#I crunched so hard to get this done ahaha

[melontoyo]

🌸🗡🩸 preview of my illust for twitter @ inmyheartbook

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[crowberri]

Picking up a metaphorical pen after ages of not writing and wrote a short one shot based on this art by @skipppppy and inspired by this fic,, this idea is ang s t y and i live for the angst ehehe… It’s on AO3 but you can read the whole thing under :readmore: here too ((i don’t write a lot ahaha hopefully it doesn’t read janky as shit-

Lingering Malice

Summery: They say in legends, when zoruas were driven out of their homes and perished under the harsh environment of the Albaster Icelands, their souls linger with malice, seeking for vengeance.

Alternatively: Kamado’s done fucked up

!! CW: death, graphic depictions of violence

|| —— { I } —— ||

The snowstorm shows no sign of stopping.

She wanders through the snowfields, cold feet crunching on the snow below. The dark crimson sky looms over the icelands.

It’s not fair. I did everything I was supposed to. Why…

Each slowflake feels like knives slashing across her face. Her entire body aches, the cold bites, yet she walks, and walks, and walks.

Outsider, he said. Never one of them, he told her. Exiled, after risking her life time after time helping them. You are not to return until you find a way to fix the sky. She thought she had earned something through her hard labor. We do not welcome you. She was merely a tool. Disposable once they got everything they wanted out of her. They never saw her as family.

Her vision blur, the tears freeze immediately as they roll down her cheeks. She raises her arm with difficulty to wipe it off. Crying is not an option in this situation.

The wind howls louder and louder, pushing against her tired body. Walking becomes more and more difficult with every step, as if led was strapped onto her legs. Faint cries ring out from the pokeballs hanging off her waist, but she is too numb to hear anything other than her own uneven breath and heartbeat.

She feels her surroundings darken, something is attacking, but her body is too slow to react. A strong force strikes her from behind, she falls onto the snow with a thud. In the corner of her eyes, she sees floating figures, laughing and slowly approaching. Their faces morph into the townspeople as memories flash before her eyes.

We should’ve never let you in. The guards said firmly. How could you... Dagero shakes his head. Look at what you’ve caused. Choy looked down at her in disappointment. Trusting you in our team was a mistake. You don’t belong here. You are to leave. Get out.

Outsider!

Out…sider…!

out…

…

She forces herself up with her arms yet to no avail, her frostbitten limbs give in and she collapses once again. Her pokeballs shake, but she has no more strength to move. The storm is burying her as the ghosts of the icelands approach. She lays there, on the reddened snow, helplessly, hopelessly, holding onto her last breath.

Help me… Someone…

Ever so faintly, she hears one of their pokeballs burst open. The blurred silhouette of her partner spreading his wings comes into her sight, a loud hooting is the last thing she hears before everything turns to black.

|| —— { II } —— ||

The Snowstorm might go on for a little longer.

She wakes, with her mind barely conscious and memories blurred, everything is hazy as she tries to take in her surroundings. She doesn’t know how long she slept.

Something’s wrong. The cold of the snow and wind should hurt, yet it doesn’t. She should be dead falling asleep in a blizzard, yet she’s conscious. Her arms don't ache anymore as she supports herself up to a half sit. She feels… light.

Faint, hazy memories resurface.

As her senses slowly return to her, she opens her eyes properly. The faint smell of iron suddenly hits her nose, she turns to see her partner decidueye, hunching still over her own unmoving corpse, broken wings spread to protect her from harm, buried in a thin layer of snow. Red icicles hang off the feathers. Next to the bodies, she sees all of her pokeballs, all snapped open. Her head jolts up to see the surroundings tattered after an intense battle. The white snow tainted with red and black. Bloody remnants of wild pokemon and her partners scattered across the field.

She frantically gathers all the pokeballs in and rushes to each of her partners, one after the other, shaking off the thin layer of snow and pressing the button against their broken and frozen bodies, hoping they’d respond and return. Yet none did.

All six of them fended off hostile pokemon, hoard after hoard. They gave their lives to protect their unconscious human, but their efforts end in vain.

She slumps down onto the snow in front of their Decidueye, hugging his cold body. Her sobbing is drowned by the howling winds. All of the sadness, hatred and anger arise along with their memories of the exile, the betrayal and the pain she went through. Her emotions overtake her, change her. The barely conscious wisp grows into a resentful spirit full of malice. A shriek of anguish and grief echoes through the icelands.

|| —— { III } —— ||

Dawn breaks. The sky lights up. The snow reflects the color, painting the icelands in an eerie red.

Four figures travel across the snowfields, following Lord Ursaluna’s lead, their footsteps trailing behind them.

“This is absurd.” Kamado scoffs, his armor clinging with his movements.

“You sent a child into the wilderness, under an unstable circumstance like this, then forbade our clans to help.” Irida exclaims, “You practically sentenced her to death!”

“This child you speak of caused this disaster!”

“There is no proof of that.” Adaman says coldly.

“Then prove the opposite.” Kamado replies in an equally cold tone.

“She risked her life multiple times to help all of us, and this is how you repay her?!” Adaman yells, trying his best to suppress the urge to punch this man in the face.

“Then she—”

“Guys… forgive my rudeness, but I don’t think it’s the best idea to argue right now…” Rei intervenes, his red scarf trail in the wind behind him. “We came to find Akari, not to bicker in a blizzard.”

Kamado swallows the words on his tongue. The four of them walk on in silence.

Lord Ursaluna raises his head, he runs ahead and calls for the four to follow. He has found something. They hurry to him, arriving at what seems to be an empty spot on the fields.

“There’s nothing here, your Lord must have made a mistake.” Kamado turns around, about to walk away.

“His sense of smell is superb, there couldn’t have been a mistake.” Irida stops him.

“But does this mean…” Rei’s voice trembles, he doesn't finish his sentence, as he turns to see Ursaluna sit down in behind what he has unearthed from the snow. He winces and lowered his head in grief. There in front of him, Akari’s decidueye with his wings spread out over the girl, protecting her even in death. The remains of the rest of her party must be near.

Irida, Adaman and Rei rush up to them, holding onto the slim chance of their friend being alive still. But they are too late, she’s long gone. Kamado stands behind in silence, he’s shocked, even if he had thought of the possibility, he thought it’d fix the disaster. But it didn’t. The sky isn’t fixed, nothing is.

Suddenly, Lord Usaluna roars out, he seems to have sensed something and runs towards it. The leaders rush up, following the Noble as they vanish into the snowstorm.

Rei is about to follow, but hears something behind him. He turns around and sees a ghostly figure on top of his commander, clawing at him while he struggles to hold her off. With a powerful kick to her abdomen, she tumbles back and uses the momentum to flip back on her feet.

Rei recognizes the attacker, “Akari?” he calls out, but she doesn’t answer and merely looks at him briefly, before glaring at Kamado in the back, fixing her gaze on him.

She has changed. Her skin has turned white, along with her hair, red tips flow in the air not unlike one of a zorua. Dark tear marks frame her yellow, glowing eyes. Her hands grew sharp with claws. A pendant made from decidueyes feather hangs off her waist. Tattered clothes flatter in the wind.

No time is given for Kamado to send out his pokemon as she lunges towards her target once more.

|| —— { IV } —— ||

The snowstorm is about to end.

She rests a little ways away from the fields in a small cave, gently petting the zorua on her lap. Two more zoruas lie beside her. They found her in the fields and brought her here.

One of them yelps quietly, signaling her at something. She glances up and spots the group lead by Lord Ursaluna approaching the place where she collapsed. They’ve come before she’s gone to find them. She stands up and hops down the small cliff, the three zoruas follow suit. Their white fur hides them in the blizzard.

“The one in black armor, right?” One of them asks quietly. She nods in response. Her hand reaches for her pendant, stroking the feather.

“We’ll distract the Noble, lure him away.”

“And the rest we’ll leave to you.”

Her fists tighten, sharp nails dig into her palms, black blood trickles down her hand. She feels a light bump on her left hand, “Relax… We’re with you.”

She takes a deep breath. The Noble has shovelled the snow off her deceased partner. The three zoruas already went ahead, she circles from behind.

Hatred takes over, red is all she sees as she lurks closer and closer towards the man clad in armor. Her companions already lured three of them deeper into the storm. Her prey stands with only the boy.

She lunges, bringing the man onto the ground. He holds her claws off and kicks her. She tumbles back and rolls onto her feet. The boy said something, was it her name? She doesn’t remember. It doesn’t matter.

She dashes towards him once more, both claws striking. One slash connects, blood splashes onto the snow. Four bloody streaks now drawn over his face.

The boy sends out his pikachu, he surrounds himself with thunder waves and charges at her. She evades the paralyzing thunder with a roll to the side as her shadow extends, striking pikachu from below. Before he could react, the shadow sneaks behind him and strikes again, and again. The pikachu faints. The boy recalls him. He’s panicking.

She feels the ground shake as a snorlax is released from his pokeball. He charges at her, headbutting her with psychic energy covering him. She dodges to the side, but unable to evade the attack as the impact sends her rolling back in the snow.

The man is saying something to the boy. They seem to be arguing about something.

She staggers up, the snorlax looms over her. A few broken ribs, but what does that bother a ghost? The surroundings darken as she unleashes her bitter malice with an ear piercing shriek, targeting not the snorlax, but the man behind him.

The boy and the man are both caught off guard. With no time to avoid the attack, the malice surrounds the man and burns him with a freezing cold, he screams in agony, before passing out, falling into the snow. Ghostly energy lingers on his skin. The boy kneels down next to him, rummaging through his satchel in total panic.

A sharp whistle cuts through the storm, turquoise vines crack the air like whips, striking her from behind. She hisses and jolts around to see a familiar man in black, commanding his partner tangrowth with mastery like no one else. The Noble, along with the other two who left earlier stand behind him. He’s saying something to her…

Vines sneak behind her while she’s lost in thoughts and trap her in a tight grip. She struggles, the heavy feeling of drowsiness hits her as the tangrowth releases a full power sleep powder through her vines. Though her effort to keep awake, her eyes close as her body gives in. The vines loosen, she feels herself falling into someone's arms.

“…I’m sorry, Miss Akari.”

The snowstorm has ended

|| —— { Doodles & Notes } —— ||

Uncle Ingo to the rescue! (he later adopts Akari bc like, he’s probably the only person in Hisui who’d take in a zorua lol + they were close before she died. Ghost niece :))

The three zoruas are fine, Ingo found Ursaluna first and captured them before rushing to find Kamado almost getting killed aha-

Kamado lives, probably. I mean Akari, a 15 year old, can survive a bitter malice or two I’m sure he’s fine. Also shame on him for not wearing a helmet smh get slashed in the face ((he probably hates pkmn even more now tho hh-)) Ingo (and everyone else) scolds the shit out of him after he’s treated bc like, what the fuck do you mean you sent a kid to die???

Now everyone needs to figure out how to stop the gods from bitch fighting and destroying the region, possibly the entire world without Akari good fucking luck-

[crescent-yoon]

only in my lucid dreams

Part 3

★ Seojun's POV ★

all i could hear beneath my feet was the crunching of snow. it snowed heavily the previous night, making it difficult for me if i had chosen to ride my bike. i was finally coming back to this school after so long and i was nervous. nervous to see you outside of these dreams.

your eyes were just as i had seen them every night - dim yet warm and full of life - as you had set your eyes on me with that brightness that was only shown to me. your hair down and eyes full of wonder as always. when i saw you in these dreams, you had always looked as beautiful as ever. even if you were just simply wearing a pair of ripped jeans and an oversized hoodie. ever so rarely wearing something out of the ordinary for you.

even last night you had worn the clothes that seemed to give you the most comfort, while i had wanted so desperately to show you my uniform. the colors that should've been recognizable to both you and i, sparking your curiosity. sparking that wonder in your eyes.

"why are you wearing that?" you asked as curiosity had played on your face. "it's... a bit different from your usual attire, Seojun."

i couldn't help but to mentally adore how that expression made you look so.. cute.

"yes, well, my mom is a bit sick so my sister and i need to switch schools." i tilted my head to the side just a bit, hoping to give off the cockiest of smirks only for a mix of sincerity and playfulness to show in my expression. "why? are you happy that we're going to the same school, Y/n?"

"so happy i could have a heart attack right now from the overwhelming joy that i'm feeling right now?" you playfully rolled your eyes at me as i gave you a light shove in response, just as we had always done whenever we were enjoying each other's company.

"yeah, yeah. no need to go overboard." i laughed as i took your hand into my own. your hand was cold yet comforting at the same time. it had always been this way as i had kept my thoughts, wondering if you had seen me as a man. "besides, i used to attend this school but things got crazy in my life so i had to move away."

"makes sense, i suppose." everytime you always had little to say, but you never strayed away from me. you did zone out constantly and always made me wonder about the gears turning in your head.

"i know that it's a bit strange but.. do you see me as a man or just a figment of your imagination?" i had asked, truly curious. unfortunately for me, you were so zoned out that you hadn't heard a single word.

"earth to Y/n?" i playfully and softly tapped the bottom of your chin to gain your attention as i had always done. "clearly you weren't listening but i asked you if you-"

you disappeared as i was going to ask again and that had only meant that you had woken up. i was going to get ready for the day too when another dream had started.

i saw you in our school uniform, presumably on your way home after school. you were walking alone unsuspectingly when two huge men had grabbed ahold of you and tried to shove you into a dark looking van. i couldn't hear anything in this dream but one of the guys lips had read, "whether we have to threaten her or threaten you, your mother owes us money and we'll just keep hold of you until she finally pays up."

immediately without hesitation, i felt my feet running. of course i'd run to you. i had to save you. but just as i got close, the ringing of my alarm clock had sounded and i had to get ready for school, that dream set in my mind.

the sight, the feeling, the sounds. all of it felt unbelievably... real.

snapping out of my thoughts, i had walked past the snow covered trees towards the school gates. until i had seen... you. i'm glad that you were still okay which had only meant the event was something that would happen in the future, keeping this in mind, i would discreetly keep an eye on you. even as i remembered the dream before that.

the feel of your hand in mine, the racing of my heart, the curiosity on your face. every bit of it felt so surreal. why is it you, y/n? why do you keep appearing in my dreams like this? at first... at first i thought that you were only meant to be a figment of my imagination. someone that i had made up in spite of my loneliness.

but then the dreams had kept occurring and it all felt too real. especially when i had seen you in real life, in the real world. you hadn't noticed me as you had that zoned expression on your face, unaware that you had brushed my shoulder. that familiar warm, tingly sensation had been felt all over my body. it was really you. and i knew your weren't my imagination when i had heard you lost in thought mumbling the words of "who are you" and "why are we connected, han seojun?".

even now, you looked exactly like you did in my dreams. there was no way that this could all just be... an eery coincidence. but when our eyes met, i knew. i knew that we were connected somehow.

should i approach you? no, i'd look strange. should i pretend as if i had never seen you before? but i had seen you before, in person and in my dreams.

then i had noticed it.

i noticed that unlike me, you weren't wearing a winter coat, though the snow continued to gently land on your eyelashes and melt on your cheeks and nose, a slight shiver coming over your body.

those same warm eyes, they were filled with familiarity and they made me wonder. do you recognize me? you seemed to.

i was going to muster up the courage to approach you until a friend had dragged me away with the ring of the bell.

snapping out of my thoughts and out of the cold weather, i'd been dragged to 2b and there our gazes met again.

i don't know what you were doing but suddenly i had seen you put your hands to the temples of your forehead. at first i had thought you had gotten a headache until i realized. you were concentrating really hard on something. i realized that you're acting just as i did when i realized you were real, probably thinking you had some sort of super power and that thought was so funny that it had me holding back laughter.

"um.. are you okay, y/n?" Suho had asked you as Jugyeong felt your forehead to check your temperature. Their concern had made it even harder to hold back my laughter.

"ahaha, yes, well." you had looked down until you had turned around and saw me laughing.

"so weird." i shook my head, genuinely trying to stop laughing but you looked so much like a confused puppy that it was hard to stop. "what are you even doing, Y/n?"

"huh?" your head tilted in confusion. "how do you-"

i hadn't even realized that i had let your name slip from my mouth. of course i shouldn't have been able to know your name without ever truly meeting you, right? trying to find my way out of the situation, i had remembered that every student had to wear a plated name tag on their shirt.

"nametag." i pointed at the silver plated pin on your jacket. creating a quiet atmosphere before looking out into the hallway from the classroom window with a clearing of my throat.

suddenly i had felt a hard pinch on the back of my neck and it hurt badly. it was almost as if you were trying to make sure i was real. i wanted to ask you why you did that in a calm manner but it had hurt so bad that i had scolded you with a stern and slightly raised voice saying, "why? what do you want so bad that you have to pinch me on my neck like that?"

not realizing a had lowered the volume of our chattering classmates, their eyes all turned in our direction. you very quietly and quickly apologized as you headed back to your seat. i has realized that i had probably embarrassed you. i wanted to apologize but before i could, our teacher had walked in and began class. even with the teacher starting class, my eyes only lingered on you.

the day had been over with and as the students began piling out of the building, i noticed that the snowfall had gotten worse and thought about how you hadn't worn a jacket to school today. amongst all my thoughts, i had also remembered that dream. the one where you had been in danger and i don't think that i could've allowed you to walk home. especially because you had told me once in a dream that you had lived alone.

when you had began taking a step forward, i decided to stop you and had pulled you into my chest.

"Han Seojun?" you looked up in surprise at me, those sparkling eyes staring at me once again. "what's wrong?"

"i know it's a bit weird of me to request something of you when we just met but i need you to trust me." i frowned, taking off my jacket and wrapping it around you seeing as that i couldn't stand to see you cold, teeth slightly chattering. "don't go home today. i need you to come with me."

i didn't really expect you to go with me. after all, you only knew me inside of these dreams we shared. who were you to trust a stranger. but then i saw this determined nod you gave and i felt my heart racing as you had told me-

"i trust you"

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

[worldwidemochiguy]

Can you write BTS yandere reactions if you try to hurt them or even kill them to escape? Love your blog x 💜

ahaha thanks and here you go!! bc there’s seven of them and i wanted to do unique ones for each i kind of don’t stick exactly to the prompt, but i try to include at least one element of it in each thing, anyways i hope you like it 💞💞

Namjoon

“Really, Y/n?” Namjoon doesn’t even look up from the file he’s leafing through at his desk, despite the gun you’re pointing at his head. His tone is — as always — nonchalant, as if he’s almost disappointed in you for daring to challenge him. You feel regret curling its fingers into the back of your head, but you try to stay strong despite your trembling hands.

“Let me go.” You say, with a much weaker tone than you intended. He looks up this time, an eyebrow flicks upwards condescendingly.

“I have no intention of letting you go, Y/n. Does that mean you’re going to shoot me?” You whimper quietly, your finger loosening on the trigger guard. “I really thought you were more intelligent than that, but I guess you will have to be taught another lesson.”

Another lesson. Your mind flashes back to days spent alone, locked in a room so dark you couldn’t tell if it was night or day. Nothing around you, completely untethered and suffocated at the same time. No. Your muscles tense up and, without meaning to, you pull the trigger.

“No!” You scream, even as your finger tightens on the gun.

But the trigger has already been pulled. You squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to see the bullet exit the chamber, not wanting to the man who’s tormented you splattered against the wall.

You hear a quiet chuckle, and the gun is gently tugged out of your loose grip.

“Silly baby, did you really think I was going to leave a loaded gun where you could find it? No, this was a test, and you’ve failed, Y/n. It doesn’t matter, though, I’ll just have to give you another lesson.”

Jin

“Jagiya,” Jin’s hurt voice caused you to whip around immediately, without realising the half-full vial was still in your tight grip. “W-What are you pouring in the pot?”

When you had volunteered to make dinner that night for the both of you, Jin had been ecstatic, content that you had finally settled into your place as his loving, doting wife. Little did he know that you had hatched a plan to poison him and run away. You had never been a particularly violent person, but you were desperate to escape. You had realised by now that Jin was never going to willingly let you go.

“U-Uh,” You stuttered, glancing down at the vial in your hand, “…it’s seasoning.” His expression instantly showed his disbelief and he stalked over to you, yanking the poison out of your grip and crowding you against the kitchen counter with his intimidating broad frame.

“Jagiya, when I trust you with these things I expect you to be worthy of that trust, not betray me like some common slut!”

The sting of the slap is the first thing that registers before the side of your face goes numb. He hits you again, making your head jerk to the other side. Hot tears track down your inflamed cheeks, exacerbating the stinging. Jin grips your chin roughly, forcing you to look up and into his manic, crazed eyes.

“Listen to me very carefully, Jagiya. If you betray me like this again, you will be the one who ends up dying. But it will not be by a quick and painless poison, no, it will be long and agonising. Is that what you want, huh?”

Yoongi

You slam him against the wall, hard enough to make the pictures rattle.

“Talk to me!” You scream, and your voice breaks on the last syllable, no longer able to choke down the sobs. But Yoongi just stares at you, silent as he had been ever since he discovered your plan to escape.

You had booked the plane tickets, you were so close to freedom you could practically taste it. But, on the morning of your getaway, you woke up in a completely different location. Yoongi had moved the two of you to a secluded safehouse while you slept. When you ran out of the door, he hadn’t stopped you, and soon you realised why.

The warehouse was literally in the middle of nowhere. You ran around for miles, screaming for help until your throat was hoarse. There was no one there to hear you. Eventually, night fell and you stumbled back to the only shelter for miles around, to Yoongi. For a while you were terrified you couldn’t find it, and it was hours before you were back and safe, for a loose definition of the word.

Yoongi has given you what you wanted. You wanted to get out of that house Yoongi had imprisoned you in, and now you were far away from it. You desired freedom, and now you could roam for miles, untethered. You wished to never speak to Yoongi again, and since the morning of your relocation he had not breathed a word to you, despite how much you begged him to.

He was, as far as you knew, the only living soul in the vicinity, and having him not even acknowledge you, especially after having his devoted attention for so long, was tearing you apart. And you had started to resort to any means possible to get him to talk.

“Yoongi!” You yell, wrapping your hands around his throat and squeezing as tightly as you can. He doesn’t react beyond his face redening, and you can feel his pulse weaken beneath your fingertips. You could just kill him, right here, right now. There’s no one around to see it. And after all he’s done to you…

You let him go and he slumps against the wall, panting slightly. You raise a hand to brush away your tears, damp on your cheeks, but it’s useless. They’ll be replaced by fresh tracks soon enough.

“Please,” you beg, staring at his blank face, “Please just talk to me.”

His eyes meet yours for the first time in this new hellhole, and you realise what he wants.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. Just- please,” You bury your sobs in your hands, body shaking with the force of it. A pair of warm arms encircle you, helping your body to still and relax.

“It’s okay, baby, I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you, and you don’t have to worry anymore about your freedom, because I’ve taken us to a place where other people won’t even be able to touch us anymore. Do you feel better now, angel?”

Hoseok

“Y/n!” Hoseok bellows, and you feel that familiar helpless panic surge within you.

A man had approached you at your table when the two of you were at a restaurant while Hoseok was in the bathroom. You had immediately turned him down, telling him you were taken, and the man left disappointed. However, Hoseok saw the exchange and was convinced you were somehow cheating on him with that man. And now he was mad.

“Get back here!” He screams as you dart into the sitting room. You know running will only make it worse for yourself, but you can’t stop from trying to escape from him when he gets like this.

“Y/n! Stop this right now!” His enraged voice rattles through the walls and a second later, he bursts through the door. He sees you on the far side of the room, quivering in terror, and runs at you with his fist raised.

By pure instinct, you dodge his punch. Gaining awareness just in time to watch, horrified, as his knuckles crunch into the plaster. You think you can hear them break, and a second later, Hoseok has his hand clutched to his chest with a wail of agony.

“Oh no~” You whimper, immediately drawing close to him and reaching out to cradle his injured hand in your own. He hisses in pain and you look up to gauge his expression. It is full of discomfort, washing away all of his previous fury.

When you first started dating, it had been difficult to adjust to his constant mood swings, from loving boyfriend to violently jealous to depressed and insecure. Now, you were used to it enough to realise that you had to cherish moments like these when his anger had dissipated.

You lead him upstairs to the bathroom, whispering apologies whenever he made a noise of discomfort or pain. Soon, you have him sat on the edge of the bath as you dab a cotton bud of antiseptic onto his wounds. Three of the knuckles are broken, and all of them badly bruised. Your guilt is a heavy weight on your shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly as he hisses when you apply the badages.

“For what?” He snorts, despite the pain in his voice, “For talking to that guy, for causing me to get injured, or for wrapping my wounds too tightly?”

“I-I promise you, Hobi, I didn’t want to talk to him. He approached me but I immediately said I was taken, just like you told me to say. But I am sorry for the other things, Hobi. I’m really sorry.”

He sighs, then runs his uninjured hand through your hair, petting your head softly.

“I only do these things because I love you, Y/n. You’re the one that does this to me, and you make me suffer all the time. Are you going to be good now? And stop making me do all these crazy things for you, huh?”

Jimin

“Aww, baby, you’re so sweet!”

You pause, incredibly confused. When you told your possessive, ridiculously clingy boyfriend that you were leaving him, and had booked plane tickets to leave the country in order to avoid him, you hadn’t expected him to delightedly clap his hands together and coo.

“Jimin… d-did you hear what I just said?”

“Yes, of course I did, Princess! Oh, you’re so cute. I can’t believe you got us plane tickets to France to visit Disneyland Paris!”

“Uh, what?” Your brow furrows, “Jimin, that’s not- I got plane tickets for myself so that I could leave the country. Because of you. And these tickets aren’t even to Fran-“”

“Baby,” Jimin interupts, and you can see the danger on the edge of his loving expression. “I know you’re joking, but don’t upset me now. And getting fake tickets just to prank me is going a bit far.” He reaches out and deftly snatches your plane ticket out of your hand, before you can even react.

“I mean, who knows? You might even confuse these with the real tickets for our trip, so I’ll just-” He rips up the ticket. “-get rid of them for you.” He giggles. “You’re welcome, babe.”

You watch in shock as your freedom flutters in fragmented pieces to the floor. Months of waiting, saving up, planning, all wasted.

“Well?” Jimin prods, and you look back up at him. “Aren’t you gonna say thank you?”

You just stand there stock still for a moment, before all of that longing, and pain, and anger washes over you and, without even processing it, you’re slapping Jimin as hard as you physically can.

He gasps, and then runs out of the room before you can react. You pause for a second before running after him. You find him in the kitchen, stooped over the sink. When he hears your footsteps, he turns around and you see his lip is cut, blood streaming over his chin and down his neck.

You gasp, and running over to him and taking his face in your hands, all thoughts of escaping replaced with bitter guilt. You are so distracted with him that you don’t notice the discarded knife resting behind Jimin’s hand, fresh drops of blood gleaming on the side of the blade.

“Ah, you hurt me really bad, Princess. I can’t believe my perfect angel would do something like this to me. You’re sorry, right? Tell me you’re sorry. Tell me you love me, and I’ll feel better. Just tell me you love me and I won’t punish you, please?”

Taehyung

It has always been extremes with Taehyung. Either he was the most artistic, dorkiest, sweetest boyfriend in the world, or he could be violent, possessive to a ridiculous degree, and controlling over every aspect of your life.

You found yourself growing more frustrated each time he asks you about who your friends are, what they’re saying to you, when you’re talking to them. He doesn’t trust you, and whenever you confront him about it, he tells you that it’s because he loves you too much to lose you.

But that doesn’t make sense. You can’t have love without trust.

“Who is he?” Taehyung screams, and it’s midnight and you’ve had this conversation more times than you can count and you’re just so tired.

Your mom’s been calling, she hasn’t heard from you in a while thanks to Taehyung cutting you off from everyone you knew, including your family.

“It was my mom, asshole! I showed you the contact on my phone! It was my mom!” You spit back at him and he chuckles in fake amusement and you know you’re hurtling headfirst into dangerous territory but you just can’t stop yourself.

“Yeah? Well I don’t fucking believe you! Why won’t you let me call the number back, hmm? What are you trying to hide?”

“I just don’t want you calling my mom because you’re a creep and I don’t want you talking to her!”

He shoves you against the wall and your head swings back painfully. Before you can even register the pain, Taehyung’s lips are on yours, licking into your mouth harshly and biting so hard you taste blood.

It’s more of a fight for dominance than a kiss, and you’re determined not to lose this time.

You twist around and shove him against the wall, hard enough that his head makes a twin indent to yours, and you hope it gains him the same dizzying quality that’s leaking into your vision, so that you’re on more of an even playing field.

He smiles down at you lazily and you feel disgusted with yourself. What’s wrong with you? Deliberately exacerbating fights with your boyfriend just to chase the high of being fought over, the bittersweet pleasure of darkening bruises and words so painful they scream their way out. He smiles at you because you’re just like him, you enjoy the pain, and feel helplessly drawn to it. Maybe that’s why you just can’t leave him.

“Fuck, baby girl can give as good as she gets, is that it? You like a little bit of pain, huh? Well don’t worry baby, I’ll give it to you. Trust me.”

Jungkook

A snort is not the reaction you were hoping for, but it’s what you happens when you take a deep breath and point a dagger at Jungkook. The jewelled handle feels cold and heavy in your palm. It’s the dagger Jungkook keeps beneath his pillow each night in case of intruders, and judging my his little amused glance at it, he recognises his own weapon.

“So, what’s the plan, baby?” Jungkook asks you, remarkably calm for someone with a knife pointed at his chest. “You’re gonna stab me?” Absurdly, you nod when he asks you this. He laughs, then nods himself.

“Ok then, you’re just gonna commit a little murder then. Are you sure you’re capable of that?”

“…uh huh.” You reply dumbly. His eyes twinkle with mirth, and he continues his line of questioning.

“Alright then, you’ll murder me. I guess you’re not gonna clean up the body, considering you’re working alone?” He pauses for a response, and when he receives none he smiles to himself and keeps going.

“After that, where are you gonna go? What are you gonna do? After all, it’s not like you know anyone in this area.”

“That’s not true!” You pipe up, “My uncle Minyoung! He’s helping me leave.”

“Oh, your Uncle Minyoung.” Jungkook gasps in realisation and you nod again. “You mean this Uncle Minyoung?” Jungkook takes a Polaroid out of his pocket and hands it to you. You attempt to take it with your right hand, remember you’re holding a dagger, and take the photo with the other hand instead.

The photo shows a broken corpse, its head detached and pointed towards the camera. Jungkook is posing next to it, winking at you. Right next to him is your Uncle Minyoung’s severed head.

“Oh.” You say, and drop the photo. It flutters gently to the floor.

“Oh,” Jungkook echoes, “Well, what’re you going to do now? Your uncle had all the travel information, right?”

“Right.” You repeat distantly.

“So… how are you going to escape?”

“…I guess I can’t.” You realise, and the corners of his mouth curl into a smug smile.

During your conversation, Jungkook has moved closer and now stands directly in front of you, so close that the dagger is pressed against his chest. You watch as the pointed tip distorts the expensive fibres of his shirt. You wonder how much give they have before it tears.

Jungkook takes the dagger from you delicately, and then sweeps you up in his arms.

“Little baby, trying to escape from me? When will you realise that you will never be able to? You’re just so dumb! You’re lucky I’m here to look after you, or you really wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You’re so lucky to have me around.”

[shakespeareismydad]

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it 

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother 

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon 

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss* 

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy 

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe 

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to 

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is, 

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT 

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah 

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal 

-GO SAM 

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it 

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby 

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing 

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene 

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period. 

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch 

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time 

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in 

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome 

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart 

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good 

-jon is so pretty 

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch 

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook 

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

[normal-thoughts-official]

See I think the problem is sweden is just.. cold amshnsdhdj we can’t really grow spices here so throughout the times it’s just been salt and pepper (until we started importing spice from the colonies like we thought we were the brits lmao) but traditional swedish food is like??? Potatoes and meatballs with lingonberry jam and sometimes you make the sauce out of the fat you fried the meatballs in and it’s gross. I’ve never been to Germany actually but that restaurant sounds disgusting I’m so sorry what are they doingggg. THANKFULLy we have so much food imported from pretty much everywhere that most people’s favourite foods is almost always something that didn’t originate here. Like tacos!! It’s a staple in pretty much any household here, at least where I grew up, and one of my friends is obsessed with Indian food, specifically vindaloo which is so so spicy but so good. As for the cream cheese sushi, at the restaurant here they put it in the maki rolls with veggies and a piece of omelet, i cannot stress how good it is ahaha. I love food so much!!! I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything Brazilian specifically, but since we’re talking about it I’m really curious. If you have a specific dish or anything you think I should try let me know!! I’m gonna ask google but it’s always fun to get tips from someone who is living with the culture behind it and everything!! - salmon anon (salmnon? salmanon? Swenson? I actually wrote swenon but my phone corrected me so I’m leaving it skhdkshd)

aaaa okay so when it comes to brazilian food you gotta understand that there’s...... so much stuff. our cuisine is super varied and rich and there’s just... a lot. so it all depends on what strikes your fancy. but i have a few suggestions, although keep in mind that again, brazilian cuisine is varied and rich and it’s a big country, so i have the mos contact with food from my region (the southeast), although i’ve been to the northeast, north, and south as well

so the basis of culinary in most brazilian households is the rice + beans + farofa combo. farofa is basically cassava flour with spices, it is made to add Big Crunch to the meal. we eat that in every meal, except for breakfast. it’s kinda the foundation/pillar of the plate. i do recommend trying it, absolutely. the most likely version of that for you to find is feijoada, which is a little stereotypical as far as brazilian dishes go, but i doubt you’d find regular rice beans and farofa around in a small town in sweden. in feijoada the beans come with pork parts, and it’s black beans, not regular beans. it is also traditionally served with kale and orange slices. it’s really good, personally i love it

[image ID: a plate with kale, rice, farofa (which is sandy-colored and has a grainy consistency), orange slices, and feijoada. end ID] 

another great dish worth a try is moqueca. moqueca is (usually) fish/shrimp, coconut milk, dendê oil, bell peppers, and other spices. it takes cilantro so if you are a little bitch, i mean, if you don’t like it, you might skip that one. it is also usually served with farofa or pirão, which is essentially farofa but moist 

[image ID: a pot of moqueca. it looks soup-like and has very vibrant colors, particularly red, yellow, ad green. you can see pieces of bell pepper and chopped cilantro in it. end ID]

i do recommend trying anything palm-heart related if you haven’t. palm heart pies are one of my favorite things. and okay i know that you probably won’t be able to find this but i doubt you’ll be able to find most things i’m talking about so i’m just gonna dream big here: catupiry is this kind of brazilian... cream cheese, except it’s creamier and tastier and just superior in general. we love putting it on shit, and when it comes to stuffing, palm heart + catupiry or chicken + catupiry are my favorites

i also love bobó de palmito na moranga, which is essentially palm heart inside very creamy squash. the most common version actually takes shrimp instead of palm heart, but i don’t like shrimp and they’re not super accessible in my city anyway lol

[image ID: a carved pumpkin with shrimp swimming in a creamy mixture of squash, coconut milk, and catupiry inside. end ID]

escondidinho is another great dish. it means “little hidden one” in portuguese and it is cassava puree with dried meat inside, gratinated. there’s also a version with mashed potatoes, ground beef, and tomato sauce, but cassava is better. honestly just go for anything cassava. it’s the basis of native brazilian culinary and it’s fucking delicious. fried cassava, roasted cassava, cassava puree.... if you’ve never had them, they’re like potatoes, but better in every way. and don’t get me wrong, cuz i love potatoes

anything from the state of minas gerais FUCKS and is highly recommendable. tutu de feijão might look bad for a gringo but i promise it’s worth a try. feijão tropeiro is amazing, and chicken with okra is one of my fave brazilian dishes. it’s also easy to make so you can make it at home, even. just don’t forego the rice beans and farofa. my eastern european friend had never seen okra so if you look it up, no, that is not pepper. it’s not spicy. seriously i know yall are afraid of everything but it’s not

as for snacks! one of the greatest institutions in brazil is coxinha. coxinha is a potato-based batter stuffed with chicken (and usually catupiry as well although coxinha without catupiry is also commonly found) and deep fried. you cannot have a kids party and not serve it, it is absolutely essential. but it is also eaten as a regular snack commonly. it is super good, everyone loves it, and i highly recommend

[image ID: a plate of coxinhas. they are round-ish thingies with a “beak” on top, making it look almost like a pyramid. they are orange-golden in color and have a distinctly deep fried texture. end ID]

another great institution is pão de queijo, which i’ll admit i’m not a fan of because i don’t like cheese (catupiry doesn’t count) but i can’t just forego mentioning it. it takes polvilho, which is tapioca (which is a derivation of cassava, i’ll get there in a minute) flour, with cheese, basically. it gets a fluffy consistency that is hard to describe and that many people love. it is most traditional in the state of minas gerais, but you can find it all over brazil and also in other places in south america although recipes vary

[image ID: a bowl of pão de queijo. they are small, round, and white-ish. they have a very thin hard-looking layer on the exterior, but it also has cracks that make you able to see that the inside is fluffy. end ID]

tapioca! you might have heard of tapioca as the bubbles in bubble tea are made of it. it is a kind of cassava flour, but it’s very different from the cassava flour used to make farofa. it is white in color. you just put that motherfucker in a frying pan (no oil needed) and the grains stick to each other, making a sort of... taco-like thing? it doesn’t taste like a taco but it looks slightly like one. then you just stuff it with Whatever You Want. can be savory or sweet, personally i prefer savory but the "classic” one is coconut and condensed milk. another good stuffing to try is what we call romeu e julieta (literally “romeo and juliet”), which is a cheese that we know as queijo minas, but if you have contact with mexican food you might know as queso fresco, and guava paste. i know it sounds weird which is why it has the name as these two things are not supposed to be together but they go WELL together. romeu e julieta is a common dessert and the basis for thousands and thousands of other recipes in brazil

[image ID: a plate with tapioca. it has the form of a taco, but the “batter” is thinner and white. the inside is coconut and condensed milk. end ID]

speaking of tapioca, DADINHO DE TAPIOCA (tapioca dice) is where shit’s at. it is tapioca flour with cheese rolled into a dice format and fried, served with pepper jam, altho you can forego it, but i DO recommend trying it with the pepper jam. it is not super spicy and so so very good. don’t waste an opportunity to try it

[image ID: dadinhos de tapioca. they are small cubic snacks with a golden color and granulated-looking texture. there is also a little bowl with pepper jam in it. end ID]

and an ESSENTIAL brazilian institution: pastel and caldo de cana. pastel is a flour-based batter with a bit of cachaça (sugarcane liquor) stuffed with Whatever You Want (most common tho are ground beef, and cheese. but personally i’m always a slut for palm heart and there’s a local pizza place near my home that also makes pastel with whatever flavor you could possibly want and broccoli with catupiry pastel? PEAK) and deep fried. it is kinda big for a snack but bro it is so very good. and then we usually have it with caldo de cana, which is sugarcane juice. now, caldo de cana is very sweet, so personally i like to put a little bit of lemon in it, which is how we usually make it in the state of São Paulo, but other states lowkey look down on that (brazilians as a whole have a sweet tooth, many of our desserts are Really Sweet) but they are wrong and we are right. anyway, pastel and caldo de cana are usually served at street markets, so once you are done with your groceries, you can sit down and enjoy some. highly recommended altho again i’ll be surprised if you can find any in sweden. but pastel is not hard to make! caldo de cana is tho, you have to have kind of a machine to extract the juice from it

[image ID: pastel and caldo de cana. pastel is a long, golden-colored, thin rectangle with, in this case, cheese inside. caldo de cana is of a brownish-green with a regular juice consistency. end ID]

onto desserts! an all-time brazilian favorite is brigadeiro. that is condensed milk, butter, and cocoa with chocolate sprinkles, essentially. i recommend using dark chocolate as it is otherwise really sweet but it depends on your tastes. do try it tho

[image ID: brigadeiros. they are little balls completely covered in chocolate sprinkles, each places in a smal paper holder. end ID]

romeu in julieta as i already mentioned is very popular and seriously, give it a try

if you’re into sweet stuff, try rapadura, which is our version of piloncillo. it is like 90% sugar tho so seriously, you gotta like sweets

pé de moleque, which literally translates to “boy’s foot”, is rapadura and roasted peanuts, and it’s one of my all time favorite desserts

[image ID: a plate of pé de moleque. they are thick rectangles with almost entire roasted peanuts parts stuck together by a rich brown sort of batter - rapadura. end ID]

paçoca is also grounded peanuts with a little bit of salt and sugar, usually coming in a cork format. they are absolutely amazing and i can’t recommend them enough

[image ID: paçoca. it literally just looks like a small cork, even the color is similar. looks like something totally underwhelming but i promise you it’s so so very good and worth a try. end ID]

and okay i think that’s what i have!! at least off the top of my head (yeah that’s just what i came up with off the top of my head. like i said. brazilian cuisine is RICH) sorry for the gigantic answer that is probably not very helpful, but welp, now you know what to look for, at least lol also if you’ve followed me for over a year you should have known i would do this. BITCH I’M LATINO FOOD MATTERS TO ME

[qqueenofhades]

So dare I ask what the nightmare in detail is regarding Brexit right now?

@tollers-and-jack said: I’m asking for the rant…

@rhymeswithtessa said: I’m a big fan of your rants gimme your thoughts on brexit

@onlymorelove said: Ahem. I am interested in your rant. If you feel like sharing. 💗

Ahaha wow. Apparently this is something the people really want to hear about. Disclaimer, just remember that you asked for this, and that this is, as Captain Holt would say, a trigger for me. So if this periodically devolves into incoherent screaming/application of capital letters and exclamation marks, and what have you, just know that.

So… I wrote these posts soon after Brexit in 2016 explaining what a spectacularly stupid idea it was even then. If I said anything optimistic in those posts, in a sort of grasping-at-straws-maybe-this-will-work sort of flailing way, please disregard it. We have had empirical evidence of how this played out. Spoiler alert: it failed. It failed so comprehensively on every possible level that it seems almost ludicrous for a supposedly modern political system, but this is 2019, the world is dogshit, and we are all retreating into our little late-capitalism xenophobia bubbles with our right-wing strongmen and our populist rhetoric and the UK is now a global laughingstock. Which believe me, the ex-British Empire richly deserves, especially given the part that anti-immigration paranoia played in this whole debacle, but also, I live here and really would Rather Not.

I do not even know how to sum up the ridiculousness of the past few months, where – almost at the end of the two-year period of triggering Article 50, with just a very short amount of time to the original exit date (29 March 2019) – the UK finally managed to secure a withdrawal deal. Mind you, it was a shit deal that both sides hated, but by golly, It Made Brexit Happen, and since the Theresa May-bot has only been able to repeat over and over that she will Make Brexit Happen, there you have it. Not surprisingly, it proceeded to be comprehensively defeated in Parliament by the largest majority ever seen since World War II. It then was subject to surface-level makeovers and cosmetic tinkering about the backstop in Northern Ireland (since among many other things, the ardent Brexiteers forget that oh yeah we share a land border with an EU country and peace in Ireland is kind of a thing that should be paid attention to). The DUP (Democratic Unionist Party) of Northern Ireland, whose 10 MPs prop up the minority Tory government, absolutely hated it and would not support it, since it would effectively introduce different regulations for NI than the rest of the UK and thus jeopardise the, you know, United Kingdom. Plus it would require the EU’s assent to end the arrangement, and also we can’t have that. Because reasons.

The deal was then thumpingly defeated for a second time, people got worried because uhhhh aren’t we supposed to leave the EU in like a week, Parliament had to institute emergency measures and hold a series of votes on Brexit alternatives, those also got defeated and May would not even commit to honouring the will of the House, 6 million people signed a petition asking for Article 50 to be revoked and the Brexit process cancelled (the biggest in parliamentary history) and got ignored. Meanwhile, Nigel Farage led a pathetic procession of 200 diehard Leavers against literally 1 million people in London calling for a new referendum, the deal got defeated for a third time after they had to do all kinds of fancy-dancing to get it back for yet another vote, they got the EU to agree to a crunch extension to 12 April, and now that that is three days away with absolutely no consensus in sight, have sent May back to Europe to beg Angela Merkel and Emmanuel Macron to extend the deadline to 30 June. They actually had to pass a bill (by one vote) forcing her to do this in order to avoid a no-deal Brexit. The EU is justifiably exasperated with this utter, unbelievable incompetence, the fact that the hard right wing of the Tory party pulled this absurdly irresponsible jackshit without any clue how to do it, and the way the UK still thinks it can just pick an a la carte deal where we’re great and the EU sucks and blue passports and blah blah Great Britain is Great!!! And there has been absolutely no collective awareness from either major party that maybe, just maybe, trying to undo a legal and political and cultural alignment that has existed since at least 1973 when we were a founding member of this project, in two years, with no idea how, to please a xenophobic lying campaign, WAS A STUPID FUCKING GODDAMN IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!

(we pause while the blogger breathes and drinks heavily)

Anyway, that is the short version of Nobody Still Knows What The Fuck Is Going to Happen. Technically if we stayed in the bloc past 22 May, we’d have to hold elections to the European Parliament, which bitch bitch whine whine, the Brexiteers don’t want to do. Maybe we think we’re entitled to more special treatment (no scratch that, we definitely do) because we can’t sort our heads from our asses and have been so wildly and bogglingly arrogant and incompetent that it would almost be funny if people’s lives and livelihoods and futures weren’t at stake. And we have the goddamn European Research Group (aka the hard Brexit wing) yapping about how no deal wouldn’t be that bad and we should just take it on the chin because Blah Blah Blitz Spirit, Nationalism Patriotism Our Freedom From The Tyrannical EU. (Sidenote, if someone just punches Jacob Rees-Mogg in the elitist Little Britain face, you don’t know where I was, God I hate him so much.) Every single business, manufacturer, industry, finance, medicine, food, education, you name it outfit has been warning that no, actually, no deal would be catastrophic and the UK is not remotely prepared for it. To the point we have the military on standby to deliver basic goods if it happens??! How. How is this acceptable??!?!? I don’t understand??!?!

(And the Brexiteers who are like “this is Britain let’s all just hunt hares and grow food in our back gardens,” which, yes, is something I heard actually said, are out of touch to a truly stupendous degree. Yes I’m sure that a modern first-world country wants to resort to subsistence farming to feed its 66 million people. Do they. Even. Hear Themselves. Racism is a hell of a drug, my friends! And if you want to be like “oh no it’s not about racism/anti-immigrant sentiment, it’s about the economy,” let’s just say that the newsreader covering a Brexit march said that he’d never seen so many white people in one place and was forced to apologize, because racist white people don’t like it being pointed out to them that they are racist white people. That tells you a lot. And the Leave campaign has been convicted multiple times for breaking electoral law and just flat-out Lying to the public, so the people who voted Leave thinking they were in fact getting a better economic deal were deceived outright and have indeed often expressed regret that they were so wildly and deliberately deluded. So anyway. Fun!)

I cannot emphasise enough the sheer, staggering arrogance and delusion of the people who proposed this project and then forced it through, because the British public has believed throughout its entire history that it’s better than the whole world (see again: imperial nostalgia and Oh No The Foreigners Are Coming and etc) and has been fed for a good 25 years on this point on a lot of bullshit stories about how terrible and Liberal and Anti-British the EU is, because the British popular press is a flaming dumpster fire (you think Fox News is bad, and it is, but so many of the tabloids are basically Fox News UK). So the Brits feel as if they’ve been so unfairly repressed by the EU and need to Take Back Control (once again, there is a very long history of this  rhetoric of the English being supposedly attacked and repressed by foreigners, dating back to the idea of the “Norman Yoke” resulting from the Conquest, which became a big deal in the 19th century – I am a historian, I can pull receipts for days on this). Once again, they think they can just do whatever they want, the EU is the bad guy for not giving it to them, that we should set ourselves on fire and jump out the window rather than sit at the table like grownups with the rest of Europe, and just take our ball and go home and yet still think we are entitled to preferential treatment.

I just…. I don’t even. I DO NOT EVEN. I seriously lack the words. 

So we may get another rolling series of short-term extensions, we may not, nobody can come to any agreement on what should be done, May promised to resign to get the deal through, the deal did not get through, the whole setup is so unsustainable that it feels like a general election is an inevitability, and the obvious solution would be another referendum to see if the people even still goddamn want this. But the Brexiteers, for all they bluster about upholding the will of the people to leave, resist this with all their might (what are you fucking afraid of? If you’re so confident that you’re still the majority, you should WANT another referendum to confirm it, but you’re cowards and you know you’d lose and you’re tied to this stick of dynamite for Ideology Reasons, god damn it). The message has been always that We Must Deliver Brexit and This Is What The People Want, while the people are breaking records saying that no, actually, we’d like another say, because everyone has now seen that this is an absurd shitshow that cannot be accomplished (and ONCE AGAIN WAS NEVER! FEASIBLE! IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE!!!!) and it hey, actually was not a bad idea to be in the EU. 

This is again, the alignment of the entire post-WWII political and legal world. It confers countless benefits, freedom from tariffs, the single market, a customs union, visa-free travel, no roaming charges, the right to live and work in 27 other countries, etc. But because the ex-British Empire (which really wishes it was still the British Empire) has its fragile racist panties in a bunch about other people coming to live here (when as ever, the problem isn’t immigrants, it’s austerity budgets and the Tories absolutely gutting government and NHS funding and social programmes and thinking that the solution to knife crime is to punish teachers for not noticing their students getting into it), they have decided this is actually the best course of action. Because we don’t want those Non British People telling us what to do. Ew gross.

As people have said, it’s like trading a gourmet three course meal for a bag of crisps and feeling self-satisfied about it, because boy we sure showed them. It has been bungled to a degree truly stupefying to everyone who isn’t a marching Brexiteer ideologue, Labour have…. really not inspired any confidence whatsoever that they’d be able to handle it better (since they have wildly see-sawed between what they will and won’t support, if they’d revoke Article 50 or support a new people’s vote or so on) and the Prime Minister has failed on an utterly fundamental degree to build cross-party consensus or engage with other European leaders or display any ability to consider alternatives. The Tories have truly felt that they can ram this through without any reference to anyone or anything else, and fuck consequences, I guess. The British economy has already lost approximately £66 billion as a result of Brexit uncertainty and loses more every day, every major firm is moving its headquarters to somewhere they can take advantage of EU law, this will leave us poorer, more isolated, less secure, with fewer options, and generally a worse deal in every imaginable way, and yet, because again, racism and xenophobia is a hell of a drug, there are still some factions who feel like yes, this is absolutely what we should do. 

It is truly a slow motion car crash of nightmares, it’s completely avoidable and yet nobody has the backbone to do that, Parliament and the PM have completely broken down, nobody is listening to the British people for whom they are supposedly doing this, and once again, the British Empire absolutely 100% deserves this. But as someone who lives here and would actually kind of like to get a job here, Jesus Christ. Jesus. Christ. JESUS. CHRIST.

[annerly-san]

31 Days of Food Fantasy | Day 30

Day 30:  The year is almost over, take a free day to do what you want! 

A summary:     Tempura's master attendant typically has poor table manners and can't eat foods how they're supposed to be properly eaten. Thankfully, Spicy Gluten's caught on to this and to help them eat a shrimp tempura properly, she's going to teach them the proper way to eat tempura. And Tempura's there as reassurance that his food counterpart's being consumed properly.

“Oh!  Master Attendant!”  They were eating a bowl of udon noodles with a side of shrimp tempura in the dining room, accompanied by Spicy Gluten, when Tempura made his appearance.  He made his way over to them only to come to an abrupt halt midway and turning a bright pink.  “A-ahaha…  M-master A-attendant!”

“Mmm?  Waz it?”  They looked up to see an extremely red-faced Tempura simply standing there awkwardly and stammering nonsensically.  “Wdt you ike tha join meh?”

They had a piece of shrimp tempura in their mouth-- just stuck in their mouth, unchewed and simply hanging there.  It wiggled with the movements of their muffled words.

Spicy Gluten stared at the flushed-faced food soul in front of her and then at the dangling piece of tempura in her attendant’s mouth and then back to Tempura (the food soul).

So that was what it was.

A diabolic smile graced her curved lips.

“Why, of course he’d love to join us~!”  Spicy Gluten stood up and ushered the poor food soul over to the table.

“A-actually, I-”

“He’d love to help with your table manners, Attendant.”

“E-eh?!”  Tempura stared at the food soul in dismay.

“Master Attendant, you’re eating that tempura incorrectly,” she tsked at them and waved a finger about in a scolding motion.  The piece of tempura was still held between their lips as they tilted their head slightly towards the side in confusion.  “As personifications of our respective foods, some of us have personal issues when our food counterparts are consumed incorrectly.  Isn’t that right, Tempura?”

“T-that’s-” Tempura stammered, averting his eyes everywhere else except for at the piece of offending tempura held in his attendant’s mouth.

“See?  He’s just too shy to say it~!”

“W-wait!  T-that’s not-!”  He turned back to see his attendant gaze at him with watering eyes apologetically.  

“Swwy…”  The tempura wiggled.

Tempura’s mouth parted slightly to let out a scream, but his voice was caught in his throat and all that sounded out was something that was comparable to a goose being strangled.

“See?  The way you’re eating that...  It’s hurting him~.”  Spicy Gluten let out a series of ‘tsks’.  “Here, just hold it in your hand first.”

They grabbed the tail of the deep-fried shrimp between their thumb and pointer finger and looked towards Spicy Gluten for approval.

But she simply shook her head and corrected their grip on the shrimp.  “Like this,” she lectured as she moved her attendant’s hand further up the shrimp.  “Grab the full length in your palm and wrap your fingers around-.  Perfect!”  Spicy Gluten clapped her hands together in delight.  “But don’t look at me, look at him!”

Tempura met his attendant’s gaze and turned several shades more red.  He held a hand up to cover his mouth as averted his eyes in embarrassment.

“Aww~!  Tempura, you need to look at our attendant!  Can’t you see how hard they’re trying to please you?”

Tempura looked back at his attendant who looked a bit hurt with their downturned eyes.  They made a strange choking sound which made him want to scream and run out of the room.

“There you go~!  Now, Master Attendant-”

The tempura wiggled and stiffened a bit.

“You have to use your tongue to savor the taste”

“Mmnet dis?”  They ran their tongue over the tip of the tempura in their mouth, craning their head back a bit so that both of the food souls could see.

“Perfect~!”

Tempura didn’t know how long he had been sitting there watching his attendant trying to eat this piece of tempura according to Spicy Gluten’s directions.  Each time he tried to leave, Spicy Gluten would say something to get him to stay and his attendant’s sad expression made him sit back down.  And at this very point in time, he was rendered physically unable to leave.

A well-known catchphrase of his was, “You can only achieve the best flavors by passing through the hottest temperatures.”  It’s really gotten around to nip at him now.  He was unbearably hot and uncomfortable among other things.  His face was extremely flushed and he was beginning to sweat despite dressing in the manner he did.

Had he not been rendered absolutely incoherent and unable to speak, he would have definitely done something about this.  For sure.

But now he was just suffering at the wrath of both Spicy Gluten and his attendant who had no idea what was going on.

The tempura had gone hard now for sure.

“Pull it out slowly~.  Oh, and make sure Tempura’s seeing this.”  Spicy Gluten looked as though she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

The tempura that had been previously so far back in his attendant’s mouth that they were choking on it was pulled out to about midway in the cavern of their mouth.  His attendant was relentlessly making eye contact with him which only made things so much more worse.

“Okkk~!  Now bite!”

A loud, violent crunch resounded out as his attendant bit the tempura in two.

Tempura screamed in pain and toppled from his chair.   He saw the world spin and black out as he passed on into the world of unconsciousness.  Before he departed, he managed to hear the blurred laughing of Spicy Gluten and his attendant screaming something along the lines of, “TEMPURA!!! TEMPURA NO!!!  DID I DO THAT BAD?!?!  WAS IT THAT BAD?!?!”

[airmidtheawakened]

The Maine Event, Part 1

At last, my lovelies, we come to the exciting part of the story! Or the first really exciting part, anyway. I promise we’ve had more misadventures than just this one.

It started with a road trip. En let us borrow his car so we could drive to a sleepy little fishing town on the coast of Maine. He’d given us a job in order to testour new powers in the field. It was a simple mission: investigate a series of disappearances and determine whether or not they were magical in nature. Simple, right? We thought so. It’s not like we had to get to the very bottom of the problem and jury-rig a slap-dash magical solution with our underdeveloped powers or anything. Ahaha. Ha.

We spent five hours on the road, alternating between music and conversation and staring aimlessly at the highway before us. Lipsy slept through most of it. It was actually super adorable - he was leaning on Saki’s shoulder and drooling like a little kid. I should have taken pictures. But that’s not important. What is important is that, after five hours on the road, we made it to a tunnel fifteen or so minutes away from our destination.

SiSi was driving. It was just about noon, with the sun high in the cloudless sky. Imagine our surprise when we exited said tunnel and it was pitch-effing-black outside. It was like someone flipped the switch from day to night, except our clocks still read the same time. Even freakier was that Edgar wasn’t in the car anymore. Poor Lipsy was so worried! I looked around the car with my spirit sight, hoping he’d just like, turned back into a spirit or something, but there was no trace of him magical or otherwise. Heck, there weren’t ANY spirits around, in the car or outside of it. I was starting to feel like we weren’t in Kansas anymore.

Saki did whatever it is he does with his magical perception and determined that there hadn’t been any tomfoolery with the time stream, so it wasn’t like we’d jumped forward in the day at all. SiSi tried driving back through the tunnel to get us back into the daylight, but it didn’t work. We were still in the dark and Edgar was still missing.

We really didn’t have any choice but to continue on to our destination, but after a few minutes we came across an old 50s style diner. It was open and there were people there, so we decided to stop and do some investigating. Most of the other patrons were quiet, but the waitress was a nice enough old lady who confirmed that we were still in the right geographic location (which as a relief, I guess?). Oh, and they were all dead. Lipsy gave them a once-over with his death sight and every person except us sent off a ping on his radar.

So yeah, definitely not in Kansas anymore. We were in Twilight, actually. The realm of the restless dead. We had no clue how we (or our car) ended up there, but there we were all the same.

One of the other customers started convulsing in his seat. Now I know they were dead people already, but once you’re dead there’s not much else that could go wrong, right? A dead person can’t die *again,* and I was thinking they were kinda the same things as spirits. A kind of static existence, I guess? You are what you are and there’s no changing it. So to have this dead guy in obvious pain didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I went over to check on him. This was what I like to refer to as a Bad Plan™. Because when I did so the guy turned into a freakin’ zombie! And so did everyone else in the diner!

The obvious choice was to book it, which we did, but not before trying to give the suckers a good pounding. One of them tried to tackle Lipsy and got him in a vice grip, which was obviously not cool. So I did something super cool and tore that rotting sack of puss away from my cabal mate and flung him halfway across the diner. I think I left Lipsy at a loss for words. Not gonna lie, it was super satisfying. Both the flinging of the zombie and stunning Lipsy speechless.

Once we were all out of the diner SiSi started our car and floored it away from the diner. Other dead things were starting to rise from the ground around the diner. SiSi ran one over as we fled. I don’t even know how fast we were going. And, as if things couldn’t get any worse, the telltale red and blue flashes of a cop car appeared behind us. Daylight burst through the Twilight, shocking SiSi so much she almost ran off the road. She managed to slow down and pull over. It looked like we were back in the actual physical world. Which wasn’t as much of a relief as it could be because there we were, pulled over in rural New England with no licenses or identification of any kind.

In a flash of deceptive brilliance, I came up with a plan to fool the unsuspecting officers into thinking we were justified in our speed. I didn’t really have time to discuss it with SiSi first, as I was in the backseat and she was in the front, but she and Saki rolled with it like pros. I curled up in the seat, wrapped my hands around my stomach and started dragging my fingers across it. I focused on the veins of life energy pulsing through my body, visualized my fingers coiling up in them and tearing them to shreds. It only took a second When I was done I’d gone from looking like the Amazonian goddess I normally am to a sickly waif, pale and shivering and wracked with pain. Christ it hurt. While I wasn’t *actually* sick, I’d still forced my pattern into an unnaturally feeble state. It’s not a pleasant experience by any means.

Saki augmented my display by mentally projecting sympathy into the officers’ minds, so when they heard SiSi explain that she was speeding to get her sick friend to the hospital, they offered to lead us the rest of the way to town and sort out the speeding thing at the police station.  En route we came up with a plausible lie; I’d started to get sick, so we stopped at a rest area for a bit, but I was getting worse and worse but the minute. We left the rest area in such a hurry that SiSi forgot her purse and all her legal documents in the bathroom there.

By the time we got to town there were already paramedics waiting to take me to the local hospital, so I was whisked away while the rest of my cabal dealt with the police. Apparently things went well. The sheriff, a Ms. North, was very understanding and agreed to impound the car until SiSi was able to get a copy of her license and they could sort out the ticket situation. SiSi and Lipsy got everything out of the car and took care of updating En on our situation (the police let her use their phone) while Saki stayed with me in my room at the hospital. There was a newspaper there with information about the disappearances, so we read up on that. Apparently there had ben nine so far, and the most recent was a high school senior who’d gone missing while out at night with friends.  Lipsy and SiSi heard some talk over at the police station too. An older woman in town was going on about seeing strange figures walking around her house in the dark and the neighbors were complaining about her waving her shotgun about at all hours of the night.

Going back to me, the doctors concluded I had some sort of virus that, while not life threatening, warranted overnight observation. This was fine with me. Especially since my cabal was actually really concerned. It didn’t matter that I’d injured my own life force; I was still sick, and I’d done so for their benefit. I told them they didn’t need to feel bad (even if I really was enjoying the attention). The only one who wasn’t riding the sympathy train was Edgar, who’d apparently shown up at the police station not long after my cabal did.

Everyone stayed with me until visiting hours were over. We bonded over a mutual appreciation of some *very* attractive male members of the nursing staff. But eventually they had to leave. There was a cheap motel within walking distance, so my cabal set up camp there for the night. I wish they could have stayed though. I had one of the most vivid nightmares in my entire life.

I was strapped up and hanging from the ceiling in some sort of cold, dark cave. I couldn’t see much, but everything was clammy and damp and hellishly uncomfortable. I could hear a strange, wooden crunching sound. It was far away at first, but kept getting closer and closer. Eventually it was right behind me. I managed to spin my weight around and saw a woman with bleach pale hair and white coveralls. She had a wooden club thing (maybe a baseball bat? it was hard to tell in the dark) in her hands. She swung it hard at my knees, shattering the bone and splitting the skin. I screamed. I’d never felt pain like that before. My blood was starkly warm as it ran down the cold skin of my legs.

That’s when I woke up. I was shivering and covered in sweat. The clock said it was 4:30 am. I couldn’t fall back asleep no matter how hard I tried.

And that, lovelies, is where I’ll stop for now. That’s suspenseful enough, right? I’m trying to keep you on the edge of your seats here.

See you all next time!