#I didnt have world edit and i also had never done an organic

[imflyingfish]

Its so odd seeing that cow build going around lmao

[ganondoodle]

just to note this, as much as i love botw, i am not uncritical of it, like while i personally like the weapon breaking and rain mechanics everyone else seemed to hate i do agree that the bosses and dungeons were kinda repetetive and there could have been more bigger sidequests, some more diverse epic music tracks also wouldnt have hurt tho i fully disagree with anyone trying to claim it didnt HAVE music, im convinced those people played it with sound off bc wth (edit. plus the unfortunately still orientalist design of the gerudo plus that belly dancer outfit for link ... that thankfully got removed in totk as far as i know but the rest still stands)

personal criticism id have that i would have prefered zelda never gaining her sacred powers but instead finding a different way to fight back, bc her gaining them like that kinda made rhoams abuse .. right, like turns out to activate her powers you need to literall kill everyone she cares about (at least thats why i feel a bit meh about that), her maybe not being as sidelined like that (tho youd have to change alot for that .. which totk had the perfect chance to and then kinda did it again but worse lol) and the yiga clan being less of one little side mission

(also way too many people kept hating on botw for the same few reasons, often without giving it a chance, i think we all heard all the endless complaints about usually little things so i dont need to retread all of that)

alot of those little criticism things got adressed in totk, which i LIKED, but overall its so much less in harmony, this should have been a game about rebuilding and recovering about working together and then zelda gets immediately booted off and we get introduced to characters we never learn enough of to really care and yet they still take away the mystery botw had left us for the world to feel more alive, they ripped out parts that were so internally organically connected to the world and pretended they never mattered nor existed, characters act off and i cant help but feel like the main 'plot' is, as much as i hate to use that comparison, a badly written fanfiction ... it builds on nothing and just leaves you .. or me at least feeling empty, like i am playing through a mockery of the game i loved ... like all the fun i had thinking about the things in botw, the theories you could come up with was all wasted time

i honestly cant describe it better than totk, despite the little QoL changes, and the changes i DID like, it just feels ... empty? not in a literal way but more ... mentally? it feels so shallow? like at multiple points i felt like the game was actively mocking me, when i reached the shrine of life and was faced with barren walls and a puddle of water i felt betrayed for caring so much about what botw had done .. i felt like i could hear the game laughing while i stood there not knowing what to think of it, and while this was the time when i felt the most actually physically compeltely betrayed, that feeling of being mocked kept happening, i kept feeling like i was treated like a dumb player character that just eats up anything they say without thinking or remembering the title this was supposedly a sequel of, like i should play with the little toys of glueing things together and forget the world around me like a 5 year old

that may sound harsh but that is how i, personally, feel about it

[frogmentarii]

QUESTIONS FOR OC CREATORS

Haaaa ok so I am doing this cause i saw @fallout-lou-begas steal it from @tarberrymentats and they both looked like they were havin hella fun so i am commandeering this for my own purposes. So lucky for yall its Emi time (art by the dearest @yesjejunus because yall need to see more of her work)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Because she's an older woman (57) that breaks a lot of moulds and I love to see it. Aside from just enjoying older characters, Emi isn't a sweet old lady and she isn't here to try and mother anyone. Her drives are entirely her own and while she prioratizes herself and her sister before anyone else, its not always due to complete selfishness and just due to growing up in the wastes (I try to keep her character true to a fend for yourself setting as possible). I think Ill go into detail in another question with this, but I went through a lot of concepts and personalities for Emi before settling on someone who was seasoned and very much a product of the wastes. I think after seeing a lot of other couriers I finally figured out what I wanted to do differently, and that sort of helped guide her to become what she is today.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I think my last line there sort of short answers this. I wanted someone different from the other couriers I saw, and wanted to make one that was distinct or even juxtaposed against some tropes. She's a woman in her late 50s that doesnt try and play mom/granny to the companions, she very much has no stake in what happens to the Mojave, she doesnt care about Benny or that he shot her in the head (such is life in the Mojave, but she did have a job to complete so ripperoni him), and a lot of her motivations are selfish or exist to benefit her sister. She doesnt act 'old' in the fact that she isn't a wise caring soul or a grumpy old man, but rather her age is shown through her experience, and this also shapes her personality. She's never had to formally 'grow up' so she can come off as immature and irritating for her own entertainment, but she doesn't have youthful ignorance for how the world works. She knows how to be responsible but she doesnt have to act like it outwardly, even with her Tragic Caregiver Backstory.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

To a large degree in the beginning, yes, and to specific degrees now, also yes. Writing in general isnt my strong point though I did know what I wanted for her. The main image is there but the details are funky, and Ive been slowly hammering those out as I work along with her and Camila's stories. There's been some huge changes along the way that help push both of them towards an ending I like and that fits them, and even if it takes forever and I never actually write a fic, I'll be happy when she finally feels completed in New Vegas.

Aside from that, she kind of fits in anywhere in regards to AUs. My friend @yesjejunus and I have probably like 40000 fucking aus for our OCs and all of them feel just as organic and their canon stories.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

So I know I have an 'original concept Emilia' art on here where she looked like Laura Croft and had aviators but that wasnt even her first concept. I had originally wanted to make a petite southern belle type from Louisiana who used a shot gun and had a mean streak, but as I kept playing with concepts Emi really started to lean other places. Another huge change was her personality. Even when her concept got settled as a sniper from Mexico, she was suppose to be an early 30s caravan guard who was way too sure of herself. While there are reminents of that concept still in her, she has a lot more experience in the wastes and in think-on-your-feet situations to back up her attitude. Another thing she required was dropping her "take me seriously" personality with more goofy "i do what i want cause why not" traits.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Emi can get along with anyone at a surface level, for a small while, if it will benefit her or she wants to pass time. She really doesn't have interest in folks who arent interesting or beneficial in some way. Since I don't really offer her much, and am a bit of a wet bag, she might yank my chain for her own funsies or she'd have no interest.

And while I did indeed give Emi my go with the flow attitude, I think I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Emi is very fast paced and doesnt necessarily have regard for those she decides to pick up as drinking buddies for the night. Def dont trust her with my life, and knowing the shit she gets into I'd def want to steer clear of it....like a trainwreck its much better to watch her from a safe distance, lol.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

A lot of affection from a meta standpoint? I've worked with Emi and Cam a lot since creating them, and they've def come a long way since their original concepts. I wouldn't say their story is quite where I want it yet, but I am quite happy with it overall.

That, and Ive met so many awesome writers along the way with Emi. Not all of my friends have posted fic but the amount of world building and having our characters interact and talking OCs ive done with them has placed both Emi and their OCs in a special place for me. Sure her having her own story is fun but I much more prefer the bonds Ive created with people over OCs and I think thats a bit more of a cherished component to character creation for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Literally? That she likes to be irritating if she feels she can get away with it (or even if she cant). Actually? That she has a very "I shelter you and feed you therefore I make the rules, period." stance on how she takes care of her charge. She lets a lot of shit slide with Camila but things get very Rapunzel-esque at times.

H) What trait do you admire most?

How sure of herself she is. Even if its to a fault, she trusts herself and her judgements. That sort of confidence is something I strive to have haha.

To a lesser degree, and more of a meta point I wanted to make with her, just...her appearance I suppose? To me she's attractive, but she also has a lot of traits that aren't conventionally attractive and that's played a lot into how Ive wanted her to be. Again she's 57 years old. She has age to her body, her skin wrinkles and droops, her tits sag, she has the body of someone who uses chems, and yet despite her age and breaking of beauty standards ive made it a point to show that she is desired or thought of as attractive in non fetish specific circumstances. She herself, while aro, also still has an active sex drive and I really wanted this to be a backseat part of her character, as I feel like fandom in general shafts older women in this department (this also goes for a lot of her non 'old lady' traits I give her too). She still has sexual needs and is still very much sexually active, and she is still found to be a regular sort of attractive and is desired by those she gets involved with.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes? Ish, to a degree. I didnt have to but I wanted to. I also did a lot of headcanoning with post Mexico for her early life which, afaik is free real estate for lore/nothing super detailed has been given in canon.

Given that she and Camila both shape their stories as individuals, I did have to split up some canon elements to follow two seperate characters, but other than that I really just had to make sure Emilia's story wasnt "boring" in the fact that she again, has no real stake in what happens to Vegas/the Mojave.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Cackles in 'which au will I obsess with today'

For the most part yes, however I love placing her in new things or different stories. She may be 'my courier' but really shes just the frog granny that goes into whatever au I am feeling at the time.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[all-hail-the-witcher]

cats the movie was created by the mafia and here's why

so since one (1) person said that they still wanna hear this theory imma post it

first, the reviews of cats are so mixed, it's confusing. im not even sure if everyone is talking about the same movie. lets look at some of the more wild ones:

but then i found these two:

both of these reviews (the second one especially) explicitly mention celebrities, which, made me think of a conspiracy theory

i once watched a video (i think it was a shane dawson one) where he discussed how people believe that it could be a possibility that the government uses celebrities and their scandals to distract the population from their wrongdoing and general mishaps. that being said, lets unpack what we know about cats:

-cats themselves (as in the animal) are generally very cute and people find them funny. it is commonly perceived by some that the internet - youtube specifically - is “that place with the cat videos” and people are very entertained by them (think about tik toks, twitter and tumblr threads, vines, and ig accounts) and even interact with cats if they happen to be allergic to them. it is safe to say that the human population has somewhat of an obsession with cats. 

-cats the musical is generally misunderstood by a lot of people. i have never actually seen it but from what i understand its a musical about cats competing to see who will die and theres one good song (memory). the internet has gone about about “what the heck is cats even about” for many years before the movie came out in the form of memes and other random internet jokes.

and now lets address the us government. right now most people agree that its plenty shitty for various reasons. even people in other countries Dont Get It. (im not going to get too into it because chances are if you have an internet connection you've heard about the shit the us government has done recently)

now. onto the movie itself. (hang onto your hats this is where it gets wild)

according to google, cats is a british american film. it is a well known fact that america was originally colonized by the british and we gained our freedom in 1776 (i really hope thats not news to you) but the war didnt end until the british surrendered at yorktown in 1781 and the treaty of paris wasn't signed until 1783. the british were notoriously salty afterwards, continuing to pirate american ships and do other generally annoying things which resulted in the war of 1812. it was not until after the war of 1812 (which officially ended in 1815) that the british recognized america was independent and actually started respecting them. britain and america were also allies and have famously teamed up to stop people from taking over the world (ie ww2 amongst others).

youre probably wondering what the hell this has to do with cats. stick with mw, we’re getting there.

in the weeks after the 2016 election, there were many memes circulating the internet along the lines of this:

needless to say, it was a wild time for america. 

now, admittedly, britain was Also in the midst of their own wild time because of brexit, but somehow the election results managed to kind of overshadow that (at least in america). 

so lets review some Important Dates:

-june 23, 2016 -> brexit is proposed

-november 8, 2016 -> 2016 election

-march 2017-> britain formally announces leaving the eu

additionally, in 2016 the worlds biggest superpowers were (in order) the us, russia, china, india, and the uk.

now, onto my theory.

the mafia has always notoriously been trying to be stopped by the government for their crime and is a strange organization with a lot of money. the mafia Does still exist although mostly in new england. since 2016 there has been a disconnect between the government and the people due to the staggering amounts that do not support the current president. the mafia may have seen this as an opportunity to overthrow the current government/president and cabinet and place their own person there so that they wouldn't get as much shit from the government. 

this theory does get a little bit complicated regarding the presidents suspected ties to the mafia. however, the mafia is very powerful and i have no doubt that they could have somehow blackmailed trump or implemented false records in order to depict the president falsely. or they could have tricked the president into working with them in order to gain secrets to help them overthrow him. the possibilities are endless. 

so in the time between the 2016 election and when britain formally announced leaving the eu, the mafia probably had some time to scheme a little, thinking up possible ways for them to overthrow the government. 

after britain announced leaving the eu, someone in the government must have realized that it was making britain widely unpopular and they should do something to clean up their image. so they take a peek around and happen to notice that america is royally fucked cause of the president and there are people threatening to move to canada cause of it.

but why is any of this of importance to britain?

well, britain used to be the top world superpower before ww2, but then were beat out by america both after the war and when they announced nsc 68, a plan to make amerias military stronger and provide aid to american allies being threatened by communism. although britain and america stayed allies, it is likely that britain may have been a bit salty about this. and, if they could somehow get rid of trump and weaken the country this may bump the us from the lead world superpower and (if they were lucky) also russia and china who the president was more or less involved with.

low and behold who has the same desires? the mafia.

so the mafia and britain team up to defeat the us government. but how will they do it?

my friends, that is where cats comes in. 

as stated, the government has previously used celebrity scandals to cover up and distract from their own. the mafia and britain would not have wanted to make this seem like anything out of the ordinary, so they decided to implement this form of distraction, but twisted it into grotesque exposure. but they needed a vehicle in which to use this

if you refer to my information on cats from before, american people love cats and cats the musical is a somewhat loved classic that makes little to no sense. additionally, theater fans have recently been calling for screen filmed shows so they dont have to spend lots of money on tickets (see newsies live and bandstand) so in order to pass this off as normal they chose to use cats.

howmst ever, they needed to make the american people not like cats anymore so that they wouldn't be easily distracted by them. how to accomplish this? make the cats in the movie cgi celebrities. 

the celebrity lineup of the movie is quite impressive, containing the following:

james corden, judi dench, jason derulo, idris elba, jennifer husdon, ian mckellan, taylor swift, and rebel wilson. 

these celebrities were all chosen for the type of audience they would draw in so that it would be as vast as possible. (old people, young people, middle aged people, etc).

the mafia paid these celebrities handsomely and coerced them into being in the movie. 

now, lets discuss the timeline. 

the movie itself premiered on december 20th and the mafia and britain would have begun creating it as soon as march of 2017. scripts take up to 12 weeks to write, putting them at june of 2017. pre production takes 10 weeks, putting them at about halfway through september 2017. it takes about an average of 10 weeks to film, putting them at december 2017. and, according to pixar, animating a movie can take between 4 and 7 years, however, the reviews have stated that cats only took about a year to animate the movie, putting it at about december 2018. this would give the mafia about 7 extra months for any needed editing or fixing between when they could have hypothetically started and ended the movie itself because the trailer came out in july of 2019.

they would have wanted to release the movie just before 2020 because that is when the next election takes place and they would need everyone to be immune to propaganda. 

the mafia and britain creating cats explains a lot of things such as:

-why james corden has not gone to see the movie

-why the animation is so horrifying

-why the movie was made in such little time

-why the celebrities in the movie are actually in the movie

-why the budget was able to be so large if it was an epic flop

-peoples general confusion as to why the movie was even made

see, they would have known that even if not a lot of people saw the movie, it would have made headlines just because of how bad it is, terrifying people of both the celebrities in it (remember this includes james corden, a prominent talk show host and taylor swift, one of the top song writers) and of cats themselves.

in conclusion, cats was filmed by the mafia and great britain in an attempt to overthrow the us government.

be careful who you vote for in 2020.

[edge-lorde]

original vampire bullshit

part...... 1? EDIT: PART 2 HERE    part 3 here  part 4 here

idk i wrote like 5 pages of rambling about vampire biology with a bit of disjointed theory at the beginning. i didnt even get into anything orcs related or any of the history or how the world works, but its very long.

if anyone seems interested to know the other stuff, ill write more.

until then:

Vampires. What are they? = sentient viruses.

In this world we are assuming that all viruses are living things, but are descended from NOT the same common ancestor as all other forms of life on earth, which is why they are so weird and don't match up with what we describe life and living things to be. 

Here is a list of what makes a living thing in current science:

are made of one or more cells. 

need energy to stay alive. 

respond to stimuli in their environment.

grow and reproduce.

maintain a stable internal environment.

I don't actually know how many of those things do apply to viruses, but the point is that we defined what a living thing is, and if evolution had gone a little differently, perhaps we would have made a different definition. 

In this world, let's say that all normal viruses like the flu and stuff exist, but there are also ones that don’t. There’s a lot of bullshit science things people smarter than me have figured out about viruses that i don’t have the patience to read. Suffice it to say that for now, vampirism is a form of virus that does not just take over single cells or particular tissues in order to reproduce, but entire organisms. 

In this case, it only effects humans but there could be many similar viruses in this world that work the same way. Basically it's like a mutual thing where, the vampire virus infects a host, and as a result the hosts own reproduction ability is completely shut down, and now they are only able to reproduce via the virus. The host benefits because in human evolution, the body starts to degrade after the age of reproduction. This makes sense because all evolution is is what causes an organism to have more of its DNA survive in the past = what will be alive in the future. 

It benefits the virus for the infected host to be mobile as long as possible because the vampirism virus needs blood exchange from host to host in order to infect. In this way, the infected host being able to travel and make this happen for as long as possible benefits the virus the most, and results in a human that appears to never age and stay in good health long after a human of the same age would have died. 

The human host’s DNA also benefits because even though the original reproduction system is shut down, the virus copies a little bit of the original hosts DNA and transfers it to the next hosts that that person infects. Independent of that, it benefits human populations to have vampires included in society because they live so much longer and can relay information/give extra support from a longer period back in time and for a longer period of time. 

However, nowadays the relationship between vampires and uninfected humans is different and i’ll get to it eventually. 

FIRST: physiology. 

Vampirism is a bone disease. It is passed along through blood contact only. When someone is infected the main thing that changes is that bone marrow stops being able to make new red blood cells, why this would be I'll figure out eventually. To remedy this, they must get their blood through other means. Once infection has taken place, the future vampire will grow new “teeth” otherwise known as “fangs” that connect to their circulatory system. The time period before these new teeth come in is known as the fledgling stage, when a person is considered halfway between human and vampire. More on this later. The end of this stage is signaled when the old human teeth fall out and the new blood-teeth fully emerge. This also usually signals the time when the vampires’ bones will stop making new blood cells. Every vampire has until all their current red blood cells begin to die off to feed and replenish themselves. If they don’t do this, they will die.  If a vampire is unlucky enough to stop making new blood before their teeth are ready they must receive blood in some way or they will super die. 

Vampires are not dead or undead. Magic does not exist in this world, so while getting new blood is a physiological problem that their bodies need to address,  they still need to eat regular food to fuel themselves as well. I thought about making a garlic allergy more common for them just because it would be funny but it actually doesn’t make sense, unfortunately. Vampires can and do eat everything that humans can eat. Raw blood is more palatable for them in taste than it was, and probably do use it more in cuisine as a result, but they can’t gain red blood cells by eating/swallowing blood as food, it must go through their blood fangs or possibly be injected into the bloodstream. 

It also can’t be bad blood-- it must still have living red blood cells and blood types still apply in some sense. When the blood goes through the blood fangs, the body doctors it to a form that won’t get attacked by the body’s immune system, = vampires all have their own, new blood types that are universal receivers to all/most human blood types. For this reason, I feel most animal blood would make a vampire very sick, or perhaps only non-mammal blood? This also makes direct blood transfusion into a vampire via a needle very risky and even likely to make them sick as well. In modern times I imagine that either they have developed a technique of making harvested blood vampire-immune system- friendly before injection, or have a way of injecting the blood directly into their blood-doctoring organ. In any case, blood transfusion is only done on vampires in life or death circumstances. 

I mentioned before that vampires old reproductive systems shut down, that's true. That takes up energy so it's gone. Sex hormones are replaced by vampire hormones that keep organs working. I don’t know enough about biochemistry to say more about how that might work. The more time that goes on, the less clearly masculine or feminine a vampire will look and also the less interested in sex they will be on average. They can still have sex if they want, but the more time that goes on the more medical intervention they may need in order to do it.

There’s a small window of time just after a person has been infected where they are still fertile, for those with sperm that’s until their last batch of them dies off. For those with eggs, it’s usually up until their last ovulation cycle, but in some cases they may still have viable eggs for years afterward that could be harvested and used in IVF, but the longer someone waits the less likely that is to work and the person would need a surrogate, both because the persons uterus may or may not be able to still work and because there's the potential that the unborn baby could be infected by the vampirism virus. That’s a bad thing and I'll explain why in a minute. The kids of new vampires are either infected with vampirism or not, no matter if they have one or two vampire parents. There is no half-vampires in this setting, only full ones and unaffected humans. 

Vampires also age weird. Immediately after being turned, it's like getting a dose of extra youth. As long as one has enough blood, organs that had begun to deteriorate will suddenly get better, reach a state of equilibrium, and then slowly begin to deteriorate at a much slower pace. If they routinely are forced into states of having low amounts of viable blood, they will deteriorate much faster. 

The prime age to be turned is 25 - before someone begins to lose their strength, whenever that is. The aforementioned dose of youth can only do so much, chronic conditions can still affect vampires, though to a lesser degree. 

If a child were to become infected with vampirism, they would skip puberty all together. No matter what age they are, after they are done with their fledgling period, their bones will begin to fuse at the stage they are at and the person will begin to age at the vampire rate as if they were adults. This results in old vampires bitten as kids looking like kids with wrinkles and arthritis. This is why vampire babies are very bad, and super illegal to make. 

In modern times, both adult and child vampires can take hormone treatments to either replace the sex hormones they lost when bitten, or supply the human growth hormones that would allow them to grow up as a human would. In order to get the best result, the latter treatment should be started before the person's bones fuse-- before or just after the end of the fledgling stage. For individuals whose bones have already fused, the treatment may still be recommended for some-- they can still have a puberty but won’t get any taller. 

There is also the issue of the brain. The reason why it's considered optimal for vampires not to be turned until at least 25 is because that is when the brain finishes maturing. Once turned, the vampires brain may also stop maturing. I don't actually know that much about the brain, so this section relies on info that someone knows, but not me. If it's the case that the brain’s maturation is caused by growth hormones, then taking them will let the underage vampire’s brain finish growing. Hooray! If it's just caused by being alive and figuring things out via life experience, hooray! They don’t need any kind of treatment. If it's not caused by either of these concepts, then their brains stop maturing at whatever age they were bitten at and will never go far beyond that. 

For the aging brain, vampirism will initially improve general brain function and temporarily halt dementia. This is because during the fledgling stage, the infected person's brain will begin to detach emotion to their old memories as a human and begin to create new neurons. As a person's memories become less and less personal, they will bond to the vampire who turned them. The exploitation of a fledgling  by their vampire parent is again, super illegal.

The new vampire will essentially lose the person they once were and gain new formative memories during this period. This is a very real physiological process that is difficult to protect against. They will retain all of their old memories, but all emotion attached to them will be lost. Even if a vampire manages to remember their past fondly, if they were to be presented with the people, places, and things that they once loved, they might not even recognize them. If they do, they won’t have an emotional response. It will be as if they know that this person or thing was once important to someone, but was it really to them?

The undead may not exist in this world but that doesn't mean becoming a vampire isn’t a serious loss to a person's humanity. This loss primes the new vampire to find a new place in life with their vampire community......

[kilmameri]

I saw @solange-lol doing this and it seemed fun so I wanted to do it too. Please do it yourselves too and tag me to it if you like, I won’t be tagging anyone. I’ve added my comments in chunks so theyre easier to delete. this is mostly me writing random garbage which isnt needed but i wanted to do

Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations

AIR: i have small hands • i love the night sky • i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by • i drink herbal tea • i wake to see dawn • the smell of dust is comforting • i’m valued for being wise • i prefer books to music • i meditate • i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

What kinda aspiration is having small hands tho? :DD I love the night sky the most when it’s warm an dark, often when im like, on a trip. its not often both dark and warm where i live :D and i Love birds. today waiting for the bus i almost forgot where i was when i watched birds fly in flocks over us. theyre moving back here for spring! :D

also like,, waking early is so over appreciated. and i see the dawn plenty bc the sun rises at like nine o’clock in winter if at all like,,, i get that its more constant to ppl who live closer to the equator and actually means something. i would wake up to see the dawn tho for the stillness of the world tho if it was with someone but only in daydreams bc why get up early when u can stay up late? that last one abt truths like lmao we get it u deep but yea i love trivia

FIRE: i don’t have straight hair • i like to wear ripped jeans • i play an organized sport • i love dogs • i am not afraid of adventure • i love to talk to strangers • i always try new foods • i enjoy road trips • summer is my favorite season • my radio is always playing

i love curly hair. i have really thick and stiff straigh af hair and i sometimes wish it had Even Waves bc id love to look more messy-cute ya know? bc now its all clean partings, no stray hairs. it looks too formal for my taste and id like for it to have some personality. i know i could just curl it with an iron or get it done but yea,,, i dont care That much

like im constantly told im crazy brave and i guess this applies to me? like i Did move at age 16 to my own in a city i have never been in with no one there who knew me and just,,, didnt even care. i tell others what ive been up to and they ooh and aah and im like?? but yea it does feel nice to be considered adventurous

also i love weird foods and am Not picky. in ninth grade home ec my kitchen needed to design a three course meal and dear fucking god was that a mess. we had one vegetarian lactose intolerant peep, one who didnt eat random shit like onions and bell pepper bc they taste bad (???) and so if a recepie had even a slightest bit of that he insisted it be left out or didnt even listen to the full recepie. and one who like,,,, would Not eat any foregin food. he wanted Potatoes and sausages. im like??? this is the final home ec test? this is supposed to showcase our skills,,, and you want boiled potatoes and plain sausage? what a mess lmao

WATER: i wear bracelets on my wrists • i love the bustle of the city • i have more than one set of piercings • i read poetry • i love the sound of a thunderstorm • i want to travel the world • i sleep past midday most days • i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • i see emotions in colors not words

i moved to a city abt uhhh? half a year ago and i love it here :D theres nothing better than walking in the centrum with the pidgeons and street artists and ppl having a good time chatting and shopping

i used to sleep past midday but i try to not so much bc that worsens my mood a lot bc i feel really isolated spending so much of my time alone. but it is my natural way of being so i guess thats how it be sometimes

EARTH: i wear glasses/contacts • i enjoy doing the laundry • i am a vegetarian • i have an excellent sense of time • my humor is very cheerful • i am a valued adviser to my friends • i believe in true love • i love the chill of mountain air • i’m always listening to music • i am highly trusted by the people in my life

bad eyesight ://. i do kinda enjoy doing household chores when i have something to listen to or a call to be in but that hasnt been the case lately. i am not vegetarian but sometimes i do go days without eating meat by accident which i dont mind but like,,, yea. its bc i eat like, bread, noodles, cereal, and then there might be something vegetarian at school that i eat bc it looks like the tastiest food there

idk abt my humor? its kinda spicky, insulting to some. but i dont mean it its like friendly banter. but i put it on with ppl who arent friends of confy with that sometimes and i dont mean to honestly

AETHER: i go without makeup in my daily life • i make my own artwork • i keep on track of my tasks and time • i always know true north • i see beauty in everything • i can always smell flowers • i smile at everyone i pass by • i always fear history repeating itself • i have recovered from a mental disorder • i can love unconditionally

never really liked makeup, too much work for a thing i cant really tell is even there. the flashy types of makeup i dont like so much. also im already cute af

ive been told im organized as hell by my peers and i dont get it. thats just?? how i naturally do things. it like,,, is Impossible for me to put things in their wrong places. if its hard to put where it belongs then i dedicate a “pending” spot for it in a place thats easy. and i hate notebooks and instead use a binder filled with loose leaves that i can edit as much as i like :3

thanks for reading, hmu if u wanna say something abt the things i wrote. ill read it

[thecitykeepsevolving]

Idina Menzel World Tour Concert Review - 5.20.17 Atlantic City, NJ

I went to my 3rd Idina concert in AC last night and it was amazing! I wrote a review. It’s not really coherent but it’s as much as I can remember. it’s under the cut because there are some spoilers (for those who don’t want to see any). I didn’t explain every little thing, just the main highlights. I don’t have pics because the lighting was bad, but I do have a short clip of “For Good” that I’ll post. (I already posted part of Let It Go, I’ll post the full one too)

SETLIST:

Queen of Swords

Small World

Seasons of Love

Don't Rain on My Parade (Funny Girl)

Everybody Knows

Cake / Black Dog (Led Zeppelin)

I'm Not That Girl

Perfect Story

Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler)

Defying Gravity

I Do

Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon & Garfunkel)

Rocksteady (Aretha Franklin)

No Day But Today

Dear Prudence (Beatles) / Do You Want to Build A Snowman?

For Good

Let It Go

Encore:

Every Time We Say Goodbye (Cole Porter)

I See You

--

The crowd was actually pretty tame. A LOT of older adults. The median age was probably 40. I expected to see a lot teens and kids but OH WELL, not complaining. i wish everyone would’ve been a little more LIT though. Idina was trying to get the crowd hyped and they were kinda eh.

SHE CAME OUT ON TIME!! At 8:07. I expected 8:30 so I was glad. When she came out, I lost my shit as always. This is the 7th time I’ve seen her live and 3rd concert and I still die every time. She was wearing the black jumpsuit thing from the Carmel/Japan shows and it looked HOT on her. I LOVED QUEEN OF SWORDS!!! ESPECIALLY THE DRUMMING. My 15 yr. old self died bc I used to think I would be an aspiring drummer one day (still do). This song is sooo good live, omg. And i was def singing along (NOT SORRY).

All of the songs from idina. were REALLY GOOD LIVE. It almost makes me wish it were a live album instead. I think it was the band/sound mixing that made it sound really good. Small world/Everybody Knows were never my favorite songs and based on what I’ve seen her sing from TV appearances they were ehhh but I really enjoyed both songs in person. A LOT.

Idina was casually talking about AC and said “I won 600 bucks at the casino” I was like YEAH, LIKE YOU NEED IT. OOOOKAY.

I was actually really glad to hear Seasons of Love, even though I’ve heard it sung live many times (not by Idina though). Only thing is, I wish it was later in the set? It just seemed like it was out of place. Also, at the beginning of the song, it sounded like echo was from the OBCR recording which was cool. I was surprised she remembered the words to this song, because she always forgot them at the BCEFA fundraiser for If/Then. But she NAILED the high note at the end of the song!!!

During “Don’t Rain on My Parade” before she sang “HEY THERE...HERE I AM” she said, “Where are we from? Jersey or Philly” (EVERYONE WHO COMES TO SOUTH JERSEY FOR A CONCERT ASKS THAT QUESTION) and a bunch of us (including me) screamed “JERSEY” (thank god). Then, someone said Long Island and she said, “YOU CAME TO AC FROM THERE?” AHAHAHA.

Also during DROMP the fringe from her jacket was hanging and she gave it to someone. it was pretty funny.

When introducing the song Cake, she talked about Aaron and “Since you last saw me, I got engaged. After getting divorced you never think that someone could love you again.” It was sweet.

CAKE WAS AMAZINGGGG LIVE. AS IF I DIDNT ALREADY LOVE IT FROM THE ALBUM. I’m so glad she put it in the set. I also loved the projections in the background during the whole concert. She was ROCKIN OUT and was classic rocker Idina! She rocked out so hard, that she said her face was hurting and she shouldn’t wear heavy metal earrings while singing a heavy metal song. After this, she turned to her guitarist and said “You don’t have that problem, fish.” She also said she needed a better bra and touched her boobs. 

I really liked the Wind Beneath My Wings/DG mashup. I’ve heard Defying Gravity live 100 times and I’m sick of it, but the smoke, cape, and background set really added something to it. It made me like the song again. I also loved hearing some Beaches music too! The riffs on BOTH songs were amazing as always! She forgot the words to DG too. OF ALL SONGS.

OKAY, SO I CANT BELIEVE IM SAYING THIS. BUT “I DO” WAS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF THIS CONCERT. And this was the song I avoided listening to because of my anxiety. But I had some weird feeling that I’d have a revelation and love the song while hearing it live, and I DID. Toward the end of the song, Idina had this angry breakdown. I can’t explain it. She kept singing “I Do” and spinning around with her arms out while still holding the cape and swinging it around. Like, you could tell she was angry. But in a good way. She was letting it ALL OUT and being vulnerable and it was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

I liked the cover of Rocksteady. It was different. I was sick of her old covers so it was nice to hear something new. Her weird dancing during this song was hilarious! ALSO, PROPS TO VANESSA BRYAN. THAT WOMAN IS A SINGER!!! I was afraid of her having backup singers bc they usually overpower her, but they didn’t at all! The whole band was great. I liked it better than the last tour where she had an orchestra. I think it consumes her too much.

Clearly Idina knew that a lot of her audience members were repeat attenders, so she explained how she always likes to sing No Day But Today because it reminds her to live in the moment and she talked a little about Jonathan. I always love this part of her shows because it shows that she still acknowledges her humble beginnings. During the part where she holds the mic to the audience to sing “no day but today” like 2 people sang (I swear I could hear my own voice) so that was lame but after she said “thank you, that sounded really beautiful” and I was like OOOOOKAY THEN.

There was one part in the show (I can’t remember when) where Idina was like “I’m always keepin it real” I’n like HECK YEAHHH (that probably didn’t need to be written down but it was funny) EDIT: It was when she was moving her stool. And she said “I move my own furniture.” Then, she said her manager Burt made a request for the stool to come out from the stage like Beyonce (obviously kidding)

The Dear Prudence/Do You Wanna Build A Snowman mashup was interesting. I wasn’t thrilled about Idina singing another frozen song but it wasn’t a bad mashup and didn’t bother me as much as I expected.

I also thought “Let It Go” would piss me off but only 6 kids came up and it seemed a lot more organized than what I’ve seen at other shows. It was hilarious because Idina said (about the kids’ parents) “THESE ARE THE PARENTS WHO BRING THEIR KIDS TO A CASINO AT NIGHT” and I died. And I think one of the kids had the same bday as her? (Or maybe an audience member?) So she said “Yeah but you’re 30 years younger!” She took a selfie with all of the kids when they were done singing and it was cute. Then said they were all gonna play craps after the show. When the kids were going back to their parents, she was SO SALTY. I LOVED IT. She said to the parents, PUT THE PHONES DOWN AND TAKE YOUR KIDS.” HAHAH. EDIT: the boy (who was about 15) actually said to HER that he’s 30 years younger and she mimicked him.

Random side note: when I was on line for the bathroom after the concert, two of the kids who sang with her were walking the other way and they seemed so excited that they got to go up on stage. So even if I get pissed about Frozen and Idina giving all of the attention to the kids, hearing them say that was priceless.

The “I See You” fan videos were a nice addition and not what I was expecting at all. It was a great way to end the concert and I’m glad there was some fan input in there. I really liked when she talked about the African saying, how one person says “I see you” and the other person says, “I see you, I’m here.” That was beautiful.

There was a lot I probably forgot or didn’t talk about, but it was a great concert. Much more fast-paced and streamlined than last time. (The run time was about 2 hours by the way, maybe even less. It ended a little before 10). There wasn’t a lot of chatter in between songs which kind of sucked, but it reminded me a lot more of the intimate concerts from back in the day. Idina seemed so happy to be there and free, and she really seems like she’s in a good place now. And I liked that a lot. I think it’s illegal to like a performer this much and I can’t wait to see her live again!

[blvckgarnet]

The Power of Just Being (Day 1-3)

On Saturday I drove home. Away from my problems. Away from my clients. Away from worries about school. Away from my bills. Away from my apartment. I packed my car. I dropped my cat at a friends house. I just. Went. Home. Back to my family home. This was a much needed break. A pause in my life that was long overdue. Typically trips home are filled with worry and work. It's a different kind of worry tho. It's a "Jay when are you gonna do those dishes?" "I need you to go to the store." "When are you gonna get married?" "When are you re-enrolling in school?" Kind of worry and work. It's familiar, in a way. A family oriented, 'I'm back to being viewed as a child' kind of feeling, so it's not horrible like the problems I live with on my own. A reduced, subdued kind of stressor, but a stressor none the less. But this trip home, I didn't even have to worry about that. My parents went away on a cruise. I told my coworkers I was going with them. I still don't know why. Sometimes I think it's just easier to let people believe you're doing something exciting. People fill in the gaps on their own that way. "Oh I went on a cruise once!" "Wow I wish I was going!" "That sounds awesome!" Which works for me because the less explaining I have to do, the better. Anyway. I was not going on the cruise. I was going home to watch the house and my younger brother who isn't so young. Standing 6ft 3 at 20 years of age, he definitely didnt need a baby sitter, but there's no way I'd pass up an opportunity to spend a whole 8 days away from my life. A brief sabbatical in a nearly empty house. Filled with solace, silence, a washer and dryer that I didn't have to pay for, and a fully stocked fridge. That was better than any cruise in my book. A reprieve more potent, more relaxing than any trip. I needed this. I spent the first 2 days home just sleeping. Something that never would've flown if my mother were present. In her book, at 26 years of age I was not above being micro managed. But she wasn't home, so I slept. And slept. And slept. These 4 hour depression naps in 2hour intervals were almost holy. It was as if I hadn't slept in years. I had all these plans to recalibrate myself during this week of virtual solitude. So many things to realign. So much rewiring to be done. My eating habits had become abysmal. My circadian rhythm was way off. My mind was turning bitter. I found myself being envious, a trait I never possessed. Pragmatic as I'd always been, pessimism was not in my nature yet it was slowly but surely becoming a familiar presence. I was overworked, tired, anxious, depressed and sour, even by my own standards. Which says a lot for someone who's battled with functional depression as a baseline for years. The truth was as an introvert, I had maxed out my social meter weeks ago. This summer had been brutal to me. Leaving me little room to recuperate between working 2 jobs, and trying to breathe vitality back into a virtually dead social life. I was trying to rectify 3 years of reclusion, 3 years of depressed isolation, in 3 months. And I burnt myself out horribly. That in conjunction with 2 very social jobs (wedding planning and case management for the severely mentally ill), struggling with bills, and still trying to figure out my academic situation, left my inner world in shambles. I was stretched far too thin and the silly bands of my mind were cracking. So, first things first, I turned to my favorite coping mechanism since middle school; I slept. I had several dreams. But that was nothing new. My dreamscape is pretty vast. It's also much more salient and vibrant, almost tangible even, when I'm home. But that's another story for another time. On the third day (today) I slept half the day. It was as if my battery was on 90%. I just needed another nap to fully tip my meter. And nap I did. And upon waking up I felt renewed. It's not perfect but it's definitely the beginning of something good. I had all these plans of working out and fixing my eating habits, but I'm finding there's a lot more power in just being. Just doing exactly what I'd like to do in that moment and enjoying it. So maybe I'll get around to running... maybe I'll get around to editing those photographs I brought with me... but that's only if I feel like it. And I won't feel guilty for it. I refuse to feel guilty for it. I feel good. For the first time in months. And feeling good naturally makes me want to be productive. It's a beautiful thing. I'm going to cherish this week at home. I'm going to get back in touch with myself organically. I feel so at peace already. And maybe I'll write some more of this and maybe I won't. Lol.

[tuthillscopes-blog]

Carl Bass on his surprising Autodesk exit and whats next

check it out @ https://tuthillscopes.com/carl-bass-on-his-surprising-autodesk-exit-and-whats-next/

Carl Bass on his surprising Autodesk exit and whats next

Carl Bass is sitting at his desk at Autodesk today, but hes no more Chief executive officer from the openly traded design software company. He walked lower the 2009 week inside a move that some connected wrongly, notesBass by having an interview Bass granted towards the outlet Pando,wherein he disparaged President Jesse Trump.

Today, we spoken with Bass about his resignation, his ongoing role like a board member with Autodesk, ifhe regrets reporting in from the administration like a public company Chief executive officer and whetherhe thinks more tech CEOs must do exactly the same.

The famously straight-shooting Bass had plenty to say of everything. Also, he shared a number of what he wishes to focus on next. Our conversation continues to be edited gently for length.

TC: You walked lower as Chief executive officer on Tuesday, and senior VPs Amar Hanspal and Andrew Anagnost happen to be installed as interim co-CEOs. But youre helping in the quest for your substitute, is the fact that correct?

CB: Yes, Tuesday was my last day, but Ill continue being employed as an worker for 3 several weeks and am ongoing around the board of company directors for some time. We began planning this not long ago, because the easiest method to do [a succession change] is perfect for the present Chief executive officer to step lower. Otherwise, the very best exterior candidates arent sure theres a real job opening. You realize, sometimes you seethe pocket veto, in which the Chief executive officer includes a change of heart and states, Hey, if you are likely to choose so and thus, I am not departing. This can be a clean break, and outdoors candidates work hard at it, and also the board takes it seriously. Weve hired an outdoors search team who definitely are speaking with internal and exterior candidates, so hopefully [well find the correct candidate] rapidly.

TC: Youve stated that you simply and Autodesks board started succession planning talks 18 several weeks ago, however, many people believe aninterview in which you belittled Jesse Trump performed a job within the timing of the resignation.

CB: There have been lots of rumors now that couldnt be more wrong. Towards the extent that you simply take exactly what a company states having a touch of suspicion [because companies is really so marketing], with regards to governance, they are real rules. You will find real penalties of law. Public companies dont take that gently.

TC: Would you regret being so public about your feelings about Trump?

CB: Not, by no means. Not just one bit. Whenever you take a look at Trump, you will find three things happening: policies character and temperament and executive or administrative functioning. I believe on two and three, almost everyone can agree that he is not qualified, because of that , I joked [to Pandos Sarah Lacy]that hes runningthe government like someone among a little businessman and dictator. I watch whats happening every single day, and Im advised of my children once they were 4 years old coupled with no understanding of anything outdoors of themselves. Hes a 70-year-old baby.

Around the policy stuff, its difficult to parse what his policy is. Were against the main one China policy now were for it. Would slowly move the U.S. embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem now were not. Policy appears is the area of the job that least interests him.They are complicated issues, however they dont appear to captivate him. He doesnt appear particularly curious or thoughtful about the subject. Hes interested in tweeting the latest insult that [springs tomind].

TC: Do you consider other tech executives ought to be more vocal, or perhaps is it an excessive amount of a danger?

CB: I believe anybody with a platform should speak out. Ive had a lot of people achieve out tome now peoplemuch better-known than I’m, say, Thats awesome, that which you stated. And Im like, Why dont you express it? You’ve got a bigger pulpit.

TC: Many people think Tesla and SpaceX Chief executive officer Elon Musk should step off Trumps economic advisory council. What is your opinion?

CB: Its an elaborate problem for Elon.I thinkmany of the things that hes attempting to accomplish are actually worthy goals however they intersect with regulation: autonomous vehicles, putting things wide. You cannot do this with no government, so from the very self-interested perspective, as well as in the eye of his companies, I realize. However, he’s a really public platform and Imsure he’s a viewpoint and when everyone takes the self-interested view, the planet doesnt reach hear the opinions of their leaders. And So I think its important however i certainly understand.

Ive [feel much more strongly about Facebook COO] SherylSandberg. Shehas gone from her method to develop a brand around the strength of womenand what theyre able to, and with regards to the Womens March, she wasinvisible. She appears to possess leaned out a great deal.

TC: Why have you start succession planning 18 several weeks ago? Lots of CEOs run their companies more than you’ve.

CB: Id been performing for any lengthy time. Ive been Chief executive officer for 11 many there have been 2 or 3 years after i was COO and accountable for the companys day-to-day, therefore it seems like 14 years that Ive been carrying this out.

And That I have ample other interests. Im on a number of boards [includingHP and Zendesk andstill-private startups,including Planet]. I’ve got a small portfolio of products Ive committed to. I’ve two bigworkshops where I build and invent things making stuff.

I really like the organization and that i love my job, however it hugely consumes your time and effort. Like all other executive job, its 60 hrs per week and when you allow 60, the task [demands]65. Youre never done. To complete the job well, additionally you need the years skin. You’ll need thick skin when individuals think you had been fired since you stated something about Trump. You’ll need thin skin to empathize together with your customers and employees and also the world surrounding you. And all sorts of individuals forces get tiring before long. My second kid got away from home this yearand I must take more time within the shop, traveling with startups.

TC: You had been also coping with activist investor groups Sachem Mind Capital and Eminence Capital who together collected an 11.five percent stake in the organization.

CB:Last fall, i was while making the modification, and merely then, the activists demonstrated up. I shouldn’t overemphasize it’s not like they’d a great deal to say about the organization. It was not that people used to do badly. They more thoughtwe were sandbagging concerning the future and now we ought to be speaking up which our lengthy-range projections were [too conservative]. It had been, Everyone could do two times too! Well, its easyto say in the sidelines. Easy that i can say Atlanta must have won the Super Bowl, however i didnt need to play.

Therefore we suspended succession planning. We use it hold because weneeded more stable leadership as the activists have there been and if the next Chief executive officer is definitely an exterior or internal person, it appears as an unfair burden to put in it. I’ve got a fair quantity of currency staying with you Im a lot more prepared to fight than many more. I figured, This can be a job designed for me, and that i should stay before the activists choose to leave.

So this past year these were around the board. The companys stock expires 70 or 80 % during the last 12 several weeks, the think markets convey more confidence in [Autodesks relocate 2015 to some subscription-only model], so we wereable to create a deal. I stated, Im prepared to do this again process if everyone leave the board. Now theyre moving away from the board [when the new Chief executive officer is elected], and Im escaping . asCEO.

TC: Plastic Valley startups have become more conscious of theneedto defend themselves from activist investorsand theyve more and more been granting founders special kinds of stock that provide them control of key decisions. Do you consider thats the reply to this problem?

CB: Yes. Basically would be a founder, I’d have particular stock. Because numerous things in corporate governance have given themselves to activists making use, I believe the response needs to be, a minimum of for the short term, that companies have dual-class mechanisms in position.

I believe neither extreme is nice, though. I believe activism is that this deviant, extreme type of capitalism. Its like other ideologies, wheregood ideas are come to a serious and lose their meaning. However, I do not think dual-class stock is the greatest mechanism because shareholders must have a say.

Id want to see tenured voting, where theresa premium depending on how lengthy you have the shares. I do not are conscious of any public company which has tried it yet, however i have no idea the reason why you no longer can do it. [It might follow that] one individual that has owneda million shares for just one year has less voting power than someone else that has owned millions of shares for 2 years.

TC: Before we allow you to go, whats next? Is every venture firm on Sand Hill Road attempting to lure you in to the fold?

CB: Ive been shocked by the amount of those who have plans for which I ought to do next. Its a funnymix within my inbox at this time. Ive received4,000 emails from employees, that are very touching and emotional. However, you will find each one of these people looking to get me to behave next.

I amgoing to complete an advisory role at Google X. Ive been considering [potentially] startingmy own accelerator program. Within the next couple of several weeks Ill evaluate which Im likely to do. Meanwhile, I wish to keep skiing around the weekdays.

Find out more: https://techcrunch.com/2017/02/10/carl-bass-on-his-surprising-autodesk-exit-and-whats-next/

[viralhottopics]

The Epic Story of O.J.: Made in Americas Creation

When Ezra Edelman set out to make the documentary O.J.: Made in America, he had one goal: To make a five-hour movie about howthe 1995 O.J. Simpson murder case became a flashpoint for talking about race and the American criminal justice system. Not only didhe hit his goal, but he overshot that runtime by about three hours.

“No sane person would do this,” Edelman says now, sitting in a lounge in New York’s Post Factory, where his doc was edited. Talking about it now its like ‘This is fucking crazy.’ The whole thing is a huge leap of faith. You have no knowledge of what exists from an archival standpointyou dont know anything. You just go, ‘Lets try to tackle this to the best of our abilities.’”

In the end, he took some 800 hours of footagesome from archive material, some from interviews with 72 peopleand boiled it down into one single 467-minute movie. It took him more than two years. But he didnt do it alone. In fact, it wasnt even entirely his idea. We spoke with Edelman and his creative partners to get the story ofhow they created the wildly ambitious documentary.

February, 2014: The Beginning

Connor Schell, executive producer and senior VP, ESPN Films: Weve been producing a series of documentary films at ESPN called 30 for 30 since 2009. In that time, we gained more of a foothold in documentary filmmaking, working with various directors, and tackling topics of real cultural importance where sports is your window in. I certainly knew Ezras work and Id been thinking about O.J. Simpson for a long time, but our pursuit of wanting to do something on O.J. Simpson always started from, Well, how do you conceive of something thats not obvious? This is territory thats very well-covered, be that in books, articles, or other documentary films. Obviously, theres a section of this story thats from [the murder of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman in] June 1994 to [Simpson’s acquittal in] October of 1995 that, if you make a project about O.J. Simpson, youre going to have to cover. But I was always interested in the full picture. What came before and what came after. And where could O.J.s story take you? That led to a few conversations between Ezra and I and he conceived of this approach and of this film.

Edelman:The thing he first said was We want to make a five-hour film. Thats what interested me. That was before he even told me what it was about. When he told me what it was about I was not that interested. My thought was What can I add to this story? They had already done a film on O.J.June 17, 1994, Brett Morgens rendition of the day of the Bronco chase. Connor wanted to do something more challenging and that jibed with something I wanted to do.

Schell:We were interested in the context, in the story of race, of celebrity, and how O.J. helps you tell that story. We started the conversation about a really long movie by saying OK, when you get to that period, why was it so meaningful? Why did it mean so much to white American and black American and why did they view it so differently? Thats a story were really interestedin telling and therefore, it needs to be long.

April 2014: The Research

Because Edelmans movie details thehistory of the relationship between the the Los Angeles Police Department and African-American communities long before Simpson was a student the University of Southern California, his team had to find footage of events like the Watts riots and families from the South moving to LA.

Edelman: From there it was a few months of me just reading. That’sall I did: I got up and I read. Jeffrey Toobins bookThe Run of His Life, Lawrence Schillers bookAmerican Tragedy. This great book by Lou Cannon called Official Negligence, which is about the history of the LAPD. But the first thing I did, was address the practical question of How the fuck do we get this done? So that meant just calling Caroline [Waterlow, the movies producer] and being like Caroline, so theres this thing. Its going to be big. I think itll be interesting. It might not be so fun, but I can think of no other person who I would want to help me craft this.

Caroline Waterlow:I remember we had pizza. My initial reaction was O.J.? You feel like its a story that surely we know about. All the films Ive worked on have been predominantly archival, historical docs, so the idea of being able to get into the early context and history became interesting to me quickly. Then my job was to hire people to figure out how to do that. This is not a job for a young associate producer whos like just starting out. You cant ask them, “So, can you call the former DA of Los Angeles?” We needed really experienced people who knew what they were doing.

Edelman: She found all the people for the team and from there it was just the combination of experience and alchemy.

Edelman and and Waterlow soon brought on producer Tamara Rosenberg, who was tasked with tracking down all of the docs sources, and producer Nina Krstic, who had to find and create a database of 500-600 hours of archival footage.

Tamara Rosenberg: I got a phone call from Caroline first and I was like, O.J.? Nothing in my resume points me towards that subject. But then I had my first meeting with Ezra and he already had an outline of what he wanted to do and it was very apparent to me that that wasnt going to be any other O.J. story. This was going to be differentand great.

Nina Krstic:His enthusiasm was a clincher. Also, it was like, “How can you refuse such a challenge?” How do you find archive of that that someone has never seen before? I think it was a challenge Id dreamed about my whole life and there it was.

Edelman: [Deadpan] I just want, for the record, to note how much both of them talked about my enthusiasm.

Schell: He jokes about it, but when hes engaged, its all he can think or talk about. Hes in.

Edelman: Which I imagine is comforting for an executive. [Laughs.]

August 2014: Building the Story

Edelman: With this large of a canvas, there was a need and an ambition to tell O.J.s story with some sort of thoroughness. I was interested in telling the story of what happened to him after the trial; at the same time, I wanted to tell this other story about therelationship between the black community and the police department in LA, and that that was going to inform this greater story about race in America. Then there was this story about him as a cultural icon that existed on this other level. But it all came back where we were going with the trial. It feels like the ultimate American Studies paper.

O.J. Simpson arrives next door to Watts a year after the riots, but hes in this really white, conservative, apolitical place, right next to a place that had just burned out of frustration. You see all these parallel tracks and its like, ‘Isnt this everything we were talking about with the trial years later?’ Thats a core place to start the story.director Ezra Edelman

O.J. becomes famous for football, and thats all he has to do to get noticed. Then right down the coast theres a community of people in Watts that were so frustrated and outraged with how they were being treated by the police that this sort of ends up inciting the riots in 1965. And this is what this community is doing to have their voices heard. So theres this juxtaposition. Then O.J.arrives next door to that like a year later, but hes in this really white, conservative, apolitical place, right next to a place that had just burned out of frustration. You see all these parallel tracks and its like, Isnt this everything we were talking about with the trial years later?

Waterlow: There was a big bulletin board that I had made. That was the first place that we started building timelines of O.J.s life and what was going on in the world. Then just names. [Prosecutor] Marcia Clark, of course, but also the names of childhood friends. It was just a board of a million names.

Edelman: It was organized chaos. I was looking for first-person voices:people who lived through this history at every point, whether its O.J.s football career or the LAPD. When you look at the people who are the most important and impactful people in the film, youre like I didnt know who any of these people were. I was standing on a train platform somewhere in Connecticut, and Tamaracalled me up and she was like, So I just talked these guys, I dunno, they were a couple of O.J.s childhood friends… and I had never heard of them, but thats exactly where this whole thing comes together. Every time that happens, its like a small victory.

Rosenberg:My character list is a 100-page Word document. In there are people we did interview, people who were maybes, and just people we looked at, and people who just said no. It was a big casting job. It was a constant dialogue with Ezra. As he felt ready to tackle a certain period of O.J.s life, then we started populating those areas with people. So it would be OK, were ready to talk about his USC years, and then I would go on the hunt for his team players from those years.

We had a great PA on the team, who was very good at tracking people down. I would just send names to him, and he would triangulate and I dont know what to find people. He would post on message boards. I dont even know what he did and I dont want to know. He would just send me a phone number and be like I have a good feeling about this one.”Then it was just a job of calling them and saying Hey, this is what were doing and really trying to impress upon them that this was not just another O.J. doc, and that was hard because a lot of these people had approached by the press before, so we were guilty by association.

Waterlow: And then as soon as we found a person it was a matter of Is there any footage of that amazing USC game? and Nina [Krstic] would have to get involved.

Nina Krstic: When I got started in September the first goal was: find every single interview with O.J. And then it was filling in the historical stuff. So there weretwo layers to it. There was also finding stuff that was pre-90s and then it was Rodney King, murder trial, and everything else. Once you get to the 90s theres tons of stuff, but we dont want to see the same footage all over again. Also, with news stories, I wanted raw footage, because I dont want a news editor from 94 deciding whats good and whats not good.

Fall 2014-Winter 2015: The Interviews

Waterlow:Ezra did every one of those interviews, so to prep for those was major.

Edelman:There is a method to the madness. You know you want Marcia Clark, you know you want these bigger characters, but youre not going to call them up initially. You want to be as prepared before you get to that point. But also, you just have to start. So we interviewed 72 people; 66 are in the film, but two of the people that arent we interviewed on the first day because you just need to get going.

Rosenberg:Some people I would talk to for many months before we finally got them. Hands down, as a group, the jurors [for Simpsons murder trial] were the hardest to convince. We reached out to a bunch of them. Some we couldnt find. Ezra and I met with Yolanda Crawford at some stage and although she was hard to find, once we found her and talked to her she was on board.

Edelman: We ended up going to shoot in Las Vegas in January of 2015 to interview someone we didnt actually end up getting to interview, which is one of the jury consultants for the defense. But we were going there so it was like, We should probably try to talk to people involved in the robbery. Talk about a place were not at yet. But sometimes you just have to figure it out.” Thats where youre making a mini movie within the massive movie.

Waterlow: With this film, more than any others that Ive worked on, there was a lot of Dont say nolet me have coffee with you. We had to make our case about who we are and what we were doing. There were several trips to LA, in October, November, and December. Las Vegas in January. There were five or six shoots in the fall.

Some people I would talk to for many months before we finally got them. Hands down, as a group, the jurors were the hardest to convince.producer Tamara Rosenberg

Edelman: The jury was a big part of the canvas, but the prosecution was an even bigger part. And we were having no luck. There were just four main people [in the prosecution], and we need at least one. That was really stressful. I really wanted Chris Darden. I spent a week reading his book and writing him a letterno response, no response, no response. But we had to keep going. I finally got [district attorney] Gil Garcetti’semail from a family friend in January or February, four months after wed started shooting, and he said, Youre welcome to come out and talk to me next time youre in LA, but I wont do an interview. You go and have a lovely conversation for two hours and hes like Im still not doing an interview and Im like, Dude, that could have been the interview. This could be done. But after three conversations and two visits to his house, it was like 10:30 pm on a Tuesday nightand he wrote me an email or sent me a text and said, Alright, Im going to do it. There was a palpable sense of relief.We had already gotten to the point where we were going to start editing.

February, 2015: Editing Begins

Waterlow: There was lots of archival being gathered the whole time. We knew there would be plenty for [Bret Granato, one of the film’s three editors]to start. Thirty interviews, maybe.

Granato:I had wasted a lot of my sophomore year in college following the trial. When we first started, the first thing I put my hands on was the Watts riots section. When I first talked to Ezra I had mentioned that I knew a lot about the trial, and he was kind of unimpressed by that. [Laughs] He said that he really wanted Los Angeles to be a character. So that was the first thing we touched.

Edelman:While he was working on another film, before he was officially working on this, he was taking the audio of the interviews that we had shot and listening to them on his own. So he showed up with this sense of where we were going.

Granato:How Ezra works is he creates this 50-60 page document of the roadmap. We met a few times before the edit to go over that. Its very specific with him: Were going to start with Watts.

Krstic: I made sure that every section of O.J.s life had at least a representative amount of footage to give Bret the freedom to start with it. Then there was also the massive job of organizing over 500 hours of footage, sub-clipping it, keywording it, making the job a year down the line so much easier. My eyes still cross when I think about this, but I basically made a huge database, and then every entry in the database has a clip and its all searchable.

Schell: The amazing thing is the exercise in logistics. Ezras off researching and doing an interview, Tamara is three or five shoots ahead of him, trying to get people lined up. Then Brets trying to tell a story around all of these parts

There was the massive job of organizing over 500 hours of footage, sub-clipping it, keywording it, making the job a year down the line so much easier. My eyes still cross when I think about this, but I basically made a huge database, and then every entry in the database has a clip and its all searchable.producer Nina Krstic

Waterlow: And Nina is IM-ing all day with three people being like What do you need? What do you need? What do you need?

Schell: The idea that it could all come together to fit the vision laid out is quite astonishing.

Edelman: Im used to feeling like I have to be in control of everything. But this was the first time where it was like, That shit aint gonna work. I talked to Tamara a lot because were talking about the characters and interviews. And Caroline and I have this its a little more fraternal.

Waterlow: Im the truth-teller.

Edelman: We just have our own thing. Bret and I get to talk about the story, butunfortunately for himIm sitting behind him like Pig-Pen and the sky is always falling and hes like Dude, this is hard enough. But with Nina, shes the one person, and I say this lovingly, shes a machine.

Krstic: It was never-ending. Even when we were locked, there was still always one little thing wed need.

Granato: I feel like all of our scenes were built initially to just tell it the best way it could be told, then we would make it betterbut when we were making it better, we werent necessarily making it shorter.

Spring/Summer, 2015: Interviews Continue

Rosenberg: We found Carrie Bess, one of the jurors, pretty early on and Ezra and I met her and had coffee and she was fairly non-committal. I made it a habit ever time wed land in LA to drive to her place. She didnt use email and barely used the phone, so it was just about me showing up and saying hi. She would give me lemons from her lemon tree. We had a cute relationship that way. But she never fully committed. So finally on one of our last trips to LA, I remember sitting with her under her lemon tree and saying, Carrie, you have to do this. Luckily enough she was like, OK, come back in a couple of days.

Edelman:She didnt have any interest in us and this thing. Sometimes shes engaged and sometimes not. Sometimes shed say something profound and wonderful, sometimes she says something kooky. Theres a realness to her. As a documentary filmmaker, what more do you want?

Rosenberg: I had a feeling on the day of the interview that I had to show up before the team, so I drove over and of course Carrie Bess had completely forgotten. She was covered in paint because she was re-painting her house. I pushed her in the shower and went to her closet and opened it and took out like three different outfitsand was like Wear this!

Edelman: That wasnt even the last LA trip. The last real shoot that Tamara and I went on in LA was we interviewed [Ron Goldmans father] Fred Goldman and Mark Fuhrman.Fuhrmanwas reluctant to do the interview and, like a lot of people, was not thrilled at the idea of this being donebut healso didnt know who we were. Why would you trust someone with your sensitive feelings and your past? I found someone who engaged us respectfully, and in a trusting manner. I think the guy deserves a lot of credit.

Waterlow: Thats a testament to the job Tamara and Ezra did on the interviews. Many people after the interview would say Thats the smartest interview anybodys ever done and Ive talked about this a lot. Including Marcia Clark.

I remember just sitting for a whole week just reading Marcia Clark’s book, reading articles, watching stuff, and not picking up the phone.producer Tamara Rosenberg

Rosenberg:I remember just sitting for a whole week just reading her book, reading articles, watching stuff, and not picking up the phone. I think its in Slouching Towards Bethlehem where Joan Didion just sits next to the phone for three hours, staring at it. I had the same thing. And by the time I talked to her I was fully prepared. The first 10 minutes of the phone call did not go so well, and I remember in that call where I was like, Ugh, shes gonna say no. Then we turned a corner. She asked me what I was doing during the trial and I wasnt here. [Rosenberg was studying in Israel.] I think that made a huge difference. The fact that I wasnt one of these people who was obsessively following it and aware of every single flaw and what was going on with her hair and wardrobe, that changed something. Then she was great. I love Marcia. And she sat for how long? Six hours?

Edelman: About five hours. Shes pretty fierce. She is so in control of who she is and what she experienced.

Rosenberg: Somebody like [news helicopter pilot] Zoey Tur, was one of those wonderful moments where archival and casting were working together because she was on both our radars for different reasons. Nina was looking at her because the footage she had shot of the riots and the Bronco chase and I had her on my radar as a storyteller. We both pursued her and got this great material.

It felt infinite. Its like looking at the sun, though, you dont want to ever look at the big picture.editor Bret Granato

Waterlow: And I loved how unabashed she was about things. Shes like Yeah, Im a journalist, Im going to get the fucking story. She represented that so well, and owned it.

Krstic: All told, there was about between 500-600 hours of archival footage and then 72 interviews.

Waterlow: Its probably 800 hours total, if were talking about interviews and archival footage.

Granato: It felt infinite. Its like looking at the sun, though, you dont want to ever look at the big picture. You trust the process. My job is to create as compelling a five-minute thingas I can, and then take a step back and see if it connects. But I wouldve melted if Id actually thought about what we were trying to do. Its too much to comprehend.

January, 2016: That Other Massive O.J. Show

Edelman had known about it for a while, but in January 2016, when he took his forthcoming doc to a Television Critics Association event, he had to come face-to-face with the fact that Ryan Murphy and his FX juggernaut were also releasing a massive retelling of Simpson’s tale: The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story. Not only would it be based on a book by Jeffrey Toobin, who was one of Edelman’s sources, it would be coming out months before Made in America hit theaters or ESPN.

When youre making this huge thing and you find out someone else is doing a 10-hour series nominally about the same thing, youre like ‘What the fuck?’director Ezra Edelman on The People v. O.J. Simpson

Edelman: To be honest, there were concurrent documentary projects that were being done that were causing a lot more stress than that. Having said that when youre making this huge thing and you find out someone else is doing a 10-hour series nominally about the same thing, youre like What the fuck? But you can only worry about it so much. Ill admit to being personally not thrilled. What are the odds? When we went to the TCAs in January to basically publicly announce the existence of this film three weeks before Sundance, all the journalists in the room had already seen the first six episodes of the FX series and they were all telling us how incredible it was.

Waterlow: We kept being like, “I didnt make that. I dont know how to answer that.”

Edelman: My legitimate fear was: Here is a 10-hour television series about O.J., about the trial, its going to be on television before ours will be out in the world, I dont know that people have that appetite to watch another huge thing about O.J. Thats why it was important for me for it to screen at Sundance, because that was before it was on TV. That way it was clear we werent drafting off of the success of that. That made me feel OK. Frankly, that didI can now sayabsolutely whet the appetite and re-engage people with this story in a way that they wanted the non-fiction narrative. It worked.

January to May 2016: The End (Sort of)

Granato: Ezra and I would stay late nights and work on the film and I dont think there was a single walk back to the train that wasnt about the film and how to make the film better.

Edelman: I didnt ask about your kid?

Granato: Did you know I have a kid? [Laughs] The last night when we locked itit didnt feel like a lock, but it was my last night therewe were still talking about the film. I dont know that I ever had a moment where I was like Ah, thats done! It is such a living, breathing creature. It still doesnt feel done.

Schell: Even when we had gotten to picture lock and submitted the film to Sundance, and it was accepted Even after it screened there, Ezra was obsessed with the fact that it was still a temp score.

Edelman: That was causing me a lot of angst. Itwas a continual process. The first few months of this year, I was still working on the film. We upgraded footage after Sundance, we swapped out the score. We were working up until the time it was screened in theaters in the middle of May. We were working up to the day we had to deliver the hard drives [to theaters]. I watched the last two hours of this on Vice the other night, against my better judgment, and if I could go into the edit room today there would be some things Id want to do.

Waterlow: Because we had these intermissions built in, theres three drives for each version of the film. I remember calling box offices and calling theater managers and being like Did you get it?!

Because we had these intermissions built in, theres three drives for each version of the film that we had to send. I remember calling box offices and calling theater managers and being like ‘Did you get it?!’producer Caroline Waterlow

Schell: This is not a small ask of someones time, to have people commit to an entire day of having someone watch something. But then to understand how engaged they are and the conversations they want to have afterwards is incredible to see.

Edelman: Again, if we knew what we were doing, we wouldve never started.

Schell: But to add to that, whats incredible about the media environment we exist in right now, is that this can exist as a film, and also on ESPN and via video-on-demand, and via DVD, and streaming.We can expose millions of people to that story.

Edelman:People dont necessarily have eight hours and 15 minutes to spend in a movie theater. I get that. So, we worked really hard to create this thing, and if people watch it on their TVs streaming, thats fine. Ive never seen it on TV. Ill never watch something Ive done on ESPN with commercials. Not the previous film I did, not this one. It makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I know this should be experienced as this beginning-to-end thing, but we have fractured lives. Thats not the world we live in.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2jgNGdM

from The Epic Story of O.J.: Made in Americas Creation