#I am not ashamed of that fact

[sufferingsilentlywithgeckos]

I really gotta start actually drawing more, NAHHHH-

[nonymous06]

Hey campers, guess who got far too into Total Drama (especially the gen 1 cast)

Also a sketch page full of Alejandros to prove to myself I can draw him properly

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

thinking about when keating asks the purpose of language and neil says “to communicate” and keating goes “no! to woo women!” like?? did you expect neil perry of all people to guess/resonate with that?? you know just as well as i do that mf is a homosexual.

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.

Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.

If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.

[buttercup-barf]

Red is the colour of willpower, energy, warmth, enthusiasm, leadership, strength, determination, passion, and, of course... Love. And children's hospital floors. /ref

Happy Valentine's Day, @peachypizzicato, @toasty-self-shipping, @dingdongitmustbelove, and @askthelovenest! I hope I did your beautiful S/I's, and your malewifebabygirlboyfriends justice!

[zombiedeers]

Hello tumblr and HELLO OFF FANDOM (especially Enoch fans)

I watched a playthrough of OFF and I got hooked on it, especially Enoch <3333

[astro-inky]

i am so in love with sakura haruno. i just need yall to know it. i love her and i think every character in naruto should also be in love with her and that is why i ship every one with sakura. everyone. haruno harem.

[theflyingfeeling]

I hate it here sm

[sleepydissonantwhispers]

a fantasy that's always captivated me is being enthralled by someone's eyes, especially if there's some kind of magic involved.

please cast a spell on me and watch my mind empty as Your will dominates me completely. stare into my eyes and tell me You can feel my mind becoming Yours, surrendering to Your power as i fall deeper and deeper.

stare down at me and watch my eyes glaze over. paralyze me with Your gaze so that i'm transfixed and just allow all of Your words to slip into my vulnerable mind while You caress my body, easily weakening my resistance with the pleasure of Your touch and Your stare.

[chloeseyeliner]

my (very nice and cool aside from the story) professor today asked us, as an introduction to the next thing on syllabus, what our names were (it's very few of us there) and what we like in this life.

when my turn came, i told her i liked reading. she asked: "oh, that's great! what kind of books? do you like the mystery genre?", to which i replied: "not much, to be honest, haha; i actually prefer romance novels and historical fiction."

WHAT was i SUPPOSED to admit right there? that the gayer and more diverse in general the book the better? that i have read rwrb five-six times by now and every time i read dear thisbe, i wish there weren't a wall. love, pyramus, my throat feels tight all of the sudden? that i cry over poetry and i was one of the only people that read the iliad for fun after the school year ended when i was fourteen and get chills when consuming queer and poc history non-fiction books, or that i recommend books that shatter my heart and rip it right out of my chest with their bare, cold, bloody hands? hm?

(anyway, despite this fun fact thing combined with my social anxiety, she is actually such a wonderful professor, fucking finally if you ask me)

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[zarovich]

i may not be ashamed of my scars but i still fear that no one will love me bc of them

[the-crow-binary]

The love people show for the pink-haired BDSM vampire lady is proof that Isaac could’ve gotten fans who love him with his og design. Or maybe the world is still too homophobic for that.

Literally enrages me. And I'm someone who discovered Isaac first on NFCV and went "ew he's ugly wtf" when I first saw how he looked in the games. It didn't take me too long to actually take a liking to the design and realize how much more compelling it was thant N!Isaac though :) (no one would be shitting on G!Isaac as much as they are now if there wasn't N!Isaac to compare him to. there would still be people, but less)

I mean at least Isaac's design have a sense. There is meaning behind his tattoos, his half-covered face, his clothes (and the lack thereof) all up to his sharp nails. N!Isaac has nothing, even his Devil Forgemaster UNIFORM is a downgrade and lose the sense it was supposed to have by not even having the Devil Forgemaster's crest on it to begin with. (I saw someone say that he looked "mysterious" because of his tattoos and no. No he doesn't. It's a few dots and two lines. It's the laziest tattoos, G!Isaac has the Devil Forgemaster crest embedded in his skin and his tattoos actually have forms and complexity you can try to interpret. what is there to interpret in N!Isaac's dots and lines?? MORSE CODE?? IT MEANS "MEIIIE" JUST SO YOU KNOW)

So it's already insulting that they changed his design because "bohoo he too slutty and BDSM-y he wouldn't fit" (even though you just had to give him clothes or smth), but it's even worse now that they literally took a HUMAN OLD LADY character (that could have been fun to have fight, to change from all the young-looking people) and turn her not only into a VAMPIRE, but a vampire with PINK HAIR, PINK EYES, AND A BDSM OUTFIT. And why? Because it's hot I guess. :) There's no other reason. I mean I'll give NFCV the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe they'll give an explanation in-universe as to why she is the way she is (just like it was explained in-universe what happened to Isaac to make him look and act the way he does. But no N!Isaac fans care about that since they couldn't keep shitting on G!Isaac otherwise). But yeah, I don't have much hope. NFCV was never smart enough to have characterization as deep and complex as the games could have. In the best way I could describe it... it's literally so american. It REEKS of america and it's culture and it's own view on things such as religion and gender and sex and politics. Friendly reminder that CV is originally a japanese franchise. So ofc the non-japanese creators had to force their own culture on it (consciously or not).

But honestly it looks borderline sexist to me. NFCV forced a male character to conform to the american standard of masculinity, and sexualized and slutiffied a female character that did not have any sexy trait before (since it wasn't the point of her character). And thus for no apparent reason. And people are literally applauding them... what the fuck.

[unopenablebox]

oh lmao it just occurred to me that plausibly one of the reasons people who know us separately react with exaggerated shock at the Reveal that 🌸 and i are, like, committed life partners, is not only the general surprise factor of "two people i know extensively who do not ever cross paths live together and knew each other for years before they even moved to this city", which, reasonably surprising

but because due to our shared noncommittal approach to "coming out" or "publicly articulating a stance on a personal gender" absolutely everyone who meets 🌸 immediately interprets their whole deal as "one of the gayest men they've ever met"

whereas i kind of halfheartedly use they/them pronouns and present in a way that means everyone is definitely interpreting me as some unknown member of the set "reasonably butch lesbian", "unconvincingly closeted trans man", or, unfortunately, "theyfab everyone will round down to 'bisexual woman who actually just dates men' due to the way theyfabness is configured in left spaces" and i usually encourage the former on account of how at least then they correctly understand me to be gay and it's easy to pitch

so i think possibly some of the time i am actually watching very nice sensitive straight leftists try not to perform disrespectful mental chess to figure out whether this mean we've both just been straight married the whole time, or if they're discovering new unsettling horizons of homosexuality that they're not prepared to contemplate

[simcardiac-arrested]

once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc

[cherrirui-official]

Are your gijinkas (race wise) based on the actors for the most part or the pokemons design for the most part? I'm curious to know :3

I don't really have a definitive answer for this, but when think abt it, it's a bit all over the place if that makes sense??

Like some of them aren't really a specific race (Like 4est, Pastey, and Lark), some are based on the actors (Like Jayweed and the Mykyie redesign I plan on posting soon) and some are based on the Pokemon's design (Sara and Braidy I think are good examples of this)

Tbh the only one who doesn't fall into either one of these categories is Grunpilo, that weird little freak.