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After episode 6 I have so many theories and no I am not okay
#dff the series#dead friend forever#my man#my baby boy#my sweetest child#Phee darling#you cannot be a murderer okay#I won’t allow it#unless Jin is also a murderer#in which case#acceptable#I just think they’re adorable#please tell me he isn’t using him#cause that’s cold in a whole new way#if he’s there getting revenge then let Jin be a coconspiritor#they need to be on the same side#I can’t live if they aren’t#this drama might kill me#my brain has come up with a thousand excuses already#also some really good fanfic plots#but that’s besides the point#I need the two of them to be fine at the end of this#and also poor white#this boy hasn’t done anything wrong so just let him go home#pheejin
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“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!
#a buddy of mine is a server and is getting ROASTED on twitter for complaining about#how often nowadays people will just completely ignore her when she greets them and asks how they are and what can she get them started with#and when they DO finally acknowledge that she Exists they’re rude about it all#and how demoralizing and dehumanizing it is#and of course people have taken this and decided that being told it’s rude to ignore that your server exists is actually ableist#like jesus fucking christ you people can’t do anything huh#like i’m serious i’m ND and have terrible days where i go mute sometimes and you know what i do?#do my best to not go out places that require social interaction but if i Must then i’m not a prick to the people i come across#because my issues aren’t their fault. and i owe it to them to not make their lives harder.#anyway i’m so angry for bailey people are so awful grow up and have some fucking AGENCY
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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I’m going to hold your hand when I say this but some of you need to realize that if Devin Grayson used racist stereotypes in Nightwing 1996 writing Dick and Yoska then she was also using racist stereotypes writing Catalina Flores
the concept of an aggressive, sexually predatory Latina is not new, it’s not original, and frankly it’s tiring to see be repeated
acting like the way Catalina was/is portrayed in canon/fanworks is totally divorced from her ethnicity is how we get fics where Dick is triggered by hearing someone speak spanish (not even the specific pet names that Cat used, just spanish in general??!)
and I like Catalina as an antagonist, at least a secondary one, I think the Blockbuster arc has held up well compared to some other runs, I think that Devin is a decent writer with pretty good pacing for comic books which I can appreciate, and shockingly, I’m fine with the rape taking place in canon and the aftermath, as I know that the run was cut short (I’m a dead-dove fan and I’ve always liked any kind of whump, I can see why others don’t though and I understand that)
I also think that fanwriters need to be aware of bigoted source material, and that they don’t need to exacerbate these problems by flattening Catalina into a hypersexual, “crazy Latina” caricature which Devin even didn’t fully do in her run
I promise guys, there is a way to write her that doesn’t lean into stereotypes but still has her doing a terrible thing, I pinky swear
#nightwing 96#catalina flores#devin grayson#I am genuinely glad that people are quick to point out the anti-roma stereotypes used#but people are very quick to accept that Catalina is just like that- no influence from racism she’s just an evil bitch#i still can’t get over how someone wrote dick being literally triggered by someone speaking spanish around him#like he didn’t live in new york. like gotham and bludhaven aren’t large multicultural cities…#I have tips for rewrites if anyone needs them#pleading and begging#this is part of an ongoing trend of people treating female antagonist like static events that happened instead of people making a choice
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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still trying to figure out style stuff (this time with four!)
#i finally caved and got a physical copy of the fsa manga and it came early i can’t wait to read it i’m so excited#i have a long plane ride tmrw and i’m going to read the living daylight out of it#anyways#i was gonna draw the whole chain in this sort of style but i sketched out a few people and then focused way too much on four#i like this style but i absolutely despise doing lineart#trying to get better at drawing things that aren’t rocks or birds#we’ll see#anyways have a great day :)#linked universe#lu four#linked universe fanart#art#fanart#froggtogs
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Sarah Sisko’s whole deal is so horrifying and messed up and DS9 just kinda. Glosses over it
#Imagine you are just a random Australian woman on Earth. Living your life minding your business#and then you get possessed by an alien force who have a Destiny they need to enact#And so controls you to go to New Orleans and hook up with a guy you’ve never met and you marry him and live with him for three years#And give birth to a son#And evidently that was what the alien wanted because once you have had a son the alien possession vacates your body#And you are in control of yourself again for the first time in three years#Married to a guy you didn’t seek out with a son you didn’t have a choice in#And the man is sweet and kind and in live with you! And thought you lived him! But you can’t bear it#So you leave him and leave the kid and hightail it back to Australia because what else can you do??#And eventually commit suicide because you can’t handle this. Your life was upended in an impossible horrifying way for three years#You disappeared from your life with no warning for three years and then showed up again to people who think you just left#It’s the Star Trek universe—‘I was mind controlled by an alien force’ is well known#But that’s not supposed to happen to you. You aren’t a starfleet adventurer you live on Earth. Why You?#I feel like. Sarah your life was so horrifying/tragic and it wasn’t even about you#And even DS9 just brings this up practically in passing and then never dwells on it ever#perpetual perpetual ladies night#Star Trek#Deep Space 9#ST:DS9
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hey you guys know that even if the people inside that submersible are rich billionaires, dying in that metal tube at the bottom of the ocean is a horrific way to die right. like. yeah stupid choices were made by the people in there signing off on a waiver that says the sub is not approved by anyone and they could die. but it’s the fault of OceanGate for knowingly putting people into a Home Depot DIY sub rigged up with an Xbox controller all to make a profit on people’s curiosity.
#ra speaks#personal#oceangate#missing sub#be normal on this post or I’m going to be disappointed in you and hope you grow as person#listen I’m not touching the ‘site of a horrific maritime disaster being used as a tourist locale’ with a ten foot pole#but like the people in that sub are currently going through something incredibly traumatic and will be lucky to survive#and I know we all love to laugh at dumb rich people suffering the consequences of their hubris#but jfc maybe I’m insane but like on a human level can you respect the horror of what is happening to real living ppl for a goddamn minute#there’s also a good chance these folk aren’t millionaires#they’re probably upper middle class folk splurging for the start of summer vacation#‘oh but I bet they’re still rich assholes-‘ THERES PEOPLE IN THERE. THEY MIGHT DIE. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GRASP AS A TERRIBLE THING???#me. low empathy: wow this is horrible. I quite literally can’t imagine how the people down there feel but I’m sure it’s incredibly traumatic#dumbasses making memes: haha dumb rich kid and his dad are gonna suffocate in a metal tube lol
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Oh by the way, for anyone that isn’t aware, I’ll be at Salt Lake City FanX tomorrow (Thursday) from 2-5pm). I got a little table and everything. Come say hi if you can.
#probably you can’t#but I’m surprised how many of my fans just so happen to live in Utah#I guess I shouldn’t be surprised#I didn’t write broccoli this way intentionally#but#they are kinda Mormon coded aren’t they#haha#anyways I’m sure me being there will make a handful of people happy
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Thinking about Andreil in that bus to Binghamton and just telling each other stories about their lives and Neil talking about the places he’s been while they watch the road pass by
It gets me because. Neil has this absolutely crazy life of being on the run and all around the world and it’s brutal and it’s hurt him so badly, but it was life and that means there was still mundanity to it. Little moments here and there that were maybe a little less overshadowed by the general menace of his situation (even when most of them were) that he can look back on and remember. Routines he used to have as the people he was pretending to be, living where he did, that were his norm for a while even as he was always changing again. There’s such a vulnerability in that, because yes, you can know the overarching points and general idea of him as a runaway, but it’s viscerally different to hear Neil tell it and speak fondly of back alleys and motel rooms he only spent a few days in at most yet still remembers.
He’ll tell Andrew about all the bad stuff, felt the relief of not having to edit it beyond his mom being alive (at this point in time), but in doing so he also talks about all these other things that (unbeknownst to him) are proof of life in the sense that they make him so very tangibly real by adding context and feeling and insight into his life and character. And that’s. That’s somehow more intimate even than sharing the violence.
#thinking about what Neil’s life must’ve been like in the Before makes me a little insane#not just Millport but also all those other boys he played at being#all the little temporary lives he must’ve built and uprooted though none of them ever had more than shallow roots back then#he must have so much knowledge about the most random seeming of things just by lived experience#I think part of the intimacy here also comes from the fact that Neil could literally die from being tracked#and yet he gives Andrew a part of the path he took in life#especially knowing that it’s all the little things about Neil and preferences he can’t quite hide that his Foxes hoard about him#they make him more real and tangible bc it’s the only confirmed insight on him really via his behaviors that aren’t staged#and he hands such a wealth of information over to Andrew like that with no worry in the world about it and enjoys that talking#I’m unwell#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#the foxhole court
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Whump writing is all fun and games until the same things you write about happen to someone you know in the next town over. Again.
#third time I’ve seen whump level horror#torture#and abuse#in my local news#I live in small town Midwest#we aren’t supposed to have this#I keep trying to write tonight and I just /cant\#I can’t write the same things without visualizing him in the shackles instead of my ocs#it hurts and it’s fucked and I hate this#I hate it all
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“hey we need you to run as fast as you can for the next 5 minutes” say no more
#was going soooo slow towards the end of my workout but then i put this bad boy on and next thing i know it’s over and i can’t feel my legs#i love this song live so so much but this version???? the one he’s specifically been doing on the long lost and lord huron lives tours?????#there aren’t words. i’ve never felt more alive.#lord huron
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Happy Fibre Optic Friday!!! Say hi to Empyrean (she/they/it)
Also a scrapped i2 concept:
#while Lamont’s schtick is being both a force of entropy + repair — Empyrean is all about maintenance#she is an anxious little ball of sea creature who can’t stand it when her robot/machine friends aren’t in a pristine state#has a special connection with machines and electricity but cannot utilize arcanum#which puts her out of the categorization of ‘arcanist’#she’s a beyond creature :)))#her lack of abilities in arcanum is compensated by her weapon mastery#she can practically make an electric weapon live forever as long as it is charged to her#can also manipulate its software by connecting it to her cables#silly little goober#oc - empyrean#reverse 1999 oc#oc#mochadoodles#so far i have no new ocs without sharp teeth deal with it#oh she may be a literal angel (alien?) but i think thats obvious 😭#I MADE THEM TO ROMANCE LUCY#SHUT UP#her i2 art makes it look like shes fucking the cables and maybe thats okay#ACCIDENTAL OBJECTUM?! Perhaps. Perhaps not so accidental either…
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I made a lmk oc
#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled#and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it#eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in#their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project#they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half#this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no#purpose or direction in life#their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving#meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche#that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man#so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened#the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like#‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO#i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made#before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it#their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall#constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr#I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have#a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j#I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25#SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW#doodles#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk oc#monkie kid oc#myart#my art#xin ya
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I gotta be honest, I despised Shidou on sight the second he pulled up in the anime (because Kunigami) but after reading the manga he really won me over. And it’s not even because of *gestures vaguely to whatever him and Sae had going on* but because of how in love with football he is. Bro really said every cell in his body exists to score goals. He said football is an act of LIFE. I don’t even care that he’s a pervert about it, that is so fire?? After all that talk about “this is a battlefield” and “losing here is the same as death” it’s so refreshing to see someone who doesn’t bring some emo ass attitude to every game and just has a great time. In many ways his independent play style is a lot like Bachira. He’s not trying to prove anything, he plays because it’s genuinely the only thing he loves to do and he can enjoy it regardless of whether anyone cooperates with him on the pitch or not. And I applaud that.
#can’t wait to see my gremlin boy in the pxg match#bllk#bluelock#shidou ryusei#ryusae#bluelock manga#I’m very curious about him meeting kunigami again#kunigami would be like surprise I lived bitch#and instead of being angry shidou just goes SWEET I hope you’re aren’t as BORING to play against anymore
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do you ever remember that most people dont experience Pain while touching their own skin
#my body hurts so bad all the fucking time. how do i live like this.#i can’t believe the people around me Aren’t living like this. like what do you MEAN.#why me. :^(#anyway. i have to put my evil body to sleep now. goodnight.#izzy.txt
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