#I actually barely interact with anyone in this fandom anyway so

[lohstandfound]

ignore this.

learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom

even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit

[simplyluunaa]

˙⊹ ੈ✰[Finding You Almost Dead]✰ ੈ⊹˙

-ˏˋ. rules + masterlist ˊˎ-

Fandom: Danganronpa

Characters: Aoi Asahina, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Kyoko Kirigiri, Mondo Owada, Sakura Ogami, Genocider Syo, Toko Fukawa

Warnings: !!NOT SPOILER FREE!! Set in the killing game, some slight angst, and mentions of blood and injury, but no death.

Other: Established relationship, though it's not super obvious. Also, this one is long!! (also also don’t ask about the logistics okay I didn’t think too hard about the cannon deaths timeline)

A/N: The motivation for this one was crazy I banged this out in just a couple of hours. Anyways!! Please excuse any mischaracterizations, but if you want any other characters feel free to request them!! (Not just the first game!! I write for any of them + the anime!!)

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Kiyotaka Ishimaru

When he found you, you were in the fourth-floor music room.

You had lacerations all along your body, unconscious in a small puddle of your own blood

He and Mondo were together, and when they saw the door to the music room ajar, they decided to investigate, but once Taka saw your body, he just screamed, which attracted the others

Kyoko quickly realizes the lack of body discovery announcement and checks your pulse, stating that you’re alive

He Mondo carries you to the nurse’s office

He cries like…so much

He and Mondo stay with you in the nurse's office and patch you up, Mondo kinda acting as a guard dog, not letting anyone near you, and Taka doing his best to keep himself and Mondo calm while they wait for you to wake up

Once you do, he’s once again, in tears

He’s barely able to resist the urge to pull you into a hug, instead, he grabs your hands

He’s just so happy that you’re okay!!

He’s too relieved that you’re okay that he forgets to ask if you remember who attacked you, so Mondo does that

When you say you don’t, his worry increases ten-fold

What if they don’t find out who did it? What if they attack you again while you’re still healing and end up actually killing you? What if they attack someone else?

Insists on having a non-official class trail in the dining hall, and Kyoko ends up taking the lead as most people didn’t investigate because you hadn’t died

The one who attacked you was Genocider Syo

Why? You were ‘flirting’ with Byakuya

You laughed at him because he made a stupid face after Makoto said something he disagreed with. 

She cornered you and cut you up, but intentionally didn’t kill you and avoided lethal areas

Toko didn’t know but doesn’t feel bad

Syo gets shunned, so by proxy, Toko does as well

Though they didn’t interact with the others, other than Byakuya, who doesn’t treat her any different than normal so…

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Mondo Owada

When he found you, you were in the second-floor pool area

You had one stab wound in your abdomen, the knife lying next to you on the ground, you were unconscious in a pool of your own blood

Hina arranged for everyone to meet up at the pool to hopefully have some fun and get their mind off of the killing game for a while, so Mondo and a group of a few other guys were the ones to find you

He starts yelling at everyone around, which causes the girls to go investigate as well

Taka is the only one able to calm him down enough to tell him that you’re still breathing

It’s then he takes action, scooping you up and booking it to the nurses' office

Taka doesn’t yell at him for running in the halls for once

He tries to patch you up himself, but he has limited knowledge of how to do all this in the first place, and his hands shaking and his vision being clouded with tears aren’t helping either

So Taka does it for him while he holds your hands and cleans the blood off of you

Doesn’t want to let anyone close to you, other than Taka and maybe Kyoko, but even then he watching her closely

Does ask Kyoko to find out who did this

Also, he’s like…really pissed

Like infuriated

Swears he’ll kill whoever hurt you

When you wake up, he instantly scoops you up in a hug, accidentally squeezing your wound and hurting you

Almost drops you when you wince

He is hesitant to touch you at all after that because he hurt you!!

Of course, he asks if you remember who attacked you

When you say you don’t, he feels his temper kinda flare

He’s not mad at you, of course, but at the person who had hurt you

The one who attacked you was Leon Kuwata

Claims it was in self-defense because he thought you were a killer

In actuality, you just turned a corner and he was there with a knife, and tried to kill you!!

When it gets revealed that Leon did it, Sakura has to hold Mondo back so he doesn’t kill him

Leon is shunned, and Mondo is weary of everyone but Taka

Doesn’t let you out of his sight for a long while

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Aoi Asahina

When she found you, you were in the Science Lab Storage Room

You had a large impact wound on your head, blood pouring from the wound, and you, of course, were unconscious

When Aoi spotted you, she wasted no time rushing over to you

So she finds out that you’re still alive very quickly

She scoops you up and rushes you over to the nurse's office, tears streaming down her face

Thankfully, whoever attacked you hadn’t cracked your skull, just broke the skin

Once you’re safe in the nurse's office, and she’s patching you up the others arrive, having seen her running through the halls with your body in her arms

Sakura is the one who comforts her the most, a few of the others go to the scene to see what had happened.

At the scene, they find a wooden mallet, after some inspection Kyoko confirms it was the weapon, the size matching the wound on you

Once you’re patched up, she asks Sakura to keep an eye on you and she asks Kyoko and Makoto to help her question everyone to see if they can find out who did it

Byakuya would probably also help, but only because he doesn’t want to be attacked next and they need to find out who the dangerous ones are

After a while, Hina checks back in on you, to see that you’re awake!

She gently hugs you, careful to avoid the wound, and cries, saying how thankful she is that you’re okay

Asks if you can remember what exactly happened

When you can’t she feels bad that she wasn’t there to protect you

The one who attacked you was Hifumi Yamada

He had attacked you under Celeste’s instruction (Like the third trial of the game), but he hit too soft and in the wrong spot, so you ended up surviving

Hifumi would fess up almost immediately, spilling everything he knows about the plan and why

They both get shunned, Celeste refusing to acknowledge him after that

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Kyoko Kirigiri

When she found you, you were in the second-floor hallway

You were slumped against a wall, in an out-of-the-way area, with a few bruises on your body, but most importantly was a large impact wound on the back of your head, a splatter of blood on the wall showing where your head had been slammed against it

She very quickly notices that you’re not dead, and may or may not let out a sigh of relief

Thankfully, a few people are nearby, namely Makoto, Sakura, and Hina

Calmly asks Sakura to carry you to the nurse’s office, and for Hina to accompany you to help patch you up

She’s calm, mostly because she noticed the wound was only skin-deep

She stays to examine the scene, because even though you hadn’t died, you almost did, and she wants to figure out who attacked you

For everyone’s safety…but noticeably yours

It’s harder than investigating deaths, funnily enough, but she is able to gather some clues from the scene and starts to question the others

Once you wake up, she’s by your side as soon as she hears

One part to comfort you, another to see if you knew who had attacked you

You didn’t, but that’s okay, she's a detective, she’ll figure it out

If you want her to stay with you she will, but if you don’t mind either way, she’s going back to questioning the others

The one who attacked you was Mondo Owada

It was a heat-of-the-moment attack, and he didn’t even realize the damage he’d caused

He’d cave the second Kyoko put the smallest amount of pressure, apologizing profusely

Since he seems genuinely remorseful, half of the others are only slightly weary, while the other half shun him

Kyoko will only forgive him if you do, if you don’t however, she won’t either

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Sakura Ogami

When she found you, you were in Classroom 1-A

You had a stab wound on your shoulder, and another one in your side, the knife nowhere to be found

She and Hina had been wandering around together, but after catching a glimpse of blood they busted into the room, both shocked to see your body covered in blood and two stab wounds

Sakura is almost too stunned to move until Hina sees your chest move as you breathe

Sakura scoops you up, she and Hina are silent as they take you to the nurse's office

They patch you up, also in silence

Sakura is seething, though (You remember when Hina got attacked by Syo? Yeah, like that but even more since you’re so badly hurt)

Almost crushed the bottle of medicine she was holding

Once you’re properly patched up, she requests a moment alone

Even though you’re asleep, she grabs your hands and kisses the backs of them, quietly promising to not let any more harm come to you

She checks in on you frequently and stays for long periods of time, just in case you wake up

You thankfully wake up when she’s around, and she’s right by your side

Again, gently takes your hands

After a long stretch of silence, she asks if you remember what happened, or who attacked you

When you say you don’t, she doesn’t press or ask any more questions related to that

Will give you a protein shake

The one who attacked you was Sayaka Maizono

She had meant to kill you to escape, but stabbing people is much harder and much more traumatizing than she had anticipated

She gets shunned, even by Makoto

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Genocider Syo

She actually didn’t find you first, Toko did, but Toko fainted and Syo fronted, finding you in the third-floor Rec room

Freaks out, and runs into the hallway, chasing the nearest person down, putting her scissors to their neck, and threatening them

This person happens to be Makoto, and not far behind him is Kyoko, so the three went back to your body

Kyoko informs her that, while you aren’t dead, you will be if they don’t act quick

So, she scoops you up and runs you to the nurse's office

She tries to patch you up but doesn’t really know how resulting in loose bandages and her panicking over your body

Makoto and Kyoko are not too long after, and they help, though not without Syo watching their every move and threatening them if they make a wrong move

After they're done patching you up though, she makes them take at least three steps back

Stays in the nurse's office until you wake up, keeping everyone away

She even goes as far as to threaten Byakuya

She takes every step possible to keep herself from sneezing or passing out, so Toko doesn’t front

When you wake up, she grabs your hands and smiles in an oddly tender moment

Then asks if you remembers who attacked you, and then follows up by asking if she can kill them

When you say you don’t, she offers to torture everyone until she finds the attacker

Thankfully you don’t have to answer that, as Kyoko comes in, saying she knows who did it

The one who attacked you was Byakuya Togami

You’d ended up preventing a murder, getting everyone to get along, and ignore the motive this time

He thought the game was getting boring, so he took matters into his own hands

He hadn’t meant to injure you so severely, but he figured he hadn’t killed you, and you probably wouldn’t die from blood loss, so he left you there

Syo was furious and chased Byakuya down, Sakura and Hina having to hold her back so she wouldn’t kill him

Instead, she hurls insults at him, and the next few times she fronts, she tries to kill him all over again

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Toko Fukawa (This one is a continuation of Syo’s!!)

She wouldn't front again until after it was revealed that Byakuya was the one who attacked you

When she next fronts, she’s confused

Firstly, she thinks you’re dead

You’re not, thank god

Secondly, you got attacked

Not very good

And thirdly, the person who attacked you Byakuya?

Toko immediately starts hurling insults at him, much like Syo had

She wonders how she’d ever liked someone so rotten

She hadn’t been obsessed with him for a while, but she still held a lot of respect for him up until now

Byakuya gets shunned, but he hadn’t interacted with the others much before this, so it doesn’t affect him too badly

The only real difference is that Toko insults him every time she sees him

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

So many people in this fandom don't understand how fandoms work and it's so annoying. It's really not bad on tumblr but on pinterest???? It sucks so bad 😭😭😭 you dare to ship one thing that isn't canon and you have 15 replies saying "it never says in the books that they like eachother!!!,!!!" "but that character is already in a relationship with another character????????" "this ship is actually WAY BETTER" "but they barely interacted?" "but it's never stated that this character's feelings are reciprocated!!!!"

????????????

i don't care?????? i can do what i want????? I really don't think me shipping moonjou, or turtle with anyone but kinkajou will affect you at all. They would not survive tumblr,,,, there was an ask on this blog that said "whiteout x cricket" and i think that would send them into a coma to be honest

Anyway, in conclusion: please please let me ship moonjou without being told they're better as friends. let me ship qinterwatcher without being told it's toxic. let me ship anemarin without being told that it actually never says tamarin likes anemone back or that anemone is toxic (she's a child). let me ship lynxfall without being told that lynxter and skyfall are way better. let me ship random rarepairs just becayse they're cute without being told they never interact.

Let me ship goddamnit!!!

.

[storiesandthingsofthatnature]

Cradle Snatcher (Pt. 1)

Summary: You had told Leon that perhaps after he graduated from the police academy than maybe you would give him the time of day. You two have an age difference but it’s nothing too big. However it still weirds you out. But, with Leon Kennedy, can you really say no? 

Word Count: 2.9k

Pairing: RE2! Leon Kennedy x fem! reader (afab) Warnings: Age difference (5 year age gap), breeding kink, biting, praise kink, unprotected sex (don’t be silly~), cream pie, pre-ejaculation, dom/sub dynamics lemme know if I missed anything!  Disclaimer: MDNI!!! 18+ only! A/N: Hi there! So I’m very new to the RE fandom so please be nice to me uwu. Anyway, I’ve been reading a lot of dominant Leon and while that shit is nice I also feel like subby Leon is just as hot~ I hope that I did him justice. Like the title says this is pt. 1 so pt. 2 shall be out soon enough! :D If you like my writing be sure to think about popping up in my inbox for some requests :3c I do other fandoms so just lmk! :D I may even make a post about my rules and such, idk. If I get enough of a following :3 Alrighty! Enjoy! :D

You had told Leon that when he had graduated from the police academy then perhaps you would give him the time of day. To be honest, you just felt like a cradle snatcher. Leon was about 5 years younger than you. He was 21 when he graduated and you were 26 and already a lieutenant in RPD. You didn’t want to have a relationship get in the way of work anyway but Leon was hellbent on making you see him as more than a new subordinate.

It all started when you were just the ripe age of 21 yourself. You were called to a high school to talk about RPD and how it may be a nice career choice for the young minds of Racoon high. Leon was one of the bright eyed students that sat right in the middle, his stare never leaving your silhouette as you talked about what could be expected on the job. After class, he had stopped you to ask a few questions. You were happy with his curiosity and answered all of his questions with fervor. You were a budding rookie yourself and anyone who was interested in the same subject that you held dear was a friend automatically. 

Somehow he had wrangled your number out of you, saying that he would love to discuss further on possible internships and things of the like. It seemed like he was truly interested in policing and while that was true he was also very interested in you. Coupled with your beauty and passionate standing with justice and helping people, he couldn’t help but want to be sure that he had some way of keeping in contact with you. 

However, he didn’t make a move until he was 18 and had just graduated high school. You two had interacted a lot since the first day, Leon following your shadow for “on-the-job” training and even studying on his own when he could. On the eve of his first day at the training academy, he confessed to you about how he felt. He was a blushing mess and he ran over his words a lot but it was probably the cutest confession that you ever had the pleasure of witnessing. It was full of pure innocence and a part of you wanted to ruin it~ But you stayed strong and gently let him down. 

Again, you would feel like a cradle snatcher and while there was not that big of an age difference you still felt weird about it considering he had just graduated high school and was barely legal. But he was persistent, wanting to know the reason why. You couldn’t come up with a logical answer other than “You’re younger than me I’d feel weird.” And not wanting to lie to him you told him just that. He then started to ask if it would be because he was less experienced and that made you blush considering what that entailed. With a stutter you mutter a quick,”Maybe after you graduate.” And then quickly ran off to your office. 

You really didn’t think that he would actually wait until he graduated to try again. You were sure that he would have found some cute rookie cop girl, to your dismay, and find happiness with them. However, when he invited you over to celebrate his graduation, you should have known something was off when it was just you. But you did not say anything as you two hung out and drank in celebration. Like the good boy he was, he hadn't drunk any alcohol until he was the legal age, you introducing him to new beverages and mixes. 

After a few shots, Leon couldn’t help but try again. “Will you go on a date with me, [y/n]?” You choke on your drink, a part of you thinking that you should have seen this coming. But another had hoped that it wouldn’t happen. You cleared your throat of the froth,”Leon…” “I know what you’re going to say. That I’m too young for you but I think that’s absolute bullshit. I also know that it’s probably because I’m not all that experienced-” You sigh. “Leon, it’s not that-” “So let me prove to you that I can please you just as much, if not more, than any other guy you’ve been with. Use me.” You felt yourself go into cardiac arrest. He asked what now?! “Use…You?” Leon inched closer to you, eager to prove himself. “I can be your fuck toy.” He declared and you nearly passed out. “Leon.” His stare was stifling, filled with admiration and intent. “Please?” He asked, his fingers finding purchase on your thighs. “I know I can make you feel so good, just let me try?” He seemed to beg, his forehead coming to rest against yours. You audibly gulp. “Have you even been with anyone, Leon?” He gave a shy smile. “I’ve made out with a few girls but nothing more. Wanted to save myself for you.” He admitted and you have never felt so flattered. 

You felt your resolve slipping away. Leon was a very handsome young man. You were sure that a lot of people would love to make him happy. But for some reason he wants you and you couldn’t understand why. “Why me?” You asked, your eyes resting on his lips. You licked your own and Leon’s pupils seemed to dilate at the sight. Leon gave a small laugh. “I could count the ways but I feel like we’d be here for a while and I really want you to fall apart on my tongue right now.” You gently push at him in play,”I’m serious.” He pulled back to look at you. “If I tell you, will you let me?” He was basically asking you if he had a chance and you just couldn’t say no to those beautiful, blue eyes. 

You give in. “Fine.” You whisper and the giant smile that etched onto his face makes your heart swell. He was on you like glue, kisses eager and sloppy but you pushed him back gently. “Uh-uh, no reward until you tell me.” You gently laughed but you felt out of breath. His inexperienced kisses were enough to punch the air out of your lungs. Maybe you had it worse than you thought. He felt like whining but he kept it from bubbling out,”Your personality; from how passionate you are about your work to how motherly you are when you are amongst others that you have to look after.” He seemed to say that last bit fondly and that caught you off guard. “Motherly?” You wonder aloud and he nodded. “You handle people so well and in such a gentle way. It’s both nice and hot to see.” Well at least he was honest, you thought to yourself. 

“Hot? How so?” You muse and you could tell that he was getting a little impatient. He wanted to touch you but you were going to see how long he could last before he snapped. His blush was heavy,”Do I really have to explain that part?” You hum,”Obviously, rookie. I’m very interested.” He gave a reluctant sigh,”You acting motherly…Makes me wonder how you would act if we had kids..” He admitted softly, you having no idea that this is what your Leon was thinking of you this whole time. 

“Oh?” You ask with a glint in your eye. At first you weren’t really for this but now you were starting to get into it. Perhaps you had feelings for Leon that you hadn’t wanted to come to terms with. It’s just having him spill his heart out like this was moving and you couldn’t help the heat forming between your legs from his words. “Does my rookie want to make me a mommy?” You ask with a purr and Leon felt like he was about to explode from the embarrassment. You giggle at his reaction and cup his face in your hands to have him look at you. “Red looks nice on you.” You winked and he wanted to cup his face in his hands and groan. 

While the idea of getting pregnant was definitely not a good idea for you right now, the thought of getting knocked up after this little encounter was enough to make you think twice on logistics. Well, if you had to make a “mistake” with anyone you feel like Leon would be the ideal partner. You find your way onto his lap, his expression turning surprised as you settle yourself over him. “[Y-y/n]?” You gently quiet him with a chaste kiss. “While I would love to learn more about how you feel about me, I can’t help but get riled up by that little imagination of yours.” You say and Leon audibly gulps. You place your arms across his shoulders, crossing your forearms behind him as you lean forward to brush your lips against his. “How about it, rookie? Wanna make me a mommy?” You whisper and Leon bucked his hips up against you. 

“C…Can I?” His voice sounded hopeful, filled with pureness yet sticky with lust. You giggle and give a few languid kisses to which he shivered from. “As long as you don’t dip on me if you actually do end up getting me pregnant.” His hands found purchase on your hips, fingers digging into your skin as he said,”Never.” That was the most confident he had been all night and it made you stutter. “O..Okay. You better keep your word.” You gently joke but at the same time, hope that he truly meant what he said. You lean forward again to capture his lips with yours, Leon returning with fervor. He took your lead and found a place between your hips. He kept his hands against you like you were going to run away and you slid your fingers through his hair to massage his scalp to try and tell him otherwise. He sighed contently into your lips, hips beginning to grind against yours. “S-Sorry.” He whispered, feeling a little embarrassed by his behavior but you give a shake of your head. “No, baby, don’t be. Feel good?” You ask and he gives a fervent nod. 

“Such a good boy.” You purr and he groans from your praise, his hips picking up in pace. You let out little moans of your own, wanting Leon to know that he was being so good for you and your sounds alone were enough to nearly make him cum in his pants. He stopped grinding suddenly, brows furrowed in concentration as he tried to suppress his orgasm. “No, no no, that won’t do.” You say as you begin to grind down on him. “N-no, I’ll cum too soon.” He groaned and you hummed,”It’s not good to keep back your own pleasure. Besides, don’t you want me to see how good you look when you fall apart?” You say with a sly smile and he hid his face in the crook of your neck. “This was supposed to be the other way around….” He commented and you laughed. 

“This is going to be your first time, right? Let me show you the ropes, rookie.” You say and you saw Leon visibly shiver. Suddenly, grinding was not enough for you and you fumble with the front of his jeans. He watches bashfully as you free him from his clothed restraints, his hot cock standing proudly against his shirt. You lick your lips at the sight. “Yes, I think this will do very nicely.” You tease and it was his turn to shove at you. You giggle as you wrap your hand around the base, a nice moan emanating from the back of Leon’s throat. “Hmmmm, let’s see~” You muse as you stroke him lazily, wondering just what you should do for his first time. Suck him off? That was tempting but didn’t he say that he wanted to be used? 

“On your back, rookie.” You command and while he was a little confused he followed your instructions, you straddling his lap once more. “What are you-” “You want to be my fuck toy, right? Then be a good boy and lay there while I use your cock for my own pleasure, okay?” You say in a breathy voice and Leon was left in a stupefied state. “Yes, ma’am!” He practically squeaked out as he laid back against the cushions of the couch. You give a smile at him and begin to undo your own jeans. Slipping off both them and your panties in one go, the sight of slick connecting to the fabric made Leon’s hips buck up. 

“Look what you did to me, rookie. Such a mess, huh?” You tease once more and Leon whines. “I’ll help clean up, ma’am. P-promise.” You hum in satisfaction and settle yourself over his tip. “Just one rule, okay? No touching - This is only for my pleasure, right?” You ask with a tilt of your head and Leon bit his bottom lip as he nodded. “Good~” And you slowly sank yourself down on him. Your head was thrown back as you were filled just right. God, past partners just couldn’t compare! 

Meanwhile, Leon’s eyes had shut completely tight as a silent groan left his mouth. Fingers dug into the cushions below as you suddenly felt a hot gush of something within you. “Ohhh, baby, did you cum?” You wonder aloud and Leon wanted to die. “I-I can keep going! I p-promise-” He didn’t want to disappoint you, not like this and you shushed him with soft kisses. “Shhh, I know, my love. This pussy is just that good, huh?” You bite at his skin and heavy pants left Leon. “Mmmm, ‘s really good.” He managed to say, giving into the pleasure further now that he was sure that he hadn’t upset you. 

 Feeling a little merciful, you say,”Just let me know if it gets too much.” And you raise yourself once more, falling back down onto Leon as you feel his tip brushing the entrance of your womb. “Mmmm, such a good boy. Letting me use him like this~” You tease as you pick a rhythm that is both stimulating yet controlled. You knew that Leon was feeling oversensitive right now and if not careful you could actually hurt him and you could never do that to him. You were the one in control right now and that meant you had to be responsible. Make him feel valid even though he wants to be used like a toy. 

He was very vocal with his pleasure, groans and moans leaving his throat as he tried his best to not grab at your hips. “[Y/N], please-””Aw, what is it baby? What do you need?” You ask in a sweet, saccharine voice. “Wanna t-touch you. Can I?” His fingers scratched at the fabric beneath him, itching to cause you even more pleasure. You hum in thought, hips gyrating instead of bouncing to tease Leon even more. “I dunno. Should I?” You ask with a lilt and Leon couldn’t refrain himself from letting out a frustrated moan. At that little display you tighten your walls and move in a way that makes both of you see stars. 

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease!” Leon said in a hurry, your ego receiving a nice fluff from the sight underneath you. “Oh, alright.” As soon as you gave the go ahead, one hand found its way to your clit while the other reached underneath your shirt and bra in one go. “Ahhh, so eager~” You say with a small smile, his fingers hungry in their assault to bring you close to your own climax. “W-want to you cum on m-my cock.” Leon looked at you with blown out eyes, the once blue hue being taken over by the void of his pupils. “Yeah? Make me, rookie.” You challenge and he was happy to accept. 

 Even though his touches were that of a novice, it was still Leons’; warm, loving, seeking - it was more than enough to bring you near your orgasm. Your bounces become sloppy and you give your own whine to which Leon couldn’t help but smirk at. “Gonna cum soon.” You warn and Leon starts to meet your thrusts with his. “Mmmm, Me too.” He says with a slur,”Gonna cum in you again. Make you a mommy.” He promises against your skin as those words seemed to be what brought you completely over the edge. You let out a delicious cry of Leon’s name and coupled with the intense clamping down on his cock, Leon couldn’t stop himself from coming a second time. His hands found their way to your hips, pushing you down flush against his pelvis so that he could aim directly into your womb. 

“Such a pretty girl. MY pretty girl. Gonna be so full with my kids, fuck-” He started to babble to himself, holding you against his chest as he released inside of you. The feeling of hot cum spilling into you was far more pleasant than you thought it would be. You felt nice and marked, full with Leon and the possibility of having a little one with him. It made your heart swell. You give a small giggle and lean back, looking Leon in the eyes. “Now then, want to try to take the lead for this next one, rookie?” 

[ariuuokay]

Do you have any favourite ships? Any media you're interested in or just duo that you enjoy the dynamic of!!

Ok I barely join some popular media they're more like the quiet ones sooo

So uhh Napolington -

I usually stick to one ship in a fandom and call it a day,but in the end Love is love and as long as it's not really problematic I'm fine,Like when I first joined the Napoleonic fandom I stayed with my pairs till this day and those pairs were..(It may be in order)

And these pairs were pure gambles :D aka

I assumed relationships in FANART😨😨😨(Thank you Amino)

•Napoleonic

-Lannes&Ney:I feel like this Pair isn't talk ABT often😔😔😔My only history with them is that they're the first Marshals I found and paired

-Bessimu:Ill tell you a silly story of how I may have shipped them but I like their contradicting personalities!(they're literally the "inside you are two wolves" meme)

....uhhh ok after some thoughts this ship is sort of my guilty pleasure.Like it's literally corroding my brain

-Massoult:OK GUYS HEAR ME OUT-

ok but genuinely I was relieved knowing they're relationship was pretty good (yk more support to the ship rather than just saying they both liked looting-)The letter from Massena also helped and I like imagining them interacting in my head which IM NOT TELLING YOU OR I WILL GET TAKEN TO THE PYSCHE WARD/but genuinely every knew irl or fannon interaction thats positive makes genuinely ecstatic and full of Dopamine(overall I like a tired grumpy man with a...tired...and old man idk)

-I have more actually it's just that I can't explain all since they did say"Media"so my generals but Classical music ig is next

{A ship I feel like my reasoning should just be kept since I'm on thin ice with this is Bethomoz,thank youu}

•Choliszt:Classic, literally unrequited love,I feel bad for Liszt ngl he seemed so genuinely sweet to Chopin (irl)and Chopin is just annoyed(from what I read)this is also the next ship you'll see in the fandom

Berlix- I heard somewhere Berlioz just casually calls Mendelssohn "Love" or something like that overall they seem quite nice for eachother that's all

Prokshos:I love them SM (Rns_williams drop another Prokshos fic and MY LIFE IS YOURS/SRS)I love the escalation from admiration to rivalry between them and even in the end Shosty still cared for Prokofiev:)

{Some rarepairs}

Vivaldi&Bach:They seem honestly so sweet for eachother.Bach's admiration for Vivaldi was so big he transcribed a handful of his concertos (And I think transcription is like a compliment since your spreading the work of an artist you think is great)Oh and look! They're blue and red what a twist

Paganini& Vivaldi: Literally those "AngelxDevil" gacha trope, They're also both Italians and from what I read Vivaldi was considered a Virtuoso before Paganini came in,Id like to see more stuff ABT them

Paganini &Mozart:Mostly a twist thing I genuinely don't hold that much love for it but I do find them funny and silly!

-Some other pairs(Pairs that I don't really think ABT but still pairs)

•Alberose(Genshin)

•Saintpierre(Frev)

•Saintmoulins(Frev)

•Robesmoulins(Frev)

•Madohomu(Madoka Magica)

•Zhongven(Genshin)

•Gakukai(Vocaloid)

•Skk(BSD)

•Shin Skk(BSD)

Anyways thats maybe all I can cram:,)✧･ﾟ:❀✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ:❀✧･ﾟThank you to whoever asked ABT this!Maybe we can even talk further if anyone who saw this happened to have something to say!!!🌸🍓🫶🫶

-yours truly

Oh once again I'm sorry for unorganised and probably worng wording so if you want clarification pls tell me😭😭😭😭I'm scared I got something misunderstood

(ANYWAYS WHAT A TRIP THAT WAS AMIRIGHT????){pls laugh/j}

[yellowhollyhock]

because I'm the shield

I was trying to write a little scene between rise Raph and Mikey since his overprotectiveness is something they've argued about. But that's turning out slower than I expected and will have to be for another time--maybe will fit a different prompt when it's done, who knows.

I've been rewatching some of 2003 season 4 and having feelings about shield Raph.

Fight scenes do show a lot of him throwing himself between his brothers and physical harm. But season 4, with the family relationships strained, highlights something else, which is Raph shielding his brothers from Master Splinter and each other. Especially Leo.

I learned from the tmnt fandom that sai is meant to defend against sword. And that's so fitting for these two.

Raph defending his brothers from Master Splinter mostly looks like being the loudest and most openly rebellious to draw attention away from (honestly mostly Leo and Donnie) blatantly doing what they're not supposed to do (like traveling to an alternate dimension without telling anyone or fighting the Foot alone. Seriously they call him and Mikey the impulsive ones??). And Splinter isn't a danger to the turtles, he is very loving in 03, but his opinion matters to them and Raph makes himself the squeaky wheel so the others can stay squeaky clean.

But about Leo. Two things going on season 4: Raph is (trying to) protect Leo from his own inner thoughts, verbally replying to his anxieties with positives or neutrals; and Raph is on guard to keep Leo off Don and Mikey's case.

I just watched Aliens Among Us and found it especially sweet when they're all on the roof to watch the President how Raph and Leo interact. Leo is upset with Don and Mikey for fooling around, and says out loud that by even coming to watch they 'may as well ask to be dissected.' (Because it's gonna be a Bishop episode so Leo obviously has to foreshadow that. They just had Bad Day, they will not watch as the various enemies their memories pulled from do in fact torment them.) Anyway, it's the way he keeps a pretty calm, almost lighthearted tone while he talks Leo down from his catastraphizing, drawing attention away from his other brothers who were getting yelled at in the process. And this is just an example of how Raph acts this season.

side note, I adore how these two specifically could be talking about their favorite flavor of potato chips and look like they're plotting a murder. This is a picture of Raph getting as close as he can to physically beating up Leo's inner demons.

Another small moment in this episode that I loved: Raph grabbing Leo by the shoulder with, "Whoa, where are you going? Don't you think we need a plan?" and Leo's plan is 'take out every alien we see.' This is not a Leo at the top of his game, in spite of what he told Splinter last episode about 'doing whatever it takes to protect this family.' Raph knows it. He and Leo have different strengths and different approaches, but he knows a healthy Leo would be analyzing the situation, briefing them all on what they should most likely be prepared for and what information they lack that everyone should keep an eye out for. Leo is an analyst, that's one of his greatest strengths. And he's not doing that.

it's literally like 'hey bro are you okay? you've barely picked apart the enemy's battle strategy or lurked in the shadows.' Leo isn't doing the things he loves and Raph notices.

Also speaking of Bad Day. Here's a picture of Raph telling Donny it's not his fault.

Again he looks like he's plotting murder but he is actually speaking in the softest sweetest voice to his stressed out little brother. This is a turtle who just watched his best friends get blown up by people who were looking for him and his family.

That is all ❤️

[dreaming-hibi]

In this rant I will—

I read something that made me think quite a lot the other day but, if you ask me what it was, well, I wouldn't be able tell you because I forgot. What I can say is that: I'm about to rant on KHR again.

Unsurprisingly, the rant is about our dear protagonist Tsuna (my love for Tsuna is both logical and personal, so let's not go there). I don't interact enough with fandom to make statements like "Most people do" and "Most people don't" — in reality, I've barely interacted with more than 5 people who know this manga in my life. Anyway, of those people, I remember some who were frustrated with the childishness and indecisiveness of the characters, especially someone like Tsuna.

Like, what?

It is only years laters that I finally have the composure to answer this claim with calmness.

"Tsuna is indecisive and childish."

First of all, how can anyone expect a 14 year old to know exactly what they want to do with their lives? Heck, there are some people that only figure out what they want in their 30s, if not later! And some others that never do and live their life trying to make every day count. How is a 14 year old, who had never been entrusted with any kind of expectation, just supposed to know?

Oh, is it because Naruto knew he wanted to be Hokage at 12 years old? Or because Deku was firm in his conviction that he wanted to be a hero at the age of 5? Or again because Edward Elric decided he was going to be a state alchemist and achieved so at the age of 12 years old?

Well, if that's the point of reference then, actually, Tsuna is the most realistic teenager I've seen in a shonen manga with fantastical elements and Amano-sensei did a wonderful job with her teenage (and child) characters. She sure as hell hasn't forgotten what it means to be 14 years old, unlike some people.

Furthermore, Tsuna is a teenager trying to tell what is very much an adult, who has shot him on more than one occasion for trying to oppose him (granted, I know Reborn did it knowing Tsuna could overcome whatever he threw at him and he seemed ready to intervene should it ever seem like Tsuna couldn't do it, it still doesn't change the fact that beginning Tsuna was actively terrified of this baby killing him on accident), that he does not want to be the boss of a mafia family he has, realistically, no obligation towards. Tsuna, at the very least, knows what he doesn't want, and he's vocal about it to Reborn... It's just that Reborn wants to hear none of it.

[Chapter 283 "Simon Middle School", Tsuna telling Reborn that he has no intention of becoming the boss of a mafia family and that he doesn't want to be involved with the mafia anymore.]

If you see Tsuna as childish for the way he keeps insisting that he doesn't want to be part of the mafia, is because you have forgotten what it's like to be 14 years old. Tsuna is not childish in his desire to not want to be involved in the mafia.

Actually, this issue lies in the reader (apart from the whole having forgotten what it feels like to be 14 years old) and in Amano-sensei's representation of the mafia. In Katekyo Hitman Reborn, we see a mafia that has been severely toned down from what it truly is. For us, this "mafia" is interesting, fascinating and, we do not see any problems with Tsuna joining it. After all, "if this is the x, then sign me the fuck up!" right?

Well, no.

Fictional mafia or not, Tsuna shouldn't be forced to join any of it when he doesn't want. Like, it seems like Tsuna is the only one seeing KHR's mafia without the rainbow-tinted glasses. I don't know how the boy does it, because we barely ever see KHR's mafia as being anywhere near as bad as the real mafia is, but Tsuna does anyway and he's right in no wanting any part of it.

I support Tsuna not becoming Vongola Decimo. But I also admit I have no idea what that boy could become if not the boss of the strongest mafia family.

We are introduced to a Tsuna who has no particular life skill, nor any particular hobbies — in fact, that's why he cannot understand Yamamoto's suicidal act in chapter 5, because he himself admits he has NOTHING he ever felt passionate about enough to take his own life.

Though Tsuna gets trained on how to fight, by the end of the manga he still has no life skills to talk about and, that's completely normal. He fought those battles because he HAD to. Those battles did nothing to enrichen his everyday skills.

Yeah, sure, he can go into Hyper Dying Will Mode, but how is HDWM gonna help him pass his algebra exam?

Tsuna needs a hobby outside of the mafia.

[anakin-pilled]

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan. 

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner. 

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel. 

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.” 

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t? 

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.” 

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.” 

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak. 

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering. 

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband. 

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence. 

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge. 

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress. 

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing. 

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.  

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.” 

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it. 

“I know that I’m a fuck up.” 

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible. 

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to. 

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“​​Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment. 

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis. 

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate. 

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.” 

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew. 

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that. 

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot. 

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good. 

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider. 

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father.  He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next. 

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first. 

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out. 

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest. 

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold. 

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents. 

“My family and I are leaving the forest.” 

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I  thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father.  They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke. 

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak. 

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half. 

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him? Why would she take away Spider? 

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible. 

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live. 

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice. 

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too. 

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did. 

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love. 

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself. 

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days. 

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned. 

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end. 

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.” 

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together. 

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

[blood-orange-juice]

ok so ive never properly played genshin and don’t plan to but i know a bit about it’s lore and characters and i think it’s really neat. however i have thousands of hours on ffxiv. on that note please explain why graha and childe are similar. i only have very basic knowledge on childe and i gotta know

Fellow ffxiv enjoyer. <3

(anyone asking me about G'raha has a 100% chance of getting a wall of text and I'm not apologising for that. enjoy your wall of text)

I'm not entirely sure I'm not a case of a person with a hammer to whom everything resembles a nail, but I do think they are the same archetype.

Sweet characters who could have been perfect sidekicks (who still are perfect sidekicks) but listened to too many epic tales as kids and found themselves in a wrong place at a wrong time and now have to play a key role in some universe-changing story.

Both are defined mostly by their stubborness, they are not very suitable for the roles they've chosen and fail over and over again until they do it somewhat right (barely).

No matter how badass they look, their power is not their own, G'raha is a glorified technician of someone else's miracle and little else than a living key, Childe wields an art of old Khaenri'ah without fully understanding it. It's all borrowed from someone else who needed them to achieve a goal.

They do look badass, but mostly because they larp. I'm honestly not sure which one enjoys theatrics more.

Civilisations that created the magic they use specialised in perversion of the natural order of things. They try to use it in relatively noble ways and mostly hurt themselves but the flavour is there.

Both are unbelievably tragic and both somehow make their stories seem almost lighthearted. Complete absense of self-pity. I think that's what makes them both so charming, it's a rare trait.

Both have an incredible capacity for loyalty and love and an incredibly twisted view of what relationships look like. "I'll cross time and space for you, I'll die for you, I'll build a city for you, I'll live for you but please don't ask me to share my plans." "I'll sacrfice my own health and respect of my subordinates to keep my brother's happyness, probably my humanity too, but don't expect me to actually interact with him."

Both have something that looks like self-sacrificial tendencies bordering on suicidality while being, if we are honest, a self-serving trait (partially born out of low self-esteem but still self-serving). They want to live in an old myth and sacrificing oneself is a perfectly reasonable price for that.

Huge egos. And I mean Huge Egos. It's a bit less obvious in Graha's case but I know the type, you see guys like that in PhD programs a lot.

Huge dorks. Both of them.

Both are stuck somewhere between human and non-human and, hmm... their ability to remain human is the most astonishing quality of both. By all accounts, neither should have. They somehow did.

Both are incapable of lying to the point where a third of each fandom headcanons them as autistic. Both are somewhat all right with tricking people without technically lying (although Childe had more practice).

Both are secretive because no one would understand anyway.

FF XIV is a kinder story, so it's easy to overlook, but technically G'raha is a case of body horror, accepts the role of a villain for a while and hides from the player way too much. Hmmm... Where else have I seen it. Hmm. Oh right. That ginger guy from Genshin.

Minor things:

Both are little shits and enjoy annoying the hell out of people they dislike.

Abysmally bad fashion sense. There should be a name for this particular type and level of bad. I don't think I've seen this anywhere else.

And then there's the colour scheme. Red+black+white+blue and red+black+light grey+blue (it's an "anime magician" color profile, I think. black-red-white as alchemy colours + blue as pure magic/something elemental). Childe doesn't quite fit but still the combination is rare.

They way they talk. Dear gods. Who the hell talks like that.

Here's where the similarities end.

One is morally grey but ultimately a good guy (technically. I think the point of ShB was that Emet and G'raha are almost the same), another is a morally grey but still (kind of) a bad buy.

At every step of his story Graha is surrounded by people who love or at least appreciate him, Childe is pretty much on his own and surrounded by people who are either shitty or clueless.

G'raha is kind. Truly and astonishingly kind, in a doomed world he chooses to love everything he touches. Silly little priest of hope. Of all the things he has done this is the most wondrous, I think. Not the time travel, not the city he founded, just being able to remain kind after everything that happened to him.

Childe is... well, Childe. I think he is a deeply decent person (to the point of having a visceral distaste for any kind of unfairness) and he's idealistic but he's indifferent more than he is kind. Empathy usually develops only when someone has shown the person empathy first and, as far as we know, he didn't have much of that in his life.

Also G'raha builds things. Childe breaks things. Childe breaks pretty much everything he touches.

One is an archeologist and a mage and another is a warrior.

I think these differences are caused mostly by the settings they were put into. Childe raised in Sharlayan would have been a very different person. G'raha trained by a voidsent and shipped off to Garlean military would look very much like Childe.

G'raha also has a beautiful character development arc. I love his ShB role. He has this huge ego in the raids and is insufferable and then we see an older and wiser him with a bunch of actual achievements and a bad case of impostor syndrome (trying to do anything real always humbles a person, we all know that real world is held together by sticks and scotch tape. honestly, this change alone is beautiful). And he gets to be an actual hero when he abandons all hope to be Important and resigns to die as a nameless villain if it saves everyone and spares his loved ones from heartbreak.

Childe's character development is yet to happen and I'm not hoping for much but we'll see.

The only difference that definitely isn't created by setting is that G'raha is naturally manipulative. In a kind-hearted way and mostly for the sake of better larp but he isn't that straightforward. Childe is spectacularly blunt for all his mysteriousness.

As a bonus, they both compare main characters to stars, but in completely different ways.

"No doubt your heroism will be the star by which I chart my course," says G'raha to the WoL.

Childe mentions the morning star, which is, of course, pretty and a good companion to a lonely traveler, but also it's not a celestial body you can chart your course by.

It's a guy whose signature weapon is called "Polar Star" and his first artifact set was full of nautical themes, so I think he fully understands what he's saying. "You are my friend but I won't change anything in my life for you."

So I don't think his story will be anything like G'raha's, his life took a different turn very long ago. I do think they used to be similar as kids, bookish boys who dreamed of adventure and being special. So it's fun to compare.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. <3

[5and3nevermind]

I’m sure you’ve talked about this a lot, but I wasn’t sure what to search for in order to find any of your posts on it so sorry if I’m just bringing up things that you’ve already talked at length about.

But, I woke up this morning thinking about the live Jimin and Yoongi did together during Yoongi’s tour and feeling crazy about it all over again.

I remember watching it in real time and just being excited to see them do a live together, just them for the first time. And while I felt like their body language throughout was interesting, again, while watching in real time I was more focused on what they were saying and only after the fact really started side eyeing the way they were mirroring each other. But the end, when Jimin grabbed Yoongi’s arm and Yoongi immediately ended the live…I felt that in my stomach, and seeing it after the fact hasn’t lessened that feeling at all.

I’m not the type to think about their relationship in absolutes, mostly because I don’t know anything past what they show us and because it doesn’t actually affect me in anyway. So, while I enjoy the idea of them, and enjoy getting to watch them together and think about them, whether it be platonic or romantic or whatever, I just enjoy it and don’t really get caught up in wanting to prove anything both to myself and especially not other people. But there is something about that moment, paired with the fact that it was completely unedited sticks in my brain as something I have a hard time waving away or shrugging off like most things.

It doesn’t prove anything (and I don’t need or even want it to), but it’s one of those things where I know how it made me feel in the moment and how it continues to make me feel when I see clips of it (which isn’t often because I tend to not be able to look at that moment straight on lol it’s too much for me). I need to know if that moment drives anyone else as crazy as it does me!

On a more wholesome note, that paired with the bangtan bomb we got of that same day of Jimin coming to Yoongi’s show and seeing how Yoongi acted the whole time, you can just tell how having Jimin around affects Yoongi’s mood/mentality, it’s very sweet. Makes me think of him saying he got a lot of strength from Jimin visiting the Shadow set (despite Jimin not feeling that gratitude at the time LOL), or Yoongi whining about Jimin not visiting the Daechwita set. I know the fandom (and Yoongi, I’m not trying to discount their friendship at all) thinks of Hobi as the person who gives Yoongi energy. But I don’t think enough credit is given to the fact that Yoongi becomes so playful and silly when interacting with Jimin (Suchwita, anyone??)

I don’t know what my point is anymore, I’m spiraling. I just enjoy getting to watch these two interact in whatever way they want to share with us.

Hi anon! I have to warn you: I can feel that I’m about to write a long answer. Hope that’s ok! 😉

In terms of the live: I’m still absolutely floored by their dynamic. The Newark live and Ddeun Ddeun were so incredible to me. Of course, we can’t know for sure whether Yoongi and Jimin are a couple or not. But I do feel 99% certain that they are close and they absolutely adore each other.

In an effort to be objective, I think we sometimes ignore how we feel about certain moments. However, I don’t think we should be so quick to dismiss our instincts. During the live, I think many of us watched and felt something. I don’t think we imagined that. Especially when we have 10+ years of content in which we’ve observed these two together.

I’ve never written about the live in detail. (I have written about “your bare face is pretty too.”)

The ending was CRAZY. The live had only been going for about 18 minutes and Jimin had only been on screen for about 12. Then this moment happened:

I honestly don’t know what happened here. Yoongi seems vulnerable and as soon as Jimin touched this shoulder, that was it for the live!

As soon as that moment happened, Yoongi started wrapping up the live, which seemed to surprise and delight Jimin.

The other funny thing: earlier in the live, Yoongi had said he wasn’t tired. Now all of the sudden he’s tired? Ok.

Honestly, after watching the live I can understand why they don’t go live often. They are so fond of each other, the energy is off the charts.

I'm not the type to think about their relationship in absolutes, mostly because I don't know anything past what they show us and because it doesn't actually affect me in anyway. So, while I enjoy the idea of them, and enjoy getting to watch them together and think about them, whether it be platonic or romantic or whatever, I just enjoy it and don't really get caught up in wanting to prove anything both to myself and especially not other people.

I think you’re very smart to see it this way. There’s a lot we don’t know, and in many ways their lives are much more complicated than ours. I used to be obsessed with wanting to know for sure if they are “real” or not. My brain doesn’t like unsolved mysteries! It’s as if I have to resolve issues in my mind in order to move on to other things. Thankfully, I’ve moved on from that way of thinking. I’ve accepted that we might never know for sure. I also think that, in a way, it doesn’t matter. A lot of people interpret “yoonmin is real” as saying “yoonmin is a couple.” But I think there’s another way to look at it.

I see “yoonmin is real” as meaning that their moments are genuine, what they say about each other is truthful, they are extremely close and are an important part in each other’s lives and in their development as artists and as human beings. I can’t sit here and say I’m sure they’re a couple. But I can say with 99% certainty that they are “real” in this second sense of the word.

It was after Ddeun Ddeun and the Newark live that I truly felt…at peace. My brain was able to shift from “mystery-solving mode” to “I just want to enjoy their dynamic and their lovely bond while I can.”

Anyway, they are truly special to me, and it sounds like they are to you too. 💛

Thanks for the ask and sorry I rambled!

[chaoticdaydreamingmess]

Should I post about my barely scratched at Smiling Critters AU?

(All of what I've done can/could change but as of right now..) The short run down is half of them are vampires (Catnap, Kicken, Hoppy, Crafty), half of them are not (Picky is a detective, Dogday and Bubba are Vampire hunters, Bobby is the determined "damsel".)

It is very Ship heavy because I like that stuff. It's main is of course Dogday and Catnap. Then there's StarStudent, then Picky and Crafty. Hoppy and Bobby are an iffy on if I wanna make it a ship or keep it as friends (probably will stay as friends in this AU.). But anyway... Um...

Some rambling kinda rant-ish under the cut I did to get my emotions out.

It has major shipping in it since I get sucked into that stuff easily when my brain goes "these characters are now going to be your main source of daydreaming, coping, and happiness and stuff" and while I follow people that make me feel good about shipping em all, and see so many people sharing in the varried possibilities and fun make believe, all it takes is that one post, comment, thing, to send ya back into a "stop it, your disgusting, don't do anything online, don't interact with anyone, you should actually hurt yourself for shipping them at all, blah blah blah" spiral, and the thing is you don't even feel that way towards the people you look at, just upset and mad at yourself and then more mad because that thing is the biggest reason you now feel you can't or shouldn't risk making an AU or having fun with the characters like you see so many others where they don't harm anyone.

Anyway this is me trying to convince myself to do it because I really do want to. I missed my chance at all my other fandoms since I'm no longer in that same high for them unfortunately, but my stupid brain needs some semblance of validation that I can indeed do what I want, I'm allowed to be weird, I'm allowed to have fun, I'm allowed to share it with others, I'm allowed to want to see others' reactions to it while wishing for good reactions and them to enjoy my self indulgence with me, not to mention this is tumblr I shouldn't hold back.

Anyway sorry about the rambling needed to get it all out. Saw something saying it was disgusting to ship Catnap with anyone and any of them in general, so that dampened my mood RIGHT when I was about to try and finally post something on my own kinda ship indulgent Smiling Critters AU. So this rambling is me deciding to be raw and also try and rise my mood a little bit.

Anyway that's all now. I'm done now. Just... I'ma go drown in the lovely art and posts of people I follow that ship the Smiling Critters, to try and feel better and less icky.

[princesssszzzz]

Team fandom fights has rotted the brains of some I fear. I’m mostly team green but that person is embarrassing! Loud and Wrong! A lot of people are projecting hard onto these characters to the point where they no longer understand the characterization or the relationships between everyone

Absolutely, it is projection bc they didn’t get it from F&B or even the show. Especially onto Aemond. Half the takes on the show are people’s headcanons they collectively decided to treat as canon while what actually happened on screen is ignored. It’s also people who have been in their own little fandom bubbles and echo chambers since season 1 so they feel comfortable saying bullshit and don’t think anyone will even question what they’re saying. Echo chambers where people tell each other every character that isn’t their fave is secretly a horrible person and their faves are perfect and should be defended no matter what.

The characters during the dance are not a monolith of a “team”, they are individuals. For example, Aemond and Rhaena are much different than Aegon and Baela. Totally different; each pair one on team green one on team black yet totally different characters and interactions with each other. First off Aemond is absolutely wrong in his interaction with Rhaena and that’s not the first time I’ve seen people try to justify the “ride a pig” comments seconds after acknowledging it as bullying when it’s said by one of the strong boys.

Aemond and Rhaena barely interact, and adding up all their interactions, there is no normal person in this world that would say Rhaena is a bad person and not only that, but that Aemond or literally anyone would be justified in attacking her in any kind of way. There’s literally people in the fandom saying she should be killed by Aemond like wtf 🤨 Literally going off the characterization of them, Aemond is STILL pissed at the strong boys and there is absolutely no reason anyone should be falsely claiming he hates Baela and Rhaena at the end of season 1. Hence why the WRITERS of the show have him ranting endlessly about strong boys despite Baela and Rhaena being randomly added to the fight scene. He’s not mad because a younger girl hit him, he’s mad because he doesn’t like the strong boys and his eye was taken out. Aemond doesn’t give af about being pushed by a girl years younger than him, much smaller than him, and who isn’t trained to fight. And he’s not mentioning them in his little toast for a reason. Especially not Rhaena, when Aemond is a character that absolutely knows he was wrong in how he spoke to her and mocked her for not having a dragon, but would not admit it. That doesn’t mean he’s besties with them, that means they would literally just have a “cordial” relationship post time skip if the dance never happened. Even Baela is cordial with Aegon and calls him cousin despite not knowing that mf and this is after she’s hearing him be disrespectful for the first time.

This takes me back to the dinner moment where Rhaena raises her cup to Aemond after Viserys’ toast. Anyways, I just think it’s funny. I’ve also seen people creating fan art showing Baela and Rhaena flipping off Aemond and being antagonistic towards him when they literally aren’t like that whatsoever. This seems like the false characterization of Baela and Rhaena and their relationship with Aemond specifically that fans are constantly trying to push despite that not being on screen. Don’t even get me started that Aemond literally watched Rhaena clearly disagreeing with him and Jace fighting. Disagreeing with both Jace pulling out a knife and Aemond grabbing a rock.

People are not paying attention to this show and just seeing what they want to see atp.

Aegon and Baela interact multiple times and Baela genuinely can’t stand him. Then we add in the show interactions with him sexually harassing her, they have a fight and legitimately have no reason to give af about each other. Baela is not some mindless violent person despite what people keep pushing, she literally jumped in shock when Daemon killed Vaemond. Aegon is not a good person to Baela, and no amount of people saying Baela went to the rat pits is going to change that.

The interactions between Aegon and Baela is more obvious and it’s just impossible to misinterpret what type of people they are and their moments. The events of the dance and Aegon’s behavior leads Baela, someone who has never killed anyone, to risk her life attacking him. They are supposed to oppose each other. Their dragons names are literally Moondancer and Sunfyre.

That being said, despite what the chronically online claim, as of the end of Season 1 I’m absolutely under the impression neither Aegon or Aemond (or Daeron) hates Baela or Rhaena or want to kill them over Aemond getting pushed or simply because their father married Rhaenyra. Neither the show or the book is as simple as team black v team green and people need to start comprehending that sooner rather than later. I’m 99% sure Aegon on screen in the future will have an opportunity to kill Baela and will not take it. Baela and Rhaena are innocent, hence why so many things that happen purposefully don’t involve them. So much for these people and their “Baela and Rhaena are the villains and the green boys should go fight them” headcanons and wishes. People ignoring that these characters are related, and that does mean something. There is no blind “I want to kill them!!” going on. What’s not clicking 😭 Aemond didn’t even want to kill the kid that actually took his eye but you want to headcanon that he’s eager to kill Baela and Rhaena? Please go sit tf down 😂 Aemond and Aegon are not some mindless brutes trying to kill everyone on team black. How has this NOT been understood by someone claiming to be a team green stan. I don’t even like the show but I understand it better than it’s fans…..

[bonesandthebees]

Bee i don’t enter your anon box very frequently but i am just SO EXCITED about you branching out into writing for house of the dragon, even if you don’t end up continuing, its just super exciting to see!! Especially as someone who has been following your work since the final few chapters of clinic and now is insanely obsessed with got/hotd i am just so so so excited to see where you go from here!!!

I also might be delusional but i’ve noticed that incredibly complex and interesting wlw dynamics tend to be ignored in favor of the far less complex or developed mlm dynamics (especially in fanfiction), so it is just soooo nice seeing an author i really enjoy and respect writing for such interesting characters.

ANYWAYS this is just your reminder that no matter what you end up writing you’ll have readers who support you because your work is really really good <<<33

aaaa thank you!! it makes me so happy to hear this. I loved house of the dragon when the first season aired (and is what directly inspired under the hanging rose) so I've definitely thought about writing for it before, but I just never had an idea that really stuck until the other day when I was like wait a second-

also you're not delusional. wlw ships are almost always the least popular in fandom, with female characters very often being shoved out of the way, ignored, or pigeonholed into stereotypes by fandom at large. it thrills me to see how popular rhaenicent is in the hotd fandom, but even while being relatively popular it's still often overshadowed by ships between male characters who have barely interacted before. and of course I think fandom is a space to have fun and anyone can ship what they want, but sometimes I think people need to sit down and actually reflect on why they feel more drawn to the ship between two male characters who barely had a minute long scene together (*cough cough* all the ship content I've been seeing for that blackwood guy and the bracken guy) compared to a more complex, interesting, and nuanced dynamic between female characters.

I have a lot of strong feelings about misogyny in fandom spaces. but also I'm a lesbian who just loves writing about sapphic romance. and I just adore alicent and rhaenyra's dynamic in the show. there are so many layers to the pining and resentment and guilt and frustration they feel for each other and just. agh. it's so good.

ty for this it means so much that some of you guys wanna stick around to reading my stuff even when it's not mcyt <33

[chiisana-sukima]

Hello, I really love your perspective on SPN.How much of the incestuous undertones do you think were intentional (obviously the writers are aware of some of it with the erotically codependent line)? And also how much do you think the general viewerbase (not fandom) picked up on back when the show was coming out?

I think the vast majority of the incestuous undertones were intentional and that spn is the 7 Minutes of Incest Show, if not from day one, then certainly at least from season one. Kripke and Gamble both called it "the epic love story of Sam and Dean" and Jensen has called it a love story about two brothers. The number one major theme of the show over its whole run is the way love, abuse, and horror in families run together and interact, and an act of vertical, nonconsensual incest (Mary and Azazel's kiss) is the first domino through which the entire rest of the plot occurs. Kripke was asked by Standards and Practices if he'd be willing to remove it and he declined. That suffocating feeling of someone loving you enough to do anything for you, but also anything to you, and how that's an unacknowledged aspect of familial love--all of that is all over the text and has to be intentional. It's too blatant, omnipresent, and barely even given plausible deniability, to not be.

That said, I also think there was no intent at all that Sam and Dean be interpreted as actually banging each other or even interested in banging each other. The risque jokes are just risque jokes. They practically write themselves even had both the writers' room and the set not apparently been inhabited mostly by people with the sense of humor of twelve year old boys (which I'm not complaining about--I too have the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy and find most of the jokes hilarious). The weird interest in each others' sex lives is just the same over-investment they have about every other aspect of each other's lives. And the more serious romantic/sexual overtones imo are there to reinforce the platonic/emotional love story, not tell a separate one.

R.e. how much did the general audience (GA) notice it, I have no idea tbh. My guess is probably not much, because the GA is there to be entertained, not think too hard about every little detail like we do in fandom. Spn is a very vibes-based show and one can easily absorb the vibes for entertainment purposes without thinking too hard about what they mean.

And to be blunt, people in general have a metric fuckton of practice not noticing irl incest while pretending to be vigilant about and horrified by it, so why would they notice it in a fictional setting where the love between the (emotionally) incestuous family members is ultimately redemptive and always saves the day? That's a pretty hard disjuncture to face squarely imo. Not looking away is a learned skill that most of us have no specific reason that we know of to learn, and it's in many ways an awful experience learning it, so why would most of us bother? I've never specifically asked a GA member about the incest piece in particular, but my spouse, who is a GA member, didn't notice that spn is particularly rapey and didn't notice that Lucifer had canonically raped Sam, even though Spouse has a long and sometimes complicated marital history with a rape survivor.

Anyway, thanks so much for the ask! I'm always very interested to hear the opinions of others, so Nonny, you and anyone else who feels like it are welcome to add on in reblog.

[the-girl-in-the-high-castle]

Everyone who knows me in this fandom knows that I'm a sucker for mauraeyk and that they are the most important part of the show to me. Besides them, I also love Clémence and Jéromé, I've mentioned that before, too. These two ships, connections, are quite obvious. They are so obvious that it's impossible not to see them, even if you're not right in the head.

But, there are two characters whose subtle connection I love so much. It's barely noticeable until you see their last scene, but then you watch again and see it's always been right there. Tove and Franz. The two of them are also my favorite characters right after the main trio. I think they are way too underrated, especially Franz. Franz doesn't get the hype he deserves, but he's definitely one of the best characters in the show. He's too overlooked.

Anyway, I've seen a few people talk about these two, but definitely not enough. Many people, myself included, needed that last scene to realize the two have a very obvious connection, and I'm dying to know what kind of connection that is. When you re-watch the show and actually pay attention to their interactions, you realize it's always been there. I mean, look at Franz. Throughout the entire season, he's shown as a violent and cruel man. His very first scene is beating someone up. He has a bloody face all the time and is never nice to anyone. He questions Eyk's orders and decisions multiple times, unafraid of the consequences. He organizes a mutiny, as stated, punishable by death, yet he doesn't care. He believes he's doing the right thing, not from any selfish desire, but for the good of everyone on the ship. But who is the only person he's never been rude to? The only person he's ever been nice to and considerate with? Tove, of course.

You'd think, okay, maybe because she's pregnant. But I don't think so. I mean, it's not like he showed any politeness to children. His mutineers threw Elliot overboard. He didn't bet an eye, let alone try and stop it. He even encouraged it. He beat her brother and threw him down the stairs, calling him a rat or something like that. He's been violent and rude to everyone but her. Never her. She's a woman? It's not that either. Maura's a woman too, he didn't care.

When they find Ada's body, and they examine it in the morgue, Maura says she's met her: "There's a pregnant girl downstairs, this is her sister." In that very moment, the camera is on Franz, and it's obvious he has a certain reaction to Maura's words. But up until this moment, him and Tove haven't crossed paths if I'm not mistaken. No interaction between them yet. Why does he react like that at the mention of her? After that, when he decides he's had enough of Eyk's shit, he goes to the third class not going to Anker or Iben, or Krester. He goes to Tove. He takes her to Ada, all the while acting like a kicked puppy in her presence. As if he was afraid of her judgment. He offers her his help, and when she dismisses him, he acts like a kicked puppy even more. That is his last straw that drives him to riot. You can compare that scene and his scene with any other person on the ship. It would look like he was a different person.

When the mutiny starts, she's one of the first he gives a shotgun to, without hesitation. He doesn't think her fragile or incapable. When everyone starts jumping during the calling, the two of them tie each other up, together, and he helps her and Anker stop Iben from jumping. When the storm begins and Eyk and Sebastian are gone, Franz takes over, and they all split up in order to keep the ship afloat. The French stay together, Angel and Ramiro stay together, Ling Yi doesn't want to leave Olek, and Tove's first instinct is to go with Franz. I mean, she leaves her parents there while they're giving up on life because her father chooses to die with her mother over living with her. Yet, Franz doesn't hesitate for a second to take her with him when she asks. Which ultimately cost him his life. Would he have done it if she hadn't been there with him? Maybe, we don't know. But he commits the ultimate sacrifice in order to save her. You don't get further than that. Giving your life for someone, someone you've supposedly met just a few days ago.

"Promise me you'll live" is the last thing he says to her. He might have done it for the sake of everyone else on the ship, but he had done it first and foremost for her.

Up until that moment, Tove's always been the one keeping her family in check, in spite of being someone who actually needed them and their support. She was the one keeping them together in spite of everything that happened to her. Her father kept choosing her mother over his children, while everyone else was falling apart. But then she got to experience what it was like when someone put her first. Franz did that, and he did by giving his life for hers.

Now, I'm not sure how their connection feels to me, whether it is romantic or platonic. Honestly, I wouldn't mind either of those. The SanSan shipper in me kind of feels like it could be romantic (my fellow SanSan shippers would understand). The one thing that was weird to me is the age they're supposed to be. I refuse to believe Krester is older than Tove. That is simply impossible. And there is about twenty years of age difference between them if those articles were right, so it may seem weird to people.

Anyway, I love their story either way, and I would give blood to know what it was all about.

[seeseamonkey]

I'm super curious about your OC! Could you tell me more about him? I hope I'm using the right pronouns. Sorry if not.

i would love to!!!! (yes, he/him is right! thank u for asking :3)

this is a lot, sorry 😭😭

his name is Alfie, short for Alfalfa. he was born in Ireland in 1899 to a family of 7 (later 10). his parents carried the weight of very recent generational trauma, i.e. the potato famine. the lesson learned is to have as many kids as you can; not to love them, but to guarantee the continuation of the bloodline. anyway you can imagine the kind of shenanigans Alfie got up to with zero supervision LOL

said shenanigans included getting his tail amputated after a big gnarly wound gets infected. that leaves him with an autoimmune disease and a whole charcuterie board of psychological problems (PANDAS). he's about 9 when that happens, and he's about 11 or 12 when he starts getting odd jobs to save up for a ferry ride to New York.

he gets to start over as a weird little boy instead of a weird little girl. he basically lives off of the kindness of strangers, mostly being fellow Irish immigrants. the poor fool barely speaks English so living with those who speak both English and Irish is a big relief for him.

he train hops around the country til he meets some fucked up looking cat (mordecai) that ends up teaching him most of the English he knows in the present day. Alfie ends up following him around and they become dependent on each other and inconveniently inseparable.

im still working out the kinks of his story, but somehow maybe he ends up getting close with Nina McMurray and subsequently Freckle. not Rocky though. he doesn't like Rocky.

Alfie is weird, like.. weird. he doesnt understand nor care to understand societal expectations. he says shit that's weird, or that doesn't make sense to anyone but him. he uses words in the wrong context because they sound right. he disregards the laws of the land, the laws of language, the laws of unspoken etiquette, etc. he's just insufferably neurodivergent LOL he's like a little alien. Mordecai is the only person on the planet that understands him, mostly because Alfie also taught him a lot of Irish, so when he mumbles incoherently Mordecai has to translate it. their stories are intertwined but Alfie is his own little sausage.

there's a lot more about him i have yet to write/draw/think up and there's a lot more that ill be sharing eventually!

im actually super super excited that you asked. i read a lot of Silver's big book and im super inspired by the amount of work and love and care you've put into him. im really really grateful to have people interested in my bizarre boy!!!! im so super excited to interact with you and the rest of the lackadaisy fandom 🥹❤️