#I am also sure Noah Hanifin got over it

[aprill-99]

Every once in a while I am once again forced to confront the fact that my older sister is intermittently Twitter famous for making hockey players feel bad. Then she starts planning to move to Buffalo with her cats and declares herself a comedic genius prevented from her dreams by the simple lack of $700K, which, same…

[midnightsnyx]

Consequences - Matthew Tkachuk: part 5

summary: you absolutely hate Matthew Tkachuk so it’s just your luck when you wind up pregnant with his child. 

a/n: surprise!!! it’s part 5!! i wont be home sunday so i wanted to post this today. i’m really iffy on this part because i wrote and rewrote a lot of the scenes because i wasn’t happy with it and i’m still not 100% happy with it but if i keep picking it over i’ll end up deleting the entire thing and rewriting it from scratch

but yeah i hope u guys like it & thanks again sooooo much for the love on this story <3 you guys rock.

word count: 2.6K

warnings: swearing, angst w/ a lil fluff again and bad editing lol

ALSO the first part in italics is a flashback to before Matt missed the appointment! 

Part 5

“You’ve gotta stop moping, man.” Noah said, bumping his shoulder against Matt’s during morning practice.

Matt knew he was moping but he couldn’t get you out of his head and it was driving him nuts. He was attracted to you the moment you met even though you hated him, but lately something was different. He wasn’t sure if it’s from seeing you carry his child but the past couple months, you were all he could think about.

And it drove him insane.

“I’m not.” He mumbled, attempting to deny his teammates statement. Noah didn’t buy it though, because he grinned.

“You, me, and drinks?” He pointed at Matt. “Tonight at 9. We’re getting you laid.”

Matt forced a smile and nodded, knowing that Noah wouldn’t leave him alone until he agreed.

“The ultrasound is in the morning though so I can’t stay out late.” Matt reminded him.

“We’ll have you back in time for the appointment.” Noah promised and Matt believed him which was why the hurt on your face the next morning broke him.

. . .

21 weeks

“Noah Hanifin is at your front door.” Becca says, looking through the peephole before turning to look at you. Piled under a mountain of blankets with tissues surrounding you and an empty tub of ice cream sitting on the coffee table, you‘re the perfect picture of a broken heart.

You have been dodging calls and texts from Matthew for the past two weeks but in the last couple days, he’s been radio silent and you’re not sure if it hurts more, or less.

“Tell Noah Hanifin to fuck off.” You mutter, trying to dig yourself deeper in the pile of blankets. You know why Noah is here and it pisses you off.

Becca opens the door a little and you can see Noah standing there, holding a bag and looking uncomfortable.

“Can I help you with something?” Becca asks shortly and Noah sighs.

“Good to see you too, Becs.”

Becca’s shoulders tighten and you know without seeing her face that she is glaring at him. “What do you want, Hanifin?”

He hands her the bag he was holding. “This is for Y/N. It’s from Matt. He says he’s sorry.” Then he looks at you. “He’s in bad shape.”

You know he’s in bad shape because even though you’re hurt and angry, you’ve been watching his games. He’s being careless, taking stupid penalties, picking fights more than normal and you know he hasn’t been getting much sleep because there are bags under his eyes.

So you don’t need Noah Fucking Hanifin to tell you that Matthew’s in bad shape.

“That’s not my problem.”

“Oh come on, Y/N.” Noah says a little too harshly for your liking. “He fucked up, he knows that. Cut him some slack, he’s twenty two and he’s about to be a fucking father. He’s scared!”

“And I’m about to be a mother!” You snap. “He doesn’t think I’m scared?”

Noah groans in frustration. “Look. It was my fault, okay? I talked Matt in to going out that night because I wanted him to stop moping over you.”

You try to ignore his comment about Matt moping over you but your voice is unsteady when you answer him.

“Matt is a big boy, Noah. He can make his own decisions and he made the wrong one.” You watch Noah’s face fall. “Stop trying to stick up for him.”

Noah shakes his head and sighs. “You should cut him some slack. It was my fault.”

You watch as he leaves without saying another word. When he’s gone and Becca shuts the door behind him, she turns to face you.

“He doesn’t deserve forgiveness just because Hanifin ‘talked’ him in to going out and getting drunk. He made that choice.”

You slowly nod, watching as she walks to your kitchen preparing to throw the bag Noah dropped off in the garbage. You’re not sure what prompts you to stop her but you call out before she throws it out.

“Wait.”

She looks at you with a raised brow. “What?”

“Let me see what he brought.”

You know she’s pissed, but she brings it over and hands it to you.

“I’m going to go get ready for bed, okay?” She says and you nod, watching as she walks down the hallway. When she’s out of sight, you peak in the bag.

The first thing you see is a chocolate bar. It’s your favourite, and you’re surprised he remembered. There’s some candy and a box of popcorn and your lips turn up in a tiny smile when you pull out a movie.

It’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting, the movie you were very against watching because of how unrealistic it would be compared to actual childbirth. There’s a little sticky note that says, you should watch this even though it’s totally not accurate.

Then, at the very bottom of the bag, there’s a bigger note and you want to ignore it like you’ve done with every text he’s sent you but you read it out of curiosity.

Y/N,

 I know that I can’t make up for missing the appointment and I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better so all I’m going to do is say sorry. I am so, so sorry and I know I keep saying that and they are only words but it’s all I can think of to say.

So I’m sorry and I hope that you can forgive me soon because I miss you and I want to be there for you without having to ask my mom for updates on how you are. Please call me, or even text me. I just want to know how you’re doing.

 Matt

 You’re sniffling by the time you’ve read the note but when you hear Becca approaching, you wipe away the tears and shove the paper back in the bag.

“What did he give you?” She questions, sitting on the couch next to you.

You don’t want to tell her about the note so you just shrug. “A movie.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah.” You lie. “Will you watch it with me?”

“Sure.” She says, taking the movie from you and putting it in to the DVD player before returning to the couch and curling up on the opposite side of the couch.

You try to focus on the movie but you can’t get Matt’s note and Noah’s words out of your head. You’re confused from what Noah said about Matthew ‘moping’ over you. The two of you were friends and you used that term loosely. If it wasn’t for the baby, you know you never wouldn’t have gotten so close to him. You never would have gotten to know the side of him that the rest of the world has never seen. You wouldn’t have learned how terrible he is at cooking but how gentle he can be.

But you also wouldn’t be in this situation right now. By yourself and pregnant with a broken heart.

So you’re not sure what hurts more. The thought of never having known him the way you do or having your heart broken.

. . .

22 weeks

Johnny: I’m really sorry to bother you but can you please come pick Matt up? He’s in bad shape and he won’t go home unless its to you.

It’s this text that has you standing outside a bar that Matt and the guys are. For Johnny to text you, you know that it must be bad and you’re proven right when the doors open and Noah and Johnny carry an extremely wasted Matthew Tkachuk out. You’re not sure he’s even awake until he lifts his head when Noah shakes him.

“Y/N’s here, bud.”

His eyes are closed but they open when he hears your name and his face lights up and he shrugs the boys off, stumbling towards you. He’s unsteady so you reach out to steady him, grateful when he doesn’t put much weight on you.

“You’re here.” He breathes and you nod slowly.

“And you’re drunk.”

He shakes his head quickly. “No, I’m sober as a judge!”

You hear Noah chuckle but you don’t react to him, pulling Matt’s arm around your shoulder.

“C’mon. Lets go home.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Noah calls out and you’re still pissed at him so you don’t bother looking back.

“Yeah.”

You get Matt in your car without a problem and when you start the drive back to your apartment, you try to ignore how he’s staring at you but it feels like he’s burning holes in the side of your head.

“What?” You mutter eventually and you see him shrug out of the corner of your eye.

“’m surprised you came to pick me up. I know you hate me.” He mumbles and you sigh.

“I don’t hate you.” You tell him, “I was angry with you. And I had every right to be.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispers quietly and when you glance at him, he’s no longer looking at you. He is staring at his hands and you notice the cuts from the fight he got in to at today’s game. It was a heavy loss and had a lot to do with how many penalties Matt took. They were dumb penalties, all of which he never would have taken if his head was in the game. You know it’s not entirely your fault but you still can’t help but feel a little guilty because you know he’s playing like this because you haven’t been talking to him.

“I know.” You say, pulling in to the parking lot of your apartment building. You could have very well dropped Matt off at his house but you know he’s too drunk and leaving him by himself could be dangerous.

He’s sobered up a little by the time you’re in your apartment. You make him drink a couple glasses of water before guiding him to your bathroom so he can brush his teeth with his toothbrush he keeps at your apartment and when you give him clothes that he keeps here too, you realize how much time he really spent here.

“I can sleep on the couch.” He says and everything in you is screaming to agree but he just looks so tired and you know he won’t get a wink of sleep on that couch so you shake your head.

“It’s fine.” you say, ignoring the small look of hope on his face, instead sending him out of the bathroom so you can get ready. You take your time, hoping that he will be asleep when you go to your bedroom but you find him laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t look at your face when you settle on the bed next to him but you do notice his eyes flicker to your stomach before you pull the blanket over you.

“It’s bigger.” He says.

“What?”

“Your stomach.” He clarifies. “It’s getting bigger.”

“Well that’s what happens when you’re growing a human being inside you.” You remind him and his lips turn up in a small smile.

“Y/N-” He starts to say but you cut him off.

“We’ll talk in the morning.”

He looks disappointed but he’s still drunk enough that you’re not comfortable having the conversation the two of you need to have. There are things that need to be worked out and said and you don’t want him to only remember half of it.

So you watch him nod and drift off before letting yourself fall asleep.

. . .

You wake the next morning before Matt. He snoring quietly and his back is to you which makes getting out of bed easier. He’ll be hungover for sure, so you decide to make breakfast while you wait for him to wake up. You’re also trying to think of what exactly you’re going to say to him.

You don’t know if you have it in you to still be so angry at him. He messed up and it’s not something you’ll ever forget but Noah made a good point when he said that Matt is only 23. You’re both still so young and about to be parents and despite wanting him to be perfect and never mess up, you can’t expect him to be.

“Hey.”

You turn to see Matt walking in to the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey.” You reply, turning back to the stove. You can hear him sit down on a bar stool and he’s quiet for a moment before speaking up.

“Thank you.” He says softly and it surprises you because you were expecting him to say sorry again.

“You didn’t have to come pick me up last night but you did.”

You shrug, turning around to look at him. “I know you would’ve done the same.”

“I would.” He says. “And I know you’re tired of me saying it but I am really sorry I missed the appointment. I promised I would be there and I let you down.”

You nod, walking over and sitting next to him. “You did, but I’m starting to think that I was too hard on you. You made a mistake, we all do.”

“I swear I’ll never miss one again.” He promises.

“Good, because I’ll shun you if you do.” You chirp and he grins.

After breakfast, the two of you are watching hockey replays and Matt is quietly talking to the baby. You can’t hear exactly what he’s saying but suddenly he looks up and grins.

“Can we tell everyone now? I thought we could make up an Instagram post or something.”

“I may already have one prepared.” You admit sheepishly and his smile lights up the room.

[hockeylvr59]

Crush Part 2 || Matthew Tkachuk

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: The response to the first part was amazing!!!! And since I got a few cute suggestions I couldn’t help but crank out a second part. I am loving this man so much right now that I can’t even describe it. Let me know if you have any other ideas moving forward and what your thoughts on this part are. 

Warnings: cursing. 

Word Count: 2,518

~~~~

With the team flying out of town the morning following his hallway encounters with Y/N, Matt didn’t see her for the next week because she didn’t travel with the team. Her lack of travel now made sense to Matthew and though he missed seeing her smile, it was definitely better for Lottie that her mom remains in Calgary. Of course, just because he didn’t see her didn’t mean that she didn’t occupy his brain. While knowing that Lottie was sixteen-months-old answered a few questions, that knowledge also spawned even more. For example, Matthew couldn’t help but wonder about the circumstances behind Y/N becoming a mother and whether motherhood meant that she was in a relationship. 

They weren’t questions he’d be able to ask though, so he told himself that he had to assume that Y/N was in a relationship and get over his own silly feelings because it was never going to happen. The problem was...just telling yourself that didn’t mean that it was going to happen and Matt was rudely reminded of that fact when he arrived back in the locker room following the road trip. Before he’d even reached his stall, Matthew noticed a piece of paper sitting on the bench portion. A closer examination revealed a scratchy piece of artwork, post-it note stuck to the bottom corner. 

Matt,

Lottie drew this to say thank you for reading to her. You don’t know how much that small gesture means to both of us and Lottie keeps asking when she can see ‘M. Chuck’ again. I know getting a child’s picture probably seems silly but Lottie would give me hell if I didn’t make sure you got it. 

Y/N

Matt didn’t notice the grin on his face growing as he read the note but he did feel the snap of a towel against his ass which made him jump. 

“You gonna get ready for practice or daydream about your girl?” Noah Hanifin chirped as he walked back to his own stall, towel slung over his shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Matt snapped back, a glare now covering his face. No one dared say anything further, most even headed out to the ice a few minutes early while Matt quickly changed. The part of him that wanted his teammates to lay off him told him to toss the picture into the trash but for some reason he slid it into his bag instead, hanging it up with a magnet on his fridge when he got home. There was something about having a child’s artwork on the fridge that made his modern apartment feel a little bit more like a home. 

_____

With the schedule ramping up, Matt had honestly lost track of his days. He’d seen Y/N in passing, and each time he did he cursed at the way his body reacted but he hadn’t spoken with her. Today though, Coach had canceled practice in lieu of a family skate and secretly Matthew was hoping that Y/N would show up. 

Sitting in his stall in just a pair of sweats and a hoodie, Matthew laced up his skates,  nervous energy radiating from him. The locker room was a madhouse with all of the guys’ kids running around in their skates and various layers of gear. Sitting in the stall next to him for a moment TJ worked on fixing his daughter’s hair. 

“She’ll be here.” He declared nonchalantly. “She’s bringing Lottie to skate.” TJ didn’t say anything more as he scooped his daughter up and carried her toward the ice. 

By the time Matt made his own way out to the ice, he noticed Y/N already skating around taking some pictures of the players and their families. TJ had said she was bringing Lottie but there were no signs of the little girl around anywhere. Before Matthew could even debate skating over to her he was pulled into a game of tag with some of the other kids. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar toddler voice shouting “mama!” that he looked back toward the bench only to find Y/N skating in the direction of her daughter who was in the arms of a man about his own age. He watched as she leaned up to kiss the man’s cheek, soft smile on her face as his worst fears came to life right in front of his eyes. 

***

Hearing her daughter’s voice, Y/N let her camera fall from her hands to hang on its strap around her neck as she skated to the bench. Seeing that she had her mom’s attention Lottie started squirming in her father’s hands, reaching out for her mom. When Y/N reached the pair she leaned in and kissed Lottie’s head before pressing her lips against Christopher’s cheek. 

“Hey! Thank you for dropping her off.” Y/N greeted as she pulled away. 

“You know it’s not a problem Y/N.” Christopher insisted. “I have class anyway so I’d just be taking her to daycare.” Y/N was well aware of this fact but still, she was grateful nonetheless because this was one of her favorite things to do with her daughter. 

“Still..thank you.” She repeated, taking the toddler who was reaching out for her wanting to be transferred to mom’s arms. They chatted for a minute about how things had been going before Chris leaned in and kissed Lottie’s head before pulling back. 

“You’ll text me when you’re ready to have her back?” Y/N asked and Chris nodded, running his fingers through his short straight hair. 

“Sure thing.” He agreed. “But uh. I’m gonna go before your boy over there comes and takes my head off.” With a teasing grin, he motioned over to where Matthew Tkachuk was indeed watching them. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Y/N mumbled, a blush forming on her cheeks. 

“Uh-huh...sure sweetheart.” Chris threw back as he started backing his way down the tunnel. 

‘Oh fuck you.’ Y/N mouthed. “Go ask that hot guy from your seminar to coffee or something after class.” She threw back winking at him as she shifted her daughter in her arms. With a laugh and a wave, Chris disappeared and Y/N shook her head turning her attention to Lottie. 

“Are you ready to go skating?” She asked, her own grin growing. 

“yeah! ‘Kate mama!” Lottie replied, clapping her hands. So after slipping her camera back into its bag under the bench, Y/N sat Lottie down and grabbed the skates that TJ Brodie had brought for her to borrow, his daughter just a little older than Lottie and one size up in skates. With Lottie’s skates ready to go, Y/N picked her daughter back up. 

“Do you wanna skate with mama first or on your own?” Y/N asked and when Lottie insisted she wanted to skate with mama first, Y/N settled the little girl onto her hip before stepping onto the ice and starting to skate easy laps. 

***

“Green isn’t your color you know.” Matthew heard from over his shoulder as he attempted to puck handle with a child’s stick. Gio just laughed at the grimace on Matthew’s face as he skated off to break up a disagreement with his kids and Matthew cursed softly before turning back to watch Y/N doing up Lottie’s skates before stepping onto the ice with her. Skating slow laps, Matty watched as the little girl smiled and relaxed against her mom before eventually squirming to be put down a few minutes later. 

After taking off the little girl’s skate guards and sticking them in her back pocket, she gently set Lottie down and half squatted slowly skating the little girl forward. A screech of excitement left the toddler’s mouth and Matt’s chest started aching at the thought of wanting something he couldn’t have. They made it around a quarter of the rink before it appeared that Lottie had tired out and Y/N scooped her back up. 

“M. Chuck!!!!” Matt’s eyes went wide hearing Lottie scream out in excitement having just spotted him and suddenly Y/N had skated to his side, Lottie waving at him a shy smile on her face. 

“Hey, Matt.” Y/N greeted. “Someone wanted to come say hi.” Lottie rambled on for a minute or so and while Matt would like to say he was listening, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Y/N and the way she watched her daughter filled with so much love and affection. 

“Hey Y/N. Hey Lottie.” He eventually replied, shoving his hands in his pockets in an attempt to keep himself from running them through his hair. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming to this thing…” He found himself stating, only to see Y/N shrug. 

“Like we’d miss this. Skating is one of Lottie’s favorite things to do. I’ve been skating with her since she was two months old.” Though he didn’t intend to, Matt must have given her some sort of look because Y/N continued to explain. “Living in downtown Calgary it’s not so easy to go for late-night drives when she wouldn’t sleep so we started doing late night skates instead. I know a person or two...so we’d get into a rink and I’d strap her to my chest and start skating and before I knew it she was out like a light.” Lottie’s fingers were tangled in her mother’s hair and she shifted restlessly. 

“Skate and talk?” Y/N proposed and suddenly Matt was skating easy laps beside her, unable to deny the desire to be close to her. “So yeah we’ve been skating together for a long time but today was her first time on skates herself and I think she did pretty well.” A mumbled ‘tell dada’ could be heard from Lottie’s head buried in Y/N’s shoulder and Y/N laughed softly. 

“And she can’t wait to tell her dad all about it.” Matthew wanted to ask, it was eating him up inside but he just couldn’t. Instead, he swallowed hard, trying to find something neutral to say. Before he could though, Y/N yawned, a sneaky grin taking over her face. “But hopefully that’s later today than we had originally planned and he takes my advice on asking the hot guy in his seminar out for coffee.” 

Matty hadn’t even realized that he’d just stopped skating at her words until she turned around and started laughing ten feet in front of him, a glint in her eyes. He didn’t know it, but while skating with him, Y/N had been processing over Chris’s words about Matt being jealous over and over until finally, it all clicked. As she skated back to him, bumping him with her shoulder she glanced up to see the confusion on his face. 

“Chris is gay Matt.” She simply stated. “We were friends who got way too drunk and slept together fueled by the alcohol, stress, and loneliness. He told me the morning after that he’d been gay since high school and that while he loved me as a friend the night before had been a one-time thing. I wasn’t in love with him either...don’t get me wrong I love him as a friend just not more...so I was cool with it. Six weeks later he held me as we waited on a little piece of plastic to reveal our future. He’s been by my side since and we share custody of her. He’s the perfect co-parent and we still hang out every other week to talk about boys and drink wine.” 

Matt felt like a bomb had just been dropped on his brain as he processed her words and their implications. Her baby daddy was gay...which meant that she was single. All of the little fractures of his heart suddenly healed and he felt his cheeks heat up, his crush reaching a new level. At some point, they had started skating again, though Matt couldn’t remember when that had happened, but he did hear Lottie’s murmurings for her mama to skate faster and faster. 

“I don’t think mama can skate much faster Charlotte...” Y/N eventually stated, her voice a little more breathless from exertion. “But maybe if you ask Mr. Tkachuk nicely he’d skate you around a little faster. He’s a much better skater than mama.” 

Matt didn’t stand a chance against those big brown eyes and the soft ‘peas’ that fell from her lips as she looked up at him. Still, Matt wasn’t sure that he was ready for this. Sitting and reading to her was one thing, but he was worried that she’d end up hurt if he took her for a skate. It wasn’t until Y/N rested her hand gently on his arm and mouthed ‘I trust you’ that he acquiesced, gathering the toddler in his arms, getting her settled before he started off slowly, gradually gaining speed. 

The sound of Lottie’s laughter filling his ears brought his confidence up and soon he was skating as quickly as was safe around the crowded rink, tiny fingers tangled in his hoodie as she clung to him. He honestly lost track of time skating with her but as he started slowing, skating a final lap, he found himself shifting her so that her skates were back on the ice and he was holding her by the waist, his previous momentum carrying them both forward. The little girl seemed to love this even more and by the time they finally stopped back in front of the bench where Y/N was standing, Matt couldn’t describe the feeling filling his chest. 

The ice had started to clear and it was evident that Y/N was ready to go because she had her street shoes on already. As he handed Lottie back to her mom, the little girl thanked him repeatedly, her eyes already starting to droop. 

“Thanks, Matt.” Y/N murmured, using one hand to unlace her daughter’s skates, gently tugging them off her feet. “I’m sure Chris will also say thanks because she is going to sleep really well for him tonight.” She added laughing. Matt nodded and shrugged because it wasn’t that big of a deal. He watched as she packed her things up to head home, following her down the tunnel until the hallway parted. 

He wanted to make a move, wanted to ask her out but for some reason even knowing she was single he was too anxious to actually admit his feelings out loud. Shoving his hands back in his pockets he started for the dressing room until once again her voice called out to him. 

“Hey, Matt…” She started. “Chris has Lottie until Saturday morning…” The words were thrown out there with no real meaning and it wasn’t until she had walked away that it clicked and if he did a fist pump well...at least no one saw him. 

She was interested. Now he just had to get her number. 

[nototherwisespecified]

dreamshare and the nhl: Why

a beautiful, wonderful anon who does not know their own power (or they do, in which case, anon, nice) asked if I would ever write an Inception hockey AU, or a hockey Inception AU, & for thoughts on either. in the middle of formatting some research group’s paper, I kind of looked at that & was like “haha funny, but - “

& then I started thinking. 

first, an Inception hockey AU - inception characters as hockey players - I... hm. like, eames has the build for it, but he’s got the bum hip; dom is too much of a yuppie; arthur’s a skinny bastard; yusuf’s canonically 40; saito - hahaaaaahaha. as a beer league team, maybe? possibly humor where dreamshare goes legal & corporate, & now that The Dream Team is aboveground, they scatter & there are rivalries & blah blah it’d be a cute setting but I’m not sold, & I’m not sure how much it would appeal. granted, inception fandom in the last nine years has demonstrated that it will read anything... (no shade)

but the other direction. put dreamshare into the NHL.

it is possible that, while walking back from CVS so I could finish work with the assistance of some caffeine, I said aloud, “fuck, I have plot bunnies.” 

some of this is straight from twitter, with assists from co-conspirator @thetrashpitals, some is happening right here right now

me: imagine fuckin tom wilson as the subject of an extraction attempt

me: imagine an arthur inception in hockey gear

me: I - which of these is funnier, I can't even TELL

connie: I am losing my complete and total shit

me: all NHLers in the top 50 draft picks undergo mandatory subconscious militarization

me: connor mcdavid is like "this seems really... mean??" & jack eichel is like laughing his balls off shooting noah hanifin in the head

connie: LMAO FUCK. the specificity of noah hanifin really got me

me: it would be stromer but the canadians are all clique-y & eichs doesn’t wanna get into it

and then

arthur, as militarizer (in my inception ’verse), has to be talked down every thirty minutes by an increasingly incoherent ariadne (who LOVES hockey, because CANADIAN, as established in my ’verse). ari ends up bros with half the draft class every year. Puck Bunnies Hate Her

BUT MORE SERIOUSLY - 

the timing is just wrong enough that the documentary-worthy politically interesting (i.e. shitty) stuff, like the Russian Five - they’re immune, before dreamshare was invented. but evgeni malkin coming to the states? his contract dispute with Metallurg is absolutely within the timeframe of dreamshare going underground. there’s all kinds of heist-y potential there. nhl vs khl, pens vs the world, agents & lemieuxes & ... HM.

the timing ALSO works out for the first Big Job the gang (with or without cobb; my headcanon is that he retires post-movie but what do I know) takes after the fischer job to be funded by the penguins org, trying to heal crosby's 2011 concussion ANY bit faster, or at least protecting him from extraction attempts while he’s vulnerable

a lot of the interesting implementations of dreamshare in the NHL would rely on the assumption of horrendous corruption on the parts of team owners, & on the ability or lack thereof to actually affect a subject’s access to various types of memory. like, the movie is loose enough with the mechanics that hypothetically you could drop into a player’s mind, distract them with something shiny over here (infinite golf course!), & wall off literally everything they know about the game. instant, highly localized stroke effects (read oliver sacks for details).

it’d be an artificial block that the player could probably break down over time, but “our top-line center was the victim of mind crime” isn’t gonna fly. stories about fake injuries all over the place, extractors & architects & whoever hired as consultants to see if the team can just get their player on the ice faster, & thus the mandatory militarization/subconscious security training after the draft.

this is the plotty detail-oriented schedule-dependent time-dependent worldbuilding kind of shit I adore putting together, but I cannot imagine who’d read it. like, a psychological thriller about - I mean, Inception is about mergers & acquisitions, but. about hockey. the implementation of neurological principles via symbolic architecture & imaginary wars, flirting with psychosis. about. hockey. there’s not much room in there for shippy stuff, but the gen behind-the-scenes potential....

I dunno. if you’d read it, reply here?

[sutterbabe]

#10 Auston Matthews

Hi could you please do an imagine where you're Auston's best friend and he helps you through a sleepless night and maybe you realize you like each other? Thank you!

warnings: swearies bc I have a potty mouth

Idk what this is but at least the last bit is cute

song suggestion of the day: Laid by james (cover by catfish and the bottlemen bc i cant stop listening to them atm)

It hadn’t been a great week if you were being honest. This wasn’t your first restless night but at least tonight you could find a little comfort in snapchatting Auston. He’d had the opposite problem and had pretty much just slept for three days straight so it was nice to talk to him again.

‘You look tired.’

‘wow thanks.’ you replied.

‘maybe you should sleep its already 11.40′

you laughed at that. It was cute how he’d say little things like that. He was always looking out for you and you appreciated it.

‘Maybe you should. Weren’t you trying to get back to a normal sleep pattern?’

‘don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon’ he replied. ‘but seriously, you look exhausted.’

‘fine I’ll go to bed if it’ll make you shut up about it.’ you replied, knowing that he was not going to let it go anytime soon if you didn’t.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you were scrolling through instagram looking for something to do when Auston messaged you.

‘thought you went to sleep’

‘you stalker.’ you replied with a small smile. ‘can’t sleep’

he sent you a sad face. ‘why not?’

‘idk. Just can’t’

‘im coming over.’

You rolled your eyes at that. ‘no you aren’t. Go to sleep Auston.’

You should have known that he was way too stubborn to listen to you. About twenty minutes later, you were up watching whatever on your phone when there was a knock on the door. 

“You shouldn’t have come.” you told him, but moved aside to let him inside anyway.

He pouted at you. “No way. I’m not letting you stay Sleepless in seattle all alone.” he informed you, making you smile. “Lets watch a movie or something.”

“It’s 12.40 in the morning.” you protested.

“Well you weren’t sleeping anyway.” he reasoned, settling down on your couch and flicking through netflix. You sat down next to him, cuddling up to his side for warmth.

“You don’t have to do this you know.” you told him.

“I know.” he replied, gently wrapping an arm around your waist and leaning his head on top of yours.

“What?” Auston asked when he noticed you were doing more looking at him than you were the TV. You flushed and quickly looked away. You both had been in and out of sleep for the past few hours. Truthfully, you could hardly believe he was here. He was so busy and you knew he loved sleep more than life. Yet here he was, cuddled up with you in the wee hours of the morning all because you couldn’t get to sleep. “Seriously, Y/n, you’re making me nervous.” he told you, unconsciously reaching across to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“I just.. you don’t have to be here.” you shrugged.

He rolled his eyes. “Y/n stop. No one’s forcing me to be here. I’m here because I want to be.”

That sentence alone made your heart skip. You took a breath to calm yourself. “I know. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it.” you replied with a small smile.

He smirked. “Never said why I was here though did I? Maybe I raid your chocolate stash once you’re asleep.” he replied, waggling his eyebrows at you.

You snorted. “Possible.” you mused. “I think it’d be a win for both of us.” you poked his ribs. “you’re boney”

He pouted at you. “I’m not boney.”

“You kinda are.” you retorted.

“Not as boney as you.” he smirked, nudging your side.

“Cheeky.” you laughed, contorting your body to try and get away from him. He knew you were ticklish. “I thought you were going to help me go to sleep.” you added as Auston jabbed his fingers into your waist, making you shriek out and jerk away from him.

“Never said that. I’m just here for your chocolate.” you replied with an evil grin as you writhed under his fingers.

“Stop!!” you laughed, struggling to get away. “Auston please!”

“Only if you say ‘Auston Matthews is an amazing best friend/hockey player aand the most attractive person you have ever seen.’” he smirked triumphantly.

“That’s not saying much seeing as I’ve never seen Noah Hanifin in real life.” you began, shrieking again as Auston continued his onslaught.

“Well I guess this is how you want to die. I’m not stopping anytime soon.”

“What about hockey?” you blurted out before being overcome by another wave of laughter.

“I can multitask.” He shrugged with a smirk. That. Right there. That was way too attractive than you should have found it. The smirk, the cocky confidence, the nonchalant shrug. God, you were doomed. 

Plan B was to try and escape, which ended awfully. Auston was way stronger than you were and knew exactly what you were doing. In a matter of moments he had you pinned down with no means of escape with you yelling weird stuff like “Beau Bennett wouldn’t treat me like this.”

“Say it.” Auston demanded.

“Never.” you were close to crying from how hard you were laughing. Auston was relentless but also with a weird combination of care, if death by tickle was an option, always making sure to let you breathe before he continued his assault.

“Say it.”

“AUSTON MATTHEWS SUCKS!”

“Incorrect.” he smirked and you screamed as he returned to tickling the life out of you again.

“You’re a sick person.” you spluttered out between laughter.

“I am.” he agreed, but he didn’t seem too broken up by that fact.

You finally surrendered a few moments later, Auston’s offensive too great for you to resist. Especially with that damn smirk.

“AustonMatthewsIsagreatBestFriend/HockeyPlayer.”

“Sorry what was that?” He mused.

“AUSTON MATTHEWS IS A GREAT BEST FRIEND/HOCKEY PLAYER”

“and?” he prompted with that same shit-eating grin.

“theMostAttractivePersonIHaveEverSeen.”

He raised an eyebrow and you huffed dramatically.

“AND THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PERSON I HAVE EVER SEEN.”

“Thank you.” he smirked, rolling off of you as you glared at him and smacked him in the chest. “Now can you believe I’m really a sick sadist who’s only here for your chocolate?” he mused as you got up from the couch to fetch a glass of water.

You smirked. “Sure. That, or you’re just in love with me.” you waggled your eyebrows for effect. God, you wished. Of course, you were just joking but the way Auston paled for a second made your eyes widen.

“...Oh...my god.” you whispered almost dropping your glass. “Auston...”

“I should go.” he murmured quietly.

Holy shit.

Auston Matthews had a fucking crush on you and you had been too caught up in making sure that he didn’t find out about your own gigantic crush on him, that you’d missed it. Holy Shit. H O L Y  S H I T.

“Auston,” you began. How...? When...? You had no idea where to begin.

“Goodnight Y/n.” Auston said quickly, grabbing his keys off the bench and heading for the door.

“Auston!” you were left standing there, frozen, for a few minutes before your body is finally moving, racing out of your apartment after him. You caught him outside, on the pavement before he got to his car. It was close to four in the morning and the first few slivers of sunlight were starting to pry apart the horizon, dying the sky streaks of purple. You always found this time of day some kind of magical. There was a shudder that ran through your body when your hand brushed Auston’s elbow, sending your heart racing and the butterflies in your stomach aflutter. He turned around to face you, the light did something to his eyes, catching flecks in them that you rarely got to see. Some kind of beautiful. There was that sadness in them, the one that latched onto your heart and dragged it deep down into your stomach, stealing the breath from your chest. His hands were buried deep in his pockets and he watched you silently.

“Don’t go.” you found yourself saying, you reasoned it was the fact that you couldn’t fathom how to explain to Auston how much you adored him.

“I think I’d like to be alone for a bit.” he murmured gently. “I’ll drop by later.”

That broke you in half. You found yourself stepping forward, staring up at him. He turned his head away from you.

“Auston,” you found your voice, it was choked and got caught in your throat. You reached up to place a hand to his cheek, turning his gaze back to yours. The sky began to bleed soft pinks above you. Your breath caught in your throat as you leant up, balancing on your tip toes to place a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. You felt his sharp intake of breath at your movement. You sent him a small, surprisingly sad smile as you went to move away. “I’ll see you later then.”

He was stood stiff and frozen in place as he stared at you, wide-eyed before lurching forward to catch your waist and pull you back into him. His lips were soft and cautious against your own. He relaxed into you, you could feel the tension bleed out of him as he did so.

The pale yellow light of dawn washed Auston’s beaming face in colour as he finally pulled away with a breathless laugh, resting his forehead gently to yours. You grinned up at him, equally as giggly.

“Oh,” he whispered.

[drabblemesilly]

Noah Hanifin #5

Requested by Anon:  Can you please do an imagine where Noah Hanifin and you go to your parents Xmas party and he meets your family for the first time

*Hiii! I am so so sorry! I didn’t see this when I was doing all those Christmass drabbles and just noticed it now. I hope it’s fine. Enjoy! And I’m really sorry, again. Thank you!!*

Word count: 862

It’s funny to think that thirty minutes ago, Noah Hanifin looked like his usual confident self. It seemed such a long time before when he was flexing his muscles and making you laugh while you were driving to your parents’ house. What was it, he said? That if he can play and score against Zdeno Chara, then he can go and meet your parents. You sniggered at the thought. Looking at him now, sitting in between your mom and dad, doing nothing but smiling, eating cookies, and drinking eggnog. He looks like a child who got lost in the middle of Target.

You walked over to where they were sitting and grabbed a piece of your mom’s gingerbread cookie before sitting on the chair opposite the couch where they were, “are you showing him naked baby pictures?” you rolled your eyes, “classic parental move and a little too cliché don’t you think?” you laughed.

Your mom just waived a hand but your dad cleared his throat, “just wanted him to see what he’s getting into,” he gave Noah a pointed look, “she used to eat lizard droppings when we weren’t looking.”

Props to your boyfriend for not gagging, just good naturedly laughing.

You on the other hand, ignored your dad, “don’t believe everything he says,” you told your boyfriend, “he used to tell me I’m gonna become an old maid,” you laughed, “clearly that’s not gonna happen.”

Noah shrugged, suddenly finding his voice, “I mean, we can never know… you’re still young,” he chuckled.

“Go back to your family and spend Christmas there,” you glared.

“But you’re my family,” he cooed, forgetting for a second that your parents were on either side of him.

Simultaneously, your mom’s ears perked up like a dog hearing the sound of his master coming home, while your dad’s head snapped up so hard that you’re pretty sure he’s going to have kinks tomorrow. You could see their minds churning, it’s funny.

Noah, realizing his non-mistake, squinted his eyes and cleared his throat, “I mean,” he said before shrugging and giving an awkward laugh.

“We are family,” you told your parents, “what are you overacting about?” you asked.

Your mom was the first one to say something, “I can’t believe you’re growing up so fast,” she patted Noah’s hand, “having boyfriends and stuff.”

As if Noah’s your first boyfriend. Ha.

“I just can’t believe you fooled someone long enough that he thinks of you as family,” your dad chimed in.

“You guys are the most supportive,” you laughed.

“Well, for what it’s worth,” your dad shook Noah’s hand, “thank you for loving our daughter.”

Noah chuckled, “I’m pretty sure she’s the one who got the short end of the stick, sir.”

You dad laughed, “you haven’t seen anything yet,” he stood up making excuses about the wine or something, grabbing your mom by the hand, “wait til the second year.”

When the coast was clear, you skipped over to where Noah was sitting, “I hope they’re not gunning for some alone time,” you said, making gagging noises.

Noah wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “only you would think that,” he chuckled.

You looked up at him and smiled, “all good?”

He grinned, nodding, “I like your parents, they’re funny.”

You groaned, “they also make it their job to embarrass me,” you smiled, “I hope you’re not turned off yet.”

He flexed his muscles again, a sign that he’s starting to relax, “if I can get through the lizard droppings story, then I’m pretty sure my feelings for you remain.”

“Good,” you tapped his chest, “because we still have another twelve hours here,” you giggled, “that’s twelve hours more of embarrassing stories. I’m sure my mom has a treasure trove of those.”

Maybe it’s different when you’re meeting a boy’s family than when a boy meets your family because when his family went to watch a home game in Raleigh, you couldn’t sleep for days! Noah, albeit a little nervous to meet your parents, seems to be doing great and has charmed the boots out of your mom.

“My mom likes you,” you told him, poking his chest gently, “that’s a feat considering she slays monsters for a living,” you grinned.

He shrugged, “good thing I’m not a monster, I guess,” he quickly kissed the top of your head, “she’s cool. I’m more nervous about your dad.”

You laughed, “just don’t tell him the things we do behind closed doors then you’ll be fine.”

He gasped, looking shocked, “you should have told me earlier!” he said.

You frowned, “what did you do, Hani?”

He bit his lower lip and hesitated before saying, “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to tell him that we binge on cake when it’s just the two of us,” he sniggered.

“Asshole,” you elbowed him, “you gave me a mini heart attack there, bud.”

He laughed even harder, “I’m so happy that you’re as nervous as I am.”

You shook your head, still smiling, “I just don’t know what you’re going to say to my parents next.”

“Ah,” he pulled you in to give you another kiss, “but that’s the beauty of it, right?”

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

What We Learned: Puzzling out the Hamilton trade, plus draft grades

A pretty good rule of thumb with any trade is that the team that gets the best player typically wins.

Everyone knows you can’t win without stars, right? And the argument can certainly be made that Dougie Hamilton is probably about a top-10 defenseman in the world. The two guys coming back to Calgary for Hamilton, Micheal Ferland, and star defensive prospect Adam Fox are certainly not on that level.

You can like Noah Hanifin (just 21) as a player with a lot of room for growth. You can like a versatile higher-end forward like Elias Lindholm (just 23) for much the same reason. But you can’t delude yourself into thinking either of them will ever be the kind of contributor that Hamilton is and has been.

Yet the Canadian media started circling the wagons pretty hard in defense of Brad Treliving, whose decision to trade Hamilton is interesting for a lot of reasons. Let’s first take the claims that Hamilton was not well liked in the Flames dressing room, which have been persistent. They were persistent in Boston, too, so maybe he’s just not a “good fit” on teams like this.

Now, because you can’t win without top talent, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for a team like the Flames or Bruins or, say, the Toronto Maple Leafs to bow to the pressure from inside the room. Hamilton would go to museums while the rest of the team went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, and that was the big problem? Hamitlon got sick of having a hangdog expression every time the goaltending or the Flames’ lack of depth blew another winnable game?

It seems to me that the hegemonic hockey culture might need some fixing if that’s the kind of thing that leads to an irreparable rift, especially in two rooms that would certainly pride themselves on having lots of leadership. If your leaders can’t find a way to make that relationship work for the good of the team, that’s a leadership problem and not an individual problem. Because let’s be honest, the Flames outscored opponents by 13 in all situations when Hamilton was on the ice this season. When he wasn’t on, they got outscored by 45.

This isn’t even a “look at the underlying numbers” argument. This is the definition of “watch the games,” because the Flames were one of the worst teams in the league with Hamilton on the bench even when they had him, so what makes them think trading him is going to work out well?

You can make the argument, I guess, that Hamilton really succeeded in Calgary because he played with a perennial borderline Norris candidate in Mark Giordano, and before that in Boston he played with future Hall of Famer Zdeno Chara. His numbers with both those guys are phenomenal. But both suffer without him; Giordano got badly outscored last season with someone other than Hamilton as his D partner, scoring 25 in almost 525 minutes, but conceding 43. Moreover, Hamilton’s numbers with everyone who isn’t a low-tier NHL defender or worse (i.e. Jyrkki Jokipaka, Kris Russell, or Deryk Engelland) are almost as good as his numbers with elite guys. It’s almost like, I dunno, Hamitlon is a star.

Few are dumb enough to actually argue against Hamitlon as a hockey player, so that’s where the behind-the-scenes shivving comes from. Tale as old as time, in Boston, in Calgary, elsewhere. Not that Hamitlon is joining some kind of burgeoning superteam like Phil Kessel did when he got traded for being the hot dog guy or whatever, but would it surprise anyone in the world if the Hurricanes have more success than the Flames next season?

Because Hanifin looks good at 21, has a nice draft pedigree for himself, but what do you think his ceiling is? It’s almost certainly not “top-10 defenseman in the world,” which is what the Flames just gave up. And they’ve already said they’re putting TJ Brodie back with Giordano, then partnering Hanifin with Travis Hamonic. I’m interested to see how that works out in much the same way I am interested in NASCAR races for the crashes.

Hamilton, meanwhile, has the potential to turn Jaccob Slavin into a borderline All-Star.

The real key to this trade, then, seems to be the decision to swap out Ferland, who used a favorable deployment on the Gaudreau/Monahan line and a high shooting percentage to net 20-plus goals this season, for Lindholm. I think you could pick any random fan out of the opening-night crowd and have that person put up 17-18-35 over 82 games with Gaudreau and Monahan (and hell, the Flames were probably two failed right wings away from trying it). But Lindholm is indeed a top-six winger-slash-center and that’s something Calgary needed badly. Wouldn’t be surprised to see Ferland turn back into a pumpkin away from two higher-end talents, but maybe Carolina can find a buyer who doesn’t understand how shooting percentage regression works. (Dale Tallon on line 1?)

The Adam Fox throw-in is just that. Calgary needed to make that deal because it was pretty apparent that Fox intends to stay at Harvard for at least one more season and had no desire to sign with the Flames.

Let’s break the trade down this way: Carolina got a star who makes just about everyone around him better — but also has interests outside of hockey, golf, and going to the Tilted Kilt 40 times a year — plus a decent bottom-six forward they might try to flip, and the rights to a nice prospect they may or may not be able to sign. Calgary got two complementary players who have room to grow but will likely never be impact players independent of other stars.

There is, of course, a chance that Hanifin and Lindholm combined contribute more than Hamilton and Ferland. But I wouldn’t bet too much on that.

In the end, if you don’t have a good amount of elite talent, you don’t win much in the NHL. So maybe if your elite talent is a little outside the norm of how hockey traditionally operates, you should do what you can to accommodate those players rather than ostracize them. Stars are exceptionally rare and must be guarded jealously.

If nothing else, it saves the Calgary media from having to spin another inadvisable trade to a fanbase that already has plenty of reason to be skeptical of this front office.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: Apparently Isac Lundestrom is fairly NHL-ready, maybe a year or so away. I don’t know that this fact helps them all that much because they probably have, like, a year or two left of this team being any good — especially up front — but they did what they could picking 23rd. The rest of the picks, they got some value, but this team has immediate needs. B-

Arizona Coyotes: I doooooo nooooooooooooooot understand the Barrett Hayton pick. Filip Zadina was right there! I guess Hayton’s a center but most draft boards would have put him in the late teens or early 20s at most. At five? C’mon man! But they drafted the English kid in the seventh round so, stiff upper lip then. D+

Boston Bruins: Apparently people like the Jakub Lauko pick but he was a third-round choice and, more importantly, the Bruins’ big target this weekend went to LA instead. Don Sweeney’s gonna be scrambling to get stuff done this week, and he’s working from a disadvantage now. C-

Buffalo Sabres: The Sabres finally have a good defenseman! And made a few other good picks including Matej Pekar and Linus Lindstrang Cronholm. Hard to line up against this draft, to be honest, except to say a team like this should be making more than six picks. A

Calgary Flames: When you don’t pick until the fourth round and you trade away an elite player, that’s bad, to me. F

Carolina Hurricanes: Much like the Sabres, they had a tap-in pick to make and made it. Jack Drury seems like he’s gonna be a decent college player at the very least (and he’s going to the program that recently produced NHLers like Jimmy Vesey, Alex Kerfoot, and Ryan Donato). Plus they got a top-flight defenseman. A

Chicago: Pretty easy to like the draft they turned in here. Boqvist is gonna be a player, and Jake Wise looks like great value where they got him. Plus, y’know, if you pick four times in the first 74 picks, you’re in good shape. B+

Colorado Avalanche: I’m not totally sure I get why they needed another goalie but the value is there with Gruabauer for a second and some dead cap space. That’s what teams like Colorado should absolutely be doing with their cap space all the time; get good players for nothing. Anyway, Martin Kaut, alright fine, that’s a safe pick. B-

Columbus Blue Jackets: Like Colorado, they probably made a too-safe pick in the first round but I think that’s mostly fine because this is a win-now kinda team, especially if they gotta start trading talent for fear of not being able to retain them long-term, so whatever. C-

Dallas Stars: I like that Adam Mascherin pick. He should not have been there in the fourth round but he’s 5-foot-9 so that explains everything. He’s one of two 5-foot-9 guys the Stars drafted. But to even it out, they took a guy who’s 6-foot-8 and two who are 6-foot-4. C

Detroit Red Wings: To get Zadina at 6 when he should have been gone at 3? That’s very good. To get Veleno at 30 when he should have been gone in the mid-teens? That’s great. To get a Lowell guy at 81? That’s genius! (Also of note: I don’t get the Xavier Ouellett buyout at all.) A+++++

Edmonton Oilers: Evan Bouchard at 10, maybe a little bit of value there since I mostly saw him listed in the 6-8 range. But that Ryan McLeod pick at 40 seems like it could be a real smart one. He’s one of those protypical “first-round talents available in the second round” that GMs always talk about to reassure fans that their picks are actually good. B+

Florida Panthers: This kinda felt like a whole draft of playing it safe. Which, I don’t understand that organizational philosophy since this team needs higher-end talent to take a step. Then again, Florida is good at finding talent in the draft, generally speaking, so I’ll give them a little bit of the benefit of the doubt here. C+

Los Angeles Kings: The guys they picked this year are largely immaterial because they got Ilya Kovalchuk and, in doing so, prevented a few teams in their division from doing so instead. Pretty good! B

Minnesota Wild: That Filip Johansson pick was a huge reach at 24. An almost “what are you DOING?” pick. But Jack McBain might really turn into something. Puts it somewhere in the “this is fine” range, especially because this is another team that’s gonna really need a serious rebuild in like two or three years. C

Montreal Canadiens: You knew they were gonna screw it up and they did screw it up. They really think Koktaniemi is gonna solve their problems. And it seems like they were mostly drafting for need, which is never a good idea. D

Nashville Predators: Only four picks, none before No. 111. Not ideal but this team is barely thinking about the draft. They probably shouldn’t have even shown up. Just Skype in next time. C-

New Jersey Devils: A 5-foot-11 point-a-game defenseman at No. 17? Seems like a bit of a value pick there, a little, maybe. But hey, it’s 2018 baby! Why not? Of course, they also didn’t pick again until the fourth round, so that’s not ideal. C+

New York Islanders: I like the Wahlstrom, Dobson, and Wilde picks. Ruslan Iskhakov seems like a bit of a reach but he’s going to college so he’ll have plenty of time to develop and he’s just a little guy. Looming over all that, however, is the Tavares thing. B

New York Rangers: Woof. Baffling. If you have three first-round picks you just have to do better than this. It’s not quite the Connor-Barzal-Kylington goof-up but it’s not far off. I truly don’t get it, even if I think the guys they did take are, like, fine. D+

Ottawa Senators: For the one millionth time: I like Brady Tkachuk’s game a lot, but he shouldn’t have gone fourth. There were mitigating factors behind his weirdly just-okay production, but it seems like Ottawa (and others) really talked themselves into this one. People were saying Tkachuk can be a center but if you’re not a center in your draft year, in a development league, you’re probably not an NHL center. Miss me with the “Koktaniemi played wing but he’s a center” argument, too, because that guy played in a men’s pro league. If you’re picking a wing, take Zadina. Not hard. C-

Philadelphia Flyers: They got Farabee basically right where they should have. Jay O’Brien, on the other hand, seems like a bit of a reach. Split the difference and maybe you say they’re a little below where they ought to have been? C-

Pittsburgh Penguins: Calen Addison looks like he could be a good gamble but they only had four picks so that’s tough to come back from. C+

San Jose Sharks: Huge reach on Ryan Merkley, didn’t get Kovalchuk, might get Tavares? I’ll be nice and not give them a D because, well, maybe they get Tavares. C-

St. Louis Blues: Looks like they got nice value on Dominik Bokk but I really liked that Scott Perunovich move at No. 45. Nice little draft. B

Tampa Bay Lightning: The Bolts, of all the teams in the league, picked a bunch of tall guys and an okay-scoring QMJHL winger. Not sure I get it. D+

Toronto Maple Leafs: The Leafs took four defensemen and all but one of them were under 5-foot-11. Again, it is 2018. B-

Vancouver Canucks: I love Quinn Hughes so much and Jett Woo looks like he could be a good one. Vancouver…. did well? A-

Vegas Golden Knights: Yeah, an expansion team with one pick in the first 99 is not doing well at a draft. And even Ivan Morozov (No. 61) seemed like a reach of sorts. No thanks. D+

Washington Capitals: Alexeyev might be a bit of a value pick at 31. Not so much Martin Fehervary. But whatever, you win a Cup and you don’t really care about this stuff. C

Winnipeg Jets: This was basically the most normal, regular draft any team had. Everything seemed more or less right where it should have been. So I guess you say that’s any easy C.

Gold Star Award

How did Ken Holland have this good of a weekend? Ken Holland!

Minus of the Weekend

It makes me sick that these kids are mostly 2000 birthdates. I hate it!!!!

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Week

User “GeauxPreds1” is absolutely a Preds fan.

“Roman josi+ a small add for David Pastrňák.”

Signoff

No.

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Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via HYPERLINK Corsica unless otherwise noted.)