#I can't stand like this much longer

[nerdycolorcupcake]

I am sick and suffering from anxiety issues

No wonder I'll have to stay out for a good while

I've been too negative lately

It's suffocating

[mortiscausa]

i can't stop thinking how funny it would be if gareth's brothers did in fact recognise him and were just like 'well clearly he has his reasons so let's all be good big bros and pretend we don't know him' and then spend the next few weeks before he goes off on his quest pretending extremely badly that they have never ever met this kitchen boy before nope not at all even while other knights are looking at them and looking at gareth and going 'hmmm'

[asharaks]

okay so a large part of my issue with halsin is that his character feels inconsistent, right. like larian wanted him to be a wise older man mentor character but then they wanted him to be fuckable, and they wanted him to be a nontraditional/nonmonogamous romance, so they made him sexually experienced and confident and casual, but he's also a romance option, so he talks about having Feelings for the player character. and then he needed to be a quest-giver, so he needed to ask for help. and what we ended up with is "guy who up and abandoned his responsibilities at the first chance of adventure, got captured and needed rescuing, makes all sorts of comments about his sexual experience but loses all self control and wildshapes at the first glimpse of ass, tells you he has feelings for you to get you in bed then leaves at the end of the game, and makes inappropriately sexual comments abt the sexual abuse victim if you're romancing him" - all of which reads as an uncomfortable, unlikeable mess of a guy.

halsin suffers from a lack of focus - he's neither a full romance on the level of the origin companions, nor is he a fling or sub-romance; he got more care and attention than wyll, in some ways, but the writing is flaky and weak and makes him look, frankly, like an incompetent, immature manchild. the bear scene is grossly pubescent (it should've been player choice to initiate that, not have it dropped on you that if he gets too horny there's a risk he'll CAST A SPELL and turn into a literal animal. by mistake. and if that's his reaction to seeing tits what's gonna happen when he cums) and the way he pushes for astarion to join you if you tell him you're in a relationship feels wildly inappropriate.

I know halsin has a history of sexual abuse himself (and I've seen good analyses/critiques of the way that's handled) but again I find it weird that finding out about that is locked behind not just a sex scene but a threesome+ scene - the writers really wanted to drive home that This Guy Fucks to the point where he comes across as pushy, and his trauma is reduced to background noise in a scene where he is essentially a sex object. he is simultaneously objectified by the writers, and in-universe by himself and those around him, but instead of exploring that we're just supposed to go with it; likewise, his lack of commitment and emotional immaturity aren't problems in and of themselves, but it feels like the writers aren't aware that that's the character they've written, and so these things are never appropriately addressed, and his arc and romance don't match up with the other characters' stories about growth and development.

not rly sure where I'm going with this, but it bothers me!! I think it's a nasty mix of the writers' intentions at a cross purpose with the push for fanservice, and the whole thing leaves a sour taste in my mouth t b h.

[lilydvoratrelundar]

i have deduced that k9 and nardole are the two main tv examples of a very specific archetype of dr who companion which i love:

on approximate equal footing with the doctor in terms of also being From Space, especially relative to the other companion

explicitly subordinate to the doctor in some way (dog or whatever nardole's job is) and always getting bossed around

under no impression that the doctor is any sort of uniquely special magic space guy, and therefore:

at any point 100% willing to call the doctor out on their bullshit

[yeonban]

Yk at this point I might as well write the novella length post I've been meaning to about Dan Heng and how he used to view Jing Yuan vs how he views him now

[wild-at-mind]

Don't want to tone police anyone else, but I kind of hope that if anyone sent me a misguided ask trying to 'correct' some terminology I used for my own self-identity, I'd be able to reply in a way that didn't frame myself as superior for being out longer than the asker.

[rapidhighway]

just went through some muse tags and saw many ppl taking about how they love will of the people. Like, I WANT to like it. I reaaaally wanted to like it and it makes me want to try listening through it but I don't want to go through that again

[holyviolence]

omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.

[gideonisms]

I also think that hs/the hs fandom was responding to the way the internet was in the early 2010s. it's probably a cycle of influence but I will say that with books like htn whose authors originally wrote like. complex gothic sff angst fic, that type of writing isn't limited to the hs fandom at all. There was a whole time period where if your fandom was even a little sff oriented you would have people writing these epic fics with fantasy elements where two characters would have a wildly complex and fraught relationship destroying everything else in their path for the same amount of words as the holy bible. It's so hard to describe this vibe but I'd say like, gothic sff melodrama with unreliable narrators really had a moment in fandom in the hs time period. Some of that stuff influences the way I think about fiction to this day and like. I do believe muir a little when she says she didn't take anything in particular from hs because even though there are some similar choices she makes in her writing, that was kinda just the vibe back then too

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Think it's confirmed that Israel's participating in Eurovision 2024, so I'm gonna be boycotting it. Sorry I haven't boycotted sooner, will probably make a post closer to the event, but I can't in good conscience support them anymore, especially since they banned Russia in 2022 when the war was in the forefront but they're not doing anything now that Palestine and Israel are in a similar situation and level of intensity

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

vent ig

no one in my family will hug me anymore. i dont think i said or did anything, and i take showers consistently every other day, so i know i dont smell bad.

but none of my friends are very tactile, and ive been too busy to see my boss

so i havent had a hug in two months, maybe more (not that ive been counting.)

and i think i'm going insane.

i havent had more than a hand on a shoulder, at most holding someone's hand for theater, and i'm going crazy because i need to be hugged i need to be held i need to be loved but i guess that isn't in the cards right now.

that's ok. i can wait a little longer, i guess.

[willosword]

the thing about zack's impending involvement in the ff7r trilogy is that i can't decide whether his presence would fix cloud or make him Worse. and that's kind of epic to me

[rxkuyo]

the urge to tell this woman that she's fucking dumb in the pettiest most angry way vs. me having to calm myself down and be as friendly about pointing out things she might want to reconsider because I am trying to help this horse and telling her off in any way will just result in her shutting down and not considering my (very valid) points at all

[emometalhead]

.

[pearl-kite]

living with parents once again proves to test the limits of my mental health

[ottoline-otter]

mr bronson in grange hill is an enigma because of all the teachers he's possibly the one it makes most sense to headcanon as autistic and yet he's so intolerant and awful to the one canonically neurodivergent kid (danny)