#I did make this account to see my art progress SO ya know might as well post da wook

[rradical]

what the sangwook doing

[lovemybluebully]

Danger Room Level 1

Posted this at the beginning of the year on my DA account. Thought I’d throw it up on here. This was my first Wolverine tickle pic in 4 years! O_O

https://www.deviantart.com/lovemybluebully/art/Danger-Room-Level-1-865337680

Wrote a little story to go along with it.

Story is below the ‘Keep Reading’ line.

*/M Tickle Fic (Obviously lol) "Any other surprise challenges for me today, bub? Or is that all ya got?" Wolverine smirked confidently up at the team leader of the X-men, glancing over his shoulder at the pile of rubble consisting of destroyed weaponry and dismembered sentinels and robots of all sizes. Cyclops only sighed as he shook his head and looked down at the Canadian brawler from the control room of their training facility, having exhausted almost every combination of attacks that he could think to throw at him.

These scenarios of Wolverine slicing and dicing up every obstacle and foe were quite predictable and honestly getting a tad boring to watch over and over. Scott decided it was time to try something a little different. "No, this just isn't working. These upper level programs are just all foreseeable for you. Lets try something new. I say we scrap everything and start over from scratch. How about we start you at level 1?"

Logan's smirk disappeared as he frowned up at the other man. "Level 1? Yer kiddin' me, right? That's the program the Professor uses to train the kiddies."

"Trust me Logan it'll be perfect for you. Since you've always skipped over the bottom levels you'll have no idea what they contain so you won't be able to predict them so easily. Hell I don't even know myself exactly what is on each level, but lets give it a shot! Maybe we'll both learn something." Scott actually wasn't lying since he himself had been too competent for those beginner programs when he had joined the X-men. It was likely that Logan would just blow right through them, but he was curious and quite frankly desperate for a change of pace. "Fine. But this is gonna be just a waste o' time," Logan grumbled as he lazily stretched out his arms and cracked his neck. "Don't underestimate the Danger Room and dismiss this program so easily. It may be aimed towards the less experienced, but should still provide its own formidable experience. Remember to stay alert and don't let your guard down." Wolverine just scoffed and blew off his advice like he normally did. "Yeah whatever Slim. Lets get on with it."

"Ok great. Now just a moment here. I'm initiating level 1....," Scott uttered with some fast typing on the control board before pressing one final button, "Now." They waited for a few quiet moments, but nothing happened. Logan was about to quip some sarcastic remark when finally the Danger Room began to show some activity. A compartment on the wall opened and two gloved robotic hands being controlled by metal tentacles began to slowly make their way over to him. Logan snorted in disbelief and shook his head as he looked over the two appendages and noted that they were not holding any kinds of weapons; basically looking completely harmless.

"That's it? This is ridiculous. What's next, a pillow fight? Not that I expected this crap to be any kinda challenge whatsoever," Logan rolled his eyes as he raised his hands into the air and released his deadly claws; ready to dispatch the advancing robot hands with a quick swipe once they closed in. Not even a second later he quickly found his arms ensnared as two metal tentacles had crept in from behind to successfully restrain him much to Logan's shock. He growled as he tried to slice at the tentacles with his sharp claws, but they firmly held his arms away from each other just above his head. The distraction had been just enough that he barely had time to notice that the gloved hands had now reached him as one of them wasted not a moment to grab hold of the hem of his uniform's shirt and roughly jerk it upwards, exposing his bare stomach.

"Hey! What is...?!" He shouted in confusion; his words cut off as the other hand immediately shot forward and buried it's furiously wriggling digits right into his muscular belly.

Logan hadn't listened to Scott. He had let his guard down completely when he had seen this "threat" first enter the room. His overconfidence was now going to be his downfall for mocking the capabilities of the robot hand; the hand that was now ruthlessly tickling him. This tactic was a complete shock to him, and having not put up any of his mental defenses in preparation the laughter exploded out of him as soon as contact was made. "Ahahahaahaa! Wha-Whahahat's goin' ohohohon?! Stahahap thaaat!" He howled out at the mindless hand that relentlessly continued tickling all over his sensitive abdomen; the other hand holding his shirt securely out of the way. Scott too was in complete awe by just what method the program had decided to use, though he couldn't help but grin as he saw the situation that his normally cantankerous teammate was now in. It was already a known fact by the mansion's inhabitants that Logan was surprisingly ticklish as his female team members found it quite endearing and took great delight in ganging up on the burly mutant at times. Heightened senses did have their drawbacks. Still nothing that Scott himself would partake in, knowing that while Logan might put up with it from the ladies he was pretty sure he'd be skewered on the spot if he even made a hint at attempting such a thing. In a way he now felt that he had a sense of power in having Logan in this position. "See? That's what happens when you underestimate the situation, now get to work Logan. Tickling probably isn't a real world offensive that you're going to run into, but no harm in being extra prepared." Wolverine's claws remained out, but he couldn't move his arms enough to free himself. Unable to think straight he continued to fail in his efforts to come up with a strategy to get out of this aside from yelling up at the amused operator in the control room. "Cyyyykehehehee! Tuhuhurn thihis shihihihiiit ohahahahoff!!" Arms bulging he thrashed uselessly in the grip of the tentacles, trying to block the torturous hand from his body by lifting his knee to no avail. He'd been tickled worse than this before, but never had he been this helpless to defend himself. Meanwhile Scott mused over the scene before him. It in fact was a little stupid to be messing with one of the world's deadliest mutant's like this, and he was pretty sure there would be Hell to pay later. His hand hovered momentarily over the button to shut down the Danger Room, but then he pulled back. "No, I think you just need a little more time to figure this out. I have faith in you. I mean, this program is only used to train the 'kiddies', right?" Yup. He was pretty sure Logan was going to kill him after this. "Fuhuhuhuck yooooouuuu!!" Logan cackled as he desperately tried to regain some kind of focus though was only barely able to retract his claws back into his hands, knowing that they were of no use. "Aw c'mon Logan. You're not that ticklish, are you? Can't resist just one little hand tickling you?" Scott couldn't help but tease a bit, having on more than one occasion seen Logan nearly lose his mind from just having his stomach tickled by his teenage sidekick, Jubilee. No sooner had he said that when a third hand began to move in from out of Logan's sight before grabbing the squirming mutant right below his ribs as the fingers playfully dug in over and over again.

"Bwahahahahahahahahaa!! Noooo!! Gehehet 'em offa meeheeheehee!!" Roaring with laughter from the added torture Logan was regretting not taking the lowest level of the Danger Room more seriously. With his arms being held out of the way he couldn't even use them to help guard his body no matter how hard he pulled to free them. It wasn't much longer before his legs began to weaken as he attempted to sink to the floor to hopefully get him a split second of reprieve.

He was allowed to move to the ground, but the hands were unrelenting. With a firm tug the restraining tentacles around his forearms pulled him down onto his back as a few more hands now appeared seemingly out of nowhere to join in tickling under his arms and the other side of his ribcage.

"No!! No!! Stahahahap ihihihihit!! Lemme outtahahaha heeheeheeeere!!" The Wolverine howled as he kicked and squirmed like crazy; his armpits being one of his worst spots. Two other metal tentacles quickly slithered over and grabbed onto each leg to stretch him out and prevent him from curling up in defense. Tears crept out of the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard as so far he had made no progress in getting loose. "Very disappointing Logan. I thought for sure you'd have passed all these lower levels with ease. Well it seems we've uncovered your true weakness. Something that your healing factor won't protect you from. We'll probably have to repeat this level over and over until you get it right," Scott grinned wider, only half serious as he liked to push Logan's buttons at any given opportunity. He was hardly listening though; too focused on the incessant tickle torture. Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse two additional hands made their way over and quickly tugged off his boots, revealing his twitching bare feet as Logan's eyes bulged in panic. "HEY!! Hey hey waahaahaait a m...minute!! No don't!! Not the-AAAHAHAHHAHAHA!!" Fingers wildly scratched at his tender soles, tickling from his wide heels to up under his curled up toes with not a thing he could do to stop them. He was laughing harder than he'd ever had as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. He absolutely could not handle having his feet tickled and once had accidentally kicked Rogue for trying. Luckily she is a tough woman though she used it as an excuse to really punish him with his ankles trapped in the crook of her super strong arm while Logan hysterically cried 'Uncle'. This was more than he could stand. Being spread out and tickled in all his most sensitive spots at once with no way to guard himself was where he drew the line. He loathed the thought of what he was about to do, but he couldn't hold back the frantic pleas that came pouring out. "NAAAHAHAHAHAHOOOO!! N-NO MORE!! STOPSTOP!! PLEEHEEHEEEEASE!! I CAN'T..HAHAHAHAHAA..CAAHAAHAAN'T T-TAKE THIHIHIIS SHIIIIIT!!" Scott was just enjoying the show as he chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "Wow. Who knew? All one has to do to defeat Wolverine is to tickle him and he'll be begging for mercy. Better hope none of your enemies ever find out about this one."

And with that he finally pushed the button to shut down the currently running program in the Danger Room. He'd have been more than happy to let it keep going, but even he could feel some sympathy for his frenemy and knew once he started begging that he had had enough. Logan instantly panted in relief as the hands all stopped tickling him while he was gently released from the restraints, everything then retracting back into the chambers that they had emerged from. A giggle escaped him here and there as he still had a phantom feeling of the fingers all over on his body.

Scott slowly clapped his hands in jest from the control room as he grinned down at the seemingly lifeless body. "Not bad, Logan! I think you almost had it there, but I'm sure you'll do better next time! So what do you think? Ready for level 2?"

The middle claw that immediately popped out of Logan's fist crudely gave him his answer.

[cowb0ygenius]

Interview with Julien Baker | From the Music Desk

Julien Baker is set to release a new album, "Little Oblivions" on Feb. 26. Baker is coming off the heels of her collaboration with Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus in their group Boygenius, and she played at Eaux Claires one year, playing background as Hanif Abdurraqib read poetry. Abdurraqib also wrote Baker's bio for the "Little Oblivions" release and once we started on our shared love for his work, there was no stopping our conversation. -88Nine Radio Milwaukee

[transcript under the cut]

Hi Julien!

Hello Justin!

Hey, how ya doing?

Uh, doing pretty well! Yeah, how are you?

I’m good. Uh, even before going into- even before reading your bio I was going to ask you about Hanif Abdurraqib, and then-

Yeah!

And then I was so fortunate to read the bio [laughs]

I, when he agreed to do that, I was like- [gestures] I was like, emotional? I was like, “I love Hanif!” I actually met- it’s so weird, I like, met/heard, became familiar with his writing, his poetry at, like, a christian writing conference in Grand Rapids?

When?

Um… Oh my gosh, was it 2017? Had to be 2017. Because 2018… yeah. I think it was like a couple of years ago. Um, and then like-

Why were you both there? … Speaking on Christian writing?

Okay so here- the, um, the person who ran it, um, was so sweet, and had like- so we had played there… “we.” This was before I toured with a band. But uh, played with violin. We had played there at this Christian college, um, in Grand Rapids, like just on tour, because whoever ran the events was like- I don’t wanna say “really cool” as if that’s an anomaly for people who- for people of faith, but like-

Sure!

I played there, they had asked Torres to play there, you know-

Hanif was there…

Hanif was there. Yeah, it seemed like the people programming wanted to have a dialogue that wasn’t so- like- the- I don’t- man. It’s funny, ‘cause now I don’t really like using words like “secular.” Um.. [laughs] There’s just this weird otherness, when you call something “secular.” You’re like, “oh…. Secular.”

[laughs]

But uh.. yeah! Just wanted to incorporate, like, non-faith based art as an exploration of like, more abstract ways of how, how we see God?

Mhm.

Umm… like, what that even is? Which I- I like, of course, I was like 20 years old and I was like “THIS IS MY LANEE” Um, I gave at- at that- I’m s- I’m a little embarrassed, but also…. God bless young Julien. I gave like a fucking powerpoint presentation at that conference-

Wow!

AT THAT CONFERENCE, about how [laughs] about how hardcore music, um, was an analog to the tenets of the Gospel.

How so?

Oh my gosh. I don’t know. I-

Hit me with the thesis!

Man, I don’t wanna- I just- It’s funny because I- back then I was trying to have a thesis. And I thought I ha- I had a lot of philosophies to deploy. And now I don’t. [long pause] Uh… Now I don’t. I’m not so- It’s not like I’m not so sure of them but I just have… you know, even back then where it was like this weird disclaimer I would put at the beginning of everything, like, “well I don’t know anything, but what I’ve found and how I understand faith,” and it’s just kind of like… I… I now feel responsible for, kind of, representing an ideology, or trying to pitch people an ideology that was not realistic. [chuckles] Or like-

What was your ideology?

I don’t know! I thought that, that…. [scoffs] It was a lot of stuff. Um, I thought, you know, I thought living out my faith, and- God, this is probably- I don’t wanna do this to another artist, uh, and be like, “Well I really liked what they said, so I did just like them!” Uh, but I- my favorite band was mewithoutYou? And,

Mhm.

It still is! mewithoutYou rocks. Um, but, I like…. Took everything about their ethos and how... Aaron like, characterized God and like the things that they did and tried to apply it to my own life in this way that when I look back on it now was really like- it was like, not that extreme but I wanted to be? You know? I wanted to have like, one shirt.

Oh, yeah.

And to not have- and like, take all the rider food and walk around outside and give it to homeless people.

Yeah.

That’s not- like, okay.

I get that, I get that.

That’s not inherently bad! That is not inherently bad. But, like… I think that I like, hung all of those actions on this belief that like, there was a true- like if I could only just find out what being right is.

Mm.

What God wants. What, uh- how to best love other people. What the right thing to do is.

Mm.

Then I could- and I was like- but you know, it’s because I held all these crazy standards for myself, of being like… ultimately kind? Then when I was like human and I did something shitty, I would have a panic attack about it. You know?

Yeah. Yes.

Like… and, I was just like- but it’s basically so I’m standing up here in a frickin’ tweed blazer, at this Christian conference, trying to be like, “Here’s how I learned love.” Right? Like, “I learned love because people at a church that was a little bit more progressive than the churches I had been to in high school, um, invited me over for dinner, no strings attached, and I was happy that someone was taking interest in me and being kind to me and loving me with no caveat?”

Mhm.

And the other place I found that was.. punk shows. The other place I found that, was, you know, and it was all wrapped up to in like… me being attached to like, straight-edge ideology. Which ha- like, can be useful as like an offshoot of like an understanding of sobriety but also has a lot to do with purity culture? And like… [gestures]

Yeah.

You know? It’s- it’s just- difficult! And so now, I’m like- I just have less to say. You wouldn’t know it ‘cause I just talked, like-

[laughs]

I just had like a 10 minute run-on sentence, obviously. But like, I have- I have less. 

You think that’s ‘cause you have a larger audience?

Woah!

You think it’s harder to say something if you have a larger audience?

…. Oh god. You know what? I was gonna say no, but actually that might be a part of it. Like, I’d never thought of it like that before, but- man. I used to, like, if I were gonna tweet something, something that I f- that I shouldn’t feel so anxious about like, like- tweeting.

Yeah.

Like, first of all, it’s Twi- it’s like an imaginary digital realm. Like, i- it’s powerful! It’s powerful to educate, to organize, to um- you know, especially like...  whatever, I’m not even gonna get off on that, ‘cause that’ll be like the whole interview. But, I would st- I would have to- I would be like visibly sweating and have to turn my phone off if I was just like, “Hey! please like donate to this organization that’s trying to not put children in cages at the border.” But it’s like, why? I have- with my- with the whole fabric of my being believe that’s the right thing to do, and I have this like, “well what if, what if you’re wrong? What if you hurt someone’s feelings?” And I’m just like, dude- I- I- it’s just like, the more people- I didn’t even… When I was a kid, I just wanted to play music, and I pretty much thought that I was going to be a teacher, and then I was going to use summer break to tour with my band. And just kinda be… a thirty-year-old, like, rock chick.

Cool. Mhm.

Who was just… touring bars.

Cool teacher.

And like, I don’t- I don’t know! I didn’t want- but the same thing is, like, I had somebody say to me really early on, I was like- I said to them—it was my friend Ryan Rado, who made the painting for the Turn Out the Lights album cover—I was like, “Man, the most- I feel like the only thing I wanna do with a microphone when I get it is turn it away because I always learned about shows being about… gang vocals! And like-

[laughs]

And that’s kind of- that’s like- that’s literal, but also, it has implications on how you understand… your platform as a musician. It’s like yeah, I’m just, like… you know? All the people watching my band are just the other bands that just played. So we’re all kinda on the same…

[laughs]

…plane?

Uhuh? [laughs]

Um, and it’s like- now- and i- he said to me- he was like, “But you can’t change the fact that you have the microphone.”

Mhmm.

“So you’re going to have to say something into it anyway.”

Yeah.

And then I was like, “Well what do I say?” [chuckles] What do I say if I wanna- if I truly want the world to be a better place. What can I say, to make whoever follows the Julien Baker music account on Twitter-

[laughs]

-think about being a better person! And I’m not- like, it sounds like I’m be- I’m being so mean to myself, because like… that’s true. Like I want to put ideas and links to articles and history podcasts about like- I want to put that in front of the people that trust me enough to smash that follow button. You know? Like-

Yeah.

I- I wanna try. But I… I can’t, like, I think I- I really just wanted to be good. And-

Yeah.

But it’s so… I don’t wanna be like, “it’s hard to be good,” because that’s like a cop out of like, “Well, I should just be average.” [laughs] But like.. yeah man. It’s difficult, to all of the sudden have-

The-

Yeah-

There’s a low threshold for forgiveness on twitter, you know?

Good God, yeah. Yeah.

I mean it’s like that, you know, it’s hard!

Yeah!

I mean I- I- I read a tweet that Hanif liked today, you know it was like in my feed of, like, “Hanif liked this.” And it was like something about Ocean Vuong—who I love—um, but I guess like, Ocean like, said something today or something like that? And then it was like a… there was like a poet that was like, “This should also be a place for learning.” This- like, if someone said something, this should also be a place for forgiveness. And sometimes, we’re- sometimes we’re still figuring it out! And that’s okay-

Yeah!

-And that’s a really tough thing to do.

No, um, Ha- uh, I was just reading like, I think it was Hayley Williams was tweeting this whole long thing about like saying “womxn” with an x? And then like, like all- like, I didn’t even understand it. Like, what was the- I was just like, “okay!” I guess there was somebody that had a problem with this, and then she was just like, “Thanks. Thanks for letting me know that was problematic, I won’t do that anymore.” And I wish- I wish that I… ha- like- maybe I will get to a point where I’m like- It’s like, “I know I’m problematic! I’m- everybody’s problematic!”

[laughs]

But not least of all, me! You know?

[laughs]

Um, but I’m so afraid it’s like I will sit there and concoct what I want to say in an interview, or like- like when I have to do email interviews my manager will send me like four- like, “Hey, you- you really need to get this done”

[laughs]

Because I will sit here for seven hours, in this spot in my apartment, and be like, “That’s not the best way to say that! I could say it better!” You know, I’m just like- and then inevitably I’ll read it the next week and I’ll be like, “still sounds dumb.” Like, I just-

[laughs] You can’t win, Julien!

Can’t win! Yeah but it’s- it’s freeing. Its freeing to know that you can’t win.

For sure. Um- I’m going to have to wrap this up. We’re-

I’m so sorry!

Um- er- I think we have like two more minutes- I know, it’s been a quick 15. Yeah, um, you had said that mewithoutYou is, um, is your favorite band? And I would- I wanna come out of this with a song to play- could you tell me a mewithoutYou song that we can play? And why you like it?

Wowwww… okay. I’m sorry. I’m like a stan of them so I’m like mulling through their entire discography in my head right now.

Sure.

Um- oh my God. You know what? It’s a weird one, and I feel like.. mewithoutYou fans don’t hate me for not saying, like, 19- 1979 or whatever? But… um… play King Beetle and the Coconut Estate. That one’s really cool. It’s about beetles who think that God is like a light and then they all fight it- it’s like a really cool microcosmic little fable that is a really merciful way to look at humans trying to figure out what heaven or god or rightness is. But it’s just little bugs. [laughs]

[laughs]

Talking to each other! It’s really cute. King Beetle and the Coconut Estate.

Perfect

Yeah. Yeah!

Um, and thank you. I mean, that’s- that was the fastest 15 minutes I’ve uh ever spent!

Oh my gosh! We didn’t even- We just talked about a Christian music conference!

[laughs] We didn’t even really like get to Hanif, or-

I’m so- I’m so sorry!

Oh no, oh my God! The best is when you, uh, make a plan and then you throw the, you know, road map out the window.

Yeah!

This is my dream conversation!

Okay! [laughs] Well good! Thank you! It’s been- I’ve enjoyed this conversation quite thoroughly.

Me too! Thank you! Uh- and thank you for the, thank you for the music! Consistently throughout your career, and-

Oh! Yeah, I try!

And thanks for the, for the new record.

[labyriinths]

@prettytragcdies ​ continued from here [x]

There’d been many things Adam decided not to do in his relationship with Scarlett. The first of which was, to get the hell out of dodge when he mistook her for the wrong date. But there’d been something in his head to tell him ‘why not?’ .He suspected then, it was his mother giving him a push. What transpired the weeks after, woke up his thirst for actually living life. He was so appreciative of this new and scarily amazing thing in his life, that when he started witnessing certain behaviors from her part, he just looked the other way.

A few, (albeit many) instances, Adam was practically pushed against a wall to confront two very real possibilities: she’s cheating, or ‘its just business.’ But he’d see the way they were together. How honest and pure their time together was. He simply couldn’t fathom her being this way, (vulnerable and open about a future) and leading a double, more wicked life. By all accounts, Adam felt he knew her, and he knew what she wasn’t.

But, knowing that didn’t help the pang in his stomach whenever he witnessed her ‘business transactions.’ Or heard the way she spoke on the phone to potential investors. He knew it was the art of the sale, but he wanted progress. He knew that just letting her be that way was respectful to her, but it made him feel like their future was at a standstill. Adam wanted to move forward, and he couldn’t do that with the way things were now. No way would it work out. Frustrated that she wasn’t letting this drop, he decided to be honest. Not sugar coat things or support her in her ‘special methods.’

“You want to know how I really feel, Scarlett? When I met you, it was like you breathed life back into me. We’ve traveled all over together, without even knowing each other that well. We were wildly different, but it worked. It still does. I’ve racked up more miles on my airline membership in two years than the five I traveled at conferences as a brand ambassador. For god’s sake we practically have two homes, Scarlett. It’s a crazy life, but we’ve managed it, and I’ve never tried to sway any which way. I love that you’re independent. That you don’t need me, you ---just like my company, I guess.” he smiled shaking his head.

 “I’ve never just wanted a girlfriend. I’ve wanted someone to share my time and life with. And god, Scarlett. I could be so good at loving you." He stares longingly, questioningly. A sigh escapes before looking down, slowly finding her gaze once more. "But only if you told me to.” Yes, he's been captivated. Did his best to make everything they did together feel special. But he knew, even now, there were certain advancements he's wanted to make, but couldn't find himself to do them. One foot in one foot out-- and that wasn't the kind of life he likes living.

It wasn't about owning someone. It was about sharing their life, and affirming their commitment to each other. A choice they would stand by. All his life he's had just his mother growing up. He wanted a different future for himself. He needed it. He knew having Scarlett I'm his life brought an amazing difference but there's a small part of himself that thought it was too good to be true. That she might like these business methods too much that the allegiance between them would come second. Being abandoned again? He could live through it sure, he's already been through the ringer a few times. But he didn't want to lose her. Not that smile, not that elegant presence not even that beautiful laugh that lit up her entire face. Maybe being honest would help.

“I get you do business a certain way. I’m not here to judge. But don’t you want to put some of that stuff behind ya? Start something more fulfilling? Every time I see you tittering that line-- I gotta say its like you’re cheapening what we have. I’ve seen love go to waste, and I --just don’t want to look back and think you’re the one that got away. So, yeah I'm trying to deal with this. But clearly, we're at an impasse right now.”

[aire101]

Ferrum Intro

My brain absolutely, positively refuses to focus on romance atm, which means I have made no progress on my WIP and instead my brain ended up producing this concept which I will probably continue at least until I get it out of my system.  So here’s the beginning of a post-Endgame MCU/SAO Irondad fic that I went online to read, discovered it didn’t exist yet, and so could NOT GET OUT OF MY DAMN HEAD.

-------

It had been a long day.

Then again, every day seemed like a long one lately.

It had been a relatively beautiful November day for New York City, and with the approaching holidays Peter was starting to see the usual uptick in petty crime begin this season. Within his five hour patrol he had helped eight lost tourists, found one lost pet, caught two armed burglars and tied up a ridiculous number of petty thieves. Nothing too problematic, just another day in the life of our friendly neighborhood Spider-man.

Peter sat crouched on a roof looking over the newest Iron Man mural to pop up, this time right on the edge between Queens and Brooklyn. There were several around town already, but this one was especially heart-wrenching. Most were either of the armor mid-action or of Mr. Stark in his trademark press look. But this one was different in the best and worst way.

In this art, Mr. Stark was still in his armor, but the helmet was retracted, allowing the viewer to see the blood crusted on his face, the lines of worry even deeper than they were before everything had gone to hell. There weren’t many pictures of Mr. Stark from the five year period now known as the Blip, but in the ones there were Peter knew he had looked like this— tired and worn in a way Peter had never seen, but could well understand. All in all, it looked uncannily similar to the last time Peter had seen him. When—

Anyway—

And on the shoulders of this mural’s Tony Stark rested an enormous orb holding dozens of galaxies spiraling around a central point— a tiny arc reactor in the shape of a heart.

There was still a little while before he would be expected at Ned’s tonight, but the more he tried to convince himself to hit the streets again, the heavier his limbs felt.

He couldn’t do it. Not like this. Experience told him it was a recipe for disaster, likely to get himself or someone else badly hurt. Himself he could handle, someone else… his conscience couldn’t take another body added to its count right now. Besides, he had promised Ned he’d be there tonight.

Peter sighed and swung away from his rooftop perch to head back towards Ned’s, not sparing the art a backwards glance.

No matter how good it was, no reproduction could ever duplicate what he had lost.

----------

“Whoa, you’re early,” said Ned with a mild tone of shock. Which honestly… was probably fair. “I wasn’t expecting you for at least another thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, I decided to call it a night early. It was actually pretty quiet tonight anyway. Didn’t want to get too wrung out on the web considering we have plans tonight,” said Peter as he stepped into the Leeds’ apartment, slipping off his shoes and hanging his coat on the rack. “Where is everyone?”

“Dad has to work tonight, and mom and Angelica went to Laser Bounce earlier, but they should be back before too long. I stayed home to finish some stuff up before the launch tonight. Plus, I wasn’t sure when you’d be getting here, so…”

“Sorry, I should have messaged earlier.”

“You’re alright man. Like I said, I had some stuff to wrap up. I plan to be in-game as much as possible tomorrow,” said Ned as they moved into his bedroom.

“You sure you don’t mind me getting the first run tonight? They might have some secret opening event planned for the first few hours…” asked Peter.

“I am absolutely positive. I am going to have plenty of opportunities to lose unhealthy amounts of sleep to this game. Besides, between the two of us I think you need the break more than me.  On a related note— you look terrible man. Have you been sleeping at all?”

“I sleep,” said Peter defensively. “I don’t really need much though, you know?”

“Physically, sure. Mentally? You’re still just as human as the rest of us Peter. Have you talked to May about it? Or Happy?”

“Can we please drop this? It’s just been a long day, alright?”

“What happened? I thought you said it was mostly quiet?” asked Ned, confused.

“I meant it was quiet for New York, I was still busy pretty much all evening,” said Peter, falling backwards onto Ned’s bed.

Ned sat down at his computer, spinning around to face Peter. “Fine, but I’m definitely going to harass you later, and you better actually sleep after we trade off in a few hours. Anyway, I am SO PSYCHED or this! God I hope its worth all the hype.”

“I can’t imagine it being a flop. The tech behind it is revolutionary, and the head developer has been working on the game for like a decade,” said Peter, as he scrolled through the GameSpot special coverage from that day.

“Wasn’t SI contracted to consult on it, too?” asked Ned.

Peter felt his throat begin to constrict. The nails of his right hand bit into the flesh of his palm as he forced himself to take a slow breath—hold—and release…

“Yeah, Mr. Stark consulted on it himself. Some of the engineering on the headset is similar to the BARF technology. I think he might have worked on a couple system AI’s as well.”

“That is so cool man. So this is almost like his last tech contribution? Last gift to the world…”

“I doubt that. It was just a consult job, most of the work was done by Argus. Plus, Mr. Stark had years worth of projects and updates on file. We’ll probably see things he had a hand in being released for the next ten years at the least,” said Peter.

“Still pretty cool though,” said Ned with a shrug.

At that moment, Peter heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock of the front door.

“Looks like they’re back,” he said, continuing to scroll, this time through discussions on Reddit.

“Have you had dinner yet? You know if you haven’t she’s going to force you to eat before you dive.”

“Nah, I didn’t get a chance to stop off earlier. What kind of leftovers do ya have?”

“I think there’s meatloaf and some chicken adobo left at the moment.”

“Yaaasss… Chicken adobo…”

Just then Ned’s bedroom door opened, and Mrs. Leeds poked her head in, a large smile on her face.

“Peter! I thought I saw your coat by the door! I’m glad you were able to make it tonight! Edward has been excited about the sleepover for weeks,” she said.

“Oh my god, mom! It’s not a sleepover! I doubt we’ll even sleep much!”

“Isn’t that what sleepovers are about?! You’re ridiculous… Anyway, have you eaten?” Mrs. Leeds asked, looking at Peter.

Peter had to bite back a smile, but shook his head.

“Hala ka, you’re going to waste away into dry bones! I don’t care how busy you are these days, you shouldn’t be skipping meals. You’ll blow away in a strong breeze. Come, I’ll heat something up. I know how bad you boys get about eating when its a normal game. A full immersion VR? You’ll forget you even have a real body that needs sustenance.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Peter, dutifully following her into the kitchen.

“You are in luck. We have some leftover chicken adobo from last night. I know you like that recipe. Did May ever give it a go?”

Peter flashed back to the gloopy, slightly charred mess that was May’s attempt at cooking the dish. “Eh… Yeah but it wasn’t quite the same. Still needs a bit of work.”

“Huh,” Mrs. Leeds said, sounding confused.

“Peter!” shouted a voice from behind him.

“Hey Angie,” said Peter, before he felt arms wrap around him from behind in a bear hug.

His heart throbbed in his chest. His breath caught and wouldn’t come.

Thanos was coming for the gauntlet he couldn’t let him have it he had to run the aliens were grabbing him he had to—

“You never come around anymore! It’s been months—!”

“Stop that Angelica. It’s been a crazy year, and Peter stays very busy between school and an internship. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for bed? It’s already way passed bedtime.”

Angie rolled her eyes dramatically but stomped back off towards her room to do as she was asked.

“Sorry, dear. She just missed her big brothers, you know.”

Peter did his best to force out a grin, but he wasn’t sure just how well it came off because the next thing he knew Mrs. Leeds was giving him a tender kiss on the head and muttering about making some cups of cocoa.

It was moments like this that he truly felt the strange reality of the fact that he had lost five years of his life. On the surface level everything felt mostly the same— Aunt May along with the majority of his friends had also been snapped, as well as several of his teachers. But while they were gone, Ned’s little sister aged from an innocent five year old, to a ten year old girl who had grown in a world in more confusion, pain and desperation than Peter could really comprehend. Freshman he had helped tutor in school had graduated. Families he had known were irreparably torn apart, seemingly overnight.

It felt like while he was still the same, the rest of the world had tilted slight to the left, leaving him unbalanced and unsure where to step next. He’d always felt a bit out of place anyway after the spider bite, but now it was so much worse. Sometimes Peter wanted a taste of what normal used to be like, without freaky spider powers, world protecting responsibilities and the guilt of looking around him and wondering if he deserved to be here at all.

He glanced at the clock that hung on the wall— fifteen minutes till midnight.

“I should probably go brush my teeth too and get settled in. The server will open soon,” said Peter as he stood.

“Yeah, though there shouldn’t really be much to do other than to actually connect since we calibrated your account the other day,” said Ned.

Within ten minutes Peter had taken care of his nightly necessities and given Angie and Mrs. Leeds both a hug goodnight, settling in on the upper bunk of Ned’s bed.

“Last time I’m asking— are you sure you don’t mind me giving this the first run?” asked Peter.

Ned sighed and spun around from his computer to send Peter an exasperated look. “Do you not want to take it on its maiden voyage?”

“That’s not what I said,” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Then stop worrying.  Just have a good time for once.  Also, I downloaded a couple files to the gear.  Not sure how reliable it is yet, but a few beta testers put out some first floor tips on the DL as a downloadable in game file, so check that out once you dive.  It might help out a bit.”

“Will do.  Thanks.”

“No problem.  Now get going, and be sure to take plenty of notes in your journal to send me later.”

“See you around, kid.”

“I am older than you are by two months.  Shut up and dive, loser.”

Peter smiled as he fitted the Nervegear onto his head, laid back and said, “Link Start.”

———————

In a remote, nondescript server room a certain file kicked to life.  It’s programming had been remotely accessed, a mere accident of oversight.  The digital pathways that connected it to the Argus servers, while known about, had been forgotten in the chaos of the last few years.  The file was not one created within the system, but one created to interact within it.  The Cardinal system downloaded the precious data, implementing it in the category that best described its form and function.

Program designation: Client

System ID: Ferrum Vir

Administration level: GM

. . . .

Installation Complete

————————

At 12:00 am EST on November 5th, 2023 (1:00 pm JST), Peter Parker joined 10,000 others in the world’s first full dive MMORPG— Sword Art Online.

And so did a very confused Anthony Edward Stark.

[clevercatchphrase]

2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1)      Pay off all my student loans 2)      Finish some song comics 3)      Make art for my Redbubble account 4)      Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5)      Practice ASL 6)      Sew some stuffed animals 7)      Finish some fan fictions 8)      Work on Ghost Switch 9)      AMVs 10)   Do some original writing 11)   Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force!  I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1)      Finish paying off that last student loan 2)      Put more stuff on my redbubble 3)      Illustrate my own fan fics 4)      Sew at least one stuffed animal 5)      Make an enamel pin 6)      Read one new book a month 7)      Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8)      Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9)      Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10)   Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you  might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number  9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

[angelaiswriting]

The Year of the Bitch| JAN + FEB 2020

Hello, my darlings!

Long time no see, and I apologize for that. I thought I’d let you know a bit about how these first two months of my Bitch Life (lmao) have been going and I’ll do it under the cut because I doubt many will want to know about my life.

Just a spoiler: I’m working on the cover of a coming-soon book 😏 + goal for the next few months: try and don’t catch this coronavirus bs 🙃

Memory wise, I still suck ass, so #i’m sorry #i’ll forget to talk about some things.

Generally speaking, January and February are exam months because of uni and long story short, your bitch failed an exam for the first time ever. But you know what? I’m not even sad about it -- I wasn’t the day I failed (I mean, at first I was ofc, but the wait for the train home gave me time to think and I realized that I wasn’t as sad as I thought I’d be), and I’m not sad now. I think it was a great lesson -- and to put it with my brother’s words, “You gotta start failing or the real world will kick your ass.” Like,

also, considering as it was said by someone who can’t face shit for the life of him... double the energy of that gif

But yeah, at the end of the day I came to the conclusion that sometimes we have to fail in order to succeed, and that failure? Bitch, it kicked me into Hyper Motivated Bitch mode, I’m not even kidding.

Also, I learned that no matter how hard some things might seem (Economics exam, I’m looking at ya) or how little I think I know (Economics exam, still talking about your ugly ass), it’s the effort that matters and bitch *out of breath*, the effort I put into that exam!

I’ve also come to terms -- and in a peaceful way, wow, look how mature I’m getting -- with the writer’s block that’s still digesting me. I have zero (0) inspiration or motivation to write these months days, but I’m trying to get back on track by reworking a novel I’d actually like to publish one day. It’ll most likely be a long ass process, but it’s okay, it’s still a ride I’m willing to live through to the end.

The high I’ve been on for the past two months is now dropping down into a puddle of new fam problems (*dramatic exhale* -- I’m still learning how to ask for help but for once this is not the case lol), BUT I’ve been working on myself a lot ever since New Year’s. I’ve been working out, I’ve been consistent with yoga and meditation, I’m trying to build healthy habits in general AND WAIT FOR IT

I’ve been getting into the hang of Photoshop once more!!! My parents got me a drawing tablet for Christmas (I have vague memories of saying this already tho ?) and not only did it allow me to make Tatyana’s file a little more ‘personal’ in a way, buuuuuut I might’ve been getting into digital art?? 🙈 I’m loving it and despite being a newbie with this whole thing, I’m having so much fun, you guys have no idea. It relaxes me even when I make mistakes and I think this whole experience is a great teacher, considering how perfectionist I tend to get. I can fuck around, draw shitty things and still have fun while doing it, but also paint fairly decent pieces that make me proud of my horrible ones.

The most exciting part of this ‘artistic journey’ is... *drum roll* a friend of mine is going to publish a book (in Italian, so it probably won’t travel the world and you won’t see my art but who cares) and I’ve been making a book cover for her for the past... month ? ish ? I’m very slow, but I also have other things to do, so that’s okay. It’s not entirely my work since she gave me a drawing her friend made and I reworked it, BUT STILL, YA KNOW??? I’m very excited about it and happy and proud of the results I’m getting, despite it still being a WIP and all. I might even share it once the book is out, who knows! I just need validation lmao

Last but not least, I’ve been more forgiving with myself. I’ve been getting to know myself better, I got back in touch with a friend I hadn’t heard from for over a year... In a weird non-self-centered way I’ve been focusing on myself and my (mental and physical) health a lot more and while the results might not be tangible yet, I’m feeling a lot happier and that’s the vibe I wanna keep with myself for the whole fucking decade.

Before this whole coronavirus shit hit the fan I was planning trips with my dad, but now it’s all on pause. But the moral of this story is, I want to experience more -- more things, more feelings, more time out with the people (my doggo included) I love. We only live once (or, at least, we tend to forget about our past lives?) and maybe I won’t live mine to the fullest of its capabilities (your bitch is broke), but that won’t stop me from going out there when I can.

Special shout out to my cousin for still being my inspiration -- and to Arianna for adding herself to the list. They’ll never see this post and read my appreaciation, but it’s also thanks to them that the bitch inside me is thriving.

To end this rant I’d like to thank the friends that’ve been walking this path with me, most of all Ty aka Fran Fine (lol, you’re still saved like that on my phone) and Claudia for sharing it and also sharing things and experiences with me. Knowing you’re not completely alone in this truly is a good feeling and a blessing.

My next goal is to find a balance between being there for myself and being there for my friends. I’m sure I’ve seemed a bit detatched lately, but it’s only been because I’ve been trying to figure my shit out. March and April (all the way through to December) will be better, I promise 💛

There’s a lot more I’ll remember only after hitting ‘post,’ but these are the very highlights of my journey so far and I really wanted to share also bc this bitch needs to be kept accountable.

Kudos to you if you made it past the ‘read more’ thing and then to the end of this very rambly post. If you want to share your progress in this Bitch Project thing, feel free to hit me up; we can cheer each other up!

Much love,

Angela

[nusincerity]

THE NOBLE PURSUIT TO BECOME UNBEHOLDEN BY TIME, TASTE, AND OTHER SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS

I believe when offended by another person, particularly for a disagreement in taste in pop culture, humans rather than believe someone could be so cruel quickly imagine a more palpable psychoanalysis of the offender in order to soothe our jangled egos. One of the most common excuses I see is jealousy - you're being mean because you're really just jealous. Another is that the opinionated are purposefully trying to be superior or 'edgier' for playing contrarian. These excuses seem to stem more often then not from no reasonable assessment of the individual (for do you really know what troubles their psyche?) then from this social cliche of making said assumption. Which had me wondering, why do we need that reassurance? Why must we wield accusations of jealousy, bitterness, immaturity, mental problems, egomania, even internalized misogyny, to account for differences of opinions and wipe our hands of the responsibility of being nothing like the offender? Why is that easier to swallow?

What if too, an opinion is just an opinion?

What if, I don't like it, because I don't like it?

I can't speak for anyone but myself. So, to that, I know there are underlying causes, traumas and unique points of view which might reflect both a mental instability or bitterness at times as well as simple matters of personal taste affecting my opinions. Sometimes, I dislike something because it is out of line with my world view, which is directly tied to my lifelong experiences and influences. Sometimes, I just don't like the way it mixes with my senses, like high pitched singing or cantaloupe. What determines the later seems learned, intrinsic, and if I am feeling less rational, cosmic. So it goes, of course, for the things I love. Rarely, I think, am I truly 'jealous' or otherwise 'trying' to be anything. If one denies these accusations when accused, though, it does nothing dissuade the accuser. Such personality defects are something a person will never admit to, right? Therefore, this so called argument seems to me an attempted disarming of the opinion, in lieu of attempting understanding.

A root of my problem with this all is more about not accepting the ugly negativity, petty anger and bitterness in others, or not wanting to feel it in themselves. Even it was jealousy at the core, why not let that person feel what they need to feel? Let me put it this way:

I am bitter about a lot of things, I get as passionate about certain things I dislike as much as things I love, and there's a lot at play to make me feel like stale, cold, left-out all night coffee on the inside. But you can't simply tell someone to stop being bitter as much as you can't tell a depressed person to just cheer up.

One stranger flinging insults at the thing they don't like, to come across another stranger who likes said thing flinging insults back to the first  - neither is better than the other. Regardless of the point of view or intent of either, there is one generalization of both, of all of us, I will venture to make:

We're all just kinda insecure.

The worst part of human insecurity in the pop societal landscape is that often what creates the insecurities of one stems from the insecurities of another. I see all the time in my peer group (and the American world at large) an obsession, conscious or not (and likely mostly not), with proving to the world that they are Cool and have Taste. They do this often by making fun of the things which are currently trendy to make fun of to prove they understand what's right and wrong, as reinforced by the circle jerk of others they perceive to also be Cool and have Taste (and perhaps an underlying current of the fear of aging - of losing what is perceived to be only for youth in this regard.). They do this because they want to be accepted, into that circle of higher low brow. Which as far as I can tell is mostly an imagined group, or acquaintances they might encounter within a subcultural sphere doing the same thing (ie: want to fit in with the death metal crowd? Talk a lot about how terrible nu-metal is. Don't you feel clever?). Perhaps I surmise this because I too did this once, when I was an adolescent. And you might read this and think, that all sounds immature, and it is.

But that doesn't mean adults grow out of that immaturity.

But it does soothe my jangled nerves when exasperated with these peers to remind myself that they're probably just coming from a lot of unresolved insecurities. As we all are. This feels to me like the logical approach, the one of the mediator, the armchair psychologist who can put humans into an order that sits better with reason and less with pure emotion. The trouble is, emotion is what I am mostly made of.

I am exasperated, and a little insecure, and no logic in the 'verse is going to iron out this and the anger that ensues from it. But, regardless, here I am, making stabs to sort out my own perspective and hopefully change yours a little bit.

What infuriates me the most about posturing to appear current, or cool, or otherwise proving you have the 'right' taste is one.) some immature junior high nonsense as aforementioned, two.) stems from and creates world wide insecurities especially in us particularly sensitive folk, and three.) is a completely arbitrary, ever changing, shallow concept within itself. So, why buy in into it? Let's compound this last point with another arbitrary social construct: time.

Measuring time in itself is a necessary technological development for civilization*, but the ways it is qualified by culture and reinforced by taste seem to warp the perspective of it for a good deal many. It also strikes me as having sped up in a post industrialized world, with the decades of the 20th century remembered in such compartmentalized generalizations and stereotypes that generally we fail to remember the fluidity of evolving design, technology, and pop culture (or perhaps also our relatively short distance from it). Let alone, that those living through it were not prudish neanderthals to whom we could never relate. We are obsessed with categorizing time in this way, and we are obsessed with further compartmentalizing generations and giving them names more than I believe we were before (for that I blame marketing and SEOs), but it's never so neatly sorted despite the insistence of meme language and marketing (I have never found an official source concluding exactly where one generation ends and the next begins, and frankly I believe that's impossible and pointless given than any single person will be influenced by multitudes of factors in their personal environment). I believe the truth of the past gets so clouded by these generalizations and stereotypes that the popular view of culture before ours is distorted into caricature.

This is also, I should add, a largely American or Western perspective of time and culture. Itself another limitation of perspective.

I love art, and I love music, and movies, and fashion, and design; but I also love history, and people individually – and I think the art, and music, and movies, and fashion, and all matter of objects, are the best connection we will ever have to people we, limited as we all, can never truly meet nor understand what their moment stuck in linear time must have been like for them. I'm fueled with a desire to do the impossible and try to know anyway. For me, appreciating those pieces left behind is the closest I will ever feel to those times, to those people. I feel constrained by the year I was born, and I feel constrained by the day I die even not knowing when that will be. This limitation only feels more profound the closer I get to the other end. There is no way I think I am the only one, of course, or else time travel fiction wouldn't be so popular.

Except there is one thing that I am grateful for, which might even be the next best thing to time travel or bodily transcendence – eras before this never quite had such an ease of access to the artifacts of the past that I am so lucky to experience.

So the way I see it, there's really no excuse any more. I long for a future where writing off the cultural knowledge of someone because it's 'before your time' is not such a social cliche.** I long for a future where it can all be enjoyed at once, without the social posturing, in spite of the third dimension.

(Perhaps even to spite the third dimension. That's for making me a linear being, ya wanker.)

Yet, even with this wonderful wealth of information, never will I know the past without the influence of the present, and therefore, will never have an unaffected first hand and unbiased account. Therefore, I do as best I can within my limitations. Not just learning about the the things I love, and what led to them, but working to detach myself from the learned notions of taste that affect our point of view.

I need to stop here and make an aside, because I feel the imagined commenter complaining already. When I speak about detaching your present biases to better appreciate the past, I do mean as I hope I have made clear, this specifically speaks to matters of subjective taste in art, design, pop culture, and technology, and the way we get arrogant about our current state as if we have managed to achieve the pinnacle of these things when at no point in history has this remained constant. Social political differences, and the ugly parts of the past that we believe to have progressed away from, I don't mean to say turn a blind eye even when they show up in these mediums. But I also think in order to truly understand those aspects, we need to swap our lens from our current condition to the context of its moment. These ideas weren't created out of nothing and it's very important to attempt to understand why and what created them, and how they continue to affect the present. I think context is king, and even if we regard ourselves as progressed and better than that ugliness, I don't think just mocking, complaining about, or dismissing a work because it has discomforting elements (including even, for instance, dated technology) helps us to really face or understand or ancestors, nor ourselves. Further more, I think language should not be the deciding factor in the intentions of a piece of work or point of view of the creator; that is, if a certain word or phrase or way of putting something was used which we now regard as dated or distasteful, can not always be literally interpreted by only our current definitions and associations – this leads, I think, to misunderstood intentions and missed points. I certainly won't have anything from the past be altered for the benefit of the present condition. But I won't delve into this further for the sake of keeping to my ideas about subjectiveness.

Which leads me back to that infuriating thing about 'taste' within time – arbitrary, shallow, ever-changing. Not to mention, cyclical and reactionary against itself quite often. There is a phenomena that I call the 10-20 Rule, which particularly  applies to fashion trends, but I feel I see it applying to all matters of pop culture (music styles, film trends, etc), possibly even more now than before. The 10-20 rules has three parts: before 10 years we haven't really distanced ourself enough from the past to see it as garishly different, therefore we have yet to categorize or analyze it fully; between the approximate 10 and 20 year mark, the trends of the past become too dated to bare and must be made fun of at all costs (or so it seems); at 20 or so however, it's been long enough that our yearning and interest in those previous styles are renewed, reinterpreted, and reclaimed especially by those who were not there to live it. Especially, or perhaps most integral to this theory, if it's different than whatever trend we leave directly behind.

It's by no means an original theory. I think those with even the slightest awareness of clothing style changes recognize the recycling of trends every 20 or so years. What I feel I gave a name or at least more personal thought to are the first two parts of the rule. I write this in 2020, and I've been seeing fashion of the Y2K pop up for a couple years now (and also predicted it. Am I bitter about this? Maybe; I have my self analysis ready for another essay.) and now fully cementing itself in all mainstream fashion forward outlets (but I also see adults not ready to accept it). At the same time, I am hearing and seeing plenty of mockery directed at the mid to late 2000s, smack in that war zone of 10 to 15, for music or styles that went along with it, while also seeing teenagers now wax nostalgic about the years they were babies and wishing they could dress 'emo' now (and you see, according to my philosophy, they could and should, they should enjoy whatever they want, and the holding them back is the perception of not being cool or current, and perhaps also the means of obtaining the articles to fulfill their desires. Which as much as I personally have no nostalgia for emo music or junior high, makes me sad for them). As for 2010s, of course as the decade ended plenty of retrospective articles emerged, but the same fear of the trends of the past are slowly just beginning to trickle in from the first few years. My friend tagged me in an Instagram post of a picture of a celebrity at Coachella wearing Jeffry Cambell Litas in 2012, which were massively popular probably between 2010 and 2012, and the Instagram post played on the nostalgia baiting while snickering at them and comparing them to Crocs and Uggs (I'm sure even in its prime they had their naysayers).  Which, personally I think Litas are much more stylish and was annoyed as a teen that I did not own a pair at a certain point. A lot of the comments echoed 'too soon' or 'I remember loving those'. That post exhausted me.

(This Instagram post however got me thinking, the cycle might be accelerating as the 2010s enter the 10-20 range of years removed, as the beginning of this decade coincides with the beginning of things like Instagram and fast fashion. The documentation of microtrends and of everyone's lives therefore increases, along with our desires for needing to see new things constantly amidst seeing the same things exponentially, leading to this unsatisfiable visual overstimulation...)

And the exhaustion set in when I realized, I'm not even 30, and if I live for another 50 years or more, I'm going to have to go through this cycle again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

It is not so much the idea of cyclical and equal-opposite reaction trend cycles in themselves which bother me (although I have never ever liked minimalism and lived for its death since the day I was born, and if it comes back, I will continue to fight against it as the definition of 'taste') – but the way I have observed people engaging with them. Specifically, when in one decade some style is deemed awful, and in the next, the same person might suddenly change their tune and love it. This feels fickle. This feels like identity crisis. This feels like capitalistic brainwashing, because if you didn't change your taste, why would you buy anything new?

What are trends but repetition? Too soon and too strange is hard for people to digest; but see it presented enough times (especially on perhaps the wealthy or famous or attractive or young) it becomes desirable. See it too many times it becomes boring; the opposite reaches its desirable phase, and suddenly, the previous trend isn't just boring but dated. Horrifying. I'm fascinated by why this happens – because it feels like nothing that relates to the instincts of more primal humans. Perhaps I wrong, perhaps there is a more natural causation. From my vantage point amongst the trends, though, it feels like conditioning – and the only escape is to really, really look deep in yourself, and know what you genuinely love, and embrace that with sincerity and resolve.  

Being aware, probably hyper aware, possibly neurotic, about such things creates the frustration as much as it allows me to attempt to distance myself from it. My only reprieve from, as far as I can imagine, will be to untangle my involvement from this pop cultural hellscape as I age and, somehow, learn to not care about any of it and enjoy and be myself (and to others, not caring about the distance between youth, and all the involvement of Current and Cool that goes along with it, being left behind). Which is, above all, the center of what all these tangents point back to. This is much easier theorized about than done – I am tangled in pop culture, reinforced by my job that exists only because of it and the coworkers who are mostly all in that awkward phase of late 20-something between youth and a midlife crisis, also steeped in it, wherein they complain about simultaneously being out of touch and not knowing how to 'adult'. And clearly, pop culture is a topic which interests me - either by actually enjoying it or by analyzing it in a detached and cold alien sort of way for which I'll half-jokingly blame my sun sign.

When I speak of transcendence from time and the pop cultural constructs therein, this is not some metaphysical hallucinogenic trip in the desert meditational hoo-ha that I am promoting – it is 100% a psychological frame of mind that I've actively had to work towards through reflecting on the ideas I'm attempting to present here, researching all my interests and discovering new things from past culture as often as possible and how it informs the present, and above all, reflecting on and being comfortable with myself past, present, and future. Part of, and probably the main driving force behind, making fun of the trends of the past concerns itself with the horror when faced one's earlier self (especially as an adolescent). This being is in terms of naivety in words and action, the things enjoyed, the clothes and hairstyles worn, the inexperience in skill (especially for the arts), etcetera. The current trend is to 'cringe' when the evidence emerges (and part of me feels there's something to critique about those then and now comparisons where people show off how they are 'hot' and 'normal' now compared to their awkward nerdy tweens selves, who were possibly more fearless to experiment.). I believe this is part of young adult immaturity (not that older adults don't do it too, but young adults seem particularly sensitive and I believe it's due to the perseverance of adolescent insecurities), and I believe true maturity comes when you can look back on all those things and appreciate them or at least have no embarrassment for it. Outgrow shame. Like it or not, they are you, after all.

Now I don't know if maybe I just had a different sense of individuality from a younger age than others (Again, I don't mean to sound elitist, I just don't have any other perspective) in which I early on valued individuality to most costs of alienation, but I have little to no shame like this. Everything I am now expanded from who I was then. I have no shame for art I drew when I was 12, because it reminds me of the imagination I had then and the skills I built (am building) and the themes that persist. I have no shame for the music I enjoyed when I was six or sixteen, because I still access and enjoy it all without the disclaimer of nostalgia and it led to more and more musical discovery (and because I never, after all, followed current trends in that area). I have journals dating back to age 11, and yes there are things written there I wouldn't say now, but I will share it all with you****, because being ashamed of it would mean to be ashamed of all that was necessary to get me to who I am now. I find them cute, mostly. And, who really cares, besides ones self?

To me, the past self is just as concurrent with the present self, and both are needed to realize the future self. If there is anything close to a forth dimensional state of being a human can achieve, it is to see all moments of personal experience as one continuous narrative of persona. After all, even if actively bettering ourselves, we don't really, consciously notice much of a change, until we look back (not unlike changing trends). Certain negative traits, too, I believe should be managed, understood, rather than destroyed, with time and reflection – allowing oneself to see the weaknesses and strengths in those aspects of character. In this way, we don't really change at all.

When I recall experience of the past, it's not often the details of what happened that persist, but the emotions I felt in relation to those moments. We often act as if we've grown-up so much as to be removed from those emotions, and maybe if we did relive an experience (which in a way we can when revisiting those bits of pop culture) we'd react in different ways. Here's the paradox of my view: we can't relive those moments because of our linear state, so the fixed memories of the emotions from that experience follow us through (consciously or not) like pieces out of time. We can reflect and grow for the future, but we will always be affected by our past experiences.

I have wondered if there's something wrong with me for feeling just as sensitive at 28 as at 15 as at 8 when someone comes along to make me feel as alienated as I did when (more indirectly than directly) taking a metaphorical dump all over the things which bring me joy. Stirring up those very same emotions. That perhaps I am developmentally stunted somehow. Shouldn't I have resolved my own adolescent insecurities? Shouldn't I be able to truly brush off the opinions of others and be mature about it? Someday, coming out the other end of youth, maybe I will transcended and truly be unaffected by caring about these things. Such is my goal. I might want someone to come along and read this and be more thoughtful about the world, but ultimately I can only change how I interact with those whom I will never reach.

That being said, I've concluded there likely isn't anything wrong with me in this regard. And if it isn't obvious, I've obsessed over that concern for a while. My sensitivity is a fault and a virtue of my personality. My passion and opinions can be exhausting even to myself but at least I'm living with exuberance. This strong sense of persona helps give my existence meaning, and that's important on my more nihilistic days. Plus, I'm only twenty something, closer to thirty, and while experiences have matured me in some ways, one doesn't just eliminate the various traumas of growing up by stepping over the boundary of the legal drinking age and making fun of teen angst. We remember, if we realize it or not. What we have to make efforts to do is not forget. How else will we really know ourselves? How else will we truly understand others? How else will we reach out to younger people who remind us of our past selves, and maybe do some good for them?

Another so-called insult I see is the accusation of 'seeking validation'; of course we are, and I don't see anything necessarily wrong with wanting that. Of course we are. We're all bouncing around a confusing and complicated existence, affected by the circumstances of our past and present and culture and trends and emotions and limited perspective trying to make sense of ourselves, our purpose, our lives. Hopefully just trying to make the most of it. We all need a bit of validation now and then, or we need catharsis to scream out our bitterness into the world to purge it from ourselves. Especially those awful, negative, opinions - even if it's more destructive than creative - we just need to expel those demons. We hope to have it echo back by someone who recognizes the tune – because we want to be seen and heard and understood by at the very least just one other person searching for the same thing.

Despite all these words, at this end there is really only simple message I want to get across:

We are a little insecure; but self acceptance is just as contagious. It would do us a lot of good if we could all just be more a lot more genuine, and a lot more thoughtful, and a lot more kind.

--------------

*Although scientifically measured, there is some arbitrary perspectives even at this level. Take, for instance, year zero AD revolving around Jesus when there are other religions besides Christianity in the world, or the fact that some cultures use a lunar calendar and not a solar one. Not to mention, it is fixed on the earthbound existence - that is, versus another planet. Space does not give a hoot about time as we sort it.

** The only excuse is your interests might just not align into caring about these things the way I do. I want people to educate themselves, but one thing I've had to work to remember is not everyone gets so passionate about these subjects. Saying just this sentence probably makes that sound like I regard myself as the most detached intellectual in the room. I don't mean to imply that. What I think I mean is: I've had to work to recognize that my obsession with music, movies, art, and history along with my long time lamentations of being limited to a third dimensional state, is a very large part of my self-imposed identity and I forget that's not the case with everyone.

*** I have a lot of Fashion Laws of Physics, and another is Trickle Down Fashionenomics, which again is just a new name I gave to the established concept of how fashion goes from the street, to the runway (or sometimes starts at the runway), to higher end brands, to trend forward moderately priced stores (Urban Outfitters), to mid tier or low cost fashion forward stores (Forever21), to big box department stores (Walmart and Target). By which time, streetwear and runways have long moved on.

**** Unless you are my parents, but that's for other reasons.

[buzzfeedwheeze]

The New Teacher - Shyan AU

CHAPTER 2

Shane watched as Andrew made his way through his second bowl of cereal with milk. Only kids like that, my ass! He was beaming. It just felt so right to sit by his son’s side and enjoy a nice breakfast before leaving for work. Unfortunately, the familiarity of it brought back memories that he wish would’ve stayed buried on the depths of  his mind.

He and Sara used to make pancakes of the new characters of Disney that they had been working on at the studio and Andrew would happily munch at them after pointing out mistakes in anatomy or color. The first time he did it, they were so surprised that they thought they had hurt his feelings and perhaps shut down their child, but the next time they tried to subtly make him comment it worked out fine. It should’ve been expected, after all, he was their kid and art was always a big part of their lives so it obviously would attract little Andrew. Shane remembered when they had just adopted Andrew, they were trying to figure out how to make the small 8 year-old interact with them so Sara suggested painting palm trees’ leaves on the living room wall and Andrew sat on the floor and started to make small coconuts. Even though it was sort of painful to revisit the memories, he would always have a fond smile as the mental image of a smaller Andrew with his brows furrowed as he mixed the colors to get the perfect green popped in his mind.

He sighed.

There was no use trying to hold back those memories. Watching Andrew eating his cereal while simultaneously trying to tweet just reminded him other mornings. After Andrew’s second day in high school, he wouldn’t shut up during breakfast about the art class and how the other students loved his style and of course, it was when he met the transfer student from Malaysia, Steven Lim, who even asked to keep one of his drawings.

“Dad, are you in there?” Andrew was waving a hand in front of him. “Earth to dad!”

Shane gave him a tiny nod and went back to staring at his now cold pancakes and coffee. Andrew’s voice was weak when he asked. “Are you thinking about mom again? It’s just that you have that look…”

This time Shane actually made an effort and fought back the urge to hide his emotions from the world. “I… No. Not really. Not now.” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t thinking about her per se and I’m definitely not in love with her anymore, kiddo. I know you might think that I am..”

“It’s not that dad…” Shane made a gesture to stop him.

“It’s just hard to sort of filter my memories. Most of my happy memories with or without you are full of your mom’s presence and it’s tough to get over the fact that I was the happiest when we were together, probably the happiest I’ll ever be. I don’t think I can find someone that will make me feel like that again.” Andrew was looking at him with a concerned expression. “No! It’s not that I am unhappy. I mean, I have you! Andrew, you are the one thing in life that matters, the one thing that makes me wake up in the morning and actually thank god that I’m alive. For you being the way that you are, I’ll forever be grateful. I still can’t believe you chose us, that you chose me.”

“Dad, cut the sentimental crap!” he shouted, but he was visibly taken aback by his dad’s declaration. “You’ll find someone better for you, someone that deserves you. You and mom were okay, but okay doesn’t mean right, you get it?”

“So…” Shane didn’t want to discuss this any further, so he did what he was good at. He changed the focus of the conversation and with a teasing smile playing on his lips he continued. “Are you and Steven right, right?”

“Ugh, you are insufferable!” he snapped as he got up and stormed off to his room, leaving a very amused Shane and his very dirty bowl to be cleaned. As Shane washed the bowl he allowed himself to wonder if maybe his son was right. What if there is someone waiting for me? Nah, that’s bullshit.

XxXxXxXxX

“Have a great day, kiddo!” Shane handed Andrew his backpack and leaned on the side of the car. “Remember to give that Bergara dude hell.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and managed to give his dad a nod before turning around and going in the direction of Steven, who waved at Shane with as much energy as puppy. He watched them holding hands and disappearing inside the school building. It was the perfect image to have in his mind before jumping inside his car and going back to his eight hour shift at the Disney Studio where he would be trying keep sanity as he worked on a new animation project. But life had other plans. As he was about to turn away he noticed a cool Jeep pulling over at the teacher’s parking lot. Shane gritted his teeth as he saw the small guy hopping off the car.

Begara noticed him and as he walked in the direction of the school staring at Shane the whole time in what was supposed to be a menacing way. The staring match didn’t last much since when Ryan was about to climb the stairs to the building he tripped on his own foot and fell. Shane’s laughed was the only thing heard on the area. The other man quickly got up and stuck his middle finger to Shane which would’ve been offensive if he wasn’t blushing like a small kid. Shane chuckled again when he heard the main door of school being slammed.

“What a lovely day.” he said between giggles.

When Shane arrived at the studio there was, indeed, a pile of things to be done, but he was on such a big mood that he actually started to whistle some Disney songs. He turned his computer on and started to work on the animation, trying to make everything in sync and all the transitions smooth to facilitate the job of the Keith, the dude responsible for checking his progress and corrected small details.

The morning passed really fast. So fast Shane didn’t notice it was time to have his lunch break and got startled when Eugene touched his shoulder.

“Jesus, Madej. It’s break time. Stop working.”

Shane got up from his chair and stretched his body, lazily. He pocketed his phone and wallet and was about to leave when he decided to go back and take his sketchbook too. Today he was feeling creative. He decided to go to the Subway near the studio where he wouldn’t have to socialize with his co-workers and where people wouldn’t be asking questions about his doodles.

The place was almost empty, there was only a family of tourists with their ridiculously big Mickey Mouse Ears hats and faces full of sunscreen. Shane ordered a sandwich and chose a more reserved booth. He settled the sketchbook on the table and picked his favorite pencil, which was really small and was completely dented from falls and nervous teeth biting into it.

He gave a tentative bite on the sandwich and moaned slightly as he tasted the unique artificial flavors that only a fast-food chain restaurant could have. No wonder everyone called him a raccoon, he’d consider almost any food delicious. Or at least edible.

Shane started to sketch and after eating half of the food and finishing the face he realized he had drawn the fucking crazy teacher. Ryan Bergara. He ripped the page off and crunched the paper. Why would he draw that guy? He decided to keep the drawing though. It was fine art. So he got the little ball of paper and placed it on his jacket’s pocket.

There was still some time left before he had to go back to work, so he decided to get a nice ice cream cone. Shane bought one with two flavors ,vanilla and cookie though, of Mr. Tinsley a cool older guy that used to work as a detective or something like that in the 70s. Since it wasn’t a hot day, but the sun wouldn’t help the case of his ice cream, he found a nice bench underneath a tree.

He got his phone out and began to browse through Instagram. Then he stopped at a new photo of Steven. In the photo Steven was wearing a tinfoil hat, which wasn’t something so unusual, but the caption of the picture was the problem.

“What the fuck!” Shane perked up on the bench and gripped the ice cream cone harder. “‘@ryanbergara lended his cool hat to me, best teacher ever :)’”

It was impossible to ignore the urge to click on the username. In fact, Shane didn’t even try to hold back. He was bombarded by a series of photos of a Mr. Bergara at Disney and Universal Studios, puppies, Lakers and mirror selfies. He sucked in a breath. If the dude wasn’t bat shit crazy he would totally be my type. His bisexual senses were tingling so he decided to close the app. Nope.

I wonder if he has a twitter account? Maybe I could fight him. Shane clicked on the blue icon on his screen and typed bergara and there it was a @ryansbergara. Shane had a devilish smile as he analised the profile. The fucking profile picture was a photo of him wearing a tinfoil hat and his header was a screenshot of the X-files opening. Not surprising at all but that made Shane itchy to annoy the guy. That was practically begging to receive some of the old skeptic treatment that his family perfect through the generations.

Shane Madej - @shalexandej   01:39 PM

@ryansbergara hey dude nice hat. going to teach the kids how to do one… oh wait you already did!

He watched as a notification pop-up appeared on his screen only a few minutes later.

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara  01:42 PM

@shalexandej ha ha ha very funny stalker, i didnt teach them that!! i talked about how it is useless and actually applied some scientific concepts [GIF]

Shane Madej - @shalexandej   01:43 PM

@ryansbergara THANK GOD YOU DID THAT but i’ll have you know that i instructed my kid to make your life hell

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara  01:45 PM

@shalexandej oh really? Cause he actually helped in class

Shane Madej - @shalexandej   01:45 PM

@ryansbergara [GIF] NOOOOOO NOT MY KID BERGARA YOU ARE A CULT LEADER

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara  01:46 PM

@shalexandej hahahahahhahahsahs maybe ;)

Ryan Bergara - @ryansbergara  01:46 PM

@shalexandej i have to go prepare for my next class, see ya stalker [GIF]

Shane was about to reply when he receiver another type of notification. Ryan had just followed him. Well Bergara, this might be your downfall. He clicked on the follow button and he unconsciously knew how big of mistake that decision was.

[cmdore]

My first book review everyone! 

I chose to start with my favorite new kid’s book, The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris. Now the question you’re all asking: did I read this book simply because NPH wrote it???

You bet your sweet socks I did.

That being said, this is probably one of the most solid kid’s books I’ve read in a long while. 

NPH has decided to pass his love of magic tricks along to pretty much every kid in the universe with this one, and I have to say I’m impressed. He even included instructions on how to perform simple tricks throughout the text, which is pretty cool from the standpoint of a woman who is not yet a mother but could get kinda hairy from the standpoint of my coworker who happens to actually be a mother. (Look, try pretending to fall for the same magic trick approximately 36,000 times a day as your child ‘practices’ and see if you don’t crack eventually. Go ahead, just try.) 

So the story itself. We start off with an ~ORPHAN~ (kids books just love those darn orphans!) named Carter who is, apparently, a tiny frail blond boy (much like someone else I know of *coughcoughI’montoyouDoogieHowser*) that is very good at magic tricks and refuses to steal no matter how hungry he is (God, how sweet. seriously.) Carter runs away from slimeball uncle in the very first chapter of the book, which is fantastic if you ask me, and lands in a town called Mineral Wells. If you’re thinking it sounds like a town in a Hallmark movie, don’t worry you’re not alone. 

The villains of this novel progress from this grimy slimeball uncle to some equally grimy slimeball circus freaks, which don’t really paint adults in the best picture... But we adults get redeemed! In the form of Mr. Magician himself Dante Vernon, who owns a magic shop, and apparently looks as much like a magician as any human could possibly look... complete with top hat and cape. 

It’s fashion! 

So Vernon has a kid Carter’s age (of course) who fancies herself an escape artist. He also has a husband OOOH WHAT YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING look at the author ya’ll, you knew that was gonna happen I saw it from like 300 miles away. Is it still diverse if you expect it? Heck if I know but I was too on board with all of this to care at this point. Their adopted (ambiguously POC) daughter also has some equally diverse friends by the by, an African American boy that wears a tuxedo all the time and a red-headed girl in a wheelchair.

Do you feel like we’re checking off some boxes on some list of progressive children’s story elements yet? Because I think we might be. Either way, it does work, so why complain? Let’s press on.

So the kids go to the circus (where the aforementioned circus freaks are located) and get all their stuff stolen because, as I said, the circus freaks are slimeballs. And because the kids thwarted their plans to rob pretty much the entire town earlier. So now they gotta get their stuff back and guys, I’m gonna admit it... 

This is when I gave up. 

Ya’ll, it’s a solid little book, but I’m 26. And this book was, most certainly, not written for me. Which is wonderful. 

Hear me out.

 NPH’s writing is not to blame one bit; it’s fantastic. I felt like I was being told a story by somebody’s really cool dad (which heck, NPH is, now that I think of it) and the characters were likable as all get out. But like I said, I’m 26. I’ve read so many books. And I could see where this book was going. 

The circus boss is planning a big finale show before the circus leaves town and it involves a huge diamond. Like, the most expensive diamond in the world. And they’re gonna try to steal it. And the kids are gonna have to stop them, possibly get them arrested, maybe Mr. Villain is gonna shake his fist at them from the paddy-wagon and yell ‘you meddling kids!’ I don’t know. But I did tire of it, sadly, and maybe one day when I’m in the mood to read on I’ll pick it back up again... 

Now for the reason why this is wonderful. This is a sign, 100%, that this is a book written for children. It tells a story any kid would surely think was thrilling and wonderful and the best thing ever. Does that mean NO adults can enjoy it? Not really. It’s all a matter of what you like to read! I just finished Hunting Prince Dracula before I read this one so maybe I’m whip-lashed? Taking that into account, I recommend it. Yes, I recommend this book even though I couldn’t manage to finish it. I think pretty much any kid would like it, it’s playful and fun and lovely. 

EDIT: 

So I finished it.

What? I couldn’t help it. And guess what? 

“The circus boss is planning a big finale show before the circus leaves town and it involves a huge diamond. Like, the most expensive diamond in the world. And they’re gonna try to steal it. And the kids are gonna have to stop them, possibly get them arrested, maybe Mr. Villain is gonna shake his fist at them from the paddy-wagon and yell ‘you meddling kids!’ I don’t know.”

There ya go! Now I will admit, I did love the book’s ending. Within the last like, three chapters we meet Ollie and Izzy, two more characters kinda tacked on to our group of misfits that are, out of all the characters, my favorites so far mostly because I have a soft spot for the whole 'motor-mouthed twin scamps’ trope. Why NPH choose to pull a Winston Zeddemore with them and use them in the book’s last few chapters I’ll never know. Anyway, as most kids books do this one ends on a sweet and happy note, with the bad guys headed to jail and Carter going to live with Mr. Vernon because HOLY BUTTS CARTERS DAD WAS VERNONS COUSIN doesn’t that just wrap up almost a little too nicely? Then they form their little group, which they name The Magic Misfits because why not, and NPH teaches your kid another magic trick that involves because he cares about your child’s education. He’s a nice man like that. 

It’s cute. A little plain, I’m not raving about it, but once again it’s pretty solid as a kid’s book and I still recommend it. 

So why 8 out of 10 stars?

 I do see this being a hit in my library, surprisingly. It’ll most likely get checked out a good bit as it’s cover art is BEAUTIFUL and that’s how kids make decisions. But I honestly don’t think it will stand the test of time and remain popular over the years like other children’s series have (i.e. A Series of Unfortunate Events, Harry Potter, etc.)

That’s just the business! No hard feelings! But I do see myself weeding it from the collection 20 years from now to make room for something else, which believe you me pains me. So 8 out of 10. Which is not that bad of a rating for a book I almost didn’t finish. 

So now for some specs: 

Friendly parental guidelines! 

LOTS OF THEFT GOODNESS GRACIOUS, Carter eats out of the trash at one point (so um, maybe tell your kid not to do the thing if they’re so inclined), one of the characters sports a supremely sassy attitude throughout the book (sometimes that’ll rub off if your kid is that kinda kid, better get that in check), and of course...etc. I’m not even gonna mention the elephant in the room, because as parents it’s your call when it comes to the books your children read.  If any of the aforementioned bothers you or your child, this book may not be the right choice for ya’ll. But if your kid’s as happy go lucky as I was at their age, go for it! And if your kid loves magic and slight of hand, it’s perfect for them!

Accelerated Reader Information!

None. Sorry folks, too new. No test yet. 

[negression]

Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist)

This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar’s fourth publication, The Sum of Its Parts: Artwork, 2014-2018. Immediately upon completion of it, I recalled Carrie Mae Weems in a video commemorating her 2014 MacArthur “Genius Grant” win. At the time, Ms. Weems was featured in solo exhibit at the Guggenheim, a show I visited several times. Yet, her relief and decompression was palpable as she described what the notably large grant meant most to her upon first word of it: “I won’t have to fight so hard for every, single thing.”

As an outside fan, my impression was Weems was writing her own ticket. As long as I had followed her career, I never imagined she had to fight for anything. And while I have the privilege of friendship with Gholar to come inside, I still had the same impression of her career from my outside look. The Sum of Its Parts was a wake-up call I needed and could have written myself. I suspect Weems and more could as well. Why don’t we?

Gholar has provided missive for a new way to write about the creative life, art-making and (most specifically) Black women navigating those historically troubled waters for all talents. Usually, we receive saccharine look-back chronicles of celebrities’ “early days” as starving artists and couch surfers, after the most iconic artists blossomed into household names. Rarely do we hear from those of us who remain somewhere in the middle, as budget artistry and near volunteer work for our works are not the most sexy and glamorous revelations for a public who needs its stars to help them escape or fantasize.

Daily, in real life and online, we walk on a lonely balance beam between the blessed opportunities we have to show dreams come true and our necessity to be paid or sell. The Sum of Its Parts suggests the world must see both in equal measure and respect if writers, artists and creatives at large are to persevere. It is my honor to join Gholar in enlightening others on the unseen fight for every success.

Gholar is a multi-facted visual artist whose many offerings include personalized interior design for commercial and residential spaces, custom made artwork tailored to clients and participation in women-centered art exhibitions. She is an expert in a variety of space models, building types and art materials as well as current trends in art, design and color. She is also a prolific writer who has documented four bodies of work with companion books to explain the theoretical, process and societal depths behind each body. Her contributions to fiction include the novel A Bitter Pill to Swallow, a Chicago Writer’s Association 2016 Book of the Year; School Library Journal praised it for inserting an uncommon element of multi-generational concerns into modern YA fiction.

Her vibrant, uplifting collections of smaller retail products, apparel and displays are available through Zazzle’s Mixed Media Art Design store– including offerings based on one of my favorites of hers: “Flower Power.” This juicy, complex collage work is but one example of Gholar’s radical efforts to bring fine art to the mass public, with printing options available on products such as journals and totes. It is artwork I passed on to inspire for my latest novel’s cover and I was happy to see it influenced the final result. Please enjoy the rest of our discussion on what it is to be Black women creating today.

“Flower Power” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click image to purchase office products such as journals featuring this art and more.

Kalisha Buckhanon: I remember coming to last year’s The Other Art Fair and seeing “Violet Verve.” That’s a real painting. It spoke to me, called out. Thank you for documenting its creation in the book. I regret I could not buy it, mainly because of these self-funding creative issues you document in The Sum of Its Parts. Ironically, my friends who aren’t creators splurge on art, film, theater more than I do- and I’m the one who needs that creativity on a regular basis, to power my own creative motor. So if creative professionals can not splurge on each other or feel guilty when we do, and the masses are just on the internet, how can we adapt: artist cooperatives, individual subscription services, social media boycotting?

Tiffany Gholar: Thank you for remembering “Violet Verve.” That really means a lot to me. To answer your question about how we can adapt, yes, I think artist cooperatives and individual subscription services are a great idea. I have seen other artists do well with them. I’m not sure if boycotting social media is the answer. But I am trying to network more in-person because I haven’t reaped the benefits from being online that I had expected to. That’s why I am also feeling a lot more skeptical about the social media for artists “experts.” I am wary of wasting my time with their webinars and articles, or buying services I don’t need.

  “Violet Verve” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click the image to find out about Gholar’s latest show and explore pieces.

K.B.: I never noticed “Violet Verve” had a flaw, the number “7” you said the paintbrush accidentally dried into it. I also did not notice you had a want of buyers, were responsible for the booth fee, did not get a grant to pay the exhibition fee, had no help hauling your work to set up and dismantle it, and- though I should have known this one- weren’t paid for two-days time you spent there. Reading your side in the book, which I participated in the unpaid labor of, made me realize how much I speak and put on shows for free. All writers do. But I go to writers’ public readings, and museums, just assuming grants pay big speaker fees and wealthy patrons buy larger artworks. I never consider the sum of my part adding to a whole, and I am an artist. Besides buying books and small art pieces here or there, what can I do? Am I wrong for sharing many things and artists I love online, giving glimpses and snippets with awareness people may not be buying?

T.G.: No, I think it’s great that you share the work of the artists you love online because you never know who might see it, or if what you’ve shared will be passed on by someone who could make it go viral. If even ten percent of the accounts that follow me on social media would share my work as much as you have, I would be so much better off.

K.B.: That’s good to hear. I do think you are exemplary to others for offering so many options to the public, from your quite informative social media channels to your many smaller products many fine artists are not considering or providing enough of.

T.G.: Yes, I love it when people buy small art pieces from me. That’s why I make them. I know that not everyone can afford to spend a few hundred dollars on a larger painting, but plenty of people have $25 for a miniature piece that can decorate their cubicle or bookshelf. That‘s also why I use print-on-demand sites like Zazzle and Society6, so that I can also sell my work at lower price points to customers who want something practical, like a throw pillow or a phone case.

Gholar’s “The Doll Project”, created out of concern for thin body images forced on women and girls, features a variety of charming and affordable gifts or products at Society6.

T.G. (continued): As for the art fair, my brother actually helped me bring the paintings from my studio to the venue. He helped me hang them as well, so at least I did have help in that area. But you’re right about the time that I was not paid for. I spent four days total and never sold a single painting. I had to borrow money to even get my booth! You’re right about the unpaid labor of creative work, though sometimes the venues that will pay may be surprising. A few years ago, I did a show at a university gallery. They sent a messenger service to pick up the artwork and return it when the show ended, in addition to paying me a fee for participating. I would love it if all my shows were like that.

K.B.: You wrote about leaping into Instagram with high hopes and finding out it was just another area to compete in the “Best Life” show. But you pointed out great connections you made from Twitter and Facebook. So, it is a two-sided coin. I am curious how you stay so prolific on social media, but still manage to create as much art as you do. Any tips or ideas about best practices for those who are overwhelmed in this area?

T.G.: I try to schedule my social media in advance so I don’t spend as much time online, although sometimes it’s easy to get distracted because so much is going on I want to keep up with. Scheduling allows me to continuously share my work while I am actually not on my computer or phone. Half of the “content” I share is finished work or occasional photos of work in progress. The other half is work that inspires me by other creatives. I only follow accounts that I enjoy hearing from, at least when it comes to individual people. I don’t believe in “hate-following” people.

There are some local organizations I don’t necessarily agree with, but follow to see what they’re up to. I don’t debate people on social media, either. I’m not afraid to stop following accounts that annoy me, turn off retweets from accounts that share things I don’t want to see, mute accounts that are tedious, and block people who are downright hateful. It’s not perfect, but it has helped make my experience tolerable, and even enjoyable sometimes. Although my work has never gone viral on social media and I have only gotten a handful of art sales and projects because of it, it has benefited me in other ways. It’s made me aware of grants, galleries, art shows, and other opportunities I wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

K.B.: I have a personal mission to avoid mentioning “Trump,” not even in a card game. My horror is so deep. But I can not avoid applauding you for being so clear about his contamination of our souls, and our souls root all creatives. I, too, stopped creating from it. This unqualified leader has scattered our thinking, given us forms of mental and emotional illness. In the book, you vowed you are “Reclaiming My Time.” What do you hope will be the sum of all you are and have learned in your next body of work, 2019-2023?

T.G.: I can definitely understand that! I didn’t want his name to defile my book, so I never used it once. “Horror” is a great way to describe how I felt about everything that has transpired since the 2016 election. I was also furious, disgusted, and depressed. I disapprove of him on so many levels. But as a Black woman, I feel a deep resentment for the power he and the unqualified people around him have been given when I am under so much pressure to be ten times as good to get paid half as much and get half as far as a mediocre white man. And I despise being governed by fools.

For the sake of my own sanity, I spend less time watching the news as I did when he first came into power. I think that obsessively watching the news on TV and online was what drained my creative drive in 2017. Now I try very hard to maintain some semblance of balance, between staying informed and being overloaded with information that enrages me because there is so little that I can do to change things. I still support resistance movements, but I allow myself the creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment, even if it means some people might dismiss it as escapist if it’s not a vessel for all my negative feelings or if it’s not protest art.

K.B.: There is so much pressure, especially on artists of color, to make protest art. Sometimes we just want to tell stories and make magic like we’ve done all our lives. But given this has been our lives for so long now, I’m coming to a loss on how not to infect my work with it. It’s going to be interesting to see how both our work evolves within this.

T.G.: I’ve actually started working on my next art book, though at the moment it doesn’t have a title. My goal for now is to build my interior design practice so I feel less pressure to sell my artwork. Of course, I still want to sell artwork. However, worrying about sales can make painting less enjoyable for me. I am really interested in continuing to work in the same style I’ve been working in. I feel like I still have a lot more textures and shapes that I want to explore, and still feel excited about the prospect of making new work.

(Tiffany Gholar will read from The Sum of Its Parts tonight at Tuesday Funk, Chicago’s longstanding reading series, at 5148 N. Clark Street, 7:30 p.m.)

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“I allow myself creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment…” More with #TiffanyGholar on her new book #TheSumOfItsParts, a must-read for women artists dealing with doubt. #Arts #Women #Culture #Justice

This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar’s fourth publication, …

"I allow myself creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment..." More with #TiffanyGholar on her new book #TheSumOfItsParts, a must-read for women artists dealing with doubt. #Arts #Women #Culture #Justice This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar's fourth publication, …

[kalishaonline]

Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist)

This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar’s fourth publication, The Sum of Its Parts: Artwork, 2014-2018. Immediately upon completion of it, I recalled Carrie Mae Weems in a video commemorating her 2014 MacArthur “Genius Grant” win. At the time, Ms. Weems was featured in solo exhibit at the Guggenheim, a show I visited several times. Yet, her relief and decompression was palpable as she described what the notably large grant meant most to her upon first word of it: “I won’t have to fight so hard for every, single thing.”

As an outside fan, my impression was Weems was writing her own ticket. As long as I had followed her career, I never imagined she had to fight for anything. And while I have the privilege of friendship with Gholar to come inside, I still had the same impression of her career from my outside look. The Sum of Its Parts was a wake-up call I needed and could have written myself. I suspect Weems and more could as well. Why don’t we?

Gholar has provided missive for a new way to write about the creative life, art-making and (most specifically) Black women navigating those historically troubled waters for all talents. Usually, we receive saccharine look-back chronicles of celebrities’ “early days” as starving artists and couch surfers, after the most iconic artists blossomed into household names. Rarely do we hear from those of us who remain somewhere in the middle, as budget artistry and near volunteer work for our works are not the most sexy and glamorous revelations for a public who needs its stars to help them escape or fantasize.

Daily, in real life and online, we walk on a lonely balance beam between the blessed opportunities we have to show dreams come true and our necessity to be paid or sell. The Sum of Its Parts suggests the world must see both in equal measure and respect if writers, artists and creatives at large are to persevere. It is my honor to join Gholar in enlightening others on the unseen fight for every success.

Gholar is a multi-facted visual artist whose many offerings include personalized interior design for commercial and residential spaces, custom made artwork tailored to clients and participation in women-centered art exhibitions. She is an expert in a variety of space models, building types and art materials as well as current trends in art, design and color. She is also a prolific writer who has documented four bodies of work with companion books to explain the theoretical, process and societal depths behind each body. Her contributions to fiction include the novel A Bitter Pill to Swallow, a Chicago Writer’s Association 2016 Book of the Year; School Library Journal praised it for inserting an uncommon element of multi-generational concerns into modern YA fiction.

Her vibrant, uplifting collections of smaller retail products, apparel and displays are available through Zazzle’s Mixed Media Art Design store– including offerings based on one of my favorites of hers: “Flower Power.” This juicy, complex collage work is but one example of Gholar’s radical efforts to bring fine art to the mass public, with printing options available on products such as journals and totes. It is artwork I passed on to inspire for my latest novel’s cover and I was happy to see it influenced the final result. Please enjoy the rest of our discussion on what it is to be Black women creating today.

“Flower Power” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click image to purchase office products such as journals featuring this art and more.

Kalisha Buckhanon: I remember coming to last year’s The Other Art Fair and seeing “Violet Verve.” That’s a real painting. It spoke to me, called out. Thank you for documenting its creation in the book. I regret I could not buy it, mainly because of these self-funding creative issues you document in The Sum of Its Parts. Ironically, my friends who aren’t creators splurge on art, film, theater more than I do- and I’m the one who needs that creativity on a regular basis, to power my own creative motor. So if creative professionals can not splurge on each other or feel guilty when we do, and the masses are just on the internet, how can we adapt: artist cooperatives, individual subscription services, social media boycotting?

Tiffany Gholar: Thank you for remembering “Violet Verve.” That really means a lot to me. To answer your question about how we can adapt, yes, I think artist cooperatives and individual subscription services are a great idea. I have seen other artists do well with them. I’m not sure if boycotting social media is the answer. But I am trying to network more in-person because I haven’t reaped the benefits from being online that I had expected to. That’s why I am also feeling a lot more skeptical about the social media for artists “experts.” I am wary of wasting my time with their webinars and articles, or buying services I don’t need.

  “Violet Verve” by Tiffany Gholar (image courtesy of the artist). Click the image to find out about Gholar’s latest show and explore pieces.

K.B.: I never noticed “Violet Verve” had a flaw, the number “7” you said the paintbrush accidentally dried into it. I also did not notice you had a want of buyers, were responsible for the booth fee, did not get a grant to pay the exhibition fee, had no help hauling your work to set up and dismantle it, and- though I should have known this one- weren’t paid for two-days time you spent there. Reading your side in the book, which I participated in the unpaid labor of, made me realize how much I speak and put on shows for free. All writers do. But I go to writers’ public readings, and museums, just assuming grants pay big speaker fees and wealthy patrons buy larger artworks. I never consider the sum of my part adding to a whole, and I am an artist. Besides buying books and small art pieces here or there, what can I do? Am I wrong for sharing many things and artists I love online, giving glimpses and snippets with awareness people may not be buying?

T.G.: No, I think it’s great that you share the work of the artists you love online because you never know who might see it, or if what you’ve shared will be passed on by someone who could make it go viral. If even ten percent of the accounts that follow me on social media would share my work as much as you have, I would be so much better off.

K.B.: That’s good to hear. I do think you are exemplary to others for offering so many options to the public, from your quite informative social media channels to your many smaller products many fine artists are not considering or providing enough of.

T.G.: Yes, I love it when people buy small art pieces from me. That’s why I make them. I know that not everyone can afford to spend a few hundred dollars on a larger painting, but plenty of people have $25 for a miniature piece that can decorate their cubicle or bookshelf. That‘s also why I use print-on-demand sites like Zazzle and Society6, so that I can also sell my work at lower price points to customers who want something practical, like a throw pillow or a phone case.

Gholar’s “The Doll Project”, created out of concern for thin body images forced on women and girls, features a variety of charming and affordable gifts or products at Society6.

T.G. (continued): As for the art fair, my brother actually helped me bring the paintings from my studio to the venue. He helped me hang them as well, so at least I did have help in that area. But you’re right about the time that I was not paid for. I spent four days total and never sold a single painting. I had to borrow money to even get my booth! You’re right about the unpaid labor of creative work, though sometimes the venues that will pay may be surprising. A few years ago, I did a show at a university gallery. They sent a messenger service to pick up the artwork and return it when the show ended, in addition to paying me a fee for participating. I would love it if all my shows were like that.

K.B.: You wrote about leaping into Instagram with high hopes and finding out it was just another area to compete in the “Best Life” show. But you pointed out great connections you made from Twitter and Facebook. So, it is a two-sided coin. I am curious how you stay so prolific on social media, but still manage to create as much art as you do. Any tips or ideas about best practices for those who are overwhelmed in this area?

T.G.: I try to schedule my social media in advance so I don’t spend as much time online, although sometimes it’s easy to get distracted because so much is going on I want to keep up with. Scheduling allows me to continuously share my work while I am actually not on my computer or phone. Half of the “content” I share is finished work or occasional photos of work in progress. The other half is work that inspires me by other creatives. I only follow accounts that I enjoy hearing from, at least when it comes to individual people. I don’t believe in “hate-following” people.

There are some local organizations I don’t necessarily agree with, but follow to see what they’re up to. I don’t debate people on social media, either. I’m not afraid to stop following accounts that annoy me, turn off retweets from accounts that share things I don’t want to see, mute accounts that are tedious, and block people who are downright hateful. It’s not perfect, but it has helped make my experience tolerable, and even enjoyable sometimes. Although my work has never gone viral on social media and I have only gotten a handful of art sales and projects because of it, it has benefited me in other ways. It’s made me aware of grants, galleries, art shows, and other opportunities I wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

K.B.: I have a personal mission to avoid mentioning “Trump,” not even in a card game. My horror is so deep. But I can not avoid applauding you for being so clear about his contamination of our souls, and our souls root all creatives. I, too, stopped creating from it. This unqualified leader has scattered our thinking, given us forms of mental and emotional illness. In the book, you vowed you are “Reclaiming My Time.” What do you hope will be the sum of all you are and have learned in your next body of work, 2019-2023?

T.G.: I can definitely understand that! I didn’t want his name to defile my book, so I never used it once. “Horror” is a great way to describe how I felt about everything that has transpired since the 2016 election. I was also furious, disgusted, and depressed. I disapprove of him on so many levels. But as a Black woman, I feel a deep resentment for the power he and the unqualified people around him have been given when I am under so much pressure to be ten times as good to get paid half as much and get half as far as a mediocre white man. And I despise being governed by fools.

For the sake of my own sanity, I spend less time watching the news as I did when he first came into power. I think that obsessively watching the news on TV and online was what drained my creative drive in 2017. Now I try very hard to maintain some semblance of balance, between staying informed and being overloaded with information that enrages me because there is so little that I can do to change things. I still support resistance movements, but I allow myself the creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment, even if it means some people might dismiss it as escapist if it’s not a vessel for all my negative feelings or if it’s not protest art.

K.B.: There is so much pressure, especially on artists of color, to make protest art. Sometimes we just want to tell stories and make magic like we’ve done all our lives. But given this has been our lives for so long now, I’m coming to a loss on how not to infect my work with it. It’s going to be interesting to see how both our work evolves within this.

T.G.: I’ve actually started working on my next art book, though at the moment it doesn’t have a title. My goal for now is to build my interior design practice so I feel less pressure to sell my artwork. Of course, I still want to sell artwork. However, worrying about sales can make painting less enjoyable for me. I am really interested in continuing to work in the same style I’ve been working in. I feel like I still have a lot more textures and shapes that I want to explore, and still feel excited about the prospect of making new work.

(Tiffany Gholar will read from The Sum of Its Parts tonight at Tuesday Funk, Chicago’s longstanding reading series, at 5148 N. Clark Street, 7:30 p.m.)

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"I allow myself creative freedom to make whatever kind of art I feel like in the moment..." More with #TiffanyGholar on her new book #TheSumOfItsParts, a must-read for women artists dealing with doubt. #Arts #Women #Culture #Justice This is Part 2 with Tiffany Gholar (Part 1 here). I was personally blown away by Gholar's fourth publication, …

[lindafrancois]

What Should I Do On My Off Days?

“Steve, what am I supposed to do on days when I’m not training?”

We get this question all the time here at Nerd Fitness. Since we advise most people to train 3 days per week with full body strength training routines, many Rebels have a few off days each week.

When you complete a full body workout routine, or do lots of compound movements like squats, push-ups, overhead presses or deadlifts, our muscles get broken down.

Then, over the next 24-48 hours hours, those muscles get rebuilt a tiny bit stronger.That’s why it doesn’t benefit us to work out every day; we don’t want to destroy our muscles without giving them a chance to grow back stronger.

That then begs the question: What are we supposed to do on those days? How can we keep up the habit of exercise and not let a day of non-training derail our progress?

Are there things we CAN do on our off days?

That’s why I’m here, my dear Rebel friend: you ask the questions, I answer them!

You set em up, I knock ’em down!

Before I quickly jump into this program, I’m gonna make another assumption: this isn’t the only question you have about training! 

Not just what to do on your off days, but also what to do on your “on” days too! How many sets, how many reps, how much should you eat, are you doing your push-ups right, and so on.

Questions like this can make you second guess your fitness practice, which can lead to falling off the wagon. We’ve seen it time and time again here at Nerd Fitness. Which is why we created our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program: so you can take comfort knowing your training precisely matches your experience level and goals.

Here’s how it works: your own Nerd Fitness Coach will get to know you better than you know yourself. Do you go off the rails on your “off days?” They’ll create a plan to keep you on track, by offering custom workouts, form checks, nutritional guidance, and worldwide accountability in your pocket. If you’re interested, click on the image below, and then keep reading about what to do on your “day off.”

Plan Your Off Days Like a Training Day

The biggest problem most people have with off days is that they become cheat days! Because they’re not training, they’re not thinking about being fit and it’s much easier to slack off and lose momentum.

This is bad news bears.

Remember, exercise is probably 10-20% of the equation: how we eat and rest is the other 80-90%!

So plan your off days deliberately! They’re not off days, they’re rest days, and they serve a vital role in building an antifragile kickass body capable of fighting crime (or roughhousing with your kids in the backyard).

Whether it’s scheduling one of the activities below at the same time you normally train every day, or deliberately adding a morning mobility/stretching routine to your day, doing SOMETHING every day is a great way to remind ourselves “I am changing my life and I exercise daily.”

Personally, I know I am far less likely to eat poorly when I’m doing some active recovery than when I’m not doing anything deliberately. On days when I’m not training, I try to block off a similar amount of time to work on myself in some way to maintain momentum, and I encourage you to do the same if you struggle with losing momentum if even taking one day off.

It could be flexibility training, mobility training, meal prep, and more. I’ll cover these below! Whatever it is, do SOMETHING every day, even if it’s for just five minutes, to remind yourself that you are making progress towards your new life.

Let’s dive in to your off-day options!

Work on Mobility

We’ve all felt that soreness the day after (or two days after) strength training – our muscles have been broken down and are incredibly tight from all of the heavy lifting.

For that reason, one of the best things you can do on an off day is to work on your flexibility and mobility. After all, what good is strength if we can’t move our body properly to utilize it! Dynamic stretching and mobility work helps prepare our body for the rigors of strength training and keeps us injury free!

Regardless of whether or not you have a training day scheduled, start each morning with a mobility warm-up: a series of dynamic movements that gets your body activated and wakes up your muscles, joints, and tendons. If you live in an apartment or are just getting started, feel free to leave out the jumping jacks:

This gives us a chance every morning to check in with our bodies and reminds us mentally “I am leveling up physically, might as well eat right today too.”

Here’s another favorite mobility routine from my friend (and coach) Anthony Mychal. It says it’s a warm-up for tricking, but it’s quite helpful for those of us mere mortals: 

If you spend all day at a desk, doing some basic mobility movements throughout the day can keep your hips loose and keep you thinking positively. Here’s an article on how to dominate posture at your desk job.

Do a Fun Activity

We are genetically designed to move, not sit on our asses for 60+ hours a week. Not only that, but we are genetically designed to have fun doing so too!

Which means we can spend time on our off days working on our happiness AND stay active at the same time.

This fun activity can mean something different for everybody:

Go for a bike ride with your kids

Go for a run around your neighborhood

Play kickball in a city league (I play on Thursdays!)

Play softball

Swim

Go for a walk with your significant other

Go rock climbing

Learn martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Capoeira or Kung Fu

Take a dance class

Try Live Action Role-Playing (LARP!)

Play on a playground

Roll down a hill and run back up it

I honestly don’t care WHAT you do, as long as it’s something you truly enjoy doing – it puts a smile on your face, it gets your heart pumping. Exercise does not need to be exhausting or miserable. If you haven’t found an activity you enjoy yet, you haven’t tried enough new things.

The point is to get outside, remember it’s a damn good day to be alive, and that we are built to move.

Intervals, Sprints, Or Walking

“But Steve, I have this big party coming up and I really am trying to lose as much weight as possible.”

Okay okay, I hear you – if that’s the case, then 90% of the battle is going to be with your diet (which you can learn about here), but there are SOME things you can do on your off days that can help you burn more calories:

1) Interval Training –  In interval training, you’ll be varying your running pace. This means you may switch between jogging and walking, or walking and sprinting (there are few different methods of interval training). This training style can help speed up your metabolism for the hours after you finish.

2) Sprinting – If you like the idea of burning extra calories and building explosive power and speed, check out our article on becoming the Flash. Find a hill, sprint up it, walk down, and repeat the process for 10-20 minutes. No need to overthink it!

3) Long walks – Walking is a low-impact activity that burns extra calories and doesn’t overly tax your body. What a “long walk” will be is different for everybody based on their level of fitness, but walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself!

If you want to take a more active recovery day, the most important thing is to listen to your body. Destroying ourselves for 6+ days a week can really wear us down, causing long term problems if we’re not careful.

Yoga for the win!

You might not realize it, but yoga is the perfect complement to strength training:

Strength training makes us stronger, but it can tighten up our muscles and make us sore.

Yoga, on the other hand, lengthens our muscles and tendons, aids in their recovery, and helps our body develop better mobility and flexibility.

It’s the perfect way to create a strong AND mobile body, ready for anything and everything we throw at it. It’s kind of like turning your body into a swiss-army knife: prepared to be strong, flexible enough to avoid injury, and truly antifragile.

Now, if you’ve never been to a yoga class before, it can certainly be intimidating, especially if you’re a ones-and-zeros programmer wary of the practice’s more spiritual aspects. That was my concern years ago before I got started with it; I had to muster up 20 seconds of courage to attend my first yoga class, and I’m so glad I did.

Here’s how to get started with Yoga!

Nearly any commercial gym you join will have yoga classes.

Most yoga studios have classes throughout the day.

Follow a plethora of videos online if you want to get started at home.

If Yoga is something you want to try, but you never see yourself working up the nerve to go to a yoga class, I hear ya. It’s why we created Nerd Fitness Yoga:

6 full 30-min workout routines you can follow along to:

Download or stream the routines anytime, anywhere, on any device.

Mini-mobility sessions to help you deal with a sore back, tight shoulders, poor posture, etc.

We’re super proud of Nerd Fitness Yoga, and I’d love for you to check it out! It comes with a 60-day money back guarantee!

  what do you Do On Your Off Days?

As we know, a healthy body is made in the kitchen, not in the gym. It’s important to stay diligent with healthy nutrition even on days when you’re not hitting the gym.

One of the best ways to do that is to use one of your non-training days to prepare your meals for the week! NF Team Member Staci Ardison does all of her meal prep for the week on Sundays, and looks at it like an activity that is furthering her fitness journey.

I like to use one of my off days to break a mental sweat too! On Tuesdays, I take fiddle lessons, which is a mental workout so taxing that I can’t wait to get back to deadlifts!

Here’s another thing you can do on off days: Have fun. 

Whether it’s playing a video game, getting caught up on a movie or TV show, or reading a book, it’s important for us to do the nerdy or fun things that make us who we are. As the Rules of the Rebellion state: fitness can become part of we do, but not at the expense of who we are!

I’m currently playing through Batman Arkham Knight (add me on PS4 and Xbox One: “RebelOneNF”!), and as I collect the Riddler Trophies, I think to myself: “I am rebuilding muscle like Batman.”

If you’re somebody that is too smart for your own good (certain a possibility with you reading “Nerd Fitness”), you might be overwhelming yourself with paralysis: “I want to get in shape but I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing for my goals. Should I train 4 days a week or 3? Lift weights and cardio? What about my macros for food!?”

If this sounds like you, you might want to check out our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program.

We help busy people like you cut through the clutter and noise, telling you exactly what to do each day to stay on target! Learn more by clicking on the big box below:

Alright, your turn: How do you stay on target even on days when you’re not “training?”

I’d love to hear from you – do you take the day off completely? Do you challenge yourself in a different way?  Do you try to do something every day to keep the momentum up, or do you actually take days off?

Leave it in the comments!

-Steve 

PS: We have a ton of free resources too that you can grab when you join the Rebellion (free).

Simply sign up in the box below so I know where you to send your bonuses and e-books:

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

I identify as a:

Woman

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What Should I Do On My Off Days? published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[navek15]

Fairy Tail: A New Day Ch. 2

Author's Note 1: I don't own anything except my OCs and original magic. Also, I've given voice actors for my OCs. Johnny Young Bosch for Zeke and Laura Bailey for Alyssa. Also, Zeke's magic seal has an arrow while Alyssa's has a boot with motion lines. And if anyone with a Deviantart account makes some fan art of this story, I'll use it as the cover of the story and give them full credit.

Opening Song - Snow Fairy by Funkist Fairy, where are you going? hikari zenbu atsumete kimi no ashita terasu yo (We see Fairies flying into the night sky before cutting to a castle, a ship at sea and finally Natsu, Alyssa and Zeke looking up at night sky. We cut up to the moon in the sky before getting the logo: Fairy Tail: A New Day.) Oh yeah, kikoete no kakro no koe wa? Oh yeah, kare tatte sakebu kara (Lucy stands on a hill overlooking Magnolia, a fairy passing by as she turns. We then see Alyssa and Gray standing in some debris, Gray looking stoic while Alyssa is smiling as a Fairy passes by.) Oh yeah, kikoeru made kimi no kokoro ga. Oh yeah, oh yeah. (Erza and Zeke stand by a defeated monster, Erza looking serious as Zeke looks proud. Cut over to Natsu facing away on a cliff before turning and giving a thumbs up as Happy floats by.) Tsuki to taiyou no haitachi (We cut a train and the Team doing their thing. Natsu motion sick with his head in Alyssa's lap and her massaging his head, Gray looking out a window, Lucy looking at a map, Erza eating a Strawberry cake, Zeke reading a book, and Happy and Plue doing a funny dance.) wasuremo we nai desuka? (We see the gang on a caravan before switching to them at a campfire. Natsu is savagely eating some drumsticks, Happy eating a fish, Alyssa eating from a bowl with several towered next to her, Lucy and Zeke giving Gray a disapproving look as he lays shirtless and Erza sitting next to an extensive collection of luggage.) okashii na kimi ga inai to hoshii momo sae mitsukara nai (Plue is shaking, and we cut to a dreary day as Lucy is sitting on a bridge with a solemn expression. She turns her head and sees Mirajane and Team Morningstar as the sky brightens, causing her to smile.) Snowing, sunao ni egao ni nare ta no wa futari yorisoi kasane aruka "Jikan" ga aru kara (We see various adventures. The gang riding on griffins, the group laughing as Natsu and Gray butt heads, Lucy freaking out as the group is surrounded by rock creatures with their magic ready, and the group being annoyed as Natsu and Alyssa are in a 'couple trance'. We then see Zeke with a longbow and a woman in elaborate clothing wielding a green crossbow looming over him with a smile before cutting the rest of Fairy Tail.) Fairy, where are you going? Hikari zenbu atsumete Kimi no ashita terasu yo (Lucy swings an elaborate whip-sword as her Celestial Spirits come out before cutting to Natsu, Alyssa, and Zeke combining their magic into one attack, causing a massive explosion. We then see the Fairy Tail members looking on from a distance, followed by Team Morningstar facing a giant monster in a canyon.) Don't say goodbye! (We see quick cuts of Natsu's life. Him with Igneel as a boy, fist bumping with a younger Zeke, and his first kiss with Alyssa. We then cut to Erza requipping to her Heaven's Wheel Armor and Natsu with his Iron Fist as the two pass each other, causing a light. We then see Happy with his wings giving a wink before cutting to Team Morningstar in front of the guild hall, Zeke having his longbow over his shoulders and Alyssa having her fist in her palm.) Chapter 2: Welcome to Fairy Tail! The day was still young as Team Morningstar, and Lucy trekked through the city of Magnolia until they reached a two-story building with the words 'Fairy Tail' on the sign. "Welcome to Fairy Tail!" Happy told Lucy, who smiled with glee as she was standing in front of her favorite guild. Natsu kicked open the door, letting them in. "We made it back alive!" "Hey, guys!" The wizards inside the guild said, greeting the team as they entered. "I heard you went all out in Hargeon." A buck-toothed man snarked. "You guys really know how to cause trou-" He was then kicked in the face by Natsu, knocking him into another table. "You lied about that Salamander! I'm gonna kick your ass!" The Dragon Slayer exclaimed. The man got from the rubble and glared at the salmon-haired guy. "Hey, don't be mad at me! I was just passing a rumor I heard!" "IT WAS ONLY A RUMOR!?" "So what? You wanna fight about it?" "Bring it on!" Natsu yelled as he charged into a brawl. In a matter of minutes, the fight turned into a free-for-all throughout the guild. Alyssa and Zeke sweat-dropped as Lucy looked at the guild in amazement, seemingly ignoring the massive brawl. "Wow! I'm actually standing in the Fairy Tail guild hall!" As she said this, the three noticed a fit young man with spiky black hair, the Fairy Tail stamp on his right pectoral and he was wearing nothing but boxers, surprising the new girl. "So Natsu's back, huh!?" The near-naked man said as headed for the battle. But before he could join the fray, a brunette woman in a blue bikini top, red pants, various jewelry on her wrists, and a wine glass in her hand interrupted him. "Gray, your clothes." "I don't have time for this!" He yelled as he joined the brawl. Zeke sighed and placed his hand on Lucy's shoulders. "Well, might as well show you around." The three walked to the bar and sat next to the long-haired brunette. "Lucy, this is Cana, Fairy Tail's heaviest drinker." "Hey!" "Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong." Zeke dared. Cana just shrugged as the fight got louder. "And this is why I don't date the guys in this Guild. No class." She said as she grabbed the wine barrel next to her and started drinking from it, making Lucy stare in shock, Zeke stare with a deadpan expression, and Alyssa giggled. "Oh come on, Cana. Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" The orange-haired amazon said, subtly gesturing to a certain shirtless man. The brunette had a subtle blush on her cheeks, but that also could have been the booze. As the fight progressed, a large man in with tan skin, white hair, and a scar on his face stood next to the fight. "It's barely noon, and you guys are already fighting like spoiled children. Do I need to teach you a lesson?" "Hey, Elfman!" Zeke said as the two shook hands. "How was the escort mission?" The large man shrugged. "It was alright. Though the client and I had some...disagreements." "You punched him in the face, didn't you?" The archer asked. Elfman scowled. "I don't see the problem." "It's so noisy around here." A voice said and got the non-combatants attention. They turned and saw a man with a green jacket, brown pants, blue-tinted sunglasses, rings on his hands, and women in each of his arms. He got up and winked at the ladies. "I'm gonna go join if only to protect you." "Okay, Loki." The ladies swooned as Lucy crossed his image off her potential boyfriend list. "Okay, aside from Zeke and Alyssa, is there any other sane person around?" "Hello, are you new here?" Lucy turned and saw a white-haired woman in a red dress and holding a drink tray. "It's Mirajane! In the flesh!" Lucy fangirled, recognizing the barmaid from her photo shoots in Sorcerer Weekly. "Hey, Mira." Alyssa said as she hugged her friend. "Welcome back, Alyssa. How did the search in Hargeon go?" The Speed Queen sighed. "It was just some jerk using Natsu's nickname and a charm spell." "Oh, that's a shame." The barmaid turned back to Lucy. "So who's the new girl?" "I'm Lucy." The celestial wizard introduced herself. "Alyssa and the others helped me out in Hargeon and said I could join Fairy Tail." The sounds of fighting caught her attention again. "Shouldn't we do something about that?" Mirajane just giggled. "Oh, it's always like this. It's probably better if we just let them..." "Head's up!" Zeke yelled as he shot down a bottle that was heading for Mirajane. "Okay, who's the dead man who threw that at my sister?!" Elfman exclaimed as he charged into the brawl. "Ya, who did that?!" Alyssa yelled, angry that someone almost hit her best friend as she charged in. "And there they go." Zeke stated as he dismissed his longbow. Suddenly, Zeke was knocked to the ground by an airborne Gray. Much to the archer's disgust, the Ice Wizard had lost his boxers and was completely naked. "Get off me, you naked weirdo!" "Sorry." Gray said as he stood up. "Who took my underwear?" 'Don't turn around! Don't turn around! Don't turn around!' Lucy was screaming in her mind, embarrassed at the naked man near her. Unfortunately, he did turn around. "Excuse me, Mam, may I borrow your underw..." And the embarrassed Celestial Wizard knocked the nude man away with a nearby bar stool. "NO WAY!" Suddenly, Loki picked her up bridal style. "So uncivilized. That's no way to treat a beautiful lady like you." He flirted with her until Elfman punched him in the face. "REAL MEN FLIRT WITH THEIR FISTS LOKI!" The giant man said but was then kicked by Natsu. "And that's what you get for letting your guard down!" The dragon slayer smirked. An anger vein appeared on her head as Cana was drinking. "Can't a lady drink in peace?" She turned around and pulled out a card, creating a light green magic seal. "Seriously guys, knock it off." "Says who?" Gray retorted as he struck a combat pose and created a blue seal. Elfman roared as a purple seal formed above his arm as it was covered in rocks. "Bring it!" Alyssa cracked her fists as a seal appeared behind her as she started vibrating at super-speed. "You punks can be such a nuisance." Loki said as he grabbed one of his rings. "Now I'm really getting fired up!" Natsu exclaimed as flames covered his hands. "Hit the deck!" Zeke yelled as he, Lucy and Happy ducked behind the bar. However, the fight was stopped dead cold as a giant creature stomped into the Guild. "THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU BRATS!" The only people not affected by the arrival was Zeke and Mira. "Oh hi, master. I didn't know you were still here." The barmaid greeted, shocking Lucy at the nonchalant nature of her greeting and what she said. "That's the Fairy Tail Master?!" This got the giant's attention. "SO WE HAVE A NEW RECRUIT, HUH?" "That's right." Zeke said as he placed his hand on the trembling blonde's shoulder. "This is Lucy. She wanted to know if she could join." The colossal being looked at her for a second before he started to shrink. Lucy gawked as the giant turned into a short old man with orange elf-like clothing. "Nice to meet ya!" He greeted her. "He's so tiny!" "Well then, Lucy. I would like to introduce you to the Fairy Tail Master, Makarov." Mira said as the short man somersaulted up to the second floor. After comically hitting his head on the railing and getting back up, he glared at the gathered wizards. "You bunch of clogs have done it again!" He yelled as he pulled out a stack of papers. "Look at all this paperwork the Magic Council has sent me! This is the biggest stack of complaints yet! We have counts of public indecency..." Gray rubbed his head in embarrassment. "Assaulting clients..." Elfman sweat-dropped. "Sexual harassment..." Loki looked away with a guilty look. "Public drunkenness.." Cana tried to nonchalantly drink her wine but was failing. "And let's not forget all the destruction of public and private property!" And our favorite trinity all had a look of shame on their faces. "You guys really know how to get higher-ups mad at me." Makarov groaned. "However..." He said with a smirk as he burnt up the papers. "I say to hell with the Magic Council!" The old master tossed in the burning pile down as Natsu jumped and caught it with his mouth, Alyssa giggling at his actions. However, everyone turned their attention to Makarov as he continued his speech. "Now remember, any power that surpasses reason still comes from reason. Magic is not some kind of miraculous power. It is a talent that only works when the flow of energy created inside of us and the flow of energy in the natural world are in perfect sync. To perform magic, one must have a strong mind and the ability to focus. It should take over your being and pour out of your soul. If all we worry about is following rules, then our magic will never progress. Don't let those idiots on the council scare you. Do what you think is right!" He smirked and made a symbol with his right hand. "Because that's what makes the Fairy Tail Guild number one!" The guildmates cheered and made the same symbol as the master finished his speech. As they cheered, Lucy smiled at Mira, feeling that she was going to like it here. And then... Mira pressed a magic stamp on Lucy's left hand and removed it, revealing a pink version of the Fairy Tail mark. "Now you're an officially a member!" The barmaid smiled. Lucy looked at her guild mark in astonishment and headed towards Team Morningstar as they were browsing the job request board. "Hey, guys! Check it out!" She said, showing them her new mark. "That's great, Lucy!" Alyssa said as she gave the shorter woman a hug. "Welcome to the guild." Natsu and Zeke said together. "Aye!" Happy replied. After the congrats, the four went back to looking through the board as Lucy chatted with Mira and Cana at the bar. "Hey, look at this one." Natsu pulled down a poster. "300,000 Jewel just to take out a few thieves." "Sounds like easy money." Zeke said. However, their attention was caught by a young boy with black hair, a green t-shirt and brown shorts walking towards Makarov. "Is my dad back yet?" The boy asked the old man. "You're starting to get on my nerves, Romeo. You're a wizard's son. Have some faith in your father and wait patiently for him." "But sir," The boy said with some water in his eyes. "He said he would be gone for three days. It's been almost a week now!" The master rubbed his chin as he thought. "If I'm correct, he took the Mt. Hakobe mission." "That's right, so why don't you send someone to go look for him?" The boy asked. Makarov scowled at the young kid. "Your father is a Fairy Tail wizard like everyone here, and Fairy Tail Wizards can take care of themselves! So why don't go home, have some milk & cookies, and wait for him to come back!" However, as excepted when you tell a kid you're not going to look for his missing dad, Romeo punched Makarov before running out of the guild. "I HATE YOU ALL!" "Wow, that was hard to watch." Lucy stated. However, after hearing the sound of wood breaking, she turned and saw Natsu walking away from the job request board, which now had a large dent in it. "Geez, Natsu! You almost split the board in two!" A tribal-looking man called Nab yelled. Zeke looked at the retreating dragon slayer with worry and followed after him and Happy. Alyssa glared at Makarov for a second before following her teammates. As Natsu exited the guild hall, he heard... "Natsu, wait up!" Zeke said, making him turn to see his best friend and girlfriend. "Don't bother trying to stop me, guys." Alyssa just smiled. "Who said anything about trying to stop you?" Natsu raised an eyebrow as Zeke put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, man. How long have you known us for?" The salmon-haired wizard smiled in response. "Since I joined Fairy Tail." "Exactly." The archer said and held out his fist. "Morningstar till the end." The couple and the cat bumped their fists to his. "Morningstar till the end!" And then... It was business as usual for Natsu as he was lying on Alyssa's lap with his face turning green. Said speed queen was wearing a red snow coat with matching gloves, pants, orange snow boots, earmuffs, and gloves. Happy sat on the floor and Zeke sat across from them in a black coat, goggles, pants, and gloves along with Lucy in her regular wardrobe. The five of them were currently in a carriage headed to Mt. Hakobe. "So why did you decide to come with us?" Alyssa asked the Celestial wizard. "I thought I could help you guys." Lucy replied, thinking back to the talk she had with Mirajane shortly after Team Morningstar left the guild. Of course, she was surprised that Natsu actually was raised by a dragon named Igneel. She also found it sad when she heard about how Igneel had left Natsu one day before he came to Fairy Tail. As thus, Natsu saw a lot of himself in Romeo. "Then why are you wearing a skirt?" Zeke asked. "You realize that we're going to a mountain, right?" "Oh come on. How bad can it be?" "Prepare to be surprised." A few hours later, the carriage stopped with the driver saying that he brought them as far as he could take them. And as soon as they opened the door, the group was subjected to harsh and snowy winds of Mt. Hakobe. "Where the hell is this?!" Lucy screamed. "I know we're on a mountain, but it's the middle of summer right now!" "That's what you get for wearing light clothing." Natsu stated as Happy nodded in agreement. "And you're dressed for the occasion!" She pointed at the wizard who was wearing his usual outfit. "I'm a fire wizard. I'm basically a walking furnace." Natsu explained as Alyssa gave Lucy a spare blanket from her backpack. The blonde still shivered a bit until she came up with an idea. "Hold up." Lucy said as she pulled out a silver key. "Open, Gate of the Clock Constellation - Horologium!" And out of the seal came a large grandfather clock with stick-like black arms and the hands on the clock forming a pseudo-mustache. "So that's how a Celestial Spirit is summoned." Zeke observed. "So cool!" Happy exclaimed. Lucy went inside the clock and closed it. She started talking, but the group outside couldn't hear her. "What was that?" Alyssa asked. "She says it's too cold, so I'm staying in here." The Clock spirit responded. "Then why did you tag along?" Natsu asked. Lucy seemingly ignored that question with Horologium's next line. "What kind crazy mission would force Macao to come to a place like this, she asks." "Last I checked, the Hakobe mission was to slay a giant ape monster known as a Vulcan." Alyssa explained, scaring Lucy a bit. "On second thought, I want to go back to the guild, she proclaims." "Go ahead and be my guest, I say back." Natsu stated as he started looking for his guild mate. The group started to yell Macao's name as they looked for him. However, their search was soon interrupted as a Vulcan howled and crashed between them. "There you are!" Zeke proclaimed as he summoned his longbow and created a few magic arrows. "Arch Shot: Rapid Succession!" He unleashed a stream of arrows, but the ape creature managed to evade them. As it landed, the vulcan smelled the air and ran off. To Lucy's shock, the monkey lifted the clock spirit she was in and looked at her with an incredibly perverted grin. "Woman!" It said as he tried to carry the two off. "Speed Queen: Tackle!" Alyssa exclaimed as she shoulder-tackled the vulcan, making the clock and the blonde inside it spun in the air. "Someone help, she exclaims." Thankfully, Natsu managed to catch the clock and landed. "So I guess that's the Vulcan, she states." "Yup. Kinda surprised it can talk, though." "Says the guy who hangs out with a talking cat, she retorts." Natsu was about to retort, but he noticed a particular familiar scent coming from the Vulcan. Meanwhile, Alyssa and Zeke were fighting the ape with their magic. As the orange-haired amazon threw a punch, the vulcan actually managed to catch it. "Me want real woman!" An anger vein appeared on her forehead. "What the hell is that suppose to mean!?" "Just hold him there." Zeke ordered as he gathered up a slightly larger arrow than his usual ones. He loaded the arrow and aimed. "Arch Shot..." "Wait!" Natsu yelled as he ran towards them. "That Vulcan! It's Macao!" This temporary distraction gave the Vulcan the chance to smash his fists on the ground, creating a smokescreen. As it cleared, Team Morningstar looked around and saw that the Vulcan had once again taken Horologium and Lucy. "Oh come on, why me, she asks furiously." The clock spirit relayed as the ape monster got some distance between them. "So Macao got possessed, huh?" Zeke asked. "That explains why he's been gone for so long." Alyssa stated. "Aye." Happy replied. "Well then." Natsu said as he cracked his fists. "Let's go get our friends back!" A little while later, the Vulcan had brought Lucy and Horologium into an ice-covered cavern. Said vulcan was also doing a crazy dance around them. "How did I get myself into this mess?" Lucy asked tearfully inside the clock spirit. "And why is this monkey so excited?" As if in answer to her question, the Vulcan pressed his face against the glass, scaring the blonde girl as he yelled, "Woman!" To compound matters even more, Horologium disappeared leaving Lucy alone with the Vulcan. "Where did you go Horologium?! Don't you disappear on me!" "Sorry, but my time's up. Take care." The clock spirit's disembodied voice replied. "Give me an extension!" She yelled as the Vulcan leered at her. But before the ape could do anything, a green magic arrow flew in between them. "Leave her alone, Macao!" The vulcan turned only for Natsu to knock him into a wall. Alyssa helped her up as Zeke aimed his bow at the ape. "You okay, Lucy?" The taller woman asked. "Ya, thanks for the save guys." Suddenly, she remembered what Natsu said a few seconds ago. "Wait, that monkey is your friend?!" "Vulcans have the ability to possess people or other animals." Happy explained. "They're evil body snatchers." "Well, how do we free Macao?" Lucy asked. "Simple." Alyssa said as she got into a fighting stance. "We beat the Vulcan out of him." Lucy nodded as she pulled out a golden key. "Let's do it! Open, Gate of the Golden Bull - Taurus!" From the magic seal came a large humanoid bull with blue shorts who was carrying a large ax. He let out a loud moo and struck a pose. "Nice." Zeke stated. "Taurus is the strongest melee spirit I've got a contract with." The celestial wizard said with confidence. "Oh wow, Miss Lucy. I almost forgot how sexy your body is." The bull said with hearts in his eyes. "Why don't you come over here and give me a smoooooch?" "Oh yeah." Lucy face-palmed. "I forgot that he's a big pervert too." She turned to Taurus with a serious expression. "Listen, Taurus. That monkey over there is an innocent guy who's possessed. Think you can help in taking him out?" The bull looked at the Vulcan who was getting back up. He smirked and held out his ax. "No problem, Miss Lucy." "My woman!" The possessed wizard yelled. "Big talk ya mooonkey!" Taurus exclaimed as he slammed his ax into the floor, causing a tremor that headed for the Vulcan. The ape dodged it, but Alyssa managed to get in front of the dodging Vulcan. "Speed Queen: Hundred-Strike Punch!" In a barrage of super-speed, the amazon hit the ape a hundred times before uppercutting him into the ceiling. The vulcan hit the ground as icicles fell from the floor. As the ape got back up, he unleashed a clap that spread the icicles into the air. Alyssa used her speed to puck some from the air, Zeke used a Rapid Succession Spell to shoot some down, Happy and Lucy jumped out of the way, Taurus swung his ax in an arc to slice some and Natsu used his natural body heat to melt any icicles that came near him. "Your ice attack has no effect!" Natsu yelled as the Vulcan attacked from above. The dragon-slayer blocked the ape fist as he glared at the creature. "Come on, Macao! Snap out of it!" "Arch Shot: Rapid Succession!" The vulcan was knocked back by Zeke's energy arrows, and Taurus swinging his ax, the possessed wizard dodging the swings until Alyssa grabbed and locked him from behind. "Sorry in advance for this." She said as she started using her magic to spin them around at high speeds. "Speed Queen: Spin Toss!" With all her might, Alyssa tossed the Vulcan into the wall. When the smoke cleared, the ape was laying upside down with swirls in his eyes. "And three...two...one." Zeke counted down as the Vulcan started to glow, eventually turning back into Macao. After he had turned back to normal, the team and Lucy were treating his injuries as he lay on a spare blanket. "He must have put up a good fight before the Vulcan possessed him." Happy stated judging by the wounds on his body that didn't match any of the injuries Morningstar inflicted on him. Macao started to stir a little before opening his eyes. "Natsu...Happy...Alyssa...Zeke." "Welcome back." Alyssa said with a smile. "Ah man. Did I really let a Vulcan possess me?" The older man groaned. "Yup. Sorry about that." Zeke said. "Geez, I'm pathetic. I was able to beat up nineteen of those brutes, but it was the twentieth one that caught me off guard." Lucy was stunned that he managed to beat nineteen of those monsters. "I doubt I can face Romeo like this." "What are you talking about?" Natsu asked with a smirk. "You defeated nineteen monsters by yourself. That's something to be proud of." The older man smirked. "You guys always know how to lighten the mood." "Well come on." The dragon slayer said as he and the rest of the team got up and he offered his hand. "Your little boy is waiting is for you." With a smile on his face, Macao grabbed Natsu's hand and was helped back up. "Right." And then... Romeo was walking through the streets of Magnolia as the sun was starting to set. The tears were still coming down his eyes as he thought of the events that lead to his father missing. "Fairy Tail wizards are a joke, Romeo." One bully taunted. "Everyone knows they're nothing but a bunch of drunken cowards." "When I get older, I'm gonna be a knight. Not some stupid wizard." "They're all lazy, and they smell like booze." He then remembered his last conversation with his dad. "Please, Dad! Just take a mission already! I can't handle the teasing anymore!" His dad just smirked and said, "Sure thing." 'I'm so stupid!' The kid thought himself. 'My dad's gone, all because of me!' However, he heard someone calling his name and saw Happy, Alyssa, Zeke, Lucy and Natsu, who was holding up his father by his shoulders. Overcome with joy, Romeo ran and tackled his father into a hug. "Dad! I'm so sorry! I can handle the bullying!" He cried with tears in his eyes. "Because I'm a wizard's son!" Macao just patted his son on the head in comfort. "No, I'm sorry for making you worry so much." Romeo looked up at his dad and saw his smile. "But the next time those bullies pick on you, ask them this. 'Can your dad beat up nineteen monsters on his own, because mine can.'" Hearing this gave the kid a big grin on his face before he turned to Team Morningstar as they walked off. "Guys, thanks for bringing my dad back! Lucy, thanks for helping them!" "No problem." Natsu said as he gave a thumbs up as the rest of the team waved with smiles on their faces. 'Okay, so a lot of the Fairy Tail Wizards can be crazy in their own way.' Lucy thought to herself as they walked off. 'But they're also fun, kind and warmhearted people.' The group approached the guild hall and saw a few wizards there to greet them, Makarov giving the group an approving nod. 'I've only been a member for a day, but I already love it here. And I can't wait for my next adventure.'

[lindafrancois]

What Should I Do On My Off Days?

“Steve, what am I supposed to do on days when I’m not training?”

We get this question all the time here at Nerd Fitness. Since we advise most people to train 3 days per week with full body strength training routines, many Rebels have a few off days each week.

When you complete a full body workout routine, or do lots of compound movements like squats, push-ups, overhead presses or deadlifts, our muscles get broken down.

Then, over the next 24-48 hours hours, those muscles get rebuilt a tiny bit stronger.That’s why it doesn’t benefit us to work out every day; we don’t want to destroy our muscles without giving them a chance to grow back stronger.

That then begs the question: What are we supposed to do on those days? How can we keep up the habit of exercise and not let a day of non-training derail our progress?

Are there things we CAN do on our off days?

That’s why I’m here, my dear Rebel friend: you ask the questions, I answer them!

You set em up, I knock ’em down!

Before I quickly jump into this program, I’m gonna make another assumption: this isn’t the only question you have about training! 

Not just what to do on your off days, but also what to do on your “on” days too! How many sets, how many reps, how much should you eat, are you doing your push-ups right, and so on.

Questions like this can make you second guess your fitness practice, which can lead to falling off the wagon. We’ve seen it time and time again here at Nerd Fitness. Which is why we created our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program: so you can take comfort knowing your training precisely matches your experience level and goals.

Here’s how it works: your own Nerd Fitness Coach will get to know you better than you know yourself. Do you go off the rails on your “off days?” They’ll create a plan to keep you on track, by offering custom workouts, form checks, nutritional guidance, and worldwide accountability in your pocket. If you’re interested, click on the image below, and then keep reading about what to do on your “day off.”

Plan Your Off Days Like a Training Day

The biggest problem most people have with off days is that they become cheat days! Because they’re not training, they’re not thinking about being fit and it’s much easier to slack off and lose momentum.

This is bad news bears.

Remember, exercise is probably 10-20% of the equation: how we eat and rest is the other 80-90%!

So plan your off days deliberately! They’re not off days, they’re rest days, and they serve a vital role in building an antifragile kickass body capable of fighting crime (or roughhousing with your kids in the backyard).

Whether it’s scheduling one of the activities below at the same time you normally train every day, or deliberately adding a morning mobility/stretching routine to your day, doing SOMETHING every day is a great way to remind ourselves “I am changing my life and I exercise daily.”

Personally, I know I am far less likely to eat poorly when I’m doing some active recovery than when I’m not doing anything deliberately. On days when I’m not training, I try to block off a similar amount of time to work on myself in some way to maintain momentum, and I encourage you to do the same if you struggle with losing momentum if even taking one day off.

It could be flexibility training, mobility training, meal prep, and more. I’ll cover these below! Whatever it is, do SOMETHING every day, even if it’s for just five minutes, to remind yourself that you are making progress towards your new life.

Let’s dive in to your off-day options!

Work on Mobility

We’ve all felt that soreness the day after (or two days after) strength training – our muscles have been broken down and are incredibly tight from all of the heavy lifting.

For that reason, one of the best things you can do on an off day is to work on your flexibility and mobility. After all, what good is strength if we can’t move our body properly to utilize it! Dynamic stretching and mobility work helps prepare our body for the rigors of strength training and keeps us injury free!

Regardless of whether or not you have a training day scheduled, start each morning with a mobility warm-up: a series of dynamic movements that gets your body activated and wakes up your muscles, joints, and tendons. If you live in an apartment or are just getting started, feel free to leave out the jumping jacks:

This gives us a chance every morning to check in with our bodies and reminds us mentally “I am leveling up physically, might as well eat right today too.”

Here’s another favorite mobility routine from my friend (and coach) Anthony Mychal. It says it’s a warm-up for tricking, but it’s quite helpful for those of us mere mortals: 

If you spend all day at a desk, doing some basic mobility movements throughout the day can keep your hips loose and keep you thinking positively. Here’s an article on how to dominate posture at your desk job.

Do a Fun Activity

We are genetically designed to move, not sit on our asses for 60+ hours a week. Not only that, but we are genetically designed to have fun doing so too!

Which means we can spend time on our off days working on our happiness AND stay active at the same time.

This fun activity can mean something different for everybody:

Go for a bike ride with your kids

Go for a run around your neighborhood

Play kickball in a city league (I play on Thursdays!)

Play softball

Swim

Go for a walk with your significant other

Go rock climbing

Learn martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Capoeira or Kung Fu

Take a dance class

Try Live Action Role-Playing (LARP!)

Play on a playground

Roll down a hill and run back up it

I honestly don’t care WHAT you do, as long as it’s something you truly enjoy doing – it puts a smile on your face, it gets your heart pumping. Exercise does not need to be exhausting or miserable. If you haven’t found an activity you enjoy yet, you haven’t tried enough new things.

The point is to get outside, remember it’s a damn good day to be alive, and that we are built to move.

Intervals, Sprints, Or Walking

“But Steve, I have this big party coming up and I really am trying to lose as much weight as possible.”

Okay okay, I hear you – if that’s the case, then 90% of the battle is going to be with your diet (which you can learn about here), but there are SOME things you can do on your off days that can help you burn more calories:

1) Interval Training –  In interval training, you’ll be varying your running pace. This means you may switch between jogging and walking, or walking and sprinting (there are few different methods of interval training). This training style can help speed up your metabolism for the hours after you finish.

2) Sprinting – If you like the idea of burning extra calories and building explosive power and speed, check out our article on becoming the Flash. Find a hill, sprint up it, walk down, and repeat the process for 10-20 minutes. No need to overthink it!

3) Long walks – Walking is a low-impact activity that burns extra calories and doesn’t overly tax your body. What a “long walk” will be is different for everybody based on their level of fitness, but walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself!

If you want to take a more active recovery day, the most important thing is to listen to your body. Destroying ourselves for 6+ days a week can really wear us down, causing long term problems if we’re not careful.

Yoga for the win!

You might not realize it, but yoga is the perfect complement to strength training:

Strength training makes us stronger, but it can tighten up our muscles and make us sore.

Yoga, on the other hand, lengthens our muscles and tendons, aids in their recovery, and helps our body develop better mobility and flexibility.

It’s the perfect way to create a strong AND mobile body, ready for anything and everything we throw at it. It’s kind of like turning your body into a swiss-army knife: prepared to be strong, flexible enough to avoid injury, and truly antifragile.

Now, if you’ve never been to a yoga class before, it can certainly be intimidating, especially if you’re a ones-and-zeros programmer wary of the practice’s more spiritual aspects. That was my concern years ago before I got started with it; I had to muster up 20 seconds of courage to attend my first yoga class, and I’m so glad I did.

Here’s how to get started with Yoga!

Nearly any commercial gym you join will have yoga classes.

Most yoga studios have classes throughout the day.

Follow a plethora of videos online if you want to get started at home.

If Yoga is something you want to try, but you never see yourself working up the nerve to go to a yoga class, I hear ya. It’s why we created Nerd Fitness Yoga:

6 full 30-min workout routines you can follow along to:

Download or stream the routines anytime, anywhere, on any device.

Mini-mobility sessions to help you deal with a sore back, tight shoulders, poor posture, etc.

We’re super proud of Nerd Fitness Yoga, and I’d love for you to check it out! It comes with a 60-day money back guarantee!

  what do you Do On Your Off Days?

As we know, a healthy body is made in the kitchen, not in the gym. It’s important to stay diligent with healthy nutrition even on days when you’re not hitting the gym.

One of the best ways to do that is to use one of your non-training days to prepare your meals for the week! NF Team Member Staci Ardison does all of her meal prep for the week on Sundays, and looks at it like an activity that is furthering her fitness journey.

I like to use one of my off days to break a mental sweat too! On Tuesdays, I take fiddle lessons, which is a mental workout so taxing that I can’t wait to get back to deadlifts!

Here’s another thing you can do on off days: Have fun. 

Whether it’s playing a video game, getting caught up on a movie or TV show, or reading a book, it’s important for us to do the nerdy or fun things that make us who we are. As the Rules of the Rebellion state: fitness can become part of we do, but not at the expense of who we are!

I’m currently playing through Batman Arkham Knight (add me on PS4 and Xbox One: “RebelOneNF”!), and as I collect the Riddler Trophies, I think to myself: “I am rebuilding muscle like Batman.”

If you’re somebody that is too smart for your own good (certain a possibility with you reading “Nerd Fitness”), you might be overwhelming yourself with paralysis: “I want to get in shape but I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing for my goals. Should I train 4 days a week or 3? Lift weights and cardio? What about my macros for food!?”

If this sounds like you, you might want to check out our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program.

We help busy people like you cut through the clutter and noise, telling you exactly what to do each day to stay on target! Learn more by clicking on the big box below:

Alright, your turn: How do you stay on target even on days when you’re not “training?”

I’d love to hear from you – do you take the day off completely? Do you challenge yourself in a different way?  Do you try to do something every day to keep the momentum up, or do you actually take days off?

Leave it in the comments!

-Steve 

PS: We have a ton of free resources too that you can grab when you join the Rebellion (free).

Simply sign up in the box below so I know where you to send your bonuses and e-books:

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

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