#I am just so genuinely grossed out. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

girlscience · 4 months

Text

Okay. I know I have a lot of cooking mutuals, what do I need to do to make cooking enjoyable??? I am so fucking tired of eating canned soup and kraft mac n cheese and "concoction" (ground beef with whatever else I have that needs eaten and every spice I own). I know people say "if you don't like veggies try different ways of cooking them!" here the thing though, I hate veggie prep. So even changing how I cook them, everything else about veggies is an awful experience for me so I never want to do it. I know people talk about "15 minute meals!" and "one pan recipes!", but so far those have all been lies. People talk about experimenting and trying new things, but I straight up don't know how to do that. People say to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while prepping, but either I focus on the prep and hear none of the story or I focus on the story and struggle with the prep. I am not fast with prep, so meals that require prepping multiple things at once or prepping something while something else is cooking never fails to stress me out to a wild degree. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep everything from burning and keep things stirred and chop up everything and get the next ingredients out and clean as I work all at the same time. I do not enjoy picking out recipes or buying groceries (genuinely hate more than any other chore besides laundry), so meal prep is next to impossible for me. I forget to thaw meat nearly every time I want to cook something and so end up putting it off for days. I can never seem to get my roasted veggies to actually roast, somehow they just steam themselves in the oven. I do not want or like cooking gadgets, so I am doing everything with the very basic supplies. I am cooking for one person so leftovers are a constant issue (I have eaten so much left over food that I find genuinely sickening because I didn't want to waste it). And then I have to do this every day forever till I die. How do I make myself like this??? I am so fucking tired of eating gross food.

#the last time I cooked something myself I genuinely enjoyed was a pork tenderloin and the time before that was a soup #both were delicious and amazing #and both took well over several hours to complete.#I did nothing but cook those nights and didn't get to eat until like 8 or 9 #in theory!!!! neither should have taken that long but I am not speedy!!!!#but anyway because they were so time consuming and messy and stressful I have never made them again #and it's been 2 years since the soup and probably almost 1 since the tenderloin #I tried other ways of cooking pork tenderloin and they were meh to actually gross and I was fighting my gag reflex #to force myself to eat the whole thing (homemade mustard for a crust without the correct ingredients is nasty fyi)#I have a handful of cookbooks some of which have recipes I would genuinely like to eat #but it's just so much #I don't know what to do #I ate some chicken strips and lettuce (both dipped in ranch) and cottage cheese last night #and I was actually forcing myself to eat every single bite because it was so gross feeling in my mouth and the taste was not good either #today I made some pilsbury cinnamon rolls and eating them was also just disappointing #I thought about making chicken and rice for dinner #I got a seasoning packet to try that my family said is super super good #but the chicken is frozen... I guess if I got it out now it would thaw #and the rice I have is eugh. it never cooks fully (tbh I'm not a huge rice person anyway)#and I don't have anything to eat with it? some frozen veggies but they don't feel like ones that would go #and I can never get frozen veggies to actually cook properly so I hate the way they feel when I eat them #I could make a muffin mix but I'm so tired of just eating carbs #I want to cry. I hate this

11 notes · View notes

sillywormz · 1 month

Text

why don't i have a gf or a partner yet it's a mystery 🤔😔 <- voice of a woman who avoids human contact whenever possible and doesn't socialise and is ugly and unsettling to look at and would rather die than make the first move or actually initiate flirting with anyone

it's a big mystery guys

#i feel like the stereotype is that butches should be confident and always make the first move w people #and know how to flirt and make ppl fall for them #but i am autistic and idk how any of this works #plus i genuinely am not physically attractive and i know this. i am aware of this #and it makes it hard to want to make a move on anyone bc i'm worried they'll be grossed out #or even feel threatened bc i am kinda large and masculine #and the last thing i wanna do is make someone uncomfortable #so i will never be the first one to make a move #but also BECAUSE i'm ugly and awkward nobody is gonna make a move on me either #so i just am stuck like this forever #dgmw i don't mind being single and i like the freedom of it #but sometimes the fomo is so real lol

5 notes · View notes

blitz0hno · 5 months

Text

Me pondering: kids are capable of going through and understanding complex problems and their feelings should be taken seriously when it counts.

Me practically: who are all these annoying fucking kids in the milgram fandom and why are they posting the worst takes and most irrelevant bullshit I've ever seen ever???

I think these are valid to coexist.

#haterposting sorry lile kids like amane?#w ACTUAL maturity and intelligence? yes hear them out!!#some 13-year-old posting drivel about “ships” when it's completely irrelevant #or missing the point of very complex plot points bc they are Literally Not The Age Demographic and Actually Dont Understand It?#im SO SORRY i am not gonna b mean to anyone but I WILL HATE THEM FROM AFAR #GO BACK TO BNHA OR DANGANRONPA U ARE ACTUALLY MAKING THE SPACES LOWER QUALITY BY BEING HERE #like obviously it does not matter at all lmao kids will do whatever #i was watching bojack horseman at 13 thinking i was So Smart i don't get to talk #but to be fair i NEVER missed the point as bad as some milgram kiddies in the YouTube side of the fandom #like no “wrong” way to enjoy things but imo they legitimately need to enjoy something else #but literally if your only takeaway from this project is “omg ship cute characters silly”#but you still insist on joining discussion spaces? god please leave #I DON'T HATE MINORS I DON'T DISCRIMINATE i just think the minors who legitimately have nothing to add should shut the fuck up #sorry livechat got me wildin lmaooooo idc that much but like it's a weird contrast #cuz my general genuine feelings for most situations is “yeah listen to kids' perspectives wholeheartedly”#but like ONLINE kids who post about nonsense that has nothing to do with what others are trying to discuss? godddd they legit need to leave #nothing against shipping either long as ur not Gross #(coughbitchesshippingwholeadultawunderagecharacterscough)#but if that's ALL YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT there are way better fandoms for that leave the milgram creators aloooone lmao #minors who actually Think about shit this does not apply to you obviously lol #if ur smart ur smart if you contribute u contribute #but like try to let urself be a kid sometimes too lol

11 notes · View notes

here-there-were-dragons · 5 months

Text

as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.

this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.

#a lot of people literally refuse to even eat ham or pork #not even for like religious or health reasons #just because they think eating anything but beef and chicken is 'weird and scary and gross'#every time i hear people going on en masse about how 'weird and an acquired taste' something foreign is i go and try it and i'm just like #what the fuck were all of you smoking. where is the unbearable weirdness i am supposed to be experiencing #shoutout to that time i kept hearing about how bizarre a flavor milkis soda is and how intimidating and acquired of a taste #then when i actually try the stuff. it's just fucking peach soda. it's peach soda with a faint tangy yogurtish taste. it makes good floats.#how in the absolute fuck is anything even remotely weird much less gross about this?#unless your concept of what a 'soda' should be is poisoned by a lifetime of the entire soda aisle being filled with nothing but brown sludg #from the same 3 brands that all taste like what would happen if they could distill the concept of diabetes and artificial flavoring syrup #i don't know if other countries have this but there's this weird cultural like mandatory rejection of any 'unusual' food here #way more intense than i've seen from anyone from any other country (though that might just be inexperience with other cultures talking)#people react to the mere suggestion of any food outside a very narrow range with outright disgust and genuine fear and horror #and there's a huge amount of unspoken peer pressure on everyone to also do the same #like you're expected to agree with them and you've breeched some sort of silent social contract if you don't #it's seen as *immoral* almost it feels like #it's difficult to describe unless you've noticed it yourself #americans react to the mere suggestion of eating anything outside of the same 2 meats and handful of fillers the same way #that pearl-clutching aristocrat grandmas react to hearing that people in foreign countries do.. basically anything #it doesnt matter if you're suggesting eating ube cake or suggesting eating live bugs because people will react the same way #everything that's not chicken/beef/ect is as good as bugs to people here #hate this stupid blandass country and how impossible it is to afford any food other than burgers if you're not rich #or blessed with relatives that have any idea how to cook and are at all willing to teach you #cause nother weird thing i've noticed about food culture-or at least wasp food culture-that i haven't seen anywhere else quite the same way #is that if you DO have any relatives that know how to cook then nine times out of ten they will jealously guard their recipes like a dragon #and refuse to share them with anyone #thus taking whatever little cooking knowledge was in the family to their grave #so the opportunity other people usually have for family bonding via passing on recipes? pffft no.#for some reason we seem to actively go out of our way to prevent these things from being passed on #i don't know what the fuck is up with that but i suspect it has something to do with 50's dinner party oneupmanship

6 notes · View notes

giantkillerjack · 1 year

Text

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

#original #social anxiety #autism #that one post #actually autistic #self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills #socially awkward #socially anxious #autistic positivity #autism positivity #like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person #this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but #genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think #people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that #it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are #acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong #and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say #actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol #like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary #doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me #I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY #I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD

30 notes · View notes

13eyond13 · 9 months

Text

.

#so far in my sporadic picking away at various manga series i feel i have the weirdest reader relationships with JJBA and Attack on Titan #when reading JJBA i am not really that invested in the characters or even whats happening to them and yet i still never decide to dnf it #and i dont even know what it is that keeps me reading except that its just very unique i suppose?#such an odd combo of different things that somehow manages to eventually have its own sorta cohesive logic and charm #also the art is just fun. its ornate and goofy and macho and flamboyant and gross #but as soon as i put it down i stop thinking about it too #and dont feel like picking it up again for at least several more days #with attack on titan i found the art style mostly really bad at first ngl #it reminded me of awkward drawings a high schooler would make like the inconsistentness #of like there are good action poses here but the people also look weird ugly bland and stiff and the backgrounds are often so empty #idk i was feeling pretty blah about it but something about how starkly straight-forward the story is was interesting to me #where its literally exactly what you heard its just #theres a bunch of humanoid giants attacking our city #and we have to stop them. that's it #and also the awkwardness of the art style i find works extremely well when it comes to the titans #like they are genuinely creepy to me. and they do actually feel massive the way theyre drawn. and the mystery around them interests me too #anyways im like 60% through part 1 of jojo(also read most of part 4 a few years ago) and only on vol 3 of AoT #but yeah those are the 2 series i have the most mixed feelings about so far #wouldnt say i love or hate either of them but still also continue to want to find out more #13readsmanga #p

9 notes · View notes

angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months

Text

felt

#anyway im gonna vent real quick #it’s absolutely crazy to me how much my relapse into self harming/cutting has made my anxiety worse #bc until i was 18 whenever my mom’d find out i’d cut i’d just be punished emotionally and physically to the point i am now looking over my #shoulder constantly paranoid that i’ll be hurt somehow bc i’ve relapsed #despite now being an adult and my parents being dead #it’s crazy how i constantly feel like i’m being watched 24/7 even when i #im entirely home alone bc my privacy was invaded so severely and my every move picked apart constantly my whole childhood #i can never behave like my true genuine self bc im terrified someone will find out and ridicule me for it #it got so bad i started to have panic attacks & literal hallucinations over it when i was younger #and it’s so sad to me bc i was struggling SO horrifically w trauma and abuse as a child and i felt like self harm was the only way to cope #and yet i was never met with any understanding or help i was just told i was attention seeking/hurting everyone around me/making ppl’s lives #hell and though there’s no way anyone would find out unless i told them now and there’s no one to control me over it #i still feel like the biggest burden on earth for coping any way i can to keep myself alive #every time i’ve done something to keep myself on this earth i have been told i’m being so selfish #yet if i chose the alternative and actually killed myself it would be all ‘oh gone too soon we loved them blah blah blah’#you treated me like i was dirt that i was was desperately clawing along in an attempt to survive #it’s as if these people would rather me have died #i do not know how to heal the decades of damage this has led to. i don’t know how to move forward #all i’ve ever been good at is being a nuisance to others that they’d rather drop like hot garbage #anyway. i cut so bad last night my entire fucking upper arm burns #i haven’t done it that bad in years. i can usually stop myself after just a couple but not this time #i just feel so guilty and heavy and gross and disappointing. even tho the only ppl who know are those who i confide in #whatever #sh tw #dlt ltr

4 notes · View notes

fictionfreedom · 4 months

Text

Sometimes I remember we arent really seperated from our discord account and then remember we have (probably) anti friends(?) on that account and I get so fucking nervous. If you recognize us stfu please we just want to be normal sometimes PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. TEARS IN MY EYES RIGHT NOW IM SO STRESSED.

-Elias(he/they)

#profic #pro para #this is probably just paranoia but god im gonna cry if we get “called out”#Genuinely we just want to have 'normal' friends sometimes. but it also means we have to fear for ourself because we might get “outed”#even though we actively attempt to never directly conversate about our more “gross” opinions or stances when around these people #because we genuinely just want friends that we never have to talk about that stuff with #and its been like that for a while! But i am so deeply afraid that someone is gonna connect the dots #and we're gonna get called out and possibly attacked for something we actively attempt to never even vaguely bring up around them #its actually kind of scary?? because so many people have been doxxed for this type of shit and im so scared #but i also genuinely love being around these people and so does everyone else #and im afraid if we lose them that its going to be detrimental for our mental health #sorry this turned into a vent lmao???#vent warning #ig

3 notes · View notes

alluralater · 1 year

Text

rugby player is officially blocked. i wasn't even this icked out when someone purposefully gave me two STIs. what the actual fuck. that text... jesus. i don't even- what the actual fuck??

#got on my laptop to make up for time i lost today dealing with this bullshit about her creepy friend to see that she had set me another text #at some point tonight after my do not disturb turned on (so sometime after 11 idk i didnt check the timestamp)#and her text was SO gross to read. like what the fuck??? i'm not even posting it but just know that i am very VERY disgusted and i'm glad w #never kissed or did anything physical because this sort of shit very well could have been the case with her too.#bro how can you literally be so eager to think that way when multiple people have said this about your friend?? how can you be SO #deluded and dismissive without genuinely being like that yourself??#i'm shook. i'm so shook.#do ya'll know what the thing is here?? it's that i actually DID fuck around and try to find out with someone and it went HORRIBLY.#nuh uh consider me returning to the comfort of keeping extreme distance from anyone who has creepy friends. and anyone #in the goddamn military. the audacity is INCREDIBLE.#honestly glad this is over where im concerned tbh. i'm TIRED. i'm over ittttttt. this counts as my reckless activity #for the next 3 months (i rarely ever make reckless decisions like maybe a few times a year)#my best friend and i are going out on friday and drinking to the fact that we're done w military lesbians. first and LAST for me #if you read all these tags send me an ask with a random lyric from a tame impala song so i can appreciate you

3 notes · View notes

theswedishpajas · 1 year

Note

Do you have any songs that you like and recommend? Related to Beetlejuice or not! 🪲 🧃 🎶

Ooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna preface this by saying that I like to listen to a lot of random music with varying degrees of adult content and if you’re a minor or not comfortable with that stuff, please don’t take my recommendations at face value and keep yourself safe and happy. A lot of the music I listen to gets really vulgar and dark and often touch on very existential or crude topics as those are the things my brain latches onto due to my own mental health.

I have so much music I really enjoy but it’s so hard to pin it down cus I either love every song from one band/artist almost equally (and extremely much) or I love random specific songs but to a lesser degree…!

I’m a really big fan of Will Wood in general, prolly my alltime favorite artist!! I don’t even really know an album I would recommend tho as all of them are so very different!!!

It’s kinda on a spectrum of depression and unhinged to somewhat okay and pretty calm, with his first album being on the unhinged&depression side and then in order until his latest album they slowly become more calm and healthier but still sorta struggling? That’s how I think I’d describe his music!!

The topics in the songs are very existencial a lot and get really dark so that’s something to look out for if that’s not gonna work out for you tho!!!!!

For a beginner listener I guess I might recommend the Self-Ish album, mainly because that’s the first album by him that I listened to, but also cus it’s really energetic and fun in it’s existencialism, it’s just kinda crazy more than anything else-!

Other than that…

*flips through youtube real quick to see what I like cus my memory doesn’t work right*

OH OF COURSE

Now, my taste in music is kinda fucked up-

But I’ll give a (much smaller than expected) list of songs (ESPECIALLY WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO) that I really enjoy for that exact reason:

Bring Me All Of Your Teeth by Hot Dad

O b l i v i o n by Ctrl Ult Delete

I am realizing I don’t wanna call songs I like fucked up without them being very specific cus idk what’s normal or not and I don’t want anybody to think a song they like is weird in a bad way or anything but I feel like these two are okay to call kinda fucked up!!! (Affectionate)

UHHHHHH

Man, I really don’t have any good grasp on anything I enjoy at all unless it’s a special interest???

I’d be happy to share the playlists I listen to the most if anybody wants to listen to them cus idk what else I’d actively recommend???

#ask #rambles #music #I am a goddamn mess don’t look at me lmao #I admire you humoring me and my weird brain and indulging in my very strange interests!!!#this lil wrinkly lump of mine which is also my entire being in the realest sense is all over the place all the time #there was literally a time I completely genuinely listened to all the Clowncore albums on repeat for a month or two-!#my gray matter blob is just going wild-!!#I literally have no idea about anything at any point unless I am staring at it or am asked a very specific question #idk what I enjoy man. I’m just a lil dude with autism and ADHD and suddenly I know all the songs by a random fucked up artist-!!!#thank you for the ask #I know I didn’t really answer very elegantly but I never do with things so I guess this was the outcome that was expected maybe-?#i talk so much and never about the topic at hand and suddenly I’ve recommended a whole-ass thing instead of being specific #I can never tell what the rules are for questions like this but technically the Self-Ish album contains songs?? (and only songs ofc)#so I guess I didn’t answer it WRONGLY technically??#idk man idk #I would recommend beetlejuice music in general but my brain is taking that very literally and I’m not about to ask-#-people to go check out Vieze Jack cus that doesn’t feel very responsible even if I do absolutely love that gross babie of a man #it’s all dutch and I understand nothing but there IS a dedicated person out there who uploads his music videos with english subs #and I also have a friend who helps me translate when I need to (everyone say thank you to Kerenitychan!!!)#he started as a beetlejuice street/stage/whatever performer and later used it to make a name for himself #he has very weird toonjuice vibes and I love him so much-!!!#he once did the ice nucket challenge by pissing into a bucket and pouring it over a girl (but not really) and he’s so fucked up #bucket*#I love him so much #but he’s been trying to slowly change his brand. ge’s still got strong juice vibes but he’s gotten a more BJ-adjacent vibe now instead of-#-the full stripes and dark purple around the eyes and whoever does his hair is better now and stuff and I think his budget has just-#-improved over-all and idk he looks nice idk #ANYWAYS I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING ABOUT VJ LMAO #I should try to find my fanart of him and post it on here cus I haven’t yet since it’s not new art OTL

3 notes · View notes

nostalgiahog · 1 year

Text

Me watching a former friend fake disorders and acting like it’s so QU1RKY x3<!!!1!!1!1111

(Blood will be on my hands but by god it’ll be fucking worth it)

#stop!! don’t do that!!! stop it!!!#It’s!! Weird!! And disrefuckingspectful!!#“Owo wuts it mean when you black out?? Iz it like zh1ft1ngz??? Don’t use big brain language on me >~<“#BITCH I AM- VENTING????#“Autizm??? Lol ur not autiztic ur literallly texting me rn”#un fucking real #not to mention!! they’re so racist??? in like?? a weird way???#“XD 4l i uzed to think u were b***k and honeztly didnt wanna talk to you bc i thought you were a weirdo”#HUH???#also the quotes arent exactly how they said this shit #im just making fun if them #but they were #so gross #also yeah they genuinely censored the word black #but said the nword #i swear white girls are a different fucking breed (reffering to her and her alone)

3 notes · View notes

vigilantejustice · 2 years

Text

obvs logically dig that my. body/food issues are wildly nuanced + complicated things much bigger + more complex than this but it is very hard to stop feeling like wow can’t believe my entire problem is just having “too ugly to function” disorder that is so pathetic :(