#I am floored. baby Lucius real

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

TEMPEST TRIALS BABY LUCIUS ALT?!?!??

INTSYS HAS BLESSED MY LIVESTOCK AND WATERED MY CROPS

[phantompanties]

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

The First Meeting

pairings: incubus oc (Lucius) x fem!reader

Tags and warnings: loss of virginity, corruption kink (kind of), long tongue, cunnilungus, vaginal fingering, dick piercings, vaginal sex, soft domming, mild use of master, teasing, mild tattoo kink, monster fucking, creampie, aftercare, always pee after sex pussy havers!!!! Its important!!!

Length: 3k+ words

Part 2

You were never much of a people person, to be honest. Meeting new people was always a nerve-wracking endeavour. You yearned for a lover for a long time, but your complications with meeting strangers made things difficult. On multiple occasions you tried to muster the courage to try dating apps, but the horror stories you’ve heard made you shy away every time. It made times like right now especially difficult. When you were so unbearably horny but not even your toys were cutting it. You were desperate and couldn’t wait that long for the right person to come by and treat you right.

That led you to right now, possibly your most embarrassing moment. You scrolled a sketchy occult website on your phone, chanting an incantation in most likely very poor Latin as you were surrounded by lit candles meticulously arranged in a circle on the floor. You adjusted your sheer bra and the leather harness accentuating your figure, hoping that whatever you were about to summon would be impressed. When you finished the incantation, you waited in silence for a moment. Then another, and another.

…nothing. Not even a noise or shift in the atmosphere. You knew it was too good to be true. Sighing, you got ready to blow out the candles and go to bed in disappointment and shame. As your fingers touched the sleek black wax, the flame suddenly turned a bright blue, and the rest of the candles followed suit. You gasped as the flames got bigger, falling back on your ass so you didn’t burn yourself.

“Uh oh, nearly got your eyebrows there.” a deep voice echoed from nowhere.

“Huh!?” you gasped, looking wildly around your dim room for whoever spoke. “W-who’s there?”

The voice chuckled, the sound smooth and velvety. “Who do you think, darling? Didn’t you summon me?”

“Wh-what-” your eyes widened when on the wall in front of you where your shadow was cast, long curved horns grew from your head. You tilted your head left, and the horns followed, to the right, they followed. You heard the buttery smooth chuckle yet again as somehow a grin split on the shadow where its face would be. Suddenly, the shadow stood up from the floor on its own, and your eyes widened as it shifted into a form that wasn’t yours. A very tall form.

The mouth on the shadow moved as it began to speak. “Wasn’t it you who completed the ritual? Did you think nothing would happen? You’re a silly girl, aren’t you? This should be fun.”

You were speechless, only able to dumbly stare as the shadow manifested itself, revealing a very tall man with grey skin that faded to black at the extremities, his fingers tipped with black claws. His skin was decorated with glowing teal tattoos, and you especially noticed the ones on his belly that pointed down to his groin. Lord have mercy, there was even a diamond shape on his pubic bone. His pubic bone that was exposed by his undone pants.

You felt his clawed finger lift your head to meet his eyes, which were the same shade of glowing teal decorating his body, surrounded by inky black sclera. He smirked at you with his pierced lips. “Am I so attractive that I’ve left you speechless? I’m flattered, darling.”

You gulped. “I-is this real…?”

“Oh, I can assure you, bunny, I’m very real. I’m what you wanted, right? An incubus? A demon of the night? To be honest, your pronunciation of the incantation was a little… broken. But that’s okay baby, I know you humans don’t really speak Latin anymore. It wasn’t bad for your first time.”

Your face heated up in embarrassment. Demons are real and the first one you’ve ever met just told you that you suck ass at Latin. Good fucking start.

The demon giggled at your embarrassed face, caressing your cheek with his clawed thumb. “You’re just too cute. What’s your name, bunny?”

“(y/n)...” you mumble, staring into his hypnotic eyes.

The demon took one of your hands that hung limply at your sides, giving it a gentle kiss. “Beautiful name, sweetheart. You may call me Lucius. Mmh… did you put this on just for me?” he asks, snapping the strap of the harness on your chest. “Adorable. Good choice tonight, love. Leather makes me crazy.”

The way Lucius stared at you made flames lick at the inside of your belly. Slowly, he guided you up off the floor, his large hand engulfing yours. Good god he was tall. Your face barely reached his chest.

“Where’s your bed, love?” he asks. “Unless you’d like to do it here. I’m not picky.”

“Ah… i-it’s over there…” you pointed to the back of the room. “Let me put out the candles…”

With a swish of Lucius’s tail, all five of the candles arranged in the circle went out, leaving you in the dim moonlight.

“That works too,” you say.

Lucius chuckled, guiding you over to your bed. He sat you down on it and hovered over you, close to your face.

“So how do you want to do this, darling? I’ll do anything you ask of me. I’m bound by contract until sunrise to be here with you, sweetheart.”

“U-um…” Shit. You didn’t think this would actually work. “I… don’t know…”

Lucius’s eyes widened. “Hold on a moment…” he leaned into your neck, and you shuddered as you heard him take a deep inhale of your scent.

When he leaned back his slitted pupils were dilated much like a cat’s. “Well, isn’t this a rare surprise? A virgin, just for me. Aren’t I lucky?”

“You… can smell virginity?” you ask dumbly.

“Of course, darling. To demons like me, a virgin is like that of the ripest and sweetest of fruit. We don’t get to feed from something so delectable so often. Right now, you’re making me positively salivate, darling.”

His words sent heat shooting straight down into your groin, and you barely let out the smallest of whimpers. A small flash of a blue tongue peeked out from the demon’s lips, wetting them in anticipation. “I’ll savour this moment, bunny.”

You sighed as Lucius kissed you, his labret piercing creating a contrast of sensations between his hot lips and the cool metal. It didn’t take long for it to warm up, though. Especially when he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You moaned when you realized his tongue was not only forked but pierced as well. He chuckled, running his hands down your body. You arched into his touch, breath hitching at every caress and squeeze. 

“You’re so responsive to my touch, bunny… you must be aching for relief, you poor thing… don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

Lucius gently laid you down on your pillows, kissing and licking his way down your body. His mouth latched over your sensitive nipple through your sheer bra, wetting the fabric. His eyes glanced up, watching you bite your lip as the tips of his tongue flicked at the sensitive bud. He chuckled. “So cute… I hit the jackpot tonight.”

A clawed finger hooked the leather garter around your waist, snapping it into your creamy skin. “Such a beautiful outfit… I can’t wait to ruin it.”

You gasped as he travelled lower on your body, tracing a path with his tongue. When he got to your panties, he used his sharp claw to sever the straps keeping him from removing the offending fabric. He looked into your eyes with a mischievous glint, maintaining eye contact as he removed your panties with his teeth. Finally, you were bare to him, and he looked absolutely ravenous. 

Instinctually, you attempted to close your thighs, but he tutted in disappointment. “Ah, ah… don’t be doing that, darling… let me see.”

Lucius took your thighs in his large hands, spreading them as wide as he could and groaning in approval at what he saw. “Such a pretty pussy… and so wet already…”

You whined, hips twitching in need. Lucius chuckled darkly, sending electricity straight to your core. “I know, I know baby… you want me to make you feel good, yeah? I’ll give you what you want.”

Lucius leaned down, giving your clit a kiss. “Mmh… this is going to be a treat…”

You gave a broken moan as Lucius licked a stripe up your sopping folds, his tongue piercing giving added stimulation. You felt him smirk as he dove in, flicking, swirling and licking your clit with the tips of his tongue. He moaned at the heavenly taste, and his tattoos glowed brighter. “Delicious… mmf… I need more…”

Suddenly you gasped as you felt his tongue enter your hole, filling you more than a normal tongue ever could. Your hands flew to his glowing horns, and he groaned, grinding his hips into your mattress. The feeling of his demonic tongue fucking you like a tentacle and his piercing rubbing your walls was better than anything you’ve ever done to yourself. Lucius moaned, almost whining as he drank your nectar from the source. The knot in your belly tightens and tightens as his piercing drags over your sensitive spots, and the way his nose bumped your clit made you cry out.

“Fuck… f-fuck…!” you sobbed, pulling him by his horns into your core. The vibrations from Lucius’s moans finally sent you over the edge, and you wailed, grinding your pussy on his face.

Lucius wasted no time in lapping up the sweet honey that seeped from your folds, licking his lips in satisfaction. “So sweet… so delicious… mmf…”

“Wh… what was…” you gasped, panting heavily as you came down.

Lucius giggled, lolling his blue tongue out of his mouth. His very long blue tongue. It was so long it reached down to his chest.

“Imprethed?” he asked.

“H-how does that fit in your mouth!?” you gaped at him.

Lucius pulled it all back into his jaws and giggled. “That’s a secret, darling.” He suddenly began to fan himself. “Mmh… it’s getting so hot in here… it’s unbearable…” you watched as his clawed fingers unzipped his leather top, stripping himself bare. He smirked as you ogled the new tattoos you hadn’t seen before. In the middle of his chest was a heart with lines coming off of it like spikes, and across his chest and shoulders was a double helix decorated with three dots in each loop. On his forearms were diamonds decorated with swirls and more dots. He took your hand, guiding your fingers to trace over the lines and feel the taut muscles beneath his grey skin. It was then you noticed that his nipples were pierced as well.

“Aren’t they pretty?” he asks as he guides your fingers along the heart on his chest. “All of my pets have loved my adornments…”

“Yeah…” you gasp as he dragged your hand further down his body, over his abs and to the bulge straining his unzipped jeans. “Do you feel that? What you do to me?” he whispers. “I’m positively aching, darling…”

You swallowed in anticipation, and he grinned, showing his sharp fangs. “Allow me to free myself from these leg prisons, darling. One moment.”

Lucius stepped off the bed to kick off his pants, and your eyes widened when his cock sprung free from its confines. It was… oddly pretty. Could a cock be described as pretty? If so, his was gorgeous. Much like the rest of him, it had piercings along the underside, too. The only thing that struck you as strange was the fact that it faded to teal at the tip, much like his horns. 

“Wh… why is it blue?” you ask.

“Why is yours pink?” Lucius asks back.

The two of you stared at each other in silence for a moment before he burst into giggles. “Ah… you’re so cute, darling. I can’t stand it. I want to eat you right up… oh wait, I already did.”

“S-stop teasing me…” you whine in embarrassment.

“Aww, I’m sorry, bunny, I can’t help it… here, let me make it up to you…”

Lucius leaned back over you, kissing your lips and stroking down your body with his slender fingers. When you felt his fingers tease your dripping hole, you broke the kiss.

“W-wait… you aren’t gonna finger me with those nails, are you?”

Lucius grinned. “Of course not, sweetheart. I don’t like hurting my pets if they don’t want it…” he showed you his large thin hand decorated with silver rings, and you watched in awe as the sharp claws shrunk, becoming round and blunt. 

“Whoa…”

“Being a magical creature has its perks,” he says, kissing you and lying you back down. You shivered as his ringed fingers traced your folds, teasing your hole as they went up and down, up and down… then finally, after you whined into his mouth, he dipped a slender finger into your fluttering pussy, gently stroking your slick walls.

“Mmmh.. does that feel good, darling? Does it feel good when I rub your clit with my palm while I fuck you with my finger? Oh, you’re so wet already from just one… so cute… want me to add another? Tell me what you want, darling…”

When you whined and bucked into his hand, he chuckled. “Ah, ah, ah, bunny, use your words… I won’t know what you want unless you tell me…”

“P-please…” you gasp.

“Please what, my pet? Tell me what you want…”

“A-another finger… please… I want more…”

“Good girl… so good…” Lucius obliged, adding a second finger and picking up the pace. “Only good girls who use their words get what they want…”

You whined in embarrassment. “Lucius… mmf… stop teasing…”

“Oh, I know, I know, pet… but I can’t help it. I love it when my toys squirm for me… it tastes so sweet…”

You gripped the sheets as he fingered your pussy to the knuckle, his cold metal contrasting with your hot folds, mewling at the downright filthy squelches you didn’t know you could make. “L-Lucius… fuck me… please fuck me…”

“Ah, not yet darling… not yet. Not until you cum on my fingers…” he chuckled as you whined and bucked against his hand. “Oh, I know… I’m so mean to you… not giving my master what she wants… but I’m on the bigger side, pet… If I don’t loosen you up a little, it’ll hurt… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt my master during her first time… come on, baby, lose yourself. Cum all over my fingers… lose yourself to pleasure…”

For the second time that night, the knot in your belly tightened, fire licking at your groin and making you sob. Lucius stroked your g spot with a come hither motion, making you cry out.

“Go on, pet… let it out… let it all out for me…”

“Fuck! Nngh… Lucius!!!” you cried as you came for the second time that night.

Lucius’s tattoos glowed brightly as he absorbed your energy, cock twitching against your bare thigh from how delicious it was. “Fffuck, I’m so glad I answered your call first… nngh… I can’t hold back anymore, darling, I need more… I’m going to ravage you…”

Lucius slipped his fingers from your puffy pussy, sucking on them with a groan as he dragged his cock through your soaked folds. He grasped your chin, making you look him in the eyes as he pushed in. he bit his lip, whining at the heavenly feeling of your gummy walls fluttering on his cock. “Fuck… oh fuck, darling… you feel so good…”

You sobbed at the feeling of his cock invading your hole, feeling every dip, curve and piercing that dragged along and stimulated your sensitive areas. His bright eyes rolled into the back of his head from the sheer concentrated sexual energy radiating off of you and into him. You scrambled to grab his tattooed shoulders when he began thrusting into you like a rabbit.

“Nghhf… that’s right, darling… fucking lose it… wrap your legs around me and give into pleasure… Ohhh fuck… it feels so good… so so delicious… squeeze tighter, darling, fuck…”

Your nails drew lines in his back as he ravaged you, and tears flooded your eyes from how fucking good it felt. Every time he sheathed his pierced cock inside you and bumped your cervix was like an injection of pure pleasure.

“I feel you fluttering around me, love… nngh… you’re going to cum soon… do it… fucking cream around my cock, bunny… feed me that fucking sweet energy…”

You dug your nails deeper into his back, wrapping your legs around his waist tighter and screaming as white stars clouded your vision from the sheer strength of your orgasm. The way your walls clamped around him was enough for him to stutter his thrusts, shoving in one last time to the base and filling you to the brim with his demonic seed. He whined like a bitch in heat as he rode out both of your highs, his teal tattoo’s nearly glowing white from the sheer intensity of lust emanating off of you.

Finally, the two of you were coming down, panting and moaning into each other’s mouths as your tongues tangled together.

Lucius broke the kiss, a string of mixed saliva between the two of you.

“That… fuck… that was…” you gasped.

“That was a delicious treat, thank you, darling…” he says, kissing the back of your hand. “You did so well for your first time…”

Suddenly you were overcome with drowsiness, and you yawned as he stared at you adoringly.

“How cute… I know you’re tired, my pet, but you can’t go to sleep just yet… we need to get you cleaned up… and you need to pee."

“I-I can barely move my legs…” you whisper bashfully.

Lucius giggled, giving you a peck on the lips. “I’ll take care of you, master. After all, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt one of my pets."

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

OFMD EP2 REACTION

at least stede and co. have clean clothes and bedrolls now...

and of course buttons is sleeping upside down like the Creature he is

stede's lying there thinking about the "you wear fine things well" scene i'm-

ed's stede-barbie is covered in flecks of black paint skfjhdkjfsfjh has he been holding it against his face???

and there's little ed-barbie i am obsessed. maybe he's been making them kiss

HE MADE THEM BOTH JUMP OUT THE WINDOW NOOOOOOO

oh god what if he thinks that stede is dead for real.

BUTTONS X THE SEA 5EVA

zheng's crew calling "good morning!" back to her like a class of children awww... at least that's a step up from stede trying to do flag arts n crafts with his gang of preschoolers

"the sea is restorative, isn't it?" "YES QUEEN!" i love buttons

buttons is getting INTO the tai chi

the swede found his place with jackie... is buttons going to stay with zheng? aw man are we going to lose all the crew? :(

"we're tender as hell"

"there is one other man on board" LUCIUS LUCIUS LUCIUS

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH

PETE TACKLES HIM TO THE FLOOR AND EVERYONE COMES OVER

"men are so fucking emotional"

"i thought you died!" "i think a lot of people did" BRUH

awwww pete and lucius!!!!!!

and the whole gang is watching lmao

"rat boy, what's that about?" "i think it's like a lunar calendar thing..." yeah right it's cause you got scooped up like a drowned rat

"what exactly happened to you, lucius?" ohhhh stede you are not gonna like the answer to that question. and by that i mean you are going to be surprisingly okay with it because you're insane

"...i fell" LUCIUS DON'T COVER FOR HIS ASS

"i'm overqualified for towels!" stede baby i think towels are all you can handle

"sea witch... i have looked for you far and wide..." oh my god? well he can talk to birds...

buttons x zheng's first mate x the sea 5eva?

oh no. seeing the revenge fills me with dread

ed's smiling. this is not a good sign

"no more booze, no more drugs, and more importantly, no more izzy" sdfskdgjhsgkjsh

"you did kill him?" he knows. he knows frenchie fucking wouldn't.

we all thought jim and frenchie would be hiding lucius in the walls. turns out they're hiding izzy. what a turn of events

"KILL ME YOU FUCKING COWARDS" aww it's the most normal izzy's sounded in a while <3

archie gives me big gideon nav energy and i love that

OH GOD JIM AND ARCHIE HAVE TO CUT IZZY'S LEG OFF

"are you even gonna ask how i am?" yeah stede, tighten up mate

"FUCK YOU that's how i am" aaaaaand here we go

"you broke him when you left and then he broke me. everything that's happened since has been YOUR FAULT." watch how fast stede can internalise that

"i see you've adopted the form of a humble man, sea witch"

therianthropy??? BUTTONS SELKIE REAL???????

ed jumpscaring frenchie "heyyyy :)" you know what i'm on board with stede the atrocities ARE okay if a man with big beautiful brown eyes does them actually

"how'd you kill izzy?" HE KNOWS

"you're left-handed. you just used your right." ed and his fucking mind palace as he slowly backs frenchie into a corner with that humorless smile FRENCHIE JUMP OVERBOARD

"do you think i wouldn't know the smell of my rotting former first mate?" WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS THERE ED

the operation was a success...?

why's jim got gauze shoved up their nose. did izzy kick them in the face

"he'll live?" izzy in the background looking like a corpse

jim's still holding the leg

"he seems like a bit of a dick" "he is, but he's our dick" EXACTLY JIM

jim and archie kissing over izzy's severed leg... how touching? at least put it on the floor jim

"our eyes lock as we're holding hands and we can't help but kiss over [izzy's] not once, twice, thrice [fucked-up leg]"

OH FUCK ED'S HERE

"leave me, all of you. ...take the fuckin' leg."

"he was your friend." loyalty is everything to jim

ed staring completely still and emotionless at izzy's presumed dead body... fuck

uh oh. olu seems to have relinquished the brain cell.

...none of the revenge gang knows what china is. why am i even surprised

"you can't file to save your life, and i'm pretty sure you broke the abacus" "yeah i fucked that up" sdjfghsdkjgh olu what did you do to the abacus...

"but you're calm, and you're smart, and... i actually really liked it when you visited the soup stand" SLFGHSKJGHADKJGAH DOES ZHANG HAVE A THING FOR OLU

(listen i'm not freaking out about olu/jim 'cause they don't even know if the other one is still alive or not. they're allowed to kiss other people)

and that was such a cute moment

zheng: this is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's partner, and this is my boyfriend's partner's girlfriend

roach x soup 5eva

lucius and pete are sitting Far Apart now and THAT worries me

"we eat, but how often do we taste?" i'm glad roach gets to have a ratatouille moment

lucius smoking a cigarette and fucking hating stede with all his might... this boy is so fucking traumatised...

"i used to chew the old tobacco leaf when i was young and edgy!" stede for the love of god shut up and also you were never edgy in your fucking life

"my spicy little rat boy" "NEVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT" oh yeah lucius has fucking PTSD

"what happened in towels?"

ed waking izzy up i am not ready for this conversation

please subtitles please cover up the pretend amputated leg i am begging you

"up in Leg Heaven"

"i just popped down to say a proper goodbye" (pulls out pistol) I AM PUTTING ED IN A STRAITJACKET

oh no he's making izzy hold the pistol and point it at him

he wants izzy to kill him sooooo bad he wants izzy to do it

and izzy's laughing humorlessly because he can't fucking kill ed, no matter what ed does to him

"you scared, eddie? too scared to do it yourself?" they are both lunatics please for the love of god get divorced and nobody die!!!

"clean up your own fuckin' mess, i'm not doing it, i've been doing it all my fuckin' life" delivered like a housewife cheerfully telling her husband to pick up his own socks

A GUNSHOT

BUT ED HASN'T BEEN HIT

I KNOW IZZY CAN'T HAVE KILLED HIMSELF. BUT THAT'S CLEARLY WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO DO

ed, without turning around to look at izzy: "i loved you. best i could"

i'm chewing on the walls there is something soooo wrong with both of them

poor frenchie! "do you wanna do this here, or at the bottom or the ship, 'cause i can just jump over and make it easier" BABY NOOOO

you call that CLOSURE ed??? BRO.

"do me good to be at the wheel for a bit" ed is going to blow this whole fucking ship up and take everyone with him

taika delivers each line SO casually and never before has such a laissez-faire attitude filled me with such horror

"don't keep it bottled in! i get that you're angry, so be angry at me, don't take it out on pete" "oh, stede bonnet's giving me relationship advice?"

"don't be like me" stede... i really can't help but love him...

"one has to do horrible things to survive... there was this rat terrier named pepper... THEY ATE HIM! AND THEN I HAD TO CATCH THE RATS! WITH MY TEETH! THEY WERE WEIRDLY FINICKY ABOUT THAT." dear god "THEY HAD THIS GAME CALLED THE HUMAN PUPPET, THE HAND WENT WHERE YOU'D THINK" thank god zheng rescued lucius from the pet-eating and fisting boat what the fuck

"some maniac got rid of the wheel!" ed you'd have better luck just ASKING someone to kill you instead of doing whatever crazy shit this is

"i want you to fight her to the death!" "that's a bit misogynistic, man" priorities, archie "yeah, probably" add misogyny to ed's wanted poster "ALL LOVE DIES I'M JUST HASTENING THE PROCESS" ED FUCKING JESUS

so love = death to ed. smarter people than me could write so much meta on that. but that's why he wanted izzy to kill him

jim: "leave it man, we're not gonna fight to the death!" archie: (punches jim in the face) ARCHIE!!!!!

HUGE gideon nav energy

love a woman who is also a himbo

stede is still doodling on the wanted posters

"i talked to pete... he got nauseous and kind of started crying" seriously was it calico jack's old boat lucius ended up on???

lucius: look at all of ed's red flags

stede: red's my favourite colour so what it doooo baby

"maybe the time he spent with you is the best it's ever gonna get for him" and stede starts shaking his head OOOOOFFFF

jim refuses to kill archie, who has a remarkable lack of self-preservation (HUGE gideon nav energy seriously if there is ever a locked tomb movie/show... madeleine sami for gideon)

"you were gonna do it anyway!" [drive into the storm and kill all of us] "i was!" STRAITJACKET

someone shot ed to stop him from destroying the mast

IT WAS IZZY

IZZY'S STANDING

HE TOURNIQUE'D HIS LEG AND HAULED HIMSELF ONTO THE DECK AND SHOT ED

OH MY GOD THEY SHOWED HIM PUTTING THE GUN TO HIS OWN HEAD????

HE JUST GRAZED HIMSELF. HIS SKULL WAS TOO THICK. NO BULLET CAN KILL HIM

FANG TACKLES ED, JIM PICKS UP A CANNONBALL TO SMASH ED'S HEAD IN, AND ED JUST SMILES IN RELIEF AND SAYS "FINALLY"

no music just rain over the credits

aww olu being cute with zheng <3

[gffa]

Well, well, well. Guess who fell into the new gay pirates fandom? And guess who finished OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH and was immediately like, “I gotta find some fic to read to fill the void.” Despite that I swore up and down I wasn’t going to get drawn into another new fandom, five minutes after the final episode, I was opening up AO3 and clicking away like my life depended on it. I thought it’d just be a fun, silly show to watch in between more serious ones! Just some cute pirate antics with some nice queer rep! Sure, maybe some heavier stuff might happen, but it was ultimately a silly pirates show and I wasn’t going to have real feelin– OH NO NOW I’M HIP DEEP IN FEELINGS AND I AM MAKING IT EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEM WITH ME. Because if fic is going to make me cry and/or laugh through my tears, I’m not suffering that alone. So, here, read a bunch of fic with me. OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH FIC RECS: ✦ He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven by AuntieClimactic, ed/stede, NSFW, 14.4k    “Here we go again,” he heard Lucius scream over Izzy’s furious cursing. ✦ and he doesn’t mind the (ooh) by thatbug, ed/stede & cast, NSFW, 5.4k    As a curious man, Captain Stede Bonnet determines that he should learn more about the great piratical pastime of buggery. Edward Teach is surprisingly unwilling to discuss. In which it’s much harder than Stede would expect to convince Blackbeard to fuck him up the ass. ✦ do no harm, take no shit by holsmi, ed/stede & mary & cast, 2.1k    Mary Bonnet receives some uninvited guests. ✦ The Biblical Sense by Fyre, ed/stede, NSFW, 2.5k    Ed’s eyes creased around the edges. Smiling. One could always tell by them, even if his beard and moustache and everything else hid his mouth. “I know you’re a bit new to the whole… seaman thing,” he said with that rumble of amusement in his voice, “but I thought even you’d recognise a come on when you saw one.” ✦ echo your name (call it love) by treescape, ed/stede, 1.6k    Or, Stede realizes he’s maybe, possibly started calling Ed rather revealing things. ✦ Beyond Vanity by reserve, ed/stede, 2.3k    After Izzy leaves, and Stede gets patched up, Ed uses the bathtub for something other than a nervous breakdown. ✦ Hold me deep beneath your waves by makesometime, ed/stede, NSFW, 1.2k    “Would you believe…” Stede breathes, voice shaky in that way that Ed’s come to learn means he’s excited, but like, in a nervous way. “That I’ve never done… this… before?” ✦ this is not your grave, get out by morian, ed & lucius (& ed/stede & black pete/lucius), 10k    Or: Lucius survives. For better or for worse. ✦ Break down, it’s alright by rowenablade, ed/stede, NSFW, 3.2k    “Stede.” Ed’s voice breaks, dragging Stede’s eyes back up from where they’ve been staring at the floor in shame. “Please.” ✦ you reached out your hand to me by holsmi, ed/stede, 4.1k    Stede Bonnet sneaks onboard the Revenge, and sets some things right. ✦ the relationship counselor by Nanashi07, ed/stede & olu/jim & lucius, 4k    Lucius Spriggs: the unofficial – and involuntary – relationship counselor of The Revenge. ✦ peccadilloes by Badgerette, ed/stede, 2.1k    On the benefits of literary references. Now with a variation on a theme. ✦ ease one life the aching by treescape, ed/stede, 1.1k    Or, Ed’s not used to being taken care of. Stede wants to change that. ✦ separating salt from water by morian, ed/stede & cast, 6k    Or: The Revenge has been becalmed for six days. Ed has bigger things to worry about, like sharks and being in love. ✦ denial by huojuvuus, ed/stede & mary, 2.1k    (or, mary builds an unlikely friendship and maybe saves her ex-husband’s relationship in the process.) ✦ when you love it by mia_ugly, ed/stede, NSFW, 5.7k    Stede’s being kissed before the door fully clicks shut behind him. ✦ on the bed of this blue ocean by kirkaut, ed/stede, 9.6k    [Or: Ed hears about Stede’s ‘death’ and promptly falls apart.] ✦ Trick by Desdemon, ed/stede, NSFW, 4.2k    Stede teaches Ed how to play piquet. ✦ Two Captains and a Baby by triedunture, ed/stede, 9.2k    The crew of The Revenge finds a lost infant during one of their bouts of fuckery. Stede and Ed play caretaker for one night. ✦ every morning the world by treescape, ed/stede, NSFW, 1.1k    Or, breakfast in bed doesn’t go exactly as planned, but that’s okay. ✦ we were warnings by mia_ugly, ed/stede, NSFW, 13.1k    Stede comes back. Ed does too. It just takes a little longer. ✦ Never Been Sketched by Luddleston, ed/stede & lucius, 3.6k    Or: Ed poses for a portrait in the nude, and Lucius has to watch Stede go through a life-altering internal crisis, witness a frankly upsetting level of sexual tension, and deal with the most fidgety portrait subject ever. At least he gets to ogle Blackbeard while he’s at it. For the sake of art. Obviously. ✦ heartless by Nanashi07, ed/stede & izzy & frenchie & jim, 4.8k    Stede seems determined to win Edward back. It must be why he keeps “accidentally” showing up in Edward’s life.

[five-miles-over]

Father of Dragons (Emperor Commodus AU)

Summary: Eight-year-old Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus is enchanted by the tales of the first dragons that lived in Rome. One night, while visiting his deceased brother’s tomb, the sole heir of Emperor Marcus Aurelius witnesses those very tales being brought to life. 

Word Count: 1,326

Warnings: Mentions of sibling death, some historical inaccuracy (as far as I know, there probably were not real dragons in Rome. I just wanted a chance to see my favorite emperor interact with them)

For young Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus, mythology was more than a collection of simple bedtime stories. They were aspirational tales of divine valor for the rising emperor in him, and a fantastical escape for the playful child within him. Tired of hearing tutors drone for hours about insipid philosophy and mind-numbing mathematical theorems, the legends of brave kings, beautiful nymphs, and horrifying-yet-powerful creatures was an oasis of wonder for the eight-year-old. Whether many of those stories were actually true or not was an entirely different matter; he loved them and believed in them with unwavering faith.

"Pompeii…after the eruption of Vesuvius?"

"Yes, Highness," Servilla, governess of the young emperor of Rome, narrated to him one night. "It was said that the first dragon eggs were found at the foot of the volcano after the eruption of Mount Vesuvius had taken place."

Little Commodus sat up excitedly in bed, eager to hear more.

"There were three of them, buried beneath layers of ash and ignored for several years until the eruption. It is said that dragon eggs could be hatched in the presence of roaring flames, and can only occur with the sacrifice of human blood. The legends say the many lives lost in Pompeii was the necessary offering for the gods to bring the dragons to Earth."

"Who is the patron god of dragons, Servilla? Is it Lord Vulcan?"

"I am afraid that I do not know, Highness." She raised her veil above her head, and tucked back a curl of hair. "After the dragons had hatched, they were sold as commodities in the public markets of Pompeii. Bought by frivolous aristocrats, they were a source of entertainment while they were little creatures who spit sparks of fire. The poor believed them to be favored by the gods, perhaps even a reincarnation of the Greek hero Agamemnon. He was said to wear a blue dragon motif on his sword belt when he fought in battle, and a three-headed dragon on his breast plate."

"Was one of the dragons blue, Servilla?"

"One of them was blue-scaled, another was red-scaled, while another had black scales. When they grew up, all of Rome wanted them dead. They were too big to keep as pets, and were very quick to anger. They breathed fire among those who displeased them, and always wanted large portions of food. Sometimes," she whispered in a menacing tone and reached for the little emperor. "They would snatch young boys playing and eat them up!"

"They would never catch me!" Commodus laughed as he was being tickled. "I would not make them angry."

"After several complaints from the people of Pompeii, Caesar Caligula decided to adopt the dragons himself. He wanted to train them to be his personal weapons. In his mind, the dragons would be strong enough to destroy anyone who dared to stand up against his rule.

They were mighty and could never be killed. They were the strongest creatures in the entire empire! However, the dragons fled the mad emperor. It is unknown where the two of the dragons escaped to, but the bones of one of the dragons were found in the city of Lanuvium, near the sea. His rotting red scales became one with the sand, and his teeth disappeared to the bottom of the ocean."

"How long do dragons live?"

"They are said to be able to live for centuries, Highness. That is, if they do not die in combat."

Despite Commodus adorably protesting for more details about the legendary dragons of Pompeii, asking if they ever had any progeny, and if they ever served another emperor, Servilla gently told Commodus that it was late and a good rest was necessary. She bade him good night and blew out the candles in his chamber.

————————————————————————————————————————

"And Servilla said that Emperor Caligula tried to tame them, and they soon escaped after his assassination. Tales of their ferocity were sung in the streets - one of them escaped to Lanuvium!"

Commodus waved his hands about as he retold his governess's stories to the coffin, barely a week he'd heard them himself. It was almost customary for the young emperor to visit the crypts every so often and "talk" to his deceased loved ones as if they were really there. Commodus knelt before the tomb of his brother Annius, not caring for the dust soiling his legs. It had been barely ten days after his eighth nameday, and yet it seemed as if Fate had decided to play a trick upon him…by taking away the last remaining brother he had.

"I swear, 'tis almost as if pre-ordained by the gods! I must ask Father when we go there again - there could even be baby dragons waddling along the beaches. It would be a delight to see."

The young emperor was interrupted by the sound of his name being called, most likely by Lucilla. He murmured a silent prayer to his brother's tomb before picking up a flaming torch to find his way up the stairs. Commodus tip-toed along one hallway, only to be encountered by an intimidating marble statue of the late Emperor Antoninus Pius - Commodus's own maternal grandfather. Dismissing this pathway as a dead end, he turned around and attempted to find another way out.

Suddenly, Commodus tripped over something - he couldn't quite see it well, but it was certainly heavy - and the torch fell from his pale hands. Yet to his surprise, the fire did not seem to hurt him at all, his skin remaining unblemished in the split second when the flames brushed against his arm. No burning sensation of any kind…the fire almost felt like the water from his bath. Comforting, in a strange way.

Perplexed, he grabbed another torch from the wall of the crypt, bringing it closer to the floor. What was it that caused him to trip? It was a chest, with enigmatic engravings all over it.

"Gods…"

With one hand holding the torch and the other fiddling with the lock, Commodus boldly opened the chest. Inside were three eggs - all scaly, yet of different hues - nestled in a bed of straw. One of them was crimson red, with black tips on its scales. The middle one bore a shade of emerald and twitched at the sight of Commodus, while the right-most egg was obsidian-hued with gold tips on its scales. They all seemed to have a few cracks, as if they had already begun to hatch.

Dragon eggs could be hatched in the presence of roaring flames, Servilla told him earlier.

Without much thought, the young emperor set the eggs on fire, dousing all three of them in flames. His green eyes widened with excitement as the eggs fidgeted and the shells continued to crack. After what felt like several enchanting hours, the flames finally subsided and in the place of the eggs, there were three baby dragons surrounded by broken shells.

Commodus knelt before them, extending his left hand as the crimson-colored dragon pecked at his palm. It was almost like playing with the birds in the palace courtyard. He even let himself chuckle as they croaked and breathed little puffs of warm smoke.

"You're so beautiful," he immediately gushed out of admiration for the little beasts. "As the one who brought you to life, I promise to care for you like my own kin." 

Commodus turned to the crimson one, naming it 'Marcus' after his father. With a grin, he decided to call the green dragon 'Commodiana' because it bore the same color as Commodus's own eyes. And as for the obsidian one with flakes of gold, Commodus named it 'Annius' as homage to his late brother.

"Commodus!" His elder sister Lucilla rushed down the stairs and let a shrill cry escape from her lips as soon as she saw where he was. The princess was horrified at the little beasts, immediately asking her brother what he was doing.

"They are dragons, Lucilla, and so am I."

[sslytheringhufflepufff]

Baby Boy (Draco x Reader)

Hi! this was requested but I didn’t know tumblr didn’t keep messages so I don’t remember the user name of the person who requested, sorry!! BTW sorry if it sucks, its my first time writing something with pregnancy xD Warning:Lucius, Cussing, fluff, pregnancy 1.7k words

Summary: Reader pregnant with Draco’s baby, time jump to when you discovered, time jump during, and time jump to an event causing you to go into labor.

You were walking around diagon alley looking around for your Husband holding your belly, you were around 8 months pregnant and were shopping around for the nursery "Malfoy, where the hell are you" you said going into shops searching for the white-haired boy. You've looked through every store there and decided to take a drastic measure and check the Dark Magic stores, going into Knockturn Alley "Uh Miss Malfoy I don't think it's a good idea going there, they know who you are" a shop owner said "It's okay I'm just looking for Draco, maybe he's there" you said giving them a small smile and going into the Dark Alley. A chill ran down your spine as you entered the dark place looking around "Draco if you're here I'll kill you" you said under your breath walking around carefully peering your eyes into store trying not to be seen "My my, look what we have here"  You stopped at the middle of your tracks looking back at who was talking "fuck" you said Lucius Malfoy stood behind you with a smirk on his face "What do you want Lucius" you said getting nervous "Oh nothing darling I just wanted to see if my grandson our granddaughter was all right" he said  "You know you're not allowed to talk to any of us after that day" you said backing away he just laughed getting closer to you "I know, and it's all your fault” he said as he grabbed you neck pushing against the wall, a sharp breath leaving your mouth, you felt your heart beating so hard you thought it would pop out of your chest “Lucius don’t do this please” you said tears starting to well up “please” you said in a whisper as your eye began getting hazy “Stop” you heard as you began losing your breath and consciousness “Draco” you said as everything went black. 

“Draco” you said smiling calling him “Come here please” you said signaling him as he stood up from his bed “I have a surprise!” you said excited as you hugged him “Uhh what is it” he said chuckling lightly hugging you back “So, do you remember that night that we went to Ron and Hermione's wedding?” “Mm yes” he said kissing your forehead “Okay what did we do after that?” you said Draco smirked “Something you might want to do now?” he said you playfully slapped his chest “No, at least not for nine months” you said while handing him a positive test “W-what?” he said letting a loud breath as he grabbed the test looking at it “Is this real?” he said looking at you “Yes” you said in a whisper like tone then he grabbed you a kissed you smiling to the kiss “We’re going to be parents” you said hugging him  

Suddently you woke up chest heavy trying to find your breath, you're on the floor “How dare you touch her” you heard someone scream you tried stand “Draco” you said in a whisper “You should've never married that mudblood” you heard Lucius say looking at you “Cruciatus” he said as you screamed In agonizing pain “STOP” you heard Draco “Avada Kedavra” you heard him his voice breaking say watching Lucius fall to the grown. Draco running towards you as you let tears fall from your face holding yourself “Y/n, you're okay, you're okay” you heard Draco say with a shaky voice “You're Bleeding” he said looking down on you and you followed his gaze looking at your thighs your jeans getting red you screamed as you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness the pain becoming unbearable “Apparition” you heard Draco scream as it all went black.

   You were sitting on the couch hands on your belly, you were already 6 months along and finally started showing Draco taking a seat beside you “When are we going to tell my parents?” he said looking nervously at you, you didn’t know if you wanted to tell them, Narcissa loved you but Lucius hated you for being a muggle-born and you know that “I don’t know Draco, your dad scares me” you said “I know babe, but they’ll find out eventually so better late than never”  he said laying a kiss in your forehead standing up “Ill sent them a letter and invite them over for dinner” he said heading out “Okay” you said in a whisper as you hugged yourself. Dinner came by and you got more nervous than before and you knew Draco was nervous himself. You stood by him holding his hands as you watched his parents arrive at your house, you felt nauseous as Draco squeezed tight your hand reassuring that everything would be alright. His mom came first she hugged you tightly “Hello darling” she said with a genuine smile then she went to hug her son “My Boy” she said “Good to see you Mum” he said hugging her back “Draco” you heard tensing up “Father” Draco said with a stern look on his face while Lucious just looked at you with a Disgusting face, Narcissa took your hand on that very moment “Come on Honey, let's go inside you have a lot to tell me, How's Draco treating you?” she said smiling as you giggled and went inside. After Dinner you all sat in the living room, Lucius hasn’t said a word to you but Narcissa has been treating you like her daughter, she didn’t like muggle-born but she saw how happy you were making his son, she had never seen him look so content with life, she just knew she had to make an exception and she made the right choice, now Lucius didn’t even take his sons feeling into consideration, he never did OfCourse, he hated you, he wanted you gone, he didn’t want you to ruin the pure blood in the family, his thought being interrupted by Draco “We have something to tell you guys” he said causing them to look up at you and Draco, you put your hands on your stomach and smiles “NO” said Lucius said standing up, “You will NOT ruin our blood” he said Draco pushing you behind him “Calm Down, Lucius” you heard Narcissa say “No, I will not let them ruin us Narcissa, don’t you see it, how could you accept this thing”  he said pointing at you, you could feel Draco tense up “You don’t get it Father? I was never happy, when I finally find someone who loves me and accepts me after everything that happened you still can’t be a little happy for me?” he said angrily, his father scoffed “I could find you someone Pure and well for the blood line Draco, someone who won't ruin our name” “Our name was ruined when you decided to follow the dark lord” he said Lucius looking at him “I will not let you ruin us” he said lifting his wand pointing it at you “Avada-” “No” you heard Draco Scream standing in front of you hugging you “DEPULSO” you heard Narcissa scream and everything went silent . You looked up and Lucius was nowhere to be found Narcissa standing there with her wand in her hand as she looked at the spot where the man stood “Mum...” Draco whispered “He was going to kill you, I had to” she said her hands shaking “It’s okay” Draco said letting go of you making his way to his mother “Mum, we’re okay” hugging her and you slowly walked towards them “Thank you” you said tears welling up “Thank you Narcissa” you said hugging her as she hugged you back “I can't lose Draco, and I don’t want to lose you either” she said giving you a smile. 

“Y/n, y/n, wake up” you heard as you slowly regain consciousness opening your eyes slowly “W-where am I?” you asked looking around slowly “Were at St. Mungo's, you were attacked by my father and started bleeding, the Doctors told me that you were alright and that the baby is also fine, but they want to keep you for observation since you're close to the end of the pregnancy, the damage you took may cause you to go into labor sooner”  he said running his hands through your as he smiled weakly at you  “Your Dad” you said “Y-you killed him, Draco” you said placing your hand on his cheek “He was going to kill you both, y/n” he said putting his hand on yours “I’d rather lose someone who's made me suffer other than loosing someone who's made me love life”  he said kissing your hand and taking it into his, suddenly a sharp pain ran through your body “Fuck” you screamed “What's wrong?” Draco said standing up “I NEED A DOCTOR NOW” he screamed as he watched you with a worry look on his face “You're okay Darling” he said as the doctor came in “Okay looks like she's going into labor” “Already? I thought she still had time” Draco said looking at him in disbelief “Well Malfoy, the consequence's that she suffered cause her to go into labor earlier but don’t worry she's in good hands” the Doctor said giving him a pat in the back as he stared at you, looking at you in pain was the worst, he hated it “I'll be okay Draco” you said feeling the contraction go  “We’re ready” giving him a light squeeze on his arm, a soft smile appeared on his face “We’re ready” he said. The labor was intense, you cursed out Draco for getting you pregnant as Draco just stood there holding your hand laughing as his sweet, loving, kind Wife told him to fuck off “Y/N, I need you to push please” the doctor said you screamed as you pushed hard breathing rapidly ��come on two more” he said and you pushed again squeezing Draco's hand “ouch” he said “ Shut up” you screamed at him as you pushed again hearing crying “He’s here” you heard the doctor say “H-he?” you said “Yes, a wonderful and healthy baby boy” he said as he placed him on your chest “Draco, it’s a boy” you said looking at him tears streaming down both of your faces “He’s wonderful” he said laying a kiss on your forehead and placing a hand on the small boys back as you hummed “My boys” you said turning your head and placing a small kiss on Draco's lips smiling. 

[lyraciilee]

prompt #1 { foster }

Atiya gently rocked the sobbing swathe of blankets with her remaining arm. It was clumsy. A cool sweat ran down her temple with the effort. The baby cried louder, soft white tufts of hair poking out from the beige colored blankets swaddling him. A thin face, too thin for an infant peered out and blinked its eyes open slowly, the crying giving way to quiet. Delicate white eye lashes, and two large icy blue eyes peered up inquisitively, met by another pair of icy blue eyes and a weary smile.

Atiya stood, carefully bouncing the babe in her remaining arm. Bandaging still tightly wrapped about the right arm, where only a nub that ended just above the shoulder remained.

“Mom, Lucius finally calmed down!” She called loudly, turning her head behind her for a quick glance. When the silence of the house was her only response, her brows furrowed. “Mom?” Atiya called again, turning her body completely to gaze down the hallway of the aging cabin.

Silence met her still and spurred her forward. Atiya stood, making her way carefully across the hall. The aging wooden house was dim, only soft candlelight lighting the Viera’s way as she stepped lightly. She paused as she rounded the door past her room, then past the nursery, and finally to her Mother’s room. An ache ran through her core, thinking of her father, and then she pushed it aside and pushed open the door.

“Fianna?” She called again, peering inside. The room itself was decorated humbly. A wooden carved vanity with a soft white weave running across the wall like a tapestry, flecks of aether glowing gold and blue occasionally shimmering over the strings. Her eyes turned over the empty space. Bloodied bandages in the trash, the dresser opened and emptied, and a single note left on the empty bed.

Atiya stepped forward hesitantly, her eyes running over the note. The world felt as if it was closing in around her. Her head spun. She barely could find the strength to hold her infant brother as she read the words written.

White hot tears seared her flesh as they rolled from the corners of her eyes. Her legs gave way and she sank to the floor, barely able to hold Lucius to her chest. The silence earned by her tending broke with a howl, the infant breaking in a earsplitting cry.

Atiya brought him close to her chest, and tightly as she could without hurting him and sobbed.

“Mother! Why!?” she screamed as if some futile effort to bargain with the house itself would bring her back. “He’s dead! He’s been dead for over a hundred years! Don’t do this!” Atiya near doubled over, bringing Lucius closer to her head, sobbing into the infant’s blankets.

“Don’t leave me again…” the words were barely audible, muffled beneath the screams of the newly abandoned babe. “Don’t leave… us…” Atiya added slowly, biting down on her lower lip. The phantom pain of her lost arm still burned even now as she recalled the moment she lost it in defense of her pregnant mother. To save this babe. To save Lucius. To save her mother. And now…

Rhiannon sat quietly at the table of the house, flipping through an old diary. Her fingers traced the moth-torn pages as she recalled the unpleasant memory.

“Rhi.” A soft voice called her and her head turned to look at him. The Viera was taller than any other male. The tell tale third eye of a Garlean sat on his forehead, only half hidden by his long hair. Snow white hair and lashes with icy blue eyes peering back at her own.

“Pwyll, are you okay?” Rhiannon question gently. It was so many years ago. She was nigh a different woman.

Her brother shook his head no, a frown turning his soft lips.

“She’s coming.” he murmured, his long fingers tightening around the wooden post of the doorway. Rhiannon tensed for a moment, but let out a long slow breath and closed the diary before standing.

“We will meet her. She is our Mother after all.” Rhiannon announced. Pwyll frowned and gazed away.

“Not mine…” His soft protest did not go unheard.

“She is your birth mother.” Rhiannon kindly reminded him, taking a step closer. “I am your sister, not your mother.” She rested her hand on his shoulder. Pwyll gazed to her missing arm, then to her eyes and frown.

“You are my real mother.” He whispered, rolling off her hand and skulking through the house. Rhiannon watched him go, her hand absent-mindedly grasping at her clothing near her chest and holding it tightly.

[fanficflaneuse]

Life in Black - The Pilot

Index 

Episode 1: The Pilot 

A/N: GIF is not mine, I found it on Giphy. I hope you like this experiment. It is a mixture of narration and scriptwriting. 

Words: 2341 

Summary: Bellatrix decides she wants to live with her younger sister and her brother-in-law. 

Opening Sequence 

Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy sat in front of each other. Just like every morning, they took breakfast in the porch, overlooking the gardens. Narcissa insisted it reminded her of her homeland and Lucius knew better than to challenge her. He indulged her instead. He read The Daily Prophet as she drank her tea.

Narcissa was in the middle of a story about the preparations for the Paris Wizarding Fashion Week, when they were shaken by a loud bang from the house. The couple ran inside, wands out and faces full of concern. The elves ran frantically to the living room. As they approached, Narcissa relaxed and Lucius tensed even more.

“Bella!” said Narcissa, approaching her eldest sister and giving her a hug. Lucius took a deep breath, bracing himself up for whatever was coming; Bellatrix and him were barely on speaking terms.

“About time you came to greet me, sister” she answered.

“We weren’t expecting you,” mentioned Lucius.

“Do you hear something, Cissy?” said Bellatrix, pretending her brother-in-law wasn’t in the room.

Narcissa rolled her eyes. “What are you doing here, Bella? I thought you and Rodolphus had moved back to Paris?”

“Don’t even mention him to me. We’re getting a divorce,” she said casually, not a hint of sorrow or melancholy in her voice.

Both Lucius and Narcissa eyed her warily. “I am so sorry, sister,” said Narcissa after a moment of awkward silence.

“Oh, don’t be. It was doomed from the beginning.”

“That’s what happens when you marry for convenience,” Narcissa said, shaking her head at the memory of Bellatrix’s rushed, loveless marriage.

“If the other option was to end with a slob like your husband, then no thank you.”

“Excuse you?” he said, outraged.

(NARCISSA MALFOY) TALKING HEAD.

(Narcissa sits on a very elegant armchair. The room is full of paintings and photographs staring at her. In the back of the room, above a marble chimney, there’s a very big portrait in which Lucius and Narcissa stand on either side of a teenager. He resembles Lucius and smiles awkwardly.)

“My sister...she’s truly something. I can’t really put it into words,” she says, politely smiling at the camera.  

(Lucius comes into focus. He’s sitting on another armchair).

“She’s crazy,” he adds, deadly serious. Narcissa frowned at him.

(Bellatrix comes into focus, half sitting on Narcissa’s chair arm).

“Excuse you?” she exclaims, mimicking his previous outburst.

[Back to scene]

Lucius and Bella bickered for a while. Even the elves stuffed their ears with cotton balls so they didn’t have to hear them. Narcissa grew bored a few minutes into their petty drama; it was always the same with them. This time, though, the fact that Bellatrix had decided to move in with them without even asking made their usual passive aggressiveness less passive and more aggressive.

After Lucius stormed off and Bellatrix chose to establish herself in the closest room to theirs, Narcissa decided to call the big guns (also known as her sister Andromeda). She knew her sisters didn’t have a good relationship, but she was also sure she couldn’t deal Bella full time on her own.

(BELLATRIX LESTRANGE) TALKING HEAD.

(Bellatrix sits cross-legged on a champagne coloured divan. It’s placed in front of a big window that oversees the Malfoy gardens. As she talks, a flock of albino peacocks runs in the background).

“My relationship with Andromeda? Oh, it’s nonexistence. Since she married that mudbl- oh right, everyone’s offended by everything nowadays. So, the pc term is muggleborn, right? Well, ever since she married that muggleborn and had a half blood spawn of the devil I decided I just have one sister. She also married an absolute tosser, but at least he brought a pure last name to the table.”

[Back to scene]

Andromeda appeared a few hours later, ready to see her sister for the first time since she got engaged. The two estranged sisters bared a very close resemblance. They were both tall women with curly hair, big, blue eyes, long eyelashes, thin lips and sharp jaw. Anyhow, as they sat by either side of Narcissa, she thought there couldn’t be in the world two more different people. Andromeda’s soft, brown curls in a fancy updo complemented her face and made her look younger. Her eyes were full of kindness and patience. Their older sister, on the other hand, had a thick, raven hair, which looked as though she had hardly combed it. It made her come across as a patient of St. Mungo’s fourth floor.

The sisters sipped tea stiffly and avoided eye contact. Narcissa decided that the feud needed to end, for her own mental wellbeing.

“Andy, Bella is now living with us here,” she said.

“What?” Andromeda now looked at her older sister, trying to the decipher the mask of indifference Bellatrix had always worn.

“Go ahead, laugh all you want,” said Bellatrix, a sardonic smile on her face.

Andromeda was left speechless for a few seconds. Narcissa could see her sister’s mind working and tried to amend Bella’s words.

“She meant -”

“Do you really think I’m so heartless, Bellatrix?”

“Well, you did change your beloved family for a dick,” she shot.

(NARCISSA MALFOY) TALKING HEAD

“I really can’t blame Andy.”

She has a knowing smile as she says this.

(Lucius comes into focus).

He smirks and nods.

[Back to scene]

“Well, Bella, at least I was transparent with my intentions. What were yours exactly? Have a pure and most noble last name and a bit on the side? We’ve all heard about that one, even Cissy, even if she pretends not to.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Andromeda.”

“Tom Riddle. Does it ring a bell? Toujours pur and all that crap only to end your marriage for a fling with none other than an ex - convict,” she spat.

“You’ll drown in your self righteousness, dear. How bored you must be with that husband of yours and all our stupid social norms.”

“You’re talking to me about social norms? You burned my face out of the family’s tapestry when I got engaged to Ted.”

“It was just a game and Cissy fixed it.”

“Just a game? For whom? An arsonist?”

“Your insufferable! Always thinking you’re the better sister, the prettier sister, the perfect sister.”

“I am the prettier sister,” said Narcissa flatly; she had already grown bored of Bella bickering with everyone.

“I never said that!”

“You thought about it! I know you did. You think I’m unbalanced. You think I should be in an insane asylum or something, but I’ll tell you what, I’m smarter than you are. Wait till I fix my hair and climb out of the pit of desperation I’m in and I’ll even be prettier than you are.”

“It’s not a competition, Bella,” reminded Narcissa, “although if it was none of you would stand a chance against me.”

As always, the older sisters ignored the youngest one and concentrated on outsmarting one another. A loud bang came from the other end of the room. Narcissa, cigarette in one hand and lighter in the other, turned her head to see her cousin, Sirius and his husband, Remus. She shot them an almost pleading look as they took seats by her side as Andy and Bella had long since discarded their place.

“Cissa, toss me the light,” he said, lying back on the couch.

“No, no, darling. This is bad for your health,” she answered as she put the cigarette between her lips.  

Sirius raised a brow. “You taught me how to smoke,” he remarked.

As she refused again and he was about to give her some new argument, Remus put his hand on his spouse’s thigh. “Remember your new year’s resolutions,” he said in a sing-song voice.

Sirius groaned.

“What brings you two here. It’s been a while,” said Narcissa.

“Andy told us you invited her and we wanted to make sure Bellatrix didn’t rip her head off,” shrugged Remus.

(ANDROMEDA TONKS) TALKING HEAD

(Andromeda sits on a grey, L shaped couch. Her living room is small and cozy. It looks exceptionally clean. She’s surrounded by plants. Behind her, there’s a big shelf full of frayed books).

“Rip my head off? What, because I’m the only one of the Blacks who wouldn’t be diagnosed as a loony then I’d let Bella walk all over me? No, sir. I showed them right then and there I could also roast someone.”

She looks pleased with herself, but her smile falters a few seconds later.

“Is roast a real term? Did I used it correctly?”

[Back to scene]

Lucius had also joined the others in the drawing room. He cheered on Andromeda every time she said something particularly witty to Bellatrix.

“You go, ‘Meda!” he said after she remarked how everyone breathed a little more peacefully after she moved out.

Andromeda looked at him straight in the eye. “I know you’re my brother in law, but we’re not there yet, honey.”

“I hate her,” he said pointing at Bellatrix, “isn’t that enough?”

The three sisters looked at him, eyebrows elegantly raised.

“Whatever you say now will determine your faith, Lucius,” taunted Sirius.

“I’m also married to her,” Lucius continued, this time pointing at Narcissa, “so you should consider yourself lucky she didn’t run off and have a baby with a convicted felon.”

Remus snorted obnoxiously.

(NARCISSA MALFOY) TALKING HEAD

“I couldn’t smoke while I was pregnant with Draco. Hardest nine months of my life,” she says with a grimace, “it was all worth it, though. I’m living the dream. I mean, who doesn’t want to be in charge of a fifteen years old boy who only babbles about one of his classmates?”

She doesn’t look very convinced.

[Back to scene]

Sirius had joined in the roasting now. Bellatrix had mentioned something about her not being invited to his wedding with Remus. He, in turn, spilling the family tea all over the living room’s floor.

“I never really cared that you were a twi-”

“Tais toi!” screeched Narcissa, not wanting her sister to literally taunt their cousin once again for his sexual orientation. Bella knew exactly who else in the family she was mocking and Narcissa was having absolutely none of that.

DISSOLVE TO: the whole family sitting like scolded kids. Narcissa furiously pacing in front of them.

“This ends here!” she announced, “I’m tired of the Blacks being the absolute worst family in the history of families.”

“What is she saying?” Remus whispered to Sirius while Narcissa kept rambling.

“Shhh,” Sirius mumbled back, “I can barely understand. Somehow her accent keeps getting thicker and thicker.”

“Sirius,” she said. Her cousin perked up at the mention of his name. “When was the last time you saw Nymphadora?”

“Uhh, yesterday?”

“What?!” she exclaimed, “so you see each other regularly?”

“We go to work together.”

“You work?” she asked, even more surprised than before.

“I own a bar,” he shrugged, not surprised that his cousin didn’t know of his whereabouts.

“Of course you do,” interjected Bellatrix, “and what does dearest Nymphadora do?”

“She’s an auror,” Andromeda answered, not allowing any biting remark to come from her sister’s malicious lips.

Narcissa looked at Andromeda curiously. She tried her best to be close with both her sisters and yet somehow she didn’t know know Nymphadora was an auror. In her mind, for some reason, her metamorphmagus niece was still in Hogwarts.  

“She sees Lucius at the Ministry all the time. Just last week she told me they chatted on the elevator,” said Sirius.  

Narcissa shot his husband an accusing look.

“I’ve seen her a couple of times, but I never thought she worked there. I just assumed she roamed the building for...reasons.”

Andy facepalmed as Bella cackled.

“Alright, well those days are over.”

“What days?” asked Remus, afraid to know the answer.

“The days of us not knowing what each other are up to. Auntie Walburga died three years ago,” she said. Andromeda patted Sirius’ back when he frowned at the mention of his satirical mother. “She was the last one of our parents’ generation. It is our chance to start anew, to accept each other. So, it’s decided. We’re having dinner tonight.”

The rest of the family joined in a collective whine, but accepted. Everyone knew better than to mess with Narcissa once she was set on something.

A few hours later, the elves placed all sorts of delicacies at the table. Draco was granted permission to apparate from the school back home, arriving as the rest of the family took their sits. He frowned as he sat by his aunt Bella’s side, who only talked about how he looked like his good for nothing father. He sent a pitiful look at his cousin Nymphadora, who smiled amusedly at him as she tried to start a conversation with Regulus. Sirius and Ted were already talking like old friends and Remus and Lucius shared a laugh at Professor Snape’s expense. Andromeda looked satisfied. Narcissa, at the head of the table, eyed her family proudly.

“Levitate the potatoes my way, please Nymphadora?” said Draco. He wasn’t particularly close with his cousin, but he knew she hated the name.

“Don’t. Call. Me. Nymphadora!” she said as she pushed the potatoes a bit too harshly towards him. Her changed from purple to a shade of red.

“I like you already,” said Bella.

“That’s a very bad sign,” muttered Remus.

(LUCIUS MALFOY) TALKING HEAD.

(Lucius sits on the same elegant armchair as before. He has his legs crossed and the attitude of a dandy).

“Life is full of changes. Some big, some small. I learned a long time ago you can fight it or try to make the best of it. And that's all a lot easier if you've got people who love you to help you face whatever life throws at you,” he says, an affectionate smile on his face.

He then frowns worriedly. “I just hope my house doesn’t become the designated place of gathering. My peacocks couldn’t take it.”

Roll Credits 

[stickyzombielight]

Behind me

Peering and characters: OGP/Harry Potter, Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore, Lucius Malfoy Size: 30 pages, 7 parts Genres: Everyday life Romance Fantasy Fantasy Warnings: Violence OZHP Murders Spoilers... Other tags: Wizards / Sorceresses Fictional creatures Love/Hate Description: Don't walk behind me — maybe I won't lead you. Don't go ahead of me — maybe I won't follow you. Walk side by side, and we'll be one.

© Indian Wisdom Author's notes: So, I don't know how to write fan fiction at all. But! On fikbuka ended works that are dedicated to Harry/OZHP,and I thought that I should write something like this myself,because I hate the canon.

1.1 The beginning of the path

August 31, 1991.

The rain is always the same, it doesn't change, but we look at it differently. Autumn rain brings sadness and reflection, winter rain brings slush and swell, spring rain brings joy and thunder, inspiring reverence, summer rain often brings coolness and pulls you out of a hot day into a completely different space.

The young sorceress loved rain at any time of the year. He creates for her an incredible atmosphere of lightness and alienation, which is so often needed by every person.

How relaxing it is to watch the drops rolling down the window, people who have fallen under the "natural" shower, or just sit on the windowsill, plunging into their fairy-tale world, in which there is no evil, but harmony and good reigns.

- Maddie, honey… Come down quickly, " a melodious female voice called from the first floor of the house.

Just as the girl was about to answer, a loud thunder suddenly thundered, causing her to squeak in surprise and jump to the side.

"I'm coming, Mom!"  Madeline shouted, and after another glance at the window, she hurried out of the room.

When she went downstairs, she saw a rather interesting picture: her mother was trying to insert candles with the inscription "Congratulations!" into the cake, and her father was licking the cream around the edges and smearing it on his wife's nose.

***

Fergus and Fridesvida Mortimer are the best parents in the world, and they are also talented wizards. They met while still students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, despite the fact that they studied at different faculties. Father-Slytherin, and mother-Ravenclaw. According to my mother, my father always bullied her, but not because he didn't like her, but on the contrary, in this way he wanted to attract attention. Dad's parents-Richard Mortimer and Adeline-Fryderika Mortimer-never liked their daughter-in-law, and when they had a daughter, and the father decided to leave the family estate, they stopped having any relations with him.

***

Pausing at the doorway, Maddie giggled softly, drawing her parents ' attention.

"My dear! You took so long to get down. We've already thought of sending Crocus after you!  Mom chirped, clapping her hands.

Fridesvida Mortimer is the most beautiful woman in the world. Despite her age, she looks like a young girl who has just begun to blossom. Her light brown, soft and silky hair was the envy of any woman, and her eyes were ... blue… With small flecks of emerald, they drive anyone nearby crazy.

Fergus Mortimer — a man with a stately figure, regular features and aristocratic appearance. His jet-black hair was always beautifully coiffed, his small moustache added charm to his face, and his green eyes, which stood out vividly against the background of his figure, aroused admiration and a certain envy. He was always the best-looking boy at school, and after that he remains a favorite for gossip among the ladies.

Madeline Mortimer is a mix of her parents. Genetics decided to play with her, and therefore the different eye color-blue and green is the highlight of the younger member of the family. Her shoulder-length black curly hair, upturned nose, and plump cheeks made her truly beautiful, incredible, and sweet.

- Today is a beautiful weather, I was looking at it ... - I answered and went closer to the table. On it were all sorts of goodies: cupcakes, rolls, fruit and my favorite sweets, and most importantly-a chocolate cake, with various swirls and zigzags, leaves and twigs.

— I still don't see how you can enjoy this nasty weather." Who would have thought that you like rain and dampness!  My mother shouted, and put her hand on her forehead with an exaggerated sigh.

"Well, ma-am..." the curly — haired one drawled. — We've already discussed this. Before I could continue, there was another thunderclap, and I dropped the candy from my mouth in surprise.

Rain was rain, and loud noises always frightened little Mortimer. Sometimes, even after the pencil falls, it takes her a minute to recover, what can I say about the thunder.

"Oh-oh-oh... little Maddie is afraid of thunder," Dad drawled, and laughed out loud.

— I'm not afraid of anything!" It was just unexpected!  Madeline shouted, wrinkling her nose and puffing out her cheeks as she sat down at the table.

"Of course, of course, you little coward —" my father squeaked in my voice, and threw a marshmallow in my daughter's direction.

- Dad! Mom! Tell him! - unable to stand it, the youngest of the family threw this very marshmallow at him and, raising her chin, grinned, - It serves you right!

"All right, stop messing around," Mom threatened with a finger and glared at Dad. Fergus raised two hands and continued to laugh.

Madeline is really happy. Their family has always been friendly. Of course, there are quarrels, but the conflict quickly passes after the pope pretends to grab his heart and pretend to be ill. She'd always wondered why he worked for the Ministry of Magic instead of some theater, a profession that suited him better.

"Baby..." my mother purred, and slowly walked over to my father, putting her hand on his shoulder. - Tomorrow you will enter a new stage of your life… And my father and I would like to have a little celebration, because you are already so big.  Mom wiped away an imaginary tear and smiled. - Hogwarts is a great place where great people have studied and are studying, and I hope you will become one of them… We raised you right.

***

Maddie turned eleven in May. She was very much looking forward to this day, because, like all other children, the letter from Hogwarts must be delivered on time. For a very long time, the girl sat near the front door and looked through the mail hole. And so, at exactly 12: 00, the coveted envelope flew into the Mortimer house, and to a joyful squeak, Madeline ran to her parents ' room. On the same day, the whole family went to Diagon Alley to buy things for the next school year. Of course, she had already walked the streets of Diagon Alley, and each time she did not want to leave there. These old bookstores, the famous Ollivander wand shop, the Gringotts Bank, and the robed wizards all fueled the fire of the desire to go to the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

And she was also worried about the question: "What faculty will they determine?". Slytherin ... Gryffindor ... Hufflepuff ... Ravenclaw ... it's so hard to choose one thing, because each department is good in its own way. After numerous attempts to weigh all the pros and cons, the young sorceress could not come to a single decision. Even talking to her father didn't help her make such a difficult and responsible decision.

"Honey, I understand that this is a difficult choice that can really change your future life. The entire Mortimer family studied and graduated from Slytherin, and I'd like you to be there, too. But we are different, and if you don't want to be in this department, the Sorting Hat will take your wish into account.»

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After this conversation, it became even harder, but curly was sure that tomorrow everything would be fine, and she would make the right choice.

"Maddie?" Where are you hovering? "Honey, I think she's gone to Hogwarts ahead of time," my father snapped in front of me.…

- What?  Madeline woke up. - Dad! I didn't go anywhere, I was just thinking.  I muttered back and hurriedly started eating my birthday cake.

***

After a while, when the cake was finished and the plates were cleared away, Madeline went up to her room and began to look carefully at her room. It was medium in size: yellow wallpaper with a simple pattern made the room visually larger, to the right of the door was a small desk, on which were scattered notebooks and some other accessories. A large black bookcase that didn't fit into the room at all, a gray little sofa that the girl had chosen herself and kept with it even after moving in, and a small bed that was so soft that Maddie often couldn't get up.

The girl went to the desk where the wand was lying.

"The Magic Wand… The real... my ... " - thought the girl. She still couldn't believe that in just a few hours she would be going to the school of her dreams. Maddie made a promise that she would learn best and please her parents. She really wanted to be a Great Sorceress.

After twirling her wand and looking at it from all sides, her gaze darted to Katie, the owl that had been bought for her in Diagon Alley. She was so small, with a brownish-white coloring and big golden eyes. Madeline had always had a special connection with animals, even though she had never had a pet before Katie.

Smiling at the owl, the girl placed her wand on the table and began to prepare for bed.

"Honey?" "What's that?" came a voice from the other side of the door, and the next second my mother's head popped out."May I?" — what is it? " she asked, to which she received a nod from her daughter. She crept into the room, and Maddie smiled. She didn't have any makeup on now, she looked so homely, but that didn't stop her from being beautiful. Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, Frideswida leaned over and kissed her daughter on the forehead, still smiling. In her heart, she was happy for her, because Medeline reminded her so much of her childhood, when she also opened her cherished letter with a sinking heart and waited for her departure for school.

- My dad and I are so proud of you... know that no matter what choice you make on the distribution, we love you and will always support you!  Mom whispered.

— I know… It's just that I'm scared — " the sorceress replied, and felt tears begin to gather in the corner of her eyes. She was really scared of the distribution. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

- Honey… Don't worry... " her mother hugged her daughter, and the girl felt a soothing warmth. Pulling away, she placed her hands on Madeline's cheeks and looked into her eyes. - Listen to your heart… You've always been a responsible and serious girl, so I understand you. Trust your sixth sense and you won't make a mistake — " she said, and with another hug, she quietly left the room, saying good night.

"Thank you," Maddie whispered, and a few minutes later she was lost in the realm of Morpheus, looking forward to tomorrow.

[one-shots-blog]

Wonder

A/n: Hello, part 3 of my series. I finished watching the TV show, Psych again, My favorite character is Carlton Lassiter. I was thinking about writhing some Psych fanfic. Tell me what you think.  Do not own anything. 

Hours went by until Jay got done telling the Cullens and Bella what happened through the years of Hogwarts. The good and bad times she experiences because she was friends with Harry Potter. 

Jay walked down the stairs after Hermione, nervous about going to the Yule Ball. She knew her friends would not approve the guy that was her date, but that did not matter. She accepted him for everything he has done in the past, and she hoped her friends believed in her.

Slowly, she makes her way towards her date, dress gliding against the floor. She was wearing a sequinned lace green dress with a satin basque waist, hugging her figure perfectly, showing her curves.

 She smiles when her eyes meet Harry's, seeing how dashing he look next to his date. Her head turns to meet the silver-gray eyes of her partner, knees becoming week. 

A blush appears on her face when he holds out his hand for her. Jay slides her hand in his grateful, not tripping down the stairs. Notably, in front of the many pair of eyes on them. "You look beautiful," Draco said, smirking when he notice her blush. He loved it when he could make her cheeks flush because of him—rolling her eyes at his arrogance before leading them to the Great Hall, awed by the transformation. 

" I love magic," she said, breathless, glancing at Draco with a grin. Standing in the front, she was able to see the four contestants open the dance, which was beautiful to see. 

"Can I have this dance?" Draco asked the same smug smirk she grew to love on his face, as he offers his hand. "I would love to, " she replied, allowing him to drag her to the dance floor that many couples occupied.

Jay places her head against Draco's chest, dancing to the slow beat, enjoying the peaceful moment.  "Potter and Wessel keep glaring at me," he mumbled in her ear, bringing her closer to his boy. Jay groaned mentally, knowing they can never have one night of peace, "ignore them. They don't like I went with the school's ferret," she teased, loving the disappearance of his arrogant smirk. 

Draco glares at her slightly, not liking she brought up the embarrassing moment for him. He still resented the buffoon as a teacher, but could not do anything to get that man fired. He tried. "Shut up," he grumbled, pouting slightly to the point only Jay realized it. Jay laughs, shaking her head, leaning up to press her lips against his for a second. "Sorry, Baby Draco. Did I hurt your poor feelings?"

Draco growled, not like she was teasing him, even if he did like her. No one messes with Draco Lucius Malfoy. He grins mischievously, hands on her waist as he pulls her close till there was no space between them. He roughly kissed her, not caring about the people that could see them together. Her hands wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss. Her body felt on fire; butterflies in her stomach made her feel giddy. 

Few seconds pass until the two broke apart, trying to get air in their lungs. Draco stared at Jay, realizing this is the girl he wants to be with, no matter what. "I love you," he whispered, cupping her cheeks in his hands, kissing her gentler this time. 

Jay's eyes light up, hearing what Draco told her. Her heart beats fast, loving the rare side of Draco; she only sees because she feels special. "I love you too," she confessed, not wanting this moment ever to end, not knowing the horrors to come. 

"Jay?" Bella, meekly said, not want to anger her cousin since it appeared she remembered something special. Jay's head snaps towards Bella's spot on the piano with Edward, her eyes narrowed, scanning the area.  

"Yes?" Jay questioned, calming down as she felt Teddy in her arms, sleeping. She sighs, glancing over the vampire family, not feeling utterly comfortable with them since Hermione and she had a bad experience with one. 

Emmett is bouncing up and down, excited to ask her to follow up questions since he wanted to learn more about the magical world. Rosalie kept glancing at the child, longing in her eyes to get close to the boy. Alice frowned, not understanding why her powers were not working, and could not see any of their futures. Jay would connect to their future, but it frustrated Alice for it to be unknown. Jasper sat next to Jay, feeling comfortable next to her, not wanting to drink every drop of blood. He felt connected to her and wanted to be there for her. Not like the fact, there was already a man in her life. 

Carlisle sat beside his wife, not understanding how he did not know about the magical world. He heard rumors about witches and wizards but never knew it was real. He was fascinated this young woman lived through so much for her age and how strong she is. He would love to hear more and hope she would give her expertise on the medical side of the magic world. Esme stared at the poor girl, feeling sorry for her and everything that she went through. She did not like that Jay and her friends were in danger since they were 11. 

Bella was shocked at how much her cousin was hiding from her. Bella would have thought Jay was joking about being a witch and want to get her tested. Now, she was more accepting of the supernatural things that existed. I mean, Bella is dating a vampire. She then remembers, Jacob is a werewolf, so of course, witches were real. Edward glared at Jay, not trusting her for one bit. He did not like that her mind was blocked for him. He knew she was impacting Alice as well; this caused him to be cautious around her.  

Jay's phone beeps, making her shift in her seat, needing to reach the phone. She looked up, staring into the amber eyes of Rosalie if she remembered correctly. Hermione told her vampires could not conceive with each other, but there were some exceptions. Jay sighs, having a feeling Draco was trying to check up on her since it has gotten late. Debating, she finally thought it would be okay," would you like to hold him," she asked, Rosalie. 

The room went silent; everyone glancing at the two girls, wearily, not knowing how Rosalie will react. Bella opened her mouth to protest but shut it when Rosalie glares at her. "I would love to," Rosalie said softly, holding out her arms for the baby. Jay gets up, wrapping the blanket around Teddy, thinking about how cold Rosalie would feel to him. Jay gently sets Teddy in Rosalie's arms, noticing her gentle expression that seemed she was close to tears. 

Jay quickly gets her phone to see it was Draco. Rolling her eyes, she calls him, knowing she could cast a silencing charm because they knew who she was. Casting the Magic, she sits down beside Jasper, the boy that made her nervous. Not the scared nervous, but more like a schoolgirl crush nervous, which surprised her. 

"Hello?"

"Where are you? Please tell me you are not still with them." Draco said, worried. Jay could see him frantically pacing, which made her feel guilty for what she was putting him through. 

"Yes, but that is because my cousin had to know. She can be bossy as Hermione at times," she said, glancing at Bella, smirking at Edward just to piss him off. 

" Ah yes, little miss know it all was very bossy. Never knew why you are friends with her," he drawled, not caring that he was friends with Granger as well. 

Jay rolled her eyes, not bothered by his attitude, knowing he lashes out is his mechanism to protect himself. "I will stay the night. Now, do I keep Teddy, or do you want to get him? Also, you will not get me to leave. I need to make sure the Cullens and my cousin are safe. Did you do the thing I asked you?"

" Really? We were on vacation for you to relax. Did you tell Potter what is going on? You know he will not like the idea of Teddy being around those things. I will pick him up in an hour. I am doing it right now, so I will come over when it is complete. Send me the details on where I need to go. I love you," he drawled, not hiding his annoyance from her leaving him. 

"I love you too, ferret. It is just for one night; then, we will spend the rest of our vacation together. I still have those clothes I need to show you, you know. I think you will like the emerald green lingerie I got for you," Jay smiled when she heard his low groan. "I will see you later, love."

Hanging up, she waves her hand, disarming the charm, hearing the people around her talk. "Why could we not hear you?"

"Can you show me more magic?"

"Who was it?"

"Are you hungry?"

More questions were thrown at Jay, making her stop them with her hands. "Magic. Sure. None of your business, Eddiekins. I am, and I should feed Teddy while I am at it. " Jay said, getting up, waving her hand, and a pop sound scared everyone. There on the table was a bag that was not there before. Rummaging through the bag, she grabs a few things looking at Esme, "can you show me the kitchen?"

Before Esme could talk, Jasper stands, offering his hand, " I can show you, ma'am," he replied in his southern drawl, sending shivers down Jay's spine. Nodding, she motions for Rosalie to follow, knowing she did not want to give up Teddy anytime soon. The three went to the kitchen, silently, each in their minds thinking.

'I wonder if she will let me babysit.'

'She sure is interesting compared to her cousin. I do not see how the two are related,' Jasper thinking, hearing Edward growling at him. Jasper sends calmness towards Edward, not liking how he could read his thought.  

The two vampires watch the witch tinker around the kitchen, not minding the others were listening in excluding Bella. "Sorry, I need to feed him before he comes. Knowing him, he will not like that Teddy has been sleeping since he will be up all night," Jay explained, finish fixing the bottle. She then offers the bottle to Rosalie, surprising the two. The two thought she would take Teddy to feed him, not give the bottle away. 

"I feed him a lot of times. I figured you would want a chance," Jay explained, softly, careful not to press her. Rosalie smiles, nodding her head as she takes the bottle. She is beginning to feed Teddy, watching how his tiny fingers tried to grab the bottle. 

Jay moved to the side, grabbed her phone, silently took a picture of the scene, and thought of getting the photo developed. She figured Rosalie would like the photo to remind her of the baby. Jay's eyes trail toward the man that made her feel things should not. She wondered how his honey blonde hair felt if she ran her fingers through them. Jasper was muscular, unlike Edward, but lean, unlike Emmett. His skin covered in scars spaced most thickly together on his neck and jaw. 

A fighter screamed in Jay's mind, knowing how it feels to have scars from war. She knew who he was when she learned his name. She mentally thanked Hermione for getting that book of the Confederate Army, having a long chapter of the youngest Major Jasper Whitlock. Unconsciously, she adjusts her clothes, making sure none of her scars could see. After the final battle, it was hard for Jay to look at her body. It would take time for Jay to get most of the scars to fade with the help of Madam Pomfrey.

"Are you okay?" Jasper's voice interpreted Jay's thoughts, making her shake her head. "Sorry, was just thinking of something," she said, walking towards Rosalie, gently grabbing Teddy. She starts to pat him on the back, rocking him side to side, waiting for him to burp. Jay sings in a gentle tone, walking towards where the other vampires are. 

"Well, don't you look all motherly and comfortable with these blood-suckers," a cold, menacing voice drawled out, surprising the vampires and Bella with the sudden intrusion. 

Taglist 

@celebrity-obsessed

[aspiringauthorintraining]

It’s All Your Fault

Rated T for bad(?) words and innuendos (lol)

_____________________________

“Baby, nothing happened!” 

“I know. I trust you. I’m just…”

“Just what?”

(Y/N) groaned into her palms. “I’m mmrmrphm.”

“What’s that love?” Draco smirked, prying her hands away from her face.

“I’m jealous, okay?” She mumbled, glaring at his happily smug face.

He pulled at her arms, bringing her into his lap.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Draco snuggled his face into her, his words tickling her neck. “I swear nothing happened. In fact, I didn’t even bother going.”

This grabbed (Y/N)’s attention. “What?!” She shifted in his lap, bringing her face-to-face with her boyfriend. “Draco, your parents…” Her brows furrowed in worry, looking at his face for any indication of fear or anger. His reassuring smile confused her, however.

Draco had been set up for blind dates with all the eligible Slytherin pureblood bachelorettes, for the future of the Malfoy lineage, starting from Year 4. But Draco never ended up going to any of them. Being the cunning Slytherin he was, he always found some ridiculous excuse not to go. The fact that he was already dating (Y/N) was the real reason, but it was kept secret from his family, since (Y/N)’s family was well-known as a ‘blood-traitor’ family in his parents’ social circles. His parents never suspected anything, until some pesky lower year Slytherin informed his father about their relationship. Unsurprisingly, they were furious and threatened to disown him, if he didn’t break up with (Y/N) and attend the next blind date. 

“As of this morning, I am officially the disowned son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.” He grinned, with no sign of any emotion other than pure happiness.

“What! Draco, please tell me you’re joking.” She grasped his hands in hers, hoping it was a prank.

Draco’s smile fell, turning into a pout. “I thought you’d be happy for me. I mean it’s all your fault.”

“My fault? How is this my fault?” She asked incredulously.

“You just had to come into my life and make me into a better person, didn’t you?” (Y/N)’s eyes softened at his words. 

“You made me realize how wrong my parents’ views of blood purity were, after your little rant in our second year. I couldn’t sit through a full meal discussing politics with them since then. You just had to be so persuasive and intelligent.” His hands reached up to cradle her face, swiping his thumb against her cheek. 

“You refused to put up with my pureblood shit, and called me out for it every time, embarrassing me in front of my friends.” She frowned slightly at his words. “And making me fall deeper in love with you.” The smile returned to her lips.

“You made me become friends with bloody Potter of all people.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “Sure, I made you.” She agreed sarcastically.

“Quiet, babe. I’m trying to be romantic here.” 

Although rolling her eyes at his antics, she played along, miming zipping up her lips, locking it, throwing away the imaginary key.

“Where was I? Oh, yes. You, (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), are the most infuriating person I’ve ever met.” 

(Y/N) waited expectantly for his next words. 

“Alright, I’m done now.” 

Draco tried hard not to smile but failing, seeing his girlfriend pout at his final words. Feeling her try to leave, he wrapped his arms around her tighter. He neared her lips, teasingly hovering over them, and kissed her soundly before she could escape his grasp. She didn’t even attempt to resist. They broke apart, eventually, having to come up for air. 

“You, (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) are the most beautiful and intelligent woman I have ever met. No woman, pureblood or not, will ever come close to you. And since this is all your fault, you need to take responsibility.” He pulled them both up, creating some distance between them. 

(Y/N) was confused to what responsibility he was referring to. She saw him kneel down on one knee in front of her, conjuring a small velvet box from thin air with his wand. Her breath hitched at the scene.

“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me?” 

(Y/N)’s eyes filled with tears, as she tackled Malfoy to the floor, kissing him heatedly. After about a good five minutes of continuous, passion-filled snogging on the floor, with her on top of him, they finally broke apart. Both their cheeks were stained with her tears, and red from the lack of air.

“Not that I’m complaining or anything,” Draco said, a little out of breath. “but I think a verbal answer is needed to prevent any future confusion.” 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, now fiancee before replying. “Yes, you idiot. A thousand times yes.” They both smiled at her obvious answer, basking in the romantic moment. Draco broke the comfortable silence after a while.

“Since I’m disowned now, should I take on your surname?” He joked, wiping away her tears.

“If you want. You’re basically a trophy wife now.” She retorted, while peppering his face with light kisses. “I’ll keep you fed and happy. And you’ll keep me happy and satisfied.” She wiggled her brows, surprising him with her innuendo.

He placed a teasing kiss on her lips before replying. 

“Fine by me. I like a woman on top.” 

*(A/N): I couldn’t sleep so I just wrote this. It turned out more fluffy than I planned.

[blankdblank]

Anaticula Pt 48

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10 - Pt 11 - Pt 12 - Pt 13 - Pt 14 - Pt 15 - Pt 16 - Pt 17 - Pt 18 - Pt 19 - Pt 20 - Pt 21 - Pt 21b - Pt 22 - Pt 23 - Pt 24 - Pt 25 - Pt 26 -  Pt 27 - Pt 28 - Pt 29 - Pt 30 - Pt 31 - Pt 33 - Pt 34 - Pt 35 - Pt 36 - Pt 37 - Pt 38 - Pt 39 - Pt 40 - Pt 41 - Pt 42 - Pt 43 - Pt 44 - Pt 45 - Pt 46 - Pt 47 -

After the class Harry hurried off to the common room with the others behind him including Neville, who was rushing to keep up. “Harry, are you sure?”

“I saw it. It's just like with Mr. Weasley. It's the door I've been dreaming about. I couldn't remember where I'd seen it before. Sirius said Voldemort was after something. Something he didn't have the last time, in the Department of Mysteries.”

Hermione, “Harry, please, just listen. What if Voldemort meant for you to see this? What if he's only hurting Sirius because he's trying to get to you?”

“What if he is? I'm supposed to just let him die?” Hermione tried to grab him only to have him turn pulling his arm away, “Hermione, he's part of the only family I've got left.”

Ron, “What do we do?”

Neville nervously watched as Harry said, “We'll have to use the Floo Network.”

Draco, “Umbridge has the chimneys under surveillance.”

Draco, “Not all of them.”

Up to her office they hurried and charmed open her door, “Alohomora.”

Harry, “Alert the Order if you can.”

Neville, “Are you mental? We're going with you.”

Harry, “It's too dangerous.”

Ron, “When are you going to get it into your head? We're in this together.”

Umbridge behind them entered saying, “That you are.”

Crabbe entered with Luna and Ginny in his hold, “Caught this one trying to help the Weasley girl.”

Umbridge shoved Harry into the chair, “You were going to Dumbledore, weren't you?”

Harry, “No.”

In a firm slap the mouths of the students fell open at her striking him on the cheek, “Liar.”

With narrowed eyes Snape entered lowly humming, “You sent for me, headmistress?”

Umbridge, “Snape, yes. The time has come for answers, whether he wants to give them to me or not. Have you brought the Veritaserum?”

Snape shook his head, “I'm afraid you've used up all my stores interrogating students. The last of it on Miss Edgecomb. Unless you wish to poison him... And I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did. I cannot help you.”

In his turn to join Barty down the hall to come up with a diversion he froze hearing, “He's got Padfoot.” Looking at Harry the teen continued at his stiffening, “He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden.” A burning of a charm in his pocket on his thigh signaled the Order was assembling and he inhaled narrowing his eyes praying you weren’t there.

Umbridge, “Padfoot? What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What is he talking about, Snape?”

Shaking his head Snape flatly said after a glance at the other students, “No idea.” Then turned promptly to go find Barty to try and get into contact with you and the others.

Umbridge, “Very well. You give me no choice, Potter. As this is an issue of Ministry security... you leave me with... no alternative. The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue.”

Hermione, “That's illegal.”

Umbridge, “What Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him.”

Neville scoffed, “We all know the hex on you, what’ll you do, fire ducks at him till he talks?”

Umbridge turned and grabbed the neck of Harry’s shirt pinning him back making him gasp for air at the shock of it, Hermione afraid for what she would stoop to shouted, “Tell her, Harry!”

Umbridge, “Tell me what?”

The room all looked at her, “Well, if you won't tell her where it is...I will.”

Umbridge, “Where what is?”

Hermione, “Dumbledore's secret weapon.”

She smirked tugging Harry from the chair and motioned for Hermione to come with her. Out the castle and straight to the forest she followed the duo huffing about the mud growing on her pink pumps by the minute. “How much further?”

Hermione, “Not far. It had to be somewhere students wouldn't find it accidentally.”

Harry, “What are you doing?”

To which she whispered back, “Improvising.”

.

In the empty clearing where Grawp is usually kept the teens circled wetting their lips anxiously wondering where he went to, “Well? Where is this weapon? There isn't one, is there? You were trying to trick me.” In a defeated tone she continued on, “You know...I really hate children.”

The snap of a branch had them turn around and had her wand extended up at the band of centaurs Harry nodded his head to remembering your sharing a sign of respect if they had ever crossed paths with the herd, to which Bane returned a nod. 

Umbridge however stated in Hermione’s flinch of a nod at Harry’s miming, “You have no business here, centaur. This is a Ministry matter. Lower your weapons.” An arrow was notched and she added, “I warn you, under the law, as creatures of near-human intelligence...” The arrow was fired and she ducked behind Harry, who muttered, “Protego.” Shielding the pair of them.

Behind him she cried out, “How dare you? Filthy half-breed. Incarcerous.” Instead of firing a rope off the herd halted seeing the duck shoot out of her wand making the teens roll their eyes.

The herd circled them all and Hermione spotted Grawp approaching who picked up Umbridge at her tight grip on Hermione’s arm, “Please. Please stop it. Please.”

Umbridge shouted at an arrow being fired at her ankle, “Now, enough. I will have order. You filthy animal. Do you know who I am?”

Reaching up Hermione tapped Bane’s elbow drawing his eyes to her, “Leave Grawp alone. It's not his fault. Please. No, he doesn't understand.”

Bane nodded and shouted in Giantish making Grawp set Umbridge down in their reach to be lifted by two of them, “Potter, do something. Tell them I mean no harm.”

They began turning to run off while Bane awaited his answer, “I'm sorry, Professor. But I must not tell lies.” Bane smirked and gave the order to carry her off.

Umbridge, “What are you doing? I am Senior Undersecretary Dolores Jane Umbridge. Let me go!”

Hermione peered up with a grin, “Thank you, Grawp.” The giant nodded and strolled off back to his bed to sit down.

Harry patted her arm, “Hermione. Hermione, Sirius.”

.

Out on the edges of the forest Harry asked the rest of the DA, “How'd you get away?”

Ginny, “Puking Pastilles. It wasn't pretty.”

Ron, “Told them I was hungry, wanted some sweets. They told me to bugger off and ate the lot themselves.”

Hermione, “That was clever, Ron.”

Ron, “Has been known to happen.”

Ginny, “It was brilliant.”

Neville, “So how are we getting to London?”

Harry, “Look, it's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done, all of you...but I've got you into enough trouble as it is.”

Neville, “Dumbledore's Army's supposed to be about doing something real. Or was that all just words to you? I wrote to Jaqi and she’s not answering, she never ignores a call.”

Ron, “Maybe you don't have to do this all by yourself, mate.”

Draco, “So how are we going to get to London?”

Luna smirked, “We fly, of course.”

**

Hours you had been sitting and after a stolen trip to the toilet each in pairs you returned to watch without a sign of anything until you got word from Neville about Harry’s dream not long before one from Snape confirming what Neville had assumed. In a note to Percy you a confirmation that Sirius and Remus were safe though a distant door opened and again you stood readying your wands.

Draco, “Department of Mysteries.”

Harry, “This is it.”

Softly in latin you muttered, “Honestly, are we going to have to break his legs to keep him safe?” soft chortles sounded around you and you heard them coming closer.

Harry, “Ninety-two. Ninety-three. Ninety-four. Ninety-five.” Looking at the floor where he’d seen Sirius kneeling he muttered, “He should be here.”

Moving closer Hermione spotted you in the drop of the mirror charm moving your hands at your side in a silent question of why they were there, “Harry.”

He looked up and asked, “Jaqi? Fred, George, Regulus, what are you doing here?”

Moving closer you said, “Trying to make sure you didn’t come here. You tiny terror you.”

“But, Sirius-,”

You nodded, “Not Dad Harry. Dad’s at home.”

Harry shook his head, “But, he, I-,”

Neville’s head turned and he tapped Harry’s shoulder, “It's got your name on it.”

In a whisper as he claimed the orb the prophecy spoke, ‘The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. And the Dark Lord shall mark him as his equal... but he shall have power the Dark Lord knows not. For neither can live while the other survives.’

Lowering the orb his eyes turned to you as you shifted with Regulus and the twins to circle the younger students blocking them at the arrival of a Death Eater masked who strolled closer to you.

Lucius’ voice sounded out turning your head, “You know, you really should learn to tell the difference between dreams... and reality. You saw only what the Dark Lord wanted you to see. Now, hand me the prophecy.” His brows rising in a hopefully convincing gesture making Draco nudge his arm Harry shook off.

Harry, “If you do anything to us, I'll break it.”

Narrowing your eyes a familiar face appeared and you subtly drew your wand in Bellatrix’ approach signaling you to tap Neville’s wand holding arm to remain still, “He knows how to play. Itty, bitty baby. Potter.”

Neville, “Bellatrix Lestrange.”

Her eyes locked on you with a taunting smirk then back to him, “Neville Longbottom, is it? How's Mum and Dad?” Twitching her fingers around the handle of her wand reading to fire a curse at you both.

Neville, “Better, now they're about to be avenged.”

Your hand rose up to shove his arm back down with a circle of your wand over you reducing her curse to a pink mist falling to the floor, Lucius stepped between you and Bellatrix raising his hand, “Now, let's everybody just calm down...shall we? All we want is that prophecy.”

Harry, “Why did Voldemort need me to come and get this?”

Bellatrix raised her wand again shouting making Lucius turn gripping her arm to lower it in a low growl, “You dare speak his name? You filthy half-blood!”

Lucius lowly growled, “Shut, up!” Turning around he glanced at you with an exasperated sigh then looked to Harry who inched closer to your side while Neville glared at Bellatrix still, “It's all right. He's just a curious lad, aren't you? Prophecies can only be retrieved by those about whom they are made. Which is lucky for you, really. Haven't you always wondered... the reason for the connection between you and the Dark Lord? Why he was unable to kill you... when you were just an infant? Don't you want to know the secret of your scar? All the answers are there, Potter, in your hand. All you have to do... is give it to me. Then I can show you everything.”

Harry softly muttered, “I've waited 14 years.”

Lucius nodded, “I know.” Extending his hand palm up.

Harry quickly stated, “I guess I can wait a little longer.” After a roll of your eyes Lucius gave you a nod and locked eyes with his son in a try to give him courage to send a hex their way, stepping back readying for an attack, “Now. Stupefy.”

The other teens around you raised their wands at the other Death Eaters around you shouting, “Stupefy.”

One Death Eater shouted back, “Levicorpus.”

To which Neville blocked silently to shield you both firing back, “Petrificus Totalus.”

Regulus patted his back in the drop of the Death Eater’s body loudly to the ground, “Well done, Neville.”

“Stupefy.”

“Stupefy.”

“Stupefy.”

“Stupefy.”

After a series of blocking spells you all eyed the swarming group of Death Eaters at which Ginny aimed her wand at shouting, “Reducto.”

Softly you stated, “Wrong spell.”

Ginny looked at you as your hand gripped her arm in a mental rubbering spell to keep the prophecies in tact to bounce around then settle and you back stepped into Draco’s chest, “What?”

Pushing her along you said, “Run, now!”

At the sight of the collapsing shelves sending glass balls raining down to the floor all the teens joined you in sprinting at George saying, “Get back to the door.”

The door swung open at Fred’s charm and you all, even against your tries to stop, fell through the door into the seemingly bottomless hall attached and came to a sudden hovering stop inches from the ground. A final small drop and you sighed at being on the ground again. Clambering to your feet you eyed the roughly carved octagonal hall around a lone archway with a silvery veil fluttering inside it serenely luring you closer with the soft whispers coming through it.

Ron stood up saying, “Department of Mysteries.”

Barely audible you heard your name being called before a soft whisper saying, “I am here.” Your eyes narrowed as you inched closer.

Ron, “They got that bit right, didn't they?”

Harry, “The voices. Can you tell what they're saying?”

Hermione, “There aren't any voices, Harry.”

Ron, “Let's get out of here.”

Luna, “I hear them too.”

Hermione, “Harry, it's just an empty archway.”

Shaking your head as Regulus gripped your belt loop keeping you from walking through it if you were in a trance you said, “No, it’s a doorway.”

Draco, “To where?”

The voice spoke again, “Not yet. Balance the scales. Trust. Hope. Love.” Stepping back you said, “Somewhere we can’t go yet.”

Dark plumes of smoke circled the room with Bellatrix’s cackle echoing around the room landing around you as you circled up again looking at the others with Bellatrix landing opposite you raising her wand.

Plumes of light entered next in the first flash of spells you answered with another circle of your wand pushing back the Death Eaters with a rebounding curse dissipating theirs. The Aurors lined up with you blocking the teens as best they could with Sirius tugging Harry away from Lucius, who gave Sirius a nod for a good show of a duel. “Please, Harry. Get behind me.”

Bellatrix strolled closer to you, “Did you actually believe...or were you truly naive enough to think... that children stood a chance against us?”

Lucius extended his hand again, “I'll make this simple for you, Potter. Give me the prophecy now...or watch your friends die.” His eyes locked with Sirius who readied his own stance.

Sirius brushed Harry more behind him, “Don't give it to him, Harry.” In Lucius’ step closer Sirius lowered his wand and in Lucius’ inhale he drew his fist back and punched him knocking Lucius out of the way so he could fire at Rudolphus behind him sneaking up on Neville, “Get away from my godson.”

Sirius pulled Harry back behind a band of rocks, after his having thrown the prophecy at the ground smashing it, saying while you rebuffed another of Bellatrix’ curses and fired another at Rudolphus in his try to raise his wand at Neville, “Now, listen to me. Take the others and get out of here.”

Harry, “What? No, I'm staying with you.”

Sirius, “You've done beautifully. Now, let me take it from here.”

Rudolphus stepped forward shooting a curse luring Sirius and Harry out, “Black.”

Lucius lined up beside Rudolphus and Harry fired off a spell, “Expelliarmus!”

Rudolphus lost his wand and Sirius rebounded Lucius’ curse at Rudolphus sending him off into the distance, “Nice one, James.”

After a third blast of your wand slamming Bellatrix into the wall she soared off into a plume of smoke you followed with your eyes blocking her from trying to attack Neville leading to her landing on the side firing off a green blast at Sirius, “Avada Kedavra.” Sending him back through the silver archway vanishing from sight.

Harry was instantly grabbed by Remus in her smirking backwards strut as he cried out, “No. No.”

Her smirk died at her noticing your body wreathed in sparks and eyes glowing in your sharp inhale making her turn and run through the hall behind her, behind you in your sprint after her Remus cried out, “It was a Ghoul Jaqi! It was a Ghoul!” Harry froze in confusion as did the others but in the Peruvian instant darkness clump you threw behind you none moved until the twins managed to mutter the counter spell to allow them all after you.

“I killed Sirius Black. You coming to get me?”

Four halls later and in the main hall a ripple of the tiles under Bellatrix’ feet managed to trip her up enough for you to rush behind her slamming into her back sending you both into a sideways flip at the planting of your foot in a drop to your knee. Tightly your hand fisted in her hair and you her head slammed harshly into the ground bloodying her cheek and nose at the splitting tiles under her. Echoes traveled the hall your eyes darkened to purple hearing Remus with the other Death Eaters having fled, “Ghoul!”

A jolt of a red curse to your torso sent you flying onto your back allowing her to scramble to her feet in an unsteady stagger trying to get away from your reach. Panting you rolled over and climbed to your knees peering at her through your curls with a giggle, “Aww, Auntie Bella, what happened, no hug? First time we’ve met. Come on.” On your feet you said, “Come closer.”

At her stepping back again your smirk deepened in a weak chuckle and you blocked her next curse, “You are not my family! Pathetic halfblood!” Her wand swished and you winced at her next Cruciatic curse lowering you to your knees.

When she released it you chuckled, “Halfblood?” Her head nodded with brows raised and you rose, “Guess they don’t get the news that quick out in Azkaban. Surprised uncle hasn’t told you yet.” Stepping closer to her you said, “My Mum is Voldemort’s cousin.”

Her face dropped and she shook her head, “Lying! You’re lying!”

A swish of her wand and you aparated to avoid the golden bench she hurled at you making her twist around then fall heavily at your left hook when she turned to find you behind her, “Ask him.”

“Crucio!”

In a swish of your wand you stated in Latin, “Rubber,” then aimed your wand at her, “Glue” sending her curse back at her making her cry out in a drop to her knees. In a glance to your right you spotted Harry appear in the hallway you had exited distracting you from her. Suddenly a sharp jolt landed in your side dropping you to the ground in another muffled shout and a bolt of red light burning another scar into your skin making the teens and Aurors group up behind your mirrored barrier blocking them in the hall.

“I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK! AND YOU ARE A WORTHLESS DIRTY BLOOD LIAR!!” In a trembling rise to your knees your eyes narrowed at her and before she could raise up or step away you lunged forward. Tackling her with hard punch to her face making Hermione gasp covering her mouth to remain quiet at the next three jolts of faltering red light you kept punching her through as she continued her shouts, “He’s, Dead!!” Another jolt of red light came and she struggled to get out from under your body pinning her down, “Orphan! Halfblood! LIAR!” Another punch came down and through her bloody cough she jammed her wand in your side, “Impirius!”

In a jolt of yellow light you grit your teeth as she tossed you off her to slide into the wall in her stagger to her feet again. With a harsh cough she straightened up in a teasing tilt of her chin as the gashes on her face bled, “Filthy, halfblood, liar!” 

Again your body found its feet and you charged over for her making her backtrack into the path of the lit fireplace freeing Riddle inside making the group gasp seeing you still heading for her. An enamored smile came from her in a tilting sway of her body to avoid his path using him as a shield. Only in his eyes raking over you halting on the clear bleeding wounds on your middle and arms he missed the rise of your arm in a firm back hand across his cheek making the rest of the group cover their mouths at Riddle’s suddenly raised wand. Him and Bellatrix missing Dumbledore’s entrance entirely as he lifted you from the ground with a snarl at the burn in his pinking cheek.

Off to the side Neville pocketed the picture from the camera that had been following you from home still capturing stills of your battles and reactions candidly as it was enchanted to when your family got together in big groups.

Narrowly Riddle’s eyes looked over your face more hurt and confused than furious with you pulling you a bit closer to ask why you had struck him only to lower you as Bellatrix taunted again, “Orphan, Halfblood, liar!”

In relief you coughed as your free hand rose to your neck Riddle turned to Bellatrix, “What did you say?”

She pointed her wand at you which he flicked her wand away making her smirk drop, “That lying little child said her filthy mudblood mother was a relation of yours.”

Riddle flatly replied, “Yes, my cousin.” Her mouth fell open in a glance at you catching your thumb swiping off your chin in a subtle ‘screw you’ then she looked at him again back stepping as he said, “You mentioned something about, orphan?”

Timidly she repeated, “I, killed, Si-,”

Riddle shook his head and held her in place with a curse turning to draw her back between you both in his step aside while you noticed Albus behind his own mirroring charm “Now, if you are breathing when she is done with you, we will be discussing a few ground rules.” His hold on her dropped and she eyed you, “Raise your wand Bellatrix!”

Softly you stated, “Let me make this perfectly clear. Never touch the Longbottoms or my father again.”

Her eyes narrowed raising her own wand as you raised yours, shaking her head she said, “But, I-,”

You shook your head, “No, you didn’t.” A blast of orange light exploded from your wand sending her flying into one of the fireplaces where she slammed hard into the back of it then collapsed to her knees after a slide down the wall vanishing to the hidden manor making your head turn to Riddle, who instantly fired a holding charm on you.

“Now that your anger is sated,” he floated you closer, “Now that I have been patient with your anger you will repay that kindness with another, and you will tell me what the prophecy is.”

Struggling to breathe you hovered there and he started, “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ...born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ...” After reciting what he knew so far he demanded, “What power?”

“It doesn’t say.”

Tighter he gripped your neck making those behind your barrier struggle to remain quiet, “Then what does it say?!”

In a weak whisper you replied while Remus covered Harry’s mouth noticing him ready to shout, “and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ...”

“That can’t be all.” His grip tightened and he pulled you closer, “Show me! If that is-,”

At your eyes flashing silver his did as well making Remus mumble in latin, “She just, so quickly, broke into his mind.”

Regulus leaned over to whisper, “I told you.”

The longer you shared of the memory the more your scar darkened starting to drip black ooze making Ginny ask, “What’s happening to her face?”

Sirius’ fists clenched, “Hold on Pumpkin. Hold on.”

Suddenly you gasped breaking the bond when the left side of your face was drenched with the ooze and his eyes narrowed and in a turn of his head your barrier flickered allowing Harry through before it shot up again in your calming breaths on your back when Riddle dropped you. Instantly from his confused glance at the liquid on your face Riddle turned to face Harry while you slid backwards out of his sight up against the wall where you trembled in your shift onto your knees.

Harry, “So much for a weapon, huh?” Softly you whimpered lowering your head to wipe your face on the bottom of your blood stained tank top.

Riddle answered, “Do you even understand what it means, Potter?” Stepping closer, “What it truly means, for you?”

Forcing yourself to your feet you sheathed your wand, extending your hand towards Dumbledore it folded around the Elder wand that flew towards you in your full body morph into Dumbledore as you triggered another fireplace behind you to light up mocking his arrival.

Firmly in his voice you stated, “It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way.”

Riddle turned as you flicked the wand sideways casting Harry aside near Dumbledore, who inched closer to your barrier he wandlessly strengthened in what he sensed as the waning of your strength.

Riddle, “By which time I shall be gone, and you... shall be dead.” A jut of his wand cast out a blue beam of light bubbling and dripping in its meeting your red and white one easily growing stronger over his making his smirk flinch at the sea of lightning bolts shooting off around you, “You've lost, old man.”

In a move from Harry to jolt up again Riddle used your move to brush him back again to withdraw his attack to breathe a ball of flame he flung out with his wand creating a flaming snake. Motionless in your eyeing the rising snake Riddle took that as a reason to smirk until you gave the wand a flick. From its belly outwards it rippled into ice while you avoided its attack in a step to your right trapping Riddle in a ball of water from the fountains that dropped to the ground at Harry’s jump to his feet again.

A grip of his shoulder and a shove had him sliding across the floor behind the golden centaur you brought to life to guard and hold him back while you turned to face Riddle. Without a pause dissipating the shadow curse he sent at you with a rippling wall of light drawing a stunned gasp from him when it washed over him healing his blistering cheek from your slap.

Narrowing his gaze his arms shot up for an explosion making the entire wall of glass behind him shatter to send at you and Harry both that turned to dust against your protective bubble. In a ripple of dust his body faded making you turn only to see Harry drop at a swirl of dust circling up around him. On the ground his normally emerald eyes glowed in a bright blue bringing you over to him at the retraction of the golden centaur.

Riddle, “Harry. So weak. So vulnerable.”

In his mingled visions Riddle was stirring up Harry’s eyes locked on yours, “Look at me. Harry, it isn't how you are alike. It's how you are not.”

Riddle feeling his control fading, “Harry?”

Harry winced back, “You're the weak one...and you'll never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.”

At that you fired a familiar silver spell mentally muttering, “Apstraho!” casting Riddle in a harsh explosion of light into the wall behind him rippling out of Harry, who you stepped over as the light dimmed.

Riddle, panting on his finding feet stated, “You're a fool, Harry Potter. And you will lose everything.” His eyes rose to land on you before you could raise your wand holding you up by your neck, “Starting with you.”

In a swipe of his hand Dumbledore drew Harry’s dropped wand to himself at the fall of your barrier seeing your reappearing scar bleeding the black ooze again and he raised it in the ripple of your disguise falling at the lighting of the fireplaces on your right bringing Fudge and a series of Wizengamot Aurors into clear view. 

All at once their expressions dropped as another picture of you was captured, in a turn of your head Riddle’s eyes widened seeing you in his grip making him look to where he had left you finding it empty. Dumbledore’s step into his view narrowed his eyes again seeing his wand was aimed at you and not him clearly meaning to him that Dumbledore had forced you to duel in his place. Another glance at you dripping with remorse ended at your soft Parseltongue whisper of, “Run.”

In one motion he released you and vanished into thin air, weakly your feet couldn’t hold you and your body collapsed backwards into Neville’s arms after his race over you fell with eyes rolling back dropping Dumbledore’s wand at his feet. Around you and Harry the others grouped as Fudge stood still muttering, “He’s back.”

Pt 49

[candylani-draws]

When Evil Conquers YT - Chapter 2

Character List: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/177562446573/when-evil-conquers-youtube-character-list

Cover Art: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/177562290268/hey-peeps-im-so-excited-to-be-re-publishing

Wattpad Link: https://my.w.tt/rTElIdf6MP

Deviantart Link: https://www.deviantart.com/pandaserules97/gallery/67161703/When-Evil-Conquers-YouTube

(READ THIS FIRST!!) Important Notes: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178727812658/when-evil-conquers-yt-important-notes-about-the

Prologue Link: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178859191453/when-evil-conquers-yt-prologue

Chapter 1: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178892439558/when-evil-conquers-yt-chapter-1

WARNING - This chapter uses high levels of offensive language, including insults and nasty comments about these certain Tubers. I obviously do not hate these people, this is just for story sake. If you feel that you are going to be offended by the words here, just skip to the end. Thanks!

Anon: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to announce my purpose for joining this occult!"

He leans down to inspect the pages, then opens the large book to the page he was looking for, a large slam echoed the rooms. In it lies a cell phone, and he pulls it out.

Anon: "Now, as I load my information, allow me to give some context. Most of you are aware of a popular video website called 'YouTube', correct?"

Lucifer: "You mean that stupid website that forbids copyrighted material and is full of pampering, self-absorbed morons?"

Anon: "Yes, exactly! And don't forget about ad revenue!"

His YouTube app has loaded, and he begins to search, both for his content, and in his notebook.

Anon: "Now then, I have four specific specimens who I believe deserve a bit of a punishment..."

Lucifer: "Ooh, what kind of punishment?"

Leader: "Have patience, Lucifer. We cannot have anything done if we rush into it..."

Anon: "Ah, here we are!"

Anon flips over several pages and reveals a large list of names.

Anon: "For 7 years, I've putting all of my time into this YouTube matter, finding out who and what is popular during different eras, and today, I have found the perfect victims. Now, if you look at this list, it reveals YouTubers that I wish to see be taken down by my command! Most of them are the gaming community, just a heads up."

The list was insanely long, and each of the names contained some sort of extra name beside it. From the looks of it, it seemed that Anon wanted to take these Tubers and...change their names? The first 4 caught everyone's eyes.

List of Dumbasses - 2016

1. VenturianTale → Jimmy Casket

2. JackSepticEye → AntiSepticEye

3. Markiplier → Darkiplier, Yandereplier, Authorplier, Googleplier

4. Pewdiepie → Lucius-pie

Anon: "Let's see here, ah! VenturianTale, the first channel on my list! To keep this simple, I'll make a demonstration and start off with the first four names, to warm us all up. If this is a success, we continue this tradition every October!"

He pulls up a video of some brunette man wearing a blue hoodie, screaming like a girl at some stupid animatronic animal jumpscare.

Anon: "Now then, here's out first Tuber, Venturian, aka Jordan Frye, a American guy who is known for playing Gmod and has 2.43 million subscribers. Even though that's not a large number compared to other channels, it still eludes me how a man in his 20s spends his time playing stupid mods with his retarded siblings. Yes, this isn't a solo channel, he has 3 other siblings who are equally guilty of this cringeworthy dungheep."

Random Occult Member 4: "No wonder they only have less than 3 million subscribers..."

Anon: "However, there is something that caught my attention from them during my studies...on their Gmod murder series, Venturian has created an original character named 'Jimmy Casket', a crazed murderer who happens to have some sort of personality disorder. It's a long, boring story as to why that is, but the point is...whenever Jordan plays as Jimmy, it seems to be one of the few times he goes insane and turns into someone else...someone dangerous...someone...evil.."

Random Occult Member 2: "Interesting..."

Anon: "Now, onto our next Tuber..."

Not even 3 seconds into the next video, and several of the Tubers covered their ears in pain from obnoxious singing and shouting. Luckily, Anon came prepared as he grabbed powerful earmuffs during his searching.

Anon: "Is the ear bleeding done?"

Everyone: "TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"

Anon: "With pleasure..."

Anon took off his earmuffs and paused the video. From the screen, and the audio, this Tuber is European man with bright green hair and a VERY loud personality.

Anon: "Our next Tuber is JackSepticEye, aka Sean McLoughlin, an Irish gamer with 12.36 million subscribers. I have no idea how the hell he's able to scream and shout for more than 20 minutes without a sore throat, but that is a gift he should never have been born with. This man is irritating, and he seems to overreact to every little fucking thing he plays! And he's friends with an eyeball that's LITERALLY septic! He's FRIENDS with a toxic fucking eyeball!"

Random Occult Member 2: "Greaaaaat, as if this man wasn't unlikable enough, now he's a gross slob..."

Anon: "...Riiight...now then, despite his annoyance, he also has a darker side to him that, this time, was created by his fanbase. Since his YouTuber name implies that he's all septic, it only makes sense that his dark side implies that he's antiseptic, and it's quite an irony. Recently, some of Jack's videos are giving canon appearances of this alter ego, and it helps give one a glimpse of what his true design looks like..."

Lucifer: "Ooh, now THAT is something I would KILL to see!"

Anon: "...Okaaaaay then...Next up is the pure definition of a manchild. Do not be fooled from his appearance."

The next Tuber who was on screen was an Asian-looking guy with an extremely American accent, red dyed hair, square glasses, and a skin tight shirt, playing some horror game about a rabbit.

Anon: "This here is Markiplier, aka Mark Fischbach, and this is another American Tuber here, with 14.55 million subscribers."

Random Occult Member 3: "Ooh, this guy has quite the bod..."

Anon: "Hey, remember what I said earlier? This person may look handsome on the outside, but inside, he's a scaredy-cat and...a bit of a crybaby...He's also really stupid."

Anon fast-forwarded the video, and the man screamed loudly and flew backwards in his seat, with his jaw dropped to the floor.

Anon: "See what I mean? Oh, and this guy seems to have a weird thing for boxes, considering he's friends with one."

Anon then clicks on another video with the man playing with some sort of small box creature with a big baby face and cartoony hands, and they're making stupid noises and faces.

Lucifer: "How in the hell did he even-?"

Anon: "It's best not to ask right now. Besides, I didn't get to the real meat here. Mark is unique, because he has not one alter ego, but FOUR!"

All Members: "FOUR?!"

Anon went into his photo album and pulled up a collage for 4 characters that looked eerily similar to the manchild.

Anon: "You heard me right, 4 alternate egos! The main one, and the most iconic, is his dark side named...Darkiplier...I know, hilarious. This ego has an interesting history. He originally started off as Mark trying to be "scary" to his audience, and this soon turned to a whole new persona. The last time Dark was seen canonically on-screen was a video named "relax", but I've been hearing rumors about the new appearance of Dark; it consisted something of him being all black-and-white, in a formal suit, and 3D effects..."

Lucifer: "Wouldn't that be cool to see?"

Anon: "Ha, tell me about it. Now then, the next persona is known as 'Googleplier', and this one is pretty recent. From Matthias' video 'Google IRL', Googleplier is a real-life Google machine who can answer any question, along with having an obsession with destroying mankind...to be honest, this one is my most favorite. Unfortunately, Googleplier has a retarded weakness against too many questions."

Nobody said a word, but they all seemed to have some sort of prediction that Anon is, in some way, similar to Googleplier's personality.

Anon: "Third one has a bit of 'style', if style meant a weeb who wants to kill everyone for their lover. This is 'Yandereplier', but I'm calling him Yandere Mark for short. For those who don't speak weeb, a yandere is a character in anime who acts nice but kills peers behind their love interest's back. Yandere Mark actually started once Mark started playing an indie game called 'Yandere Simulator'. Basically, the game is shit, and the developer seems like an asshole. But this persona has definitely intrigued me. To have a fake persona to hide your true identity from the one you love? Seems like the perfect ego to hide crimes."

From the weird smile/grimace on Anon's face, the group was wondering if Anon has dealt with a "yandere" before.

Anon: "Last persona is a lesser known one, but holds great promise. Meet Authorplier! Honestly, he doesn't have an official name besides 'The Author', but I'll be calling him Author Mark for now. This persona was created back in 2013 in a mini-series called 'Danger in Fiction'. Honestly, most of the videos consist of stupid, immature potty humor, but the parts that I find to be BRILLIANT is the character's appearance and his power to write stories to torture his victims. See, with Author Mark, he has a special book that plans out the victim's fate, and he wants the victim to follow it, or else he'll end them faster with his bat."

Lucifer: "Now THAT one is my favorite!"

Anon: "And FINALLY, the last YouTuber on this list is..."

Anon quickly went back to his YouTube app and typed away, and everyone was anticipating for who was the last Tuber.

Anon: "PewDiePie, aka Felix Kjellberg! Not only is this guy the biggest gaming YouTuber, he is the biggest YouTuber of all time, having 48.17 MILLION subscribers!"

Random Occult Member 1: "48 million?!"

Random Occult Member 2: "He could have his own country with this many people!"

Lucifer: "This guy must be rich for playing games all day!"

Anon: "HOWEVER! I must point out that Felix does not play as many games as he used to in his hay day. Still though, he is no exception...the fact that this annoying Swedish man can entertain or cause controversy for stupid games or unlogical statements is beyond me. If there's one thing I cannot stand about him, it's his enormous ego, acting like he's a mighty god. He kind of reminds me another YouTuber, I think his name was Joke Pole, but he's not a gamer."

Random Occult Member 3: "What's Felix's alter ego?"

Anon: "Ooh, now this is a tricky one...see, Felix doesn't have an official persona like the others, especially since none of them have a canon appearance or voice. However, one I did choose is similar to Yandere Mark and Jimmy Casket, where this one is based off a game that Felix played named 'Lucius'. See, 'Lucius' was a game he played back in 2012, and it's about a boy with the powers of Satan; his main objective is to kill his family members without causing suspicion. For a while, people loved Felix playing as this demon-writhing kid, and he seemed to take on the personality quite well, although he had a strange obsession with a beach ball."

Leader: "I see..."

Anon: "And that's everything I wanted to say! I only have these personas, but these people have a SHIT ton of more personas than I could count, a lot of them were fucking stupid. I only chose the ones that caught my eye, which were coincidentally the popular ones."

Lucifer: "The power of shitty fanbases..."

Anon: "And this is only the start...once I make these personas a reality with a special recipe I have made, they will cause havoc, ruin the reputations of these YouTubers once and for all! These are only with 4, imagine what it would be like with every other YouTuber gamer, or YouTubers in general, big and small, destroying the platform and taking down Internet entertainment with it!"

Everyone gasped and stared in awe as Anon caught his breath from all his speaking.

Anon: "So...am I in?"

[mollyxxprewett-blog]

a different kind of war: an au.

The students of Hogwarts had their normal days planned. They either paid attention or ignored their classes, hung out with friends, tortured each other, got into trouble -- the norm for a Hogwarts student.

There was already a black cloud hanging over the school; the impending war of blood purity. So when the sky went grey, everyone stopped to look. There was a fear that you-know-who was finally taking over.

Instead, they heard music begin to emerge from the clouds.

Young hearts, out our minds Runnin' till we outta time Wild childs, lookin' good  Livin' hard just like we should Don't care whose watching when we tearing it up That magic that we got nobody can touch Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

Kesha had infiltrated Hogwarts.

No matter what they did, they heard her songs in their heads; songs she wrote and songs she sang. Each student heard a different song. As some students stood near one another, they heard the same song.

Why was this happening? Was this the beginning of the end?With songs running through their heads, no one could figure it out.

Molly & Arthur: Finding You

I know forever don't exist But after this life, I'll find you in the next So when I say "forever, " it's the goddamn truth I'll keep finding, finding you

Ellie & Florence: Hymn

Even the stars and the moon don't shine quite like we do Dreamers searchin' for the truth Go on, read about us in the news Pretty reckless, pretty wild Talking shit and we'll just smile Don't you see these fuckin' crowns?

Emma & Evan: Cannibal

I want your liver on a platter Use your finger to stir my tea And for dessert I'll suck your teeth Be too sweet and you'll be a gonner Yeah, I'll pull a Jeffrey Dahmer

Frank & Alice: Animal

So if it's just tonight The animal inside Let it live and die This is our last chance Give me your hand 'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light The night is fading Heart is racing Now just come love me like we're gonna die

James & Narcissa: This Love

Even if I leave you now and it breaks my heart Even if I'm not around, I won't cave in I can't give up on this love You've become a piece of me It makes me sick to even think Of mornings, waking up alone Searching for you in my sheet Don't fade away

Bellatrix & Emmeline: Supernatural

Come, take me in the night I feel it in my blood, want the darker side Baby when we touch, look me in my eyes Poison me with love, I'll bring you back to life

Alecto & Amycus: Dancing With the Devil

You and I made a deal I was young and shit got real Weaving through Heaven and back Your love is made of dirty gold But I'm the one who sold my soul So go ahead and take my hand

Regulus & Peter: True Colors

Something tells me, I know nothing at all We've escaped our capture Yet we have our masters And somehow it's like I've waited All my life, one page at a time I'll show you my, my true colors No, no no no I won't apologize for the fire in my eyes Let me show you my, my true colors, it ain't no rainbow

Pandora & Xenophilius: Good Old Days

I'm in love alright with my crazy beautiful life With the parties, the disasters With my friends all pretty and plastered Yeah, I guess we're doin' alright We're fallin' in love Till the sun's comin' up Just livin' the life Every single night we fight to get a little high on life To get a little something right, something real, at least we try

Carlita & Greta: Boots

If you can't handle these claws, you don't get this kitty Baby, pick me up, spin me 'round, take me on a ride Pull you by the belt, recognize that you're mine tonight Baby, pick me up, spin me 'round, take me on a ride Pull you by the belt, recognize that you're mine tonight I'm walking on air, kickin' my blues Everything stops When I'm wearing, when I'm wearing, baby, nothing but your boots

Rabastan & Lucius: Warrior

We're the ones who flirt with disaster, On your ass we'll pounce like a panther. Cut the bullshit out with a dagger, With a dagger, with a dagger. Do or die we all gonna stay young, Shoot the lights out like a machine gun. Think it's time for a revolution, Revolution, revolution.

Amycus & Rodolphus: Boy Like You

I know you know I'm wrapped around your finger You're so Beautiful and dangerous Hot and cold Don't you see the light, boy I could blow your mind, boy Let me be your new toy I do what I want And I get what I want When I want it

Adrian: Party at a Rich Dude’s House

Swimming pool, limousine, come on let's do it Come on let's cause a scene, come on let's do it Cigar in the caviar, come on let's do it Now, come on let's do it, we're gonna do it, now Come on let's do it, we're gonna do this

Andromeda: Bastards

Been underestimated my entire life I know people gonna talk shit and darling, that's fine But they won't break my spirit, I won't let 'em win I'll just keep on living, keep on living The way I wanna live Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no Don't let the assholes wear you out Don't let the mean girls take the crown Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round Don't let the bastards take you down

Atticus: Spaceship

I'm waiting for my spaceship to come back to me It's coming back for me I don't really care if you believe it's coming back for me, yeah I been living in a lonesome galaxy But in my dreams, I see them come ’n rescue me Look up in the sky and there they’ll be I bet you'll think of me then You’re gonna say, "Ooh, look at that, oh yeah, yeah" Damn, if it ain't true They're coming back for me, they're coming back for me, yeah

Bellatrix: What Baby Wants

But you don't really understand She feeds on flesh and blood and boys like you She gonna make you be a man She'll take your bleeding heart and your soul no regrets Baby tells lies baby looks you in the eyes It's her aphrodisiac when she stabs you in the back She comes on like a saint but that's exactly what she ain't Not a damsel in distress she's the devil in a dress

Ellie: Woman

I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, alright I don't need a man to be holding me too tight I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, that's right I'm just having fun with my ladies here tonight I'm a motherfucker

Glenda: Till the World Ends

I can’t take it Take it Take no more C’mon get my on the floor DJ what you waitin’ for? If you feel it Let it happen Keep on dancing till the world ends

Greer: Timber

Swing your partner round and round End of the night, it's going down One more shot, another round End of the night, it's going down Swing your partner round and round End of the night, it's going down One more shot, another round End of the night, it's going downIt's going down, I'm yelling timber You better move, you better dance Let's make a night, you won't remember I'll be the one, you won't forget

Holly: Rainbow

I used to live in the darkness Dress in black, act so heartless, but now I see that colors are everything Got kaleidoscopes in my hairdo Got back the stars in my eyes, too, yeah now I see the magic inside of me I’ve found a rainbow, rainbow, baby Trust me, I know, life is scary But just put those colors on, girl Come and play along with me tonight

James: Tik Tok

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy Grab my glasses, I'm out the door; I'm gonna hit this city Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back Tonight, I'm-a fight Till we see the sunlight Tick-tock on the clock But the party don't stop, no

Kingsley: All That Matters

It’s raining gold, been up all night There’s no excuses, we kiss the sky Don’t wanna come down, don’t wanna come down Is anyone out there? Baby, all that matters Is a beautiful life

Lily: Pink Champagne

We don't need no guest list, everybody's invited I'm saying, "Even if you can't get in, we'll dance outside it" We're gonna make this bubble We'll carbonate some trouble  When the line gets flat, gotta take it back to another level Lemme hear you say, ooh Can't keep it bottled up Lemme hear you say, ooh Can't keep it bottled up

Lucius: Blow

We're pretty and sick We're young and we're bored It's time to lose your mind And let the crazy out This place's about to Tonight we're taking names 'Cause we don't mess around

Lucretia: Crazy Kids

Hello, wherever you are Are you dancing on the dance floor or drinking by the bar? Tonight we do it big, and shine like stars We don't give a fuck cause that's just who we are And we are, we are we are, we are we are The crazy kids, them crazy, them crazy kids And we are, we are we are, we are we are The crazy kids, we are the We are the crazy people

Marlene: C’mon

Feeling like I'm a high schooler Sipping on a warm wine cooler Hot 'cause the party don't stop I'm in a crop top Like I'm working at hooters We been keeping it PG But I wanna get a little frisky Come gimme some of that yum like a lollipop Let me set you free

Mary: Praying

I'm proud of who I am No more monsters, I can breathe again And you said that I was done Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come 'Cause I can make it on my own And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain When I'm finished, they won't even know your name You brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

Molly: Boogie Feet

All right Some people, they got the big brains They make all the computer games Some people, they look so sexy Pop and fizzle like a Pepsi Some people, they got the money Drive around in Lamborghinis I don't need any of those things I just wanna dance like a motherfucker

Mundungus: Princess (Customized)

Yo critter crew! (say what) Make Princess Dungus look fine! Add a little pinch of magic from my fairytale life I'm gettin' ready so damn pumped up Even with this wedgie ridin' up my butt Thanks to Mr Crow, you sneaky little fuck! I'm getting customized, customized, customized right

Remus: Learn to Let Go

Been a prisoner of the past Had a bitterness when I looked back Was telling everyone it's not that bad 'Til all my shit hit the fan I think it's time to practice what I preach Exorcise the demons inside me Whoa, gotta learn to let it go The past can't haunt me if I don't let it Live and learn and never forget it Whoa, gotta learn to let it go

Rodolphus: Hunt You Down

I've never hurt nobody, never buried a body Never killed no one, no, no I ain't afraid to get a little crazy Baby, when I'm in love You say you've had your fun And that you're done and I'm the one Just know that if you fuck around Boy, I'll hunt you down

Severus: Hungover

Even my dirty laundry Everything just smells like you, like you And now my head is throbbing Every song is out of tune just like you In the dark I can't fight it 'til it disappears But in the daylight I taste you in my tears Now the party's over and everybody's gone I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong And now my heart is broken like the bottles on the floor Does it really matter or am I just hungover you?

Sirius: Let ‘em Talk

You, you got your own opinions But baby, I don't even need to hear 'em It used to hurt me, used to bring me down Do your worst, 'cause nothing's gonna stop me now Don't let those losers take your magic, baby, yeah

[nevillelongsbottom]

fred weasley’s house of horrors (?): a birthday fic for @charlotteweasley​ <3 happy birthday from your fave uncle! (i hope)

His head hurts; in fact, his everything hurts, from the throbbing ache in his head to the whining groan of the joints in his toes, and when he stretches out, it’s just brilliant: he can hear the popping that comes with the satisfied relief of movement, and though it doesn’t help his head or his growing backache, it’s something.

It takes Fred effort to peel his eyes open, but when he does, he’s rewarded: the room he’s in is historical and elegant, with a domed and painted ceiling and pillars and mahogany furniture; he himself is spread out on a dark green four-poster, wearing matching velvet pajamas that certainly aren’t his.

It’s a long time before he manages to convince and synchronise his body parts to get him to sit up, but he’s annoyingly stubborn and manages it in the end: just gas he does, he hears the slam of a front door and jangle of keys.

“Hello?” he croaks; it comes out like Lee’s prepubescent voice cracks, but with added scratchiness to force a few coughs. Someone walks up the stairs, tentatively, with careful pauses, as if they’re afraid; and the door creaks open, slowly.

“You’re awake?” Draco asks gently.

“I am now,” Fred coughs; Draco disappears for a moment, returning with a glass of water. “Thanks,” he chokes before downing it, too fast, coughing it up in a splutter of liquid. “Ah, crap, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Draco says, taking a seat on the end of Fred’s bed, looking uncomfortable.

“Okay,” Fred says slowly, trying to pace himself (which is quite an endeavour). “So, the question that’s on everyone’s lips: how did I get here? And where is here?”

“My family’s country house. You fell out of the sky, and I found you, so I took you here.”

Fred nods absently. “Huh. Sounds… about right.” He glances down at himself. “Do you still have my actual clothes?”

“The blood stains haven’t quite come out, but I do,” Draco replies; with an effortless snap of his fingers, a slightly unfriendly-looking house elf appears. “Bring Fred his clothes.”

The house-elf blinks. “Master Draco, I haven’t been able - shamefully - to remove the stains…”

“It doesn’t matter.” The house-elf nods, disapparating only to return a few moments later with a pile of Fred’s folded clothes: despite the darkening stains on his collar and sleeves, it’s probably the cleanest his casual clothes have been in a while. “I’ll give you your privacy; you’re also welcome to leave here at any time, considering your feelings about me.”

Fred quirks an eyebrow, possibly one of the few things that distinguishes him from George (a two-eyebrow-raising shmuck). “Don’t think I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon, mate.”

“You can leave when you can, then.” Draco gets up, crossing the room in too-quick strides and hastily shutting the door behind him; the house-elf leaves with him, emptying the room save for Fred.

It, as ever, takes him what feels like a small eternity through which a bird has chipped through a marble wall to change his top, and despite the visual clash, he leaves his own trousers folded on the floor to attempt to put on another time; he’s now wearing a Mr Happy T-shirt with his velvet pajama bottoms like he’s just been ejected from the decade prior, and he rubs his crusty eyes, pulling himself to his feet and trying his best not to collapse on his wobbly legs (which, of course, he does).

“Goddammit,” he mutters, wishing for George.

-

It takes him about a day to explore his room, shuffling like a penguin, and the next few to explore the rest of the country house: it’s, of course, terrifically grand, with an extensive library that spans several rooms and an elegant and well-stocked kitchen from which the house-elf Nacht (Fred nicknames him Nacho immediately) makes Fred’s hearty thrice-daily meals and twice-daily snacks, bringing them up to him before he’s well enough to make it to the kitchen and never showing any signs of anger when Fred’s body forcefully ejects some of the bigger meals.

“Hey, Nacho,” he says over lunch one day; he’s managed a bath and is wearing some clothes Draco brought on a brief and impersonal visit: a black T-shirt and black jeans that don’t quite match his sunny socks. “Why do the Malfoys have this house?”

“To store their library,” Nacht replies stiffly.

“Here in the countryside, they may read and study in peace - though they scarcely use it, save for Master Draco’s frequent visits.”

“I can see that. The dust bunnies are reproducing like real ones,” Fred cackles. “Do you think Draco would mind if I lightened it up a bit?”

“He very much would.”

And that settles it: as he recovers, Fred takes to dusting - he doesn’t like cleaning much, but he can hardly conduct his wonderful plans in a dump, and Nacht happily sets to work helping him, often providing more of the hard labour than Fred can. “I feel like a bloody nanny,” Fred laughs halfway up a cast-steady ladder, spelling out the bugs and spiders, reminded of gutting Grimmauld Place; he’s half-terrified dealing with the Boggarts, but just on the day when he’s ready to get it over and done with, Draco arrives.

“Why are you cleaning?” he asks dumbly.

“Because your house is dirty and I’m bored?” Fred shrugs. “By the way, does George know I’m alive?”

“He does. I sent him an anonymous owl, but nothing more since I figured that your family would just blame me for your injuries if I attached my name to them.” He sets a plastic bag down on the table by the door. “I brought more food for you, but I’m here to use the library, so leave it be.”

Fred grins. “Sure, Your Majesty.”

Draco snorts. “Glad to see you’re back to your usual self, Weasley. I was worried when I saw you cleaning.”

“Dead or alive,” Fred says, “I’ll be cracking jokes.”

-

The basement of the “Edgar Allan Poe summer house” quickly becomes Fred’s favourite part of it: it’s awash with treasures, from Draco’s kicking baby photos to a dusty old record player with twelve inches from Celestina Warbeck to Elvis Presley; he finds some of Narcissa and Lucius’s Hogwarts achievements in the form of congratulatory parchment and gifted textbooks, and passes them over to Nacht, who cleans them as if they’re first edition Bibles.

“Did Mr Weasley get any achievements in Hogwarts?” he asks, almost smug in the knowledge that Fred, who makes immature jokes out of the library’s Latin titles, most certainly has not.

“If leaving in style is an achievement, then with distinction,” he says proudly. Nacht says nothing to this, clearly deciding there’s nothing worth saying; Fred grins, sifting through the old box of records, past every single record The Beatles have ever released and suddenly into the dark chalk of Sonic Youth’s Confusion Is Sex. “Hey, Nacho; whose records are these?”

“Lady Andromeda Tonks used to stay here often with Lady Malfoy,” Nacht replies. “These must be her daughter’s.”

“Tonks? So these would be Dora Tonks’s? Wicked.”

The next time Draco comes around, Fred’s halfway to better: he’s in his Mr Happy T-shirt and black jeans and in the middle of baking himself chocolate cupcakes that he hopes will stay down (he’s been able to eat just fine, but if he goes a little over the usual, he brings it back up). He sucks some of the mix off his fingers and offers a spoon to Draco.

“Don’t the Muggles say something about getting ill from raw eggs?” he sniffs.

“Who gives a shit? It tastes great.”

Draco looks at it warily, but takes the spoon and carefully licks at the cake batter; instantly enamoured and hesistances forgotten, he devours the rest. “Hm; it is good. I take it your skills are from your mother?”

“Why?”

“She seems the type of person that would bake cupcakes.”

Fred laughs. “She is - and I’m not, that’s always been Charlie’s thing, really - but since she’s not here, I’m doing it. Give it something like twenty minutes and they’ll be ready.”

“Is the catch that you’ve either put or will put poison in them?”

“What do you take me for, a Slytherin?” Fred pulls a face of offence. “No, no. The prank here is that I’m going to buy some seventies wallpaper and funk this house up and rearrange your library so you can’t find anything. Don’t you guys have enough Gothic houses? Wasn’t living in a dungeon for seven years enough for you?”

“Absolutely not; I insist on spending the rest of my life in a basement,” Draco says dryly. “But fine. Get me a shopping list, and do what you want. I bloody hate this house, anyway.”

Fred grins. “Got a pen?”

Draco snorts. “Fucking as if.”

-

Most of Fred’s decorations end up coming amassed from flea markets and Camden (as do more clothes; he’s only just made it out of the ‘excessive sweating’ phase of feeling ill, and his tops still emit a horrible stench if he gets too close to the armpits); they come from the plain London signs to a taxidermy Kneazle being sold as a dog, and Draco manages to buy all sorts of cringe-worthy warm-coloured wallpapers for Fred to use, as well as a series of lamps from possibly as many decades as lamps have been invented.

“What is Mr Weasley’s plan for this?” Nacht asks strictly as Fred raises both his wand and hand to the wall, covering it in orange and brown blobs. “Ruining the perfectly good architecture of the house.”

“We’re wizards, Nacho; we can set it back if someone throws a hissy fit,” Fred shrugs. “But come on; how are you meant to be happy living in this dismal old place? I’m just trying to brighten it up. How’s anyone meant to recover from falling out of the sky when this place looks so sad?”

“You seem to have done just fine yourself,” Nacht points out. Fred shrugs.

“Yeah, cus of my bright temperament. Not everyone’s as happy and witty as me, ‘cept maybe Lee Jordan or a Hufflepuff.” He sets the record player on the table in the library with a satisfying thud!, pulling one of Draco’s more interesting Camden finds out of its sleeve and setting it on the turntable, pressing the needle to the record and letting loose the beginning of Weird Al Yankovic’s Ricky.

“Hey, Ricky, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Ricky…” He grabs a chunk of books from the shelf, glancing through them; all Latin, of course. “Merlin’s balls, Nacho, you know what I should do?”

The house-elf sighs. “I do not.”

“Arrange them in size order!” Fred says gleefully. “Because then, nobody can find what they’re looking for, because the order is pretty much nonsensical, right?”

“Whatever you say, Mr Weasley. As long as you enjoy yourself and recover, for Master Draco’s pleasure.”

Fred rubs his hands together. “His, or mine?”

-

Fred’s last day is mostly one of lighting up the house: he’s made an artistic arrangement of the lamps all in the second room of the library, hung up the framed Bowie portrait Draco brought back, found a home for the stuffed Kneazle on top of a room-length sloping bookcase, figured out a system to hang the record sleeves on the walls for whole-house browsing, and he just adds the last licks of yellow paint that snake round a burgundy pillar by hand with a brush.

“What does Draco actually do in here, Nacho?” he asks, flicking his wrist up to create a splatter effect that doesn’t quite work and ends up a little ungainly in the same way that Fred is so stocky that his body seems to confuse itself regularly and attempt to recalibrate, which just disorients him.

“He uses it to get away from his own home, in order to study and read,” Nacht says matter-of-factly before lowering his voice, “and to avoid seeing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named too often.”

“I’d avoid him, too,” Fred says in a surprisingly sober moment, his voice poignant before he bursts back into a thousand megawatts and quips, “it’s the nose, isn’t it? So creepy.”

“The nose?” Nacht frowns.

“Yeah, Harry says he’s got no nose, like a snake. Bloody Slytherins, isn’t it?” He steps down from the pillar, humming along to the record player and to Primal Scream’s Come Together, turning as he hears the familiar noise of the front door opening into what is now a time capsule slash matrix.

“Bloody hell, Weasley,” Draco whistles.

“It’s so ugly, I don’t even know where to begin.”

Fred beams. “I’ll tour you.”

Draco stutters. “Merlin, no. Please let me uncover its hidden atrocities in my own time. It will be… an experience.” He pauses. “So, this means you’re leaving, doesn’t it?”

“I’m flying the coop,” Fred shrugs. “Or, as it were: going home. George’ll start thinking I was just an elaborate hoax before long.”

“Do come back,” Draco implores; Fred pauses, startled.

“Only if I can annoy you and Nacho.”

Draco runs a hand through his hair. “Yes, well, your entire existence irritates me to my core; so please come back, I would be thrilled to have to deal with your eccentric company.” Pausing, he rummages through his pocket, producing a packaging Fred knows all too well: a Ton-Tongue Toffee. “Toffee, Weasley?”

“Maybe another time, Malfoy, thanks. And so long.”

Draco just about shits himself an hour later when the clock strikes and a hidden cuckoo clock bursts through the wall; but then he just has to laugh, because despite his illness, despite smashing into the ground and being detached from his unit, the whole house is still unmistakably his: Fred Weasley’s House of Horrors (or, to the open mind, Amusements).

[dreamydrarry]

You’ve read Harry’s POV, and you might have read versions of Draco’s POV, but let’s talk about Narcissa Malfoy’s POV

ft. @alinaisalright! (keep reading for dark headcanons below):

Narcissa Malfoy, who -- up until now -- believed that her family’s pure blood and loyalty to the Dark Lord guaranteed immunity. 

Narcissa Malfoy, who’s heart stops beating and lungs start to fail when she hears the news of the Dark Lord wanting to mark her son.

Draco. the light of her life. her baby boy. the only reason she was truly agreeing to all of this crime. offering vacancy in her home to outsiders. assuring his safety above all else.

the monster wanted to permanently brand her son.

he wanted to use Draco, turning her pure child into a murderer.

but what could she do?

she could refuse. she could scream and spit fire over the mere act of her husband even thinking about agreeing to the idea. she could demand the Dark Lord and all of his goons leave the premises of her home for even bringing the plan to light....

and she could be murdered on the spot for it. in front of her boy. scarring him for life while also snatching the last bit of his safety away with a single flash of her inevitable death by killing curse.

or she could silently leave the room after watching Lucius avoid her pleading eyes, refusing to jeopardize his spot as right-hand-man.

because if this was Draco’s fate -- if there was truly no convincing otherwise -- then she’d refused to standby and watch.

and she’d dread every single click of her heels as she’d dizzily make her way down the spotless marble floor of the hall towards her safe spot.

and she’d allow the tears to escape her eyes, just this once, as she’d close the door to her library, sinking to the floor.

and she’d cover her mouth as she hears the sounds of her own crying.

and she’d flinch at the sounds of her son’s screams of pain.

and she’d squeeze her eyes shut tight, begging the universe to let her take his place instead.

and she’d bite down on her lip, hoping that the pinch would wake her up.

and she’d need her arms to catch herself after she nearly topples over, hearing her son’s begging voice as he decides to change his mind.

and she’d know it’s much too late to turn back now.

and she’d hate herself for all of it.

Narcissa Malfoy, who is kept up at night, restless with a plan in mind.

Narcissa Malfoy, unaware if there was anyone else she could possibly trust, thinking about paying her old friend a visit.

Narcissa Malfoy Black, asking a favor of her dearest older sister, knowing that since she played the part in keeping a roof over her sister’s head after her escape from Azkaban, Bellatrix owed her at least one in return.

Narcissa Malfoy, slightly shaking as she made her way to Severus Snape’s front door with her sister, hoping that her plan would work.

Narcissa Malfoy, unaware of which side Severus’ loyalty truly leans toward.

Narcissa Malfoy, putting her last bit of hope for safety into an unbreakable vow with her son’s godfather.

because surely Severus wouldn’t be willing to die rather than keeping her son safe and out of harm’s way, right?

Narcissa Malfoy’s heart leaping to her throat as she turns away from the Dark Lord -- who’s just re-opened his eyes -- and sees the lifeless-looking heap of a body a few feet away.

no.

it can’t end this way.

Severus had just been killed; her bond for Draco’s safety no longer intact.

Harry Potter was secretly her last and only hope.

in fact, her mind ran wild with the realization that she wasn’t even sure if her boy was still even around to protect.

the lump in her throat threatened to suffocate her as all of her usual cautiousness for punishment disappeared.

Narcissa Malfoy, quickly and calmly crossing the forest floor towards the one last person who could possibly be her son’s hero. as well as her own.

“The boy!” Narcissa heard her sister call out behind her as Bella finally pulled her head out of the Dark Lord’s rear end. “Is he dead?”

Narcissa Malfoy, coming to a stop and standing above Harry’s limp body, completely terrified.

because if by some miracle the boy did survive Voldemort’s killing curse, it would mean that this was her chance to ask the question she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to.

Narcissa Malfoy, with terrible thoughts swarming around in her mind.

if she couldn’t face her son’s death in Boggart form, how could she possibly be brave enough to face the real thing?

would she have the strength to live on and plan a funeral for who was once the only light of her life?

would there even be a body to bury?

Narcissa Malfoy, blinking back tears as she slowly sank down to Harry’s level.

Narcissa Malfoy, nearly leaping to her feet when she feels the feint pump of a heart beat from Harry’s pulse, but containing her composure nonetheless.

Narcissa Malfoy, closing her eyes for a long blink as she inhales deeply and leans forward to Harry’s ear.

“Is he alive?” she asks quickly and quietly. “Draco. Is he alive?” 

at first, she was certain she was about to get the worst news of her life, due to the long pause between both her and the boy.

but then, with the tiniest nod from the boy below her, Narcissa felt her fears flush away with one quick exhale of relief.

Narcissa Malfoy, returning back to her feet and straightening her posture.

Narcissa Malfoy, turning and staring the Dark Lord in the face as she lies, “Dead.”

Narcissa Malfoy, staring across the destroyed court yard, watching her son’s face turn sickly and teary-eyed as Voldemort announces the death of Harry Potter.

Narcissa Malfoy, standing behind the Dark Lord as he gives one last invitation for anyone who fought “foolishly” alongside Dumbledore to cross over and join the “winning” side. or face the consequences.

Narcissa Malfoy, watching the man she loved -- the man she married -- the father of her child -- step forward to prod Draco to join them.

Narcissa Malfoy, trying as hard as she possibly can to make eye contact with her son, internally screaming, “NO! STAY! STAY THERE, DRACO!”

Narcissa Malfoy, watching as her son’s head whips around to the sound of Harry falling out of Hagrid’s arms.

Narcissa Malfoy, instantly recognizing the look of her son’s face as his eyes light up, realizing that Harry is in fact alive.

Narcissa Malfoy, instinctively reaching out to grab Lucius’ arm for support as Draco breaks into a run, yelling, “POTTER!” and tossing the other boy his only weapon for defense.

on one hand, Narcissa’s insides light up like the sun as she watches the scene between the two of them.

on the other hand, the rays of sun within her start to burn as she realizes that her son is now completely defenseless immediately after going against the Dark Lord.

but of course Harry Potter becomes the hero.

of course he saves her son’s life, along with everyone else’s.

and of course the man who had been ruining their lives...

was finally dead.

Narcissa Malfoy, finally feeling like she could breathe again.

Narcissa Malfoy, doing the opposite of earlier and calling out to her son to “come” instead of stay.

Narcissa Malofy, taking her son home where she knows he’ll finally be safe.

Narcissa Malfoy, listening quietly and being extremely patient as Draco sits down with her to explain his involvement with Harry Potter.

Narcissa Malfoy, closing her eyes as she notices the obvious fear of unacceptance in her son’s eyes.

Narcissa Malfoy, thinking back to the moment she saw Draco’s eyes light up when he realized the boy had lived.

she hadn’t seen his eyes light up like that in years.

oh, how she’d missed that light...

Narcissa Malfoy, smiling as she opens her eyes, truthfully and honestly happy for her son.

Draco Malfoy, staring back, mouth agape as she approves.

Narcissa Malfoy, letting Draco know that if there was one person who she’d trust to love and protect her son in times where she couldn’t, it would be Harry Potter. the boy who already had.

(okay so @alinaisalright and i wrote these back and forth in the Drarry group chat - link in my bio if you’d like to join - and we were told to put it all together and post it, so here i am, doing that. also tagging a few others who were up to witness it all: @ferret-face @parselmouthingoff @miniemcgee & the rest of the #gwbgc)