#I LOVE U HIGH ROLLER I WANT U FOREVER AND EVER...

[surveysonfleek]

1661.

How much did your senior prom dress cost you? it was $350 which to me was so expensive! my mum bought it for me as a graduation gift though. later i heard some girls had $800+ dresses, so ridiculous

What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? i cant think of any rght now but im sure theres some

Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? yes

Did you ever take your dog to school? no, that wouldve been awesome though!

If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her? hahaha no idea. prob something i wouldve regretted now

If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her? ive saved my girl name, idk about a boy name yet although i kinda love unisex names too

Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? nope

Do you get motion sickness? not often but i have

Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what? no lol

What is the most boring church you have ever attended? all of them, lets be real

What is the most lively church you have ever attended? a neighbour asked me to tag along to her church as a ‘youth’ thing back in high school to which i agreed to. everyone was super friendly, they played live music a lot etc, after i went there for a couple of months they had some big event one night and they were like, do whatever u feel etc. much to my surprise people started fucking fainting and speaking in tongues... i noped the fuck out of there and sat in the bathroom fucking scared out of my wits. i never went back

Do you find church fun or boring? boring

What do you hate the most about summer? the heat obviously

Which part of your body is the most muscular? my calves i thinking hahaha

Did you ever take Latin in school? no

Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? christmas

What is your favorite Japanese name? miyako

Have you ever ran a cash register? yes

Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger? i never had a bratz doll tbh. i was team barbie all the way

Do you think your mom is attractive? she was definitely more beautiful than i ever was when she was my age!

What was the last thing that disappointed you? ugh idk

Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? i love and hate it at the same time

Skeletons or scarecrows? scarecrows

Do you own pumpkin earrings? no

What computer game did you used to play all the time? the sims

When was the last time you read a book? like a month ago but i didnt finish it

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) it really depends on the situation. do i know this kid, what would they be doing, where are they hanging etc

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? hmmm. this all you can eat sushi resto i think

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? tiktok

What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? paint by numbers. i attempted a few during lockdown and they never looked good and took forever to do

Do you watch political shows? nah, rarely

Do you play any fantasy/roleplaying games? What? no

Do you like salami? i dont mind mild salami but would still prefer ham, proscuitto, serano, coppa etc

When was the last time you ate meat? tonight

What was the last hot drink you drank? chai latte

Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes? yes

How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them? yes

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages? hmm yes!

Do you find the sound of a cat’s purr relaxing? haha no, i dont like cats

Do you know your mum’s first pet’s name? i dont think she ever had a pet that was only hers, a lot of her siblings had pets instead

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, for what? not really, that used to be my lifelong dream as a kid and im kinda glad it never went ahead haha

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back? nah

What fruit can’t you stand? anything sour. most berries, kiwi etc

Do you know anyone autistic? yea

How about someone bipolar? hm idts, not fully diagnosed anyway

What do you consider private to you? my health

Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: im drawing a blank rn but im sure theres someone

Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: idk :(

Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: spending money bahaha

Name somebody who has tried to help you and ended up hurting you: i cant think of anyone

Name a date that has a lot of significance to you: 7 sept

Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise: idk

Name something that you’ve done that would be considered rebellious: sold school raffle tickets and kept the money for myself

Name something you wish you had enough money to do: buy a new car or plan my dream wedding without money being an issue

[juhihuji]

do u have any random facts or things about Depth of heaven and ur characters (sfw or nsfw 🤭) even if what you want never comes to light, I really enjoy reading the concepts and asks about ur OCs

Hehehe I haven't thought about the characters and their story in a long time, until recently...but I never put a huge amount of thought into them before either! I kinda just knew I...wished I could make something cool that had everything I wanted in that kind of game lmao. Even if it doesn't happen, I felt like I wanted there to be twists and secrets...if it never happens then nobody but me will ever know about them, huh! But, if it does happen then I'll spoil stuff for later! What to do...ah I'll share about it! But I'm giving it a spoiler warning for something that doesn't exist anyway lmao Also I'm not a writer or a scientist this is all wacky world rules ok xd also there might be inconsistencies idk I never wrote anything down I'll tell u their heights! June: 5'4 Puzzle: 6'3 Koa: 5'6 Adam: 6'1 Keizo: 6'7 Lloyd: 5'11 Static: 6' Cyril: 5'9 Holly: 5'7

In high school June and Puzzle were da weeaboos who listened to vocaloid on their phones at lunch. Puzzle wore cat ears, big headphones, and tutus to school. I think....I decided that because of her old bad design lmao. I thought I had a drawing of her in cat ears but I can't find it 😔 June prolly just wore hoodies and graphic t-shirts. They were each others prom dates! June wore a tux! Okay spoilery stuff ahead!

I have a general idea what I want the story to be, but right now I just see it as disjointed scenes in my head. I posted some June and Puzzle wearing dresses where I wanted a scene to happen in a casino on the ship. Cruise ship casinos are kinda lame though lol, but it'll be as big and cool as I want >:•3 and it's an excuse to have everyone in cool formal wear cuz that's always fun! The cult leader calls for a big party on the ship and everyone has to attend! It's also where he culls the herd...because not everyone is worthy of going to heaven...apparently Koa likes playing video games! He's on the top of the leaderboard for one MMO, and during one event the top prize was blueprints for an in-game item: roller skates! It would make for cool merch to put on your wall or something. There was a rumor among the playerbase that the blueprints could make skates that function as they do in the game. Koa won the prints then used them to custom build his own skates (they look kinda generic now but I haven't put a lot of thought into their design lmao). The combination of materials used and construction give them a magical quality that allows him to skate faster than any human could! He's always pushing his limits, and sometimes it gets him in twubble xd Keizo has an issue with bad dreams...at night he replays all the times in his life where people were rude to him or each other, how he needs to keep peace between them, he just really hates assholes! He has nightmares about them treating him badly and there's nothing he can do, because at his height and with his strength he'd come off as the bad guy no matter what! They push and push 'til he's about to snap...then he wakes up! The rage super heats his blood and his skin glows red and steam pours out his ears! His hair is all wacky cuz it holds it's shape on the pillow from all the heat lmao June and the rest of them find out about it when they see steam coming out from under his door at night. Don't wake him up though! If he's still glowing hot he'll sleep walk while in a berserk state. First, it makes him really rude himself lmao. He'll say all the nasty things he won't when he's awake! Second, if he sees someone doin' shit he don't like, they're gettin' these 🤜🤛 In his happy ending you'd see him with his hair flat for the first time wouldn't that be nice :•3 Adam is always doing experiments on himself, kinda just for shits, kinda because he wants to discover something amazing....!.....?!?!??! When he was younger, his sister, who he loved v much, died. He wanted to become a doctor, not because he wanted to find a cure for the thing that killed his sister...because she died in an accident! He wanted to find a way to make people invincible! He's always injecting himself with stuff hoping it'll make him stronger. He likes Keizo as a friend, but to Adam Keizo is a perfect specimen of an indestructable human. Adam's been fascinated with him for a while, but Keizo also just makes for a good subject for testing against! Also, they met when Adam was studying abroad and Keizo came up on a motorbike and attacked the wheels on Adam's scooter. Cute! :•) Keizo used to be a bad boy :•( Other experiments Adam's done: Eyesight like a HAWK Cat ears but for real Jelly bones(?) Longer ween 😳 Lloyd is a stinky tech wiz who likes playing around with AI's and robotics! He has myassive myega brains and he monitors many of the functions of the ship by himself in his server room. When the captain is captured and thrown off the ship, Lloyd uses his know-how and special accesses to make sure the cult doesn't make a mess of everything. He knows about and can see everything that happens on the ship...for fun he likes video games toooo! And plays with Koa! He likes buildin' lil gadgets n tings for fun too! They can come in real handy! nsfw! Stuff past here!!!!!!!!! June, Koa, and Lloyd are all inexperienced!

As a lover, Keizo tries to be gentle...but once he gets into it he can be a bit rough! If you're into it, just enjoy! Or speak up and he'll slow down! Hmmm I was inspired by a scene from the film Crying Freeman (which I haven't actually watched 8•|) of some ppl doin' it in a closet(?)...it's all dark and cramped and humid and their skin is so shiny and glistening it's probably the thing that awoken me to drawing people super sweaty. I just can't help myself 😳 def wanna give Keizo a scene like that. This doodle was inspired by it actually lmao

Adam is patient and gentle! Lots of kisses and verbal reassurance and checking in w/ u. He's aware of his age and he doesn't wanna come off badly so he'll let you do all the pursuing. And June will pursue him hard if she has to! He's also gonna make you beg and ask, just so he's sure sure :•) He loves to sit her up on the examining table n do things wit his mouf n fingers 😳 I'd probably make it an option to call him daddy in certain scenarios...up to u if u choose it find out what happens for urself idk 😳😳😳 or don't

Koa likes to tease you, maybe bully you a lil, but when it comes to intimacy he's a wimp! I just like the idea of making the bully bend to your will, but he likes it. It just feels good to wipe that cocky smile off his face! Step on him! Make him whimper! I know June's a virg too, but Koa is just so easy to tease it makes it feel like second nature. BUT the more time they spend together, the more confident Koa becomes. So! Enjoy havin' him under your thumb while you can cuz it might not last forever! Lloyd tries to stay composed when June starts showing an interest. He's usually alone in his server room, but secretly appreciates her company when she comes by. At first he'll act like he's too busy. He's not used to being around women! As his interest in June grows it becomes harder to hide his feelings! So June notices...and teases him! Cuz it's just so easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYY 😩 Seeing his serious expression crack when you put ur hands in his pants is lots of fun :•3 And he shows you a voice he's never shown anyone else before 🤤 He does his research and with your help he'll learn exactly how to worship u 😌 IF it ever happens there has to b a new game plus where u unlock threesome scenes with Koa/Lloyd and Adam/Keizo :•x That's all 4 now! Sorry I'm fuckin' gross and don't know how to type :•|

[sokkagatekeeper]

🎵 uh jetko :) since u get the vibe im going for w them

send me ♫ + a character/ship and i’ll respond with a song that reminds me of them

no bc i do get the vibe. i rlly do!!!!!

jetko:

diet mountain dew – lana del rey

rear view – zayn

proof under the cut

diet mountain view

take another drag, turn me to ashes

ready for another lie?

says he's gonna teach me just what fast is

say it's gonna be alright

(...)

we both know just what we're here for

saved too many times

maybe i like this roller coaster

maybe it keeps me high

maybe the speed, it brings me closer

i could sparkle up your eye

diet mountain new, baby, new york city (you're no good for me)

can we hit it now, low-down and gritty? (baby, you're no good for me)

do you think we'll be in love forever? (you're no good for me)

do you think we'll be in love? (but, baby, I want you, I want—)

i enjoy the idea of jetko as a way to allow zuko to explore his sexuality in the most messed up way possible which i believe would inform his arc in a very interesting way. the song depicts a relationship that desperately wants to be in true love and comfort but both parties know it's kinda doomed to fail, since all they do is lie to each other and burn, it feels kinda like a roller coaster since all they do is get in trouble together. they go really fast in the relationship and they find a sort of comfort in it. the name of the song also includes the word ‘city’ which is uhh relevant, ba sing se blues if you get my vibe. they're no good for each other ultimately but it's nice to pretend for a while.

rear view

heard about all the things you've done

and all the wars that you've been in

heard about all the love you lost

It was over before it began

heard about all the miles you've gone

just to start again

heard about all that you've been through

and it sounds like you need a friend, a friend

i never doubted myself, but i doubted you

i'm tired of looking at myself in my rear view

i think what gets to me mostly is that jet & zuko are. almost friends. a very messy, dishonest and intense almost friendship, but zuko hasn't had a friendship at all a since like idk. ever. they are very similar in their anger at the word and the fact that they are both outcasts to the world albeit for very different reasons, and they both see each other as a reflection of themselves which makes them connect instantly and at the same time what pulls them apart eventually.

[youdonknowaboutme]

First, There’s Sierra. Then, There’s Bash.

Roller Derby has been my dream since I was fifteen years old. I saw “Whip It” in 2009 and fell in love. I always said that if there’s one thing I regret, it’s not starting sooner. I thought about that for a moment and realized that things fell into place exactly when they were supposed to. Every derby player I know will tell you that it came into their lives when they needed it the most. I believe in this theory wholeheartedly. This beautiful, all-inclusive sport saved my soul.

It took a broken person,

Turned her into a beast,

And slapped her with the name “Bash.”

My given name is Sierra. My name was almost Savannah until parents heard the name Sierra being thrown around in a Burger King. My derby name is Khloe KarBash-u-in, but my teammates call me “Bash.” My derby name is more than just a name on the back of my jersey. 

I knew I was meant for this when going through old photo albums at my parents house. I came across a photo of me in a sassy pose, wearing Barbie skates in my grandma’s kitchen. Even though it was 1997, my dad says that he still catches me with the same look on my face. Some things never change. The only difference between now and then is that I ditched the fanny pack. 

My parents were very surprised when I told them I started playing Roller Derby. I do admit, it was pretty out of the blue - over lunch at KFC. I thought it was a little strange that they never expressed any worry about me getting hurt. Maybe they thought it was just another phase? Honestly, I think they were more skeptical than anything because I sucked at every sport I ever played growing up. I was never really the “aggressive” type. When they saw me play for the first time, I don’t think they were too impressed because I was still new. I admit that I was never a Bambi when I first drafted, I was always pretty stable on my skates...just a little lost.

I started training with the Treasure Valley Rollergirls in January 2017. I remember my first practice so vividly because it was held in a barn that was so cold, I could see my breath while skating. Our coach said, “You should all be proud of yourselves for showing up. There are a lot of people who want to do this but don’t have the courage yet.” I have carried this with me since day 1. So I don’t just play this sport for me, but I also play for the ones who aren’t quite ready to lace up a pair of skates. 

I will forever be grateful to the Treasure Valley Rollergirls for giving me my introduction to derby. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite what they were looking for. They were looking for someone who was secure with themselves and what they were capable of. I didn’t possess that kind of confidence. I skated my last practice with TVR on a Wednesday and 24 hours later, I rolled into my very first practice with the Beet City Bombers. By this time, it was March 2018. 

Treasure Valley taught me how to skate.

Beet City taught me how to derby. 

I received the best of both worlds (insert Hannah Montana singing). 

On June 14, I became a drafted player for BCB. Aside from my high school and college graduations, draft night will go down in my personal history as being one of my greatest achievements. It was a very liberating experience for me because it was the most confident I ever felt in my life. When you spend a year in a half working your ass off for something you’ve wanted since you were a teenager, you would probably feel the same way. 

I’m not going to say I never had any opportunities to start derby sooner. When I was in high school, TVR’s very own Demolition Barbie used to work at my local library. TVR’s Draculatte was a barista on the NNU campus. The Rollerdrome gave me the contact information for BCB in 2013. 

I waited and that’s okay. 

I may have been confident on draft night but that was just a moment in memory lane. As a new skater, I wanted to see where I belonged on the track by trying everything. I probably tried every position on the track before I formed a tight bond with the outside line. 2020 is going to be a little different, as our team is smaller now and I have morphed into a backwards facing blocker. This last practice, my teammates and coach encouraged me to start jamming. Apparently, I’ve had secret jamming skills this whole time but never realized it. My derby is ever-changing.

My lack of confidence has played a huge part in my derby story. I’m an emotional person who struggles with depression and anxiety. My fear of failure is no secret to my teammates. I’ve had emotional breakdowns at games that were almost impossible to get through. When our team won, I would feel like they won without me. I say this from experience: tears and glitter don’t mix. 

Last summer, I took almost 2 weeks off to go on vacation with my family. It gave me time to get away and make a game plan for my comeback. I had an epiphany and discovered that derby wasn’t my first love, skating was. I started going to practice an hour early, three days a week just to skate. 

Some call it crazy,

I call it therapy. 

I can’t describe the feeling I get when I skate, but I can tell you that there’s nothing I would rather be doing in that moment. Skating gives me wings and brings me peace. 

The most difficult thing for me as a derby player so far is coming to the realization that I’m not going to be the best of the best overnight. In fact, I learned that this whole outlook is completely skewed. Roller Derby is about being my best and whatever that may entail, which is emulated by the choices I make to be the player I want to be.

This is my blog and I can speak my truth:

You can be a great derby player and a poor skater.

You can also be a great skater and a poor derby player.

My choice is to be an equal combination of both, which is entirely possible if you put the work in.

I separated skating skating and derby. Skating is mine and no one can take that away from me. I’m in complete control with no obstacles getting in my way, just the polish concrete in front of me. Someone suggested to me once that I treat my skating as a form of worship. I didn’t quite understand what she meant at the time. When I skate, it’s like the building I’m in is my church and I’m worshipping God through my skating. The feeling I get is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, I’m so in love with it. Skating will always be my greatest passion and derby is a close second. 

Derby on the other hand, isn’t about me at all, it’s about us. 

Skating is me,

Derby is we. 

We are more than just a group of women hitting each other on quad skates, vying for the crowd’s reaction (although that is lovely feeling). By making this clear distinction between skating and derby, my entire perspective has changed. I’ve become a better player and a better teammate because of it. 

I often think how different my life would be without derby. If it wasn’t for derby, I would have never fallen in love with with skating. Without the connections of our community, my living and work situation would be entirely different. I would have never met my best friend. I would have never gained a second family. I wouldn’t have the memories and I wouldn’t have the support.

Roller Derby may be one of the only sports in the world where you can hit someone at full force and hug it out afterwards. It’s the fastest growing sport in the world for a reason. 

Thanks for tuning in! It’s great to have a platform where I get to share my thoughts with the world. It’s even better to know that people are reading them.

All my derby love,

Sierra/Bash 

[unveilingthoughts]

2020 - At a glance !

Well , This 2020 had just left a permanent footprint in every body’s life. From january to December, this was a roller coaster ride. I mean , what not. We just had an entirely different experience of everything which we might haven’t experienced if this pendamic situation was not there.

Of course, nobody had any idea that this year we will land up into so many out breaks. From an individual perspective to world wide effects, this pandemic has shaken each one of us.

Just sharing my experience,

This year as a whole for me is a complete book with so many chapters full of life time lessons, experience and suffering.

This year has helped me to evaluate and know the inner side of me. In this race of achieving everything and that habit of making so many plans at once... we just forget to live in our present, value our family ,friends and relations , Above all and everything comes ‘self care ‘ which we just fail to concentrate on.

In january 2020 i was in mumbai for the half month and came chittor with new ready plans for the next month. I got the chance to host some social events through our NgO abhyuday and it was very satisfying and boosting for me that finally I am into something good.

But as this march came, the whole planned thing got freeze. Oh god ! This state of helplessness.

Being a social worker, it’s quite difficult for you to sit inside a room and just see so much pain among people. And above that it’s really difficult to take any decision amid this pandemic situation.

For the principle I follow in my life that whatever happens , happens for good and for a reason.

Meditation , Self care sessions , knowing yourself better , Removing the negative things you are surrounded by. I just got to explore so many things . I just got some most amazing relations this year which I am going to cherish for life .

Few things which I am going keep for life from this year are :

1. Don’t just wait for things around you to normalise. Try to find out solutions and do every possible thing you can in the given Situation.

2. No matter how hard you try to keep everyone happy, you will end up hurting some or the other. So Just don’t try. Do what your heart says and be pure inside out. Keep yourself happy and healthy so that u hold that vibe forever to make people happy and smile every time you come across them.

3. Life will give you lemons, make a lemonade according to your taste. Enjoy every situation you come across and try to learn every second.

4. You are never too old to start from scratch. At the very moment you realise that things are bothering you or making you low, change it at that very moment. Embrace the changes which helps you grow.

5. Ego and self Assumptions kills relations. Never assume anything on your part without knowing the other person’s side. And never have that ego of not sorting things out. All we are left with is Regret and Guilt at the end and that is so suffocating and bad. So , keep your understanding high.

6. Life is uncertain but it’s a one time show. Just prepare best for your performance while crossing all the hurdles and adversities.

7. Do not carry things in your mind and heart for long. Forgive and Forget if you want to live peacefully.

8. You can achieve everything with practise. Consistency , Patience and Positivity. If you hold on to this three things wisely. You will never fail in life for sure and you can rise from any sort of problem.

Lastly if I summarise this 2020 from my side

Then it would be like:

God has planned everything for you. You just need to stay alert. Keep your heart clean , no hatred for anyone. You will receive the best. You will get what you deserve.

To my all friends and relatives out there i just want to apologise for any intentional or unintentional hurt i have ever caused. I have just accepted that things do change , for that ,some changes are temporary and some are like for lifetime. Definetly , now i have my priorities and i am committed to some lifetime relations but i will never forget the reason why i started. I will stay committed to my thoughts and my work no matter what. I have nothing negative or bad for anyone in my heart. I pray for each and everyone’s happiness and yes things will pass just keep patience and stay positive.

Life changes , thing’s around you change , you enter into new relations but the only thing that matters is Understanding love and Respect that you hold for everyone who are already there.

So let’s not judge people for their behaviour. Everyone is facing something. Some express their problems and some people just can’t. So just understand everyone and let’s pledge to spread so much of love , joy and positivity to the people around us that everyone stays happy and we create a better world to live in.

We should be grateful for all that we have . There are people who are less privileged and die for getting/having things which we take for granted.

Care for your self , because you can.

Eat good , Sleep good and Think good .

Let’s not waste anything. Help a person daily in whatever manner you can.

Social work begins at home. Let’s make vow of becoming a better human each day and spread only and only love and laughters.

Thank you 2020 !!

Will be always grateful.

[cashforrester]

rank all the songs on the trolls soundtracks!

Alrighty! Since there's 33 total, I'm going to start at #33 and go up to #1, aka the best song in both Trolls combined soundtracks! Please note that I'm not up to debating any of these placements and if you try, I'll scream -- I'm not an expert on much, but I am on the world of Trolls and that's absolutely final. Also worth noting is that even #33 is a masterpiece; this list really isn't from bad to good, it's more from 'pretty good' to 'absolutely rocked my world and changed it forever more!'.

33. The last place spot goes to "Rainbows, Unicorns, Everything Nice" from Trolls: World Tour! It’s a fun little bop and it got a small chuckle out of me but in the end, it’s super short and a little too obvious.

32. “The Other Side” by SZA and JT has to score low. I know it was used to bookend Trolls: World Tour or at least the instrumentals were, but it’s one of the more boring songs on the soundtrack which is the closest to a criticism of one of these songs I’ll have.

31. “Just Sing”, the non-film version, goes here. I know this seems low and it kind of is, but that’s because outside of the context of the movie, the song doesn’t have the same punch! The movie version will be higher on the list!

30. Next goes to "What U Workin' With?" by Gwen Stefani and Justin Timberlake from Trolls! It wasn’t super utilized in the movie so it’s just kind of a spare song on the soundtracks, even if it is a fun bop! I still dance along when it comes on my playlists but the other songs are more integral to the plot.

29. The next spot goes to "Don't Slack" by Anderson Paak and Justin Timberlake, aka the voices of Prince D and Branch! It’s used in the credits of Trolls: World Tour and they’re cute little credits and a cute little song but because it wasn’t used in a more relevant way, it has to rank lower than the others.

28. "I Fall to Pieces" by Sam Rockell, aka the voice of Hickory from Trolls: World Tour comes next! It’s a short but totally funny country tune that’s used well in the plot and made me smile. It is very short though and more of a joke than anything else, but the music isn’t bad so here we go!

27. "Rock N Roll Rules" by HAIM comes next and it’s a really REALLY good song, don’t get me wrong! I love the instrumentals and how they’re used in Trolls: World Tour and I still wish they’d gotten the lead singer of HAIM to voice Queen Barb instead of Rachel Bloom, but ultimately it just reminds me we didn’t get a great rock vocalist for the most important character in the sequel.

26. "It's All Love" by Andersen Paak has to come next! I love this song actually but there’s two versions on the soundtrack and this is the non-film version so it’s got to score lower than songs actually used in the movies, but holy heck, it’s a really good song, I’d highly recommend it.

25. Another song that’s just used as a joke is "The Sound of Silence" by Anna Kendrick, aka Poppy in Trolls and this ranks higher than the others because it was the first real joke song and it made me laugh so hard I cried!

24. "Barracuda” is the worst of Rachel Bloom’s vocal performances in Trolls: World Tour and I hate to say it, I really do, but at times on this one, you can definitely hear that she isn’t a rock singer. It scores higher than the others so far because it was used in a super plot relevant moment and super effectively! AND the most offensive part of the song to my ears, when she says the titular word horribly, was cut out of the film, so it gets 26th instead of last place for being a song that’s hard for me, the King of Suspension of Disbelief, to take seriously.

23. “They Don’t Know” by Ariana Grande comes next. It’s a fun bubbly song that fits Gristle and Bridget’s first date in Trolls perfectly and it made me really really want a roller-skating date at some point in my life. It gets points off for not being able to understand the words and also because none of the characters actually sang it. Songs in the backgrounds of musicals score lower with me.

22. I have to put “Can’t Stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake here. It’s one of my favorite songs ever but the film version is even better! It gets higher than other non-film versions because of how much it was used for advertising, it basically became synonymous with the Trolls franchise and that sparks joy.

21. And on that note, I have to put “True Colors” the non-film version, before we get to our top twenty. It’s such an amazing song but in the scope of the Troll world... well, the film version is going to score way higher, you’ll see.

20. "Trolls 2 Many Hits Mashup" in Trolls: World Tour has to come next. It’s the last joke song, and the highest scorer because at least they committed to the joke of pop music being way too much! The scene in its entirety is hilarious and all the voice actors really did their best! 

19. "Leaving Lonesome Flats" from Trolls: World Tour comes next! It loses some major points for not being sung by a character in the movie but it’s basically sung by the location that is Lonesome Flats and I love that! It’s a fun little country dirge that really makes us feel transported and it also slaps.

18. "Crazy Train" is maybe the average of Rachel Bloom’s performance as Barb in Trolls: World Tour. It’s over the top and not necessarily in a good way but it’s inoffensive to the ears and a good song notwithstanding whether it’s a cover. 

17. "Trolls Wanna Have Good Times" has to come next which isn’t fair, really; the only reason it’s not higher is because it’s clearly trying to do as well at an opening medley as its predecessor Trolls did with their opening medley. As it often is with sequels, the opening number really didn’t measure up. It was made up of some really fun parts and it gets points for having personalized lyrics (’lived underground away from the world till I had my life changed by a beautiful girl. Just need the guts to tell her that she’s the one’? Amazing!)

16. "Hair Up" from the opening of Trolls comes next! It’s purely sentimental that its this high but every time I hear this beat, it’s like I’m about to start watching Trolls and my whole mind and body get happy so it had to be top twenty, although not fifteen because it’s not the best of the best.

15. "Born to Die" by Kelly Clarkson, aka Delta Dawn, from Trolls: World Tour comes next. My favorite songs from the sequels were the introduction songs for the most part, and this song did a great job of summing up the differences between country trolls and pop trolls. It was great for plot, character, and conflict! It’s just not the kind of music I bop to - ironically, it’s lower than the other introduction songs for me because it’s not fun, which I know is their whole thing, but my whole thing is having fun!

14. "Atomic Dog World Tour Remix" is the funk trolls introduction song in Trolls: World Tour and it’s funky and fun and fresh and I love it! There’s not that much to say about this one, it’s used pretty quickly but very effectively from a storytelling standpoint! It quickly puts us into the world of the funk trolls.

13. "One More Time" is a very nearly perfect introduction song for the techno trolls in Trolls: World Tour! I love how the emphasis of this song is the instrumentals and the dancing more than the actual words -- the techno trolls are big on synchronicity and beats and it’s something that differentiates them from the other kinds of trolls and also makes them a devastating first colony to attack in the movie. They’re all about unity and togetherness and something about attacking and tearing apart the group that’s all about syncing up is so tragic.

12.  “Rock You Like a Hurricane” is the best Bloom sounds in the movie as Barb, and it’s also her introduction song, not surprisingly. The instrumentals are amazing both as a display of talent and power and her voice lends itself well to the moment; it’s a great opener for the rock trolls and it made me so excited to see more from them!

11. “Perfect for Me” is Trolls: World Tour’s answer to the excellence that was the True Colors duet and it was really cute! It wasn’t quite as perfect for the moment as True Colors was, which is funny because this one was written for the movie but I don’t know, since it was written for the movie, I’d have hoped it’d be better? More fitting? It’s a fine enough song that sometimes I listen to sadly while lying down in my bed but in the Trollverse, it’s not top ten material.

10. “September” comes next! It’s the song that the Trolls start singing as soon as they escape the Bergins and it’s their celebration song and I love it for that! It’s also used in the credits of the first movie which makes me love it more; I don’t know, it’s performed and sung really well and makes me really happy. The top ten all spark MASSING amounts of joy.

9. “It’s All Love (History of Funk)” is one of the best songs in the sequel! I love the way the funk trolls go through the history of funk and music, and the beats are amazing and the lyrics are so good and the movie’s scene is SO GOOD. I can’t articulate how much I love that the funk trolls show their history through album covers instead of scrapbooks like the pop trolls. All the vocalists are crazy talented and something about the beat just...yes. It’s just a yes.

8. “Yodel Beat”! It scores surprisingly high if you haven’t seen Trolls: World Tour but if you HAVE seen it, you’ll understand why! It’s one of the best songs for musically punctuating a moment that the entire franchise has and I still get goosebumps thinking about how that scene was executed and how this song played such a massive role in it. Big fan, big fan!

7. "I'm Coming Out" / "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" is just hilarious! I love this scene in Trolls, as it’s the first example we have that Trolls and Bergins can work together, as well as the fact that Bergins can be happy without eating trolls, since Bridget is so confident and awesome! I also give lots of points to mashups and medleys and this was an unexpected one that just worked!

6. "Just Sing (Trolls World Tour)" is the best song in the sequel, hands down! When all the leaders of the different troll counties sing together? It’s amazing, every single time! It’s so meaningful, the fact that music is the most important thing in all of their lives and how it’s what ultimately unites them. I shed a tear every time, honestly. I’m tearing up thinking about it right now.

5. "Hello"  in Trolls is performed EXPERTLY by Zooey Deschanel. Did anyone know she was that funny? Because holy carp! She’s hilarious! I love this song and scene, it was one of the first scenes in Trolls that made me realize this movie was on a whole other level! It had to be top five!

4. "Get Back Up Again" by Anna Kendrick aka Poppy has to be a high scorer! It’s an original for the movie and it’s so damn good! It’s optimistic and encouraging and I love it for the movie and the character but I also love to listen to it when I need some help getting up or feeling like it’s going to be a good day. I will get back up again! It’s a great philosophy and a fantastic reminder that life can knock you down but that you’ll be good!

3. Top three times! The best medley in the movie has to be here, and that’s "Move Your Feet" / "D.A.N.C.E." / "It's a Sunshine Day"! It’s our introduction to the Pop trolls in the first movie and it’s crafted so good! I love it! No matter how many times I listen to it, it makes me so so happy the way the songs flow together. Any world where these songs exist and fit together as well as they do is a world I want to be sucked into for at least the next two hours of my life.

2. THE FILM VERSION OF “TRUE COLORS”! Is my number two pick! It has to be! It’s so impactful and emotional and romantic and if I ever get somebody to want to marry me, an instrumental cover of this has to be our first dance song, I’m sorry. It’s so beautiful! And the film version somehow makes an amazing song even better! WHEN THE TROLLS HUG TIME WATCHES CHIME OFF IN THE TUNE OF THE SONG?! AS THEY FACE THEIR IMPENDING DOOM?! IT’S AMAZING, SHOWSTOPPING, LEGENDARY, ICONIC. I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it!

1. If you know me, you knew “Can’t Stop the Feeling”, the film version, was gonna be number one! The buildup to that moment in the movie is cinematic perfection, the performance is dazzling, and the feeling it leaves in you is unforgettable. It’s the song that’s played when the trolls teach the Bergins that you don’t need to eat other sentient species to be happy, you just need to find the magic and music inside of you, and it’s a lesson I learned while watching -- this movie and this song unlocked a power inside of me to smile and be happy with just myself and it’s absolutely... it’s just everything. It’s everything and I love it and I love you, whoever you are, who sent me this ask, because getting to think about and go through all the songs in Trolls that I love, it was awesome.

honesty hour!

[verritytorres]

calron fake dating au - unfinished outline

THROUGHOUT ONE MONTH (OCTOBER 2017)

·      still not fully clear on why they fake date but we getting there

o   call announces it for shits n giggles at a party on Thursday night (drunk? to celia the gossip queen?) then morning after everyone’s like “oh congrats on finally dating aaron btw!” “what”

o   aaron’s pissed at first cause that’s actually a shitty thing to do also he’s been pining for going on two years now do u have any idea what this does to his Heart

o   that is, until something happens that convinces him

§  some bully fuckers in the locker room after soccer practice like “who we gonna get today, chad?” “well everyone in here is off limits so--” aaron chimes in “what do you mean… off limits” “look youre a respectable guy so we treat you right, always have. teammates honor and all that. so we get at other people instead” (cue Dark Aaron) “and who are these other people” “that scrawny guy hunt for example” “oh, you mean call hunt my boyfriend?” “your…what?” “you heard me. if you fuck with him, you and I might have a problem. and nobody wants that.”

§  later, aaron texts call “I’m in.”

§  “sweet. what changed ur mind?” “That’s not important.”

·      the only person that knows is tamara bc helou its tamara they don’t keep secrets from each other

o   STUDY SESSION AT THE GABLES FRIDAY AFTERNOON (they all in the same regular algebra class cause theyre gay and therefore not great at math):

§  t: yo btw have you guys dealt with the whole “youre dating” rumor? if anyones been giving you a hard time tell me so I can eliminate them off the face of the earth

§  c: actually, aaron and I are just gonna roll with it

§  t: wait. youre actually gonna date?

§  c: NO no no no we’re gonna fake date. scam the fuck outta the school also it’s a bit too awkward to go back on it now for me so

§  t: (turns and gives aaron a Look cause she knows this fuckers been pining forever) are YOU on board with this?

§  a: (busies himself with his hw to hide his blush) yeahsurewhynot

§  t: (looks up and shakes her head) this is gonna end badly, calling it now

o   t: math is acephobic. im asexual and its inconveniencing me

·      Saturday! aaron goes over to the hunt household to hang out like he usually does

o   alastair loves him

o   alastair: so when did this happen?

o   call, who is sitting knee-to-knee w aaron on the couch like he always does: when did what happen

o   alastair: (gives him a Look) the watsons came in this morning. Brenda told me the news, im just surprised you didn’t tell me

o   call:…..what news…….

o   alastair: you two are dating, right? which im totally fine with btw, i had a boyfriend back then too, and im really happy for you, youre both mature enough that I don’t have to give the whole speech—

o   call and aaron are looking at each other in Horror

o   call: OKAY THANKS DAD WE’RE GONNA WALK HAVOC NOW BYE (nyooms outta the house with aaron and havoc in tow)

o   out in the park

§  c: so I guess we gotta find out how to sell this whole (gestures between himself and aaron) thing

§  a: (snorts) thing?

§  c: yeah thing. if my hermit dad knows, then we can assume just about everyone in town knows too. which is not the idealest

§  a: why’s that?

§  c: cause then we gotta act all coupley to everyone or else they’ll be like “wait a minute…are they really dating??”

§  a: well, not with everyone. tamara knows

§  c: yeah, that’s one person in a whole townful of people

§  a: we spend the majority of our time with tamara though

§  c:….point. we still gotta sell it to everyone else

§  a: it cant be that hard, just hold hands a little here, drop some compliments there

§  in reality aaron doesn’t wanna do Big Couple Things or else he might literally spontaneously combust. its possible, hes read abt it

§  c: oh come on, no one gonna buy that. we gotta pull out all the stops

§  a: (cursing silently) like?

§  c: hugs. general lack of personal space. kiss on the cheek, maybe. pet names.

§  a: (calming his crazy heart) oh. I see.

§  c: as long as youre alright with it, of course! I don’t wanna do some creeper shit and like accidentally assault you

§  a: nonono I get it im alright with it. (pause) we should uh..have some signal, though

§  c: signal?

§  a: in case one of us goes too far or something. nothing too obvious, but just obvious for us to notice

§  c: hm. ok, how bout asshole?

§  a: (bursts out laughing) asshole????

§  c: (grinning) yeah, asshole. I never call you an asshole, you never call me an asshole. so if you say “youre a bit clingy there, asshole” I know I should back off

§  a: that- that hardly sounds affectionate

§  c: well duh you gotta say it in an affectionate way. like this (sticky sweet voice, batting eyelashes) “asshole”

§  a: (still laughing) okay. asshole it is.

§  theyre both quiet ntil aaron speaks up. “I do have one request”

§  “which is?”

§  “this is gonna sound weird, please don’t ask but…don’t kiss me. not unless I tell you to.”

§  call looks at him like ??? then says “sure, man. nix on smooches. you wish you had a taste of these bad boys, though.”

§  aaron turns away bc hes a blushy boi. “youre making it weird.”

·      Monday rolls in

o   call is in Zombie Mode making himself coffee on his antique expensive coffee machine (the best Christmas gift ever thanks alastair)

o   alastair, making pancakes: shouldn’t you bring an extra to school today?

o   sleepy call, pouring himself a solid triple shot of espresso: whaddya mean

o   alastair: if youre gonna be dating aaron, you gotta treat him right. bring out the big guns, you know

o   call, suddenly wide awake: what????

o   alastair: I will not have that boy deprived of real boyfriend privileges

o   so call leaves his house with two coffee cups

o   he walks over to where he knows aaron is at the time (music room, playing piano)

o   before he heads in he looks inside and just. stares at aaron playing the piano. gay descriptions galore

o   aaron hits a wrong key and swears

o   c: well that’s a big word

o   a: (practically jumps out of his seat, swearing again)

o   c: and that’s an even bigger one

o   a: oh, its you. good morning, call

o   c: morning, snookums

o   a: (smiling tentatively) snookums? is that really the best you can do

o   c: that’s just scratching the surface, and also its Monday morning so im not at my peak. anyway i brought you coffee

o   a: thanks. already “pulling out all the stops” I see

o   c: I plan to be an especially doting boyfriend (glances at the door, sees a few people staring at them) I..gotta get to my locker (kisses his cheek, aaron goes rigid, call whispers at his ear) we got an audience. see you at lunch

o   aaron sits there for a while after call leaves staring at the ceiling and asking himself why

·      lunch in the magisterium high caf

o   jasper: I JUST—I STILL DON’T GET IT

o   aaron, biting calmly at his sandwich: what don’t you get

o   jasper: there are at LEAST a dozen guys in this school ready and willing to go out with you and you go with CALL

o   call, resting his head on Aarons shoulder, much to Aarons chagrin: its ok dude you can just say youre jealous

o   jasper: YEAH A LITTLE. Aarons like…the best catch out here. the golden boyfriend. the guy that would tell your parents “yes sir ill have him back by nine thirty sharp :)”

o   aaron: I wouldn’t say that to alastair

o   call: yeah you would (turning back to jasper) who are these dozen guys? I gotta know whos planning to fight me so I can know their weaknesses beforehand

o   jasper: kai hale, for one

o   aaron: hmm. he is kinda cute

o   call: HEY

o   jasper: definitely cuter than hunt

o   aaron: is there something particularly wrong with call?

o   jasper: OPEN YOUR EYES HES A TRASH MAN

o   call: takes one to know one

o   aaron, shrugging and finishing his sandwich: maybe I like trash men

o   call laughing his ass off, jasper groaning: youre killing me, stewart. youre literally causing my cells to stop functioning

·      study hall w aaron and tamara

o   t: (has been frowning at him for the past 10 mins)

o   a: okay you clearly want to talk about something so out with it

o   t: are you sure about this thing with call?

o   a: what, the dating thing?

o   t: the fake dating thing

o   a: right. its fake. yeah im fine

o   t: we both know that’s a lie, aaron. we don’t lie to each other

o   a: (sardonically) yeah well. ive been lying to him since we were freshmen

o   t: having a crush isn’t lying, per se, but that’s besides the point. im worried about you, man. I don’t want call to hurt you accidentally, and then consequently be hurt himself by not knowing how he hurt you, cause then ILL be hurt by best friend collateral drama

o   a: I get it, tamara

o   t: then I reiterate: are you sure about this?

o   big internal monologue

o   a: yeah. im sure.

·      INSERT SLOW BURN

·      CARNIVAL

o   it’s the fall festival since its October theres pumpkins everywhere and haunted houses and candied apples and hay bales and rides and its lit

o   the iron trio+jasper go always

o   theyre walking around, aaron looking at the decorations, tamara call and jasper arguing abt which haunted house to visit first

o   c: the mansion is the obvious choice just sayin

o   j: but theres a haunted hospital ffs

o   c: ive been in enough hospitals to know for a fact that they are all haunted so that doesn’t excite me as much as a MANSION

o   t: how bout…we happy medium at…the graveyard one

o   a: how bout we don’t go to any of those and just go to the roller coasters instead

o   t: aaron, I love you, but youre a weenie sometimes. you can wait outside if you don’t wanna go

o   a: im not leaving you guys alone! (catches calls eye, glances at jasper, call nods a lil, aaron drapes his arm round calls shoulders) who am I to let my boyfriend into that scary place alone?

o   c: (smiling and rolling his eyes) its not that scary, but I appreciate the offer, sugar

o   aaron? oh yes he is dead

o   j: (GAG) youre going to give me diabetes with all these sweets

o   t: (mischievous smile) I dunno, jasper. ever since they started dating they’ve been acting kinda the same as always

o   aaron Tenses, call raises an eyebrow at him then turns to tamara

o   c: what were you expecting, rajavi? showers of pda everywhere?

o   t: oh come on, if any one of us is going to be That Couple its you two.

o   a: LOOK THERES CARAMEL APPLES OVER THERE (nyoom)

o   turns out the haunted whatevers are not open yet, they open at nightfall, so they head to the roller coasters

o   surprise surprise call hates roller coasters

o   “if I die I want you all to know that you are not written into my will therefore I owe you nothing”

o   hes clinging to aaron the whole ride and aaron is like if theres a god up above…….

o   then they reach the hay bales and jaspers like “im gonna head over to the bumper boats w tamara you guys can wait here or do whatever I guess”

o   “we’re just fine going with you guys??”

o   jasper looks at call weirdly and says “um, no youre not. you lovebirds need some alone time. get your 10 things I hate about you on in these haystacks.”

o   they get redder than the ripest tomatoes

o   t: UHHH HES RIGHT BYE GUYS (N Y O O M)

o   they just stand there awkwardly for a while when call says “wanna head over to the carnival games” “please”

o   they walk over to the game area in a kinda uncomf silence until aaron breaks it

o   “what did jasper mean by 10 things I hate about you?”

o   call stares at him “are you serious right now”

o   aaron looks at him meaningfully

o   “oh my god. oh my god. have you never watched 10 things???”

o   “no?”

o   “oh my god. dude. its just like star wars all over again. we’re watching it, no excuses.”

o   aaron smiles at him “okay. whats it about?”

o   “well if I tell you that ruins the whole goddamn surprise, doesn’t it, pumpkin?”

o   he laughs. “it does, doesn’t it.”

o   they get to the carnival game: the hammer game. the biggest prize is a huge stuffed monkey

o   aaron turns to call grinning and calls like “you do know this game’s rigged right. theres no way you can win.”

o   but of course. aaron wins.

o   call is just gaping at him and whispers “you fucking beefcake you.”

o   aaron says “here’s your prize, boyfriend” and fucking winks

o   is call dying? we don’t know this aint his pov

o   c: it looks like you

o   a: thanks

o   call suddenly looks behind aaron with wide eyes and grabs Aarons hand so Aarons brain goes like WHAT…..

o   “heads up,” call whispers, “group of classmates at eight o clock”

o   AY ILL KEEP WRITING LATER GOTTA ACTUALLY START OR ELSE I NEVER WILL

·      call and tamara have always attended every one of aaron’s soccer games, but for some reason this one felt different

o   theyre cheering frm the side with their banners as always (banners say STEWART FOR SOCCER GOD and LUCKY NUMBER 8 and most recently THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!!! maybe that last one makes this different)

o   its also rainy as heck the banners had to be laminated this time (do not underestimate being friends w a rich kid)

o   they both in they raincoats while Aarons in full soccer gear in the RAIN rifp

o   but the team is falling behind so theyre like FUK OUR CHEERING ISNT WORKING WHAT WE DO

o   at halftime

§  t: lets get the fuck down there we gotta give him a pep talk

§  c: what r we gonna say

§  t: HELL IF I KNOW LETS JUST DO IT

§  so they head down to where aaron is sitting, drinking from his water bottle

§  c: cant you just tilt your head back and stick your tongue out in this weather

§  t: shut up. aaron we are here to peptalk you. (INSERT PEPTALK IDK HOW TO PEP)

§  exit tamara

§  a: (wince) we’re that bad today, are we

§  c: yeah youre kinda sucking

§  a: well that’s not the supportive boyfriend comment I expected

§  c: doting. I said I was going to be doting, not supportive. and definitely not a liar

§  a: whatever. tamara’s pep talk helped, so I guess ill get my head in the game

§  coach rockmaple blows his whistle for the team huddle. aaron salutes call with two fingers before standing up to go and then call blurts “ice cream. on me. if you win the game, that is.”

§  aaron stares at him and then smiles. “you’re on.”

§  TEAM MAKES A HUGE COMEBACK AND WINS THE GAME!!!

§  everyones celebrating and grinning and cheering and call catches aarons eye and theyre smiling, smiling, smiling, and suddenly call finds himself right in front of aaron and aaron is cupping his face and its raining and it sounds like something out of a movie and his face is so close and aaron’s freckles are covered in droplets and so are his lashes and call never really thought about it but if he leaned in, tilted his head just a bit, they would be kissing, and call could pass it off as having an audience—

§  aaron pulls call’s face towards him and kisses his forehead, leaning his head to call’s ear to say “you owe me an ice cream.”

§  and call’s heart all but leaps from his body, he feels lightheaded, and aaron looks fucking beautiful like this, his eyes alight with triumph and joy and something else

§  he doesn’t think till he gets home that wanting to kiss aaron for real wasn’t part of the plan.

·      they first kiss at a party cause everyones like KISS KISS KISS so call (lightly drunk) cups Aarons cheek and leans in. aaron.exe has crashed is not working holy fuck this is the best thing ever and all those gay ass descriptors. everyone cheers in the bg

o   call is dronk, aaron is driving him home, call is being supper chattery and super flirty (think: drunk Laurent)

o   alastair is sleeping so aaron has to make sure call is quiet when going to his room

o   a: (a lil breathless cause hes basically carrying call) be quiet, your dad is sleeping right there

o   c: (winking with both eyes) what do I get in returnnnnn

o   a: oh my god

o   aaron finally gets him to his bed, drapes him on it and tucks him in, hes about to lean away when call grabs his shirt collar to keep him there

o   “aren’t you gonna give your fake boyfriend a proper goodnight?”

o   AARON.EXE HAS CRASHED HE IS DEAD HE IS GONE GOODBYE

o   “youre drunk. i—we can’t—youre not yourself right now. goodnight.”

o   “mm. alright. you owe me a kiss, though.”

o   aaron huffs. he cant breathe right. and just because its 3 am and hes feeling reckless after kissing him tonight and call’s just about asleep and he probably wont remember this in the morning, he whispers, “sure.”

·      THE BREAK

o   Aarons leaning on his kitchen counter, trying to look casual but ultimately failing. call has a sneaking suspicion as to why hes acting this weird but by god he will not say it. its too embarrassing on its own.

o   “so.” aaron says. “you kissed me last night.”

o   fuck. dammit. “did i?”

o   “yeah, in the middle of the party. everyone was watching.”

o   call spots himself a loophole and hell if he doesn’t take it. “sweet. looks like drunk me was up for a show.”

o   “what do you mean?”

o   “well, it was a full party. this whole thing is build on other people believing we’re together

o   “’sides. it’s all just fake anyway.”

o   aaron stops, his hands fists. “right,” he croaks. “its all fake.”

o   “dude…you okay?”

o   “yeah. yeah im fine.”

o   “don’t lie to me aaron, i can see youre upset. spit it out.”

o   aaron takes a deep breath and quickly says “is it really all fake?”

o   call freezes. his mind replays last week’s game, and the subsequent breakdown he had because he likes aaron. and fuck. fuck. he swore he was being quiet about it.

o   “yeah,” he says after a while, forcing the words out. “it was always fake, that’s the idea.”

o   “lately, it hasn’t felt fake.”

o   call’s stomach drops. “if you ever needed to stop you could’ve just said—“

o   Aarons eyes are closed. “last night didn’t feel fake.”

o   because it wasn’t, because im a shitty human who fell for you and since I did this has all been horrible self indulgence, because I like you and you don’t like me.

o   “well it was, so I don’t know why youre making such a big deal out of it.”

o   call hates the things that come out of his mouth.

o   something in aaron seems to catch fire, his eyes fly open and he’s angry, call has barely ever seen him angry at him. “it’s a big deal for me, you kissed me”

o   “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to!”

o   “then if you didn’t mean to, why did you!”

o   calls head is spinning, he doesn’t know what hes doing at this point. “I was drunk, aaron, people fuck up when theyre drunk”

o   “I told you not to kiss me, but you went and did it anyway, do you have any idea how that felt—“

o   “I don’t, aaron, because I don’t feel the things you feel!”

o   aaron freezes completely, his eyes wide

o   “right. I forgot. sorry. right.”

o   theyre quiet, and call knows he fucked up. he doesn’t know exactly how, but he knows.

o   “I…I gotta go. bye.”

o   aaron slams the door behind him, call hears the car door slam and aaron driving away before he manages to whisper “wait”

o   but its too late. hes alone.

o   well, not alone. havoc noses his waist and looks up at him with huge, worried eyes.

o   “come on, boy. lets go for a walk.”

o   he ends up at the park—the same park he first discussed the thing with aaron. he sits down under a tree and rests his head on his knees, havoc cuddling up to him.

o   he kind of drifts off, loses track of time. his mind is kinda blank right now. he knows that’s probably a shitty coping mechanism but what the fuck can you do.

o   he doesn’t want to do anything right now. he doesn’t want to deal with anything or anyone right now.

o   he doesn’t want to feel anything, because feeling is what got him into this mess in the first place.

o   he’s so wrapped up in his personal void that he doesn’t hear the footsteps behind him until he hears jasper say “you look miserable.”

o   call doesn’t look up. “fuck off, jasper.”

o   he does not fuck off. instead call hears leaves crunching  as jasper sits down next to him.

o   “he’s at tamara’s. been there for the past hour.”

o   “didn’t ask.”

o   “but you wanted to know.” calls quiet at this.

[kachulein]

Mind giving me K-pop recommendations? Like, what got you into K-pop, who's your favorite, things like that? I want to try listening to it and I wanted to ask you, Kachu! Congrats on 800!! 💖💙

Aww thank you so much dear!!

First of all, Kpop is not just simply pop music, as the name suggests. Within the genre kpop are actually many different genres of music mingled and there’s something nice for (almost) everyone to find. I’ll give you some information about my favourite groups that might help you find what you could like. I will also link mostly title songs as they are the more popular songs and usually have a music video (kpop music videos are always very aesthetic btw).

Starting off with my ultimate favourite group Stray Kids. They are still rookies as they debuted in March 2018 but I’ve fallen in love with them and their music so much that I highly recommend you checking them out. They are a 9 member boy group with three of those members, Bang Chan, Changbin and Han (knowns as 3RACHA) writing and composing all of their songs. 3RACHA has been releasing pre-debut mixtapes on Souncloud throughout 2017 and if you like hip hop/rap music, you should definitely give them a listen. Some recs are:

Hellevator

District 9

Grow Up (try to listen & read lyrics without crying; you can put on eng sub on the mv)

Voices

My Pace

Awkward Silence

I am YOU

Get Cool

M.I.A

Mixtape#3 ‘For You’

Mixtape#1 ‘Placebo’ (my favourite songs of theirs)

Mixtape#2 ‘Even a shadow needs light to exist’

note: The songs with a ‘mixtape’ in front of them mean that they were originally  track 3RACHA released in one of their mixtapes but they’ve been alternated and remastered into a ot9 Stray Kids version

Some 3RACHA songs:

ZONE

Start Line

Matryoshka

Broken Compass

NXT 2 U

Tik Tok

P.A.C.E

Placebo (I love the original version as well)

For You (^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)

Runners High

MONSTA X is another one of my favourites and it was actually thanks to their song Hero that I got into kpop. It’s a great song with a beautiful music video and I highly recommend it. Their songs are usually very powerful bangers to get hyped to. Some song I recommend are:

Hero

All in

Stuck

Shine Forever

Beautiful

Fighter

Jealousy

Dramarama

Newton

Shoot Out

Another favourite of mine is BTS. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of them already. They’ve been around for a while and gained worldwide a lot of popularity in 2017. They’ve changed their music style over the years but it shows that their music has grown with them. Some recs are:

I NEED U

Dope

Run

Fire

Save Me

Blood, Sweat & Tears

Spring Day

Not Today

DNA (their most famous song I believe but not their best imo)

MIC Drop

FAKE LOVE

IDOL

I’m Fine

Don’t Leave Me

Another group I definitely cannot miss is Seventeen. Their name is misleading since they are actually only 13 members not 17 (it’s still a lot though). The group is split into 3 sub-units, Hip Hop Team, Vocal Team, and Performance Team with each of those teams having a leader. The three leaders also created a SVT Leaders unit for their song Change Up. They mainly release ot13 songs with one of their members, called Woozi, being the main composer but they also released songs in their respective units. Some recs are:

Boom Boom

Check-In (Hip Hop Team)

Highlight (Performance Team)

Don’t Wanna Cry

Change Up (SVT Leaders)

Pinwheel (Vocal Team)

Clap

THANKS

Oh My!

Call Call Call

Getting Closer

bonus: Just Do It (by BSS a new sub-unit consisting of three members, however they only released this song so far)

Got7 is a groups under JYP entertainment just like Stray Kids and they are their seniors since Got7 has been around since 2014. They also have great music I highly recommend checking out:

Hard Carry

Never Ever

You Are

Look

Lullaby

Miracle

Day6 is under JYP entertainment as well but they are a bit different from the usual Kpop group since they are actually a band and play their own instruments. If you like rock music, I highly recommend them!!

Shoot Me

Beautiful Feeling

Somehow

DANCE DANCE

I Wait

How Can I Say

Congratulations

and since we’re already talking about about rock music, here’s some more groups whose music goes into the direction of rock to check out:

The Rose - BABY, Sorry

FT ISLAND - Take Me Now, Pray, Out Of Love, Lose, Hello Hello, Wind

Dreamcatcher - Chase Me, Good Night, Fly High, YOU AND I, What

EXO is a group that has been around since 2012 and even though they haven’t been very active lately, they still got a lot of bops that you could check out. They are under SM entertainment just like the next three groups I’m about to mention:

Overdose

Call Me Baby

Love Me Right

Lightsaber

Monster

Lotto

Ko Ko Bop

The Eve

Tempo

Love Shot

NCT are another group under SM. Their concept is a bit difficult because they are said to have an unlimited member count and they will be debuting more and more sub-units. NCT (as a whole) consist of 21 members as of now with 3 already existing units called NCT U, NCT 127, and NCT Dream and a fourth unit called WayV that is said to debut this month. Some recs are:

NCT U:

The 7th Sense

BOSS

Baby Don’t Stop

NCT 127:

Limitless

Cherry Bomb

Chain

TOUCH

Regular

Simon Says

NCT Dream:

We Young

GO

We Go Up

Red Velvet and Oh!GG are two girl groups under SM Entertainment. They are both really nice and worth checking out. OH!GG is actually a sub-unit from the girl group Girl’s Generation, one of the most popular girl groups of the 2nd Generation. I hope I’m not messing up rn with the info lol. And Red Velvet is currently one of the big three girl groups.

Red Velvet:

Dumb Dumb

Ice Cream Cake

Russian Roulette

Red Flavor

Peek-A-Boo

Bad Boy (love this so much)

Really Bad Boy (what a bop)

OH!GG:

Lil’ Touch

Twice and Blackpink are the last two girl groups I’ll be introducing to you. They are the other two of the big three girl groups alongside Red Velvet and are very successful and definitely worth checking out:

Twice, an example of a cute girl group:

Likey

TT

What Is Love?

Dance The Night Away

YES or YES

BlackPink, an example of a badass girl group:

Boombayah

Whistle

Playing With Fire

Stay

As If It’s Your Last

DDU-DU DDU-DU

The last group I’ll be mentioning is Big Bang, they are the Kings of the 2nd Generation of Kpop (if I didn’t misunderstand the whole generation stuff) and they released A LOT of great songs since they’ve been around since 2006. here are some recs I really like:

Bang Bang Bang

FXXK IT

Sober

Last Dance

Fantastic Baby

Let’s Not Fall In Love

GOOD BOY (GD x Taeyang)

Last but not least, I’ll list you some more songs from girl/boy groups and solo artists that I really like and find worth checking out. However, I try to keep it on the down-low since I could recommend and huge amount of songs.^^

Boy Groups:

iKON - Love Scenario, Killing Me, Bling Bling, B-Day

WINNER - REALLY REALLY, EVERYDAY

VAV - Senorita

TRCNG - UTOPIA (one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard)

VIXX - Fantasy

Pentagon - Shine, Runaway

SF9 - Fanfare, ROAR, Now Or Never

Girl Groups:

Pristin V - Get it

CLC - Hobgoblin, Black Dress

Weki Meki - Crush, La La La, I don’t like your Girlfriend

Gugudan - Not That Type

IZ*ONE - La Vie En Rose

(G)I-DLE - LATATA, Hann (alone)

Mamamoo - Egotistic, Starry Night

9MUSES - Remember, Love City

Solo Artists:

Sunmi - Gashina, Heroine, Siren

Chungha - Roller Coaster

Taeyeon (member of Girls Generation/Oh!GG) - I, Why

Hyuna - Roll Deep, BABE, Lip & Hip

IU - Twenty-three

Jay Park - Me Like You

G-Dragon (leader of Big Bang) - Untitled, 2014, COUP D’ETAT, Crooked

Jennie (member of BlackPink) - SOLO

Taemin (member of SHINee) - MOVE, Thirsty, Sayonara Hitori

This probably sounds confusing and like a whole lot, but don’t worry!! The main thing right now is that you find some songs to check out and the rest is some additional info to help you decide what to check out since it’s a lot.^^

[tinamaetales]

2017 K Drama Journey

It was that one night, while scrolling through my facebook feed that I came across this short clip from Doctors wherein Park Shin Hye is beating up the gangsters in the ER. I got curious so I decided to find a copy of it and try watching a K Drama. I thought, why not give it a try? It was during those times that I was recovering from my PUD and I just resigned from my job and I really want to watch a good tv series and K Dramas are really popular nowadays so I decided to give it a try and, I wasn’t disappointed. K Dramas, as cliché as it may sound, changed my life. Every show I’ve watched was a roller coaster ride of emotions. In addition, they taught me lessons I never expected in the first place.

I would just like to share with you a “summarized” version of my views about the kdramas I’ve watched in 2017 (cause ya know, I’ve already posted my individual reflections about them here)

Doctor Stranger

My rating: 7/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk, Park Hae Jin, Kang So Ra and Jin Se Yeon

This is an interesting drama to watch because it doesn’t only focuses on the romance aspect but also divulge into the topic of politics and medicine. The best part? The competition between Park Hoon and Han Jae Joon for it served as an avenue for their growth both as doctors and as a person. However, I felt like the romance part in here is a bit forced; I’m sorry but the main couple has zero chemistry.

My fave quote: “…the doctor’s gown you wear? That’s sufficient enough for people to put their lives in your hands. Let’s not disappoint them”

My fave OSTs:

Like Tomorrow Won’t Come by G/O

A Good Day Like This by Jeon Hye Won

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/158622149566/strangers

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/159863753466/who-is-the-real-stranger

Goblin

 My rating: 10/10

Starring: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na and Yook SuengJae

The best K drama ever. It’s perfect. That’s all. This K drama will make you value life more and will show you that death isn’t something we should be afraid of – it’s a part of our journey on Earth, an end to a life once lived and it will only be regrettable if you didn’t live your life right. Anyway, this is a story about a Goblin who lives for more than 900 years and is searching for the Goblin’s Bride that will pull out the sword from his chest to end his immortality is surely something that would catch your attention. Let’s also add that he has an amnesiac Grim Reaper for a best friend (lol) and a spoiled brat ‘nephew’ who is so in love with his credit card. What will make you get hooked in this drama? It’s how every character are related to each other both in beautiful and painful ways; yes, even that gorgeous chicken store owner has a very important role. The part that broke my heart in this drama is the realization that the key to ending the Goblin’s immortality has become his reason to stay alive. It’s ironic how someone who has the ability to end you is also the only reason for you to keep going. Ang sakit bes.  It was a perfect mix of romance, comedy and drama.

My fave quotes:

“Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you”

“If god really only gives one as many struggles as one can handle, he may have thought too highly of me”

“The ones left behind should live even harder. We might cry from time to time but we should smile a lot and cheer up. You are obligated to do that in return for the love you received”

“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful………If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love”

“How could you tell me to remember only the happy memories but to forget you? That makes no sense because every moment I spent with you was a happy one even though each and every moment was also sad and difficult. So, did my dying to protect you become your happy ending?”

“I will come as the rainfall. I will come as the first snowfall. I will beg the divinity to do just that”

“Every moment I spent with you shined. Because the weather was good. Because the weather was bad. Because the weather was good enough”

My fave OSTs: (all of them actually, lol)

Beautiful by Crush

Stay With Me by Punch ft. Chanyeol (EXO)

I will go to you like the first snow by Ailee

Hush by Lassie Lindh

I miss you by Soyou

And I’m Here by Kim Kyung Hee

You are so beautiful by Eddy Kim

Heaven by Roy Kim

Round and Round by Heize

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/160115970831/souls

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/161922642721/i-dont-wanna-live-forever-goblin-post-part-2

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/175471572666/hes-always-listening-goblin-post-part-3 

W

 My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk and Han Hyo Joo

One of the most interesting plots in the K drama land; it is a story about the lead character of a famous comic book series who developed “free will” that scared his creator so much to the point that he wanted to kill off his main character. Kang Chul’s (the comic book’s main character) creator is afraid of how he seem to be directing his own story so his solution is to kill him however due to an amazing twist of fate, the creator’s daughter (which happens to be a doctor) gets sucked inside the comic book world every time that Kang Chul is in danger in order for her to save him. This k drama knows no chill by the way, it will keep you on the edge of your seat every episode. It’s intense and sometimes stressful to watch but you will love every moment of it anyway.

My fave quotes:

“But in last moment, he suddenly thought of one word: ‘Come-from-behind-victory’. Kang Chul decided to keep fighting until he found the true culprit – he wouldn’t be able to take back his own life. So he will find the culprit before he dies, no matter what.”

“The first purpose of the characters are to deliver the story. When the purpose is gone, the character disappears forever. On the contrary, when a character’s purpose becomes clear… then the character becomes one of the main characters by force”

 My fave OST:

Where are u by Jung Joon-young

Please say something, even though it is a lie by Park Bo Ram

More of my reflection: 

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/164668803281/hero

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/174726704651/kang-chuls-fight-is-my-fight-w-blog-post-part

Love in the moonlight

My rating: 9/10

Starring: Park Bo Gum, Kim Yoo Jung, Kwak Dong Yeon, Chae Soo Bin and Jinyoung (B1A4)

My first historical drama. It’s charming especially when you have Park Bo Gum as the Crown Prince and Kim Yoo Jung as the female lead, what more can you ask for? The romance side of this feels natural and would make you feel kilig everytime! You will love it to the moon and back. Moreover, the social issues it presented were still timely and relevant. It will make you realize that no matter how many years have passed and how different the government system has changed through the years, if those in position are motivated by their love of power instead of service to people then things would definitely won’t turn out well. This drama shows us that it is when the government listen to its people that it can be effective. The officials should not create higher gates and longer barriers between them and its people but instead open its doors and close the distance after all, without its people the government is nothing.

My fave quotes:

“I wish you would be a king with good eyes because if you’re too high up, you tend not to see people below you. I wish you have good ears – you must not listen only to those who yell before you… Please protect every single person for they’re all your people. Will you promise me to become a King like that?” 

“Rather than a sun that shines alone, he’s a ruler who shines brightly when among his people, like the moonlight—I believe the king is that kind of person.”

 “The highs and lows between me and my people, the distance between me and you—I hope that you will understand my wish to be one step closer.”

My fave OSTs:

Moonlight Drawn by Clouds by Gummy

Melting Heart by K. Will

My Person by Park Bo Gum

I think I’m done sleeping by Soyou ft. Yoo Seungwoo

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/165394639616/the-rebel-prince

Legend of the blue sea

 My rating: 7/10

One of the most hyped K drama of 2016 and even though it fell short on its promising story line, I still get to enjoy watching this. It’s interesting to watch a love story between a mermaid and a human especially when it also included the theme of reincarnation. This drama also shows us the value of second chances – it is an opportunity for us to change the course of our fate but it will be our choice…it’s up to us if we want to be better.

Starring: Lee Min Ho, Jun Ji Hyun, Shin Won Ho, Lee Hee Joon and Shin Hye Sun

My fave quotes:

“If someone is reborn, might it be because they have an unrealized dream? That dream could be an unfulfilled love, or it could even be unsatisfied greed.”

“The fact that everything is repeating isn’t a curse, but an opportunity—to change the ending.”

“But when I make friends with someone, that’s it for me. Whether you backstab or not, that’s your choice. I’ll think about what I’ll do if you do backstab me. Until then, you’re my friend.”

“Rather than being unable to love my daughter because I can’t remember her, it’s better to live remembering her, even if it’s painful.”

My fave OSTs:

Love Story by Lyn

A World that is You by Yoon Mirae

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168356428401/when-history-repeats-itself

 Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

My rating: 8.5/10

If I could only describe this K Drama in one word, it would be charming. The plot is light yet relatable. Easy to watch yet filled with great life lessons too. It will actually remind us of our younger years – the silly crushes, the dreamers in us and the unforgettable friendships we gained. What I like the most about it is the simplicity of its plot yet it will touch your heart.

Starring: Lee Sung Kyung and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“No matter how high the mountain is, it will not be as grand as your dreams. This is nothing hard! We get back up no matter how harshly we’re trampled upon”

“I hope you will confront that matters (resentment towards your mother and your complicated emotions towards your uncle’s family) squarely. Those emotions such as gratitude, guilt or tiredness from pretending you don’t know the truth.. should burst out at least once. Only then you will be completely free from the trauma you are having” 

“Everyone has a youth. A time that’s more beautiful because it’s awkward and clumsy, a time that shines brilliantly. A time when you’re not afraid of anything because you have nothing to lose, and a time when you’re excited because you can have anything, everything. That’s now, age 24, my youth. Although I’m still uneasy and nervous, I’m perfect without needing anything else.”

My fave OSTs:

You and I by Kim Jong Wan

Dreaming by Han Hee

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168888275251/swag

Cheese in the trap

My rating: 6/10

If you’re looking for a realistic yet harsh approach towards depicting our society in general, then this k drama is a must watch for you. It shows how the real world sucks. It has its charming side too though, especially the love triangle between Yoo Jung, Hong Seol and Baek In Ho and it will sometimes make you feel that both guys are deserving…actually erase that…all of them are deserving of love especially after all the struggles and challenges they’ve went through at such a young age. This drama started out strong but the ending felt a bit empty.  

Starring: Park Hae Jin, Kim Go Eun, Lee Sung Kyung, Seo Kang Joon and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“Once you start working, you’ll realize you’re no longer the center of the universe, you realize there’re many people who are better & scarier than you and you need to accept that you cannot control everything.”

“People who play victim will always end up like that, losing what they have as they attempt to gain what isn’t theirs” 

“Why is it that people always want what belongs to other people? Then they delude themselves thinking other people’s things are theirs when in the end they lose what’s their own.”

“There are ups and downs in relationship but maintaining longevity is hard”

“No matter how rock bottom you are, you shouldn’t bring harm to people who care about you”

“Don’t put up walls and look down on people because among those people, there are some who sincerely wanted to be friends with you”

 My fave OSTs:

My Time with you by Vanilla Acoustic

Einfuhlung by Tearliner

Just a little by Sweden Laundry

Maybe I like you by Cosmos Hippie

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168925207681/trapped

Descendants of the Sun

My rating: 9.5/10

One of the best k dramas ever! I swear! It tells a great story of love, service and sacrifice. It is a great combination of romance, action, thrill, and philosophy.  The best thing about this is how it executed the differing principles of the way doctors and soldiers save lives. It shows us how we can find ourselves through the service of others.  

Starring: Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Kyo, and Kim Ji Won

My fave quotes:

“Soldiers always live with a shroud on. When they die in a nameless land for the sake of their country, the place of their death become their grave and their uniform become their shroud. This should be every soldier’s mindset every time they put down their uniform. Therefore, be honorable at every moment – there’s no reason to fall short” 

“I’ve been given the privilege to be a doctor, I faithfully pledge my life to serve humanity. The health and life of my patient will always be my priority. I will faithfully carry out my duties regardless of the patient’s race, religion or nationality. I will not use my knowledge inhumanely even when I’m under threat. I hereby take this oath on my account and on behalf of my honour”

 My fave OSTs:

Everytime by Chen of EXO ft. Punch

Always by Yoon Mirae

You are my Everything by Gummy

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/169657649021/sacrifices

Hwarang

My rating: 7.5/10

I once described this drama as oppa overload because it was really filled with handsome oppa! Anyway, this is a great drama to show how the youth, despite them being young, can become the nation’s future. It is when we guide the young people rightly that we can secure a good future. It also shows us how much we needed to be united for our country’s sake because we can do so much better if we work with each other instead of against each other. This is a story of growth and brotherhood. A must watch, for sure.

Starring: Go Ara, Park Seo Joon, Park Hyung Sik, Choi Min Ho (SHINee), Do Ji Han, Kim Tae Hyung (BTS),  and Jo Yoon Woo

My fave quotes:

“It’s only those who possess a lot who fear. If you don’t have anything, you don’t fear anything.”

“Only when they (Hwarang) were able to think and live freely that they can dream of a future for Silla”

“Don’t be silenced by an order created by another. You are not a horse on a chess board. You are Hwarang who are freer than anyone else in this world. The fact that you are Hwarang, never forget that”

“Being young and weak is not a sin.”

My fave OSTs:

Even if I die by V and Jin from BTS

Our Tears by Park Seo Joon

I’ll be here by Park Hyung Sik

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/170972988531/change-starts-with-us

Doctors

My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Park Shin Hye, Kim Rae Won, Lee Sung Kyung and Yoon Kyun Sang

This K drama will always have a special place in my heart because of how much I love and can relate with its heroine. The focus of this is the life of a great neurosurgeon Dr. Yoo Hye Jung – her ups and downs and how she manage to come out of all the challenges thrown at her stronger than ever. Her life story is really inspirational.

My fave quotes:

“The cells that make up a human are always in a state of instability. To live is to be unstable. In the end, the essence of life is change.”

“Unresolved pasts will always come back to find you whether it’s love or resentment”

“People say that forgiveness is not for others but for yourself. They shouldn’t say such things. Forgiveness isn’t as light as it sounds.”

“When doctors become guardians, they too are merely impotent humans.”

“A genuine meeting can change a person. The person I am with right now could change my life. That’s why a person can be both hope and despair”

 “I had once dreamt of revenge — killing everyone and myself. But there is such a thing as karmic justice, and at the center of that is not me, but the world.”

My fave OSTs:

No Way by Park Yongin  and Kwon Soonil of Urban Zakapa

It’s Love by Jung Yup

Sunflower by Younha

That’s the way it is by Se O

More of my reflection:

 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/173628552981/what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger

It was one heck of a roller coaster ride, right? I think it’s safe to say that my 2017 k drama journey was lit af! Now I’m looking forward for more!

 X,

TinaMae

[the-beautiful-1]

3 Chains O’ Gold

Released August 16, 1994

If you haven’t seen 3 Chains O Gold, I’m going to need you to seek it out immediately because it is one of Prince’s most glorious accomplishments. Released in 1994, it expands on the Love Symbol album and attempts to give us Mayte’s back story, I guess? Either way it’s a real treat, so lets get right to my attempt to break down what’s going in this beautiful mess.

Opening Credits First of all, I wanted to make this not too terribly long and include only events relevant to the plot, but it’s worth noting that the “Warner Reprise Video” is arguably the MOST DATED LOGO IN HISTORY. If this doesn’t scream 1994 at you, I guess you weren’t alive then. If anyone from the future is like “what were the 90s like?” just show them this 10 second clip.

We open with the credits over several clips of what I’m confident is a show on the Paisley Park soundstage, with Prince in a glorious halter top backless jumpsuit, but that’s not important right now - we cut to Princess Mayte in Egypt doing her thing, which I guess is skinny dipping with four nameless women who call her Mai Tai? Either way, full nudity right out of the gate, interspersed with clips of who we find out is her father being stabbed. She holds him as he dies of one stab wound, which I guess you would if no doctor was called. Oh well, dead forever, so she grabs her title 3 Chains O Gold from a vault and we go from Cairo, Egypt, to Minneapolis, Minnesota! Unclear where Mayte is now staying, but it appears to be a small barren room with only candles and a small tv, which is playing Kirstie Alley reporting on a riot in the same alley where conveniently half of Graffiti Bridge takes place.

My Name is Prince The chain hat is here! As is an extended rap from Tony M, while Prince dances atop several cars in an inexplicably damp alley. He’s so stompy! Mayte has apparently seen this on the news and made her way through the crowd to hand him a bedazzled VHS case containing what is revealed to be the actual tape of her performance on That’s Incredible AS AN 8 YEAR OLD. This is problematic at best, but he’s interrupted by Tony M’s insistence that they have a car party to attend to.

Sexy MF The car party turns out to be the members of the NPG playing cards in the smoke filled garage of Paisley Park, and their involvement is that Prince shows up, demands 3 women leave with himself, Tony M and Kirky J, and then ridicules the rest of his band for a little bit. Kind of an asshole, but also… have you seen him in this?? Looking like a real snack. Forgiven. Moving on. My favorite thing about all Prince stories is that it’s like, Prince wants the girl, Prince gets the girl, and this is no different. Prince and his gold gun microphone want Troy Beyer in her pearl cage dress (can you call that a dress?) as they make out in various hotel hallways.  They go to the movies and make out for a bit and engage in some heavy petting, but Troy knows something is up and that there’s someone else (spoiler alert, it’s Mayte), and he responds with a very intent Purple Rain-esque moody stare.

Love 2 the 9s Mayte gets a card slipped under her hotel room door with audition times for the NPG, so I guess Love 2 the 9s is her audition?? But wait, some of the NPG guys are in jail slash Prince’s office at Paisley. This is like… the Hard Times, if the Hard Times had a budget? Anyway it would appear that the audition is a photoshoot, with Prince in the highest of high waisted red pants and an open lace bolero top. Again, he looks DECADENT. I digress. Tony M proceeds to interview Mayte with some inane questions, until she is is finally permitted to make the booty boom. Thank god. Sidebar: her makeup!!!!! So perfectly 90s, complete with a brown lip and thin eyebrows. Perfection.

Morning Papers Cut to the zoo! Why?? I DON’T KNOW. Here’s P and Mayte walking through the zoo hand in hand, being real sweet paired with a song that makes the whole thing problematic, but again, choosing to overlook the whole “why is age more than a number” with a shot of Mayte riding on a carousel. YIKES. Cut to Paisley Park where P is dressed in white pants, white heels, a floor length white trench coat, and a SLEEVELESS PLAID FLANNEL SHIRT unbuttoned all the way down to his waist. This is a GOOD. LOOK. Someone has been working out, and he is eager to show it off. Ugh back to the carousel for some kind of trippy sequence involving Mayte whispering into a mirror in a Blossom hat.

The Max Dramatic cut to footage of what I’m pretty sure is one of the 1993 Radio City Music Hall shows from the Love Symbol tour mixed with some backstage footage and whatever was shot at Paisley. Prince’s ability to create euphamisms and use them like literally anyone else in the world would ever even bother never fails to amuse me. He’d like to “shuffle the cards in that stack!” …. okay. Before or after you drive me/us/Mayte to Tennessee? Anyway I guess this is to show she did indeed get the job? Here’s a picture from one of the Radio City shows because one I can’t get a good screen cap, and two it’s important for.... reasons.

Blue Light I’m not sure whose bedroom we are in, but Prince is sitting there I guess waiting for Kirstie Alley to call so he can hang up on her. You can tell this video was shot later than most of the other footage as his typhoon is really out of control here and reached peak mushroom, but it’s fine since it’s mostly face close ups of him and Mayte as they roll around on a bed while she rejects his advances. Girl. Get your shit together. Also he’s wearing light pink silk pajamas. Or it could just be a regular suit he wears on stage, jury still out, either way it looks comfy af and I’d like one.

I Wanna Melt With U Aw man. Mayte falls asleep, while Prince packs a suitcase with all his essentials for a tour (chains, a chain hat, and one shirt) and sneaks out. This is my favorite thing, omg. So Mayte has fallen into a fitful sleep and is currently having a sexual nightmare about her flirtatious encounter with P that involves a lot of naked ladies distorted in funhouse mirrors and Prince wearing maybe boxer shorts?? Umbros??, a black and white vertical striped robe, and ROLLER SKATES. Not only roller skates, but knee pads as well because even when you are haunting someones dreams in a sexual way, safety first. Oh also flashbacks to dad. There is SO MUCH GOING ON HERE, my god. I would pay good money to be haunted by Prince on roller skates and safety pads in my dreams, I tell you what.

Sweet Baby Mayte wakes up from her nightmare to realize P has left her with a note that says only “Sweet baby don’t cry.” Wait I thought she was in the band, but he went on tour without her? From Minneapolis, to Japan, by train? Unclear. Anyway she packs her bags and stands despondent, weeping on some train tracks for the duration of the song until she hops on a plane back to Egypt to be a princess again.

The Continental Prince arrives by train in Tokyo, where he is visibly distraught and his band starts talking shit about him as they have a pre-show gambling sesh? The Ghost of Mayte shows up to haunt him during soundcheck where he is again very Purple Rain levels of pensive and moody, but NOT IN THE SHOW! The Continental is 3 Chain’s O Gold’s Darling Nikki - overtly sexual, many thrusts incorporated into the dancing, lots of face touching with finger flutters, proving he doesn’t require his main love interests attention, he can get it from anyone anywhere, and they’ll thank him for it. Ok so here we have two seemingly concurrent events happening I think? One is Mayte dancing in Egypt, while Prince gets some in his chain hat. This is legit a porn at this point, wait why does he have a sword??? Anyway so again with the making out and the heavy petting, but right as it gets started, Mayte has been overcome with… I don’t know, but she collapses, and Prince is simultaneously unable to perform sexually. I think to show they are spiritually connected??? Do I GET Prince’s visions now?????? I am so proud.

Damn U Back in Egypt, an old man tells Mayte she looks like a girl he used to bang. Okay. Prince has returned to Paisley Park where he is performing a one man show for a dinner party in the sound stage, I think. Again, a real treat. Black jumpsuit with a white collared shirt & white tie, yes this is a good look. Oh Tommy Barbarella must have gone on a cruise to the Bahamas on the way back, he has some hair wraps and braids now. Ugh that baritone. Damn U, damn me, this song is so good. Here’s a screen shot that could double as his Bar Mitvah photo.

Mayte has received a letter!! It’s the lyrics to Damn U. Her reaction is to go to her dress maker to get a fancy coin dress, and then hop on the next flight to LA, where they will be shooting the 7 music video, but not before there is a 5 minute segment with members of the NPG talking shit about Mayte. No, really. First up is Tony M and his date, who is Mayte? Where did she come from, what did she do? The rest of the NPG is in the gym, also talking shit about her??!! WHY IS THIS INCLUDED. I guess to show he loves her in spite of his entire band hating her? Michael Bland wants to know “What is her purpose, what does she do?” Honestly. What is this doing here. And it goes on for SO LONG!!!

7 Maybe my favorite Prince music video??? So we see past versions of Prince trapped in a time traveling cryogenic tube… The Continental yellow suit is here, the chain hat, the Morning Papers Sleeveless Grunge Shirt, some insane bolero top with a cowboy hat that unfortunately is not seen in its full glory.. each of them is electrocuted to show that he has no past, he has sown all his oats and he is ready to be faithful to Mayte and maybe now she will reciprocate his sexual advances. Also there are seven pairs of TINY CHILDREN PRINCE AND MAYTES WIELDING SWORDS AND COIN DRESSES IT IS VERY ADORABLE!!!! God he’s so intense. Oh and the “one day all 7 will die” is in reference to the 7 men that killed her father, whom he has casually assassinated by his bodyguards as he and Mayte waltz off into the sunset/another smoke filled room at Paisley Park.

End Credits Mayte calls Kirstie Alley to finally grant her long sought after interview with him, which was clearly written by him. Most of her responses are “oh.” I think this is the letter he wrote as her as his press release for why he changed his name? Again, UNCLEAR. Anyway, we’re left with shots of Prince making some kind of business deal in a smoky conference room, and then he ends up signing a contract written in Japanese with the Love Symbol. Dramatic cut to a cemetery, where we see a shallow grave containing the chain hat and the 3 chains o gold.

THAT’S IT! That’s all! Really! Any questions? I HAVE SEVERAL.

[dystovian]

Could you do a lance and s/o where he dreams about being with his family but only wakes up to find out that he's still away and is comforted by s/o? Thanks so much!!

Summary: Lance dreams of home and of the night he left for the garrison, only to wake up and find himself comforted by you.

Warning: Being separated from family, nightmare, fluff

A/N: here u go pal!!! I wish I could’ve edited it more but sadly I couldn’t! Pls do enjoy tho!

Laughter erupted from different areas of the welcoming home, wrapping gently around the birthday boy’s ears, when he grinned with pure happiness. A feeling in his chest circling throughout the rest of him, he’s felt this way every year to this very day because of the comforting embrace of his family. He was so happy, almost too happy as this was meant to be a sad day for him, despite it being his birthday. Seeing his family and a few friends smiling and conversing as though nothing bad were to happen made him feel weird, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that feeling, for it would reside in him for years to come.

Eventually, most of his family would leave to go home, and he’d finish packing suitcases filled with valuables and his clothing. And as soon as the clock struck midnight his father would drive him to a train station and bid him good luck with an, albeit sloppy, comforting kiss to the cheek and rough pat to the back that would send Lance reeling with emotions for as long as he lived. With that pat to the back a feeling of loneliness would manifest within his chest like a cavity, headaches would come often as his head filled with deafening thoughts that cramped between his brain and skull, poking and prodding as his heartstrings.

But he was here now and that’s all that mattered, he vowed to himself to make the best of this night with a stare at his tired face in the bathroom mirror. A freshly cleaned one at that. His father’s favorite recliner encased him with the emotion of love, pure and absolute, any other day his father would force him out of it but tonight was a night of occasion. A birthday, a day where you get just about everything you wish for, which wasn’t exactly what he felt was happening but it’s the best he could get. When a third of his family burst with cheers he almost began to regret wanting to go to the Garrison.

He heard the familiar shout from his mother, that the cake had arrived and as he turned his head he was shocked to see his best friend Hunk there, with more boxes than needed that were no doubt filled with sweets from his mother’s bakery. Lance’s mother gave Hunk a quick kiss to the cheek before bringing the cake to the kitchen to get the candles prepared. Hunk took off his soaked coat, peeling a glove off and placing a blue envelope into a small basket, only adding onto the ever-growing pile of letters, piling up just like his family as they made their way to the boy to welcome him here. Hunk seemed perfect, he seemed excited and happy for this party but inside his feelings mirrored that of Lance’s, I mean, who’d want to leave their family for years?

The effort being put into their shouts at the large tv screen was soon put into a chorus of happy birthday’s that overwhelmed Lance. The smell of the candles blowing back into his face from the ceiling fan was comforting despite his eyes growing watery from the smoke. Cheers and claps came to everybody’s ears, camera flashes being heard from just about every part of the room as they tried desperately to get a picture of their boy. Blurry or not.

His mother came to his side, bending over slightly to place a kiss upon his head and murmur, “I love you.” His heart began to snap, he couldn’t bare to think about losing his mother for however long he’d be gone, he couldn’t bare to lose anybody and it’s hard to get back home from the Garrison. Something was bound to happen while Lance was gone. He had this fear where if anything even remotely good happened to him karma would land upon the surface of the Earth with great trembling earthquakes, and cause terrible destruction.

He watched arms and hands of different tones reach across the table with containers, plates, and bowls of food to be passed to another hungry family member. Lance pointed at a cousin of his, laughing intertwining with shouting as they struggled to swallow a large piece of steak, tears of laughter came to their eyes. This feeling was impeccable, really, it covered just about every millimeter of his nerves and muscle and made him feel terribly warm.

It was raining, an act of Mother Nature that he loved so very dearly, but yet he’d never be able to hear the pitter patter of the rain again and be calm for it’d remind him of this day forever. He’d grow to love the rain in due time once more but that’ll never prevent his brain from grasping at this memory and shoving it forcefully to the front. It’ll never go away and he’d have to live with that.

Perhaps he was overreacting, perhaps he was being dramatic. But his family is all that’s left to him that gives him true unconditional love, and doesn’t meaningly compare him to others as his other no life blank faced kids and teachers do. He’d be leaving the home he’s been in most of his life, the same home where he broke his arm and both of his legs in the span of five years, the same home he brought home his first girlfriend and they disliked her so much that he and her had to eat outside to get away from the glares. Those same glares proved to be right as she had cheated on him days before.

The pain he felt when he found out about that was minuscule compared to the broken sob he let out as his mother kissed him goodbye. The pain he felt when he broke all those bones was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the feeling that erupted inside a vessel of his heart as his father sat with him in the car yet said nothing. The silence that filled the car like suffocating water below sea level was so uncomfortable that Lance almost grew sick. He wanted to throw up then and there but he didn’t want his father to think less of him, to think he can’t commit or to think he’s afraid.

But he is, he is so very afraid of just about everything to come. He’s afraid of coming back home to faces filled to the brim with faultless calamity as he couldn’t seem to make them proud enough to welcome him back with the same laughter and smiles as the night of his birthday. He’s afraid of messing up even in the slightest although messing up is apart of life, one slip up and whatever entity that controls the puppetry of the Earth will come down and use a labeling machine to slap a big fat ‘Failure’ on his back, one that he’d never be able to peel off unless he’d want to peel back every layer of compassion he built up over the years.

Every traffic light they passed by grasped at the front of the hood and pulled them steadily to their destination, the car door vibrating against his elbow with every deep bass of the song that played from the speakers. He didn’t realize he began to cry until he tasted salt by the corner of his mouth, Lance’s throat felt tight and began to ache and so did his heart as all he could do was cry in the passenger seat of his father’s Cadillac that he no doubt wouldn’t see for very long. He leaned forward, hands cradling his head in attempts to scare off the oncoming headache for it did nothing but provide him with an aching muscle-wrenching pain.

“Lance.” His father mumbled, and Lance heard him but he struggled to keep his tears hidden behind his usual facade. After a chorus of his name spewed from his father’s mouth Lance forced his body to push itself back up, though he could never force his eyes in the direction of his father’s as he knew he’d contract into a ball once again. He didn’t realize the car had stopped until he heard the familiar beeping to warn of someone’s seatbelt being unbuckled, his father had gotten out of the car and shut the door, but he didn’t go around the other side to retrieve his son from the passenger seat but got straight to the point of releasing his suitcases from the trunk and backseat.

“Come on, help a guy out.” He heard through the thick glass of his father’s car, in small intervals he inhaled the most of the encouraging air he could and left the vehicle, grasping at the roller’s handles and forcing the remaining tears from his eyes, as none would come again. Thoughts flooded his mind as they made it to the walkway and sat on the painfully cold steel bench, waiting for the train that would take him to the airport. He thought of leaning into his father and giving him none other than a bone crushing hug, but what was the point if his father failed to return one back to him?

It’s not that his father hated him, or was glad he was leaving, no no no. The complete opposite at that. His father raised him to be the person he is today and his father placed every fiber of rarity into his son in hopes that his son would grow to be better than him. In hopes his son would reach heights no one else in his family was able to achieve. He refused to hug back because if he did, as soon as his finger touched the fabric of his old jacket that remained wrapped around his son he knew that he’d snatch him away and take him back to their home.

Lance and his father boarded the train together to the airport and as soon as he felt it stop he could feel his walls crumble like sand castles during high tide. As soon as Lance were to board his flight his father sent a hand clapping to his back and as much as it send a jolt through Lance he couldn’t help but feel at home again. Maybe Lance would feel okay, maybe another clap to his back at the Garrison would make him feel at home as well. And maybe, the jacket that gave him warmth on cold summer nights would make him feel loved some more.

And with a last look out of the plane window Lance sighed with the strength of a billion beating hearts and closed his eyes, a tear slipping away into the soft blue carpet of the planes floor. Turbulence came and now he was back in that castle. You rubbing his back as he lay on his stomach audibly sobbing still, tears passed your eyes eyelashes and it broke Lances heart. Perhaps the love his father’s jacket gave him has disappeared but the one you gave him was impeccable and indubitably was like the cool refreshing summer winds that wrapped around him during his last months with his family. Like the laughter that provided warmth to his heart and ears.

[nicolelelelelele]

get to know meme...?

thanks @fluorescenthoodie and @literal-treasure too tbh i hope u enjoy reading about lil ol’ me 🤗

1. Are you named after anyone?

lol ok so my middle name is Indy-Rose. my dad is a huge fan of indy car racing so that’s p much where that half came from 🙄 and my mom’s name is Rosa, so ye 🥀💜

2. When was the last time you cried?

last night lmao i don’t often go more than a day without pouring water out of my eyes

3. Do you like your handwriting?

i have a lot of different versions of my handwriting, and each one is p much trying to emulate some other persons handwriting that i’ve liked, sooo i guess i love everyone’s but my own?

4. What’s your favorite lunch meat?

yo i used to fucking love turkey sandwiches with doritos in them to give that extra CRONCH. i miss that tbh

5. Do you have kids?

yes. their names are leo, cappie, tilly, and mocha. i guess teeechnically only 2 children and 2 grandchildren, since tilly birthed the first two at the ripe age of 1. currently i’ve only got custody of my most recent child, mocha, while my mother has custody of the other three. 🐈

6. If you were a different person, would you be friends with you?

like if i was a 3rd person? ima guess that’s what this question is asking... uhh probably? as much as i hate myself on a deep and unhealthy level, i also think i’m fucking fantastic and would be amazing to hang out with on the daily

7. Do you use sarcasm?

ima be honest here, i’ve tried to tone it down it recent years because in high school i was an overly sarcastic ASSHOLE so like these days i try to be pretty straight up so people don’t get the wrong impression about what i’m tryna say

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

yup, i thankfully don’t snore or have any issues w them so i like them where they are. i have plenty other reasons to sit at home for two weeks eating ice cream.

9. Would you bungee jump?

nop. do not like. roller coasters? yes. free fallin’? no.

10. What’s your favorite cereal?

if i had the money it’d be just a really plain cereal like rice chex or something but i’d put fresh strawberries and blueberries in it every day.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

i will always find a way to be the laziest version of myself, so no.

12. Do you think you’re a strong person?

i bench like 250 and can lift my own body off the ground for minutes at a time. 🏋🏽‍♀️ (i’m weak as fuck in just about every category, but will still manage to to drag you to hell in one way or another if u fuck w me or someone i care about)

13. What’s your favorite ice cream?

probs vanilla which is p ironic haha

14. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

depends on the person i guess? i can’t really pinpoint one thing, i think it’s probably just like their most defining personality trait? i basically always just notice what makes them ~them~ and that really sticks with me

15. What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself?

the hair on my arms. thanks kid from junior high for pointing that out and making me forever self conscious about it! you know who you are 🙃

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now?

dark blue jeans and white old skools

17. What are you listening to right now?

miss you by mura masa

18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

IS THAT A WEEEED?

no it’s a crayo-

IM CALLING THE POLICE!

anyway yeah like a minty blueish green or maroon idk they’re both my fave colors tbh

19. Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?

my fucking homie at our local taco truck what a hero 💯

20. Favorite sport to watch?

once upon a time it was baseball i guess but thanks to my s.o. i am now a slut for basketball

21. Hair color?

not the color that i want it to be

22. Eye color?

~hazel~ aka it seems to depend on what colors i’m wearing on any given day lol

23. Do you wear contacts?

nah fam

24. Favorite food?

either enchiladas or pupusas or pickles they’re p much all tied for first

25. Scary movie, or comedy?

i used to really like scary movies but i think the realities of life scare me enough on a daily basis that i should probs just stick to comedy and try to laugh away my sorrows.

26. Last movie you watched?

this is a Very Good Question™ to which i do not know the answer. ask me again this weekend and the answer will be Ladybird (saoirse please mother my children)

27. What color shirt are you wearing?

white. and it has emojis on it. it’s from a festival i went to ok i’m not totally a walking meme

28. Summer or winter?

i love winter because it ideally has all of my favorite things like snow and pretty lights and cozy sweaters and christmas and my birthday and all of those things are 10/10 but on the other hand... summer in the city means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage...

29. Hugs or kisses?

hugs for everyone, kisses for the right person

30. Book you’re currently reading?

i’m really bad at sitting down and reading books so i’ll just answer with the most recent book i’ve purchased: Waves Passing in the Night by Lawrence Weschler. it’s about the sound designer Walter Murch and astrophysics and a bunch of other cool shit idk i still need to read it!

31. Who do you miss right now?

my mom

32. What’s on your mousepad?

zwei’s booty

33. What’s the last TV program you watched?

The Bold Type. #kadena owns my ass

34. What’s the best sound?

😏 but also the little chirp cats make when they see a birb outside a window

35. Rolling Stones or the Beatles?

for some reason i never realized that twist and shout was by the beatles and i FUCKING LOVE that song so i guess that’s that?

36. What’s the furthest you’ve ever travelled?

lemme just give you a glimpse into my devastatingly lacking travel history: raised in cali, visited vegas twice before the age of 9, now living in new york. that’s it. going somewhere? take me with you p l e a s e

37. Do you have any special talent?

i can tie a cherry stem with my tongue 😉 also i sometimes think i can sing so check out my latest sad cover over at soundcloud.com/nicolelelelele/youth and cry with me!

38. Where were you born?

the place that *contains* the happiest place on earth but definitely *isn’t* the happiest place on earth: anaheim, california

@onehundredsevendays ur the only one i can think to tag in this rn so hop on bud

[meitanteimary]

You know, I have to talk some of Shinichi's biggest flaws. Don't get me wrong, I love him and I've noticed some subtle character development on his end, but I like to get your opinion on his flaws. One, always putting his loved ones on the sidelines even though it may do more harm than good. Two, risking his safety to confess his love to Ran. Three, thinking he's clever enough to take down the BO on his own with little help. Thoughts?

Shinichi Kudo is a very complex character but a lot of people tend to underestimate his complexity. I could write essays about Shinichi but right now let’s analyze the three points you mentioned:

“Always putting his loved ones on the sidelines even though it may do more harm than good” What I think is that he does it because he knows he fucked up. Ran used to tell him costantly ‘if you keep sticking your nose everywhere like that you’ll end up in trouble’ but he didn’t listen to her and hello Conan. But I think that after that night at Tropical Land he realised something: what if Ran followed him? Shinichi knows that Ran is really smart and that she had already sensed that something was wrong. That night she was shaken by the roller coaster homicide so she wasn’t lucid and probably she just wanted to go home. But what if she was lucid and followed Shinichi, and what if Gin hit her and she died? It would’ve been Shinichi’s fault. And he knows that. He knows the job he chose is very dangerous and trust me, that ‘harm’ your talking about to Shinichi is better that being actually hurt or even killed because of him. There’s this quote that somehow applies to this situation: “All this time, i’ve been breaking her heart by keeping her wait yet i can’t still appear before her eyes. I never want to see her cry anymore. Even if it means i no longer exist in her heart. How immature of me, right?”Shinichi would rather suffer himself than to let someone else suffer. It’s just his character. He knows that protecting other people means sacrifice and means those people will hate him, but trust me, he’s not stupid. He wouldn’t let someone he loves suffer just because he wants to play the hero. Yes, sometimes he doesn’t realise he’s doing more harm than good, but for God’s sake he’s 17, he doesn’t know shit and he’s just desperately trying to do the right thing. He fucked up and he’s trying to fix his mistakes without anyone involved because he knows he’s the one who fucked up and he doesn’t want other people involved because they could get seriously hurt because of him.

“Risking his safety to confess his love to Ran”Yes, this is stupid. It’s stupid because he knows it’s very risky and that it’s a very reckless thing to do. But he’s fucking 17. He’s already going through so much shit for his age. He wants to protect Ran, but during the London Acr he realised that if he wasn’t gonna do something very quickly he would’ve lost her forever. He was reckless, stupid, Haibara probably thought ‘wtf Shinichi y r u like dis’, but for once, just once, he said fuck you to everything and he confessed his feelings. And he risked a lot, yes, but sometimes this poor guy just needs a break. That’s why he insisted so much to go to Tokyo with his high school mates. He just needs to return to his normal life sometimes. 

“Thinking he’s clever enough to take down the BO on his own with little help”You know what I think? I think he’s changed his mind. At the beginning, we see him like ‘I’m gonna fuck these guys up myself because I’m the best detective ever and I can do it!’. But during the chapters, I think he slowly realises he can’t do it alone. So he accepts the help he’s given from a lot of other people. First Haibara, then Heiji, Shuichi/Subaru, Furuya/Amuro. I think he realised having these people, who are also fighting the Organization, by his side could really help him. So right now, he’s not fighting the BO alone. I think he realised that he had underrated the situation at first, so he teamed up with these people and one day, who knows?, maybe they’ll all win.

Was this too long? I hope not. I just took the chance to analyse some things about Shincihi! In conclusion, Shinichi has flaws, no one can deny that, but I think that those many flaws are the thing that make him the complex and big character we all love! And I think he’s become really mature for a 17-year-old dork. Like, do you know how is it to be 17? Life’s fucked up. So yeah, kudos to Shinichi (ahahah did you get that lmao kudos shinichi kudo ahah it was a pun ahahah kill me pls) because his flaws make him a very interesting character!

[kunfayakun91]

What is love?

We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime — Each One for a Specific Reason.

It’s been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime. Yet, it’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason.

Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairy tales we read as children. This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be. 

Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel. 

It’s a love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation. We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before. Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this story-line, because it’s the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high. 

With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it. This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are. We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core. It isn’t what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn’t have to be how we thought in order to be true.

This is the love that keeps knocking on our door regardless of how long it takes us to answer.

It’s the love that just feels right.

Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is. Possibly we need a whole lifetime to learn each lesson, or maybe, if we’re lucky, it only takes a few years. Perhaps it’s not about if we are ever ready for love, but if love is ready for us.

And then there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath. Those faded and worn pictures of our grandparents who seemed just as in love as they walked hand-in-hand at age 80 as they did in their wedding picture—the kind that leaves us wondering if we really know how to love at all.

Someone once told me they are the lucky ones, and perhaps they are. But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are also the lucky ones. They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love. But there’s not; it’s just a matter of if their partner loves in the same way they do or not.

Just because it has never worked out before doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now. What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love. The one that feels like home without any rationale; the love that isn’t like a storm—but rather the quiet peace of the night after.

And maybe there’s something special about our first love, and something heart-breaking-ly unique about our second…but there’s also just something pretty amazing about our third.

The one we never see coming. The one that actually lasts. The one that shows us why it never worked out before.

And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love. Some people will spend the whole life to find the last person although.

- Source: Internet

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Recently I found “someone”. The very weird one that are so different compared to any of other girls I knew before. I do not know why but this “someOne” is just make me feel like I have found my missing piece since then. I once thought that I will never find someone that make me think of the fUture until I found this “someone”. There must be bunch of reasons that make me feel that way but I just cannot list that out. I just know it. I just know that this is the first time I start to think of building up a future with “someone”, allow me to think of a home with beautiful kids or make me feel 100% focused on my career. This is the first time that life seems to be little easier for me since everything seems to be well fit naturally to each others. It has been long since I can sleep well wIthout waking up half way at night. It has been forever since I last watch a cartoon till end. I also never thought I can keep a habit of drinking something for health. I am just simply listening tO her like I am her little boy. :) 

Anyway, I do not know by how but I miss you Very much right now, I miss you little more every single day. There is nothing else I could say but I just simply miss you, ML. In French, people normally do not say “I miss you”. Instead, they say “tu me manques”, which means, “You are missing frOm me” and I really love that. 

I will wait. I will wait for the day I gEt to kiss your sweet lips. I will wait for the day our distance get closer and we will come together. I wilL wait for you to grow up to become a fine lady and then marry me, and together we build our own homes with beautiful kids. I will wait patiently because I know it will be well worth every second. 

And... she told me I am her unique treasure and she will alwaYs be my side through gOod and bad times no matter what happens. I know I am so much in love with her righT now, dear my third. 

What if I tell you that “I LOVE YOU” now, what will you reply to me? The answer lies within.

[stardustandheart]

MEET THE ARTIST

welcome to my mind. whatever/whomever brought you here, i’m so glad that you are.

my name is jamileth. it comes from the arabic name ‘Jamil’ (جميل) which translates to ‘beautiful.’

fitting.

fitting for my soul and who i am. over the last year, i have truly embraced my name and learned to treasure it and just love the word. it happens to be a great conversation starter. my mama gifted me the name & got the idea from one of her close friends at the time. thank u mami.

if you don’t know me quite too well yet, i am a CRAZY, bubbly person who gets kind of way too low-key/high-key excited about life (it doesn’t take much) and who is excited to share her thoughts with you. i live for vibrancy, laughter, good & positive energy, craziness, silliness, and love above all. i live for moments that are so beautiful that they cannot even be described in words. i live for star gazing, sunrises, and sunsets that leave you in awe. i live for midnight snacks, 3am fast food runs, and all-night talks. i live for dancing in the rain and dancing in the club- that ultra-freedom high that you feel when those lights hit- and those shots you just took. yeah, issa whole vibe. it gives me life for sure. lastly i live for authenticity. in this universe simply just trying to understand itself, we have to remember that we are just tiny, even-smaller-than-microscopic specs. this lifetime is so short that it’s almost hysterical. it’s a joke. it’s really way too short to not order the fries on the side or that milkshake you really want. just get it. do it. life is just too short.

contrary to my name’s origin, i am not arabic (even though it seems as if my name has magically made me match that ethnicity & i get told that i look arabic on the daily.. genealogy test in the works; i’ll get back to you on that). i was actually born in chone, ecuador. it’s a small town on the coast. (if u don’t already know, the most beautiful women are born here ;). i moved to springfield, oregon at the age of 5 and was raised there until age 17, when we spontaneously packed our bags and relocated to fort myers, florida. yeah, pretty cool right. my parents are pretty cool this way. florida is the place that i call home, as it is also the place where i met the love of my life. i also got to live in louisville, kentucky briefly, just shy of a year. and now, i currently reside in queens, new york. i really have fallen in love with this place. while i won’t live here forever, it is yet another chapter of my life. another place to create moments & memories. another place to learn about myself. another place to improve and reinvent. it has all been a beautiful process.

so what do i do besides write? i fly for roughly 100 hours a month (on average) in pressurized metal tubes of course! not only is my life a literal dream (its a whole vibe)--but it also pays the bills.

since my first flight ever at the little age of 5, i knew i wanted to be a flight attendant and future pilot-then-astronaut so i did just that. that’s why i live here in new york for now. currently i have been a flight attendant for a major u.s. commercial airline for about 2 years and am in the process of becoming a pilot. just because i already know what you’re thinking, my favorite place ever is paris. becauseee… paris. duh. if you haven’t been, drop everything and just go. i promise that you won’t regret it.

i also happen to speak spanish, & a little french. up until now, this job has opened my eyes to humanity, simply put. just when i think i’ve seen it all, people from all over this planet, from all walks of life, never cease to amaze me. people really do surprise me in all sorts and types of ways. the good, the bad, the beautiful and ugly, & everything in between of all that.

i am a proud latina, (never forget where you came from- it is part of who you are. blood baby- own that shit). i love singing/music, seeing this beautiful planet we’re on, writing, dancing, running, going to the beach, going for walks, spending time with my boo/family/other loved ones, roller coasters, horror movies, halloween, fries, ice cream, cookies, & laughing. (just to name a few). oh! i’m also writing a book. stay tuned for that.

i really am glad that you’re here. i mean it when i say that i hope that i can move you, and also make you smile with what i have to say.

and as i always love to say- you are unforgettable. don’t forget it.

XOXO- jami

[surveysonfleek]

328.

A! Do you drink Alcohol frequently? nah. maybe a couple times a month. What Age are you? 26. Do you like Apples? yeah even though i hardly eat them. Do you believe in Aliens? i believe there’s more life out there i guess. Who is your favourite Actor/Actress? i don’t really have one.

B! Do you like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air? yes.

Were you ever scared about getting Bats stuck in your hair? um no? can they get stuck? Are you always the Banker when you play Monopoly? nah. i like being banker though. Do you like going to the Beach? sometimes. Who do you think is the most Beautiful person in the world? rihanna. C! Do you like Cats? no. Are you Charismatic? not really lol. Do you like laying down to look at the Clouds? haven’t done it in years. Are you a pro at Checkers? no. Has someone ever called you Cheap? yeah probably. D! Are you more of a Dog person? definitely. Do you like Disney films? yes! Do you still Decorate the house for holidays? my mum does. Do you have a Dressing gown? no. Do you think Dinosaurs are awesome? they’re cool. E! Have you ever ran up the down Escalator? Or ran down the up one? yeah, as a kid. only on the ramp ones. What did you Eat last? pumpkin. What’s the most Expensive gift you’ve ever received? a car. How do you like your Eggs? scrambled. Have you ever been so angry you thought you might Explode? nah. F! Would you ever want to be Famous? no. i wanted to be a celebrity when i was a kid. luckily didn’t happen. Do you think you’re Funny? hell yeah. Are Flashing lights fun? they’re okay... When was the last time you Flew in a plane? in april. Has a Folding chair ever un-folded and squished you while you were on it? nope. G! Did you ever wear Glasses, even though you didn`t need them? as a kid i wished and wished for glasses, so much so that i even lied during my eye tests. optometrist caught onto my bs. now i wear glasses and it sucks. Have you ever eaten Glue? not eaten but i’ve licked it. Do you Give to charity? yeah but i had to cancel coz it was too expensive and i couldn’t lower it.

Do you think Goats are cute? kinda. H! When was the last time you High-fived someone? i forgot. Do you dye your Hair? not in forever.

Are you Happy with your life? yeah but it could be better. When was the last time someone physically Hurt you? idk. Do you always wear a Helmet when you go cycling? i never go cycling anymore. the last time i did i didn’t wear a helmet though. I! What’s your favourite flavour of Ice-cream? cookie dough. Could you ever live in an Igloo? hmm probably not. Do you know what an Icoceles triangle is? yes. What’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen? i love observation decks and seeing the view of different cities day or night. Do Insects freak you out? yes. J! When was the last time you completed a Jigsaw? ages ago. like a simple one. my sister and i bought a 500 piece and got over it. Do you like Jam? not really. Tell me a Joke! meh.

Are you Jealous of anyone? no.

K! Who was the last person you Kissed? my boyfriend. Do you have a nice Kitchen? it’s small but decent. Do you like Kiwi fruit? no. Do you find Knock-Knock jokes hilarious? no omg, who does other than children? Do you tend to Keep a bunch of stuff you really don’t need? yeah. L! Do you think walking under a Ladder is bad luck? nah. Have you ever been inside a Limo? nope. Do you really hate Losing? i don’t hate it, but i’d rather win. Do you like playing with Legos? as a kid. Do you think you have a cool Laugh? omg no lol. M! Did you collect Marbles as a kid? yes. Do you look in the Mirror a lot? when there’s one around, why not. Do you have a Moustache? no. Could you live without Music? probably not. Do you like going to Museums? yes, i love them. N! What’s your Name? d. Do you like your Neighbours? they’re all cool, we all keep to ourselves thankfully. Do you watch the News? not really. What`s your favourite Number? 7. O! Do Opposites really attract? yes and no. it’s all about chemistry. Would you hate working in an Office? i probably would. Are you Open-minded? yes. Do you think Olives are gross? yes, i hate them. it’s the one food i’ll never learn to love. P! When was the last time you made Pancakes? months ago. Are you wearing Pajamas? yes. Have you ever been to Paris? yes. Can you play the Piano? nah. Do you Pull the door that says Push or Push the door that says Pull often? hardly. Q! Are you a Quiet person? not really. Do you ask too many Questions when you first meet someone? nah. Are you a Quick learner? i’d like to think so. Did you know that Mythbusters proved that a Quack can echo? yeah i’ve heard that. Do you know anyone called Quentin? no. R! Do you smile everytime you see a Rainbow? i guess, or i’ll always point it out. Do you listen to the Radio all the time? in the car, yeah. Can you Roller-blade? i haven’t done it in year, but i probably can. Do you take a Rubber-duck in the bath with you? no. Can you Run fast? no. S! What makes you Scared? weird noises. Don’t you think Sellotape is cool? no. Do you get Sick a lot? no, i probably only get the flu once a year. Do you still own a Slinky? no. T! Did you like Thomas the Tank Engine when you were a kid? hmm not my fave but if it was on i’d watch it anyway. When was the last time you were in a Taxi? maybe a month ago. Are you Thirsty? no. Do you always remember to say Thank-you? yes. Do you take care of your Teeth? not enough tbh. U! Do you own an Umbrella? yes. Do you live Underneath anyone? no. Do you think hanging Upside-down is fun? haha yeah it used to be fun on monkey bars. Have you ever put water in a rubber-glove and pretended they were Udders? yes. Do you think you are Ugly? sometimes. V! Do you live in a Village? no. Do you have a cool Voice? no lol. What’s your Vice? smoking. Do you still own any old Video’s? yes. Do you think you could survive in the Victorian era? yeah of course, if that’s all i knew. i wouldn’t be able to since experiencing how i live now. W! Are you too Warm right now? no. Do you like Weetabix? no i hate them. Do you wear a Watch everyday? no, ever since my apple watch broke i don’t wear any. Are you cautious about your Weight? yes. Do you get Worried a lot? yes. X! Do you like to play the Xylophone? yes. Did you ever watch Xena: Warrior Princess? yes. Have you ever been X-Rayed? yes. Are you Xenophobic? idk what the fear is. Did you know that X is 10 in Roman Numerals? yes. Y! Do you like Yogurt? yeah but i never eat it. Was Yesterday better than today? yes. Do you like the colour Yellow? it’s okay. How are You? good. Do you Yell a lot? in a loud environment, yeah. Z! Do you think a horse painted to look like a Zebra is cool? i guess. Do you know your Zodiac sign? sagittarius. Do you take Zinc? no. Did you know that Steve Irwin said to run in Zigzags to escape a Croc? yes.