#I LOWKEY WISH I HAD GOOD PARENTS BUT THIS ISNT ABOUT ME

[claireandcrap]

some people really be out here saying "i hate my mom" with no good reson maye like one or two little things bother them and there like my mum is horrible she makes me eat good food" ok? and??? do you *want* cavities? i bet if you ate what you wanted all the time you would die :) "i hate my mum she only lets me have an hour of screentime and makes me do my homework" SO SHE CARES ABOUT YOUR MENTAL WELLBEING THEN?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?? im sick and tired of "uwu mommy issues uwu my mom hates me" :)

(this is not directed toward anyone irl cuz i know my friends might read this dont worry its not abt you)

[kewltie]

when i write something i tend to have a goal, or actually a specific moment or scene, i aim toward. for this specific scene in stepdad au i had this image of izuku surrounded by his sleeping children and talking about how he wants to protect his kids from becoming like their villainous sire so that they dont walk the same path as him. it was very clear in my head and i knew what i wanted but i have to build to get there.

i like nontraditional family unit as someone who grew up with both parents, divorced, and then raised by a single mother i have a lot of respect for the nontraditional family unit!! stepdad au is one of part of many of AUs that centered around that lol. i like that katsuki who literally been a bachelor most of his life suddenly stumbled his way into like a family and now he's juggling parenthood to these small tyrants and HE'S TRYING HIS BEST.

i think i talked about this before how im not a big fan of kidfics bc they dont really have much of personality and that they're more used as a tool to get the couple together rather their own char arc so for me it was really important that each of the numbers had a very distinct characteristics that you can pick them apart among the crowd. i wanted each kid bounce off e/o bc hey they're siblings should act like ones and have a storyline outside of bkdk's love story. so theres a lot of focus on the kids as much as bkdk's storyline bc izuku (and now katsuki also) world revolves around them. izuku put away his mate/husband to SAVE HIS KIDS!!

heroes comes in all shapes and sizes and not all heroes wear cape, ya know the quote but it's exactly what it is here. izuku's path didn't lead to ofa and becoming a hero but in his own way, even tho it seemingly small in the grand scheme of things, he put everything on the line to get his kids away from their villainous sire so they wont fall on the same dark path as him. he has no quirk and didnt have support from anyone for a long time but he planned this for many years just to finally put his husband away like idk that's fucking stone cold. izuku hid his true intentions and acted the part of the good spouse, the good omega, and kept producing kids and raising them for his mate but he was actually masterminding a plan to bring his husband down and escape with his kids like HE DID THAT!!! ON HIS OWN!!! how could ppl not admire that audacity, that fucking bravery????

even tho izuku did all that, he feels like it wasnt enough bc how long it took the plan to took shape like izuku didn't just come with this plan in a day and execute it within the same week or months. HE PLANNED THIS FOR YEARS AND YEARS and finally he got enough tools in his arsenal to pulled it off (evidences and waiting for his children to be old enough to carry it out). thats pretty badass but izuk doesnt see it that, its the duty of the parents to protect their kids and izuku think he's just doing what he must!!! but even then he wishes he didnt have to wait that long to carry them away from the abuse of their sires but for his plan to work he had to stay lowkey, underestimated, and the good spouse/omega so he had to watched his children suffered but he cant do much against it. it's a hard thing to watch and endure and izuku will always regret how he couldnt do much for them and i think even tho he managed to save his kids and put away his husband, it always live in him how he could HAVE DONE MORE (even tho unlikely). so when katsuki says something about thinking he's doing just fine in his eyes, it's someone ELSE not him that tell him hey, you're not such a terrible parent and izuku's guilt lessen just a lil.

izuku isnt the perfect parent but he's trying and katsuki definitely isnt made for parenting either but he's learning AND TOGETHER they're learning to be what the numbers need and this journey is what tied them together and fall in love even tho katsuki is like half way there already but god, izuku showing him that even with no quirks, izuku can do crazy shits for his children!!!!!!

[corruptedsilence]

I just finished watching the Puss in Boots the last wish and wow

no spoilers but: I agree with the reviews, it is really good, I’d watch it if you can. The animation is gorgeous and it really shows at least to me the animators and artists had fun with it. There’s so many dynamic shots and visuals that I was in awe for majority of the fight scenes spoilers below

Okay but like. I really liked it??? The movie itself didn’t feel as long as it did maybe because I was having a lot of fun with it and it is really interesting

i do like the idea of Death as a personification and holding a grudge to cats who are given 9 lives, the idea that a cat just frivolously living their 9 lives as if rubbing it in death’s face is really fun to me.

Legit the scene where Puss is having a panic attack in the woods game *me* anxiety because it lowkey just felt, really real. Like, I think they did a really good job showing what it is that a panic attack does to people, and how anxiety especially can just destroy someone’s life or hurt the people around them. I’m always going to be “meh” about the idea of ‘oh yeah the anxiety was cured by the end of the movie’ stuff because that’s not how deep seeded anxiety goes but it’s a kid’s movie and i cant exactly expect them to like go too deep into it already when i think they did a pretty good job expressing the anxiety throughout the movie already

because it is really good to have that looming threat, to have the character experience that anxiety throughout the film, not just once but that it follows them. No matter where they go, or who they’re with, the anxiety doesn’t just go away necessarily (except ya know the ending)

One thing I do love, and I’m almost *sad* that we couldnt’ get a movie or something about them; but Goldi and the three bears. This is purely self indulgent but rarely, and i mean RARELY do we get a storyline that revolves around orphans and adoption. We always get the “found family” and stuff but it never really goes into the idea of adopted kids and their struggles dealing with their adopted family. I legit love the representation as someone who has been adopted and has questioned my place in my family before.

I think, while it does seem trivial from an outsider perspective how “easy” the choice is for people to like “just stay with the people who raised you!”, it really isnt’ as simple as that. This might like, fall short on people who weren’t adopted or weren’t like experiencing that desire to “fit in”. Because we see through the movie that Goldi, in some ways, is reminded she isn’t a bear. Especially during the scene where they kidnap perrito and baby and her are fighting. When it’s pointed out “you aren’t [insert here]” it drives home the idea that yo udon’t belong. Which does hurt a lot more than you think. It’s stated a few times through the movie actually going back and looking the “shes not my sister” and stuff, it really does show that Goldi isn’t thinking of this from nothing, that a constant reminder like that may push her to think she doesnt belong and she isn’t one of them. Even with the support from mama and papa, it’s still a struggle especially since goldi is well hfewjk a human, and they’re bears

And kids, and adults like me, who have been adopted do have that fear that everything would be fine without you, because you don’t belong, because you “broke into” someone’s house and “took” their things. I really like this idea of goldi and the 3 bears because it does show how a lot of kids can feel like they had just invaded someone’s house and don’t belong and then end up stealing the other sibling’s (who might or might not be biological to the parents) things.

And while the ending I know rushes Goldi’s arch a bit I really do wish i could see more of them. Not like a whole movie, but I want them to be characters in future films, or maybe have a “to DVD” short movie or something about their lives cuz it’s also fun that they’re a crime family fhewjkhk and im just trying to think of like what they did before Goldi came along

If it isn’t obvious I did like the side story almost more than the main story since the main story felt pretty--- eh predictable? But I enjoyed more the way they showed the “realism” in the fear of death, and the anxiety someone might have over it. It might be the same predictable story, you know no one will get the wish, and they’ll learn to cherish the one life they have, blah blah blah but you don’t expect them to go into the character’s actual struggle with that fear. The song Death whistles and how it plays as a “trigger” for Puss gets his fur standing on edge, panicked, wide eyed, it does such a good job showing these small things that a lot of movies or shows wouldnt bother with.

I’d definitely recommend it, I didn’t go into it but it’s just fun? I really didnt’ care for big jack horner or whatever his name was cuz he was just played as the “im evil and irredeemable” but he plays the part well enough. He’s fun when he’s around and stuff so there is that. I enjoy the fact he’s just evil for evil sake but yeah I just was more roped in with the other people and just saw jack less as a threatening villain and more there for comedic villainy.

over all I hope dreamworks continues this way? Because this actually makes me more excited to see movies from them if they’re going to be this fun and this “real” and relatable however odd that might sound for a puss in boots movie lmao

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

key difference in the fanfic I’ve written in my head where only Light gets the swap is that 

Because Light is always a flaming homosexual 

She would actually fall in love with Misa.

Though ofc she’d be reluctant about it at first but would come to understand the depths of her feelings when Misa is confined, and that plays a role in why Light would do The Thing.

Rem might still threaten to do a murder but at the end of the day

No one fucks w/Light Yagami, and by extension, her ‘stuff’ (Misa).

(Obviously she’d still have problems humanizing other people, that’s just a core tenant of Light Yagami. In canon he even does it to himself by deifying himself, it’s kinda sad. Nobody is a person to him, not even himself. They’re all objects and you could probably link that back to his being so idolized and the percieved good he does in the world coming by way of his use.)

cus ofc Light would still be a suspect, L isnt that dumb and Light wouldn’t be stopped from killing Raye Penbar just because she has a uterus now. 

(I do want to note though that Light really does have some lowkey queer gender vibes to me in canon, so obviously this Light would have those too.) 

It would create more tension in the team tho, since them and Soichiro especially would have their ‘gotta protect womens (especially Chief’s Daughter)’ blinders on. Like can you imagine how those handcuffs would’ve gone if Light was a girl? Still cuffed to an older guy???? 

Going to bed with him?

A riot.

It’d be a riot. L would still get his way ofc, he’s good at doing that, but oh BOY would it require some measures.

ANYWAYS

I do think this Light would be a more vicious and even angrier one. By way of her sex being what it is, she would have had to fight and scrape and connive all the more the respect of her father, other law enforcement, to be seen as the genius (who is therefore better than them) she is - Naomi Misora style. 

The respect, authority, and autonomy that’s automatically given by way of being a guy in a patriarchy would be gone, and the expectations of her would be different therefore.

No doubt there’d probably still even be pressure for her to find a more fitting job than police detective, but I think she’d have won the respect of her father by the time the series starts. 

He’d probably still have the “I do wish you’d do something less dangerous” thing but by that time Light would have wormed her way in by solving cases under their noses enough times that they’d have no choice but to see her as a benefit.

I think being on the other side of that line would enable her to relate to Misa in a way canon Light is straight up too sexist to do. 

Without the Death Note’s influence, Light actually has genuine emotions that aren’t just Oh Depression, Oh Boredom like we see in the first episode. Taking that together with her comphet, and her proximity to a girl who really wants to be her girlfriend and worships her, of course she’d fall for Misa.

Which is to say of COURSE Misa still pursues her romantically bwahahahaha

Misa would only be momentarily startled that Kira isn’t a sexy guy and is instead a gorgeous, admirable, studious, athletic, beautiful, talented girl - who still murdered the guy who killed Misa’s parents. 

Thrown at first, enough to do some self reflection, she’d still go over to Light’s house with the intention of Making That Girl Her’s.

And then Serial Killer by Lana Del Rey plays in the bg as they murder the patriarchy the bad guys. Most of the early season events would be pretty much the same but Light’s feelings for Misa, and

Misa actually being allowed to have some agency that’s not just scrapping with other women and serving men -coughbadatwritingwomencough-

that would change some events

and that is to say 

if Light still dies at the end of the thing

She and Misa die together, Romeo and Juliet style, but only after a really good run at being serial killers together.

Kinda maybe a bit romantic :) You know? 

[shirtlessfelix]

hi hi hi, could i get a drabble on felix and david being childhood friends (or rivals 👀) who end up meeting again in the fog and end up developing feelings for each other after a while of felix being there? (sorry if this isnt specific enough btw sshgnhsn i dont usually rq things like this)

Yes, this is so cute!! I lowkey love this ship ngl, thank you for requesting it! <3

To Fancy an Old Friend

Slow Burn | 1306 words

Those eyes.

Felix knew them too well even after all the years during which he hadn’t seen them. Dark and morose, they stared back into his own, the mouth just under them with parted lips as shallow breaths left them. This first encounter was rather painful for Felix, who hadn’t been subjected to that glare since he was a child; since David King was taken away to a private school with stronger disciplinary measures.

The two didn’t dare speak to each other, not even now that they were adults and past all of that childish anger. Felix had heard terrible things about David growing up from his parents; the last thing he’d expected was to see him again, and to be stuck with him in the same place he’d hoped his father was.

Felix didn’t recognize anyone else, but they all stared at him just like the kids in his primary school. He was the only foreigner then, and he stuck out terribly when he spoke, no less when David would mock him for it and make the other children laugh. Even here, even now, Felix was hesitant to speak.

“No fuckin’ chance you’re the Richter boy,” David said before anybody else. He was shorter but much more stocky than Felix, and he still came off quite threateningly. The Richter boy stayed quiet and let his old Mancunian rival figure it out for himself. “It’s you, innit?”

“You know this guy?” interjected a girl who was standing by, and Felix was relieved when he heard her accent. She was Nordic.

David nodded, licking his lips as he recalled his past with the blond boy who sat in front of him in class, desperately trying to focus on his schoolwork while enduring his childish means of torture. He’d never laid a hand on Felix even once, but the words he spat along with little paper balls were enough to make him shudder.

“Probably wishes he didn’t know me.” Felix stood back and watched as David stood up from his seat on the log. “This is Nea. I’m sorry you’re here.”

---

While he learned the ropes from the others, David left Felix alone, not assuming he'd want to talk with him even though it had been years since they'd seen each other last. It was inevitable that they would end up in a trial together, but even then, he paid Felix no mind until he was in trouble with the Wraith invisible at his heels. He didn't know where to turn.

David jumped out behind Felix when the killer revealed himself once again, swinging out in front of him and expecting the newbie to fall into his hands. Felix gasped when David grunted instead, letting himself be injured for his sake and yelling, "Go, Felix, run!" So he did.

A flick of his bell, and the Wraith had vanished once again, but David could tell that he was going after Felix again, and that was something he just wouldn't have. He followed the billowy shadow through the trees and once again got in his way, but tumbled forward to waste even more of the killer's time on him. Felix had been able to get away.

Later, David hadn't acknowledged the selflessness that made Felix wonder how much he'd really changed, and instead he disappeared off somewhere else. Felix wanted to talk to him, to ask what happened on the first day when he didn't have him to rag on. Where did you go? he wondered. Why are you here?

---

The time for conversation finally came when neither of them were stuck in the confines of a killer's territory, where they were safe from all that for a while and could confront the years of tension that was left unresolved. Felix approached David as he whittled a stick down to dust, sitting next to him on his spot by the campfire.

"I know we were kids then," Felix told him, and David noticed how much his accent had gone away. It made him laugh inwardly, how something so small made him so upset as a child. Felix must have stayed in England, he thought. "Thank you for helping me before."

"It's nothin'. Gotta look out for each other down here, y'know." David wiped the sawdust from his hands and sat back, looking at Felix in the moonlight. He asked him, "So, what brings you?" and for a long time, they talked about their lives after they'd left each other's. The Richters' involvement with "a cult or something" that Felix hardly bothered with, and how David had simply thought he'd gotten so drunk he started hallucinating.

They reminisced on the short time they'd had together in their past, Felix not blaming David for not having liked his accent. "Well, that's not true," David told him. "I did like it; that was the problem," he laughed. "I liked it so much, I hated you. Stupid kid things, I guess."

And then, the conversation had taken a turn. It swerved and slowed down to a halt when Felix told David how much he'd admired his strength back then, and his bravery at any given moment. That much about him hadn't changed, it seemed. Felix still swooned over it.

"I took German in secondary school," David admitted. "I had a lot of regrets that I wanted to make up to you somehow. Some part of me hoped that I'd see you again."

Felix chuckled. "Well, here we are."

---

As the two of them spent more time together, David teaching Felix more and more how to survive this place, and Felix helping David brush up on his German, they grew closer than they'd ever thought possible. David even may have been ready to admit why he'd really loathed Felix all that time ago, and why his utter perfection even as a child made him so, excruciatingly jealous.

"Oh, you think you were jealous," Felix laughed. They were laying deep in the woods together, looking up through the trees and eating from a basket of berries that Jake and Claudette had picked earlier.

"You had everything, Felix, of course I was." David brought his hands up behind his head and clasped them together.

"Not your strength," Felix said. "Not your courage, not your ability to never give a shit what anyone thought about you. I had pretty buildings to look at."

"Do you care what I think about you now?" David asked with a smirk tugging on his lips. Felix laughed and looked away. "What do you think about me?"

"I think... you've turned out all right. Strong, good-looking... I mean--" By then, his face had turned the faintest shade pinker, and David's had too. "Well, you know what I mean."

"Do I, now?"

"I'd hope so."

"Are you calling me handsome, Richter boy?" His face had gone red. "I'll call you handsome, then, how's that?" Felix smiled sheepishly and shook his head, to tell David that he was being ridiculous, how dare you play with me like that.

What was all fun and games turned into a softer stare-down between them.

Those eyes.

They didn't glare at Felix like they used to, but they looked at him with a longing hat had been there the whole time. He dared to lean over and let his lips connect with David's in the most hesitant kiss he'd ever kissed, one surrounding him with comfort as David's arm laid itself over his waist. It left Felix wanting more, to kiss him even just once more, but maybe another time.

For now, this was okay, and certainly more than he'd bargained for when he found himself with David King in his life again. Maybe it wasn't quite life they were living, but it was something, and they were together. And Felix didn't mind at all.

[lettersfromkokichiouma]

ehehehe hEYyyyyy Kokichiii~~~ I, 🍬 anon have returned!!

ik i sent in an ask not too long ago but likE-

i lowkey needa vent rn and srry if this ends up long as hell lmao (feel free to answer this whenevr you want mod no pressure <3 )

just for some context, a few months or so ago (i have no clue lol) i realized that im a trans demiguy instead of being genderfluid because i realized i was forcing myself to accept she/her pronouns cause i didnt wanna be an inconvience to people but i still liked really feminine stuff which is why i thought i was genderfluid at first, but i just needed some time to really think about it yk? also in case you wanna know my pronouns are he/him or they/them <3

aNyWaY sooo a few days ago i bought a chest binder on amazon and not even a day after it arrived, my parents sat me down and asked me why i bought it behind their backs. cause i never told them i bought it in the first place. they ended up practically forcing me to come out to them because there was no other way i couldve gotten out of the situation, and the reactions i got wheerrreeee mixed to say the least. it could've been much worse, but it felt like it couldve gone so muhc better. my mom started crying and said that she'll accept me no matter "whether you have short hair, long hair, or whatever you wear" which like.... lowkey feels transphobic to me??? like being trans (in my opinion) is hardly ever about what you wear or what you look like, wear whatever the hell you want whether its feminine or masc or whatever. all that matters is what your comfortable with yourself yk? it just kinda feels like she has this incredibly shallow understanding of what being trans is and doesnt even want to try to learn more about it. she was also more concerned about the fact that i didnt tell them before hand which in my opinion isnt something i have to do. just because i didnt come to them about it doesnt mean i dont trust them. she said that she doesnt think she'll be able to use my preferred name and pronouns too soo thAnKs mOm. my dad on the other hand was much more understanding, but still said stuff like "your young" and "your feeling lots of different emotions right now" and my mom said similar things as well. bUUuUut it kinda gets a bit worse... the day after all of this happened, for the entire day, my mom completely ignored me, not even bothering to look me in the eye or even speak to me. while she and my younger brother had a full conversation about his day when i got back from school, she never said a word to me. she didnt even talk to me for the rest of the day until recently where she said "good night". IS THAT IT- its honestly like she doesn't care that she practically ghosted me the entire day. id probably understand if she had a rough day and didnt feel like talking, but she was just fine talking to my brother, so now im wondering if she's transphobic. and ignoring someone let alone her own kid the whole day is something thats really really not like her usual self, so yeah. tbh, i had a gut feeling that she had at the very least internalized transphobia, so now i really wish that i had gotten to test the waters first but instead i was flung straight into the deep end of the pool. metaphorically. although, im not completely sure how this will all play out... in the meantime though, thank you so much for listening kokichi~~ <333 can i have some comfort cuddles please? 👉👈

*covers your face in kisses and cuddles you softly*

“wellll first of all, im super glad you figured that out about yourself!

congratulations! im really proud of you!

...but im sorry your parents didn’t have a good reaction.

if my child came out as trans, i’d throw them a party and buy them anything they want! buuut some parents aren’t like that....

sometimes they do accept you but they’re just reallllyyy bad at understanding what’s going on.

orrrrrr they’re transphobic which is totally awful! i don’t tolerate those types of people!

and you shouldn’t either! you shouldn’t have to deal with dumb people like that or dumb things like transphobia!

you are who you are! and i think you’re amazing!

the easiest thing to give people is respect y’know? and it’s soooo dumb that they can’t give you that right away!

...you’re valid, whether or not they choose to respect you though!

that’s the most important thing to remember! no one can hurt you if you know how incredibly amazing you are y’know?

and im not lying about that. i think you know me enough by now to know i don’t lie about stuff like that!!

and yup! of course i’ll give you comfort cuddles!

*opens arms*

you deserve them after all.”

-Kokichi Ouma

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Yaku version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

Yaku is so cute

he’s so confused why a cat is following him to school

he stops crouches and picks up the cat and thought of bringing it to the shelter bc it looks so clean,,, someone must own it yk

but when you realize you are being sent to the shelter you screeched and clinged to him like a mad cat

the terror on the cat’s face terrified Yaku the same,, he concluded it was abused or smth so he proceeded to bring it to school with him

the school patrols were by the gate so he did his best to hide you inside his bag,, which thankfully worked since you were small enough

skinny

he lit did not know what to do with you,, especially since you behaved and kept looking at him with beady eyes :((((

he wanted to cuddle you but he was afraid since its a cat, it might get attached to him and not leave him alone :((((((((((

besides that you prolly had a family and he wanted to search it for you

which he did,, he brought you along with him to volleyball practice and asked the others if he’s seen the cat before and knows the owner

sadly, no one did

realistically as well since duh you lit just spawned on the surface of the earth ;)

during vball practice, Yaku kept looking if you were alright by yourself with his things and when he looked there you were

sleeping, snuggling yourself on his bag all comfy :(

meanwhile Lev lowkey wanted to jump on you and give you a big ol hug since he loves cats so much but Yaku had that taken care of dw

his heart was broken not knowing what to do with you

Kuroo suggested him to just bring you with him home if he rly didn’t have the heart to leave you alone like this

and you were surprised to hear this like oh my god oh my god its wORKING MY PHEROMONES-

you were so enthralled, it showed on your face Kuroo laughed at you and ruffled your head,,, you hit his hand with your paw-

on the way home, Yaku went to buy food for you in the convenience store and you noticed the sky was getting dimmer o no 6 more hours till midnight you gotta step up sis!!!!!

you started flirting with him in front of the cashier clinging to his neck like a spoiled cat lmao the cashier even told Yaku the cat look so in love with him

and what were the odds he were right

Yaku’s mom was kind enough to let him bring a cat in the house,,, even said that you could say and of course you’d love that but as a cat???? you’d def rather as her daughter-in-law idk

he took you to his room

his room

HIS ROOM

YOU FELT LIKE YOU WERE TRESSPASSING

Yaku noticed you were scared to take steps in the room, had no idea why but he chuckled and picked you up with his hand he told you its ok you dont have to worry about dirtying the floor with your paws aw he thinks u durty

so he starts changing his clothes

i mean what else did you expect you’re literally just a cat

and that made you sad bc you’re just a cat getting his attention like this and it felt unfair,,, you wanted to stay like this forever bc its not easy to do smth like this irl but doin the dirty is another story i mean cmon

that night Yaku was just hanging out with you on his bed, talking about things that happened,,, and his worries for the vball team since they’re about to graduate soon

“i dont wanna leave them behind,, they’re like my family. Kuroo’s an ass but he’s been one of my great friends, Kai too. Lev’s a pain in the ass but he’s a good kid. Kenma’s shut off but he’s really sweet when he’s sincere with his feelings. Fukunaga doesn’t speak much but he means well.”

you,,, uh you guessed he really loved his team

and he’s opening up with rubbing your head and the spot behind your ears,, and you just stayed like that,, you never left his side and he really loved that part of you

but then you felt the change happening

you looked at the time and it was almost midnight,, you needed to leave

Yaku was asleep so you wanted to leave as quietly as possible your body was wrapped around his arm!!!! you needed strength to get out!!!!

he woke up but you went straight to his window and oh no it wasn’t opening with your puny little paws

Yaku got up to open the window for you absentmindedly and you just yeeted yourself outta his room,, he was shot awake and left the house immediately to see if you were alright

ofc you landed perfectly with your kitty reflexes and ran straight ahead to where you first met the the big crazy cat you wished from

but Yaku caught you

as yOU WERE ABOUT TO TRANSFORM BACK to what you were supposed to look like

and oh no since you’ve transformed back you wouldnt be able speak to the big crazy cat anymore,,,

the spell is removed

and Yaku saw all of that happened

“y/n???”

you wanted to tell him that it wasn’t what it looked like,, but what in the world would he expect it to be??? you couldnt speak since you were swallowed by the humiliation

“are you okay?!”

“you jumped off from the second floor you could’ve hurt yourself!”

this sweet boi,,, isnt even fazed seein a cat shapeshift into a human girl

it was late af and Yaku doesn’t have any choice but to let you stay in his house for the night,, sis his mum was shook to see him bring you home

she asked you where your parents are

and you said they’re out of town at the moment,, which clearly was a lie since there was a substitute of yourself back there

see, their house dont have guest room,,,,,,

“Morisuke, you have another futon in your room don’t you?”

so yuh,,, its a sleepover

he asked you so many questions about what just happened and you honestly answered every single one of them,, especially the part of you feeling as if you weren’t wanted in your home

and that you liked him

well, that part kinda slipped ahaha

“you like me?”

“um”

“y/n since when?”

“uh, nyways, don’t get shocked tomorrow morning if i suddenly disappear here, i won’t die i’ll just-”

“you’ll disappear?”

you were about to say that you’ll just manifest back to your usual life back at your home,,, however the worry in his eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him and never let him go and thats exactly what he did

“you’re not alone anymore”

stay tuned for more from the wheel of names.

[many-gay-magpies]

Smh i should really stop talking to my mom about anxiety/mental stuff because every time it only makes me feel worse

I love my mom a lot but like . sometimes there are just things that get on my nerves even though i love her. I kinda feel bad because like she tries so hard to understand and says she understands and I know she DOES to a degree so I feel bad for lowkey thinking like the whiny teenager all like "yOu DoN't UnDeRsTaNd Me" sometimes, y'know? Like the bottom line is our brains just work really really differently a lot of the time and she either wants to believe or genuinely believes that they dont

Every time I talk to her about my (non-clinical, probably) anxiety and what caused it (this girl bullying me for six years) she goes on to mention all the ways she was bullied as a kid and all the terrible shit she's gone through to say in the end "so I understand" when like all of that shit is way different from my experience so every time she says it inside I'm just like "yes but actually no"

Like, today i was talking about my bully to her and how I've started realizing that all my responses now are responses i was forced to give as a kid because of the situation i was in with my bully, and she went in depth and told me (all stuff she had already told me about before and also when i had been talking about my anxiety stuffs before) about how her mom forced her to sleep in curlers so she would have banana curls and made her wear dresses and how she got mugged really bad when she was older and all this stuff that is very valid trauma and sucks ass and i thank her for trying to understand me but at the same time all the shit that happened to her was surface level. Neither of us could control what was happening to us, because her mom made her dress like that and I couldn't just make this girl suddenly not have issues, but like a dress is still something you can change??? Take off??? Like it isnt attatched to you as a person. I cant change the fact that i exist, which this girl bullying me apparently hated me for. To her my existence was just like "oh i must hurt this person" not because of what i wore, what i looked like, etc etc.

She also kept subtly bringing up the fact that i had never been PHYSICALLY hurt by my bully and implying that because she HAD her pain was worse and i could have had it worse if my bully physically hurt me and ACTED on the threats to hurt me (which my mom's bullies did) and while yes that was true . My bully didn't threaten to physically hurt me at all so there were no threats TO act on she just talked to me like i was shit all the time and beat my self esteem about my personality into a meaningless pulp . I kind of wanted to scream in my moms face "YOUR PAIN WAS MOSTLY PHYSICAL WHILE MINE WAS EMOTIONAL, BOTH ARE VALID AND DIFFERENT" but i know she does know that-- but maybe it would have gotten the point across idk

I wish so badly that i could just tell my mom "I dont want/need you to understand, i just need you to be here" and like i could but . I'm not there yet

(Warning ahead, I'm sorry if this gets really long but like I wanna get it off my chest before i go to sleep bcs i feel like ill sleep better if i do)

Another thing that annoys me is that??? Every time??? I say something??? Or tell her how I'm feeling at the moment??? She just asks me??? "Why?"??? And yes its good to talk about stuff but I'm trying to explain to you in a polite way why i want to leave the conversation and that its making me uncomfortable and i just want to go to bed and you just go "but why are you uncomfortable?" Or like if i tell her I'm upset and i want to stop talking about it she goes "why are you upset? I dont want you to be upset" and I'm just. I literally just said i dont want to talk about this anymore can i please leave you cant control that I'm upset about this because continuing talking to you is just going to make me more upset because no matter what way i try to explain it i cant get my points across right to you and i dont want to say you dont understand bcs thats immature but you kind of dont understand

I want to tell her "This conversation isnt having the outcome i wanted it to have and i want to leave it before it makes me more upset so that i can go think on it for later" but I'm sure if i do. that shed just go "but WHY arent you happy with the conversation tell me so i can fix it" and if i tell her blatantly what is making me unhappy (the fact that she keeps saying she understands and pouring stories of her traumas onto me to "prove" that she understands) then she's going to guilt trip me when were talking in the future by emphasizing the fact that i dont like when she talks a certain way and be all like "oh i wont tell you about my OWN experiences though because you said you don't LIKE when I DO that" and i just hhhhhh

Like every time i tell her she doesnt understand and try to explain it in a way that she WILL and it'll finally click it just. Doesn't and it makes me feel so defeated because every time i do that she just circles back around to "well i experienced all these types of trauma so i totally understand" and i appreciate the effort but that just isnt the kind of support i needed to make me feel content

And also when i was talking to her tonight i told her about a specific instance that happened in like 1rst or 4th grade where I was crying because the girl bullying me was just in one of those. Bad Moods™ where like she hated me for existing and talked to me like i was a piece of trash she had stepped in or smth and then she and a couple other kids asked me WHY I WAS CRYING and I didn't want to tell her "hey I'm crying because you keep hurting me and i dont want you to" because if i said that she would just hurt me MORE so i made up a lie on the spot and said that my parents had a small argument (I'm a sensitive kid and will cry at the barest hint of conflict between my parents so it checked out) and i was crying because of it and . Out of that ENTIRE STORY the one thing my mom zeroed in on was the fact that i told a lie that "painted my parents in a bad light"

Just. Like. Yeah. It did. But I wasn't even thinking about that at the moment?? Like it didn't even cross my mind??? The only thing i was thinking about was that i was scared and in danger and i probably would have said anything to get OUT of that danger (as fake or ill-perceived it might have been). But no, even later on after i had explained that in basically those exact words she still went back around to say "oh if it was bad enough that you told a lie about your parents to get out of it then she REALLY fucked you up"

Which??? By the way??? Is a whole other reason why i try not to talk to my mom about this shit??? Because every time i open up about it and want to have a conversation in a more logical/organized/"well here's the situation and here's what we can do about it" kind of way she always turns it around and says stuff like "damn [REDACTED] really fucked you up didn't she" and "I didn't know it was that bad"/"I didn't know it effected you that bad, you should have said something!" which. Makes me Feel Bad™, for some reason way more than my dad excitedly talking about reptile and monkey brains and how stuff that happened to us in the past is engrained into our brain and still effects us now, like instinct

She also always turns all of my stuff talking about emotions into "oh you're just a teenager" "you're pms'ing" "you'll grow out of it later"

Like one time i told her that her mind was always in the past or the future, always worrying about the past or the future, never in the present, in response to her worrying a bunch about something and how i had my mind in the present more often and her response was something along the lines of "well you're like that because you're young and a teenager, you CAN stay thinking in the present because you dont have all that stuff to worry about like an adult does, I'm an adult and i work a bunch so i constantly have stuff to worry about" and like. Yeah theres some solidity to that. But also i literally talked about that exact thing with my dad and HE said her brain was always in the past/future and never the present so I'm pretty sure its not just a teen vs adult thing

And then towards the end of this whole thing when i had finally managed to tell her "hey I'm uncomfortable in this conversation can i please leave and go to bed" and even further explained that it was because i went into this wanting to have a more casual/logic-based talk rather than an emotional discussion and . she's kind of of the mind that "why did you bring it up if you didn't want to have a deep emotional discussion about it" and I'm just HHHNNNNGGGG but also i actually DIDNT mention it, first i was mentioning how id been having sensory overload lately and how certain sounds of words hurt and then she said i should have a doctor check that out and then i said "I've been reading up on anxiety and sensory overload is a part of that so i figured that's just what it was" (bcs my dad gets sensory overload a lot too) which then ensued a ten-minute conversation about how i probably dont have clinical anxiety because mine isnt as bad as/like all the many, many people my mom has known who DO have it (throughout which i kept trying to tell her "just social anxiety exists too tho" to which she would respond "yea but u dont have these symptoms of general anxiety so i dont think u have it" and while i hope and think i dont i was just like HHHHHHH because i mean social anxiety and by social anxiety I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL ANXIETY YOU CAN HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT HAVING GENERAL at least i think idk i might be wrong) which i ended by saying "i probably dont have clinical anxiety but i do believe my brain has been wired to react to certain situations based on how i had to react to those situations for six years" which then lead to me talking more about my bully and my mom pretty much siphoning as much emotional vulnerability and opening up out of me as she could

And then at the end i told her "can i please leave i kind of feel like crying and i dont want to do it in front of a person at the moment" (because I haven't cried in a few months and i feel like I'm in need of a good cry tbh which in itself is something she doesnt really understand) which lead her to go "why do you feel like crying now I'm worried for you" and HHHHHHEBDJBEHNDEJHBDNEHDBEH yeah--

There's probably more i could say but I'm not going to, because its almost 1 am and while i had actually been about to sleep early at like ten she ended up roping me into an hour or two long talk about emotions, which is. Fun. And i have to get up in six hours so I'm going to go to bed. Sorry if this was a mess which I'm sure it is, i really just needed to get this out there lol

Also when i went to my dad after this to say goodnight (i actually like talking to my dad abt this stuff a lot since his brain and mine are just really similar) he gave me this lil smile and just said "deep breaths" and that made me feel better

[ofcnoel]

                                       𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔... 𝕟𝕠𝕖𝕝 𝕝𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 

                  ―   chance perdomo. he/him. cismale.  ／  noel laurent  just pulled up blasting a boy is a gun by tyler, the creator  — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-two year old rapper, i’ve heard they’re really reckless, but that they make up for it by being so altruistic. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say rolled up sleeves on an oversized sweater, missed 2am calls, messy notebooks filled with lyrics. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

tw: uh , homophobia? yeah yikes.  

              hi  it’s  me,  dumb  bitch  machine,  raq.  annnd  this  is  my  lil  cherub  noel.  lit  rally  love  this  rp  more  than  life  itself  and  i’m  SO  happy  that  it’s  come  back.  it  was  a  crazy  special  place  a  year  ago  and  it’ll  be  another  crazy  special  place  now  too. noel’s  brand  new  so  excuse  the  awkward  phase  i  tend  to  go  through  while  i  feel  out  a  new  muse.  i’m  also  playin  with  new   aesthetics  for   threads  and  what  not   so  like  just  be  patient  with  me  skjags.  i ...  already  have  a  second  muse  in  the  works   because  yes  i’m  extra!  cannot  wait  to  write  with  you  all !! 

         [ 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤  ―  ❝ BETTER  DAYS  FOLLOW  ME  LIKE  THE  SADDEST  SONG ❞  ] 

full  name:  noel  amari  laurent  

age:  twenty-two years old

date  of  birth:  may  12th 

star  sign:  taurus 

place  of  birth:   san  marcos  ,  texas 

currently  living  in:  los angeles , california  

voiceclaim:  brockhampton /  kevin  abstract

sexual orientation:  bisexual 

spoken languages:  fluent  in  english  and  very  limited  in  spanish thanks to his dad  *more  on  that   later 

TL;DR :  noel  laurent  is  a  twenty-something  rapper/boyband  member  who  is….  honestly  trying  his  best  and  failing  lmao.  he  lost  alot  of  connection  to  his  family  really  young  and  recently.  because  of  this,  he  has  a  tendency  to  cling  hard  to  people  and  make  himself  his  own  makeshift  family  in  people  who  don’t  always  have  his  best  interest  in  mind.  which  always  lowkey  just  hurts  him  in  the  end  cause  his  expectations  are  too  high!  he’s    ambitious  and  loving  but  hella  reckless.  

         [ 𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕  ― ❝  I  WISH  YOU'D  LOVE  ME  FOR  LIFE  ❞  ]  

alright   here   we   go

noel    was    born    in    san    marcos    texas    to    eva    laurent    on    may    12th    1997.    For    all    of    his    life,    it    was    just    him,    his    mother    and    his    younger    sister.    They    didn’t    have    a    ton    but    eva    did    everything    she    could    to    make    sure    they    had    everything    they    needed.    she’s    an    incredible    hard    worker    and    that    work    ethic    trickled    down    to    noel    from    a    very    young    age.    

alright  so  #daddyissues  much?  noel’s  dad  was  in  his  life  when  he  was  really  young.  from  three  to  like  eight,  because  his  parents  got  back  together  for  a  couple  years  .  once  they  broke  up  again  his  dad  vanished  again  !  he  has  very  few  memories  of  him  but  some  of  them  are  still  they’re  prettyyyyy  fuzzy.  tbh  ,  his  dad’s  a  really  touchy  subject  so  he  tends  to  just  pretend  the  guy  doesn’t  exist  !

he   kinda   always   wanted   to   help   out   his   mom   (   spoiler   alert,   he’s   a   mommas   boy   but   more   on   that   later   )   so,   pretty   much   from   the   age   he   was   legally   able   to,   noel   his   been   #grinding.   like,   imagine   that   one   kid   that   fell   asleep   in   english   because   they   work   late   the   night   before.   that   was   him   throughout   highschool.   he   was   working   odd   jobs   constantly   on   the   side   of   his   main   job.   mowing   lawns,   dog   walking,   you   name   it   he   probably   dabbled.   he’s   smart   so   he’d   do   other   kid’s   homework   for   pay   but   wouldn’t   do   his   own   homework   cause…   fuck   his   grades   ig   lmao

 he’s   always   had   an   affinity   for   music   but   rarely   found   the   time   to   actually   play   an   instrument   or   write   anything   for   that   matter.   it’d   take   one   really   stubborn   choir   teacher   junior   year   who’d   nudge   him   to   start   turning   the   handful   of   short   poems   he’d   turned   in   for   their   songwriting   project   into   songs.   

you  could  say  mid  highschool  was  really  formative  years  for  the  boy  …  along  with  falling  in  love  with  making  music  he  literally  fell  in  love  FOR  REAL  with  someone  for  the  first  time  !!  soft,  yes.  If  you’re  lucky  he’ll  talk  about  dylan  quite  fondly  buuuuuuuuut  that’s  another  touchy  subject  cause  had  to  keep  it  secret  til  it  all  essentially  fell  apart.  His  mom  had  met  a  handful  of  noel’s  girlfriends  prior  to  dylan  …  and  he  hadn’t  gained  the  bravery  to  tell  her  about  him.  It’s  sad  i’m  sad.  

him  and  his  bois  would  later  collaborate  and  realize  “  hey  we’ve  got  something  good  here !  “ soooo  they  planned  to  move  out  to  la  pursue  the  #bandlife . 

now,  telling  his  mom  about  this  move  led  to  an  EXPLOSIVE  fight  cause,,,  noel  was  basically  helping  support  her  and  he  wouldn’t  be  able  to  do  that  if  the  band  stuff  fell  through.  The  mess  of  the  fight  resulted  in  a  bunch  of  stuff  that  probably  should  have  been  said  and…  noel  coming  out.  great  timing  son.  So  yea,  he  left  the  house  at  the  ripe  age  of  18  and  has  been  hanging  with  his  bros  ever  since.  honestly  pls  protect  him    

         [ 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 ― ❝  LUCKY STRIKE, FILTERTLESS, DON'T PUSH ME.  ❞ ]   

kay  so  if  you  can’t  tell  the  boy  is…  ambitious  !  he’s  the  type  to  believe  in  something  and  throw  his  fully  self  into  it  because  he’s  just  that  dedicated  to  chasing  dreams  .  killer  work  ethic  ,  but  he’s  gotten  a  better  handle  on  balancing  work  and  fun  thanks  to  his  bois.  he  is  insanely  lucky  which  one  pushes  him  to  take  more  risks  

kinda  goes  with  the  last  one  but  he’s  SUCH  an  open  hearted  dude .  that  guy  after  a  break  up  no  matter  how  messy  will  probably  wanna  be  friends  (  but  also  messy  enough  to  turn  exes  into  friends  with  benefits  and  then  catch  feelings  again..  Issa  nasty  cycle  pls  pray  )  

loves  a  party  ,  is  probably  skinny  dipping    and  calling  his  ex  while  drunk  i-  WATCH  HIM  OK?  afskajd

he’s  honestly  so  sweet  and  humble  buuuuut  don’t  think  that  means  self  deprecating  cause  my  son  knows  hes  pretty  .  he’s  got  enough  self  esteem  to  share  and  prioritizes  #selflove  skagja  will  accept  a  compliment  with  a  cheeky  smile  and  a  simple  thank  you.  so,  not  arrogant  but  like  he’s  not  gonna  deny  the  obvious  truth?  lmaooo  

swear  to  god,  he’s  bad  at  keeping  secrets  and  will  let  u  know  how  he  feels.  even  with  crushes  so  unless  he’s  feelin  nervous  for  some  reason  most  likely  he’ll  make  the  first  move.  he’s  a  romantic.  he’s  just  all  around  really  honest

one  direction  STAN :) skfjadk 

 [ 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 ― ❝ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ , ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ʜᴜɴɴɪᴅꜱ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ❞ ] 

Exes  are  always  great  ,  maybe  a  best  friend  who  isnt’  apart  of  the  band,  general  friends,  bad  influences  who  take  him  to  parties  where  he’ll  inevitably  skinny  dip,  good  influences,  new  crushes,  unrequited  crush  cause  we  love  heart  break,  neighbors,  enemies  (  i  ??  don’t  put  it  past  him  to  have  ended  up  in  a  fight  while  drunk  or  something  cause..  reckless  )  people  he  might’ve  met  in  texas?  His  band  mates  (  if  you’re  lookin  to  bring  a  second  ;)  )  sibling  like  friendships,  anything  sis

[woodswolf]

Let's go buck wild. Even numbers

i did this........ on mobile........ for You............

also im not bolding all of these its absolutely painful on mobile

2. How old did you turn this year?

21

4. Did your appearance change in anyway?

uhhh not really, been that kinda "lowkey dumpster fire" look for like the entire decade tbh

6. If you traveled, where did you go?

went to las vegas with family for three days over thanksgiving

8. Which fashion trends did you hate?

i dont even know what fashion is i just wear business casual for work and dont get dressed at all on the weekends unless i need to buy food.

10. What song sums up this year for you?

home by cavetown and/or strawberry blond by mitski

12. What was your favorite movie of the year?

i cant even remember if ive SEEN any movies this year tbh but uhh did good blood's oot analysis video essay come out this year? because if so ill go with that

14. Favorite new TV show?

i dont watch SHIT because i am uncultured and have no time!!!!!! but i guess steven universe future has been entertaining to watch from the sidelines

16. What food did you try for the first time?

uhhhhhh i guess i had shepard's pie. i know very new and original but considering my usual diet is "pre-portioned shit that can be thrown in a microwave and consumed" its something

18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

i dont remember things that happen more than like 3 days ago at any given time so idk

20. Did you develop a new obsession?

not particularly? just a few old hyperfixations came on stronger

22. Did you move?

yea for work, im in the civilization now

24. Did you get a pet?

sorta? my parents adopted a puppy but shes not mine n im not up there to see her most of the time so

26. Do you regret doing something?

sorta but its hard to explain

28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

sorta yea? but idk how to explain it in short form

34. Did you have to cut ties to someone?

not really? i dont remember

36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

i dont remember. this whole list is just kinda reminding me of how fucking long this year has dragged on tbh

38. What was the best moment of the year for you?

not really any one specific moment? idk, just goofing off with friends

40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

this question makes me feel Things in a way thats hard to describe. same with the companion question thats an odd number. how the fuck are you supposed to determine if something should change you as a person? how do you quantify that? and then how do you make a comparison at the end? i have megabig identity issues that im not really public with on this blog and pretty much never have been! it's just a huge series of cop-outs and shit! and like this isnt even getting into the idea of how im supposed to anticipate a change ahead of time? like whats up with neurotypicals n their future vision shit i want that?

42. What are you most proud of accomplishing?

uhhhhhh i got a job n i finished my first big project on that job. i am still working at that job and i hope that i can continue to work there because if i cant im beyond fucked.

44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

uhhhhhh i dont really know? i mean sorta but can an opinion really qualify as having changed for the better if it previously just didnt exist? like oh, i now know more about this person other than their name and the fact that they exist and turns out they are cool and nice. like that doesnt really count as an opinion change imo

46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

if i made resolutions i sure as fuck dont remember them. but i got a job in my field at least so thats something

48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this?

kinjago reunion party in fuckin uh. some big cabin in the woods where we can subsist and have sleepovers. n we never leave we just stay there forever.

50. What do you wish for yourself?

really need to keep my job hhhh. really need to fix my pc hhhhhhhhh.

[hoesie-blog1]

whaddup its me ella with josie as a muse n ur watching hawkings channel!

this is basically just me rambling around josie and im really sorry if none of it makes sense i tried xx

she group up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, they all thought the same, and they hated the idea of being different or going out of the norm like everything had to be the same  n nothing could b  different

she grew up in a household where  she  was told what to do, what to think, how to act, etc. growing up she never had the ability to really grow as her own because her family and town were the ones molding her the entire time and she hated that like josie hated how everyone was the same and that she didnt really know who she was like? she just knew how she was SUPPOSED to be not how she really was u know?

once high school graduation came around, josie bounced hella fast from her town and family and decided to travel. her parents hated that bc they said all  she’d ever need was what  the  town was giving her and josie was like lmfao WHAT and  they were like yes! stay! and then when she kept  refusing  they  said if she left the town then thatd b it for her. like theyd support her finanically (which wasnt much bc their family wasnt really rich and the only reason  why they said  they’d support her fiananically was in case  josie ended  up getting  somewhere high  in life and they wanted her money  when josie made it big if she ever did). 

anymemes josie took it and left. she travelled with what she had saved up and probs went to like. canada or something because  lets b real she didnt have much saved up n canada was already pushing it lowkey. bitch isnt rich she cant afford to leave north america. 

during her travels the main point of it all  was to find  herself and find answers that she  needed  to finish the puzzle that is josie  ahn’s true self and she thot it was going to work bc  she heard traveling  alone lets u discover herself and ya that worked but she found out she had magic running through her veins n shes like word so  i wanted a puzzle piece  and got a whole ass different puzzle instead? word ok ok  ok 

so  that happened. after her travels in canada she was more confused  than ever and attended hawkings. she was still confused, still doesnt kno who she  is, now shes a literal witch w powers. cute! 

when she heard about the circle/other witches in hawkings ig she decided to join so maybe it would give her answers she needs bc shes confused n honestly she’ll literally try anything once like. when it came  to possibly killing someone she didnt hesitate she just said ok lets do it!

morally speaking, i dont think josie has much of a compass bc ig she  had  one before in  the town  but honestly  she despises everything they taught her and told her to b so she doesnt  care much about  her compass so i guess shes not really morally  good n leans more morally bad just bc shes like lmfao i dont know who i am ill  do anything  once idc if the devil is the one cheering me on for it. ill b the devil if thats who im supposed to b type of thing u kno? 

shes literature major n is HOE (not only for dicks n vaginas!) for reading and writing n comics!!!!!

she writes everything that goes around her whether its experiences,  conversations she had, or conversations  she over heard like  she just. writes write  writes and writes

she  writes characters  hoping she’ll be able to resonate with her and  make her feel like o wow this character is  ME! u  kno like  shes writing to find herself shes using her characters almost  like test  trials i guess u  could say  

she lives for  comics and superheros bc of the origin  stories that superheros have u kno? they all start off not knowing who they are  and theyre  confused as josie  but along their storyline, they find themselves and thats what josie wants  like she wants 2 be like them n find out who she is. is she the devil? is she a hero? are we dating? are we fucking? are we  best friends? are we something? u know its just all the  questions 

her main point  is finding answers thats all this hoe bitch wants  she wants answers she wants to know y  she has these powers n who shes supposed 2 b someone educate josie on josie pls she begs

when it  comes to magic, she  has a love/hate for it? she likes the advantags and thrills it gives her, but she  hates how it feels like a burden on herself bc its ANOTHER THING she has to understand about herself u feel but she’d never  tell anyone that u kno shes in the circle she  doesnt want them knowing that she lowkey hates her magic 

uhmmmm what  else is there??? 

o ya she  loves the devil lettuce just because she likes how honest and free  people are when theyre  high and how good the body feels like its not tense its all relaxed and the  food  is good and the music  is SO FUCKIN GOOD ITS  LIKE UR HAVING UR OWN CONCERT ESPEICALLY WHEN U LAY ON UR BED GOD I WISH I HAD  AN EDIBLE FOR THIS A NUT

but ya she’ll write little things while shes high or tries to rmemeber  how  people are

shes a lowkey follower i guess u can call her bc  she’ll try anything and test it out to see if its her but for the most part she tries to be independant but right now she  cant b  bc shes taking other  peoples ideas n trying to make them her own but its hard bc she grew up sharing other people ideas n keeping  them the  way they are so she finds it hard to change them bc they lowkey end  up being the same as everyone else still

loves a good party. a hoe. will literally do anything once it could b an activity, a hobby, a person, literallly anything. she’ll  literally  try  anything once. 

anything. 

I FORGOT  THIS BUT UH BASICALLY SHE DOESNT KNOW ANYONE IN HER  FAMILY W MAGIC SHE GREW UP HER ENTIRE LIFE NOT KNOWING ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE FINALLY  FOUND  OUT SHE HAD IT N SHE WAS LIKE WTF???? THE  ONLY  FAMILY SHE KNOWS IS HER IMMEDIATE FAILY SHE DONT KNOW HER EXTENDED  OK 

thats it for josie (or for now bc i cant think of anything) buT  YAH! THATS IT! pls plot w me xx we can make it ugly or cute xxxx

[machudson]

uhh for the ask meme, cyanthia and vadelma/marian!

heyyy thx for asking 

cyanthia

How I feel about this character: IIIII honestly dont. know how to feel about her? since she has Like No Development ive given her my own development inside my head and i see her as . sort of an apathetic asshole rip. i draw her basically the most out of any of tammys characters cause shes the only one i can actually remember the nose shape And hairstyle of. lmao.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: ummmm only really bella? and even then im not that big on bellanthia personally fhjdsgfs. i guess tetrox but only really in a sort of jokey flirting way

My non-romantic OTP for this character: arnick absolutely. theyre Absolutely best friends

My unpopular opinion about this character: idk uh. personally i think she just doesnt give a goddamn shit about anything that happens ever and is thus. a bit of an asshole. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: literally any sort of character development for her at all, and also how did the laguiole family get their wealth from?? as in what professions do her parents have??? i thought they ran a winery but apparently that was never canon so. im die.

My OTP: didnt it already ask who i shipped her with? huh. anyways bellanthia. i dont rly.. like it that much but i know that tammys on board with it so just. make it hapben tammy

My OT3: uuuuuh i guess her with bella and tetrox

vadelma/marian

when or if I started shipping it: i was pretty big on it back in 2016 but after.. some parts of fm (pages 9 and 10 especially) i uh. stopped liking it. because the undying bella stan in me interpreted some of the lines (”what a pity. you got me out of the way.”) as implying that vadelma purposely tried to get them to break up so she could be with marian and… yeah

my thoughts: IM GONNA BE REAL HERE…. i am not really a fan of vadelma and i dont like this ship that much. which i mostly explained above. and this might just be Bella Stan Grudges but i can really only see vadelma as lowkey manipulative :\

What makes me happy about them: um . tie gfs

What makes me sad about them: the fact that vadelma is So Obvious about how in love w marian she is while marian doesnt entirely reciprocate/isnt ready for a relationship yet… in the sort of way that marians kinda trapped by it? like i dont know how to say this without making vadelma sound extremely shitty but if i were in that situation as marian, id feel like i dont really have a choice but to be in that relationship eventually. like even though rejection is an option id feel supremely shitty about it. (this also applies to bellanthia)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: theres no fanfic but im gonna just take a moment to complain cause thats what i do. the christmas commission pic is ugly as fuck as far as color theory goes and I Hate It

Things I look for in fanfic: um.. i dont know. id probably only read marian/vadelma fic for marian content hjdfgfjdmsd

My kinks: ??????? as far as sexual ones go No thank you. but for things in their relationship that r cute: wearing each others ties 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: idk for vadelma? but clem/marian is The Good Shit, even if not in an endgame way bc whinter. also BELLA/MARIAN RECONCILIATION WHEN

My happily ever after for them: uh. au where vadelma is actually like. subtle and doesnt flirt with marian and also everything with bella is resolved

[apaethy]

ngl i lowkey hated s2 i just remember the parts i like but i can’t give up this dumbass show lmaoooo

but that’s not what i was gonna say i was gonna say that isabels acting and growth is great but knowing she cheated which is a sin in christianity and it’s taken her like five months to accept victor is what irks me yk like my family is deeply muslim but my mother always said she’d respect lgbt people and while idk how she’d react to me being bi that doesn’t mean that if i do come out she can act that way to me yk i wouldn’t let her bc me coming out would be my thing and another thing is that they had this whole thing in ep 9 where victor and rahim take about family and stuff and while it’s a good talk and i relate to it but benji and victor relate more to parents reacting badly and idk why they made it seem like rahim and victor connect more on a deeper level when benji and victor do. just bc benji isn’t a poc doesn’t mean he can’t relate and he was really understanding about victor and his mom and that whole situation. idk if this all makes sense and it’s a mess but as a bi muslim of color i honestly don’t see why people are defending isabel SO much

dkfjsld same like you will be seeing me the moment s3 drops to find out how this mess is gonna continue!

and anon, youre literally articulating what i felt watching that scene. its a really emotional scene with rahim talking about his family's struggles meanwhile victor is once again just ASSUMING how benji's life and experiences are without TALKING to him. how can you say benji wont understand when you never SAY to him the reason why youre struggling to stand up to your mom jfc. and as if struggling with your relationship to your relatives isnt smth people around the whole world experience. (and then in the end rahim's parents where the most accepting of all the 3 of them lol)

EDIT: i literally just rewatched the scene in ep 9 where victors mom caught him with benji and ohhh my god im literally so mad again. like at that POINT victor shouldve finally stood up to his mom. benji was absolutely right to be mad. AND THEN in the same episode he just tells rahim that benji had an addiction problem like dskfjskdfj fuck off you barely know the guy! hes such a bad boyfriend eye. i remember now why by the finale i said i want them to break up/stay broken up.

well anon, thank you so much for your message! sorry for my incoherent mess i said back to you but i wish you all the best in your life!!

[jihoonslattee]

Cafe Study Dates! Bae Jinyoung

anon requested this and i have not written about jinyoung in a hot minute i am ready to write this

schools exams were hard 

like you seriously needed to study for them a week or two in advanced if you wanted to get a good grade

unless you were someone with basically a photographic memory like Bae Jinyoung, it seemed as if he would never go down from having straight A’s in your class

you and jinyoung were friends during elementary school but during those days you could’ve sworn jinyoung was like purely the jokester of the class that didn’t really care about his grades 

but then again it is now high school and it is a time to be worrying about grades

point aside 

jinyoung was both the 1st top ranking student in academics and low key in visuals too 

but that was your opinion that you kept for yourself because you still lowkey had a crush on him ever since you guys were best friends in elementary to middle school

you guys weren’t that close now but your crush on him never faded 

BUT you guys had a lot of classes with each other so like >.> there was never a chance for you to get over your crush on him

one day while you were walking out of the school grounds though, you heard someone running behind you and soon they grabbed your shoulder

“hey Y/N! can I ask you something?”

making eye contact with jinyoung you could feel yourself blush a little since he was standing so close to you 

i mean you should be used to it by now but still you had a crush on him so your heart started beating fast whether you wanted it to or not 

 “sure go for it!”

he took a deep breath and turned to the side to face you more and clasped his hands together in front of his face

“do you think you can help me prepare for the upcoming exams? I really can’t focus lately and I don’t want to fail”

there was a couple of moments in between before you could fully process what he was actually asking you

pointing to yourself you literally looked around a bit before looking back at jinyoung

“are you really asking me? you’re the top student in this school though, if anything i should be asking you-”

“you’re the second top student in this school but i feel like you can grasp math better than i can so will you please help me after school some days?”

you thought about it for a bit and ultimately accepted because it was a chance to get to improve on the other subjects that you were struggling in while also it was a chance to get close with jinyoung again!

“yeah sure, when should we meet?”

“let’s start today! I have a ton of questions about the information taught to us in the new lesson that was taught to us, do you wanna go to the cafe?”

and that’s how you guys ended up sitting in the corner of a cafe that was pretty secluded with no windows next to you with a bunch of textbooks with you guys 

you guys spent basically a couple of hours going over a bunch of topics that would possibly be on the test 

after a good hour or two you guys kind of just drifted off onto different topics and just caught up and acted like you guys have been close for the longest time 

even though it seemed like finals were so far away you and jinyoung would totally still go to the cafe to study and hang out every day like no joke even if there was a storm jinyoung would be like

“it’s okay lets go today anyways! i’ll walk you home and hopefully your parents will let me stay until the storm calms!”

(oof gosh yall that reminded me of ioi im-)

and during school he would often just come by to hangout with you and take you away from your table of friends LMAO

like you’ll literally be stuffing your face with a burger from the cafeteria while your friends are just talking about random things when they all stop talking because oh look

jinyoung is now sitting next to you basically watching you take a big bite out of the burger 

basically choking on the piece you were trying to eat you turn around towards jinyoung and just give him a “dude why are you here face”

“let’s hang out! lunch is almost over”

he immediately grabs your hand and you guys just leave the table leaving behind your friends who were now squealing bc oh yeah they know about your crush on jinyoung and you guys holding hands is like conforming that yall have smthing going on

when there really isnt

like he literally just wanted to hang out with you (which is what you thought lmao)

he led you into your guy’s classroom and he pulled you towards his desk, quickly pulling something out of it and holding it behind his back

“what are you hiding behind your back jinyoung?”

you tried to look behind him but he stepped back, almost tripping over the chair to the desk next to him

“no first let me say something, i really wanna thank you for helping me out, i know we’re still gonna hang out and study since finals are here yet but i still got you something to thank you”

he pulled out a tiny box and then handed it to you, letting you open it in front of him 

it was a simple bracelet (any that you like or can think of!) that just had the words thank you and even though it didn’t seem that emotional, you felt very thankful and honestly you were feeling butterflies in your stomach

“jinyoung you shouldn’t have, you’re too nice i can’t believe you got this for me, i should get something for you now!”

he started waving his hands in the air all frantically and just smiled a little with a tint of blush on his cheeks 

which you being the in the moment oblivious person you are, you assumed that he was just looking like that because of the recent cold weather 

“you really don’t have to! just you being there to help me out is enough, here let me help you but on the bracelet”

jinyoung walked up close to your and took the bracelet out of your hand and put it on your wrist for you, which btw made your heart start beating making your hope that he literally isn’t hearing your heart pounding out of your chest 

a week or two after that though jinyoung was absent for a while which you found out that he was really sick 

so you guys didn’t really go to cafe bc yknow jinyoung was at home resting and making sure that he wouldn’t make you sick the next time you guys met up to study 

and SOMEHOW you manage to forget jinyoungs birthday bc finals were finally coming up so you were literally on major study mode 

and the day it was jinyoung’s birthday he finally came back to school! but ofc you didn’t know it was jinyoung’s bday and no one really announced it to everyone during class so basically the whole day you were walking and doing your own thing around school not knowing it was his birthday 

but after school you were walking out and going home because you weren’t sure if you and jinyoung were still going to study at the cafe since he still looked a little sick when one of his friends walked up to you

“hey daehwi, what’s up?”

daehwi gave you a small smile and just shrugged before 

“nothing much but hey uh you know that jinyoung is waiting for you at the cafe already right?”

“what?!”

you stop walking and turn more towards daehwi 

“yeah it’s his birthday too, but i bet you remembered already. I just wanted to tell you that, see you later!”

daehwi literally speeds away from you as if he said something wrong and like triggered you 

which he did but like in the realization way 

so you immediately sprinted as fast as you could to the nearest store and bought a cake and happy birthday candles and grabbed a random flower crown that happened to catch your eye on the way out before paying

 arriving at the cafe you looked and noticed that jinyoung was quietly reading some books 

you sat down at a different table really quickly to set up the cake when jihoon looked over and gave you a weird look, making you wave him over

“i forgot something to light the candles! do you have anything?”

he shook his head which made you low key get mad at him because he could’ve just gone in the back of the cafe and there would probably be something there but it was fine 

getting up you walked over towards jinyoung with jihoon and started singing happy birthday which literally made him so shookt

after singing to jinyoung jihoon simply just walked away (bc he already wished jinyoung a happy birthday earlier lmao)

“happy birthday jinyoung! I wish i got you something better than a cake, i didn’t even get a match to light the candles”

he just chuckled and took the cake and put the flower crown on his head

“it’s okay Y/N just you being here to celebrate with me is a great present”

jinyoung looked at the cake and brought it close to his face 

“i’ll just pretend that the candles are lit”

he quickly blew them out and put the cake back down to look at you 

“you want to know what my wish was?”

“jinyoung if you say your wish it won’t-”

“my wish was that i hope you become my girlfriend today”

(damn low key smooth DHKJDS JKJK)

you were literally shocked speechless, there was nothing to say as you were literally expecting him to say something like 

“my wish is that you would light these birthday candles for me”

“a-are you serious jinyoung? is that really your birthday wish?”

he shakes his head in response and just smiles 

“i know you probably don’t feel the same way-”

“woah woah woah jinyoung who said i didn’t feel the same way?”

he looked from the cake to you with expectant eyes

“i like you too jinyoung, i’ve had a crush on you for the longest time i was just really surprised”

so now you were both in silence because now jinyoung is shocked that you actually like him because he thought this whole time you thought of him as a best friend that just so happened to be your study buddy but he was way off 

and you were literally waving your hands in front of him to get his attention but this boy still wasn’t reacting so you resorted to using the cake

you took some of the frosting and put it on his nose, which finally snapped him out of his shocked face 

“jinyoung your wish is for me to become your girlfriend right? well i think you should ask me first to make it official”

you gave him a huge smile and jinyoung could only smile in return as he sat up so that you guys were both eye to eye

“okay then well Y/N will you be my girlfriend while also studying with me in the cafe?”

smiling you nodded your head and pulled out your phone, angling it towards jinyoung 

“i’ll totally be your study buddy and girlfriend! now let me take a photo of you because you look really cute right now”

thank you for reading!

[makkeuga]

markhyuck prince/servant au

mark as a prince and hyuck as his servant and..... this is like headcanons i guess 

this is way too long jesus christ good luck 2 reading </33

- ok so mark would be the most admirable prince ever because he is so hard working and modest and kind and all the girls swoon over him tbh

- hyuck is his like... personal servant kinda?? who always wakes him up and makes him his bed and all so he isn't like too low in the hierarchy  

- mark's family didnt want a maid to do that stuff for him bc they dont want their perfect son to feel lust over any girl

- but as we all know, mark isnt really even interested in girls but we will get to that later

- okay so hyuck and mark are very close since hyuck was born to the castle too since his mom was a servant like him and they grew up together

- they are lowkey highkey best friends but !! they have to keep it low because its not suitable for a good boy like mark to hang out with people like donghyuck.

- mark always tells donghyuck his worries and opens up to him before going to bed and he would sit on the edge of his huge bed in his nightgown talking to him and donghyuck would pretend to do some last minute chores so he doesnt have to go just yet

- but of course he always has to go because mark is a prince and donghyuck is just a servant

- all the other boys bore mark so much. he has to attend these fancy ass dinners and all because well, duties, and the other children are just as dull as middle aged men or either too rebellious and talking down to others. mark isnt good at making friends in general even though his parents always tell him to so he tries

- and yet he is always thinking about donghyuck and comparing him to the other boys. donghyuck is always better, always more funnier and more understanding

- so when he gets back to his room donghyuck is waiting for him and mark is on the verge of tears (of frustration) and he almost tears off the fancy clothing he is wearing because its tough to be the perfect prince

- donghyuck would just sigh and take marks hand and rub his thumb over his knuckles and shake his head

- "they are all so horrible, i wish i could take you to those dinners instead"

- "i wouldn't be suitable for that anyway, you have to find a girl to marry who you will take as your companion"

- mark would just go all quiet and shrug his shoulders because mark wants no girl. he is quite convinced donghyuck is all he needs (and his parents, he loves them, really)

- he would also miss the sad look in donghyuck's eyes

- because all the girls swoon over mark but donghyuck is the one who really knows him and who really loves and admires him. not the perfect image but the real mark who gets his palms dirty when he falls off a horse and who whines like a child when he has to get up in the morning

- ok but in the mornings after hyuck has gotten up and ready, he goes to wake mark up. he sneaks carefully into his room and shuts the door and then is when he marches determinedly to the windows and opens the curtains to let the morning rays of sun in

- "good morning sunshine!" he'd yell to mark who would just turn on his side under the heavy blanket and well, whine and groan

- "it's time to rise and shine!" hyuck singsongs the same cliches every morning so it doesnt affect mark anymore so he just closes his eyes

- donghyuck walks to his bed and starts pulling the blanket off but mark just grabs (sleepily!!) donghyuck by his arm and tugs him into the bed next to him and just wraps his arms around the younger boy

- because sleepy mark is also very cuddly mark. its the same thing every morning and it makes donghyuck lose his marbles bc... no.... u cant do that.. ily my bro... thats whats he is thinking

- mark keeps his eyes shut but when he opens them donghyuck's face is so close and the sunshine coming thru the window is reflecting on his eyes and he just looks super beautiful like that and mark is kind of starstruck

- he gets the butterflies and all but he refuses to think about it so he just smiles and laughs with his voice kinda deep because its the morning. mark doesnt understand why donghyuck looks so flustered

- hyuck hits his head with his palm and sighs very loudly

- "you have to get washed up" and drags him up

- donghyuck has known for a very long time that he doesnt like mark only as a friend. he isnt even exactly sure when it escalated to that point bc mark just has always kind of been there and hyuck has seen him grow and mess up and all

- he is /super/ possessive of mark tbh but he never tells the older boy it. like in the whatever space where the servants and maids and all live he can hear the servant girls giggling about how handsome and perfect mark is and how they are jealous of the princess who gets to marry him and donghyuck goes all >:[

- so hyuck would just say something snappy or mean that mark wouldnt like girls like them bc !! he is so jealous !!! bc donghyuck isnt a girl and he is still just a servant after all and it makes him so mad

- donghyuck has some issues with anger management too like nothing super hardcore but anger makes him wanna break bricks

- so he just walks out and tries to find mark

- and like when he is walking somewhere with mark and he sees the girls hyuck just steps closer to mark and glares at them because the older boy is his

- even though he knows he isnt and it wont last but he wants to pretend!

- mark on the other hand had a long, long (ass) ride with realizing what he felt towards hyuck... like where hyuck realized it in their preteens mark only realized it just now as in like... age of 16

- its like... he never really felt attraction to girls anyways or it was always like "i guess they are pretty but thats it" where about donghyuck he was like "my beautiful intelligent funny understanding warm best friend" but it was always like !! best friend !! boys dont like boys !!

- like. highkey in denial

- but it was also bc he was quite young and all so he thought that he will have crushes on girls when he grows up. but he never does and at first he is kind of confused and scared bc everyone is talking abt he will feel strange things towards girls but he never does

- at some point he just puts the two together like... the feelings you should feel towards girls and what he feels towards donghyuck

- again it scares him bc mark is stuck to the stuff he has been taught to!!!

- but after a while he is like.. hyuck is my best friend and i dont wanna lose him bc of this.... so its okay.... and just accepts it (its tough but!!! he manages)

- he doesnt tell hyuck tho

- they both are highkey oblivious but the way they act is so boyfriend-ish anyways so they rlly wouldnt need a lot of chance

- sometimes when the duties and the life in castle gets too much mark asks hyuck to sneak him out

- when he did it for the first time hyuck was hesitant and kind of angry like "??? dont u realize i could get killed for doing this?????" but tbh hyuck is so whipped and cant say no to mark

- and now it happens more often

- mark loves the rush and excitement and seeing the normal life around the town and hyuck just loves to please mark (thats a lie, its not about pleasing but making him happy)

- mark wears a cloak with a hood and keeps his gaze down and narrows his shoulders to appear smaller. he holds donghyucks hand while they r walking on the cobblestone ground bc... he doesnt even have a reason he just wants to hold his hand

- donghyuck doesnt question it bc he doesnt want mark to stop either

- they always have a blast in the town and mark feels normal and ordinary which he likes

- but this time when they r drinking hot chocolate in a narrow street, sitting on a porch, mark doesnt let go of hyucks hand. he just keeps his fingers linked with his while looking away bc he is kinda embarrassed

- they finish their drinks in silence and mark is lowkey sad bc its getting late and they have to go soon but he isnt just ready to let the moment pass so he leans his head on hyuck's shoulder and goes like

- "i dont want this to end. i wanna be normal. with u" and hyuck feels so so so sad

- but they return to the castle, like always

- ok but its mark who confesses bc... he knows he has the upper hand if things would go wrong (which he doesnt wanna talk about)

- its after a fencing practice and mark is all sweaty and gross and covered in mud and mark is gonna take a bath and obviously hyuck is in the bathroom to help him

- but mark is still kind of high on adrenaline while being very exhausted so its a strange state of mind he is in and thats what leads to him just blurting it out (also that how pretty donghyuck looks with a little bit dirt on his cheekbone and messy hair)

- so mark just blurts it out like vomiting "donghyuckilikeyousomuchlikeishouldlikegirlsbutilikeyou"

- and donghyuck is like....excuse me

- like he heard it but ??!!!???!?!?!? his brain is yelling and screaming and he is like what

- mark is coming down to it too and almost taking it back but hyuck is raises his finger saying that shut up, let me think, so mark just stands there lowkey panicking

- "you like me?"

- "im sor---"

- "you, the prince, mark lee, like me?"

- "i didn't----"

- "shut the fuck up"

- and donghyuck just walks to him and kisses him but its not like boom lips on lips action but very careful and gentle and very very clumsy bc neither of them know what they r doing

- but yay! they both realize they love each other!

- also they know it wont be easy but........ they both agree that its worth a try

- and mark gets more of his morning snuggles

and im ending this here its almost 3am adios this was a ride i maybe will continue this someday who knows

[longliveustherecklessandthebrave]

Miraculous Ladybug angst

So I thought of this while ignoring my responsibilities and was like ,,,, think of the aNGST 

 -so marinette and chat get to discussing their feelings right and she tells him about adrien with out really telling him it’s adrien -chat (or adrien) being the oblivious sunchild that he is is like oh wow! Mari likes someone! that’s amazing! im sure they’re going to get together and be happy forever -he totally isn’t bummed that she has feelings for someone else -totally -so the next day mari is like yeah! im gonna do it! im going to tell him how i really feel! -and chat is so supportive and seeing her determination, he’s like maybe i should tell ladybug -but he doesnt say that -but mari gets up to talk to adrien and her usual stuttering occurs and she takes a deep breath and remember what chat told her he’s only human -adrien is lowkey freaking out because it’s him!! the guy marinette likes is him!  -mari tells him and he’s like ,, sorry mari i’m in love with someone else. and she’s devastated because she figured that he might reject her but she never thought that he’d be in love with someone else -she nods and with tears welling in her eyes she wishes him the best of luck with his love, and he wants to stop her from running away but this was for the best

-so mari is mad at chat bc he told her to go for it so instead of leaving her window open and unlocked like usual, she closes it and locks it. she hides in a blanket fort and turns up jagged stone’s most epic of rock ballads. on repeat. and she tries to ignore the rapping on her window of chat -eventually chat gives up and just goes through the front door up to her room and she’s mad -chat! you can’t just come up and bother me! i don’t want you here -and he’s like why did it not go well knowing full well how it went -she starts crying again and he wants to comfort her and tell her how much he’s sorry but what would he be sorry for right now he’s chat not adrien -mari it’s okay just move on and forget about him he’s not worth it -he is worth it don’t say that about him! -but he rejected you ,, shouldn’t it be time to move on? -she pulls the covers further over her head and turns up the music louder. chat, understanding the boundaries, leaves her be

-fast forward a week and chat keeps visiting her despite her protests  -he wants to make sure she’s okay -he tells her it’s because he doesn’t want her to be akumatized -she tells him this is heartbreak not revenge -he puts a sad smile on for comfort and each day she allows him to stay later -meanwhile at school adrien is worried about mari she lost focus of class with what little she had left and immersed herself into a sketch pad with maybe designs maybe cartoons he doesn’t know -he asks alya and she just shrugs and says it’s her way of coping -adrien feels guilty

-one night chat is over and mari is upside down on her bed her posters of adrien are gone from her wall and in the framed photo she had originally with adrien she replaced with one of her parents -chat never noticed his own modeling pictures covering the walls but he noticed when they were gone -had her walls always been this bare? -she was throwing up a ball in the air and catching it -he was next to her just casually talking about everything -adrien somehow gets brought up -he tries to not to notice the way she flinches -it’s ok im over him, she tries to tell him -he can tell she’s lying -oh? have you found someone else to love then? -i have -and who is this lucky lad? -he’s you -chat stops. not only has mari fallen for his civilian self but when she gets rejected she starts pining after his superhero self. if only she was ladybug that would’ve made it ten times more ironic but that was wishful thinking -she gets down from her bed to look at him -it’s you chaton, she says leaning in to kiss him -he kisses back for a brief second but red and black flashes through his mind and he pushes her off -mari we can’t not like this -but chat -you know i’m in love with ladybug -but chat -it isnt right youve only known me for a couple weeks -yeah, as marinette -what are you saying -it’s me, chaton. I’m your ladybug -adrien is lowkey pissed because not only is his superhero self, the one closest to his personality, second choice but mari is willing to lie to him to get him for herself -you’re just saying that -no im not  -you’re just saying that, marinette! you’re using my love for ladybug to get me to kiss you! -i’m not! I can prove it! -chat doesn’t stick around to hear her pleas  -he leaps out her window and is gone -marinette is left speechless, hopeless, wondering how in any way could the only two boys in the whole world choose someone else over herself, one  even chose herself over her -she sighs and gives up love for good

-chat doesn’t stick around after that -he doesn’t visit her -he doesn’t look for her -at least that’s what marinette thinks -he likes to look in her window -to see how she’s doing -he notices how bland everything has  gotten -with what was full of bright positivity has dulled into a grey sadness -he also noticed a shift in ladybug since that day but that was wishful thinking -he tries not to notice her in school looking at everything but the board and the teacher -he tries not to notice the once animated discussions he heard behind him had dwindled and not even alya’s excitement could bring her back to life -had he killed marinette?

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE I COULD ADD TO THIS SHOULD I MAKE IT A FIC IDK IM SCARED TO WRITE BECAUSE I ONCE TRIED TO WRITE FOR A BANDOM BUT LIKE I HAD LOST ALL MOTIVATION SO I DON’T WANNA DISAPPOINT LIKE I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST BUT PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK