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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #dp thoughts

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steve0discusses · 5 years

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Yugioh S4 Ep 15: Yami Joins the Bay Area Tribe By Throwing a Riot About Sports on Caltrain

So as you’ve probably guessed because of my lack of posts--I got kinda busy with life stuff and just got hit with this really nasty flu at the same time. Yes, I am in a Coronavirus-affected area but no, I don’t have it and I am not dying (although I did do the right thing and quarantined myself anyway, much like a whole lot of the Bay who are just...working from home. Traffic’s been great.) It’s just that every January/February I tend to fall apart and get the flu so bad I lose my voice for 5 days. This year was 6 days. I just catch the flu a lot, but at least I get my shots so it’s not as bad as it would have been.

So, I took a hell ton of Nyquil and Dayquil and while I’m...functional...I don’t know if any of this make sense. So forgive my rambling. I usually ramble, today I’ll be like...hella rambling. About TRAINS.

So anyway, Lets talk about Yugioh.

Lets board a Californian train!

Yugioh has decided that out of every vehicle they’ve devoted episodes to--they haven’t done trains yet, so it’s train time. Train time...in America...which is not a great place for trains. Like I never really think about it but...people take the freakin Greyhound over trains. Which is wild, guys, the Greyhound is...it’s a state of mind. We ignore trains so much.

It’s just really funny that they left Japan to go to America to ride a train when it’s like...the show takes place...in Japan. The land of wonderful trains. But wtv, they wanted ye Old Western experience.

Anyway, Rebecca really wanted to go on the train with them, but everyone pretty much decided that children were no longer safe on this trip with Yugi and co. The fact that Yugi and co are also children is something I guess we decided to push under the rug. I mean Duke Devlin has a freakin job and a work Visa at 17 so...that’s adult enough, right?

(*in a very Roaring Camp Railroad Commercial voice, and over the dulcet sounds of a banjo* More TRAINS under the cut!)

And then Arthur decided to just really grill it into Yami for some reason.

I think it was mostly to act as a recap but damn, Arthur Hawkins just really seems to hate Yami for killing Yugi. Anyway, lets get a good look at our train.

Surprisingly for this show, they decided not to put us on the Roaring Camp Railroad through the Santa Cruz Mountains, instead, they put us on an actual legit commuter train, and it blew my mind because...it’s the CALTRAIN.

That’s my train! What’s my Caltrain doing in Yugioh!?!?

They even got the paint job right! This is absolutely the Caltrain!

We never update this train. So yes, it still looks like this over 10 years later. It’s very underfunded.

+++THIS IS TRAIN FACTS FEEL FREE TO SKIP TRAIN FACTS+++++

So the Caltrain was originally privately owned tracks--which is how they are really nicely laid out--a private company bought everything/pushed out the old owners before the place got developed. When trains went under, the tracks were purchased by the State and then given to Amtrack to manage. So, Caltrain is strictly property of the State Government but still run by the Federal Government at the same time. Don’t ask me how it works, I don’t know, I just pay my taxes and it goes vroom.

We’ve wanted to extend the Caltrain down to Southern California for a very long time, but because of corruption and a lot of people in politics refusing to expand the Bay out of the fear of maybe dropping our housing prices to reasonable limits, and the fear of making it way too feasible to get more children to Disneyland, the track has stayed roughly the same length for over 40 years.

Overall, It’s less drive time than this duel that takes up this next arc, I’m pretty sure. I’m gonna guess that the duel will be 3 episodes long because c’mon. This is Yugioh. It’s always 3 episodes long, like a Nintendo boss.

Anyway, all these train facts are things that are probably so weird and foreign to places that have ample trains--but in America, we just don’t have a strong train lobby compared to our auto lobby. So, I’m sure that people in Japan making this series thought “Oh they’re on a train--it can just go forever because why wouldn’t it be long? Aren’t all American trains connected?” but uh...it’s a short train. Like we’re talking like a few hours max, and that’s only if they’re starting from Gilroy.

I will say that BART is longer and has multiple tracks, so you would think they’d just take BART instead. But, it goes under the ocean for part of it, and we’ll get to why that would have been a very big problem in this episode later. Also, BART is very gross and no one wants to animate that outside of a horror movie.

But at least they didn’t go way out of left field and take the SF trolley. The Caltrain does actually go pretty fast. It...kind of makes sense. They did actual research into a real thing that we do have.

++++END RANT ABOUT THIS TRAIN AND HOW NONE OF THIS EPISODE MAKES SENSE BUT IT’S YUGIOH SO I WILL IGNORE THAT++++

And youknow...there’s something just so adorable about seeing desert mesas reflected in the window of the Caltrain. It’s just delightful. Because, in reality the entire stretch of the Caltrain is very densely suburban/urban, and the only place where it isn’t surrounded by city is when it’s flanked by the sea.

But yeah, just put mesas on it!

*freakin curtains*

Joey and Tristan hit the “dining car,” which I don’t think is a thing in any form of commuter train. These trains are for trips the length of about 1 extensive Puzzles and Dragons session on your phone, give or take.

(And man, speaking of, the Yugioh PAD collab was so good, guys. Ah man. Been wrecking like every dungeon in multiplayer ever since Bro and I both got a Yugi to put as our leader. He’s basically one of the best leaders in the game right now and I feel like people at PAD were huge Yugioh fans because they were like “what if we made...basically every Yugioh pull into a freakin beast that broke every dungeon in the game?”)

I can’t believe Joey Wheeler went thousands of miles from his homeland and was like “I better drink an American soda” and chose Orange. I mean he might be drinking an Arizona Tea, but I’m pretty sure he thought “ah, Kenan and Kel, right?” and just nabbed the nastiest soda that exists outside of grape.

I feel like I can still taste the orange soda I drank over 20 years ago. It is terrible. It is SO orange. Gross. But at the same time...good? I really don't know with Orange Soda. It’s probably gross.

Meanwhile, Tea decides it’s an appropriate time for Yami to work on his social skills. Now. When he’s visibly grieving after being berated by his Basically-Step-Grandfather and Rebecca.

And then we find out something I’ve never realized before, and it’s that Tea is really bad at social cues. Like maybe even worse than Yami. Like, I dunno how Pharaoh could look more like an angry cat/hedgehog but Tea was not picking up on it.

And y’all I’m not making that up, these are the topics Tea actually came up with for the guy who just saw his best friend die/was very implicit in said murder. Beaches and Bathing Suits.

She got over Yugi being dead like immediately.

Of course, this episode is kind of weird because, much like this show has done so many times already, these guys are still struggling to truly understand that Yugi is two people in one body. Tea sort of comes to this realization as if she...forgot that she has stepped inside his actual head and seen this for herself.

Or maybe it’s denial, but I’m thinking maybe the show did this for the new people coming to the show, to explain a rather complicated thing that took 3 seasons to cement in our minds. But still, it makes Tea seem very forgetful over a guy she should sort of be dating I guess.

Anyway it’s their first real fight. Kind of. I mean it’s hard to tell if anyone on this show is dating, and it’s equally hard to tell if they are fighting, too.

Well, first real fight if you don’t count Zero when Yugi tried to make out with Miho over a card duel, but I think we’re all doing our best to forget that ever happened. Yugi especially.

Or I guess that time she strangled him nearly to death in the nurse’s office when Shadi took over his body. That counts as a fight, right?

Ah. Now we’re on Caltrain.

Don’t take it the wrong way, Caltrain is actually our higher end safe train, compared to our other transit, BART, which will always sit you next to a weirdo, guaranteed. Caltrain--you can take a good nap on Caltrain. BART...you will never feel comfortable enough to take a nap on BART (also because there’s not enough seating room anymore)

But a lot of people who take the train are just freakin WEIRD. I used to take the Caltrain with my older brother (different bro than the bro of this blog, this is my chaotic neutral bro) because we both worked near the same place in downtown SF, and he would always take with him--I kid you not--a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Lightning for a snack.

For those not in the States, Mountain Lightning is the offbrand Walmart version of Mountain Dew. Yes. I know what I said. It seems dumbfounding as Mountain Dew is already an off brand of Sprite--the true lemon/lemon lime--but indeed, like Inception, you can always go deeper, and if there is a soda so bewildering and random, my older brother will be ON IT.

Anyways, my older bro is a train weirdo, so not only does he prefer Mountain Lightning to Mountain Dew, he would take out a 2 liter from his backpack, tilt back his head, and just chug the whole thing straight from the huge ass bottle in front of God and everyone on that train.

He’d polish it off completely on the ride there and the ride back, because my older brother has this weird medical problem where he can’t really feel pain and he has an insane metabolism and never gained weight until he was like 32, so he can just...chug as much soda as he freakin wants. So, at some point of the trip he would have to use the very tiny bathroom, and it would be very urgent, and he’d just scramble over me to get to the aisle and then kind of skip and hop all the way there on the rush hour train that was completely full of people.

Like, most people don’t even know that Caltrain has a bathroom--well now you know, and for several years there, it was just always taken by my brother violently pissing. That was us (well...him). My apologies.

In case your curious, now my bro has hardcore acid reflux, and all he needs to do is stop drinking so much damn soda, but it’s been very hard for him, so he has cut back to “diet soda”. This is still a lot of soda and it still causes acid reflux. His doctor is working on him.

And yes, Diet Mountain Lightning exists. That’s just so many steps removed from Sprite at this point.

Anyways, enough waxing long about train memories, lets get back to the show, because it’s not this season of Yugioh until there’s a problem with the commute.

Unrelated to Pharaoh punching the walls, everyone has “disappeared.”

My bro looked up the Wiki that says there's “no explanation for the missing train passengers” but we all know what that really means on this show, right?

So, how many people fit on Caltrain?

There’s just NO WAY they’re alive anymore, right? Like Yugioh went and killed 756 Bay Area passengers because...it’s a filler season!

I really feel like there’s just no way Seto or Bakura will ever catch up to Darts’ death count at this rate.

After this, we have ourselves this fun train-jumping trope.

Pretty sure it was the superhuman opposing force of Tea jumping from the back train to the front of the train that forced the back to lose all of it’s 100+ mph momentum and immediately come to a full and complete stop.

Not sure how Darts did this thing with the train separating. But he did. Or maybe it was Rex and Weevil? Either way, he somehow managed to do this well enough to strand Joey and Tristan on the other side of the line that now has no engine.

(course I say this like in 1400 AD the Bay wasn’t full of the Ohlone. this place was basically always developed because...the weather’s hella good when it’s not on fire.)

Now if you go East--southern Utah looks like this, and parts of me wonder if maybe the artists thought they were taking the train all the way to Florida. Did the English dub add “we’re taking the train to the airport” because they knew there was no one in their right mind in America who would take a California-Florida train?

I have no other explanation for why the Bay Area looks like this, than to assume that this is an alternate California where there never was a Loma Prieta Earthquake and also one where Seto and Pegasus bought out and destroyed both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Which makes Seto and Pegasus sound like just real true heroes, never paving any sort of way for Mark Zuckerberg to happen and unintentionally (or intentionally who knows) screw up our elections.

Or maybe that was entirely Darts? Maybe it was Darts who’s been eating up the Bay, harvesting nerd souls for the leviathan and knowing that no one will miss these Twitter developers if Twitter never happens in the first place. Especially if he’s just ghosting entire Caltrains willy nilly.

But anyway, fun fact about the Caltrain that the creators of this show didn’t know--the train is a push-pull train, so...It has an engine on both sides of the train. Joey and Tristan...still have an engine. It would have never stopped, even with Tea’s incredible backward momentum.

This is normal train stuff and is something you should always assume about a commuter train that cannot afford the time to reattach the locomotive in order to turn around, but we forget about this in TV shows basically all the time.

However, there are fantasy rules that we give to TV that we sort of don’t extend to other places. We suspend our disbelief for things like this train stopping in a track that would, realistically, have another train passing by in 10 minutes anyway. Things like rogue waves that topple over ocean liners. Or CEOs in Silicon Valley who have ass-length blue hair that is tied with one single hair precarious band.

The point at which we no longer can suspend our disbelief when it comes to TV is SO interesting to me. Because I’m fully willing to let go of the fact that Caltrain is A Push-Pull train because it’s still a fun trope although this can never really happen to you on...almost any train at all anymore. But if this were a movie? People would be losing their freakin MINDS. Look what they did after Star Wars. They lost their entire minds over force-field science that doesn’t even exist.

Like, maybe the people who made this episode really do know that San Jose is the 3rd largest city in California, and that this is a push-pull train, and that there are no mesas anywhere near the ocean of San Fransisco. Maybe they did know that--but they decided to suspend our disbelief by pushing this Wild Wild West fantasy aesthetic SO HARD so it makes it believable although this is just...so wrong. Mostly because...it’s fun TV. Not because it makes any sense, but because I would like to have fun instead of thinking.

Which is also how most romance novels work ps. But Yugioh, although *almost* understanding the key ingredient to how romance actually works, I will assume never figures that out.

I hope.

Also, Rex is here.

Bro would like to bring up that Red Eyes is not a rare card in the real world. So Rex is going out of his way to venge a card that costs...$4.50 at Target. That’s less than a meal at McDonalds. This card may have been in a Happy Meal at McDonalds.

*pictured here, the actual canyons of San Jose*

So something that’s interesting between Yami and Joey is that Yami gives in basically immediately and decides to duel Weevil, who would be very easy to just gently push off of this train. Joey on the other hand, looks down at both of his punching fists and is like “why would I bother?”

Not that it mattered, it’s just interesting that even Joey has more restraint than Yami, who has 0 restraint, apparently, when it comes to dueling cards.

Joey has more restraint that Yami, and Joey is the kid who has tried to punch out Seto Kaiba in nearly every conversation he has ever had with Seto Kaiba over the last 4 seasons.

Also, Tea is just standing on top of this train like it’s a completely normal day outside. Girl has no fear.

Wouldn’t these people be covered in bug guts? Like how are they not getting assaulted by so many flies and birds?

But because she has no decent cards the Oricalchos just kicks her out? I dunno. There’s a lot of weird physics in the next scene.

And she just grabs onto a moving train with her bare hands. I feel like Tea is just so woefully overpowered in this group but for the wrong game. I say this a lot. She’s like their One Punch Man but will never, ever know.

So anyway, that was a long time between updates and now I’m out of sync and behind on everything so...hell knows when the next update will be. Depends on the length of episode I guess? Bro really wants to get to what comes next soon though. He’ll pester me until I do it.

Now I can’t mention Mountain Lightning without sharing with you what you do with 2-4 liters of Mountain Lightning after your brother leaves and then just...doesn’t have enough room for all of his Mountain Lightning AND his baby in his car, so he just leaves it in your house.

It’s called Mountain Dew Cake <-(that is a link) and it’s actually pretty damn good.

I made this once and fed it to a British person and they were like “this is so decadent--what’s in this?” and I uh didn’t know how to respond to that other than “it’s really just Mountain Dew, I’m so sorry” and that was a lie, because it was full of Mountain Lightning.

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these recaps in order.

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wolffyluna · 5 years

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TMA Liveblog: Up To Ep 40

I’ve finished season 1! And can I just say: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Edit: I meant to post this yesterday, but apparently this got stuck in my drafts. It’s been freed now, hopefully.)

I’m in an awkward position with this liveblog. You see, I like to write up my thoughts about a few episodes at a time, not one by one. So I had some thoughts and theories relating to Taken Ill and Lost and Found-- that got more or less confirmed by Human Remains. So I don’t get to sound as smart and with it any more. (Also, there’s been so much in these episodes that I might be forgetting to say something.)

The thing that got confirmed by Human Remains was the question of how the Masquerade works in this setting. ...which is actually two questions, really. One: Is the masquerade supernaturally or mundanely enforced or both? That is, is the masquerade enforced by people being supernaturally bad at noticing the supernatural (a lá Changeling the Lost) or by mundane means of tampering with files and shutting up witnesses (a lá Vampire the Masquerade, though there is some supernatural enforcement there too.) Two: How harshly is the Masquerade enforced? Are people who find out about the Masquerade told ‘please don’t spread it, okay?’, or do people get “shut up.”

By Taken Ill, I was pretty sure the Masquerade was at least partially mundanely enforced. Losing ~20 people ‘in the system’ is pretty fucked up, to the point where hiding their deaths is almost less malicious? And if you wanted to cover up a horrific outbreak at a care home-- making the paperwork look like it was decommissioned earlier is not a bad way to do it. (As would be any living casualties having ‘work place accidents’). I wasn’t so sure about how strongly it was enforced, but their definitely seemed to be at least blackmail (for ex in Old Passages)

...and then we found poor old Gertrude. And well. That answers both questions.

(Also, Gertrude might have been working with the Lightless Flame? Or having someone else work it on her? One of the two? Argh?)

I’m worried about real!Sasha. I hope she’s... okay. Going to be okay. Going to be okay as she can be.

I also have precisely zero clue what was going on in Sasha and Elias’ end of the Institute. See, Jon and Martin seem like pretty reliable witnesses. They have no reason to lie. Tim was off his face-- but again, no reason to lie. Elias is evasive and I do not trust him not to lie. And Fake!Sasha is obviously a lying liar who lies? So I have no fucking clue what was going on there, because all the narrators are unreliable and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghh.

(Also can I say I do not trust Elias? He keeps trying to avoid finding or proving the supernatural in a way that is fucking weird.)

Also, uhm, I’m worried about Jon and Tim. ...not just mentally speaking (though I am super worried about that too), but physically speaking? If I have understood the chain of events right, Jon and Tim opened a trapdoor, had a bunch of worms fall on their heads, and then got CO2-ed to heck and back? Like, I’m pretty sure that much CO2 would fuck you up for awhile on it’s own-- but the quarantine was only ~24 hours, which seems alarmingly short? And pretty darn short for the medical treatment they probably need. Like, they had worms burrowing in their flesh? That would be a lot of open wounds, and fairly deep ones too. Do Jon and Tim have enough blood in them? How are their wounds being kept clean? How much antibiotics are they on, and is it enough? Also, what sort of quarantine is only 24 hours, jeegus.

I’m also worried about everyone’s mental states, too. It’s interesting, because we keep seeing people have obsessive, paranoid, unhealthy ways of dealing with fear/danger-- that work because of the danger they are in. Jon’s ‘I have to know EVERYTHING’ may not be working out for him so hot, but it’s not going badly, and Martin hiding fire extinguishers everywhere and the corkscrew actually saved multiple people. But it’s still hurting them, it’s just stopping them from being dead. (Tim’s bizarre chipperness probably also counts as this too, but I can’t put as firm a finger on it.)

I made a comment a little while ago about how I’d avoided The Magnus Archives, because I thought it had a lot of blood and screaming in it, and I don’t do well with those, but it turns out it’s a much more quiet form of horror, and that’s fine with me-- yeah. Was Infestation arguably ‘worth it’? I’d say so. But goddamn. Jeez. No. All you need is fire and it’d be the full Wolffy Nope Trifecta (and I’m going to count the fire alarm for a good portion of the fire nope, because seriously.)

...but honestly “I feel like I’m being watched” was scarier.

Because it is traditional, it is time for some rampant tinfoil hattery: I think Michael Knifehands and the fractal weird shit are connected. Michael Knifehands sounds alarmingly like the person who replaced Graeme, except for being too tall. The thing that came out of the Ming vase is maybe less clearly Michael like, but it’s still a distinct possibility. And on a more tinfoil level: the statements with fractals seem to be the statements were fear of insanity, the fear of ‘reality is falling apart, and I don’t know if it’s just for me or if it’s for everybody, and both are terrifying’ seem to show up in fractal statements (eg Ivo Lensik’s father and Ming vase guy.) If I recall the spoilers I failed to dodge correctly, Michael has something to do with insanity. And on an even more tinfoil hat level: Fake!Sasha seems to only know about Sasha through observation. They kinda skip over details and are vague in odd places that imply it, anyway. Fake!Sasha is hella associated with the fractal table. ...and Fake!Sasha knows who Michael is, which implies either they’ve been watching Sasha for a long time, or they know Michael independently.

Also: Spiders and worms are not only separate things, but they are antagonistic towards each other. A spider is why the Archive team found the worms early than the worms planned.

Is Mikhaele a Michael? Because if there are two Michaels and a Mikhaele: what the heck, real Jon?

Also, I’m really confused by the statements not!Sasha(?) decided to steal. Stealing original!Sasha’s statement makes sense: it contains important information, and it could potentially be used to prove fake!Sasha is fake. But I’m a bit boggled by the calliope organ one being stolen, because it implies it’s important... and really, the calliope one? That’s an important one? Really? ...I’ll admit, part of my bafflement is because I found that episode negative levels of scary, because the morning before I listened to it, I encountered this:

youtube

Which kind of undercut the episode a touch. Just a tad.

And finally, I’m kicking myself a bit. You see, through the first season, I was playing a fun game called “Real Or Not?”, where I tried to guess which episodes contained real events, because maybe some where fake. ...and apparently all or most of the episodes are real. (Or, in universe real. You know what I mean.) We only heard the real ones! Which makes sense from a story telling perspective, but now it means I have to treat all of them as real. I can’t selectively ignore any of them any more. My theories have to be wholly consistent now. Damn!

#premium original content #wolffy listens to tma #the magnus archives

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fearfearer · 4 years

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more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don��t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

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kinetic-elaboration · 6 years

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February 5: Thoughts on The 100 2x03 Reapercussions

I am very tired and I should sleep but instead I’m going to bring my The 100 rewatch project out of hiatus yet again with Episode 2x03: Reapercussions.

I miss Anya so much!!!!! This is mostly my Dichen Lachman obsession showing but also the way she gives Clarke that ‘yeah, whatever’ look when Clarke says she’ll get her out of the cage... your Grounder fave could never.

The show honestly peaked with S2 and after this it should have abandoned all attempts at edginess because nothing will ever be more Pure Nightmare Fuel than the Mount Weather Grounder Cages.

Clarke/Anya: the ship that almost was.

So when Clarke takes Anya out of the prison room, she opens a door that says “End Containment Area” and underneath that it says “U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Mount Weather Containment Protocol.” And people really thought JRoth made this up omg learn some history.

Considering how they left things (Anya literally trying to kill her and all her friends) it’s actually pretty impressively selfless and magnanimous on Clarke’s part to not just rescue her, but immediately and unthinkably rescue her. On the other hand, Anya feels some remorse for leaving her people whereas Clarke’s like ‘here are some clothes [even though those random bandages are holding up pretty well??], let’s get a move on!’ (I know she intended to come back for them and she was being smart and practical but from the pov of, say, Jasper or Monty, this is cold as hell of her.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: early S2 Clarke is Peak Clarke: smart, sly, practical, brave.

Byrne mentions Earth Skills teacher “Davis” as being part of the search team for Bell et. al. My question: how many Earth Skills teachers did they have lol?

I fucking love this crashed-ship aesthetic omg I forget how much I love it and then I see it again....

“On the Ark, you did anything you wanted, without a second thought about the consequences.” Like mother, like daughter.

I ALSO miss Jasper and Maya. I’m probably like the lone person out there who still remembers them fondly but they were basically perfect because they were sweet but with the potential for a lot of darkness as well, my favorite combination.

WHERE’S MY ART SCHOOL JAYA AU?

So actually fun fact, that isn’t how the art work would have been stored in Mount Weather. They had special containers for the paintings to protect them and like a special cart thing to transport them quickly from their old homes to the bunker I read a book.

No one ever characterizes him this way sufficiently imo but Monty is really quite uptight in a way. Like first: don’t cockblock him man. And second: just chilll. This is probably why he used to smoke weed.

“Trouble? It’s Clarke. Whatever she’s up to, I’m sure she can handle it.” I mean.... he’s not wrong.

Except for the part where she’s covered in dead bodies. But even then...

So I always felt like the main point of the Reapers was as kind of a zombie police force for Mount Weather: to keep the Grounders scared of the Mountain, so they won’t poke around in it too much. Though of course they also collect Grounders, which is helpful, since the Mountain Men can’t walk that far from their home base (and, as stated, they probably want to keep most of that area Grounder-free anyway). But it occurs to me now that a third use of the Reapers is like dead-body collectors? The Mountain dumps the dead bodies out the trap door, and the Reapers take them away and eat them. So gross and efficient all at once. Mount Weather’s motto basically.

Murphy and his creating-a-distraction stones are still one of the funniest jokes this show has ever pulled, though if it were a quicker reveal after “something like that” it would be funnier.

Never mind, Bellamy appearing out of the bush is true underrated comedy gold,

That said, I feel like everything outside of the Mount Weather and Clarke stories here is filler.

Love! That! Ship!

Major Byrne says that Kane is on the verge of losing control of the camp but... I dunno.... everyone seems to be working together pretty well? Maybe if they had diversified the cast a little, not in terms of yet more Grounders but, like, non-leaders of the Ark, that would be more clear????

Okay, well, admittedly, when the Grounder prisoner is brought in they do start a mini-mob, lol. Also one of the delinquent’s fathers is shot, it would be cool if we knew who he was?? ETA: and then he dies and Abby’s like “does he have any family?” lol he just said that his son was one of the 100 so like obviously he does??

The costuming people, like the set people, really are the geniuses of this show. I love Clarke and Anya’s outfits, and Clarke’s hair somehow being both grungy and beautiful like THAT’s the apocalypse style I wanna see.

Also they absolutely 100% would have gotten together in the S2-S3 hiatus if Anya hadn’t been killed off.

“You saved my life because you needed me” IS true but she also did it absolutely without hesitation, even knowing Anya really quite truly hates her, so this speaks either to some foolhardy bravery mixed in with her practical thoughts, or just straight compassion, or both. I guess that sort of is a Clarke thing. She can be a grudge holder (seriously don’t tell me she isn’t: Wells????) but her grudges are NEVER more important than hard-nosed practical problem-solving.

Time for some gratuitous torture. Honestly, I like Season 2, it’s probably my favorite season, but it has some MAJOR filler problems. Like when it’s good it’s THE BEST but then other times it just doesn’t know how to fill 40 minutes so it resorts to pointless diversions (like Bellamy rappelling down the side of a mountain to save a character who is literally never seen again? for some reason?) or just straight out ugly violence for screaming’s sake (Raven’s surgery, Raven’s Grounder torture, Abby’s shocklashing, etc.) Like honestly I can’t even watch this. I’m just gonna browse tumblr until it’s done.

The Arkers really like the concept of “confessing” don’t they?

Like okay I’m not done WHAT IS THE POINT of this? It all but kills the whole Kabby vibe (I still lowkey ship them but sometimes I think...why?), it’s truly painful to watch, and it has no plot purpose AT ALL not even world-building because, lol, we know the writers don’t care to flesh out Camp Jaha in any real way.

Murphy is taking such sad glee out of instigating Finn’s madness/violence. The Luci of The 100 for sure.

This Bellamy story line is boring though I’m sorry. Some of these scenes (the Clarke or Mount Weather ones) I could watch a million times but this is like... kay, I know what happens already. So.

“There are some lines you can’t uncross.” I mean I think this show has actually shown that’s pretty untrue since people get over almost everything pretty fast. There’s always another horrific thing to do and/or experience!

Yeah my bitterness is seeping in.

Anyway when you come into an interrogation knowing what the “right” answer is, you’ll never learn anything, take note, stupid teenager boys + U.S. law enforcement.

Like honestly this Grounder is 500000x smarter than they are. He saves himself and rains gunfire and destruction upon his enemies. (Well, saves himself for a few minutes--but at least he got to cause harm to those he hates!)

“You thought I was the crazy one, huh?” Was Murphy ever crazy, though, or was he just coldly vengeful?

Speaking of coldly vengeful, Byrne could have been a potentially interesting character? Maybe? I’m not really into the type but as I said I want more Arkers wherever I can find them. And Kane needs real opposition. I have sympathy for him to a degree, but I also think he ultimately weakens rather than strengthens himself.

I love when Monty calls bullshit on stuff. “I can’t see Clarke? Try and fucking stop me, bitches.”

Jasper has such a big heart. Truly the emotional core of this friendship.

I like how Kane speaks as if his “diplomatic mission” of adults is so vastly different than Bellamy and Finn just going off on their own I mean, Byrne is little better than Finn? They’re both easily frustrated and fond of torture? It’s just that Byrne understands a chain of command--barely--that’s literally it.

How does it make literally any sense at all to shocklash a person one hour and make her the Chancellor the next? Like you’ve just encouraged the populace to think of her as nothing special, not above the embarrassing public application of extreme pain--but yes by all means expect them to fall into line behind her leadership. I mean I guess this sort of works if she was already somehow beloved (I guess I’m supposed to just believe that?) and now more sympathy has been generated for her--but such sympathy would seem to come at the expense of Kane. It would seem to be the opposite of what he, or really Byrne, was going for with that disgusting display. But whatever memory is a fiction I guess.

And they have this swelling-music romantic eye-fuck goodbye like??? He was just beating you!! JUST NOW!

What I’m getting out of Murphy advocating for killing the Grounder: first, he has a clear, cold, practicality not unlike Clarke, and two, he still thinks of the delinquents as his friends--how sweet. Two days ago he was killing them, holding them hostage, and stealing their ammo before a huge battle but still. Bygones.

This is not a great ep. for Bellamy leadership lol.

Finn executes a man, while wearing Clarke’s watch, in the place they had sex. Seems...symbolic?? IDK it’s late lol.

I miss Nyko a lot but also now that I’ve seen (part of) Slasher I’m not entirely sure I can ever see Ty Olsson in the same light.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they were literal brothers? Because I always assumed this was metaphorical but...was it? WAS IT?

Weird note to end on, I know. If patterns hold, it’ll be another 2-3 months before I do this again but I’ll try to be a little more on the ball about it.

#the year 2019 #2019: fandom thoughts #2019: the 100 s2 #the 100 #the 100 rewatch

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tiredpterodactyl · 3 years

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So um i think this is gonna end up being like a therapy session for me and honestly i hope for someone else as well. I don't know if any of you know the show ''sorry for your loss'' -if you don't and want to continue reading i think you should google it and come back here-but I started watching it and it's well, it deals a lot with the subject of grief and people with mental disorders . I am currently on ep 6 and it is actually 1:40 am as I am writing this but this show hit hard for me. I actually have anxiety and some people do not really believe in the, well in the existance of anxiety -and many other mental disorders- and this does indeed bother me sometimes even though i tell myself t shouldn't . So the show deals with stuff like this and also many other situations, it's center however is grief. I haven't lost someone close to me recently but the one person I lost a few years ago still makes me feel as if I haven't mourned enough. For context, I lost my grandma to cancer when I was about 4 or 5 years old. Now a lot of people will argue and say '' how can you talk about this kind of thing when you propably don't even remember all that much''. But here's the thing: my grandma was the center of my world. We all have a special connection with our grandparents that's for sure. I am now 18 years old, so it's been a decade and arond 5 years since my grandma passed away and yet here I am crying because she didin't get to see me graduate high school, or middle school, hell not even kindergarten or see me cry my eyes out when i saw I got in the university I wanted for years. People don't just leave us. No matter how much time passes. I always have the impression she's looking down on me and looking after me just like she used to. It's true I don't remember much anymore, but I still remember her face and the way she used to dress, how she'd console me when I would have a disagreement with my mom and things weren't going my way. I wish she was here. But I can't change the past can I? Well I can do one thing and that is not forget her. And I'm pretty sure I can manage that while I keep missing her. So to anyone out there experiencing a similiar situation: YOU'RE NOT ALONE. No matter how it might seem to you that way.

#sorry for your loss #anxiety #loss #grief #mental health #mental disorder #trigger warning #tw

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robronotics · 7 years

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Post Ep Ponderings Weekly Round-Up February 19-23

What a week! Think I’ll start with Ross.

Well, Ross clearly isn’t dealing with what happened, not that that’s a surprise. You all know I was hoping for months that Robert would have a breakdown (which now seems unnecessary, but I still think could’ve been fun), but apparently it’s Ross that’s going to lose it. I wonder if they’re going to make him lose it in an Emma sort of way. They’re already making him out like he’s the Phantom of the Opera and having him hide away from the pizza guy, why not have him go full crazy? Looks like right now the only person that could possibly help him is Pete, though I don’t know if he’s up to the job. I get that dealing with Ross how he is right now would be beyond difficult, but Pete seems to have no patience. Ross has been out of the hospital a couple of days and Pete’s already all ‘get over it, I’m off to Rhona’s.’ I mean, seriously, that’s barely trying. It’s only going to get worse too because we all know that he’s going to find out that Debbie was behind it, even if the result wasn’t what she intended at all. He’s going to lose his mind when he finds out though.

So, I’m a little confused as to what Joe’s plan is. He seems to be testing Jimmy, though for what I’m not completely sure. Part of it at least I would assume was loyalty, but it seems, I don’t know, less than planned? I don’t know, I really don’t understand this part at all right now, unless Joe knows that Jimmy betrayed him by helping the Dingles rebuild. Jimmy is so going to end up having a heart attack though, brought on by stress on top of his life style. After that small showdown between Joe and Rob over Jimmy’s work though, I kind of want Joe and Rob to butt heads. They could be very interesting foes.

Belle and Lachlan starting a microbrewery... I don’t even know what to say about this except, I kind of hope it works?

What a week for poor Tracy! What a horrible way for your horrible past to come back and bite you in the ass. We all knew Phil was a creeper, but wow, that was excessively creepy. I feel like this isn’t done either. I’m a little worried that Tracy might end up getting charged with prostitution. Is that something that can happen if you’re not doing it anymore and it’s been years if you admit to it? I honestly have no idea how that works in real life, but I can see it being the next bit of drama for them. That or Phil gets off and then tries to get off again. I have to say though, I fucking loved Tracy’s plan to trap Phil. I get why it worried David afterwards because yeah, dude’s nuts and anything could’ve happened, but Tracy really held her own. I cheered quite loudly when she kneed him as well. Mostly I find the story lines written for David and Tracy are pretty boring, but Tracy has been BADASS this week and I loved it. They have to do more stuff like that with her and less David’s still a cheater crap. Even still, I am glad David doesn’t think less of her because what he’s done is far worse in my book.

Well, what a birthday Chas is having! I’m about the same age as her (I think) and if I accidentally got pregnant just before a planned month long trip to Mexico, I would be seriously angry with myself. I do have one question though. How does a 40 year old woman not know more about birth control? If she was 20 years younger, I’d still be a bit suspicious, at least of what kind of sex ed is taught in British schools, but she’s not new to sex or relationships so the accidental pregnancy just feels weird to me. I was in a similar position a few years ago. I hadn’t been able to get my birth control renewed and I had just started dating my boyfriend so we used condoms. Hell, even now that I’m on pills we still use condoms. I’m probably being too harsh, but I just feel like other explanations would’ve been better. Like the condom broke. That’s something that can happen to anyone. Or she didn’t realize she was over due maybe? I don’t know, it just bothered me a bit because Chas usually seems so up on these things to me. Anyway, I kind of hope they have a kid together despite all this.

Poor Liv. I do not blame her in anyway for not forgiving Gabby. Not sure I could. Maybe after years of apologies I would get over it, but I can also hold a pretty good grudge and I suspect Liv is the same way, especially with how bad what Gabby did actually was. I think, even after Liv is over what Gabby did, she will still have a problem trying to be friends again because how could you trust someone who would react that way? Gabby has some serious issues she needs to deal with, that’s for sure. I mean, who semi-permanently writes skank on their best friend’s back and outs them to everyone they know because she got a valentines card from a boy the friend likes. Seriously? I mean, I understand Gabby being upset because of what she thought had happened, but she really went overboard.

On the other hand, Liv apparently can be forgiving because ROBLIVION IS BACK BABY! Once again, another great conversation for Liv and Rob to try and at least start to work things out. I love that Liv was upfront about how much Rob had hurt her too. I’m thinking she really needed to get that off her chest. I also wonder if she has been especially missing him since everything went down with Gabby and how she’s starting wondering why she isn’t attracted to anyone. Rob has talked her through a number of scary situations before and I have to think she’s relieved that she might have him to lean on again. I hope so anyway because I think having two people she trusts that also had serious issues with coming out in different ways and with different experiences will help her greatly.

Finally, Aaron is in for some big trouble with Rob and Liv if their way of pranking him over their relationship is anything to go by.

#emmerdale #are you pondering what I'm pondering?#ross barton #pete barton #jimmy king #joe tate #robert sugden #belle dingle #lachlan white #tracy metcalfe #david metcalfe #chas dingle #paddy kirk #gabby thomas #liv flaherty #aaron dingle #roblivion

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 7th July 2019

I have been cooped up sick for the past week so I am so glad I can have a pretty easy episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS this week, in fact, I have a really easy week ‘cause nothing really happened. I can pretty much play catch-up and that’s been great. I’ve even been more active on Twitter because of it. Anyway, time for another round of relatively family-friendly lame pop music ramblings.

Top 10

“I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber is still at the top spot for its eighth week and its only competition is the five other Ed Sheeran singles from his No. 6 Collaborations Project. Oversaturation is not a word Ed Sheeran understands, and I’ll get back to that when I talk about his second of three songs in the top ten right now.

“Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello is steady at number-two but Thog don’t caare

We have our highest new entry on the chart this week at number-three, the... third newest Ed Sheeran single from the project and by the time you’re probably reading these, fourth-newest (Seriously, Ed’s ran himself into a corner if he wants that mini-album bomb considering by now he should damn well know UK chart rules). It’s “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid, but we’ll talk about it later. It’s Sheeran’s 40th(!) UK Top 40 hit, and 24th Top 10 (That’s a pretty great ratio), and Khalid’s twelfth UK Top 40 as well as his fifth Top 10 (Slightly less great ratio).

Up a single space from the debut last week is “Crown” by Stormzy at number-four.

Unfortunately, that means he brought Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” with him up to number-five.

Oh, hey, it’s Ed Sheeran, I haven’t seen him in two spots. I was starting to worry about him – I mean he might be falling off. Sigh, “Cross Me” featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is down two spaces to number-six. To be fair, I like this song.

“Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus is surprisingly pretty stagnant at number-seven.

Mabel’s “Mad Love” is of course up five spaces to number-eight, and looking like a pretty promising Summer hit, as well as being her third UK Top 10.

“Wish You Well” by Sigala featuring Becky Hill is sadly up three spots to number-nine. It’s Sigala’s seventh UK Top 10 and Hill’s third (second as a credited artist).

Finally, we have the unfortunate rebound for “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi up four spaces back to #10.

Climbers

It’s not all bad though, my favourite song on the chart right now, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey, meets the top 20 at #16, up five from last week, becoming his fourth Top 20 hit. Elsewhere on the chart, “Thiago Silva” with Dave has debuted at #56 despite being three years old because of a crazed fan at Glastonbury rapping the words (near-)perfectly, but that’s not in the top 40, so Alex’s 15 minutes of fame won’t get covered here. Dominic Fike also gets his first top 20 with “3 Nights” up six spots to #20, which is an incredible song too. “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey and Aitch is up five to #22 and “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy is also venturing up the charts, specifically seven spots, at #26. “Find U Again” by Mark Ronson featuring Camila Cabello is up six to #31 off the debut and “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy has a chance at a second wind up five to #34. Wow, these are all great songs. Sure, there’s nothing promising in the new arrivals really, and we can safely ignore “Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus getting a video push up seven placements to #33, but this Summer has some pretty great hits so far and I’m glad it does because otherwise my end-of-year lists would be dry as hell.

Fallers

Most of these fallers this week are also pretty bad songs so it seems to me that the rubbish we kept in Spring is slowly being pushed out finally, as well as some unfortunate losses and songs that debuted high but collapsed afterwards. That last category includes songs like “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift down five to #15, “Bounce Back” by Little Mix down eight to #25 and “Mocking It” by JAY1 down eight to #27 off the debut despite an EP release. “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer stops wasting everyone’s time with its sloppy Nine Inch Nails sample down six to #37. Stormzy’s streaming cuts have finally cut the power of “Vossi Bop”, however, which is a great song, down a whopping 11 spaces, but thankfully only to #14, and the pretty good “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone featuring Aitch is down 10 off of the disproportionally high debut considering both artists’ current popularity last week to #30.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

My only response to this first drop-out is ferocious laughter, as Taylor Swift’s “ME!” featuring Panic! at the Disco has dropped out from #30 after a mere nine weeks on the chart and never hitting #1 or even #2, with a flailing single barely on the charts to save her album release from completely going under. In terms of other drop-outs, there really aren’t any to speak of, except more ferocious laughter, as “MEGATRON” by Nicki Minaj drops out from #34, which was its DEBUT. This means it’s below both “Shotgun” by George Ezra (A song that’s been in the top 75 for 67 weeks), “Thiago Silva” and freakin’ “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers (Which also re-entered outside of the top 40 because of Glastonbury)! Otherwise, we have some drop outs for UK hip-hop, as “Mr Sheeen” by Russ splash and Digga D is out from the debut at #28, and “Shine Girl” by MoStack featuring Stormzy is out from #36. They’re both not particularly great songs, but they had some promise.

We have one returning entry for once, which is “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man to #40 after it dropped out from that exact space two weeks ago. Sure.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Higher Love” – Kygo and Whitney Houston

Produced by Kygo and Narada Michael Walden – Peaked at #2 in Norway and #63 in the US

So, Whitney Houston was an incredible singer and sadly passed away at age 48 in February 2012, after a decades-long career being wrapped up in personal struggles that soon overshadowed her music, especially her marriage with Bobby Brown, cocaine usage, but still eleven Hot 100 number-ones to her name, including some of the most iconic hit songs of all time such as “I Will Always Love You”, and the novelty of being one of, if not the, first African-American female singer to appear on MTV. You all know that. Posthumous releases have been few and far between, mostly consisting of cash-grab compilation albums, reissues and box sets, but there have been four posthumous releases as singles before this, most of which are just from a movie she starred in before she died, including duets with Jordin Sparks and... R. Kelly. Huh. None of them charted, then in 2016, some Malaysian dude sampled her in a cover of a mid-1960s progressive rock song... and that leads to this. I feel I should clarify that this is a Steve Winwood cover (Mostly because he and his co-writer are getting all of the royalties off of this, not even Kygo is credited as a songwriter), since this was his first #1, featuring (uncredited) vocals from Chaka Khan, from 1986, but then Whitney Houston covered it in 1990 for the deluxe Japanese version of her third album (Which explains the Walden guy’s production credit). Somehow, Kygo found the isolated vocals for this deluxe Japanese bonus track (We needed that dude on the Clockman search, I swear – or maybe he just has trunkloads of money) and made it a tropical house song, and it’s actually pretty good.

This is Houston’s 32nd(!) UK Top 40 hit and Kygo’s eighth, and it has no right to be this good. You’d think Whitney wouldn’t be putting this much effort into a Japanese bonus track, but her vocals don’t sound strained or tired here, they’re just as beautiful as her biggest hits, you’d think she was planning for a single release. The lyrical content isn’t anything special but with the grandiosity of the piano and trumpets that build up to a relaxed vocaloid drop that seems anti-climactic until it hits you again with a much more epic drop, you can really feel how desperate Whitney is in the lyrics, even when mangled to hell and back in the vocal fragments. I have nothing to talk about with this song really, and it may be a tad overlong for my taste, but this is decent, especially considering Kygo’s recent efforts and this being a tropical house remix of a Steve Winwood cover that was released exclusively to Japan in 1990 – you wouldn’t expect quality out of this, let alone choir vocals in the second drop that really make the song feel pretty religious for... no reason, but I guess Winwood’s song was always up for interpretation and he must have given this the thumbs-up at the time. The dude’s never going to complain about free royalties from some EDM DJ, he didn’t back in 2004 when Eric Prydz did it.. which, by the way, had a video that even the Prime Minister at the time admitted to being aroused to—okay, why is Steve Winwood the person who I found the most interesting here? It’s a good song, let’s leave it at that before I go on an essay-length ramble about Steve Winwood, Tony Blair and Japanese Whitney Houston songs.

#29 – “Don’t Check on Me” – Chris Brown featuring Justin Bieber and Ink

Produced by Sheldon Ferguson – Peaked at #13 in New Zealand and #67 in the US

Alright, so, yeah, I’ve used all of my energy up for that first song because I have nothing to talk about for this one or the song afterwards. It’s Brown’s 36th Top 40 hit here in the UK, which is about 35 too many (Yeah, I liked his last one, “No Guidance” featuring Drake, and I’m not exactly proud to say that). It’s Bieber’s 45th (Holy moly) and this Ink woman’s first, mostly because she has never released solo material and doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Ink sounds good on the song, but Bieber’s boring as he always is and Brown��s vocals are incredibly overproduced, especially for this tone of song. In fact, I’m not going to go in any more depth than I need to, and just leave you with this. This song is a stripped-down acoustic ballad fronted by Chris Brown. That’s all you need to know.

#3 – “Beautiful People” – Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid

Produced by Ed Sheeran, Max Martin, Shellback, Fred Gibson and Alex Gibson (Did this song really need this many producers?) – Peaked at #2 in Ireland and Slovakia, and #26 in the US

I always feel like the highest debuts each week are the ones I have the least to say about, but maybe that’s because I’ve heard discourse about them all week and I don’t care for them enough to go on about how the new Taylor Swift song misses the point of Pride Month or how Chris Brown is an abuser who made up with Drake after a year-long fued that ended anti-climactically, or how Lewis Capaldi makes me want to eat Kermit the Frog’s insides. This song I’ve seen little to no discourse on however, and that’s pretty telling when all is considered, considering these guys are the two biggest male singer-songwriters out right now, but I think maybe that’s because the song has little to no discourse to be provoked from it. I mean, the lyrical content is interesting, mostly because it’s about how Sheeran and Khalid don’t want to become have their perspective on life clouded by the money and fame... which is very convenient for these guys since that’s their whole appeal – they’re down-to-earth lads who sing over a couple guitar&B instrumentals despite being some of the richest entertainers on Earth, and while nothing can really tell me otherwise that these guys are genuine, I can’t help but to think the lyrics are less of a genuine message and more just fitting in line with the public appearances they’ve established for themselves over the past decade. It doesn’t help that the overproduced instrumental is stodgy and cluttered with nasal vocal samples over some fake handclaps, bumping 808s and... chanting vocals? Also, I’m pretty sure that Fred Gibson guy snuck his “Fred again” tag into this song as well, during a really janky part in the first verse? That means there are two Ed Sheeran songs with a producer tag. Huh, at least this one doesn’t have a PNB Rock verse. The hook is catchy but it breaks momentum with the post-chorus chanting that’s just dumb as hell, and I’m pretty underwhelmed with Khalid in comparison to Ed here, where it would usually be a complete wash, but I’m pretty sure that’s because Khalid doesn’t care enough about perpetuating Ed Sheeran’s image of “Haha, I don’t fit in with the current pop scene of flashy clothes and extravagant music videos!” First of all, that isn’t the current pop scene at all, it was in 2013 when Ed came on the scene but that has switched entirely, mostly to his benefit, and second of all, I’m sure Khalid has no issue at all with wearing a suit to a couple awards shows. He’s barely in his 20s for goodness’ sake.

EDIT: “I Don’t Care” does not have the “Fred again” tag. “Cross Me” still does, but I’m just glad Fred Gibson hasn’t put his claws on everything he touches.

Conclusion

What a shoddy week. Uh, Best of the Week goes to Kygo and Whitney Houston for “Higher Love” and while “Don’t Check on Me” isn’t really worthy of my commentary, I honestly think “Beautiful People” annoys me more, so sadly I’ll have to give Worst of the Week to Ed Sheeran and Khalid. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

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circlesandsoundwaves · 7 years

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“It was just such an unreal experience.”- Interview with Old Notes

Old Notes are an emo band that call Rancho Cucamonga- a small city about 40 miles east of Los Angeles- their home. Vocalist/ guitarist Devin Trott says that he, drummer Eli Martinez, and bassist Justin Marquezall grew up listening to bands like blink-182, but bonded over a shared love of bands like Tiny Moving Parts and Snowing that came up out of the Midwest emo revival.

It wasn’t just the style of music that Trott was inspired by; seeing artists coming from a small scale and getting big ignited a spark and he thought “Oh man, I could do that." While he’s been playing music for years, Old Notes is his first effort as a songwriter and lyricist, and their 2016 debut EP Former Self is crushingly honest.

Old Notes recently wrapped up a tour with fellow Californians Andy’s Room, and I spoke with Devin before the last show in Phoenix, Arizona. Read on for the interview, where we talked about the tour, the band’s new single “Rocco”, and what’s next!

C&S: For the record, can you state your name, what you play in Old Notes, and a fun fact about yourself please?

Devin Trott: My name's Devin Trott and I play guitar and sing in Old Notes and I have a maple leaf tattooed on my left calf, so I guess that's pretty interesting.

C&S: You put out an EP about a year ago, Former Self. From the very first song, "Urn", all the way through the EP, everything is so direct and honest about your feelings and whatever you're experiencing. Is this your first band, was that your first time writing songs, or had you been making music for a while already?

DT: I've been making music since I was 12 but this is the first time that I've actually written lyrics and concepts for an album. This is the first time that I've done it for real and actually wanted to put it out and share it with the world.

A lot of the songs are really self-reflective of my time in Flagstaff, Arizona when I went to Northern Arizona University. The whole idea of Former Self is that who I was when I turned 18 until I was about 20, and all the experiences that I had in Flagstaff Arizona- like that whole growing period of living on your own for the first time and intermingling with people with no safety net- college can be a mess for sure and that's where one of the songs came from.

C&S: So you've been making music to whatever degree for a while, but how did you know that it was time to do something for real and put it out in the world?

DT: I was playing in a lot of different bands as a guitar player and expressing myself in that way. When I was at NAU, there wasn't really any music going on- I wasn't in a band or anything. I knew that I really needed that, so I actually transferred schools to go back to California to my hometown. I got back with my old band from when I was in high school and that got old, doing the same thing over and over again.

I was really inspired by the Midwest emo revival and a lot of the bands that were coming out of that scene- that was really inspiring to watch. It was the first time I discovered DIY and what that meant. [Going to] DIY shows… triggered me to immediately go out and start making my own music. I bought recording software so that I could write demos in my bedroom.

That's where a lot of the first Old Notes songs came out of- sitting down by myself for the first time and really composing a song from scratch. I think because of that I grew a lot as a musician and I felt so confident in the songs that I was able to get people together and I wanted to play in a band. [Laughs.] Put it out to the world.

C&S: I saw another interview where you said that you really like Tiny Moving Parts- a couple years ago, Tiny Moving Parts was playing basement shows. It sounds like seeing bands that came from DIY culture made it feel accessible and real- that this is a thing you could actually do.

DT: Oh yeah, definitely. That is exactly what happened. I had been following Tiny Moving Parts for a little bit online and I saw that they were playing this warehouse in Pomona, which is really close to Rancho, with Modern Baseball. I had never heard of Modern Baseball before but obviously, now Modern Baseball's huge. People were going crazy and singing along to their songs and I was the only guy singing along to all the Tiny Moving Parts songs. It was crazy to see this all happening at such a small scale, now looking at how huge these bands are. It definitely became accessible to me- like "Oh man, I could do that."

Right now, we're on this tour with Andy's Room, and we did it. We were able to play houses and warehouses; we played a basement in Colorado that was super fun. It was just such an unreal experience. I remember when I saw that show at VLHS, which is that warehouse in Pomona, it was like- that was it. "I need to do that. I wanna be part of this."

C&S: Outside of the fact that you play these shows, do you feel pretty involved and connected with the "DIY Community"?

DT: I feel like I was more connected a year ago. You know, I think life got really busy- I just graduated college, I [was] doing my senior project, I was working a bunch, and I guess there was less time to go to shows. And also I started booking my own shows and we started playing a lot of shows. In that extent, we're playing a lot of shows that are DIY centric- warehouses in LA and all that stuff- but I wouldn't say I'm very involved or a key figure of the DIY scene, really.

C&S: How did the band actually form?

DT: Eli, the drummer, was in this program called Honor Jazz Band when we were in high school. They take players from each school in a district and put them together and I was chosen to play jazz guitar for that band. [Eli] and I bonded over playing, you know, blink-182 songs or "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne.

After that we kept in touch. I had all these demos- I was trying out different musicians and him and I really clicked when it came to what style of music we wanted to go to. We both evolved musically. We both loved blink-182 but then we also started getting really in to all these Midwest emo bands like Snowing, Tiny Moving Parts, that whole scene.

Then Eli met Justin, our bass player, through drum corps- winter drum line- at RCC [Riverside Community College]- and it's a really renowned program over here. They really hit it off so we brought Justin in to play bass. We were gonna try to get another guitar player but it never really worked out so we stayed a three piece and have been writing music ever since then.

At the beginning of the band, we were taking demos that I was writing and working around them. We've been a band for a little bit over a year now, we've been able to write a lot of songs together, so I guess the writing style's changed completely which is really cool.

C&S: Why do you think that is? Do you feel like the way you express yourself in songs has that changed?

DT: Oh yeah, definitely. Topic-wise it's no longer really about issues of growing up, now it's more of like, "What the hell am I doing with my life?", "What is going on?- I'm not satisfied ever but I'm also scared." Then there's also serious topics about you know, abusive relationships that each of us have been in, or writing about suicide from a different perspective, you know- certain topics like that, and we've collaborated on lyrics a lot and a lot of music so it's really come together differently.

C&S: You guys just put out a song called "Rocco"; what can you tell me about the song and where that came from?

DT: Yeah. We'd been writing the music to that song for a couple weeks. Unfortunately my bird Rocco passed away and I think that's what made the lyrics flow naturally on that one. It was just a really terrible time- if you've ever lost a pet, you know exactly what that's like. It's a terrible experience. I had Rocco for thirteen years- I grew up with him, so it was really hard.

C&S: Right on. So you're currently on tour with Andy's Room; how has the tour been going?

DT: The tour has been going really good! We had a few blunders here and there- Andy's Room lost their guitarist like three days into the tour…. They had been playing as a three-piece and actually tonight I'm gonna be filling in for them on guitar. I've been able to hang out with them for the past few days and learn their songs. I felt bad for those guys- they worked really hard, they put out an EP and then it just kind of all fell apart quickly.

The tour other than that has been great. We've been meeting a lot of great people, people have been offering their houses to us and [we've had] really good networking opportunities. It's been hot as hell here in Phoenix- and really cool in other places.

C&S: When you have super long drives on tour, what do you do to pass time in the van? Are you always sleeping when you have a long drive?

DT: Everybody has a different way of coping with it. I don't sleep in cars that often. When I do, it's awful; I get really bad neck pain. Everybody seems to sleep really well in cars and I just don't. I'm usually on my phone or up front talking with the driver. We are fortunate enough to have a tour manager and photographer who's been doing all of our media for us- Lauren's been such a wonderful asset to this whole thing. She's really kept us together and kept us from, like, murdering each other, which has been really good.

C&S: Today is the last show of the tour- what are you guys gonna be up to after this? What's next?

DT: We really wanna record the songs that we have- but right now we're having a little issue cuz our main sound engineer that records all our stuff is moving to New York at the end of August. We were gonna do a ten song album but now it's looking like we might do a five song EP or something. We have a few shows lined up, not confirmed yet, and other than that, we're just trying to get new music out as soon as possible.

C&S: Something that I always like to ask when I interview bands- how do you respond to haters or any kind of negativity surrounding your band?

DT: I think it's kind of humbling to have people that don't like us, honestly.

C&S: How so?

DT: I think after a while when you hear people constantly saying, "You guys are so good" and then sometimes you hear people say, "I don't know, I really don't like that band"- I think it's kinda nice that there's some real people out there, you wanna get real opinions from people. We had someone call us mediocre before and in my head I'm just like, "Oh well I worked really hard, so whatever"- it's not for everyone.

We got some album reviews of Former Self that were like, "Oh the vocals are super whiny, but it's an emo record"- and I was just like, "Well, yeah. That kinda hits it on the money." I'm very whiney vocally and not everyone's gonna like it.

C&S: I mean... you're in an emo band- what do they expect?

DT: Yeah, exactly.

C&S: Well cool! So you talked about some possible recording, some other shows TBA; is there anything else that people should be on the lookout for or anything else you want people to know?

DT: I want them to listen to our new song "Rocco" and share it around and add it to their Spotify playlists. Look out for new music from us.

Thanks Devin! Keep up with Old Notes on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Listen to “Rocco” and Former Self on BandCamp.

#interview #molly #old notes #tiny moving parts #snowing #blink-182 #diy #emo #poppunk #music #music blog #lauren schorr #devin trott #eli martinez #justin marquez

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home-working · 6 years

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Powerlunching with Mary Dauterman

I’d normally avoid posting two interviews in a row, but honestly my life is a bore, and this one’s been burning a hole in my e-pocket for over a month, so why not!? Happy March, y’all!

I met Mary when my friend Jackie invited us to a friendly lady dinner because we all had a background in advertising, and when Jackie moved away, Mary and I kept hanging out due to us both being art director-types that like graphic novels and are into doing funny projects. Mary has great glasses and is both younger than me and has some legit awards/recognitions under her belt (Young Guns, anyone?), so if she wasn’t so damn nice and creative, I would probably have to claw her face off (because women can’t be happy for each other’s successes, of course). Every once in a while we meet up to work from home together, brainstorm ideas, or just hang out; a little while ago we met for lunch at baba cool to do just that!

(This is also the first interview I’ve done in person instead of via emailed questions, so like, please bask in its authenticity and the novel way I can ask follow-up questions.)

What’s your full name? My full name is Mary Margaret Dauterman.

And where are you from originally? I’m from Dallas, Texas.

What do you do for a living? I’m a freelance art director and director, and I do lots of crafts and stuff I guess.

Where did you go to school? I went to University of Texas, it was in-state tuition, and I have no loans, so that’s great.

What’s in-state tuition? Because I’m from Texas, it was super cheap. But it was a pretty good school, and I got to live in Austin, and I love Austin. I was majoring in straight-up advertising, but in year 2 I found out there was a creative sequence you could apply to, so I got into that program and we made fake ads for 2 years, so I had a fake ad portfolio to get other jobs. That’s a thing only University of Texas has that was purely lucky.

Do you have a bachelor? Yeah, I have a BS.

HAHAHA… so advertising is sciences? I took so much biology and I thought I had every dramatic disease cause that’s all I was learning. I was like, I definitely have Marfan syndrome. It’s tall people who are near-sighted and have very long limbs and oversized hearts and a lot of them drop dead in their early 30s. The case study was this woman named Flo Hyman who was a volleyball player, and they think Abraham Lincoln had it, too.

Marfan syndrome!

I know you’ve done a lot of non-client side projects, can you tell me about them? I do so much non-client work. I just made a video about an influencer who shits her pants. I have written and illustrated two books. I made a tortilla towel a few years ago. I guess I made more web-based stuff at first; I made an awards show for gifs when I lived in California.

Do you code? No, not at all. That one, I had the idea at work and so there was a web developer who made it with my photoshop files. I’ve made a few tiny sites that I’ve made [my boyfriend] Kirill code, like yulebra.com. It’s just like a yule log, but a bra was burnt.

How do you find the time to do self-directed projects in between client work? I guess now I’m trying to figure out the best way to do it. Now I’m really excited when I have downtime in between clients, when before I used to be mad stressed [about money]; you just don’t know what’s going to happen. And then if you’re making an expensive project you’re like, I need money for my project. But now I’m psyched about my downtime cause I can focus on my weird shit. If I get obsessive about an idea I just want to work on it all the time, just literally squeezing it in any time I don’t have to respond to other stuff. I’m a big old dork and I like working.

How do you negotiate work or rates as a woman? The best thing is to keep it all in email, which I’ve actually been told not to do, but you can be as emotionless as possible and just send the info without making it about the fact that you’re a woman. Give yourself an hour to respond so you can think about it before you send something. Every time I send something out of anxiety it’s bad. Be a slower emailer!

So you work from home a lot of the time. I know you were in agencies before, so how did you make the transition? My first freelance gig was in Portland, and every time they’ve hired me since they ask if I can come out there. Sometimes I’m like, “Sure”, and other times I’m like, “I don’t want to come live there for 3 months again, that was intense, and my life is in New York”. So for them I work remotely a lot. And then a couple of places here, I’ve said, “Hey if we don’t have meetings, I can just work from home”, and they’re cool with it. The best way to do it is to have a client that is nowhere near you so there’s no way to go into an office.

How do you find clients? Do they come to you? Mostly the places I freelance for had recruiters that reached out to me asking for me to become full time and I said, "No, but I will freelance for you”. So that’s how it’s happened a lot. Sometimes, since I’ve worked at so many big agencies, all the people I’ve met there have dispersed and will sometimes reach out or I’ll bug them and find gigs.

What would your dream job be? I think in terms of lifestyle, I like my [current] lifestyle, it’s great. Project-wise, I’m wanting to do more short films, so I’m planning on that. But it would be such a dream if someone else paid for that, not me.

I’m pretty certain I want to focus on directing but the aesthetics of things are still very important [to me], that’s part of why I like [self-producing projects], cause it’s all that stuff at once. I’m thinking I want to be directing commercials and then getting to do passion projects with that funding, but if there was no financial concern, it would be cool to just be directing movies… but that’s like, NOT REAL, haha.

But probably [my dream job is] no real job. Just lots of things at once.

In regards to working at home, what do you find yourself wearing? Well I only have one pair of sweatpants. I’m looking for recommendations for a second.

I was in UNIQLO recently and I’m considering getting a pair. I know we’re both kind of tall, and you’re taller than me, but I have a hard time finding sweatpants that are long enough. Long sweatpants are important. I bought some online and they had a drop crotch and I’m like, this isn’t going to work, even if no one’s ever going to see me. Just, no.

I also hate the ones that are low-rise. I need a high-rise on my sweatpants! You want to be cozy!

Do you wear them everyday? Lately, embarrassingly yes; sometimes leggings, sometimes I will put on comfy jeans. My boyfriend was making fun of me because sometimes I will get dressed from the waist up because I have video calls, but sometimes it’s literally the t-shirt I slept in the night before and then I’ll put on pants.

What’s your favourite thing to eat when you’re working from home? I’ve basically been trying to recreate sweetgreen bowls. I’ve been doing lots of stir fried veggies and grains and stuff, which would be $15 if I weren’t at home.

What’s the most shameful thing you eat? I eat handfuls of chocolate chips a lot. I went through a phase where I was just making myself a giant grilled cheese every single day, and then I was like, Why do I feel horrible?! It’s so delicious! Actually no, I take that back; the most shameful thing is when I just Seamless something to my house when I have plenty of time to cook.

How does your boyfriend like living with someone who works from home? Recently I was bragging to someone about how I was really clean, and [my boyfriend] was like, “Uh NO, sometimes I come home from work and wonder, what the hell happened in here?!” If I’m intensely in a project I will still cook myself lunch and then just leave everything out, which is gross.

I get that, you don’t want to spend your precious time cleaning. You’re like, Huuuhhhh I have a deadline!!

What do you listen to when you work? Sometimes I watch movies when I’m working if it’s something mindless. I listen to podcasts and recently I’ve been listening to lots of classical music but it kind of makes me feel like I’m a serial killer plotting a murder.

How do you practice self-care* and work/life balance? Well I just came from the gym. I have 2 gym classes I really like going to but I can only go to them if I’m working from home because they’re at 10am on weekdays. And I’m like, who are all the other people in here?! They’re packed classes!

I think a lot of people either work in the service industry at night, or they’re like us, or maybe they’re housewives? I think at the Park Slope location, all housewives. And there’s always one 40-50yr old guy in this one pilates class I take and I decided he just sold a bajillion dollar company, that’s his deal. Although he would probably go to Equinox if that’s his story, not Crunch. So I dunno what he does.

Do you have any weird skills or talents I don’t know about? I should be talented but I’m not. I took piano until I was 18 but I am not good at it.

Anything else you want to plug while you’re here? I recommend getting a cat while you work from home. It makes you feel less alone, even if they’re passed out asleep. [My cats are] Lemon, from Liz Lemon, and Bobby, after Bobby Hill. Lemon loves conference calls and she comes running and sits on my lap during them which is really nice.

Mary with Bobby, last August

Are there any tv shows or books you're really into right now?* Ooh ok I JUST binged all of Russian Doll in one day and I'm pretty sure I loved it. I'm also always re-watching old eps of King of the Hill and X-Files. I'm currently reading The Road Through the Wall by Shirley Jackson. I'm really into the graphic novel Beverly and got Sabrina by Nick Drnaso (your suggestion!). It was DARK and sad and good.

What are you wearing? I’m wearing a sweatshirt that is red, a shirt that I sleep in a lot, and leggings that I think are my mom’s, and some Nikes, and a coat. I’m *so* glad this is my outfit for our interview, but it’s pretty accurate.

*Shoutout to Chanice Hughes-Greenberg and her inspiring bi-monthly interview newsletter Who Is She, who I blatantly stole these great questions from. Subscribe!

#cats #tortilla towel #advertising #chocolate chips #art director #marfan syndrome #sweatpants

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dwtsfun · 7 years

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Dancing with the Stars Season 24 Week 9: Yep. That Happened

*slow claps* Let’s give it up for this show completely and totally stooping to a new low. Wow. You really needed Simone gone so much that you went through all of that last week to get her down and then backpedaled this week and then had those same judges that were extremely critical of her last week, feign shock and pull out these looks of horror that she actually was eliminated this week. Wow. I’m impressed by how low this was. I didn’t think they could get any lower. But they prove it to me time and time again that they can. Those producers knew what they were doing. That EP was in Tom’s ear and told him to ask Simone why she didn’t look happy. Oh they knew what they were doing. And you can’t tell me that the judges lack so much self awareness that they don’t understand the damage that their comments can do. You can’t tell me that all four of them are that stupid. CAI? Maybe. But the other three? Julianne was a former pro. She knows this game and has been on the other end many times. Her brother and friend were on the other end. You can’t tell me that she doesn’t understand the weight that their comments hold. You cannot get me to believe that this was shocking to them. You just can’t. They wanted a reaction out of Simone last week. They wanted one that would finish her off. That’s why the producer asked that question after the first dance. It wasn’t enough to hear CAI complain about her being too on beat and too perfect and not smiling enough while just saying previously that she was smiling too much. You had to tell your host that she didn’t look happy (meaning ask about it) and ask her why she wasn’t after those “compliments”. And they got the soundbite that they wanted. They got it. Remember when I told you all that racism would play a role in why both Normani and Simone couldn’t make the finals? Well, there it is. That was a nice and healthy dose of misogynoir for ya right there. And it was led by TPTB and the judges. Also remember when I said that Mandy Moore’s stupid comment about emotion was gonna haunt them? Welp, there you go. If you’re wondering how and why Simone got eliminated, there it is. In fact, I’ll bold those few sentences for you all. Now let’s get into the rest of this even though I really don’t want to.

Judges’ Challenge (I really don’t understand why this was a thing)

Normani and Val- Viennese Waltz (Score=36)- So this dance was a perfect example of what not learning the basics can do to you in the later stages of the competition. I think that most of these issues that Normani had could have been sorted out 6 weeks ago, had her pro given her way more content in her ballroom dances and made sure that they did more than two bars in hold for each dance. She was not comfortable at all dancing with Val. Something that Simone, Rashad and David had no difficulty with. All I could do was shake my head. The judges did her a disservice all season long by not properly critiquing them. This Viennese waltz could have been great. But there were a lot of issues with it. That prevented it. I’m surprised they actually scored her the way they should have been all season versus throwing 10s at her for 4 weeks straight.

David and Lindsay- Foxtrot (Score=34)- This was a really good dance. I was surprised at how much David improved from just last week. Up until this point, I thought it was his best dance. Julianne had the right idea by making him focus so much on getting his butt under. Yes, he had some technical issues and his butt still needs to be tucked in a little bit (even though he can’t help that he has a big butt). But it was fun, a major improvement and he did some pretty neat moves.

Simone and Sasha- Jive (Score=40)- I don’t really think Simone did all that much different in terms of emotion or whatever the heck CAI was working on her with. I mean it’s a jive. What kind of depth can you show? Now I will say that maybe Sasha’s choreography was a little better this week, but I don’t think Simone’s performance quality changed all that much. She let loose a little bit more but I think that probably had more to do with her trying to prove herself and being a bit upset than CAI coming in and working with her. Anyway, I thought the dance was great. Simone did a great job and hit everything perfectly. She deserved that perfect score (even though she should have gotten one long before week 9).

Rashad and Emma- Rumba (Score=38)- I am really mad that they cannot seem to get a perfect score. This was perfect. The fact that Len keeps harping on feet problems that aren’t even really a big deal at this point makes me mad. I looked at his feet. They were no worse than other men that he’s given 10s. And I don’t understand why CAI gave him a 9 either. Makes no sense to me. But whatever.

Round Two

Normani and Val- Lindy Hop…I mean Jazz (Score=40)- So many of us predicted that this was gonna be a 40 once we learned that she got it. Regardless of what she did, it was gonna be a 40. And it was a good dance. But I mean that wasn’t a jazz. It was a Lindy hop. See what we mean when we say that jazz is just another way to do a freestyle well before the freestyle round and get a good score. You see why that’s a problem? Especially in a semi-final when everyone else has difficult Latin and ballroom dances with rules that are enforced. With jazz, you can do whatever you want and get a good score just for showing up and looking alert. And look. She’s the only person to get a salsa (very relaxed rules), Argentine tango (lifts are allowed and is typically is a high scoring dance), contemporary and jazz. No one else had that luxury this season.

David and Lindsay- Tango (Score=36)- This was David’s best dance ever. I am not sure where this came from, but he came alive and showed everyone that still had doubts, that he deserved his place in the semis. He had so much attack but he was also very controlled. His posture and frame were great. His technique was good. His butt was under. Everything came together perfectly for this dance. I wish they had been rewarded with at least one 10. Oh and CAI conveniently pulls out the lift police this week even though they were suspiciously silent during Normani’s jive last week.

Simone and Sasha- Rumba (Score=40)- I loved this dance. At first I was a little bit scared because I was thinking Sasha had put too many contemporary-esque moves in and not enough rumba basic steps. But as the dance went on, they really went into the rumba and I enjoyed it. I thought the hip action was there, the connection was great, the performance was great and the technique was, as always, flawless. I’m glad Simone got to go out on a good note. Last week was treacherous and I know this won’t really make up for it. But, at least she didn’t get the same treatment that Bonner did (which I’m still disgusted by). Sad that I have to even worry about stars getting treated like garbage on their way out now.

Rashad and Emma- Quickstep (Score=39)- I want to fight Len. I don’t care if he’s 70. He’s pissed me off all season. I didn’t get a chance to see the critiques for this dance because I had to go take a movie back for my mom and Quantico was on when I got back. I didn’t wanna stop that to finish the show, because I mean Quantico is better. So my question why did he withhold the 10 this time? What was the issue? Was it the fact that they broke hold in the middle of the dance? Because at this point, with the amount of crap they have let one couple slide with this season, that didn’t bother me. Was it his feet again? Something tells me that it was. And I’m so irritated. Whatever. It was one of my favorites of the night.

So that’s it. We all know Simone and Sasha were eliminated. And I’m still mad over that. And I’m even more mad at the judges acting like it’s our fault. Nope. Not at all. This falls all on your shoulders. And I hope they have issues sleeping because of it. I hope they’re haunted by it. I don’t care if that sounds mean. They shouldn’t have ripped a 20 year old apart for stupid things. But the show will look back on this moment in about a year and a half. They’ll realize that this is where they finally shot themselves in the foot. I don’t know how the come back from this season. They’re already having issues casting celebs. And when you have 6 celebs talk about bad experiences on the show, including Simone Biles, I don’t see how that invites people to come on. In fact, all it does is scare people off. So yeah, when you start seeing celebs like one of the guys from LMNT, and one of the stars from Naturally Sadie, remember this season and what happened. That will explain why no one of importance wants to come on.

#dancing with the stars #DWTS #simone biles #Rashad Jennings #Normani Kordei #david ross #lindsay arnold #val chmerkovskiy #emma slater #sasha farber #Viennese Waltz #foxtrot #jive #Rumba #jazz #tango #quickstep #Season 24

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ruinitpop · 4 years

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2500+ mostly unedited words on why I love Simple Plan

Here we go, I’ll try not to ruin it:

Come with me back to my childhood. Far enough back that you might not remember when you first saw something that is extremely important to you, for me apparently that’s 2002. The live-action adaptation Scooby-Doo comes out that summer and it has what I like to call “kick ASS pop-punk soundtrack”. I remember liking the movie so much that my friends and I definitely tried to reenact the entire thing on the playground one day. Anyway, Simple Plan had a song on the soundtrack, It was Grow Up and it plays over an establishing shot of Spooky Island. Yes, I’ve seen the movie several times and I know the song by heart.

Go forward a year and another movie comes out with a “kick-ass pop-punk soundtrack”. It was 2003...anyone have any guesses? Steve Martin fans in the room? It was Cheaper By the Dozen, a movie kind of about a book that I don’t know if anyone has actually read. But the movie is great, I love it. You may not think so but I reserve the right to life things that are objectively bad. (See my love of the live-action Scoo-Doo movies) Anyway, Simple Plan had a song on the soundtrack. It was I’m Just A Kid and it plays over the scene where all the kids have their first day at the new school and some preppy asshole shouts “MY LATTE!”.

One more year passes and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed comes out and it, for a period of time, becomes MY FAVORITE movie. Like, I went on a trip for a kinda nerdy thing I did in 4th grade and we watched Scooby-Doo 2 easily 4 times over the course of that one week trip. AND I’m pretty sure this trip is the first time remember listening to No Pads, No Helmets, Just Balls from beginning to end. Anyway, again, Simple Plan had a song written for the film on the soundtrack. It was Don’t Wanna Think About You and it’s seriously...just...so good! It’s emotional, and it like perfectly accents what’s happening in the movie! I cry when Shaggy says “They’re like totally having a montage in there without us Scoob”

Now I’m just gonna rattle off a ranking of their soundtrack appearances as they appear in my brain:

Don’t Wanna Think About You from Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.

Because duh

I’m Just A Kid from Cheaper by the Dozen.

Kinda scandalous for this to beat Grow Up but I like the scene it plays over better

Grow Up from Scooby-Doo.

This could be purely nostalgia-driven but I just love the movie so much and it was basically where so many people first heard them and there is a huge significance to that in my head.

What’s New Scooby-Doo from the show of the same name.

This song is awesome and I remember seeing them play it for what they claimed was the first time in over a decade in Santa Anna California in 2016 and I remember Pierre doing a little intro but not saying what song it was and I looked at my sister and said “holy shit they’re about to play What’s New Scooby-Doo!” so that’s why it’s on this list even though it’s TV and it’s my list I’ll do what I want. That memory warms my cold heart

Christmas List from the Unaccompanied Minors soundtrack

Full Disclosure I still haven’t this movie (what kind of movie guy am I?) but the song is also a bonus track and also full of dated pop culture references like PlayStation2 and DVDs which I love to chuckle at to this day. When I got my first MacBook in early 2012 one of the first things I did was use garage band to split the bonus track off as it’s own track.

Vacation from New York Minute

I had a weird interaction a little over a year ago where a Gen Z kid was randomly singing it and I was like “How do you know this song?” and he was like “oh some Mary-Kate and Ashley movie” and I said “So it is Vacation by Simple Plan. Accept I know it because I love Simple Plan. To this day I have never seen that movie but I know it’s from that movie and this little memory gives that song a special place.

Happy Together, a cover that was produced and on the soundtrack to Freaky Friday

This song it the top cover because it’s actually good AND the movie has grown in a significant tentpole of pop culture

Can’t Keep My Hands Off You from Disney’s Prom

This came out in 2011, I haven’t seen it. I imagine it’s not great but seeing as how the song is pretty good on its own and I have no other attached feelings it goes here on the list. But even this movie appearance isn’t as unsatisfying as...

Surrender from the Fantastic Four (2005)

We all remember this movie, people have mixed opinions. Mine are basically that the movie is fine, there are definitely better superhero movies now but this doesn’t necessarily deserve to be panned at trash or anything. It was 2005 and it’s at least as good and Sam Rami’s Spiderman.

Apparently there is a site for this but it doesn’t include New York Minute but it does include Clockstoppers. A movie I know I’ve seen but I don’t remember noticing there was a Simple Plan in it. There was a cool scene where they pause time next to a sprinkler and they push the droplets around and stuff. I just found this out after I typed my list. You can look at the link but it doesn’t have my opinions on it so why would you?

So, if you’ve read this blog before or maybe even know me in person you know I’m a big movie buff so it’s no surprise that I kinda discovered my love for them through movies. However, Simple Plans music nostalgia goes really deep.

I remember my first MP3 player. It was terrible, I’m going to date myself a little here but it only has physical buttons, it worked like a flash drive so if you didn’t organize your file folders properly it was basically impossible to navigate, and it only held like 100 songs. In comparison, my old sister had a Microsoft Zune. (You know Zune? The thing that Star Lord gets and the end of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 which was directed by James Gunn; the same guy who did the screenplays for both the live action Scooby-Doo movies that introduced me to Simple Plan in the first place! Which is part of why I’m writing this post!! If that dumb full-circle moment doesn’t give you warm and fuzzies you can stop reading) She had a pretty substantial library already and I had to carefully pick and choose what to put on it and I remember one the first songs was My Alien which isn’t a super popular track but it spoke to middle school me. There were definitely more of their songs from NPNHJB and Still Not Getting Any because self-titled Simple Plan didn’t come out until 2008. Eventually, I got an iPod nano with a whopping 16gb of storage and my life changed! I could hold basically all the music I wanted and that included all three of the Simple Plan albums that were out at the time. I have a very clear memory of making my mom listen to them a few times on the way to/from the orthodontist (which was a 40 minute drive because everything is far away in rural America) and she told me that I was just as good as a singer as Pierre. There’s no way, Pierre is an icon.

Over the course of the last decade, a few Simple Plan experiences have occurred around my birthday and I’m convinced they must know when my birthday is. The first time this happened was 2011 when they released Get Your Heart On! Which might be my favorite album if I was going to pick one but they’ve literally never written a bad song so why actually pick favorites? I remember a friend saying “This sounds like their old stuff and I love it” and I was offended. Like, how dare they slander Still Not Getting Any and Simple Plan like that?

As high school went on I started to have a very stressful Junior year. I bit off more than I could shew academically and one day I had a massive stress attack and I basically shut down but Untitled really got me through, I listened to so much Simple Plan that night but Untitled really helped me calm down and relax enough to get my head straight. While I’m talking about the song I’m gonna mention it was a charity track and the music video WILL make you cry but it’s super important and you should watch it.

Forward a couple more years and I’m in my first semester of college. I had chosen the wrong path at the time and I was in the process of fixing that by completely changing up my education including changing schools and giving up a rather big scholarship. I was feeling pretty good but uneasy about what I was doing at the time and what do you know? Right when I needed something comforting Simple Plan gave me an early Christmas present and released the EP Get Your Heart On - The Second Coming and every track on the EP reached into my soul and helped me process. I also started to GYHO again heavily and Gone Too Soon helped my deal with how much I was missing home and how much I missed a lot of my friends (I know the song isn’t really “about” that but it helped).

At this point in my life, I’ve mostly given up hiding my fandom. I started following the band members on social media and I was VERY closely following the release of the next album. Which I was sure was going to be released by my birthday. (this is the second time a birthday coincidence happened) The band had another plan, which was to hype me up for an album drop and then only release a non-album single Saturday that wasn’t even on the album that came out later! I accepted their gift though because I wanted more songs so desperately! I was so thirsty for Simple Plan content that I also listened to an episode of the Lead Singer Syndrome podcast with Pierre and learned so much about the band and their careers together, it warmed my heart! The album Taking One For the Team wouldn’t drop for almost an entire year! But when it did they also announce their first tour in the US in years!

In early October 2016, I finally saw then live for the first time. I already talked about this, it’s when they played What’s New Scooby-Doo! The place where my sister and I chose to stand was near a stantioned-off area that looked VIP. Before the band went on their families came out escorted by security and watched the set right behind me! That trip was so fun! It was also my first concert ever, I had been to Warped Tour the previous summer but I choose to call that my first festival.

The tour I saw them on kinda just morphed into the 15th-anniversary tour for NPNHJB. Remember when I went on about Scooby-Doo? Yeah reader, it’s been 15 years. I saw Simple Plan for the second time in April 2017 and I was able to convince a bunch of Set It Off (great band) fans to come with me because they were also playing. My roommate at the time said that seeing me at the concert was one of the times they’d seen me happiest. I thought that was very sweet and I’m glad I was able to have that experience with those people. Weirdly enough though, I had just started a new job and my new boss was also at the show. There isn’t much more to that particular story but I still think it’s funny.

After this I closed a chapter of my life by leaving the fraternity I was a part of for most of my college experience. At the alumni ceremony, people often do personal things for those leaving, gifts, speeches, etc. For me, a few of my Brothers played Welcome To My Life. It was one of the sweetest things anyone could have done.

The next time I saw them was on the final Warped Tour. I was so excited! I took time off so I could go and see them in San Diego because it was closer to (this is the 3rd coincidence) my birthday! I drove to San Diego alone and stayed in a hotel alone and had a couple of meals alone and saw a movie alone all so I could see Simple Plan. I did meet up with some friends at the festival on the day of and it was amazing! One of the people is very close to me and we shared a lot of music that day. I waited in line for over an hour at the SP merch tent and I was going to have sign some stuff with a happy birthday but they ended up having to leave the tent to get ready for their set and I nabbed a quick picture with Pierre. They closed their set with Perfect and everything felt melancholy but very “right” you know?

Most recently I saw Simple Plan alone in Phoenix. It was awesome! I was uneasy just seeing a show alone but being in that room with people who probably have a ton of stories just like this one (though probably not so many words) was exhilarating. They definitely had the best set and this time I noticed some of the things they kinda always do at shows. Like Chuck crowd surfing or the same call response to their most popular songs and another rendition of What’s New Scooby-Doo!

This pretty much brings us to the present, thanks for taking this 2500+ word journey down memory lane with me. Currently, I’m feeling upset that the tour planned for this summer was called off because of the COVID-19 epidemic and I kinda have no idea when the album might drop. I am in no way diminishing anything that has happened to anyone else but for me, the current way of the world has taken a lot of what makes me happy away. My career is on hold, I can’t go to movies, and it even took away Simple Plan. Writing this has been mildly therapeutic and that was the point. If for some reason this post reaches the band I just want to thank them all. Pierre, Chuck, Seb, David, and Jeff. You guys are unbelievably amazing! Thank you for being somehow integrated into a lot of things that I really hold dear but most importantly thank you for the music! I can’t wait for more! Now, I’ll leave this train of thought before all this nostalgia makes me sick (get it?).

I tried not to ruin it but this is almost 2600 words so I probably did.

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steve0discusses · 6 years

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Yugioh S2 Ep 31: You Can’t Spell Marriage Without Mai

First off, when I got to this episode, I turned to my bro and said “WHAT” and he said “Right? This episode is the best. It’s all down from here” and I was like “YOU SAID THAT TWO EPISODES AGO” so now I know Bro can never be trusted.

If you had told me the plot of this episode before I watched it, I’d say “no, that is Mario Party Fanfiction, and you’ve changed all the names.” That is where this episode went.

Does Mario Party Fanfic exist? Quick Google search, one moment. Dear Lord. OK, I’m back.

Now guys I want you to know that every time a ship comes up in Yugioh, I write like...10k words about it, math equations appearing around my head, as I try to figure out what the freakin hell anyone is even doing and if the writers even know what they’re doing, and I’ll just promptly delete it. I just want you to know the service I do for you. Every time it comes up I start ranting about what the hell an ancient Egyptian would even understand about modern romance and then I stop myself and go “No! Focus!” and I’ll Ctrl-A and I’ll just *delete* and feel a burden lift off my shoulders and into the ceiling like a prayer.

And then this episode happened?

And I’m just like...

...

well I TRIED to spare you.

Please admire how many people they stuffed into Mai’s very small convertible. I half expected them to drive up to Kiki’s Delivery Service.

In case you’ve also forgotten something that happened 40 episodes ago, Mai saved Joey last season by giving him a McGuffin as well as a gross ass handkerchief (which he doesn’t have anymore, the whole 'will they ever return the gross ass handkerchief’ plotline seems to have left the building) and finally, here, halfway through S2 we’re going to actually address why Mai would have any compassion for this bundle of awful kids.

I mean, Joey is still in high school and Mai is like 24 (although some say 44???) so I’m pretty sure they were trying to make it seem platonic or motherly between these two but eh, I don’t even know with this show, man. I mean she and Joey are 8 years apart but Serenity is 4 years Tristan’s junior despite Mokuba being 1 year younger than her and like right there. (Mokuba’s like 12 by the way, something surprising I found out when I did a Google Deep Dive on everyone’s canonical weight a few episodes ago.) And then Pharaoh is like either 5000 or 16-ish depending on who’s asking, so age doesn’t seem to be ever an inhibiting factor in this show.

But as is Yugioh tradition, any space that could possibly be filled with any growth between a boy and a girl--even platonically--must be absolutely derailed by something exploding.

(read more under the cut)

Stepping out from inside of this limousine is a man who wears sunglasses at night, and so at first I thought “oh hell it’s Pegasus’ security, he’s back” But he’s...he’s not. I really, really wish it were.

Joey literally wiped his hand off on the ass of his jeans before trying to shake the hand of this guy he has never mentioned before in his life but swears is his favorite person in the world.

Jean wisely left him hanging.

Joey is SO ready to see a ship in this show actually do something. So ready, that he is willing to accept Mai and this rando we’ve never seen before as canon, despite the fact I’m pretty sure a chunk of last season was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to pair him up with Mai?

It’s not where I expected this episode to go! I really thought we were going to go and play a tourney? We were meeting up with Kaiba at a stadium one block away - he’s just sitting there on his big ass dragon shaped chair and like “omg the moment I walk away they get completely distracted, every single time.”

Anyways, lets get to a flashback where very fancy people in pastel suits were playing cards because apparently cards isn’t just for streetfighting.

I have been wading through 1.5 seasons of these characters doing these elaborate dances around each other to never ever speak a word of commitment or relationship, and I’ve been pretty OK with them doing that. Honestly, the less romance in my Yugioh, the more satisfied I am, but then, after 1.5 seasons of basically nothing but Serenity wearing some bandages and needing a lift from the hospital, suddenly we have this random guy show up and profess marriage, and it is the most whiplash this show has ever given me.

I will accept demonic weird ass devices threatening children, spooky magic, bad history, and all sorts of weird ass outfits but like marraige???? wtf?????

Which is something that Mai seems to know because she turned him right down as you should when a person you’ve never met before decides to marry you based on your ability to coordinate cards in a deck.

Joey honestly thinks being a rich star will automatically make you marriageable material, because I guess Joey completely forgot about Seto Kaiba, a very famous billionaire who is maybe one of the least marriageable people on the planet.

So what gets me about this episode and what makes it so freakin weird is that everyone here accepts this as the rules from this point on.

She MUST be married if Mai enters and then loses this game. Welcome to the Yugioh universe. This is how card people dating works. This is law, she has to accept this proposal if this card game based on chance loses.

Anyways, Yugi’s here to be the voice of reason in a dating episode and that’s something I didn’t expect to write in a sentence.

Yes, his motive was “Mai, this will take too long” not “Mai, you don’t know this guy, and he’s probably crazy” it was “Mai please, I know the world will end when I enter this tourney and so you have nothing to lose and it’s the best time to marry a stranger actually, but can you not? It’s taking SO LONG.”

Duke Devlin in the back still trying helplessly to keep up with what the hell is going on since he wandered on this team by complete accident four episodes ago.

And yes, it’s THIS that makes Joey not like this guy. Not the part where he proposed out of the blue, nearly ran over them with his car, stalked Mai for like a year, and then completely disregarded Mai’s common sense. No--this part, where he threatened to kick Mai out of the competition. That was the low blow to Joey.

You will lose this duel and gain a husband.

That is an actual line from the show, folks, this show went places.

aaaaand Mai starts losing right away.

DAMN

IT.

This is the one thing I thought was pretty much in the bag. That there would not be the concept of one of these characters getting married. That was the One thing I was sure of. But I was not only wrong, but this is like the most bizarre wedding I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s basically a shotgun wedding but with cards???

And what makes this more bizarre, and it was something I only noticed after watching this episode, is that we’ve seen this type of behavior before. But at the time, back in the beginning of this season I was just like “that was just a really weird thing that happened that wouldn’t possibly be accepted as normalized in this universe.”

Like, remember that creepy DDR guy who dueled Yugi so that if he beat Yugi in a match, that creepy guy would become Tea’s boyfriend despite never spending more than 2 minutes with either of them? That despite the fact that Yugi isn’t even her boyfriend, it was like something all three of them were like “I guess I have to go through with this now.” At the time I just assumed that was an insane thing that happened. I just assumed that would never come back.

This was the episode where suddenly I realized, maybe the big issue with these kids dating is a hell of a lot more than just actually going on dates. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand what their love language is. It’s not Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and for sure as hell isn’t Physical Touch, it’s the 6th, not very often talked about love language, that’s right, it’s Cards. Rewrite everything, Gary Chapman. Tear it all down and reshoot all those Ted Talks, we forgot something.

Like, sometimes I forget that these guys live in a universe controlled by cards. I mean we’ve seen cards and romance intermingle twice. (three times, if you count Rebecca, who might be engaged to Yugi now? It was kind of a really weird ending to a card game) Pegasus even tried to resurrect his dead wife through cards. All these cards currently exist because of Pegasus’ undying love for Cecilia (who is...OMG I forgot that chick might be alive somewhere)

What I’m saying is that...What if this is how they’ve actually dated this whole time? What if this whole time that I assumed no one was dating they......they actually...were? What if I just didn’t notice, because it was just so freakin weird? What if this is more like how in a Jane Austen novel, if someone goes on a walk with someone else it’s basically like 3rd base?

Like, remember Jane Austen’s Persuasion, where Captain Wentworth went on a walk with Louisa and she was like “hey catch me, I’m 14 years old!” and then she tripped off a wall and got a concussion and he was like “DAMN IT! Now I have to marry her!” and everyone was like “Well congrats on getting married, Louisa.” and then she fell in love with a sad poet who gave her soup once while Captain Wentworth was getting his nuptials planned out in Bath and so Louisa dumped Captain Wentworth’s sorry ass and he was like “OH THANK YOU. YOU ARE SO 14.” And then sad soup man showed up in Bath while Wentworth and the rest of Louisa’s family was quickly crossing out “Wentworth” on all the marriage invitations and sad soup man was like “Before Louisa, I was in love with this other chick, but she died, so I’m pretty stoked I found Louisa.” and Captain Wentworth was like “You’re such an asshole for cheating on your dead girlfriend, I would never do that, you ass!” and then immediately married Anne Wentworth by writing her one single letter saying “hey, want to get married Y/N?” despite the fact that he went well out of his way to avoid her the entire book?

What if that’s been going on in the background of Yugioh but I just didn’t know because, unlike Persuasion, I never took a college class on Yugioh Dating Customs so I have no idea when it ever happens.?

See, this is the stuff I usually delete but like psh whatever, it’s a dating episode, so for once this isn’t a tangent, and yes, I am reading too much into this, thank you.

Anyway, after Joey asks Yugi what to do and then telephones what Yugi just told him to Mai enough times, Mai beats Jean Claud Magnum and avoids a lifetime of...whatever that would have been like.

However, something is off about that game and it takes a card wizard to explain it to us although it was...........really obvious.

This is the third time someone on this show was abducted by a ninja net.

She gets kidnapped by a guy in a ninja jet suit contraption and this is her reaction!? Freakin lucid dream what the hell?

This is the weirdest show I’ve ever watched. Not so much because it has stuff other shows don’t have, but because it forces me to have these expectations of what I think it is and then, once I get comfortable, completely changes it. Last episode Bakura murdered 3 established characters in a graveyard. Like, not even random people, Bakura murdered 3 named people with funny accents we’ve known since last season. That was already completely insane for a kid’s show to do. But rather than address whatever the hell is going on with Bakura, we’re just going to add more to the pot and throw in this crazy asshole, too. For kicks.

Like this is a filler episode somehow? This filler episode would be an entire season of any other kid’s show.

So this episode ends with Mai hanging from a flag pole in a miniskirt, but it’s not like anyone in this city would ever peek their nose out of their window to see what the hell is going on, so at least she doesn’t have to worry about upskirting an entire town. Just these two people.

And like, Joey’s such a mess in that head anyway that like who freakin cares? He’ll probably wake up tomorrow without any memory of yesterday thanks to possession, drowning, getting beat up, tied up, and then this oncoming concussion.

I’m pretty sure she should have stabbed him right through with this duel disk?

(the dialogue really does imply that if he had done this himself she would have been cool with it. How freakin weird is Mai?)

And then he just lets her go? Makes you wonder if it was an abduction or just a game he thought she would enjoy? I don’t know. This episode was all over the place. I mean...maybe he really thought she’d like getting caught in a net and being flown all around Domino? I don’t freakin know.

Like, in my opinion she was stalked for over a year and abducted with several witnesses. But, no one is calling the cops. So like...was this weird to them? This was very weird to us...but like...maybe Mai was like “hm, that was a so-so date.” because this type of behavior is just how this universe does?

....

Yugioh, are you OK?

Anyways, next week:

Is the tourney cancelled because after episodes and episodes of tangents, no one ever freakin shows up and Kaiba has to go back to school to do a Chem final? Does Duke Devlin ever even do anything? Does it take 20 minutes for Bakura to walk through security because he keeps setting off the metal detector with his invisible necklace that he can never take off?

#Yugioh #yugioh recap #photo recap #s2 ep31 #Mai Valentine #Yugi Muto #Jean Claud Magnum #joey wheeler #serenity wheeler #Tea Gardner #tristan taylor #duke devlin #marriage #real talk what type of cut even was that diamond

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mhagnolia · 4 years

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avpd asks by @acevoidant

i thought this might be a good (?) activity to better understand myself. i’m definitely on the road to recovery but i had a sad episode today and found avoidant tags on tumblr.

1. how did you find out about avpd? on my fifteenth birthday, i knew i should be happy, but, the whole day i couldn’t stop thinking about my mental space. i think this is one of my symptoms, constantly trying to rationalize and fix my mental state rather than confront the pressing behaviors that cause this (my avoidance). i got ready for bed but i wanted to know what was so wrong that i could never have a normal day. i stopped assuming it was depression, anxiety, ocd, schizophrenia, etc. and considered the next thing i had heard of but never checked: personality disorders. after reading about the criteria for avpd, i found it was strikingly similar to my experience in a way no other disorder has. in short, i guess i just tried searching for an answer for the umpteenth time and found it.

2. are you professionally diagnosed? nope. i don’t know if i really need to be; for me, right now, it’s best if i figure this all out on my own.

3. what age do you think you started having avpd symptoms? my first memories of avpd like symptoms are from second grade when i was about 8 years old. we were let out of the classroom to go to the bathroom and i didn’t want my friends to walk before me (lil meanie) and my teacher called me back into the classroom. i don’t really know what the proper reaction to this is but i went back to my seat, muttered to myself how i was such a bad student, and pulled my hair tie onto my wrist to hurt myself.

4. do you have other mental illnesses? Does avpd complicate these illnesses? If so, in what way? in truth, in truth, in truth, i’m not that sure. i feel anxious often like when i wash dishes or share an opinion but i don’t think its too debilitating. my anxiety is usually just fuzzy chest feelings i get every so often. depression is questionable, but right now, i’m definitely facing a dysfunction that i so often associated with depression (slipping grades, losing sleep, not eating). i believe that my avpd sort of trumps any other mental issues i face and makes my relationship with them much more complex i.e., “i don’t deserve a community/a common place”; “i deserve less than depression”.

5. what do you do to deal with loneliness? i guess busy myself. i never find myself actually reaching out to others.

6. what do you do to deal with depression? if i knew i wouldn’t be writing this.

7. what do you do to deal with anxiety? hmm, i guess try to reason myself out of it? my anxieties usually deal with forces outside of myself, so, it’s much easier to rationalize it. i try to think of my blossoming self growth, my goals, my dreams, and the trust i have in others.

8. if you experience dissociation, what is that like for you personally? i don’t believe i’ve ever experienced dissociation. i think i sometimes do experience depersonalization, though.

9. were you ever misdiagnosed? if so, which mental illness were you misdiagnosed with? how did that affect your treatment? never been diagnosed

10. do you have a safe person? i’ve told my mom i believe i have avpd but we don’t do much about it and i’ve only talked to her about on maybe three occasions. i find a lot of solace in my mom’s side of the family and when i’m with certain cousins i find that my minds quiets and i become a bit of a different person :).

11. have you ever been hospitalized? Ii you have been hospitalized, what was it like and did it help you in any way? never been hospitalized

12. what is your advice to someone who is considering hospitalization or is about to be hospitalized? i don’t think i would really recommend it for anyone dealing with a mental disorder if you don’t pose to a danger to yourself or others. however, honestly, i’m not really versed on what actually occurs in a psychiatric hospitalization. it just doesn’t seem like a positive or pleasant experience that would help,

13. have you ever been in residential treatment? if so, what was it like and did it help? never received treatment

14. what is your advice to someone who is considering residential treatment or is about to start residential treatment? same as above

15. what is your advice to someone who has just been diagnosed with avpd? not sure, i don’t think i could allow myself to muster anything. i guess just find help, whether in a medical respect or in a social respect.

16. who do you look up to that influences your personality/way of thinking? what personality traits/ways of thinking have you taken on because of them? anyone who is materially or emotionally successful, definitely. i find myself often trying to internalize others’ kindness, helpfulness, work ethic, passion, etc. it’s a culmination of different books characters, movie characters, online “personalities,” friends, relatives.

17. who did you look up to when you were young (real or fictional)? i don’t really know, no one really comes to mind in particular.

18. how have you changed since you were first diagnosed? never been diagnosed, however, since i somewhat found my “answer,” i’ve certainly been a lot better than before. whether that has to do with my initial discoveries isn’t clear to me but i am surely better than before.

19. what are some things related to your avpd that you still want to work on? ahaha, everything? the disorder still affects me in the same way than it did at my peak, just to lowered degrees.

20. how are you feeling right now? What is currently influencing your mood? i’m alright rn, we just went to a few parks and walked around different vistas. i had hoji cha bubble tea and i’m feeling ok.

21. do you have any friends with avpd? Ii so, how is that friendship different than friendships with people who do not have avpd? i don’t believe i have any friends with avpd.

22. favorite songs to listen to when you’re in a bad mood? right now it’s ribs by lorde, streetcar by daniel caesar, less and less by maltese, and a story playlist i made for a wattpad fanfic. if i’m in a bad mood and i want to feel better i listen to adam melchor.

23. what do you do to get yourself through a breakdown? i listen to music, watch particular youtube videos, read!!!, or journal.

24. what are your top 3 healthy coping skills? i’m not really sure, i guess breathing, taking a break, and preventing anger/blaming.

25. do you channel your pain into any art forms such as drawing, singing, poetry, etc? “channel pain” lol. i guess i do.

26. are you more of the type to isolate and avoid others or need to be with people all the time because you’re afraid to be alone? isolate

27. are you more of the type to overshare too much personal information or keep too much of yourself a secret out of fear of rejection? definitely keep to myself

28. does avpd affect your appearance? for example, do you change your hair or clothing style frequently? ah, no way. i’ve been 200% better about this recently but a few years ago, i was afraid to wear new clothes and change hairstyles.

29. what keeps you alive? everything and everyone. i love the world, a lot.

30. how open are you about having avpd? maximum security >:( unless you’re my mom. but then again, i think talking about a daily dysfunction-ing disorder twice in about five years isn’t all that much haha.

31. when starting a new relationship, when do you usually think it’s the right time to tell your partner you have avpd? i don’t know if i could start an honest and genuine relationship with someone if i didn’t let them know beforehand. but this could change.

32. do you listen to any songs that perfectly describe how you feel as a person who has avpd? not perfectly but i love first love, late spring by mitski, eartfquake by tyler, the creator, sense by tom odell, if i’m being honest by dodie, why by bazzi, cursive by billie marten, and listen before i go by billie eilish. music wise (not really lyrically) is the entire submarine ep by alex turner, only ones who know by arctic monkeys, singularity by bts, bad religion by frank ocean, and here’s an obscure one: bran-new lovesong by the pillows.

33. were you more of an innocent quiet child or a trouble maker growing up? innocent! i always followed rules.

34. are there any coping skills you want to try that you haven’t yet? coping skills are not really things apart of my routine. sounds like it would be good but i’m just trying to get to college.

35. are you currently in recovery? if so, how is that going for you? i would say yes! it’s going alright, some more lows than highs, but i’m insurmountably grateful for all of my highs.

36. what keeps you motivated? my dreams of becoming a writer/creative/academic and my personal responsibility to stay true to my identity.

37. name five qualities you like about yourself. sorry, this isn’t really a question i’m comfortable answering.

38. do you journal? if so, does it help you cope? yes! though it does help me in a stoic way, like meditation, it also helps because i’m really passionate about all forms of writing.

39. list some of your favorite avpd blogs. i have none; probably won’t ever have one.

40. how do you handle social interaction? i’m pretty good at leveled social interaction and i’ve gotten over my awkward quirky stage of adolescence (i think) lol. anything super deep is difficult for me, though. i almost never have heart to heart’s with anyone anymore.

41. are there any quotes/lyrics/etc that resonate with you? i already have a list of my favorite lyrics so here: “I leave you broken and shaking / but you still call me baby” “Please hurry leave me / I can't breathe / Please don't say you love me / 胸がはち切れそうで / One word from you and I would / Jump off of this / Ledge I'm on / Baby” “You're the sun, you've never seen the night / But you hear its song from the morning birds / Well I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star / But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds” “She said: He might just be a big story / But there's more to life than truth” “in a foreign place / the saving grace was the feeling / what it was the heart he was stealing” “some people think its supposed to hurt / like it couldnt be real / if its putting you first” “its a hail mary / i bet it all that you dont want to see me now / but ill take my shot in the dark / for you” “Don't leave, it's my fault“ concerning quotes, i have none, but aza holmes’ monologue toward the end of turtles all the way down by john green when she’s hospitalized made me sob, really cry. i’ll always remember it as when one of the first times i’ve really felt seen and completely understood. i considered ocd for a bit because of this monologue.

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