#I am not sure if I can finish it one day
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For if not…
#j.jpg#black sails#parallels#can anyone hear me. is this. something#it sure was something TO ME upon my first rewatch#like why are some of the lines identical. as well as the profile shots.......... To Me#you must know this.....#on all levels except physical john is on his knees begging in this scene. idk what to tell you#feel like i'm going crazy fr i stayed up for like 2hrs just to finish putting this together like the red string theory wall meme#it's not right#could i have made this parallel better in a fanvid YES i thought about and made it in my head all day today#alas. i do not have the episode files....#WHATEVER.......... post for like 3 people and i am one of them
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more of them :-) the first one is based on a promotional photograph for the 1928 film and the second is based on an extremely ugly lamp i found in an antique shop. please don't tag as body horror or anything similar [id in alt text]
#the man who laughs#l'homme qui rit#gwynplaine#dea#artwork#i cannot stop thinking about them i am having so many dreams they are consuming my entire life (positive)#less positively i finished the book the other day and it made me so upset i couldnt sleep and then i had horrible dreams. even though i kne#exactly what was going to happen. i thought i was prepared. dear reader i was not prepared#the next time i am in paris i am going to give hugo's grave a sharp kick for what he has done to me & all of us#it will be worth being escorted off the premises. or maybe arrested. i feel like they wouldnt like me doing that in the panthéon#anyway the lamp the second one is based on was so hideous i kind of wish i had bought it i sort of love it i think#it was just one of those classic old lady lamps with a little porcelain couple on the base (and the tree was the. stem? whatever that bit o#a lamp is called)#i was wandering around with my gran and grandpa and then saw it and immediately went GWYN AND DEA and took a covert Image#anyway i still havent fully decided how i want gwyn's esclavine to work. i cant find any pictures of leather ones but all the fabric#esclavines i have found hang much further down over the shoulders so i am not sure if i am drawing an esclavine at all#i shall continue to draw it this way until i make my mind up. gwyn wont mind i dont think#i hope you are all doing well my friends :D hug you kiss you etc#also i didnt even notice this until rebecca pointed it out but the lamp can be a metaphor for gwynplaine being light/the sun. crying 4 Ever
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~one minute later~
supernatural s1e13 route 666 (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)
swamp diving for a corpse laden racist truck, totally normal💁♂️
#supernatural#spn 1x13#spn gifs#supernatural gifs#sam and dean#mygifs#dean winchester#sam winchester#spngifs#i cut that first gif because i wanted to make sure i got enough of him playing with that rubber band to be identifiable#now that's a natural way to have him fidget! figure that's a jared one anyway. take it over ott hammy fidget spinner every day#funny little journey this conversation had. diff pacing-sam kind of jumps in quickly to complain again and puts dean on his back foot a bit#(shades of the worry over sam hating the life and just waiting to finish the job and get away?)#i'm not sure what they were going in last-i am of two minds about it: either it's like ugh swamp diving smiles or ridic conversation smiles#like they can share a laugh over it being ridiculous and that sam did the same thing he just complained about and dean can look v sweet#or ha ha it's cold and wet and we gotta get In The Swamp which sam is whining about and dean's smiling over - which is more what script had#(but thank goodness they didn't have to film it because it was snow/raining and clearly quite cold)#because ugh miserable. i think the draft script did have them wading in there to hook up the tow line to the truck
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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.
do you see my vision?
#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying#“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME#neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry#i need them to be friends#i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand#i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences#and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them#and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set#and make them their own#they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life#the mcs ever#at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker#and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating#the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people#the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise#cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away#kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self#anyway i'm going insane how yall doing#neil josten#jean moreau#all for the game#the sunshine court
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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head#hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got#blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well#these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol#hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!!#its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed#u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell#hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best#if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand#I'll be normal now I prommy (lying)#well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again#eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife#hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart#have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative
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yeehaw just wrote over 3k and i can't publish Any of it without miles of fantasy au context
#technically its a full scene and a half#brain: hey what if a solid thousand words was just silly puppets having breakfast#and then i said 'damn youre so right' and yeah. silly puppets having breakfast and arguing over ale vs mead#i love writing from barnaby's pov. im so unfunny that its ruining his reputation#i go There Could Be A Joke Here#but head Empty so there isn't one. i continue on. rinse and repeat#anyway big scene of barnaby and wally bonding#as i was writing i was honestly like 'the wallaby enjoyers would have a field day with this'#am i one of them? no. however i know my 'qp barnaby and wally' belief bleeds into my writing#so yk. its easily read either way.#of course i immediately counteract it by sprinkling in a laughingstock crumb or two but yk yk#fantasy au is so fun to chew on... everyone gets to say Fuck and threaten genuine violence...#absolutely unprompted#speaking of writing im actually going to Attempt nanowrimo this year#im gonna try to belt out the roughest rough draft of a standalone book idea#i still need to finish the outline but! im sure i can do that in 10 days!#but anyway ive been having so many fantasy au feelings lately idk why#i think i need to rewatch lotr! extended editions of course im not an animal.#well i am. but - yeah whatever yall get it#im craving that sweet sweet high fantasy & worldbuilding & high quality cinema
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i love your oc haru so much. he;s like if a man & woman had a baby
LMAO thank you for likin my lil guy!! he is my current favorite.
(also accurate)
i have literally over 100 pages of sketches of this guy rn it is dire
#kn8 oc#haru eizaki (oc)#he is SO FUN TO ME so its a blast hearin other people like him#he is a fuckign disaster#also he is kinda. gender. to me#so like#th whole. man and a woman had a baby. is SUPER ACCURATE#n kinda what i was goin for#gember for my ocs. as a treat#(i say as if all of them aint queer in some way shape or form)#anywyas i was like. i have so many doodles i can surely i can complie em#and then this haru zine is now over 100 pages long#and has like#literally eveyrthing in it#one day ill finish compiling it n put it out for like. free#you can have oc lore. as a treat#if you want lMAO#once i am done i will probs be printing a copy. for me. (and my several friends who have joined me in the brainrot pit)#anywyas its enn goes off in the tags again#i will leave it there#I WILL LITERALLY TALK FOREVER ABOUT THIS GUY#IF I COULD#but also like i get shy and think i talk to much#(sorry moss i am doing my best)#anywyas#THATS IT FROM ME
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth
#“rori all of these are your faves how can there be a bad answer” well I still have an internal ranking on some of these#and if all of you pick an option that I think pales in comparison to the others. well. hm#I know what's gonna sweep though because two of these are niche as hell and 4 maybe 5 of these are things you people don't follow me for#fun fact I actually had to scrape my brain to make sure I couldn't come up with any more#I am unintentionally very picky on what is a favorite apparentlyyyy#I also just don't watch/read enough stuff these days so there's that#AND I NEED LONG TERM EXPOSURE TO KNOW THEY'RE STICKING AROUND#so like. I have some options but I don't KNOWWW if they're sticking yet#but this feels like such a small poll lmao#also no sapphics on here this is actually cause I hate women-#NO. JOKING. zelink is here. I almost put gideon and harrow but I'm in a perpetual state of not having finished tlt#and I couldn't put nebetta and darya I was drawing the line at 2 tbos ships. well. actually. changed my mind#not editing these tags actually you guys can see my thought process#WAIT AND SAYMARI. FUCK. I LITERALLY MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THEM I LOVE THEMMM#ok. is 4 tbos ships too many. hmm#I said 2 of these are niche now four of these are niche it's really the “which tbos pairing is your fave” poll#THIS POLL IS SO FUNNY IT'S SO SELF INDULGENT I HAVE TO TAKE OUT AT LEAST ONE TBOS SHIP#I should add one more general one...#cause I do actually want genuine and varied answers I gotta give y'all options so they don't all pool at the first two#I also almost put ellie and abby on here.. that would've been so funny four popular 1 rarepair 3 super niche ships#ellie and abby are soooo interesting to me though so of course the thought of them having something horrible going on together compels me#and they are one of my 3 favorited ao3 tags... they deserve a place...#ok well while I debate on that I'm putting akutagawa and atsushi on here I admittedly have only had like two months of exposure to them#but it is enough I can tell they are so crazy to me#the way my tags are just me overthinking everything on what is supposed to be a fun and silly poll... no one does it like me I'm afraid
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Oh cool, that person who messaged me on Discord like two days ago was hacked - I did think it was weird, but this is like the second best-case scenario so cool cool cool epic
#bean talks too much#idk why they took two days to send the copy+pasted message of 'uwahhh I accidentally reported u can u click this link pweaseee'#gave me an unnecessary amount of anxiety bc I realised that this was one of the people from that old group I was in#and I am pretty sure they started the new group after the old one closed#and the day I start making new refs for my characters that were in that og group - they message me???#like are you gonna belittle me again please go away#but no it's fine#I mean I guess sucks for them but whatever#I wanna finish these refs I'm too busy for scams!!!!!!!!
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i forgot i draw and i'm supposed to upload it
random bob because i didnt know what to draw
wanted to draw my old animal jam outfits but i dont have access to the account anymore (let alone have membership). luckily in one of my really old aj vids i show my change animal screen for like half a second.
+ bonus old oc drawing
rouge the bat from memory
(i have never drawn her before so without a ref was something. since i was on vc with a friend she corrected me a bit without me seeing a ref of her.)
this was drawn before rouge. i didnt know what to draw and friend asked for pvz sunflower. then got asked to draw rouge.
also golzay and me at the bottom.
murderdrones sona, drew this before i started the finished murderdrones comm
#artluli#i forgot i dont always have to upload finished pieces and i can just upload a sketch#i had to actually go back in my files and take screenshots of these so a few of these are old#the rouge the bat one and pvz sunflower are around about a month old#the others are a few days pretty sure#eg the animal jam one and bob animal crossing#other than that the murderdrones is one i did before i started that one drawing#am good at talk very yes#need to dump some more art so see you in part 2 of this i guess lul
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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Hey!!! I wanted to ask what fandoms you're in? I think I know of a few, but I would love to see how many we have in common! I hope you're having a great day/night wherever you are <3
EVA!!!!!!!! HI !
I have so so many fandoms so here's a list of the ones I can think of right now. Not super active in all of them but, I do think about them a lot.
- Star Wars (currently rewatching all of the films and the clones wars in chronological order, Rogue One and Andor are my favourites though)
- DC (Batgirls, Teen Titans 2003, and Young Justice 1998 are my top comics but i’m slowly working my way through most of pre-crisis, also have watched Titans (netflix) and loved it (Brenton Thwaites did an amazing job of Dick Grayson))
- The Maze Runner (i could talk about the books and films for literal hours and never don’t think about them. my roman empire)
- Marvel (mainly mcu but also the ms marvel comics (Kamala is everything to me), also i watched the Hawkeye finale on xmas eve because its THE Christmas show to me)
- both Percy Jackson and Hero’s of Olympus of course (also Magnus Chase)
- Grishaverse (leigh bardugo is life)
- The Raven Cycle (everything about them i'm in love with and the writing is such an inspiration for me)
- Half Bad: the Bastard Son and the Devil Himself (all time favourite tv show, so mad it was cancelled)
- The Manifold Worlds by Foz Meadows (pretty sure the fandom consists of me and the author of the single fic on ao3)
- Outer Banks (it’s summer here so i’m thinking about them a lot, and also you were literally my motivation for finishing s3)
- the Hunger Games (ballad of songbirds and snakes is such a masterpiece and has transported me back to my hunger games self)
- the magnus archives (was really active last year but not so much anymore)
- a good girls guide to murder (I'm so excited for the show)
#i’m like 90% sure i missed some#my problem is that i am not normal about any media i consume#so i just end up thinking about all of them#of the ones you’ve written for i’ve also watched#the bear#and i loved it so much#desperately need another season#also i’ve watched the first season of stranger things and am waiting for my mum to catch up so we can finish s2#used to be super active in the marauders but not really anymore#i’m in aedt so it’s night for me#hope you have a good day/night as well <3#the only fandoms i've written for so far are a marauders fic that i started and proceeded to immediately become uninterested in#and young justice 1998#want to do a batgirls fic tbh because i love them#asks <3#most of the fandoms i'm in are tagged in my archive as well with fanart tags so i can find my favourites#about me#eva!!!
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aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
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langa special
#sk8 the infinity#hasegawa langa#kyan reki#renga#sure. every shrimp is a prawn etc#man. listen. langa is my core ''freaks make the world go round'' baby rn#I have like. a Thesis in my brain abt skateboarding and how its viewed in sk8 and like. deviancy and social norms and#the intrinsic relation between being cool and being a weirdo. gods I did Not shut up at mim abt it last night#or two nights ago. time is fake#fuckign brought up adam in relation to warfred bartosz too that was embarrassing#(for the record my opinion on adam is ''he is too rich and being less rich would literally cure him'')#but yeah I'm laying a bit of ''purposefully thick'' on langa here. its not that the boy doesnt know its that he doesnt care#guy who deals with anxiety by simply not thinking#every day in langas brain he walks into a room full of smashed cups and vases and he like. picks up a few pieces at a time#and puts em on the counter. hes been doing this for months#bet kid has set fire to something in a steel barrel at least once. langa youre a real one to me#anyways! the ''tastes like ant'' thing is real I just experienced it. idk why but I think? oolong caramel?#can smell Really close to the ant smell. it is Very weird#(I did finish that piece of cake anyway. paid for that shit)#last night has been full of events! that I am still digesting. theater very good. hangin out with friends very good too#heres to freaks. makin the world go round. gotta be weird to be cool!#have a good night! I pass the fuck out now. goobaba. tilt ur stage a little bit it makes a world of difference
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.
#i have to say this somewhere or im gonna go crazy#so at a preschool. you HAVE to have one adult sitting at every table when kids are eating. and you also need a person in the hall#for kids getting their lunchboxes and going to the bathroom and shit ok. are you with me here. this makes sense#so today. my 2 coworkers had already taken the chairs bc i got caught up in the hall but i was so fucking hungry that i just ate standing u#which was fine. like i could just put my lunch down if someone needed my help and i Did that ok it was fine. no one was left alone#but later at SNACKTIME. it took me forever to get these 2 kids in the room and seated ready to eat & by the time i got in some kids were#already finished and ready to go to the playroom. so i was like ok i guess I'm not eating for the latter half of the day because they cant#be left alone. and my 2 coworkers at this point were sitting with the snackers and they looked fine so i looked after the Players#intermittently glancing to the snack tables to make sure everyone was fine mind you#So what happened here was.#There was a 20 second interval between the time i glanced up to see 2 adults at the snack table. And the time i glanced up to see#a completely unsupervised snack table. one kid STANDING UP ON THE TABLE blowing raspberries and pointing at the other kids#could not have been more than 20 or 30 seconds that i wasn't looking and NO ONE TOLD ME they were leaving the room#if i had been WARNED that they were leaving i would have prioritized the snackers and sat with them so no one choked and no one fucking#stood on the table#but they both just left for whatever reason without saying anything#and when i brought it up after school they were just like. well marty you were eating too much during lunch#next time you should eat before coming in to work so you can give the kids your full attention#??????? i already skipped a meal today for that exact reason?? how is it my fault that i don't want to starve?#am i actually in the wrong here because it's driving me FUCKING nuts. that was NOT a safe situation and it obviously can NOT happen again#but the issue was a lapse in communication not me wanting to eat food so i don't actually die#and those were two different times of day so they're not even relevant#obviously there are bigger issues in the world than this but i feel like throwing up over it. this was not my fault#I'm sorry that you guys can survive off of like 1 spoonful of granola and a single acai berry for the entire day but im not built like that
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