#I SPIN THEM IN MY HEAD EVERYDAY AND THINK ABOUT HOW COMPLICATED THEIR RELATIONSHIP GETS UGHHHHH

[fujii-draws]

[cacoetheswriting]

champagne problems, ch.9

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Nine: illicit affairs: The direct aftermath of Spencer’s confession. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading.     Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, talk of breakup/s, cheating, very angsty, a tiny tiny bit of fluff, this whole series is a real slow burn

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A/N: thank you for the continuous love you are showing to this little story! i can’t put into words how much it means to me, truly!! thank you also to those who expressed whether they would prefer this chapter to be happy or painful, you all really inspired me!! ENJOY!

-

“P-please say something.” Spencer’s plea was barely a whisper.

Time stood still in that moment. His heart was now in his throat, his hands trembling against your soft skin. He could see the sadness in your eyes, the conflict. Hurting you was exactly the thing he wanted to avoid. And as he silently observed the uncertainty cloud your features, his soul ached.

“I-I.. Spencer, I…”

There was a period of time after your breakup where you imagined something like this happening perhaps a million times. Where you wished he’d tell you all of the things he just did. Like a wild dream. A happy dream where you would say you loved him too. He would wrap his large arms around your frame, and never let go again.

This felt nothing like that. This was more like a nightmare.

His voice was ringing in your ears, the confession replaying on loop. You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what to think. You felt betrayed by the man standing in front of you. Betrayed by the words he said.

Most importantly, you felt betrayed by your own feelings.

“Please leave.” You finally uttered, chin trembling.

The sentence came out croaky, broken even, but Spencer heard you. Pain rushed through him, burning his skin inside out. He twitched his nose in a failed attempt at trying to fight back his own tears.

He was prepared for this outcome, he knew it was a possibility. He knew there was a chance you would distance yourself from him. He knew you might get angry. After all, the kiss you shared two months ago didn't compare to what he just weighed off his chest. Especially if you didn't feel the same way.

In this moment however, as he held your face and looked deep into your eyes, his heart was in agony. He wasn't ready to let you go.

“Please leave.” You repeated a little more determined. Your hands quickly travelled to his in an effort to free yourself from his strong embrace.

“Y/N, don’t do this. W-we can talk this out.” Spencer begged, not wanting to let you slip away. “You’re the most important person in my life Y/N. I need you. I-I know that’s unfair. And I know it was unfair to tell you the truth about how I truly feel now, after all this time. I know that. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. Please-e don’t tell me to leave, please. I need y-you.”

“W-what, what about what I need?”

By now, the tears streaming down your face were resembling a waterfall. Everything was heavy, especially your heart. Conflicting emotions circling through you causing your head to spin. You felt like you were losing your mind. As if the room was getting smaller, and the walls were closing in.

“What about what I need, Spencer?!” You cried out, sadness slowly dissipating into anger. Your hands moved to his chest. You pushed him backwards, little by little, struggling to break free. “Get out! Get out! Get out.. Get out...” Your voice faded.

The brunette doctor let his arms fall. Completely defeated he took a step back, giving you space to breathe. Hastily, he wiped his tears away before proceeding to run his fingers through his hair.

An agonising silence filled the room. The two of you stared at one another, both afraid to speak up first. Afraid to somehow make this worse. Salty droplets continued to stream down your face as you tried to organise your thoughts, and your conflicting feelings.

There was no denying you loved Spencer too. You realised now more than ever that you always have. But you also loved Ethan, and you couldn't just walk away from a relationship you tried so hard to build. A relationship that to a certain extent helped you get over the very man standing in front of you.

Which is what hurt the most - Spencer’s impeccably terrible timing.

“W-why didn't you say anything sooner?” You sniffled. “I-I waited for you. After we broke up, before I met Ethan, I waited for you. I-I wanted you Spencer, and you never said anything. You never showed any inclination that you wanted me back. Why?”

The one-worded question lingered in the air. Heavy. Shattering.

Spencer sniffled quietly. A broken look was visible on his features; one to match yours. Tears slowly trailing down his jawline.

“B-because... Because....” He stuttered. Mind racing as he tried to collect his thoughts. Truthfully, Spencer didn't have an answer to that question. He didn't have a good enough reason. “I-I was afraid. I was afraid if I said something I would lose you all over again.”

“How much does it hurt knowing you lost me anyway?” It was the wrong thing to say. You regretted it the second it escaped your lips.

Heartbreak is a whole-body response. Similar to a grieving process, there are a number of stages. A number of reactions. It spreads through the nervous system, the respiratory system, and the endocrine system. It spreads until you’re unable to function.

Your words were ringing in Spencer’s ears. He felt nauseous. The room was spinning. Everything he feared was coming true.

Heartbreak doesn't just affect the heart and brain. It’s a lot more complicated than that.

“Y-you don't mean that.” He whispered, taking a hazy step towards you. “I-I know you don't mean that. Please, Y/N...”

The way he said your name made your heart ache even more. You didn’t want to cause him any pain, just like you knew his intentions weren’t malicious either. Yet, the two of you stood across from one another with nothing between you but hurt.

“I love you. And I-I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but please don’t tell me to go. Please don’t shut me out.” Spencer pleaded. His hands found yours, and he held them close to his chest. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I love you Y/N.” He repeated.

Sniffling, you swallowed your breath. The waterfall ended. Instead, it was replaced by lone wet droplets gradually trailing down your features.

“I love you too.” You expressed in a soft voice before meeting his wandering gaze.

Spencer blinked. His heart fluttered as he registered what you admitted.

“Y-you do?” He didn't think he’d be lucky enough to hear you say those three words again and mean it. Really mean it. Of course he hoped you would. After all, you said them earlier tonight. However, right now it was different. He felt it with every fibre of his being. You loved him back.

“Of course I do! Of course I love you! I always have, and I’m pretty sure I will never stop.” You admitted. The words spilling out of you with such ease you knew it was a sign what you were saying was true. “No-one makes me feel the way you do.”

A deep sigh escaped your lips. “B-but I can’t love you, Spencer. I’m getting married.”

“If Ethan doesn’t make you feel-” He began, but you quickly cut him off.

“You’re the love of my life Spencer. My soulmate. You came into my life at exactly the right time and made it so much richer. You helped me become the person I am today. Our connection is so strong, we can understand each other without a word. We’re combined through heart and mind, and I will never regret the time we spent together. I will never regret loving you.” You revealed. “E-Ethan, however, Ethan is my life partner. He gives me comfort. He’s my right hand. Our bond grows stronger with everyday menial tasks.”

“I could be your life partner Y/N if you just gave me a chance.” Spencer’s hands moved to your cheeks once again, cupping them gently. “You told me you wanted to marry me before, we can do that.”

“Spencer...”

“Y/N, there is no doubt in my mind that I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with you. If you’ll have me.”

It was a proposal. A marriage proposal.

Spencer didn't have to specify, you knew that it was. You knew what he meant. He didn't have to get down on one knee with a diamond ring in hand. He didn't have to ask, ‘will you marry me?’. He didn't have to make it intentionally romantic. His words alone were evidence enough. Spencer Reid wanted to marry you.

“I-I, I need some time to think. I-I can’t just drop everything and run away with you. I hope you understand that Spencer.”

The hazel-eyed doctor slowly nodded his head. “Take all the time you need Y/N. I’ll wait. I will always wait for you.”

And with that, his lips found yours.

Despite the complicated situation you both found yourselves in. Despite the difficult position, and the choice you were now facing. He held you as close as it was humanely possible. Nothing mattered. The world slipped away. Your hands moved around his neck. Heartbeats syncing into one. 

Both of you revelling in the thought you found each other once again.

And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

-

A/N: hope you liked this chapter and as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel

[vickyskpopkingdom]

Baekhyun :: working blues

request: Hii! Im rlly into baekhyun's new album rn and i was hoping u could write a fluff where ur just having a rough day and he sings u to sleep pls!! Rlly like ur fluff writes btw 💕💕

thank you so much for your kind words! i haven't written about exo in a long, long time but i hope that you still like what i came up with!

warnings: overworking, stress

1.8k words, gn reader

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Sometimes you felt like the world was collapsing on you. The weight on your shoulders got too heavy at times and you were just tired. So tired, so tired. Today was one of those days.

The work you had to do didn't seem to end. At this point you couldn't even count how many e-mails you had answered, how many texts you have read, how many calls you made and how many words you have written. Your eyes were so tired they started to water at the sight of the bright screen of your laptop in front of you. When had it become so dark around you? Hasn't it been noon just a few minutes ago?

A quick glance through your bedroom window and towards the clock on your wall told you something different. It was already eight p.m., the streetlamp outside your window was the only source of light right now other than your laptop. With a sigh you leaned back into your chair and tried stretching your arms as well as your neck and legs. Every joint in your body seemed to make a protesting cracking noise and as you tried to massage your neck, your muscles burned with protest.

You sighed again. Maybe you really should invest in one of those fancy office chairs that claimed to be a blessing for your whole body. At the thought of the price however you shook that thought out of your head.

Standing up you got through another round of stretching your whole body and decided to check out the kitchen for food. It only hit you as the dim light of the fridge illuminated your face that you were supposed to go grocery shopping today. Empty shelves greeted you back and your stomach grumbled angrily.

You tried hard not to scream out of frustation. Nothing wanted to work your way these days and you were honestly so tired of it. For some time you were able to tell yourself that everything would work out and that you would find your working blues again but that was yet to happen. Quietly you closed the fridge door again, sliding down against it to the floor.

The project you had been assigned at the start of last week was way more complicated than you had anticipated, the sources you were thinking of using turned out to be a scam. Adding to that the promotion you had been so sure of getting had been given to someone else and while you could understand that they deserved it, you were sure that you would have deserved it as well. Not only was your fridge emtpty but you had been neglecting your healthy eating habits for quite some time now, which only frustated you more.

And today all of these things seemed to add up all at once, crushing you under their weight.

When was the last time you really had a good nights sleep? You had worked late and gotten up early, eating only bits and pieces of instant food, sitting at your desk all day and falling into bed only to repeat the same cycle over and over again. Right now you were fighting to keep the tears at bay but the merry-go-round in your head kept spinning, piling up more and more worries.

When was the last time you had seen your friends? When was the last time you even properly talked to them? You were always telling them that you were busy with work when they asked to hang out. They never pressured you to still come with them but you knew that they would love to see you again even for a few hours. Yet you still could not get yourself to take their invitations, the thought of your unfinished project sitting in the back of your head constantly.

When was the last time your boyfriend--?

Just as the tears started flowing down your face the doorbell rang. Its sound surprised you so much that you jumped up, your heart beating fast. The clock in your kitchen read nine p.m. One hour went by while you were staring holes in the walls and drowned in your thoughts.

You couldn't really think of a reason why someone would visit you this late, on a weekday nonetheless. But not answering the door wasn't an option either, you would just start to worry about 'what-ifs'. So you decided to take a peak through the peephole in your door.

Your heart picked up its pace at you saw a familiar face illuminated by the light of a smartphone-screen, lookin worried and confused. Fumbling with your keys you opened the door and the person looked up from their phone.

"Hey Bambi, are you okay?"

Baekhyuns voice filled your ears as soon as he looked into your face. He eyed you up and down, making sure you were alright. "I texted and tried to call you for at least two hours now. There was no reaction from you whatsoever."

As you allowed him to step into your home, you sighed. "Sorry, I threw my phone across the room at one point and didn't pick it up again."

Your boyfriend chuckled as he got rid of his shoes and coat, placing both neatly onto their usual spots in the entrance of your flat. Just the sight of him, doing everyday things, smiling, talking was an instant boost for your mood. Now that he was here you fully realized just how much you had missed his presence.

"Why would you throw your phone?", Baekhyun questioned.

You made a dismissive move with your hand, not wanting to talk about the infuriating call you had to make a few hours ago. "I was frustrated", you only said.

Together you and Baekhyun made your way towards your bedroom. Just as you stepped into the room and turned on the lights you remembered the state you left your working place in. But it was too late to make him turn around now. Quickly you tried to tidy up the place a little bit, hiding the traces of your overworking as Baekhyun cleared his throat to gain your attention.

"Are you drowning yourself in work again?"

You stopped dead in your tracks. This wasn't the first time he had seen you piling up work on your shoulders and ending up being unable to do anything else. Back then you had promised him to take better care of yourself or at least take real breaks once in a while to catch a breath.

"Maybe...."

Now it was Baekhyuns turn to sigh. "Did you eat today? And before you answer i mean 'eat a proper meal'."

Picking up your phone from the floor you sat yourself down on the bed. "No, not really. It's just this project..."

Baekhyun shook his head at you, but you still noticed the small smile on his face. "You are such a hard-working person. But you need to allow yourself some time to breathe, you know?"

His voice was calm, sounding like music to your ears. Even after all this time you had been in a relationship with him you were still surprised by how easily he could make you relax.

"Yes, I know."

"And since I am such a caring and awesome boyfriend", he said, rustling with a plastic bag you only now noticed in his hands, "I brought you some food."

As you looked into his smiling face you couldn't help but ask yourself how you got so lucky.

The meal was good, it was your favorite and having Baekhyun by your side made you feel even more grounded. It almost felt like you gained new energy after a week of complete exhaustion and constant worrying. While you were eating the both of you talked about everything and nothing, catching up, telling stories and sharing your newest netflix suggestions.

The evening proceeded and your eyes landed on the clock again. It was late, if you were still caught up in your workaholic-lifestyle you would have already been asleep right now. However surprisingly you currently were not even close to worrying about getting up the next morning. What bothered you most right now was that this evening would end and eventually you would have to go to sleep an wake up in the morning, getting back to your work.

Baekhyun seemed to notice the frown on your face sooner than you could hide it again. "What's wrong?"

You shrugged. "This is nice, simply being together with you. But you probably have to leave soon and then tomorrow I have to work on this stupid project again."

"I can stay the night, if you want me to of course."

"I didn't want to pressure you into--"

"You didn't", he interrupted you, before you could end the sentence and feel like you made him stay against his will, "I actually wanted to ask if I could stay anyways. Tomorrow is one of my free days. I could even keep you company while you work."

Your chest felt warm at his words. "I would love that."

Soon you two found yourselves back in your bed, bodies entangled with each other, quiet breaths sounding through the room. You could feel your eyelids growing heavy, but as soon as you closed your eyes all you could think of was the next morning, the project, the unanswered emails, the calls.

"Still can't calm down, Bambi?", Baekhyun whispered in your ear, while slowly stroking your hair.

With closed eyes you shook your head. "I can't take my mind off of work."

The next thing you heard was quiet humming coming from Baekhyun. You could feel the vibration of his vocal chords against your own body. His voice really was a blessing for everyones ears, he could carry emotions through singing that you weren't even able to put into words. His songs made you happy, they made you cry occasionally, they made you feel calm or made you miss something you didn't even knew existed. It was a gift.

His humming transformed into words, calmly sang into the otherwise dark and quiet room.

It's a night filled with a single stream of light

You're my timely rain, Bambi

I don't want to waste even a second of this night just

being the two of us

As you listened to his singing, you could finally feel your muscles relaxing, your brain calming down and your whole body drifting towards sleep. There were no worrysome thoughts turning your mind upside down anymore, there was only Baekhyun and his voice filling your head with images of your favorite places, your favorite memories and him. The warmth of his body under the blankets made you feel safe, at home. This was were you belonged.

And while Baekhyun continued with the song you fell into a deep sleep, one that you deserved after all the work you had done. You already knew that you found your blues again. Everything would work out again, just like you had always thought yourself. And all you had needed was just a small push in the right direction from the right person.

I don't want to wake up from this dream, keep this tempo

I hope the sun doesn't rise while I keep my eyes closed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope you enjoyed this one! It was nice to write something again but I do feel like i am a little bit out of training i guess haha

and also if you feel like the reader in this scenario, please remember that there will be better days & that life is more than working day to day! take a break, make some tea, get some fresh air and get back to your work with a fresh mind; you can do it!!

[perfeggso]

I don’t want a lot (Johnny x Reader)

I wrote this as part of @suh-insane’s walking in a winter wonderland collab, so thanks to her for hosting! Happy holidays and I hope y’all enjoy ❄️☺️

Genre: domestic fluff

Characters: Johnny, fem! reader, Ten

Warnings: nothing really just mentions of bad things that have happened this year lol. It’s a very...2020 fic. Also I guess some language. Also, smoking pot.

Rating: teen and up

Length: 3.5k

My movie quote is “They can’t evict you on Christmas! Then you’d be ho-ho-homeless!”

December 18th 2020, 4:37 p.m.

“Knock, knock!” You pound your fist against the wooden door in front of you, then pull your coat tighter around you. You’d moved to Chicago five years ago for college, and you’re still not sure if you’ll ever adjust to the snowy winter months. It was at said college that you met,

“Johnny Suh!” You bang a fist on the door three more times. “I know you’re in there. Take your headphones off, you dumbass.”

You’re about to pull your phone out of your pocket and go to the trouble of removing a glove to text your boyfriend when you hear the door unlock from the inside, a metallic tumbling sound.

When the door opens all the way, Johnny is standing just past the threshold of his apartment, his catlike lips curled up at the edges. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a blue flannel, and his freshly dyed blond hair falls to where his headphones rest around the base of his neck. You can hear Nirvana coming from them because you are dating a stereotype.

Johnny leans his large frame against the side of the door where he had been holding it and smirks, but there’s nothing but softness behind the expression.

“Long time no see, sicko,” he teases.

You roll your eyes as he moves to let you pass into the entryway of his and Ten’s shoebox dwelling.

“You look even more like a deadbeat than you did a month ago,” you say, not moving because your clothing is starting to drip melting snow onto the floor and you don’t even know where to begin with taking it off. “This is proof you need me around taking care of you.”

Johnny pushes off the door and closes it, pausing his music. He crowds close and starts unwrapping your scarf so you don’t have to think about it anymore, shakes some of the slush off it so it pools at your feet, and hangs it on the coat rack. He does the same with your puffer jacket.

“Aw,” he pouts, “you don’t like the new color?” He tries to remove your beanie too, but it was part of your Outfit, so you yank it back down onto your head and give Johnny puppy dog eyes, choosing to ignore the way your heart rate picks up a little from the proximity. Hey, isolation was rough, okay? Johnny tucks your hair behind your ears instead.

“No, baby,” you say, starting to toe off your snow boots. “I love it. It’s very Disney prince, but simultaneously very… Kurt Cobain.” Johnny smiles and lets you finish stripping your winter gear, walking his way back towards his sofa until he’s sitting, legs wide. Snow falls in flurries past the window behind him. “It’s just that, I dunno, you look like you’ve been spending more time on Reddit or something.” Johnny sulks jokingly at your ribbing as you hang up your purse and try not to fixate on how cold the indoor air still is. “I can tell you haven’t gotten laid in a while,” you continue. “Oh wait! I forgot you have Ten around for that.”

Now it’s Johnny who’s rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t seem too offended because he beckons you over to sit with him. You follow his gesture, skipping towards him until you can curl into his side on the couch. He removes his headphones and lays his head against the crown of yours, taking your hand softly.

“It’s not my fault my girlfriend abandoned me for a month,” he complains, rubbing his thumb over yours.

This makes you chuckle. Oh, how you’ve missed him. “If that’s what you call ‘considerately protecting you from the Novel Coronavirus’,” you joke, “then I guess, but I refuse to apologize for doing my civic duty.”

Your case hadn’t been bad, but it was a logistical nightmare. You’d spent two weeks in total isolation, nursing a cough, guzzling hard alcohol straight to see if you could taste it, sending your best friend out to shop for you, and thanking your lucky stars for having a job that would let you work from home. You’d spent the next two waiting to test negative for the virus and a positive for antibodies. Johnny was initially distraught when you told him, sending you cloying messages and calling everyday to see if your symptoms were getting better or worse. Once you’d convinced him you weren’t dying though, he went back to his usual obnoxious self, joking about planning your funeral and accusing you of faking it to avoid him.

Johnny pulls you tighter into his side. “Whatever,” he concedes. “Is it safe to kiss you yet?”

You look up at him and shrug. “Nothing’s 100% but…”

That’s all the reassurance he needs to pull you into his lap and connect your lips. It's soft and languid, and you hold each other through it. His arms are so solid around your waist it simultaneously makes your heart flutter and makes you feel like you could relax and take a nap right here and now. When you pull away, Johnny runs his hands along your figure, as if to reassure himself you’re really there. The smile he gives you glows, but only for a moment. You curl yourself into the crook of his neck and place the back of your hand on his cheek, tender. His skin there scratches yours just the tiniest bit.

“I missed you,” he says, chuckling.

“Mm-hm, I missed you too,” you reply. “How are you, anyway? You said you had something to tell me?”

“Oh, yeah,” he says. He maneuvers you off his lap to sit by his side, and from this angle you can truly tell that he’s going sheepish. Suddenly it feels like there’s an alien hand in your stomach. What could this possibly be about? Johnny’s nervous silence gets your brain spinning – a zoetrope of stupidity. Am I being broken up with? No – obviously not. Does he have a family member dying of COVID? I fucking hope not; that’d be complicated on multiple levels. Maybe it’s good? Maybe he finally got a job offer but he has to move away or something.

Johnny starts talking before your mind can come up with any other ridiculous hypotheses.

“We’re getting evicted.”

You furrow your brow. Had you misheard him? You shake your head, incredulous. Johnny and Ten had always maintained a good relationship with their landlord. It didn’t make sense for everything to turn on a dime, even if they were struggling financially.

“You’re kidding,” is all you manage to say.

Johnny just purses his lips and raises his eyebrows as if to say, “it is what it is.”

What he really says is that he wishes he was kidding, but he’s not.

“Oh my god,” you respond, crossing your arms in irritation at, well, at everything lately. “Fuck! When is this happening?”

Johnny sighs. “Technically in a week.”

You feel the cogs of your post-COVID brain start to crank against each other. A week from today would be…hold on,

“Wait,” you say, as the situation starts to appear more and more ridiculous. “Like exactly a week from today? Like on Christmas? You’re being evicted on literal Christmas?” You’re trying really hard not to raise your voice, even if it’s clear that if you did, it would be out of indignation on Johnny’s behalf. You’re obviously not upset with him.

Johnny’s eyes roll around in their sockets as if this is the first time he’s contemplated the exact timing.

“Well, yeah, I guess a week from today is Christmas…”

The absurdity of this all is getting to you, and you can’t help it, you start to laugh. It’s that kind of nihilistic, fuck-all laughter that’s been one of the few things getting you through this year.

“They can’t evict you on Christmas!” you quote. “Then you’d be ho-ho-homeless!”

Johnny looks at you blankly for a second, so you contort your face into that open expression universally recognized as the “get it?” face.

“From Go?” You hint. “C’mon, Johnny boy.”

And before his nickname can fully escape your mouth, your boyfriend is cutting you off with a long sound of recognition and doubling over his lap in giggles.

“Good one,” he says into his right knee, and you giggle along with him. “Wholly inappropriate, but clever nonetheless.”

“Why, thank you,” you say, enjoying the levity, but unable to uproot the feeling of dread in your gut at Johnny’s conundrum.

Go is one of you and Johnny’s favorite movies to watch around Christmastime, mostly because it’s only tangentially related to Christmas, it’s kitschy and ridiculous, and has a plot that is 90% crime. You’re surprised he didn’t catch the reference more quickly, but to his credit, he has more pressing worries taking up mental space.

“Where is Ten, anyway?” you ask, looking around performatively at the messy and claustrophobic room. A silver plastic Christmas tree twinkles on a table in the corner. “Have you two talked about a plan yet?”

“He’s grocery shopping,” Johnny explains. “He’ll be home soon. And yeah, we have an idea.”

“You do? Because you could always move in with me.”

Johnny scrunches his face up. “I would love to live with you.” Your heart rattles a little in excitement, even though you know there will be a ‘but.’ Johnny goes on, “but you know both of us wouldn’t fit in your apartment. Where would Ten sleep? Or put his stuff? We’d all be on top of each other.”

You nod, defeated because you know he’s right.

“Hey,” Johnny says, “but we can always have the ‘moving in’ conversation again, okay?”

“Okay,” you say, grabbing his hand. “Sounds good.”

It suddenly feels very dark in the apartment (it’s still chilly enough you think you might be able to see your breath, but you aren’t about to complain because you know there’s a very good reason for that), so Johnny pushes himself up off the couch to turn on a couple of lamps.

“So,” he says, facing you from across the room, “we’re gonna be evicted on Christmas, no matter what the cinematographic masterpiece that is Go tells us is right or wrong. Christmas is just as much of a capitalist construction as our rent, after all.”

You’re about to pipe up again about how fucked that is and how surely they can come to some sort of agreement with the landlord, but Johnny anticipates this and keeps talking.

“We tried to argue, babe, but as I know you know, we don’t exactly have much of a leg to stand on.”

Johnny is right. Again. How many months behind were they on rent at this point? They’d gotten a few months delayed back in spring, but they still owed everything that built up from that before the end of the year, and they’d blown through their stimulus check a long time ago. Johnny has tried to find work, but the theater business hasn’t exactly been booming. Ten, for his part, is able to make a bit of money doing freelance illustration and teaching dance classes over Zoom from his room, but his studio’s engagement has dropped since March and he still unfortunately gets paid per student. You can’t help wanting to punch a wall in frustration at how unfair this all is, but it’s not like any of it comes as a shock. You’re not naïve. You and Johnny met at a leftist theory club for Christ’s sake.

“We’re helping organize a rent strike,” Johnny says, calming you down. Finally, a glimmer of hope. “We’re not the only ones in the building going through it right now, and we know a lot of the tenants who aren’t being evicted well enough we can convince them to join.”

Right then, the front door flies open and thwacks a startled Johnny in the back.

“I’m home!” Ten calls from behind a sack of groceries. You can’t even see his face yet. “I’m terribly sorry,” he directs at Johnny, then heaves the bag of food onto the kitchen counter which is also sort of in the middle of the living room.

“Ooh,” he coos when he sees you, still sat on the couch. “The missus is back!” He strips himself of his winter coat, ignoring your scoffing and revealing an oversized red and white striped sweater. He shimmies against the cool air and lets out a sort of squeal. “I was not built for this actual winter shit.”

“Hi, Ten,” you say once he finishes his theatrics. “Missed you.”

Ten shoots a sappy pout your way. “I miss you too. I’m so glad you’re feeling better! You have no idea how morose Johnny got without you constantly around. Can I give you a hug?”

You nod and try to warm up Ten’s tiny frame with yours while Johnny mutters something about Ten not knowing what “morose” means. When you break away, Johnny is rifling through the week’s haul to put things away.

“I see you didn’t go off-brand for the ramen,” Johnny remarks, stacking several Shin bowls in the cupboard. He turns to Ten with a raised brow. “Big spender.”

“They didn’t have anything else but if you would answer your damn phone I could have called and asked you about it.”

“I answer my phone,” Johnny grumbles, stowing some orange juice away in the fridge.

“Besides,” Ten continues, ignoring his roommate, “since I’m the only one making any money in this household I figured I’d give myself some discretion for spending it.”

Johnny grimaces, and you figure this is where you should probably step in.

“We were just talking about the rent strike, Ten. Johnny was filling me in.”

Ten turns his attention back to you, letting Johnny house the food items in peace.

“We’ll see how it goes,” says Ten, looking out the window just past your shoulder, “but I’m letting myself hope a little bit. As far as I’m concerned, they’ll be kicking my corpse out of here before they put me on the streets.”

Johnny scoffs. “Always so dramatic.”

“Says the former theater major.”

“Touché.”

You’d missed the ‘old married couple’ dynamic your boyfriend has with his roommate.

“But really, just, please try not to get the cops involved,” you plead. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

“We’ll see what we can do,” says Johnny as he closes the last cabinet and crinkles the brown paper bag up for storage.

Ten shrugs. “No promises.”

You sigh.

Once everything is good and settled a few moments later, Ten decides the apartment needs a more festive atmosphere, so that’s how you end up getting dragged down the short hallway to Johnny’s room while Ten belts Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” from the living room and accuses Johnny of being a scrooge. Even still, Johnny sways playfully from side to side as he walks backwards, shimmying his shoulders and mouthing the words with a smile between protestations that this is “not how I envisioned finally spending time again with my girlfriend!” The way he buries his hands into the sleeves of his flannel to make sweater paws makes your heart so full you want to curl up and die. But, moving on.

Once in his bedroom, Johnny flicks on a warm-hued lamp and watches fondly as you collapse on the bed.

“I really did miss you guys,” you say for what feels like the hundredth time in an hour.

Johnny’s lips press into a little smile. “Yeah. We missed you. A lot. Especially me – you have no idea.”

You laugh sardonically. “Based on your text messages, I think I actually do have an idea.”

Johnny flops down on top of you, crushing you a bit.

“Oh really?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. His golden hair is falling in your face and it tickles, but Johnny halts any laughter with a kiss, then dots tiny kisses all over your cheeks and nose. They tickle too.

“You wanna smoke?”

“Sure.”

Johnny has a pre-rolled joint on his bedside table, and you watch him light it, feeling like you’re in a snow globe with the fall of snowflakes outside. The sky is that weird greyish off-yellow that only comes with a snowy night.

After a couple of hits, Johnny lies back down next to you and hands you the joint. The smoke brings you that usual tight feeling, like your lungs are shrinking but at the same time swimming in radiant heat. You don’t know if you should technically be doing this right after COVID, but you’re young and your body is resilient; you figure you’ll be fine. Besides, you can already feel the pleasant lightness setting in around your mind. It’s a placebo at this point, no doubt, but the relaxed anticipation is nice. You take note of the fact that Johnny had started playing music while you were thinking about lungs. The Strokes’ “Under Control” is doing battle with Ten’s Christmas tunes still seeping in through the cracks in the door.

You hand Johnny his joint back and roll onto your side, supporting your head with one hand and curling the other into Johnny’s abundant hair.

“I just want to say one more time,” you begin, “if worse comes to worst, you can always move in with me.”

Johnny takes another hit and holds it for a second, leaving you in anticipation.

“I know,” he says simply. “But I really think this’ll work. I have to, right? Besides, if Ten had to hear us fucking multiple times a week we would all start to regret living together. That, I can promise.”

You laugh, burying your increasingly silly-feeling head into Johnny’s chest. “Okay, fair.”

There’s stillness for a few beats where you just count your and Johnny’s breaths, trying to synch them up. This doesn’t work though, since Johnny’s lungs are bigger. Then,

“There’s no way your parents would lend you some money?” Your voice comes out quiet. “Or let you stay with them for a while?”

Johnny looks down at you, letting out a heavy sigh. “No, no. That wouldn’t be a good idea for…so many reasons. Besides, they don’t exactly have an extra few months worth of Chicago rent lying around either.”

You nod against Johnny’s chest. “I figured,” you say. “Just checking.”

Johnny brushes his fingers through your hair and kisses your part. “I appreciate your concern,” he says, offering a slightly sly smile.

You kiss the white fabric of his undershirt. It’s been so long since the two of you just laid together, and it feels better than you could have hoped, Johnny’s body heat helping to alleviate some of the cold of an apartment gradually losing its utilities. You wish you could get closer than chest to chest. You kind of wish you could burrow into him, but not in a weird way, you know?

“I believe in you guys,” you say. “However I can help, I will.”

“Thanks.”

Apparently, Johnny is done with talking, because he pulls you in for a warm kiss. Then, he gets the brilliant idea to shotgun the pot smoke. This activity quickly devolves into a very giggly makeout session, only to be interrupted by Ten’s voice outside the door.

“I’m opening the door in five seconds, you guys,” he says, “and if Johnny’s dick is out when I get in there, I’m evicting both of you myself!”

You and Johnny fall together laughing as Ten cautiously cracks the door. He swats at the air in disapproval.

“Stinks…” he remarks. “Oh, thank god you’re decent. Anyway, John, if the lady is staying for the evening, you both need to come help cook dinner, because I am not your housemaid, even if I do look good in a maid costume. Chop-chop.”

It takes way too long to get up out of bed because Ten, as usual, has made both you and Johnny absolutely lose it. Eventually, you manage to rise, but Johnny pulls you quickly back against his lap.

“Hey!”

“Just a minute.” He presses one last kiss under your left ear. “I love you.”

You can feel your skin tingle, although it might just be the weed. Either way, you’ll never tire of hearing that. “I love you too, Johnny.”

“I think Mariah was right,” Johnny whispers, voice displaying mock awe as if he were coming to a mind blowing realization. “All I want for Christmas is you.”

You give him a sympathy chuckle because that was kind of cute, in a corny way, and Johnny just swats your ass a little in response to get you back up to standing.

“Well, you and some basic shelter would be ideal,” Johnny deadpans. “I don’t think that’s too much to ask but I guess we’ll see.” You smile sympathetically. This strike is no doubt going to make for a stressful week, but you’re glad it’s starting like this.

“Hey, love birds!” Ten hollers from the kitchen.

“C’mon,” you say with a laugh. “Let’s not leave him waiting any longer.”

[fangirlcenteral]

Make a Move

Request:  Hi there! Glad ur back! Could you do a Loki x reader where the reader has powers similar to his and is basically a female version of him, and they get along super well and become best friends. Loki then becomes super jealous because he sees her hanging out with a stark intern and he gets all possessive and it ends all fluffy? -anon

A/N: My first request!! I’m so excited. I honestly love this concept so very much and really haven’t thought of this before. But I changed the stark intern to Bucky because I am not creative and here we are. I hope you enjoy this story. Also, sorry I suck at titles. And I used Loki’s on screen powers I didn’t want to dive into research about the comic powers. So i’m making this a series. I got carried away and reached the word limit with just backstory so. A series will be coming. Anyways enjoy. (sorry if it seems rushed. This will be a whole thing this is just kinda to hold you over until then❤❤)

WARNINGS: none

Taglist: @just-the-hiddles

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To say your relationship with Loki was complicated was an understatement. When you joined the Avengers you were forced to be with Loki a lot because your abilities were so similar. Then as time went on you two grew almost close. This happened after a year of being forced to have him train you because you had the same powers.

Over the year you had spent with him you hadn’t made as great of friends with the other Avengers, but you never really tried. Loki and you were close. You didn’t have many friends before, so you didn’t crave social interactions like some of the other members did. You diffidently didn’t hate them, but you didn’t understand them. They lived very fast and dangerous. You were very used to thinking hard and asking why someone would do something. You thought everyone was good somewhere in them, and didn’t really enjoy killing, but you understood why they had to do it. You joined because you understood why they had to do it, they did it to save thousands of people. That’s why you didn’t understand they could still hate Loki so much. He has showed over time how much he had changed.

You had always had feelings somewhere in you for Loki ever since you met him. There was something so intoxicating about him. The way he held himself was so elegant and royal. When you first met him it came off a bit snobby, but as you got to know him you found out that wasn’t how he ever meant it. At first you thought it was just thrill of meeting someone with powers like yours, but it didn’t take long to realize that the warm feeling you felt around him wasn’t just thrill or the raw power you could feel radiating off of him. You never went anywhere with this schoolgirl crush you had developed. You were fine pining at him from a distance and trying to block romantic thoughts knowing he could read your thoughts just as you could.

You had always held a little animosity towards Bucky, not because of anything he had done, because of the way everyone treated him compared to how they treated Loki. He killed people just like Loki had and people still forgave him more than they forgave Loki. You were always nice to him, especially because you could tell he found you rather attractive.

“Hey Y/N,” he said to you one day in the library. You turned to him and smiled then went back to your book.

“Can I ask your opinion on something,” he asked. You closed your book and looked up at him smiling warmly. You could tell that he was a bit nervous.

“Of course, what can I help you with,” you said looking up into his bright blue eyes. He then went on to ask your opinion on an artifact found on the last mission. He had sat down on the love seat with you and was leaning into you. At some point during the conversation you saw the door to the library open and saw Loki walk in and stop looking at the two of you. You didn’t mind it much as you kept talking to Bucky about the artifact.

You became completely engrossed in the conversation and started to lean into Bucky as you got more passionate about the topic at hand. At some point you had placed your hand onto Bucky’s knee as you laughed at a joke he made. When your conversation was done Bucky thanked you and walked off, presumably to find Steve or Tony to tell them what you had just told him. You picked up your book again and began reading. A few minutes later you felt a presence in front of you, and when you looked up you saw a displeased Loki standing in front of you. You smiled up at him and patted the seat next to you.

“is everything okay,” you asked looking at him. You didn’t want to try and read his mind as you had agreed to not do that to each other a few months ago. 

“Yes,” He said shortly as he sat down next to you. You frowned your brow in confusion, but decided to keep your mouth closed since you knew if he wanted to tell you he would and if he didn’t he wouldn’t. You continued to read for a few hours and an hour in you leaned your head onto his shoulder. He didn’t push you off, he just continued on with his book and let you lay on him. He simply shifted and gestured for you to lay on his lap. You shifted and laid down on him as you both continued to read. He didn’t move you at all, not even when you fell asleep or when he was done reading. He simply rested his head on the back of the love seat and began carding his fingers through your hair.

Over the next few days you had found yourself spending more time with Bucky. You trained with him to practice your brute strength. After that you spent time playing cards and chess and just playing games together. Not for any particular reason. You usually don’t play games like that with anyone other than Loki because you can usually hear their thoughts rather loudly. You just enjoyed Bucky’s company more than you enjoyed the company of the others. He didn’t force you to talk. Like Loki, he didn’t talk much, so you didn’t have to deal with pointless conversation that didn’t matter. If he said something it was something important not just mindless jabber that you usually heard from the other Avengers.

Over these few days you noticed Bucky attempting to flirt with you more and more. When you were watching a movie together you noticed his arm resting on the couch behind your head for you to rest your head on. He began leaning a bit closer to you.

“I wanted to tell you that you look beautiful today,” he whispered in your ear. You looked over and smiled at him. He began slowly leaning his face into yours. When suddenly you heard the door get thrown open. You instantly jumped back in surprise and looked up to see and angry Loki walking through the common room towards the kitchen. You then tensed up and scooted away from Bucky subconsciously. You went through the entire movie and your thoughts slowly drifted from the movie to the regal god that had burst through the room a few minutes ago and was now most likely watching you from the kitchen. Your mind then began drifting to when you woke up just a few days earlier with your head nestled into the sleeping gods lap as his hand was tangled into your hair. All you could think of after that was what it would be like to wake up with Loki everyday. Your brain couldn’t help but think about his lips on yours and as you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him closer to you as his hands tangled in your hair and gently pulled it as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. While your thoughts continued to spin through your head and eventually noticed the movie ended and see Bucky began to turn off the television. After that he turned to you and told you goodnight as he stalked off towards his room.

You sat for a second thinking, and as your cheeks started to heat at your thoughts you decided to seek out your favorite asgardian. You stood from the couch and turned to see Loki sitting in the kitchen with his back facing you. He looked almost sad. You creeped slowly into his mind. You knew you promised him not to, but you just had to know what was going on in that gorgeous mind of his. You saw you sitting on his lap on that love seat in the library as he kissed slowly down your neck.

“enjoy what you see,” he said without turning around. A blush spread like a rash across your nose and cheeks as you quickly pulled yourself from the complicated maze that is his mind. He slowly turned around and looked you in the eye as he began to stand.

“I assume you enjoy what you saw, especially considering your thoughts were not far off from that exact thought,” He said slowly stalking towards you. When he reached you he didn’t stop. He slowly circled you as you continued to stare at the floor in embarrassment.

“You were in my head,” you said timidly finding your voice. He chuckled as he finally reached your front again and stared at your face that was still pointed at the floor. He reached his thumb to your chin and tilted your face to his. You kept your eyes tilted down to his chin.

“Look me in the eyes,” he said to you sternly. You slowly scanned his face as your eyes fell onto his. It instantly calmed you down if not only for a second. His mischievous green eyes seemed to glow. You stood there lost in his eyes as he moved his had from your chin to his pointer finger tapping your lip.

“Do you seriously think I didn’t know about your little crush. As much as you have trained in telekinesis, I have trained for centuries longer than you. Anytime you try to block me out or repress a thought, I can still see it,” He said staring into your eyes deeply. All you could do is look back down and let the blush conquer your entire face and neck. Your mind wandered to all the times you had spent together and how you just ruined it all. He reaches down again and grabs your chin again and keeps his hand holding your chin while his thumb pulls on your lower lip and continues talking, “Now, I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted to see if you would do anything about it, but I guess it was bold to assume you wouldn’t entertain yourself with midgardians before you could finally come running back to me.” you somehow turn even redder as you stair into his warm green eyes. He watches you pathetically attempt to find words as he chuckles at you.

“If you want me to kiss you, you are going to have to ask politely love,” he says leaning into you. You close your mouth as you try to convince your words to catch up to you chaotic thoughts. His words only make it harder, since all you can imagine now is his lips on yours.

“Please,” you let out meekly.

“Ah, close. Use your words sweet thing,” He said looking at you in mock pity at your flustered state, “I can promise all your thoughts can come true if you can use your words.”

“Kiss me,” you said as he looked at you expectantly, “please,” you ass shyly.

He smirks and slowly leans into you. You let your eyes close as he stops millimetres from your face. You lean into him as he playfully pulls away and chuckles. You whine desperately at him desperately and keep your eyes closed. You feel his hands slide up your body until one reaches your lower back and tugs you into him. Your hands fall to his chest as your eyes open in shock at his sudden movement. He slides the other hand up to your cheek and strokes your cheek as you let your eyes fall as he lets his lips slowly find yours. The kiss begins slow and carefully as he lets his hand fall back and tangle in the hair right behind your head as he held you impossibly closer to him. You let your hands slide up and wrap around his neck as he slowly nudges your head back further as he breaks the kiss for a millisecond before he roughly pulled your lips to his. His hand tightened in your hair making you let out a small moan. Before you had a chance to be embarrassed about it he was sliding his tongue slowly into your mouth and wraps his hand on your back completely around you using his whole arm to trap you against him. He carefully explores your mouth with his tongue sweetly, a stark contrast to his cocky and condescending attitude. Slowly he pulls his tongue out and sinks his teeth into your lower lip as he pulls away from you. Making you whine pathetically as you’re lip snapped back at you. You leave your eyes closed as you lean your head lightly on his chest while you catch your breath. Loki slides his hand from your hair tugging the ends lightly as it travels down to join his other arm which loosens to hold a hand on each of your hips and he caressed his thumb against your clothed hips. He laughed breathily as he kisses the top of your head.

“I thoroughly enjoyed that, and I would assume you did too based on your reaction,” he said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” you said against his chest.

“I always assumed you were quite vocal, but the confirmation was nice. I thoroughly enjoyed this,” He said smiling down at you.

“I don’t usually do that,” you said slowly looking up at him smirking.

“And most kisses aren’t like that,” he said smiling, “Now are you finally ready to just stay mine, or do you need to torture me with other men.”

“I don’t think I would be able to kiss anyone else after a kiss like that,” you said pulling away from him. As you looked around you remembered that you are standing in the middle of the kitchen where anyone could walk in.

“Well, if I could be so honored lady Y/N, would you like to join me in my room as I remember a certain thought of falling asleep next to me I could make true,” Loki said smirking down at you.

You giggled and nodded at him and let him drag you to his room where you spent the rest of the night talking, kissing, and him holding you while you slept through the night.

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A/N: I have a lot of backstory and more to this story, so I am making this into a series. Sorry if this seems rushed or short. I felt bad that this had taken so long because I wrote what will probably end up being part of the series. So I am sorry if you don’t like this, there will be more of a super powerful amazing strong reader with these powers coming up. I also have some other people to write about, and another request. So I have a lot more content coming at you soon. As always I hope you enjoy, and as always feedback is welcomed and my ask box and messages are open for requests and just generally being friends. If you need a friend. So do I, I got you, i’m here for you. Have a great day/night.❤❤❤

[arknights-imagines]

For the sentence starters can you do ''just say the word, you know i'd do anything for you'' with Flamebringer please?

Hello anon! Tysm for the request! I haven't written for Flamebringer before so I read everything on him to try to get a sense of his character 💕 I hope I did him justice!!

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“just say the word . you know i’d do anything for you .”

Imagine format; no real 'fixed' perspective here

Contains: Flamebringer, gender neutral Doctor, Flamebringer being a lil soft

Word count: a little over 1k

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"Flamebringer? Here you go, sorry I took so long."

Approaching him a little quietly, the Doctor handed him a small jar of soil, movements a bit idle. The Sarkaz looked up from his place seated upon one of the benches in the greenhouse, taking the jar from the Doctor's hands with a "thank you".

To anyone else, the sight of Flamebringer tending to plants in the Rhodes Island greenhouse would have triggered a double take and a look of disbelief, but to those who were well acquainted with him at that point, finding him in the greenhouse when there wasn't a battle going on was perfectly normal - it's where the Doctor looked first if they needed to find them.

The Doctor nodded in reply, before taking a seat on the bench beside him. "Are the flowers looking okay?" They asked, getting a small hum in reply, "The sun is shining brightly today, and they have been looked after by that medic, Perfumer in my absence."

The Doctor looked up, eyes fixed on the sky though the wide glass panes of the greenhouse. "Yeah, I guess the sun is bright today." Their words were a little mumbly, their shoulders slumping by a hair.

Flamebringer lifted a brow, staring at them from the corner of his eye. Placing down the flowerpot he had been holding in his hands, the Sarkaz turned his attention to the Doctor. Speaking their name, his eyes scanned their facial expression as he spoke, "You don't seem as vigilant as normal."

The Doctor blinked, surprise on their face for a moment.

Their relationship to Flamebringer was a bit of a complicated one. From the moment they had first met him, it felt like a bond was already there - and upon further listening, they had met before, which was a memory they unfortunately couldn't remember. Flamebringer was viewed in many ways, and it seemed as though the Doctor was only one who was able to truly see the person behind the bloodthirsty warrior they all saw on the battlefields. With that being said, their relationship was definitely close; they were more than just Operator and Doctor.

Snapping from their thoughts, the Doctor shook their head a little, "What makes you say that?"

A bit of a smirk pulled at Flamebringers lips, "Ahh, I was watching you, you stood there staring at the cabinet with no expression before coming here to give me the seeds." He turned to face them, expression amused, "Unless the cabinet was so enthralling that you felt the need to stare at it, I think it's safe to assume there's something occupying your thoughts."

The Doctor stared at him for a second with slightly widened eyes, before a sigh left them, "I guess I do have…other things in my mind."

The Sarkaz made a thoughtful noise, "Your life can flash by in a blink. Time spent dwelling in the past or worrying about the future will be time you regret once death approaches."

They shook their head, "No, that's not it. I just have a lot to think about, I guess." The Doctor shrugged, "These battles I lead everyone into, they don't get any easier."

"A weak enemy proves nothing. A worthy battlefield is nothing to be upset about." Flamebringer replied, standing beside his beliefs about the battle as usual.

They frowned a bit, "I guess I'm just not sure what we're going to do once this is all over. What if we haven't gotten rid of Oripathy? What if there's barely any of us left?" Their eyes seemed a thousand miles away, their dolorous expression a stark contrast from the sun smiling down on them.

Sighing in frustration, they stood hastily with a shake of their head, "Nevermind. I shouldn't be bothering you with this-"

Before they were able to take their leave, Flamebringer's hand caught their wrist, spinning them back around to face him. Surprised, they watched as the Sarkaz's eyes focused on their facial features before softening just slightly.

Beginning with their name, the man spoke, "All flowers will wither someday. 'When' is not worth lingering on." Slowly, he took their hand in his own; a small smile played his lips, mixed with a smirk, "You, blossom, shouldn't worry on when your life will end - the present is worth more than what may happen or what is to be."

'Blossom'. The nickname was new - rarely had he called them anything else other than their name. But for some reason, 'Blossom' felt familiar. Though, they pushed it away for now - they already had enough to think about.

The Doctor lifted a brow. No matter how close they were to him, his poetic way of speech always made them stop to think - there wasn't a word he said that they didn't linger on. "Flame….what are you getting at?"

The Sarkaz clicked his tongue, "These flowers, the clashing of swords; I don't feel compassion for many things." Their hand in his own, his eyes met theirs with earnestness. "But it is something I feel for you. You may not remember that, but that doesn't make it any less true."

Surprise was on the Doctor's face - from the sincerity of his words to the warm way they laced their fingers with his. Flamebringer was a man nearing death with passing everyday, yet did not fear the day it would take his life. His time left was short, and he spent it on only the things he found worthy; the Doctor had trouble believing he saw that same worth in them.

Without hesitancy, Flamebringer brought their hand to his cheek, his smirk softening into a small smile, "You don't have to believe that at this moment. But, when it should come to it, blossom, " Flamebringer paused, eyes flicking down for a moment before returning to the Doctor's face with an unusual gentleness that they had only every seen when Flamebringer tended to his flowers," Just say the word. You know I’d do anything for you."

Sometimes, it was hard to understand the meaning of the things Flamebringer said, but the look in his eyes and the way he held their hand to his cheek carried all the meaning they needed.

Sighing once again, this time more lightly then before, and a smile came to their face. "I believe you. I may not remember you, Flamebringer, but I don't need to remember you to feel the same way." Moving forward, the Doctor wrapped their arms around his torso, hugging him with emotion, "Thank you, but…I think this is all I need right now." They admitted, hiding their face from the sun. Their movements were sudden, but they no longer felt anxious in the slightest.

Flamebringer paused for a moment, but at their muffled voice, he chuckled, an amused smirk pulling at his lips, "If all your wishes will be as mundane as that, I may just renege on my words."

But as he listened to the small chime of their laugh and wrapped their form in his arms, he vowed to stay true to his promise until his life came to an end.

[mychemicalficrecs]

Hiya! Not sure if you do this, but would you be able to suggest some non-ao3 finished frerard fics? It seems I've read ao3's entire collection 😅 Thank you so much, you're honestly my favourite blog on here xx

Thanks for your kind words, Nonny! And... congratz on reading the entire ao3 tag, there are a lot of works there :D

Frank/Gerard is such a popular ship that I was actually able to find quite a lot from outside ao3.

Non-AO3 Frank/Gerard

Thing-Thing by sinsense, 43k, NC-17. When Gerard signed the admissions paperwork for the Fordhaven School for Boys, he knew he was signing up for four years of sexual frustration. No one was gay at Fordhaven. Gerard was all-too-aware that he would be a virgin until he graduated. In his senior year, though, this stupid gay freshman disproves Fordhaven's straightness, and throws Gerard's entire world off-kilter. Now, in between drawing, avoiding bullies, running an incredibly serious tabletop RP game, failing out of math, and hanging out with friends, Gerard is also busy kind of falling for this asshole who's way too young for him. It's not what he planned on, but it's what's happening. In conclusion: high school sucks.

I Think I Thought (I Saw You Try) by thatsfinewithus, ~3,000, NC-17. Welcome to some weird AU world in which Gee only does awesome comics and Frank is a vampire.

They Came From Outer Jersey! by thatsfinewithus, 25k, R. New London Fire is an elite fringe government force assigned the task of protecting the earth from some of its more interesting threats: those from beyond the atmosphere or even the universe. They've handled dangerous cases before, but they've never seen anything like...ZOMBIES FROM SPACE. Vampires, long hunted in lore and legend, are now the earth's only saviors. There is little information as to who sent the creatures until Mikey Way, head of the NLF, finds out more by being abducted. Is it too late for him? Is it too late for the earth? Find out how six vampires, one government general, and one frustrated comic book artist save the earth in...THEY CAME FROM OUTER JERSEY!!

I never told you what I do for a living. by not0_fuckin_kay, 60k+, PG-13 to NC-17. Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of. When a new pateint is brought in with amnesia, just days before Christmas, and with nothing but the clothes on his back and a strange drawing, it's left to Frank to find out who he is and what happened to him. When he does, it changes Frank's life forever, as he's thrust into love and health scares he never thought would complicate his life. This is the story of how he tries to make it through, juggling his job and his love-life and just trying to make things better. With Patrick the doctor, Bob the ward supervisor, Travis the unlikely therapist, and Mikey, the sometimes wannabe homicidal geek.

Of All The Hidden Corners by moneyes, ~44K, PG-13. An epic, adventurous tale filled with alternate universes, lords, mischief, magical powers, snark, boyfriends, and luck of the bad kind.

All We Are by lightisbreaking, 21k, R. Set in the future, where humans are on the brink of evolution. For the select few born with a special awareness of their own minds - an awareness which gives them abilities beyond the norm, life is suddenly a very dangerous thing. Frightened of what this could mean, the government set out to make this new race of humans extinct, telling the public that these people are mentally unstable defectives and must be kept under observation for the safety of the public. All of this brings together a rather odd troupe of people, hiding from the government and eventually having to protect one of their own when he's taken into custody. Superpowers AU!

Tell Us a Story by bexless, imogenedisease, 32k, NC-17. The world as these kids know it is ending, and Gabe Saporta is throwing the party. High school AU based on the movie Can't Hardly Wait.

Stay Right Here by idktbh, swagneto, 28k, R. Frank is involved in an accident which renders him paralyzed from the waist down. When Frank begins to withdraw into himself, his relationship with Gerard crumbles and the band faces the hardest decision they'll ever make: whether to continue playing or not. This is a story about how MCR copes with the biggest obstacle of their career so far.

Return to Spirit Lake by inpurity, 22k, R. Gerard Way has left Spirit Lake when he was eighteen to study to become a veterinary surgeon, and with no intention of ever coming back. Twelve years later he is back, carrying secrets of a life spent away from his family and friends, and the weight of a dark, painful sorrow. His old home town has not changed, but his life, and the lives of the people he will meet along the way, will never be the same.

These Friday Night Lights by faux-disco-sins, 21k, PG-13. Gerard is the head cheerleader and wears the cheer skirt, Frank is on the football team, Pete is the school mascot, Ryan is the school’s hobo journalist, Jon does photography for the yearbook, Spencer and Patrick are in the marching band, Gabe and Ray are AV techs who do a ESPN spin-off for the school, Bob is the big scary lineman, and Mikey tries to fit in while ignoring the fact that his older brother is wearing a skirt in public.

Of Love And Superpowers by mcrnut, 20k, NC-17. Seventeen year old Frank Iero is in his last year at Mutant High. He has a couple of good friends, is doing okay in school and even though he has some issues with his Mother, life is pretty great. That is, until one day, when he overhears some of the professors talking about the well-known Anti-Mutant organization HSA and how they have already broken into two Mutant Academies and are heading their way. Frank and his friends have to stick their heads together and try to solve the mystery, and as if Frank didn't have enough to think about already, he finds himself falling for his friend's older brother, Gerard.

Cypress Grove by slashxyouxup, 24k+, NC17. My Chemical Romance fight off a town of sperm hoarding, men hating, PMSing maniac women in order to save themselves from certain doom! Also, Frank and Gerard get closer than close while pretending to not be completely in love with each other. Mikeyway is not amused.

Sleepwalker by lyrical_tragedy, 73k, NC-17. Frank Iero is one of the best cops in New Jersey so it’s only natural that his boss dumps a seemingly unsolvable case on him and his colleague Bob Bryar. With no leads whatsoever Frank enlists the help of Gerard Way, a reclusive young man who experiences strong visions and dreams of events from the past and visions of the future. However, none of them could ever begin to expect the terrifying chain of events that come into play once they delve deeper into the unknown, questioning Frank’s very beliefs on what the world actually holds. A story of visions, sacrifices, over protective brothers and love all in the midst of the attempted destruction of the world. The devil’s got your number and he will come calling, until it’s nothing more than hell on earth.

Patience Is A Virtue (You Might Be Good Looking, But You Can’t Sleep With Yourself Tonight) by eflorentino, 22k, NC-17. Frank Iero’s biggest hero is Gerard Way; the outspoken, obnoxious lead singer of the multi-platinum selling band My Chemical Romance. His world changes completely when he finds himself suddenly shoved into the limelight, playing sell-out shows every night and earning more than his usual $6 an hour. However, the infamously homophobic frontman isn’t what Frank expects, and after mixed signals and unsolved revelations he learns that, with Gerard Way, things are never simple.

But Nobody Cares If You're Losing Yourself by red_ones_fly, 16k, NC-17. It took me a while to work out that there was something wrong with Gerard, he kept it hidden well and, really, he didn’t even know something was wrong with him. To him it seemed like normal, everyday stuff. He never found any of his behaviour out of the ordinary. To him it was just reality.’ After Gerard's grandma passes away his behaviour becomes strange. He becomes less outgoing and more paranoid. As Frank tries to work out what’s going on with his friend/love interest, between school, learning psychology and dealing with the jocks, he doesn’t realise just how bad it is.

Parks and Recreation by vinvy, 35k+, PG-13. Gerard Way is an art school drop out with no prospects, student loans to pay off, and a dead end job. His mother works too hard and his little brother Mikey is keeping secrets. His boss runs shady contracts and smiles too much. It's nothing special and he tells himself that he'll learn to make peace with that- in the meantime he's got to carve out a living that doesn't involve artwork. Really, he's going to be okay. Then a crazy homeless kid comes along and screws up Gerard's Adventures in Normal Employment with his hippie magic and soulless eyes. Gerard can't shake the feeling that this guy "isn't quite right" but he's too busy fending off the freak accidents that are following him around to worry about that particular winged freak.

Empire Boys by noctecaelum, 30k, NC-17. In the city that never sleeps, it's tough to get your foot in the door. While Gabe Saporta may find it easy to blend into the socialite scene; Gerard Way spends his day blending eyeshadow at Bloomingdales. As newcomer Frank triumphs in Women's Lingerie, Gerard sparks a bitter rivalry in the vicinity of Lexington and 59th; but there's no use crying over spilt coffee because things are about to fire up. Meanwhile, on the Upper East Side, Gabe Saporta is none too pleased to read a socialite-bashing article, but when confronting the writer, he doesn't expect to meet fresh faced, pretty-boy William Beckett, who turns out to be the biggest tease this side of the Downtown Dunkin' Donuts.

The Evolution Index by theficisalie, 32k, NC-17. In a world where superpowers are just another thing that can get you sent to boarding school, Frank Iero and his friends know what it's like to operate under heavy levels of stress. After all, they did spend their formative years under the wings of the United States Government's most widespread and successful initiatives; a program that was created to protect and train young Americans with superpowers to become functioning members of society. And, as a side-benefit, the government realized that not only were telepaths great at taking drink orders, but they could also be trained to be highly successful secret agents. Under the guidance of Frank's volatile and (literally) power-hungry boyfriend Gerard Way; Frank, Mikey Way, and Ray Toro are an accomplished team of super spies. When a handful of people from Frank's sordid past crop up during an investigation of rash Superhuman disappearances across the country, the team finds themselves challenged both on and off the field as they fight to solve the mysteries plaguing their beloved nation. Frank knows all too much about uncovering things that he'd rather keep hidden, but can he and his team unravel the intricate web of crime and kidnapping surrounding Chicago without losing themselves in the process?

A Good Ocean Gone Wrong by xoxxblitz7, 32k, NC-17. Titanic AU - The Way's are one of the richest families in America and sometimes being an artist requires the need to travel. On the doomed maiden voyage of Titanic old friends are found, new love is formed and put to the test and the most luxurious crossing of the Atlantic ocean becomes a fight for survival.

A Fanfiction (In Which Gerard Has A Secret Stash of Star Wars Fanfiction) by sparklefap, 10k, R. Frank finds Gerard's bizarrely erotic Star Wars fanfiction, and is both disturbed and aroused by it. Those feelings won't do for Frank. He seeks revenge.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 1/4/21

Black Clover, Vol. 23 | By Yuki Tabata | Viz Media – Given we came to the end of a very long arc last time, it makes sense that there’s a lot of goofy comedy before we start the next arc (which has a timeskip!). Fortunately, Black Clover is pretty good at being dumb and goofy in a shonen way—I’ve said before that it’s ripping off every single shonen series in the world, but it’s not doing it badly. Therefore we get a lot of silly love confessions, and priestesses who wear spiral “nerd” glasses like Mousse from Ranma 1/2. Oh yes, and Asta is not executed—for now. They still think he’s totally evil, though. Hopefully fighting a devil may help to change that opinion. This has become one of the longest-running Jump series now, and it’s easy to see why it’s still going. – Sean Gaffney

Days of Love at Seagull Villa, Vol. 1 | By Kodama Naoko | Seven Seas – Another yuri series from this author, this book starts with one of our heroines fleeing to the countryside after her boyfriend gets her best friend pregnant. She’s there to teach (and boy, her class could use some lessons in “don’t slutshame and don’t bully”), but she’s also staying with a young woman who’s raising a kid alone after her whole family was killed. The two are seeming opposites, but turn out to possibly have much in common. The yuri so far here is just a drunken kiss, but I’m sure there will be more to it. That said, the series seems content to introduce its cast and then start to simmer things to a slow boil. That’s good too. I want to learn more about this village. – Sean Gaffney

Didn’t I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life?! Everyday Misadventures!, Vol. 1 | By FUNA and Yuki Moritaka | Seven Seas – I was expecting this to be a 4-koma sort of volume, but it isn’t. Instead it’s just goofy comedy chapters without the ongoing plot that we get in the normal series. So you get things like Reina trying to learn to cook, and Mavis getting hit on by women again, etc. The usual stereotypes apply—Pauline has large breasts, Mile is… well, Mile, Reina is hot-headed, etc. There’s also a flashback to Adele’s experiences at school, where it turns out that all the school’s “Seven Mysteries” are just her being stupidly overpowered. No one should get this who’s not a fan of the original, but those who are should be quite pleased. – Sean Gaffney

Dr. STONE, Vol. 14 | By Riichiro Inagaki and Boichi | Viz Media – Most of this volume is trying to rescue everyone from the evil village “god” and his even more evil minion, who is unfortunately more overpowered than most of our team. On the cool side, most of the rest of the group gets un-petrified after recovering their bodies from the ocean floor, thanks to the power of Taiju being really strong and really dumb. On the less-cool side, Kohaku and Ginro are now petrified, though frankly that’s a good thing in Ginro’s case, as he was bleeding to death. This is probably the biggest villain that Senku and company have had to face before, so it makes sense that he’s finally taking a very dark step (as he himself says) and bringing guns into this world. Great fun. – Sean Gaffney

Eniale & Dewiela, Vol. 1 | By Kamome Shirahama | Yen Press – I was told when I saw who the author of this series was that I should not expect it to be much like Witch Hat Atelier, and that’s an understatement if anything. Oh, the art is still amazingly gorgeous, but the content is very much designed for those who enjoy the dynamic of, say, Gabriel Dropout. An angel and a demon are best friends despite sniping at each other the entire volume. Eniale is a bit of a featherhead. Dewiela has a bit of a temper. Together, they get involved in Very Wacky Situations. How much you enjoy this will depend on how wacky you find the situations. I found it fun, but I think I would enjoy it better in a magazine chapter by chapter than in volume form. – Sean Gaffney

Hatsu*Haru, Vol. 13 | By Shizuki Fujisawa | Yen Press – This series about four couples—heavily overbalanced towards two of them—finally comes to a close by going back to its leads, as Riko’s mom is moving due to her job and… is NOT asking Riko to come with her. Yes, the final volume involves everyone trying to self-sacrifice the most, with lots of tears and angry words. Of course we know that Riko really needs to be with her mom, even if they may not have the best relationship, which of course means that she and Kai are now far from each other. Fortunately, it’s the final volume, so this can be resolved with a flash forward to college. This was a solid series, but I’ll remember it for Takaya and Ayumi more than anyone else—in fact, possibly just Ayumi. – Sean Gaffney

I Love You So Much, I Hate You | By Yuni | Yen Press – Ayako Asano and Saori Fujimura are both accomplished, successful career women working closely with each other at their company. But outside of the office they’re even closer—they’ve actually started sleeping with one another. Two women becoming romantically involved isn’t so much of an issue, but the fact that Ayako is both married to a man and is Saori’s boss poses some significant problems. I Love You So Much, I Hate You is a mature manga dealing with some mature themes. Initially, there are definite imbalances in Ayako and Saori’s relationship, each woman approaching it from a different starting point and hoping to get different things out of it. However, over the course of the volume their needs and desires begin to align. But it’s not easy for either of them for a variety of reasons; granted, a relationship that starts out as an affair is bound to be complicated. – Ash Brown

An Incurable Case of Love, Vol. 5 | By Maki Enjoji | Viz Media – Nanase and Dr. Tendo are a couple now, so, inevitably, we must introduce the rivals. This volume gives us the first one, a rich young man with a medical condition who cynically says that people only care about him because of his money. He runs into Nanase, who is, well, herself, and falls head over heels in love with her. I was impressed how the author took this old-standard josei manga trope and simply… had the leads act like adults. There are a few misunderstandings and small fights, but there’s no huge blowup or breakup, mostly as Dr. Tendo is very familiar with who Nanase is. That said, Nanase still has self-image issues, and the cliffhanger implies a stronger rival on the way. Maki Enjoji is always good. – Sean Gaffney

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Vol. 17 | By Aka Akasaka | Viz Media – While we’re still dealing with the consequences of Miyuki and Kaguya dating, the series really has gotten very good at the tiny little jokes. Including possibly the DARKEST ‘in between chapters’ gag I’ve ever seen, where Iino talks about how she enjoys pain as it makes her “feel safe.” As for Chika, I think she has realized that the author increasingly doesn’t know what to do with her. She probably does not have a big character-building arc like the other four, so she’s essentially the goofy one that annoys people, something she is catching on to. Though the funniest chapter in this book features Karen invading the main title from her spin-off manga—still sadly not licensed—and almost getting everyone arrested. – Sean Gaffney

Practice Makes Perfect, Vol. 3 | By Ui Hanamiya | Kodansha Comics (digitial only) – This volume has our lead couple finally going all the way, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t problems. For one, the first time HURTS, and even successive attempts are nine parts pain to one part pleasure for Nohara (who, amusingly, is still trying to handle this in a “sports” way, as is Yano). There’s also the fact that Yano thinks that Nohara is going to break if he tries to be anything but super super gentle, which… also is not helping, though it leads to the volume’s best joke. Fortunately, the next volume is the last. Unfortunately, it appears that we’re going to get a “hey, the girl I love spends her days surrounded by hot guys!” chapter. Still, this Rated-R manga is still a lot more fun than I expected. – Sean Gaffney

By: Ash Brown

[goldenvalentyne]

Castaway

Masterlist

Word count: 2111

May 20

You never meant to lose your temper. It just happened. One moment you and Ashton were fine. You could be snuggled up, watching a show, and the next second you’d be in a full blown out war. That is exactly what happened that night.

The previous weeks had been tame in the context of your relationship with Ashton. There was no fighting, minor remarks to one another, but for the most part you had been relaxed. Ashton had gone out for a guys day while you stayed in and had some much needed self care. He came home at a decent time and had dinner with you. Everything was going smoothly, until a stupid photo emerged. One you should not have been jealous of, or even taken a second glance at. But the relationship had been too solid, you were in need of drama, something you often got caught up in and enjoyed a little too much.

You knew she was only a friend and that she even had a boyfriend. You felt no threat by her, but you let it all out. You hit below the belt in this argument. Every little thing that Ashton had done in the 2 weeks prior that pissed you off in any way was spewing from your mouth. He was caught off guard by your sudden anger, but that did not stop him from releasing some of his own pent up aggression.

It ended with you leaving his apartment, making sure to slam the door, leaving the place to raddle

June 27

The next time you would see Ashton was on stage at a festival. Against the advice of all your friends, you still went and watched their set. Your heart ached watching him. He looked just plain sad the whole time, not like he was enjoying every minute of it which he always did. You stuck around in hopes that he would come out and you could “accidentally” bump into him, but that never happened.

Instead you went back to your apartment, no longer filled with pictures of the two of you, those were smashed or stuffed into the back of your closet. The last piece of evidence that Ashton had ever been there was a teddy bear. So cliche, he had won it at a fair for you in the early days of your relationship. You held that damn bear close to your chest the whole night and let the tears flow. In the weeks since you had left you never once blamed him. You knew that you had been the one in the wrong and that he did not owe you anything, but it still hurt. He didn’t answer the phone calls the days after you stormed from his apartment, but you never expected him to. You had been unfair to him, and he was protecting himself.

July 7

It was Ashton’s birthday. You spent the whole morning contemplating if you should call. You weren’t friends and no longer lovers, but you felt like he deserved something from you, after the way you had treated him.

It was after many drinks and three rom coms before you actually built up the courage to call him. You did not even hesitate at the point. You didn’t not expect an answer, and you did not receive one. Then you left an embarrassing long, slurred happy birthday message along with an apology. By the end of the night you left five more. In the morning there was finally an answer from him. It was a short text asking you not to call him again. Even though it was a generic message you could feel that he was hurt, and you did not want that for him.

September 29

The fall was setting in quickly. Leaves had already started to change. Emotionally you had been improving. Every second of the day was not spent thinking about Ashton but there were the occasional moments when he would slip in your mind. Then it would get bad again. You weren’t hurt that the relationship was over but more upset how you had hurt him.

You saw him again. It was the first time since the summer. He had his hand wrapped up. You could tell that the injury had taken place not long before. It was at a party. He had the same daunting look that he had at the festival. Everyone was dancing around him and having a good time. You sat across the room, intently staring at him. He was beautiful. You always made it a point to tell him that. Had anyone told him he was beautiful in four months?

He locked eyes with you. It was a cold look that you felt in your body. It was one of hatred. You left soon after. Then spent the rest of the night replaying the way his eyes looked. They were dull, but there was still a spark somewhere deep inside them. Maybe he was forgiving you? But you had not forgiven yourself, so that felt like a long shot.

October 25

It was your birthday. The first one in three years that would not be spent with Ashton and his friends. The first one that was not going to consist of a large party, music and drinking too much. Instead you sat yourself on the couch and prepared for a long night of sad movies, the only feeling that you had felt in so long.

Deep inside you wished that Ashton would call you. Maybe he would just send a text letting you know that he had not forgotten about you. It was just a hopeful wish.

The afternoon turned into darkness. Raindrops tapped on the windows. You cried a lot that night. You did not know if it was from the movies or the fact that you were spending the day alone. Sure you had friends and family that sent birthday wishes and reached out to get together. But all you really wanted was Ashton.

It was 3 am. You felt the vibrations against your leg. Your heart was climbing out of your throat. You grabbed for it as fast as you could. The shaking of your hands weren’t helping. All of the adrenaline left as you realized it was not Ashton calling. Instead it was Luke, someone who you also had not talked to months.

“Hello?”

“Happy Birthday y/n”

“Thank you Luke”

“Did you think I would forget?”

“Considering it has been over for 3 hours, yes I thought you forgot.”

“Hey I’m just a little late.”

“Can I ask you something Luke?”

“Sure.”

“How is he?”

“Y/n, lets not get into this.”

“Just tell me if he is okay.”

“He’s doing better okay. He still gets upset and punches things. But he’s better at controlling it all. You really fucked with him.”

“I kinda fucked with myself while I was at it.”

“Don’t get yourself worked up about it though okay. You weren’t right for each other for months before you broke up. Even though it hurts, I think it’s better for both of you to be apart.”

December 27

It took everything out of you to get through family Christmas alone. You watched all your cousins, even those younger, with their partners. They looked extra in love during the holiday season. All while you sat on the couch, looking miserable to others.

The days following Christmas were harder. There was a rumor Ash had been seen with another girl. The same one from that night you left. This time they walked hand in hand. If you were being honest, it broke you. You screamed until your throat was on fire. You found all the pictures shoved in your closet just to smash the glass.

The remainder of the night was spent looking out the window as snowflakes drifted down. A tear would slip down your cheek every once in a while. At some point you fell asleep curled in a ball beneath The window.

February 17

Days had gotten so much easier. You got back into the routine of being alone and even picked up extra time at work. Life felt great for the first time since last spring. You felt like you could breathe again. Everything was almost perfect again. But nothing stays like that for long.

It was 3:00 on the dot that afternoon. After a short two months he had broken up with her. It was like breaking news all over you social media. You couldn’t help but feel relieved that she was no longer taking your spot, but something didn’t feel right. You knew he was probably at home, broken all over again. Everything he did to forget you and move on, probably all ruined now.

It took everything to not call him that night and give your condolences for the lost relationship. You wanted so badly to go to him in a time of need. Maybe he would be with you for the night. But you knew that would just be playing with him in a vulnerable time. So instead you just sat quietly in your room hoping he’d give you a call.

March 16

The hardest day of the healing process was when you talked to Ashton. For some reason you ended up at Luke’s house, and of course Ashton so happened to also. In the end you knew it was a set up.

Ashton yelled a lot. You took it though and let him explain his frustration.

“Do you understand how fucked I was y/n! Cause you walked out and left me stranded, nothing left but broken picture frames”

“I’m sorry Ash. I don’t know why I acted that way that night, but you didn’t deserve it. But don’t you think we are better off apart?”

“Of course I do y/n! But I just keep asking myself how’d we drift so far away?”

“Times changes people. We spent so much of our young years together and were still growing up. As we grew, we grew apart. It happens.”

His body softened. He sat down and but his head in his hands. You wanted so bad to reach out and hold him, but it would make the situation even worse.

“Late night conversations led to complications. You know I was stupid and got jealous. I’ve grown over the past year, I really have Ashton. Neither one of us could if we didn’t separate.”

“That’s all true but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. Everyday I wake up and hope it wasn’t true. My heart aches for you. It’s heartbreak I can’t escape. I’ve tried to move on so many times and I just keep seeing your face. Eyes closed, all I see is good time disappearing. And yes our relationship was complete shit at times, but I loved you. You left in such an unfair way. I feel like it’s a sinking ship that I’ll never save. Now my heart is in my hands and I’m lonely like a castaway.”

Every word tugged on your heart more. You knew that you had hurt him, but not like this. Your head was spinning. Flashes of that night in May were swirling around. You reached for his hand and to your surprise he let you hold it. You met his eyeline. His eyes were filled with tears but that was no different to yours.

“I’m sorry Ashton. I was awful to you in the end. You did some terrible things too but that does not excuse how I acted. I loved you and a part of me does and will forever. But I know we are better off not together. If I could change how it ended, I would go back a thousand times until I was all okay.”

“And I’m trying to hold on. I don’t know what to. The rest of my life maybe, or everything you were a part of. But everything feels wrong. But maybe after tonight, things can get better once and for all.”

You gave the smallest smile you could because that warmed your heart. From that you knew you could move on and not worry about Ashton anymore.

May 20

It took two months from the confrontation for things to feel okay. Ashton was not on your mind every second of the day. You knew he was okay and he was getting better. For the first time you felt that you could move on if you wanted. You smiled and cheered him on as a friend. That longing for him was disappearing. Life felt content, like a weight was lifted.

[sadomasochistic-vibe]

Boy

I entered a bar in a barely known city. I was there only for a convent or conference, of course I was sent by my boss. My goal was simple - to relax and just reset my mind. I wish I would go for simple goals everyday, but no. I have to be complicated and different, because my fucking mind won’t ever consider thinking about myself in other way. Anyway I ordered a beer at the bar and sat by the table, where my colleagues was awaiting me. I was happy that I wasn’t alone. Unfortunately, everty time that something nice happens to me, the Universe reminds itself. “Balance, balance, Ginger. There always has to be balance”. Fucking hipocrite, where was your balance when the Australia was literally the Hell on Earth? I just sat by that damn table, talking to my colleagues, when I saw him. Tall as a giraffe and drew up, because the walls of the bar was high enough to, apparently fit a freaking giraffe. The lush shock he used to have on his head was completely gone, but his cheeks and chin were covered with thick beard, in compensation I guess. He was smiling widely, chating with a group of people who were unknown to me. That was when I realised, I came to this city totally forgetting he lived there. But why should I care about that fact? Well, I am always afraid of bumping into old friends. And by old I don’t mean bffs since second grade to this day, but people I was very intimate with for a short period of time, not so long time ago. This relationships were short but extremely  intense. At the moment I always thought: ”This will last forever. We are so perfect together” but it never did. To be clear, I mean all relationships, romantic and friendly. So, when I bump into an old friend I always feel embarassed and hopeful. Embarassed - because I live convinced that it is always my fault that the relationship ends. Hopeful - because I so desperately want them back in my life that I wish everything would be the same as it used to be and we will be together, again. So I was staring at him, filled with embarassment and hope.  It was nice to see him happy, spending time with people what were not a threat to me or my delicate mind. I pleasured myself with capturing every move he made and every change of expression on his face. He was so relaxed and everything about him was effortless. He looked at me. I swear he had telepathic powers, cause in that moment I’ve hear: “Oh, you” in his voice, in my head.  Just a moment after he looked away, just like that. Of course. He didn’t remember me or didn’t want to remember. My second fear. Being forgotten. I grasped my cigarette case with shaky hand and headed towards the exit in silence with lowered head. Shortly, I just left. I was filled with the unknown combination of emotions. I recognized embarassment (again), anger and sadness. I bet that I also felt lonely and empty inside. I took out my lighter, but couldn’t use it. Each  spin on the caster was faster and stroner than the last one. When I thought I caugth a perfect rythm, lighted, unknown lighter appeared in front of my face. I looked up and saw round, smiling face. “Miss Ginger, please accept my help” he chirped. “Your help in feeding my cancer?” I replied  instinctively. The boy giggled and looked down on me. His blue eyes were glimmering. I knew these little sparkles too well.  I never could and still can’t hide the fact that I love when someone looks at me that way. I remembered that sometimes he looked at me like that in the past, but no action followed it. But that was in the past. The boy leaned down, took my cheek in his hand and kissed me without hesitation. His lips were warm, soft and sweet. The taste didn’t change despite the time that passed since I last kissed him. I had kissed him then, because I had know that he would had never do that himself. I had been so stubborn in getting what I wanted that I did it. Just to check how would I felt about it, but that hadn’t been important. My feelings never mattered. After that calamitous kiss everything had changed. But that was in the past. I wanted to press my lips on his lips forever, but only after a few seconds all of that, that beautiful, spontaneous act was over. The boy stepped back. I opened my eyes. We looked at each other for a moment. The boy slowly opened his mouth and said: "See you". After that he just... left.

We’ve never met again.

[ddproductionsw77]

Feeling It. Chapter Two.

Fandom: The Beatles

Pairings: (Eventually) Paul McCartney x John Lennon, (Past) Paul McCartney x Jane Asher, (Mentioned) George Harrison x Pattie Boyd, Ringo Starr x Maureen Cox

Characters: Paul McCartney, Mary McCartney, George Harrison, (Mentioned) Pattie Boyd, Ringo Starr, Maureen Cox, Ivan Vaughan

Rating: T (Unless Strong language offends you, then watch out)

Description: Paul is trying his best to raise his daughter, earn a living, and complete his education. John is an unplanned complication.

Author’s Note: This is completely a work of fiction, not meant to offend anyone or imply anything about real people. The song for this chapter is ‘Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked’ by Cage The Elephant

___________________________________________________________

John

“John!” A voice yelled, accompanied by a hard smack on his bedroom door, “Get up, you lazy bugger! Nearly 2 in the afternoon, Jesus!”

Somewhere beside him, John felt another body stirring among his sheets. He turned his head and cracked his eyes open to a head of long, curly blond hair and a slender figure. He vaguely recalled the night before, it was just the bird he’d managed to tempt home.

The girl groaned, pushing herself up, “Is it really two already?”

John blinked and looked at his alarm clock across from her, “Uh, quarter till?”

“Shit,” The blond hissed, throwing herself from the bed to begin gathering and throwing on her discarded clothes. “I missed my first two classes!”

Huh, she was in school still... John briefly wondered what she was studying, what she wanted to do with her future? And then his mind turned to his nicotine craving and he remembered that he didn’t care... would she think he cared? Fuck, he hoped not. Emotional birds were a drag to deal with on top of a hangover.

He busied himself with sitting up and lighting a cigarette, trying to sift through his memories for the girl’s name and praying she wouldn’t try to talk to him too much. The only girl he didn’t really mind morning-after chats with was not the girl in front of him. His chest clenched a just a second in something similar to guilty before he blow if off with an exhale of smoke. That girl, the somewhat special one, couldn’t get hurt if she never found out.

Looking at this girl in the morning light, with her make up smudged, hair knotted in the back and a pinched face, John was not all that impressed with himself. He’d pulled much better. Hell, Cynthia was prettier than this bird and Cyn was about as plain as paper to him these days. John thought for a moment that he should have just gone ‘round her place last night. A good boyfriend would have. But he’s wasn’t good at really anything, ‘sept maybe guitar and Cynthia bloody well knew that, didn’t she?

The bird that was not Cynthia glanced up at him to give a coy smile, “So, you’ll call me, right?”

Fuck no, he thought but had the grace to not say aloud. Instead, John cleared his throat and shrugged, “Look, uh...”

“Holly,” The blond supplied, her smile dropping.

Unfazed, he continued, “Holly, me girlfriend might not like that, so probably not.”

Holly looked stricken, “You... you have a girlfriend?”

Before John could answer, there was another slam on his door.

“Bleedin’ hell, Lennon!”

“Oh, fuck off, Sutcliffe!” John yelled back before taking a drag from his cigarette. He turned back to Holly and just shrugged. Yeah, technically he had a girl already. One that was easier to put up with than most others and yet still never enough for John, hence all the other temporary ones.

Scoffing in disgust, Holly rolled her eyes and finished zipping up her dress, picking up her heels, “You’re a swine!”

John honestly couldn’t agree more.

He gave her an apologetic smile and another small shrug. Holly huffed and threw the door open, shoving past Stuart on the other side. The lad watched her go before spinning ‘round to look at his best mate while leaning on the doorframe.

“Fun night, then?”

“It was alright,” John chuckled, getting up and throwing on a t-shirt to pair with his boxers and socks. “Had better.”

“Speaking of fun nights, we still going out tonight?” Stuart asked. “Because I thought you worked?”

“And?” John laughed, stubbing out his cigarette. “Only get the free booze if I’m behind the bar, y’know?”

“I highly doubt that’s the pub’s policy, Johnny,” Stuart commented with a sigh, “Cynthia’s meeting us there, right?”

John nodded and flicked his hair out of his eyes, purposely playing ignorant to Stu’s pointed question as he moved past the other lad toward the kitchen for a drink of water. His mouth tasted like whiskey still and was drier than the Sahara, plus his head was pounding something fierce, “Said she was, least.”

Stuart grinned, “Ah, that’s great! Cyn’s alright!”

Cynthia was alright, John guessed. She was pretty with a smile that even managed to make his lips curl. Blond these days, too, John’s favorite and much more suiting than her once natural mousy brunette. Some of his mates thought she had horse teeth but John had never noticed. But above all, Cyn wasn’t a complete fucking idiot. She actually had a brain, talking to her never dug under John’s skin the way it did with any other birds. It was this unique quality that had made her the only steady relationship he’d ever even attempted.

Attempted being the key word there, seeing as he hadn’t managed yet to stop himself from continuously stepping out on her.

John simply shrugged, taking a drink of his water. He set the glass down and went about opening cabinets in search of something for his headache.

“Oh, piss off, Lennon,” Stuart laughed, “You don’t suffer fools. Wouldn’t still be shagging her if you didn’t like her.”

“Aw, Stu, I’m touched by you’re assurance in my character so as to not stoop as low as to—“

The other cut John off when a raised hand, “Oh, no, no, no, don’t get me wrong, Johnny. You’d definitely stoop that low— I mean you still do with other girls all the time, don’t you? You’re just smart enough to know Cyn’s a bird worth keeping ‘round.”

John examined his glass of water, having found the pain reliever now in his hand, “So, I’m an bastard... but I’m a cunning one?”

“John Lennon,” Stuart gestured the air like he was seeing some billboard before him on the kitchen cabinets, “Cunning bastard!” Dropping his arms, he flashed his best friend a grin, “Got a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?”

John laughed, gulping down the pills and downing the rest of his glass, “Piss off, Stu.” He flickered his eyes away, avoiding his friend’s gaze, “And just so ye know, I don’t like Cynthia. I love her.”

“Sure ye do, Johnny.” Stuart sighed, suddenly sobering. Neither of them spoke the rest of the sentence but they both knew...

Sure ye do, Johnny, just not enough to try and treat her right.

John sighed and began to bounce on his feet to rid himself of the uncomfortable energy rising up in his chest. “Got hours before we got to go anywhere, though, so I’ll be in me room if that’s already with you, mate?”

Stu rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever, Johnny.”

Once back in his bedroom, alone in his safe space, John sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He hated feeling... heavy— he refused to call it what it really was: guilt. And he always did when Cynthia was brought up.

He loved her... he did! He just got so fucking bored with her sometimes! He longed for excitement, for the thrill of the flirtation, the constant tug of war, the competition. Cynthia didn’t give him any of that anymore.

John could remember when she’d first caught his eye, over two years ago sitting up straight as a ruler in the row in front of him in one of his various art classes. He liked art but had majored in Political Science for Mimi; hadn’t stopped him from taking a few electives though. Cynthia had been a year ahead, older and wiser and completely uninterested in his immature games. Maybe that had been her appeal, her disinterest and indifference. She’d been work then, hard to get.

She was such a prude, too. That pretty little nose of her’s had always seemed to turn up at the mere sight of him and she’d just rolled her eyes at any of his advances. She’d been engaged to some bloke back in her hometown, some sophisticated git who was just perfect as could be apparently. She’d blatantly told him so when he’d tried asking her out, shutting him down without even a hint of remorse. His pride had been wounded at the time but his want to win her had only grown.

And John was good at the game he played, an expert at the chase, and he’d seen the lingering looks Cynthia still gave him, saw her flush bright red when he gave his attention to other girls and how her lips twitched when he sent a compliment her way. Not long after, word spread around the university that Cynthia Powell had broken off her engagement and was single as could be.

John made sure that wasn’t true for long.

She finally agreed to go out with him to the pub were he worked and the rest was history. Cynthia was the only girl John could stand on a regular basis, the only girl he called his girlfriend, the only girl he kept coming back to. He didn’t really know why, she was just Cyn and he actually wanted to have a claim on her. Being with her wasn’t quite as frustrating as being with others. She had enough of a brain and a bite to be at least a little stimulating.

Still, John knew what people said around them, what they whispered to Cynthia nearly everyday, what they thought.

He’s nothing but trouble.

You deserve better.

He’ll never really be faithful.

And history would prove all them right. He didn’t deserve Cynthia. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew that. He cheated on her, he snapped at her, he treated her like crap most days... but for some reason she stuck around. No one else, besides Mimi, Stu, and Pete, stuck around for John. Fuck, his own mother and father had had little to nothing to do with him since he was just 5— But Cynthia hadn’t left him yet. He was... grateful to her for that. So, John had decided he would keep her for as long as she’d stay; so far that was a bit over 2 years now.

Glancing at his dresser, his dark eyes were drawn to the framed photograph sitting atop it. Cynthia had given it to him on their last anniversary — he’d gotten her a box of condoms. It was a picture of them two of them, sitting side-by-side on the couch in his flat. He was reading, paying her no mind, and she was gazing at him with a small, adoring smile playing on her lips like he was something to be admired and awed by. She looked in love... he looked bored.

Again, he felt heavy and groaned in frustration and he reached out to set the frame face down. He didn’t feel like thinking too much anymore. He wanted to stop thinking.

John sighed and swallowed, going over to pick up his guitar and rid himself of that stupid fucking weight in his chest.

Music had always been John’s escape, even before he could make it. He’d spent hours listening to all the great classics back in his bedroom at Mimi’s growing up. The Isley Brothers, Arthur Alexander, and the greatest of all, Elvis Presley; they were practically gods to him as a boy. He’d practiced till his fingers bleed trying to learn their songs, eventually trying to write his own.

Tuning the guitar, John leaned back again his headboard and began to strum. Strum away all the buzzing, screaming thoughts in his head, calming him mind if only for just a single fucking second. He wished he could share this part of himself, his music, with someone. Wished he could make Cynthia or Stu or anyone, really, understand the way the music felt in his chest, in his blood and his bones.

But that was a connection he’d given up on making a long time ago.

Stu played bass, Pete was alright at percussion and drums, fuck, even Cynthia knew a bit of piano but none of them felt like he did. Music was a lifeline to John. He couldn’t be without it, none of them’d ever gotten that.

Hours later, the boys were dressed and ready to go. The other inhabitants of the flat, another long-time friend, Pete, and Stu’s bitch-of-a-girlfriend, Astrid, had thrown themselves together as well.

Pete had had to style his blond hair three times from John ruffling it each time he’d only just gotten it right and he was wearing a sports jacket, a flannel and jeans. Stuart had put on the clothes Astrid had laid out for him, a navy sweater and tight dark blue jeans. John had rolled his eyes upon seeing Astrid in a matching shade of sequined tank-top and shorts. They were fucking matching these days, God help him.

John himself had simply tossed on the first things he’d found in his dresser that smelled like laundry soap and not sweat. So, basically a plain black t-shirt with a white collar, ripped gray jeans, and his favorite leather jacket with his aviator sunglasses. In his pocket were his Buddy Holly inspired prescriptions for once he got to work.

Emerging from his room, he was assaulted by Pete snatching his shades from his face, “Sun’s down, ye look like an asshole.”

John smirked and plucked the shades back, sliding him back on to his face, “I am an asshole, Pete. Remember?”

The two young men made their way to the living room, purposely shoving and banging into each other just for a laugh. They found Astrid standing on her toes, straightening Stu’s sweater. Her eyes narrowed on John as he enter her field of vision.

“You look homeless,” She commented in her heavy German accent

“And you look easy,” John shot back back only to receive a look of warning from Stuart which he ignored. Stu was his best mate, sure, but he wouldn’t put up with the little blond terror’s bullshit for even him.

Astrid scoffed and upturned her pretty little button nose.

She was fit, sure, with her slender build curved in all the right places, soft features, and pixie cut hair. That part of Stu’s infatuation with her John could understand, but fuck, the personality and attitude on her was the ultimate turn off. Had she been John’s pull, he have kicked her to the curb the next morning, not begged her to come live with him and his mates as Stuart had done.

John supposed that was why Stu had Astrid, who he hardly sent a second a part from, and he had Cyn, who had her own life and priorities that kept her off John’s back. He didn’t see the appeal in all the bullshit people spouted about ‘sharing a life’. Independence got you fucked over a lot less.

“Alright, alright, you two,” Stuart broke in, running his hands down his girlfriend’s arms until he intertwined his fingers with hers. “That’s enough. Let’s just go, yeah?”

Astrid grinned, nodding and pecking his knuckles, John rolled his eyes, and Pete shrugged while rubbing the back of his neck.

Stuart took that as an affirmative.

The pub, called The Cavern, was only two blocks over from the flat. They regularly walked there, all too cheap to pay fare, even on the bus. Astrid got all whiny about the area and how it wasn’t safe for them but it wasn’t like she had much other choice, just as poor as the rest of them. Instead, she just clung to Stuart along the way like a bloody octopus. John and Pete walked ahead of the couple, playfully bantering with one another.

John had been forced to to take his sunglasses off upon stepping into the twilight of outside, being even less able to see than normal. He was feeling bitter as he slide on his prescription lenses, Pete chuckling beside him.

Reaching out, he roughly shoved his mate, “Sod off, Shotton, no one fucking asked you.”

Behind them, Stuart called, “Oi, Johnny, stop being so damn sensitive, would ye? Just glasses, mate!”

John shot him a glare before grabbing Pete’s arm to help him right himself, “Primadonna, you are, son. Toppling like that.”

“Arsehole, you are, John. Shoving people like that.” Pete shot back but there was a grin on his lips. John smirked and any tension instantly defused.

Between Stu and Pete, John could be kept mostly in line. They all knew how easily he could fly off the handle, even John himself knew, so they all worked to make sure the lad wasn’t poked at or prodded too much. John had already spent a few nights in jail for throwing fists around when another drunk at the pub said just the wrong thing and neither Pete nor Stu had the money for bail at the moment.

The only option was just to try and keep Johnny boy out of trouble.

[calpalirwin]

According to Plan

A/N: It’s the finale y’all!

And away, and away we go!

~~~

Chapter 15

Madison

~~~

It felt so good to have Ashton back. I think we were both a little taken aback by the ease we each felt- as if nothing had ever changed.

I watched from the porch as he chased Jude around the backyard, like he had never not done it.

“I hope you like mac and cheese and chicken tenders. I don’t get to make anything more sophisticated these days,” I told him later, after he agreed to stay for dinner.

He let out a small laugh. “It’s fine.”

I smiled. I loved being able to hear his voice and his laugh. Jude had his same laugh: a little high-pitched giggle. I loved that. My boys. 

Jude came running into the kitchen, cutting off anymore conversation.

The dinner conversation consisted of Jude rambling about his toddler adventures, with me stepping in to correct his wording (for all of our benefit) or provide more detail for Ashton. His told Ashton about how his favorite animal was a dinosaur, especially the raptor from that one movie (Jurassic World, I told Ashton) even if it was a little scary (Nightmares, I winced at the memories). And of course, they both talked about soccer.

After dinner, I sent Jude down the hall to pick the pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath. He ran off and came back with soccer pants and a dinosaur shirt. “That’s what you want to wear?” I asked, as Ashton and I tried not to laugh at the clearly clashing attire.

“Yep!” was the hearty reply.

I shrugged and went to get his bath ready. We sat in the hallway outside the bathroom as he splashed around in the water. “I’ve missed this,” I said, almost sadly after a quick peek on our son.

“Bath time?” Ashton asked, incredulously.

“No,” I shook my head. “This. You. Doing everyday things with you. I didn’t know how much I missed it until now.”

He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head. “I’ve missed it, too.”

“God, I love being able to hear you,” I said, leaning into him.

“Me too.”

After a few more splashes in the bathroom and stolen kisses in the hallway, I got Jude out of the tub and into bed. 

Ashton leaned in the doorway as I crawled into Jude’s bed with him, and grabbed a book. I read the book to Jude as his eyelids grew heavy with sleep, using a different voice for every character. When I finished, I closed the book, and looked at him, already asleep. “Night, Judder-bug. Momma loves you,” I whispered, kissing him and then carefully making my way out of the room. I flicked on a nightlight and turned off his lamp before gently closing the door behind her.

“You’re an amazing mom,” Ashton told me, kissing me softly.

“You caught us on a good day,” I whispered, kissing him back.

We made our way to the living room. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked. “I think Mike has a case of beer. Or do you still not drink?”

He laughed, “Beer’s fine.”

I disappeared for a minute and came back with two bottles. I handed one to him and took a sip of mine. “There used to be a time when you didn’t like to drink,” I remembered.

He shrugged and took a swig, wincing. “Still not my favorite, but I’ll have a beer every now and then. What about you? I didn’t take you for a drinker.”

“I’m not,” I said, taking another drink. “It’s root beer,” I laughed at my joke. He looked at his label as I continued to laugh. “Yours is real,” I told him, “don’t worry.”

He laughed with me, there in the dark, as we each drank our drinks. “So, I’ve been thinking,” he said, as he finished up his beer, spinning the bottle in his palm. “I want a relationship. With Jude obviously, but you as well. We didn’t end on a bad note, hell we barely ended at all. So, if you’re willing, I want to at least try to be a family.”

“I’ve waited a long time for you to say those words, and to actually hear them.” I told him, putting my bottle down.

“I told you I’d always love you,” he shrugged.

“You also promised you’d find someone who made you happy.”

“I did. I found two people who make me happy, actually.”

“Okay,” I smiled at him. “If that’s what you want, sure.”

“It’s not a matter of what I want. It’s a matter of what I need.” He pulled me into his lap and was about to kiss me, when Jude came into the room, tears in his eyes

“Judder-bug,” I said, getting out of Ashton’s lap and going to him. “What’s wrong?”

He pushed me away and crawled into Ashton’s lap. Without a second thought, Ashton wrapped Jude in his arms and started rubbing his back. “Shh,” I heard him soothe, “it’s okay, bud, I’m here. You’re safe, I got you.” Ashton continued to rub Jude’s back and soothe him as Jude’s cries subsided and he fell back asleep.

“Does that happen a lot?” he asked me after he had carried Jude back to bed and kissed him goodnight and he curled up next to me on the couch. 

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “More so now since we moved. He’s still getting used to having his own room. That was the quickest I’ve seen him calm down.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded against me. “I thought because he was still young, that not having you around wouldn’t make much of a difference. But, I guess sometimes you just need your dad. I’m really sorry I kept you in the dark.”

“It’s okay,” he said, kissing me. “We’re together now, that’s all that matters.”

We talked well into the night. I told him how I had found steady work at a local photo studio, so I was staying put. He told me he had steady work at the shop with his dad. We debated about whether it made more sense for us to find our own place or if he should just move in with me. We ultimately decided that he would move in, because Mike was still planning on moving out. “I know it’s not the apartment at Duke we always talked about,” I said.

“No, it isn’t,” he admitted, laughing. “It’s way better.”

When we finally made it to my room, we still didn’t sleep, both of us too busy making up for lost time.

Ashton slowly moved in over the course of the week, while Mike slowly moved out. Throughout the week, while Ashton formed a bond with Jude, Ashton and I reformed ours. Both of us were glad to see that the love was still there. Friday night, it was just the three of us, our small little family. We laughed as we went to bed that night, still in a daze at how fast our lives had changed.

~~~

Chapter 16

Ashton

~~~

A week after Madison and I found each other in that diner, I decided it was time to take her and Jude to my parents’ house. My family knew that we were back together and I had given up my apartment to move in with her, but I still hadn’t told them about Jude. I didn’t want them to react badly, so I was nervous as we drove over there for lunch.

“Not Nana and Papa’s,” Jude said as we pulled into the driveway.

“No, it’s not,” Madison agreed. “It’s Daddy’s parents’ house.”

Jude frowned. His face said everything I was feeling- that this could all go horribly wrong.

I knocked on the front door before letting myself in, closing the door behind Jude and Madison. “Hey, I’m here!” I announced as we made our way to the kitchen where my mom and sister were.

“Ash!” my mom exclaimed coming to hug me, like she didn’t see me practically every day.

“Hey, Mom. You remember Madison,” I said.

“Of course. Madison, it’s so good to see you,” she smiled.

Madison nodded politely.

“Madison, you remember my sister, Lauren,” I introduced.

“You’re so much older now!” Madison marveled. It was true, Lauren was only 10 when Madison first met her. Now Lauren was going to be a sophomore in high school.

Mom and Lauren looked at me questioningly. Madison noticed and explained. “I got the Cochlear implant a few years ago. It’s working very well.”

Mom and Lauren smiled, happy for her. “And who’s this?” my mom asked, crouching down next to Jude.

“This is Jude,” I explained, “our son.”

In complete southern charm, my mother’s eyes went wide and she chose her words carefully, to hide her surprise and probable anger. ”Lauren, why don’t you take Madison and Jude outside so Jude can play,” my mom smiled, as my sister eagerly took Jude’s hand and went outside, Madison following after them.

“A son, Ash?” my mother whispered furiously as she walked out of the kitchen and towards my dad’s office. “That boy… you saw fit not to tell us?”

“It’s a complicated story, Mom,” I said, following her.

“You best get to explaining yourself,” she said, rapping on the door and walking into the office.

“Oh, Ash! Good, you’re he- wait, what’s going on?” my dad asked, once he took a good look at my mom’s face.

“Oh, wait’ll you hear this,” my mom tsked.

I rolled my eyes. “Remember how I said I got 2 messages from Madison right after I left for Duke? Turns out she was pregnant.”

“Pregnant? And she…?”

“Yeah. I have a son, Dad.”

“How long have you known?” came the obvious, but incredibly stupid question.

“Not that long, obviously. I never messaged her back. I found out last week when I found her at the diner.”

“So, she didn’t see fit to tell you for four years?”

“She knew I wouldn’t have stayed at Duke if I’d known. She didn’t want me to give up Duke for her. Especially since I kinda dumped her for it, y’know.”

“And you’re sure he’s yours?”

I clenched my hands into fists and screwed my eyes shut, trying to control my anger. Of all people, my dad should understand what I was going through. And he had the audacity to ask if Jude was mine? Of course he was mine. 1.) Madison would never do something like and 2.) Jude looked just like I did at that age. I unclenched my fists and opened my eyes again as I started talking. “Did it ever matter that I’m not biologically yours? No. You raised me like your own. I’m doing the same thing. Look, I’m not asking for your support or permission. She’s the only girl I ever loved, and he’s my son- biologically and otherwise, trust me- There’s no option where I’m not with them anymore; there’s no option where I don’t love them with all I have. You taught me that.”

My mom and dad smiled at me, my dad not-so-stealthily wiping at his eyes. “Alright,” he choked out. “Let’s go meet…”

“Jude,” my mom told him. “Our grandson’s name is Jude.”

~~~

Epilogue

Madison

May 2025

~~~

“Get the bubbles, look!” I heard Ashton say from the back porch as he blew more bubbles. It still took my breath away every time I heard his voice. It was just as I had always pictured- just as good as he looked.

“Bubbles!” our daughter cheered as she tried to catch them in her little hands.

“Look, Savannah,” Jude told her, blowing a big bubble for his little sister.

Her green eyes danced and her brown curls bounced as she twirled around in childlike wonder. “Momma, look!” she told me, spotting me in the doorway.

“I see,” I answered, sitting down with them.

“Hey,” Ashton smiled, wrapping his arm around me.

“Hey,” I smiled back, leaning into him and breathing him in. A marriage and a second child later, and I still couldn’t get over the amazement. After all these years, I still felt as safe in his arms as I did for the first time at seventeen.

We sat there on the porch, watching our kids play with reckless abandon. “Did you ever think we’d make it this far?” he whispered.

“You and our family are the best things I never planned for.”

[vinylgomez]

the way i wear my noose like a necklace

WARNINGS: death, ptsd, heartbreak, insecurity, loneliness, domestic abuse (verbally/emotionally & physically), car accident, self harm, mentions of suicide, intrusive thoughts, depression, anxiety, trust issues, guns (kinda), implied dissociation, sad ending, also she forgets to feed the dog

seriously, do NOT ignore the warnings if you are easily triggered

Pairings: Fuuka Yamagishi x Minato Arisato/Makoto Yuki

Summary: 10 years after the events of Persona 3, Fuuka is still having trouble dealing with her trauma. She blames herself for her boyfriend Minato’s death and is still processing everything that happened with S.E.E.S but also in her home. Meanwhile everyone else, even Junpei, seem to be okay, Fuuka is on the path of self-destruction. [AU]

Word Count: 1,509

A/N: before you read, please note that this is in no way belittling abuse survivors, the only reason it might seem like that at some parts is because it’s from fuuka’s point of view and she doesn’t believe that she deserves better. this is not meant to make it seem like minato cured her either, so i’m sorry if it comes off that way!! also the writing is amateur but i’m just here to vent.

this is an alternate universe of the game persona 3 from 2006 developed and released by atlus (massive spoilers so don’t read unless you’ve finished the game!!), none of the characters are mine.

it’s been 10 years since her hero had sacrificed himself to save the world, and she was forever grateful

and fuuka actually thought she was getting better for a while

but most nights ends with her curling up in a ball sobbing silently to herself in her bed

recalling the way she was the reason for his first smile in months

and the way he used to look at her like she’s the reason the world keeps spinning

she thinks about the way she had always been insecure about their relationship

because really, who in their right mind would choose her over someone like mitsuru kirijo or yukari takeba?

but he was so patient, understanding and sweet. every time she voiced her concerns he just smiled faintly

“i will always choose you” he had whispered, resting his palm on her cheek

he was the quiet type, but whenever he did speak, it was always something important

it always made her feel better

but then he had died in another girl’s arms

and it just so happened to be the girl who always had a close connection to him

and everyone knew about it

i'm not the right match for him, i never was

doesn’t trauma cause you to lose your memory?

then why did she remember those moments so clearly?

almost as if it was the present

like when they all ran up the stairs leading to the rooftop

and the way he looked so peaceful

almost as if he was only sleeping

she remembered the sinking feeling in her stomach when she realized what was happening, her throat tightening, and the way it felt like time slowed down as she fell to the ground, wailing. this can’t be happening

at this point, she had lost count of the amount of times she had wished her evoker could be used as a real gun, just so she could put herself out of her misery.

over the years, she had slowly lost contact with her former teammates, because she kept herself isolated in her stupid room in her stupid apartment, afraid somebody would notice the scars on her wrists or the way her whole body flinched at the faintest sounds.

koromaru had stayed at her place for a while

but then yukari had visited

they were only supposed to have a cup of coffee

but really the girl came to check up on her friend

and she had noticed how thin the dog was getting, and how pale fuuka was

“fuuka-chan, are you sure you’re okay?”, her voice cracking

fuuka had tried to reassure her worried friend that she was just fine

but of course, yukari wasn’t stupid, and had seen right through her lie

weeks later, koro no longer lived with her, now he was with akihiko.

because fuuka had apparently forgotten to feed him.

but she didn’t understand it, she was sure she had filled his bowl everyday

was her mind playing tricks on her?

and to make matters more complicated, yukari kept recommending therapists

she knew she needed to talk to professionals, and she had tried. but really, how can they help? they can’t time travel, and the anti-depressants had never seemed to help her feel any better. she was a lost cause, too far gone.

yukari was the s.e.e.s member who had tried the hardest to help, but eventually she had given up as well. fuuka couldn’t say she was surprised, it’s not like she was ever going to escape the destructive lifestyle she was trapped in. she was grateful for her friends, but she stopped feeling understood a long time ago.

sometimes she felt like she was losing her mind completely. the trauma of everything that had happened when she was only 16 haunted her everyday.

why can’t I just be like the others? at least they’re functioning like normal human beings.

but minato had been the best thing that ever happened to her

and some nights, she can’t escape the guilt. the guilt of so selfishly wishing it had happened to somebody else. does that make her a terrible person? no, she tells herself. but her mind tells her otherwise. her disordered mind always makes matters worse for her.

“it’s your fault. it’ll always be your fault, you could’ve stopped him. and look at you now, it’s been a decade and you’re still crying. how pathetic. you’re a failure, fuuka.”

every time she thought of that horrible day, her head would repeat those words over and over again. isn’t grief supposed to have five stages? she knew that much, but for some reason, she seemed to be stuck in the worst one. she screams into her pillow, hoping something would make all the pain go away. but who was she kidding, this was a routine.

or a cycle, a never-ending cycle of pain that was far worse than anything she could’ve ever imagined before it had happened.

it was worse than being lost in tartarus surrounded by dangerous shadows.

it was worse than how her father would hit her and call her a disappointment when she refused to become a doctor.

and it was certainly worse than having to accept the fact that her parents didn’t look for her when she went missing for 10 days.

“why can’t you just be like other girls, fuuka? why do you have to be so special? what’s so interesting about that damn computer? you think hacking will get you anywhere in life? grow the hell up and get a proper job! think about your mother and i, and how humiliating it is for us to have a daughter like you.” her father would shout, while her mother sighed and looked the other way as he threatened their daughter, saying that he would disown her if she “didn’t get her shit together”.

those days always ended with her upper arm covered in bruises, tears streaming down her red cheeks as she fell asleep wishing she was somebody else.

she knew it was sad, tragic actually, that she would go right back into her abusive household in a heartbeat if it meant that he would come back to life.

but the thing is that at least she had a safe place back then. it was him, no, it’s not like in those cliché love stories where the boy saves the princess from all of her problems. it wasn’t like that at all, but she had him to talk to about anything, he always listened so well.

and whenever she was around him it felt like nothing was wrong with the world.

like when he first kissed her, she had never felt so safe.

pressing a shaking finger to her lips, she smiled faintly at the memory.

but it only lasted for a moment.

“he’s gone and he’s never going to come back. you’ll be alone forever, fuuka.”

now she had nowhere to go, no one would truly understand her

she had once thought that maybe junpei would understand, he had lost chidori in a similar way

and he had lost his best friend, too

but then she realized she didn’t know how to talk to him anymore

and there was no way she could tell him everything

not to mention, she wouldn’t want to upset him. he deserved better than having to deal with her shit too

all the bad memories replayed in her head. like a nightmare.

or a horror movie that constantly rewinds and plays the scariest parts over and over again

she thought about her fathers words, and she knew he was right.

but he had died in a car crash a few years back, and she no longer had contact with the woman who used to be her mother.

so she couldn’t tell them that they were right about her all along.

not that she would’ve given them the satisfaction, anyway.

maybe if he had just killed me when he wanted to, they could’ve had another daughter, or a son, who would’ve been picture perfect. and they would’ve been happy.

once she gets up and slumps towards the bathroom, she knows it’s just another messy night that proves how weak she is.

fumbling through the cabinets, she retrieves what she was looking for.

she's not crying anymore, everything feels slow and distorted, as if time had stopped passing and nothing was real.

dragging the razor blade across her skin, tears start to flow again. watching the blood drip to the floor, she can’t stop telling herself that she deserves everything bad that has ever happened to her.

she smiles.

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

Without Your Approval_Part 1

We are getting extra Wakandan stories today. (You’re welcome). I had not planned on doing any Valentine Day themed fics as A. I didn’t know if I’d have any ideas and more importantly B. If I felt like writing them but apparently it worked itself out.

This is the first one is an M’Baku themed Valentine which is a two parter followed by an T’Challa Valentine’s themed oneshot. No, I don’t have any Erik themed Valentines because honestly, everyday is Valentine’s around here for him. Lol

I actually started this story late last week and I didn’t even plan to finish it as I had no idea where this came from as it started with looking at something I saw on Tumblr. 

At first I didn’t know if I particularly like this story until I kept going. Plus, it’s M’baku, we know we need more M’Baku and T’Challa fanfics. So now I rather like this two-parter….especially the 2nd part….

So without further ado….

Tags: @chaneajoyyy @great-neckpectations @muse-of-mbaku

Part 1

Valentine's Day was not celebrated in Jabari culture.

Why would it when a couple could decide when, where and how they wanted to celebrated their love? What need was there to make a day for it?

However what Valentine was or wasn't, wasn't the issue M'Baku was having while he marched down the corridor's of JabariLand with purpose to find you.  

No, he was a little miffed that in all this time that he had known you, he had just discovered this holiday a scant two hours ago. It was your first year of marriage and you two had been dating for a year and a half for crying out loud!! He did the calculations. He was with you last Valentines, yet you had never mentioned it. The holiday was in two days and you still hadn't mentioned it.

In fact he had to hear about it from T'Challa!

He had come to respect the man but he felt like a grade-A fool that his girlfriend turned wife who was from America never mentioned the holiday while T'Challa's fiancé Nakia who was Wakandan even knew about it. 

Why that’s how the conversation started in the first place! 

T'Challa had asked what M'Baku had planned for Valentine's Day as he was celebrating it with Nakia. An innocent question led T'Challa to realize he might have accidentally created a bit of a mess without meaning too.

All this might have explained why M'Baku's nose was wide and everyone and their mama was moving out the way as he came storming down the hall, his pacing quickening once he was in the private wing and the door to the bedroom was in sight.

You jumped when the door to the bedroom slammed open almost rattling its way off the hinges. You relaxed when you realize it was your husband.  

However, when he all but slammed the door behind him, you jumped again. Then you waited for him to speak. 

And waited. 

When M'Baku only stared at you without saying anything so your finally asked with a small smirk, "What did the poor door do to you?"

M'Baku bared his teeth in a semblance of a grin and you stared at him slowly becoming confused. Clearly someone made him angry. You could see his taunt muscles as his hands gripped his staff.

You stood from your vanity, turned and took a step towards him as you asked, "Are you alright?"

It took a moment for you to get a response, "That depends. What is it..... two days from now?"

You blinked as you straightened, "Uh, Thursday?"

M'Baku twitched and breathed, "The date? What's the date?"

You smiled at him, "Oh, I think it's February 14th, if I'm not mistaken."

M'Baku stared at you and you stared at him. He shifted on his feet, his coal eyes locking onto yours, "Yes, February 14th." He drawled, "Doesn't that mean something to you, ife mi (my love)?"

You were beginning get worried. You could hear the sugary sweet in his tone that belied his anger. However you weren't exactly sure why he was angry.

"M'Baku, what' wrong? Really?" you asked gently.  

"Y/N.....T'Challa told me that it's a holiday....."

M'Baku trailed off  and watched as the light bulb went off in your eyes, "Oh!! Valentine's Day!!" You clapped your hands together before looking at him, "What's your point?"

M'Baku grip on his staff slacked as he couldn't figure out if your flippancy was an act or what. He breathed, "From my understanding, that T'Challa had to tell me about, by the way, is that Valentine's Day is an important western holiday. You are from America, I'm sure you know about this more than me but what is really bothering me is why is it that I am just now learning about this holiday."

You sniffed and relaxed, "Oh." a beat, "M'Baku....please don't tell me you are angry over Valentine's Day?"

M'Baku's right eye twitched, "Fine, I won't tell you then."

You gaped at him. Was he serious?, "It's just a holiday....." 

"Y/N, T'Challa said it's a couple's holiday. Even T'Challa and Nakia have celebrated it. They will celebrate it this year as well. We have been together for a year before we were married. Why did you not tell me about this last year?"

You were slowly starting to catch on, "Wait, are you seriously angry because we didn't celebrate it?"

M'Baku was beginning to lose his patience, "I'm angry as to why you didn't tell me that it existed!! I would have celebrated it if it meant something for you."

You shrugged, "That's because it doesn't really." 

The anger seeped out of M'Baku as the grip on his staff further loosened as he stared at you dumbfounded, "It doesn't?"

You laughed once, "I've never known men to get upset over Valentine's.  It's usually the women that get upset."

You turned back around to your vanity. Before you could sit down, you felt thick arms encircle your shoulders. You felt warmth at your back as you heard your husband's husky voice in your ear, "And why is this? Doesn't this matter to you? I am confused, ife mi."

You relaxed into him embrace as you reached up to grip his forearm. You were momentarily distracted that your hand, as big as it was, couldn't encircle is forearm completely.

After a moment you lifted your gaze and locked with his in the mirror, "Don't be. It doesn't require your brainpower. I don't celebrate Valentine's. I find it all a joke, really."

"A joke-o?"

"Yea, the one day of the year that men straighten up: flowers, roses, candies, the whole shebang, all the while rolling their eyes and internally gagging. They don't even want to celebrate the holiday to begin with but once that clock hits 12am the next day, it's back to the usual mess."

M'Baku tightened his grip slightly as his voice was rough, "Who hurt you like this?" he asked. 

"Hurt me?" you said, your eyebrows shooting up to your hairline, "No one did. I just saw it around me. Women get boyfriends that they needed to kick to the curb the moment they got them, but come Valentines they'd get all the drama and get starry-eyed blinded to the reality. But the next day it's back to the fights and misunderstandings. I just figured, when I get a boyfriend I wouldn't put the pressure on him. He'd probably thank me, besides there is no point in getting dramatic one day of the year. It's just better to have a solid relationship and not worry about that. I think that everyday should be like Valentine's really.... "

M'Baku's eyes took on a soft look as his forearms slacked, "Y/N....that so......so...."

You nodded until his harden voice snapped and boomed, ".....stupid!!!"

M'Baku released you making you spin around in shocked. He folded his arms and glared at you as you tried to collect yourself. 

"S-s-stupid?!”,  you finally sputtered, “How so?"

M'Baku reached one hand up to rub his temples, "What I'm hearing sounds like an excuse!! I agree, every day should be Valentine's Day and a couple shouldn't only put effort into the relationship one day a year. On this I can agree. What I don't agree with is this stupid logic you have, more the point, why you felt that you couldn't even tell me."

You huffed, "I can't understand why you are making a big deal out of this! Most men are happy not to celebrate this day! They find it work!"

M'Baku glared down at you with hooded eyes, "So you thought to make that decision for me, eh, little one?

You gaped at him, "That wasn't my intent!"

M'Baku drawled, "But it's sure what it ended up to be-o!"

You gaped at him as his words filtered through your brain.  You honestly had never really thought about it. You had assumed when you got a boyfriend that he would thank you not to have to put much effort into a day like Valentine's Day. You had even overheard your former male co-workers complaining that their girlfriends had all dropped hints for Valentine's Day. They couldn't even wait for the day to be over even as it began.

Sure it wasn't like you didn't know or hear of guys that genuinely didn't seem to mind celebrating it. But it seems that it was more an excuse to be commercial that anything. Just an excuse to spend excessive money on things for that they would forget about the next day.

You dropped your gaze to the ground as you thought about this, "I'm...I'm sorry....I didn't mean...."

M'Baku voice was soft, "Did you not think I would want to celebrate it with you?"

"I just didn't want you to feel obligated...." you murmured.

Now it was M'Baku's turn for his eyebrows to shoot up to his hairline, "Obligated? Why would I feel that-o?"

You shrugged.

"Y/N, do Americans think that it's not worth it to celebrate a love you have?"

Your head snapped up and you looked at him with glassy eyes, "Honestly, I think a lot us only have a mirage of love. Why else would those feeling fade after one day?"

M'Baku reached out and pulled to you him with a grunt, "You American's complicated everything."

You gave a watery smile as you wrapped your arm around his waist, "Probably. I'm sorry, M'Baku. I didn't think. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you."

"As I love you, obim(my heart)", he murmured.

"So are we okay?" you asked looking up at him.

M'Baku gave a nod and kissed your forehead, "Yes we are, but we are celebrating Valentine's Day! I will hear no complaints-o!"  

You giggled.

You found you had none to give anyway.

[loki-hargreeves]

Lucifer Morningstar Imagine - Reunion

requested by: midnightrellik 

Your P.O.V.

My club was doing splendid, as customers packed up the luxurious place and had fun, spending their money on drinks as they danced the night away. I had just recently arrived to Los Angeles, a plan glued onto my mind as I had come. By pulling a few strings here and there, I got an amazing nightclub nearby another nightclub, the Lux. I even had a penthouse for myself so I could say life was shining.

But I knew it wasn’t just good luck I managed to build my way to the top so quickly. Of course, it was all thanks to my powers. I was a celestial being, kicked out of heaven, or whatever you’d like to call the place above humanity. Since I had no other place to go, I came to Los Angeles, knowing very well that my old friend Lucifer Morningstar was playing a good cop here. Now I was stealing his customers as I waited for him to find me.

I looked at myself in the mirror behind the bar, adjusting my H/C a little bit before I ordered a drink for myself. Tonight was spectacular! I had arranged a concert here so the club was full before I could count to ten. Now the band was playing some loud music and I sat on a barstool, looking at the small stage that was surrounded by people. My hand was resting on my thigh and I played with the material of my little black dress. 

Suddenly people moved a bit and someone was coming inside quickly. Immediately, I sensed that this wasn’t just anyone. My eyes widened and I held my breath as the man stepped out of the crowd, looking around through dark eyelashes, deep brown eyes darting around the club as he was searching for someone. As I examined the short, black hair that was put nicely up with gel and the very luxurious red suit, I knew my senses were right.

It was Lucifer!

My heart began to beat harder inside my chest and I grew nervous. It had been such a long time since I last saw him, thousands of years to be correct. Now he was there, only a few feet away as he searched for the person who owned this place, or anyone who could tell him. Quickly, I hit the bar so order another drink as well. Time felt painfully slow as I waited but finally, I had two drinks in my hands and I took a deep breath, making my way to an old friend, or even lover dare I say.

Lucifer noticed that I approached him but he didn’t seem to recognize me at first. I couldn’t blame the man, since I was very different nowadays. ‘’ Well if it isn’t Lucifer Morningstar ‘’ I spoke loudly to top the music. I noticed how he crunched his eyebrows in confusion yet he gladly took the drink I offered him. ‘’And who are you? Might you know who the sneezy skank is who steals my customers?’’ He asked me playfully and kept looking around. His comment made me chuckle and I looked down, covering my smile with my hand.

‘‘What? Was it so funny?’‘ He questioned me and took another look at me. I could tell he was trying to think straight. ‘‘ Don’t you remember me?’‘ I asked the man with a mischievous smirk, pushing some hair behind my ear so I could reveal my entire face to him. In the blink of an eye, his confused look turned to surprise. He stepped back and looked at me from head to toe, raising his arms up before he faced me with a smile.

‘‘Y/N!?’‘ He yelled out my name, clearly baffled by my existence. I nodded and then found myself in a hug, which caught me off guard. Lucifer wasn’t much of a hugger but perhaps he had missed me. So I hugged him back in a friendly manner, patting his strong back a couple times before we parted. His warm hand never left my shoulder as he held his drink with the other hand. ‘‘ What are you- why are..bloody hell I can’t even speak ‘‘ He laughed out as he struggled to form a sentence.

‘‘Don’t worry, Luci. Let’s go up and chat. I’ve been waiting for you’‘ I let him know happily, already leading him to the elevator. The devil didn’t hesitate as he followed me away from the mass of people. We got in the elevator and the world around us silenced. My body was full of adrenaline from the rush I got as I saw him so I found it hard to just stand. 

A little later, we were finally up in my penthouse. The elevator doors opened and revealed my living room which was quite dim at the moment. From the large windows, you could see Lux. We were that close. I led the way to my red couches and then I cleared my throat. ‘’Please, have a seat’’ I told Lucifer as I sat down, crossing my legs as I sat. Lucifer was smiling as he made his way next to me, his dangerously captivating eyes locked with mine. Now that we were here, I remembered how much I had missed him and it made me a bit emotional.

‘‘ What in dad’s name are you doing here in L.A.?’‘ He wanted to know, still stunned by this. I was just as stunned as he, finding it hard to speak. Man, I couldn’t even take my eyes off of him. We used to be inseparable. 

His question made me laugh and I quickly took a sip of my strong drink. Trust me, that was needed if I would explain everything to him. ‘’Well it is your dad’s doing’’ I began and took a deep breath, holding the glass with both my fingers, nervously playing with them. ‘’ Why am I not surprised?’’ Luci breathed out, big smile slowly fading. Memories probably flooded to his mind now, refreshing him from all our shared days.

‘‘ I think it’s obvious he doesn’t like rebellion. Things have been..how can I say this, dramatic in the Silver City lately. Dare I say all hell broke loose once your mother escaped hell. God was furious! ’‘ I let him know, surprised I didn’t stumble on my words already. Lucifer narrowed his eyes, nodding as I spoke and it was obvious he tried not to say something to interrupt me. 

‘’ I have followed your situation from up there everyday. You can’t even believe the gossip! It began to annoy me and I defended you. I tried to prove a point but some idiot so called angels were too stubborn to listen to me. I..I kind of confronted your dad and I might’ve accidentally used my powers to contact humans’‘ I admitted what I had done a bit unclearly, leaving out major details.

‘‘Well well, Y/N has become a bad girl’‘ He laughed and put the glass to his lips. I shrugged and then put my own drink away. ‘‘He didn’t approve of my words. I kind of…oh, you know, brought up old things. It angered him and boom, I was here. Since walking straight up to you would be plain boring, I opened up my nightclub. I knew you’d come here but don’t worry, your customers are only away because of the concert tonight’‘ I reassured Lucifer, then looking away from him. 

My head was spinning with memories and thoughts. I didn’t expect myself to react like this as I’d see him again. No matter how celestial or powerful a creature was, no one could fight their emotions. My smile turned into a frown and I had tears in the corners of my eyes. Lucifer noticed that quickly and he abandoned his drink.

‘‘Hey, hey..hey, what’s the matter?’‘ He asked me, smoothly getting closer to me. I shook my head, attempting to say it was nothing but I failed. Suddenly, I chuckled and faced the ceiling, wishing I could blink away my tears. ‘‘ It’s just so… weird. We haven’t seen each other for so long’‘ I admitted quietly, finally facing him again. Yes, Earth had changed Lucifer. He didn’t react like a lost puppy to tears anymore. Instead, he cupped my face and wiped them away with his warm thumbs, caressing my skin very softly. 

‘‘ You missed me, huh’‘ He murmured softly, almost surprised. ‘‘Damn right I did! I still hate myself for not doing more the day you got banned..I just..’‘ I tried to explain myself but the devil shushed me. I shut up and let him speak, hoping my guilt wouldn’t eat me alive before that. ‘‘You and me both know God wouldn’t have listened to you. Not even mum stood up for me although she could have’‘ Lucifer explained slowly, putting a strand of my hair away from my face before he put his hands away from my face. 

‘‘ You tried, that’s what matters’‘ He let me know with a genuine smile. Hearing such words leave my rebel friend’s mouth was strange but it surprised me in a good way. Him with his charming good looks and his power with desire merged perfectly with my ability to lure people, controlling truth and lies made us a powerful duo. I was a warrior angel, trained to defend Heaven. After practise, I always taught Lucifer some new tricks I had learnt. We had the greatest time in heaven and it left me confused whether we were friends of more than just that.

There were a few occasions where we had done things friends didn’t do. But we had never said the magic words or made anything official. So we had a complicated yet amazing relationship. Not seeing each other for so long had been horrible and this moment here felt unbelievable. 

‘‘ I hope you know people who wants to buy this place, I didn’t actually want a nightclub’‘ I tried to lighten up the mood, causing him to chuckle. Lucifer ran his hand through his hair before he shook his head in disbelief. ‘‘Oh Y/N, you go great lengths for small things. That’s what I like about you’‘ He declared gladly. It was true, I got a nightclub just to make our reunion better.

‘‘It’s not a small thing but I do get your point ‘‘ I giggled back at him, covering my smile again. Lucifer grabbed my wrist gently and pulled my hand away from my face. ‘‘You’ve got a gorgeous smile, I never understood why you wanted to hide it’‘ He told me words that caused my cheeks to heat up a little bit. He was telling me the truth as well.

We found ourselves looking into each other’s eyes like we were hypnotized. Old feelings were crawling through the shadows they had been left to, stepping into daylight. We were so close and we were horrible emotional at the moment. It was overwhelming yet something seemed to push each other closer and it made goosebumps rise on my skin. His big hand grabbed my waist and he pulled me towards him and I allowed him to do that.

The tips of our noses brushed against each other and my entire body tensed up. Just as I thought we’d kiss, Luci looked deep into my eyes. ‘’Tell me, Y/N, what is it that you truly desire?’’ He asked me with a raspy voice, making me smile at his question. I was completely open with him so I didn’t even try to look away from his thrilling eyes.

‘‘This’‘ I whispered, finally closing the gap between us. I shut my eyes and held onto Lucifer, wrapping my bare arms around his neck as I tangled my hands in his hair. He pulled me on his lap and devoured my lips like they were candy. My head was up in the clouds by now. A dangerous rush shook up my body and I went wild. Our lips molded perfectly and it felt magical.It’s like we made it up for thousands of missed kisses. Oh and it was what I truly had desired for so long. Lucifer’s stubble tingled my skin a little bit but I didn’t mind at all.

Out of breath, we parted from our kiss, looking at each other for a while, all kinds of emotions in the air. ‘’ Y/N ‘’ He breathed out my name. I didn’t even notice that I bit my lip as I waited for him to speak. ‘’ Feel free to use your living lie detector thing on me but..wow… I have waited for that moment so long’’ He admitted gladly, speaking to me genuinely. ‘’ So have I ‘’ I answered with the biggest smile. Only a few seconds later, he had pulled me back to a kiss, warmly melting our lips together. I felt a shiver going down my spine as I kissed the man back, afraid this moment could just be a dream and I’d wake up, disappointed. 

Author’s Note: Well they met. I’ll stop before it gets out of hand. Thoughts? :)

[thetaekooklibrary]

hello! I'm the same anonymous that asked you about new compelted fics XD I'm sorry if that was to broad, I'm more into long fics above 30k or so so if you have any new favs ( if it was happy ending it will be much better I don't wanna be bowling my eyes out later) pretty please ^_^

I haven’t read most of these but I’m pretty sure most have happy endings^^ also not all are very new but I’m adding them if we haven’t rec’ced them because they wouldn’t have been in our word count tag before this. I’m also gonna add some that have been added to our tags in the last few months tho, just because I’m not sure what you have and haven’t read

tenacious d in the dick of destiny by jhopeg - In the midst of struggling with debts and empty plastic packets of instant ramyeon, Taehyung and Jeongguk joined forces to put the phrase “sex sells” to good use.

Invisible People by mindheist - The most important things are the hardest of all to see.

(I know this isn’t quite 30k but it’s 22k and reading mindheist is a must)

i’ll return to you (a promised handful of orange blossoms) by meanho - “Do you think he’s cosplaying an anime, or manhwa?” Jimin asked, voice in a trance. Taehyung understood his confusion because it wasn’t every day you see a person dressed as fine as the king of Joseon himself stumbling through a crowd and knocking over some Sailor Mercury’s wand. “Hmm, maybe he’s going for someone from Yona of The Dawn?” Jimin scoffed, “Yeah right, more like my 9th grade text book.”(or, the taekook Rooftop Prince AU!!) (Sequel)

of smokey bars and burning hearts by madeliefie - The boy -man- is beautiful. The way the light shines on his face tugs at Jeongguk’s heartstrings and for the first time in his life, he’s caught off guard. Jeongguk knows he isn’t going to heaven and he figures that this boy is the closest thing to an angel he’ll get. Taehyung wants the world to know who he is and Jeongguk is dangerous enough to make that happen.

Reborn in Water by TrappingLightningBugs - Freshly graduated from high school, Jungkook loses his class ring in the nearby lake, and despite the fact that his parents would be super pissed, it’s not that big of a deal. That is, until a stranger decides to appear in his bath one night, wearing his ring.

GAME OVER: Side Quest by mintsoda - “Taehyung’s eyes grow bigger than two moons, his mind goes blank, and he feels like he’s still falling from the impact of the other man throwing him down to the ground when he looks into the other’s eyes, when he takes in the scowl on his lips, the cute nose and the jet-black hair that falls into his face airily, covering his furrowed, strong eyebrows.All the sounds around him are muffled as he continues to just stare, and even when Jimin appears next to them and clutches at the stranger’s arm Taehyung cannot seem to rip his eyes away from him. And that’s when he knows that he is completely and utterly done for.”

Overtones by coley_merrin - As a vampire, Taehyung’s life is full of walls and restrictions. Jungkook is a temptation and a risk, someone who could take away Taehyung’s eternity, even as he could steal Jungkook’s future.

An Interstellar Anomaly by PaprikaFetus - They are two heirs that belong to opposite sides of the universe.

In Every Parallel Universe (I’ll Keep on Loving You) by rimacchi -   “Taehyung.” Jeongguk stops him, his hand tight on his wrist and his head roaring, aching and spinning all at the same time with his thoughts jumbling up but the elder’s lips curl — that toothy boxy grin he has seen through the years. “You disappeared. You literally disappeared. You were gone for seconds and then you just — materialized!” “I have no magic tricks, Jeonggukie.” He replies and smiles because that’s what Taehyung does. He smiles like nothing’s wrong, he laughs and makes everything brighter and beautiful and worth it. But now Jeongguk’s confused and part of him thinks it’s because of those cups of coffee last night and another thinks it’s because he’s going insane; insane because for five seconds, he saw Taehyung vanish into thin air. Or Jeongguk’s happy as a college freshman and is in love with the physical embodiment of sunshine but some shitty supernatural phenomenon makes his boyfriend appear and disappear like magic and the world must have messed up.

Bubblegum Bitch by snowmoney - Jungkook is but a simple delivery boy; the last thing he needs is a high maintenance fake boyfriend.

loving easy by aeterisks - After two years of being a cheerleader, Taehyung has come to know all the people who usually attend the basketball games. So obviously, he wouldn’t fail to notice him. (Or, Taehyung is a cheerleader, Jeongguk is a not-so-really punk and Taehyung never thought he could fall in love so effortlessly.)

you give me the whole damn zoo by themelonlord - “Taehyung, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Jimin complains as he follows closely behind Taehyung, “I mean, what do you know about this kid? He looks like some punk.” Taehyung rolls his eyes and laughs, “You know better than to judge a book by its cover.” He spots Jeongguk standing by some lockers, probably one of them is his, but he doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere. “See? He looks lost,” Taehyung points out, “It’s our job, as seniors, to offer a helping hand to new students.” - aka. taehyung learns what it means to have friends, that not everyone is as mean as those bullies that pull on his ears and make fun of his tail.

Soulmates by GiiGii - Soulmates are supposed to be rare and enviable. At the height of his career, Jungkook can’t believe he’s found his; a beautiful Omega. He also can’t believe that his soulmate has rejected him. Taehyung has struggled with being an Omega since he presented. He doesn’t want to be forced into another dominating relationship but the appearance of Jungkook is upsetting his wishes.

Kintsugi by mysweetkittae - Kintsugi (n) – The Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Jungkook never expected to meet him, the boy that shone as bright as a million suns yet carried a darkness so heavy in his heart that it left his soul shattered, scrambling to pick up the splintered pieces and put himself back together again before he fell apart once more. He never expected to meet him, but he did, and he wouldn’t change it for a thing.

Burnouts, Booze, and Babes by jvante - Taehyung and Jeongguk are just two small town best friends getting drunk too often and making big plans they’ll probably never achieve. Taehyung takes it upon himself to teach Jeongguk all of the proper ways to have sex, and Jeongguk swears he’s just hanging around because Taehyung’s good in bed. Who would have thought these small town losers, who used to smoke behind the school, would become jewelers at the biggest department store in Seoul.

Be Your Forever, Be Your Fling by seikou - “As long as you want me, I’ll stay. I’ll be in love with you; for eternity, forever. I don’t think that will ever change,” Jeongguk says, a smile to his voice.“You’re my first love. My only love.”

Of Knights and Prince and Wayward Adventures by NeraB - After his castle is stormed, Prince Taehyung is forced to flee to secure reinforcements and save all those he holds dear, but he can’t do it alone, and the King entrusts his only son, the future of his Kingdom, to Sir Jeon Jungkook, one of his bravest knights, and the son of his closest advisor. Together, they must learn to rely on one another as they embark on their mission and navigate their feelings, trying to survive long enough to save their home - and their future together.

Mutual Fiend by kkumkkatcher - “I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.” An AU where Jungkook needs to kill Taehyung, but Taehyung also needs to kill Jungkook, and things get (more than) a bit complicated.

Prisoner of the Mind by pinkeow - When your mind traps you inside its cold and dark cell, how will you escape?

I love you everyday (don’t get away) by rooxynroll - “It’s not that, hyung.” He tries out, unsure if the word will displease or appease Taehyung. “I’m going first because we’re climbing down the stairs. I’m protecting you, preventing you from falling down.” The pout of Taehyung’s lips stretch into a sweet smile that reaches his tired eyes. “So… You walk down the stairs in front of me to protect me if I stumble and fall?” Jeongguk nods, doe eyes shining slightly amused by Taehyung’s question. “Hmm. Then, would you carry me down the stairs, Jeonggukie? I’m so tired I might actually hurt myself even though you’re right in front of me. I might sprain an ankle.”or: the one where tae is a model and guk protects his ass (amongst other things).

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