#I cannot be held responsible

[hartwinorlose]

this may be the only edissy i ever write but:

i'm imagining a vampire!au where chrissy -- popular, bubbly, oh-so-charming chrissy -- is the monster haunting hawkins

people disappear one by one, night by night, until the town is in a frenzy. what is it this time? more demogorgons? another vecna? they never stop to think it's something more... mundane

and no one would ever suspect the superstar cheerleader is the one luring all these poor victims to their death

of course, mike and the gang can't let this rest. they start hunting down this whatever-it-is, like they always do. eddie doesn't get involved until the townspeople start turning a critical eye to the metal-loving freak with a club litcherally called "hellraisers," and then he realizes it's clear his rep or die

it takes weeks, but they start closing in on the creature. it's focused on their school; it's mostly been students disappearing. mostly at night. bodies drained of blood

they narrow it down to the cunningham household, and that's when eddie realizes: chrissy is in danger

he doesn't even wait for the rest of the gang. everybody thinks his existence is already a crime; why not add breaking and entering to the list of his sins?

he's crawling through her house in the pitch-dark, and that's when he hears it. horrible slurping-sucking sounds that make him want to run away and hide for the rest of forever. but that would mean leaving chrissy behind. so he grips his flashlight harder, ready to beat this thing over the head -- and when he gets down into the basement, there she is.

hunched in a corner

bent over a corpse

and smiling. blood-red on her teeth.

"oh, eddie," she croons. "if only you weren't such a good detective"

[strinak]

fuck, AOS was such a good fandom and so much of it is purged bc it was largely on LJ. just went back and read kyliselle's Vulcan Baseball series and it is still Only on her long-abandoned fic journal.

very excited for the future of spirk (snw) and all respect and love to the ur-otp (tos) but my consuming obsession was the weird enemies-to-soulmates AU of aos

[inverse-problem]

a robot walks in with pixelated kiss marks all over its display screen saying “you should see the other bot” so you go look and there’s just a pile of crushed metal and shattered plastic and torn wires

[royalarchivist]

Wilbur: Who's the lucky- who's the lucky lady, who's Missa, what's she like?

Phil: It's a dude. *laughs*

Wilbur: Phil, you didn't tell me you were bi, and also polyamorous.

Phil: Definitely not.

Wilbur: What does Kri- what does Kristin think of your- of your... husband?

Phil: SHE'S NOT CANON IN THIS UNIVERSE! And we- and it's not like that, it's not like that- it's uh, we're- it's platonic, we're just dude's hanging out protecting an egg-

Wilbur: Who's the top?

Phil:

[animatedtext]

requested by aesernsplace

[39oa]

DAL @ EDM (05.27.24) — WCF G3

[localcuttlefish]

Aw shit the Toreador got off the chain again, who forgot to lock his enclosure.

Listened to Allied Mastercomputer by Entropy Atrophy in the wake of a near-death event for my vtm character and I. Yeah. Anyways this didn’t happen but lord it might if these two ever cross paths again

[Granted, Castor is justified to some extent]

Silas - @hangatyr (I am so sorry friend ik the decisions weren’t your choice so to make up for it I drew Silas w the most razor sharp jawline on planet earth)

[robntunney]

FLOWERS ❀ JANUARY 13

[theinvisiblemuseum]

dorlene dorlene dorlene dooorleeeeeeennee (sung to the tune of jolene)

[hyunubear]

GURL HELP IM NOT EVEN OVULATING RN—

[team-avia]

yo wtf did yall put in Miranda's routes be so forreal

i dont even LIKE mean women, i came into this with a bias against Miranda and got even MORE of an anti Miranda bias playing up to her route so how in god good name have yall gotten a set in my ways bitch like myself head over heels for this woman huh??? be honest with me what spell is in this??? is it crack did yall put crack in this i need ANSWERS

She's just that good. Wife material, yknow? My wife, whom you should let go bc she did all those things 🥰

Cinder

[chattahoochiecoochie]

Drunk In Tampa Bay

Summary: After hours travel can be a headache, especially when you’re drunk.

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: Drinking / Predatory Male Figure / Implied Dub Con ? 

A/N: A little variety goodie bag from yours truly. A little protectiveness, a little PDA, a little drunken something. I saw someone say something the other day about writing to serve a demand. Couldn’t be me. This is for me. 

“Y’all wait here. I’m gonna go get the cars.” Joe had a hand on your back, head on a swivel as he looked around for the valet stand that seemed to have up and left while y’all had been inside. “Where the hell is Ja’Marr?”

“Don’t look now, but Sammy’s gone too.” Your friend was slurring, clinging to the other side of you for dear life.

“What—Sam?”

“Saaaam!” She squealed, tugging on your arm as the three of you scanned the growing crowd. The brunette was nowhere to be found.

You looked at Joe, shrugging underneath the weight of your friend. He seemed uncertain, vague worry passing over his eyes. The valet was sure to be a disaster, and now you were short two people. He looked at you for a moment, frowning slightly before looking out over the crowd again.

“I’m gonna take her to the door, we’ll wait there for the boys. Go get the car.” Sliding out of his grip, you towed Sarah behind you. “We’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” His hand was out, grazing you as you walked back toward the front of the club.

“Promise!” Waving, you shied from his grasp and slipped into the mass of people.

Sarah was heavy on your arm, dragging behind you as her heels caught the pavement with every other step. She was blitzed, completely gone. You weren’t even sure how it had happened. You’d been drinking sure, and Joe just kept putting a hand up for the waiter, like he always did. But even still, you weren’t nearly as far gone. She’d gone soft since your college days, and you kicked yourself for not having noticed sooner.

Nails digging into your arm, she tripped alongside you, collapsing onto a stone pillar as you finally pushed beyond the crowd to the club's front door. It was a madhouse, people filing out onto the street in a mad dash for the next available Uber. Thank god Joe had gotten a rental, you thought, watching as a flash of white screens walked by, people groaning and whining as the wait times kept climbing.

“Do you want to sit?” You asked. Sarah was leaning hard, one hand on the pillar, the other wrapped tight around your bicep.

“Mmfine.” She slurred, shaking her head slowly, chin dropped. Jesus Christ, she was fucked.

If she wasn’t gonna sit, the best you could do was sidle up next to her and give her a corner to fall back on. Shifting your weight against her, you pressed your back to the pillar and pulled her into your side. With an arm around her back, you pressed a hand to her abdomen and let her head fall on your shoulder.

She wanted to go to a local gym tomorrow, see some people she knew from her days before the Bengals, she’d said. That was definitely not happening. You smiled softly at the thought, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she groaned loudly into the side of your neck. Even with her chin pointed to the ground, you could smell the alcohol coming off her breath.

As the minutes passed without the boys coming into view, and Joe somewhere near the street, hopefully closer to getting the cars, Sarah dipped further out of reality. She was drooling a little, head so heavy you figured she must be half asleep. You were wiping a thumb across her mouth when someone appeared beside you. Thank god, you thought, where the hell had—

“Your friend okay?” An unfamiliar voice filled the space next to you, and when you looked up, neither of the boys you’d come with was looking at you. Instead, a short, young blond man was staring at you, gesturing to Sarah.

“Just a little too much to drink.” You smiled, hugging her tighter.

“You guys got a way to get home?” He paused for a moment, pointing to something off in the distance. “Cause—”

“—We’re good.” You tried to sound chipper, suddenly very aware that he was not being genuine. It was funny how that happened, kindness turning into creepy in the blink of an eye or a single word. Tripping over your friend, you stepped away from him, trying to put more distance between the two of you. He followed.

“You shouldn’t be alone out here, with her so fucked up.” He put a hand out, barely missing you as you ducked back. “I could—”

“You could what, big man?” There he was. The nerves in your stomach pooled almost instantly. Behind the stranger, Sam had appeared seemingly out of thin air. He was looming, placing a large hand on the man’s shoulder before pulling him away from you.

“I was just…” The man trailed off, failing to come up with an adequate answer. His eyes had gone wide, color drained from his face at the sight of Sam behind him.

“Thinking you’d bother two pretty girls, standing all alone?” Sam looked dangerous behind him, eyes dark, trademark smirk replaced by something more sinister. You felt small, looking at him. The feeling of safety you felt with him seemed to run deeper, snagging in the pit of your stomach. He was in control, like always.

“I…” The man fell short of himself again, voice small. Sam’s hand crept back on his shoulder until his fingers were on the man's shirt collar, fabric held tight in his fist.

“Fucking creep.” In an instant, the man was yanked backward by the collar. Too powerful for his own good, Sam overshot, sending the man flying when he released his hold on the guy's shirt.

“Sam!” You yelped. Drawn from her stupor by the sound of you, Sarah roused herself beside you.

“Sammy!”

“He didn’t try anything, did he?” He was on you in a blink, arms around you, worried eyes searching yours.

You shook your head, letting your eyes shut when he put a hand on the back of your head, pressing you against his chest. Good, he murmured, letting the word get lost as he kissed the crown of your head. He was warm, heart racing.

“Joey still working on the cars?” Behind you, Ja’Marr was walking up, hands shoved deep in his pockets. You laughed weakly, burrowing your face in Sam’s chest as the humor of the moment hit you. He looked as casual as ever—blissfully unaware of the drama he’d just missed.  

It occurred to you that the scene he had stumbled upon might be just as bewildering—Sam with his arms around you, kissing your head, and Sarah holding your hand and twirling around in a drunken daze. You laughed again.

It wasn’t like you were keeping a secret out right. Hell, Sam had pulled you into his lap by the third round, rough housing with you as the liquor kept flowing. Worse than that, Joey had been anything but inconspicuous, hands wandering, lip pulled between his teeth every time your dress rode up. Sarah had her suspicions—you knew before she’d confessed in the ladies room.

But if Ja’Marr thought anything of it then, he hadn’t said, and he didn’t seem bothered by it now. Walking up to the three of you, he grabbed Sarah’s outstretched hand,  and started dragging the three of you along as he headed for the curb in search of Joe.

The four of you saw him before he saw you, though not for lack of trying—he was stuck up at the front of the valet line, leaning against one of two blacked SUVs, eyes searching the sea of people. Dragging Sam’s hand up with yours, you waved at him.

“Joey!”

“Finally!” Following the sound of his name, he turned towards you, grinning. “Thought I was gonna have to come looking for you.”

“The girls got caught up.”

Releasing your hold on Sarah and Sam, you walk straight into Joe’s outstretched arms, blushing when he kisses your head. “Caught up?”

“Some guy.” Sam says, shrugging off the worry. He’d handled it. You nod along with him when Joe gives you another look, brow raised.

“All good, promise.”

He doesn’t believe you, you can tell, but his trust in Sam is implicit. Letting the subject drop, he hugs you to his chest and reaches into his pocket, producing the car keys after a short struggle.

“In that case, y’all ready?” He tosses the first set to Ja’Marr, flinging the second at Sam without warning.

“Sarah who you riding with?” She’s sobered some since falling asleep on your shoulder, but only just. Twirling in lazy circles around Ja’Marr, her head picks up at the sound of her name, but it's obvious she hasn’t heard the question. Sam tries again.

“Can I have McDonalds?”

There's a look between the three men standing with you, and it’s Ja’Marr who shrugs first. He takes her back by the wrist, guiding her toward the closest SUV's front seat.

“Some of the guys are at the waffle house. You want waffles?” She shrieks in response, clamoring into the carseat without further question. Shaking his head softly, he puts his knee out, guiding her legs into the cab before shutting the door on her. “We’re getting waffles. I’ll see y’all back at the hotel?”

“We’ll see you.”

He leaves the three of you where you're standing, skipping around to the drivers sides with heavy steps. From her window, Sarah is staring at you, leaning against the glass. She’s got a funny look on her face, shaking when a drunk giggle passes over her. Pointing with a limp hand, she gestures between you and Joe, and then to Sam, narrowing her eyes. If she remembers anything tomorrow, you’ll tell her the truth—but something tells you she won’t.

Beside you, Sam is waving at her, grinning. “How much you wanna bet they don’t make it to waffles?”

“Ain’t no way. She’ll be out cold by the time they hit that first light.” Joe laughs, waving too when the car finally pulls from the curb. “I thought you gym rats were good with liquor?”

He’s got a hand on yours, the other reaching for the passenger door of the second SUV, a spark in his eye when he helps you up into the seat. “Supposed to be.” You say, knowing damn well that without the responsibility of watching Sarah to sober you, you’ll be back to feeling your own buzz in no time.

It comes on quicker than you think it will, turning the city lights outside the car into a messy blur. Tampa’s still alive, even this late. There are people on the sidewalks, making the drunk walk back to wherever they’d come from, and cars with the windows rolled down on either side of you at every stop light.

There's an energy in the air, a sense of lightheartedness that only comes at times like this, in the early morning, when you’ve had too much to drink. You blush to yourself, feeling sweet about the fact that you get to share it with the two of them. Hanging onto Sam’s arm, you lean over the console, looking back at Joe with a lazy smile on your face. He looks particularly pretty tonight, blue eyes all sparkly, a loose curl hanging above his brow. You blush, eyelashes fluttering.

Hand out, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, letting his thumb stroke over your cheek. “Feeling it now, huh?”

You nod, head rolling against his hand. Your chest is warm, like the sun is resting on it. When he kisses you, your eyes are already closed, and you hum against him, smiling. He’s gentle, mouth soft on yours. The feeling makes you shiver, and for a second you wish he’d kiss you harder.

Before he can, there's a shift in the car. It’s stopped, and the lights around you are brighter suddenly. Pouting, you watch him pull away from you, sliding out of his seat when a hotel valet opens his door. Next to you, Sam is leaving too, handing off the keys to another teenage kid.

“Come on, babygirl.” Your door has opened, and Joe’s back at your side, taking you by the hands as you climb out, catching you as you fallinto his arms when your feet hit the ground.

Somewhere nearby, Sam is giving money to one of the valets—a lot by the looks of it. Beside you, Joe’s got you pulled against his chest, holding you upright as he leads you into the hotel lobby. You're twitchy next to him, despite a half sober effort not to be.

It's the buzz and the way he’d pulled away from you in the car. You look around for Sam, feeling the way Sarah must have felt about that damn Mcdonald's. Where is someone who will give you what you want? The thought makes you feel guilty, and you whine, nuzzling his bicep with your nose. He’s so sweet and you like that, you love it, but you feel so, so warm.

“What floor?”

“Seventh.” Sams's voice comes from behind, and you look backwards to catch him following you into the elevator.

Reaching a hand out to him, you grab at his shirt, tugging on him. He lets you pull him, smirking at Joe when you wrap your arm around him, putting yourself squarely between them. He’s too tall to reach normally, but you're in those damn heels Sarah lent you, and you can almost reach him.

Your lips find his neck, teeth dragging across his skin. He’s hot to the touch, and sweet lord, he smells good. The response you get is enough, for now. A hand slides over your cheek, cupping the side of your face, pulling you closer, and another skims your abdomen, snagging on the fabric of your dress. Someone laughs, and you whine at the sound, desperate to be taken seriously.

“You leave her hanging Joey?”

“You drive too fast.” He sounds cute, bashful. You feel for him blind, fingers outstretched for any bit of him you can grab onto. It crosses your mind that you might be a lot drunker than you realize. Oh well.

“Oh is that right.” Sam chuckles, leading the three of you out into a dimly lit hall when the elevator suddenly opens behind him. “Better hurry up then, so we can finish what you started,”

You giggle at the implication, skipping next to him, feeling dizzy as another rush of heat rolls through you. So delighted by the prospect, you miss what happens between them entirely, oblivious to the unspoken thought shared between them as you finally stumble up to Sam’s room.

“You got a key?”

“Is this my room?” Joe wraps an arm over your shoulder, kissing the reply into your neck, letting the tip of his nose find that soft spot beneath your ear. The sensation makes you shiver against him, and a whimper rolls on your tongue.

“Very cute, smart guy.” It takes several long seconds, but finally he’s got the passkey out of his wallet and over the receiver and door handle in a single fluid motion, backing through the door with a faint frown.

“You think I’m cute?” Joe pushes you over the doorway into Sam’s arms, spanking you gently on the ass as you skip in front of him.

“’S’what I said, isn’t it?” He’s stopped just short of the bed, hands on your waist. Looking up at him you can see the smirk curling on his lip, and when Joe kisses it off him a moment later, you think for a second you might die.

On either side of you, just how they always are, they’ve got you pinned. Four hands on your waist, fingertips digging deep, threatening to tear the silk of your dress. They’re heavy around you, on each other. For a moment, you’re forgotten, just something for them to anchor on—not that you mind. You’ll get your turn soon enough.

[likegoldintheair]

thinking about eddie on madney's wedding and him being a little bit wine drunk all rosy cheeked and smiles big enough that his eyes crinkle and he's lost his jacket somwhere and his tie is undone and so are the first few buttons on his shirt so he's a little bit messy but so is everyone else and then he spots buck from across the room the way he always spots buck from across the room the way he can't help himself from looking and looking and looking until he finds him and then he has to look away but not this time. no this time he spots buck and eddie can't look away because buck is laughing and the insane amounts of fairy lights hits him just so and eddie cannot look away and he doesn't want to and suddenly he's up on his feet and walking over to buck and he doesn't even notice it until he's standing in front of him and he's still looking and buck's looking right back with this soft tender expression that makes eddie feel both jittery and calm all at the same time but then the dj puts on a slow song and eddie takes buck's hand and leads him out onto the dancefloor and buck follows so easily that it almost feels like this isn't some life changing event taking place that will alter both of their lives forever and they will have to talk about it later but right now eddie's content to hold buck close and slow dance under a million tiny lights

[fearandhatred]

thank you one and all for bearing with me through my insane david tennant breakdown last night. i am happy to announce that i am not better now

[kirythestitchwitch]

Klaroline WIP Wed - Freaky Friday Time Travel AU - Klaus is a Master Baiter

It's been a while since put some of this out but i've been working on my plot issues and writing so here is some FFTT! as always @galvanizedfriend your tag!

Part One here Part Two here Part Three here Part Four here Part Five here

Pulling down a pink jacket, she wondered as she slipped it on if she’d be breaking any time laws if she brought it home with her. Shoes on, she went in search of Klaus.

The bedroom opened on a hallway lined with paintings with two closed doors and a staircase at the end, which curved around down to the landing. A living room was through one doorway, a kitchen and dining room through another. Klaus’ voice, sharp in tone, came from behind a door to the left that was cracked a smidge, and she padded quietly to the door to listen.

She needn’t have bothered, first off, he was speaking a language she wasn’t familiar with, and secondly, the moment she got within range of the door, he called out to her. “Caroline, do come in, love.”

Only slightly annoyed, she pushed the door open. The room was some kind of study or office, with a desk in the middle of the room and a couch over by the window and a corner fireplace, currently lit and casting patterns of light on the built-ins filled with books and small trinkets. A tumbler of some amber liquid in one hand, Klaus gave her a small smile, a phone held to one ear. It sounded like he was speaking maybe Icelandic or oh! probably Old Norse. She caught Kol's name flung out with irritation before he switched to English.

“I aim to enjoy time with my wife after that mess with the ifrit in Tehran that you elected not to join us for.” Klaus gestured to her to make herself comfortable, and trying not to think about how many times her future self had probably fucked Klaus on it, she sat down on the couch. Really tried not to think about it.

Looking at the firelight playing across Klaus' body, the jumble of necklaces tumbling over the neck of his shirt, Caroline very privately had to guess it was a lot of times for the couch. 'Stop that,' she told herself, 'You're with Tyler, and none of this has happened yet. You could make it all not happen.'

Kol's voice, heard by Caroline only once or twice before this, came through the phone clear to her hearing. "I knew you had it in hand, Nik. What's one teeny little fire spirit to the Original Hybrid?" His tone was mocking of Klaus' self-aggrandized title, and Caroline had to admit she was starting to see a future where maybe they could be friends, she and this nutjob brother of Klaus'.

"I don't suppose any of the Bennett witch's books happened to mention they're eight feet tall? Hmm?“ Klaus' voice was the epitome of murderous intent; he calmly took a drink, the corner of his mouth curling mischievously into a dimple that spoke volumes about how much he was enjoying leading his brother on.

”Uh. Eight feet? Really, they uh. Made them seem kind of... tiny.” Kol finished lamely. “We're at the Greek house for the month, don't have all the grimoires, you see.”

“So you've mentioned. I'll be sure to inform Caroline of your incompetence, little brother.”

“Caroline?” Kol's voice turned a little sharp. “She's okay, right? Nothing... happened?”

“Caroline's fine.” Klaus' voice was terrible and final, and for once Caroline thought he was speaking from the heart, like he was saying she would be fine because he willed it so.

“Nik, now just—”

“Like I said.” Klaus did a good impression of gathering himself. “I'd like to indulge in my wife without the family making a nuisance of themselves. Stay out of Brazil for the next month if you know what's good for you.” He hung up the phone.

“We're going to Brazil?” Caroline asked. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. The part of her that desperately wanted to see the world was thrilled. The other part of her that was already freaking out from being in Paris didn't know if going to a second location was a good idea.

Klaus smiled. “No, we're going to the library. Kol is going to Brazil.” Beckoning with one hand, he pulled her to her feet. Pinching the edge of the fabric between two fingers, he gave her jacket a small tug. “Excellent choice, will blend you in nicely, and you look lovely.”

Caroline beamed at him, and he licked his lips, sighed almost regretfully, and then turned away, draining his glass and setting it on the desk. Tapping a touchscreen in the corner of it, the fire went out, and Klaus waved at her to follow him. Feeling a little off-kilter, she did.