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#I can do my laundry without worrying about taking up space. Or finding out last minute that someone else just put their laundry in.
chartreuxcatz · 2 years
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where’s that post about the friends who bought a plot of land together and lived in separate houses on that land? That’s what i need. I need my own house. With friends just a yard away. A small house. Apartment sized. Part of me just wants to build my own. But the point is I like the idea of living with friends but I really need my own space. My own bathroom my own washer my own dryer my own kitchen. It would be easier to let myself have moments of productivity when i can guarantee that no one else is in the house.
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WIBTA for moving out and leaving my roommate?
🦆 <- so I can find later
I (20X) am in uni currently in my sophomore year. I'm autistic and have social anxiety so I have terrible luck making friends and usually end up getting "adopted" by an extrovert. At my uni, it's typical to live in a double room - they do not have separate bedrooms/baths, it's essentially just a bedroom with two beds and two desks in them. My first year of uni I didn't end up with a roommate (which is apparently relatively common for first-years for various reasons) but the extrovert friend I made, let's call them P, did have a roommate that kinda sucked (blasting music into the early morning, bringing friends over without warning, etc).
P and I were friends during our freshman years in that we went out to dinners together and sometimes events. Both of us share the same sort of schedule (although they're in a STEM track and I'm an art history major) and ideals (neither of us are into drinking/drugs/partying). So, naturally, P suggested that we move in as roommates together in sophomore year.
Here's the problem. P is kind of abrasive and honestly downright rude at some points. We're friends, we still hang out and go to dinners/events together and joke around, but a lot of times their "joking around" is just hurtful. For example, they find it funny to gaslight me, or maybe they don't even realize they do it - I say things like "I heard that the dining hall is getting a dessert section" and P will say "no they aren't, you're wrong" and then a week later when the dessert section gets installed, I'll say "ah so they were getting one! I knew it" and they'll say "you literally never said that, I did." They also (physically) shove me around, pour salt in my food while I'm in the restroom, make fun of me for not doing my own laundry (I'm physically disabled, literally can't), say I'm taking "dumb classes" compared to their STEM major, etc. Ive talked to them about their behavior before, but they just said "I was never making fun of you".
The thing is, I hate rooming with P. They're fun to hang out with, and they're funny, but when I hang out with them for too long their jokes just turn into picking on me and I just plain don't find it funny. They're not a bad roommate; they respect my space, don't mess with my stuff (usually), but I just don't feel comfortable living with them.
I tried to "get out" last semester, but the only way I'd be able to move out is if I activated my disability accomodations and asked for a medical single, which would take months to process. It's January now, so if I start the process now, it could be ready by next semester. However, P doesn't want me to leave and is super clingy, texting me when I leave to visit home that they miss me. With their previous experience with a bad roommate, I'm not inclined to give them back up to the roommate lottery again, and they're one of the only friends I have at uni, but at the same time, I don't see how we can work this out because I've already talked to them about it and set boundaries and been ignored.
TL;DR My roommate is a good roommate but bad friend, and I want to move out but I'm worried that they'll get stuck with a bad roommate in my stead. WIBTA for leaving or should I stay and deal with it?
What are these acronyms?
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vodika-vibes · 1 month
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Follow You Anywhere
Summary: Fox never thought that happiness was written in the stars for him. Especially after he became head of the Coruscant Guard. Then he met Yuu, and suddenly happiness doesn’t seem so impossible.
Pairing: Commander Fox x Yuu (GN OC)
Word Count: 1496
Warnings: None
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @kimiheartblade @mire-draws-things @clonethirstingisreal
A/N: So, for anyone who might not know, Yuu is afab who identifies as gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns. They are also the personal assistant of Chancellor Palpatine, and are in charge of the Coruscant Guard to "help take some of the stress off the Chancellor's shoulders". The only people who refer to Yuu as she/her are Palpatine and Anakin. Palpatine because he's an asshole, and Anakin because he listens to Palpatine before he listens to Yuu. Also, I said I was going to write this and now I have and I am happy. Happy-ish. My entire face hurts.
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Fox doesn’t think that he’s a very reflective man.
With the way that the majority of the Senators treat him and his brothers, not to mention the way the people of Coruscant look at the vod’e, and the things that he’s had to do just to stay alive—
Well, if he thinks about it too much, he’d grow to hate himself.
But sometimes, just sometimes, he does reflect on the decisions he’s made.
Amusingly, he finds himself more reflective when he’s here, safely stretched out in Yuu’s bed, draped in their ridiculously fuzzy blankets, and sinking in their dozens of pillows. 
There’s just something about Yuu’s space that makes him reflective. Maybe it’s because he views it as a safe place, or maybe because the entire apartment just radiates the same energy that Yuu does.
Whatever the case might be, Fox is glad for it.
Cody’s always claimed that self-reflection is the key to bettering yourself as a person, and while Fox is still of the opinion that that’s Jedi bullshit, even he has to admit that he’s become a better version of himself now that he has time to think.
As much as Yuu has given him so much more to worry about, they’ve also given him someplace where he can grow. And he loves them for it. Not that he’s ever going to say that to them.
They already have an overinflated ego, the last thing he wants to to make their head swell even more. 
Now that he’s thinking about it, Yuu isn’t in bed next to him. 
Fox turns his head to the side, scanning the bed where Yuu would normally be curled up against his side. The sheets are cool to the touch, and he makes a face.
Clearly, he spent far too much time lost in his thoughts if he didn’t even notice that Yuu wasn’t in bed anymore. 
Fox kicks the blankets off the end of the bed, making a mental note to make the bed at a late point in time since Yuu won’t, and he swings his legs off the edge of the bed.
He runs his fingers through his curls, messing up his already messy hair even more, and then he gets to his feet. Fox scans the floor for a moment, his gaze jumping from article of clothing to article of clothing, until he finds the dark red sleep pants that Yuu had enthusiastically removed the night before.
Tossed over their lamp, of course. 
He shakes his head, sometimes he thinks that Yuu does stuff like that intentionally.
He grabs the pants and pulls them on, then he scans the room one more time. 
They really need to clean the room.
Oh, it’s not messy. It’s just that Yuu can’t be assed to put their clothes away, preferring to leave them folded on the dresser. Also, they have a lot of stuff.
Maybe he’ll offer to help organize the mess at some point. 
Maybe.
Fox shakes his head, and kicks a pile of Yuu’s work clothes over next to the laundry basket before he opens the bedroom door and heads into the main part of the apartment.
Even without knowing what time it is, he knows exactly where Yuu is going to be.
He meanders down the short hall and turns into the living room, and there they are. Standing in the kitchen, hands on their hips, clad in one of his old shirts and shorts, feet bare.
And their short hair covered in dye.
He can smell the dye from the couch.
“What color are we going this week?” Fox asks as he walks around the couch to get a better look at the dye in their hair, “I liked the red.”
“You,” Yuu turns and points at him dramatically, “Have a thing for me in red.”
“Guilty as charged.” Fox replies with a shrug, “Can’t help it. I’m a weak man.” He walks over to them and leans down to carefully brush his lips against theirs.
The gentle touch is rewarded with a soft sigh, and Fox can’t help the soft laugh that falls from him at the sound. When he pulls away, Yuu looks almost misty-eyed, and Fox laughs a little more.
“Ah, you’re so pathetic for me, little bird.”
They pout and press their hands against their cheeks, “I can’t help it, I have a soft spot for men who are also hot messes.”
“Good thing I have that particular character trait covered.” Fox teases before he takes their hand, “Nail polish?”
“I started and then got bored. I don’t have enough colors.”
“...you own all of the colors.”
“I need more.”
“Are you sure you’re not actually a hummingbird disguised as a person?” Fox asks as he examines the three nails that are painted, all of which are different colors.
“Oh no. You caught me.” Yuu twists their hand and threads their fingers with his, “As for your earlier question…I’m going orange and pink. With some red and purple.”
“Hm, colorful.” 
“I’m going to look like the sunset.”
“Ah, so you’re going to be even more stunning than you already are.” Fox teases.
Yuu grins up at him, and stands on their toes to comb the fingers of their free hand through the curls at his temple, “You should let me give you some color, Foxy.”
“Hard pass.”
“Thorn let me.”
“Thorn seems physically incapable of saying no to you.” Fox points out, “And I, my colorful little bird, have no problems saying no to you.”
They seem unphased with his refusal, not that Fox thought that they would be bothered at all. They never are.
“There’s caf in the carafe,” Yuu says, dropping the topic with an easy shrug, “And I made muffins.”
“How long have you been awake?”
They shrug, “Couple of hours, you were sleeping and it looked like you needed it.”
“I did need it, actually.” He agrees as he turns to pull a rainbow mug from the cabinet, “Why don’t you have any normal mugs?”
“What is normal, exactly?”
He shoots them an amused look, “Mugs that I would be able to use in front of a Senator without them commenting on me being your boy toy.”
“You’re my favorite boy toy,” Yuu counters with a wide grin.
“Mm, and I love you for it.”
Their grin widens, but there’s also something soft in their gaze. That’s one of the nice things about Yuu, Fox thinks as he pours himself some caf, he never has to worry about where he stands with them.
“I love you too, Foxy,”
He sets his mug on the counter and allows Yuu to slide into his arms, “I know you do, little bird. I’ve never doubted that.” Fox presses a light kiss to their forehead, “Not even when you pile more work on me.”
They release a happy hum and press their nose against his chest, before pulling away to not worry about getting dye on his skin, “I repainted your armor.” They say cheerfully, “It’s in the guest room.”
Fox blinks at them, “When did you have time to do that?”
“This morning.”
“So you’ve had time to dye your hair, paint three of your nails, and paint my armor. Someone’s feeling productive this morning.”
There’s a flicker of some uncertainty on their face, but it vanishes almost as soon as it appears.
“What’s on your mind, little bird?” Fox murmurs, “You’ve never been one to not speak your mind.”
“I was thinking,” Yuu says slowly, “That maybe if you want, we can go on a date. After I wash the dye out of my hair and get dressed and stuff, obviously.”
Fox lightly settles his hands on their hips, “And why would you be nervous about asking me that? I’ve never denied you a date before.”
They shrug, “Most of the time it’s me dragging you somewhere and you being too nice to say no.” Yuu pauses for a moment, “Besides, I want to go on a proper date. Not just an adventure.”
Fox hums thoughtfully, and then he slides his hands from their hips, up their sides, over their shoulders, and cups their face, “Then let me speak plainly. Yuu, I would follow you into hell if you asked it of me.”
“That seems silly.”
“I love you.” Fox says quietly, “I would give you the galaxy on a silver platter if you asked for it.”
Yuu stares at him, momentarily surprised, and then they laugh and raise on their toes to kiss him, “I love you. Help me wash the dye out of my hair?”
“Let me finish my caf?”
They bump their nose against his, “Anything you want, Foxy.”
And Fox doesn’t bother to smother his smile as he crashes his lips against theirs. Happiness might not have been written in his story when he was decanted…but Yuu prefers to write their own stories, and he couldn’t be happier about it if he tried.
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little-grey-dowitcher · 4 months
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So apparently there’s been a new twist on a trend I’ve been seeing for a while in like hardcore fundamentalist Christian/anti-LGBTQ+/gender critical groups and as funny as it is that they make hating queer people their whole personality, to the point of even pretending to be ex-gays or whatever, something about it is so bizarre from an outside perspective.
Honestly, it’s kinda sad to me how many of these people will make what are supposed to be the happiest moments of their lives about people they hate. Like in my last reblog, that couple was getting married, which is great for them! But rather than celebrating their marriage and their relationship and their love for each other, they decided to focus on their hatred of kinky furries? And imo there’s no version of events that makes this better. If they both were in on making this post, then I worry about their relationship because I speak from experience when I say ANY relationship founded on a mutual dislike of someone else is doomed to fail. If it was only one of them who came up with this idea and posted it without the other knowing, that’s also pretty bad, because how do you explain to your partner that the reason you can’t just be happy about your marriage is because you’re too busy being mad about kinky gay people online?
This is a trend with people announcing their pregnancies too, like they’ll go “yep! Just found out I’m pregnant! Something only REAL WOMEN can do, not something a trans woman can do!” And first of all trans women are real fucking women, so write that down. But also why couldn’t you just focus on your own happiness? Like, what are you gonna tell your child when they get old enough to use Facebook and they look through your page and see a memory pop up of that post? How are you gonna explain to them that you were so busy focusing on how much you hate a bunch of trans people you’ve never even met that you couldn’t even be happy they were coming into the world? And then there’s the parents who continue to make their entire child rearing experience about their hatred of trans people after their kid is born, like how those tradwife videos will show them making bread with their daughters and then randomly bring up how this is what Real Women do. Which is so bizarre. But also gods forbid your kid turns out to be trans themself, because now they’ve got an entire laundry list of posts you made detailing how much you hate trans people (IN THE CONTEXT OF RAISING THAT TRANS CHILD, NO LESS) that they can now use as a justification to cut you off!
It’s like that woman who talked about hating trans people on her deathbed. I don’t feel like I just “got owned” or whatever. I don’t know any trans women who feel that way either. I feel pity for a few minutes and then I go back to scrolling tumblr and drinking my tea. I forget all about it until someone brings it up, either as a passing joke or to show me an example, and then I laugh and maybe feel a little pity again, and then I go back to playing video games. Occasionally I’ll wish they had something in their lives that they loved and considered more important than their hatred, because I feel like everyone deserves to find happiness in the things they enjoy, but I never feel like I just got “absolutely destroyed” or whatever the poster’s goal was. I just feel pity for the people who are so obsessed with their hatred that they can’t focus on literally anything else, and then life goes on.
Idk I just truly hate this trend, not because I wish ill on the people doing it or think it’s cringe or whatever but because I think it’s more damaging to themselves than it is to anyone they’re directing their anger towards. Imagine being so miserable all the time because people exist that are different from you and it takes up so much space in your heart that you can’t even be happy about the good things in your own life without somehow making it a “gotcha” at random people you don’t know.
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whiteravengreywolf · 2 years
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Angels Like You Can’t Fly Down Here - an Avatrice fanfiction (in Space)
Hey everyone! Here’s an extract from the first part of my new fic, where Ava is a pilot/smuggler taking a job for the OCS. It’s all very angsty (but with a happy ending). If you enjoy the link to the full story is at the end!
There was a time when Ava used to like this song. That was the reason why she had thought it would be a good idea to set it as her alarm. Now, she hated that song. It blared in every room of her small ship, much louder than it had any reason to be. Her head was pounding with the base. She opened her eyes a crack and found far too much light on the other side. She forced them shut once more.
“Michael,” she mumbled, but it sounded like a shout to her. “Michael, turn it off.”
“I'm sorry, Ava, I'm afraid I can't do that,” the ship's AI answered. “You told me to keep playing your alarm until you were awake, and to wake you before ten.”
“What time is it?” she asked, her dried tongue struggling with every word.
“9:59.”
She let out a sound, half a sigh of resignation and half a groan of pain, and sat up, her eyes still partially closed.
“Alright, I'm awake. I'm awake. You can turn that shit off.”
Finally, blessedly, the music came to a stop. Ava rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She had slept on the leather booth in the tiny space she used as a living room, both legs and one arm hanging off the side. Her shoulder was killing her, but the pain was nothing compared to her massive headache. As she sat, she realized her belt had been undone, but not much else. Had she brought anyone home the night before? Were they still here?
“What happened last time?” she asked as she scooted out of the booth, stretching her right shoulder.
“You brought a woman back with you then promptly fell asleep in the living room,” Michael explained. “She left soon after.”
Ava groaned.
“Did she steal anything?”
“She did not.”
Well, at least that was something less to worry about. Ava took off her leather jacket – she needed to stop sleeping in that jacket, it made her sweat what little water she had left in her body – and threw it on top of the pile of stuff already on the small, circular table.
“I need a shower. And breakfast.”
“I suggest a cream cheese bagel this morning.”
“Again?”
“That is the only thing you have in your kitchen. You forgot to go grocery shopping again yesterday.”
Ava wished she could blame the AI for not reminding her sooner, but she knew Michael had reminded her every morning before she left the ship for at least three days now. She could only blame herself on this one.
She took a too long, too warm shower, letting the previous night run down the drain. She should drink less, she knew, but it was difficult when the best place to find work was a bar. She could order non-alcoholic beverages, sure, but who would want to hire a smuggler who couldn't hold their liquor? She had a reputation to maintain.
 She came out feeling better and even more dehydrated than before. Once dressed in clean clothes – a rare commodity on this ship, because she had forgotten to do the laundry again – she went into the kitchen to get the biggest glass of water she could find, and spread whatever cream cheese she had left on half a bagel. She would kill for some takeout, but until she'd scored another job, she had to be careful with her money, and she was slowly accumulating a tab at the bar that would need taken care of.
She chewed her bagel without thinking about it, her mind a thousand years away. She wasn't disappointed that the woman had gone last night before anything could have happened. She was somewhat glad. She knew what her drunk self had been trying to do. She was trying to forget Helen.
Helen wasn't her real name, Ava knew. She hadn't given her real name either. When the tall, beautiful young woman had introduced herself at the bar, and given the name Helen, Ava had decided to play along, and had introduced herself as Ariadne. Helen had seemed distracted at first, glancing about the bar, but as the night progressed, they had gotten along well. Ava had convinced her to go back to her ship. Helen had seemed nervous, but she had come along anyway. One thing had led to another, and they had slept together. When Ava had woken up in the morning, Helen had been gone.
Full story here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44800671/chapters/112718467
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cloggedarteri · 22 days
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♡midnight thoughts i wanna share with you good people
♡i love putting the characters i love in shitty situations so hear me out okay but like what if ignis is pursuing higher education (b/c he's a go-getter and he wanna add as many qualifications he can to his resume) and the boys and regis are completely supportive of his decision and try to encourage him to prioritize his studies and fully immerse himself in college life so he does. ignis gets the full experience. he gets the late night studying and the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and the over-caffeinated anxiety and the shitty dorms with even shitter roommates (emphasis on the shitty roommate). ignis' roommate isnt shitty in the sense that they leave a plate unattended for too long or are inconsiderate of their shared space no. this particualar roommate is shitty because they're a lil pervert that likes to watch ignis whenever hes in the same room, likes to raid through his dirty laundry when ignis is gone, likes to sift through his dressers to find belongings they could 'bond' over in conversation and every time ignis turns his attention to them they're able to avoid suspicion but in his gut ignis knows that something is wrong. so ignis starts to distance himself, he starts to spend more time off campus and commute to school even if the travel is inconvenient but there are times when he needs to be on campus and thats when the roommate gets their long-awaited fix of iggy musk (ew). a few days before a school break the boys come down to campus to help take ignis' things before they steal him away for a trip so before he finishes up his reports in the library ignis hands his room key to gladio (he loves noct and prom but they cant be trusted w/ key) and upon opening the door to the dorm they see the roommate rummaging through ignis' luggage and when they notice that they have company they try to use the excuse of trying to find something he'd misplaced. the boys are on edge but prompto tries to smooth it over by asking if he'd found what he was looking for and the only answer he gets is this sly smile that grows on their face along with a nod in confirmation. gladio goes to take some of the bags back to the car but wordlessly orders the boys to still in the room with the roommate and as they try to engage in conversation with them they can't ignore the weird feeling they get, not only have they found the roommate in a compromising position but they spoke rather possessively of ignis. like 'i hope you're not keeping him for too long' and 'i wouldn't know what id do without him' ya know little comments that when said in normal context wouldn't be too concerning but when you find someone digging in your friends luggage you can't help but worry about their intentions. when gladio comes back for the last bag ignis accompanies him chattering and laughing at whatever nonsense gladio's talking about (my boy missed his found family so much omg), ready to start their trip but he stops in his tracks when he sees the roommate in the room and hes surprised because he could have sworn they'd been expelled. ignis asks 'why did you come back?' and the roommate says "to see you" and they just stare. okay, im done torturing ignis now.  by the end of their trip the boys find out the roommates had been arrested for stalking, harassment, and a slew of other violations. 
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xnitkov · 5 months
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this is just a test drive, relax
let me tell you a story how i became a victim of constant energy cyphering that lasted without my knowing for mearly 5 years.
this solar eclipse 2024 brought back the yellow jack phenomena, the yellow jack archetype has been roaming the astral streets since december 2023.
he is a gnarly son of a bitch. he is a truth teller - it's up to you to decide whetherher he is your friend or not. His factory settings are neutral - chaotic. he is mearly a messanger. don't shoot the messenger, they say.
His job is to point out to you your karmic debt and the pile of shit you're sitting in. what he did for me is; warned me about a group of satanic ass scumb bags ciphering my energy collectively for some time now. at first, i was devistated at the sight of this vision/projection i received. i thought for sure, yellow jack must be an evil entity. but low and behold - what he said was the truth.
he showed me a vision (a projection) from that movie - the exorcism of emily rose. the scene in which she declines to take virgin Marys hand because she must tell the world about the atrocities she has endured. ...soon after i saw a figure mocking me. Mocking my upcoming pain.
The beggining of this vision starts with a spiral resembeling a milky way. but it's not. It's a portal. everything is yellow in color. from the center of this spiral comes a space ship. This space ship opens it's doors and the yellow carpet unrolls. Willy Wonka enters the scene. (it's like a willy wonka silhouette). He is entirely yellow. Which is why we refer to him as yellow jack. He comes down this carpet dancing with a walking stick in his hand as he has no worries in this world.
...this happened in december, I don't remember all that much but I do remember asking him who he is - he showed me a sigil which signifies the astral plane (sephiroth HOD 8 ). which is how I knew he is an being controled and summened by another living fellow human being.
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The yellow jack is an archetype known in tarot as The Fool, from above the veil. And the Emiliy Rose projection is an doing of an actual human being.
After the yellow Jacks show ended and fellow human beings projection ended:
An inverted pentagram was shown to me to inform me that now we are energetically linked.
Along side yellow jack, came a group of fairies through my bedroom mirror. Since the portal was opened from God knows where.
(I know, I know...bare with me, more on fairy stuff later)...
hi, that's me. emily rose - xaha nitkov.
I endured group astral terrorism since december 2023... i was targeted by a group of people from my neighborhood who apparently are balls deep in black-magic stuff and voodoo crap. i had no knowledge about any of this and they did not have my consent...but they did me dirty anyway.
if you ask them why they did me like this and why they progressively attempted to kill my spirit - they would tell you; "because we are shameless."
...well, since they claim to be shameless. I shall expose all the atrocities they did to me in the astral plane and i shall use the best of my abbilities to explain how and what kind of black magic and voodoo they used.
and, eventually - I shall expose their names.
Every. Single. One of them.
I'm curious to know if their claim to be apsolutelly shameless is true. They, as proffesional narcisists, claim to be immune to feelings of shame. My conclusion is that they only think so because they are sure no one will ever know... that no one will ever find out about their sick mental and emotional state. and what lenghts are they willing to go to satisfy their sick and twisted needs.
It is only right to put their shamelessness to the test.
then and see if they can keep that same energy when the sun comes out.
and all their dirty laundry gets exposed.
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katy-l-wood · 2 years
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I have a question about fire evacuation bags, if that's alright. My little sister (currently 14) is autistic with moderate support needs, and her special interest is stuffed animals. She also has anxiety and is really worried about the fires, as we all are, so we as a family researched and made plans together. But one issue that she/I/our family aren't sure about is taking her stuffed animals. We have a collapsible laundry bag and for now we've told her that IF there's time (so not the "we need to run in 3 minutes" situation) she can take as many as she can fit in there. When fire season starts she's going to fill it with her favorites in advance and keep it by her bed so she wouldn't have to waste time once the evacuation order is given. But the bag does take up a bit of space when filled, so we're trying to weigh what's reasonable for evacuating efficiently vs what's reasonable for soothing her. Some of the stuffed animals are irreplaceable for emotional reasons and/or would be extremely difficult or impossible to find a replacement in the first place, so she's really anxious about losing them. Do you think the laundry bag is reasonable or should we set up a different plan? Has anyone else handled a similar situation with an autistic family member (or autistic individual themself) having to take or leave behind a special interest collection?
Always happy to answer these sorts of questions!
I think you're lucky here because her collection is something soft and not breakable, which really expands your options for getting it together and out the door quickly. So here's what I'd do:
One hour or more evacuation time: get some of those vacuum storage bags and keep them in or near her room. Have her and everyone else in your family practice using them a few times. This should allow you to take a lot if not all with you, without them taking up too much space.
Less than one hour evacuation time: get one of those stuffed animal nets to hang over her bed. Like this:
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Put it on hooks that it can easily be unhooked from, rather than eyelets, and make sure it is easily accessible without the need for anything like a step stool. Then, if you have to evacuate quickly, just unhook, wrap up, and toss in the car. This is pretty much the same as the laundry basket idea, but it will allow her to better display her collection while offering an easy evacuation option. Also saves on floor space. You could even get her two or three of the nets and have the stuffed animals sorted by priority, in case you don't have room for everything.
Additionally, keep a backed up digital record of every single one of her stuffed animals. You'd be AMAZED what the internet can track down for special needs kids that have lost or worn out their favorite things. There's several subreddits dedicated specifically to doing stuff like that. So, worst case scenario, if you do lose an important one, you'll have good clear pictures to help with replacement hunting, rather than MAYBE some blurry candid shot from random family photos. You could even make it fun and have her set up little scenes with them to photograph so she can hopefully feel more secure in knowing you're all working together to protect the collection. And the fun scenes would hopefully make it less stressful/anxiety inducing.
Lastly, make sure you are signed up for your local county phone alerts. In Colorado you can get REALLY specific with what you're signed up for. There's the standard "everyone gets these" notifications where your phone starts screaming and beeping, but there are in fact more options that will warn you BEFORE the big alert goes out. Not sure what other states offer, but I'd assume something similar. Also, get a Twitter and follow your local fire departments, and turn on push notifications for them. Without fail the last couple years, Twitter has been the best source for live fire information.
Hope this helps!
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yeojaa · 4 years
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feed me, fight me.
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pairing.  boxer!jjk x f!reader.  rating.  explicit.  tags.  relationship issues, baby angst, comfort, unprotected sex (please be responsible!).  wc. 3.5k.  beta reader.  @hobi-gif​, always.  💖  author note.  i’m really into comfort fics rn so... 
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What do you get when you mix a pissed off girlfriend with a neglectful boyfriend?  (Aside from trouble, that is.)
The answer is you - throwing punches far harder than you should be, completely disregarding the fact that you’re meant to be playing the part of perfect partner, meeting pads in the sequence he’s laid out.  It’s you throwing a hook when you should be swinging an uppercut.  It’s you, snapping your leg out with a satisfying thunk! of your shin when you should only be thip kicking.  It’s you, not giving a single damn as you take out all your frustrations on someone who’s growing increasingly more irritated by your childishness.  It’s you, blatantly disrespecting him in his ring - sending a reminder that there’s more to life than the four corners of this space. 
How can he blame you though, when he’s the reason?  When you’ve voiced your annoyance more than once - more than twice, more times than you care to count - and each time it’s met with a half-hearted apology (if you could even call it that)?  How can he hold it against you when you’ve asked, demanded, pleaded for more? 
“Cut it out,”  he seethes, quiet, under his breath, irritation igniting his expression, something hot and angry burning in the dark of his stare.  A withering wildfire in an empty field, smoldering coals flickering bright.  It presents itself in how his mouth curls, the hard line of his jaw as bone threatens to snap in half from the tension. 
“Cut what out?”  Your retort is punctuated by the smack of leather on leather, the worn edge of your boxing glove meeting the pad that Jungkook raises just in time to avoid a black eye. 
“What’s your problem?”  How he manages to snipe back - somehow sounding disgruntled by your behaviour - you’re not sure.  All you know is it boils your blood, searing heat within your veins when he effortlessly blocks your next jab.  He knows you well and knows the sport better, predicting each movement as if you’re telegraphing it all with a giant neon sign on your forehead. 
(You probably are.  You’ve never been good at hiding your emotions, pinning your heart on your sleeve, your sadness heavy in your mouth.  They wear you, rather than you it.  A weakness of yours.)
“You’re my problem.” 
“Shut up.”  It’s not the usual exasperated annoyance he levels you with, meaner and paired with a swat of your gloved hand.  He’s not supposed to be countering you, instead only blocking the punches you throw his way. 
(But then again - when did he ever listen to you?  When did he ever do what he was supposed to?)
(It’s not a fair assertion.  You’re just mad.  Livid beyond belief, standing atop this hill that you’ll happily die on.)
“Fuck you,”  you snap, offering the petulant comeback in the same instance you surge forward.  He blocks your jab - sees it coming from a mile away - and goes to block your hook. 
Except it never comes, your knee straightening out instead, hard edge of your shin slamming right into the side of his leg. 
He crumples more out of surprise than anything, eyes wide, all the anger swept away by something closer to astonishment.  It shines impossibly bright in his eyes, turning his entire expression upside down when his knee hits the ground.  By how he falls, you’re sure you’ve hit just the right spot, left his nerve endings buzzing uncomfortably as the feeling leaves the limb. 
“Are you serious?”  You know he’s genuinely baffled then, voice slipping, cracking in a way you’d normally find adorable.  (It goes to show how upset you are, the awkward split of his words doing nothing to soothe your temper.)  “What’s your issue?”  He’s still seated on the floor, rocking back on his heels, brow knit in consternation.  It’d take him seconds to jump up - to put you on your ass - but he chooses to remain where he is, staring up at you with that look on his face.
(That look you love.  That you hate.  That makes your insides turn to goo on his best days and misery on your worst.  That you’ve seen every single day for the last three years, as the first thing upon waking up and the last thing before passing out.  That makes you hesitate now, peering down into it.)
(Were you being unnecessary?  Unbearable?  Was this on you?)
“I’m going home.”  It’d be nice to tear your gloves off, throw them in his face and storm off in a huff.  It’d cause the scene you’re hoping for, push him to where you need.  (Because that’s the thing about Jungkook - he doesn’t react otherwise and you’re sick of it.)  Instead, you turn on your heel and slink away, silent as a mouse.  
You’re tired.  Too tired.  Why had you started something you couldn’t finish?
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It shouldn’t surprise you that you’re home alone for hours that night, curled up in bed and half-asleep when light from the hallway spills into your bedroom.  It comes with hardly any noise, a tell-tale sign he’s trying not to wake you (or disturb you or get caught).  You almost let it slide when his figure appears in the doorway, broad frame swallowed up by the oversized sweater he wears.
He’s moving near silently, having already deposited his gym bag in the laundry room.  He doesn’t even switch the light on, moving around in the muted glow of the hallway, fumbling as he strips his clothes off and tosses them into the hamper against the wall. 
You expect him to head directly into the en suite, wash away whatever grime he’s accumulated throughout the day.  He’s always been this way, far too concerned with dragging in odour and dirt into your bed to do otherwise.
Except tonight, he doesn’t follow his usual routine.  Tonight, he makes a detour.
The bed dips before you realise what’s happening, grip on the pillow under your head tightening.  Words fit between your teeth, ready to spill out, lash out, tear out like a bullet deadset on landing a bullseye. 
“I’m sorry.”  Two words you’ve been waiting to hear, that startle you enough to throw your anger out the window, tossing them out with the wash.  “I don’t know why you’re upset but I’m sorry for whatever it is.”  He’s speaking into the quiet of your bedroom.  You can feel his hand settled on the bed, wrist somewhere over the line of your spine.  
Oh - he thinks you’re asleep.
“Things have been crazy.  I’ve been stressed.”  Here, under cover of night, he’s vulnerable, explanation tumbling forth uncertainly.  You can hear it in the way the words form, syllables slipping into each other - a sure sign of his exhaustion.  “I know that’s not an excuse, so I’ll be better.”  Though he readjusts, weight distributing differently over the bed, he isn’t touching you.  You can only imagine how he looks, the posture he’s taken on, arms leant over knees, hands twisting together in that way of his that begs a silent help me.  A version of him you’ve seen only a handful of times.  
(Jeon Jungkook does not let things get to him.  Never has, likely never will.  He’s immaculately put together, strung tight by years of growing up too fast, wanting too much and fearing it’ll slip away.  He goes and goes until he can’t any more and only then does he still, crashing headlong over a cliff of his own creation.)
It’s then that you realise while you’ve grown irritated with his preoccupation, coming second to the man you’ve only ever put first, he’s been suffering right alongside you.  Differently, certainly, but suffering nonetheless.  Holding his cards close as he’s always done, shouldering all the things on his own and hoping for the best.
Irritation flares first.  Anger at the fact that he hadn’t confided in you.  It burns bright, erodes everything else in its path.
And then it dims almost immediately, overshadowed by a tenderness that blooms in the small of your chest.  Rosebuds that fill the cavity and swath affection in broad strokes, colouring everything purple - a pretty mosaic made up of equal parts love and sadness.
“You should’ve said something.”  
Bambi-eyed baby is your nickname for your boyfriend - one he reluctantly wears, scowls at when you use it in public - and yet you’re still blown away by the glossiness of his stare, how wide it goes when you roll to face him, simultaneously flicking your bedside light on.  There’s embarrassment crowding his expression, lighting up every handsome facet of his features in technicolour.  He works to hide it almost immediately, moves back on the bed as if he might find himself a home in the shadows.
“I thought you were sleeping,”  he mumbles, not quite looking at you, stare focused on your pillow case, the white linen that you’d bought when you’d moved in together.  “Did I wake you up?”
Though his concern is real, you know it’s a distraction too.  His way of deflecting, shifting the focus back to you.  
(Jeon Jungkook doesn’t live in the spotlight.  Hates it, in fact.  It’s a curious combination - wanting to be praised, to show off, and yet fearing failure so strongly.  A worrying mix when he’s down and an endearing one when he’s up.)
You’re still cocooned, still held far enough away that he hasn’t run for the hills, locking himself in the bathroom to put a further physical barrier between you.  Should you move too fast, you know he’ll spook.  Push too hard, he’ll leave.  
“Couldn’t sleep without you.”  It’s true enough.  Dreams had evaded you for the better part of the evening, held somewhere by hands inked like his, blemished by scars and calluses like his. They’d been kept in his coat pocket, tucked behind his ear.  (So maybe it’d been anger, too, that’d kept you up.  That doesn’t matter now.)
The disbelief is evident, both in his words and the quirk of his mouth, bathed in dim light.  “Really?”
(You sometimes wonder how different the two of you see things.  What a day looks like from his point of view - whether he reads all of your interactions in the same way.  You’ve always been terribly incompatible in that way, opposites in so many respects that it’d frankly baffled your friends when you’d started dating.
You were intent - sometimes too intent - on resolving problems, never letting up.  Forcing conversations you felt you needed to have, demanding answers even before there was one.  He, on the other hand, was uncomfortable with conflict, choosing to ignore the things that bothered him until they went away.  It’d driven you absolutely insane at first, made you worry that it was you that was the issue, simply being too much.  
But over time - three long years, to be exact - you’d found a common ground.  Or so you’d thought.)
“Why are you so surprised?”  
“You were pissed earlier.”  There’s a lightness to his tone, careful consideration poured into each word he offers, as if he’s navigating a minefield.  You’ve had these kinds of disagreements too many times for him to believe otherwise, as if his caution is a part of him, stitched lovingly - forcefully - by your hand.  “Thought you wouldn’t wait up for me.”  
“I shouldn’t have,”  you retort before you can help it, still just a little childish, a little hurt.  “But you know I hate going to bed angry.”  Of course he knows.  He’s lost hours of sleep due to your insistence that everything be talked out. 
He hums a noncommittal sound - more of a grunt - and you know your window is closing.  Now that you’re not out for blood, he’s retreating as he always does.  Readying himself to rise from the bed, close this half-read chapter and move onto the next. 
You beat him before he can, curling your fingers around his wrist, over the dangling silver chain.  (His birthday gift this year, heavy metal that’s cold under your touch.)  
“Don’t.”
One blink.  Another.  Slow and confused - deliberately so.  Then he’s looking away, staring down at the ground as if you haven’t just read his next move.  The ring might be his domain but home is yours;  it’s the one place you hold the upper hand.  “What?”  
“Don’t leave.”  It’s easy to read the meaning in between your words, the unspoken request that might as well be brilliant red ink.  It’s far kinder than your usual demands, more pleading than begrudging, more need than want.  
“I need to shower.”  
It’s not a no - which you suppose is a win. 
“Just wait.”  Your request comes with an adjustment, whole tired frame rising from the bed only to sink back down - this time against your partner, your other half, your infuriating love.  He accepts you readily, dropping his ink-strewn hand over your covered thigh.  The weight is comforting over the warmth of the duvet, grounding you in the quiet of your home.
“I’m gross,”  he complains, though he doesn’t make to move away.  Stays right by your side when you drop your head against his bare shoulder.  “Now you’re gross.”
“We can be gross together.”  Because you’re not ready for him to leave you, to close the door as he so often does.  (And, for once, you’re not quite as angry, not seeking an argument that’ll give you the resolution you hope for.  You want communication, open and honest.  You want him, vulnerable and soft.)
A little sigh comes, a puff of breath that expands his doughy cheeks and sends wayward strands fluttering.  It’s less resigned and more endeared - you know how much it means when his acquiesces like this.  
Maybe he wants those same things, you think.  
“Do you wanna shower?”  You ask in perfect tandem, words folding together.  You nod in the same way.
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Encased in the small space - it’s different.  He’s preoccupied, back turned to you, shielding you from the slow-heating stream.  It’s as if his mind is a thousand lightyears away, trapped somewhere with the stars as the water rains down around the two of you, fogging the glass and wetting his hair. 
“Babe?”  
There’s a delay before he reacts, peering over his shoulder at you, a faraway look in his eyes.  You wonder what he’d been thinking of, whether he’s still on the same page as you or if he’s skipped ahead as he tends to do.  When he speaks, you have your answer, his words flicking through paper to bring you two where you need to be.  
“Can you wash my hair?”  An indulgent treat he rarely requests, one he seldom allows.  He’s far too on the go, jumping from this to that to spend much time like this with you. 
It’s a sign if there ever was one. 
You reach for your shampoo bottle wordlessly, popping the cap and depositing sweet peach-scented liquid into your hands.  They fold into his strands carefully, tips of your fingers pressing into his scalp, delightful bubbles accumulating between your digits.  He doesn’t make a sound but you feel the way he relaxes, practically melting into your touch as you work the cleanser through his roots, careful to keep the suds from descending into his eyes. 
When was the last time you’d done this?  Weeks ago?  Months, maybe?  You honestly can’t recall.  (Not that it matters now.  You’ve found yourselves back here, terribly tender and intimate in the dead of night.  Almost as if no time has passed at all.)
Silence stretches between the two of you.  You don’t even need to instruct him to rinse, running seamlessly through the routine without hesitation. 
Conditioner replaces shampoo, deft fingers combing through the few knots in his feather soft strands.  Though there are hardly any, you know he loves when you take extra care, treating him in ways he’d never ask for otherwise.  He savours these quiet moments of almost-solitude, spoiled rotten by your familiar touch and comforting affection.  
You’d give it every single day if you could.  Had, in fact. 
That’s what’d brought you here, after all. 
“‘m sorry,”  he says - mumbles really - surprising you as you’re working your fingers into the nape of his neck, concentrating on the tension that’s carved out a home beneath muscle and sinew, turned bone iron-clad. 
“For what?” 
Any other time, it might’ve come across demanding, needing an answer that would soothe whatever inadequacy he’d somehow strung your heart up with.  Now, it’s genuine, asked more for him than you.  
You want to be let in.  Need it. 
“Being out of it, I guess.”  It’s a lot for him - admitting this.  “I’ve just been busy and I guess I kind of just—“  The imposing line of his shoulders rise and fall, a mountain range disturbed by the uncertainty in his voice.  
“Forgot about me?”  You don’t mean it meanly.  It’s a simple statement of fact, one the both of you have to face. 
“Yeah.  Something like that.”
You deliberate accepting the apology and moving on, sweeping it under the rug because he’s already come so much further than you’d thought he would.  But that’s not the kind of person you are, so you press just a little more, stand just a little taller. 
“I don’t think I ask for the world, Kook.”  Maybe more than some people.  Maybe less than others.  “If I’m being too much, I’d rather you let me know than shut me out.”
A sigh comes, so heavy you wonder whether he might be Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.  
“No, I know.”  
“Do you?”
(At some point you’d stopped massaging the conditioner in, opting to crowd your hands over his back, working into the knots that run beneath his skin.  He hadn’t been lying - he’s stiff as a board, entire broad form twitching any time you press the pads of your thumbs into a particularly sensitive spot.)
“I thought I’d figure it out myself,”  he reasons, in that oh-so impossible Jeon Jungkook way of his.  “Didn't realise it was taking a toll on you.” 
“On us,”  you correct, not at all tactful.  
“On us,”  he agrees with another sigh, smaller this time, tinged blue with something that feels like guilt and fills up the glass space. 
“We’re a team, you know.” 
(You know he knows.  You just have to remind him sometimes, anchor him with the knowledge that it’s not him against the world.  That you’re in his corner - always.)
“I know.” 
When he turns to look at you - doesn’t even flinch when the sudden movement has you wobbling on your feet, catches you when you stumble - you don’t doubt that.  He loves you just as much as you love him, sees the whole world in the small of your stare.  
“I’m sorry,”  he says again, two hands coming to cradle your face, palms warm over each cheek.  “Just give me some time.”  For what, you’re not sure.  You don’t mind waiting to find out though - willing to weather the storm just to see him happy.  
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Jungkook holds you close, threads his fingers through yours and peppers love into the silk of your hair.  Dresses your skin in the heat of his affection and sears his signature into the velvet of your skin, teeth dragging, tongue gliding.  
“Is this better?”  He means how he holds you, how he treats you like porcelain as he fucks you slow and tender, keeps one leg hooked back over his own. 
It’s not that this is the kind of lovemaking you prefer but rather the one you need, with him consuming you wholly, sweetly, filling you with each fluid roll of his hips and nothing else.  No elaborate dirty talk, no overzealous bouncing, just the two of you together, curled against each other like you might not survive otherwise.  
He’s not pushing you to your finish with deft fingers over your clit, not taking his fill with greedy hands.  He’s simply there, with you, feeling every curve of your body as he sinks into your aching cunt and sighs as if he’s in heaven.  (And maybe he is - because where he is could only ever be where you are and you feel like you’re floating, weightless and lovestruck, anchored only to your bed by the hand that squeezes yours and the mouth that purrs your name.) 
“Yes,”  you breathe, exhale in a breath that seems to take all of your effort.  It’s hard to focus when he splits you open so well, fills your pussy and your heart and makes your chest erupt with a kaleidoscope of butterflies. 
“I love you, sweetheart.”
When he says it like that - folds it like a promise and tucks it into the spot behind your ear - you know it’s true.  Even if you don’t always feel it, even if he doesn’t always show it, there’s not a doubt in your mind. 
In all the ways he can, he loves you.  And whether that means enough from one day to the next, you don’t mind sticking around to find out.  Not if it means more of this. 
(Of him, of you, of your life together.)
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tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @snackhobi @codeinebelle
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sixeyesgojo · 3 years
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kiss it better
Summary: You had a shitty day at the store. Gojo is here to comfort you <3
Characters: Gojo x Reader
Word count: 1100
A/N: The past few weeks have been super rough - personal matters and on top of that, natural disasters + "I could lose my closest friends thanks to this" type of rough - so I wrote this pretty self-indulgently because I seriously need to be comforted lol. But that doesn't mean you can't imagine yourself in it!! The fanart is fem reader but I don't think I indicated any gender in the fic. Shoutout to the folks who work with customers, you guys are doing an amazing job! Thank you.
This entire fic was inspired by the art by the amazing @yuusagi-chii that I commissioned; check out her blog and leave a reblog on her artworks!! ♥ - posted with permission from the artist
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There had been nothing to do. The whole time, Satoru was just lazing on the couch, legs stretched out on the entire thing, and waiting for you to come home as the television showed nothing but garbage.
As soon as they perceived the sound of your dangling keys in front of the door, Satoru’s ears perked up. He had been so bored all day, not knowing what to do on his free day; he was used to being busy all day, every day, around the clock. The lethargy got to the extent where he cleaned every nook and cranny in your shared home, did all the laundry for the week, reorganized the cupboard where his treasures were stored and even took a nap. Originally, he had planned to kidnap you to go on a date with him but unfortunately, your workplace said otherwise, wrecking his not-so-planned-out plan. Admittedly, it did piss him off a little but there was nothing to be done. Satoru just missed you incredibly much since he was usually gone for most days.
Your heavy footsteps that came from the entrance hall, the way your keys seemed to make louder noise than usual and the soft sigh he could hear all indicated that you had a shitty day so far. It really wasn’t rocket science for Satoru to notice little things about you. Probably entitled customers again, he thought. Satoru was well aware that working in a customer-oriented branch had to be unrewarding, draining even. Still, he wanted to tantalize you a bit, to lighten the mood and ease his boredom a little – he would do that on normal days.
However, ‘normal’ was quickly discarded when he saw your face: a hefty scowl and… were those teary eyes? His previous demeanor immediately dropped and a serious one took over. This was definitely not okay.
Satoru had noticed the last few weeks had been a little rough on you. On normal days, teasing you was his favorite thing to do and quite frankly, it was enjoyable to you as well as it lifted your mood after a stressful shift… but today must have been the tipping point and he knew better than to tease you in times like these. The last thing he wanted to be was the cause of your tears.
“Had a rough day?” Satoru asked as he met you in the hallway, wasting no time to slip his arms around your body. Crushing into his chest, you simply nodded without looking at him. You feared that if you did, tears would fall and you would no longer be in control of your emotions. The entire time you spent at work had been filled with some particularly grumpy customers you had to tend to. You had to deal with utterly disrespectful behavior towards you. Yet, you had to stay friendly and polite when, throughout the day, there had been several instances that made you want to quit your job right then and there.
Today had been terrible, so being in the amenity of your home felt uncommonly relieving. In addition to that, being in the comforting space of Satoru’s gentle hug washed off your exhaustion. It was fine to bask in the solace of his embrace for a moment, wasn’t it? Was it okay for you to give in a little and enjoy the moment for all its worth?
“Do you want to talk about it?” “Just the usual trouble but way worse for some reason,” you mumbled into his chest, just loud enough for him to hear. “Tell me about it, baby. It’s better if you get it off of your chest as soon as possible.”
You breathed out, the emotional dam you’ve built today finally breaking, “It’s just… people suck… They s-snap at me for the smallest things… and I know some of those incidents are just part of the job – I really get it a-and I try so hard to stay polite but… it’s just… very hard.”
Throughout your ramblings – how a customer had yelled at you for a minor mistake, how another one treated you like something lesser because of something that was not your mistake, how people would insist on being right and more – he listened intently to each and every word… All the while, Satoru had gently stroked your back with his palm to calm you down. “Say, Toru…there must be something wrong with me for them… to treat me like this, isn’t there?” you finally asked. “No, honey. You are perfectly fine,” he said, suppressing how pissed he actually was at the people who dared treating you badly. “Their attitude just sucks and they don’t deserve being served by someone beautiful like you. Maybe I should give them a piece of my mind some day…” “I just— I don’t even know. People are so mean… and for w-what? Is kindness in this world really that hard to find?” you lamented, choking back a sob as you buried your face deeper into him.
“Can I help you feel better in any way? Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” Satoru asked sweetly but the frown on his face made his worry very evident. He didn’t like it at all whenever you came back emotionally drained like this. All Satoru wanted to do was to go and ‘teach them a well-deserved lesson’ but he knew well that it would be against your wishes, so he had no choice but to sit back and be there for you when you needed him the most.
“Let me pamper and spoil my angel for today, hm?” he whispered affectionately, pressing kisses to the top of your head. Finally, you raised your head to look at him. The teary stains on your cheeks and sad expression broke his heart and he swore you could hear it cracking in his ribcage. “I just want you to hold me right now, wanna feel you close to me and nothing more,” you admitted and slung your arms around him tightly.
Promptly taking the chance, Satoru placed a sweet and loving kiss on your forehead. The sensation of his lips on your skin eased a big part of your discomfort away, making you sigh in comfort for the first time in what felt like decades. The effect this man had on you was inexplicable; the way he had the power to make you feel better by simply being there was truly magical. It made your heart flutter in a thousand ways and more.
“Then I’ll have no choice but to kiss it better.”
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Taglist (open): @satosuguslut @assbuttbaek @melonnbar @delammi @silversatoru @princesatoru
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Streetdogs and Chest Compressions // Evan Buckley
IN WHICH: Reader reconnected with her estranged younger brother in the cruelest of ways as the 118 is called the scene of three young men suffering after eating streetdogs. Unfortunately, this is how Buck meets the future brother in law he had no clue even existed.
Warnings: Swearing, family problems (aka estranged), withholding personal information, angst, medical emergency, and fluff
Words: 4.7k
A/N: This fic is a crossover between Julie and the Phantoms and 9-1-1 in which Luke, Reggie and Alex eat the streetdogs in modern times. Don’t worry, someone still dies. Reader’s nickname is Spitfire 
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It seemed Los Angeles was taking pity on the 118 with not even a single fire to be put out or medical needed. It was slow. Painfully slow, and you weren't even halfway through the twenty-four-hour shift. Hen and Chimney had taken the circular table for a card game, Bobby was reading a new cookbook. Eddie's Abuela had brought Christopher to the firehouse for his online schooling, the Diaz's wifi was malfunctioning. Buck and you had snuck off the bunk room to catch some sleep.
"Lazy movie day?" Buck asked with his arms tightly wound around your hips. Your form almost rested entirely on his front due to the narrow bunk.
"Wouldn't have it any other way." You replied to the content man underneath you. You could only hum as he shifted to kiss the top of your head, "Now shh. I want to slee-"
The bell sounded before you could even finish your sentence, "And what I didn't want to happen just had to spite me."
Buck and you hurried to quickly pull on your turnout gear before hopping into the respective seats you used. Eddie across from you, Buck driving with Bobby in the Captain seat. Hen and Chimney in the ambulance tailing you.
"We have three males in their late teens. Ate hotdogs in an alley before collapsing in the process." Bobby informed his team all the while he watched the road, "One is profusely puking, one's unconscious, and the last one is stable."
"Thinking it's food poisoning? That sudden?" Buck inquired with a swift glance from his position of driving. Bobby shrugged in response just as Buck eased the fire truck to a half near a crowded alley.
You were the first one out of the firetruck with your medical bag and halfway to the alley before the team could get out.
"Make some room!" You shouted among the heavily populated area, curious about the medical emergency.
Everything slowed down as you pushed between the last two people into something you called your worst nightmare. Three teenage individuals settled on their sides in unconscious states had been a fixture in your youth. Your eyes stayed pinned on the prone figure of your little brother.
It was like being underwater. Nothing could be heard, and it felt like you were in the process of drowning. It was the first time seeing Luke since you stormed out of your family home back when you were eighteen years old.
It was the same old unchanging story playing for months now with only the new addition of an audience. It was the middle of a blistering summer in Los Angeles, but it was the most heated in the Patterson household. You'd been at the movies with your best friends while your mother, Emily, was putting your laundry away.
Emily's hand had bumped your dresser by accident in her process of closing your socks drawer. The Patterson matriarch and her husband would never invade their children's rooms, but her keen eye had noticed the pamphlet; nothing serious like teen pregnancy but it was surprising.
Emily was holding a recruitment pamphlet for the Los Angeles Fire Department marked with your handwriting. Her heart dropped in sync with the front door slamming shut.
"I'm home!" You called out from the entrance. You didn't hear as your mother wandered into the open space. Her eyes flaring in both anger and fear; when a person is scared, they lash out.
That's what Emily did.
"What is this?"
Your eyes found the item in her hand that genuinely made your blood freeze in your veins. This was not how you'd wanted her to find out about your career decision.
"I'm applying. I graduated high school, and hopefully, I'll be train-"
"Like hell, you will! You're going to college and getting a real job! This won't take you anywhere Y/N Y/M/N Patterson!" Emily snapped just as Mitch came through the back door with your ten-year-old brother Luke.
"What's going on?" Mitch questioned as soon as he felt the tension between mother and daughter. Luke was quiet amongst the adults speaking.
"Your daughter isn't going to college. She's going to be a firefighter.
"Spitfire?"
A smooth hand startled you with the clap on your shoulder and Hen looking at you, "Are you okay?"
"I-" You shakily attempted to speak but alas had to be gently settled on the ground before you keeled over and hurt yourself. Your uniform, long sleeves this time, felt constricting as the guilt nearly swallowed you whole.
"Hey, Cap? I think I know why those three are like that." Buck called out from a sketchy grill by an even sketchier condiments table. The table being a rusted Oldsmobile manned by a greasy dude and his girl.
Even from a distance, you could smell the chemicals wafting off the unsanitary set up that would put a health inspector in a casket. 
"One's waking up!" Chimney spoke from the slump of pink and denim fabric. A curtain of blonde '90s style hair mussed on his head.
"Look, Y/N, I need you to dig deep to help these three boys. They have long lives ahead of them and need our A-game." Hen spoke with her hands, already checking one of the teens for broken bones.
Your eyes closed with a deep breath before you moved towards the boy on the other side. Eddie shifted to allow you room to check him over.
"Strong pulse. Breathing is good." You clinically informed your team, "Eddie can-"
"What happened?" The gruff voice spoke from behind you. As expected, Alex's voice had deepened in the years you'd gone without seeing Luke or his friends.
"You got this one?" You asked Eddie without waiting for a response; you were by Chim's side with a soft smile. Alex's eyes widened momentarily, "Hey Alex."
"Y/N?" Alex nearly gasped in shock. His shock seemed contagious as your entire team from the 118 caught it, "What's going on?"
"You ate some bad hotdogs and needed our help. We're gonna get you to the hospital. I'm worried you ingested battery acid." You spoke, understanding that Alex would prefer details instead of the lack thereof. Even from an early age, he'd been anxious.
"Oh. Are the guys okay?" Alex softly asked with his eye blinking as a strand of his blonde hair caught in his eyelashes. You slowly nodded in response without really knowing the status of Reggie and Luke.
"Eddie, Buck, can you get him loaded in the ambulance?" You called over your shoulder once you'd finished your thorough examination of Alex. The sound of boots on the hard ground appeared before they appeared.
Eddie and Buck swiftly loaded him on a gurney, but Alex's eyes widened, "Why are there two hot guys touching me? Oh my god. Do you see the cute guys too?"
You snickered as Alex's failed attempt at a stage whisper, "Yes. Alex."
"I've been blessed as a gay man." Alex breathed with a cute little grin plastered on his face, "Maybe I should eat more streetdogs-"
"NO!" Eddie, Buck, and you collectively shouted in response to Alex's delirious comment. He was loaded into the ambulance beside Reggie's gurney.
"I'm gonna jump in with the other guy in the ambulance." You quickly informed your boyfriend and Eddie. Each shared a look before Eddie slammed his fist on the back of this ambulance. It rolled away, and you jogged to the one Hen was driving.
Buck was there giving you a hand into the back of the ambulance with one of the other paramedics. You couldn't meet his eye when you were staring at the unconscious but thankfully alive body of your little brother. Your eyes couldn't be pulled away even as the ambulance started driving away.
Buck momentarily stared after the leaving vehicle until it turned a corner leaving him with his crew and questions. Eddie kept by Buck's side on the return to the firetruck in unusual silence. It wasn't often that Buck was quiet.
"What do you think that was about?" Eddie inquired as the truck pulled onto the street to follow the ambulances to the hospital, "Y/N knew the conscious one-"
"-and the one in the ambulance she jumped in. Kept staring at him like he'd disappear out of her sight." Buck supplied, staring out the window to the passing buildings. His blue eyes are unable to focus on the looks Bobby was sending.
Bobby attempted to bring Buck into a conversation, but each attempt was a failure. Neither Bobby nor Eddie knew how to make him feel better or why he was feeling off. 
Whereas you kept a hawk-eye on your brother's stats the entirety of the drive. The ambulance had only just entered the parking lot when his stats dropped. A long beep sounded, alerting you that Luke's heart had stopped.
"Goddamnit." You swore as you started leaning over Luke to start compressions. In order to continue compressions, you clambered into the gurney as the back doors opened.
"Hold compressions!" Eddie exclaimed once, seeing the situation, "No pulse."
You continued even as the gurney entered the hospital, and a doctor was there, "We got it."
You did as the doctor had subtly implied by climbing off the gurney, leaving the medical professionals to continue. You followed your brother's unconscious body to the surprise of the 118; you had never tried to follow the patient. It was more of Buck's issue.
"Y/N, our job ends here. You know that." Bobby spoke with Hen, Chimney, Eddie and Buck flanking his sides. Your e/c eyes shifted between the brown of your Captain's eyes and the blue of your boyfriend's eyes.
"It doesn't end when I just did compressions on my little brother." You informed him, "Write me up. Suspend me if you want, but I need to be in there."
Bobby's eyes softened, "Your shift is almost over. Just come in early on your next shift; you can make breakfast."
"Thanks, Bobby." You softly informed the man who'd become both your boss and a pseudo father. He only nodded in response with your friends beside him with different expressions, "I should get in there."
Without waiting for another response, you'd already entered the ER through the ambulance bay sliding doors. You went straight to the nursing desk with sure steps.
"Hi, I was in the ambulance that brought in a young male teenager. Shaggy brunette hair, caucasian. He was in a separate ambulance from his two friends." You spoke once the head nurse had turned his attention to you, "He was getting compressions on his way in. Name Luke Patterson."
"Are you asking as a paramedic?" Jude questioned with his fingers tapping the keys of the computer. 
"No. He's my brother." You sighed, bringing the sympathetic brown eyes of Jude to look at you. The look changed a degree when he read the sentences on the screen.
"Are you aware your brother ran away from home? There's a social worker on her way."
Your jaw dropped in surprise, "Ran away? He ran away?!"
Jude flinched at the screech of words you accidentally released to both your and Jude's horror in the quiet ER. Jude turned the screen to show a digital missing person's poster with your brother's face on it.
"He's awake." Jude supplied, having deciphered and guessed correctly you'd gone a while without seeing your brother, "I'm off shift now, but I can bring you to him. I'll let the social worker know."
The nerves grew each step closer to the room your brother was stationed in for the time being with Reggie for comfort in the neighbouring bed. Part of you wished Luke would be asleep to avoid the confrontation about to happen. Only Luke's hazel eyes turned to see him in his pause of puking.
"Hey." You softly breathed into the quiet room. Luke's breath caught in his throat, "You ran away?"
"Guess we're more alike than we thought. We both run when it gets tough." Luke's words were all snark and poison to your heart. His hazel eyes glaring into your own eyes with anger that covered up the pain, "Hope this is just a delirious episode."
Your eyes squeezed closer, "Luke-"
"What? Are you gonna apologize for abandoning me? The only reason you're reaching out is that you happened to be the medic!"
You could physically feel your heart clench, "No. I tried reaching out. Mom and dad don't answer the phone. You didn't have a phone, and like hell, they'd give me the number either. The letters and-"
"Excuse me? Ms. Patterson." Both Luke and your attention shifted the entrance. A well put together woman stood with a clipboard, "I'm Beth. A social worker and I'm afraid you aren't allowed to speak with Luke alone."
"I'm his sister."
"Barely." Luke hissed, avoiding looking at you by looking over at Reggie, "I'd like to be alone."
"I can respect that. Here's my number if you need anything, Luke. Seriously, night or day, I'll answer. I know how it was living in that house, but you have someone to run to. Me." You firmly told the stubborn teenager, "Listen to Beth. You can't live on the streets Luke, it's not fair to you or anyone else. I'll ask my friend to keep an eye on you."
Had you not noticed Luke's jaw clenching, you'd have thought he hadn't heard you, "Whatever."
"Beth, have Reggie or Alex's parents come yet?"
Beth nodded, "I'm not supposed to reveal that, but yes Mr and Mrs Peters are talking to the doctor. Alex was moved into a room. They'll all make a full recovery."
You cast one last look at your little brother curled up in the hospital bed, a stark similarity to the night you returned home, only for your things.
It wasn't an accident you chose to return to your childhood home on Thursday night with the schedule on the fridge memorized. Every second Thursday, your mom attended the PTA meetings for Luke's school. Your father would be home but most likely asleep in his recliner, but if he was awake, it wouldn't be bad.
Your father was more lenient than your mother, even if he shared the same mentality.
"I was wondering when you'd come back," Mitch spoke from his recliner with the side table holding his drink. A glass of your mom's homemade lemonade, "Your mom-"
"I'm not staying." You firmly spoke on your way to the hallways where the bedrooms were positioned. You could hear the soft steps of your father's well-worn slippers.
"What?"
"Look, Dad, you can't leave the house, but I can. I'm not staying in this place with her stifling ideas. This is my life. Just because she decided to be a stay at home, mom doesn't mean she gets to make my decisions and live through me." You informed the man while shoving clothing, items, toiletries, among other things, in the suitcase.
"Y/N, firstly, that is not how to speak about your mother. She sacrificed to take care of this family. Luke looks up at you, don't give him a bad impression of our family."
"No."
"If you walk out that door without apologizing, then you are not welcome back until you do so." Mitch's voice came out in that fatherly authoritarian tone. The no-nonsense look in his eye nailing the coffin in your decision.
"I'm not apologizing for choosing a career of helping other people. Of being a step for someone to live and not die. So what if it's not a teacher, a lawyer or some other bullshit 'acceptable' career. I love you, dad. I love mom too and Luke. But I'm not subjecting myself to a desk job with no drive in it."
"Where will you stay?"
"I have a place. I'll call to talk with Luke. I won't 'poison' his mind with ill thoughts of mom. But I won't lie to him either."
Mitch was stock still as you glanced into the bedroom next to your childhood bedroom. Luke's room was still decorated with spaceships and stuffed animals. Your eyes watched the rising of Luke's back as he breathed from his curled up position.
You couldn't help but walk to kneel at his side. Your hand brushed his soft hair from his forehead. You drank in the look of pure content and innocence on his sleeping face.
"Y/N?" Luke mumbled with his bleary eyes blinking, "You're home."
"I have to head out. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Okay," Luke spoke mere seconds before his breathing evened out once more.
That was the last night you'd been in the home. Luke sat next to the landline phone the next night, waiting for a call that never came. Your parents had unhooked the line. Luke sat on a stool beside it for weeks before his hopes soured.
If only you'd known leaving your parents would mean souring your relationship with your brother. Than maybe you would have reached out for his benefit and your self-proclaiming selfishness
"Thought you'd need a ride," Buck spoke from his position leaning against the wall still in his uniform. There was definitely a new tension in the air between you and him, "We'll grab our things from the house than go home."
"Thank you." You softly spoke to Buck. The weight of keeping your family secret dragged your shoulders down. You couldn't help but wonder if this was gonna cause a fracture in your relationship.
"No matter what. I'll always be here." Buck told you with his arms coming to wrap around your shoulders. He led you through the ER, you'd waved at the shocked parents of both Alex and Reggie, "Who-"
"Luke's friends' parents."
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"Okay, so your family lives just outside of the city in Los Felix?"
"Feliz. They live in Los Feliz, from what I know. I haven't been back since I was eighteen." You chuckled, "I want to stress that my parents are abusive or neglectful. Not even bad, but my mom had this idea of what my life should be like."
Buck hummed with his right arm around your waist, and his left casually balanced on his outstretched leg. A bottle of beer loosely gripped in his left hand.
"How old is Luke?"
"He'll be eighteen in August. When I left, he was ten." You mused, leaning into Buck's side, "I think that's why Maddie and I get along so well. We're both big sisters with a significant age gap to our brother."
Buck hummed, "Why did you keep it from me?"
"It hurt. It still hurts just thinking about it. They unhooked the landline the night after I went back for my things." You recalled the agony at having an olive branch snapped off, "I promised to call Luke, and I wasn't able to; they'd disconnected the landline. Imagining the look of hurt on Luke's face was enough to keep me from physically reaching out."
"I wish you had trusted me." Buck finally admitted with the last swig of his beer in the middle of his words, "We're engaged. We're looking at houses, but you never told me about your parents. About your brother. Above your life before the 118."
"Buck. I trust you with my life." You urgently informed the firefighter. Your hands cupped his cheeks to ensure his eyes focused on yours. You wanted him to see the truth, "You are the most important piece of my life. You and the 118 made me feel at home from the moment I joined. Buck, you are my family."
That look courtesy of his parents' actions faded ever so slightly from his eyes, "You guys are my family too."
"I'd like you to meet my little brother when we can reconcile." You announced into the cool summer night. Your drink had been long gone in the process of working through seeing your brother again, "I never thought I'd see him as a patient I'd have to help. Seeing him pale and unconscious nearly destroyed me."
"But he made it."
"He texted me 'didn't die' with the rock 'n roll hand emoji." You deadpanned, recalling the emotional two days for news. You were kinda shocked that Luke had even reached out at all.
Buck couldn't have successfully hidden his laugh if you weren't currently leaning against his body.
"So Albert found an apartment. He won't be moving with us." Buck changed the subject with the same ease he'd always held at knowing you. This was just another one of the moments you were thankful for having him by your side.
"So now there's not a reason to search for a bigger house?" You questioned with a crease between your eyebrows.
In the last two years, several significant changes have been impacting all areas of your life, especially the personal aspect. Buck had proposed during a picnic hike about a year ago with the mutual agreement for a long engagement; his parents didn't believe it was for anything other than pregnancy. Additionally, working in the same firehouse made planning difficult and then your apartment lease bringing the conversation of houses.
Originally Albert would rent part of the home out, so it needed at least three bedrooms.
"I mean, we don't have to not look. We've talked about children and settling down." Buck softly offered with a hesitant smile on his face, "I wanted to talk to you about it, but do you think we could talk about a possible time to start trying-"
"Y/N?"
The two adults went on high alert as Luke wandered into the gated garden your apartment building had. Buck's arm slid off your body as soon as you climbed to your feet at the sight of Luke.
"Luke?" You softly gasped, revelling in the sight of your little brother. Physically he looked fine with the addition of bloodshot eyes, "What's wrong?"
"I-I didn't have anywhere else to go." Luke choked out, sliding the battered old backpack off his shoulder onto the duffle at his feet. Luke's hazel eyes glimmering in the setting sun, "I got into a fight with mom and dad."
"Please tell me you didn't run away again." You heavily sighed in your movement to grab his backpack from the ground. Buck was quick to grab the duffle bag from the ground.
"I'll get the air mattress. Let Albert know not to bring his date home." Buck murmured in your ear low enough only you could hear, "I'll heat up the leftover Chinese."
The Patterson siblings watched as Buck entered the opening to the back of the building's secured backyard. Luke's backpack slung over his shoulder, and the duffle in his right hand.
"How did you find where I live?" You asked the emotionally seventeen-year-old with those puppy dog eyes. The eyes with the colour you wished you had inherited instead of your e/c.
"I saw 118 on the inside of the ambulance. I found the firehouse, and after procuring 'evidence', one of the paramedics told me where to find you." Luke shrugged, "I would have gone to Bobby's garage we use as a studio, but...he bailed on us. Reggie tries to get away from his place, and Alex's are assholes."
"The Peters are still married?" You scoffed, recalling the tense moments between little Reggie's parents. A cloud followed the couple around everywhere they went together, and Reggie was always caught in the middle.
"If-if this overstepping, I can find another place-" Luke began to respond on the walk down the inside hall to your apartment door.
"And make my struggle with the cursed object redundant?" Buck joked from the kitchen with a plate filled with warmed up food. Maybe the universe had a plan when Buck accidently over-ordered food from the restaurant.
"Luke, just stay here. You can have something to eat and rest up. But we need to talk about this. Running away is never a solution to your problems." Your stern voice reminded you of your mother when you broke the rules, "You need to let mom and dad know you're crashing at my place. They don't know my address."
"We got your back." Buck cemented to the quiet teenage boy that he saw a lot of himself in. A little kid living in the shadow left by an older sibling, only Luke's still lived.
"Oh!" You exclaimed with a shake of your head, "I'm sorry. Buck, this is my little brother Luke. Luke, this is Evan, my fiance."
Luke's eyes widened at the title, "Hi."
"Everyone calls me Buck."
Buck, Luke, and you shared stories of your lives in the times you'd gone without each other while Luke ate. By the time he shovelled the last bite of chow mein in his mouth, you'd caught up enough for the time being. He used the shower and settled into the air mattress sheets on the floor a fair distance from the couch Albert slept on.
"So I guess we'll be finding that house anyway?" Buck inquired under the stream of water from the showerhead. His hands massaging the shampoo into your scalp, the action intimate without a sexual motive behind it.
"How-"
"I could see it in your eye. We can see if your parents would be willing to meet up to talk about Luke. Maybe have him stay with us temporarily, give them space without your parents not knowing where he is." Buck murmured as he caressed your sides with his calloused hands. His forehead leaning down on your own forehead.
"I haven't been home in years. I'm not sure how they'd take us stepping on their toes."
"Then we tell them how it is. Their decision drove their youngest child away, and that almost killed him. He's almost eighteen, and then he can make his own legal decisions. Be the person we both wish had been there when we were his age."
And that's what you did. Buck and you met up with your parents at your childhood home to your horror and Buck's delight. He'd never gotten to see pictures of a younger you, but Maddie had brought his baby pictures for you to see the first time you met her. While your mom had fixed some of her lemonade Buck had toured the photos hanging on the wall.
The conversation itself was tense and combative, but in the end, your parents agreed that they'd prefer Luke to be safe than missing. Life was looking up. 
"Hey," Buck murmured with his arms wrapped around your midsection. His blonde scruff scratching your cheek as he slumped over you, "Is that-?"
"Evie's babysitter?" You supplied with a raised eyebrow towards your now husband's laser focus on your brother.
After your relationship with your parents started healing, you had walked down the aisle in white to Buck. You had settled into the dream house with Luke taking one of the bedrooms. The other bedroom put to use when you got pregnant with Evelyn, Evie for short, to your shared joy.
"He likes her." Buck teased, watching the interaction between the two young adults on the main floor of the 118 fire house.
Eight-month-old Evie chewed on a rattle in the arms of her careful hold of her babysitter, but Evie's eyes watched her uncle. Luke, however, was focused on the beautiful and smart girl he knew from high school; they knew of each other but never acknowledged each other. Luke had already graduated when they first came into each other's worlds. Julie threw herself into babysitting to distract herself from both music and her mother's death.
"She's why the band doesn't practice in our garage?" 
"It's a whole thing." You mused with a shake of your hand, "She lost her mom and music. By complete chance, he walked in on her, singing a song to settle Evie. One thing led to another, and Luke formed Julie and the Phantoms with her, Reggie and Alex."
"They formed a band?" Buck beamed, hearing the recent news, "I thought they'd never find their way back to it."
Around the time of your wedding, Bobby had a family emergency involving his uncle Trevor and his cousin Carrie. You'd gone back to work shortly only to be called to the scene of a fatal accident, the victim being Bobby Wilson.
"Julie is Luke's ideal girl. Good with kids, kind, smart, shy, and shares the same passion for music. They bring out the best in each other. They brought music back to each other." You informed your husband with that lovesick grin that was resigned solely for his impulsive ass.
"Kinda like us?"
"Yeah. Like us."
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Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 5.5 Bonus
Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for language Warnings: None Summary: Local feral human spends some time with their new family. Four short bits featuring Daphne (Maiden OC), Bela, Lady D, Daniela, and a surprise guest. Enjoy. Previous Chapters: 1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring; 2: Bloodbath, Baby!, 3: Haunt Me Dearly, 4: Portraits For Ghosts, 5: Heart Of The Matter
5.5: Family
i.
“Wait, you’re telling me that you came here willingly?” You asked, mouth agape, eyes wide. It felt like every time you talked to Daphne she had something incredible to say. Which was, of course, why she was your favorite maiden to talk to. That, and the fact that she had adapted so quickly to your ‘charming personality’. So far she was the only servant you had been willing to be honest with. Mainly about your feelings regarding your blood bond, but also just about your relationship with Cassandra in general. Something about Daphne simply made her incredibly approachable. From what you had heard, you weren’t the only one to think as such, with her being fairly popular among the castle workers.
“More of us do than you might expect. Some consider it an honor to serve one of the four Lords, and Castle Dimitrescu is certainly… nicer than either the factory or the reservoir. Personally, I came here for a friend of mine. She, well, had less of a choice. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being here without knowing anyone, so it felt like I only had one option. Can’t say I regret my decision, if you can believe it,” Daphne explained, folding laundry all the while. At the same time, you carefully sort through the not yet washed clothing, separating them into two baskets. After all, you wouldn’t want Lady Dimitrescu to end up with a pink dress! Technically this wasn’t your job, nor did you have a job at all, but you hated having idle hands- especially when talking to someone who was working. At first Daphne had protested, but she had given in upon realizing just how stubborn you could be.
“That’s… impressive. I mean, holy shit, that's a real ride or die friendship right there. Is she, uh, is your friend still, you know, around?” You stuttered, cursing your tongue for asking such a thing. If the answer was no, you were going to feel like a real asshole. Which, admittedly, you had a tendency to be. But this wasn’t one of the times where it was intentional. Thankfully, Daphne is all smiles, and even seems amused by your spluttering.
“Yes, we’re even roommates. Well, us and five others. Possibly with a sixth one on the way, if we ever get someone to fill the empty space,” she replies, pausing to think. Then she’s back to work, refusing to waste any time. “Speaking of roommates… I know I said I’m not one for gossip, and I meant it, but a little songbird told me that Cassandra seems to be in a much better mood these days. Are the two of you, well, getting along? It would be nice to know that soulmates can overcome even the roughest of introductions.” There’s a hint of something odd in her tone, and you take a moment to wonder what she’s (unintentionally) hinting at. Had she met her soulmate, only for things to go poorly?... Before answering her, you make a mental note, deciding to see if any of the other maidens had a scar across their nose.
“It’s not like she and I are dating or anything. We’re just, you know, not hating each other. Currently,” you said, shrugging. But Daphne raises an eyebrow at you, and you find yourself instinctively feeling guilty, somehow feeling small next to the shortest person you knew. “Alright, alright, we might have… Okay we kissed. And promised each other not to die, because having your soulmate die hurts like hell. Also maybe she showed me her mom’s art collection and I made a joke about the titty sculptures because holy shit, this house has a lot of titties.” At this, Daphne bursts into laughter, grinning from ear to ear.
“Amen to that, for sure.”
ii.
“So… fan of science, I see,” you say, awkwardly, bouncing a little on your heels. Next to you is the eldest Dimitrescu daughter, who had unexpectedly joined your table in the library. There were several other places she could have sat, with both more comfortable seating and more workspace, but for some reason she had chosen here. So far she hadn’t said a word. Hell, you hadn’t spoken to her since your first meeting, where she had suggested killing you. Naturally, you weren’t quite sure what to make of her. Something told you that she felt much the same about yourself.
“Fan of oversimplification, I see,” Bela counters, after a few tense seconds. Then she sets down her book- a heavy text about Romanian avian fauna- to give you her full attention. “It would be more accurate to say that I enjoy studying biology, particularly the branch of zoology.” Well, this conversation was certainly… happening. Honestly, you couldn’t tell whether she was legitimately judging you, or merely chaffing you for her own amusement.
“You’ll have to, er, forgive me for being overly broad. Consider it a side effect of my nerves, those themselves being due to our unsavory introduction. In case you don’t recall, you put that sickle of yours into my shoulder,” you reminded, with a sarcastic smile. To your surprise, Bela chuckles at this, almost as if fondly remembering the incident. Seriously, you think, why did my soulmate have to be from this family?
“Staying silent was an option. Perhaps that would have suited you better?” Bela says, now clearly teasing, smile much more genuine than your own. Knowing she had a point, you’re quick to blush, mildly embarrassed.
“Touche. I am curious, however, why you decided to sit next to me in the first place. I certainly wouldn’t have tried starting a conversation if you hadn’t,” you explained.
“Like I said… I enjoy studying zoology,” Bela replies, with a sly grin. It takes you a few moments to understand the intended implications. Once you do, however, you’re giving her a hard stare. Then you scoot your chair a few inches away from her, in exaggerated movements. “Don’t worry, I was only joking. Though you certainly are an interesting human. Much more, hmm, cheeky? Compared to the servants, at least.”
“Somehow I get the feeling that they simply prefer being alive, as opposed to not being as snippy. Except maybe Daphne, now that I think about it. Very sweet, that one,” you muse. “Regardless, I think I’ll return to my book now, for it lacks a tongue, and is therefore less likely to taunt me.” Doing just as you had said, you open the book, holding it a bit higher than what would be comfortable, so that it becomes a ‘shield’ of sorts. Nothing was quite as satisfying as subtle body language.
Accepting your words with a shrug, Bela also resumes reading, turning to a bookmarked page. Roughly an hour of relative quiet passes. Neither of you so much as glance at each other, not even when she drops the pen she had been taking notes with. In the end, you are the one who leaves first, and finally the silence is broken. You give your goodbyes, and Bela returns them politely. Though you do not know it, she sets her book down as soon as you leave, pausing to think about you. Now that things had ‘calmed down’, it was reassuring for her to know that you weren’t always full of spite. Still, you held onto your cleverness (for the most part), leaving her with no doubt about the universe’s decision. You were her sister’s soulmate.
iii.
“It’s official: I’m lost in a creepy castle. The universe hates me. Probably should have realized that sooner, considering how it decided to introduce me to my soulmate,” you mutter, scowling deeply, as you wander unfamiliar halls. How had you even gotten lost? Sure, you had taken a wrong turn, but it hadn’t taken long for you to realize your mistake! Evidently you somehow managed to make another one while backtracking. Now you were standing in the center of the corridor, hands on your hips, desperate for some maiden to come rescue you. What you really didn’t want was Cassandra to find you, because she’d make fun of you for the rest of your life. It’s not like she had specifically joked about you getting lost before. Except that was exactly what had happened.
A few minutes pass uneventfully. There aren’t even any distant sounds of life; no footsteps, nor echoing voices, nor the squeaking of floorboards. All you can hear is your own breathing. As well as the occasional sigh, admittedly. By this point, there’s a part of you that’s starting to panic. After all, there was a chance that the castle was big enough for certain sections to be abandoned. Hopefully that’s not the case, you think, I mean, they’d cut the power to those parts, right? Here’s hoping… With that in mind, you get back to wandering, figuring that you’d have to eventually run into a familiar landmark. Or better yet, someone who actually knew the castle’s layout.
When salvation at last reveals its holy visage, it is not in the form of a lowly servant, rather the muffled voice of none other than Lady Dimitrescu herself. Neither her exact words nor who she’s speaking to is clear. At first, you can’t even tell where her voice is coming from, but you quickly approach one closed door, then another, searching for the source. Several doors later you’re certain you’ve found her. By then you can tell that she’s not alone. Not wanting to seem rude by interrupting, you take a few steps back, leaning against the wall to wait. For the most part you still cannot make out what’s being said, but a few words do reach your ears.
“-expected more from you. How am I-” the voice gets cut off, not by Alcina, rather a sudden gust of air, akin to massive wings flapping. When the speaker continues, they are both louder and angrier. “Someone is listening. Have you not taken steps to ensure our privacy?” Then the door is swinging open, revealing your soulmate’s mother. At first she’s practically shaking with rage, but her expression turns to shock when she sees you.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Cassandra?” Lady Dimitrescu asks, clearly stressed, as she steps into the corridor. There’s movement behind her, although you cannot make out any details. Besides, you’re quick to answer her, wishing to avoid her wrath (and that of whoever she was speaking to).
“I’m so sorry, Lady Dimitrescu, I was walking from the dining hall to Cassandra’s studio, and I took a wrong turn. I’ve been wandering for half an hour now. When I heard your voice, I thought perhaps I could, well, enlist your assistance. But you were busy, so I figured I’d wait outside. If I had-...” you pause, gulping, as the other figure steps into view. It’s a face you’re all too familiar with. One that popped up countless times through the village, and again throughout the castle, the owner’s name always spoken with acclaim, with worship. Mother Miranda, in the flesh, wings spreading out behind her, somehow cutting a more impressive silhouette than even Lady Dimitrescu. Instantly you’re falling to your knees, knowing that your sharp tongue was no match for this practical goddess.
“Who is this, Dimitrescu? Why isn’t their blood staining your claws?” Miranda questions, gaze never leaving your trembling form.
“This… this is one of my daughters’ soulmates. They were brought in with the last group of sacrifices,” Lady Dimitrescu explains, uncharacteristically hesitant. ‘Twas a true testament to Miranda’s power, as well as her influence, that she could make someone so powerful seem so weak. Which was exactly why you were shaking with anxiety. But to your surprise, the goddess does not immediately order your execution for your trespass.
“And already they know their place, hmm? Kneeling before me?” Miranda says, a strange smile dancing on her lips. Whatever anger she had been feeling a minute prior had faded, though you couldn’t even begin to guess as to why. Regardless, both Alcina and yourself are quite relieved, though neither of you are quick to show it. “Either they have a good head on their shoulders, or you still take care of some of your duties. Very well, they may live. For now. But I expect next week’s report to be far more favorable. I don’t need to remind you of the price for failing me.” With that said, Mother Miranda turned to leave, a swirling mass of dark feathers flying past you.
A minute passes, maybe two, before either of you feel capable of speaking up.
“Let’s get you back where you belong, yes?” Lady Dimitrescu says, quietly, before placing her hand on your shoulder to guide you. Tension hangs clear and heavy over both of you. Even as you walk down corridor after corridor, the feeling does not ease. At least not until you’re back in familiar territory, near where you had originally made your mistake, finally able to breathe a little. It’s here that Lady Dimitrescu pauses to speak once more. “Tomorrow I will assign one of the servants to give you a tour, in the hopes that this does not happen again. Furthermore, I ask that you forget everything you heard earlier, for it is neither your business… or my daughter’s.” You’re quick to nod, and with that she bids you farewell, leaving you alone. Now, you think, was it left from here, or right?
iv.
“I’m just going for a walk. Why do you care so much? It’s not like it’s any of your business,” Daniela assures you, despite the fact that all you had done was say ‘hello’. If this was her attempt at casting aside suspicion, she had done a terrible job of it. What made her so nervous? Was it even worth investigating? Only one way to find out.
“You’re rather bundled up, planning on being out for long?” You ask, trying to sound casual, leaning against the wall as you did. In response, Daniela pretty much stomps her foot. There’s something odd in her expression, however, that implies your question hit a soft spot. Certainly wasn’t what you had expected. “Don’t mind me, just trying to make conversation with my soulmate’s sister. Speaking of her… have you seen Cassandra? Is she, perhaps, going with you?” A little misdirection never hurt anyone. Probably.
“No!” Daniela replies, fast as a gunshot, too much emphasis to be unintentional. But she realizes her mistake as soon as she’s made it, and makes a clear effort to relax herself. “She’s probably in her studio, doing whatever it is she calls art, on the other end of the house. Besides, I don’t want any company for this walk.” For a moment you merely squint at her, unsure of how to proceed. In the end, you decide that it really is none of your business, being more than satisfied by what teasing you’ve already done.
“Alright, alright. Well then, I’ll leave you be. Just… be careful, yeah? If you get hurt, and your mother finds out that I didn’t stop you from going… not sure Cassandra could save me,” you say, with a shrug. At first Daniela can’t decide whether to be upset or relieved, but she seemingly settles for the latter, giving you a brief nod before heading outside. As the door shut behind her, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had done the right thing.
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saturngrqy · 3 years
Note
Concept of Grayson where him and the reader get into a big argument and Ethan and kris have to literally put you in separate rooms to cool off because you’re so angry
this hoe is long as fu-
Your head was beginning to pound from all the yelling and the pressure of your hands rubbing against your forehead.
"I'm just wondering why you would even fucking tell them that," Grayson spoke, trying to lower his naturally loud voice, never wanting to scare you.
"Tell them what? I don't understand what I did wrong here," you defend, confused.
"You told fucking hollywood fix that we had a date at Nobu on Friday. Now they are gonna have people there taking pictures and I don't want them to take pictures of us when I'm trying to have a nice fucking dinner with my girlfriend," he scoffs, resting his elbows on the counter and hiding his face in his hands with frustration.
Everyone knows how annoying paparazzi can be, but hollywood fix was another level. He is known for asking people way too personal questions in way too personal places. To say Grayson was upset when he found a video clip of you coming out of a store with your friend, explaining all the details of your date planned that week, is an understatement.
"Well I didn't realize that was an issue, I don't know how to deal with paparazzi," you say quietly, suddenly feeling quite small compared to the large man screaming at you. You never responded well to people yelling.
"That's the thing Y/n," he begins, "you don't understand that being in the public eye is a lot more dangerous than you think. I get you aren't used to being seen and everything, but you can at least use your god damn brain," he spat.
You scoffed in disbelief. "Oh I need to use my brain? Last weekend you literally deleted my entire essay for school off my computer on 'accident'," you accuse in air quotes. "What the fuck were you even doing? Looking at porn?" You laugh wickedly.
You both continued to bicker back and forth for around 10 minutes about seemingly nothing. First it was how Grayson forgot to do the laundry, to you forgetting to feed Sledge one afternoon, to even Grayson forgetting to pick you up from an appointment months ago.
Keep in mind, its almost 11 o'clock at night.
Ethan and Kristina did not enjoy having to stuff their heads into a pillow to drown out the screams. Finally taking charge, they walk out of the master bedroom, down to the kitchen, to find the couple red-faced and pointing fingers at one- another.
"Woah, ok, what the fuck is going on," Ethan interrupts, pulling Kristina into his side.
"Y/n literally told hollywood fix about our fucking date at fucking Nobu and now we won't be able to go," he spits, out of breath. Ethan squints his eyebrow.
"Why won't you be able to go?" He asked.
"Because, asswipe, paparazzi are gonna follow us," he sighs. Ethan didn't take offense to the nickname, he knew that Grayson was just in a mood.
Kristina, however, was too focused on your appearance- you looked absolutely exhausted. Your eyes were bloodshot from crying, your eye bags were heavy, and your shoulders were so slumped from stress she thought you had back issues.
"How about we all just calm down and take a breather," Kristina's calm voice interjects. "It's clear you guys are both really upset, so how about you take a break for a second, or sleep in different rooms, I don't know, but you guys both need some space for a bit," she finishes.
For the first time that evening, Y/n took a breath of relief. She was so thankful that she wasn't the only girl in the house at times like these. Without anyone saying a word, Kris grabs Y/n's shaking palm and leads her to the podcast room. Ethan ends up patting Grayson on the back, gesturing him to sit on the couch so they can talk.
Kristina shut the door, enveloping the room in a silence that was a little too refreshing. You both sit in the upholstered gray chairs, her being the first to speak.
"Are you ok? You looked really shaken up," she softly whispers, grabbing your hand. You sniffle.
"I'm fine, I think, I just get really bad anxiety when people yell at me. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, which I guess I did," you murmur, looking down at your lap.
She squeezes your palm. "You did nothing wrong, Gray just likes his privacy, that's all. If he's mad at you, just think about how pissed he is at Mr. Fix," she begins, giggling. "And Grayson often projects his anger onto people he doesn't mean to. He probably just had a bad day, trust me. He loves you so much, he would never purposely make you feel like this." She finishes, enclosing you into a tight hug. You stay like that until a small knock interrupts you two, and a nervous Grayson walks in. He nods at Kristina, and she walks out, giving you a small smile of encouragement.
He replaces her seat, but instead picks you up in his arms and places you right on top of his lap.
"I'm really sorry for yelling, pretty girl. I know that makes you upset and I wasn't really thinking straight. We can reschedule the dinner or whatever you want to do, but I promise I'm not mad at you," He finishes, placing a firm kiss on her temple.
"You aren't?" She questions, barely above a whisper.
"Absolutely not. I need to be more understanding that you are trying to get accustomed to my living, and I am so proud of how well you are able to handle yourself online. I just get worried, and when I see Fletcher trying to talk to you it makes me panic. I don't want you to get overwhelmed. I know he's pretty intense, and I should be more aware of how you feel in those situations." He squeezes you, once again kissing you, this time on the cheek, close to the bridge of your nose. You giggle from the ticklish feeling.
"And for the record, I was not looking at porn, I got all I need right here," he declares. You laugh, your cheeks increasingly reddening.
"There's that smile," he gushes. "I love you so so much, sweetheart, and I don't want you to ever think any different."
And that night he definitely made it up to her- so much so that Ethan and Kristina once again had to reach for the pillows.
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Text
begin again - part three
Jax Teller x female!Reader
Summary: Y/N and Jax grow closer... I don't know what else to say without revealing spoilers haha
Word count: 4k words
Warnings: very bad language, mentions of blood, physical & verbal abuse, angsty & some fluff
Author's note: I appreciate all the positive feedback I've received this far! It's much appreciated :) also, I'm bad at writing these summaries
If you’re in an abusive relationship or you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up and reach out to the correct people!
Beta read by @crucifixedbitch
PART ONE | PART TWO
💀💀💀💀💀
He’s late. The thought brings about a familiar uneasiness and your mind conjures images of a bloodied Jax lying unconscious in some dingy ditch. Jesus Christ.
“Mommy, why did you stop reading?”
S/N’s soft voice draws you back to reality. You look over to his bed where he’s laying beside Abel. “Did I stop reading?”
He giggles, “Yep.”
Oh. You look down at the book in your hand then back up at the boys. “I’m sorry, ace. I guess Mommy’s a bit tired.” And apparently, she’s distracted. You look back down at the book, willing yourself to remember your place.
“Cooper the Cat was stuck in the tree,” he reminds you.
“Right, Cooper the Cat!” your eyes hastily skim through the short paragraphs until you land at the right sentence. “Got it. ‘Help!’ cried Cooper from the tree…”
And just like that, all thoughts of Jax and his safety are shoved to the back of your mind to deal with at a later time. It’s your lucky day today, the boys have had a long day and they’re out before you reach the end of the book.
“I love you, ace,” you whisper to your son after you’ve kissed him goodnight.
It’s because of your love for S/N that you left Jax and the endless bullshit that comes with him. Anxiety-filled nights like this one are a thing of your past and you know you can’t allow yourself to be consumed by thoughts of him. Once you start, there’s no stopping you. You know this, very well, so why is there a sick feeling twisting in your gut? Because a small part of you is still in love with your ex.
Hope blooms when your phone vibrates in your pocket but it’s only B/N. It’s not that you’re not happy to see your boyfriend’s name on your phone screen, but the anxiety’s gnawing at your mind, and you’re desperate for it to be put to sleep. Fortunately for you, B/N’s in high spirits. He’s been frustrated with you lately, and wants you back in Charlotte — his insecurities about Jax are beginning to show.
It’s for that reason that you don’t tell him about S/N’s friendship with Abel.
“This time next week, you and S/N will be back home,” he muses.
“Yeah, we both can’t wait.” You feel disappointed at the realization, “It feels like forever, doesn’t it?”
And S/N has been asking about B/N more and more these days but you don’t tell that to him, afraid that he’ll catch the earliest flight to California. Truthfully, you’re not exactly ready to let Jax out of your life which you’ll be forced to do if B/N’s in Charming. You see, he’s… protective and doesn’t like the idea of you hanging around men. Especially Jax. Hell, he almost stopped you from attending your own mother’s funeral.
Of course, it was under the guise of being the protective boyfriend. “Are you sure it’s safe for you to be in the same town as your violent biker ex?” He said all the right things and did everything in his power to talk you out of the decision but in the end, he failed to convince you to stay away.
“Goodnight, I love you.”
You hang up just in time to hear Jax’s motorcycle pull up out front. The relief is quickly overshadowed by concern when you open the door and are greeted by a bloody-faced Jax.
“I’m late.”
“I’m more concerned about that gash on your brow. Come in.” You open the door wider, “If you’re here to get Abel, he’s asleep. You can fetch him in the morning.”
“Shit.” You step aside to allow him access into the house, “I’m sorry, Y/N, I got caught up in Oakland.”
“It’s fine. S/N was happy to have Abel stay the night.”
He smiles, “Thank you.”
You return his smile, “We should clean that before it gets infected.” Before you can process your actions, you’re leaning closer to take a better look at the cut. “I can’t see much, you should rinse it with water. I’ll go grab the first aid kit.”
“It’s late, I’ll have Chibs take care of the cut.”
“Meet me in the kitchen,” you start for the bathroom, “rinse the cut.”
You grab the first aid kit from the bathroom and find Jax sitting at the breakfast table, pensively staring into space, a half-drunk bottle of water sitting in front of him.
“Here.”
Your voice pulls him from his reverie. His eyes drop to the pill container in your hand and he arches a brow.
“It’s for the pain.”
“Thanks.” He accepts the pills and pops the cap open, “I should’ve called.”
“It’s fine.” You do your best to keep a casualness in your voice when you ask, “What was happening in Oakland? Is everyone okay?”
He gazes at you for a long while before he responds, gauging where your head is at. “Yeah, we’re all fine.”
“Should I be worried?”
He slowly shakes his head, “No.”
You watch him take the pain medication, there are so many questions to ask, questions only Jax has answers to.
“Is it safe for you to be here?”
He swallows the pills and smiles, “I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t safe. Don’t worry, you and S/N are safe.”
Hesitantly, you nod as you pull a chair from the table. In a bid to lighten the mood, you tell him, “No offense, Jackie, but you look like shit.”
“I feel like shit,” he chuckles.
You take your seat in front of him and suppress the urge to smile, “Who punched your handsome mug?”
“I was pistol-whipped.”
“Ouch.” Scooting forward in your chair, you lean towards Jax to get a better look at the rinsed cut, and for a very brief moment, your eyes lock with his before they dart up to his cut. “It’s like the good ol’ days, isn’t it?”
“You playin’ nurse?”
“Yeah.”
Back in the day, nights like these were common. Jax would sit at this very table, at the very chair he’s sat on, whilst you tended to his cuts and bruises. Mother would be sitting in the living room, hurling insults at both you and Jax. She would take any chance to remind you that you were making a mistake you would regret for the rest of your life.
“Your mom hated me.”
Your eyes lock with his, “In her defense, you would always be finding ways to antagonize her.”
And in return, your mother would call Jax all kinds of names but even that wouldn’t keep him away. Nothing ever could keep him from you. Memories of Jax sneaking into your room late at night come to mind. “I had to come kiss my girl goodnight,” he’d tell you.
“We were pretty wild back then,” you reminisce.
And you were madly in love with each other, however, you keep that part to yourself. The situation’s complicated enough without the added layer. You’ve barely mustered the courage to mention B/N’s existence to Jax because, in all honesty, you’re not quite sure how he might react to another man raising his son. The thought of his reaction fills you with dread. Heaven knows he’ll give you a hard time about leaving next week.
Gah, it’s all too much! With a shake of your head, you dismiss all thoughts and grab the ointment from the kit. “Shall we?”
He nods and shuts his eye for you to apply it on the cut. A silence descends upon the kitchen and neither of you makes an effort to fill it.
“You’re good to go,” you announce once you’re done.
“Thanks.”
“I couldn’t risk it getting infected.”
More than anything, you don’t want S/N to see Mommy’s friend sporting cuts on his face. He’ll ask questions, probably mention it to B/N, and you’re not looking to have that drama in your life.
“Are you hungry? I’m assuming you haven’t had your dinner…”
“Nah, but I should get going.”
Your mood deflates at his announcement. The truth is you don’t want him to leave but how do you stop him without giving him the wrong idea? Why are you even stopping him from leaving?
“Stay,” you blurt out.
“Stay?”
“Yeah, there’s the guest bedroom. It’s late and you’re medicated and you shouldn’t be driving and–”
“I have nothing to wear.”
“Sure you do.” You take a breath to compose yourself, “I was cleaning out the closets the other day and I found some of your old stuff. They’re clean, I uh, washed them. Everything is oversized, they should still fit you.”
You had intended to take them to Goodwill and you will but right now, Jax needs them.
“Look, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”
It isn’t a lie but it isn’t the full truth. Honestly? You just want him near you. It’s wrong, and you understand the implications and know that B/N won’t be happy should he find out, but one night wouldn’t be harmful to anyone, right? Besides, he’ll be sleeping in the guest bedroom.
He thoughtfully considers your proposition. After a stretched silence, he reluctantly accepts your offer.
“Great,” you perk up, “I’ll warm up your dinner.”
You make some conversation over dinner, none of the heavy shit, mostly catching up on all you’ve missed in the four years you’ve been away. He tells you about the club, and that Opie met someone and they’re now married.
“And how about you? Is there anyone special in your life?”
He doesn’t answer your question, not that you expect him to. You just can’t help but be curious. After dinner, he heads over to the bathroom to take his shower whilst you load the dishwasher and dig through the laundry to look for Jax’s old t-shirts and sweats. The guilt sets in and you fight the urge to call B/N to tell him about Jax.
You’re dialing his number when you stop yourself. “Geez, Y/N!” you toss your phone into the laundry basket and step back to create distance between you and the device. Think about this. The last thing you need is B/N bulldozing into Charming and starting shit with Jax and the M.C. — that could be fatal. No, Jax staying the night is you helping out an old friend, there’s nothing more to it.
Grabbing the folded pile of clothing, you make your way down the hall to the guest bedroom and find Jax waiting patiently on the bed for you. Nothing but a towel tied around his waist.
“I should’ve knocked, I’m sorry.”
He rises off the bed and that’s when you get a clear view of his torso, and the tattoo inscribed on his ribcage.
“You’ve proved your point, Jax, now let’s go.” “No, why?” You look over your shoulder to the big, tattooed man standing over by the counter, laughing at whatever joke he’s just been told. You’re at some grimy tattoo parlor, somewhere in Reno, and Jax’s about to get your name tattooed on his body. His ribcage to be exact. The sentiment is sweet, you admit, but it’s a permanent decision, and you’re only 17. You look back at Jax who’s now laying shirtless on the tattoo chair, “Do you realize how insane this is?” He smiles brightly as he shakes his head. “Do you have a death wish? Gemma’ll kill us both when she sees this.” Part of her rage will be due to the fact that it’s your name on his ribcage instead of hers. “And what if they find out we’ve lied about our age?” “Babe, will you relax? They won’t, this place is a dump.” Which is exactly why he shouldn’t get his first-ever tattoo done here. “There’s no talking you out of this, huh?” “No.” He laces his fingers with yours and raises your hand to press a kiss to its back, “This is what I want to do. I don’t care what my mom thinks.” “And the pain? You don’t care about that either?” He shakes his head, “No.” You glance at the stencil transfer on his ribcage and sigh. “I know you don’t have to do this–” “I want to do this.” “And there’s clearly no talking you out of this.” “Yeah.” You squeeze his hand and flash him a reassuring smile, “Do you want me to hold your hand?” His smile returns, brighter than ever, “I’d appreciate it, darlin’.” “You’re insane, you know that, right?” He nods. “Only because I love you.” You lean over to lock your lips in a kiss — you don’t doubt it for a second.
You pry your eyes from his torso, forcing yourself to face the now smirking Jax. Right, his clothes!
You hold out the pile to him, “Did you put your clothes in the hamper?”
He accepts them and murmurs ‘thanks’ before he responds to your question. “Yeah, just like you said.”
“Okay,” you fight off the urge to look down at his ribcage. He kept it. “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Jax.”
Spinning on your heels, you scurry out the room before you do something you’ll regret later.
💀💀💀💀💀
“Mommy! Come see!”
S/N and Abel’s laughter sounds from the living room. Saturday mornings have always been your favorite. Sleeping in is always a winner in your books, a vital part of any Saturday routine, and once you’re up, B/N takes S/N out of the house whilst you prepare breakfast. Last weekend was S/N’s first Saturday away from B/N and he was miserable. This Saturday is different.
“Mommy?” More laughter sounds, “You will miss it!”
Lowering the heat, you abandon your cooking and make your way over to the living room. A slouched Jax is taking up most of the three-seater with S/N and Abel on either side of him, all three pairs of eyes fixed on the television screen.
“What’s got you laughing so much, ace?” You take a seat on the armrest and press a kiss to the top of your son’s head. “Beaky Buzzard?”
“Yeah.” He looks up at you, “Are you coming to sit with us?”
“No, Mommy’s got to make breakfast.”
You’d like nothing more than to stick around and watch cartoons with them but there’s breakfast to prepare. When you walk back into the kitchen, you discover your phone vibrating on the counter and you just know it’s B/N. It’s his fifth attempt in the last half-hour, probably looking to speak to S/N, but that just isn’t a good idea. Not when Jax is in the house. You’re being deceitful to both parties, but the timing just isn’t right.
B/N would lose it if he found out about Jax’s regular visits, and you don’t know how Jax would react to B/N’s existence in your life and the role he plays in your son’s life. It would ruin a perfectly good morning. The day got off to a good start with the news of the sale of your childhood home, and your son’s mood is the best it’s been all week. Why would you even think to ruin it by starting trouble with B/N?
It’s not worth it. You’ll just have to come up with a story to tell him later.
“Breakfast is served!”
The boys come barreling in and take their places at the breakfast table. You assist the two youngest boys to plate up their food before you plate up for yourself. Everyone digs into the food, and the compliments you receive are a definite boost for the ego. You listen intently as S/N and Abel excitedly recount the Looney Tune episode they’d watched earlier and S/N’s beside himself with laughter.
The happy moment is disrupted by the unwelcomed vibration of your phone on the counter.
“Is that Daddy calling?”
Shit! You wince at the name ‘Daddy’. It’s what S/N always calls B/N but somehow, it doesn’t feel right when Jax’s sitting across the table from him.
“Mommy?”
“Yeah, ace?” you look over to him, very aware of Jax’s eyes burning into the back of your head.
“Is that Daddy calling?”
“No, it’s probably the estate agent.” It’s not a convincing lie, but you’re caught off guard and can’t come up with something better. “She’s calling about the house.”
“When is Daddy calling?”
“Probably later.” You hate that you’re being so dismissive. “We’ll call him after Abel and Jax leave, okay?”
He looks like he might ask another question, maybe press for a better answer, but he resumes eating his food. You avoid Jax’s eyes for the remainder of breakfast. He helps you clear the table and load the dishwasher in painful silence. Once Jax has helped you load the dishes, he leaves you alone in the kitchen. Can the morning get any worse? Apparently, it can. You unlock your phone to find multiple texts from an irate B/N.
He didn’t take kindly to you ignoring all ten of his calls. Shit. You’re on the verge of tears when Jax saunters into the kitchen.
“Abel and I are leaving.”
You nod, unsure of how to respond. “You’ll ride on your bike with Abel?”
“No. Ratboy’s waiting out front with the van.”
“Ratboy?”
“The new prospect.”
“And will we see Abel tomorrow?”
His impassive expression says it all. Your gut twists with anxiety at the thought of not seeing Jax again before you leave Charming. How do you make this right?
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He slowly shakes his head. Just then S/N and Abel sprint into the kitchen, bustling with energy. Abel hugs you goodbye before the boys run back out of the kitchen and out of the house onto the front yard.
“I’m leaving my bike here. I’ll come by to get it later.”
“Cool. Yeah, that’s fine.”
You walk Jax out, and just like he’d said, Ratboy is waiting out front in a black van. Together with S/N, you watch Jax and Abel climb into the van and drive off.
“Can we call Daddy now?”
“Yeah, let’s go,” you lift him up and carry him towards the house. “Did you have a good time with Abel?”
He nods his little human head, a bright grin plastered on his perfect face. Once inside the house, you dial B/N’s number but he doesn’t pick up, in fact, it seems his phone’s off. Strange.
“I think his phone’s off, ace.”
His face falls. In an effort to brighten his mood, you suggest driving over to the playground.
“When is Abel coming back to play?”
You inwardly sigh. It looks like today’ll be one long ass day.
💀💀💀💀💀
The last person you expect to find standing on the other side of your front door is B/N and yet here he is, and he looks anything but pleased with you. Oh, shit. Your heart sinks at the sight of him, the chill of fear coursing through your body, and your mouth dries.
“B/N?”
His unsettling smile causes the hairs on the back of your neck to raise. “Hi, Toots. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
Your movement’s robot-like as you step away from the door to make way for him. He walks past you, and once inside, his eyes search around the small space.
“Are you home alone?”
You seem to have forgotten how to speak.
“Toots?”
“S/N… He’s, uh… He’s asleep.”
He murmurs a soft ‘good’ before he turns around to pull you into an embrace. For a moment, you stand frozen, your brain seized up and you feel like a foreigner in your own body.
“What’s the matter, Toots? You don’t look too happy to see me. Were you expecting someone else?”
Yes. “No.” Moving one arm at a time, you return B/N’s embrace and do your best to calm your nerves. You’ve done nothing wrong, he’s not going to hurt you, you repeat over and over until he releases you from his hold. “I just wasn’t expecting you to come all this way.”
“It’s only a five-hour flight.”
Why the fuck are you here?
As if he read your mind, he tells you. “I missed you guys so much, I thought I’d surprise you,” with a tight smile, he adds, “You’re not very good at answering my calls.”
“I’m sorry.”
B/N hauls his luggage from the porch and dumps it onto the floor before he makes his way over to the living room. You follow slowly behind him, watching as he settles onto the couch and searches for the television remote.
“C-can I get you anything?”
“Join me,” it’s an order.
You drag your feet over to the couch and take your place next to him. Casually, he slings an arm over your shoulder and forcefully pulls you into his side.
“There. Now you’re close.”
You can’t bring yourself to fake a smile. Too petrified. He presses a kiss to the side of your head and whispers into your ear to relax.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
He’s told you that lie far too many times in the past.
“Are you enjoying being back in Charming?”
You nod, the words caught in your throat.
“What are you? Mute? Use your fucking words, Toots.”
“It’s good to be back.” Your voice is shaky, barely recognizable. “I missed it here”
His fingers start stroking up and down your upper arm. “Good.”
Your eyes fix on the blank television screen in front of you.
“Is he here? Is he hiding in one of the rooms?”
“Who?”
“Your white trash biker ex!”
You jump up, surprised by him raising his voice so suddenly. “Jax? No! Why would he be here?”
“You lying piece of shit,” he spits out, shoving you away from him, the force sending you to the ground. “I saw his bike parked out front. I’ll ask you again, is he here?”
“No, B/N,” tears fill your eyes, you know exactly what’s to follow but still, you plead, “Don’t do this here. Not now, please, baby.”
“Shut up!” He raises to his feet, towering over you, and kicks at your trembling frame. “No one’s touched you, why the fuck are you crying?”
“I’m sorry.” You swipe the tears from your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t… I don’t know whose bike that is.”
“Are you cheating on me, you whore?”
Frantically, you shake your head.
“I said use your fucking words.”
You bring a trembling hand to your mouth to muffle your sobs.
“I asked you a question, you dumb bitch!”
“No. No. No.” You crawl over to him, closing the distance between you. “I’d never, baby. Never ever.”
“That doesn’t explain why a bike’s parked outside your house.”
“B/N, please,” you plead softly. “S/N’s asleep, we can do this another–”
The words are lost when he harshly grabs your face and shoves you onto your back. Both hands cover your mouth to muffle your pained cries. He’s vicious, and tonight, he’s out for blood.
“Get up, you–”
Knock, knock, knock! You’ve never been more relieved in your life. B/N shoots you a warning glare, daring you to make a move. A few moments later, the knocks sound again, a little louder this time around.
“Y/N?”
It’s Jax. You are faced with two decisions: do you call for Jax to help you or do you take your deserved punishment?
“Y/N?” he knocks louder. “Are you in there?”
You’re sobbing so much, your body’s trembling. B/N kneels beside you, placing two additional hands over the ones already covering your mouth. His additional weight pushes your head further into the hard ground, causing your head to hurt. It’s sure to leave a bruise. With a final knock, Jax gives up and some moments later, you hear his motorcycle ride off. Once he’s certain Jax’s left, B/N removes his hands.
“Why is he here at this hour?”
“I don’t know.” You gasp when he wraps his hand around your neck and applies pressure, making it difficult for you to breathe. “B/N, please…”
“You’ll regret cheating on me,” he murmurs softly before his hand connects with your cheek in a hard slap.
💀💀💀💀💀
PART FOUR
tag list:
@princesssterek @derangedcupcake @furiouscopshepherduniversity @crucifixedbitch @holl2712 @sweet--catrastrophe @marvelsmylife @brittjulianne97
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f1united · 3 years
Text
Test - DR3 Imagine
Part 3 to Zoo!
Part 1     Part 2
Daniel Ricciardo Imagine
Summary: You and Daniel take a pregnancy test :)
This contains mentions of pregnancy and fertility so please do not read if this is something you may find triggering!
Let me know if you have any f1 requests!
The days you had kept this to yourself had allowed you to think a million times over how Daniel would react. The discussion you had was brief but not forgotten and you had expected to have to wait many months before anything came of it. Daniel was older and capable of doing pretty much whatever he wanted in life and you knew that without his support through this you would have to work twice as hard as you already were to even provide your child with a glimpse of the life that he could. You were smart with your money, invested and saved where you wanted to and tried not to rely on Daniel for much however there was no chance you could afford even a years rent on the apartment he had in Monaco, let alone have multi-million mansions over the world. He could have anything he wanted, and you didn’t want to be the thing that unwillingly tied him down.
You didn’t break eye contact when you told him. Although he was such a confident, outgoing person you had learnt over the years that his eyes said a lot. You had to know him to notice the depth of emotions that they showed, and you’d slowly figured it out. You weren’t sure if he knew that’s how you could read him like a book and you never dared to tell him in fear that he might try masking it in the future.
The daunting outcomes you’d replayed in you head had vanished the second his eyes met yours. You were expecting shock, a frown at least, neither of which came. Instead his signature smile gave you all the reassurance you needed and his eyes lit up as he placed his hands on your hips, grasping them tightly.
“Are you serious!” you nodded your head at his words, the worry fading away at the joy in his voice. Your tears were still somewhat there but now falling due to happiness and excitement.
“I was waiting until you got home to do a test” Admittedly you had wanted to do a test the minute you’d left the shop but refrained until Daniel would be with you. If you were honest it was more for your own emotional support than anything else.
“Well let’s go do one!” you wiped the tears from your face as you lifted yourself off Daniel and headed towards the bathroom following his instructions. One of your hands was rummaging around in the cabinet while the other was tightly gripped by your boyfriend who showed no signs of letting it go as you sat on the toilet. A giggle past your lips as you looked up at him.
“What” he smiled down at you.
“I don’t know if I can wee with you this close to me, I’m getting stage fright”
“Are you kidding?!” he asked, “You’ve done it plenty of times before!”
“I know just let me try and concentrate” You looked down at the floor in front of you and took a deep breath before the room fell silent, the bathroom fan the only noise echoing throughout the apartment. It only lasted about 5 seconds until you both burst out into laughter.
“I can’t wee” you pouted your bottom lip out at him which he brushed off with a light kiss to your lips.
“I’ll go and grab you some water” he planted a kiss on your forehead before letting go of your hand. It was only then that you realised you were both still naked.
“Nice arse” you commented as he walked back into the bedroom and threw on his boxers you’d stripped him of earlier. He threw a smirk over his shoulder as he left the bedroom and headed to the kitchen. With him gone you were able to wee in peace and placed the test on the side of the sink, covering the display with the leaflet it came with so you wouldn’t take a sneaky look. Daniel returned as you were putting your underwear back on.
“I’ve set the timer for two minutes” you informed his as you threw your phone back onto the bed before sitting on the edge and pulling on some joggers.
“Oh, so you can pee when I leave?” he laughed as he placed the water on the side.
“I told you” you got up and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Stage fright”
“After that little show you just gave me I wouldn’t have thought stage fright was even in your vocabulary” his forehead resting against yours meant he saw your eyes roll back before he’d even finished his sentence.
“Well Mr Ricciardo, only the best for you” your lips gently brushed his as you teased him. You were so grateful to have him home, you missed everything about him when he was gone. His smile, his smell, his hair. Your fingertips were slowly tracing the muscles on his back when he caught your lips in his, having enough of the teasing and wanting no space between you.
It wasn’t long before he hooked his hands around the back of your thighs and you were jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist for the second time that night. He turned you both around so he could sit on the edge of the bed giving you all the power of being on top, something he didn’t willingly do this easily. The two of you were abruptly broken apart by the sound of the timer ending. Daniel reached out to grab your phone as he felt your body stiffen above him.
“You ready?” he asked as you slowly climbed off him.
“I guess so” you smiled as you headed for the bathroom.
“Should I record it for our parents to see?” he asked as he grabbed his phone off the nightstand. You’d been so focused in telling Daniel that you’d completely forgotten about the rest of the world.
“Yeah, it will be nice to look back on” he placed his phone on the counter before standing behind you and placing his head on your shoulder. His arms snaked around your waist as you picked the test up, bringing it to eye level. You both narrowed your eyes at the results and you gasped slightly.
“Oh my god” Daniel whispered as you brought one hand up to cover your mouth. “Is that a second line?”. The line was faint, very faint, but there.
“I can’t tell if I’m imagining it” you spoke so quietly as if you were afraid of it disappearing from the sound of your voice.
“I don’t think we are” he spoke just as quietly as you looked up at him. You placed your free hand on the side of his face as you brought him in for a kiss.
“Should we get a digital one?” you suggested, “That way we can definitely tell”
Daniel didn’t have a clue about the types of tests you could get but nodded nonetheless, knowing that if you suggested it then it was probably so you could put your own mind at rest. He took the test from your hands and showed it to the camera before ending the video with a smile. You threw on Daniels hoodie that you’d been wearing since he’d been away. You noticed it sat onto of the wash bin and probably should’ve added it to the rest of your laundry but couldn’t quite bring yourself to wash away his smell until he was back.
“I can quickly run down there on my own” you offered as you slipped on some shoes and slipped your phone into your pocket.
“Don’t be silly I’m coming with you” he replied as he threw back on the clothes he was wearing earlier.
“I don’t think we’ve ever got dressed so fast” you commented as you both headed for the door.
“I’d say we’ve been faster in my drivers’ room” he grabbed his keys off the side as you followed him out the door.
“Yeah that’s a good point actually” you chuckled at his comment, “They should really invest in better locking systems for those things and not ones that can open from the outside too”
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pradaksj · 4 years
Text
Safety Net || part two (final). (m.)
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all rights reserved © pradaksj
↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.
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❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together.
❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader
❧ genre⟶  enemies to friends, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, pining, smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series.
❧ word count ⟶ 16,000+
❧ warnings ⟶ descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack, character death (non-major), smut which includes ... passionate to rough sex, oral (female receiving), penetration, fingering, unprotected sex (please have sex responsibly lol). 
❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more
❧ a/n ⟶ I am still fairly new to writing smut so sorry if it doesn’t meet your expectations 😭 also to all my people who don’t like smut “*” signals where you can stop reading as the smut is really just a bonus scene at the end. and remember dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple = present
01 | 02 (final) 
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“God were we dramatic,” you laugh, glad that the recollection of your big fight with Jungkook was something that could by now be laughed at rather than seen as something you’d dearly regret, “Don’t you think?” you ask Jungkook, concern immediately washing over you once you see the sad look on his face, “Jungkook?”
Jungkook stares blankly at the lake in front of him, surprised at the resurgence of the same heavy feeling in chest he had felt several months before, “Did I—Did I say something wrong?” you worry that you’ve hurt his feelings, that being one of, if not the, last thing you wanted to do tonight.
Quietly he nods his head no, “I just—” he struggles to voice his thoughts, “I was—” he shakes his head and you grab his hand in comfort, giving him a small smile.
“Hey,” you giggle, “what happened is in the past,” you reassure.
“I know but—” he sighs, pushing his hair back with his other hand, “I just still feel bad, you know? I mean we went a whole month without talking…. practically hating one another…”
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August 2019. 
It had been about a month since your explosive argument with Jungkook, and despite living together... the two of you had never been so far apart. Not only were you not on speaking terms, but it was as if neither of you existed in each other's proper world, completely avoiding each other at all costs.
One would think that because you two lived with one another, you’d be bound to have some kind of awkward bump ins from time to time, but somehow the two of you managed to steer clear of each other. From eating breakfast and dinner at separate times, to talking to Hobi at your own respective times, and of course the first thing Jungkook did the next day after your fight was move his things out of your restroom and into Hobi’s. You weren’t going to lie, it did sting just a little , but you were quick to get over it. The part that made Hobi roll his eyes even further back than they already did, was how quickly you two scrambled around each other whenever you did happen to coincidentally be in the same place such as the kitchen.
Originally Hobi tried any and every method possible to get you two to make up, knocking on doors and trying to trick you two into talking, faking handwriting, stealing personal belongings, and of course begging. Hell, he even tried confronting you two in one of the rare times you guys were in the kitchen at the same time, but all you two did was remain silent and go back into your respective rooms. Not bothering to even spare a glance at one another.
He had given up about two weeks in of trying, deciding that it was up to you two to figure out how you guys would make up. But it wasn’t until this Friday morning when he saw a certain letter stick out of the mail that he found himself loudly sighing.
“Oh Jungkook…” he whispers to himself, shaking his head as he read the letter in front of him. What was he going to do now?
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It didn’t take long for Jungkook to get used to being the lone wolf in the apartment again, in fact it was easy for him to completely ignore your existence. It was easy to watch you struggle opening a jar full of kimchi. It was easy to catch a glimpse of you and Hobi watching One Piece on the couch whenever he was making his way out of the apartment to go and party. It was easy to hear you sing along to some new girl group song and not join along whenever he passed by your room. And it was very easy to hate you. Very easy indeed.
Gosh, who was he kidding? It was the hardest freaking thing in the world to do. Especially because he didn’t hate you at all. Pretending to? Yes. Actually? Fuck no.
If he was being honest, any hatred he had felt in the moment of the big argument had been rapidly washed away the moment he slammed his door shut. Instead it had been quickly replaced by the feeling of hurt and sadness. He even found himself sneaking into the kitchen that night to grab an extra pint of ice cream from the freezer and watch some stupid K-drama from his laptop back in his room. Even shedding a small tear when the male and female lead had to break up due to unforeseen circumstances. But of course if you asked him if it was true, he’d deny it in a heartbeat.
He’d often find himself zoning out and replaying the fight in his head. God, was he an idiot. What was he thinking destroying your painting like that? Did he really think you weren’t going to react the way you did? Sadly, the answer was a mixture of both yes and no. Yes, he wanted you to feel as hurt as he did, but he didn’t expect you to go fully ballistic on him. Did he blame you for it? No, of course not. You had every right to be mad at him as he had acted out in completely blind rage. Not bothering to stop for one moment and ask himself, am I okay with the possible outcome of what I’m about to do? Had he known it was going to be this, and well … he would’ve never done it.
It just happened so quick. One moment he was staring at the floor covered with broken pieces of glass and the next he had his fist going through the canvas of your painting, destroying the very thing he convinced you to work on. No wonder you hated him…
You hated him and you had every right to. He just wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to take it anymore. Having to only catch glimpses of you from time to time and not being able to say anything because he was too ashamed to even look at you was truly killing him. And he could only imagine how you felt having to see him every day and night. Knowing the person you hated most was living under the same roof as you. Hell, if the roles were reversed he probably wouldn’t want you around at all.
Which is why as Jungkook currently stares aimlessly at the ceiling of his room, he knows he’s made the right decision.
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The night of the fight between you and Jungkook, you had felt a range of emotions that honestly were quite overwhelming. Whenever you’d stare off into space you’d find yourself feeling very sad and reflective, but whenever you even caught a glimpse of your then destroyed painting on the floor you’d feel the rush of anger return all at once. It was like that the whole night, not even an episode of One Piece could cheer you up. If anything it made you feel even more confused because you were on the episode where (spoiler alert) *** dies, and well not only were you mad at how it happened, but sad because it was happening. Hell, that was probably the best way to describe how you felt about the whole argument.
The first couple of days had been hard to say the least, the dynamic between all three of you drastically changing in the matter of a couple days. No longer were there grocery shopping trips together, nor were there laundry days where you and Jungkook would compete to see who could fold the fastest, and of course there were no longer Netflix movie nights where Hobi would complain because you and Jungkook kept cracking too many jokes during the most intense scenes. Your laughs always echoing across the living room walls thus ruining the buildup of the scene.
You were good at pretending you didn’t care, in fact you were great at it. Maybe because a part of you actually didn’t care. You had long been fed up with Jungkook’s moody antics, and him destroying that painting was the final straw. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have gone into his room after he specifically told you not to, but you only did because you were worried about him and actually cared about him. Couldn’t he have seen that before he went full on rampage mode and destroyed your painting? He was wrong for what he did, and at the end of the day he had no right to hate you. Right?
These days you found yourself doubting it. It wasn’t like you were in the entire right, you mean you had invaded his privacy … you shake your head, begrudgingly getting out of bed before dwelling on your thoughts for any longer. The re-do of your painting, which currently sat on its easel, serving as reminder that you weren’t planning on talking to him anytime soon.
“Good Morning to you,” Hobi greets, watching you stomp your way into the kitchen, clearly running on an empty stomach. Jungkook was currently out, either working out or …. Hobi sighs recalling what he saw in the letter this morning.
“Good morning,” you mumble, the grouchy mood that Hobi found himself a little too used to making its morning return. In all the years he’s known you, to see you always this …. down …. was very unlike of you to say the least.
Whether you liked it or not, your fight with Jungkook had definitely changed some aspects of your personality, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. Because no matter how good you were good at faking it, and trust him you were good (a professional indeed), behind that tough wall you had put up in the last month was a person who was hurt. A person who had their heart crushed right in front of them.
Grabbing two slices of bread, you place them in the toaster, preparing to make yourself some avocado toast. You sigh when you hear Hobi’s footsteps getting closer, not wanting to hear the whole “You need to talk to Jungkook” speech this early on a Saturday morning.
Turning around to face him, you’re prepared to protest against his usual lecture, “Hobi I don’t—” the sound of an envelope hitting the counter catching you off guard, stopping you from continuing any further. Furrowing your brows, your eyes glint with confusion. Hobi stares at you with a stoic expression, waiting for you to grab the letter from the island’s counter.
Slowly you grab the white envelope, extremely confused as to what this had to do with. The name on the recipient line reads, “Jeon Jungkook” and for a small second you feel your heart stop, but you’re quick to shake it off.
“This isn’t mine, if you can’t tell,” you scoff, preparing to hand the envelope back to Hobi.
Pushing your hand away, he says, “Read it,” his tone telling you that it wasn’t exactly an option.
Rolling your eyes, you pull out the single piece of paper that’s inside, unfolding the tri-folded letter. Your eyes quickly gaze over the subject line which reads, “Application Approval,” catching your attention. From there you continue to read…
Dear Jeon Jungkook,
We are pleased to notify you that we have received and accepted your application for the lease property of **** Jangsin-Ro, Apartment 32. Your lease will begin on September 28, 2019 and your rent amount is ₩****  for every 1st of the month. Any cancellations will result in a ₩*** fee. I want to thank you for your application and anticipate that you will have an enjoyable living experience in your new home.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,
Bang Si-Hyuk.
Wait what? Your eyes reread the letter that’s in front of you because clearly you were reading something wrong. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you because there was just no way…. Looking up at Hobi, you hope this was another of his attempts to get you to talk to Jungkook, but there he stood, straight faced as ever.
“He’s—” your voice whimpers like a little kid, “He’s moving out?”  
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“Ow!” Jungkook squirms, the feeling of your fingers pinching his arm hurting him, “What was that for?!” he yelps.
“For trying to move out without telling us! And don’t you dare ever pull something like that again,” you scold him, tempted to pinch him again.
Garnering a laugh out of him, you cross your arms like a kid and huff a loud breath of air, “Ah I won’t, I won’t,” he giggles, “Maybe…” he mumbles, but he’s quick to raise his arms in defense once he sees you ready to pinch him once again, “I’m just kidding,” he sings and you roll your eyes.
“Serves you right,” you mutter, letting out the hurt you felt that day to him because honestly, you had never gotten the opportunity to do so…
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September 2019.
“Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out,” you think to yourself, having to come to terms with the fact that in exactly 48 hours from now Jungkook was officially going to be out of your life … for good.  
You were shocked to say the least, when you saw the application letter, not exactly sure about what you felt. You mean, yeah you were definitely mad at Jungkook, but enough to the point where you wanted him officially out of your life? Hell no.
So then where the hell did he even get the idea to move out? It wasn’t like you two were being mean to each other, nor was there blatant hatred being shown on your part. All you two were doing were ignoring each other like two little kids. That should not be cause for someone to move out. Not at all!
A knock on the door catches your attention, “You ready?” Hobi asks, dressed in business like attire. His all black suit made him seem almost intimidating, that was until your eyes landed on his newly dyed cherry-red hair only causing you to stifle a small laugh.
Nodding your head, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time. Tonight was the night of the art exhibition, and you were very very nervous. You had turned in your piece a couple of days prior, but to have to later unveil it in front of everyone along with giving a small speech was nerve wracking. Especially considering you hadn’t involved yourself in the world of the arts for several years now, if anything you were used to constantly talking about accounting numbers and different business statistics.
“It’s either now or never,” you whisper to yourself, not knowing what awaited you.
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“I just don’t get it Hobi,” you rant in the car, on your way to the galleria’s location, “he didn’t see me trying to move out when he was being nothing but a complete dick to me those first couple of months!” you pout, still not having accepted that Jungkook was moving out, despite constantly reminding yourself that he was.
Hobi sighs, feeling as if he’s heard you rant about this since you’ve found out … oh wait … you have! “Y/N—” he begins.
“No listen to me Hobi!” you interrupt, “Can he really not stand the sight of me that he feels the need to move out?? Was me going into his room really that big of an issue,” your voice wavers a bit, but you continue nonetheless, “And the fact that he hasn’t even bothered to tell you! So what? He was just planning on disappearing this coming Monday! Thinking no questions were going to be raised? I mean imagine you hadn’t seen that letter, he would’ve left thinking I hate him!” And to that Hobi lets out a scoff.
“What do you mean?” he scrunches his face, “He still is!” Hobi raises his finger before you could talk, “My turn,” he firmly states, only causing you to drop your defensive shoulders and roll your eyes.
“You two have not talked at all since your stupid little argument where clearly both of you were in the wrong!” he rants, repeating what he’s been saying for the last two months, the topic becoming tiresome, “And now one of you is leaving because neither of you can get over yourselves and just initiate some kind of freaking conversation! Just one conversation and I am one hundred percent sure everything will get cleared up and we can all go back to our daily lives, but nooooo both of you think we’re in some freaking K-drama, actually no, even K-dramas make up faster than the two of you!” he ends his rant on an insult, and you’re left there momentarily speechless.
“You are so—”
“I’m what?” Hobi glares at you, and you only narrow your eyes at him in return.
“You are so wrong,” you state, refusing to now look at him, instead looking out the window.
“I’m right and you know it,” you mumble something under your breath in response, “You invaded his privacy after he repeatedly told you not to, but for some reason you just felt the impulsive need to go into his room and find out what he was hiding. You know, I’m sorry Y/N but if Jungkook’s the biggest dickhead in existence then you my friend are the pushiest one,” he complains, finding his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. God, did the two of you get his blood pressure boiling up.
“You don’t get it, I had to go into his room,” you mutter, not exactly happy with the fact that Hobi is reading you for filth.
“No you didn't,” the two of you begin to go back and forth, voice raising with every sentence.
“Yes, I did.”
“No you did not.”
“Um yes—”
“Um n—”
“Yes, how else was I going to be able to find out what was hurting him?” you interrupt, turning to face Hobi, feeling the migraine in your head about to pop.
“And why would you need to know that?”
“Because I lo—” you quickly catch yourself before you could complete the sentence, crossing your arms and pouting. Like hell you’d confess in front of Hobi.
Hobi looks at you knowingly, “Because you what,” he taunts, knowing exactly what you were going to say,
“Just drive,” you mumble, your attention back to the window beside you, focusing on the view of the city streets.
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“Ah Y/N, there you are!” Jimin greets you and Hobi, having barely walked in from your argumentative car ride, “You’re on in like ten minutes,” he nervously chuckles, worrying only minutes ago that you were going to be a no-show.
“That quick?” you ask in complete shock, barely having taken off your dress-coat. The churns in your stomach begin to make you feel physically sick and there’s now a certain dryness to your throat that you could only accredit to the tension you were now feeling. Your palms were even beginning to get a little sweaty. Why were you doing this again? Oh yeah … Jungkook.
“Come on let’s go and get you set up,” Jimin tugs at your hand, pulling you to follow him. With your other hand, you attempt to look for your flash cards, wanting to remind yourself of the specific points you needed to cover.
“What the—” your heart drops, unable to feel the flimsy piece of paper anywhere near the coat that hung against your arm, “Oh no,” you murmur to yourself, not wanting to panic Jimin, “No, no, no,” you repeat to yourself.
“Okay here we are,” he stops you two in front of your draped-covered painting, pulling out a lapel mic from his pocket, clipping it onto the collar of your outfit. Now that you weren’t moving, you were now barely taking note of just how many people filled the galleria, and it was a lot. There had to be at least 200 people, minimum. Each and every one of them slowly looking around at the already unveiled art pieces, their eyes doing the judging for them.
“Jimin I don’t know—”
“Hey, you’re gonna do just fine, it’s just a bit of stage fright I’m sure,” he reassures, and though you appreciate the gesture, coming from him it just didn’t mean much. You see, Jimin has always been what's called an optimistic person, similar to you in a way. Always trying to find the good in the bad. But in order for his words to really have some effect, it would’ve been better if he was a pessimist, someone who always saw the negative in everything because then to hear that you would do just fine would come more as a shock rather than as something expected, someone like—
You shake your head,“I’m just,” your outfit suddenly begins to feel as if it's squeezing the life out of you, “I’m really nervous,” you whisper to him out of breath, watching as people begin to crowd around your area. Were the walls closing in or was it just you?
He begins to test the mic, “Jimin—” you repeat his name, a cry for help, “I can’t—” but it’s too late.
“Hello everyone,” he speaks into his own microphone, and you scan the audience to see if you can spot Hobi. When you do, you notice the look of panic he has on his own face, probably aware of your distressed state, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, “This artist I’m introducing to you, has been a personal friend of mine for years. I’ve known her since my first year in college, and I can vouch for just how talented she is,” Jimin glances at you, unaware of just how truly panicked you were, “So without further ado, y/n take it away,” he steps away, leaving you under the sole spotlight.
Remaining silent for a moment, you stare at the several pairs of eyes that had their gaze solely focused on you. “H-Hello,” you stutter into the mic, glad that it wasn’t a handheld one as you were sure that you would’ve been a jittering mess, “Um my name is y/n l/n,” you nervously smile, trying to find something to focus your attention on. Originally you planned on staring at Hobi the whole time, only to find out it made you even more of a stuttering mess. God, was it getting hot in here.
“So um I think we should um reveal the painting first,” you sputter out, signalling to Jimin that it was time. Slowly he removes the drape, the sound of clapping providing you a bit of a soothing effect. People liked it. People freaking liked it. It felt as if a brick or two had been dropped from your shoulders.
You gulp continuing with your speech, “So I um—” breathe y/n, “I call this piece safety net,” you turn sideways towards the painting, ready to explain, “I call it that because as y-you can see in the painting,” you mindlessly point to it as if the audience couldn’t see it themselves, “There’s the um the figure falling into what I call a safety net of flowers and—” you stare at the painting along with them, finding yourself getting lost in your own work, “well I painted this after—” you pause, the room completely silent, “after finding myself wanting to be someone’s safety net,” you mumble to yourself, a certain person coming to mind.
There’s an awkwardness to the room, the kind of stiffness you only find in tense moments. You weren’t sure if it was because the audience was trying to be respectful or you were just making a complete mess out of yourself, but either way Jimin awkwardly coughs, “So um we will now take questions from the audience,” Jimin hesitantly says, by now noticing the extremely panicked state you were in, but unsure of what to do.
A woman raises her hand, a volunteer for the galleria handing her a mic, “Hello,” she politely greets, giving you a warm smile, “So I was curious as to why you chose two colors that don’t conventionally go well together, I was wondering if you did that on purpose or…” and though you know her question means no harm, the voice in your head was convincing you that this was some kind of an attack.
“I um—” your breathing becomes heavier, “I—” Just speak, you keep telling yourself. Tell her that you chose two colors because they represented two different personalities. Say something you freaking idiot. “I um c-chose—” you begin to hear the sound of people murmuring all around you, their voices echoing loudly through your head. What were they saying? Did they hate your painting? Did they think it made absolutely no sense? Was it really that bad? What were you thinking when agreeing to do all this? How could you have been convinced to do this? You didn’t paint anymore for this exact reason.
With every thought that races through your mind, the sudden sense of impending doom only becomes stronger and your rapid breathing becomes louder. You had to be sweating because God did it feel like a fucking sauna in here. The tightness in your throat wasn’t helping at all as well only making the feeling of nausea further overwhelming. You needed to get out of here. Now.  
And so without thinking… you run.
You yank out the mic and begin to run to God knows where, ignoring the shouts of your name along with the small number of gasps that could be heard.You needed to breathe again, and you desperately needed this feeling of danger to be gone.
Trying not to bump into too many people walking the dark city streets of Seoul, focusing on the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement, tuning out everything around you. “Just run,” you tell yourself, “Run until no one can find you.”
Soon the sound of your heels clacking against the pavement becoming the sound of your heels crunching against leaves. The pitch blackness of your surroundings causes tears to begin to well up, the trembling of your fingers along with the chills running down your spine making you feel as if you were running in an endless loop. Stop. Stop. Stop.
You come to sudden halt, pushing your arm against a nearby tree, desperately trying to catch your breath. You were alone now, isn’t this what you wanted? So then why did you still feel as if the world was crashing down on you. Why couldn’t you breathe? Why were hot tears spilling from your eyes? What the hell was wrong with you?
By now your sobs are in full force, your heaving chest only adding to its force. Because of your crying, you fail to hear a voice, “There you are!” Jungkook catches his breath, surprised at how fast you could run in heels. For a small second he thought he had lost you in the chase, with the way you maneuvered around everyone, he was thankful he hadn’t.
“Y/N,” he calls out, expecting you to turn, but he’s met with silence. You were having a panic attack, a bad one at that. Making his way closer to you, he’s careful in how he approaches you, grabbing your hand before you could run any further, “Y/N,” he repeats, this time turning you to face him, but you continue to cry in hysteria, your vision blurred by just how fast tears were falling from your eyes.
“Hey, hey, hey, look at me y/n,” he cups your face with his hands, a worrisome but firm look on his face, “I need you to breathe with me, okay?” your chest continues to heave, the rapid breaths of air coming from your mouth at an alarming rate, “Y/N!” he shouts, causing you to go silent, “Y/N…” he softly repeats, knowing he’s gotten your attention. You stare at him in silence, “One,” he inhales a big breath of air, “Two,” he exhales out, “Inhale,” he repeats his actions again, “Exhale,” he breathes out.
Slowly you begin to follow. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
In no time, your heartbeat begins to slow down, your mind focused enough on the task at hand that you begin to forget why you were ever panicked to begin with. “Hey,” Jungkook whispers, caressing your cheek with his hand, “You’re doing great,” he reassures you, providing you the words of comfort you so desperately needed to hear right now.
It had been so long since you’d gone through having a panic attack, almost forgetting just how bad they could sometimes get. But for now staring into Jungkook’s eyes and practicing some breathing exercises was enough to remember that no matter how bad they got, you’d get through them.
His fingers gently graze your cheeks, continuing to mumble small phrases of reassurance while you were getting control of yourself.  “Has anyone ever told you,” you place a finger to the corner of his eye, quietly breathing your words out, “you have very round eyes,” you say and Jungkook lets a huffed laugh out in response.
He scrunches his nose and smiles, “Yeah, a lot of people have actually,” he laughs, a toothy grin spreading across his face while he uncups your cheeks, feeling a sense of tranquility wash over him as he knew you were going to be just fine, “I’ve been told they look like a doe’s eyes,” you quietly nod your head yes, agreeing with his statement, a warm smile on your face.
“Come on,” he intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you to follow him and leading you to a park bench that was near. But the thing was, it wasn’t just any park bench, it was the park bench from the night Jungkook was drunk and the two of you had gotten into the fight with that drunk man. What were the odds? You hadn’t even noticed that you ran this far till now...  
He exhales a large breath of air once you two sit, allowing a neither comfortable nor awkward silence fill the air. Despite the heartwarming moment that happened only minutes ago, there were still things that needed to be talked about. Things that simply couldn’t be forgotten. It was the sole reason he had gone to the art exhibition because he wanted, no, he needed to talk to you.
He just hadn’t expected to see you running out in complete panic right as he walked in. The tears that were slowly rolling down from your eyes, causing him to feel a sudden sense of heartbreak. For the only reason you’d ever cry would be if your hard work were to be destroyed, whether physically or emotionally. It was the same despaired look you had given him that fateful day he decided to throw everything good that was becoming of his life out the window.
And so to see the scene in front of him play out had definitely caused both a mix of anger and sadness to boil within him. His urge to defend and protect you, almost overcoming his need to go out and make sure you were okay. That was until he found himself running out the door, signalling to Hobi that he’d handle it.
And so now here the two of you were, quietly sitting on a park bench with your hands being the only things physically touching, a comfort of its own for the both of you. It didn’t feel weird nor did it feel wrong because if anything it just felt right.
A part of you thinks and hopes it could remain like this forever, scared that if it didn't, you’d have to return back to the world where you and Jungkook were nothing more than strangers who were once friends. The world where acting as if one or the other didn’t exist was completely normal. The one where you’d find your heart selfishly longing for him despite stubbornly not wanting to. And so whether it be for a small second, a minute, or an hour, for now at least you just wanted to savor the moment because who knew what would possibly happen if he decided to leave and never come back.
“Y/N…” he begins.
“Shh,” you whisper, your puffy eyes softly gazing at the view of the trees in front of you, the silhouettes of trees as well sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches, a view you were once so scared of, not so scary anymore, “Just one more second,” you close your eyes, taking in one final breath of air. Jungkook feels his heart swell at the sight, remembering the scene from only months ago where it had been you doing all the staring. You pull his hand when you’re ready, your soft gaze now directed towards him.
“I just—” he begins to stutter, “I wanted to—” he feels his eyes get watery, the rush of emotion he was beginning to feel almost overwhelming him, “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” his voice slightly cracks, “for everything,” he whispers, allowing a tear to fall from his eye, feeling the weight he had been holding onto his shoulders now falling. The small leaks of vulnerability that you had occasionally seen now completely flooding through his walls of defense, that single tear becoming several, until soon you hear a sob emit from his mouth, but by then you have him wrapped in a hug, the sound of his sobs being muffled by your shoulder. Slowly you caress his hair, gently stroking and twirling the locks of his wavy hair in between your fingers, deciding that this time around silence was the best way to go.
“I’m so sorry,” he hysterically cries, holding onto you tighter, as if you’d go anywhere. He begins to shake his head, struggling to find the words that’d best describe how he felt at this current moment, “I’m—”
“Hey, hey, hey,” it’s your turn to say the words, gently pushing him off you so he could meet your gaze, “I know,” you reassure, “and I forgive you. The same way I’m sure you’ve forgiven me for snooping around your room like that,” you jokingly assume, and he smiles despite having red bloodshot eyes, “We were angry, and we said and did things that we shouldn't had but that doesn’t mean we have to hold them over our own heads for the rest of our lives,” you grip his hand tighter, “you made a mistake, and I made one as well. And rather than explode on one another and ignore each other, we should’ve talked about where we went wrong, and yeah,” you repeat your words from months ago, “maybe we didn’t get to do this as early as we hoped, in fact we’re quite late,” you giggle, “but we’re here nonetheless. And so let’s talk,” you say, ready to listen to the boy you had fallen in love with.  
Jungkook stares at you in silence, a million thoughts racing through his mind, wondering how you always knew exactly what to say at the exact moment, “I,” he hesitates before continuing, “I need to start from the beginning,” he says, wiping any residue from the tears in his eyes, ready to open up the book he had kept closed for so long.
You nod to him, signalling that you were listening, “When I was a kid, I um,” he gulps, “I guess you could say I had a knack for boxing. Originally, my dad had taught me as a way to protect myself if I ever came across a situation that’d require me to defend myself,” his fingers begin to fidget within yours, a sign that he was nervous. Quick to soothe him, you rub small circles on the palms of his hands, his gaze occasionally avoiding eye contact.
“But I also think it was because my dad, who once wanted to be a boxer himself, saw me a way to vicariously live out his dream. Because soon he noticed that the knack I had for it was more of a talent,” a small smile appears on his lips, “and well by then he had begun to seriously train me… I remember always coming back after school and dulging right into practice, waking up on weekends and running laps at the park with my dad in order to gain stamina, and just,” he exhales a breath, “and just thinking to myself how proud I wanted to make him,” uncontrollably a tear falls from his face once again, and he tries to gain his composure before continuing, not wanting to begin the sob fest too early, “Once he thought I was ready, my dad had begun to sign me up for amatuer competitions, and well I did amazing,” Jungkook laughs.
“And soon boxing would become the sport I’d find myself building my life upon, but one day—“ he sighs, knowing the conclusion to his own story and well this was only the beginning, “one day during high school we had this um career day I guess you could call it, and well long story short after going around and listening to how passionate some of spokespersons were of their careers, I remember thinking, is boxing something I was doing for myself or for my father?”
A sad smile appears on his face, “I think the most confusing part for me was that I wasn't exactly passionate about anything else but I also just knew deep down in my heart that boxing wasn’t for me, you know? To this day I don’t know what exactly it is I'm passionate for,” he laughs, “and I certainly don’t see myself making coffee and flipping pancakes for the rest of my life,” he jokes around, an attempt the make the atmosphere a little lighter, “but I think with the help of someone I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay to be a bit of a late bloomer,” he winks at you, “one day I’ll wake up and just know…”
You give him a small reassuring smile, happy to know that he’s learned his own lessons along the way, even if it required a bit of pushing.
”But back to my story,” he awkwardly laughs, the small feign of happiness gone, “Though I had realized it already… maybe it was because I was scared, or maybe it was just—” he shakes his head, unable to find the words, “I just,” he sighs, “I just couldn’t tell my dad because for me telling my dad would feel as if I was telling him that all the years of hard work were going down the drain. That the endless nights of working out and exhausting ourselves to sleep were all for nothing. And so when my dad told me that managed to get me a spot at some training camp in the states, I took it. I mean it wasn’t like I had anything going for me here in Korea, and well I needed to guarantee my own future,” he shifts uncomfortably, remembering everything a little too vividly.
“I did pretty well for a couple years, slowly began climbing the ranks, and the natural talent I had for the sport was beginning to really shape itself, even catching the attention of prominent sport reporters. Long story short, I’d find myself surrounded with nothing but yes men and leeches who wanted nothing more than a piece of my so called success,” he gazes off to the distance, ashamed of the ego that had been built as a result of such people, “and well when you get told that you’re the best, that no one can stop you, that you’re untouchable, you truly begin to believe it,” he lets out a chuckle, “so when Brandon Star, a man who was nearly out of my weight class, began to provoke me for a fight on television after winning some match and I kept hearing from my so called friends that it’d be an easy match or that it was a guaranteed win, how could I say no? Of course at the time I didn’t know that they would be betting against me… so I said yes.”
A momentary silence fills the air as Jungkook had never told this whole story to anyone, the revealing of everything somewhat freeing for him, “A part of me knew I was way in over my head, it was like a gut feeling, you know? But I needed someone, anyone, to tell me the truth and to confirm what I was thinking. I needed someone who was going to criticize me instead of nodding their head yes and pretending that everything was going to be just fine. I think that’s why when I first met you, you reminded me so much of the people who were around me in the states, faking a smile in order to spare my feelings.” Sadness clouds his features, ashamed of how he took everything out on you when all you were doing was simply being the person you always were... kind. For that, he was truly sorry.
“Anyways,” he continues, “that night of the fight, the feeling I had in my stomach was overwhelming. I told my dad, who was helping prep me backstage like he always did, that I felt nervous. That I was scared,” his voice cracks and he closes his eyes, remembering the scene as if it was yesterday, “and my dad well...he’s always struggled with separating being a father and being a trainer,” Jungkook tries to contain the sob that’s begging to come out, “but at that moment I just needed my dad. I needed him to tell me that win or lose everything was going to be fine. That he’d be proud of me no matter what,” he finally cries, and as you’re about to pull him into another hug, he vigorously shakes his head, stopping you from doing so.
“No, I need to finish thi—”
“Jungkook,” you softly interrupt because it wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear anymore, you just weren’t sure if you could hear anymore without at some point sobbing yourself,  “you don’t need to, especially if you’re not ready,” you stare at him with a sad look on your face.
“No, you deserve to know,” he firmly states, “you deserve to know,” he quietly repeats to himself. You nod your head in understanding, waiting for him to continue as he wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, composing himself.
“He told me that I’d do just fine, that the son he’s trained so long for wouldn’t fail him now,” he mumbles, the words of his father still echoing in his mind, “When you go and box, you’re supposed to enter that ring with no concerns of the real world, you’re supposed to put any negative or anxious thoughts you had outside the ring to rest. Because the moment you let just one of those thoughts seep through, you might as well hang up your gloves right then and there,” his expression hardens, “I went into that ring knowing I was going to lose…”
“From there I don’t remember too much,” he bitterly lets out a laugh, “I just remember being on a gurney and feeling the heaviness of Star’s punches beginning to weigh down on my chest, clearly having done some damage to my ribs,” he sighs, “but the moment I remember so clearly is my parents trying to make their way to me, doing their best to push their way in an effort to see me. I don’t know if it was because I was just so mad at myself,” his voice shakes, “or because I confused the look of sadness on my dad’s face with disappointment, but at the time—“ his voice falters again, “At the time I thought how ashamed he must’ve been of me,” he fights through his tears, trudging through the story, “And so as I was being lifted into the truck, I kept yelling how this was his fault, that it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this position,” Jungkook lifts his head up, combing a hand through his hair.
“When I got to the hospital, I refused to let my parents see me, I was just too—“ God, did he sometimes wish he could go back in time and change everything, “I was too stubborn, too ashamed with myself to even look at them. So I ran,” he says, catching you by surprise, “I needed time alone so I ran,” he repeats, “I ran before they could find me, I just got up and ran,” there’s a haunting emptiness that lingers in his voice, one that brings chills down your spine.
“I called Hobi, and I told him that I needed to redeem a favor,” your mind flashes back to the night Hobi told you what he knew, “And I thought this is what I needed. That I’d be okay with starting anew, and that if I could firmly plant my feet in Seoul then I could visit my parents in Busan, and tell them how sorry I was without them having to worry too much about what the future would hold for me… and explain to them what happened, what I felt, and why I ran. That was my plan,” his voice cracks, “I was reaching a point in my life where I felt so content, so happy. I’d wake up to see you and Hobi making breakfast while imitating some random girl group dance and think to myself how things had managed to turn out so well for me despite my failure in the states. Or when we binged on One Piece episodes that whole night while stuffing our faces in tubed ice cream and I just felt like a little kid again without a worry in the world. But then …”  
Jungkook feels the heavy feeling in his chest grow, “He passed away,” and just like that Jungkook feels as if the air has come out of his lungs, the same way it did the night he found out.
You feel your heart break at his words, recognition dawning over your face as everything was beginning to make sense. “My mom had managed to find my number in order to tell me there’d been an accident, and I just couldn’t believe it at first,” he attempts to hide his grief by stifling a sob, “I didn’t want to get up from bed at first because getting up would mean facing reality, it’d mean accepting that it wasn’t some kind of twisted fucked up nightmare but that it was real. That the last sight my dad saw of me was on some gurney,” his face twists, “that the last words I ever said to him were so—“ he breaks down, sobbing once again and this time you feel your own hot salty tears fall from your eyes, wrapping in such a tight hug that you weren’t sure if it was for his or your own sake.
He cries a sound so raw that it was almost as if the wound was still freshly cut, his hand clasping tightly onto your clothing for support. Any last defensive wall he had up was washed away by his salty tears, finally facing the final waves of grief, loss, and devastation in the arms of the person he had taken everything out on. The person he didn’t deserve at all, but had stayed nonetheless. You whisper sweet comforting words to his ear, wanting more than his grief to subside so that you could see the smile you loved so much appear on his face again.
“I just wish there was something I could’ve done differently,” he shakes his head, “so that he could know just how much his son loved and appreciated him,” he lifts his head up from your shoulder, wiping his tears away, and practicing his breathing as his chest had been heaving so bad because of his sobs, “And so that was why I completely changed that June and became cold. That was why I got so mad when I saw you in my room with the broken trophy I had gotten when I was a kid because I was just so reminded of everything,” he frowns, “and it had hit me like a freaking truck. To see my current world and the past one collide was just—“ he pauses, “overwhelming to say the least,” he concludes everything and you’re left there completely speechless.
You could’ve never in your wildest dreams even guessed that this was why Jungkook had come back to Seoul and why he had acted so cold for so long. His grievances had happened in such a short period of time, that all it took was one wrong move to set him completely off. No wonder he had kept himself so isolated … he knew he was ticking time bomb waiting to finally explode at any given moment.
The two of you stare at each other in silence, his words processing in both of your minds. You want to say the words that are currently repeating themselves in your mind, I love you. Three simple words that could make him forget his past, even if it was for a small moment in time. “Jungkook—” he looks up at you, “I—” you stutter, the words clinging onto the tip of your tongue, “I um,” you feel your chest become heavy as he stares at you in curiosity, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” you force out instead. He furrows his eyebrows, ready to protest against your apology, but you’re quick to interrupt before he gets the chance to.
“Since you’re being so honest with me, I feel like it’s only right I’m honest with you,” you bite your lip, disappointed with your cowardice, “So that like that we get a better understanding of one another,” you feign a smile.
“There’s a reason why I got so um…” you pause, “anxious before and during the galleria,” you narrow your eyes, it was now your turn to open a book that’d long been left incomplete. “I told you right? That I was an art student at Busan’s Art college but that I ended up transferring after an incident occurred…” He quietly nods, allowing you to continue, “and well I think I’m ready to talk about it,” you let out a breathy chuckle.
He stares at you in silence, ready to listen as well. “Growing up, I really liked painting,” you laugh, recalling the memory of you painting on the walls as a kid, “for some reason it was something I found myself falling further in love with every calendar year, but my parents, well they were on the more skeptical side of making a career out of it. I mean I don’t really blame them,” you sound unsure, “I mean I know that it’s hard these days to find success in the world of arts, or at least the level of success most people want to obtain but originally for me it didn’t matter,” you chuckle, remembering how naive you had been.
“Before entering college, I’d sell my little paintings and merchandise on those small-business centric websites like Etsy and stuff,” you say for example, “and you’re right, when you get told that you’re good at something, you really begin to believe it…”
Jungkook wants to interrupt and tell you that whatever your situation was, was much more different than his. That you were actually good at what you did, no, you were amazing at it. He wasn’t sure if he could listen to you talk down on yourself, but nonetheless he continues to listen.
“My first year of college I met people like Jimin who were so passionate about what they do that it really cemented the idea I had in wanting to turn my water painting into a career,” you sigh, “but in the back of my mind I always did have tiny doubts that lingered, and I always made sure not to feed them too much, but when you’re surrounded by people who are just as talented or even better than you, it gets hard not to.”
Jungkook completely understands where you’re coming from, having been in a similar position himself before. “And it didn’t help that my parents were constantly breathing down my neck about finding a different career to focus on,” you shrug “anyways,” you continue, shaking your head, “In Busan’s Art College, like many other colleges there are departments, like STEM and Business for example, but in this case things are separated by like dance, art, film, et cetera. And well if you can’t tell I’m a bit of a … pushy … person,” you laugh and Jungkook softly smiles, neither agreeing or disagreeing, “I think it’s due to me always feeling a need to overcompensate my insecurities, I guess. Like when you first moved in, in order to reassure myself that you didn’t hate me, the pushy side of me came out,” you explain, and the same way you began to understand Jungkook as he was explaining his story, Jungkook was beginning to understand you as a person.
“Well back to the focal point, I was a part of a committee club for painters within the art department, thinking that if I took charge of something, it’d increase my chances in succeeding in my career once I graduated. But the thing is, is when you join those committees I guess you could say there’s like a hierarchy of some sort, a cliché come to life,” you try your best to keep the conversation as lighthearted as you can, wanting the energy in the air to become one that was positive, a reflection of just how much you two had grown, “and well during my second year we were all assigned a project for some city poster in which we’d present to the committee’s leader, Nari, and where she and a couple of others would then choose which one was going to be used. And let me tell you, this was a career making project. The people who were going to be at the unveiling were names like Ji Hye Yeom, Haegue Yang, and more,” you sigh knowing you were coming to the rough part of the story.
“Nari had specifically told us that we were to only use materials she had chosen for us, and limited us to certain color schemes that in my opinion were the ugliest schemes I’d ever seen,” you scoff, “So me being the pushy person I am, I went ahead and continued with my original plan, which was making a watercolor painting because at the end of the day if my painting did happen to get chosen, I wanted it to be a genuine work of mine, not something that was limited by someone who was no more superior than me all because of some flimsy title,” you softly shake your head, “And so I poured my heart into it, working on it every chance I got during that school year in order to make sure that the committee would be so amazed , they’d have no choice but to choose it even if it didn’t exactly follow Nari’s regulations.”
A feigned smile graces onto your lips, refusing to cry at a situation from years ago, “I was so nervous that day to present it, but I was also so excited. Excited because I knew I created a piece that was so beautiful I—,” for a quick second your voice falters, but you’re quick to catch yourself, “I was just so sure they’d choose it,” you whisper, voice sounding frail and defeated.
“That day I presented it, I thought the silence that filled the room was because they were amazed,” you close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to push back any tears that wanted to make their way out, “God I still remember the extra specks of white and gold I added to it the night before, thinking those extra touches were really going to tip the scale in my favor,” you mumble, the embarrassment you felt that day coming back.
Jungkook feels his jaw harden, at this point an automatic response to the thought of your feelings being hurt. He didn’t know why, but to see someone as kind as you act out of character whether it be because you were mad or sad, always caused a heavy feeling in his chest. The only thing you deserved to feel was happiness and comfort, and though he wasn’t sure it was something, he, himself, could guarantee you … he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.
“After what felt like 20 minutes, of complete silence she slowly got up in front of everyone,” you blankly stare at the trees in front of you, “I remember my heart beating out of my freaking chest for some reason, and the sweat beginning to form at my palms. And the moment she started speaking, I just went blank—” you turn to face Jungkook, who had a worrisome look on his face, “She started to berate me in front of everyone, insulting my hard work and telling me that even despite me breaking her guidelines, the painting still wasn’t any good,” you gulp, “But in fact, her words didn’t bother me at all,” you pause, “it was the comments from my supposed peers that really twisted the knife for me,” you scoff, “and then she did the unthinkable...”
Jungkook feels the heavy weight in his chest drop because he knows what you’re about to say. He knows what that woman did. And he knows why you were so hurt when he destroyed your painting, “She grabbed the canvas from the display board, and she ripped it,” you say, managing to muster up the smallest of smiles, but Jungkook knows that it's nothing more than a facade. An illusion so that he could think that you were no longer hurt by the actions of that woman.
“Once she did that, it just triggered everything else that followed after,” you furrow your brows, refusing to look at Jungkook, “I was being laughed at while having a panic attack,” you scoff, “I felt like I was in a scene from a high school movie,” you attempt to mask your hurt by making a joke.
“I ended up running out of the building, feeling as if my heart was going to explode from how fast it was pounding, and the compression in my throat was almost unbearable,” your voice cracks, “in just 20 minutes she took away any confidence I had in my artistic abilities, In just 20 minutes she made me question everything I knew about myself,” a tear finally falls from your eye, speaking the words you’d never said out loud before into the world.
“I attempted to stay at the school for a couple more weeks after that, but every time I picked up a paint brush, I just kept hearing her words along with the rest of my peers’ as well, second guessing every stroke I made on canvas. I had lost my spark,” you stifle a sob, “After that, I decided to transfer out and follow the plans’ my parents had always set out for me… and well, you know the rest,” you laugh in between your tears, wondering just how pitiful you must’ve looked. But soon enough you feel Jungkook's arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug so tight, you never wanted him to let go.
“Don’t leave,” you mumble into his chest.
Jungkook reassures you by cooing a small, “I won’t”, but gently you pull away once he does, holding onto his hand instead. A look of confusion washes over his face.
“No—” you shake your head, realizing he’s misunderstood, “I mean don’t leave our apartment,” you sniffle, giving him a small warm smile, leftover tears still brimming the corners of your eyes. His mouth gapes slightly open, taken back by your statement. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be moving out by Monday.
“We—” you shake your head, deciding that “we” wasn’t the right word in this case, “I need you,” you state, nothing but sincerity behind your words. Jungkook feels his heart skip a beat, the close-eyed soft smile that covers your face only making him smile in return.
He doesn’t need to say anything because you know … you know that he needs you just as much as you need him. You know that he’ll never leave your side from this day on because tonight was the start of a new chapter in your lives, one that included each other. Gently he pulls you into another hug, the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest being a feeling he could get used to.
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“How did you even know where the venue was, or what the time the whole thing was?” you ask Jungkook, questions that hadn’t crossed your mind that day now forming.
“Hobi sent me a text that same night, very um … straightforward?” Jungkook chuckles, “It read, Art Exhibition. **** Namgang-Ro. 7:30 PM. Formal attire. You either go or you don’t. Up to you. Just don’t go crying later on that you regret not going. And well I had debated for several hours, originally chickening out and deciding to use me not having any formal suits as an excuse. That was until I walked into my room to find that Hobi had ironed one of his own for me to use,” Jungkook explains, “And well luckily I grew some balls and went and well now we’re here,” he smiles at you.
“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cut off too much of the story. We still have to remember all the good that came afterward,” you giggle, and he only flashes you an even bigger smile.
“Ah you’re right, you’re right. How could I forget?”
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October 2019. 
“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.
“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.
You see, tonight was Halloween, and for the first time since you and Hobi moved to your guys’  apartment, you were giving out candy to the little kids of your apartment complex who usually went floor to floor trick or treating and it was all thanks to Jungkook. You were surprised really, you would’ve never taken Jungkook as being someone who was such a kid at heart.
After weeks of begging, he’d finally managed to convince you and Hobi to not only dress, but distribute candy. Usually you and Hobi would turn off all the lights and ignore the knocks you’d receive on the door, choosing to have a movie night than to participate in Halloween festivities.
Realistically speaking, you sorta expected Jungkook to go out and party tonight which is why when he notified you weeks prior that all of you were going to be participating in giving out candy, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. Hobi on the other hand required a lot of convincing and though he wasn’t exactly helping with the distribution of candy, watching him dressed as Batman while lazily sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand was a gift in its own.
Jungkook, who desperately wanted to be a male version of Harley Quinn, had made you help him with cinching his crop top, exposing his toned lower abdomen every time he even stretched the slightest bit. It was…. quite a site … even causing several moms with their kids to “accidentally” stumble on your apartment floor again after only being there 10 minutes prior, your own little green monster finally making its appearance ….
But besides that, your favorite part of his whole costume was definitely the face/eye makeup he had done. The smoky blue and red along with the fake tatted heart under his left eye truly acting as the selling point of his costume. It just made him look very hot, more than usual. Hobi had even caught you staring at the boy on several occasions, teasingly nudging you whenever he did.
With Hobi dressed as Batman and Jungkook dressed as Harley Quinn, that of course only left you, who was currently dressed as none other than a female version of the Joker from Suicide Squad because despite how shitty the movie was, the style in which they made the Joker was still indeed very cool. Jungkook had even lent you his own natural artistic abilities to draw the tattoos where your dominant hand couldn’t firmly paint, laughing at the “twinsies” jokes you made in reference to his own tattoos. It had even given you the opportunity to ask him what each one of his own real tattoos meant to him.
Most of his tattoos, he explained, were done out of impulse. A majority of them being done in the states on a complete whim, but a couple of them held significant meaning to him. For example, his tattoo of a bandaged hand clearly represented his history with boxing. He explained that rather than get the overused boxing gloves as a tattoo, he’d get a simple bandaged hand done, deciding that it looked cooler and that you agreed with. Another example was the tattoo that translated to “Life Goes On” which was pretty self-explanatory, but meaningful nonetheless. Jungkook explained that it was one his favorite mottos growing up, and well recently it seemed to weave perfectly into his life.
But your favorite tattoo? The small One Piece manga strip he had across his left forearm. The story behind it almost caused you to shed a tear, had it not been for your white powdered makeup, you probably would've cried. You see, when Jungkook was a young boy he’d always watch One Piece as a distraction from boxing, falling in love with the story and its characters.
His dad, who’d always scold him whenever he caught him late at night watching the anime, never understood why Jungkook liked the show so much. It wasn’t until one night he somehow managed to convince his dad to watch the episode he was on, and despite not knowing anything about what was going on nor the characters’ names, his dad ended up loving the show just as much as him. The show had acted as a new bond between the two, from buying the latest manga volumes to staying up late at night to watch the newest episode. And well the strip on Jungkook’s arm was from the exact episode he had managed to convince his dad to watch with him that night. The tattoo serves as a representation of a memory he holds dearest to him, a memory of his dad.
“Ah I think that’s the last of it,” Jungkook looks into the last bag of candy he had bought, absolutely nothing left inside, “Wasn’t this fu—”
“Let’s go get a tattoo,” you interrupt, the idea coming to you out of nowhere. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. A tattoo? You? Ms. I do not even have a dot of ink on my skin?
“A tattoo!?” Hobi turns from the TV, now having got his attention.
Both men stare at you in silence, thinking this was all some big joke until you begin to nod, reaffirming your choice, “Yes! All three of us! Matching roommate tattoos,” you smile, not exactly sure what had gotten into you, but surprisingly... completely okay with it.
Jungkook, noticing just how serious you were about this, begins to feel a smile form on his face. It wasn’t like he minded, he just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to regret it the next morning, “Y/N, you sure you one? I mean … you’re not someone I picture getting a tattoo, I mean think of your job,” he chuckles.
“Yeah, think of your job!” Hobi butts in, clearly not in favor of getting a tattoo.
Vigorously, you nod your head, “I’m one hundred percent sure,” you laugh, “I promise you, I won’t regret it,” you stick out your pinky finger, and Jungkook is quick to hug it with his own.
“W-What the?” Hobi stutters, unsure if it was the alcohol or shock in his system causing it. Probably both.
You turn to Hobi, “If you really don’t want it, then you don’t have to get it,” you shrug, “But at least come with us,” you smile, hoping that once you were there at the parlor shop you’d be able to convince him.
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Sitting on the leather stool with your forearm displayed, the tattooist begins to prep your skin placing rubbing alcohol on the area in which you had chosen to get your tattoo. Now that you are here, you couldn’t lie, you were a bit nervous. But mostly because you were skeptical of the pain the needle would give you. 
Jungkook had described it as “a cat repeatedly scratching a sunburn”... as if you were supposed to know what that means. He also said that depending on your pain tolerance you’d either like the feeling, get used to it, or absolutely hate it. It just varied from person to person as well as the placement where you were choosing to get it.
Supposedly the inner wrist didn’t hurt, but with the sudden stinging sensation you were feeling, you were a bit unsure of that now.
“So is that your boyfriend out there?” the woman tattooing you suddenly asks, catching you completely by surprise. If she didn’t have a pricking needle against your skin , you probably would’ve jumped at the accusation.
Trying your best to keep your cool, you respond, “Oh um—” you shake your head, “No,” you awkwardly laugh, “I wish”, you think to yourself.
“Hmm,” she hums, the same smirk Jimin once gave you appearing on her face, “Sorta seemed like it out there, I mean I’m sure if he had the option he would’ve chosen to sit here right next to you and hold your hand,” she teases, and a blush appears on your cheeks.
“Oh that’s just how he is with everyone,” you reason, not wanting to feed into the delusions that Jungkook could possibly return any feelings for you, “He’s a very protective person, sometimes a little too much, but it has its benefits,” you joke around.
She shrugs, continuing to work on the small tattoo, “”Mm I don’t know, I mean the way with the way he looks at youuuu,” she sings, “because you clearly like him,” she laughs.
“No I don’t!” you pout, “We’re just close friends, that’s all….”
“Close friends don’t look at each other like that, and they’re certainly not as touchy as you two are,” she says, only causing you to scoff.
“You don’t know what you’re ta—”
“All done!” she smiles, wiping over the fresh new ink on your skin one last time, “Look how easy it was for me to get you to stop wincing so much,” she winks at you, and suddenly everything begins to make sense. She was trying to get you to relax. Was the topic she chose really the best one? No. But it worked didn’t it?
She places the plastic wrap over it, “So what do you think?” you stare at the new permanent piece of work on your skin, a small smile gracing your lips.
“Ah I—”
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“Love it so much!” you flash Jungkook the two-month old ink on your skin, the digital numbers “00:00” acting as a permanent reminder of the day all three of you officially became roommates. It was small, yes, but to you it meant so much.
Jungkook pulls his own sleeve, showing you his own matching ink, “Zero o’ clock,” he hums, recalling a song he heard not too long ago on the radio.
“Ah too bad we couldn’t convince Hobi to get one,” you sigh, remembering how firm he was that night, “but we’ll get him next time,” you laugh.
Jungkook quirks his brow, “Next time?”
You nod your head, “I can see why people get addicted to these things,” you joke, “they’re like their own pieces of art,” you smile.
“Design mine next time,” he suddenly says, his statement coming off more as a command than a question. Turning to face him, you look for any small sign that he was joking.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’, “I think a watercolor style painting would look amazing rightttt,” he points to the side of his ribcage, “here.”
Eyes widening in shock, you’re in complete disbelief, “You—you’re crazy!” you laugh, refusing to take him seriously.
“Ah I’m being serious Y/N,” he pouts, “Come on you know you want toooo,” he sings, softly nudging you.
You stare at him for a moment, “Are you sure?” you ask, skeptical about his seriousness.
He nods, “As sure as you were about getting that tattoo that night,” he teases, and you only roll your eyes in return.
“Mmm,” you hum, “I’ll think about it.”
“Think?! I’m your roommate!” he dramatically complains, throwing his head against your shoulder, suddenly in a clingy mood. Maybe the tattooist was right… maybe you two were a little too touchy….
You mean, just last month during friendsgiving, Hobi just had to complain in front of everyone claiming, “If you two don’t get your own room—”
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“Then I think at some point this turkey is going to come back alive just to tell you two himself,” he slurs his words, wine glass in hand.
Drunk Yoongi tags in, “How do you know it’s a he?” he squints his eyes, gearing up for a debate.
Hobi rolls his eyes and makes a dismissive motion with his hand, “Not now Yoongi,” he says, causing everyone sitting at the table to laugh, and he turns his attention back to you and Jungkook, currently sitting next to each other, “Are you two going to continue playing footsies or are you finally going to—”
Seokjin interrupts by awkwardly coughing and tapping his champagne glass with his fork, getting up from his seat in the process, “I think it’s the perfect time to do our annual “What am I thankful for” toast, so I’ll begin,” he laughs, all eyes on him, “So um this year I am thankful for all of my friends who continuously stick by side throughout the years, and for the wonderful woman I’ve grown to love more and more every day,” he warmly smiles at his girlfriend, the two already seeming like a married couple despite having only met this year. Seokjin turns his attention to Yoongi, signalling that it was his turn.
He groans before getting up, peeved as to why Seokjin always insisted on doing these things, “Okay okay—”
“This is gonna take a while,” you whisper to Jungkook, Yoongi’s speech now fading into the background.
Jungkook quietly chuckles in response, “You think? How long do you think it’ll take before he starts with his  “back in my day” speech?” he jokes around.
Suddenly Yoongi’s voice becomes more audible, “Back in my day we didn’t use—”
You and Jungkook snortle a laugh, “Not long,” you respond, the two of you trying your best to keep your snickering at a low.
“So … got anything prepared?” he asks, this being his first year and all doing this kind of thing, he was a bit nervous as to what to say.
You shake your head, “Mm no, you just sorta say what’s on your mind? I guess?” you awkwardly laugh, “Trust me, as long as they have their bottles of soju next to them, whatever you say will go in one ear and out the other,” you reassure, remembering the first year you did this and gave a heartwarming speech, just for it to be ignored because Namjoon could’ve sworn he’d seen the “turkey move”. From there it led to an hour debate on whether a dead freaking turkey could still possibly be alive after having it in the oven for several hours.
He nods his head, noting what you’ve said.
After going around it was now the last toast of the night,“Ah and lastly onto our newest member in this friend group,” Namjoon, who had just finished his own speech, turns to Jungkook and pats his shoulder, “take it away,” he gives him a dimpled smile before sitting back in his seat.  
Jungkook awkwardly blinks at him for a moment, not getting up until you nudge him to do so. “Oh yeah…” he forces a laugh, “Um so where do I begin,” you almost feel second hand embarrassment, if you thought you weren’t any good under pressure, Jungkook might take the crown.
“So… The first thing I want to say I’m thankful for are the new friends I’ve made since coming to Seoul,” he spares a glance to the boys, “um..” he bites his lip, “The second thing or person may I say, that I want to thank is Hobi…” he smiles at the drunk man, “well for giving me a second chance per say,” he chuckles, “I know I don’t say it often, but I’m truly grateful for you picking up my call that night,” Hobi gives a small warm smile, “And well the last person I want really want to mention that I’m thankful for is … you,” Jungkook suddenly turns his attention down to you, catching you by surprise.
Raising your eyebrows, you wonder where this is coming from, “I um—” he feighs a small laugh, “I know I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I first moved in, but—” he exhales a breath, “But you gave continuously gave me a chance to prove otherwise every single time until I finally got it right,” he smiles, “and well last year I had a pretty rough year,” he jokes around, “and honestly I thought coming in 2019 it’d be just bad, but you single handedly proved me wrong and made sure this was going to be a year for me to remember and well for that I’m forever grateful,” you silently blink away any tears, not wanting to get teased at for crying after this his speech was done. He breaks away the gaze he held on you in order to finish his speech off, “So with that I say … cheers everyone!”
Everyone raises their glasses of whatever it was they chose to drink, clinking it all in the middle and repeating “Cheers!” before gulping down whatever was left of their drinks. The rest of the night is filled with nothing but laughs and joy, as well as the remainder of the month, every single day creating a new memory for the three of you, until you were left with nothing but...
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“The present day,” you whisper to yourself, unable to believe that the year had gone by so fast.
“What a year it’s been huh…” Jungkook softly smiles, glancing at the time on his phone which reads 11:50. 10 more minutes until the new year. 10 more minutes until zero’o clock.
“Yeah…” a comfortable silence fills the air around you, how had the hour gone by in the blink of an eye? You wonder if it’s the effect Jungkook just naturally has on people because never did you find time going by so fast unless you were with him.
“I—”
“So—”
Your cheeks become a tinge of pink , “Oh you go first—” he shakes his head.
“No, no, go ahead,” he laughs, insisting that you go instead.
This was the perfect chance, the chance to tell him about the feelings you’d grown to have for him in the past year. You just needed to grow the courage to say those three letter words that were itching to be said. It was either now or never.  
“I um, I just wanted to say thank you,” you chicken out once again, “I didn’t get the chance to say it on friendsgiving, but,” you gulp, “your speech it um meant a lot to me, and well I’m just as grateful for you,” you chuckle, “I think maybe even more.”
Had you noticed, you would’ve seen the slightly disappointed look on Jungkook’s face, “Oh..” he says, a small pout appearing on his face.
“What were you going to say?” you ask, faking the pep in your voice, ready to eternally scold yourself for being a chicken once you got back to the cabin.
He sighs, “It’s nothing really,” he shrugs, but you nudge his shoulder before he could divert the conversation elsewhere.
“Come on, just say it,” you tease, “because you either speak now or forever hold your piece,” you look at the time, “5 minutes till midnight.”
He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should say what had been on his mind for quite some time, “I um—” fuck it, it was either now or never, “You know how I told you that I couldn’t sleep right? That it’s why I came out here…” you innocently nod your head as he continues, “well it’s cause I had already sorta been thinking about everything that’s happened this year…” he lets out a small chuckle.
“I mean isn’t it crazy?” he pushes his hair back with his hand, “Someone who was nothing more than a stranger before the clock hit twelve that night is now someone I can’t picture not being in my life,” you feel your heart flutter at his words, “And I mean to think we didn’t get along at first,” he lets out a breath of disbelief, “All because I was a person who was—” he pauses, unsure of how to describe himself from that time, “angry,” he decides to say, “I was an angry person who mad at the world,” he bites his lip in retribution for his attitude back then.
“No,” you laugh, shaking your head, “you were just someone who was… hurt. That’s all it was,” you say.
“You think?” you nod your head yes, “I never really thought about it like that,” he mumbles, “Would you do it all over again?” he suddenly asks, and you find yourself quirking your brow at his question, “Like if you had the chance would you do it all over again…” he further explains.
Without a second thought you say, “Yeah I would,” you giggle, “And you?”
He remains silent for a moment, pondering on his own question before nodding his head as well, “I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again because then I’d get to relive the process of falling in love with you all over again,” he finally says, “I’d get to pinpoint the exact moment this year that I fell in love with you.”
“In ten, nine, eight…” the families around you begin to shout the countdown, and all you can do is stare at Jungkook in disbelief of what you just heard come out of his mouth.
“Y-You love me?” you manage to stutter out, a smile now forming on your lips.
“Seven, six, five…..”
Silently, he nods his head, a loving smile on his face as he leans towards you, the flutter in your stomach only intensifying.
“Four, three, two, one….”
And as if time had stopped, his lips finally meet yours and the only thing you could feel were the placement of warm lips against yours, giving you a New Year’s kiss that would be remembered for years to come.
“Happy New Year!” the sound of fireworks popping are echoed in the background because the only thing you could focus on were the soft lips that were moving with yours. His fingers curl around yours, creating such an intimacy that you were sure you had to be dreaming. It wasn’t until you found yourself kissing him back that the reality of everything finally set in. Jungkook loved you.
Slowly he pulls away, savoring the kiss till its very last moment, “Happy New Years Y/N,” he whispers, a grin plastered on his face.
Laughing in return, you smile, “Happy New Years Jungkook.”
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**
Once you and Jungkook returned to the cabin, you were met with several complaints from Hobi, “Finally! We’ve been freezing all night!” Hobi exclaimed the moment you two walked in, harshly grabbing the firewood from Jungkook’s hands. It wasn’t until he peeped your linked arms that everything began to make sense, “Ahhh,” he gives you two a toothy grin, “You guys, look who’ve finally confessed to one another,” he yells, catching the attention of everyone in the living room.
Suddenly the room is filled with several “finally’s” causing both of your mouths to slightly agape open. “What do you mean “finally” ?” you furrow your eyebrows, looking at Hobi for an explanation.
He scoffs, “Don’t act dense you two!” he laughs, “It was so obvious you two liked one another, you two were just too blind to see it yourselves,” he scolds both you and Jungkook by flicking your foreheads, “You just didn’t have to go confessing while all of us were freezing in here!”
Both you and Jungkook awkwardly laugh, a guilty look on one another’s face. “Well choo you two before I make you two clean everything up and babysit our friends!” Hobi makes a motion with his hands, and the two of you are quick to make your way upstairs into Jungkook’s room. Thankful that he didn’t punish the two of you.
Jungkook is quick to take off his puffy jacket, plopping himself onto the bed like a little kid, a loud breathy sigh following after. You stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to do, that is until you see him open his arms wide with a pout appearing on his face, “Come onnn,” he sings, “Let’s cuddle,” he shoots you a smile.
Playfully you roll your eyes before taking off your own jacket, plopping onto the spot next to him. Small feverish giggles escape your lips once he begins to give you tiny kisses all over, enveloping you in a hug so tight, it would’ve been impossible to ever doubt his feelings for you.
“Jungkook stop,” you laugh, the tickles he was now giving you making the sides of your stomach hurt, “Jung—” you attempt to push his hand away, face becoming red at just how much you were laughing, his own high-pitched laugh echoing across the walls of the room with you. From there he does a mixture of both tickling and kissing you, the two of you truly in your own world.
Soon though, your little game of tickles becomes a full on makeout session, not that you were complaining. Currently you lay under him with Jungkook leaning against you, using his arm that rested on the bed as support.
Slowly he slips his tongue into your mouth, gentle but demanding, nothing less than pure love behind the kiss. “Jungkooook,” you quietly whine once he begins to move onto your neck, every suckle lasting a little longer than the last. His hand interlocks with yours as he continues, you’re hand subconsciously playing with his hair from behind, making small twirls with the brown wavy locks of hair.
“I love youuu,” he cooes, a certain gleam to his eyes. Soon enough, his fingers were teasingly playing with the waistband of your leggings. And God, were you dripping. “Can I?” he innocently looks at you, licking his lips in the process. You’d be crazy to say no.
Nodding your head yes, he nudges your legs apart and begins to pull off the cotton fabric from your legs. You help him along the way, desperate to receive your own pleasure.
Teasingly, he swipes his index finger over the fabric of your underwear, continuing to pepper you with warm kisses on the underside of your jaw. The grip you had on his hair became tighter with every swipe, “Aren’t you wet?” he slyly chuckles, rubbing small circles with his placed finger.
“Stop teasing,” you whine, only causing him to muffle a laugh against your shoulder.
“I just wanna take my timeeeee,” he hums, placing a kiss to your cheek, “Can I take my time?” he pouts, only causing you to roll your eyes, agreeing nonetheless, “That’s my girl,” he whispers, pecking you on the lips before continuing, cupping your cheek with his … unoccupied … hand.
“God you’re beautiful,” he says staring at your pleasured expression, a result of the friction between his finger and your underwear becoming more intense.
“Jungkook,” your voice shakes, wanting needing him to do something before the muscles in your leg spasm any more.
“Shh shh not too loud,” he softly mumbles, because considering how drunk the boys’ were, any loud noise and you’d have someone idiotically stumbling into the room in order to find out whatever the noise was. Not wanting you to complain any more, he slips his finger under your underwear, pressing both his middle and index finger to the centerfold of your sex, “Look how wet you are,” he smirks, coaxing another moan from your lips.
Jungkook couldn’t lie, he’d envisioned this moment a couple of times before, but to have it becoming a reality was completely different than what he imagined. It was indeed better.
“I bet you’d love for me to take these off,” he teasingly pretends to pull down your panties, knowing exactly what he was doing.
“Please Jungkook,” you cry, how was it possible to already be on the verge of releasing when he hadn’t even done anything explicit yet? He begins to move his fingers up and down your clit, coating his fingers with your wetness, preparing to insert his fingers in your aching hole, “Please—” you attempt to whimper his name again, but his lips passionately kiss you before you get the chance to. It’s once he does that, that the energy in the room shifts, becoming one of playful teasingness to one of passion and love. It’s while he kisses you that he finally sinks his single finger into your pussy, your wetness helping him in gradually picking up the pace until soon enough he’s able to slip in another. Your moan being suppressed by the pressing of his lips against yours, softly nibbling on your lower lip.  
“So fucking tight,” he mutters, the squelching sounds coming from your pussy bringing him a sense of pleasure, “Can’t wait to make love to you,” he whispers watching as your eyes lazily roll back, the sight being one he’d remember for a very long time.
“J—Just like that Jungkook,” you manage to stutter out, your arousal dripping in and out of your pussy as he continues with his motions. By now you feel his hardened member kneading against panties, his self-restraint holding on by a string. God, did he wanna fuck your brains out already. Had you been some kind of one night stand and he probably would already be doing so, but you, well you were different. You were his. And he was going to make sure you knew it to.
With his other hand he begins to slide his way under your shirt, caressing your breasts while fingering you, “Take off the shirt,” he mumbles while planting kisses on your neck, and you’re quick to obey, pulling the shirt over your head and uncaringly throwing it onto the floor.
By now you were dressed in only your underwear and bra, which to you seemed a bit unfair and so purposely you begin to play with the hem of his shirt, in hopes that he’d get the message. When he doesn’t, you momentarily stop him from kissing you any further, mumbling a tiny, “Mm take off your shirt,” causing him to let out a breathy laugh. He does as told, exposing the toned torso you’d find yourself frequently gawking over for in the past year. Because truly, his body proportions were insane.
Gently pulling him from his hair, you deepen the kiss by running your other hand across his bare back, the warm skin to skin touch providing another level of intimacy. “Let me eat you out,” he murmurs against your lips, waiting for a simple three letter word so that he can finally pull off your panties.
Instead you give him a small “MmHm,” with a small nod which in this case would suffice as he was sure you were too lost in your own world of pleasure to properly respond. Delicately he removes your underwear, parting your legs in between before lowering his head.
Without saying a word, he runs his finger against your slit, licking and sucking on the fluid that dripped from his finger. What. A. Fucking. Tease. “Jungkooook,” you whine like a brat, the heat you felt below almost unbearable at this point.
“What a pretty pussy,” he rasps, gives your clit a gentle kiss before suckling against it, his saliva mixing with your fluids. Immediately you feel a wave of pure bliss, your fingers slightly trembling at just how good the sudden sensation felt.
“Oh God Jungkook,” you needily whisper once he slips his finger back inside, pushing it deep into your core all while eating you out. Your breathy moans along with the sound of your wet pussy being toyed around with, fill the room. With your eyes half-open, you manage to look down at the sight of Jungkook licking through your folds, his messy hair covering most of his face until you use your hand to push it back, wanting to savor the view in front of you.
“Just look at you,” he groans, admiring the view of your back arched along with your thighs which slightly quivered at the flicks of his tongue, “All fucking mine, you got that?” he asks.
When you don’t respond, he inserts a second finger, catching your attention.
“Yes!” you cry at the sudden jolt of pleasure, his fingers scissoring inside of you, “I’m all yours,” you answer and to that he smirks, curling his fingers inside you. His ego at a level unthinkable. From there he continues to suck and slurp any remnants of your wetness, ignoring your warnings that you were about to orgasm.
It isn’t until he feels a quick rougher than usual tug to the hair followed with a gentle release that he knows you’ve came. Only then does he stop, quickly making his way to sweetly kiss you as you ride through your orgasm. You barely manage to kiss him back, too overwhelmed by orgasm he just brought down on you.
He cups your face once again, making out with you once again even if you were lazily kissing him back, “Jungkook,” you croak out, “Make love to me,” you dazedly whisper, recalling his words from earlier, and without a single word he begins to kiss you again, this time even more passionately (if that was possible) your words triggering a certain fire within him. And despite being in a post-orgasm state, you kiss him with just as much passion as he is doing to you.
By now the two of your hands’ were entangled with each others’ hair, Jungkook roughly pressing his clothed erection against the barity of your pussy. Releasing one of his hands from his hair, he smoothly travels down your back, removing the clasp of your bra with his hand. Deciding not to question his skills, you help further remove it until you’re only left completely nude. Your tits now on full display for him.  
He soon begins to tenderly suck on your hardened nipples, one hand caressing the opposing tit whenever he was sucking on one, providing equal attention to both. You begin to play with the button of his black pants, desperately ready to have Jungkook completely inside you. Jungkook notices your lack of patience, deciding that just this time he’d give you what you want.
Pushing himself off you, he begins to unbutton his pants, your heart now beating out of excitement once you see the band of his black boxers. This was really happening. And though you’d seen Jungkook’s cock before, specifically with a woman having it wrapped inside her mouth, to see it this time around was definitely much more shocking than the first…. Was he always this big? The veins that run along his fair-colored cock only add to it’s intimidating appearance.
Pushing himself back on you, he sloppily kisses you all over, from your mouth to the side of your neck, slowly making his way downard. His cock teases the slit of your entrance, coaxing along the delicate folds of your pussy. Intertwining his hand with yours, he looks at you one last time, “You ready?” he breathes out.
Biting your lip, you slowly nod your head yes, his head then slowly pushing into your tight entrance, a groan coming from both of your lips, “God I fucking love you,” he breathily moans beside your ear.
“I love you too,” you whisper in return, his gaze never leaving yours as his cock tortuously enters you inch by inch, the grip you have on his hand tightening with every passing second, “Oh my god,” you whimper, his pre-cum along with your prior wetness making the push inside more bearable.  
It isn’t until you’re completely filled up by his cock that he slowly begins to move. Each and every deep thrust garnerning both whines and mewls from you, “Fuck,” he moans, his voice raspy from pleasurable sensation he was feeling. Somehow he manages to continue to plaster kisses all over you, his hands tightly wrapped around your waist as he continues to grind his hips against yours, making nothing but love to you.
Your hot walls now take him with ease, the small pressure you had originally felt having slowly faded away. He keeps his thrusts at a moderate pace, wanting to savor the moment.
“J—Jungkook,” you cry out, feeling your second orgasm coming as you wrap your legs around his waist. He begins to pick up his pace, “Faster,” you moan, remembering that he was definitely okay with having rough sex, considering how many times you’d have to hear other woman moan just how harder they wanted back in the beginning of last year. Who said he couldn’t do the same for you?
“Faster?” he questions, a certain spark now in his eye, “You sure?” eagerly you nod your head yes, too lost in the idea of your possible orgasm to think of the repercussions of your answer. Because soon you find yourself getting completely fucked out, the pace of his thrust becoming almost uncomparable to the pace he was going before, this time not caring at all for rhythm. By now you're sure that your different number of cries and moans could be heard from downstairs, but honestly you could give less of a fuck.
The sound of your skin slapping with his echo against the wooden walls, your eyes screwing shut as you felt your high come. His rapid thrust continuing as he fucks you into oblivion, “Just look at you, creaming on my fucking cock,” he groans, by now sweat was forming on the creases of his forehead, “and to think I get to have you like this all to myself, every single day,” he chuckles, the tight feeling in his abdomen signalling to him that his own release was coming.
“Cum in me Jungkook,” you whine, and with that he does, his white milky cum coating your walls from the inside and out. He admires the view in front of him, the sight of you completely fucked out with his cum dripping from the entrance of your pussy, wondering how he got so lucky.
Out of breath, the two of you cuddle with one another, your eyes half closed, ready to knock out at any moment. But before you do, Jungkook peppers one last kiss onto your cheek, mumbling a final “I love you,” ready for the new memories this year would bring for the two of you.
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a/n : ahhhhhh! finally finished with my finals so i was able to finally get this done! for some reason i sorta got attached to this couple, i think it’s because we got to see literally every month of their forming relationship so i just ended up really loving the dynamic between the two lmao. butttt all stories must come to an end :( and i’m very happy with how this story came out, but who knows maybe we’ll this couple again in the future. anywayssss like, reblog, comment, message me an anon or even directly! anything is appreciated (I swear im not a mean person) and ill see yall next time! 💞 
mini taglist: @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ 
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