#I care about this a character a lot and I think that he’s worth a least taking a little deeper look into and understanding

[anxious-witch]

Some thoughts on Edwin through the lenses of flaws and sexuality, specifically connected to his meetings with the Cat King and what metaphors I think are cleverly used through the offers he makes to Edwin.

(Under the cut bc this will be long and I don't wanna spam the tag)

Part 1, because I realized halfway through it will be too long for one post.

Let's start with him being trapped in Port Townsend. As much as I love Edwin, we see that at the beginning of the season, he shows disregard towards people and things that he either doesn't already care about or aren't in the sphere of his interest(as seen through Crystal and briefly Niko, when he was literally ready to write her off as hysterical at first), and under that falls the cat he gets the information from.

I don't believe he has any malicious intent, but he disregard the fact that the cat is a being worthy of respect. He could have befrended the cat and get the information that way, but he didn't think it was worth his time. He even says all the cats look the same to him. To Edwin, who pays attention to the smallest details? That speaks volumes on how much he simply doesn't care about cats. Which is why the Cat King makes him count all of them. Remember all of them, for all their differences.

But I digress. Let's go back to the Cat King's offers to set Edwin free and look at them through the lenses of storytelling. First thing we need to remember is what Cat King says before that. "My kingdom is all about wants and pleasures". But is it? We see on several ocassions that Cat King acts upon an act already commited against something or someone, as someone who delivers consequences of those actions. Trapping Edwin for trapping his cat, kissing Monty without permission for him kissing Edwin without permission, exploiting Esther's immortality loophole through Crystal after Esther's exploited his immortality loophole. And eye for eye. Now, back to the offers.

Cat King offers Edwin to sleep with him or to count all the cats in Port Towsend. Or as I like to see it-accept your desire of being attracted to men, or face your flaw. Neither of which is easy for Edwin, although by the end, he bith accepts his desire and overcomes his flaw(at least in part, since no one is perfect).

We see it again when they meet during episode 4. Yes, the Cat King flirts with him and shapeshifts into Monty at Charles, playing up Edwin's desires once again. Enticing him to it. But when Edwin refuses his desires, Cat King turns to his flaw again and makes him admit it through the truth spell. "I am ashamed, it is selfish" says Edwin after.

And the Cat King could have used his shame to manipulate him, but that wasn’t the point of his character. He wants Edwin to face himself. Because you can't improve withour facing yourself.

Now, when they meet in the forest, I think their dynamics shift drastically. Specifically bc of what happens in-between their meetings. Ala, Edwin begins to actually grapple with and accept both his desires AND flaws. He realizes he is in love with Charles and the whole thing with Monty, although ends awkwarly, is a big step in the direction of accepting that he does like men romantically. And we also see him open up to Niko more, to start accepting Crystal as a person, not a rival for Charles' affection.

So with that in mind, I think he has a lot more power now, that the last time he saw the Cat King. He is blindsided for a bit with the reveal of Monty lying to him. But what I think is also really interesting, is that Monty is the one uncovering both desire and flaws in Edwin here.

When he says Charles is the one Edwin has feelings for, that it's obvious, in Edwin's eyes, he is practically throwing his desire in his face. And what does Edwin resorts back to? His copying mechanism. His flaw. "Even if it were true, you are a bloody crow!" Because Edwin isn't ready to admit to wanting Charles. Not yet.

Which is why I think the Cat King only batters with his desire afterwards! "Second kiss is always better". And while Edwin rejects him, it is noticeable different. Edwin isn't scared, he is angry. And he doesn't deny his desire like the fiest two times. "Hear me, I am not your toy to yank around. I owe you nothing". Which is why Cat King gets angry foe the first time! He can feel how close he is, and yet Edwin rejects him yet again.

Then, Edwin shows off the bracelet and says "this is all that you are." As others have pointed out, the bracelet is obviously a metaphor for Edwin's sexuality that he keeps trying to hide. Yet, here he shows it off, throws it in the Cat King's face. "I desire you, but I do not love you. This is all that you are, an attraction, a fancy". And what does Cat King do or say? Nothing. Because he is powerless in the face of Edwin's acceptance.

I'll leave their last meeting for Part 2, because this got wayyy too long already

[saintsenara]

sirius black/nymphadora tonks

thank you very much for the asks, anons!

so - first things first - harry "unexamined bisexuality" potter being convinced there could be no other explanation for tonks' melancholy during half-blood prince than her being in love with sirius [despite the fact that she's a frontline soldier in the war that horrifying news is being reported about every single day; despite the fact that her aunt is one of the most prominent death eaters and she and her family are, therefore, in enormous danger] is one of the single funniest things he ever does.

[harry low-key thinking tonks is annoying, and that sirius could do better, is another.]

but - outside of harry's sordid little fantasies - i'm actually going with... potential winner, if some very careful wrangling with the characters is done.

it's quite striking in order of the phoenix that sirius and tonks barely interact with each other - tonks spends a lot of time with lupin [unsurprisingly] and kingsley, as well as with ginny and hermione, both of whom clearly adore her, but she and sirius never actually speak to one another outside of an operational [an order meeting, an order mission] context.

[which is why harry should have listened to ron, who is the only person to point out in half-blood prince that it makes no sense for harry and hermione to think that tonks' grief - as enormous as it is - might relate to sirius, who she barely knew.]

but there's a plausible explanation for the distance between sirius and tonks in canon which i think could get very interesting in the right hands...

which is that the tonks of order of the phoenix is... kind of unserious about the war. she's introduced as a bolshy, vibrant, loud, chatty, cocky young woman - holding her own and standing out among a group of people who are all much older and more battle-worn than she is. she takes up space and she shows off [her taking requests to transform at the dinner table! iconic!]. and - while she clearly recognises that the order's mission is dangerous and important - she also clearly thinks that being in a secret resistance society is... cool.

this is not - in any way - how the post-azkaban sirius - a man whose attitude towards being in the resistance is that the main thing worth doing for your cause is dying for it - understands things.

but it clearly is how the sirius of the first war thought.

the inherent tragedy of james and sirius' young adulthood is that they both clearly believed themselves invincible. there is a carelessness woven through their [very real] commitment to the anti-voldemort cause - in how james and lily behave when they're in hiding; in the secret keeper swap; in how, as sirius says, "the risk would've been what made it fun for james" - which directly contributes to james' death and sirius' earth-shattering grief.

i think there's something incredibly compelling which could be done with an exploration of this dynamic - sirius thinking that tonks doesn't take being in the order seriously as a manifestation of his own immeasurable guilt; tonks thinking that sirius' nihilism is just as dangerous as arrogance, thinking that, when the odds are against you as it is, you need to be cocky enough to believe that you can wiggle your way out of anything - particularly in the way it might start to chip through the layers of sorrow which surround sirius during order of the phoenix and help him begin - tentatively - towards forgiving himself for his role in james' death, finding his grief an easier burden to carry, and accepting that - while, yes, there are things worth dying for - there are things worth living for as well.

harry would be shaking though, i fear.

[sleepingpopplio]

Izuku Midoriya and confronting a complicated past— an analysis

With the upcoming arc in the anime about to come after next week’s episode, I think that it’s important to talk about Izuku as a character, and everything that has led him to this moment and this particular arc in the series. While there is a lot going on in that Kid’s head, most of the things that directly cause Deku to act the way he does during his vigilante time has been left unsaid and up to the reader to pick up on. This could be seen as sloppy writing, but it could also be seen as a great use of subtlety to create a slow downward spiral for our protagonist that can be incredibly rewarding for readers who take the time to do some extra sleuthing. So before the arc begins, and before the inevitable controversy on whether or not the arc was rushed or came out of nowhere, how about we take a close look at Izuku Midoriya as a character and his depth that is often ignored. Let’s take a peek at how his entire arc is filled with tragedy, hope, and the importance of confronting one’s past. Sit back, grab a snack, and enjoy my first in depth BNHA analysis where I hope to give manga readers who are currently watching the anime some added perspective. Also disclaimer: I love all the characters in this series and will not be bashing on any of them, as I feel as though it would be undermining the messages of the story and the depth of the characters. Nothing I say is meant to be putting down any characters and I am not blaming any single character for Izuku’s struggles. All fans of any characters are safe and welcome to enjoy this.

At the beginning of the series during the very first line from our protagonist, which is something that is supposed to help the audience understand the type of story they are about to read— Izuku says “people are not born equal”. He also states that he learned that fact at the young age of four years old. From the very beginning, Deku was made to believe that he is less than everyone else. Less than those with quirks, and therefore less of a human. Quirks, literally translated from Japanese, mean individuality. To be quirkless, in the eyes of MHA’s society, is to be without a soul. Or at least, that is what can be understood by a small child who simply wants to belong. Therefore, deku internalizes form a young age that he inherently has less value as a quirkless boy, and such internalizing severely damages his perception of himself for the rest of the series. He’s a useless deku that does not have much to contribute. However, during the very same first scene we also see Izuku fighting back against the kids trying to beat him up. Despite the odds stacked against him, Izuku midoriya is determined to prove himself. He’s determined to prove to others, and to himself, that he has value. He is also determined to keep moving forward despite society seemingly turning him away. But children need time to process their emotions. They need time to learn and talk through the issues they’re facing. Izuku does not do that. He keeps fighting, he keeps wanting to be a hero, but he doesn’t talk to any adult around him about how he feels. He doesn’t get told that he is perfect the way he is, or that he doesn’t have to prove anything. What happens when such insecurities and trauma are not given the space to heal at an early age? Well let’s move forward a few years…

When Deku meets all might, and demonstrates his innate and pure heroism when he runs to save Bakugo from the sludge villain, he is offered a once an a lifetime chance: One For All. He is told that he can become a hero, and is aided in training to use the quirk and get into UA. By this point, Izuku’s self esteem issues that stemmed from his childhood and the the perception of quirklessness that was placed upon him by the world around him have only grown. He wants to be a hero, but he also has become quiet and reserved, as he thinks of himself more as an afterthought. He wants to help people, because he cares and he is a kind hearted individual, but also because he want to be useful. He has to be a useful hero, but how? The quirk of One For All thus represents a way to be useful in the way that Izuku thinks is correct, which is by being a quirked individual. So what happens when you give a kid with extreme self esteem issues, and who views himself as flawed for simply being himself, a very powerful quirk along side the opportunity to become a hero? That child latched onto the quirk like a lifeline. They have to make good use of their new quirk; they have to utilize the blessing granted to them or else they will remain useless and will be left behind. Izuku will work hard to earn his quirk because he feels as though he is unworthy, even though he already proved himself the second that his body moved on its own. Therefore, the second Izuku is given his quirk, he begins the cycle of using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism and source of validation. He is more hopeful than ever when given the quirk, but his unhealthy mindset is also given the power to run rampant. This is the story of a boy becoming the greatest hero he says, so early on in the series, but it also of a boy desperately trying to become more than he currently is, for better and for worse.

This then leads to the beginning of his time at UA, where Izuku, in addition to clinging onto his quirk as a replacement for his self esteem, begins reclaiming the meaning of his nickname Deku. “Deku is the name of a hero” he declares, and while taking back the power from his former bully and standing up for himself is an incredibly uplifting moment or Izuku in the beginning of the manga, there is another side of the coin that is the reclamation of Deku. Izuku Midoriya feels as though he has to be the new, hero Deku, or else there is nothing else worthwhile about him. He has to prove himself as a true hero or else he’ll have to go back to the old, useless Deku…He’ll forever be left behind. So, he breaks himself. Over, and over, and over again. The hero named Deku breaks his limbs time and time again, because if he doesn’t push himself to the brink, then he hasn’t done enough, and therefore he has failed the quirk that he was blessed with and failed the people who have helped him. The sentiment that he needs to hurt himself, or even nearly get himself killed, is incredibly concerning and could even be seen as suicidal ideology. Furthermore, this ideology creates an intense fear that follows Izuku wherever he goes, and even causes him to blame himself in scenarios where it’s not his fault at all, such as the summer camp arc where he was nearly killed by muscular, yet still beats himself up over Bakugo’s capture.

Another development that occurs at the beginning of Izuku’s time at UA is the start of an insurmountable amount of pressure being placed on his shoulders. When Izuku first received One For All, he was told that he could use the quirk to achieve his dreams of being a hero. He knew nothing of its past, and was given no indication that he had to live up to it. Yet, during the tournament arc Allmight begins mentioning the idea of Izuku becoming the next symbol of peace. While an honor to have, being the number one hero and an international symbol was not what Izuku, a fourteen year old kid at the time of the sludge villian attack, signed up for. Yet, he takes on the responsibility with a nervous smile on his face, and the shadow of all might begins following him. Next, he learned about the horrifying figure that is All For One, and Izuku is told that he may have to fight him one day; He may have to fight someone that he had previously thought to be nothing more than an urban legend. The child who wanted to become a hero now has to be prepared to fight the demon lord. Moreover, these revelations begin the process of Izuku placing more and more pressure on himself to be the best hero possible. He cannot afford to make a mistake. He cannot afford to be useless, because the legacy of One For All demands that he be exceptional. Afterall, he’s the ninth user. Do the wants of Izuku Midoriya really matter more than the fate of the world?

During all of this, Izuku slowly becomes more comfortable with his quirk, and grows in confidence. He truly becomes equals with Bakugo and works with him to mend their relationship, and he also develops his shoot style in an effort to move away from imitating All might. These things are all possible development for Izuku’s character and also gradually take place as the series goes on. After so many years of being quiet, he finally opens himself up again; He opens himself up to love from his peers, and opens himself up to new experiences. He also becomes more willing to talk back to others, as demonstrated by his attitude towards Endeavor, and later his more frequent and friendly banter with Bakugo. However, the self esteem issues and insecurities never go away, and Deku still breaks himself every chance he gets. The pressure also still continues to build as Allmight retires, and Izuku becomes truly trapped in his role as the successor. He accepts his role, and is happy to be serving others, but Allmight’s retirement leaves a void that Izuku feels as though there is no one else left to fill but himself. There’s no backing out now, and Izuku’s quirk development now has to speed up or else he will never be able to fill that void. He also witnesses the might of All For One in person, and the nightmare of him having to face the demon lord becomes even more of a reality. Through all of this, Izuku still refuses to talk about his feelings with his peers or the adults around him, and instead he decides to keep marching forward without taking any time to let himself, or his mind, rest. The only sliver of hope for Izuku’s mental well-being is the fact that he still allows himself to cry. Therefore, the shadow of responsibility that followed Izuku morphs into a massive weight on his shoulders that helps to steer his development backwards and into character regression.

Izuku’s mental health then takes a turn for the worst after the Overhaul arc, which was also a turning point for the series with its dark tone. As Izuku sees for himself the real horrors of the criminal underground, he once again blames himself for Eri’s circumstances and his inability to save someone. Through this experience, Izuku becomes so entrenched in the idea of becoming the perfect hero that he even begins denying himself the right to cry. He says that “heroes don’t cry”, and other characters such as Todoroki are shocked at the statement by their friend. Crying was one of Deku’s last healthy coping mechanisms, and he loses that too. Nighteye’s death cements this fact, as it is actually the last time that Deku sincerely cries in series, before the end of vigilante arc. All other times that he cries moving forward form this point are played off as gags, and thus Izuku represses his emotions to an extent that is even foreign to him, as someone who has been suppressing his emotions since he was a small child. It should also be noted that this arc highlight’s Deku’s uncertainty as a holder of One For All. This shows that no matter how much Deku’s confidence improves, he will continuously view himself as not good enough and fear the return of the former “useless” Deku. In addition, the overhaul arc also highlights Izuku’s loss of innocence. As I said before, Izuku is exposed to the true cruelties & horrors of the villian underground, but this development is not new. Dating back to the Stain arc, Izuku has been gradually losing more and more of his innocence. Even when he endured a very difficult childhood, Deku was at least able to told onto hope and be optimistic for the future, but being thrusted into the world of heroes takes the bright eyes boy and chips away at his soul. He keeps going, because as always he refuses to give himself time to heal, but the Izuku at the end of the Overhaul arc is not the same person as we was when he first enrolled in UA, and he never will be again. The fear, responsibility, and loss of innocence all culminate to send the mental health of Izuku Midoriya into a free fall, but he would never admit it. Instead, he keeps on smiling.

We are getting close to the vigilante arc (I hope you’ve been enjoying this so far!), but one final significant development in Izuku’s mental state occurs during the Class 1-A and Class 2-A training session, where he is once again given responsibilities that he never asked for. At this point, Izuku’s confidence has grown exponentially, but on further inspection much of that confidence seems to be misplaced. You see, while Izuku becomes extremely confident in his use of One For All, he still remains insecure about himself as an individual. He still lives in fear of being useless, and constantly needs to prove himself. This is because Izuku Midoriya the individual is being slowly left behind, while the Deku the hero becomes comfortable with his quirk because if he can’t master his quirk then he has nothing. He is nothing… Then Blackwhip appears, and Izuku has to relearn his quirk even though he had already been working fro months to get to to the place he’s currently at. It feels like a slap to the face, but now that Izuku has now more formally met the vestiges, he’s given no choice but to accept his new quirks in addition to his role in “completing One For All,” as The 1st user puts it. Izuku Midoriya fades even more, the incredible amount of responsibility grows even more, and the hero Deku sees himself as nothing else but the ninth holder. Most of this understanding of Izuku’s mental state is not actually spoken of out loud in the manga/anime, but the context clues of the events leading up to this moment (as shown by all the writing before this), Izuku’s facial expressions, and the events afterward help strip away the smile that Izuku is so determined to keep on his face almost the entire arc and show high Izuku’s walls have grown around his internal anguish. Therefore, the metaphorical vault shown that Izuku uses to lock away his quirks is also used to lock away his emotions once and for all. The only leak in this facade that we have until the end of the vigilante arc is…

Izuku’s character regression has already been set in stone by the time the war arc comes around, but what is important to note is how his repressed emotions manifest in the form of his intense rage. We’ve seen this before, with how Izuku becomes incredibly intimidating and unhinged during his fights with villains such as Muscular and Stain. All For One’s theme even plays in the anime as Izuku fights Overhaul to represent how monstrous he is int eh eyes of villains during battle. The difference during this arc is that other characters are finally catching on to just how toxic Izuku’s ideology has become. Bakugo in particular takes takes note of just how not ok it is for Izuku to not take himself into account, and shows visible concern while Izuku fights with Shigaraki in the air. Not only is Izuku being destructive to himself, but he also lashes out so harshly that is seems though he intends to kill Shigaraki in the moment. But to Izuku, he has no other choice. He is Deku, a hero, and the Deku who always does his best. Deku himself veery clearly states during this arc that he will no longer be the useless deku, and with that statement he resolves to kill the remnants of Izuku Midoriya, the quirkiness kid with bright eyes, himself. He cannot afford to be useless. He refuses. He will kill himself during this fight with Shigaraki if that’s what it takes to be a hero who saves everyone and a hero who is worthy of being the ninth holder of one for all. Finally, everything has come full circle, and the name Deku starts as something negative, then is given hope to become something positive, but then once again becomes a toxic image within Izuku’s life. That is why it is so important when Izuku is called by his first name in the vigilante arc— because Izuku Midoriya, both the quirkiness child and the current person, are deserving of love and have value beyond their quirk. Izuku is more than One For All, but unfortunately all of his repressed emotions that have been highlighted throughout this entire analysis have to explode out of him in order for him to heal. In addition, Deku and the repression of his emotions has led him to push everyone else away, even back when he was smiling nonstop. The war arc simply showcases ho bad that seclusion has gotten, and that when it comes down to it Deku will purposely exclude his peers in order to suffer alone.

Izuku, in the vigilante arc, will simply be the ninth holder of One For All, whose only purpose and value lies in defeating All For One himself. Furthermore, at the center of this entire discussion, is the fact that Izuku is afraid of his past. All of his self esteem issues come from such a young age, and yet he does not know what else to do besides run from it. Izuku Midoriya is a character that is so defined by his past, yet is so desperate to escape it. Therefore, he will need to be reminded by his loved ones that the cycle of trauma that he has endured throughout his life does not have to continue. He can choose his own way. He is not shackled by his past, and thus healing is possible. It’s not too late, and all he needs is his friends to remind him of why he is loved for his heart, and not his quirk. Therefore there is no singular character that got through to Deku. All of 1-A saved the boy who was so desperate to save anyone but himself.

With that said…

Deku’s entire arc throughout the series leading up to the vigilante arc has been filled with regression, in the sense that the heros around him place more and more pressure on him to the point that he does not consider himself human, but rather a tool that has no value outside of One For All. This is the story of a boy that becomes the greatest hero, but also of a boy that was stripped of his innocence and beaten down by a system that rejected him since the beginning, yet he still dreamed of being a part of. The entire vigilante/villain hunt arc brings together all of the pent up pain and self-loathing that has been following him since the beginning of the series, and shows how everything that he’s been hiding has finally caught up to him. The pain and trauma that we see from Izuku in this arc was always there, and all it took was the war arc to trigger it to come forward. In conclusion, Izuku Midoriya is an extremely complicated character who has been on a fascinating downward spiral since the beginning of the series, and if readers can take the time to see how he got to where he is, then maybe we can at least better understand the context behind the vigilante/villain hunt arc, and the complexity behind My Hero Academia’s protagonist.

Credit to @mettywiththenotes for having the post that inspired this essay, and that I originally had the conclusion of this analysis posted under as a reblog. Also credit to @pikahlua’s mha discord server that I’m in for encouraging me to write this!!!

[bylertruther]

i was doing my regular rewatch the other day and tbh... lonnie and will's relationship is so unsettling. lonnie literally did not give a single goddamn fuck that his own twelve year old son was missing and later "dead". he just... did not fucking care! at all. couldn't even pretend to. jonathan comes to tell him what happened and we see that...

lonnie got joyce's call and still didn't care to reach out,

when jonathan tells him this is serious and real, he mocks will by saying "he was never very good at taking care of himself" (which is already disturbing considering this is his son he's talking about, but especially so when you remember that lonnie abused will for being gay and tried to get him to like "masculine" things),

he's already talking to jonathan about seeing him more and reconnecting, like will isn't fucking missing, like he's already fucking dead and he's moved on, as if will is some stranger or worse someone that never existed at all,

instead of feeling any kind of shame about jonathan not believing him when he says will isn't there and him looking in the actual fucking trunk of his car, he just makes a joke out of it asking if jonathan's gonna check up his ass too,

his neglect is brought up again when jonathan slams one of the posters to his chest and tells him "in case you forgot what he looks like",

and that's not even touching on the fact that the very first thing we see lonnie do when jonathan enters the house is fucking shove and pin him to the wall, telling him "you got stronger".

like, he is not a good man in the slightest—the complete antithesis of the byers we know.

and then afterward... lonnie finally decides to come back. he's being nice to joyce and pretending like he's the man of the house again. like he's finally come home to fix and save his family.

he goes to will's funeral and treats it like a schmoozing event, like that isn't his youngest son being buried right in front of him, showing less emotion than one of will's classmates that hasn't ever even talked to him.

but... he's not there because he's had a sudden change of heart.

no, he's there because he has something to gain out of this unimaginable tragedy. his own youngest son is dead and he comes back home to collect a fucking check for it. because he's never cared about will, hasn't ever even seen him as a human being, he just... sees his death as something he can benefit from.

it's just so fucked up and so sinister. lonnie isn't a man riddled with vices, beholden to some disease which makes him act in ways most unbecoming. no, he's... just a man. a small, manipulative, and cruel leech of a man that just doesn't fucking care and is in it only for himself.

it's just... it's really tragic to think that will really was dealing with monsters way before that first demogorgon ever came through the gate.

and even then... that demogorgon was an animal acting as animals do / possessed by vecna and you can't really blame it for that. but what's lonnie's excuse, huh?

[alchemocha]

Filled with literally so many feelings about jimbotnik I could burst from the seams

Just… thinking about him, his upbringing, the reasons he is the way he is now, what’s buried beneath the crafted image…

The loneliness he’s likely felt growing up. The depression and anxiety and self loathing I’m sure he’s had since far too young that he buries so deep if it were to escape again it would probably have 3 heads now. But you can only hold so much back before that dam bursts and it all overflows in a flood

He’s so fascinating to analyze and dissect psychologically, and to overlook his whole life. I’d really like to write some pieces touching on those things more directly, I have so many thoughts I couldn’t possibly convey properly just by babbling

Give jimbotnik the love and friendships he deserves!!!

[dykedivorce]

if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

one thing i was not prepared for when i started this rewatch of sdmi has been for it to finally sink in how absolutely heartbreaking daphne's whole deal is. this poor kid, man

[ask-dgs-221bbakerstreet]

As Twisted Klimt falls to the ground, Genshin wraps his arms around Kazuma. “I’ve got you, you’re safe now. I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again.”

Haah, haah, haaah...

F-Father... I'm... I'm sorry.

I keep trying to push you away, a-and here you are, helping me, a-and...

...I don't deserve this....

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

hunter x hunter update: it's good 😭

[musical-chick-13]

I bring a real "Doctor x River OTP" vibe that a bunch of the DW fandom doesn't really like.

[orcelito]

Maybe. I could try to draw Dohalim

......later

[euthymiya]

twenty degrees ft. veritas ratio

contains: female reader, reader sits on dr ratios lap, established relationship, spoilers for dr ratio character story iii, reverse comfort, soft dr ratio, lots of banter, this is a public threat to the aeon nous: acknowledge my man before we have issues. thank you!!!

veritas has been silent. there’s a letter on his desk when you come in, one that’s a bit crumpled at the corner as though it were clutched tightly in a fist. and veritas—well, veritas has been silent since you walked in.

“hello, love,” you murmur, coming behind him to gently knead at his shoulders. they seem tense—perhaps a bit extra stiff at your touch. you frown as you murmur, “bad day? have your students been giving you trouble?”

he’s quiet for a long moment. enough that you wonder if he’ll respond at all, until a sigh breaks the silence. “there’s been an invitation,” he murmurs, slowly reaching for the letter and handing it to you.

against the signs, the rigid the posture and heavy silence, the suffocating tenseness and lifelessness of the room, you seem to brighten. to have hope. veritas is a genius—a genius that is renowned far and wide among the cosmos, and should be recognized as such. an invitation surely means he’s been recognized by nous.

it’s what you—it’s what he’s been waiting on for so long. despite the signs that should tell you no, everything about veritas and his brilliance allows you to hope yes.

perhaps that’s why it’s all the more crushing when you notice the words interastral peace corporation at the top of the paper.

“the ipc?” you ask carefully, skimming the invite, “the intelligentsia guild. i see.”

“well, do say something,” he laughs, self-deprecating and bitter as he sets his pen down. “it’s not what you were expecting, i suppose?”

“oh, veritas,” you say softly, pulling his chair from his desk and letting yourself sit on his lap. he’s silent—as silent as when you walked in, as silent as someone who harbors the crushing weight of defeat, as silent as someone who has no hope left for goals—no, dreams that are just a fingertip’s bit out of distance.

“it is an opportunity worth taking, i suppose,” he gives you a tight, barely visible smile, “if by now i have not caught nous’s gaze, then it is safe to assume that i never will at any point. it’s alright, darling.”

veritas, despite all he is, is your lover first. before he allows himself to be a genius or doctor or professor, he makes sure to love you before all. you think it’s one of the reasons it’s so easy to love him yourself—but sometimes, you wish he didn’t love you so much. not enough to plaster on a fake smile and even faker words so as not to worry you, even as his every aspiration falls through the slips of his fingers like drops of water he’ll never be able to grip onto.

“it is alright,” you nod, “but not because the intelligentsia guild is all you’ll amount to—i know what you’re thinking, veritas,” you say sternly, poking his forehead. he frowns at the sudden gesture, only to stiffen momentarily as your hands gently cup his cheeks. “it’s alright because you have shown enough people that you are worthy of any acknowledgment from nous. many men have been bestowed upon such a gaze for far less—it’s okay, veritas, and it’s okay because it is simply that your talents are meant to align with a path that doesn’t follow nous. and i am proud of you regardless of that path.”

he lets out a soft, amused huff at that through his nose, closing his eyes as he hums, “such careful words. am i that delicate? it is alright to deem a failure as just that—a failure.”

“you are not a failure, veritas,” you scold firmly, “not to me or anyone who’s seen an ounce of your achievements. for such a smart man, you really can say such silly things.”

“i wasn’t referring to myself,” his lips tug upwards a bit more, eyeing you fondly, “but it is a rather…comforting feeling to know you think so passionately of my previous achievements. i only meant a failed attempt is still a failed attempt despite the other successes, i’m afraid. it seems i’m destined for failure at receiving such an acknowledgment—but the intelligentsia guild is better than nothing.”

“is a genius only a genius if an aeon says so?” you ask softly, pecking the corner of his lips.

“of course not,” he answers instantly.

“then you believe yourself to be one, no?”

“of course, darling,” he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer against his chest, “just not a genius worthy of higher praise, perhaps.”

“does the gaze of nous mean more to you than mine?” you ask with a kiss to his cheek.

he looks at you as though you’ve grown two heads. “such odd questions run through that head of yours,” he murmurs.

“answer the question, veritas. would the praise of nous mean more to you than mine?”

“of course not,” he indulges you, rolling his eyes as he raises a questioning brow at you.

“well then,” you grin cheekily, “it seems you’ve already gathered the highest of praise in the cosmos.”

“and who’s would that be?” he snorts, humoring you.

“mine,” you pout, “you already have my praise, you fool.”

“and it is the highest praise of the cosmos,” he agrees, leaning in to kiss you softly, sighing against your mouth as you fingers weave into the waves of his hair, stroking the dark locks and trailing to the nape of his neck.

“i’ll tell you until you believe it,” you murmur against his lips, kissing them briefly between the words, “that you’re not a failure.”

“how can i be? when i have such brilliance in my arms,” he murmurs, letting out a soft sigh in content as your nails gently scratch over his scalp soothingly.

“surely i can’t be at the top of the list of your achievements,” you roll your eyes, “you have eight phd’s, for crying out loud.”

“you sell yourself short, darling,” he chuckles, “even a man with twenty degrees still couldn’t hope to understand your many…eccentricities.”

“veritas!” you huff, slapping his arm, making him chuckle.

veritas, before he is a genius, before he is a man who aspires to claim the highest of achievements a scholar can hope achieve and join the ranks of genius society, is your lover first. there is little to be disappointed in when even despite every failed attempt, you still cozy yourself into his arms, covering him in your warmth and sheltering him in your touch, safely kept away from all the self destructive thoughts.

“now, now,” he grins teasingly, “i only meant you’re worth more than twenty degrees. it’s a compliment.”

“don’t think you can sweet talk me, you treacherous man,” you sulk, “i am the greatest gift any man could hope to receive.”

“as much as it pains me to agree with you, i’m afraid you’re right.” he shakes his head, the beginnings of a smile forcing along the edges of his lips as he looks at you with something crossed between wonder and affection.

“i’m proud of you, veritas,” you remind him one more time, softly, “not simply because i love you. because you impress me every day, in ways no one manages to.”

“is that so?” he tilts his jaw, letting you kiss the angle of it sweetly.

“yes,” you whisper in between feather-light kisses.

“then that is enough,” he closes his eyes.

nous when i catch you nous. when i catch you nous. when. i. catch. you. nous. 🔪

[tropicalcryptid]

Ok so She-Ra pulled such a great hat trick with Hordak's characterization, and I LOVE it

One of my favorite things about 2018 She-Ra is Hordak's story and development (and Entrapdak cough but that's not the point of this particular post), and the cleverest thing is that so much of it is actually being set up and told to us in seasons 1 and 2 before we even realize that that's what's happening.

When we first see Hordak in the show, he's giving "generic evil overlord" vibes. Garden-variety baddie. Maybe a little more reasonable than some and clearly capable of long-term thinking, but that just serves to make him intimidating. Everything about him--the way he runs his empire, his armor, his color scheme, his minion, his Villainous Eye Makeup(TM), even his name--are all projecting to the audience "yup, Acme Bad Guy here. Move right along."

But then, backstory. And everything snaps into focus. Not only is it one of the first big oh SHIT moments of the show, where we suddenly zoom out and realize that there is SO much more going on than we realized--it's also the start of the audience seeing Hordak as a character rather than an archetype. Suddenly we realize that he's not conquering Etheria because he wants power, or hates happiness and sparkles, or whatever--he's doing it out of a desperate attempt to prove his worth to his brother/creator/god. This moment where Hordak lets Entrapta in is also the moment the show lets us in on what makes our favorite spacebat tick.

On top of that, we've also seen him bonding with Entrapta and opening up to this person that he respects and trusts...probably the only person he's ever respected or trusted apart from Prime. And she's Etherian--someone of a lower species, someone he's supposed to subjugate, someone who he has been raised and trained and programmed and mind-controlled into believing is below him in every way.

But instead she's brilliant and creative and mesmerizing. She's not afraid of him, and she's fascinated with his work. For the first time since being abandoned by Prime, Hordak finally has someone that he can talk to, who is on his level and both understands and cares about the science! (because he is a giant nerd). She's kind to him, a mere defect. And it just sends his whole worldview into a spin, and that's all before--

Bam, mans is a goner. Entrapta's "Imperfections are beautiful" comment punches right through all the toxic bs that Hordak has been steeped in his entire life. You can see on his face here--I think it's the moment Hordak fell in love with Entrapta, but this is also the face of a spacebat reevaluating his entire worldview. If Entrapta, who is amazing, believes something different from Prime...what does that mean? If Entrapta, who is brilliant, believes that he is worth something, and that she herself is a failure...

Well. We know what happens after that, and how Hordak begins to doubt, and eventually fights back against Prime (and remembers his love for Entrapta after TWO mind wipes help my heart ack). But we also get to see what life in the Galactic Horde looks like: the only life Hordak ever knew before coming to Etheria.

It's not nice.

It's really not nice.

Prime operates in a very specific way, and we learn a lot about it in season 5. Prime expects complete obedience, devotion and worship from his clones. He allows no individuality from his subjects, not even a name. Failure or deviations are punished, mind-wiped, or destroyed. We even learn from Wrong Hordak that facial expressions are considered a privilege reserved for Prime (apart from, presumably, expressions of rapture caused by being around Prime).

And once we learn all of this, suddenly thinking about season 1 Hordak becomes very interesting indeed. The time we spend with the Galactic Horde and Prime throws absolutely everything that we know about Hordak into a whole new context. Now all those traits that made him a generic villain are actually hugely effective characterization! And what that characterization is telling us is that Hordak had already moved much farther away from Prime than we (or, probably, he) had realized, even long before he met Entrapta.

Horde Prime does not allow his underlings to have names, personalities, or any differences of appearance. Not only does Hordak allow this among his own troops, he chose a name for himself as well! Season 5 tells us that his very name is an act of blasphemy against his god. And yet Hordak took one for himself, and that name is part of the core identity he is able to hold on to when rebelling against Prime.

Horde Prime cast Hordak out when he showed signs of physical imperfections. Hordak not only keeps Imp (who is by all appearances a failed clone or similar experiment) around, he treats Imp more gently than we see him treat anybody or anything before Entrapta. Imp is not simply "generic evil guy's minion," he is proof of Hordak's capacity for compassion, and evidence that Hordak cannot bring himself to cast aside "defects" as easily as Prime. Considering where Hordak came from, Imp's existence is a huge, flashing neon sign telling the audience this guy here is better than the hell that molded him, and we don't even realize it until 4 seasons after it's been shown to us!

Very cool, ND.

There's more, though. Hordak's red and black color scheme? His dark eye makeup and lipstick? Very Evil Overlord chic. But nope! Actually these are actually expressions of individuality on a level that Hordak knows would be abhorrent to Prime!

Reading between the lines, I see this as Hordak desperately trying to reconcile two diametrically opposed beliefs in his head: (1) devotion to Prime, whose approval he desperately craves, and (2) maintaining some degree of unique personhood, of Hordak, from which to draw strength. Because a failed, defective clone cannot survive on a hostile world, cut off from the hivemind and from Prime's light. A failed clone cannot create an empire to offer Prime as tribute, nor build a spacetime portal from scraps and memory to call Prime back. A failed clone cannot create cybernetic armor to keep his hurting, weakened body alive; to force himself to keep going no matter what, to fight through the pain and the doubt by sheer force of will.

But maybe Hordak can.

And so there it is. Hordak had plenty of time to gain and explore his individuality while separated from Prime, but I think the reason he did it so effectively (while still deluding himself that Prime would forgive him for these little sins, if only Hordak could prove his value) is because he had to.

Wrong Hordak gained his individuality surrounded by kind, quirky people who took care of him; Hordak was ripped from the hivemind by Prime himself and had to fight for his survival against all odds. And that produced a dangerous and damaging foe for Etheria. But it also produced the one clone with the strength of will to defy Prime himself.

This is long and rambling, but ultimately my point is that 1) I love Hordak, and 2) I love love love love that the show was so clever about his characterization. We learn so much about him and how much progress he's already made in breaking from his psycho abusive cult upbringing, and we don't even recognize it until the show wants us to. Hordak had come so far, all on his own, before he met Entrapta. She just helped push him over the edge and finally realize (at least consciously) that Prime's worldview might not be the correct one.

Idk, I just don't know if I've ever seen all the trappings of Basic 80's Villain(TM) so successfully subverted, where looking back 4 seasons later is actually a smack in the face with the "effective character building" stick. Amazing.

[areislol]

“You really took care of us huh?”

►— pairings. genshin men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. nothing that i know of?

►— synopsis. albedo created a machine where it would bring back their creator, who was stuck in another world, back to where they belong. but instead of bringing you here to them, it brought them to where you were.

►— a/n. OMG IM SO SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS OUT LATER THAN EXPECTED 😭 instead of writing i was playing a game so that’s on me, i was also unbelievably tired this week, my fault! but it’s out now 🫶🏻

►— wordcount. 4.1k

✧ part one | ✧ part two | ✧ part three | ✧ part four | ✧ part five | more tba.. NAVIGATION

recommended to listen to: wave to earth - seasons or only - leehi

You never expected, not even in a million years or like.. in a lifetime for the video game characters coming alive and appearing in your room.

And they were handsome too, like, drop-dead gorgeous and the fact that they all respect and love you… You were surely the luckiest person alive right now.

These men also made your bank account cry, the amount of money you had spent on them—pulling for them (and losing many 50/50’s) and their weapon, grinding for hours trying to get their materials to ascend them and for their weapons, artifacts (you’d rather not talk about it) skills and EVERYTHING.

You put more work into making sure they’re all fully taken care of and put to the best of their ability than compared to your work. It was a bit concerning yes but, this game—the characters, we’re so comforting to you than anything else. So of course you poured your whole soul into the game and their characters.

(Also the fact that you also read fanfics about them and now they’re suddenly in your room does not help with your infatuation with them)

And so this brings you to where you were now, showing off their showcase at 10 in the morning.

“Oh wow Y/n! You worked really hard to make us strong.. no wonder why I felt so strong all of the sudden in one day..”

Aether watched in awe and amazement as you showed him his artifacts and his weapons with Venti, Pierro, Diluc, Kaeya, Tighnari and a few others hovering and peeking out from behind your chair, watching as you showed Aether’s build to everybody.

The rest were in your living room, eating breakfast. You had decided to eat breakfast after showing the people who wanted to know their builds.

For some reason their characters were still in the game despite really being in your world. You would have to ask Albedo about this later.

“What about me?” Diluc grumbled, trying his best to ignore the states he got. “What? I can’t ask Y/n something so simple?” Everybody shook their heads “no”.

Smiling, you replied. “Of course! I remember when your skin first came out I was all over it, I made sure to buy it to, did you like it? I think it looked beautiful on you.”

Diluc blushed at your words and nodded his head. “Mhm. I loved it, Y/n, thank you.” He stated, smiling warmly down at you.

You began to stroll through your characters until you found Diluc. “There you are—look at you! So handsome..” you sighed dreamily before snapping out of your trance and cleared your throat and began to go through his build.

Once you had finished showing Diluc and everybody his showcase, more people wanted to know about theirs and obviously you couldn’t say no so that’s how you ended up showing nearly everybody’s build and showcasing their skills and whatnot.

“And yeah! I did spend a lot of money but it was.. I guess worth it? I mean I’m glad you guys felt strong and all!”

Tighnari sighed and rested his hand on your desk. “We are all thankful, but seriously you didn’t have to spend all of the days you worked so hard for..” he explained, Diluc agreed with him.

The rest, too, didn’t want you to waste your hard work but then again for you to work so hard on and take care of them ignited something inside of them, so they couldn’t complain.

Before you could respond, a knock was heard. “Come in!” You shouted, turning around in your chair to see who it was.

Lyney entered the room and smiled at you (ignoring the others) “are you done? Your breakfast may get cold you know..” his gaze wanders off to the guys beside you. “Oh, and yours too.”

You could hear the scoffs coming from Diluc and Pierro. “Yeah I’m pretty hungry right now, and was it (Vietnamese) broken rice I smelt?” You asked, getting up from your seat and walking towards Lyney. He nods his head.

“Yeah, Aether found the recipe in a book and found the ingredients for it, lucky huh?”

As you smiled at him and began to walk out of your room followed by the others as Lyney cocks his head to the side—ordering them to get a move on and out of your room. “Come on, I bet you all are starving right now!”

Making your way to living room, you found everybody already done with their breakfast, with only a few plates placed on the coffee table for you and the others.

“Ouuuuh it looks absolutely delicious? Who cooked it?” You asked, sitting down on a pillow beside Xiao and Wriothesley.

“Thoma did with the help of Neuvillette and Childe, surprisingly.” Cyno responded, eyeing Childe from the corner of his eyes.

“Hey… what’s that supposed to mean?!” Childe yelled, pouting at Cyno before looking at you, betrayed and defeated.

You shrug your shoulders and began to dig in your food with Diluc, Venti, Pierro and Tighnari mirroring your actions, sitting down and eating their breakfast.

Childe began to make his way towards you and pushed the other men away that were behind you, this obviously annoyed them but before they could yell at him (start world war 3*) he had wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck.

“You don’t think I poisoned your food, do you?” He mumbled, even though you couldn’t see his face you knew he was pouting.

You shake your head no, not even reacting to his affection—you were somewhat used to it. “‘Course not, I don’t think you could ever actually.”

Childe smiled on your skin and tightened his grip on you. “Mhm. Thanks snookums.”

Everybody cringed (some nearly gagged) at the corny pet name. “Snookums, really? Out of all the petnames.. and it’s not the first time he called them that.” Kaveh whispered to Al-haitham who was obviously disgusted by the pet name.

“Mhm, it truly is disgusting..” Al-haitham whispered back, looking away from the ginger.

Childe rolled his eyes at their reactions and continued to hold you in his arms, Xiao holding back his urge to tackle him right there and then but you were in his arms so he couldn’t, because if he did you would get harmed and he would rather die than hurt you.

While you were eating your breakfast, you grabbed the remote and began to go through the channels—animal documentary, no.. news, yes. Setting down the remote on the table you listened closely to the news.

You weren’t the type to listen to the news but today was an exception, because you just felt like it. “What’s that?” Ayato asked, eyes ogling at the news reporter in the middle addressing the weather.

“Oh-“ “how does she know the weather so precisely?”

“Because, she is a news reporter, she reports on the weather and gives us all of the latest news about whatever.”

The sounds of them “oooh”ing and “aah”ing could be heard from all around you. With Al-haitham and Dainsleif just giving a small “mhm.”

You spend the next few minutes just eating breakfast and watching them all eye the TV and listen closely to the woman. This was.. interesting to them, they had never experienced this before.

Finally you were done eating breakfast, you were the last one to finish so as you began to wash your dish, you looked back and found Neuvillette behind you.

“Oh- god!” Your body jolted as your heart rate spiked up. “You scared me!” You said, sort of breathless.

Neuvillette sends you an apologetic look and apologies. “I’m so sorry for scaring you like that.. I apologize. I should’ve told you beforehand..” his brows furrowed, he looked extremely guilty it was eating your heart away. You couldn’t just not forgive him!

“It’s really okay Neuvillette! I just got a little scare was all..” you laughed at his scared face and turned back around to wash your dish. “What did you want?”

There was silence at first, Neuvillette didn’t respond, there seemed to be a nervous and awkward tension between you two.

“Neuvillette..? Did you want something?” You repeated, placing your dish in the dish rack before washing the other utensils, still awaiting his response.

“I-..” Neuvillette pauses, cheeks slightly tinted with red. “I uhm. I wanted to..” all of the sudden Neuvillette suddenly pulls you in a hug from behind, his arms awkwardly wrapped around your waist.

You were caught off guard by his action but you already knew all of them were touch-deprived and or just wanted to be next to you all the time.

“What’s the matter?” You asked, letting him embrace you in his warm arms from behind. “When I saw Childe hugging you I just.. felt something weird. I wanted to, lord forbid, push him and take his place.”

His words caught you off guard causing you to laugh abruptly and drop the utensils in the sink, a loud "CLUNK!" could be heard. "Oh whoops.. any who uh- Neuvillette are you.." you turn around and raise your brow, smirking up at him.

"Am I what?"

"Are you jealous~" your teasing voice made his heart skip a beat, his eyes focused on you, brows furrowing. "Me? Jealous? I don't know what you mean." Neuvillette sighed, his grip on your waist tightened.

You eyed him and slowly nodded your head. "Mhm.. sure.." Neuvillette peeks his head to the side and spots the utensils still unwashed. "Would you like me to clean the rest? You could go rest and bond with the rest."

Turning your head back around to look at the utensils that laid in the sink. You hummed for a few seconds before responding—"why don't we both clean them? You wanted to be with me right?"

Neuvillette nods his head, offering you a smile. You two began to wash the dishes together with Neuvillette standing beside you, after a few minutes all the dishes were on the dish rack, water dripping off down into the sink.

"All done! Now let's go join the others" you excitedly hummed, grabbing a hold of Neuvillette's arm and walking over to where the rest were.

Kazuha smiled and waved his hand at the both of you, once spotting you with Neuvillette. "You're back! What do you want to do now?"

You sit down on the end of the couch and sighed. "I'm not sure.. I do need to clean my house though, its been a while since I last cleaned it." ever since the men appeared in your room your house has.. sort of been trashed.

Not entirely trashed (Thoma, Kazuha, Diluc, Tighnari and Al-haitham kept the house clean) but still, you really needed to do a deep clean—ever since you've bought a house it really has been a hassle to keep everything in place as you were still in college and had to multi-task.

The mention of cleaning your house definenetly perked some heads up. "Cleaning? I can help!" Thoma offers, eyes shining with excitement (yes he loves cleaning and cooking and everything domestic, he IS the male wife).

"Me too!" "me three, I can help as well!" others chimed in as well, Childe stood up and raised his hand. "I will be the biggest help, don't worry Y/n! What's the biggest job I can do?"

Everybody groaned at the ginger's words and shook their heads in disappointment. Giving his words a thought, you hummed and put on your thinking face.

"Hm.. well I would say cleaning every single crevice you know.. the nook and crannies." you replied, smiling at Childe. He immediately grabbed a duster and set off to clean single crevice.

"I'll wipe the surfaces and all." Al-haitham states, getting up and grabbing some wipes before doing his thing.

"I'll organize your clothes Y/n! Oh and ours too"

"I'll go mop the floors."

Soon, you pretty much gave everybody a role to do (or they just gave themselves the role) and they all set off to do their jobs. Honestly, this had to be one of the best days ever—your house was going to be squeaky clean and plus you get to see them doing domestic chores.

"If you guys need any help just ask me okay?" you mentioned, dusting the books on a shelf. A collective "yes ma'am!" could be heard. They were so respectful it made you fold.

After what felt like hours of cleaning (it was, approximately 4 hours of cleaning) you flopped down on the couch along with a few others and heaved a great sight.

"Good job everybody!! the house looks so much cleaner now..." you sighed, chest heaving up and down. You were all tired, apart from Thoma, Tighnari, Al-haitham and Albedo, they still had energy left.

As you got up from the couch to fetch a glass of cold water, you got a fright from seeing Gorou sitting at your feet, looking up at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"Gorou? What's wrong?" you asked, your heart melting at the sight of his ears pressing flat against his head. Gorou stared up at you—his eyes glistening.

He inches closer to you, his arms wrapping around your legs. "What. Is. He. Doing." Childe whispered to Pantalone, eyeing Gorou with... some disgust. Pantalone shrugs. "Lord knows what."

"Uhm, If I may ask Y/n.. Do you think I did a good job today? For uh.. cleaning the house."

Your brows furrowed in confusion as he asked the question. What does that even have to do with anything.. "Yes, you have, why?" you questioned, watching Gorou lower his gaze to the floor.

Everybody watches as the scene unfolds, they were confused, scared, worried, but more so confused.

"Could I get a head-pat?" Gorou asked quietly, his eyes still focused on the floor, his head lowered as if to invite you to pat your head. Was he asking for a head-pat (some kind of reward) for his hard work?

Nodding your head, you began to pat his head softly, enjoying how soft his hair was, your hands would occasionally caress his ears and my god were they super soft!! Heat rushed to Gorou's cheeks as he realized you had no intention of stopping. Not that he was complaining.

"Gorou.. did you know your hair is very soft? Like, unbelievably soft! I could touch it all day if I could.." you exclaimed, if Gorou allowed you, you would definenetly be running your fingers through his hair furiously because it was just way too soft.

You wondered if the other's hair were soft too, I mean, all of theirs's looks soft, Neuvillette and Ayato's looked soft and silky. You should go look for an excuse to touch their hair soon..

As everybody watched Gorou enjoy his head-pats, they all eyed him with jealousy (if you look closely you can clearly see fume coming out of their ears right now), wishing that they were in his position—receiving head-pats from you, what a dream. And they were sure to make it come true.

"Ahem, dearest Y/n, don't you think that I too, did a fantastic job in scrubbing the shower too?" Kaeya sighs dramatically, sliding down and sitting next to you, batting his pretty eyelashes at you.

You turned to face him, pursuing your lips. "Well.. I mean.. yeeeessss..?"

It was a bit confusing after that, Kaeya asked for you to pat his head as well, saying that he "deserved it" (which he did) but then after that the others started to ask for some head-pats too. So in the end you had to give everybody a head-pat, it was very time consuming.

Soon, it was 1 pm—it was time for lunch. Time has gone by so fast with them, you (unfortunately) stop petting Al-haitham's hair and stand up from the couch.

"I'll go make some lunch now okay? Something simple like maybe a sandwich or something, is anyone hungry?"

While a few replied with "I'm hungry" some replied saying that they weren't hungry and would eat a snack of some sort. You began to grab out the ingredients to make a simple grilled cheese sandwich.

You made sure that the men weren't allergic to anything beforehand, you would definenetly not be having beans around Itto at all, while you were busy making everybody sandwiches, Zhongli sat on the chair behind the kitchen counter, watching your every move.

It was sort of uncomfortable, yes, but you didn't really mind at all. You were used to their curious stares after all.

"Zhongli, would you like to be the first one to try it out? I want to see if I need to add anything or fix anything up."

This wasn't your first time making sandwiches but still, you were positive they weren't used to your (earth) sandwiches so why not make Zhongli your taste-tester?

Zhongli nods his head, giving you a warm smile in the process and god was he so handsome. "Of course, It would be an honor to be the first to taste your sandwich." and with that you placed the plate – with the grilled cheese sandwich on it – on the counter, waiting for Zhongli to take his first bite and his opinions on it.

As Zhongli grabs the sandwich and takes the first bite, munching on it. You weren't nervous at all, watching him eat your sandwich. Okay that was a lie you were totally nervous. I mean making a grilled cheese sandwich? Nothing big! But the fact that Zhongli, a handsome, fine, fancy man is sitting right across from you and eating your sandwich is!!!

Studying his face got you nowhere. His face was as always, nonchalant and somewhat still, after swallowing, he looked up and set his gaze on your face.

"It's... amazing! I've never had anything like this before, a simple grilled cheese sandwich I've had but to have it made from you and in your household, in your world, makes it all the better. The taste is also immaculate, truly other worldly. Quite literally."

You crack a smile at his joke at the end and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god.. so it's okay, thanks Zhongli!" you thanked him before going back to making some more before finally setting them all down on the kitchen table, counter, and coffee tables (and some other places as well since those all of them can't fit in three spots).

Tighnari had noticed that you had a couple of plants in your home, they were.. not in the best condition, he had to say. But that was no problem! He could help you raise and take care of them.

"Say, Y/n. Please do not take any offense to this whatsoever but do you take care of your plants?"

The question was out of the blue, yes, and it did catch you off-guard for sure. "Oh- uh, my plants? Well the truth is I haven't really been taking care of them.. I mean I would love to but I'm very forgetful." You explained while smiling sheepishly, it was embarrassing after all.

Tighnari nods at your response and offers you help to which you obviously agree to! I mean who wouldn't? He would take care and nurture your dying plants? Deal!

Everybody began to eat lunch as for the ones who weren't hungry just lounged in your room, Al-haitham read a historical book that you haven't even finished reading (you only bought it because of you thought the cover was really vintage), Pierro stood in front of your window, staring out to the view of the skyscrapers and buildings. Albedo and Cyno were sitting on your bed in silence, waiting for you to finish eating and come back.

"What a total weirdo.." Cyno whispers to Albedo, eyeing the tall, old (and stinky, that's what they call him) fatui. Albedo simply glances at Pierro and looks back at Cyno, confused. "How so? I think it's totally normal to gaze out of the window, don't you think? I mean, the view is absolutely fantastic out there.. so many things we've never seen and don't you agree that the flowers that bloom down near the window looks absolutely-"

Cyno groaned as Albedo ranted on and on, what Albedo was trying to say was basically, staring out the window was "normal". But of course, he couldn't be rude about it so he had to painfully listen to Albedo spitting out nonsense.

Finally, you (along with others) finished your food and washed your dish before walking into your room, leaving everybody else who was still not done (Heizou, Kaveh and surprisingly, Tighnari, are slow eaters).

"You're done eating? What do you want to do now?" Pierro asked, his voice rumbling deeply that it gave Cyno a spook, it gave him the hibbie jibbies. Humming, you thought about your answer but concluded that you wanted to do nothing but sleep.

"Eh, not really. I do want to get a nap in though, I'm sort of tired." You yawned, flopping down onto your bed between Cyno and Albedo. "Would you want us to leave and let you sleep in peace or..?" Pierro asked once again, his face scanning yours.

You shake your head, covering your body in your sheets and curling into a ball. "I'm okay with you guys here don't worry. Pierro could you close the blinds please?"

Pierro nods and closes the blinds at your command, the room now dimly lit. Soon your heavy eyelids take over, but not before the sound of the door clicking open and then followed by Childe complaining about you leaving him.

The obvious sounds of groaning and complaints about Childe could be heard too (Itto was complaining REALLY loudly.), Cyno shushes everybody entering your room, pointing at your trying-to-fall-asleep figure.

"Ooooh, whoops! Sorry Y/n!" Childe apologizes, cringing at the thought of his loud voice waking you up. You could barely hear him though, drowsiness taking over your body and thoughts, nothing was left in your brain except for one thing—sleep.

Kaeya rolls his eyes at Childe before slowing and carefully closing the door shut. "It's only 2:30 pm, isn't sleeping in the afternoon bad or something?" Gorou asked, peeking his head from behind Itto to look at you.

Albedo hums. "Well, yes, but considering that they have been tiring themselves out since we've arrived, I think they deserve this well-deserved rest. Don't you agree?"

The surrounding men agreed, nodding their heads. "I agree, we should let Y/n sleep, I think I should too, without Y/n I'll be bored..." Kazuha yawns, already getting ready to take an afternoon nap with you.

After Kazuha laid down on the mattress, a few others started to mirror his actions. Itto, Ayato, Capitano, Thoma and Kaveh began to settle down on the mattresses while the others went to the other room to take a nap as well (some didn't want to so they stayed out of the rooms and watched the TV or played board games).

Normally when you sleep during the afternoon, you would wake up in the middle of the night, and oftentimes you fail to fall back asleep. And that is exactly what happened to you.

In the dimly lit room, darkness envelops every corner. The only source of light is the faint glow seeping through the curtains, painting the room in a hazy ambiance. You lie on your bed peacefully, your chest rising and falling rhythmically with each gentle breath you take in your sleep, the softness of the pillows cradling your head.

The darkness of the room seems to cocoon you and everybody, it is as if the night itself has woven a protective blanket around you all, the silence is broken only by the distant hum of the city, a lullaby that lulls you deeper into your peaceful slumber.

But soon, your eyelids flutter gently, and in the dark room, you can hazily make out the scene before you. Outside, the moon casted its soft glow through the window, casting delicate patterns on the bodies of the men and on the wall. It illuminates your face.

It was so comforting to you, the soft glow of the moonlight completing everything.

As you take in your surroundings you begin to understand that you were cuddling Kazuha while Ayato had his arms wrapped around you. Smiling softly, you snuggled in closer to Kazuha's chest—pressing your cheek against his warm and slowly rising chest.

And in this dimly lit room, you slumber on, oblivious to the world outside. The darkness embraced you like a mother's embrace, offering comfort, it is a place where dreams are born and nurtured, where the imagination takes flight and as the night deepens and silence engulfs the room, you continued to sleep peacefully, unaware of the outside world.

But then before you could fall asleep your eyes shot open, I have to work tomorrow. Groaning, you nuzzled your face more into Kazuha's chest, knowing the next day would be tiring.

note: IM SO SORRY FOR PROCRASTINATINGGGG i just got home a couple days ago and my jet lag is pretty bad and i have to work and all of that jazz!! thankfully i got myself together and finished it :)

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[tealvenetianmask]

Thoughts about Striker being a "supremacist:"

On the surface, he's sort of a social class activist/ Robin Hood archetype. I think he truly thinks of himself this way. But when Blitz calls him a supremacist, who's he a supremacist against exactly? It's imps. This guy hates imps (and also identifies as one, even though he's clearly some sort of hybrid, which is interesting).

Let me show you what I mean. The short version is that he's the self-hating minority bigot trope, and it's executed really well.

"Blue Bloods"

"Disgusting, rich, pompous goetia"

"Some of us have everything we care about taken away by fuckers like you."

"You don't get to talk over me. . . all you ever do is try to talk over us."

"Once I split your neck open and let you choke on your own blue blood, you won't be worth any more than the tomb stone you'll be buried under."

So . . . first, he doesn't actually say a lot that's solely about royals, and ALL of the quotes above are about how royals look down on people like him, NOT about any inherent flaws that they have. They're about class, not race, unless you count "blue blood" as race. I don't. It's tied directly to money. "Disgusting" comes up in reference to Blitz's relationship with Stolas, but the words "rich" and "pompous" follow immediately. Striker hates royals because he hates that society places them above him.

Imps

"Pathetic."

"You little things aint worth the cleanup."

"Oh I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of, little one."

"Blitz, come on. You know the two of us are superior to most of our kind."

"I still think it's embarrassing. You're wasting a lot of potential relying on a weak little . . ."

"Vermin"

I think that this is where Striker's worldview comes into clearer focus. He thinks that Moxxie and Millie (and by extension MOST imps) are inferior to him. The word "vermin" is particularly telling. There's something visceral about his disgust for "lesser" imps.

I think Striker worries that they reflect who he really is. I think he truly believes that imps are inferior to higher class demons, and he fears that if he doesn't prove himself to be special (through violent dominance), he's vermin himself.

Notice how in the image below, his edge over Moxxie is all about size and physical strength- the things he implies throughout the episode make him the superior being. Look at that wide smile. He loves the feeling of being superior.

Relationships between imps and royals

"You are so above sucking on a disgusting rich pompous goetia . . ."

"kill the unkillable . . . starting with the one that treats you like a plaything."

"Blitzy"

"You two are both embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue bloods to begin with. But at least loud mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of being a little purse dog."

"This worthless little pet reeks of his over bloated master. I'll at least enjoy getting rid of him."

Striker clearly sees these relationships as imps lowering themselves. It doesn't seem to occur to him even for a moment that these relationships might involve genuine care because he sees all interactions between social classes as being about power and "who wins."

Notice that despite in theory caring about the power dynamics, Striker puts most of his shaming language on the imps in the relationships, and uses demeaning language to do it- "embarrassments, purse dog, little pet," as if they're at fault (for being used, in his view . . .?) and should be ashamed.

I thought about delving more into why Striker sees Blitz as closer to his own level, and I think it comes down to the things he values (physical strength, willingness to kill, detachment/independence), which are not the things that we the audience end up liking the most about Blitz. He misses the point of what actually makes our boy great, basically. 😍

I've spent a lot of time reading and watching videos about real life white supremacists because I like to be miserable, and . . . yeah, this character really shares their view that some people are inferior to others, and that the traits that make them inferior are inherent and immutable. The people he hates just aren't the ones he'd have us believe he hates.

[anonymouscheeses]

Even more and more of obvious shit I point out because I want an excuse to rant while not interacting with actual people in real life who also like this show because I'm masking 😍💜💜

BARELY STARTED AND BRO. YOU JUST LET HER DO THAT TO YOU, ME PERSONALLY-

HE'S PETTING KEE-KEE I LOVE HIM SMM

HER HOOVES. I LOVE IT. NOT LIKE THAT, IM JUST A FURRY-

*grabs pen*

ANGRY CHARLIE FOR THE WIN. I LOVE WHEN THE HAPPY CHARACTER GETS ANGSTY (Cough. Luz. Cough).

The people writing fanfics where she gets FURIOUS. Omg. That was something I read. I LOVE MY FELLOW FANFIC WRITERS BUT OH MY- YALL REALLY HAD CHARLIE M A D.

"Uh-"

I love his reaction lmao look at his goofy face.

HER BOW BECAME HORNS (my "redesign" is now 100% worse)

SAD VAGGIE. THE BOW. DROOPY.

Oh and the angel dust fellow back there 🤯

I LOVE ROSIE SO MUCH HUH

Tall.

No explanation needed. <3

PLEASE HELP???

CUTIE PATOOTIE. I LOVE HER SM UGGHHH

CHARLIE HATES OLD PEOPLE COMFIRMED YAY 😍😍💅💅

Hot

That's it.

IN SYNC. I LOVE THIS SONG AND THE ENTIRE SCENE. WHY IS IT RANKED SO LOW WITH SOME OF YALL?? Okay well-

I thought this song was gonna be a Charlie and Vaggie duet- tbh I still preferred that BUT I LOVE CARMILLA SO I KINDA DONT CARE.

BUT I WAS ROBBED OF AN ACTUAL FULL CHAGGIE DUET (REPRISE DOESNT COUNT) IF H*SKERDUST GETS A FULL ONE WHY CAN'T CHAGGIE? *SOB* uhh anyway-

Is that. Like. How she thinks actually 😰

I know there's been a lot of the lack of Vaggie's self-worth, which I wish was explored into more. I just think the Vaggie(3rd) episode just wasn't needed at all if it didn't even have an impact. Don't get me started on that episode, it was rushed, too early to have character arcs already, and overall not needed or even should have existed periodt.

I hope they explore it next season because GOD this woman needs TO LOVE HERSELF. OR ATLEAST CARE ABOUT HERSELF LIKE????

SWEET MAMA PLEASE. TAKE ME IN YOUR WINGS AAAAAAAAA

Charlie, sharing is caring <3

Out of all the people I thought Charlie would vent to I didn't think it would be ROSIE. It's a nice surprise tho I love her <3

bisexuality.

That's it.

HE'S DANCING. ALASTOR IS DANCING. THEY ARE SLAYING BESTIES. THE MAN IS DANCING. HELP.

Season 2 is going to be Charlie in her villain era and Alastor's reputation era 😍

I LOVE VAGGIE'S FACE. PRECIOUS BABY UGHH... THEN THE WINGS REPLACE THE BOW AND DROOP UGGHH I HOPE IN SEASON 2 WE SEE MORE OF HER WINGS. OR CUT HER HAIR SHORT SO WE CAN HAVE IT ALL THE TIME. Also so Husk and Vaggie can bond over both having wings. Sorry I love their potential friendship so much. AND LUCIFER AND VAGGIE TOO!! BOTH BEING FALLEN ANGELS OMG. UGH THE POTENTIAL OF VAGGIE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH NOT JUST CHARLIE ARE SO GOOD AND I HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF SEEING HER AS AN ACTUALLY MORE FLESHED OUT CHARACTER. I AM SCREAMING AAAAAAAA.

I can't say how much I love them. It's too much. I cant- yay the teaser image before the show came out <3 they are so fucking adorable. UGH SOME1 END ME

Charlie loves the wings hehehe. Vaggie looks nervous about it. It's probably a reminder to her about when she used to be an exterminator. The healing from everything will take a long time but hopefully Charlie will be there for her the entire time. And vice versa

Ayo- 😰

CHARLIE. T H E PRECIOUS BABY.

Uh next one tomorrow cuz yeah 🤯