#I READ HOMESTUCK IN LESS THAN A FUCKING MONTH

[borkb11]

I FINISHED READING HOMESTUCK

[dangerdayyys]

so sad that my homestuck speedrun ends in 5 days... im really gonna miss it...

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 2, Part 2/3 (p. 440-614)

Read the previous post here.

We pick up this second third of Act 2 by reading another section of Rose's GameFAQs walkthrough.

Credit where it's due, I like this section title.

Rose wants to know more about this hypothetical Pornsprite. This girl is freaky. Too bad Ao3 didn't go into open beta until a few months after Homestuck began, she would've been all about it.

Interesting how she only cites part of her guide as "logorrheic sludge." Honey, that's the entire guide. Brevity is not your strong suit.

Rose and Jade's first pesterlog. I'll use this as the jumping off point to talk about Jade since she has only appeared sporadically at this point and none of her logs were worth talking about.

Actually, she did have one log in Act 1 where she asks John about his present. The one interesting thing is that she apparently didn't know what Sburb was when John mentioned it.

So John, Rose, and Dave all knew about Sburb and none of them thought to tell Jade about it? Huh... guess that tells us a lot about the dynamics of their friend group.

Anyway, I realize this might be a "hot take" given her inexplicable popularity in the fandom, but I don't like Jade. And unlike with John, there never was a point where I did. I am of the mind that Homestuck would've been much stronger and have a tighter pace if she was cut from the cast of kids (or at least, this version of her. The story could also work if she had some heavy rewrites) and it was limited to John, Rose, and Dave. Rose and Dave alone make for an engaging pair, and I suppose John acts as a sort of "anchor" to ground their increasingly esoteric insincerity and bullshit. If he was fleshed out more, it definitely would've worked.

But Jade doesn't help with this dynamic at all. Like John, Jade is also much more grounded and sincere, but her personality is also coupled with an overwhelming optimism where she believes everything will be okay if left up to chance. If John is true neutral, Jade is 100% positive. He barely reacts to the otherworldly things happening to him, but she actively seems to enjoy them (the meteor crashing near her house is something she wants to explore regardless of the risk, and John struggling in Sburb is "exciting").

She doesn't serve as a convincing counterbalance to Rose and Dave and comes across as more of an extraneous extension of John's lack of danger sense than anything else. Do we really need two happy-go-lucky kids with slight variations on the same niche? The very fact that the story is able to progress without her involvement thus far shows just how little she matters.

These first two acts shroud her in so much mystery, and we barely know anything about her even through these sparse pesterlogs. (As we later see, this amounts to nothing, so all this intrigue is unfounded and only leads to an unsatisfying payoff). At this point in the story, we only know that she lives with her grandfather and someone named Bec (which Dave refers to as a "devilbeast"), she has a "goofy modus" which frustrates even Dave (who, mind you, mocked John for using a simple modus earlier), she lives in a far-off part of the world, and that she has some degree of inexplicable precognition.

Jade's cutesy cagey attitude about her precognitive abilities is fucking annoying, and it is perhaps the worst thing about reading her logs. "oh gee i know all this stuff but its a secret and you gotta find out on your own tee hee! :)" This truly is typical hackshit writing when handling characters with prophetic knowledge. You can't make them too useful, or else there won't be suspense or conflict. Instead they have to act as a ineffectual plot device to softly guide the characters along. Except she doesn't do any guiding. She just unhelpfully alludes to things that the others don't know yet and leaves it at that.

In fact, Jade as a whole is less of a character and more of a plot device, by which I mean she doesn't have any sort of character to speak of. Her overbearing cheerfulness is not endearing to read, neither is her dropping hints that she knows more about what she lets on. She doesn't have any entertaining chemistry with the others either. Her interactions with John are like watching two morons acting excited with each other while the world is literally ending around them. Dave intentionally strips himself of his personality because he has a crush on her and wants to impress her by being "nice," but she doesn't seem to reciprocate his feelings at all. Also, come on, dude, Rose is right there.

Rose is the only one who shows any scrutiny about Jade's "quirky" clairvoyance. But even so, she only expresses this through occasional, bemused remarks. Jade dodges the question whenever Rose asks how she knows about things she realistically shouldn't, and Rose doesn't ever press further.

So Rose had prior knowledge about a game that will bring her cat to life. We later find out that this opportunity to revive Jaspers was her her motivation for playing Sburb. Doesn't seem worth ending the world for, but whatever. I daresay this casts Jade in a bit of a villainous role for planting the idea in Rose's head in the first place.

Actually, if Jade ended up being a twist villain, that would've been interesting and provide, you know, intrigue! Or if nothing else, it would've at least added something of substance to her character, something she desperately needs. Even ignoring that angle, you'd think the other kids might be more than a little resentful toward Jade since she knew the world was going to end, yet never told any of them about it.

But no, Hussie can't implement anything that would've been conducive to good storytelling. Especially if it leads to, gasp, conflict!

Okay, enough of Jade, let's get moving.

I want to bring attention to this passage and compare it to the earlier "symphony impossible to play" one with Rose. First of all, it's worth noting the rain/drought contrast between their respective settings. Unlike the more elegant and cerebral prose in Rose's section, this one reads more like a stream of consciousness from Dave's perspective. Loose and casual, even ending with a Snoop Dogg-esque rhyme at the end before transitioning to an actual Snoop Dogg verse.

Yeah, for those who haven't caught on, John Keats didn't actually say that. Very easy to miss, I'm sure. For those counting, this is also misattributed quote gag #5. I am positively rolling with laughter.

I find it noteworthy the room where Bro has his whole setup is stated to be the living room, not a bedroom. I'm quite certain that the Striders live in a one-bedroom apartment where Dave gets the room and Bro has all his shit in the living room and kitchen.

Dave's relationship with Bro is an inverse of John and Rose's relationships with their guardians. Whereas Dad and Mom decorate their homes with shit they think their kids will like in order to seek their approval, Bro isn't doing any of this for Dave's sake. He fills his home with his puppets and weapons because he's the one into that shit (ironically or otherwise, it doesn't matter). Dave in turn adopts Bro's mannerisms because he craves his approval.

The amount of mental hoops he needs to make in order to justify his brother's fixation on sex and puppets is concerning. Is Bro even being "ironic" or is that just an excuse he tells Dave so he doesn't have to explain this stuff any further? I think the love of Lil Cal, his childhood possession and best friend, led to a love of puppets being a core part of his personality. Everything else that extends from that is up to interpretation.

Like Dave, Bro is also a hipster doofus who does things seen as patently "uncool" in a bold display of being unique. The logic is such: a disregard for what society deems "cool" is what leads to it becoming "cool" ironically. At a glance, Bro's interests include typically "cool" things like ninja weapons, video games, and rapping. Bro plays with expectations by using these interests, which he may very well only enjoy ironically, in conjunction with puppets, which he loves genuinely but passes them off as ironic since most people deem them creepy and uncool. Applying a sexual element to the puppets makes an interest in them even creepier, so Bro does so if only to make his love for them appear even more ironic.

Convoluted and confusing? Yeah, that's Bro Strider, baby.

I don't know how necessary it was to show just how Dave gave Lil Cal a fist bump, but I do like this panel. One of the few reminders we get that these characters are, in fact, small children.

Bro's 6-character password is "puppet" right? It has to be. (Correction: a helpful anon has informed me that the password is actually "lilcal"). Also, just like his home, his desktop organization is also a mess. There's no method to this man's madness.

For all the negligence and questionable parenting methods Bro is guilty of, he still cares for Dave in some capacity. He stays up to date on his webcomic and blogs, and even hangs up one of Dave's SBaHJ drawings on the fridge. I wonder if Bro, on some level, likes the idea of raising a kid that he can raise to be just like him, but is just a woefully inept guardian that he doesn't know the first thing about parenting.

Remember, these are the kinds of websites Rose says she likes.

Just gonna say perhaps it's not ideal that Dave is being exposed to this kind of thing at such a young age. As much as he idolizes Bro and wants to emulate him, he can't get over the fact that all this sex stuff disturbs him. Yet he doesn't even view it as sexual, only as a form of irony, one he can't comprehend until he can somehow overcome his aversion toward it. It's kinda sad, really.

Unsettled, Dave's first recourse is to talk to John to try and calm down. John leaves him hanging. Such a good friend, am I right? He then goes to Rose, where they have the earlier conversation where she says she likes Bro's websites, but this time we get added context.

Dave of course is attempting to act casual about the whole thing, only slightly alluding to his deeper distress, and Rose is just like "That shit rules. I like it." This whole exchange is both tragic and darkly comedic.

Rose really does come across as a little pervert sometimes. She casually drops sexually charged phrases in conversation ("sun's lurid glare"), her username is a lewd double entendre (tentacle the... I'll let you finish that phrase), and she does show a marked interest in sexual topics (Bro's websites, the Pornsprite... honestly I'm surprised she doesn't suggest that to Dave at any point).

Both she and Dave play with innuendo and act as though they're mature and know all about sex. However, Dave's attitude toward sex is more a response to his exposure to it at a young age, whereas Rose is more casual about it and sees her flippant attitude toward it as a mark of maturity. She must love treating sex as this trivial little thing that might make others uncomfortable, but not her because she's soooo grown up.

Also, if Rose truly did give a shit about psychoanalysis, she probably would've picked up on Dave's cries for help in his messages. She really isn't as perceptive as she lets on.

Thank you, Rose, for saying what I was thinking.

Rose gets a kick out of Dave's webcomic and laughs when John makes references to it. Also, she doesn't tell John about what Dave told her earlier about the puppets when he mentions it. How nice of her. John is a fucking jackass though. Seriously, fuck him.

I'm putting a pin in this for later. Rose being able to "see only [...] what John can see, or has seen already" will be important to note later on.

Another tragicomic exchange where Rose continues to make light of Dave's distress. I wonder if she is incapable of seeing Dave as being sincere in this moment and thinks he's overreacting as a part of their usual back-and-forth.

Here it is. My favorite Homestuck page.

Dave wants to please Bro and goes along with his shtick no matter how far he pushes the envelope. This only encourages Bro to go further and further in his methods of fucking with Dave. Is his end goal to push Dave to a breaking point, or does he truly hope something with click that will make Dave truly understand him? Either way, it's fucked up.

I didn't want to get into Bro Discourse during this reread. I know there are opposing camps who either think he's a monstrous child abuser, or a silly guy who did no wrong. Personally, I think that while he doesn't read as outright malicious, it's safe to say this dude is a menace and has no business raising a kid.

It's really skeevy of Bro to incorporate his underage brother in his fetish videos, which will doubtless be uploaded to his site for others to view. This is probably the one of the more damning things he's guilty of.

Bro has reduced the kitchen as a storage space for his weapons. It's a wonder how he's able to take care of himself, let alone a child.

It's stated that Bro doesn't have anywhere else to store his stuff, which further reinforces my theory that Dave has the only bedroom in the apartment.

Yes. Thank you. One can only watch characters launch objects at high speeds for so long.

Dave's sylladex shenanigans are a little more tolerable than John's. Assigning different names to objects in order to make them fit in the modus is more fun than watching things eject once the deck is full.

This metaphor caught me off guard. It's so abrupt and out of pocket, I love it.

Shit's about to go down. Let's see how things resolve when I finish Act 2 next week.

Read the next post here.

[funshinebf]

9 people you'd like to know better

tagged by @pso2 !! ty for the tag ^_^

a) three ships:

1) rn def vashwood. theyve given me diseases and disorders aplenty. genuinely thinking about them 24/7. its becoming a problem.

2) komahina. when i first watched a sdr2 playthrough in middle school i was like "wow i like these guys. kinda gay!" and ever since then i get like yearly Waves of thinking about them for a few weeks straight. and then they go back into the depths of my brain for another few months and the cycle starts again. shits insane

3) spideypool. bites them bites them bites them. nobody gets them except for me and my friends and a select few artists/writers

a1: bonus ships:

serirei... save me serirei. its about the two men. running a business. its just business

millymeryl of course. i would kill for them. milly thompson character of all time and oghhh meryl stryfe my beloved

b) first ever ship:

um... okay so. first ship i called a ship and like looked up content for online? john/dave from homestuck. also there is a very clear path from me discovering the ship of them leading to me discovering my transgenderness. thank you johndave for transing my gender sort of 👍

c) last song:

Your Love Is It Real? by doubleVee. grouhghh

d) last movie:

trigun badlands rumble. ive watched it like three times and will probably do so again at some point. and thats even less times than ive rewatched the two trigun serieses

e) currently reading:

idk about books ill be honest i dont read enough books... im sorry everyone ive failed you. BUT ive been rereading the trigun fic "come and see" by avoidingavoidance on ao3. very good fic, long as fuck and STILL GOING. would die for this fic

f) currently watching:

trigun. its always gonna be trigun for the next like year at least. i just sit around rewatching the two trigun serieses all the time. its been like this for like over 6 months straight now. lol

g) currently consuming:

i dontt know 😭 like eating? im not eating anything rn.. i had a slice of pie at my grandma's house earlier though and that shit was good

h) currently craving:

sushi... save me sushi.... save me....

9 people to tag: oh fuck this is the hard part. mods help help hep help. uhhhh @herrscher-of-yuri @kazumahashimoto @sungsuho @transpool @co27 @fecto @gigantomachylesbian @orcelito and anyone else who would want to do this?? (also no one feel pressured 2 do this, hope it was okay i tagged u!! ^_^)

i made an easily copy/paste-able version of this too btw im putting that under a cut lol

9 people you'd like to know better

tagged by:

a) three ships:

a1: bonus ships:

b) first ever ship:

c) last song:

d) last movie:

e) currently reading:

f) currently watching:

g) currently consuming:

h) currently craving:

9 people to tag:

okie bye ily 🫶

[chrisrin]

in the past month i have now officially read all of:

mc escher that’s my favorite mc

alternate universe

and i JUST finished all of dayvhe’s broken diamond club

i think that’s like. a little less than 3 million words of unda homestuck fanfiction in the past month. holy FUCK. 

[cyvonix]

Cyv Reads Homestuck - The Final Wrapup

This is my last post for the main comic, covering all of Act 6 Act 6 as well as Act 7.

God I feel like I have so much to say but no way to properly put it into a neat little bow so it might be a little more like me just rambling passionately. Hey that's like the perfect allegory for Homestuck.

Anyway if you just want the TL;DR for how I'm feeling overall, I feel it should almost go without saying I fucking loved this story. I can say with complete certainty that it has been a landmark in media I've consumed and will assuredly alter the way I consume things moving forward. In the several months it's taken me to finish, I've grown so attached to this story and these characters, and despite any qualms I may have with it (and trust me, there are plenty) I think it is a wonderfully creative and excellent piece of art that I'm going to continue loving for a long time. It does so many things I've never seen a work like this do before, and it takes advantage of its format in so many masterful ways that it ends up a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of so many styles and mediums that makes it truly stand on its own as something special. As I prepare to read the continuation of the official content and assuredly follow various fan adventures, fan projects, art, music and all of these amazing things that have spawned from this, I just want to make it as clear as possible: I cannot overstate the positive impact this weird little webcomic has had on me.

So that's that. I think now I probably wanna get a bit more into the nitty gritty stuff and delve into some of my more specific opinions. Here's the problem: I have a fuck ton. Seriously, if I were to properly articulate all the thoughts I have on this work, we would be here all god damn day and I would get tired of typing and you would get tired of scrolling. So I'm just gonna kind of go with the flow and go where my brain wants to go with this post. I figure I should probably get some complaints out of the way first, because I don't wanna end this on a sour note, but I do wanna mention them, because Homestuck does certainly have its problems:

Pretty obviously, the early comic was entrenched in a 2000s edgy forum culture that made it a little cringe to read sometimes. The ableist language that was liberally used as well as pretty distasteful jokes pertaining to race and sexuality make some of these early sections age a bit like milk. Fortunately, this takes a massive dip after around Act 4, but it still lingers a while after, and it obviously didn't ruin anything for me and isn't like, EGREGIOUS, but it still makes me think like man I wish this stuff wasn't here because it adds nothing and feels so out of place in the current day.

Speaking of race, and specifically racial representation, oops! There's none! I know, I know, I know. "Aracial". And that's all well and good in theory, but it's pretty obvious that Hussie wrote these characters from a decidedly white perspective and as a result that's just naturally how they read, despite any excuse he used to try making for it. And that in itself isn't some massive problem, just a note on the authorial bias at play. But then the only ones who don't read as white? The violent one who uses broken, obviously uninformed AAVE, and the japanese schoolgirl who speaks in bad japanese and wears cute little stereotypical outfits and is constantly sexualized. All I'm saying is, come on man, we can do better.

Hey look we reached the part where I rant about the dancestors. I mean what do I even have to say. Why did they even exist ??? Meenah is the only one who ended up being interesting in any meaningful way, and I guess Aranea even though I didn't feel particularly positive about her and her place in the story even after everything had happened. The rest were less interesting than the original 12, less funny than the original 12, and way more annoying and surface-level than the original 12. Seemingly on purpose. So I thought oh ok, this story hasn't let me down with this kinda stuff yet, so let's give it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this is for some bigger reason, maybe it's essential that they're in the story for later, maybe we'll get some actual development and I'll turn around on them. I was wrong to do so. They're nothing. They are nothing characters. Even what seemed like it should've been something - Kurloz working with Gamzee - just kinda never got elaborated on and faded into the background. So then. Why. Why are they here? Why do they exist? Why did you make me spend hours meeting them? Genuinely felt like a total waste of time and you could take out that entire section from the story and lose effectively nothing. Worst part of the comic by far.

The pacing of this story can be rough. And I'm not gonna spend a lot of time on this point, because reading this archivally and knowing it was updated serially in small bursts over time, it makes total sense and I honestly excuse it for the most part. Buuuut that doesn't mean it's not noticeable sometimes that the comic will go through dry spells that can sorta be slogs to get through, and then follow with most breakneck pace you could imagine immediately after, and is always undulating between these two modes. Eh.

Those are really the only big negative things I have to say. Well, sorta. I think the rest will mostly be positive, but I... hm. I think that... ok let's talk about the ending.

First of all, Act 7. Wow. just holy shit. I've jokingly been calling Homestuck a shonen anime since like Act 4 but ???? god DAMN dude that was fucking incredible. Never would I expect actual, traditional animation from a Homestuck flash, and it was so satisfying as a final animation. That being said, I feel a bit... conflicted about the context surrounding the ending? For the record, the actual ending itself, like the last moments of the comic, I think are lovely and thematically feel super appropriate. Seeing Caliborn basically transform into Lord English is that one final time loop after a series of hundreds of time loops, finally finishing itself off. And all the while, the kids break the cycle. No more loops of destruction and rebirth and destrucion again. They won, not in the sense that they beat the big bad guy and saved the day, but in a much more poignant way; they stopped this whole fucking thing from ever happening again. I genuinely do love it. It feels appropriately existential for Homestuck, but not quite cynical. It's an ending of death and rebirth. Hopeful at its core.

I think there are a few reasons I feel a little odd about it. First is that, just tbh, I think we were introducing way too many characters way too fucking late. I mean we basically just met Davepetasprite, who is a fucking joy btw, and then BAM ending. This means that most of these later additions to the cast don't get to have much impact on the ensuing events, and even if they do, it's not as emotionally resonant as these other characters we've had plenty of time to learn about and grow to love. I would never insinuate Homestuck should be EVEN LONGER, but it does feel a bit like just throwing the fandom a few last bones to be like here! Write some fics about these peeps! But I would've wanted more actual in-universe development and narrative relevance, otherwise I just don't get a whole lot from it.

The other thing that just feels a little... idk, odd? is that I just still have no fucking clue what Vriska did to LE with the weapon, or even like, what happened to LE or Vriska. I guess maybe they're both going to die anyway because of alt-Calliope basically ripping apart this entire continuity with the black hole, but I don't know that for sure. And since Act 7 was only the single flash, I don't feel like I have much to even go on in terms of theorizing about it. The credits did like, a liiiittle more in that department I guess?? (btw those were adorable and I loved them a lot) But even then it feels like even THOSE are opening new questions as much as answering old ones. Is Vriska who Terezi is looking for? Otherwise why is Terezi the one venturing out there? Can they just come and go as they please despite the black hole? There are so many things that are completely unanswered.

I guess my main point is that the ending just felt really abrupt, cutting off a lot of plotlines that I thought were actually gonna go somewhere, and inconclusive. And maybe it's meant to be. In fact I'm almost certain it's meant to be. But the problem lies in that it does not feel inconclusive in a "up to your interpretation" way, but more in a "literally not concluded" way. Like it wasn't actually finished telling its story. I'll put it this way: the ending feels like a big awesome season finale, but not a series finale. And I know that the post-canon sequel content exists, but it seems like the fans and those works themselves distance themselves so much from the original comic that it makes it seem like that feeling wasn't the intention, so it's just really strange.

So much for not having any more negative things to say lol. Sorry. But all in all I do still largely enjoy what I got from this ending, I just hate that it feels like it was cut short or something.

Let's balance all that out by talking about some cool shit!!! I'm just gonna spitball some of my favorite things about this comic, whether in this reading section or just overall:

The art is so good!! All of Act 6 Act 6, especially the last several updates, is so immaculately rendered. I can see why this basically became *the* Homestuck style moving forward, because it's just so pleasing to look at and captures the characters in a great way. Speaking outside of specifically this section and more generally, I adore how loose Homestuck is with its art. Hussie seemed to just pick and choose whatever style would properly represent the events at hand, and it ends up being so awesome in a way that's unbound by things like staying on-model or being consistent because it's just pure expression. Plus, the constant guest art is fuckin amazing, not only because most of it is genuinely incredible in its own right, but also because Homestuck is such a wildly community-driven experience that it only feels natural to let other talented artists make their own mark on the story. It started early on and continued being a thing all the way until the end and I love love love that.

The metatextual elements of this story are so fascinating to me. Unfortunately this is one of those things I thought was gonna be expanded on a bit more by the end, but what's there is still great. I like that it goes so far beyond "fourth wall" jokes and nods to the audience. The way the characters directly interact with the narrator, the story structure, and even the website itself, is so much more interesting. Beyond being simply fun, it manages to raise so many interesting questions about the very art of fiction. What authorship means, the responsibilities of it, the follies of poor authorship, the interaction between an audience and fictional characters, the way character voice can be used to convey tone, all this and so many more things are tackled as actual in-universe concepts that can be materially tinkered with to varying results. I could genuinely write other entire posts about the way this story discusses a lot of meta concepts.

The way this comic uses its medium to its advantage is unparalleled. I just always appreciate when a story is so thoroughly connected to its medium that it would become something else if adapted, and this is certainly one of those stories. The way that the style of narrative prompt itself can convey something about what you're reading, the banners and menus being shifted, changed, obscured, and otherwise altered to add an entire new element to the experience of reading the story, the colors of the website, the way characters and items aren't necessarily bound to the frame of the panel, the way the very act of clicking on a link to go to the next page is made to be a central part of the experience, ALL OF IT... I can't call it anything other than masterful. (Ok I'm sorry to throw yet another complaint in here but I was fully expected A6A6A6 to continue this trend and basically be a huge amalgam of all these website-bending tricks we'd come to know so I was a liiiiittle disappointed when it was just a youtube video).

The character writing, often times, is phenomenal. Even from the beginning, the way character voice was so strong was impressive and fun, but as I got later into Act 6, and especially A6A6, some of the long-running character traits, flaws, and storylines finally came to a cathartic close in mostly really great ways. Some obvious highlights: Dave, in too many ways to count tbh, whether it's him grappling with destiny/heroism/things of that nature, realizing he's not straight, coming to terms with his bro's treatment of him, reconnecting to his authentic interests, so many things about Dave are so insanely amazingly done. Of course Dirk is an interesting character as well, with many questions brought up concerning mortality, control, self-loathing, and other pretty heavy stuff. Hooray for alt-Vriska getting some justice lmao. Her and alt-Terezi finally finding peace in themselves and comfort in each other in the afterlife is like almost too beautiful to not make me wanna cry. Again, like with the meta stuff, I could write entire posts about various characters and the awesome ways they're written, but I'll leave it here for now.

I think... maybe that's all I have for now. Maybe. I have a multitude of thoughts, big and small, and there was absolutely 0 chance I was gonna fit them all in here or even remember all of them. But there you have it.

Hey would you look at that. Homestuck's good!

Not perfect, as I feel I've made perfectly obvious. But good. Full of passion. Full of care. An exceptional work of art and a unique phenomenon that will likely never be replicated. I'm so, so happy to have finally experienced it. So that's me signing off on my very last liveblog post for the original comic... Damn. Thanks to the people who've been so interested in seeing me take this journey and those of you who have contributed to the discussion, it definitely made it more special for me and I appreciate it.

Thanks For Playing <3

.........

For those of you wondering, no, this liveblog as a whole isn't necessarily over. I know the post-canon content (still don't understand why it's even called that) is contentious for many, and I feel like I've seen opinions ranging from people saying it's some of the best stuff released for Homestuck, all the way to saying it literally ruined the whole thing for them because of how bad it is. So clearly, this is some controversial shit I'm about to get into. But yes, I am indeed, getting into it. I'm going to keep this liveblog going, and at the very least, I'm going to get through the Epilogues, and what is currently released of Beyond Canon. If I really find it as atrocious as some people seem to, I guess no promises that I will continue reading and posting about it after that. But I gotta know. I need to see for myself and come to my own conclusions. And I'm taking you all with me.

Cyv Reads The Homestuck Epilogues coming to a theatre near you some time soon.

[hydrate-or-diedrate]

Day 3 of reading homestuck wahoo

Casually defiles tomb

Oh goodness, Grandma clown ghost returns

MORE MUSIC HELL YEAH

Wow Nanna you sure are good at expositing

Yeah shadow dude go learn some etiquette, if the boy does not want cookies he shan't have cookies smh

I still barely know who GG is but they seem either sweet or weird as hell

Yeah Dave, I also wonder why it's hot, who could possibly know

Cal teleported I say we burn him

I do not appreciate the puppet ass it's too much ass not gET rid of it

NOT THE PIANO ROSE PLEASE SPARE IT

I have to know if there's an actual scoreboard for this green slime pogo ride lmao

NOT THE PIANO NOOOOO

Is life truly worth living if you don't have a piano in your place of residence, be it grand, upright, electric, or otherwise? I think not.

A broken piano IS the end of the world, Rose!

It's okay Nannaquin, I would eat your cookies oh woah maybe I wouldn't sorry Nanna I won't touch them I don't wanna get blasted

Aww, shadow dude learned his manners

Rose darling I beg of you to stop making holes in the house

Hell yeah baby eat those books

Proboscalypse

I'm gonna guess that 02-49-13 is either completely useless like John thinks or is gonna end up being important

Is that a very large clown

I appreciate Cal even less than the clowns and the puppet ass and the ghostbusters desktop combined he is truly awful

I want to ask if the dog named Rowlf in Dave's brother's comic is a reference to rowf of plague dogs/the lapine language of watership down but I'm scared of the answer and also don't think it goes that deep and oh hey a saw trap

Why oh why does the puppet have blood

THE BROTHER

I'm imagining these puppets falling onto Dave to the tune of "Lacrimosa"

Oh my gosh spring ghost hammer

Why hello there Toby Fox, a pleasure to see you here

So you see, I've gone over my 200 page daily quota I've set for myself to ensure I don't end up taking months to read this, but now I want to keep reading >:/ hmmm

Keep reading it is

Uh oh farewell generator and farewell Rose

Look the thing warned me to be prepared for major character death so I'm trying not to get too attached even though I know I will anyway

BIG CLOWN BOSS BATTLE

CRUDE OGRES I see

Goddammit Dave

Double psyche?

Hello Wayward Vagabond!

URANIUM FUCK YEAH! You know how many calories are in that much uranium? A LOT

FUCK YES CAL HATH BEEN RIPPED IN TWAINE GOOD RIDDANCE

How much time do we spend with the vagabond I am eager to watch John fight things

I recognize the shape on that pumpkin from years of homestuck fanart that I've scrolled past without paying any mind its the horned dude(s?) isn't it

Serenity the firefly is the best character no I don't take criticism

Oh THAT kind of ascend

Are those squirtle glasses

Oh my gosh that's the end of act 2

I'm not gonna lie, I really like this. I thought I wasn't going to but I'm enjoying myself very much :)

[cainightfics]

hello! i think i remember you saying you have a degree in english (if i hallucinated this, please feel free to disregard this ask). this is probably a very silly question, but do you find what you learned from your degree to be helpful when writing fics? or is it mostly not applicable to what you write? anyway, i hope you're doing well! i really like your mr robot works! :)

yeah i do have an english degree!! wow i cant believe u remember that lol. to be honest im lazy as hell and really slacked off throughout my degree... like i read maybe half of the stuff i was assigned lmfao 💀 despite this i managed to get really good grades, graduate with honours, get into a top grad school etc. i was always wayyyy more interested in theory than in literature itself. honestly i think a lot of the "greatest books of all time" people usually mention are either straight up trash or at least overrated as hell. i didnt really learn much from them writing-wise.

the big thing that got me into writing was roleplaying, actually. i used to be in the homestuck fandom (lol) and i was on either msparp or cherubplay every fucking day from ages 13-16. i was addicted to roleplaying lol, i probably wrote like 3-5k words everyday back then. i started writing fanfic but not publishing it around that time as well, and then wrote my first berserk fics around 16-17, which is how i got started on ao3.

in middle school/most of high school, me and my best friend were NOTORIOUSLY the most lazy people in our grade. like she literally pretended to have a learning disability throughout all of elementary school because she didnt want to do any work lol. anyways, in high school, i would literally arrive at school, sleep through my first class, skip the rest of my classes until lunch by either hiding in the library reading fanfic/manga or (if it was warm enough) SLEEPING OUTSIDE ON THE FIELD LMFAOOO, go to lunch, go to my english class in the afternoon (only class i liked), and then spend the rest of the afternoon at starbucks on my laptop roleplaying. i think i had like 90 absences in my first semester of grade 9 lol. i really didnt take school seriously because i knew i could just study for 30 mins before a test and get an A, so my grades were always high anyway-- and then i let my friend (the aforementioned extremely lazy one) copy off me so she didnt flunk out of school.

anyway, in grade 10 the teachers started to get sick of my shit. by this point i was pretty brazen about how much i didnt give a shit about school-- i would bring a blanket to school to nap with, showed up to class drunk, sold cigarettes to people in the parking lot, all sorts of shit. one day i was sleeping in the library and i woke up to the principal standing over me telling me he needed to see me in his office. they basically gave me an ultimatum: either i got my shit together and started putting in effort, or they'd have to start giving me suspensions until i was eventually expelled. i really considered dropping out of highschool at this point. instead, i did all my remaining classes needed to graduate through this online course site-- i did about 2 years of school in 2 months lol. i applied to university on a whim and got in. i was 16 when i started university.

in uni, my schedule changed drastically, and i had less time to roleplay. this is when i started writing fanfics. im not sure if i have a "style" or anything really (maybe you could tell me if i do), but any skill i have with writing comes from those years of roleplaying + lots of fanfic reading. id say the only thing (writing-wise) i really learned from my degree is how to proofread for grammatical errors and what i DONT like/find to be lazy writing.

sorry lol i feel like i always do some bigass story about my life whenever i answer these lol. but thanks for the ask!

[adastra-j69]

I'm trying so hard to just make notes about things I want to write until I fully finish my Homestuck re-read, because it's been So Long, but this list just keeps growing and I am too busy to finish my re-read quickly. I am so ready to go fucking feral. Like look at this shit. This has been less than 2 months of ideas.

[lotarclasspects]

Okay I have to continue this Blog

Hello everyone still following me, it has been just short of 8 million years since I last actually put any activity on this old thing. For a variety of reasons. I've been delving into Classpecting since the far off year of 2015 and it is now 2024. Jesus where did all that time go. My absence was due to a number of reasons. Time, other things. Life. And keeping up an ancient classpecting blog wasn't really on the top of my to do list. It kind of has never been, this blog has always been very sporadic. But something changed. I had an interesting dream.

Despite always being kind of on the DL, every few months or years I get back in to classpecting again, for the very reason I got into it in the first place. I am not actually, the Seer of Mind (probably) In truth, I still, after 9 years, do not actually know what mine is. Of course I've had theories. Lots of theories. But every single one of them lead back to two main points 1. It's always been easier for me to read other people than it has been to read myself 2. I did not, for many years, actually know what the fuck Classpects, Mythological Roles, were supposed to be. And of course, if you make a conclusion based off a shaky foundation of evidence, one cannot be surprised about it changing in the future. But what has always fascinated me about Classes and Aspects are that in a story which is filled to the brim with ideas of choices and actions and there being a million ways one can live a life, different choices resulting in entirely different relationships and roles etc etc... The Classpect Never changes. Over the course of an entire lifetime, in every alternate timeline, in every universe. A character is born with it. And a character Dies with it. It is supposed to encapsulate not just a character's current standing or current choices, but represents a blanket definition for all of their growth, their entire arc. Do they need to become more Active to realise their best self, learn to step back? Learn to be in control? The Classpect, even if they're not there yet, represents the core of who they are. It goes hand in hand with the Epilogues' idea of the Ultimate Self. However in our world this is just a silly classification system from a very wonderful and complex piece of fiction. And we're real people and we don't have arcs. Hence my true class and aspect have eluded me. But that won't stop me from trying. I've been reading Homestuck again, and making more theories, and putting them all in a weird little private discord channel and talking about them to my friends who've barely read the thing and I've decided that even if my posts are briefer than they've been in the past or are less essay-ish. Perhaps someone will benefit from my take on the Wonderful World of Homestuck Classes and Aspects t.m. I mean why not, right?

But another thing that has changed, is that I firmly believe, that even if it isn't stated outright, all the evidence we need to fill the gaps in our collective knowledge, is in the text. If not outright stated, it can be inferred, or it is implied by another character. There have been many assumptions made in the classpecting community, and theories and analyses built upon those assumptions. Which is fine. But my personal theories have long since drifted from the mainline fanon collective (sparked by my ancient fued with Inversion Theory) but perhaps they would help diversify the current climate and spark more conversations. I guess that's also my goal. In the end, since Classes and Aspects are in a story and we're real people, you can choose anything you'd like for yourself. But if you'd like to hear my take... follow I guess?

(More posts to come)

-teapotTrickster

[chronotopes]

also (in my meme catch-up game) i saw this and it looked fun as fuck. gonna do it separately for a) my eight published homestuck fics, and b) every personal essay i wrote for my cnf seminar/this school year but not for the seminar

rules:

list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all)

see if there are any patterns

choose your favorite opening line

tag some people to play the next round

AO3: 

1. “In other words, please be true”: 

“I’m going to remind you of something you learned long ago, so long ago that you’re gonna laugh at me for bringing it up. The Terran First Law of Motion.”

2. AIVIDE THE PREQUEL

You decide early on that part of you will remember it forever: a bright day in icelock, far enough at the end of the quarter that the winds have started picking up on some days.

3. “the truth must dazzle gradually (or every man be blind)”

Day has crept up towards nighttime and overtaken it when your Trollian pings.

4. CHOICELESS HOPE

The Furthest Ring collapses.

5. “It’s only a canvas sky”

Shortly after turning twelve years old, following a solid two months of work and a few years of reading opaque manuals, you are finally able to activate the long range communicator.

6. “smile all night at somebody new”

Night has settled across the rooftops of the Troll Kingdom.

7. And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know

Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you are trying your best.

8. “in each small grief”

VRISKA: Not g8nna lie, now that you've put it to me like that, the whole thing is pretty fucked up.

CNF: 

1. “Attack left falls short”

I show up late to my first fencing practice.

2. “It Never Was Worthwhile”

I got into folk music in the fall of 2016.

3. “Ghost Catalogue”

I would like to tell a story about the summer that I do not remember.

4. “Several ongoing lists” (Guild of the Infant Savior by Megan Galbraith imitation)

There is an artistic no-man’s-land between creator and created.

5. “The Seventh-Best Swordsperson South of the Mountains” (Body Drop by Brian Oliu imitation)

With proper training, Draco Rizlak is destined to become the seventh-best swordsperson south of the mountains.

6. “A Grand Palatial House of the Old South” (In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado imitation)

My college’s Residence Life page describes the dorm I lived in in sophomore year, my college’s only higher-class all-women’s dorm, the same exact way that it did the year I moved in.

7. “On Taking the Waters” (Hall of Waters by Camellia-Berry Grass imitation)

Broadly speaking, the old came to Bath for health and the young for love and money.

8. Senior Spring, A Flash Essay Series

Brown-tinged sand and storm-disturbed sky; the sea is a sort of dirty gray.

9. A Decade Ends on [REDACTED] Street

In a slowly-descending October darkness, a chill settles over [REDACTED] Street, chills that settle every semester in cycles, chills that years of different people the same age flee from to the same warmly lit bookshop.

10. What Ceremony Else? (Funeral Notes)

Truth is crueler at times than effective creative nonfiction.

TAKEAWAYS: 

1. There are only two ways I know how to start fiction: a) dialogue, and b) weather/seasons/time of day. We knew this! Well, and Dirk POV in Canvas Sky, which is an outlier. “The Furthest Ring collapses” and “Night has settled over the rooftops of the Troll Kingdom” are probably my favorites. One day I will write a first sentence for Aivide the Prequel that doesn’t suck ass.

2. I hate a lot of my CNF first sentences. They are way too lofty and not materially-grounded enough. I love “With proper training, Draco Rizlak is destined to become the seventh-best swordsperson south of the mountains.” for how weird it is and how delayed the leadup to what the fuck I’m talking about is; for the same reason I like “Brown-tinged sand and storm-disturbed sky; the sea is a sort of dirty gray.” I have very mixed feelings on items 10, 7, 4, and 3. I think metaphysics are hard to do well. But if I had to keep one and obliterate the others, I’d keep 10 in a heartbeat.

3. If you feel like doing this you should do it!!

[vagabond-sun]

ego timaeus

this was also posted on my pillowfort.

this is an essay about ego death, selfshaping, and taboo mental illnesses. it’s not really a direct response to any of the voluntary identity discourses flying around on tumblr right now, but mention of ‘ego alteration’ did make me think i’ve never really talked about this all in one place. so i hope it’s a useful exploration of both voluntary identity and the idea of becoming someone that you weren’t always.

in march of 2019, something happened to me.

i’d like to think that I’ve never been actively malicious. i never burned ants with a magnifying glass or any of that stereotypical shit. but in high school i was completely insensitive, i was beyond arrogant, i was incessantly critical. i didn’t have friends and i didn’t speak to anyone and i liked it that way. i would lie in bed at night and fume about how life was so unfair and everyone else was stupid. i was never intentionally cruel, but i had an incredibly poor understanding of how easily i could hurt people and not a single care about changing that. i was starting to develop what i only just this year figured out was antisocial personality disorder.

in the years immediately prior to 2019, when i started doing the whole median thing, for whatever reason, all the asshole traits got compacted into one specific facet. and i think it was the contrast between that and other facets that weren’t complete shitwads that put the first cracks in the foundation.

the second thing was alt+h. if there’s one thing I’ve learned from alt+h and from the general interest in activism and anarchism it’s propelled me towards, it’s that forming real, meaningful connections with people is the single most necessary thing for achieving personal freedom. that’s been a hard pill to swallow. i’m still working on it (and on figuring out to what extent i just have strong boundaries and how it’s ‘acceptable’ to hold those).

the third was that i met people who consistently showed up for me. who looked at me, warts and all, and said ‘i love you’ but also ‘you really need to stop acting like this’. and stood with me, over and over again, on that hard line of real acceptance, between apologia and abjuration, no matter how many times i fucked up and hurt them. i probably deserved less chances than they gave me. but they really cared about me, and i really cared about them. and when you have ASPD, it’s really, really hard to care about literally anything. this was a critical hit straight to the heart.

(if you’re reading this, you know who you are. i love you.)

in march of 2019, i suddenly wasn’t that person any more. i had been moved enough that i didn’t consider being an asshole my entire fucking personality. but all the bad traits didn’t magically vanish. it doesn’t work like that. they just became unmoored, floating around the mordspace. and when wei weren’t strongly phased to a specific facet who actually had a personality to stand on, i felt like a ghost.

i felt like that for weeks to months. i don't really remember. the thing that mystics don’t tell you about ego death is that most of the time, if you don’t have a new and improved something else to move onto, you either have to swim back to the shore or drown. i also don’t remember how it made its way to me, but my life ring was reading detective pony.

death of the author? check. excessive rumination about the nature of meaning? check. author-cum-protagonist who feels burdened with glorious purpose, craves control and struggles with hurting the people who care about him? check, check and check. it’s a tough, emotionally draining read. but it’s cathartic, in all the worst ways possible.

(without a shred of irony, detective pony is one of the most fantastic pieces of metafiction that exists. you don't have to have read homestuck to a appreciate it. i can’t recommend it enough.)

i had the perfect template for my new self. or should i say i was the perfect template? who ‘i’ is gets difficult here even putting the median shit aside. i’ve described myself as a walk-in, which is confusing, because that means something different in plural circles, but i’m talking about the new age sense of the word:

“[...] souls are said to "walk in" during a period of intense personal problems on the part of the departing soul, or during or because of an accident or trauma. […] The walk-in being/individual retains the memories of the original personality, but does not have emotions associated with the memories. As they integrate they bring their own mental, emotional, spiritual consciousness and evolve the life to resonate with their purpose and intentions.” - x

for me it’s not as… well, new-age-y as that. i don’t believe i came ‘from’ anywhere, i don’t have a past. i am a weird bundle of arcs and tropes and ideas that somehow became sentient. i am, y’know, a fictional character. and i feel like i mean that in a very different way than most fictionfolk (that could be its own post, honestly).

so that didn’t magically solve the problem either. it just provided a trajectory. dirk strider is a person who starts bad, and gets better, kind of (epilogues and hs^2 do not @ me). i still needed to take ownership of all the shitty traits my predecessor had left behind and Do The Work on them, too.

and i have worked my ass off over the past year-and-a-bit on improving myself. a lot of it has been with plain old CBT and self-help workbooks (shoutout to pretty much everything by dr faith harper), but a lot of it has also been narrative identity and personal mythology kinds of stuff. it’s been communing with gods and magic ritual kinds of stuff. i’ve been doing ABC exercises right along with binging tvtropes and researching comparative indo-european mythology and designing worldbuilding and lore that tells a highly metaphorical story about how i get from A to B, emotionally speaking.

it runs into the same problem a lot of selfshaping stuff does in that a lot of it is so intensely personal that it’s difficult to talk about. also in my case a good handful of this work has been done under a magical apprenticeship that i’m literally sworn to secrecy about so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i think these broad strokes are sufficient for telling my story at this level right now. the point being, i am not the kind of person who can get all the way with just regular secular materialist mental health shit.

which is to say, the work is still far from over! in fact, i feel like the selfshapey parts are only just picking up for me, now i’ve run the course of what the aforementioned secular materialist mental health shit is actually capable of doing. i have made massive strides in my mental health and interpersonal functioning already, but i’m not a perfectly healthy person. i’m not going to be dis-identifying with the ASPD label any time soon (or ever? that could be its own post too). and, even so, selfshaping could provide a pathway not just for survival, but excellence.

i am going to be my best self, and at some point in the past i decided that self is going to be dirk motherfucking strider.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Seeing as I don’t have a job right now (one week furlough), I managed to get a lot of writing for Saffron and Sage done today. Now I feel good! Time to ruin that with a Homestuck 2 Liveblog! Last time: Jade kidnapped “Yiffy”, much to Jane’s distress! No time for that, though, as we’re back with the Candyland Kids. 

HARRY: vrissy, i know this is a stressful predicament but i think that's going too far. HARRY: my dad believes in us. HARRY: and if he thinks there's something we can do, then there has to be a way!

Kind of interesting that Harry holds his dad’s opinion in such high esteem, considering that his dad has been AWOL pretty much his whole life.

TAVROS: Uncle john isn't to blame for this,,, HARRY: yeah, no shit tav. HARRY: this whole situation is because of YOUR insane hitlermom.

How the hell does Harry Anderson know who Hitler is? When did that conversation come up? This is a completely different universe! 

TAVROS: Is less sincere,,, than it is,,, an attempt to weaponize something difficult for me, TAVROS: In order that you can win an argument,,, with harry anderson,,,,, VRISKA: GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! VRISKA: WILL YOU ALL JUST VRISKA: SHUT!!!!!!!! VRISKA: UP!!!!!!!!

A good example of why characters like John, Jade, Vriska, and sometimes Karkat are important in Homestuck or in stories generally. They actually do shit. 

VRISKA: Neither you nor your friends have anything really important going on. VRISKA: Your lives and your planet are a total 8ore! VRISKA: 8ut somehow John loves you anyway. VRISKA: Try and be fucking gr8ful for that every once in a while. VRISKA: Not everyone is so lucky.

Vriska please do not be pining for middle-aged John Egbert. You have literally half a dozen semi-official love interests (John, Terezi, Eridan, Tavros, Meenah and Kanaya), please don’t pick the one old enough to be your dad. It was already weird enough when Adult John got hot and bothered by teen Roxy in the epilogues, to say nothing of you fucking a middle-aged homeless clown in a bush.  

thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG]

Oh, fuck you, Homestuck. It’s bad enough that Harry and Dave are both going to be referred to as “TG” in chatlogs, but now Vrissy and Vriska are both AG and have the same font color! 

TG: i've allocated the strife specibus with the scissorkind abstratus? TG: hm. TG: using this weird vocab and stuff feels... well, weird. TG: i'm not sure why, but it seems as though everything that's about to happen is that much more important now. TG: or maybe it already was, but i just didn't understand just how important until this moment.

One issue with wearing your metaphor on your sleeve as much as Homestuck 2 does is that thematically important lines become really obvious. 

I like how the triangle-shaped panel around Vriska escaping the crowd by simply walking into it is reminiscent of a magic 8-ball. That’s clever! 

VRISKA: Your society... no, your whole planet... it deserves to 8urn str8 to MEGAhell, and I'm gonna 8e the one to fly it there! VRISKA: I'm gonna shatter your paradise into pieces with my 8are hands and SHIT IN ITS GRAVE!!!!!!!! VRISKA: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING ST8MENT! VRISKA: YOU GOT ALL THAT, JANE CROCKER? VRISKA: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU???????? VRISKA: YOU'VE MESSED WITH VRISKA: ********VRISKA******** VRISKA: ****FUUUUUUUUCKING**** VRISKA: ********SERK8T********

There’s some extreme Dungeons and Dragons energy here, where Vriska’s plan to escape a mob of reporters working for a totalitarian dictatorship run by literal gods is to simply walk outside and publicly declare her intent to destroy the world as punishment for its sins. 

And yeah, this is how that plan usually works in DnD, too.

Man, the next page is a wall of text, whereas in old Homestuck this’d be an animation. I get “fair wages” and “small budget”, but is still feels weird to see a big Strife scene merely get described with boring-ass words.

Fearing gunfire, the few paparazzi who aren't currently getting their asses handed to them by the world's angriest traffic cone start to trip over each other, diving for cover.

The world’s angriest traffic cone.

Far away, in her lair, Jane Crocker grabs the two sides of her computer monitor with enough strength to snap it in two. She can't believe what she's watching. Behind her, from a shadowy corner of the room, there is an agitated growling noise and the rattle of chains.

Is that Yiffy? Is Yiffy an animal? Please tell me Yiffy is not a person that Jade named Yiffy. 

....Actually, please tell me that Yiffy isn’t an animal Jade named Yiffy that is Jade’s child via sex with another animal that might be my breaking point.

Vriska alights on the ground, rakes her throat, quietly spits out a little wad of blue, and wipes her mouth unceremoniously. Tavros pats Harry Anderson tentatively on the arm. Vrissy tries to be badass and cough up something too but she doesn't really make it work.  

Vrissy::Vriska Vriska::Mindfang

It’s weird that John’s sprite is the same even though he’s middle aged now, but I like that his God Tier outfit doesn’t fit any more. Isn’t it magical? Ahh, who cares.

JOHN: this old thing is pretty uncomfortable in a lot of ways. JOHN: hm... JOHN: when we get a moment, maybe the two of us could brainstorm a redesign? JOHN: no pressure though. HARRY: !!!

Oh, that’s why! That’s cute. 

JADE: theres something i need to tell you

don’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadog

JADE: john... i have a daughter JADE: shes almost harry andersons age JOHN: ... JOHN: ... JOHN: you have a daughter.

Named Yiffy?

ROSE: It was at this point that Jade came to me. ROSE: I could understand her pain quite acutely, and so... ROSE: I agreed to carry a child on her behalf. KANAYA: . ROSE: ... Without telling Kanaya.

Without-

Kanaya is your WIFE. You LIVE WITH HER. Even ignoring the question of why you’d keep 9 months of pregnancy from your wife, how? Kanaya would have been living with humans for years at that point and she’s literally in charge of reproduction don’t tell me she thought Rose just got fat for a while and then lost the weight really fast. 

ROSE: I'm... not sure why I made that decision. ROSE: I regret not telling Kanaya, of course. ROSE: But I can't say that I regret going through with it. ROSE: At the time, it didn't feel as though the deception was even all that prolonged. The whole affair was... short. ROSE: Purely physical, and nothing more.

ROSE: John, there isn't a father. ROSE: Jade and I are the sole parents of this child. JOHN: oh. JOHN: ... JOHN: OH. JOHN: oh i'm so sorry, i didn't th- ROSE: That's quite alright John, although you might like to direct that apology more towards your sister. ROSE: All I will say is that if you would like to take up the particulars with us, ROSE: Some *other* time, 

Actually, if John doesn’t know that Jade has a male dog’s genitals due to a fusion accident, I’d love to know what that all-caps OH means. What does he think happened, that Jade and Rose managed to have a baby? 

JOHN: so... how did you hide the pregnancy? ROSE: Oh, that was simple. ROSE: Jade's genes being, as they are, part canine, the gestation period was substantially reduced.

OH NO 

Yiffy is literally a furry, isn’t she? Moreso that Jade, she’s a full-on “Can be naked onscreen and it’s okay because she’s covered in fur” dog girl.

JOHN: i think i understand everything so f VRISSY: WAIT!!!!!!!! VRISSY: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME VRISSY: NOT ONLY DO I H8VE A SISTER VRISSY: 8UT YOU NAMED VRISSY: YOUR ****SECRET CHILD**** VRISSY: ********YIFFY********????????

Vrissy makes an excellent point. 

ROSE: We didn't call her Yiffy. ROSE: That would be a quite ridiculous thing with which to burden a child. ROSE: Her full name is Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley.

Vrissy looks as though she is about to shit the belltower they are standing in, brick by brick.

ROSE: It was, in hindsight, a monumentally terrible decision acting as the final chapter in a long series of novels, each one full of progressively more terrible decisions than the last. ROSE: But that is the name that we decided upon.

Oh, wait a second. Vriska changed Vriska Maryam-Lalonde to Vrissy, and changed Harry Anderson to just Harry. So obviously she’s going to rename Yiffy to literally anything else, then rename Tavros, and then we’ve got a new set of four kids as Vriska leaves to do something else. That’s what going to happen, right? Right? Please? 

ROSE: You have to understand... this whole situation ended up playing out a bit like an ironic game of chicken between the two of us. ROSE: Something that far outstripped anything that the Strider fraternity could have produced in their wildest, most jpegged creative wet dreams. ROSE: But in the end that triumph of irony came back to bite us in the fucking ass, as irony is wont to do. ROSE: There was absolutely no possibility of us casually letting you all know that, by the way, we had had a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking. ROSE: At least, not right away. ROSE: But carapacian change-of-name paperwork is so complex and circuitous that, eventually, keeping quiet forever just seemed like the more reasonable option.

This is, even for Homestuck, monumentally stupid. You named your daughter Yiffany Longstocking as a joke and then kept the child secret because you were embarrassed. You two are awful fucking parents. You are the worst parents in the entire series, and that includes Bro Strider and the spider that made Vriska feed it children. 

And we’re literally at the point where the writing is bad and the joke is how bad the writing is. This isn’t enjoyable to read; you can’t make a bad B-movie My Immortal fanfic on purpose.  

Even now, Yiffy is likely being held at spoonpoint

I feel like “Jade and Rose have a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking” can be a joke or it can be drama but maybe not both at the same time. 

[andmaybegayer]

I just watched the “Sokka’s Master” episode of ATLA and I mean damn, that’s a very enjoyable episode. It’s tightly written and focused and I don’t think my usual critique of “this should have been a longer episode” holds, 20 minutes was about as long as this extended development and training montage should have gone for.

On the other hand, I still have a Time Based Opinion about this, which is that I appreciate when stories that should take a great period of time actually take a great period of time. Avatar is bad about this: lots of people go through serious development in hours or days that canonically should take weeks or months. Basically any of the training episodes are this, “Sokka’s Master” takes place over like three days, and at the end of that the master is like “you are the finest student I’ve ever seen” dude it has been three days.

I think this might be why people like Zuko’s arc: it takes place over like two seasons and it’s very gradual. He doesn’t go from being an angry young man to being at peace with himself when he goes on a date with a girl but he DOES change his outlook. Heck in this very episode we see Iroh getting Fucking Jacked but that’s the result of what we can safely assume is weeks of work, even if we’ve only seen it happening over two episodes.

A story that I reference a lot when talking about this sort of narrative device is Raymond E. Feist’s “Magician”, a fantasy book which takes place over about 30 years, following (amongst other things) a man as he goes from random peasant child to apprentice to warrior to slave to servant to magician to politician. By stretching the story out over such a long time, those progressions feel a lot more real, and even if most of that time is skipped over in a single page. The opportunity to have things change dramatically about the world when the “five years later” spongebob screen shows up can help the story feel like it has real stakes. If he loses his position or gets set back at any point he potentially loses years of progress, and you know that he may not have time to recover.

Homestuck also does this, with the Yellow Yard: that sequence is 3 years long but most of it is skipped over, there’s less text for those 3 years than there is for about 3 days during the alpha kids campaign. This is partially just good for fanfiction (there’s a reason why a good half of the Paradox Space comics are set during the Beta Trolls campaign) but also it’s an effective way to say “what happened here took a lot of time to do and losses will have an impact” such as uh Jade/Davesprite I guess? Ignore this entire section if you haven’t read Homestuck I’m realising now how incomprehensible it is.

(man I’m also wondering now, the only two episodes of ATLA I had seen before this was The Library and one where Aang does spirit shit on a turtle island and they are running out of episodes to put that second one in.)

[pochapal]

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking: 

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3. 

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it. 

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with. 

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

[fipindustries]

list of comics i made so far

i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.

now without further ado, lets begin!

spike Vanderville (age 7)

you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.

curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time

andrew and the monkey (age 10)

this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame

FIP industries (age 17)

mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)

Disregarding Reality I (age 20)

the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.

i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...

Strangers in the forest (age 21)

here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.

Song of a nightmare (age 21)

another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.

Aika (age 21)

as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?

this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”

oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious

Hello Agatha (age 21)

a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!

there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!

The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)

an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.

the vest kind of madness (age 22)

probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.

to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.

Disregarding Reality II (age 23)

another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.

this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.

Mama Bird (age 24)

my masterpiece.

by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one

Soft boys (age 25)

a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.

Hexen Snatch (age 25)

a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.

on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.

Maxplosive (age 26)

another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.

the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.

sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.

i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....

Lapsarian (age 27)

an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.

took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?

its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”

Conclussion:

looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).

something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future