jaskier’s constant chatter and the sound of his lute, the silence, once valued above all else, is too much.

It’s been months since the dragon, since Geralt lost both Yennefer and Jaskier in one fell swoop. He’s cursed himself many times over for the words he said—to both of them—and cursed himself more for the mistakes he made to get in this position in the first place.

*

this is the lot of witchers, to be alone.

Blood From the Mouth - Filled

I Got You | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos, TK & 126 Crew

“I’m just sayin’,” Judd says, waving his arms around. “Somebody’s gonna get themselves killed in there one of these days. I had to come out here three times last year because of some idiots who think they know better than the ‘Keep Out’ signs.”

The team are called to an abandoned house where some kids are trapped. Everything is going smoothly, which, naturally, means that it won't be that way for much longer.

Trapped in a Burning Building - Filled

a little unsteady | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

9-1-1, What's your emergency?

'Please, help! My house is on fire and my husband’s inside!'

or

t.k. sometimes wonders if the universe is out to get him

Worked Themselves to Exhaustion - Filled

In Your Arms | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos, Michelle & TK

T.K. and Carlos agreed when they started dating to check-in on each other that they were both okay. Reassurance that nothing bad had happened. So, when Carlos hasn't replied hours after his shift is supposed to have finished, T.K.'s definitely beginning to panic. 

Locked in a Cage - Filled

running out of time | Shadowhunter Chronicles | Kit x Ty

When (if) they got out of here, Kit wanted the record to unequivocally state that this wasn’t his fault. Not that it was Ty's either, but it certainly wasn't Kit's.

or

kit and ty's first hunt together after three years goes wrong and they wind up trapped in a cage with no way out. naturally, this leads to a heartfelt conversation.

Demonic/Ghostly Possession - Filled

Haunting | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos, TK & Owen

T.K. is five when he first sees a ghost, though, of course, he doesn’t know that it’s a ghost. His name is Joey, and he lives in the playground, which T.K. thought was a little strange, but he doesn’t want to ask. Dad says it’s rude to ask questions like that to someone he’s just met.

Fingore - Filled

ease my mind | 911: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

Briefly, Carlos considers calling TK and telling him about the accident. But… He only broke two of his fingers and it barely even classifies as a minor injury in his book, so there’s really no reason to bother his fiancé while he’s still on shift himself. He pockets his phone then looks around to figure out where the exit is.

Only, an all-too familiar laugh distracts him from his task, drawing his attention to the nurses station.

Where TK is standing, smiling as a nurse swats at him for stealing one of their lollipops.

Carlos is, beyond doubt, fucked.

Verbal Abuse - Filled

this is a song about somebody else | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos, TK & Marjan

TK doesn't notice the 126's latest visitor until it's too late. He freezes as Alex smiles at him, knocked off balance by this sudden intrusion of his old life into his new one.

or

alex vists tk at the 126. luckily, tk has his family to help him through it.

tw: abusive language

Dying in Their Arms - Filled

can you hear me screaming (please don’t leave me) | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

As a cop, Carlos has to deal with all kinds of cases, and not all of them end well. But never in his life did he imagine that he'd have to respond to an incident involving his own boyfriend.

tw: major character death

Blindfolded - Filled

find you here inside the dark | Doctor Who | Thirteen x Yaz

Yaz has walked this room too many times to count now; she’s traced her fingertips over the walls, searching for any cracks or crevices to indicate where there might be a door.

If the Doctor were here, she’d have her sonic out by now, spitting out words, only half of which Yaz could understand. She’d find a way out in no time. Or, if not, at least she’d be here. Talking a mile a minute, probably annoying the hell out of their captors. Yaz can almost hear her now—

Wait.

She can hear her now.

Water Torture - Filled

soggy clothes and breezeblocks | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

Carlos wakes up slowly. He cracks his eyes open, wincing at the pounding in his head. He lifts his hand to massage the pain away, only to discover that his hand won't move, the cool metal of handcuffs biting viciously into his wrist.

After an undercover mission goes wrong, Carlos is forced to fight for his life. And to make matters worse, his kidnappers are making sure that T.K. is watching the entire thing.

tw: torture

Fighting from the Inside - Filled

and curse the gods | BBC Atlantis | Jason & Medusa

Jason knows what it is to be cursed.

Slammed into a Wall - Filled

mind over matter (matter over mind) | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos, TK & Owen

After a night out goes wrong, TK and Carlos are left to deal with the consequences.

tw: homophobia, hate crimes, hiding an injury

Suicide Attempt - Filled

be done with this now | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

Once upon a time, Carlos had thought that watching as his almost-boyfriend was whisked off in an ambulance, bullet wound in his chest, would be the worst moment of his life. Then TK had been kidnapped, and Carlos had spent hours not knowing where he was, if he was alive or dead, and he thought - this is it. Nothing can top this.

But, having to perform CPR on his husband, having to hold him as he slipped away in his arms?

That was worse than even his nightmares.

tw: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, depression, drug abuse, overdosing

Bleeding Through the Bandages - Filled

pull you in to feel your heartbeat | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

The call comes at the tail end of Carlos’s shift, and he instantly hates whichever idiot decided to ruin his night by mugging someone.

What he's not expecting is to find his boyfriend on the ground, bleeding out from a stab wound.

Arm in a Sling - Filled

have you been involved in an accident at work? | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK & 126 Crew, TK x Carlos

T.K. was on his way to the hospital. Again.

At least this time he could say with absolute certainty that it 100% wasn't his fault.

Self-Harm - Filled

but god i wanna feel again | 9-1-1: Lone Star | TK x Carlos

Carlos blames himself for not noticing. It's not like he had much choice in the matter; he hasn't seen T.K. all week, and his texts have been going unanswered, but he can't help but feel like it's partly his fault.

If only T.K. would actually talk about himself, instead of keeping it all in.

tw: self-harm