#I also plan to expand on the pirate au and turn it into a full story instead of oneshots

[melon-wing]

Not-So-Secret Soulmates [Scar/Grian]

[[FANFICTION MASTERLIST]]

Grian stood at the small grave, looking at the name with a pained expression. His heart ached for the friend he had just lost, even when he knew it wouldn’t be forever. He hadn’t meant to kill Bigb. He had managed to convince himself they were secret soulmates so much that he had forgotten Bigb had still been connected to Ren after all. He probably wouldn’t have built that trap otherwise. Or maybe he would have done it, but he would have apologised to Bigb before they had perished. This way he had actually celebrated his secret soulmate’s death, indirectly, but still. He had cheered. 

Grian almost felt as if arms were embracing him and he wondered if that was really the case. He remembered being a ghost last time. He had still been able to stay in that world and while he had just watched, maybe soft touches were possible. Him and Scar had been able to hear the shouts of the dead in their first game after all. Sometimes the wall between the dead and the living got thinner as emotions ran high. 

“I’m so sorry, B. I didn’t mean to kill you. I wished things could have been different. I really… I really wanted to be with you”, he whispered into the cold night air.

“You wanted him to be your soulmate instead of me, didn’t you?”

Grian jumped, whipping around so quickly he almost fell, the feeling of the soft embrace immediately disappearing as a cold shiver ran down his back. How hadn’t he heard Scar walk up to him? It was so unlike him to not pay attention and Scar usually wasn’t one to hide his presence well enough. It took him a moment to overcome the shock to realise Scar was still waiting for an answer, his eyes looking deep into his and it was as if he was pulled into these brown pools filled with uncertainty and sadness.

“Yes. I wanted him to be my soulmate. He was the one I was disappointed about most when we discovered he wasn’t my soulmate.”

Scar let out a small laugh, but there was no joy in it, it sounded so hollow.

“I mean… I knew that. Why am I even surprised? I just never thought you’d admit it just like that. But yeah, it’s true. Nobody would have been happy having me as a partner. I’m irresponsible, I mess up stuff and I don’t think before jumping into action. I’m the worst at this and anyone would have been better. I’m a walking, talking catastrophe.”

Grian could see something breaking inside Scar as his voice reached a higher pitch as he spoke, cracking every now and again, his words making him spiral downwards even more. 

“Scar-”

“No. Don’t you dare deny it now. You know it’s true! I pretended I didn’t hear you scream when you found out. I pretended it was something else that made you this upset, but I knew. I knew we were soulmates before you did. I knew the moment I stepped foot into this weird world. Because how could it ever be anybody else other than you?”, Scar ranted on, a shaking hand pushing his hair from his forehead as he looked at Grian, his eyes a mixture of sadness and madness. He was losing it quickly and Grian was too overwhelmed to know what to say to him. “Scar, please…”

Scar just shook his head, eyes moving from Grian to the grave behind him. “I thought this time we could win together. Me and you until the end. This time we wouldn’t have to fight to death. I didn’t want to see you cry again like last time. It was so hard to keep pretending then and not just hug you. I promised myself to protect you.”

“Wait… pretend?”

The glint of madness seemed to disappear and Scar smiled softly, but still so sad as he recalled the memories of their first game. “Grian. I’m not that bad at fistfighting. I’m a clutz, but even I don’t stumble that often and fall face first into a cactus. I didn’t want to hurt you. I let you win. Had I known you’d cry over my dying body like that I would have just accidentally fallen into a ravine before we ever reached that damn ring of death.”

Grian only stared at him, thinking back to their encounter in the desert, not trying to linger too long on the memory of the screams and blood. Now that Scar had said it, it seemed so obvious. Not even Scar was that much of an idiot when something was important to him. Apparently winning had never been important to him.

“I- Thank you, I think?”

Scar just shook his head and Grian was pretty sure getting gratitude wasn’t the reason he had brought it up.

“It’s in the past now. We were a great team back then. Not so much anymore. What happened to us, G? I thought you enjoyed being with me, even if I can be an irresponsible buffoon sometimes. We hang out all the time on Hermitcraft. We have lots of fun together, don’t we? Why do you hate being my soulmate so much that you want to team up with someone else?”

Grian pressed his lips together, glancing everywhere but at Scar’s face. He hadn’t known his attitude would hurt Scar this much and he knew he owed his partner an explanation, but he had a hard time admitting it out loud, when he had only ever told Bigb about the way he felt.

“I didn’t want to be the one to kill you again”, Grian finally whispered, looking up from uncertain eyes at Scar who seemed slightly shocked at his confession. “If you weren’t my soulmate I could have tried to do the same thing I did last time: Stay as far away from you as possible and make sure we’re not on the same or on opposing teams. I know this is a game and I know we all respawn… But I didn’t know back then. The first time. I thought I had killed you. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t fight you again. A piece of me broke that day, Scar, and I have been unable to repair it.”

“What?” Scar just gasped out, looking at him as if he was processing those words for a moment and then a bit of the sadness disappeared and he seemed less lonely and broken as a hopeful glimmer appeared. “So you teaming up with Bigb…?”

“He was helping me, Scar. We spent so much time together because he’s one of my best friends and he knows me. And I tried to replace you with him and I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would hurt you this much. It’s not that I don’t like you… I like you too much.”

Scar seemed to stop, all thoughts coming to an abrupt halt as his wide eyes looked straight into Grian’s. And then suddenly his cheeks started to turn pink as his shocked expression morphed into a small shy smile. It was an expression that made Grian’s heart race faster again. It was funny how the smallest of changes on Scar’s face could make him react like this.

Scar finally stepped up, taking a hold of Grian’s hand. “You don’t have to do this. Keeping your distance. I promise I’ll make sure nothing happens to you. We don’t have to fight and even if we die”, Scar took the hand to his lips, kissing it softly, looking up from the hand at Grian, “We’ll be right back together. I will be there when you wake up on Hermitcraft. We’ll be together. This is not real, Grian. We aren’t dying.”

“I know…”, Grian whispered, looking at Scar, those bright green eyes looking at him from beneath long eyelashes. “I just. I’m scared. What if I make enemies and you die because of me? What if I stumble and fall? What if some mob gets to me?”

Scar just shrugged, smiling fully now as he lowered Grian’s hand once more. “Grian. Do I look like someone who thinks he could win this? I cost you two lives already. So if you stumble, I’ll just have to catch you and put you back on your feet again. And if we die, I’ll be happy knowing we did our best together as a team. And once this is over we can be together without worrying. Back home.”

Grian smiled back at Scar. He just couldn’t help it. Seeing that smile was always too infectious. There was still a deep worry inside him, but yet he felt calm as well. Yeah, he might die and hurt Scar. But Scar wouldn’t mind. Scar would still be there waiting for him once he woke up again. Scar lifted his free hand up, letting it rest softly on Grian’s cheek and Grian leaned into the warmth of that touch, closing his eyes for a moment, allowing his constantly racing mind to slow down for the first time since this game had started. When he opened his eyes, all he could see and think of was Scar. Scar with his soft locks and bright smile. And with those deep eyes that looked at him with so much affection. It was truly a miracle he hadn’t suspected before that his feelings weren't one sided. “Promise me, Scar… Promise you’ll stay by my side. Don’t sacrifice yourself for me this time.”

Scar smiled and nodded.

“You’re not alone. Not in this world and not in the next.”

And as they both leaned forward their lips touched to seal the promise and Grian could feel a spark running through his whole body and he just knew that even if they didn’t win, he had gotten everything he ever wanted in this miserable world. He had found something precious that would stay far longer than the time they’d spend here. He had finally found love.

[eijispumpkin]

ASHEIJI PIRATES AU???? PLEASE EXPAND ON UR IDEA

OHOHO!!!! GLADLY!!! (cw for fantasy transphobia.)

eiji is a prince with a big problem.

see, most people think he's a princess, not a prince, and he's supposed to marry some prince from a kingdom across the sea, but that guy is a huge asshole and he doesn't want any part of it, especially because that guy is expecting a "princess" to be his "wife", and... uh, yeah, no.

but he isn't given a choice in the matter, and so he's put on a ship with his tutor and trusted friend, ibe-san, and sent off to his doom (or wedding. whatever). the weather is bad, and they’re forced to go a little further from the coast than planned...

and then their ship gets boarded by pirates.

specifically, pirates flying the lynx’s flag. everyone who lives near the sea and plenty who don’t have heard of the lynx - he’s a deadeye, he’s unstoppable, and none who cross him live to tell the tale. his crew is full of ruthless, dangerous men, and upon spotting a ship full of merchants and nobility, they descend like scavengers, lining up the crew and passengers on the deck as they take all the cargo and valuables from the hold.

and that’s when eiji gets a bright idea.

“excuse me,” he says, and waves at the man he can only assume is captain lynx (he’s more slender than eiji expected, and younger. pretty, in a surprising way). “captain lynx? do you take hostages?”

captain lynx gives him a flat look. “i don’t deal in any sort of trade with people’s lives, if that’s what you’re asking. no. we don’t kidnap people.”

eiji holds his wrists together and does his best big, pleading eyes. “i’m a prince. i’m sure you could get a nice ransom for me! please?”

that’s about when poor ibe faints and falls to the deck with a thunk.

“the fuck is wrong with you?” captain lynx asks, completely ignoring poor ibe-san, out cold. “you want to be kidnapped by pirates, princess?”

eiji sighs. “i’m not a princess. i’m a prince. and i am being shipped off to a marriage i never wanted, to a man who wants me to be his pretty ‘wife’ in a cage for the rest of my life. yes, i want to be kidnapped by pirates.”

something flickers in captain lynx’s eyes. later, eiji will understand what it was; later, he will know that captain lynx knows a lot firsthand about being someone’s pretty doll in a gilded cage. for now, all he knows is that captain lynx reminds him of a roaring flame in a human guise, as he turns his head to snap at one of the pirates carrying loot from the hold back to the pirates’ ship.

“bones!” he commands, and gestures at eiji. “take his highness aboard. we’ll see what kind of ransom we can get for him.”

the pirate who comes to get him is rather scrawny - bony, even - and eiji wonders if that’s where he got his name. as he’s led across the precarious planks joining the two ships, he can’t stop grinning.

later, captain lynx comes to him and apologizes, for calling him “princess” earlier. eiji is startled; it’s the first time someone outside his family has gone out of their way to apologize to him for that, and he realizes with a shock that he quite likes life away from court.

captain lynx offers him a deal: he can stay on the ship as long as he wants, so long as he finds a way to make himself useful as part of the crew. eiji admits he’s never done much work on a ship before, but he’s willing to learn, and captain lynx laughs at him, and eiji is startled all over again by just how lovely this strange pirate of so much rumor can be.

“what about the ransom?” eiji asks, a little apprehensive.

captain lynx rolls his eyes. “that was bullshit for the people watching. i told you, i don’t deal with human lives. i just can’t have anyone knowing i’m not an asshole.”

why not? eiji wants to know. he decides it’s better not to ask, not yet.

captain lynx takes eiji up to the crow’s nest, at the top of the mast, and tells him he can be lookout, for now - all he needs to do is keep an eye on the horizon, and hold onto the ropes. eiji laughs and promises he’ll be careful and won’t fall, looking out into the distance with wonder, and captain lynx just grins at him and says “okay. then i’ll leave you to it, birdie.”

birdie.

eiji likes that.

later still, eiji gets himself real pirate clothes, rather than cumbersome finery made for the princess he never was. the first mate, alex, cuts his hair for him, and he is so utterly delighted by the sight that greets him in the mirror that he jumps for joy, ruffles his own hair, and runs off to find captain lynx to exclaim about how fluffy his hair is now.

(if captain lynx blushes as eiji tells him to pet his hair, surely it’s just because of the sun.)

and even later, somewhere on the high seas, bones mentions that there’s an alchemist who makes a masculinization serum that he takes. he asks if eiji wants to come with him, next time they stop at that port. eiji is delighted both to have the opportunity, and to get to know a friend in the same boat as himself.

(pun intended.)

captain lynx mentions also that there’s a surgeon they took bones to, a couple of years ago, and bones eagerly rips off his shirt to show off his scars proudly. captain lynx laughs again. eiji really wonders why that’s so captivating.

“we can get you there, too, birdie,” he says, and gives eiji a smile that’s warmer than the lanterns on the deck at night. “if that’s something you’d want.”

“how can i ever repay you?” eiji asks, touched beyond measure. “you have done so much for me. and i know you are being hunted, because of the bount on my head.”

before captain lynx can answer, bones jumps in. “they had those super fancy looking pastries in the galley on your old ship. do you know how they make ‘em? i wanna feast like a king!”

captain lynx snorts. “there’s your answer, eiji. get my crew some fancy-ass pastries and we’ll call it a day.”

all this happens, and lots more, too. eiji doesn’t know any of it, when he gets taken on board the lynx’s ship, leaving his old life behind. all he does know, as he breathes in the salty air and feels the sea spray on the wind, is that it tastes like freedom.

[deeranger]

Fic Writer Questions!

@oddsocksandstuff tagged me in this, thank you so much, sweetie!  ❤️

 1) How many works do you have on AO3? I’ve got 40 so far (of which 25 are SPN fics). There’s more to come! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 486,667, apparently. That tells me each of my fics has an average wordcount of 12,166.675… Seems about right. I was never any good at keeping things short.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Uhh… On AO3 I’ve written for Supernatural, Supernatural RPF, X-men (Cherik) and McFassy (James McAvoy/Michael Fassbender). But I’ve written a lot when I was younger that has never made it online, including NCIS, Pirates of the Caribbean, and lots of weird one-shorts starring everyone from Michael J. Fox to Kevin Sorbo from “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys”. 🤨  

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “A Lesson to be Taught” – an SPN Wincest pwp fic where a dominant Dean fucks (and spanks) Sam and they discover that Dean apparently has a daddy!kink. Comes with a photo manipulation too! There be dick.    

“Taking Game” – a semi-dark medieval Cherik (Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr from X-men) AU. Basically, Charles is a poacher hunting on king Erik’s land to his great dismay. And so, he’s captured and gets the choice between losing his life or serving the king for a bit… Dubcon and smut ensues.   “Only Like This” – a little SPN Wincest dub-con fic about hopelessly pining Dean doping Sam just so he can touch and kiss his oblivious little brother. It’s okay. Sam won’t remember when he comes to.   “It’s Only Carnal” – A dark SPN Wincest noncon fic where soulless!Sam needs to blow off some steam. And when it comes to carnal activities his brother isn’t exactly a novice – so why not use Dean’s body to make them both feel good?   “Demonized” – a long and dark af SPN noncon fic written in collaboration with the awesome @palishere. Sam is captured by some nasty demons who use him to lure in his brother. At first it seems the demonic scumbags are just really perverted and have a weakness for sexual torture, but they turn out to have ulterior motives…  

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes, always. I think it can be a bit demotivating for a reader to leave a comment and get zero response – and so, they might not bother to comment on the next fic. At least, that’s how I feel personally. And besides, I really want to let readers know that I appreciate them taking the time and effort to actually tell me what they think.  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oufff… Seriously? How can I possibly pick just one when 99.8 percent of my fics are not only dark af but have gut-wrenching ambiguous endings as well? I, err… I’m gonna have to think really hard about this one, hold on… *Insert buzzing cicada sound*… Uhh… Well, I guess it might be… “Play or Pay” – a dark female!reader-insert Wincest fic where demon!Dean has you and Sam trapped somewhere underground. Sam ends up being on the receiving end of the demon’s cruelty when he tries to save you. Using Dean’s body the demon ends up raping Sam while the reader tries to escape to get help... There’s a little twist in the end. Loads of dead dove here, including death (not Dean or Sam).     “The Orange Hour” – where undercover inmate!Dean has to rape CO!Sam in order to save both of their lives and get them out of the jail in one piece. It doesn’t go completely as planned. (Comes with an nsfw photo manipulation).  “Demonized” – loads of bottom!Sam torture, full of hurt and absolutely no comfort... It’s just… I dunno, I think I and @palishere had a collective meltdown in the noncon and angst department. Sorrynotsorry.      

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, I’ve never in my life written a crossover. Usually, I’m too laser-focused on 1 obsession at a time. I can’t multitask, okay?   

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, the fandom purity police has visited me on AO3. The usual self-proclaimed know-it-alls vomiting their bullshit all over the comment section about how “problematic” noncon is and how “sick” I must be. I thought about moderating comments for a while, actually – but I just deleted their follow-up comments until they left me alone. 😤

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes!! Gimme! Usually, I write noncon smut or just good ol’ pwps that feature some sort of dominance. That’s it. That’s my jam. In general, the only smut I don’t write is the cute, fluffy, feel-good, cuddly stuff… My smut’s usually pretty rough and/or some sort of dub/noncon.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone stole “It’s Only Carnal” and posted it as her own on some Portuguese fanfiction site. She even replied to comments, answered questions and talked about how much she loved writing it, etc… Luckily a sweet mutual on Tumblr let me know about it and I reported her for plagiarism. The stolen fic was taken down shortly after and the account deleted. Goddamn thief. 😡  

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Honestly, I can’t remember which fic(s). But people have contacted me on AO3 and asked for permission to translate my stuff into Chinese. I have - of course - happily allowed them to. It’s such an awesome compliment to get, I think!  

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, 2. “Demonized” and the fluffy Ficfacers prompt fic “The Masks We Wear” starring Sam and Dean taking their pranks a step too far. Basically, the brothers get angry with each other and they need to talk it out… No smut in this one, can you believe it?!! But that was kinda the prompt we received. The prompt was literally: “Sam and fluff”. Anyways, both fics are co-written with the lovely @palishere. You can find her AO3 here. 😊

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Wincest!!! Definitely. Gimme all the brotherfucking, please. No contest. And coming in on second place I guess there’s Samifer – never paired consensually, though. I just love Lucifer messing with Sam’s head and torturing him in all kinds of cruel ways.    

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh, that’s a mean question… I have a noncon WIP where Sam and Dean are in prison. I wrote a whole story outline, gathered my own little dictionary of prison slang, etc… But I never made it past page 10 or something. Sam was supposed to get jumped by a gang of inmates and then Dean was supposed to helplessly watch from the sideline, offering to trade places if they’d just leave his little brother alone… And after that it’s all about a mix of healing and vengeance… But the story has been lying on the shelf for more than a year and I doubt I’ll ever continue it. Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I have a long Cherik WIP sequel to “To Have and to Hold”! Just checked, its wordcount is 18,729! Holy crap…. What a waste, huh? But I honestly don’t think I’ll ever finish it, because I’m not into Cherik anymore. That ship has kinda sunk for me…. So, now I’m hyperfixating on Supernatural, yeah?     

16) What are your writing strengths? Description, I think. I just love details and setting the mood. I like to think I’m pretty good at writing in English too even though it isn’t my native language… I wish to be better and expand my vocabulary but I’m doing okay nonetheless.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, I think. Yes, you read correctly. I often describe things TOO much. Sometimes to the extent where the pacing gets so slowed down that I feel like the scene loses its ‘feel’. I don’t know if it’s just in my head, but that’s my major concern about my writing. That and my signature ambiguous endings, lol.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Love it. It can be difficult to pull off, but if you get it right it can be magical. Just don’t overdo it and make sure that the reader can follow. I don’t think I have any fics online where I do it, but I’m not a complete stranger to it either.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Ack, my poor brain trying to go back to when I was friggin’ 13… You know how many years ago that was?! 25!!! Okay!? *Huffs*…. Anyway, I THINK it might’ve been Keanu Reeves’ character in “Johnny Mnemonic”. Or maybe David James Elliott’s character as Harmon Rabb in the early seasons of “JAG”. I dunno. Either way this question makes me feel really old and I don’t appreciate it. Don’t @ me. 😅   

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s probably a tie between “The Orange Hour” and “It’s Only Carnal”. They’ve both got nice pacing and that’s my biggest challenge, I think. Also, I love the whole Morse code thing in “The Orange Hour”. I don’t even know what happened or how I came up with it, but hey, I can surprise myself if I want to, I guess! And of course there’s the smutty noncon and all of the hurt… So, those two fics are my personal faves. 😏  

I’ll tag @jackandthesoulmates, @pinkoptics, @palishere, @wrenseroticlibrary, @decadent-prince, @negans-lucille-tblr, @juinae and @impala-dreamer and everyone else who feels like doing it! Feel free to ignore, of course. 

[prettywordsyouleft]

Miss Writer

Pairing: Brian Kang x female reader

World: To Be Continued

Genre: writer au / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: So I had no intentions of returning to the TBC world so soon, but as you can read below, I had a bit of trouble trying to write something for 2021 and this is the result of my nonsense thoughts at the time. I really am happy I wrote this as it feels like a good opening act for what’s to come this year!

Word count: 1558

“Hey! Did you hear about the writer who didn’t want to write?”

“They what?”

“She sat there for hours on end, just avoiding every idea that came to mind.”

“But why? Aren’t writers meant to write?”

“Why am I writing this?” you complained out loud, sighing heavily and leaning back in your computer chair. Staring at the basic dialogue in your word document, you groaned.

Why was it so hard to write?

You had been through this before. Where the words wouldn’t flow the right way, and your characters felt hollow.

But that was because Brian wasn’t in the story at the time.

You couldn’t solve this the way you had back then either. Once Brian had gone back into the world he had stepped out of, you finished the story without any further mishaps. In this case, you didn’t have any other fictional characters stepping out of any novel you had written to send back in. You didn’t even have a character to write about.

That was no doubt the whole problem.

“Miss Writer,” a voice called out, and you turned, smiling warmly at the man leaning against the threshold. Brian tipped his head in your direction. “How’s it going? Is your next bestseller getting ready to leap onto the pages?”

“Ha! At the rate I’m going, I might as well retire.”

“What?” Walking over to your side, Brian then leaned down to inspect your laptop’s screen. “You’ve written only four lines in two hours.”

“Four lines are better than none, though, I can’t say they’re four impressive lines,” you muttered, pouting up at the man. “I’m broken.”

“Shall I fix you?” he murmured, leaning down to kiss you. His lips were almost on yours when the doorbell rang. Brian heaved in a heavy breath. “If that’s Sungjin, I swear…”

“It’s probably Lily,” you mentioned with a knowing smile, climbing out of your chair and heading down to the front door to answer it. When you swung it open, however, you merely stared back at the woman standing there.

“Can we help you?” Brian asked from over your shoulder, right when you gasped noisily. “Y/N?”

“You’re… you’re… no way.”

Sungjin leaned around the side of the house and grinned. “Y/N! You need to stop making people so realistic that they come to life.”

“I’m confused,” Brian announced as you began to bounce with excitement, reaching out to touch the woman’s hand before you.

She grabbed it warmly and grinned at you. “I’m so amazed to finally meet you!”

“Ella,” you murmured and then glanced at Sungjin standing all too protectively at her side. “You found your Constable.”

“Ella?” Brian echoed and then lurched forward, leaning over you. “Ella from the Protector story?!”

Ella nodded and held out her hand to Brian. “You must be the first of our kind, Brian Kang, right?”

“Our kind?”

“Well, I had to explain it somehow to Ella,” Sungjin admitted with a chuckle. “It’s not every day that characters step out of documents, now is it?”

“Maybe that’s why I can’t write,” you murmured, watching the instant despair cross over your friend’s face, whilst a smug smile appeared on your partner’s. Rolling your eyes, you shunted Brian in the side before stepping aside and letting them inside. “Come, I promise this time I’m more equipped to dealing with my characters in the flesh. I won’t be fainting this time.”

“I’m starting to get worried now,” Brian confessed later in the evening as he carried your cat Binks around. “If Ella’s here too, who’s going to be next?”

“Well, considering I can’t seem to create anyone, you won’t have a problem any time soon.”

Brian pointed at you in warning. “Don’t you dare go opening Destined’s file.”

“Ooh, now there’s an idea!” you teased, grinning at Brian as you approached him. Stretching up to kiss him softly, you shook your head. “I doubt I could love anymore more than you if I tried.”

“And you always say I’m the charmer yet here you are causing my heart to go erratic with lines like that,” Brian stated with a giddy smile, his eyes disappearing and turning into little crescents.

“Well, you can’t be the one with the upper hand all the time.”

“Miss Writer.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think Ella is the problem this time. I think you’re just putting too much pressure on your shoulders.”

“Pressure?” you repeated with a frown and Brian placed Binks down before nodding at you. “Of course, I’m under pressure! I have to get my first chapter to Lily by next week, and I have nothing, not even a name.”

“You’re trying to write the next best thing, aren’t you?”

“That’s the whole concept of being an author, Brian. Writing something better than your last story. We’re always on the path of personal growth during this journey, Brian.”

“I know,” he agreed initially, rubbing your shoulders affectionately. You let out a small whine, not realising how tense your body was until he touched you. Brian instantly moved behind you and started working out the knots residing there. He stopped, leaning close to your ear. “But can’t you just write something for fun?”

“Fun?”

“Isn’t that the whole point of writing? To enjoy the world you create. You’ve been non-stop since I’ve known you. Before my world, you write a four part series with Jinyoung, then a three part series with me and Charli. Right after that, you completed Protector, and now you’re looking to follow that up as quickly as you can even though it’s only in the publication stages.”

Brian stepped around to face you, his face growing concerned. “Why don’t you slow down? Write something just for yourself.”

“I have. I wrote you into existence,” you reminded, and Brian slid his hands around your waist and tugged you closer. Placing your palms upon his chest, you gazed up at him lovingly. “I have to write something worth publishing.”

“Do you?”

“Huh?”

“Why not write something that the world will never see?” Brian offered and you chewed on your bottom lip in thought. “I think you’ve forgotten the joy of writing just for yourself, Miss Writer.”

The following morning, you sat at your desk deep in thought. Brian’s words had played over in your mind throughout the night and still were at the forefront of your mind now.

Did he think you had lost your personal enjoyment along the way as an author?

“Hey, that can’t be right,” you hummed, shaking your head before posing your index finger back up to your lips.

Had you?

The last time you had written something just for your own pure enjoyment was Destined. Sure, you had been excited by your ideas ever since, and laughed, cried, grown frustrated and been endlessly happy with the words you had crafted. But you were also contracted to write down those words. Since the third part of Destined, you had been signed under the publishing house you belonged to and had written consistently since. You hadn’t taken any time to write for yourself, aside from short stories here and there when you didn’t feel like working on a bigger story.

Even though you had enjoyed the journey thus far, it hadn’t been one you took alone.

“Maybe Brian’s right,” you said, blinking a couple of times before reaching into the top drawer of your desk for your external hard-drive. Glancing at the clock to see how much time you had left before Brian got home from running errands, you took in a deep breath, opening up your older fiction files.

Back here you were full of naivety and fresh ideas. The world was your oyster, as the saying went, and you had been hoarding many of them. As you scanned the title of projects you once hoped to write, you shook your head in amazement.

“There’s so many ideas here that I haven’t tried yet,” you breathed, stopping on one and clicking to expand the notes on it. “Wow, an enemies to lovers story.”

You continued to make your way through, finding an assortment of ideas. From fluff to angst, and all those in between, you had ample inspiration here to fill an entire year of stories.

“Should I indulge myself in writing these for a bit and come back to writing my next novel at a later date?” you wondered, your smile growing as your computer’s cursor hovered over an idea that piqued your interest.

“I’m back!” a voice called out and you spun around in your chair, leaping up and dashing into the arms of the man you loved. Brian chuckled. “Well, I missed you too!”

“You were right! Instead of looking for the best idea for my next story, I need to take some time off and write for me.”

“I was, huh?” he mused with satisfaction, cupping your face within his hands. “So what do you plan to write next?”

“I have so many ideas! There’s general domestic stories and a murder mystery, some periodic pieces about pilots and regency era based ideas. Of course, there’s a bunch of fluffy ideas, with a few royal au ones and even pirates! But you know, there’s one I really want to try first.”

“Which is?”

You grinned before poking his nose fondly. “You’ll just have to wait and find out what’s to come.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[DAY6 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

[shark-myths]

fic asks!

thank you, darling @alienfuckeronmain for the tag! fanfic is our beacon of hope in this dark time: the fantasy of fix-it, of happy endings, of everyone’s gay no one dies.

Fandoms:

tons, and also only one. in this house we live and we die for fall out boy. but in my life and in my heart there are many: star trek, battlestar galactica, mcu, x-men, lord of the rings, basically anything that has a compelling girl reading, any band that’s angsty and gay, anything my friends write because i always get sucked in. current fandoms I have fic in on ao3: 9

Tropes:

always and forever fake dating. and I love funny fic, so anything with contrived and ridiculous misunderstandings is delicious

Number of fics:

52 on ao3, and probably around 50 orphaned from a really toxic fandom i’m no longer part of

Fic I spent the most time on:

I was once famous for writing a painstakingly researched historically accurate gay pirate AU set in the 1650s, aka the golden age of piracy, which took an entire summer of research and ultimately clocked in at 79000 words. since I grew up and proudly joined the FOB fandom, there’s a tie: the incredible length of time i spent researching, avoiding writing, and complaining about the insanely bad idea of writing a space station au in epistolary format (looking at you, The Fixed Stars of Heaven, my nemesis), or if we’re looking at actual writing time, I’d say it’s The Boys Time Can’t Capture, my true history + faerie tale of Fall Out Boy.

Fic I spent the least time on:

Stranger Danger. man, I wrote that in a FEVER. I stayed up all night writing and wrote all day in notebooks, smearing my hand black and then typing it up when I needed a break. I was posting updates daily. that story boiled out of my blood.

Longest fic:

it’s  The Boys Time Can’t Capture, at 74k, but the girl out boy series overall is 166k.

Shortest fic:

turns out it’s a seven hundred word supernatural fic from 2012?? I think everyone has one of those in their library

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks:

(as an aside: I’ve never used the ‘sort by’ tool on ao3 before and I’m living for the first time)

Stranger Danger (6,322 hits)

aaaand Stranger Danger (458 kudos)

The Boys Time Can’t Capture (541 comments)

The Difference Between Real Love and the Love On TV (87 bookmarks)

which is a huge testament to how good you guys are at making me feel that ultra kind of love!

Total word count:

753,137

Favorite fic I wrote:

This is a hard question to answer, because I treasure different fic for different reasons. You’ve all heard a lot about many of my favorites over the years, and in this ask already, so I’m going to break the rules a little and talk about my favorite fic that no one ever reads: the rhodey-centric tony/rhodey femslash I wrote after paneling at SDCC a few years back, Saint Anthony. 

Fic I want to rewrite/expand:

I would love to rewrite that gay pirate AU i was talking about into original fiction, since it’s an AU in such totality that only the names make it fanfic. (me and @alienfuckeronmain once had a years-long rivalry i didn’t know about because of it) I think it would legitimately be a really fun adventure story! it’s sexy swashbuckling gay romance on the high seas full of political intrigue, pirate mystics, and stabbings, and I love it. there was even a sequel I had planned before I bounced out of that fandom...

Share a bit of a WIP or story I’m planning:

right now I am daydreaming about a girl out boy universe fic about how joyful oral sex is. its working title is “girl church” and at the rate i’ve been writing lately, expect it in 3-5 years :D

I tag any of my writers! especially @carbonbased000, because i owe her an email <3

[downeystarkjr]

Lost Stars - Cursed Killian AU - Chapter 7

Summary: Killian and Emma finally have their happy ending and are looking forward to their future together. However, fate has other plans and decides Killian needs to pay the price for returning from the Underworld by being sent 5 years back in time to New York with a new life and new memories and a new love. With no memory of Emma or who he really is. Killian and Emma’s True Love is put to the test when they cross paths once more as The Saviour does all she can to bring her pirate back. If things weren’t bad enough, Emma and the other heroes have to deal with the arrival of The Flying Dutchman to the Storybrooke docks, the captain of which is on the hunt for the infamous Captain Hook…

Chapter summary: Killian’s cursed life begins..

Chapter dedication: Chapter 7 is dedicated to @athenascarlet​ for her love of Cursed Killian fics!

Rating: M

Content/Triggers: Cursed Killian, fluff, angst, whump, nightmares

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Full story on AO3 here

Chapter 7

“Good morning sleepyhead, someone was sure tired,” a fair skinned brunette with warm, loving brown eyes smiled, greeting her boyfriend with kisses to his cheeks and jawline as he awoke. “You almost overslept,” she chuckled and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Hmm…good morning love,” Killian grinned and stole a kiss from the woman lying in the bed they shared together and embraced her in his arms. “Well I’m glad I had you around to make sure I didn’t get late for work Nicola,” he added.  “You’re quite the wonderful sight to wake up to darling,” the blue eyed man said affectionately before kissing Nicola again. “I love you.”

“I love you too Killian,” Nicola whispered against Killian’s lips and didn’t hesitate to kiss back. She was going to have to get ready and head to the law firm she worked at, and knew Killian would be needed at the school where he had the role of English teacher, having no memory of Storybrooke. Or of his True Love he married before disappearing from town. Killian was indeed a far cry from the pirate Emma fell in love with. Instead of memories of his true life as a redeemed pirate, Killian had memories of a past where he and his brother had been adopted after the death of his parents only for him to lose Liam years later when the older Jones brother joined the military while Killian was studying as an English and linguistics student at university.

The curse that pulled Killian away from his beloved wife took the pirate back five years in time and that morning was around five months  before his marriage to Emma. While he was enjoying his life in New York with the woman he believed he truly loved, he had yet to propose to Emma back in his real life. New York was where he met his current girlfriend, Nicola, who Killian was in love with. They had been together since a few months after his arrival to New York and shared an apartment with each other for the last three years. They truly were a devoted and loving couple.

“Good luck on your closing statements this afternoon in court, love,” Killian whispered as he gently placed ticklish kisses to his girlfriend’s neck to which Nicola responded with a laugh, playfully trying to push him away. “I’m sure you’ll be bloody brilliant always, my wonderful lawyer.”

“Thank you Killy, and I hope you’re right, to be honest I can’t wait until this case is finally over,” Nicola admitted with a small chuckle  and softly caressed Killian’s stubble as she gazed into his ocean blue eyes. She loved addressing him with the nickname she came up with when they first started dating. “And don’t worry, I’m going to make sure to be at your gig tonight,” she said in support of her boyfriend. Other than being a teacher, Killian had a hobby of being a musician. He loved his job but music was his main passion. “I’ll be the one cheering for you the loudest in the audience,” Nicola grinned and continued to give the man she loved good morning kisses.

“Aye? I look forward to seeking you out in the audience during my performance,” Killian smiled against Nicola’s lips and kept her in a loving embrace while kissing back. “People are probably going to be shocked to see a one handed guitar player singing tonight,” he shrugged, nuzzling his nose lovingly against hers. In this life, Killian recalled that he lost his left hand after a sailing incident. He hadn’t been out at sea since, not having the courage to. “Oh honey, no one’s going to treat you differently because you have one hand,” Nicola was quick to assure and reached for Killian’s prosthetic hand. “If anything, it’ll make people realise just how talented you are… I never get tired of hearing you sing,” she smiled while helping her love put on the appendage just like she always did every morning that they were living together.

Killian couldn’t hide the smirk on his face and raised an eyebrow at Nicola’s words. “Is that so? Well just wait to hear what song I have lined up to sing tonight,” he winked. It was mean to be a surprise but Killian had planned to perform a song he had written for his girlfriend, one she was yet to hear.

“If it’s anything like the song you wrote for me on our first date or any of your songs, I know it’ll be perfect,” Nicola smiled widely and hugged Killian from behind after she fixed the hand in place on his stump, resting her head on his should for a few moment. “Now, do you think you have time for me to make you some breakfast before you head down to the school? How does your favourite, scrambled eggs on toast with a mug of hot cocoa and cinnamon sound?”

“That sounds too tempting to resist, I love you,” Killian gave in, leaning back against his girlfriend as she hugged him. He was grateful to have Nicola in his life. The spell that brought Killian back in time and to Nicola had worked on the two of them, making them believe that Nicola had been there for Killian since the loss of his brother and his left hand. There were a few subtle signs remaining  of the man Killian was supposed to be. “Nobody makes my favourite quite like you do.”

“Why thank you Mr Jones,” Nicola giggled and shared a kiss with Killian again before getting up to prepare breakfast for the two of them, letting Killian get ready for the day ahead.

It was during the moments that Killian was alone that he experienced the unshakeable feeling that something was missing in his life. However, he was mistaken in his judgement regarding what it was. Killian still had the wedding ring Emma placed on his finger during their wedding ceremony but believed the ring to have belonged to his father. Killian thought the reason he felt so alone was because he had lost his beloved brother and was made to grow up without either of his parents.

Killian honestly didn’t know where he would be if he didn’t have Nicola. He was grateful for how her parents had been more than willing to welcome him into their family. They saw how perfect he and Nicola were together.

“Bloody hell Jones… you have a woman you’re in love with, who loves you in return… you shouldn’t be feeling this way anymore…” Killian sighed after washing his face with cold water, looking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He didn’t doubt that Nicola was the one for him, nor did he have the inkling that he shared True Love with someone else. “She’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” he smiled to himself. The couple had discussed the possibility of expanding their household with a child of their own. Killian knew he wanted a future with Nicola, she was the best thing that could have happened to him for quite some time. He felt ready to take the next step with her and was also strongly considering marrying her. After all, they had been together for quite some time and Killian had already found the perfect ring. If only he knew that he had been bound in matrimony to someone else.

“Aye love, I’m just about to read it, let me sit down first” Killian chuckled as he carried his cup of  coffee in his prosthetic hand and his phone in his right with the newspaper Nicola insisted he buy during his break from the nearby newsstand. It was later in the day and Killian has just returned from his lunch break with some time remaining before his next class was due to beginning. He always was punctual. “Aren’t you supposed to be working right now?” he asked with a playful tone while walking down the school hall to the room he was going to be teaching in next.

“Don’t worry, the jury are discussing the verdict, so I’ve been reading the paper I collected on my way to work this morning,” Nicola explained with a jokingly roll of her eyes. Knowing when her boyfriend was teasing her. But she couldn’t help how eager she was. “So, what do you think? It’s perfect right?”

“Hang on darling,” Killian said to Nicola when he finally sat down, placing his coffee on the desk before turning to the classified section of the newspaper. There he saw the advertisement for the house in Maine that had caught Nicola’s attention. The couple had been pondering on the thought of moving from New York so that Nicola could be closer to her ailing father in Maine. But the house needed to be just right, like the one she had found. “Complete with a bedroom balcony giving the perfect view of the ocean?” Killian raised an eyebrow, reading the advertisement. “And for that price?”

“Exactly, it’s cheaper than any other house we looked at and it’s got more or less everything we wanted,” Nicola grinned, hoping that Killian would agree with her urge to at least go and view the property in person. “Do you think it’s worth checking the place out? Killy, even the name of the town sounds wonderful. Storybrooke .”

Killian stayed quiet for a moment, this would be a big step for the two of them. They would have to find new jobs, however, he was well aware of the health of Nicola’s father. “I don’t see what harm it could do and the school holidays are coming up soon. Leave it with me, I’ll call the number and see what I can do,” he nodded, rather impressed by the house too. “I’ll also make sure that the price isn’t a typo, because it’s great place way under budget.” “Oh honey, I knew you’d agree,” Nicola smiled wider, growing excited at the opportunity to take a look at the house. The perfect place for the two of them to spend their future together and perhaps have a family. There were enough rooms for a couple of additions. Nicola had had boyfriends in the past, but none of them held a candle to Killian. He was charming, loving, talented and had the ability to make her feel that she was the most important person in his world. She loved Killian with all her heart.  

“Listen, we’re getting called back into court,” Nicola said to her boyfriend after being interrupted and told the jury had reached a decision. “Let me know what they say when we get home tonight yeah? Over Chinese? And then maybe a movie?”

“A movie night and Chinese takeaway with my girl? Nicola, you have a deal darling,” Killian couldn’t resist using a flirtatious tone to his girlfriend. The loved up couple exchanged farewells before Killian hung up the phone as the class of students he was teaching that afternoon walked into the room.

“Hey Mr Jones,” Lawrence, one of the students greeted to the teacher he looked up to. Killian inspired him and several other students in the school to explore their musical talents since the English teacher took up the role of head of the school’s Music Club . The previous music teacher had retired a few weeks after Killian joined the school and when she did, Killian had been more than eager to be her successor. “Good luck for your show tonight, my mom and dad are going. I tried to get them to take me, but it’s a school night and they want me completing my homework.”

“Thanks Lawrence,” Killian replied as he put the newspaper away in his bag, preparing for the lesson. “And mate, your parents are right, you do have your English assignment due on Monday,” he reminded with a smirk and turned to address the rest of his class. “Alright everyone settle down everyone, we have a lot planned for today’s lesson beginning with your mid-term results. I have to say you all did me and yourselves proud so well done,” Killian revealed, giving out the papers he had marked. Seeing how happy his students were to see their results stood as a reminder why Killian began teaching in the first place. He was actually making a difference in their lives, especially the students whose work improved considerably with Killian’s help.

That was the main reason Killian had reservations about moving to Maine. He loved teaching, especially at that school he had worked at for nearly four years. Killian knew that if he and Nicola did decide to relocate together, his colleagues and students weren’t exactly going to be pleased to know he was leaving. Being the caring teacher that he was, Killian didn’t want his students to think he was letting them down.

“Now, I hope you all did the reading I set for you because we’re going to start this lesson off with a class discussion,” Killian began, sitting on the edge of his desk with a book in his hands. “However, who would like to start the recap on the events of the four chapters? To help your colleagues who haven’t read them?” he offered, gesturing with his hands to welcome volunteers as he looked around the classroom. “Hmm? Alright Sharon go ahead.” “Well , when Jane and Mr Rochester reach the altar and are about to be married, one of the strangers watching the proceedings objects to the wedding, stating that the wedding can’t go ahead because Mr Rochester is already married,” Sharon began, she was a ginger girl who clearly loved the book they were studying. The rather intelligent student stood up at her table as she continued the explanation Killian asked from her. “His wife of fifteen years, Bertha is insane and Mr Rochester keeps her locked away and she’s basically the ghoulish sounds Jane hears earlier in the story. Jane is the only one who doesn’t know about the woman and Mr Rochester takes Jane and the wedding guests to meet Bertha to the room where she’s hidden to see why he kept her secret. That she’s violent as well as crazy.”

“Excellent, that’s a perfect account of the wedding, well done,” Killian praised with a smile, unaware of the slight similarities between his life and the book. He too was married while being in love with another woman. However, unlike Mr Rochester, Killian had no idea of his real life or that Emma even existed. “Like anyone would be, Jane is heartbroken and locks herself away in her own room before deciding to leave Thornfield despite Mr Rochester’s apologies and offer of a new proposal in France. Using the book as evidence why do you think that is? Yes, Jonathan?”

“Basically, Jane believes that she’ll be nothing more than Rochester’s mistress while Bertha is alive.” The boy replied as Sharon sat back down. This was how the English lessons dedicated to the reading material tended to begin. With a discussion on the chapter Killian gave them to read as homework.  “We learn that Rochester was pretty much made to marry Bertha by his father over in Jamaica but wasn’t told of the fact her family had a hereditary mental condition.  He only finds out when shows signs of madness during their marriage.”

“Great, that’s just what I was expecting to hear. I think it’s fair to say that the Rochester is as messed up as they get,” Killian joked, getting a few laughs of agreement from his students. They really did enjoy their lessons with Killian, he made English fun compared to the English teachers before him. “Yes Ashley?” he asked seeing another student raising her hand.

“Mr Jones sir, I think we need to clarify that it was the dream Jane had of her mother convincing her to leave Thornton that eventually made Jane decide it was right for her to go,” Ashley pointed out, glad to see her teacher was impressed by her observation.

“I was hoping someone would point that out, because it brings me to our subject of discussion for today,” Killian clapped his hands together as he stood up from the desk. He then went over to the whiteboard, writing down a few points for his class to keep in mind while he spoke. “Bronte clearly states that Jane was conflicted in her decision to leave. Do you think she was too brash and should have stayed given what she learnt about the man she loved? Leaving Thornton would be risky for her and even Jane experienced doubts about finding another man to love her like Mr Rochester,” he explained, writing down the relevant quote to support what he was saying. “Should she have tried to understand Mr Rochester’s perspective? Was he justified in keeping the secret of Bertha from Jane? Or did he deserve have Jane run out of him? I’ll leave that for you to discuss. Let’s hear your ideas.”

Tagging a few users who might like the story. I’d love to know what you think! @yayimallamaagain @phiralovesloki @lenfaz @flipperbrain@cocohook38@hollyethecurious@winterbaby89@xhookswenchx@teamhook@resident-of-storybrooke@fairytalesandtimetravel@aye-captn@captainswanbookclub@captainswanbigbang@goldengirlschildhood@themilahskillybear@the-corsair-and-her-quill @clockadile@wellhellotragic @killian-whump@blittrellzsouthernangel@yayimallamaagain@sherlockianwhovian@snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89

[ravennest1342-blog]

BTS Fanfic Recommendations

Ok, so I don’t know if it’s considered weird to hype up other people when you write fan fiction and basically turn the attention away from yourself but IDK because I’ve been dying to share all my favorite fanfics with you guys! I hope you enjoy this, most (if not all) of these will be on AO3! A few will be from here, here being Tumblr. I’m such a dork, omg don’t look at me! But read! Read these beauties and leave me be!!!!! 😂Also, I’ll be putting warnings beside the ones that have smut/BDSM/or anything else that’s weird. A lot of these will have smut because for a long time I was really insecure about writing smut so I tended to read books that advertised it in order to know what the hell I was actually writing.

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The Songbird and the Sea

Author — MissterMaia (follow her on Twitter she’s actually hilarious and I love her)

Pairing — Yoonmin, with side Namjin and Taekook.

Rating— Mature (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly. But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

My thoughts — omg, where do I begin? God this book was so beautiful. The character development! The plot! The ROMANCE! AH! It was such a perfect work of art! I never felt bored like at all and normally I get bored pretty easy on long chaptered books like this! She’s also getting the book published! (With different character names obviously and it’s like super edited.) I don’t know what else to say other than GO READ THIS!!! SHE IS THE QUEEN OF YOONMIN!! YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

Hidden Omega

Author — LadyPrussia

Pairing — Namjoon Centric

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — At 21 Namjoon still hasn't presented leaving him as a dud, with the BTS pack having their own issues and not treating him like a real member a tragic event forces Namjoon's body to present as an omega. Is it really too late for BTS to win Namjoon's heart? Or will one of the 4 other packs steal it instead? Or maybe a darkhorse will appear.

My Thoughts — this book is great! Not only is it super long (over eighty chapters) and still being updated, but the character development is super refreshing. Forewarning though, the author has said that there is a good chance Namjoon won’t end up in the Bangtan Pack but a different one, and originally that made me upset, but with the way she painted the story I actually don’t care what Pack he ends up with; their all beautiful and it’s an amazing book! Lots of drama and angst for you angst lovers out there!

No Spell can Cure Shyness

Author — MissterMaia (seriously — I love her)

Pairing — Yoonmin, mentioned Namjin, Side Taekook

Rating — teens and up

Description — Yoongi really doesn’t expect the witchboy who sent him an accidental text to be the prettiest boy he's ever seen in all his life. Or the nicest. Or the kindest. Or just the best in every possible way. Painfully shy and (un)smooth as he is, Yoongi decides the best way to approach this Jimin person is in the form of a cat. A cat who can't talk. Great plan, Yoongi.

My Thoughts — The FLUFF!!! I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this book! All of this woman’s works are masterpieces that need to be appreciated! Yoongi is so shy it’s hilarious and he has the most extra reactions to like everything — and and I LOVE!!! YOU need to read it! Stop whatever your doing and go read it!

Saltation

Author — momora

Pairing — Yoonmin, side Taekook, and Namjin

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — Jimin had grown up watching his mother sort the point-oh-one percent beta defaults into the alpha-omega communities, but that doesn't make being a part of the statistic much easier. He'd be doing okay at this new omega thing if that watchful alpha Min Yoongi could stay out of the situation. He just wants to settle into his new life and finish his useless degree already. Instead, all hell breaks loose.

My Thoughts — This book is the one of the best a/b/o fics I have ever read in my entire life! Alpha’s and Omega’s live separate from Beta’s due to different instincts and Jimin was born in the beta community but presented as an omega. And it’s really funny because He keeps slipping up and doing/saying things that leave everyone else kind of like (0.0) The writing is fantastic! The characters are absolutely riveting as is the plot and the AUTHOR KEEPS TEADING ME ON TWITTER ABOUT HER NEXT UPDATE AND HOLY HELL IM BREAKING DOWN OVER HERE!!!

Jammed

Author — minverse

Pairing — Vmin, side Yoonseok, maybe Namjin?

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description —The rational part of Jimin's brain screams at him to remember what his mother said about strangers and vans. But the rational part of his brain is no match for really bad whiskey and Kim Taehyung. ((au where Jimin gets stuck on the interstate in the middle of a blizzard and Taehyung lives in a van))

My Thoughts — this book! *wheezes from laughter* is so funny! Jimin is trying to make it to Yoongi and Hoseok’s wedding (which he is kind of dreading because Hoseok is trying to set him up with his own best man) and he gets stuck in a blizzard and boom there’s Taehyung! A renowned author that decided to live in his van and travel the world while writing his new book. This book was so funny you guys! I was dying, there was a smut scene and it was pretty great. The whole book was phenomenal and I loved it so much. Because I have literally no self control I’m gonna add a sneak peak.

NU ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin

Author — decompositionbooks

Pairing — Jikook

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully.)

Description — The world didn't think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin's handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.

My Thoughts — this book was so good! Omega’s are really rare and Jimin is so against the stereotypes put on omega’s and he is CONVINCED that Jungkook thinks of him as a tiny child that needs protection and he’s such a little ball of rage and god it’s so funny and he’s so sarcastic and furious that he’s being forced into this cutesy image (that he refuses to admit he likes) and it’s so cute and hilarious.

In Your Eyes

Author — TrappingLighteningBugs

Pairing — Jikook

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut and light dim/sub in this so tread carefully)

Description — On nights where everything seems against him, Jimin wishes he could take Jungkook down a few pegs.

My Thoughts — I originally read this because I was trying to expand my view on what a dom!Jimin would look like for my Bunny Breath book but I actually really liked this a lot. The characterization was good, it wasn’t like most smut oneshots where the characters go at with like literally no push and seems to be mildly dubious consent. This was well thought out and I enjoyed reading it.

A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Author — blimpish

Pairing — Junghope

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut so tread carefully)

Description — When Jeongguk decides it's time to live out his fantasy of being knotted, he determines that Hoseok is the best (read: least awful) candidate for the job.

My Thoughts — I read this book because I’m a hoe for Junghope. But it’s really good! I remember feeling mildly dubious about it until I got to this really funny scene when Jungkook (a beta) asks Jimin (an omega)if he knows any alpha’s that wouldn’t be weirded out bu having sex with a beta and Jimin’s just like “I know three but your not gonna like it.” And after that it’s a hilarious conversation of them deciding which of their friends would be the least cringe worthy for Jungkook to sleep with. Jimin admits that Hoseok is great and it goes from there. BUT THERE IS A PLOT LINE!!! ITS NOT JUST SMUT!!

Unfamiliars

Author— themarmalade

Pairing — Yoonseok (my library is mostly Yoonseok.)

Rating — Mature (I can’t remember if there’s smut and it’s a long book so I don’t want to go read through all of it. Fuck I totally will but that’s beside the point. Read the tags when you click on the link.)

Description — Hoseok rescues a kitty in a summer storm. Thanks to some weird magic, Yoongi is that kitty. In a tiny apartment full of plants and moonlight, a simple, aching happiness blooms. But with what Jungkook knows, how long can the happiness last?

My Thoughts — this is so cute! Yoongi is just minding his own business when he accidentally steps into a warlocks spell pentagram and gets turned into a cat by Jin, he positively freaks the fuck out runs away, gets picked up by Hobi and things go from there. It’s so cute and soft and ima go read it BYE!!!!

Bad at Love

Author — shooky__bear

Pairing — Yoonseok with side Namjin.

Rating — Explicit (there is smut and definite don/sub so tread carefully.)

Description —Yoongi was pretty sure he was straight. Pretty sure (And not remotely interested in love or Jung Hoseok.) Alternatively ; that fic where yoon thinks he's straight and he's a bit of a slut and keeps fucking girls tho he likes hoseok and seoks a Patient Loving Gay who waits and Supports yoon through his Gay Crisis.

My Thoughts — this book is full of so much emotion and general truth. I love it so much, I cried several times when reading and admittedly geared up at the end. Hoseok was so sweet and patient and he had to literally teach Yoongi that it was ok to trust him and crap now I’m crying.

Take Me to the Edge

Author — Nasobem

Pairing — Yoonseok

Rating — Explicit (there is smut and Don/sub undertones so tread carefully)

Description —Yoongi takes a pointed step backwards and glares at "Hobi". "What the fuck kind of name is that," he says, "and don't touch me." Namjoon makes a funny noise. Yoongi ignores it for the sake of eviscerating "Hobi" with his stare. It seems to be weirdly ineffective. Or Yoongi is hired to work Tech Support and Security for Jung Corp and it'd honestly be pretty chill if it wasn't for this one obnoxiously handsome dude whose life mission it seems to be to bother Yoongi until he breaks.

My Thoughts— I love this book. Yoongi is such an angry little bean and Hoseok literally just wants to make him happy — the Maknae Line are little shits but what’s new there? This whole book is amazing. I wish I could find a good Vmin/Vhope/Minjoon/Sugakookie book like this. *cries*

Our Burned Bridges

Author — tendershipping (nothing about her ships are tender! *sobs*)

Pairing — Vminkook (she’s the Vmin queen)

Rating — Mature (no smut but brutal themes so tread carefully)

Description —Agent Jeon Jeongguk is given a cover story and assigned to guard amnesiac Kim Taehyung. (Taehyung has nightmares most nights after he wakes, at first. He screams and cries names Jeongguk doesn’t recognize, always one in particular—Jimin.)

My Thoughts— I’m, I’m so EMOTIONAL!!! I read it and was a literal mess halfway through and IT JUST GOT MORE DARK and *chokes* Vmin we’re MARRIED and enter Jimin who seems so bitter and mean and sarcastic but he’s really just broken and angry about things and — go read this. It has a happy ending to so win win.

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I have been so active tonight shit. Idk why. You know what. I’ma wait till tomorrow to upload this.

Is it tomorrow? It’s tomorrow. Have fun with this wonderful list of my FAVORITE FANFICS (only the Songbird and The Sea is my favorite lol)

[swans-and-pirates]

The Art of Remembering (12/?)

Summary: Killian hasn’t seen Emma in months, not since she ran off in the middle of the night. But when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that she’s been in an accident he rushes to be by her side. Nervous and anxious to see her again he’s not sure what to expect—but he definitely doesn’t anticipate that upon waking she would have no idea who he is. Modern au

Rating: T

Also on: ff.net, ao3 

Catch up: first chapter, previous chapter

a/n: I know this chapter took longer than usual, but life was insane for a bit. Thanks for being patient and I hope it was worth the wait. I love every ounce of love you guys give this story. As always full italics are memories. 

The number six on his front door is just slightly crooked. He’s never noticed it, but then again Killian’s never had a reason to stare at his front door for such a prolonged period of time before. Until today he’d never noticed the slightly chipped paint in the bottom right corner, or how the dark stain of the wood is fading around the edges.

His door is daunting, he decides as he stands in front of it and runs a nervous hand through his hair. The roses in his hand crinkle slightly as he shifts a bit on his feet, his grip around their stems tightening as he holds his breath for a moment before releasing it in one hard gust of air.

He’d debated on whether or not to just walk in—it is his house after all—but after much, and more than likely unnecessary, internal struggle he’d decided to stay outside and knock.

And he probably is putting too much thought into this, but he figures he should pick her up like any gentleman should for a first date…though this isn’t really a first date.

But in a way it kind of is, at least to her.

And it might as well be for him, considering what a mess he is at the moment.

If someone had told him, back when all of this started and he was sitting in a hospital chair terrified out of his mind, that a little over a month and a half later he’d be standing outside his front door with a bouquet of roses in his hand about to go on a second “first” date with Emma Swan he would have laughed in their face.

Impossible is what he would have told them.

But here he is, trying to muster up the courage to knock on his own front door.

Nerves twirl and dance in his stomach and he swallows thickly in the hopes of settling them. But it does nothing, and he’s pretty sure his heart is beating so fast he can hear it hammering away in his ears.

He breathes in deep, his chest expanding as he tries to remind himself that she asked him out, and that he’s no stranger when it comes to knowing what to expect when dating Emma Swan.

But still, there’s a slight shake in his hand when he lifts it and pounds it a few times against the door.

It feels like hardly a second passes before the door swings open and the light of his apartment is flooding the hallway.

His eyes flit up and it’s like the air inside of him suddenly rushes out, and he’s unable to draw anymore in as he does nothing more than gape at her.

She’s lovely. Her hair falls in gentle waves past her shoulders and down her back, while dark jeans and a soft, cream sweater wrap around her small figure. Her sweater’s rounded neckline reveals just the tiniest hint of her collar bones, and its tantalizing in ways he can’t fully explain.

“Hi,” he breathes, the word a hoarse whisper at best.  

A delightful blush fills her cheeks at his greeting, and it’s just then that Killian realizes she’d been gaping at him just as speechless.

“You look stunning, Swan,” he continues, finally stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind him.

She stares at him a second longer, licking her lips before giving her head an almost imperceptible shake as she seems to recollect her scattered thoughts. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

His lips tip in a slight smile and his eyebrow arches playfully at the compliment before he seems to remember the roses in his hand. He lifts them in one quick motion and offers them to her. “These are for you.”

Her eyes light up as she takes them, a bright smile gracing her lips as she lifts the flowers and buries her nose in them. Her eyes close briefly as she inhales, her long lashes brushing her cheekbones.

And bloody hell, she’s beautiful.

“Thank you.” She beams up at him, lowering the flowers.

Killian scratches behind his ear and shrugs one shoulder in lieu of a response, but try as he might to seem casual, his stomach is still somersaulting and his heart is still trying to fly from his chest.

It’s not hard for him to realize that he’s quickly tumbling downhill when it comes to tangling his feelings with hers. Ever since he kissed her the other night his intentions of keeping her at a distance—to help her heal and then move on—are rapidly coming undone.

It’s impossible for him to be around her and not be completely and utterly in love with her.

But loving her has always been the easy part. Loving her is what is puts his world in balance, it’s easy. It’s natural.  It’s the losing her part that is hard and complicated.

And maybe he’s a fool, but he can’t help but hope that maybe this time he won’t have to.

“We should put these in a vase.”

Her words jerk him from his thoughts and, realizing he’s staring again, Killian swallows and blinks hard a few times in an effort to pull himself together. “Aye, we should.” He clears his throat and indicates in the direction just behind her. “There are vases in the kitchen.”

She gives a small nod before twirling on the balls of her feet, her hair swinging as she pivots and heads towards the kitchen. He follows after her, only passing her so he can rummage in a cabinet, dishware clinking together until he finds what he’s looking for.

With a vase in hand he straightens and heads for the sink. For a moment the only sound between them is the water rushing from the faucet and the snap of Emma cutting the ends of the stems off the roses with a pair of scissors.

Turning off the water, he makes his way to stand behind her, reaching around and placing the vase on the counter. Emma sets the roses inside, arranging them for a moment with a tilt of her head.

“There,” she breathes as she finishes positioning one of the roses.

“Looks lovely,” he smiles as Emma turns towards him. Their chests are only inches apart, and Killian could count the gold specks sparkling in her green eyes she’s so close.

She rises ever so slightly, as if she means to kiss him, and Killian can’t help but smirk as he runs a hand down her arm and threads his fingers with hers. If he starts kissing her now he’s not sure he’ll have the strength to leave the apartment. And he really wants to go on this date with her. “We should get going. I have quite the evening planned for you, Swan.”

She hums as she lowers herself and threads their fingers together, taking the initiative to tug him towards the front door, a breathtaking smile on her lips. “I can’t wait.”

~

“Our date is at the docks?”

Her question is curious and he can hear the smile in her tone even if the night sky prevents him from seeing it properly.

“A little more specific than the docks,” he answers in turn, thoroughly enjoying himself. It’s amazing, how natural it feels to walk down the harbor with her hand in his, and the rhythm of the ocean’s swells beside them. Almost as if the last few months without her never happened.

And the way she’s tucked herself into his side in an effort to shield herself from the bite of the cold air isn’t helping matters. The nerves on the entire right side of his body are alive and burning, acutely aware of every inch of her that’s pressed against him.

“Alright, Emma,” he says in a low voice when they reach their destination. “I’d like to introduce you to my beloved ship, the Jolly Roger.” He gestures up towards his ship. He’d purposefully left the sails at full mast for the evening, and he’s not disappointed by the definite look of awe on Emma’s face as she stares up at the traditional sailing ship.

She gapes at it a little longer, her eyes drinking in every inch of it before she whips her head to look back at him. “Is it really yours?” There’s a sense of wonder in her tone that has Killian beaming.

“Aye, she is. Took quite a bit of savings to get her, but I’d dreamt of having a ship just like her since I was a lad. We use her in some of the historical tours, so over the years she’s earned me my money back and then some.”

Emma arches her brow, a bit of a smirk in her eyes as she considers the ship. “And what do your patrons think about taking a tour of the Boston harbor in a pirate ship?”

Killian laughs. “Ah, well we might keep her true name under wraps on tours for the sake of appearances.”

“Clever,” Emma laughs, and Killian smiles with her for a moment before gesturing up at the gangplank.

“Would you like to come aboard?”

She nods, and Killian places a hand at her back and leads her forward, letting her walk up the gangplank and onto the ship before him, his chest constricting as he waits for her to see what he’s set up in the middle of the deck.

She comes to a halt rather suddenly, and Killian bites at his lips as he waits.

“Killian…”

Her tone is breathless and quiet, and his name is all she can seem to get out.

Still nervous, Killian steps up behind her and leans forward until his lips are next to her ear. “What do you think?”

She startles slightly, before turning to him with wide eyes. “It’s beautiful.”

In the middle of the deck he’d set up a small table and a couple of chairs. He hadn’t had a lot of time but he’d managed to gather some candles to light their evening, and to try and give the table at least some measure of romance. It isn’t much, but her reaction is more than enough to warm his heart.

He smiles at her before taking her hand and gently leading her to the table and pulling out a chair for her. She sits gracefully, tucking her hair behind her ears before scooting herself a little closer to the table.

Joining her on the other side, Killian begins removing the dishes he has set up on warmers, placing the lids on the ground beside him, and then arranging the various pans on the table in front of him.

Emma eyes it all for a moment before she raises her eyebrows. “Italian?” There’s an impressed lift in her voice that makes him chuckle lowly.

“I didn’t make it,” he admits. “I picked it up from a little restaurant we went to on our first date. Thought it might trigger some memories for you.”

“Oh.”

He barely hears it, that one, tiny oh is more of a breath than anything. But when he locks his eyes with hers, he doesn’t miss the water glistening in them. She inhales, and he swears her chest shakes slightly, before she blinks the water away and tips her lips upward. And he doesn’t miss the way she tucks the moment of emotion away and out of sight.

“Well I love Italian food,” she says as she reaches forward for one of the breadsticks and places it on her plate.

He follows her lead and grabs a breadstick of his own, meeting her gaze with a smile. “I know.”

They eat, and they talk, and they laugh, and as the night wears on it becomes more and more apparent to Killian just how far gone he is in all of this. There’s no way he can untangle himself from this situation and walk away unscathed. And this, allowing himself to get involved with Emma again, is either going to end up devastating him or it’s going to be the best thing that ever happened to him.

And again, maybe he’s a fool, but he can’t help but feel like it’s going to be the latter.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but he doesn’t think he’s imagining the softness in Emma’s eyes when she looks at him. It’s like every day her gaze seems just a little more knowing, and he often wonders if she’s remembering more than she’s letting on.

He sees love in her eyes.

And he knows he’s not imagining it because he’s seen it before, he’s had it before.

He’s in this too deep now, and there’s nothing he can do about it. But he should’ve known that there was no way he could be in Emma’s life without being entirely in love with her.

Liam’s going to kill him when he finds out.

~

Emma rests her forearms on the railing and stares down at the dark water below. There’s just enough light from the glow of the city that she can watch the water rise and fall in little waves. It’s quiet. And when she lifts her gaze and sees nothing but sky and sea it’s like the city is an entire world away.

She turns her head to watch Killian. He’s next to her, leaning with his back to the railing and his head tipped up towards the sky. The wind plays with his hair as he inhales deeply and closes his eyes, a peaceful smile on his lips.

“I can see why you like it out here.” Her voice is just a whisper, quieter than the wind around them, but Killian hears. His eyes open and his gaze drifts down to meet hers. “It’s quiet,” she continues, “and peaceful.”

He watches her for a moment before pushing himself off the railing only to turn around and match her, placing his forearms on the railing and looking out at the water.

“Aye, it is.” He pauses, and then shifts his focus to her face. “It’s one of the reasons you loved coming out here so much.”

“Did we come here a lot?” she asks, taking her arms off the railing and shifting so her body his facing his. She wants nothing more to take a step forward, close the small distance between them, but she doesn’t.

Killian’s eyes soften as a small smile breaks across his face and he lifts a hand to tuck an errant hair behind her ear, trailing his thumb down the side of her face as he finishes. “We did.”

“Well,” she prompts wanting to know more, a smile of her own forming. “What would we do?”

He breathes in an exaggerated breath, his chest rising and falling visibly.  

“We’d go sailing, alone, or sometimes you’d come on tours with me. Sometimes we’d just leave her docked and come out here during the day and you’d paint while I got a few things done on her or the other ships. Sometimes we’d come here at night, just like this, and share dinner, or stare at the stars and spend the night. Then there was the first time I got you to dance with me, I think that was my favorite.”

She can feel her smile growing as she laughs a little. “We danced?”

“We did,” he confirms, his voice softening. “I took your hand and pulled you towards me.” He does just that, taking her hand and leading her away from the railing, pulling her into his arms and resting a hand at her waist. “And we danced, just like this. No music except the sound of the waves.”

His words fade as they begin to sway and, a little speechless, Emma stares up at him. The places where their bodies meet—the hand he’s holding, the spot on her waist where his hand rests, the every so slight touch of their chests—they all burn with a delicious warmth that spreads through her like thick liquid fire.

Normally, she’d wish she could remember the moment he’s talking about; she’d curse the amnesia for taking the memory from her. But here, as their movements seem to synchronize with the sway of the ship, she can’t help but think this is better than any memory.

Eventually, she feels them shifting even closer until she’s melting into him, her head resting against his chest. She closes her eyes and breathes him in just as she feels his lips press against the top of her head.

She finds herself sighing, even as her heart begins to beat faster, an overwhelming feeling forming in her chest.

Every day she remembers him a little more, and every day she’s sure that he was wrong when he said he wasn’t sure if she loved him.

She did. She does.

Raising her head, she meets his eyes again. “Killian, I…”

She licks her lips, meaning to say more, meaning to tell him what she’s feeling. But the look in his eyes seems to steal her words and distract her thoughts, and instead she finds herself raising on her toes and pressing her lips to his.

He inhales, breathing her in as his hand at her waist moves to tangle in her hair. And as their lips move, and his tongue slips in to meet hers, she groans, her hands fisting in his collar as she pulls him closer.

Every coherent thought and well-intended intention of mentioning feelings disappears when one of his hands falls to her hip—because damn does she love kissing him.

~

“I’m so sorry, darling.”

She shrugs, burrowing deeper into his side and rests her hand at his chest. “You didn’t do anything.”

Killian shifts and tucks an arm behind his head while the other hand traces a light path up and down her arm. “Doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could take away the pain it caused you.”

Emma swallows in the silence that follows his declaration and stares up at the night sky. The stars blink at her, brilliant as diamonds scattered on black silk. It’s warm here—lying with Killian in their makeshift bed of pillows and blankets on the deck of the Jolly—but still, she can’t quite shake the tightness in her chest.

She supposes it’s just what comes with having your entire life be a silent fight to try and be okay.

She hadn’t meant to share as much as she has, not tonight, not so soon. Yet here she is, laying bare every shadow that’s ever haunted her.

Being tossed from foster home to foster home, her complete lack of family, and the petty thievery in her youth that was really just a young girl doing her best to survive, all combine to make one pretty messed up girl who won’t admit on most days that she has an intense case of abandonment issues.

Her life isn’t easy for her to share, but there’s a safety in Killian’s arms that somehow makes it just that…

Easy.

With a deep breath she begins tracing nondescript circles on his chest as she continues on with a tale that wrenches on her heart more than most.

“I thought I loved him. I’d never really loved anyone before and I was young and I thought—“ Her chest shudders as she sucks in a desperate breath of air. “Well it doesn’t really matter what I thought. Neal, he just had this way of spinning these bright pictures of a happy future and I ate up every word. I ended up stealing some things for him, pawning them off for some money and gathering every penny I’d ever saved to meet up at some beat up motel miles from nowhere.”

Traitor tears form in her eyes and she blinks them away furiously, refusing to let herself cry over this again. “It’s a long story,” she continues, “But he essentially let me know that me and my emotional baggage weren’t worth loving, and took everything and left. I was stranded in the middle of nowhere with no money and no home. At that point I knew he’d used me, but still I waited around three days to see if he’d change his mind and come back. He didn’t, and it took me a very long time to get over it.”

Sometimes she wonders if she’s still not over it. If there’s a scar somewhere that she thinks is healed, but is really just hiding away and keeping her from allowing someone to love her.

It’s terrifying though, to try and let yourself fall again when you don’t really believe anyone will be there to catch you.

Emma wipes at an escaped tear and sniffs just as Killian wraps both arms around her and pulls her even closer against him. He holds her for a minute, pressing his forehead to the side of her head, his nose skimming her cheek every so often.

“You do not deserve the hand life has dealt you, love.” He’s so close that his words tickle against her ear. “What you deserve is to spend the rest of your life happy, and carefree, and loved in order to make up for all you’ve been through.”

Killian presses a kiss to her head and a pathetic smile lifts Emma’s lips. “It’s a nice thought, but I don’t think life works that way.”

She feels Killian sigh beneath her as he shifts and lifts and arm to point at the sky above them.

“You see those stars right there? They’re bright and form a cross? That right there is known as the Cygnus, or the Swan. The stars that make it up are some of the brightest in that patch of constellations and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they share your name.”

He drops his hand back to her waist and Emma can’t help the smile that starts to fill her lips. “And why’s that?”

“Because you, darling Swan, are not a star that dims. Despite what you’ve been through, you haven’t let it dim your heart, or your spirt, or who you are. And it’s amazing and bloody inspiring and makes you downright beautiful.” Propping himself on his elbow, Killian hovers over her, his eyes fliting back and forth as they look into hers. “So maybe life isn’t that way, and maybe there’ll be more heartache in your path. But I know you’ll survive it, and I know that against the odds you’ll shine brighter because of it.”

Emma sucks in a long breath as she stares up at him. He’s completely overwhelming sometimes. It makes her heart pound and she’ll admit it scares her just a little, but the feelings stirring in her chest aren’t any quite like she’s felt before.

Her fingers toy with his collar for a moment before they curl around it and gently pull him towards her, their lips meeting in a sweet kiss.

Maybe she’s managed to find love after all, despite Neal and the scars he left.

~

The wall is solid at her back and Killian’s hands are warm at her waist as his lips nip and tug against her own.

He’d insisted on walking her to the door, arched his eyebrow as he’d quipped about her letting him end the date properly. Only it’s his apartment and they can’t really say goodbye at his front door when he’s just going to follow her inside.

So instead he’d promptly walked her down the hall and stopped outside her bedroom door, and saying goodnight had easily turned into a goodnight kiss, which had just as easily gotten a little carried away. But she’ll be the first to admit that she very much enjoys the way he has her pressed up against the hallway wall.

“I had a good time,” she finally gasps, breathless as his mouth releases hers and he presses his forehead against her own.  

The back of his finger skims the apple of her cheek, his eyes still focused on her lips. His lashes look so incredibly dark this close up.

“Aye, I did too.”

She can’t help but press her lips together as she tries to hide her smile. “Good.”

He lingers with his forehead pressed to hers for a moment, and Emma bites at her lip, seriously contemplating just tugging him the last few feet into her bedroom and getting rid of the necessity to say goodnight entirely.

But it’s almost like he senses her thoughts because he sighs—and it almost sounds more like a groan as he untangles himself from her hold and steps away.

She misses his warmth immediately, but she can’t help but smile, amused as she watches him run a clearly frustrated hand through his hair as he looks down at their feet.

It doesn’t look like she’s the only one that wouldn’t object to continuing their date in the confines of her room.

His cheeks puff out as he blows out an exasperated breath and drops his arm to his side. “I’ll see you in the morning, love. Sleep well.”

“You too,” she says as she pushes herself from the wall and makes a step towards her door.

Her hand touches the doorknob only briefly when a thought shoves its way into the front of her mind and she turns to find Killian already across the hall but not quite to his room yet.

“You were wrong, you know,” she calls after him gently.

He turns to her, confusion knitted at his brow. “What do you mean?”

“You were wrong,” she repeats as she reflects over one of her more recently returned memories. “The other day when you said you weren’t sure if I loved you…you were wrong.”

Killian’s eyes widen slightly as his lips fall open. He moves his mouth as if to say something, but the words get stuck on the way up because he only continues to gape at her.

Suddenly self-conscious, Emma looks down at her fingers as she plays with her nails. She has no idea what spurred her on to share this, but she can’t take it back now.  

She sucks in a quick breath before looking back up at him and begins to try and clarify her sudden declaration. “There was a night, out on your ship, where I shared with you the darkest parts of my life. Things that most days I forbid myself from even thinking, and you…” She pauses, shaking her head dazed as she relives it for a moment. “You pointed out the stars.”

She watches as Killian swallows, but still he doesn’t say anything.

“And I’m saying that I think that’s when I…” She stammers, scared to admit what she’s so close to admitting. Because there’s still so much she doesn’t remember, and there’s still this unspoken heartache between them, but each and every day she just finds herself more and more sure of him. “You were wrong when you said I didn’t love you,” she repeats again, because these words are a little easier. “I-I think I did.”

Killian hasn’t moved a muscle since she started speaking, a statue stunned speechless.

Her heart could very easily race right out of her chest at the moment—she can feel it pulsing against her sternum, rapid and erratic.

But still Killian doesn’t move.

“Emma—” He chokes on her name before he stutters on air, the rest of his words lost.

She doesn’t think she’ll get much more from him tonight, and trying to appear as though she has more control over her feelings than she actually does, Emma takes a step back towards her room. “Well, good night.” She turns, closing her eyes and exhaling as she opens the door and makes her way into her room, closing the door softly behind her.

When the door is closed Emma’s forehead falls and thumps lightly against the white wood. She stays there, calming her breathing as she tries not to think about Killian , or the way he’s probably still standing out there completely stunned.

[seriouslyhooked]

Souvenirs (A CS AU) Part 4/14

A Modern CS AU where Emma has grown up in Maine her whole life and runs a store with Ruby and MM. Killian Jones is the new guy in town, who just bought the local bar. Only Emma and Killian have met before and now she can’t help but wonder if their past has influenced his plans for the future. Includes tons of fluff and a happily ever after. Rated M.

Part One Here, Part Two Here, Part Three Here

A/N: This chapter includes the after-effects of the first date and Emma has a flashback to the night she and Killian met. It also features fluff and smut and gossip amongst friends, so really just your typical fare from me. Hope you guys enjoy and thanks for reading!

Never in her life would anyone have accused Emma Swan of being a romantic. In fact, the only place she truly showed a softer sight was in her design work. She had a reputation as someone who was fiercely loyal to her friends, hard working, and a little guarded. That was the person she portrayed to the world, and doing so had long made her feel more in control.

This past weekend had easily destroyed that reputation. After a fantastic first date (and first night) with Killian, Emma had been positively glowing and even she could admit it. Everyone got an extra bright smile and a chipper ‘good morning.’ Perhaps she could have kept the cause for the good mood under wraps, but it was a dead giveaway since most of the weekend, as she was passing those surprised townsfolk, she was walking hand in hand with Killian.

What started out as a single date expanded to essentially a full weekend of them being in each other’s company, and come Sunday night when the real world was knocking at both of their doors and the reality that she had work the next morning set in, Emma was sad to see the happy bubble they’d been in go.

“I should have known you’d be the type to parade your boyfriend once you finally found someone half decent to like.” Ruby’s comment pulled Emma back from thoughts of this weekend and into Three Fates once more.

“I didn’t parade him around.” She totally had.

“Oh really? I got ten texts from five different people over the course of two days with different Emma and beau sightings.”

“Beau? It was the gaggle of ladies at Granny’s sending you those updates?!” Ruby nodded.

“They tweeted about it too.” Mary Margaret’s off-handed comment from the back pulled a groan from Emma.

“Of course they did.” Emma sighed as she organized the layout of the jewelry case, but she could feel the stares of her two friends, as if they were waiting her out. She had two options. The first was to tell them everything they were no doubt dying to ask her, and the other… well basically she could try to run and miserably fail because Ruby was taller and faster and in way better shape.

“So…”

“It was perfect, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“Yes!” Both her friends happily yelled as they did individual happy dances. It was borderline hysterical since neither of them had any shame or any rhythm, but Emma knew the moment would end and an interrogation would begin.

“Where did he take you?” She told them. Queue the expected dreamy sighs and protesting of jealousy.

“How did you end the night?” They hadn’t technically, and the admission gained favor from Ruby and surprise (but less judgment than anticipated) from Mary Margaret.

“What took him so long?” Since Emma didn’t really have an answer to that, an awkward lull passed between them all for a moment.

“I think it was something to do with his brother, but I didn’t really push.”

“Good for you. He’s here now and that’s what counts right?” Mary Margaret was so good at keeping positive, but Ruby looked less enthusiastic.

“Not knowing doesn’t bother you?” Emma considered the question.

“No. I know he’ll tell me when he’s ready and honestly, the person I was then might not have given him a fair shot.”

“The person you were?” Ruby asked skeptically.

“You know. Closed, guarded, nice but isolated.”

“Emma, you were literally that person the day he came in here.” Okay, maybe. But Emma liked to think that those moments just before he’d come in, the Universe had readied her, prepped her for the possibility. She was going with that.

“What did he do that convinced you to let him in?” Mary Margaret’s question was sincere, like she really wanted to understand why the chance at love would be on hold.

“We met at a bar my last night. I told you guys that.” They nodded. “I was two full weeks into my trip abroad and the entire time I’d been alone. Even surrounded by people at the conference and at the sights, I was by myself. Then he sat next to me at the bar I’d finally been brave enough to walk into and he saw me. He didn’t let me duck away, and I didn’t want to.”

“I knew I liked him.” Ruby announced decidedly.

“Here here!” Mary Margaret toasted her cocoa as an influx of customers came into the store for them all to attend to. The afternoon was very busy, but in the moments of quiet that came and went swiftly, Emma thought back on that night, trying to remember everything she possibly could.

……………………………………..

The pub was packed. Clearly Emma had chosen a spot that was off the beaten path enough to keep tourists from flocking, but nice enough to entice the locals. She’d managed to find a stool along the bar and was currently nursing a drink that was surprisingly fantastic given how many options their menu had. Emma selected one at random, named after the pirate ship in Peter Pan and was already wanting another. That being said, the crowd was loud and she was tempted to ask if they had to-go cups, which of course they wouldn’t.

“Considering if a fast getaway is your best option, love?” Emma turned to a man who sat beside her in a miraculously open stool at the packed house. It took no time at all for a fierce reaction to set in. Her eyes widened slightly, her breath caught, and she felt a low flutter in her stomach that was so foreign she couldn’t remember ever having felt it. The man was sinfully attractive – blue eyes, black hair and a smile that was simultaneously roguish and charming? Check. Clearly fit? Check. Accent to die for? That too.

Oh shit, Emma thought to herself as she tried to gather the courage to respond.

“You say that like you know me or something.” Now the smile changed and she saw a flash of humor in his eyes.

“Perhaps I do, love. Well aside from the particulars, like your name.”

“Smooth. I’m Emma.” She extended her hand and he took it in his, sending a charge of pleasure coursing through her.

“Killian.”

“So what do you know?” He quirked a brow up at her in question. “You said perhaps you know me. So?”

“You’re beautiful but you hate that to be the first thing people comment on.” She had to work hard to keep her jaw from dropping. That was dead on.

“Yet you did.” He scratched behind his ear in what she could only assume was a sign of his embarrassment.

“Aye, to prove myself. You’re also smart and talented but it’s a mix of natural inclination and drive that keeps you going. People call you kind, but distant and sometimes don’t understand you but assume they do. You’re traveling alone, clearly in a foreign country from whence you hail, so you’re independent. You could have people with you, but you chose not to. And you’re already mourning the end of a trip that’s still going on.” There was no stopping it this time. She was gaping and she didn’t care. Was he a psychic?

“Anything else?” the words were more a whisper than anything else.

“You hate that I got all of that so quickly and now you want to run again.” He looked defeated at the prospect and she couldn’t help but like that. For whatever reason she could tell he was genuinely interested in getting to know her. Call it a sixth sense or a superpower or whatever, but she knew he wasn’t lying.

“That’s the first incorrect assumption you’ve made. I dislike that you seem to know me so well, but if I run, I can’t even the playing field.” He smiled at that, clearly relieved.

“I apologize for analyzing like that. It’s a hazard of my profession, I fear, and I’m a bit nervous.” She smiled, appreciating the fact that it was a sense of being off balance that prompted him to do this.

“What do you do? Shrink? Detective? One of those facial expression specialists you only hear about in bizarre international crime cases?” He laughed at that and Emma loved the sound of it.

“I own this bar.”

“That… I did not expect.”

Emma had always thought herself so good at reading people, at figuring them out, but she couldn’t explain this simultaneous craving for more information about him and an inability to surmise it on her own. He was intriguing. A little dangerous, at least to the cold, austere vibe she was always putting out. And he was fuck-me hot which her body wouldn’t let her forget. Maybe she didn’t need to know everything for once. Maybe she could just go with it. After a while she said it.

“I think you should take me home.” Emma nearly slapped a hand over her mouth after the comment, and she couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol. She’d been careful to drink minimally so as not to lose her head and her chance at this. Yet watching the heat that tore through Killian’s expression made the momentary embarrassment disappear.

“As you wish, love.”

The entire night had been exactly that – a study in every possible thing Emma could have wished Killian would do to her. She had never been as turned on or as utterly sated as she was with him. Everything was a revelation, a coming to the light. The chemistry between them was huge and scary and breathtaking. It made Emma wish for more than one evening, for more than what felt like a stolen moment.

While the sex was incredible, though, it was the connection that made leaving hurt worse. He was right, she did keep people at a distance and yet whether it was because he lived so far away or because of those bright blue eyes that Emma could read each and every truth in, she had given him a piece of herself. Come morning light, when she grabbed a taxi to the airport and said her goodbyes, there would be no taking it back. But the memories would be worth it. One perfect night with him would be worth the heartbreak of later.

……………

When Emma was eventually done at the store for the day, and the door to Three Fates was locked behind her, she finally considered what tonight would hold. She was exhausted. It seemed round after round of really good sex all weekend followed by a restless night and a long day at work would do that to a person.

Emma turned around back out to the street, still contemplating what the future might hold, when she noticed Killian standing there leaning against his car arms crossed and grinning at her. As always, her pulse sped up at the sight of him and she couldn’t contain the big smile that appeared on her face. Not that she wanted to. He was dressed for the meetings she’d known him to have today, looking all together too good in a three-piece suit. He was so formal and all Emma could think was that she wanted to rip every one of those fancy pieces of clothing from him immediately.

“Hey. Did we have plans?” she asked.

“Explicitly? No. But a man can dream that the woman he fancies might find some time today for him.” He really did look so hopeful that even if Emma hadn’t wanted exactly that she probably would have caved.

“What did you have in mind?” She asked as she made her way right in front of him, stopping just before they touched.

“I was thinking I’d cook you dinner. Perhaps convince you that you were as miserable without me last night as I was without you, and beg you to take pity on me this evening by staying over my place.”

There was no convincing necessary. The reality was that she hadn’t slept as soundly without Killian beside her last night. Even with their… interruptions… the actual sleep she did get with him was exactly what she needed and precisely what she didn’t want to turn down.

“I think you should take me home.”

She ran a hand up the lapel of his suit, reveling in the change it caused to his breathing. She’d used the same words from that first night they met back in London and she watched as he fought for control. This was a side of Killian she so dearly loved to see, and truly enjoyed provoking.

“As you wish, love.” With that they were off, to grab some things from her home first and then to a night that would no doubt be more fulfilling than the one before it.

He made pasta from scratch and Emma sat there staring at him like he had three heads through the entire ordeal. Not only had a man never made something like that for her, but she couldn’t seem to understand why he would know how to do this in the first place. Despite Killian’s explanation (that most of his friends were likewise restaurateurs and had chefs who had given him some tips), Emma couldn’t help but wonder at how a guy like him could still be single.

“You’ve got to have something wrong with you. Something I haven’t seen yet,” she said as she nearly moaned pushing away the heavenly dish he’d concocted and she’d devoured.

“Why do you say that, Swan?”

“You cook, you’re thoughtful. You look – well like that.” Emma waved her hand at him as if that would be all the explanation she needed. “What’s your deep dark secret Jones? Because I have to say, this isn’t making much sense to me.”

Whatever she’d expected him to say, he didn’t, instead opting to get up from his spot immediately and pull her to her feet. He tilted her chin up so she was looking in his eyes, forced to see the sincerity in them. She felt captivated by him and the feelings that moments like these provoked and Emma held her breath as she waited for his reply.

“I have faults enough, Swan. I’m by no means perfect, but my secret? My secret is that I let love get away from me once five years ago and let life become the excuse not to fight for it.” Emma gulped. Did he just say love? Okay shit, well… she could work with that.

“Something happened with your brother, Killian. I know you did what you had to. I don’t blame you for anything.”

She traced the line of his jaw as she said the words and in seconds his lips came crashing down against hers, demanding her connection as his hands roamed along her body. Emma felt a spark of raw energy pulsing through her, and she went from somewhat relaxed to frenzied in mere moments. It wasn’t until he pulled back that Emma thought to take a breath.

“You’re wondering why I love you, when I’m standing here wondering how I’ve somehow managed to gain your trust, thanking every God I know of in the process. You are everything, Swan, worth more than a home cooked meal and my personal charms. But I’m not questioning it this time – this time I’m striving to deserve you.”

Killian’s words were so big, his gestures had proven to be just as enormous, but right now, Emma needed a way to express how she felt too. The words wouldn’t work. They were still catching in her throat and forcing them would cause her to misspeak, so she’d have to show him too. Only she wasn’t exactly the pasta-from-scratch, or a thousand flowers type. She started slowly unbuttoning his vest and felt his muscles tighten beneath the material as he waited for her.

“You really want to work for this, huh?” He nodded and she smiled at the tick in his jaw as he bit back any more professions. She pushed the vest off of him and started working at the shirt. “I can think of a couple of really persuasive moves of yours that I particularly like.”

He growled low as her hand touched the bare skin of his abdomen and she let herself be distracted by the hard lines of his muscles there. That distraction was all it took for him to gain the upper hand again. Swiftly, he removed her top and he traced the black silk of her bra in appreciation.

“I aim to give you what you want, Emma, but I can’t promise anything but hard and fast this time.”

“Good.”

The whispered word between them had Killian lifting her up onto one of the cleared portions of the dining room table. Emma squeaked. This was not what she’d been expecting, but then his lips were back on hers and his hand was snaking its way past the hem of her skirt, making its way to her waiting sex and she was all for the new course of action.

“You’re already wet for me, love.” He groaned as his fingers bypassed the damp silk of her panties to where she wanted him most and Emma moaned into him, gripping at him tighter in silent reminder that he’d promised fast. She was in no mood for teasing right now. Killian didn’t disappoint her, making her reach that first release with his hands like no one else ever could. He broke away from their kiss and knelt before her, removing the scrap of silk before kneeling down before her and kissing her inner thigh.

“Killian.”

She closed her eyes and his name passed her lips like a prayer. Her skirt at this point was pushed so far up her hips, she just wanted it off, but the feel of him, licking and sucking and nipping at her was so consuming, she couldn’t care. She gripped the edge of the table tightly, writhing beneath his ministrations until he blessedly let her catapult into another stunning climax. She was never going to get used to that.

“Been thinking about taking me on this table for a while?” She asked.

“Only since I bought it, love.”

Emma shimmied out of her skirt and removed her bra as he shed his remaining clothes. With anyone else, she likely would have been worried about being naked in the middle of a well illuminated dining room, but the unbridled passion in his eyes had her feeling confident and entirely too turned on considering the two orgasms she’d already had.

“Don’t be gentle.”

Those were the last words she could get out other than a string of curses and repeating his name as he gave her everything she’d been hoping for in a good old-fashioned table fuck. Hell, who was she kidding, it was fantastic. The best part, though, came after everything when he’d caressed her cheek lovingly, looking at her like she hung the moon, and then picked her up and carried her to bed. She’d fallen asleep in no time at all, so fast that Emma didn’t note the happy smile that Killian couldn’t seem to stop as he held her in his arms, planning out how to make her his always and forever.

Post-Note: Just fluff everywhere, and declarations of love, and happiness and smut and just everything you guys know I am a sucker for. Expect more of the same from your next installment. Hope you guys enjoyed and are having a great day! Thanks for reading!