#I cant explain how bad I love this family and all the shit goin on in it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

karsonisnot · 3 years

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Alright, so imma try just straight text posting the chapters to my tumblr as well, seeming as it seems to work for other people, however i will leave a copy of the link on here so u guys can show some love there if u like.

https://my.w.tt/KeEgwDgCpbb

MiKayla meets Chloe and Belle for the first time after being seperated from the rest of the world almost all her life. Mikayla all of a sudden finds herself back in the old world when they explain everything that has been going on, with one goal. To take down it all.

*DISCLAIMERS*

This is not about the dream smp member, this is a time where they have grown up and had kids, which is told from their perseptive.

This was written in a time where all these people were alive story wise, so fuck it, they all lived to have kids. No, i will not be explaining where the kids come from, but they are related to their respective parent. Im just too lazy to explain it

And in this, TOMMY AND TUBBO ARE JUST FRIENDS. Stop shipping 16 year olds together, and get your life together.

Chapter one: running and hiding

Everything had been diffrent for awhile. Not that anything about chloe's life was normal to begin with, but alot was changing. Her and her family was forced into hiding a long time ago, before the first retakeover happened before she was even born.

She had been told what had happened countless times, so many it was almost like she lived it. The manburg second rise to power. When her dad stuck around. That was, till Niki got killed in the crossfire of the war. That was when her dad grabbed his best friend and booked it, and ran so far away they would never be found, and built themselves a world out here

She was broken from her thoughts by a chicken in her room. She didnt really think much of it till she realized there was a chicken in her room

"What the fu-"

"NO, GET BACK HERE"

Her dad ran full force into the room, bewilidered.

"THERE YOU ARE" He screamed, throwing himself at the chicken, who just dodgedhis attack.

She fell backwards out of the way, her blond hair blocking anything that happened, until she threw it back into place and saw her dad. On the floor. With a chicken trying to eat his hair.

She sat there and watched as her dad fought with the chicken over who owned his hair. Eventually he managed to get up and grab the chicken before it could try and flee again.

He looked at her, and she couldnt hold back her laughter anymore. His hair was an absoulte mess and he looked like he was in extreame disstress.

"What's so funny, what, do you wanna wrestle a fuckin chicken?" He said, shoving the chicken in her face, just causing it to go more crazy.

"NO NO NO, I will not be fighting any chicken, thank you, please put the weapon down." She said, swatting it away.

"Well maybe next time don't get a chicken in your room."

"Well maybe next time dont let a chicken loose from the pin with the front door open."

They both heard a muffled laugh come from the hallway, and saw Belle standing there. Her black hair in way better condition then either of theirs.

"Well, she is right Tommy." She remarked, trying to look innocent.

At that, Tommy stormed off mumbling profanities at the chicken, and went outside to put it back in its pin.

Belle walked in and went to the window ledge, after a couple of seconds, Chloe joined her.

"How are you this morning?"chloe said after watching her dad dump the chicken in the pin.

"Eh, im pretty good, espically after watching that. You?"

"Im pretty okay."

Belle looked over at her, and saw her looking out into the forest.

"Your thinking about going out there again, arent you?"

"I mean, maybe."

Belle looked at her, with a mix of emotion, mainly concern.

"Come on man, you know thay area is off limits. We cant go out there."

"I mean, why not? We've done it before, nothing bad ever happened, I dont understand the pararnioa around a wooded area!" Chloe said, defensively.

Belle looked out at the scenery. The trees going over the feilds, the lake about a half mile out, not a single other thing in sight. Ever.

"I mean, we always use to go out there at night" Chole began. "We would go out there with nothing but lanterns and we would run around, just not caring about anything. We would play by the lake, we would talk about whatever came to mind, we would bring swords put there and practice on trees, we would do anything, and nothing would ever happen."

Belle sighed. She was right, but they stopped going years ago to keep both their dads sane. They were paranoid about manburg or "worse" finding them. Whatever worse meant.

"Hey, have you two seen Tommy?" A voice said from behind.

They both turned around to find Tubbo at the doorway, looking worried.

"He was suppose to come in after taking care of the chicken."

He walked up to the window, and they all three started started scanning the area, to find no Tommy, anywhere.

"Where could he have g-"

He was cut off short by seeing Tommy run up the hill, clearly in panic.

Tubbo ran out to the hallway just to meet Tommy in the middle.

"Get the kids out if here. Now!" Tommy said, scrambling to his gear.

"What, why, what goin-"

"I DONT HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN, THEIR HERE TUBBO, GET THEM OUT, NOW!"

Tubbo instantly turned around and met the two girls in the hallway.

"Okay girls, with me, and hurry." He said, alreadly on his way to the back of the house

They followed as quickly as they could, extreamly concerned and confused. Tubbo, after a little seaching, found a loose floorboard and lifted it up, inside was a backpack.

"Okay, Chloe, take this, and grab your weapons on the way out the back, and run. Run far away from here."

"What, why, whats going on?!" Belle said, clearly about to break down.

"Look, keeping it short, manburg forces found this area. Just keep running North, and when we can, me and Tommy will find you, but for right now, we need to hold our ground, or risk everything in this house."

"Wait, why not just leave too?!" Chloe said, dumbfounded they even thought of staying.

"Because, there are things in this house we cant risk them getting, now leave please, before you cant!"

Chloe grabbed Belle by the arm and started walking the direction of the back door.

"WAIT!" Belle yelled, forcing chloe to let go.

Belle ran up to her dad, and hugged him, tears starting to stream.

"I love you dad." She said, grip tighting.

"I love you too, honey bee, now go, Ill be there soon."

She let go and ran back to chloe, and grabbed her sword and bow. Chloe took her axe and took for the back door with Belle.

"BE GOOD TO HER CHLOE" she heard Tubbo yell before the door fully shut.

They both took down the hill as fast they could. And ran for the forest. When they were finally there, they stopped for a second to take things in.

First mistake made that night.

"WHO'S OVER THERE!" They heard a man say, right before turning and being met with a crossbow

Chloe grabbed Belle and took off in the opposite direction, not knowing if she was going the right way.

"GET THEM!"

Chloe cursed under her breath and looked at Belle, who was now running right next to her. They both knew what to do. They were taught in this circumstance, move in a difficult way.

Bella all if a sudden split off, and Chloe, hoping they wernt near, grabbed on to a tree and climbed into the leaves.

Guess sneaking out did pay off in the end.

Only about two minute later, she saw people move underneath.

"Where did they go?" A woman said.

"Dont know, but they cant have gone far." A male voice spoke out.

Chloe stayed still, trying to not make them look up, because if she did, her khaki colored jeans and red jacket wouldnt blend in the best.

Chloe looked around and saw something else in the trees. After a few seconds, Belles face appeared through the leaves, making direct eye contact with her. They both did there best to communicate with their eyes, but it wasnt going to work wothout their hands being able to move.

"What do we do, sir?" The female said, speaking up.

"Split up, their teens, they cant do anything to us, so split up and find their hiding spot."

They heard movement happen below them, and after a while of not hearing them, they jumped down.

Chloe, pointed in a direction, next to asking if they should go that way with her face. Belle proceeded to do neck swipey thingy with her hand and pointed the other direction. Chloe nodded, not wanting to argue silently with her.

They both went in that direction, weapins in hand, waiting for something to happen. But nothing ever did. And they eventually put away the weapons and started talking

"Do you know where the fuck we're going?" Chloe asked, clearly done with all of this.

"Nope, not a clue."

"Oh great, this is gonna go extreamly well."

They went on for hours. And hours. And hours. Till eventually they needed to stop. They came upon this rocky cliff and decided to sit there, and rest for a short while.

"I cant fucking beilive this, i thought we were safe from all of that shit." Chloe said, sitting down next to belle.

"I really dont know why."

Belle sat there and thought, letting her mind wonder on what just happened and what could have possibly happened. Their parents could have fended them off, saved the day, and be on their way here right now. But, on the oppsite side, what if they lost. What if they were taken in. Or worse, what if they were de-

"What's that." Chloe said, breaking her thought trail.

Clhoe was pointing at the rock, and after an embarrsing amount of seconds, Belle found it. It was

"A button."

Chloe got up at the mention of anything clickable, and walked towards it. Belle knew what was about to happen.

"Uh, maybe dont press the mys-"

Too late.

All of a sudden, a part of the wall started opening and Belle got up in response. She turned to see a giant hole being made into a cavern. A lit cavern.

"Holy shit." Chloe said, stunned.

"Sho- should we really go in there?" Belle said, clearly scared if whats inside.

"Oh come on, stop being a pussy. After all, our lives could be ruined, why not risk it"

Chloe took a soild pace towards the entrace, Belle scrambling to catch up, not wanting to be left behind. When they got inside, the doors shut alot faster then it could open. But before they could even blink, they heard a voice.

"Dad, is that you?"

#dream smp #fanfic #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #tubbolive #dreamwastaken #jschlatt #fundylive #quackity #georgenotfound #sapnap #technoblade

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vacuousauto · 4 years

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📃🎥🏳‍🌈

tysm for tha ask molli!! ill talk abt kny here bc its takin over my life rn qwq

spoilers ahead 4 tha whole series!!

📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?

kny is a manga w an anime adaptation thats had 1 season so far n a movies bein made of my fav arc!! (also this plot desc may not b perfect bc i havent read it in like 4 months)

its abt a boy called tanjirou whos whole family got killed by a demon, n his sister nezuko got turned into a demon (which fun fact: in kimetsu theyre man-eatin creatures w different powers called blood demon arts!!)

hes sent by giyuu (a demon slayer!) 2 join tha demon slayer corps so hell become stronger n mayb get a little revenge. as a treat (and also mayb find a way 2 turn nezuko human?)

as he trains he learns how 2 do water breathing (a sword technique taught by him n giyuus mentor, urokodaki) n his final challenge is 2 cut a massive boulder in half w his sword

its real hard 4 him (as u can imagine) so 2 kids in fox masks named sabito n makomo come n help him, but after tanjirou cuts tha rock n tells urokodaki abt him its revealed theyre dead???

@ final selection (basically a demon slayer entrance exam where u win by surviving on a demon-infested mountain 4 seven days) he learns from a real fucked up demon that hes exclusively been targetin urokodakis students n that not even sabito could slice its neck open?? (thats how him n makomo died)

after tanjirou kills tha demon n basically puts all tha water breath students’ souls @ peace he passes tha exam!! its been 7 days n now he gets his nichirin blade (the only kinda sword that can kill a demon, tha only 2 ways they can die is thru a slice 2 tha neck from a nichirin blade n sunlight)

turns out nezuko was turned by the strongest demon of all, michael jackson muzan kibutsuji, n so he sets out 2 hunt him down n try 2 kill him

but he aint so strong @ first so he needs 2 try 2 take down tha twelve kizuki first (the 12 strongest demons besides muzan)

another reason he needs 2 kill tha kizuki is 2 gather their blood for a demon named tamayo n her assistant yushirou!! tamayo can make a cure if tanjirou can gather blood samples 4 her (the stronger tha demon tha more of muzans blood they have so hes gonna have 2 aim high)

he meets a bunch more slayers along tha way, includin zenitsu (a scaredy cat thunder breath user who basically simps 4 nezuko n becomes a badass when hes asleep) n inosuke (a rowdy beast breath user who wears a boar mask n lived in tha mountains)

after lower moon 5 gets killed by giyuu, nezuko unlocks her blood demon art (exploding blood!) n tanjirou remembers how 2 use tha hinokami kagura, him n nezuko get captured by a slayer called shinobu qwq

turns out she n giyuu are 2 of the nine hashira, the strongest of all tha demon slayers!! but theyre all havin a debate over whether they should kill tanjirou n nezuko 4 goin against corps rules n travelin w a demon

eventually oyakata-sama (tha leader of tha slayer corps) comes in n tells em its ok, urokodaki sent a letter explainin that nezukos never hurt anyone n if she does, tanjirou giyuu n urokodaki all have 2 die basically

oyakata-sama also tells em that tanjirous met kibutsuji, at which everyone goes feral at (and understandably, none of em had ever even seen him before hes that elusive)

so they get 2 live bc theyre like. tha best hope the slayers have @ findin kibutsuji

the rest of the hashira are kyoujurou (flame), muichirou (mist), mitsuri (love), obanai (serpent), gyoumei (stone), tengen (sound) n sanemi (wind)

theres also kanao (shinobus pupil, flower breathing) n genya (sanemis brother, eats demons 2 gain power n basically become a demon temporarily, also He Has A Gun)

ive gone on a lot here so ill try 2 keep it brief now but i HAVE 2 explain infinity train or ill die (slight suicide tw but no one actually does that outside of dreams)

BASICALLY the lower 6 moons have a meetin @ kibutsujis infinity castle, muzan decides 2 dismantle tha lower moons bc they keep fuckign dying

all of em get their shit wrecked except enmu, who avoided death by usin muzans “dont tell me what 2 do” rule against him n beggin 4 death basically

so he gets a metric fuckton o blood n goes off 2 kill tanjirou

turns out he keeps killin people on his train n kyos gone 2 investigate!! the main gang (the kamaboko gang as the fandom calls it) are there too bc tanjirou needs 2 investigate what hinokami kagura really is (turns out its sun breathing, the og form and ones that only folks w the same mark on his forehead can use) n if anyone knows abt the alleged “fire breathing” as they know it rn its the fire hashira!!

so they get on tha train (inosukes lovin tha experience bc hes Literally Never Seen A Train Before) n kyo basically adopts the whole group

they take some tickets n promptly fall asleep HERES WHERE ENMUS DEMON ART COMES INTO PLAY!!! DREAM MANIPULATION BABEYYY

BASICALLY he can make people fall asleep in a buncha ways (the mouths on his hands, his weird eye thingies, the tickets) n once thats happened he n his henchmen can access said dreams (he can even control em!!) n if they find tha “spiritual core” they can destroy it n essentially leave em as an empty shell thatll never wake up!! yaaaaaay /s

he fails bc tanjirou realises a way out n its by cuttin his own head off in his dream, eventually everyones awake again n tanjirou finds enmu on tha roof(?) of tha train

after a while he does manage 2 decapitate him but surprise!!! hes not dead

turns out he literally FUSED WITH THA TRAIN n is plannin on eatin everyone inside, includin kyo n the gang

but he doesnt bc Main Protags Cant Die(tm) n dies while complainin that he wants a redo (sorry enmu, ily but u cant turn back time unless ur yoshikage kira)

also sidenote enmus tha only kizuki w/o a canon backstory as far as i can remember and????? H??

ANYWHO after that whole debacle basketball akaza (UPPER moon 3) shows himself!!! FUCK

n after all that struggle against the 8th strongest demon of all time now they gotta deal w tha 4th strongest????? damn,

so yeah it goes how youd imagine, its a tough fuckin battle n its Not Fun but it turns out kyoujurou fucking dies n i genuinely didnt realise until he said “kamado my boy, lets have one final chat” bc i was so in denial n lets face it i still am now

long story short idk how im gonna manage 2 get thru the movie w/o breakin down @ the end

anyway after that horrible horrible time tanjirou goes n meets senjurou, kyos little bro, who gives him kyos sword guard thing (its shaped like a flame!!) n i havent read it in a while so i cant FULLY remember but i think this is where he learns abt sun breathing??

after that they end up goin on a mission in tha red light district w tengen, his 3 wives are there 2 serve as spies (theyre kunoichi, which i think are ninjas of some kind??) n the boys have 2 find em

they do manage 2 find em but not after runnin into upper moon 6, who are 2 twins called daki n gyuutarou

after that fight tengen has 2 retire bc he got fucked up p bad from that fight n he wants 2 make sure tha girls are ok above all

so after that arc tanjirou n nezuko go down 2 tha swordsmith village (bc the guy who usually makes his swords is fuckin tired of repairin it) n run into mitsuri!! she tells tan that theres smth in tha forest thatll make him stronger

ngl this is tha arc i remember tha least abt so this desc is prolly SO inaccurate despite havin 2 o my favs in it)

but muichirou shows himself too n hes mean 2 tanjirou >:/ (he does get nicer eventually but 2 him specifically)

a 10 y/o kid named kotetsu shows tan this 6 armed trainin robot called yoriichi type 0 (based on tha first slayer 2 use sun breathin) n tanjirou breaks it by accident qwq

but he keeps trainin thanks 2 kotetsu but tha kids a harsh fuckin trainer ill tell u that

anyway so we have a whole buncha demons 2 deal w here except most of em are 1 demon split into different parts

hantengu n gyokko, upper moons 4 n 5 respectively!! mui deals w gyokko while mitsuri genya nezuko n tanjirou deal w hantengu

in these fights mitsuri n mui get their demon slayer marks!! these are marks that they get when they surpass the limits of tha human body n they look like tha marks demons have (muis looks like clouds on his cheeks n mitsuris is 2 hearts on her collarbone)

next up is tha hashira trainin arc!! everyone gets trained by each of tha hashira 2 try n unlock their slayer marks

each have a dif trainin style that focuses on dif stuff (for example gyoumei focuses a lot on physical strength n stuff like that, obanai is more abt accuracy) n this is where giyuus backstory gets revealed bc he doesnt think hes worthy o bein a hashira :((

basically him n sabito were absolute besties!! they both trained together n sabito basically told him not 2 die ever

but it all goes wrong @ final selection- sabito manages 2 take down every demon on tha mountain but one of em, that bein the hand demon that exclusively targets water breathers (theyre easy 2 distinguish bc of their blue haoris n custom made fox masks)

he manages 2 save giyuu n everyone else from tha selection except 4 himself (this is why giyuus haori is like that- its made from his sister n sabitos haoris)

giyuu blames himself 4 both of their deaths bc he failed 2 protect em n says that he doesnt deserve 2 have passed tha selection let alone b a hashira,, but tanjirou convinces him otherwise!! ^^

then one day while giyuus trainin w sanemi disaster hits- oyakata-sama, his wife n two of their kids just died

the 2nd to last arc- the infinity castle!! thingsre gettin real n muzans revealed himself

in tha infinity castle EVERYONES there but can u really blame em theyve been workin up 2 this 4 millenia

shinobu runs into upper moon 2- douma, aka the bastard that killed her sister as well as inosukes mum

she is. justifiably pissed. n she gives it her all but he kills her :(( douma ily but also FUCK YOU.

so perfect timing!!! heres her adopted sister!! as well as inosuke!!!! revenge battle time >:0

in the end shinobus poison is what kills him- her whole body is filled w wisteria poison thats deadly 2 a demon so he basically consumed her whole body weight in poison rip

but ofc word gets out via messenger crow that shes dead n its just a real sad moment tbh :( but theres no time 4 that bc giyuu n tanjirou just ran into akaza >:((

so tanjirous pissed as hell now n w their combined efforts they take down tha basketball lookin bastard (bastardball??)

meanwhile obanai n mitsuri (n yushirou iirc?? he uses his own art 2 control her @ some point tho i cant remember when) deal w tha new upper moon 4 (nakime, whos also shiftin tha rooms around w her blood art n makin tha fight super fuckign annoyin tbh) n muichirou genya sanemi n gyoumei deal w kokushibou (upper moon 1, also tha original sun breathers twin brother so he gets moon breathin >:3)

mitsuri n obanai fake their deaths w help from yushirou n muzan falls 4 it, which comes in handy later ;3

zenitsu also deals w his former bully, upper moon 6 aka kaigaku aka dickhead supreme who if zenitsu didnt kill i would personally kill w my bare hands

so after everyones taken down all thats left is muzan >:( muzan kills tamayo real early on n everyones goin all out on him

we also learn that he has multiple brains n hearts in his body eww

also the hashira have their marks now!! but all but sanemi n giyuu get killed n giyuu loses his arm :((((

genya also gets killed noo

eventually ofc the battle is won thanks 2 everyones relief, it took for fuckin ever bc the only way muzan can die is tha sun so they had 2 kill time n keep him out in tha sun 4 a long time

also nezukos been cured!! shes a human!! n shes comin 2 help!!

but OH GOD OH FUCK MUZAN TURNED TANJIROU INTO A DEMON N GIYUUS CRYIN N INOSUKES CRYIN THRU HIS MASK N ITS GOIN SO FUCKING WRONG but he gets tha will 2 turn back bc Fuck You Muzan, The Power Of Friendship Defeats All

the 2nd to last chapter is tha happy endin, the kamaboko gang visit tanjirou n nezukos house, giyuu cuts his hair n SMILES n tha hashira have their final meetin w oyakata-samas son kiriya

i cried readin it ngl their sufferin is finally over...... it cost a lot but now theres no more demons,,,

chapter 205 is set in tha modern day! kanao n tanjirous descendants are shown, as well as zenitsu n nezukos

everyone who died/never had kids get reincarnated (for example gyoumei is now a daycare worker, kyos reincarnation toujurou is besties w one o tans descendants n giyuu (giichi) is friends w sabito again!! makomos their friend too!!

ALSO KIRIYA IS STILL ALIVE hes the oldest man in japan!! this is huge bc the ubayashiki family dont usually live past 30 bc of a curse that was put on em when they had muzan

yushirou is still alive too but thats bc hes a demon n he paints tamayo for a living qwq

it just made me cry so hard bc waaah,,, everyone gets 2 live a demon-free life now,,, anyway typin this took me like an hour im sorry mint (as well as anyone else who read this)

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

tha infinity train arc as a whole tbh??? its basically enmu n kyoujurous big moment and. i care them sm. i cant wait 4 tha movie qwq except 4 their deaths ofc

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

i have a lotta headcanons really!! outta my f/os favs tho i hc:

giyuu is trans bi n autistic

kyo is gay n has adhd

muichirou is nb n pan

mitsuri is pan

douma is gay

enmu is nb pan n autistic

#long post #ask 2 tag #death tw #asks #vacuous answers #menherapiers #vacuous rambles #kny

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palmettoes · 6 years

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hi babe so have you ever considered neil and matt sharing an apartment? maybe they're on the same team or close enough to share one, and it's absolutely amazing because these boys love and support each other so much. but then.. they're also both absolute children when left alone together and the foxes get updates of whatever the most recent thing is with one completely ridiculous picture that never gets explained (like the Sofa Incident). basically love and fun and the brothers they never got!!

(em you already Know how much i love this prompt but like ,, in case you needed a reminder i LOVE this prompt im still crying thANK U anyway this took probably too long but i highkey poured my heart into this dumb little fic i hope u love it ur such an angel ily !!!)

read it on ao3! | prompts are closed :(

◊

Months from now, Neil will be grateful for this lifeline.It’s the offering of comfort and stability he needs long before he knows he’sallowed to want it, and Matt is holding it out to him without a second ofhesitation. Months from now, Neil will appreciate it for what it is. But fornow it feels bigger than he deserves.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” he says, placing a neatly foldedshirt on top of the growing pile beside his suitcase and turning to look atMatt. “I can look after myself.”

Matt, to his credit, doesn’t roll his eyes but Neil watchesthe corners twitch and he knows it’s a near thing.

“I know you can. I’m not asking to be your babysitter. I’masking to be your roommate.”

“Why?”

Neil can’t help it. The question is itching under his skin,making him shifty and uncomfortable. He doesn’t understand Matt’s motives: hespent three years living in close quarters with Neil and half of the last twopractically glued to Neil’s couch at any given opportunity. Why he is willinglysigning up for another year of it, Neil cannot fathom.

“We’re playing for the same team. It just makes sense,” Mattsays and he makes it sound like it really does. Neil frowns and purses his lipsand can’t think of any good reason to dispute it.

“You don’t share an apartment with any of your otherteammates.”

Matt does roll his eyes this time, but it’s a gesturefilled with fondness and, for reasons Neil can’t explain, the rest of hiscomplaints stick in his throat.

“None of my other teammates are my best friend.”

◊

It’s surprisingly easy, Neil thinks, to fall into theroutine of living with Matt. The apartment is already full of Matt’sbelongings, from his two year head start, but bits and pieces of Neil slip intothe cracks—his running shoes by the door, two mugs by the coffee pot eachmorning, Andrew’s hoodie on the back of the couch. It becomes theirs intrinsicallyuntil the discomfiture ebbs away and the word home seeps through.

When Neil wakes up in his new apartment for the first time,the morning feels stretched and torpid. The absence of weight in the bed besidehim is a hollow ache in his chest, and he gets up just to avoid the immensityof it. The world is drowsy outside his window, dark and slow as it blinksitself back to life, but their apartment is already alight with the smell ofcoffee and the muffled sound of socked footsteps.

Neil finds Matt in the kitchen, one hand pouring milk into amug of coffee, the other stirring porridge on the stove. Matt looks up at hisarrival and grins, all teeth and dimples. He sets down the milk carton andhooks his fingers around the handle of the other mug, holding it out to Neil.

“Morning, princess,” he says. Neil wraps his stiff fingersaround the mug, letting the warmth seep through to his bones and wake himproperly.

“Your porridge is done,” he observes, because he can see itthickening around Matt’s spoon as he steps past. Matt yelps and flicks off thegas, transferring the pot to a cool hob and reaching for a bowl in the samemovement.

“There’s enough for two,” he says as he scrapes the gloopymixture into his bowl. Neil stands on his toes to open one of the cupboards andgrab a granola bar from the second shelf.

“I’m good, thanks.”

Neil holds the half-opened granola bar up in defence whenMatt shoots him the look he reserves for disapproval at Neil’s tendency to skipmeals. He doesn’t comment but the tilt of his mouth is displeased. Neil shrugsit off and sips his coffee.

“Excited to meet the team later?” Matt asks as he runs hotwater into the empty pot to soak. Neil waits until the gurgle of the tap shutsoff to reply.

“Not really. I don’t care what they’re like. It’s how theyplay that matters.”

Matt turns to lean against the kitchen bench, bowl in hand,and rolls his eyes fondly—something of a recurring action around Neil.

“Now you sound like Kevin.”

“Kevin sounds like me,” Neil corrects, just to be contrary.

Matt grins around a mouthful of porridge. “You’re both asbad as each other. Come on, you can have first shower. I want to show you thebest route to the supermarket before we’re due at the stadium.”

◊

The team, as it turns out, arefar more excited to meet Neil than he is to meet them. There are three new teammembers, including him; one other first year pro and a transfer from Denver,but Neil inadvertently steals most of the attention. It’s some mixture of hismemorable face gracing television far more than any college student has a rightto, and Matt singing his praises over the past two years, that gives him adegree of interest the Cannons gravitate towards. All Neil really wants to dois talk to the Denver recruit about a certain goalkeeper on his old team, butMatt squeezes his shoulder lightly and it is as much a warning as it is acomfort. Play nice.

Neil smiles and lets KatiLaskey—starting striker—hook her elbow around his neck and rub her other handlightly through his hair. If he closed his eyes, her weight against his bodywould almost feel like Dan. The thought is both reassuring and saddening, likea weight constricting his chest not quite enough to leave him breathless, butspiking discomfort through his ribcage all the same. He finds he cannot makeeye contact with any of his new teammates.

“They’re not Foxes,” he says,when Matt prompts him for an opinion as they ease into traffic on their wayhome. Matt hums assent because it’s true, they are not and never will be theshape of puzzle pieces cut from the same jigsaw. They are Cannons, equal partschaos and content, and they have dug a Neil-sized hole in their line-up, but itis a manufactured kind of welcoming, a family born of necessity rather thandesire.

“They’re good people,” Matt saysand Neil cannot find fault to disagree.

“They’re good as teammates,” hesays instead. Matt flicks him a look under the guise of checking his blind spotbefore signalling the turn-off. They turn down the side street connected totheir apartment complex and Neil traces the vaguely familiar shapes outside thewindow with his finger.

It is still warm yet, the airhumid and muggy with the weight of summer. He can see heat hanging heavy overthe pavement and pooling in pockets between the clouds. He hates days likethese, but this one feels less like a burden and more like a blanket, swathinghim in the absence of body heat. Not ideal, but somehow enough all the same.

“They’re good as teammates, but Ialready have all the family I need.”

When Matt looks at him this time,it is with blatant intent and his smile is blinding.

◊

mattyb: someone come collect neil he’s making me sad

gaynolds: what did he tell you this time??

mattyb: a story about his mom

gaynolds: fuck those are the worst

wildz: u all g josten?

jos10: I’m fine.

gaynolds: :/

mattyb: he let me pat his head

wildz: 4 his comfort or urs ???

mattyb: honestly mine but i like to think it’shelping him too

jos10: It’s nice. Thank you.

nickyminaj: omg neil :( u cant be sad when im too faraway to hug u

jos10: I’m not sad.

jos10: Matt is.

mattyb: I AM

nickyminaj: mattie no :(

nickyminaj: coming to hug u both rn

wildz: me 2

gaynolds: me three

wildz: group hug @ the b/j apt.

nickyminaj: the WHAT

wildz: boyd/josten but im just rlzing how bad thtsounds

mattyb: H

mattyb: NNNN OFJAJKM.VWQ3JFJEZ/.DS’’;XMLD

nickyminaj: uh

wildz: r u dyin ???

mattyb: might have to take a raincheck on the grouphug

mattyb: OH HOLY FUCK

wildz: ?????

gaynolds: omg

mattyb: NEIL JUST

mattyb: CHRIST

nickyminaj: what did he do now lmfao

gaynolds: b/j apartment is my favourite soap

nickyminaj: ^^^

wildz: r they actually ded ????

gaynolds: matt??

nickyminaj: 50 bucks says neil started a fire tryingto make dinner

gaynolds: you’re on

gaynolds: josten knows how to cook

nickyminaj: lmaooo

nickyminaj: u didn’t see him try to use the sandwichpress at the columbia house

nickyminaj: andrew banished him from the kitchen

gaynolds: fuck

wildz: can confirm, neil knos how 2 cook but nt how 2use tech

kevinday: What’s happening?

mattyb: [image attached]

kevinday: What the fuck.

gaynolds: what the fuck

nickyminaj: WHAT THE FUCK

wildz: wht hppnd???

nickyminaj: UR COUCH IM CRYING

kevinday: How did that happen?

gaynolds: is neil BLEEDING

nickyminaj: holy fuck yeah his face

wildz: shit

kevinday: Is that a bird?

gaynolds: IS THAT A BIRD

nickyminaj: oh my god

wildz: matt wtf is goin on?

jos10: We’re fine. Matt had to sit down because hewas laughing too much.

wildz: neil ????

nickyminaj: EXPLAIN

jos10: I have to go. It’s fine.

gaynolds: josten you’re bleeding out of your face andthere is a pigeon on your head

kevinday: Neil

nickyminaj: oh my god

nickyminaj: we’re pretending this is normal oh my god

aaminyard: what is going on?

aaminyard: oh that couch is in shreds lol

nickyminaj: AARON PLS

wildz: called matt but it went str8 2 vmail

gaynolds: the bird probably fucking murdered them

aaminyard: finally

nickyminaj: aaron pls

wildz: aaron pls

gaynolds: aaron pls

aminyard: aaron no

◊

(The bird is collected by an ABC volunteer.

They buy a new couch.)

◊

Integrating himself into an already functioning team is botheasier and harder than knitting together the torn edges of the Foxes. TheCannons are professionals—polite because they are paid to be and serious whereexy is concerned—but they are friends off the court as well. Three months intotheir season, Neil has grown used to one or another of their teammates crashingon the couch in his and Matt’s apartment, or showing up unannounced withtakeout on their days off. Kati takes him out for coffee twice a week at asugar-free café two blocks from his apartment (which Neil delights in tellingAndrew about) and fills him in on the details of her personal life. (Her longdistance girlfriend just moved over from Missouri. They’re adopting cats.) Inreturn, Neil shows her the latest picture Andrew has texted him (the curl ofsmoke against a city skyline, or the glint of a blade under sunlight, or theopen freeway above the Maserati dashboard). Neil is never very sure, but hethinks this makes them friends.

Somewhere along the way, the team become less likecolleagues and more like something personal, something that spreads like warmbutter inside Neil’s chest. He knows parts of their lives that go deeper thannecessity for survival, while they learn where he likes to go to eat and what hiscollege major was. He lets them scavenge through his life for the titbits thatshould not matter yet somehow do, but saves the intimate details to sharebetween Matt and Kati. It’s not that he and Andrew are a secret, but Neil isprivate by nature and the Cannons, for all their friendship, are still notfamily.

They seem content to take what they’re given and pry nofurther, so Neil isn’t concerned when their captain, Breanna Ramírez, asks himto spare a minute after practice. He detours past Matt on his way off the courtto let him know he’ll make his own way home. Matt swings an arm around Neil’sshoulders and leans down to knock their heads together.

“Nice work today, honey,” he says and lets go, waving asNeil heads to the locker room.

Breanna takes him to a patisserie ten minutes from thestadium where, she tells him, they sell petits fours that her husbandthinks are to-die-for. Neil texts a picture of the display cabinet followed bya question mark to Andrew while he waits for Breanna to order. They get theircoffees to-go and Breanna’s husband’s petits fours in a small paper bag,and walk the short distance to a nearby park.

They talk about the season, about the flaws in the startingline-up, and about the kids Breanna and her husband are currently fostering.Neil wants to tell her he and Matt almost adopted an injured bird that they letfly into their apartment, but decides she might not take it in her stride aseasily as the Foxes.

Instead he says, “Maybe I’ll stop by the patisserie again onthe way home. Matt loves pain au chocolat.”

Breanna looks at him, looks away, sighs, looks at him again.

“Josten.” She fiddles with the lid of her coffee cup. “Neil.I didn’t want to say anything, but I feel, I don’t know, morally obligated.”

Neil’s pulse jumps in his wrist and he blinks at Breanna,confused and apprehensive.

“Morally obligated to what?”

“Look, you and Boyd are both lovely and I know it isn’treally my business, but the team has been talking and— Well, I’m not trying topreach to you, but sometimes his fiancée comes to visit and I just want to beclear that none of us are comfortable covering for you. If it comes to that.”

She’s doing everything to avoid his gaze now and Neil hasnever seen her so unsure of herself. He frowns, turning her words over in hishead but no matter which way he pushes and pulls he can’t make sense of them.

“What does Dan have to do with this?”

“You know, because of your… thing with Boyd.”

“My—” Neil stares at her as the pieces click into place,forming a complete picture, albeit one that makes Neil’s head ache. “You thinkI’m having an affair with Matt?”

“You’re not?” Breanna finally makes eye contact, head tiltedand eyebrows knit. Neil almost laughs but something about the set of her jawstops him.

“What makes you think we’re having an affair?”

“You’re very affectionate,” she says, shrugging. “We’venoticed things.”

“He’s my best friend.” Neil’s tongue feels numb in his mouth.His words come slowly, as though his brain is still catching up to theconversation. “We’re just like that.”

“You’re close.”

“Yeah. He’s my best friend,” Neil says again, like she mighthave missed it the first time. Breanna bites her lip and glances down at whereher fingers have twisted in the paper bag.

“There’s really nothing going on there, is there?” she asksin a small voice, and Neil’s patience slips a little.

“He wouldn’t do that to Dan. I wouldn’t do that toDan.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Didn’t mean to what? Imply that we’re both cheatingassholes? Yes, you did, otherwise you wouldn’t have said anything.”

He knows his temper is sparking, knows he should put a lidon it, but his mouth is running faster than he can catch it. He doesn’tunderstand how she can’t see that they’re the two least likely people to beunfaithful to their partners, or why she thinks it’s any of her concern anyway.

“But you can see how it seemed like that, right? I mean, hecalls you pet names all the time. You buy him pastries for no reason. Lastweek, he kissed you at practice.”

“On the forehead,” Neil feels the need to remind her. “Becausewe’re friends. Do you need a rundown of every interaction we’ve ever had toprove that? How about a timeline of the development of our friendship?”

“This really isn’t any of my business,” Breanna says andNeil’s mouth twists in scorn.

“You’re right, it isn’t. I should go. I still want to get tothe patisserie before it closes.” He stands up, forcibly releasing the tensionin his fists, and tells himself to walk away. “See you at practice tomorrow.”

“Neil, I’m sorry,” she starts to say but he waves her off.He only makes it three steps before he decides he’s not finished. He pivots onthe spot, clenches his fists, and inhales sharply.

“For the record, I have a boyfriend and we’re very happy,”he says and watches Breanna’s face go slack, her mouth opening on words thatdon’t come out. It takes her three tries to find them.

“You never said.”

“It was never any of your business.”

She bows her head little, then looks up to meet his eyes,her cheek dimpled where it’s caught between her teeth. Neil shrugs.

“Just so you know. He’s the only one I’m interested in.”

Breanna nods and looks like she wants to say something else,but she doesn’t protest when Neil turns again to walk away. He has a funnyfeeling the patisserie doesn’t open late and he really doesn’t want to missthem.

◊

“The team think we’re having an affair,” he tells Mattlater, perched on the kitchen workbench to the left of the stove. Matt iscooking pasta sauce in a large pot, which means he’s making enough to freezethe leftovers because he knows Neil will happily go hungry if it means hedoesn’t have to cook on days when he can’t find the energy.

“Our team?” Matt asks incredulously. Neil nods,absentmindedly popping the seal on a half-empty jar of olives.

“Ramírez told me it’s been team gossip for weeks.”

Matt laughs, reaching around Neil to lift another pot downfrom the shelf above his head. He puts it on one of the empty hobs and returnsto stirring his sauce, so Neil leans over to flick the switch on the kettle. Hesettles back into his earlier position and searches Matt’s face, but all hefinds are traces of amusement. It calms him a little, his temper over Breanna’saccusations dissipating.

“Fifty bucks says Pav started it,” Matt says, grinning.Aleksei Pavlov is one of their starting backliners and notorious for hisoutlandish but widely believed rumours. He and Matt have a friendly rivalrythat involves playful nicknames and good-natured trash talking at every turn.

“I don’t bet,” Neil reminds Matt unnecessarily. The kettlepings as the water reaches boiling point and he lifts it over to pour into theempty pot on the stovetop. “Allison would have a field day with this though.”

“Oh God, let’s not tell her. If she finds out, Dan findsout, and I’ll be trying to live it down until I’m old and grey,” Matt laughs.Neil hands him a pair of scissors to cut open the bag of pasta in his hand, andreplaces the now empty kettle on its outlet.

“She wouldn’t be mad?”

“Hardly. She’d think it was hilarious.” Matt pours pastainto the pot and flicks the gas on, before giving Neil a curious look. “WouldAndrew be mad?”

Neil hums, returning to pressing the lid of the olive jarand letting it pop back into place. He doesn’t know what Andrew wouldthink—they’ve never had cause to discuss it before—but he can count on one handthe amount of times Andrew has shown interest in things that don’t directlyconcern him.

“I don’t think he’d care.”

“What, he hears his boyfriend is off gallivanting with hishot roommate halfway across the country and he doesn’t even want to check up?”

“He knows we’re not. Andrew doesn’t care for rumours,” Neilsays, shrugging. Thinking of Andrew’s signature apathy dispels the remainder ofhis anger and he finds that he doesn’t care for the rumour either. Andrew’svoice in his head asks why he cares what other people think and Neil can’t finda reason.

“That’s true enough,” Matt agrees. He twists off the heatunder the sauce and gestures at Neil. “Pass me those olives, would you, mylove?”

Neil snorts, releases the seal on the jar, and hands itover. “This is why people think we’re having an affair.”

“Maybe we are.”

Matt’s tongue dips out to lick the corner of his smile andNeil rolls his eyes.

“If I was going to cheat, I think I could at least do betterthan you.”

Neil earns himself an olive pitted straight at his foreheadfor that one. He catches its rebound in his hand and pops it into his mouth,rubbing the stain off his skin and kicking half-heartedly in Matt’s direction.Matt takes an exaggerated step out of the way and returns to slicing olives andsprinkling them into the sauce.

“Do you really want to be insulting me when the fate of yourdinner rests in my hands?” Matt asks. Neil leans over to steal another olive.

“I’ll tell Kevin you’re intentionally depriving me of abalanced diet.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I have him on speed dial,” Neil says, slipping his phoneout of his pocket and holding it up for emphasis. He pushes off the counterwith his hands, landing softly on the linoleum floor and using the momentum toslide on socked feet to the other side of the kitchen. He bends to take twobowls from the cupboard and leans over to the cutlery drawer as he hears Mattchecking on the pasta behind him.

“Hey, sweetheart?”

Neil turns to find Matt beckoning to him, a strand ofspaghetti dangling from his fingers. He steps over and holds out his hand whenprompted by Matt’s grabby motions. Matt loops the spaghetti around his ringfinger, twisting and squeezing the ends until they mush together, effectivelytying the pasta to Neil’s finger.

“Give the team something to talk about, hey,” he says,exaggerating the wink that accompanies it. Neil turns his hand around and holdsup his middle finger in response. Matt laughs and the sound is white horsesbreaking over Neil’s head. He lets himself be pulled under.

◊

mattyb: [image attached]

mattyb: he said yes!

wildz: what

gaynolds: what

renesbian: what

nickyminaj: what

aminyard: what.

nickyminaj: omg

◊

Andrew calls him two hours later while Matt is making hotchocolate and Neil is flicking through sports channels with the TV on mute.

“I let you do one thing on your own and you get engaged toBoyd,” he says by way of hello. Neil smiles, tipping his head against the backof the couch and tapping the remote against his thigh.

“Jealous, are we?”

Andrew huffs, just barely but Neil catches it. He bites downon a laugh and lets his eyes slip closed.

“I thought you at least had better taste than that.”

“I chose you, didn’t I?” Neil says. Warm honey oozes downhis spine and he melts into the cracks between the couch cushions, the wholeworld slipping away and zeroing in on the static crackling down the phone line.Andrew’s voice is sturdy and smooth, garbled by the distance but stillunmistakeably his. Neil relaxes into it.

“Is that an affirmation of your good taste or further proofof your idiocy?”

Neil hums around a grin but doesn’t reply. He knows Andrewknows what he means, even though neither of them will acknowledge it. Theylapse into steady silence, soft breaths and fleeting movements between them.Neil can hear the buzz of traffic from Andrew’s end and assumes he’s on thebalcony of his high-rise apartment, overlooking the bustling street. Neilremembers the city lights and cool breeze from his last visit, the smell ofsmoke and petrol mixing in the air, the way the railing felt digging into hisback when Andrew kissed him up against it. He lets out a half-sigh, abortedbefore Andrew can make anything of it, and swallows the whiskey-flavouredmemory.

“My team knows about you,” he says, just to have somethingto say. It’s a lot like that with Andrew now—they no longer deal in weightedtruths and bleeding secrets. Neil finds that he doesn’t mind half as much as hethought he would, back when he used to worry they would run out of things tosay one day. Sometimes they have conversations without substance; after all,Andrew has always been good at making something out of nothing.

“I would hope so. They’ve played me twice,” Andrew says onan exhale. With his eyes pressed shut and his lips parted on a breath, Neil canalmost taste the smoke leaking from Andrew’s mouth.

“Funny,” he deadpans. Neither of them laugh. “I mean aboutus.”

He half expects Andrew to be difficult for the sake of it,but Andrew has long since stopped denying they are two parts of the same whole.He fiddles with his cigarette instead; Neil can hear his fingers tap away theash.

“Is that a problem?” he asks and Neil hears the part hedoesn’t say, the I don’t mind if you don’t, the this was never secretto anyone who was looking.

“No.”

“Okay.”

Neil breathes. Andrew smokes. The silence fills spacesbetween them.

Neil cracks an eye open when Matt taps him on the shoulder,holding out a steaming mug. From the smell, it’s a fruity blend from the packof herbal teas Kati had given him as thanks for helping out with hergirlfriend’s move. The mug is hot beneath his fingers so he balances it on hisknee while he resituates his grip to the handle, and raises it to his lips.

Andrew? Matt mouths as he settles onto the other sideof the couch, his own mug of hot chocolate warming his palms. Neil nods,nestling the phone between his ear and his shoulder so he can tap the ringfinger of his opposite hand, an explanation of Andrew’s call. Matt grins aroundthe lip of his mug before taking a sip.

“Tell him if he likes it then he should have put a ring onit.”

Neil frowns, glances down at his hand, and then back up atMatt. He mouths what in return but Matt just flaps his hand at thephone.

“Matt says,” Neil looks at him again and Matt gives him athumbs up, “if you like it then you should have put a ring on it?”

There’s a shuffling sound as Andrew shifts around, thesqueak of a screen door sliding open and closed, before the city noises cut offand the silence takes on a new shape.

“Tell Boyd if he likes his tongue he should keep it in hismouth.”

Neil relays the threat and Matt laughs aloud, his hotchocolate sloshing dangerously close to the rim of his mug. Neil watches him inshock—it’s the first time he can remember seeing Matt find genuine humour inanything one of Andrew’s lot have said.

“Did you just make a joke?” he asks Andrew. He’s not surewhich he’s more caught off guard by: that Andrew made a joke or that Matt foundit funny.

“It wasn’t a joke. It was a warning.”

A cupboard door clips shut from Andrew’s end and Neil hearsthe chink of crockery. He makes eye contact with Matt, who raises his eyebrowsand sips his hot chocolate, before shrugging off his surprise.

“I have to make dinner,” Andrew says. It isn’t a dismissalbut Neil can tell by his voice Andrew doesn’t feel like talking.

“Okay,” he agrees, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Andrew grunts, which is an affirmation in its own way, andhangs up without saying goodbye. Neil drops his phone between his thighs forsafekeeping and takes another drink of his tea. Matt nudges Neil’s shin withhis toe, nodding at the TV.

“You watching that?”

There’s a replay of an Exy match from the previous week, butNeil’s already seen it and it isn’t Andrew or Kevin’s team. He hands Matt theremote in lieu of a response and lets his eyes drift shut on the snippets ofsoaps flashing by as Matt switches channels.

◊

gaynolds: it’s been 8 days since our last b/jnonsense

nickyminaj: is that a record?

gaynolds: i think so

wildz: wild

wildz: get it haha

jos10: What’s b/j nonsense?

gaynolds: it’s you honey

aaminyard: aka every time you message this chateveryone has a stroke

nickyminaj: lmfao tru

jos10: Why?

wildz: u n matt r disasters

wildz: always gttin up 2 crzy shit

nickyminaj: u send the most concerning messages andnever elaborate

jos10: No, we don’t?

gaynolds: NO WE DON’T HE SAYS

nickyminaj: remember when matt and neil’s couch gotripped to shreds by a bird

nickyminaj: and they never explained how

gaynolds: remember when matt and neil got married

renesbian: remember when Neil texted the group chat‘cowabunga’ followed by three hashtags

renesbian: then ten seconds later said he rememberedMatt was visiting Dan and not to worry

wildz: rmbr wen m drank 3L of mntn dew at once

wildz: & n sent a pic of him passed out w ac.board cutout of dolly parton

wildz: y do they hav a c.board cutout of dolly parton

jos10: We can’t recycle her without concerning theneighbours.

renesbian: I think the question is why do you haveher in the first place

jos10: Oh.

jos10: We got her from Dollar Tree.

gaynolds: dollar tree sells cardboard cutouts ofdolly parton ???

jos10: I don’t think she was for sale.

nickyminaj: u STOLE dolly parton from dollar tree

aaminyard: you sound surprised

nickyminaj: i mean yeah

nickyminaj: aren’t u ??

aaminyard: no

gaynolds: no

wildz: no

renesbian: no

nickyminaj: good point

jos10: [image attached]

jos10: She lives in the shower.

gaynolds: that is quite literally the most terrifyingcombination of information/image i’ve ever seen

wildz: 1 time i stayed @ b/j apt & she slept inth bed w me n matt

aaminyard: what the fuck

gaynolds: why did we ever let those two live together

nickyminaj: yeah this has gone too far

wildz: m can move in w me if andrew will take n ??

aminyard: deal.

jos10: Who gets Dolly?

aminyard: never mind I don’t want him.

◊

When Neil wakes up in his and Matt’s apartment on what Mattdubs their ‘roommate-iversary’, the morning feels like a wave, hugging the bayit crashes into and guiding Neil’s breaths through the ebb and flow. A yearstretches across the floorboards, worn smooth under their tread, and laps atthe walls, where they’ve taken to sticking photographs and reminders andsmiley-face messages from one to the other. The world is quiet around him, butfor the buzz of the radio and the familiar pattern of footfalls againstlinoleum floor.

Neil finds Matt in the kitchen, two mugs on the worktop anda pancake flipping through the air towards the pan in his outstretched hand.

“Morning, princess,” Matt says, holding up one of the mugswithout turning. Neil loops his fingers through the handle and around theceramic curve, bringing it to his lips to blow the billow of steam away fromthe rim.

“Morning, sunshine,” he says, leaning against the corner ofthe fridge. The way Matt freezes is almost comedic, like each muscle isolatingand tensing one by one. When he looks up, his gigawatt smile is alreadyplastered over his face, bright enough to dissolve the dreary heaviness of themorning, and Neil’s returning grin bites into his cheeks before he can hold itback. Matt returns to his breakfast with crinkles by his eyes. Neil blowslightly on his coffee and takes a sip.

◊

mattyb has changed their name to sunshine.

jos10 has changed their name to princess.

◊

#maz.dox #mdb #naj #andreil #fic #remussloopin #answered

160 notes · View notes

abtoddler · 6 years

Text

A little melancholia for the day

It’s interesting how far we come and sometimes

Its no where near far enough. When i was younger, I couldn’t tolerate my mother. When shes oh hey, im goin to be a bitch for days, then expect me to talk to her. Its already bad enough shes super dismissive or hateful, and then super concerned so she can ear another tick in her caretaker personality.

Which explains why i need a daddy so much. I al thankful to mine, and my big bro champ, the two of them create a world where i dont have to worry about what occurs outside the front door. - a bit of backstory, and the strings of complaints, spoonie comments, support groups and things like that: i have a chronic pain condition with compression and the slow approach to parapalegia while on the medication, the norco and muscle relaxers to help the sensation of walking on nails, and endless buzz, this is a gift from 14 years ago, that keeps taking the feeling and control of my legs & feet. I also have an inflamatory bowel disease, so its like shitting hot lava. This has been occuring more regular then a ladies period, and has been occuring since longer then I can remember.

Growing up, i would throw up while shitting at the same time for hours ans hours. Get up in the middle of the night and just let it go. Ive turned memory of this shit to another thought. Right now its about how much time i have left, 20 years? That wouls make me 54, if i go out then, or even in the next 35 years wouls make me younger then my adoptive parents.

Now heres a funny thing, since my dad doesnt really keep up with me, mostly my fault because i hate talkin on the phone, and cant exactly travel at the moment. The point is, “oh you still have to go through that, i hadnt heard so i assumed it went away”, its not that” oh i assumed you just stopped having a horrible mutiple times a month for my entire life stomach pain, just stops, because nothing is said about it. Or the trying to convey that i just do not have the means to emotionally handle it, and so cant make effort to do stuff that hurts my heart. The same is whether or not my mother means it. But shes always been cunty when shes not put first, or in control. It’s interesting she abused drugs and alcohol when i moved into my own house the first time. Then the abuse from her starts, getting mad, being dismissive, just down right fucking horrible for no good goddamn reason.

This then causes me to have an emotional shut down, this abuseive crap, this shit makes me not want to be around her. She cant “do” being alone, and it makes her really mean. The more mean she gets, the more i have no desire to fuck with that. The endless complaints, rudeness, snide comments, endless streams of just foulness. Thank you to everyone whose not like this, is what i want to say. Thank you to daddy and champ. Those who “choose” us, and so help up the folk like me who have all sorts of shit to deal with. Its nice having an insulation.

I do not want contact with people who are sneaky and will put someone else under a bus, i do not want folks who do not give more then lip service to”bdsm full exchange” and “demands” that put them ahead of what they want to do with my daddy. Theres so much in this life that i wont be able to do. I have less then most folk i wager. Going by the wayside, posting to the empty vaccum where the internet remembers.

I can do this. I can do one day at a time forever, one moment, that is an endless cycle of sleep. And meds, and pains. The reason i can do this. Family. Good people raised me, but im home for the first time with these last 6 months, 50 or 60 years ahead of me is not enough time for my daddy, for my big bro. There is a ton of the world to see.

These are the thoughts, and feelings ive had since loosing my hope on handling something just a bit better. Its been super dark, with looking at end of life affairs, looking into kinds of burials, and assisted suicide. Everything that would mean i miss everything i want with my family. I do not mind a death I choose. I do not mind my final wishes. What i mind; the knowledge of folks with my kinds of stomach shit dont really see much longer to the older age brackets. It scares the piss out of me, that it could just be done, i wont be able to wake up and work on my grimoires, i wont be able to tell my daddy I love him. Anytime i feel it, i have to say it. That way in all the tiny moments of time, and if folks can remember me. He will know i would always love him, thank him, appreciate him. He is the scope of my world. Anything less then forever is an unacceptable amount of time. The thought of leaving him early scares me. Its my greatest worry, that i will never know enough, or see enough of his life to only see it really start.

Its hard, it sucks. So thats why my grimoire projects will not, end. My desire to be little, and safe and cared for, must be followed right back into daddies arms, and the worlds hes helped build. I ve been trying to process this, its taken a few months, in suspected truth, probably it will be always there. But, i try and focus on projects, on the little things that can be done in a day. I cant care about my mother demanding i go and see her. Or her being a bitch when i do, and leaving her with a “see you whenever” i said “what ever” and just walked out of her apartment the other night.

So, while she feels i should be doing what ever she asks depite my lack or to too much sleep according to her. Not the exhaustion i get subjected to after the fire of hell erupts from my asshole, and causes me to throw up anything left in my stomach. Yea, between that 1-4 hour production of “this is your life” in food I attempted to eat earlier. Shes got stupid questions that have no bearing on day to day shit, and now that shes done fucking making threats at me, she can shut up, while I sort out how to handle her ass, while being with wonderful people, for what will be the rest of my life. However long i can make it. Daddy, makes it worth it, i want to see him and champ be their best selves. I can instead only do everything that i am able to set their roads up, even if i wont get the chance to see how it ends.

I cry, at night, most nights pooh bear has earned his keep as the cuddle surrogate to daddy. My barking dragon doesnt bark, it would randomly do it; making it hard to sleep with. I know that this internet void, is a public place where people will know, coo!. But I need to post this, i need to put it into the world while I think about how i am going to master the coming years, and not let shit get between daddy and champ and all our dreams.

So, while i get word vomity, and sad. The horizon has this light of the future, the single moment of now, stretching on to the morning. The linear path of all actions, thoughts, life and the experiences, its easy when in thinking of daddy, that i can just aim to make the most of the moments with him. That they know he is the best man i have ever known, the range of his character. His way of dominance, his love and zest for life. The way he steps one foot a time to get the big picture. I will walk with him til my story ends. But, daddy i love you, and thank you. I loves that we have forever and ever. Its not long enough.

But anyway this isnt something i can stop thinking, so my hope is putting just this stuff here, will get it out, and lets me sleep tonight. I am trying to post more, to have a place to unload my thoughts. Thank you for anyone who reads this, its just hard to identify the situation at hand, so many moving pieces. I will try not to post to much of this philosophic ramble, and depression.

I will figure on how to deal with it but tonight, it did it’s job and has cleared my head, and given me a look at what i feel is going on. Night tumblr. Thank you for this medium.

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obannthepunished · 6 years

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This weeks notes Mostly transcription this week i think, i tried my best for nott’s scene. as usual ignore the asterisks because theyre just notes to myself.

peace

Molly is Nervous (tm) abiut sticking around, or going to the gentleman

theres a fight in the evening nip, beau is fucking excited its thedd (halfling from sewers) and lewis (one of the ones that had run from the research facility)

N: "I got three gold on Thedd" M: Seems a bit late for a wager at this point N: Just you and me! M:.... fair. I'm in.

Thedd wins by standing on lewis' throat til he passes out holy shit M: (drops coins into Nott's hand) N, smug: Thank you :)

oh now Nott and Beau are fighting jesus christ. C: "I cast Haste on Beauregard." Laura: YOU PIECE OF SHIT **

J: Inflict Wounds (17 dmg) ((Fjord, changing his voice: "I GOT 5 GOLD ON THE HORNY ONE)) B: WHAT THE FUCK JESTER, Stunning Strike, (7dmg, jes fails con save (6), she is stunned, extra attack from haste, 6dmg) J: (is stunned for this round, until the end of beaus turn) B: Beaus the shit outta her ( 12dmg, 6dmg) ((MOLLY blinds her)) B: still goin, but misses 2 of em, hits on the third (12dmg) J: (goes down)

caleb: goes for the low five, and Beau just.... ignores him unintentionally bless.

Frumpkin is sent to lick the blood off of jesters face, Beau cleans her up <33

They are called to the gentleman's side

offered a forward of 500gp and a pot of 4500g to travel to Shady Creek Run, the criminals town, and free and bring back Ophelia... something, who corresponds often with the gentleman

the tldr of the second (250 adv, 1750 pot) is that the swamps are dangerous for the gentlemans safehouse which has gone dark.

theyre promised resources for missions from the gentleman

Jester: "IS HE MOIST"(re the gentleman)

they take on both, starting with the swamps. The Gentleman advises they travel the 70 miles above ground.

Fjord is so fuckin smooth talky wtf. they get greater heling potion(s)?? + cure disease? Caleb's gettin some ink + paper, but its not good for spells 8(

Nott keeps making water puns. im counting 4. and a hankie.

Jester wand of smiles Kutha again, poor kutha 8(

Caleb + beau ( + assumedly nott) go to pumat's

have they paid their inn tab??

Cay buys incense for rituals, probably find familiar lbh. he also gets his magical ink+parchment.

Beau is interested in the bracers of defence. Theyre like 1200gp tho arent they??? B: how much PS: 1200 gold B:HOLY SHIT PUMAT. [snip] B: HOLY SHIT PUMAT(S).

C: (tells beau he cast haste) B: YOU SLIP SOMETHIN IN MY DRINK CALEB??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they have 6 horses, 2 pulling, 6 solo. Jes is driving thr cart.

Caleb: (brings up the feywild) Jester: oh the traveller has told me about that!!

Frumpkin is (one of) the first cats yasha has seen 8'O shes fuckin loving it **

lots of fucking soldiers heading to war. hundreds, if not thousands.

night falls as they reach the origin of the. road. they cant find a campground because tal rolled SHIT even with advantage.

Jester + Fjord take first watch. (13. Nothing) Yasha + Beau on second watch. (14. Also Nothing.) B: We should huddle together for warmth??? Y: Fr- Frumpkin is keeping me. very warm. are you cold??? do you want my, my cloak? B: No, no my, my (jacket??? cant remember what she said) is fine, its htin, but its warm Then they talk about Yasha ands this is the furthest shes ever been. Y: "i like this stuff. Grass, and, things. you know." B: You appreciate grass?

B: What was your favourite part of xorhas? Y: I... dont know if i HAD a favourite part

this was the CUTEST shit

third watch is Nott + Molly (10, nothing happens) taliesin trying a jester voice makes me the heart eyes emoji

goblins canonically steal children what THE FUCK. And EAT them. But Nott, apparently, has not eaten a child. "My clan, we STOLE from people. money and clothing and things. And when things got tough, we'd steal the people too." Goblins dont do family. "I do not have an urge to kill and eat children" "i have cravings for... rats... cats-" (Caleb snaps) Frumpkin goes back to the feywild Yasha: =(

taliesin taking watch after rolling shit cmon. he gets 16. Noon, broken cloud cover, a tiny distant curl of smoke. oh not again. its a mile away tho so like

the smoke is coming from a small shack.

"For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird." He doesn't though but its the sentiment.

Yasha gets shoulder frumpkin back!

The shack door opens to "an elderly fullblood orc" with hair and beard and all that shit.

for 1 (one) gp a month, you TOO can bother a whole old man orc. Jesus christ he had a battleaxe. puts it down, invites yasha and molly in. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY Molly buys hide armor + 2lb of meat for 16gp. M: Perception check 10. Matt: "Okay." There is sOMETHING SUS about this.

and theyre off again, i am glad for this. i do not like elderly orc man.

yasha and molly double up on that goof "we totally killed him, three times." its very good

M + Y: What kind of meat is this? (fuck their rolls) its meat! its good meat!

M+Y take first watch, its 12. Nothing happens. Yasha collects some flowers to press awww. N+C Second watch, they roll w advantage lmao. 22. something is going to happen. "you hear the snapping of a twig. you see a shifting of shadow. a few things" Cay casts mage armor

Two arrows for Caleb. con saving throw. probably poison. 10. its poison. he is poisoned. fucks frickin sake. is it gnolls?? is it goblins??? hyenas??? furred barking things. wolves.

two ogres, a cluster of wolves, and goblin-like creatures

initiative order:

Beau: Nat20, 24 Goblins Caleb: 18 Fjord, Molly: 16 Ogres Nott: 15 Yasha, Jester: 6 Wolves

B: Jester, puppies!!

Yasha and Jester shrug off poison of those that hit them.

Caleb casts slow on one ogre. unrelated liam is so good???

oh yeah eldritch blast gets two beams of eldritch blast at lv3

Molly radiants once scimitar and cuts RIGHT through one of em. misses the second.

Caleb hit with a javelin, 4-5 inches into his stomach, holding itself upright. Caleb keeps the spell going.

Nott pretends shes one of them and aims for Caleb, hits the book instead. and nails it.

Jester (traumatised): CALEB!!! cure wounds 2nd level. but he is pretty fucked so its ok. he heals to full its ok its ok. Jester cares so much

Yasha pulls necrotic shroud! which as someone who cant watch TM, this is a reveal for me! :D

J: (to cale) Youre alive! How did- C: (monotonous) haha! funny, joke.

Fjord explodes a goblin Molly cuts one in half, vertically

Molly curses the ogre attacking beau

Nott shoots the ogre, and then the goblin next to her... but misses and is fucked

Yash gets the hdywtdt on one of the ogres

Beau @ necrotic shroud!yasha: you look... dope. You look FUCKIN HOT LETS GO.

cay has magic missile!

fjord gets the second hdywtdt w eldritch blast.

cay n molly go to retrieve stolen goods from goblin but apparently just Molly

Yasha necrotic shrouds when shes startled awake. F: Can you fly? Y: ...no J: Have you tried? Y:... yeah.

Yasha n Caleb have a conversation in celestial C: No really, are you an angel? Y: of sorts, i guess [snip] C: You will have to explain this now, or later. do you want to explain this now, or later? Y: i- ill explain it, just, maybe we should clean up first!

i have no idea whats going on but i heard marisha say "bad dragon" and im gonna die

J: Nott, are you okay? Was it weird to fight other goblins? N: it was... rewarding. I'm only sad that... one got away. B: Nott, do you share the same hatred in yourself? [snip] N: Do... do I hate myself? No. I'm... I'm cool. F: You seem excited to hurt your own kind. N: I know, I'm a goblin, for as long as I've been alive I haven't felt comfortable in, in there. I havent felt comfortable in my skin. It feels like I shouldnt be, i dont fit in with them. I feel, this feels WRONG, like I should be in a different body. The way they act, the way they are, it's not ME. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it. I never felt the same with them. It's not that I don't like myself or anything, I think I'm okay, I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands, or my feet. They just feel wrong. I just want to be... different. C: Was there anyone you were close to? N: Not in my clan, but there was... someone. They tried me on different jobs but I was not a soldier, i was not a good cook, not good at sweing, or building, they stuck me with the torturer. I was the torturers assistant. there was a halfling village not far away and they captured someone from the village, they wanted me to kill him, but instead, I was kind to him. And he started talking, and my... fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it, because i was getting valuable information. [about halflings resources] I became friends with him. He was nice. J: What happened to him? N: I hope he got away J: Did you leave before him? N: We left together [snip J: Did you love him? N: .... I don't know. The halfling taught her how to speak in halfling, taught her about alchemy, when he has taught her everything, the goblins said to kill him. And she didnt want to. so she got REAL drunk, and shot another goblin in the ass. N: I hope he got away. We ran off in separate directions. I've been running ever since.

+1 to the quest log, find Nott's friend.

Beaus trying to be nice i love her.

C: I do not care. I know who you are now. (<333)

B: I think we're all a little bit of island of misfits.

F: You showed a lot of bravery tonight B: Nott, The brave. J: Maybe there is a comma.

Y: Nott, I'm sorry we made fun of you eating children N: I HAVE NOT EATEN CHILDREN

B: What got you locked up with this guy? (Caleb) N: Being me. Stealing food? C: You told me it was cherry wine. N: OKAY IT WAS BOOZE.

it is now raining.

M: Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart! if anyone wants to join me... J: We wont all fit! M: We'll snuggle. *

Molly + Jester are under the cart.

"i tasted a baby once. ONCE. they were handing around a bowl, I didn't know-" -N Liam takes Sam's flask and takes a swig so i assume caleb does the same in canon C: "Who am I to judge?"

#Critical role #Critical role spoilers #CR Spoilers #Critical role notes

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lesionz-blog · 6 years

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* zoey 101 vc * are u ready ?! folds hands i am usually so late to errything its annoying but ofc im earrly to dis.….. but hi kweens and kweenettes , im lus and i cant do mumu for shit ( 2 charas? 3 charas? how can ya handle that jfdhsj ! ) one of the trashy members™ here: …im 18 ( 19 in like 2 weeks lmao and im livin it up in est bc its new york bih ?? . i lost my hoots & hollers bc i love these pjo rps sm and when i saw this ? i aLMOST peed my pants . plz on Everything That i Have , plot with me, mia is deada$$ the biggest witty and aggressive person u ever met ? and u won’t regrat plotting wit me cuz i’ll show u a good time boo boos . under the cut is where u’ll find more about her plz like this and ill come to u for plots or hmu !! >:) just so y’all kno … i lava u <3

so background wise , amelia was the baby of the family, it was only rlly her.

her father is a faded lion, slack muscled, shaggy-haired ex-utility worker out on permanent disability for a work-related foot injury. he tells his glory days stories over and over again roaring his rockability talent show triumph purring about all the girls sees.he sells used adult movies at the flea market for extra cash shaves his monobrow and has an endless repertoire of twang songs that makes him sound like hes from anywhere but ny.

her dad rlly couldn’t take care of mia because well .. he was a mess. he was always pass out on the couch with beer stains on his shirt and a pizza box on the floor. mia was basically an accident/surprise to her father. he had no desire whatsoever to have kids. but he took her in anyways that night when here mother ( hecate ! a kween ) left her on the doorstep with a note explaining that this is his child and that he should take care of her at all cost. At this time, her father was a pretty laid back guy, loyal and overall nice. At the age of 5 he became a bit of an ass.

as a child the only parental guidance he ever received was from her caregiver and homeschool teacher, ana. ana was there for her. through all of it. her dad never gave her much attention after he hired her. She did not only hire her to do that but to clean the dishes, make meals, do the house work just like any mother will do.

one night 5 years later, at dinner time her father broke out. he exploded. ana was out to get some groceries but when she came into the house. the table was flipped over, food was spilled on the ground and she could here mia screams.

ana was sent by hecate as a protector to mia, when she heard the screams she immediately went up at tried to talk to her dad about it but instead her father threw her to the ground almost killing her. as for mia, her father was yelling at her, yelling at her so loud that it looked like he was going to hit her. in which, he did.

ana grabbed her father and threw him out of the room. she locked the door before going to the window and escaping the house with mia from there. She got into a cab with mia in the city, not knowing that her father was following them from behind. ana took mia to camp half blood, she tried to enter with mia but it was too late. Ana was shot three two times by her father. Mia tried to help ana but she couldn’t. She was only 10 and she was dead. she didn’t know what to do. Her father was soon arrested. And now she lived in camp half blood.

ANYWAYS ! MORE PERSONALITY STUFF B4 THIS GET TO LONG

super closed off but once u got her shes hooked lols like she will never leave u alone n thats tea!!! ur goin to go play chess but u didnt invite Mia?? 2 bad sweaty now shes comin and she doesnt even kno how to play chess.

friendly and bubbly ?

also hella feisty & bold . no filter

literally says anything on her mind

scatter brained

will fight u

impulsive !!! af !!! reckless !! af !!!

if this doesnt sum her up idk what does

#yall didnt see that other post JHGDBSWN #armored.intro #tw death !#tw abuse !

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daehquns · 7 years

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( * kyong dae-hyun. )

♡ — * » KYONG DAEHYUN looks so cute on the beach !! apparently, ( he/they ) come from ( south korea ) and are a ( twenty ) years old ( pansexual ) ( demiboy ) ( med student ). other hotel residents described them as ( gentle + sage ), but also ( ambivalent - faint-hearted ). don’t you think they look a bit like ( PARK JIMIN ) ?

WARNING: this is really long, my dudes. so long.

hello hi hi, it’s SKY ( 2-o, she/her, cest tz, but an insomniac ) & this is my smol blob of confusion, so if their story confuses you, i succeeded. also this is easily my absolute favourite character ever, so ,,, idk random info. ALSO: i have an exam tomorrow, my peeps, so i don’t think i’ll be around till tomorrow but !! i can’t wait to plot & interact with all of you.

SORTA BIO THING:

[ MISCARRIAGE TW ] kyong daehyun was born in daegu, south korea on the 22nd of february 1997. they were sort of a miracle baby bc their mom went through two miscarriages before them ( she’s rh negative & the babies were rh positive n ,,, i wont explain the biology behind it, im sure yall know that ). they’re an only child. they’ve always wanted a sibling ( an older one ,,,, they always want the impossible things smfh ). so yeah, they were a bit lonely while growing up

they were a very weak child who’d fall ill quite often (their family used to call them aga/aggie/babybc of it … sorta stuck with them to this day ), so much that it affected their education. the poor bean skipped a lot of classes, so eventually their parents decided it was best for them to leave school. they were homeschooled !! altho they now have incredible work ethic bc of this, they didn’t have many friends while growing up :( they sorta didnt even get the chance to develop n test their social skills. they came in contact with their parents, nannies, parents’ business partners, etc … long story short, they were surrounded by adults. this made them VERY mature for their age, even back then.

the greatest discovery of their life was the internet. they had little interest in sports & going outside, so they’d spend their free time glued to the screen of their laptop, either watching movies, youtube videos & tv shows or getting to know strangers from across the world thanks to various websites & apps. they’d often stay up all night n ruin their sleep pattern in order to talk to their friends from other timezones. they made them so happy. so. happy.

their parents sort of made them pursuit a medical career, though, they literally have -10 interest in it. not 0. -10. they just want to make them proud, ok ?? especially since they’ve always been an incredible student n studying came easily to them. they were praised while growing up, so naturally they started thinking they were exceptional as well.

COLLEGE ! they. hate. it. hate it. like, they are fallin apart n are like “wow so what is this, i thought i was smart ?? they told me i was the most intelligent kid in the world wHY cant i do literally anything now w o w im so average yUCK”. i mean, they still get good grades, but they ARE struggling.

[ PROFESSOR/STUDENT RELATIONSHIP THING TW ] … idk maybe someone’s triggered by that. anyway, there was a class that made them 11/10 done with life & they were sure they’d fail it n ruin their entire life, so they approached the professor ( who ,,, was rly hot n made hyunnie weak in the knees ok ) n were like “i will literally do ANYTHING in order to pass this class ,,,,,, pls”. like, they had 0 shame bc they were so done with it. n ,,, long story short, they ended up sleeping with the professor … ,,, multiple times. t was bc of the grade the first time, but … they’re pretty much in love with him now. and they’re a bit foolish, they hope he’s in love with them too. n idk they sort of dream about being in a real relationship with them. l mao … my poor kiddo.

COOLER INFO THING:

nicknames include: hyunnie, dee, mochi ( i have to steal that from jiminieeee bc yes. my squishy bol of cuteness ), aga/aggie/baby. or just call them dae or hyun honestly

daehyun is a demiboy ( they/them or he/him. if you refer to them as she/her, they will feel uncomfortable, but they will not have the guts to correct you. lmao one time they watched a woman make them european-style pancakes with nutella & cherries, even though they asked for a nutella/banana combo. they did not correct her. they ate half of it, left with a pout on their face n were sad for the rest of the day tHATS HOW ANXIOUS N SHY THEY ARE BYE ). anyway, as i said —— demiboy. panromantic ( very romantic, a huge dreamer. the type to imagine cute scenarios with their crush before falling asleep ). pansexual, though the most attracted to masculine physique buT !! they’re too self-conscious n emotion-dependent that they can’t have sex with just about anyone. n o. byee. like, the thought of getting naked in front of someone is terrifying to them, so they really need to trust n know the person. i wouldn’t call them demisexual though, since they do experience sexual attraction without having an emotional bond, they just … can’t let go of their ~stupid insecurities~

[ FOOD TW ] they don’t eat meat. yes, they do love animals n feel sad about those poor things, but that’s not the main reason why they don’t eat it. the smell, the look, the taste of meat makes them incredibly sick. when they were smol & had any sort of meat for lunch, they’d sit at the table for 5 hours n eat everything BUT the meat. most of the time, they used to give it to their dog who was v chubby bc of them. lunch was the worst time of the whole day for them, it was suuuuuuuper bad, especially since their parents didn’t understand their problem n called them spoiled. now that they are away from home, they’re super happy cause they can eat whatever they want ( sweets n pastries ). this bish ALWAYS has a lollipop in their mouth n a candy bar with them.

why are they obsessed with lollipops ? thanks to them they destroy their nails n cuticles LESS when bored, since their mouth is occupied. you can determine how life’s goin for daehyun just by looking at their hands. when everything’s good, their nails are painted ( the execution n design also say a lot about how much free time they have n how clear their head is ). when everything’s shit, they aren’t painted, they are bloody and sore, skin completely damaged, so much that it hurts to touch items with the very tips of their fingers. everything burns n they’re wincing 25/8.

they always have literally everything with them. you need a tissue, a comb, a hair brush, a band-aid, a hand sanitizer, a nail polish, some water, something sweet, a set of stem cells & a cure for every illness in the world ?they have it all. they’re always prepared for every situation. this is bc of their huge fear of facing a situation for the first time unprepared. also … you should never make them order food on their own or make a serious phone call or wtvr bc .. they can’t do that.

they’re fluent in english, but pls don’t throw big words at them :( they feel so embarrassed when they don’t know what something means. they go home & write the new word on one of their colourful cards, along with its translation to korean, a smol explanation & an example sentence n they have loads of those cards that they reread whenever they have time. when they learn a new word, they love showing off lmao dumbass

while they were back in korea n spending time on youtube, they used to watch a lot of kpop mvs + makeup tutorials n fell in love with makeup n wanted to look as beautiful as the people in those videos. they started stealin their mother’s makeup n used to be awful at paintin’ their face, but got better with time. they used to save money for eyeliners n primers n highlighters n all sort of shit n they’d hide all the products in their room n play with them whenever they were home alone. they know it’s their true passion& call, but they are so discouraged by the fact that they can’t even walk outside wearing makeup. they aint confident enough & still don’t think they can pull it off.

they made a new youtube account with the intention to post their own tutorials, but … mm, there’s still 0 uploaded videos on that channel

i’ve been struggling to decide which hair colour to go with … black, platinum blonde, silver or pink n i chose …pink.

they’ve never been in an actual relationship. never cuddled, or did couple-y things. their professor took their virginity, so … ya. that’s one of the reasons why they’re refusing to let him go.

[MEDICATION TW] as i mentioned before, they were a weak child who was often sick and had bad migraines ,,, this sort of got them hooked on medication ?? like, they will convince themself that their head is hurting and jus pop a pill without any need to do so ,,,, like, they are 110% sure they need pills to function normally every single day.

nature !! the world !! they love it.

aesthetics hoe !!!!!!!!! will sell their soul for the things that please their senses

they know how to draw well. they lololololove drawing comic book characters. like, they have their own characters already

dancing !!! especially contemporary ! bc ,,, i have a lot of those gifs n icons that i gotta use

loves apples ?

wants a cat. d e s p e r a t e l y

PERSONALITY:

i think it’s quite obvious that they’re a very anxious, shy & alert person 24/7 and i guess that you can see how their upbringing had a lot to do with it. i don’t view their shyness as cute and adorable, but they definitely aren’t grim either. they’re just closed-off. they’re not used to sharing personal stuff with other people, at least not face to face. online, everything’s different.

most of the time they’re like … “uhhhhh, people - i’d rather not. that can get me in a lot of awkward n uncomfortable situations n i’d rather avoid that’. they don’t find solitude depressing. they enjoy their alone time, they find comfort in it. they are very aware of the fact that their social skills suck & as i said a part of them doesn’t give a damn, but … another part is worried bc if they truly want to be in the makeup world, they will have to learn to be a people person, have a fantastic charisma n ,, talk to people ? lmao

their zodiac sign is pisces n they HATE IT lol they’re like “i’m not a whiny baby emo dreamer ew go away” so they keep telling people that their zodiac sign is aquarius bc it’s close enough n they find them cool n admire the description of the seemingly stoic sign that goes through life with their brain rather than their heart. they love to think that they’re strong n logical, that they’re not emotional … but that’s not the case. it’s all an act really

once you demolish their shell, you’ll find the most adorable creature in the whole entire universe ?/ they also love tellin stupid jokes. they almost never finish them bc they laugh too hard at em

they get attached to people VERY easily n then they can’t live without them n that freaks them the fuck out. like. they fall in love ten times a day. im. not. kiddin.

they’re all about living life to the fullest, they just have a bit different vision of what true livin is lmao

philosophical af ? hates small talk, always wants to talk abt deep shit

the type to send you memes and stuff that reminds them of you

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

this is so important. online friends. they met online a couple of years ago ( we’ll figure out how ) n now they’re both here and ? hyunnie is so scared to meet them bc they’re afraid that person won’t like them irl, but the desire is bigger than the fear !

similar to the previous one, but it was a long distance relationship ( it ended bc the distance was too much ig ). they only chatted, but they know everything about each other. they were infuriated every single day bc they couldn’t physically feel each other, but they still planned a future together, or at least meeting irl … maybe they now finally have a chance ?

crush. as i said, hyunnie falls quickly for a person. it can be unrequited. it’s just someone they daydream about n sigh over. or it can be the other way around, but hyunnie is quite clueless n doesn’t pick up on their hints.

friends ?? the plot depends on your charrie tbh but dw about it, i usually have 57430865026701348 ideas, so ya.

i have no idea what else ,,,, imma go make a wanted connections tag n reblog some plots probably. bUT HEY feel free to send plots my way, i luv that

#corfintro

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sorcieresque · 7 years

Text

naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes, a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea

nickatnightwalker brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?

sorcieresque Are you.

nickatnightwalker well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever

sorcieresque Good. He's not that cute either way. Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.

nickatnightwalker it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped. like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by

nickatnightwalker anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come

sorcieresque I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God. I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.

nickatnightwalker this is an escape run daise take it or leave it

sorcieresque Fine. This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.

nickatnightwalker shes not real good is she

sorcieresque No. Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.

nickatnightwalker now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped

sorcieresque Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.

nickatnightwalker round ish

sorcieresque Your face is round-ish.

nickatnightwalker no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact

sorcieresque I could if I wanted to. Take back that my head is weird-shaped.

nickatnightwalker you cant change my face

sorcieresque I can and I shall.

nickatnightwalker cant and shant

sorcieresque Take it back.

nickatnightwalker you must have seen it though

sorcieresque I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.

nickatnightwalker huh you really missed an opportunity there then

sorcieresque Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.

nickatnightwalker absolutely not hey do you think ai could even turn into me she doesnt really know what i look like

sorcieresque What do you mean.

nickatnightwalker i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad shes gonna get shit wrong

sorcieresque Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation. It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.

nickatnightwalker kind of unsettling maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us

sorcieresque On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.

nickatnightwalker for you i think she would happily

sorcieresque I know. It's charming. My intentions are only pure and scientific.

nickatnightwalker that part she might not love

sorcieresque That sounds like a her-problem.

nickatnightwalker itll be a you problem if she says no

sorcieresque What if she knows how to mold us to a T.

nickatnightwalker how could she possibly

sorcieresque Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)

nickatnightwalker no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it theres no way shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath

sorcieresque Then what's the big deal. Don't be a pussy.

nickatnightwalker well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one

sorcieresque What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world? She didn't seem to know about me.

nickatnightwalker theres a lot less to guess on with you daise

nickatnightwalker no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there

nickatnightwalker and most of us have seen your ass too

sorcieresque That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome. There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.

nickatnightwalker no, not less, just less that people dont know about it's the public semi-nudity daise

sorcieresque You make it sound a lot worse than it is.

sorcieresque You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.

nickatnightwalker oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet

sorcieresque Haha. Hardened.

nickatnightwalker i dont get it can you explain?

sorcieresque Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.

nickatnightwalker hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?

sorcieresque Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.

sorcieresque The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.

nickatnightwalker you joke and yet

sorcieresque Deepthroating a banana is cheating.

nickatnightwalker no it is NOT besides thats just how i eat them

sorcieresque Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.

nickatnightwalker please, as if she could eat a banana like i can

sorcieresque She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.

nickatnightwalker you got me there but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction

sorcieresque I suddenly don't care about this.

nickatnightwalker some principles are universal daisy

sorcieresque I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.

nickatnightwalker itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips

sorcieresque Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.

nickatnightwalker what oh yeah he just asked if i like being human

nickatnightwalker like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay

sorcieresque Aaaay! Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.

nickatnightwalker oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here "hey whats your favorite color" "do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"

sorcieresque Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.

nickatnightwalker as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him

sorcieresque Twinsies.

nickatnightwalker i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker

sorcieresque On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?

nickatnightwalker while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel

sorcieresque You've always been good at haggling.

nickatnightwalker thank you you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?

sorcieresque Ha! Perhaps not quite so good, then.

nickatnightwalker that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy

sorcieresque I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.

nickatnightwalker oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too

sorcieresque Someone's touchy.

nickatnightwalker shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand

sorcieresque An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?

nickatnightwalker with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn

sorcieresque And your sunglasses are smudged.

nickatnightwalker and your towel is too sandy to clean them on

sorcieresque And there's Sandflies.

nickatnightwalker when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours

sorcieresque Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch. Anyway.

nickatnightwalker anyway shes real fuckin annoying

sorcieresque She's not so bad. I would have stopped around the sunglasses.

nickatnightwalker you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal

sorcieresque I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.

nickatnightwalker that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near

nickatnightwalker im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm

sorcieresque What about /my/ problems, Nick.

nickatnightwalker cleas gotta come out, im not goin in

nickatnightwalker i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde that's your bad choice not mine

sorcieresque Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.

nickatnightwalker is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway

sorcieresque Yes.

nickatnightwalker name names bitch!

sorcieresque What is this, a middle school sleepover?

nickatnightwalker yep

nickatnightwalker ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill

sorcieresque You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea. Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.

nickatnightwalker of course i dont but i have YET to see a name drop

sorcieresque Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?

nickatnightwalker yes imagine some clapping emojisfor me

sorcieresque You're very insistent.

nickatnightwalker well yeah

nickatnightwalker course i wanna hear whats up

sorcieresque Oh.

sorcieresque Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute. Ines among them.

sorcieresque You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting. Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy. I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.

nickatnightwalker thats vague and intriguing keep going

sorcieresque That's all there is to say.

sorcieresque Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids. I think they're cute.

nickatnightwalker they sent me a picture of them before yknow, before why can you see them?

sorcieresque I don't know. And oh. How very juicy of them.

nickatnightwalker dyou want it

sorcieresque Absolutely I do.

nickatnightwalker [it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]

sorcieresque I see. Thank you for your candor.

nickatnightwalker youre welcome you and clea all straightened out? after what they said and everything i know they apologized but still

sorcieresque I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.

nickatnightwalker oh thats so smooth im impressed of you i mean since you told them what to do

sorcieresque And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.

nickatnightwalker obedience? generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks

sorcieresque Yes? And what would those be.

nickatnightwalker a fourth dimension australian accent

sorcieresque The compulsive chivalry grew on me.

nickatnightwalker it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop

sorcieresque Interesting.

sorcieresque I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.

nickatnightwalker i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend

sorcieresque They contain multitudes. That's why they look like that.

nickatnightwalker well shit youre not wrong there i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing

sorcieresque Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.

nickatnightwalker thank you i do try to work that in though at least sometimes

sorcieresque Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?

nickatnightwalker absolutely i do i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded

sorcieresque Wow, you're even internally consistent.

nickatnightwalker oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me

sorcieresque Whatever happened to the mystery!

nickatnightwalker new school new me

sorcieresque Your transparency of character disgusts me.

nickatnightwalker oh man daise it disgusts me too

#nickatnightwalker #IM

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