#I am fine and have very normal feelings about this

[hockybish]

I Didn't Want This Either

l Luke Hughes l masterlist l part 1 l * warning: death *

"Can we talk?" Jack knocked on the window of Luke's car. He didn't like what he was going to ask Luke, but he needed to get the conversation over with.

"What's up?" Luke watched as Jack fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket.

Jack took a deep breath in, counted to five, before let out the inhaled air.

"I know this is never probably going to happen, but I just want to be prepared just in case. because you never know what could happen. and Addie agrees with me, for once, I know it's crazy.

"Jack spit it out."

"Now that I have two kids. I've been thinking more about what happens to them if something happens to us. And I think I want you to raise them if we can't." The older brother asked of the younger one.

"Jack, I don't know." Luke contemplated what he was being asked, which was really nothing, but he knew. "Isn't there anyone better for the job? Mom? Quinn?"

"No, Luke. Quinn and Liv have enough going on and Mom and Dad don't need to raising two little kids after the raised us." Jack explained. "Plus you're great with them and they love you so much. Please Lukey."

"Fine"

"Great! I'll add you to daycare pick up." Jack reached over to give his brother an awkward hug before they went on with their separate ways.

--

"You're pretty." Jack chanced a glanced over at his beautiful wife. They had just dropped the kids off at daycare and were on their way to the rock.

"You're not too bad yourself Mr. Hughes" Addie said scrunching her nose at the man next to her.

"I'll talk to Luke or Nico today, maybe one of them can take the kids and we can have tonight." He kept looking back and forth from the road to his wife.

"Jack watch the road please." She clenched her jaw. There was traffic all around them, making her feel a bit nervous.

"What Ads? It's fine." Jack's eyes left the road again to look at his wife.

"Jack!"

Jack never saw the car until it was too late.

--

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Luke jumped out of bed. He scrambled to get ready for practice when the brain fog cleared and he saw it was after 10 am already.

He was so late. His alarms must not have gone off or something, because he was never late for practice. And here he was going to be late for the first time in forever.

Luke chose to forgo his usual morning routine and caffeinated beverage, thinking it might give a chance to get to the practice facility faster.

He was almost there when the traffic started to picked up. There must have been an accident. All sorts of emergency vehicles were surrounding the area.

As Luke got closer to the heart of the situation he noticed a two crumpled up cars. A silver one and a very familiar looking green one.

Luke got a good long look at the wreck as he passed it. Two white sheets littered the ground, the car accident must have been that bad that people died.

That's why there was so much commotion.

He felt bad for the family that was going learn the news that they lost people they loved. Little did he know his phone was blowing up at the moment, messages and phone calls from his parents and brother, family members, teammates, and close friends with that specific news.

The now super late hockey player got to his destination only an hour later than he was supposed to be there. He thought it was a bit odd how the normally packed parking garage was near empty. Where was everyone?

"Luke what are you doing here?" Nico frowned at the defensemen who was trying to get ice ready as fast as he could.

"I know I'm late. I didn't set my alarm and then there was some big accident. I'll do extra of whatever you want. I'm sorry." Luke finishing up lacing his skates up. If he had been looking at Nico eye's went wide at the mention of the accident.

"Practice was cancelled a couple of hours ago."

"Why would they do that we have a game tomorrow?"

"The league is thinking of postponing it"

"Why?" he stopped what he was doing to look up at his captain. There was a feeling in the room, there was something seriously wrong.

Luke finally glanced around the empty locker room, it held the same odd feeling that the lot had.

"Um. Have you looked at your phone lately?" The older man scratched the back of his head nervously.

Luke furrowed his brows at the question. No, he hadn't looked at his phone, he had been a little busy trying to get there as quickly as he could, the action didn't feel necessary at the time.

But now a bad sinking feeling was telling him that maybe he should.

He had a total of 19 missed calls from him Mom, Dad, and Quinn alone. Not to mention the other various voicemails that completely filled the digital voicemail box was completely filled. On top of that there were over a hundred txt messages from a variety of people.

There was even a message from Jack, a simple heart emoji followed by an 'i luv ya bro,' that was timestamped hours before everything else.

"Nico, what's going on?" His voice hitched after he read a txt from Trevor that read 'i just heard about j. i'm so sorry.' When Luke looked up from the device he took note that Nico was now accompanied by their new coach and a few devils' personal.

"Luke you should call your parents back" The captain picked at the skin around his fingers.

"No just tell me. What's going on?" He thumbed through his device trying to decipher the

"Let's take this somewhere a little more private. Yeah?" The group of higher ups attempted to usher then to a different room a little more quiet and appropriate to have this conversation. Luke shook them off, wanting them to just spit it out.

"Say it Nico" Luke shook them off. He wanted Nico to just spit it out. He was tired of this go around and the hesitation

Nico sighed heavily. He didn't want to be the one to tell his friend the news, it would be better if it were coming from a family member, but they were all on there way to New Jersey at moment. So he had to do his best.

"There was an accident" Nico began to say. Luke felt his heart beat faster, and a pit forming in his stomach as he realized what Nico was telling him. Maybe this would have been better coming from his mom or dad, hell even Quinn.

"Jack and Addie were in the car-" Nico continued. That green car that look familiar. Jack had a green car.

"No no no no no no no." He covered his ears in an attempted to block out what Nico was telling him. This wasn't happening.

"they didn't make it." Nico finished. He put his hand on Luke's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. The kind gesture didn't help anyeay as Luke grabbed the nearest garbage pail and emptied the contents of his stomach in it.

It was true. It couldn't be true. Jack wasn't dead. This was all just some sort of prank, a sick joke. Jack was going to walk around the corner and say sike.

He need to get out of there. Anywhere but there. He had this pain in chest, and it was hard to breath anytime he thought of his brother.

He got in his car and drove without a destination in mind. He drove and drove until he found himself in a deserted mall parking lot, not another car or person in sight.

Luke sat in his perfectly fine car and screamed. There wasn't anyone around, so no one would be able to judge him. Not that he cared. He needed to get his emotions out.

Why Jack? Why couldn't have been him? If only he had been on time today, maybe it would have been him in that accident and Jack would still be alive.

He had been receiving texts all day. Luke ignored all of them. A few people called, he ignored those too. Ellen had been calling him at least once every hour, but he still refused to talk to her.

There was one number that had been persistently calling him, even more than his mother had. Maybe she had gotten a hold of a phone and was calling from that. He didn't know, but he finally decided to answer the call.

"Hello, this is Kiya over at Happy Times nursery, am I speaking to Luke?" The very peppy and friendly lady ask.

"Yeah, I've been a little busy, what is this pertaining too?" He mumbled his reply confirming it was him.

"Good, good. We've been trying to reach Jack or Addie for a couple of hours now seein that it is well past pick up time for Lucy and Felix. We were just wondering if someone was on their way to retrieve them. They are our last kids for the night and we would like to go home."

Shit

Let me know what you guys think!

[artsyunderstudy]

Kind, emotionally intelligent and supportive isn’t mutually exclusive with mlm fetishiser freak. Y’all are in your 30s/40s with husbands and children sitting around writing porn about teen boys! Let’s wake up—that shit is weird!

First, the characters are 18 when the books begin and 20 by the final book, they are young adults.

Second, queer people can have husbands and children. I am queer. This community is predominately queer. The books themselves explore trauma and intimacy and queerness in a way that resonates a lot with people of any age. It makes a lot of people feel seen and comforted.

Third, to reduce all fanfiction written about them to "fetishistic porn about teenagers" is just simply not true, but also if people want to write a story with sex in it that's written to be sexy, it's not wrong or a crime. It hurts no one. People do not have to read it if they don't like it.

Also writing books with sex is just a very normal thing. I can't understand why I need to defend this specifically. People write sex both in fanfic and regular fiction all the time.

I cannot fathom how you came across my blog if the idea of fandom culture fills you with such contempt. Or what I specifically have done to draw your attention. But, fine. Feel free to continue sending me these messages, but you can do it off anon.

[snailchimera]

A while back I saw an otherwise perfectly fine post about Murderbot and ART and the general progression of their relationship that, for no goddamn reason, decided to mention the "autistic people lack theory of mind" idea. It wasn't about autism. It wasn't refuting the idea that a character was autistic. Autism was not mentioned elsewhere in the post. It was just there, a brief, random, vaguely dehumanizing aside that I tried very hard to let go but apparently I can't.

First off, as used in that post, it implied that an adult autistic person is incapable of considering a situation from another person's perspective. That's straight up false. That's not going to be my main point but I just need to get it out of the way. Difficulty reading someone is not remotely the same thing as being unaware that they have their own experiences and thoughts, or unable to consider their perspective provided you've been given the necessary information to know/guess what that perspective is. I'm not saying Murderbot is autistic, but I am saying that it would not need subtle spaceship body language, whatever that would entail, to determine that actually yeah having a rogue SecUnit running around where all your delicate machinery including your brain is might be kind of worrying and it's not unreasonable to draw some clear boundaries. That actually is clear just from thinking it through.

Second, the idea that autistics lack a theory of mind comes from one particular study done with autistic children. The children watched a short puppet show. In it, one puppet placed an object in a box, then left the room. Another puppet came into the room, moved the object, and left. The first puppet came back into the room, and the children were asked where the puppet would look for the object. Allistic children usually said the puppet would look in the place where the puppet had originally put the object. Autistic children usually said the place where the object currently was.

So here's my question: did the autistic children know they were allowed to give a "wrong" answer?

Because here's the thing. Being autistic means that, from a very young age, you are painfully aware that your perception of the world around you is not the same as other peoples'. Normally I'd emphasize the difference in sensory perception here, but actually it's not uncommon for autistic kids to think everyone experiences certain sensory input as horribly painful and other people are just better at not reacting badly to it (this is also true of allistic people with pain conditions, as an example). But knowing you're missing social cues? That's near unavoidable. People are constantly assuming you know things about how they feel and why they're taking a specific action, because it's "obvious". You know you're supposed to know. You know it's supposed to be easy, so easy in fact that when you say you don't know these things you're accused of lying. Allistic people constantly assume you have context that you don't have, context that they're presumably getting from things like tone of voice, body language, etc. It's like being presumed fluent in a language that you only have a limited grasp of, and accused of not listening, not caring, or even not understanding the idea of language as a means of communication when you can't understand everything other people say.

A common complaint autistic people have about allistic people is in fact that allistic people expect us to be mind readers. Of course that's not true- allistic people expect us to pick up on forms of communication that we easily miss or misunderstand, but they are in fact communicating- but given the nature of our puppet show, that feeling might be relevant, right?

Let's imagine a different puppet scenario. Puppet A puts their ball in a chest. They leave the room. Puppet B moves the ball from the chest to a cabinet, but leaves a note saying where they moved the ball to. Puppet A comes back into the room, reads the note, and correctly locates the ball.

Now another one. Puppet A puts their ball in a chest. They leave the room. Puppet B moves the ball from the chest to a cabinet, but leaves a note saying where they moved the ball to. Puppet A comes back into the room. They don't see the note, and can't find their ball. When they ask Puppet B where their ball is, Puppet B is furious. B left a note! What is wrong with A that they can't read a simple note? A must have read the note but ignored it just to have an excuse to bother B.

Autistic children are surrounded at all times by invisible notes, and people who react extremely negatively, sometimes even violently, when they find out you're not reading their notes (because you can't, because you don't even see them).

So. Puppet A puts their ball in a chest. They leave the room. Puppet B moves the ball from the chest to a cabinet. Puppet A comes back into the room. The allistic child has never had to consider whether they themselves are missing information that everyone else who watched the puppet show has. They know there's no way for Puppet A to know the ball was moved. They correctly state that Puppet A will look in the chest.

Puppet A puts their ball in a chest. They leave the room. Puppet B moves the ball from the chest to a cabinet. Puppet A comes back into the room. The autistic child has been in many situations where they're expected to know something they had no way of knowing, like the new location of a ball they weren't told was moved. They've been in many situations where another person knew what they didn't know, even though they both received the same information. They've gotten in trouble for not knowing things. Maybe they've made people they care about angry or sad by not knowing things. Now there's an adult, an authority figure, the kind of person who might punish you or get you in trouble with your parents for giving them the wrong answer, asking you where the puppet is going to look for the ball. Well, you can't just assume you know what the puppet knows. Maybe the puppet read an invisible note. Or maybe (remember these are very young kids), the puppet is like you, someone who can't read the invisible notes, and they're going to get in trouble for looking in the wrong place unless you help them.

So you don't give the answer that makes sense to you, that Puppet A looks in the chest because that's where they left the ball. You give the "right" answer, the actual location of the ball, the answer Puppet A was probably supposed to be able to figure out in some way you know you can't see.

I'm not a psych expert. My only claim to expertise here is as an actual autistic person (diagnosed, twice actually due to a mixup with the transfer of medical records across state lines). But I have read enough to notice a trend in autism studies of taking the least charitable possible interpretation of any difference between autistic and allistic people (see the "rigid morality" study, in which sticking to one's moral stance when presented with rewards for abandoning it was pathologized in the conclusion because autistic people did so more than allistic people). There's a very long history (a part of the larger very long history of eugenics) of deliberately looking for ways to scientifically support the decision to treat autistic people as subhuman, or nonhuman.

That is probably why so many of us like stories about sad robots.

Anyway that's my rant, it's over, thank you for reading to the end. If you actually wanna take something from this whole mess, just... try to be kind to people. Do your best to understand where they're coming from, and help them understand where you're coming from.

[laura1633]

ALPHA OSCAR x ALPHA CHARLES x OMEGA MAX WITH a wee bit alpha x alpha element Laura You are going to KILL ME I AM DEAD

I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS (No pressure, please don't get pressurised by my overexcited yelling)

Haha well I am sure it would be super hot! It's kind of in line with something I am trying to write but here are some totally random thoughts.

Max is a sweet omega who is very tactile. Having two alphas is perfect for him because it means he almost always has someone to curl up in the nest with. If Oscar is away with Mclaren then Charles tries to make sure he is around and vice versa. Best of all though Max likes it when the nest is full and he has both his alphas curled around him, their scents mix together really well. 

To mate properly an omega needs an alpha to bite down into their mating gland. When the time is right Max bares his neck for both of his alphas and feels their teeth sink into either side of his neck. The sudden rush of endorphins makes Max's body buzz with excitement. He proudly turns up to the paddock the next week with both of his alphas marks on him. 

When it comes to heats Max will, if possible, have both of his alphas with him. He likes to keep full up so Oscar and Charles takes turns to knot him. Towards the end of his heat when he is more desperate and whiny they sometimes both knot him at the same time, one alpha pushed up behind him and one in front. 

Max finds it a real turn on if one of his alphas comes inside him and then the other eats him out afterwards. 

When it comes to ruts Oscar and Charles will normally have different rut cycles. They will lock themselves away with Max for the duration. It’s a comfortable arrangement but the other alpha does get a little jealous hearing Max’s moans from the other side of the door. As soon as the rut is over the other alpha will be very handsy and all over Max. 

From time to time Oscar and Charles’ ruts will sync up. That is the only time they get possessive over Max. They sometimes growl at each other as they both want all of Max’s attention. It can sometimes turn a little physical but nothing too heavy and post rut they are fine again. Max will never admit it but the sight of two alphas fighting over him is hot. 

At the start of the relationship Charles and Oscar only engage in sexual contact with Max but there is an underlying sexual tension. Max spots it early on but wants them to come to their own realisation. He does however start dropping hints about how hot two alphas together are. Oscar and Charles start indulging their omega (and themselves) by making out in front of Max. As they hear their omega start purring and getting excited the kiss gets more intense. 

Oscar (or Charles) goes into rut by complete surprise when Max is out of the country and Charles (or Oscar) offers to step in in Max’s place and let the other alpha fuck them. They make a call to Max to make sure he is fine with it and Max is so whiny down the phone at the thought that he is going to miss seeing it. He makes them film it so they can all watch it together when he gets home. 

Even though Oscar and Charles hook up from time to time they still like to give Max most of their attention. Their omega makes the most adorable noises when he comes and always blushes and gets shy when they both start praising him.

[lynnieos]

Best Commissioned song from each character except I don't know anything about instruments and am bad at describing things.

Ichika (Hoshi wo Tsunagu): eh it's good. I don't really like any of her songs and this one is the best out of all of them. (I'm sorry bbg). Runner up is Made To Order

Saki (Tera Tera): What do you want me to say. Tera Tera is Tera Tera bro. Okay no lol it's a really good song and extremely catchy, the guitar is very fun and ichika saki and miku and a wonderful trio. Aioi is the runner up

Shiho (Peaky Peaky): I want 🎸🎸 to be 🎸🎸 legit-

What do you expect. The guitars. The basically trio of KAITO shiho and ichika. SHIHO. it's so catchy and funky and fun, which isn't normally something Leo/Need gets to be in their songs (which is fine I just wish they got more spunky stuff). Kaito is really well tuned and the guitar goes so fucking hard along with shiho and ichikas vocals. runner up is purpose

Honami (Flyway): literally gorgeous. Like. What else do I say. It's so different from Leoni's usual songs and it's better for it? Like the violins and whatever string instrument they're using is beautiful while still having some guitar or bass in there (I think) is just a wonderful mix of instruments and I wish they got to branch out more like that. Don't even get me started on the vocals HONAMI IS KILLING IT HERE. ichika's voice when the key changes is fucking amazing and everything about this song makes me want to scream. Ily honami. Runner up is Regulus

Airi (Momoiro no kagi): Holy fuck the everything about this song is just. Phenomenal. Everyone's vocals are on point, the instruments used are soft while still carrying, just like Airi's voice, like it was made for her (because. Well. It was.) This song is a lot different from her other songs and while I love (most of) them, this one is special to me because it's just so unlike her other ones and allows us to see a different side of her voice, one that's more melancholy. I'm going to stop here omg airi I love you sm. Runner up is Parasol Cider

Shizuku (Metamo RE:BORN): this song is so fucking stimmy and bouncy I ADORE it. The little click clacks in the background, the percussion doing absolute wonders, the vocals being so bouncy and matching the instrumentals perfectly, the buildup in the bridge (?) Is fucking amazing omg. Bopping so hard to this song it's so fun. Runner up is Hug

Haruka (Ai No Material): THE BEGINNING. THE SPARKLY SOUNDS. THE FUCKING VOCALS. everything about this song is so beautiful. I love everything about this song (except MEIKO'S tuning but. That's a whole other issue.) The chorus is so happy but in that calm, almost reserved way that reminds me of Haruka. It feels like floating on a teardrop. The guitar solo is good and so are all the parts after it omg. The soft quiet moment before the song picks up again for the end makes me want to bop my head i cant this song makes me so happy. THE ENDING ALSO. OH MY GOD. I CAN'T. I LOVE THIS SONG SM. runner up is float planner

Minori (World Wide Wander): this song is so fucking good. Why did y'all never tell me. This used to be in the bottom now it's one of my favorites. This song is so non-minori but it's literally perfect for her at the same time? The guitars, the overall... Vibe it gives off, you wouldn't expect a song like this from MMJ but they pull it off flawlessly. The guitars were an unorthodox choice but once again are actually really good. Also airi in this song omfg she sounds so good I can't- just. It's so catchy and fun I love it. Runner up is Teamate

An (Overthrow): I am so sorry An. This song is good. Rin's tuning is good and the chorus is great. The part where akito and an go off is good. I think this song does a good job of displaying everyone's unrest and upset after learning about such earth-shattering news. But it's nothing amazing to me. Runner up is Awake Now

Toya (Utsuro wo Aogu): everything about this song is so great. GOD. like. Holy shit Toya. The instrumentals are super good and do a fuck ton for the song, but the vocals are definitely a highlight in particular. Everyone sounds amazing and the girls acting as almost backup singers while still having their time to shine in the song is really charming to me. Of course the part where everyone says a part of their partner's name makes me want to rip at the walls/pos. But the part right after that makes me want to get up and scream omg. Everyone is on their A-game in this song and that makes this songs so fucking amazing omg. "Runner up" is blender

Okay so this was written pre-blender and now my opinions have changed blender is the best Toya comm but I don't feel like writing another analysis so it's the runner up

Kohane (Hitsuji ga ippiki): EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SONG IS PERFECT. the vocals the tuning the instrumentals the everything. Everyone is pulling their weight and akina and jiena went OFF in the recording studio. The buildup is so fucking good you don't understand. And Akina's like. Rolling of her Rs at the end killed me dead/pos. Kohane got to shine in a way she NEVER does in other songs and really got an opportunity to show how she can fit so so well into grungier songs and also MEIKO'S tuning is good for once so we all knew this song was gonna be a banger. Runner up is Beat Eater

Akito (Cinema): This song singlehandedly made me love Akito. And it's the first song to make me cry. I LOVE Cinema. The song to me isn't catchy or anything that scratches my brain but it's so fucking good that I love it a lot anyway. The lyrics speak to me a lot because of my experiences with not feeling like enough, wanting to give up but pushing through anyway because maybe, maybe one day I'll be able to be someone with something. But the lyrics progressively get more hopeful throughout the song, and I get more hopeful along with them. I don't have to wait around for the day to come when I can make that day today or smth. Idk man that song fucks me up. Like. A lot. Runner ups are Moonlight AND CRaZY

Kanade (Tricologe): I don't have much to say about this song. It's funky and fun and literally Kanade's only good comm (I'm sorry samsa). The vocals are good and I like Miku's tuning in this song. Um. Kanade's vocals are really good. NILFRUITS being commissioned for Kanade of all people is really surprising but done really well. Idk man this song really is good I just don't have anything much to say about it. Runner up is Kanadetomosusora

Ena (Nomad): all of ena's songs are around the same level of good but nomad beats out the others because of just how much of an improvement the full version is. I Nandesu is good either way and so is Infinitely Gray, but Nomad's full version is so much of a glow up in comparison to the game version that I can't help but appreciate it more. That and mizuki and Ena murder this song with their phenomenal vocals so this one takes the cake. The instrumentals are as per usual good and the like. Idk what it is but the little high pitched noise that plays is so so good. I love it. Runner up is I Nandesu

Mizuki (Kitty): you know what this song shouldn't be my favorite. It's just. So. Fucking. Catchy. It was the song I listened to the most over the summer. I was playing it non-stop and it somehow became my favorite that way. The guitars in particular goes so fucking hard in this song for no gaddamn reason and Ena's "1, 2, 3, 4" followed by the mizumafu part was a fatal combination. This song was nothing to me at the beginning because I was low-key tired of electric guitar but this song is so absurdly good it kinda trumps that. How did this happen. Runner up is IDSMILE

Mafuyu (Bug): Everything in this song is perfect and it was my favorite song in the entire game for so long. You don't understand. The instrumentals the hard intense beats and the fast pace. It's addicting. The small little noises and vocals that they added are so so good. But what really majes this song is mafuyu. This song has the best vocals in the entire game and Mafuyu is the reason why. The buildup then the sudden key change with Mafuyu fucking belting like she never has before. I stim so fucking hard to this song. Niigo has literally never sounded better than in this song and no other Nightcord song has been able to top this one since. Runner up is Jackpot Sad Girl

Rui (Showtime Ruler): this song is really good I like it. The lyrics are super sweet the instrumentals are so fun and spunky and so very Rui. Everything about this song is Rui. The instrumental the lyrics the fucking 3DMV. The little robot sounds in the bg (listen with headphones to hear it better.) Tsukasa and Rui's solos nearing the end of the song are so fucking good. This song is the embodiment of fun and quirkyness and Rui in general it makes me sick I love this song. The guitars are also really fun. Runner up is Donketsu

Nene (Glory Steady Go!): NENE!!!! THE GIRL!!!! Now THIS is how you make a song featuring mainly a duet between the VS and the Character of the song (im sorry leoni ilysm just not your songs). Nene is so perfect in this song, she sounds so free and happy in a way she doesn't normally mainly because she gets so many solo lines WHICH IS A GOOD THING!! ITS HER SONG IT'S ABOUT HER!!! The others do a perfect job of enhancing nene's vocals while still having a spot to shine without taking the focus away from Nene. The line distribution in this song is masterful and that's one of the main reasons why I love it so damn much. The instrumentals are fun as fuck and encapsulate Nene really well for me, still being chaotic and fun (because it's wondersho) but still keeping that slight subdued-ness that Nene has. It feels like Nene letting loose and just. Letting herself be a bit less... Reserved? She sounds like she's having a good time I mean. Luka is tuned really well here and adds a lot to the song, which is a trend in Luka comms. The small chants and tiny little noises of laughter and screams and talking is just so great man. The moment before the final chorus where Nene is like "you guys are a headache but doing shows with everyone is super fun!" While slightly crying I fucking hate wandasho I need to run them over oh my fucking god they love each other so much. That's it. That's what this song makes me feel. The song doesn't just feel like Nene cutting herself loose it feels like her letting herself get caught up in the rest of wandasho's antics. She's letting herself be influenced by the rest of wandasho and by a result the song is more chaotic than what you'd expect from Nene. Because Nene would have never gotten to this point without her friends. Without wandasho. I'm gonna fucking cry omg Nene is literally the best character in this game omg. Runner up is Hoshizora no Melody

Emu (Kira pipi Kira pika): this song is perfect. It's perfection. It's literally one of the best songs in the entire game. Words cannot describe how much I love this song. The instrumentals are amazing, but they also don't go as hard in favor of letting the voices shine instead. And the fucking voices. Emu sounds really cute here, matching the songs tempo to near perfection, but honestly I have to give this song to the entire group as a whole (which makes a lot of thematic sense considering how integral her friends are to her as a person and by extent her story). The small little exchanges and rapid-switching from one singer to another does a perfect job of keeping the energy high and fanciful, and when the song does slow down, it feels just the right amount of somber (especially since this song is so happy otherwise) while picking back up in a natural and very impactful way. It mirrors the relationship in wondersho; whenever Emu is feeling down and needs some reassurance, the others are always there to pick her back up and help her get going again. this song feels like it's telling you a story; the story of Wonderlands x Showtime, the story of Emu learning to move on and go to her next adventure with her friends omfg I love Emu so fucking much I would kill for her. Runner up is Niccori ^^ Survey Theme

And last, but definitely not least...

Tsukasa (Mr. Showtime): Okay. Okay okay okay. This. Fucking. Song. I literally cannot type because I keep getting swept up in the fucking PERFECTION that is Mr. Showtime. This song is the best song in the entire game. And I do NOT say this lightly. The instrumentals. The vocals. Luka. FUCKING TSUKASA TENMA. Oh my fuckinf god. Everyone and everything in this damn song is fucking PERFECT, this is Wonderlands x Showtime pushed to their fucking limits with how fucking hard they can go with a song. This feels like something straight out of a fucking musical and I mean that in the highest of praises. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is on their fucking A-game here. Tsukasa of course steals the show with his PHENOMENAL vocals, but Rui Nene and Emu are not taking a backseat in this song. Holy shit it is the opposite. They carry this song on their fucking backs (along with tsukasa) because if they weren't there the song would be SO much worse. Like so much. God this song is so smooth and seamless and mesmerizing, it's too easy to get swept up in the song and dance along with it. It makes you want to get up and dance. Actually no I'm nowhere near done this song makes me want to CRY OMFG. I'm abt to go into specifics about EVERYTHING be Warned.

Okay so the instrumentals are perfect. Literally perfect. The saxophone (I think) is THE MAIN REASON WHY THIS SONG IS PERFECT. i have no idea what kinda percussion that is in the background but it does a perfect job of keeping you following along with the beat so I never go off track. The piano is SO GOOD. I know it's most major appearance is in the beginning but you can hear it if you listen closely, right before the chorus, kinda like a lead-in to it? It makes me sick. Hitoshizuku x yamaP put crack cocaine into these instrumentals. And no I'm not done btw. I have no fucking idea what it is but the like. Percussion. In the part where tsukasa is holding the balloons (In the 2dmv) is great. And I love that part. The instrumentals atp have only stopped like once so the sudden lack of saxophone and other stuff makes this moment more impactful and makes it HURT I LOVE THIS SONG. Another thing I'd like to mention is that they have never gone so fucking hard on the instrumentals before. There are a BUNCH of subtle changes, such as putting more or less emphasis on an instrument and stuff like that. How do I say this the song feels like it follows along with the vocalists and adjusts things depending on the current mood of the characters. Dare I say. Like a musical

Idek what to call it but the SFX are also amazing. The tape reel in the part after the first chorus and the clapping before the Intermission part always gets me really excited. I'm also including the little small noises that the others make and classifying them as sound effects. Emu and Tsukasa's little cheer in the part right before the second chorus is so good I rewind it over and over again I hate them they make me sick.

And now the vocals. I am going to be going on an incoherent rant now. Tsukasa is obviously the lead but he's also the leader of this song, so yes he gets the most impactful parts but it also feels like he directs when the rest of the cast respond (0:19-0:23 is a good example of what I mean), like he calls and they call back to him i guess? words are hard. Anyway the vocals are so well coordinated and perfect. Every character gets to have their own moment and the way the song switches from vocalist to vocalist (a perfect example is 2:37-2:44 if you're confused) keeps the song from ever feeling stagnant which then means I always get distracted by it cause it keeps you engaged the entire time.

I'm not good at interpreting lyrics but the lyrics hurt me/ pos. Read them and you'll understand. The double meanings hurt meeee- tsukasa loves his friends so much he loves being an actor so much he wants to keep going he wants to hold on he wants to remember he is so full of determination and love and that is a potent combination. I love you tsukasa tenma. Can you tell I like tsukasa tenma. Fuckkkkkkkk. Runner up is 88* and Filament Fever

Okay that's it! You can definitely tell where my biases kicked in and it's very obvious I know nothing about instruments but otherwise I think this is okay. Thank you for reading and if you have any input to add please do I would love to hear it

[pityroadart]

Hi Nic!! What's the thing you most look forward to doing when you're drawing/painting? I've never touched a paintbrush in my life, sorry if that's a super broad question. But say, your eye watercolours- is it trying to reproduce the tones with a limited (at least to a digital artist) palette? The initial drawing stage? Painting in the wispy lashes and brows? It all seems like magic to me!!! 😍

Hello I apologise for the late reply! Race week was busy, and I wanted to give your lovely message the care it deserves (& also I just love talking about watercolours)

That's a hard question! I really enjoy the process as a whole (except when I am complaining about it, which is an important part of the process), especially my eye paintings because they're so intuitive to me by now.

But, a few parts I really enjoy are:

1. Choosing the palette — both the actual paint palette I'll be using (I have so many), and the palette of usually 2-6 actual paint colours I'll be mixing my colours from. I'm a bit of a pigment nerd, so figuring out which paints are gonna have the perfect properties (granulation, staining etc) and mix the colours I want very enjoyable

2. The first wet wash, normally working wet-in-wet (applying diluted paint to already wet paper), where the goal is to simply place your colours in the approximate areas they should be, and let the watercolour work its magic.

Here's a couple WIP shots of my Yuki eye, in both that initial stage and the one I'm about to describe below:

3. Getting the darkest darks in, and all of a sudden, just like magic, it becomes an eye! This is normally the third layer out of an approximate 4, and whilst I try to save the individual brow hairs and lashes until that final stage, I'll often mostly block them in here. An artist I follow on youtube, Arleebean, says often that if you feel your painting is going through the Ugly Stage, you've probably lost your values and need to get the (relatively) darkest darks in to bring it back to balance. It's a rule I live by, and that's what this stage is to me. I also get any freckles/spots/splatters in at this point, which is very fun to do too!

I hosted a watercolour workshop on eye paintings back in 2022 (and have another planned for this year), and here's a step-by-step I made of the first four stages (sketch, wet wash, mid tones, darks) in preparation for that. The final step after that would be, as you mentioned, any fine eyebrow hairs and eyelashes, which I think you can tell it's missing here

4. And possibly the stage I get most excited about, from about the middle of the painting onwards if it seems to be going my way, is posting it in the group chat or on here and watching my fandom friends and mutuals yell about it :)) Big fan of that, even if I am usually terrible at replying to nice comments :')

Here's a selection of older eyes I painted again as workshop examples, all using a limited palette of four colours (quin gold hue, pyrrol red, ultramarine, burnt umber)

+ a selection of more recent eyes:

Thank you so much for the lovely message! I adore your art (& seriously, if you're ever in the mood for an art collab or something, you know where to find me), so I'm glad you enjoy mine too ☀

[mochiwrites]

gentle touch of morning

( a small scarian epic au piece <3 reblogs do more than likes! )

It’s funny. 

Over the twelve long years Scar spent fighting, leading his men into battle, the thought that kept him going was his eventual homecoming. Every waking thought was of his husband and son, and Scar’s reason for living, for breathing, was his family. As he sailed rocky waters, faced monsters and gods alike, lost men after men, Scar wished for nothing more than to be home, to awake with his husband sleeping beside him. 

But as he stands in his home, the one he most intimately knows, Scar feels… wrong. Out of place. He’d woken up early, savoring the sight of Grian’s sleeping face (he could never get tired of it), and felt so restless that staying in bed for any longer seemed impossible. So Scar took to walking around his home. 

He and Grian built this place up, together. The memories are some that Scar looks back on fondly. He could never forget it, no matter how much time he spent away from it. Scar only fears that it has forgotten him. 

Scar takes easy steps, walking and reacquainting himself. He notes the pictures, most of them being of his son. He hardly sees Grian in any of them, perhaps one or two, less than a handful. And the ones that Grian is in, his smile doesn’t light up his face. It makes Scar frown. 

He wanders for a bit, traversing each winding hallway with careful movements. It’s as if he fears the house may collapse at any moment, or some attacker may jump from the shadows, perhaps a god will catch him off guard and finish him off. Not even in his home does he feel the full safety he’s supposed to. These walls feel foreign, unfamiliar. Even if he can picture everything clearly in his mind, knows this place like the back of his hand. Scar still feels like a stranger. 

Eventually, he finds himself in the kitchen. He pauses in the doorway, catching sight of another person. 

His son. 

His little Pitta. 

Well, not as little anymore, as a young boy at fourteen. But to Scar it still feels like he’s just an infant that he could cradle in his arms. Another thing time robbed him of. So many missed moments, opportunities, to watch his son grow. And while Scar knows that there are still many years to come, to see, a piece of him mourns the time he lost.

For a moment, Scar keeps quiet. He watches his son, taking in his dark brown hair and hazel colored eyes. He’s the striking image of both Scar and Grian somehow, even if they aren’t related to him. But Scar loves him all the same; would move mountains to give him whatever he needed. He can’t help but wonder what kind of person his son is, what he likes and dislikes. Does he resent Scar for leaving? Does he consider Scar his father, or a stranger who left a loving husband alone for years on end? He doesn’t want to find out. Not now. 

Scar stands there until he can’t anymore, finding hazel eyes landing on him. He watches the way in which Pitta’s eyes light up, turning all shiny and bright when he notices his father. He turns away from the counter, abandoning the slices of bread he had taken out. He smiles, and gods, does his smile look like Grian’s. “Papa!” Pitta greets, the timbre of his voice cheerful and soft. 

“Hey, Pitta,” Scar returns, heart melting each time he’s reminded that he’s finally returned home. He never thought it would happen, that maybe it’d take him longer, or maybe something would strike him down on the way back. But against all odds, fourteen years, and Scar is home. His son stands in front of him. 

“What’re you doing awake? Is dad up too?” Pitta questions, raising a brow at him. 

“Uh…” Scar blanks, unsure of what to say. It’s not like he’s going to tell the truth, Pitta shouldn’t have to worry about him. Scar has already caused him enough pain, there’s no need to cause more now that he’s actually here. “Gria— your dad’s still asleep,” he stammers. The words feel awkward on his tongue, like they shouldn’t be there. This life of domesticity… he doesn’t know how to go about it. It isn’t just some enemy he can cut down. 

The very thought makes him nauseous. 

“Oh!” Pitta blinks at the response. “Well, that’s… good.” He nods to himself awkwardly, and Scar hides a grimace. 

He… really doesn’t know how to interact with his son. 

There’s this dark curdling of doubt in his mind that begins to creep up, settling over him. He’s afraid. Worried that this is one thing he’ll never overcome. It’s a familiar feeling, an old friend, a once enemy turned begrudging shadow. It’s a feeling he experienced in battle, traversing home, taking his castle back from scoundrels that dare to stain it. But there is a new fear that joins it, overwhelming like a tidal wave. 

Does he even know how to be a father? 

Scar feels his breath sharpen just a tad, skipping a beat and hastening. He can feel hands curling around his throat, beginning to press into his skin. He feels it tightening on him, the grip firm. The pressure starts off as something light, until the fingers of Fear dig deeper with each shakingly quiet breath. It gets stronger and stronger, straining his lungs until he can feel his throat being squeezed, choked. 

“Papa?” Pitta’s voice breaks him from the spiraling thoughts, from the overwhelming fear sneaking in. 

The hands around his neck relax, and the terror recedes, sinking back into the depths of his mind momentarily. He allows himself a moment to breathe, a chance to suck in a soft breath and recenter. His vision clears, and he becomes aware of the way his heartbeat pounds in his ears, loud like a drum. 

He manages a smile, “I’m uh, gonna go check and see if our Sleeping Beauty is awake.” Keeping his eyes trained on his son, Scar tries to maintain his light smile. He takes a few small steps back, slipping into a casual mask. He’s gotten quite good at it over the years of putting on a brave face. “Be right back.”

Pitta watches him, brows creasing in concern as he goes. “Oh… okay,” he answers, sounding resigned as Scar retreats. 

Scar turns around, and brings himself back to the beautiful olive tree where his Grian is fast asleep. The sun shines down on him, cutting through the green leaves. The light spills into their bed, painting a halo in the soft yet sandy blond locks of Grian’s hair. He rests in their bed, eyes shut and face relaxed. His body is curled somewhat, the blanket tucked just over his shoulders. 

Staring at him, taking in the near angelic sight, Scar takes a few breaths to calm himself. He walks over to their bed, sitting down on the edge, right beside Grian. He contents himself with just sitting there, watching the rise and fall of Grian’s chest. It feels a little easier to breathe, with the love of his life right here, peaceful. Scar can almost allow himself to pretend he lives in a world where he never went to war, where he never had to leave his family behind. He can almost allow himself to pretend he was the husband and father he should have been. 

Chest aching and overflowing with doubt and regret, Scar reaches out. Tenderly, Scar brushes some of Grian’s hair away from his face. He ever so softly tangles his fingers in the silky strands as he rhythmically cards through his hair. Scar’s expression softens, chest swelling with love for the man before him. He drags the pads of his fingertips along Grian’s head, feeling the soft locks under his touch. 

He can’t imagine what it was like, doing so much alone for so long. Scar has always believed Grian to be strong, the strongest person he knows. But this? Scar doesn’t think anyone could compare, not even the gods. 

Not in the way it matters, at least. 

His thumb idly strokes Grian’s cheekbone, loving and sweet. “I’d be lost without you, my light,” he murmurs. Because it’s true. Scar would’ve given up a long, long time ago if he didn’t have Grian and Pitta to come home to. Grian is his rock, his eye of the storm, his compass. Scar is caught within Grian’s orbit, forever wrapped up in him. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for this man. Grian kept their home in one piece. He raised their son. He handled whatever it was that Scar couldn’t in his time away. Grian held out hope for fourteen years that Scar would come back to him. 

Scar owes him everything and more. But most importantly, Scar owes him his love. And by the gods will he offer every last ounce of it, every drop. Scar is a man. No general, and certainly no hero. He is just a man who wants to pour his heart and soul out for his spouse. Scar is just a man in love. 

Beneath his touch, Grian’s face twitches, and he begins to stir. “Mmm… Scar?” he mumbles, still groggy and waking up. 

“Good morning, my love.” Scar smiles at him, brushing away a particular curl of hair before stroking his cheek. “Sleep well?”

“‘ink so, yes. It was warm with you,” Grian answers, leaning into the hand on his cheek. “What’re you awake for?” 

Scar pauses, if only briefly. “Uh, well, y’know. Just admiring my pretty husband while I have the chance,” he answers, which isn’t entirely a lie. 

Grian looks at him with clear suspicion, but doesn’t push. Instead, he sighs quietly as pushes himself to sit up. “You can do that when I’m awake too,” he teases, leaning to press their lips together. Scar is more than happy to sink into it, using the hand on Grian’s cheek to angle his head slightly, deepening it. The kiss is sweet, loving. It’s slow and patient, carrying the patience of fourteen years within it.

When they pull away, Scar rests their foreheads together. “I guess I can, yeah,” he agrees softly. “Mind if I take a few more minutes to admire him?” 

Grian smiles, kissing the corner of his mouth in return. “I suppose.”  Scar simply smiles, and gods is he happy to be home. No amount of fear could ever leave him unhappy to be back with the loves of his life. Never. 

[falderaletcetera]

feeling inordinately soft at the realisation that at the end of the Father Brown cult ep (really not my favourite), when sid and susie say they've heard that mrs mccarthy stole her strawberry scone recipe and mrs m (quite fairly) takes their scones back and has to chase sid off-screen for his, father brown quietly offers his one to susie.

context is that susie is officially hired by them to clean the presbytery and she has a rough time in this ep, and father brown generally takes any and every opportunity to have sweet things (good for him dot png.)

inordinately soft about it

[lyxchen]

When you feel weird saying your favorite actors name out loud when talking to your parents or friends because it feels like it's going to reveal how deeply obsessed you actually are

[nbmudkip]

im CRAAAAZZZYYYY im FUCKING INSANE!!!!!! i’m a cycle path….. HHHHHHHFDRRRRRRRHHHHHGHHHH

[dandyshucks]

ouhhhh the neighbour doesn't have any supplies of her own for crochet and I'm teaching her and my mother today starting in just over an hour

and i am ... not selfish with my supplies but i am unemployed and living off a very tight budget (cannot purchase any more yarn for projects unless i manage to do some pretty spectacular savings on my groceries for the month which is... not very doable) so I'm a tad worried she's going to be good at crocheting and want to Make Something with the yarn that i do have fjdskl and I would normally be totally fine with that but considering there's basically nowhere in town to buy yarn (i've had to buy online) and shipping is $20+ lately, that's not exactly a great thing for me right now 🧍‍♂️

[lagtrain]

THEY ARE STUNNING THEY ARE EVERYTHING THEY ARE THE FUCKING MOMENT

[sux2be]

taking my heart out and stomping into the ground dont you dare get another friend crush. dont fucking do it.

[piplupod]

hate waking up scared for no apparent reason. girl what do u mean im scared of going to my old lady yarn group !!!!!

[trashbaget]

[pepprs]

hi mutuals not to doxx myself but im in boston literally rn :D 🤯🤯🤯