Actually this post DID get me thinking, about all the times Ed gives up and resigns in the show. It's a defense mechanism. We know he's a deeply feeling person. We know his emotions are strong and he will express them. These dismissive reactions are him pushing those feelings aside, not thinking about them, not acknowledging them, trying to ignore them. Trying to control them. Trying to stay on top of them.
This, of course, always catches up.
And it's making me think about how interesting the choices were in this sequence.
In particular, how the final product contrasts with the version of the script that Jes Tom posted later.
(also reading this again wrecks me wow)
In the version in the show, he is not giddy. He is not happily humming. He is calm, and he doesn't even crack a smile. And I think it's more than just acting/directing choices, it's a completely different tone. His "bye bye" in the show does not read as victorious or celebratory to me, it reads as his quick dismissal and resignation that we see several times before. This is Ed giving up a part of himself without letting himself feel what that really means.
This change feels bigger and more deliberate. Ed still doesn't know what it means to give up Blackbeard. And like all the other times he tries to quickly dismiss a feeling, I think that's still going to catch up with him.
It's such an interesting character arc and I love it and I think it's one of the strong cases for needing another season. He hasn't reconciled what it means to hold on to Blackbeard. We see him bring the leathers - this persona - back, to a degree, at the end of the season. But I don't think we've seen him actually process what that means to him. What does it mean to be Ed? Blackbeard isn't Ed, but Blackbeard is undeniably a part of Ed. And this doesn't have to be a bad thing. This can be a part of Ed that he gets to define anew. I'd love to get to see Ed reconcile this part of him, and how it fits with the person he wants to be. He doesn't have to shun this past part of himself.
I want to see him get to his "Hello, Ed."
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I think what really gets to me with the finale is that Merlin was so close to getting Arthur to the lake. Yet, there was no plan beyond that. It's like even if they did get there, who knows if anything would have happened.
The idea that there was still more tragedy awaiting even if they made it, that yeah despite all of Merlin’s magic, he couldn't save Arthur's life.
It was always the possibility of the Sidhe, but there was no guarantee. It was all hope from the start, endless hope that failed them in the end.
Because well, it was always supposed to happen like this anyway... Arthur was meant to die so he could rise again, there was no alternative
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have i talked before about how crazy it drives me that in old bdubs videos he would super abashedly talk about his love for making things pretty? because. it drives me crazy.
at the beginning of mc4 when everyone was clearing out spawn so it was a lifeless flat plot of land to build on and bdubs took it personally and added grass and foliage once everything was built to make the whole landscape more lively and cohesive. and how hed get made fun of for thinking about little shit like that.
also when he got asked what hed be doing if he wasnt doing mc and he mentioned music (i think) and basically was super embarrassed to be like “i know its not very manly, but im super into artsy fartsy stuff”. as if that is a bad thing.
anyway im getting so emo thinking about how in hermitcraft, everyone knows and admires bdubs skill as a builder and its not ever something thats made fun of anymore. thinking about how bdubs never talks down about his own abilities anymore and instead of feeling weird about being a dude whose into artsy fartsy stuff, hes really embraced his career as a creator of beautiful things.
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it's me, boy, I'm your dead cavalier, speaking to you inside your brain listen to me I wanted you to use me, you malign, double-crossing, corpse-obsessed bag of bones, you broken, used-up shithead! I wanted you to live and not die, you imaginary-girlfriend-having asshole! Fuck one flesh, one end, boy. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me we'll have cowboy times in space-
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HI WILLOWWWWW
do you think you’d ever have to have a sit down discussion with katsuki about how to discipline your children? early on? it’s mentioned in the anime that he was spanked as a kid and thinks it’s fine bc it happened to him in the provisional license training, they go against it anyway but i was curious about your thoughts on if a discussion like that would happen?
HIIIIII FREN 😌🩷✨️
this is actually such an interesting question !!! 🤔 bc i feel like there is so much to unpack here LOL
but but but !!!! to make a long topic shorter i will say !! yes, i think the conversation comes up only once, and he brings it up himself. it's pretty early on, i think, before you even know what you're having and it happens very suddenly, maybe when you're laying in bed and not quite asleep, but eyes closed, lights off.
and he just says, voice firm and strong. "i ain't hittin' my kid."
it hangs in silence for a minute, heavy and serious, before you sit up a little to look at him. you frown just slightly, and you can't tell if it's because you're tired or if it's just too early into the pregnancy that you hadn't even started thinking about discipline, but you ask, "what, honey?"
he's sitting up with his back against the headboard, already watching you intently. it takes another moment for him to gather his words, but eventually he sighs and shifts his gaze to your ceiling. "i didn't have no...fuckin'....'time out' or 'sit in the corner and think about you did' kind of thing, but," he raises a hand and rubs his fingers into his eyes and you wonder how long he's been sitting there, thinking about this. "i'm not hittin' 'em."
it seems like such haunting topic, so suddenly—any kind of connection of harm against your growing little bean—and you almost want to press katsuki for why he's bringing this up, now, but—there's a severity to his voice that warns you otherwise.
instead you roll over in the bed until your head is resting against his shoulder, and rub a hand across his chest until he's linking his fingers with yours. "okay, yeah," you agree simply, smooshing your cheek against him. "yeah, no hitting." when he doesn't react, you squeeze him. "y'okay?"
"'s'fine," he tells you—immediately, dismissively, in that way he does when you're looking too closely at something he's not quite ready to share. when you don't react, he turns his face and presses his mouth into your hair, taking a breath to steady himself. "'s'fine," he says again, softly enough that you think it might not be, really—but maybe someday.
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