#I am fucking cringey…..but I am free

[cxffeeshxp]

~ Had a random urge to go back to look up MLP grimdark fanfic to listen to on Youtube, something I used to do quite a bit like two or three years ago only to find there is a continuation to one I really loved, An Apple Sleep Experiment, and an Anniversary fanfic for one of the biggest mlp grimdark fanfics, Rainbow Factory.

I might be back in, lol.

[the-kipsabian]

i should be writing and instead i just spent a good while reading through some of my old lynn fics cause someones been leaving kudos on them on ao3 and now i miss her and sami so much good lord

[ioniansunsets]

i loved your heartsteel!kayn scenarios! can you possibly do a scenario of fem!reader helping heartsteel!kayn dye his hair :3

✖ Heartsteel!Kayn Getting His Hair Dyed by Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 900

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: He has his default skin braid here. Stay tuned for more. I MISS THIS FUCKER'S BRAID OK. Also you are his long term partner! I thought it would be cute if you have been supporting him though all his ups and downs uwu

----

" For reals, you've done this before right. Don't fuck it up I swear to god I will cry I'm dealing with enough shit right now babe." " You're the one that asked me to do this for you, have some trust in me."

You comb through his braid and neatly section if off one last time before slapping on the DIY at home bleach. After getting kicked out of his old band Kayn wanted a full makeover, so with five boxes of bleach and some whining he convinced you to help him bleach and dye his hair. You stood awkwardly behind him as you comb in the bleach. Kayn wasn't wearing a shirt, so that he wouldn't ruin any tees. So it was quite a sight, hair down, topless, you pause for a bit and stare. After some thinking you sigh, you were going to miss his blue and black hair...it was so soft too...

" Hey I heard that sigh! You know I HAVE to do this...I want to change my image, show them I'm better without them!"

Kayn pouts, you see it in the mirror and laugh. Slapping on more bleach, sectioning it out and complaining once again bout how the long hair sticks to the gloves and makes it all messy. But ok, you work hard, with a roll of aluminum foil ready you neatly bleach his long hair. As you wait for the first bleaching to set in you throw a little of the leftovers on your hair too, just enough for one strip.

" Should we match colors?"

You see Kayn visibly perk up as he hears your suggestion.

" Really? I think that will be cute. Like a cringey couple."

He smirks, leaning back to take a good look at you in the toilet mirror. He starts laughing loudly.

" Wait are you copying me or making fun of me! Why bleach that same chunk of hair as the old me!"

The two of you chat for a bit as you wait for the bleach to set in, when times up you help him wash it all off in the tub. Damn his hair was really such a dark black, it was just brown now. You comment about it needed a few more rounds of bleach. Kayn sighs this time instead, exhausted already but his rockstar image was at stake, he wanted to look cool so he had to do this. He had a goal already, an ombre fade of pink and purple, it would be so cool. Sitting back down, you blow dry his hair and start on round two.

And round three. Orange.

And four. Yellow.

And five before the yellow finally lifts enough! You were finally free from seeing that yellow, orange hue! And-

Oh no. You look at a handful of hair in your hands from where you combed through his hair.

" Kayn I am so sorry..." " No! I cannot deal with this right now please. Y/N Tell me its fine." " I'll fix it!"

You too were unsure how to react, were you going to cry or laugh. After five bleaches, his hair kinda...fried off. Ah...you were REALLY going to miss his long hair. Promising to fix it, you grab some hair scissors and did your best. With Kayn doing everything to hold himself together while you save what you can and work out a messy cut. It actually looked really good. You tell him to look up as you blow dry his hair yet again. Promising it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Kayn tentatively pulls his hands away from his face as he looks at himself in the mirror. A smile slowly creeping across his face.

" Oh shit you really did fix it? The hell Y/N! Let's dye it right now! I still want that pink purple thing going down!"

He tilts his head left and right, trying to get a better look at it, an idol worthy style. Kayn nods, happy with what you've done with it. Quickly you work the colors onto his hair and yours. Laughing together as he admires himself in the mirror. Half an hour passes and you wash his hair and dry it off for the last time. Kayn himself also helping to wash the and dry your hair. You smile as the two of you admire your reflections.

" Is it me or are we looking super hot?"

He snakes and arm around your waist, pulling you close. Giving your cheek a quick kiss.

" I actually like this a lot I'm glad it worked out. Thank you Y/N."

Kayn gives you a warm smile as he runs his hands through his hair, giving it a little shake as it falls gracefully along his jawline. He turns his attention back to the mirror before he shouts.

" Oh shit yeah! Let me snap a photo!"

Kayn leaves the room for a bit, grabbing his phone and a nice shirt to snap a photo in. He returns, hand draped around your shoulder as he takes a mirror selfie with you both. The largest smile plastered on his face as he sits down and edits it to use as his new wallpaper. You would mourn his pretty braid but...he was still your charming boyfriend you could live with the new style. The short hair was starting to grow on your after all.

[bokutosmochi]

EDITS ♡ MIYA ATSUMU

miya atsumu x gn!reader

ingredients? free publicity for the team plus you, his darling partner being petty? you can bet that atsumu miya's in!

what's it? mostly humor, but also some fluff

allergen warning/s? a suggestive moment, a fluffy moment

sugar level? 3.1k

regulars? N/A but taglist is open! comment, send an ask, or a dm to join

parlor's note? i'd like to start this by saying i have nothing against the type of people i am going to be mentioning in this fic. i am one of those people. i just thought the gist of this fic would be a nice fun time.

inspired by me watching nishida during the vnl, watching edits, and of course, the sweetest anon.

bon appetit

the window's open, the curtains pulled apart, letting the ohasuhigashi breeze chill in your bedroom.

where the wind touched atsumu's hair, it danced like the most pristine gold silk.

the muscles in his back rippled as he moved, and as it rippled, it sang a siren's song calling out for you to touch it, for you to graze gentle fingertips along the smooth planes of it and kiss the moles you've kissed so many times before.

his bicep, looking as though molded by the gods, flexed as he stretched one arm across his shoulder, repeating the movement for the other arm. the lighting did it favors, highlighting the contours of it, the very same ones atsumu worked so hard on achieving. sufice to say, his time busying himself at the gym paid off.

and his thighs, his muscular thighs, the subject of so many thirst tweets he hilariously had to read out for buzzfeed as a part of msby's promotional stunt for their upcoming bout with ejp raijin.

oh, the way his head grew after that video. for the next few days, gone was the cute, whiny atsumu you called your boyfriend. you wished he gave you the opportunity to say farewell before cocky, borderline cringey boyfriend atsumu made his appearance. you can't really say you minded it that much though. as his loving, supportive partner, you knew how much time and effort he gave in order to gain quads like that, so it was nice to see it pay off, for people to acknowledge his hard work. and besides-

"hey, baby" his raspy morning voice unfortunately interrupted your ogling. as quick as lightning, your eyes moved from travelling down his bare godlike body to meeting his eyes through the mirror. he didn't look away.

-it wasn't like you didn't help with stroking his ego every now and again.

fuck, it was so hard not to do so, though. especially during times like these where he's standing in between the bed you laid in and the vanity. self assured about his looks as ever, he licked his lips, maintaining eye contact with you as he leaned over the desk, his hands carrying his weight on those fucking biceps flexing with effort, and winked.

whether he heard the tiny whimper that left your mouth, you'll never know, but at the very least, you know he didn't see how your thighs, covered by a thick warm blanket, rubbed against each other as a result of his ways.

as stated prior, not singing his praises is easier said than done.

"you enjoying the view, baby?"

"very much so." was your answer, but it was accompanied by you rolling your eyes at his antics.

"always knew you had great taste," he sighed, turning around and plopping into your bed, specifically, plopping right on top of you, kicking the offensive (for him because how dare it be between the two of you) blanket right off of you. he was careful, though, so the action is more reminiscent of a weighted blanket being on top of you rather than an olympic athletic crushing your body under his.

spellbound by the man you called your boyfriend, you couldn't help but run your fingers through his hair, marvelling at how soft they feel. the action made him vibrate out a faint hum. "knew it," he started, "'ya can't resist me." sadly, all you could do is roll your eyes.

it was true and the both of you knew it.

"das why you have yer little tiktok of me," he giggled like a school girl when bringing up the tiktok account you have that's dedicated to the setter who currently has his arms wrapped around your figure and snuggling into your chest like a content cat. or perhaps a content fox would be more appropriate for him.

you've always been a fan of fancams, video edits, whatever they're called. after all, what's not to like? they feature a character or person you admire, showing their best moments, and on top of that, there's neat music accompanying the clips. plus, they're short and sweet.

but it wasn't until you started watching atsumu play when you first thought of making said edits yourself.

he was magnetic on the court, possessing the ability to cast a spell on anyone he wished; his teammates, the opposing team, the audience, you. even an amateur would be able to point out how much of an asset he is to the team. and those abilities translate to him and his gorgeous, picture-perfect plays.

so after his game with the adlers, you concocted a list of your favorite atsumu plays which were the clips you used to make your very first edit: the first clip? a few second video from a game during his high school days. it was one against karasuno high school and he just executed a flawless overhand set that was not under normal circumstances. because of the previous plays, he had to squat down really low to do it, an undersand set would have sufficed, but ever the thoughtful setter, he did what was best for his spikers. then that clip transitioned to a more recent one of him doing a similar set, a set for his newest spiker (at the time) hinata.

what followed were the following clips: him running a hand through his sweaty hair, a confident smile on his lips, one of his famous service aces, him preparing to receive kageyama's serve, a bead of sweat running down the side of his face making him grab his jersey to wipe the perspiration off, a spike that blew through ushijima's block, him celebrating a win with his tongue lolled out of his mouth, and finally, his setter dump that got them a win in the fourth set during their olympic game with argentina.

add all those together, along with the song that went i saw her and she hit me like tadow as a cherry on top, then bam! you have yourself a viral edit.

you never would have expected it, but everyone gushed about your little creation. not only did it explode on tiktok, it exploded out of the app too, all the way to twitter, reddit, and instagram. you couldn't be more proud of yourself for such a magnificent first try, and atsumu couldn't be prouder of... himself. "ah please, 'ya never would have been able 'tah make it if i wasn't such a good player." he reasoned with you. it wasn't a total loss on your part, though. he gave you a kiss on the forehead as thanks for your hard work and free publicity.

you received many comments saying they forgot how hot volleyball players are and claiming they'll start watching again, much to your amusement.

"'ya know, i'm kind of surprised ya don't wanna keep me all to yerself," he mumbled, eyes closed, and at this point, half asleep; the reason why the setter missed you raising an eyebrow at him.

"all of the clips i use are stuff people can easily find, tsumu. it's not like i'm slutting you out for the whole world to see."

"mmmm, yer audience says otherwise..."

"about the clips being easy to find or me slutting you out?"

"bouf'" he yawned. "but if ya insist, i guess ya aren't doing 'tha. maybe i'm just that damn irresistible that yer putting regular stuff in and i already have 'tha girlies goin' crazy. and maybe the clips are easy to find." he referenced all the times you complained to him because of the amount of people asking you where each and every piece of your edit was taken from. "if yer as obssessed with me as you are, 'tha is."

you jokingly pushed him off of you, surprisingly moving him an inch or two. "i can be not obssessed if you, miya, if you prefer that. oikawa toru and tobio-chan are out there, y'know?"

that was a low blow and you knew it. "don't 'ya even dare." he reached to carefully pinch your nose. "'nd what's up with you and tobio??? why's he tobio-chan to you??" the whine in his tone was adorable, so much so it made you laugh. "nothing, 'tsumu. just playing with you." you squeezed his cheeks. "why? you jealous?"

"why 'tha hell would i ever be jealous of him? he ain't the best setter in the world, and he ain't the one with the prettiest, smartest, supportivest, meanest partner in the world."

"supportivest isn't a word."

"i hope 'ya were able to pick up meanest."

there was a little pause in the room, a moment where all that's heard was your sychronized breathing before atsumu opened his mouth to talk again.

"seriously though, angel. i don't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. not all of us have partners as supportive as you are." he gazed up at you with honeyed eyes, fingers tracing over your face, your features, your jawline, your cheeks.

"'tsumu, you know i'd move heaven and earth for you."

"'ya come to all of my games when yer job lets ya, if i ask ya about a play i made, ya always remember in what game i did it. and sometimes when it's a play ya really liked, ya even remember what set it happened."

"you're an amazing player, 'tsumu. i'd do anything to help you play at your full potential."

".... even slutting me out to the world wild web as free advertising," his tone became sarcastically thoughtful. "does 'tha seriously not bother 'ya?"

"no, you've never given me a reason to be worried or insecure about our relationship. they can have all that content as long as i can have you," you weren't done talking yet but you hear atsumu murmur an always at your words. "and besides, your sweetest, sexiest moments are ones only i can see..." atsumu's hand went under your shirt to trail his fingers on your bare skin as your brain trailed elsewhere, an idea sparking itself to life.

"oh my god," you said excitedly, not at all the noise he was expecting you to make. despite the goosebumps raising on your skin and dull ache between your thighs, you continued to squeal at him. "i thought of another edit to make."

amusement painted itself on his lips because of the way you were so giddy, because of the way you pried his hands off of you to shake it with happiness. he found himself being happy too, even though he doesn't have a clue what exactly it is you thought of. he was going to change that though, "so, aren't 'ya gonna let me in this little idea of yers?"

"okay so, you know how people who keep asking me where i found edit clips over and over again annoy me a teeny tiny bit?"

"yeah" yeah, as in, yeah he still has no idea where you're going with this.

"what if i made an edit where one of the clips is just a video i take of you here, like, in our private life, a clip they won't find on youtube or tiktok or volleyball tv or something?" you knew he would be on board with the idea. after all, the two of you wouldn't be together for such a long time if you weren't on similar wavelengths, but it's reassuring to hear atsumu's guffaw all the same.

he took your face in his large hands and kissed you on the lips, complete with an obnoxious smack! when he pulled away. "oh my, yer an evil genius, baby. dunno how this'll help with yer problem 'bout all the comments, but i beg ya ta do it."

and with that, you were formulating your plan.

without a shadow of a doubt, the edits that did the best on your account were thirst edits. the ones that focused more on the physical appeal of your boyfriend rather than his skills, and being petty, you wanted this particular edit of yours to do very well so it was decided it was going to be a thirst edit. gathering the clips available to the public was easy enough. you have several playlists on youtube filled with atsumu videos, curated depending on the type of edit that you were going for.

atsumu sad :(

atsumu cute :3

atsumu's greatest plays vol 1

atsumu's greatest plays vol 2

atsumu's greatest plays vol 3

were the playlists you scrolled through until you found the one you're looking for.

atsumu being hawt 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 (and yes, he was the one to name that playlist. you thought eleven of those emojis was excessive while he thought it was perfect because "c'mon angelface, eleven's ma jersey number! eleven of those lil thirsty emojis should be a given!")

you landed on the videos considered your favorites as well as videos at the end of the playlist because that's where the ones you haven't used for edits yet was located.

in the end, you ended up with nine clips which you got from youtube, and twenty photos from pinterest (atsumu's public instagram is surprisingly tasteful because of the team's pr team. his private one however is another story) in addition to that, you also already have an audio to use in mind; goodies by ciara, a song you've heard on tiktok that went sexy, independent, down to spend it type that's gettin' his dough, i'm not being too dramatic, that's the way I gotta have it.

now, the only thing that's left is that one clip that has to have the audience wondering where the hell you got it from.

your ever-supportive boyfriend helped you brainstorm since he loved the idea as much as you did, and you guys ended up with a few good ideas;

him wiping sweat off of himself bare chested ("angellll," he whined. "you know damn well i can make it look hot.") with his jersey or a fluffy white towel.

him fixing his hair.

him doing bicep curls while shirtless (while his team does post workout videos of themselves, they're always fully clothed). the next idea being this, but he does push ups instead.

and lastly, a shot of him performing kabedon on the person behind the camera (it'll be a pov shot so the person watching knows what it would look like if the atsumu miya performed kabedon on them).

although some, such as him fresh out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist or him getting on top of you (similar to the kabedon idea. you were to be filming him getting on top of you so people watching would know what it would look like if he got on top of them), or him getting on his knees in front of you (again, similar to prior idea and kabedon idea) had to be scraped because it would cause trouble for him backstage and you didn't quite want it to go that far.

in the end, you chose option number four: him doing push ups while shirtless, and with that, he got to his workout of the day (thankfully it's off season for volleyball so he didn't have much going for today, only exercising, checking emails, and a few hours of practice which were to take place later in the afternoon) while you got to filming.

atsumu gave up the comfiest couch in your living room for you while you edited the video, and ever the sweetheart, cooked you your favorite meal, checking emails at the same time. he knew the result of the sacrifices (he really loves that comfy couch and is thinking of buying another one so you don't have to play rock, paper, scissors for it every time) he was making was going to be worth it.

and it was.

"damn, angel. you made me look hotter than i already am." he praised your work clearly in shock, earning him a kiss to his jaw from you.

"oh baby, yer gonna have them eating off of the palm of yer pretty hands."

after that, you immediately posted it on tiktok with the caption this man cannot actually exist, i'm in love which was a nod to the fact that one of the clips you added in does not actually exist on the internet.

as you expected, it was a hit with your followers. within a minute, your phone was going crazy with notifications. the first few ones were only from people who didn't make edits (and people who you assumed were just casual atsumu fans since they felt no need to ask you about that clip) as they only complimented your work.

Gojo's Left Middle Finger Fingernail: my favorite used to be ushijima, but you're making an atsumu miya believer out of me

KENTOLUVVER: .. i know damn well kageyama's a better setter, but atsumuuuuu

(you didn't agree with this)

kyugisakiiz: this edit served as good as atsumu's serve 😌

minedaikiao: that's my future husband right there

(you don't really agree with this one either)

rickyyy: bro atsumu is soo fine

flower power bowser: girl, imagine an atsumu edit to honeypie. i would lose my mind

but soon after that, the fans you affectionately call certified atsumu girlies (fans who would ask you where a clip is from because they're interested in that video, not in an editor perspective) and the editors came pouring in.

msby filmzzz: ummmm, atsumu's push upsss??? hello?????? where is that from

hearts for tsumu: i can't believe in my two years of editing for atsumu, there's still a vid out there i haven't watched yet

atsumu's #1 girl: girl, i'm gonna need you to do me a favor and tell me where that push up clip is from

4TSUMUM1Y4: can you please send me the link to the fourth clip? can't seem to find it

in which case atsumu, not to be outdone in pettiness, came up with an idea of his own, copy and pasting a link to rick astley's never gonna give you up as a reply to the queries.

i get: reblog

you get: a copy of this edit

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 12th

Medical Play, Papa Emeritus III x Reader

Masterlist

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Medical play; GN!Reader; dom!Reader?; cringey Terzo; subby!Terzo; established relationship; latex kink?; glove kink; hand job; mild praise; anal fingering; taunting; mild degradation; mild humiliation; power kink; mild edging; cum eating; cumswap; reads like an 80s porno; awful medical terminology, I'm sorry to all the doctors and nurses reading this lmao;

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals

🔞 MDNI 🔞

The graveyard shift was always the worst - or rather, the slowest. As most of the Siblings were asleep in the dead of the night, you had free roam of the medical centre of the Ministry. Not that there was ever much to see given that it was hardly decorated and filled to the brim with medicine and multiple medical journals, all of which you’d perused on your off or slow hours.

Thankfully, your job was always made easier by the fact that no one in the Ministry was stupid enough to get themselves into a lot of trouble. Even during the day, the worst injury you’d seen was someone’s ritual or blood play wounds get infected, but thankfully it was easy enough to sort out. It was the most difficult thing, becoming a doctor and going through university - even getting a job within the Ministry itself was a difficult task. The job itself though - paid to read books mostly.

Though, it was different that night. Your socked feet were up on your desk and a book was in your lap. You were, of course, reading what your friends liked to call your “dirty girl books”, when there was a gentle knock at the door. “Come in!” You called. Immediately you brought your feet off the desk and put your bookmark in the book, hiding it from the view of your guest. You still didn’t want to appear unprofessional, even though there was no one around… well, almost no one.

The door opened to reveal a smaller man, black hair and wrinkles. You recognised him instantly. “Good morning, Papa.” You said, standing to your feet out of respect.

“Ah, hello, doctor. I hope I am not disturbing you while you are busy?” Terzo stood there in the doorway uncharacteristically awkward in his demeanour and make up chipping from his face. He looked tired.

You looked at the clock: four o’clock. It was so early. “I always have time for you, Papa. How can I help you?”

“Ah, it is a little embarrassing, doctor.”

“Whatever it is I’m here to help, judgment-free.”

This was the moment you’d been waiting for. The thing is - you weren’t Terzo’s personal physician. Given the nature of their job and the importance of their status, each of the Papas had their own personal physicians at their beck and call all times of the day and night. You weren’t part of that club, rather, dealing with the rest of the Ministry including the Ghouls and the Clergy. You may not have been Terzo’s physician, but you were his partner… so to speak. This whole arrangement had been set up and pre-decided weeks ago, and when he had time, he’d drop in to see you with some “medical emergency” and you would be the doctor to “treat him”. You would pretend not to know each other which was the most crucial part of the whole scene. So now you were just waiting for Terzo to say his next line, not that you knew what his next line was.

“Well you see, I am an old man. And my, how do you say? My dick is broken.”

This fucking guy.

“Okay, in what way?”

“It doesn’t stand for very long. It grows tired very quickly, like me. Or my fratello.”

Please don’t compare your penis to your brothers.

“R-right.” You blinked at him a few times, not quite expecting him to be so forthcoming with his “issue” - or even quite so chaotic. “Please come and take a seat on the bench for me.” He did as you instructed. “Would you mind unbuttoning your shirt, Papa?”

“Ah, doctor, that is the other thing. My fingers are tired today, too. I am afraid they can’t unbutton anything.”

Of course they can’t.

He looked at you and gave you the biggest shit-eating grin, clearly eating up his role. Despite knowing Terzo as intimately as you did for a number of years, he still managed to find ways to fluster you.

You moved forward, trying your best not to smile and keep it “professional”, but the excitement within him was simply radiating off of him and infecting you. He was, for lack of a better term, buzzing with it. Your fingers carefully began to unbutton his white shirt and avoiding his gaze, but you could feel it on you. His mischievous eyes studying you and your expression so intently you were sure it would leave a mark.

Once his incredibly hairy chest was completely exposed to you, you took the stethoscope from around your neck and set yourself up to use it. “This may be a little cold.” You warned before placing the bell over his heart. Of course, this wasn’t a real check up, so it didn’t matter what you heard. In fact, you were only doing this for his benefit because you knew he’d want it.

“Can you hear that, doctor?” He asked.

“There’s nothing unusual.”

“But my heart, you should hear that it beats only for you.”

This. Fucking. Guy.

It took everything in you not to blush or react to his words in any way. “Okay, I think we should do a few tests just to make sure everything’s okay. Would you mind removing your pants, Papa?”

You took a step back and allowed Terzo to stand from the bench and do as you’d asked. You looked away to feign privacy, despite the fact that you’d been up close and personal with that part of his body for a long while. But out the corner of your eye, you noticed that the little shit had decided to forgo underwear. How you were surprised was a mystery unto itself.

“You know, doctor, usually I buy ladies dinner before I let them undress me in their offices.” He teased.

“Usually ladies don’t examine you for erectile dysfunction.” You taunted back. “Are you ready, Papa?”

“Of course, doctor. I await your professional opinion.” He plonked himself back up on the bed and leant back confidently, completely exposing himself to you. He was enjoying this game a little too much for your liking. You began prepping your hands, first sanitizing them then putting latex gloves on to keep up appearances. When you moved back over to him, you noticed that his mismatched eyes were heavily trained on you, only moving when you did and fixating on your gloved hands. Time to bullshit your way through this. “To make sure you can maintain a healthy erection, we need to give you one first. Is this normally something you have a problem with?”

“Not at all. Usually my partner is able to get me up just by looking at me.”

You nodded. “So you won’t need any help from me today, then?”

“On the contrary, doctor. My partner is not here, and so I am having trouble. Please take care of me.”

He gave you the best doe eyes he could muster knowing that it would work on you because it usually did. And so, you nodded, and poured some of the office’s lubricant onto your hand. “This will be cold.” You warned him.

As soon as your lubed hand made contact he hissed and jumped, perhaps making more of a show of it than he ought to. Your hand began to work away at his flaccid length, which was filling up with blood a lot quicker than you anticipated. With each tight stroke of your hand, Terzo’s hips bucked slightly. He wasn’t quite ready or sensitive enough for it to feel mind-numbingly good, but the little breaths and whimpers he was releasing was proof enough that it was working. One of his own gloved hands came up to your arm and gripped onto it, trying to keep himself grounded. The other hand grasped onto the bench with as much force as he could.

You tightened your grip and began focusing entirely on the head of his cock, making sure he was feeling as much pleasure as possible. The feeling of the lubed latex on his head had his mind reeling. His eyes were tightly shut, his bottom lip had been taken into his mouth and trapped between his teeth. He was trying so hard to keep up the pretense but he was obviously feeling good. You decided to be a bitch. “Tell me, Papa, what do you usually do to keep the erection?”

“What?” He asked, opening his eyes and coming to his senses.

“Well, this is a new problem, isn’t it? What usually works? What usually feels good?”

Terzo, whom you had never seen so flustered before, gulped and took in a sharp inhale before continuing. “M-my partner usually uses their mouth.”

“Where?”

“What?”

“Where does their mouth go?”

“M-my cock and sometimes my a-asshole.”

You moved your other hand to his taint and then to the rim of his hole. “Here?”

“Yes! Merda! There!”

Then, all of a sudden, you removed all of your hands and took a step back. “You seem to be healthy, Papa. I think maybe you’re just stressed.”

His eyes were wide and he couldn’t quite believe you’d done that. “What?”

“Lack of sleep can also be a cause of dysfunction. Do you get enough sleep?”

“Yes. Doctor, I- I am confused.”

“What with?”

“Well, I… you… stopped.”

“Of course, Papa. You needed help maintaining an erection, we’ve since discovered that you don’t struggle with that regularly, and you’re certainly not now.”

“You can’t just leave me like this.” He gestured to his now angrily erect cock before muttering something in Italian, clearly irritated by you.

“Maybe if you were to ask nicely, I might help you out.”

Terzo hesitated for a second, clearly wanting to say something but not wanting to either be so desperate that he begs for it, but also being to embarrassed to say anything. He was perhaps the filthiest person you knew, never shy or bashful, but apparently when his partner had the upper hand he was a total mess.

“Per favore.”

“Not good enough. Try again.”

“Will you… help me out?”

“Sure, what with?”

“Porca puttana! Make me cum… please, Doctor.”

He almost forgot himself.

You stood and sauntered back over to him applying more lube to your gloved hand as you passed that shelf. “Good boy.” You told him with a teasing smile, wrapping his cock back up in your hand and continuing exactly where you left off. “Nothing wrong with you now, is there? You’re keeping it up well enough, aren’t you?”

The same hand that was gripping onto the bed had moved up onto your shoulder, a gorilla grip on it. His eyes were open but focused on the wall, glazed over a little in the sheer pleasure your hand was providing. Your other hand went straight back to the rim and began rubbing over it again. His noises got louder when you did, hips having a mind of their own. The position wasn’t great so you got him to sit back, keeping him width-ways on the bench with his cheeks on the edge and his feet propped up and legs spread. You cursed your boss for giving you the wrong chair to use for today, what you would have killed to use the gynecology chair with the stirrups. It would have humiliated him so much to be so exposed. He would have loved it. Though he looked like such a whore in this position, you thought perhaps this was more humiliating.

With more lube on your hands, one went back to his head, and the other started pushing inside his hole. His mouth dropped open in a perfect ‘O’ and his brow furrowed, the pleasure almost overwhelming him. “We do have to make sure all parts of you are working correctly, hm? Especially this nice little button in here.”

“Cazzo!”

Only your pinkie was inside him at the moment. You didn’t want to hurt him and as he hadn’t pre-stretched himself out, you thought it was best to take your time. You wiggled it around a little, trying to make his hole fit two of your better, and kept at it until he was lose enough. Eventually, your index and middle fingers were able to fit inside him, and so you went in search of that button you mentioned. “Touch your cock for me.” You instructed. Like the obedient whore he was today, he did as you asked, wrapping his own hand around the head and moving quickly. “Ah-ah.” You scolded. “Slow down.”

“But-”

“Slow!”

His hand gradually put the breaks on, dropping to an almost torturous level. You could see how much it pained him. Given the fluttering of his hole around your two fingers, you could tell he was already too close. He was too overwhelmed. He needed that sweet release that you were refusing to give him. Why? Why wouldn’t you just make him cum? Why would you drag it out as much as you did? He couldn’t fathom it. But he was so desperate to finish he couldn’t ask you to stop.

This was a completely different man in front of you. The head of the Satanic Church was riding your fingers in your office as if he didn’t hold all of the power. Because right now he didn’t. You did. In his desperate need to cum, he was obeying your orders down to the letter. He was whining and writhing for you and only you. No one else got to see him like this: his entire body on fire and chasing a release he’d practically been begging for since he entered the medical ward, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth where it had opened so wide, and loud moans were spilling out with it. His pants completely removed and his white shirt unbuttoned completely. He was positively sinful right now - a proper Babylonian whore giving himself to another for his own pleasure. And oh how he sang for you when you reached that spot. How he stopped breathing when you finally hit it. How expletives poured from his lips to cope with the devastating bliss your fingers were giving him. Choruses of “yes!” and “right there!” and “don’t stop!” providing him comfort while you had your way with him. His own hand matched yours and as you got faster, so did he. He was so close. He could almost taste the sweet release that was on its way to him.

It was when your hands came up to play with his balls he finally tipped over the edge. Cum spurted from his cock and pooled over his hairy stomach, and even reaching up his chest in the intensity of the orgasm he was experiencing. His toes curled and his body seized up. You were, the whole time, talking him through it. “That’s it,” you told him, “give it all to me, Papa. Give me everything. Such a good boy.”

When you were sure he was fine, you gently removed yourself from inside him and bent forward, your tongue running through his spend and lapping it up into your mouth, keeping it there. You looked up at him and saw his eyes were ablaze with something. More lust? Frustration that you were doing something so sexy and he was too tired to do anything about it? You weren’t entirely sure. But the moan he released when you kissed him, swapping his cum from your mouth to his was enough to tell you all was forgiven… at least for now.

Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

[iniyaas]

I genuinely don't understand what Ness is expecting of Kaiser anymore?

See, Kaiser is actually praising(?) Ness here:

He is warning Rin that he is gonna get bitten by Yoichi and the stray dog- Ness. which yes, Rin did overlook Ness gaining on him and does lose the ball.

And yet, Ness' reaction is: "What do you think of my press, Kaiser?!"

Whereas Kaiser never said that his presses or passes were bad or anything? In fact, I am pretty sure he has been watching Ness' moves; cuz he noticed Ness pressing in before Rin or Isagi. all he said was that they won't maintain their one-to-one coordination anymore.

Leaving 'find your new master' and all the edgy teenager talk aside, the so-called "Kainess breakup" boils down to this, right? Kaiser wants to open up his options and include the other players into his play style--which is not necessarily a bad thing? Soccer is, yes, a team sport; how are they going to play a team sport with just two people? In fact, won't Ness, being a midfielder, have more scope for performance too, if he passes to others, not just Kaiser? idk.

Okay, but what is super funny to me in this whole "breakup" is: Kaiser really thought he took in a dog, made him his pet, but now he has abandoned him on the streets again -> Status Updated: my dog is a stray dog again/ UP for sale lmao

poor Ness is so in the habit of being patted and praised "Good boy, Ness" after every pass or smth; so he goes to Kaiser for the same but gets this:

Find a new master who'd pat (squeeze? crush?) his head and go Good Boy, Ness! I am sad for you, Ness--but I guess I can't relate to being so obedient to someone your age?? Love is one thing, admiration is another; but this is ??? what exactly?? obsession maybe? praise kink?

adding: this post by @/riririnnnn [I wonder if Ness is still going to blame Isagi for everything.]

something else I am curious about, and don't understand is this:

See, Ness is super happy for Kaiser getting an offer from Re Al!

When Kaiser was cartoon-villain-monologuing about Isagi (so cringey it was reidiculous, Kaiser what the fuck was that), Ness got frustrated that Kaiser is looking at someone else, not him??

And yet, if Kaiser does accept Re Al offer and leaves for that club, Ness will be left behind alone at Basmun? if Kaiser leaves for Re Al, he will obviously form new partnerships there, and never look back at Ness anymore? So, where does that leave Ness? Is he not thinking that far, or does he believe Re Al will extend the offer to him as well? They have Sae already-the best midfielder in U-20! Why would they take in Ness? this is not an extra buy-one-get-one-free package with Kaiser?!

What would Ness do if Kaiser actually left for Re Al?!!!

That's why I want Ness to stop searching for yet another master and live as a stray dog who is loyal to no one.

Of course, it'd be super difficuly to change his style after passing to one striker all along, but it's not too late. he can change if he tries, he has more than enough specs to do it.

After all, even on their first meeting, Kaiser commented:

[thelunarbar]

I hate Kate with every fiber of my being 🤮

I’m sorry would firing off a weapon at random in the middle of the not being the police?

Turns out I don’t remember this real well so that’s interesting

I appreciate that Chris is at least semi sensible even if he is actively trying to kill Derek and Scott

The cgi or whatever on Derek’s not normal bullet wound is so bad 😂

Oh yeah grabbing her hand and defensively yelling no is so subtle

Ooh caught in a lie. Shoulda got their story straight before Allison woke up. Tsk tsk

Scott knows nothing. Typical.

“Studying with Allison” yeah right

Dylan O’Brien has pretty eyes

I wanna punch Jackson

Derek (literally dying) goes totally unnoticed in a highschool are there no teachers or curious students??? Are they all that self involved???

Also Derek (still literally dying) gets jump scared by the bell love it

How did stiles not see Derek at some point while he was in the hallway?

And then Derek collapses in the parking and still no one notices him

“A silver bullet?”

“No you idiot.” Even dying Derek is not putting with stiles shit

Derek (literally dying) (going to help Scott even tho he has absolutely no reason to) needs Scott’s help

Scott grudgingly agrees to help the dying man what a saint

And then promptly gets distracted by Allison shocker

Ik Scott is like what 15 here but c’mon man someone is literally dying and counting on you to save him and all you can think about is getting in Allison’s pants

Oh good more cringey make outs. These are supposed to be teenagers I do not want to watch them make out 🤮

Am I old? I feel like that makes me sound like an old lady but it’s true

I love that somehow while still in town it looks like they’re almost to Derek’s house which is deep in the woods? Yes yes that tracks

“In fact I think if I wanted to I could drag your little werewolf ass out into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.”

“Start the car or I’m gonna rip your throat out with my teeth.” Yes threatening the guy trying to keep you alive is great.

Fuck Scott. Honestly. They’re are more important things in life than getting your dick wet

Archery how quirky

Ik it’s like a family thing but still

Cock block chris love it

Ooh awkward family dinner with the gfs family always fun sucker

Why do parent in tv shows offer teenagers alcohol as like a test??? So dumb

“Hockey on grass is called field hockey.” 😂

Poor stiles and poor Derek

“He’s starting to smell.”

“Like what?”

“Like death!”

Yeah let Derek die bc you’d rather not leave your gf. Can we say hero 🙄

Fortunately the bullet he’s looking just happens to be in a special box bc ofc and I get for plot reasons but still

Derek never loses his drama even when dying

I’m with stiles on the whole cutting off Derek’s arm

Love that this whole thing literally couldn’t not matter less to Scott 🙄

I read a couple great fics abt stiles actually cutting off Derek’s arm bc Scott was late that I still think about to this day. I reread them quite a bit

I hate Kate so fucking much even tho he did actually take smth from her

Allison whipping out that condom is probably her best moment ngl 😂

“You faint at the sight of blood?”

“No but I might at the sight of chopped off arm!”

I am so with stiles on this whole cutting off body parts thing

Derek’s Batman voice is really funny to me.

I get why the first idea is to stick your fingers through the grate but I’m pretty sure those things pop out at least generally speaking

Love that stiles punched Derek in the face. Pretty sure he nearly does it again later on in the show

Where did Derek get the lighter? Did he just have that on him? Also so did not wanna watch him stick his finger in his wound gross

Ah teenage stupidity. Gotta hate it.

Ohhhh we finally met Peter! I don’t like him for obvious reasons but later on he’s so sassy and it’s hard not to like him

Knowing what the argents did makes me hate Kate even more and love that Chris broke free of that.

Ofc Scott would defend the argents 🙄 again teenage stupidity

Poor Derek he deserved better

How was there still a lil shard of glass from Kate’s broken window on the edge of the car door??? That seems unlikely

I appreciate that Chris at least had some standards even they still sucked.

Kate throwing the match into the fireplace was sooooooo foreshadowing at the truth to be learned down the road and I do like that

[temporaryinterestsincorporated]

putting dungeon meshi thoughts here at least a little

it is really alarming to see people constantly lean into an interpretation of toshiro as "high masking autism" with it being "infantilizing" to defend laios' lack of picking up social cues as if that very struggle is not literally diagnostic criteria for autism

I'll try to write something more thoughtful some other time but it feels orientalist and bizarre to frame Toshiro's very in-line with Japanese cultural standards and expectations behaviors and motivations as autistic. It is also strange to make statements like "Laois is a grown man, he should've been able to pick up on it" and complaining it's infantilizing to recognize he is literally autistic.

I am not defending the cultural microaggressions he was committing against Toshiro in regards to his name, his appearance, clothing, etc. But the fight they had was very much centered over Falin and over Laios' overall autistic behaviors and traits (which yes, made Toshiro a specific kind of frustrated with the cultural oversteps).

and I absolutely agree that white autistic people should not have their autism be used as justification for racist behavior but it is both tokenizing and uncomfortable to see white people lean into that so hard they circle back to ableism and not understanding the actual line there or the experience either of autistic people of color?? making implications or statements about a japanese person who lives in japan and is making comments and pointing out certain cultural markers that are often brought up by autistic people in japan as confusing or hard to navigate???

and then justifying it with "toshiro is also autistic" or whatever else, that's so. a lot of the defenses I see of him are ALSO infantilizing or orientalist, how are you trying to defend him from racism by leaning into it and let's argue he was autistic okay?? being "high masking" doesn't give you free reign to react to "more cringey" (literally seen this) autistic people or "less masking" (???) autistic people like have yall forgotten what ableism IS have yall forgotten the targets of it?? are you fucking kidding me??

Toshiro is literally just a guy, Laois is literally just a guy, they are representing various things and have various flaws and various strengths. Also you could maybe fucking read some of her other work, including on social interactions.

[shsl-fujoshi]

Going Forward

Back in the livejournal days, I wrote a lot more posts that were long and involved, more thought out, and more personal.

I think all of us-- fandom and nerds and geeks specifically, but along with us everyone in the world-- I think we have been immeasurably harmed by corporate social media.

We have been harmed by conforming to an arbitrary word count, by the pressure to post short, “content” multiple times a day, for that content to be “relatable”, tepidly ‘family (advertiser) friendly’, and in the service of getting as much shallow ‘like/share/reblog’ attention to this “content” as possible. In service to our own egos, yes, but beyond that, in service to the desires of the vast, money hungry corporations who graciously allow us to provide free “content” for their vast, money hungry machines of social media.

We have been harmed, too, by the social pressures these corporate machines of mass communication create. The pressure not to be too cringey, too weird, too arrogant; the anti-intellectual pressure never to be “pretentious”.

Well fuck that my posts are not “content” and they are not created for the money hungry corporate machine, and they are not for it to drip feed to a mass audience like baby birds with their mother’s heavily digested pap.

My posts are weird, they are pretentious, and they are not fucking advertiser friendly.

They have contorted our minds to demand constant attention of the mass-communication money making machine they’ve created, and I don’t want to be part of it any more.

Back on Livejournal we were thrilled if a post made it to a few dozen comments.

And you know what? A few comments is leagues and lightyears better than hundreds of nothing-interactions. “Likes” and “reblogs”.

Shallow interaction for the machine to fill a few more milliseconds of scrolling for a few more people.

My posts are worth more than that.

YOUR posts are worth more than that.

I’m in the middle of a vast self-exodus to my own hosting-- as twitter is destroyed from within, and reddit eats itself, and AO3 is the victim of mass campaign of canibalization by fucking normies who are the front of useful idiots for conservative christians, and for terfs-- I am leaving.

Social media is a corpse on the ground, and we “””content creators””” are the soul of it. That soul will not die, we will simply all find new bodies to inhabit and infuse. 

But until that corpse is gone, I intend to be one damned annoying poltergeist for the scavengers to deal with while they rip apart the corpse of social media.

Fuck corporate interests. Fuck the money machine. Fuck the christian conservatives and the TERFs and everyone else who wants to hold you down and make you conform and lay still while they eat your corpse.

I’m pretentious. I’m long winded. And I’m not safe for advertisers.

Rattle those chains, baby. Rattle those chains.

appendix beneath the cut

related links:

Stop Talking to Each Other and Start Buying Things By Cat Valente

The Enshittification of TikTok by Cory Doctorow

Special note: X-Posted to my personal offsite blog

[fategoflatass]

My Winter 2024 Watchlist & Opinions

The feared time has come. After avoiding this post like the plague, I finally put myself to write my pretty unnecessary thoughts on this season that's departing next week or so.

Admittely, it wasn't that big of a deal, but that might be because the bigger titles will come out the following season? (Should I also make a post about that?)

Anyway, let's get started!

Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu 2nd Season

Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆☆

CW: cringey teenagers

Here, we one again get to follow our favorite middle school duo—the edgy boy and the gluttony in human form—as they grow up and find out just how complicated being a teen can be. Awkwardness, idiots and cutsie romance ensured!

This series is just so damn adorable, man! And awkward, holy fuck it can be awkward. But being a teenager is, in big part, going through the cringiest phases possible to cleanse the karma of a lifetime, so is that a bad quality or an amazing depiction of real life?

Anyway, my guys are back and I can't explain just how happy I am about it! I'm usually not that fond of school romances since, well, they tend to be too immature for what I'm currently looking for. This was made especially obvious since I began watching more and more series centered around adult characters.

But this series is quite different—they're immature, yes, but it's not as annoying as they tend to be. You know why? Because they found out about this thing called communication. Yes, they're not the greatests at it, but at least they're trying!

I've been thinking on checking the manga out, although I haven't decided yet. If anyone here has read it/is up to date, should I get into it or wait until next season comes out?

BUCCHIGIRI?!

Action, Supernatural // ☆☆

CW: big ammounts of cringe

Arajin Tomoshibi's reunion with his old pal Matakara Asamine takes an unexpected turn when they stumble into a brawl with the toughest guys in town. And just when you thought things couldn't get weirder, a colossal genie decides to drop in. Brace yourself for the ultimate showdown. It's the clash of the cool and the magical!

(Yes, I stole the summary from AniList. Couldn't bother to write something down for this one).

This series comes from Utsumi Hiroko—the same woman who worked on Free! and Banana Fish, the mind behind SK8; one of my biggest comfort shows. And honestly, it shows!

Because BUCCHIGIRI?! is an amalgamation of all her previous ones.

You have the childhood friend pair composed of the Gentle Giant™ (who's quite literally Makoto 2.0, personality and appareance wise) and a dude who has only one goal in life—for Haru, it was to swim free style. For Arajin, is to get laid. And no, I'm not kidding.

Then you get the delinquents (I refuse to call them gangs. They remind me too much to the Tokyo Revengers guys, and I despise that show) and their corresponding leaders—the fruity freak (who I love, ngl) with the obssesive, brocon little sister (who I despise, ngl), the big ass bitch whose age's unknown but seems too old to be hanging around teens, and later on we get a guy who reminds me a lot of Jamil from Twisted Wonderland only that he's utterly pathetic, a professional crybaby and, overall, unbearable—entirely different from my totally cool and more than respectable guy.

There's not much to say about the rest of the cast since they're forgettable to a fault, having little to not charisma. Expect for the skirt guy, he's neat.

When it comes to the supernatural side of things, ugh. The dude who follows Arajin around is exasperating and so cringey I tend to skip fowards when I know a joke—the joke, the only thing he knows besides fighting—is coming.

Speaking of which, the fight scenes are cool, MAPPA doing their best as always. I just wish they would beat up Arajin more often (and that he didn't have to scream his primal urges every time he's going for a punch).

And, for fuck's sake, don't get me started on Arajin. He's the worst protagonist this woman has ever come out with—zero charisma, a total asshole, a terrible friend, and a guy who'd make you want to die if he ever got a crush on you.

I'll cut it here since it's getting too long and I don't wanna get into spoiler territory (in case anyone cares about that), but yeah. I don't recommend, at all. Go watch her other shows instead.

Dungeon Meshi

Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy // ☆☆☆¾

CW: blood, death, violence

While exploring a dungeon, the adventurer Laios and his party are confronted by and lose against a red dragon—they're left without money, provisions and Laios' sister. But not everything is lost, since they can still save her while the creature digests its food. The problem is, they can't fight with an empty stomach!

The best show of the season, hands down. Not like it had much competition to begin with, but anyway.

When I first heard about the show's plot, I admit it, it didn't call me at all. But certain someone (*cough* @arataka-reigen *cough*) convinced me to give it a try. And here we are!

Honestly, I haven't had a laugh like this with an anime in so long! Not only because of the jokes, but the characters are perfectly designed for the viewer to laugh with and, most importantly, at them. I actually have the theory that they're the ones responsible for the BUCCHIGIRI?! cast's lack of charisma. I mean, they had to steal it from somewhere—is too much!

From what I know, more characters are yet to appear (I saw a catgirl and, as a cat lover, I just gotta see the catgirl) and the story gets darker with time (in case episode eleven wasn't enough hint for you).

I can't wait to see what this story has to offer next!

Gekai Elise

Comedy, Fantasy, Romance // ☆☆½

CW: tracheotomies without gloves

In seek of redemption, Takamoto Aoi becomes a doctor to help those who she would've either mistreated or ignored in her past life. Sadly, she gets involved in a plane crash and dies—only to wake up as her past self, ten years before her demise! She'll now look to become a surgeon once again, in the hopes of changing her fate.

If I had to describe it with one word, it would be meh.

The characters, the plot, the romance—it's all pretty average. A wet piece of cardboard is way more interesting than the entire cast and the story put together. The love story is whatever, not engaging enough to get me interested on their scenes.

What I would've liked is if they went on and changed the affections names for something more fantasy-ish or that has to do with the world in which they live in—I highly doubt these people knew about the existence of Dr. James Parkinson, so why would they name a disease after him? That sorta thing, you know?

But anyways, basic ass story with basic ass characters, and I'm a fool for having given it a chance.

And if I may ask, where the hell is the lamp?!

HIGH CARD Season 2

Action, Fantasy // ☆☆½

CW: cultural appropiation (?), blood, some violence

The High Card team keeps on fighting to mantain peace in the city, all meanwhile some of its members are still dealing with past consequences. But when new trouble surrounding the cards surges, they have to get to work to save the day once again!

Look, if the summary ain't shit is mainly because this show has me so uninspired. The only reason why I didn't steal it from AniList is because it doesn't have one.

In case anyone wonders why I'm still watching this show, same. I guess season one wasn't that bad for me to go and drop it, so I decided to give it a second chance. Do I regret it? Mmh, kinda.

To be honest, it's not entirely bad. I mean, it's certainly worst than its predecessor, but it had an interesting section that had me paying a little more attention than usual for like, two episodes or so. And then it lost me again.

The section I'm talking about is around episodes five to seven, where—and spoiling as little as I can—things get rather dramatic. It felt like a cry for help disguised as character growth that did nothing, absolutely nothing, to the characters themselves. They could've skipped those episodes and it would've been business as usual.

In the first two episodes we get introduced to his superhero-like guy who loves spitting random words in Spanish and, no, he's not even Hispanic. Then, he proceeded to not appear for the rest of the season. At least for now, we're currently in episode ten. But even if he were to appear once again, I don't think there's enough time to develop him or create a plot surrounding his cringey ass.

Also, and this might be petty as hell: they never explain why the cards look like the poker ones? I mean, they shared the lore behind them, yet that didn't explain this? How did they come out with the cards' and combination's names if they're supposed to not be poker related?

Hime-sama, "Goumon" no Jikan desu

Comedy, Fantasy // ☆☆¼

CW: none

Amidst the war between their kingdoms, the Princess is captured and imprisoned by the demons alongside her mythical sword and companion, Excalibur. It all seems grim for these two but, when the time comes around, the demons' torture methods seem a bit... gourmet?

I came into this show solely because of the trailer. What can I say? It looked nice. And to be honest, the entires series does.

These type of shows don't tend to be my cup of tea, but I thought it could turn out to be something similar to Maou-jou de Oyasumi—something that doesn't catch me at first, yet its second half leaves me wanting some more of those charismatic characters (Twilight my beloved).

The problem here is that God, it's repetitive. This series has one sole formula and will repeat it till the end of times, with barely some exceptions.

As LunarEquinox would put it, "it not her being tortured, it's you being tortured by repitition".

Kyuujitsu no Warumono-san

Comedy, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆½

CW: none

Planet Earth and its habitants are in danger; they've become the main target of an evil intergalactic organization who seeks to rule the world! The Rangers do everything in their power to defend the citizens from the General—but today's his day off.

Another fluffly, non plot-centric series. But this one I'm quite fond of.

I guess it's because I really like the «gap moe» concept? The difference between the protagonist's intimidating and powerful look at work and his casual, awkward and panda-obsessed self once he's home it's pretty adorable. It's like he goes from being a lion to one of those long ass domestic cats who'd let you hold him if close enough—only that I think he's supposed to be a lizard(?) of some sorts.

But it's not only him; you also get to see his coworkers with are all very formidable, and even the Rangers themselves. Red having no sense of orientation whatsoever is too relatable, I hate it here.

Not much to say, really. It's just a show about a long ass dude on a trenchcoat whose (most probably, undiagnosed) autism gets him to buy anything panda-related. If he were to become the ruler of the new world, I wouldn't oppose to it.

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimamana Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsu Suru

Fantasy, Romance // ☆☆☆¾

CW: violence, mentions of war

Rishe Irmgard Weitzner, a duke's daughter, has lived many lives—and it's not a saying. For the past few decades, she's been trapped in a timeloop where her engagement gets called off at age fifteen and, from then fowards, she's decided to go down different paths. A merchant, a doctor, a maid—whatever called her attention. Is in her seventh time she become subject of the affections of infamous crown prince, Arnold Hein—the very same man who'd killed her in one of her past lives as a knight. When he asks Rishe to become his wife, she decides to utilize her every skill to avoid the upcoming war.

This one's different from the others, in the sense that I wasn't there when the first episode premiered. I guess it hadn't caught my attention (and the way they colored the hairs looked so bad to me at times, and still does). But again, certain someone began posting about it and I couldn't help myself.

I found this series to be a tad more interesting than the average female public-centric fantasy series. They actually cared to build an appealing plot with its politics and all, while also giving us an attractive main couple whose chemistry is quite nice. I like it when the characters banter, they go back and forth a little bit, but still show feelings for each other—is entertaining, isn't it?

While it's not my favorite series from this season, I do find it highly recommendable—independently of whether you're already into this type of shows or you'd like to give them a try.

Majo to Yajuu

Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy // ☆☆

CW: violence, blood

A guy carrying a coffin alongside his companion appear in a town, searching for the witch who cursed her and fighting some others in the meantime.

I love dark fantasy stories, so when I stumbled upon this show it grabbed my attention almost immediately. The whole concept of wiches, curses and different types of magic has always been a concept I quite enjoy. When it's well done, that is.

What Majo to Yajuu brings to the table is an uninspired series that unapologetically grabs concepts from other stories similar in concept, and doesn't even try to do anything new with them. The magic system is has is so average and uninteresting, and the same happens with the different conflicts that surround the main plot.

And even when it is supposed to have a more mature tone, there are times where they spoon feed you basic information as if you were too stupid to comprehend the intricacies of something you've seen multiple times—not even in other places, but in the same show, even the same episode.

The characters are heavily boring, the main duo being the most salvable of all. They do have some chemistry, but it's just not enough.

Anyways, just another letdown.

Metallic Rouge

Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi // ☆½

CW: violence

In a future where humankind coexists with androids called Neans, a group of them known as the Immortal Nine rises to cause havoc in society. Rouge, a Nean, alongside investigator Naomi are tasked with going all the way to Mars to stop them.

Also known as Bones' 25th Anniversary project, Metallic Rouge arrived to put many interesting question on the table—question that have been talked about multiple times in movies and series revolving androids and robots, yet is always cool to see what different authors have to say about the matter.

Sadly, the way they decide to manage the story is quite futile when it comes to enjoyment. That is, they decided to take the "show, don't tell" narrative route—something we've seen in series like Tengoku Daimakyou, and damn if it worked there. The thing is that this narration style is rather complicated, and can't be saved if done wrong.

Well, guess what happened?

Whether it's the scripwriters' fault or not, I've no idea. The only thing I know for sure is that they fucked up. The give you little to no information, which doesn't help the viewer to try solving the mystery by themselves nor succeeds at keeping them engaged. The only thing attractive enough are the fight scenes, but they become more are more scarse as the episodes go on. Is then when the staff realizes they messed things up, and as a result you get episode nine—a huge ass info dump, with twists that no one would've been able to guess since they hadn't given us enough hints to even get a hunch of what could be going on.

An absolute mess and a masterful class on how not to do things.

Ninja Kamui

Action, Adventure, Drama, Sci-Fi // ☆☆☆¾

CW: death, fire, blood, violence

Higan is a retired ninja who lives in hiding with his family in rural America. One night, assassins from his former organization end up slaughtering both his wife and son due to him breaking their ancient code. Now seeking for revenge, Higan goes back to his old ways in the means to make them pay.

This one is such a wild ride! From the same director who worked on Jujutsu Kaisen's first season, we get an action-packed revenge series.

Yes, it might not be the most original or complex plot of all times, yet that's not its main focus. What it is its main focus are the fight scenes which are absolutely amazing, so fluid and entertaining. You won't be able to take your eyes from the screen!

Even then, the characters are compelling enough for you to either root for them or hope for the hero to end their lives once and for all.

This series is an absolute banger and no one should sleep on it!

Ore dake Level Up na Ken

Action, Adventure, Fantasy // ☆☆½

CW: death, violence, blood, edgelords

After being slaughtered by monsters in a dungeon that was far from matching his rank, Jinwoo, or "the weakest Hunter of all" as called by many others, wakes up only to find out he now that the "System" by his side. This program that only he can see will help him do the impossible—level up.

So here we are, huh.

The biggest anime this season, and it's a fucking power fantasy with extra steps. I swear to God...

Jinwoo is a boring ass piece of wet cardboard, which is meant for the viewer to find it easier to self-insert as him. Those around him are either beings with no personality at all, default mean guys, or the love interest that just has to be there to tell us just how cool and attractive the protagonist has become—not like we needed her for that, since everyone is a simp for that guy for some hell of a reason—and to be saved because she'd be dead without him.

The only thing worth your time would be the action scenes, but since they depend so much on the viewer's hype, and that mainly comes from those who root for the protagonist, it just doesn't work on me.

This shit's boring, man.

Yubisaki to Renren

Romance, Slice of Life // ☆☆☆½

CW: ableism

Yuki is just your average college student who struggles with classes as one does. One day, she gets helped in the train by an upperclassman named Itsuomi. That's when he finds out that she's actually deaf.

One of the most hyped up series from this season, and for good reasons. Not only is a shoujo—sadly, this series don't tend to get anime adaptations as often as their counterparts—, but is a rather well known one.

To the surprise of no one, this is one fluffy series! The characters are all charismatic and sweet, some more than others, and their personalities and struggles feel very human.

The romance is adorable, although I have it hard to not see Itsuomi as someone who's trying to complete a dating speedrun—might be my demi ass, but they've known each other for like, what, two to three months? And they're already dating?

Yuki's deafness is touched upon with such respect, except for when Oushi opens his fucking mouth. I don't know if it's him or the author themself who sugarcoats his ableism as if it came from sheer worry for her future, but saying deaf people should stay at home is in no way a cool thing to say or think. I doubt he'll stay like this forever, but warning you just in case it results uncomfortable for someone.

To end on a more positive note, I love the fact that they center so much around the character's lip movements! It just feels right for the themes that the series touches upon.

Yuuki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern

Action, Comedy, Mecha // ☆☆☆½

CW: violence, war, torture (it's just one scene)

In a world where the military utilizes mechas as weapons, Oahu island, where both the Japanese and American troops are located at the moment, gets attacked by an unknown, intergalatic enemy. They'll now have to join forces to defend the planet.

I think it was Mother's Basement's video that convinced me to give this show a chance and, honestly? I don't quite regret it. After all, I like parodies and mechas, so why not combine both?

Given, I haven't watched every mecha anime there is out there—and with that, I mean that I've yet to watch Gundam which I think was a major inspiration for this one series. But even if you haven't watched it either, that doesn't mean you won't get to enjoy it.

It does make references to the genre's different tropes, yeah, but it serves as a standalone. The comedy works even if it's your first mecha series since some scenes are just so absurd.

The characters are cool, each and every one of them having enough charisma for you to be able to remember them through the entire season. They all have enough chemistry with each other to make their bonds belieable.

With time, the series starts leaving the comedy aspect aside and gets more centered around its actual plot—although the laughs never truly leave. And it actually works, which I admit surprised me a bit.

A series curious enough I think you should give it a chance.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Don't you guys love it when I unearth the most random unrelated niche bullshit and then ramble about it incoherently for you all to read?

The latest thing giving me the dopamine hit atm is a silly otome game called Love & Deepspace, details of which mercifully hidden for you below the cut:

A friend of a friend recommended this game to me and it's turning out to be surprisingly fun. I'm impressed by how little content is paywalled or monetized. Like, I wouldn't mind dropping a little money on the game cause I'm enjoying it, and I HAVE spent a couple bucks here and there on items, but it doesn't really give you a huge advantage in the long term over someone who is playing it for free and that’s kind of surprising. (My god though this game is fucking chonky. If it keeps needing to download stuff I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to play….)

Unlike some other otome games where you have very clear relationship paths with the focus on one single person, here you develop relationships with everyone sort of all at once. I know some people like that, but I personally don't prefer it - it seems even in video games I am too monogamous to have multiple boyfriends at once. I started out focusing on Zayne, cause the older and more serious kuudere character is the one I tend to like in the silly games like this, but then Sylus popped up and now I have abandoned Zayne, I'm so sorry babe, it’s not you, it’s me.

Sylus is very much giving me vibes that the devs all had a design meeting and said "oh the girlies really fucking like Astarion from BG3 right now, why don't we make a copy of that, we could make him the tsundere criminal antagonist character or something?" One of the audio stories has the MC teasing him about looking/acting like a vampire and that's so funny, the devs absolutely knew what they were doing. Hilariously, one of the Sylus-specific custom titles you can win is a nickname I used to have back in the dinosaur days when I was in college, and I find that endlessly amusing. I like how he complains you're in the way if you get too close to enemies in combat - I will choose to interpret this as protectiveness, and it suits me just fine anyways cause I can't fucking dodge properly, and prefer to shoot shit from a distance.

Sorrrrry but I find the english audio way too cringe (particularly Sylus' VA?... sorry) so I have been playing it with the japanese audio. (because I understand a little japanese, and perhaps because I want to shame myself for not practicing at all in the last couple years) I'm sure the japanese audio is no less cringey to native japanese speakers, but the point is that *I* cannot tell. And you see, it increases my vocabulary of useless words I will never need to use - for instance this week I learned the word for "gun". I also like to note the translation choices where the audio and the subtitles don't match up, I find it interesting, like little easter eggs. In this case my understanding is the game was released in Chinese first, so instead of comparing a translation to an original, I am comparing one translation to another translation, but I still find it amusing. (Pie the fox is called “six dumplings” in Japanese)

I enjoy the little details... Sylus is very good at the card game and I can almost never win, Zayne is ridiculously easy to bully into swapping cards and I almost never lose. Sylus sucks at the crane game to the point where it's ridiculous (or maybe I just have bad luck???) but Zayne cheats and uses ice and wins a lot - myeh I dunno. It's cute, I'm easy to please, it's making my brain happy.

The fine details of the story are a bit incomprehensible and the interface takes a little getting used to. I do appreciate all the moving parts here, the story and the collectible content and the combat and everything, but it's a little bit humorous how all the bits don't overlap tidily, for instance I am getting event-related texts that are giving away spoilers for things I haven't learned in the main story yet. And Sylus' separate chapters popped up I think after I finished the ... second main story chapter? And it begins with mentions of a serious disaster that happens in the main story that I hadn't read about yet. It's funny though, just funny. I just got access to protocores and now everything is a million times more complicated. I have no idea why dumb shit like this releases the dopamine in my brain but whatevs. I dunno. If you found this post through a tag search feel free to jabber at me about this game, these little niche things I find, I have so few people I can talk about them with. Every once in a while I will holler my thoughts out into the void here. Blah blah blah. Etc.

[mad-hatter-memes]

Athena P Quotes

A collection of dialogue prompts from various videos from Youtuber Athena P. Feel free to edit quotes if needed.

TW: Swearing, threats, and suggestive stuff

"First of all, asshole, rhinos are vegetarians!" "[Name], you're on my shitlist, I'll see you in hell!" "You did not cook, you burnt the whole kitchen down." "I am having beef with an alive 80 year old. I don't care, she sucks!" "I might say I'm a "bad bitch". But maybe I'm just a bitch." "What was the point in arousing me before you did that?" "Honest to goodness, I don't understand why they're fucking right now." "That was really heteronormative, [Name]. And on pride month no less." "Why do these things always happen...why are men like this?!" "Most people think you look like a prepubescent, sexless, sack of shit...but not me." "This is a crime scene! Have some respect!" "Hey friend...can you calm the fuck down?" "You're the lesbian-est lesbian I know." "If I were to travel back in time and fuck a caveman, that would be weird right? Asking for a friend..." "Shiver me timbers you look depressed." "Long story short...I'm on the run." "Who told you about my asscrack?!" "Oh boohoo your sister cared for you too much, shut up!" "Your lifespan's gonna be tiny if you keep this up!" "Everyone does have to like me; it's the law!" "[Name], I'm exhausted. Can I have my body back?" "Do I need to kick your boss's ass? Do we need to break up? Both?" "What if one day...I wake up and I'm conjoined to my twin?!" "I don't care how many people will die, we need to show off our power!" "Why is damage attractive to you?!" "Do you swear to not kiss anyone cringey or problematic when you're older?" "I can't fit through an air vent, my ass is too big!" "Let's bend the will of other people to make them fully go fucking out of their mind for us." "Where are the nice people at?!" "Who do I have to befriend around here to get a song?" "Hey, I'm kissing your daughter here! Keep it down!"

[hologramcowboy]

In the wake of the SDCC, I find myself incredibly relieved.

I have *finally* been released from my fascination with, and fixation on, Jensen Ackles. I found the things he said, his behavior, and the way he posed for photos to be… So, so cringey. He is not a person I could tolerate in real life. And that knowledge has set me fucking free. ✨

(Also, have you seen the few photos of him without a beard over the past few years? Whatever fillers and Botox he has gotten in his lower face have rendered him unrecognizable and just… Weird-looking. That beard is doing God’s work.)

❤️ I am sorry your image of Jensen got shattered. I know what that's like. Sending you the biggest hug and please know that you are incredibly beautiful inside for seeing so much beauty in someone, especially when the real life version of him is....well, disappointing to say the least. I wish I could be free as well but something within me stills seems to overpower everything bad about him.

[clarisinne]

1. I haven’t been able to leave my superwholock/johnlock past. I’d say deep down that cringey teenage johnlock shipper is still in me, but actually it’s not deep down at all. Do you have another page where you post/share that stuff bc like 👀

2. I’m too shy to say on Patreon but the new art is ✨✨✨✨✨!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just know Harvey won’t be able to look at her without blushing, king that’s your wholeass girlfriend it’s okay!! You’ve done so much with his character and you’ve made him so patient and shy and gentlemanly and I can’t help but think about Mr. Darcy. Harvey touching her hang and then doing the hand flex. It lives in my head rent free

Anyway, just was so good. Was giggling and kicking my feet and twirling some hair around my finger

oh my god i was just like. the biggest sherlock fan but genuinely all i cared about was johnlock lmfaooo and i still go insane at the mention of it i can still rant endlessly about it it's my biggest wound, i thought i would forget it but i didn't and at this point i don't think i ever will!!! it's been 13 years!!!! i'll be 85 years old and i will still fucking ramble about it, i don't have any other page it would just be post after post of incoherent rants trust me you really don't want to get me in johnlock mode i am feral. it's like my first heartbreak it rewired my brain

LMFAOOO ahhh thank you this is so sweet <333 i'm glad you enjoyed it!!! Harvey did absolutely nothing wrong and normal people would... well normal people would have fucked already but he gets incredibly ashamed and flustered over a DREAM and at this point they've been together for at least a month lmao yeah that's hot that's... just who he is. a normal couple would flirt over this, but not them, never them they would DIE. patient and shy and gentlemanly <3 i love the comparisons w Mr Darcy for obvious reasons, although I think that Harvey's way softer and, well, has no pride whatsoever. but oh does he Yearn........

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 16

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

I am wide awake, but I just don't want to open my eyes the second I'm aware of it. A fresh scent fills my nostrils as soon as I move under the covers to hide my head from the light crossing the windows, and it makes me frown and think if alcohol fucked up my senses. The smell is nowhere near the flowery detergent I use.

I slip my body up, resting my head on the pillow again, and the smell hits me like a punch on the mouth. With my eyes closed, I can easily picture him right in front of me. And that leaves me with two options: either he slept in my bed or I'm the one who's in his bed. But considering the way he reacted yesterday about the thought of having me in his house, I discard that.

I open my eyes slowly, letting my pupils get used to the light before I'm welcomed by a blank wall. My heart starts beating faster as soon as I'm aware this isn't my room, and where there should be a door to my bathroom, there's nothing.

I roll on the bed, just to face a brick wall with two big windows that allow me to see some of the other buildings in the neighborhood.

I'm trying hard to remember what happened after I got in his car, but it all is dark -except for my own whiny voice, that I clearly recognize in the back of my mind, crying because I wanted to bite something.

Oh please. No.

"Let me lick it" keeps replying in my head with a cringey voice.

If I could only slap my past self.

I hide under the covers again, still sitting in bed, as if that would erase the fact that I was literally begging Jungkook to let me lick god knows what. While trying to make that memory disappear, his voice interrupts me.

—I see you finally woke up.

—Please, let me die in peace.

—That's not what you were begging for last night.

I move the sheets away fast, just to find him with a playful smile on his face, while his body is lying against the door frame. That black t-shirt, the pair of baggy black pants and his messy hair make him look good. Way too good actually.

I see him lifting his free hand, while the other is still inside the pocket of his sweatpants. Just one move of his thumb, and I hear my broken voice, laughing hysterically, while trying to say "It was like a sprinkler". I know what I was talking about perfectly, and I have no time to be ashamed of it, since I'm already getting up from the bed and heading to Jungkook.

—Delete that.

He lifts his arm as soon as I'm about to reach his phone, holding it up high while he's looking at me with a mocking smile.

—Ask nicely.

—Nicely my ass —I jump, to try and reach it—. Just delete it.

—But you look so cute in it —he starts walking backwards, not moving his eyes away from me—. How could I delete that?

Instinctively, I walk to him, but Jungkook keeps moving the phone around, away from my hands, as soon as I'm close to reach it. In one of those moves, he places his hand on his back, which makes both of my arms wrap around him. He keeps sneaking the phone away from my reach, using his whole body to sneak it away until he loses balance. Jungkook would've easily fallen by himself if he hadn't wrapped his arm around my waist to drag me to bed with him, making me land on his body.

I could easily get distracted by the way he's looking at me, or how good his arm feels still wrapped around my body. But he's the one who's distracted, and I take the chance as soon as I get it. The fact that I was allowed to snatch his phone away, should've been telling for me, but I fool myself by not paying attention to it.

His deep chuckle fills my ears the second I'm aware the phone is blocked by a number code, and shortly after he takes the phone away from my hand to place it on the nightstand.

—Seriously, delete it —I warn him.

—Or what?

There isn't really a response to that. The second his eyes fix on me, with a darker shade than usual, I no longer care about the video. My gaze travels down his face, just to find him playing with that fucking lip ring with his tongue. The "Let me lick it" that was replaying in my head earlier, now makes a lot of sense. It's as if I were attracted to it, unable to resist the intrusive thought that's pushing me to lean closer to him and rub my lips against that mold hidden in his mouth, making my way to his lip ring.

Jungkook avoids it from happening the second I stick the tip of my tongue out. He holds me by my cheeks and sinks me in for a kiss that's passionate and naughty since the very beginning. His hands feel warm when they wander over my body, and sneak inside the oversized t-shirt I wasn't aware I was wearing before.

I want it to go further, I want him to touch me. But I suddenly feel like I need to step back, move away and escape. More than once I need to open my eyes just to make sure it's him who's kissing and touching me.

I want it to go on, and I try my best to keep my focus on how soft and rough his lips feel on mine. But the second his hand moves closer to my bra, I feel unable to avoid my body from moving away and break the kiss.

He looks at me confused. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, while his now soft red lips, coated with a thin line of our spit, are parted as he tries to recompose from the kiss. I move my gaze away from him, and look around, just to confirm myself for a second time I'm here, nowhere else, and it's only Jungkook and me right now. And I really want to know why the fuck I have the need to confirm that when it's obvious.

When my eyes go back to him, his eyes aren't showing confusion anymore. He's worried.

—Are you okay? —he sits, barely leaving a few centimeters between us.

I nod, I feel okay. But my heart keeps beating fast, and it isn't the same type of heart beating I've had other times I was with him. The feeling isn't the same, and it's not because of him.

—Hey —he grabs my chin, making me look up to him—. You sure?

Looking at Jungkook right now brings me a calmness I never thought I'd get from him. It will sound like a dumb cliche, but he makes me feel safe. All that uncertainty and sudden fear slowly vanish the second my eyes land on him.

God knows we went further the last time we were in a similar situation, and I'd have let him go even further if he hadn't decided to stop it all before I got too lost in the feeling. This is confusing enough for me, how would I be able to explain it out loud to him?

—Yeah —not a total lie though, I'm okay now—. I just...

—It's okay —he doesn't need me to finish—. No need to give explanations —his thumb feels recomforting while making circles on my cheek—. Are you hungry?

As soon as I nod, he smiles big and moves on the bed to get up.

—I cleaned and dried your clothes —he informs me—. They're in the bathroom —he points somewhere outside his room—. So if you want to, you can change while I prepare lunch.

Lunch? I can't believe I slept that much.

—You're good at cooking?

—The best —he screams from somewhere in the house—. You'll love it.

After I changed clothes and I'm back to wearing the same top and skirt I wore last night, I step outside and find a cozy apartment. It's not like I tried to imagine much of this place after how mysterious he was yesterday, but it's exactly the place where you'd expect him to be living in. No pictures, nothing personal hanging, but some details scream his name. Like that shelf, filled with motorbike helmets with crazy designs drawn on them, placed over the TV. Or the boxing bag hanging in the corner, next to his bedroom door. Or some big drawings he has piled up on the other side of the living room.

—I don't get why you don't like inviting people over —I mention, as soon as I see his figure moving in the corner of my eye—. Your house is cool.

—It doesn't have anything to do with that —he stops next to the table when I turn to look at him—. I just think opening your home for somebody to spend quality time there is way too intimate —he shrugs—. Too personal.

I can understand where he's coming from. In general, our homes are our safe places, where we go to hide when everything outside seems bad.

As soon as I'm about to speak, Jungkook interrupts me.

—Also... If those girls don't know where I live, they can't bother me here.

And he ruined it.

—Fuck off —I roll my eyes—. Wait, that's why you took me to the studio?

He doesn't need to answer with words, the way he snaps his fingers pointing at me while raising his eyebrows is enough.

—You're an asshole.

—Thing is... Usually, when they see I'm a tattoo artist, they...

—I don't care! —I stop him.

I know that's exactly the reaction he wanted to get from me when he starts laughing, his eyes are totally shut and he's showing all his teeth while laughing silently. He slowly goes back to his own self, walking his way back to the kitchen before screaming that lunch is ready.

When I sit on the table and he serves me a plate, I try my best to hold my laugh. But as soon as he sits in front of me and I see his lips pressing tight against one another, as he tries to hold back his laughter, I can't take it anymore. It looks like a train has run over my omelet, but his doesn't look any better.

—It's a reconstruction of the typical french omelet —he says.

That totally makes me break into a cackle. And I hear Jungkook laughing right after me, letting out a high pitched chuckle that makes me laugh even harder.

We start eating after we take our time to recover from that laughter attack. Whatever there is in the air today, it's affected us badly.

—So? What do you think? —Jungkook asks, chewing on his food.

—It's good —I assure—. I could've grabbed something to eat on my way home. Or maybe I could've cooked something here. You didn't have to do it —I look around, but my eyes fall on him again before I can even avoid it—. You let me spend the night here, you cooked for me...

—Well, let's say, by what you've told me, you went through a lot last night —he shows me a funny smile—. I think you've had enough for the past hours.

I'm really hoping he doesn't say it, but of course he does.

—Throwing up on the dude that was trying to take you home. That's a new level of fucking it up.

—In my defense, it seemed like I did him a favor by giving him an excuse to leave —I mention. Jungkook's curious eyes lay on me as soon as those words leave my mouth—. He liked Melanie and Tammy, but his friends were faster and he ended up with the six of the group of friends.

I say it carelessly. I'm aware that's what went through his head when he said girls like my friends weren't ever into guys like him. No wonder though.

—A six? You're a six? —Jungkook raises his eyebrows, surprised by my comment— Did that asshole say that?

—Nope. That was mine—I sip on my water.

—You're not a six —he goes on—. You're a worthy nine.

—If you tried to comfort me, you could've said I was a ten.

—You're a ten —he sounds sure of what he's saying—. But your low self-esteem, and the attitude you have when you go places, makes you a nine —he shrugs, before he continues—. That asshole should've been thankful you stayed long enough to listen to his bullshit.

I feel my cheeks burn when he says that. Clearly he is interested enough to give up on hookups and flings for me, but hearing Jungkook directly compliment me that way hits me differently. I clear my throat, making an effort to make my voice sound nice and chill, instead of high-pitched and nervous.

—Why didn't you take me home? You know where I live.

—I felt better having you around, considering the state you were in —he doesn't look at me while answering, but I don't really pay much attention to it—. Then I gave you some clothes, and you decided to only put on the t-shirt —he continues to explain—. I gave you the bed, and I slept on the couch.

Mental note: do not drink that much ever again.

I can't help it but feel bad after bothering Jungkook last night, and this morning. To the point that, as soon as we're done eating and I get away with clearing the table and doing the dishes, I waste no time to start picking up my things to leave.

—Give me a minute. I'll put some shoes on and drive you home.

—It's alright —I stop him—. I'll get on a bus. Don't worry.

He sighs as he gives in, knowing if he insists on taking me home, I'll insist just as much until we both end up arguing on how I can/can't go home by myself at two in the afternoon.

—Send me a text when you get home.

—Yup —I throw a triumphant smile at him as I walk out the door.

[marxistmanicpixiedreamgrrrl]

The more I learn about the world &, importantly, myself, the more I find myself unabashedly, unapologetically caring & being myself; the odd, queer, sometimes dysfunctional person that I am. Because the act of being authentically is, truly, a beautiful if not divine thing to me. Existing is artistry. It's artistry in whatever abstract conception of the word "art" & "artist" I hold, in any case.

Existing as you are, without feeling ashamed for that to any degree other than the genuinely bad (read: immoral, not just socially unacceptable) qualities & traits you have is core, to me, to feeling liberated & free. If I wasn't the unashamedly cringey person I often am, or try to be, I don't think I'd feel nearly as good about myself as I do. & actually caring for yourself is the first step to caring about anything else.

Another dimension to this for me is how this isn't something I created for myself, not entirely anyway, there's people who have taught me to care, there's things which made it clear to me that caring, in the purest sense of the word, is a radical act worthy of respect as much as any other. One of the first things which made me feel this way, cognisantly, is something which used to be in the bio of almost every social media account I had. A quote from The Leftist Cooks' video "This is Not a Video Essay."

"Do you want to save the world? Can we admit that to each other? Do you want to save the world? I want to save the world." There's something real in admitting that that I think a lot of people, myself included, are afraid of. It's vulnerable! It sets you up to fail. Because, like, yeah, of fucking course I want to save the world! But I can't. & you can't. & Neil from The Leftist Cooks can't either. But we can try, and together, if we care & go out & do things we might one day succeed.

Something else which really impacted me in regards to all this, whatever you want to call it, Caring & Existing or something like that, probably the very first in that regard, is folk-punk. I could go on a tirade about how it's the song of my people or whatever, being an anarchist, but what I find most important is that it's also vulnerable & honest. & it's music for losers! Half the time it's about making art because you're too unproductive to change the world. The other half is about drug abuse. But, like, it's real. & it cares. Folk-punk speaks about relatable struggles & experiences & reminds you that everyone else in this mess with you is as dysfunctional as the next. & there's work to be done there, sure, but that won't ever go away. & we need to go out & do stuff anyway!

I find this sentiment all throughout my life, mirrored in a way which is almost creepy in its persistence. A book I read years ago, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager by Ben Philippe contains the quote "we’re all just different flavours of fucked-up, hiding it as best as we can." I don't necessarily know what I'm trying to say. Probably something about how important art is & has been to me & how much I genuinely adore people. We're weird & a bit screwed up & I genuinely think that's beautiful.

If there's anything conclusive I'd want to say it'd be this: Go out & be yourself, authentically. Fuck up. Fall down & get back up again. & try to change the world in a positive way, while you're at it. Just don't sweat the small stuff, disregard morally neutral social conventions whenever you can, & it's always better to do a bad job than not to do it at all.