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#2 whole weeks sobeR let’s talk abt it#this the longest I’ve gone without a crumb of weed in my system in 5 yrs and the second longest in 8 yrs#For a long long time I thought I was self medicating the adhd but turns out I was making it Significantly worse#I have an attention span now I can watch tv without scrolling on my phone or playing w fidget toys#My apartment has stayed perfectly clean for the past 2 wks#haven’t rly struggled with eating or sleeping routines are v important wit it tho#been relying heavily on safe foods I’ve eaten the same exact thing every day for 2 weeks but it’s fine#ashwagandha helps me not wanna peel my skin off in rage#time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life#but also I have So Much more time to do things and SO much more energy to do the things#I thought being anxious and exhausted was just my constant state of being but turns out that was Also just the weed#The insane nightmares have been The hardest part but most of the time my dreams are just weird#Feeling emotions is weird I’ve cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 2 years#I cry about good things I cry about beautiful things art as a whole is just so moving#self regulating after stressful things like work or staying with my parents is definitely New as w as decompressing after socializing w ppl#I do things like paint and journal and make silly little bracelets now#Idk man it just hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be#A few months ago me and ******** were talking about how we’d actually k word ourselves without it#turns out the jazz cabb was making my depression and anxiety so much worse than it actually is#shits literally fine#Anyways don’t let ppl tell u u can’t develop an unhealthy relationship w weed I was h*gh every waking second of my day for 5 yrs#Last time I tried this I immediately became an alcoholic instead this time I don’t even feel the desire to have a single little drink#Overall I have A Lot more self control in every single area of my life#I don’t waste my money on dumb shit I can eat normal amount of food like a normal person#The thought of buying my favorite cookies and only having like Two of them used to be such an unreasonable concept to my little brain#I don’t know if this is gonna be a permanent thing I definitely know I can’t do it habitually#just like I learned I can be normal about alcohol if I don’t keep it in my house and only do it when socializing for special occasions#anyways if ur thinking about taking a break from ur favorite substance maybe give it a try#thx for coming 2 my ted talk if u read the whole thing I luv u take care of urself
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💕 Subtle Eros Worship 🏹
Sending kind or appreciative messages to loved ones
Writing love letters to yourself
Keep a self-care/self-love journal
Have a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)
Keep a picture of him in your wallet
Wear jewelry that reminds you of him
Make yourself feel pretty/handsome/attractive; wear makeup, paint your nails, style your hair, wear your favorite outfit, etc.
Wear perfume/cologne that you like
Have a stuffed animal dolphin or hare/rabbit
Have imagery of bow and arrows, lyres, hearts, or wings (wings are especially good in a Christian household)
Eat an apple
Drink rose tea; eat rose flavored treats
If you have a partner, do something kind or romantic for them; take them out on a date, send them a kind message, give them a gift, etc.
Engage with self-care and self-love often
Take a relaxing bath/shower
Learn archery
Keep a journal for poetry/short stories, especially about love, friendship, and the like
Listen/sing to love songs that you enjoy
Support LGBTQ+ and SA survivor organizations
Express yourself in little ways, if unable to be open; wearing a bracelet that represents your gender, pride flag colored shoelaces, etc.
Show the same love to yourself that you give to others
Make a list of positive things about yourself, such as things you like or enjoy
Give yourself compliments each day; be gentle and kind with yourself
Sit on a beach or near a body of water and meditate or ground yourself
Focus on media that makes you feel good
Read love stories; watch movies about love (can be romantic or platonic)
Buy a bouquet of flowers, for yourself or a loved one; roses are especially good
Eat your favorite candy; give yourself a little treat when able
Learning about/implementing safe sex
Engaging with things you're passionate about
Practice compassion towards others
Assert your boundaries; it is kind to both yourself and the other person to call out harmful behavior or things that harm you
Practice forgiveness, especially towards yourself
Listen to the songs of birds, especially doves
Be a little silly and playful; embrace the child within you! c:
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I may update this later! For now, enjoy my list of discreet ways to worship Eros. Take care, everyone! 🩷
Link to Subtle Worship Master list
#eros deity#eros worship#helpol#hellenic polytheism#hellenic pagan#deity worship#paganblr#pagan tips
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Of course if I do the Brothers gifts I/My MC would give them, I have to do the Dateables. So here they are!
Brothers Masterlist | Dateables Masterlist
DIY Gifts for the Datables
👑 Diavolo: A friendship bracelet
What do you give a Prince that can have anything? The gift of eternal friendship in the form of a bracelet.
Diavolo immediately puts it on and always pulls and fiddles with the thing. He often looks down at it with a chuckle thinking of MC. Definitely cries when it breaks and begs MC for another one.
🛎 Barbatos: Custom painted tea set
MC made a tea set at one of those pottery places. They really tried to make it look all floral pretty, but it doesn't look as intricate as porcelain ones.
Barbatos keeps this set in a special china cabinet. All of the items in there are only reserved for the most esteemed guests and are often never used. The only times Barbatos will use this set is with MC, or when he is feeling lonely.
😇 Simeon: Hand Bound Journal
MC punched every hole in every page, stitched it together, and made a custom cover to give Simeon inspiration to write new stories.
He only uses it for book ideas. He never writes full stories in the pages because he doesn't want it to run out of room to fast. Each idea gets its own page with more branching ideas from it of how to write about it. He loves running his hands across the cover when he is done writing for the day.
🐕 Luke: A recipe book with his favorite Devildom, human, and Celestial Realm recipes
MC sees how hard Luke tried to remember every recipe to impress Micheal and they want the small angel to relax and not be under so much stress.
At first he acts like he doesn't need it, bit one time he forgot an ingredient in Newt Fire Soup and it was incredibly helpful so now he doesn't bake or cook without it. He is also very protective about the recipe book and will yell if anyone moves or touches it.
🔮 Solomon: Labels for all of his ingredient jars
This might seem silly, but MC has watched him tear apart his room to find one ingredient because they are not organized or labeled. So they thought this would help.
He loves it. MC even made little drawing of herbs and rocks and items that match the name on the label so he doesn't even have to read. He often finds himself just staring at the jars smiling.
#obey me#obeyme#obey me fluff#fluff#obey me diavolo#obey me simeon#obey me barbatos#obey me luke#diy ideas#obey me headcannons#headcannons#obey me diavolo x mc#obey me barbatos x mc#obey me solomon x mc#obey me simeon x mc#obey me solomon#solomon fluff#simeon fluff#barbatos fluff#diavolo fluff#luke fluff
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Luca Headcanons Part 2
DoesLast one blew up and I was gonna wait to make another before making this one but then my Italian fish obsessed brain couldn’t stop thinking and I literally couldn’t stop myself so let’s go, part 2!
Luca:
Has nightmares of what would happen if things went differently: If he was sent to The Deep, if he and Alberto were outed as sea-monsters before the race, if Ercole, Cicco, and Guido didn’t miss Alberto when throwing the harpoons at the beach, if Alberto didn’t come with the umbrella during the race and he was outed in front of the town and hit with Ercole’s harpoon, etc. He always wakes up terrified.
Apologizes to inanimate objects if he bumps into them or drops them.
Names everything he comes in contact with. Random animals such as birds, insects (even though he’s terrified), erasers he uses often, etc. They’re always random, silly names, but he loves them.
Is a slow reader because of how he fantasizes himself in the books and daydreams, then is snapped back to reality.
Keeps a dream journal!
Loves making stories about the stars and constellations. He loves the original stories, but he loves to make up his own.
Honestly I just get the vibe that he’s scared of birds after the encounter with the seagull.
His favorite color is purple followed by green!
Giulia’s mom buys him his own bike and he loses his mind, loving it so much
He’s a bit awkward with making friends at school, sticking to Giulia’s side most of the time
He doesn’t really care for music
He can fall asleep anywhere, honestly. He once fell asleep leaning against the doorway and then crashed onto the floor
Alberto loves to doodle on his arms and hands and Luca doesn’t really care to wash them off so they just kinda chill there.
He’s very easy to prank and scare
Oh you should see him around the holidays! He’s so excited! His eyes sparkle and shine, he absolutely loves the decorations!
He’s not competitive, actually. He just wanted the prize money to get the Vespa, but he doesn’t really care about winning. He just... Isn’t competitive
He is very protective over his friends. Do what you want to him, but lay a hand on someone he loves and he will tear you a new one. We see him in the movie just frown when Ercole makes fun of him, but when Ercole shoved Alberto, all bets were off.
Charts the stars
He doesn’t have one love language, he has all of them, but probably Physical Touch and Quality Time more than anything, or Acts of Service.
Drinks expresso more often than he probably should, but just to get through his schoolwork
Misses his goatfish more than he wants to admit, especially little Giuseppe
Allergies beat him up during the spring
Slowly gets used to cats with Machiavelli’s kittens, but he’s still scared of the chunky boy
A teacher at school made the mistake of introducing him to Shakespeare. He spent hours sobbing over a good chunk of the plays.
Because he liked Shakespeare, Giulia’s mom got him some poetry books. He was not a fan of Edgar Allan Poe or Agatha Christie or Mary Shelley, all the horror/murder type stuff. He loved Emily Dickinson though!
Is as terrified of losing Alberto as Alberto is terrified of losing him
While he isn’t as touchy with Giulia as he is with Alberto, he does get more touchy with her
Reads tons of books about cats, dogs, and turtles to give Machiavelli, Nerone, and Caligola the care they need
Hears about human farms and loses his mind, rapidly asking questions about how they work and if they’re similar to his own
Giulia tries to convince him that fairytales are real. He has nightmares about them for a few nights until Massimo has to tell him that fairytales are made up and her mom changes them slightly to be more... Non-scary. She starts telling them to him to bed just because she misses doing so, and then he can’t fall asleep without someone telling him a story.
Doesn’t do the handshake with anyone that isn’t Alberto or Giulia.
Giulia’s mom calls him “fishy” or “guppy” and he wants to hate it but he can’t
Hates it when people call him cute or baby him, but his family + Alberto + Marcovaldos still do it
Once heard some French Tourists and stared at Giulia and went “why is their Italian so weird sounding” and she lost her shit laughing
Doesn’t swear, refuses to swear
Tries to use Vespa stamps if they’re available
Once he learns what “Piacere, gioralamo trombetta” means, he sends a letter to Alberto which is just him freaking out and laughing while making fun of it. They don’t stop saying it. In fact, they probably say it more.
He has a map in his room with pushpins of where he’s been. Beside it are a bunch of sticky notes of where he wants to go with Alberto with reasons on why he wants to go.
Has a little bit more courage, but not too much
He’s often teased for calling others “sir” or “ma’am” and so he feels really shy about it but doesn’t stop
Refuses to call Massimo and Giulia’s mom by their names, it just feels too awkward for him
Makes friendship bracelets for the trio as well as separate ones for him and Alberto, then him and Giulia.
While he loves gelato, he doesn’t like it as much as Alberto
I feel like he’d dot the i’s in Giulia’s name with hearts but no one else’s
People at school think he has a crush on her but he doesn’t
He and Alberto still say they sleep under the anchovies. No matter how often he researches stars, he’ll always call them anchovies around him.
Sticks out his tongue when focused
Doesn’t like aquariums, he stares at those fish and he just feels trapped
Loves to dance in the rain
Does that little feet tappy dance thing when he’s excited or shakes his hands
Honestly half of his vocabulary is stern shouts of “Alberto!” “Giulia!” or “silenzio Bruno, silenzio Bruno! Silenzio Bruno!”
Speaking of, he can’t just say “Silenzio Bruno” once, it’s always him saying it more than once, especially when he’s really scared
He doesn’t have loud, aggressive sneezes, but he does have sneeze fits. Once he sneezed so many times that with every one his face got closer to his desk until it just went BAM and he has a massive bruise on his forehead for days.
Sometimes just goes into the water and swims to relax. If he’s feeling homesick, he’ll do some daring trick and then instinctively turn to smile at Alberto only to realize he isn’t there
His dad still keeps crabs but lets Luca name them. Luca chooses to name them all after space things. Mainly moons, but sometimes planets or galaxies
Secretly feels really guilty about Alberto selling their Vespa
After almost being sent to The Deep, he is terrified of the dark and can’t sleep without a light on, no matter how dim it is
Alberto:
Matching pajamas with both Massimo and Giulia! (Refuses to match with her, Massimo yelled at them)
Tries to see what triggers his transformation. Does watermelon? Does juice? Is it any liquid? He’ll find out!
Calls Giulia “Spewlia” just to piss her off
Those two are always arguing. Yes, he often starts it
Lots of tattoos and ear piercings!
Will into Giulia’s room, stare her dead in the eyes, call her a bitch, and run out while leaving the door open. She’ll scream at him and probably throw something.
Tends to shorten people’s names. He calls Luca “Lu,” “Lulu,” and even “Luke.” Luca does not like any of these names.
Still builds his Vespas! They’re not as fun without Luca, though
Takes Giulia with him sometimes too and purposely crashes into the sea or something just to see what she does.
Gains quite a bit of muscle
Is the one who takes down all the sea monster things with Massimo. He and Lorenzo carry Smuca to the fountain
Idk I feel like he has loud sneezes
I also feel like he makes that weird cough face like that one cat idk I just know I’m right
He doesn’t just sing... He scream sings
Doesn’t know how to dance but if there is music he will dance
Loves dancing in the rain too!
Sometimes he’ll just walk into Giulia’s room and gossip with her. They’ll make a blanket fort and grab some snacks and cats and just... Spend the night talking and catching up
She teaches him how to braid hair and now he just loves doing her hair
Bites his lip quite a bit. That’s canon but like, still worth mentioning
Learns how to ride a bike so he doesn’t get killed or something
Keeps a journal on things Luca and Giulia are interested in so he can learn about them. He writes down bullet points on what he remembers from conversations, but it’s honestly not much
He doesn’t have big dreams other than traveling the world with Luca. He knows Giulia wants to be a marine biologist and Luca wants to travel the world + is still figuring things out. He has short term goals other than that and changes the topic about it.
A popular headcanon is that Alberto takes care of the goatfish when Luca’s at school and I think that would happen!
He’s shockingly good with kids! When not working, he loves playing soccer with them by the fountain
He almost named Machiavelli’s mate “Frog” because he can’t name things
Half the time when Giulia and/or Luca talk about school, he goes “I don’t what that means, but I’m choosing to define it as ____” and won’t let them prove him wrong
Technically canon but he will bite. Chomp chomp.
When he meets Giulia’s mom, they love to paint together
He does make some friends in Portorosso, but none are as close to him as his sister and best friend!
This man is the most dramatic person good lord
Love language is definitely physical touch!
Still screams “Take me, gravity!” pretty often
Can’t do work alone without music. He doesn’t really like opera but he can’t stand silence, he just can’t
Sometimes he thinks of Luca’s betrayal and is really angry, but knows he’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed. It was about self preservation and the risk of living. He still gets upset about it sometimes, but completely forgives him and understands
Is always torn between giving Giulia genuine facts about sea creatures and giving her such absurd but lowkey believable lies. He wants her to succeed so badly but also wants to screw her over
If you give him anything, he will play with it. String? A toy. A pen? A toy. A literal rock you found on the side of the road? A gorgeous toy, thank you!
Never just goes into the water, he will always be dramatic and dive in or jump
Sometimes when not on duty, he just blows his lifeguard whistle because he thinks it’s cool
He loves yoyos!
Will noogie Giulia.
Sometimes gets scared that Massimo will abandon him, but it seems like Massimo always knows
Città Vuota is his favorite song!
Doodles all over everything, especially Giulia and Luca’s arms and legs. They range from little stars to tic tac toe games to fish to anything that comes to mind
Giulia:
Is very much into photography! Luca always does hearts with his hands/fingers while Alberto does stupid poses or flips her off... or both.
Hums and sings a lot!
Also loves to dance and is the best of the trio! Loves to twirl and vibe even if there’s no music! It’s just her personality
She doesn’t just hug, she jumps into their arms and holds them close
Sometimes just to annoy Alberto she’ll hug him and press kisses to his head and cheeks. Siblings gonna be annoying.
Always has so much energy but really struggles with sitting still for homework after such long hours in school that her grades aren’t all that good except for Astronomy!
The most competitive of the trio
Bites her lip when she’s nervous
Started wearing her hat to match her dad when she was little and now she doesn’t like being without it
Has probably fallen asleep in class
Loves watermelon and gelato
While Ciccio and Guido apologize for their actions, she doesn’t forgive them and doesn’t want to. She has every right to
Gets really into singing when she’s singing along to songs
Doesn’t like makeup for herself but will hold the boys captive to do their makeup
Loves puns! Will make sea puns to piss off Alberto and Luca, but Luca loves them so it half-works
Loves copying Alberto’s lipbite
Machiavelli her beloved <3
Loves her fam so much! She’s got pictures of them everywhere and is constantly buying them gifts
Speaking of! Her love language is giving gifts!
She’s actually pretty good at making friends since she can read people so well. It’s just that Portorosso doesn’t have any.... Great kids to befriend and Genova just has too many that she sticks to a small group which eventually fades, as groups do
She isn’t the most emotional but she also isn’t the least emotional. She doesn’t cry often but she does get sad and shows it
I don’t know why I feel this way but I definitely think she’s scared of the doctor
She used to be scared of thunderstorms until meeting her boys and the race happened. Now she associates rain and storms with that win
Summer is her favorite season
She knows everyone in Portorosso by name and knows most of their birthdays by heart
Speaking of, she always celebrates Alberto’s birthday like her like her life depends on it
Now loves racing on her bike even more cause of the race
Calls Alberto “Berto” and is the only one allowed to do say
A very light sleeper
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More on the way probably they’re all I think about
#luca movie#Luca#pixar luca#luca pixar#luca paguro#alberto scorfano#giulia marcovaldo#massimo marcovaldo#giulia's mom#death tw#maybe? just in case
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TJ’s Playlist Chapter 17
Story Summary: When Cyrus finds a playlist on TJ’s desktop full of old love songs, he realizes that TJ has never been a scary basketball guy but rather a huge sap. TJ just wished Cyrus could realize that all of those songs remind him of a certain boy who likes chocolate chocolate chip muffins without telling him directly.
With insecurities and fears almost set in stone, it’s hard for TJ to admit that he has a heart aching crush on Cyrus who is trying to avoid just that. Of course, it doesn’t seem like both of them are trying to get over each other when they’re always together.
Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter | Also up on Ao3 + Wattpad
Words: 4,347
TJ looked over at Cyrus who could only give him a nod. TJ cracked a small smile, “That’s funny.”
Cyrus furrowed his brows, “What?”
“I mean,” TJ said as he casually flipped the page, “I always had the feeling there was something about Jonah that made you uncomfortable, and I guess I was right.”
“So, you were able to tell?”
“Before looking at the journal, no,” TJ shook his head.
“I mean, I promised once that I would tell you, but I guess you figured it out,” Cyrus said, looking down at his hands. “This doesn’t bother you, does it?”
“Of course not,” TJ said, wrapping an arm around him, pulling him in to kiss his temple. “You know why?”
“Why?” Cyrus turned his head to place his forehead against TJ’s cheek.
“Because Jonah is never going to get a polaroid with you like this,” TJ said, pointing down at an open page. It was the picture where TJ and Cyrus were kissing on the lips, their eyes closed shut, already damaged from the flash of the previous photos. “Also,” TJ laughed, “it’d be silly of me to get mad weird about something from the past. I know you like me. You’re whipped.”
“Hey,” Cyrus pulled away, glaring at TJ for his joke as he started laughed. “You’re also whipped. You’ve been whipped since you put together that playlist for me.”
When an irresistible force
Such as you
Meets an old immovable object like me
You can bet as sure as you live
Something gotta give
“I shouldn’t have told you it was for you,” TJ snickered, pulling Cyrus back in to kiss him. “I should go home soon before your mom runs in here and chases me out.”
“She’d kick me out before you, honestly,” Cyrus smiled.
“I still don’t know how my parents are going to react,” TJ frowned, closing the journal and putting it to the side.
Cyrus reached out to hold TJ’s hand, “Let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll be there, okay?”
“Oof,” TJ bit hit lips, “we still have to tell your dad and stepmom, too.”
“I’m starting to think I can tell them by myself. I’m actually going to my dad’s tomorrow, so I’m trying to get through this with the adrenaline I got from today. You can just meet my dad on a family game night”
“My family doesn’t have those,” TJ laughed. “Our usual bonding happens after one of us points out that we each haven’t seen Macaroni in a week, and we start to think he’s dead. I pretend to go look for him with them around the block, but I’m always in my room listening to music.”
“Why do you hate Macaroni?” Cyrus smiled, shaking his head.
“He’s suspicious. I don’t trust him,” TJ told him before pressing a kiss on Cyrus’ hand. “Anyways, if you change your mind about telling your dad by yourself, let me know, okay?”
“Got it. You’re the best.”
“Well, you bring out the best in me.”
When an irrepressible smile
Such as yours
Warms an old implacable heart
Such as mine
Don't say no
Because I insist
Somewhere, somehow, someone's gonna be kissed
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TJ entered his home, looking around at the noir decoration and smiling. His parents were really goth kids at heart who somehow birthed an athlete. They still all painted their nails black for a family Christmas card that one year, though. He remembered his Nana being absolutely pissed. She was the reason every copy of it got burned.
He walked up the stairs, realizing there was nobody on the first floor. His parents were out on a date night, but he assumed Amber was in her room. He knocked on her door and didn’t get an answer. He poked at the sign Andi gave her and smiled before walking down the hall to his room. When he opened the door, he jumped a little at the sight of Amber laying down on his bed with Macaroni on her stomach.
“He’s getting fat,” TJ commented as he shut the door behind him. Macaroni was a skinny things just a few weeks ago
Amber didn’t bother turning to look at him, simply telling him, “He just chunky boy right now, leave him alone. You’re going to hurt his feelings.”
“He doesn’t have any,” TJ looked over at the cat who had his eyes shut as Amber stroked his head. “That’s how eats everything and anything he finds. Like the dead bird that was on the front lawn. I swear, I waited for me to get home just to eat it in front of me. He’s gross.”
“You loved him at one point,” Amber reminded him.
“Whatever,” TJ said before walking over to his desk chair. He turned on his computer and started looking for music. “We told his parents.”
“I’m happy for you, Teej,” Amber smiled at the ceiling, not meeting TJ’s eye. TJ found it weird but didn’t mention it. “Finally, after forever.”
“Hey,” TJ defended himself, “I thought they were going to hate me and keep me away from Cyrus. I still don’t know how mom and dad are going to react, though.”
“I don’t know either,” Amber whispered.
“Gee,” TJ rolled his eyes, “thanks for the positive reinforcement.”
“TJ,” Amber sat up, picking up Macaroni and cradling him in his arms. “I like Andi.”
“Oh,” TJ’s mouth fell open, trying to scatter through his memories to remember what he came out to her. All he could say was, “That’s gay.”
“Don’t say anything else. It’ll probably be dumber,” she told him, a small smile creeping onto her lips before fading out.
“Yeah, probably,” TJ sat back, his chair turned to her. He was staring at her, her sad eyes looking at the carpeting of his room. “What are you going to do?”
“Nothing,” Amber shrugged, Macaroni purring as she continued to pet him behind the ears. “She’s with Jonah. She’s straight, TJ.”
“I thought Cyrus was straight,” TJ reminded her. “He’s dated a girl before. Maybe Andi is the same.”
“Not everybody is gay, TJ,” Amber said for the second time.
“Not with that negativity,” TJ stuck his tongue out at her. Amber rolled her eyes and put Macaroni to the side, only to have him climb back onto her lap. “He loves you.” Amber tried putting him to the side again, but he simply crawled back to where he was.
“He knows I need cheering up,” Amber smiled, starting to stroke the cat again. “See, he’s not so bad. You just don’t like him because he cuddles with Cyrus.”
“Maybe so,” TJ scoffed. TJ studied his sister’s face, her frown in the spotlight, “Honestly, Amber. Please don’t get sad about Andi. She’s your friend.”
“I’m going to tell her, and I’m going to lose her friendship,” Amber told him determinedly.
“What?” TJ raised a brow. “No. You’re not going to do that. I mean, you can tell her, but you can’t lose her. You won’t lose her.”
“I will. She’s going to straight up hate me. Punch me in the nose. Run away. Never make me another bracelet.”
“How many bracelets has she made for you?” TJ asked.
Amber held up her wrist, “19.”
“Oh wow,” TJ said. “That’s gay.”
“She’s straight, TJ,” Amber sighed.
“Then just come out to her,” TJ suggested.
“You and Cyrus aren’t even out to her,” Amber reminded him.
“Okay, but like,” TJ licked his lips, trying to find an explanation, “she’s not my main or anything.”
“Have you told Reed or Lester or anyone on the basketball team?”
“I haven’t talked to them in a while, actually,” TJ looked up to his ceiling, a picture of his infamous friends in the corner. “I don’t want them near Cyrus.”
“That makes you a good boyfriend, honestly,” Amber smiled. “I wish you would’ve been a good brother and kept them away from you.”
“Invalid,” TJ pointed his finger, “I didn’t know they would do that.”
“I had to cut 10 inches off my hair, TJ. 10! That’s a lot,” Amber yelled
“It’s hair, it grows back,” TJ rolled his eyes.
“Okay, then. Shave your hair off.”
“No,” TJ reached up to run his fingers through his hair, “I just got a boyfriend.”
“Isn’t it your one month tomorrow?” Amber asked him.
“Yes, it is,” TJ cocked a smile. “We’re going to see a movie tomorrow.”
“That’s cute,” Amber smiled, looking down at the cat on her lap who was purring nonstop. “Do you think he knows he’s going to die soon?”
TJ coughed, “What?”
“He’s getting old, TJ,” Amber reminded him, picking up the cat to smother him with her face. Macaroni started licking her nose.
“So? He probably has a couple of years left,” TJ crossed his arms, his smile completely gone.
“Maybe,” Amber shrugged as she moved Macaroni back down.
“You’re just saying this to make me feel something about Macaroni,” TJ accused her.
Amber smirked, “Maybe.”
“You’re still evil,” TJ rolled his eyes, “and here I thought that Andi had changed you.”
“We’re still Amber and TJ, children of Viktor Kippen.”
“The man who cries when he hears a g note on the piano?” TJ snickered.
“My Chemical Romance means a lot to him. Your middle name was almost Gerard, but mom didn’t like how it looked with a J, and she was stuck on the nickname TJ. Actually, does Cyrus even know what TJ stands for?” TJ bit down on his lips, his eyes pretending to wander around the room. “TJ!” Amber laughed. “Why not?”
“It hasn’t come up,” TJ shrugged, a smile on his lips. “Also, sometimes I forget how to spell it. I’ll tell him when we get married.”
“You’re wild,” Amber rolled her eyes. She pulled out her phone from her back pocket and smiled, TJ already recognizing the look she got on her face.
“Andi?” TJ asked, raising his eyebrows at her.
“Yeah,” Amber smiled, typing something quickly with one hand. “By the way, we should come out to mom and dad.”
“What?” TJ quickly sat back, his swivel chair completely leaning back and startling him. He quickly regained his composure and sat at the end of his chair, looking directly at his sister like she was telling him she going to cook Macaroni for dinner. “Amber, you’re the wild one,” TJ spit out.
“It’ll be easier. You can still invite Cyrus,” Amber told him, not looking away from her phone.
“Amber, no,” TJ shook his head, his grip on the arms of his swivel chair.
“I’m going to do it soon,” Amber told him. “You don’t have to do it with me, obviously. You can do it when you’re ready. I’m ready.”
“So soon?” TJ scrunched his face up, a nauseated look starting to come up just like the dinner at Cyrus’.
“We’re two different people, Teej. I need to know now if they’re going to kick me out on the streets or if I can keep looking for colleges.”
“They won’t do that to you,” TJ bit his lip. He didn’t know, actually. Part of him wanted Amber to tell them before he did, so he could see if it was safe for him to go on and tell them. The other part of him, was still the little boy that wanted to do everything with his older sister, no matter how much it scared him.
“At the end of the day, TJ,” Amber told him, giving him a weak smile, “I just want you to be safe and feel secure, okay?”
“I want the same for you, too,” TJ found himself whispering.
“What?”
TJ repeated himself for clearly the second time, “I want the same for you. Let’s tell them together, Ambs. I swear I won’t chicken out. Anything they tell you, they’re going to have to tell me, too.” Amber gave him a huge smile, her eyes brimming with tears.
“I love you,” Amber mouthed a thim, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
“I love you, too,” TJ smiled before peering into Macaroni’s open eyes. “You’re okay sometimes, Mac.” Macaroni let out a hiss in TJ’s direction before rubbing his head back into Amber’s hand.
The three hung out in TJ’s room for a little while longer, TJ going through music and Amber sending snapchats of Macaroni to Andi. Then the door downstairs shut close. TJ and Amber quickly looked at each other with wide eyes when they heard the familiar, “We’re home!” from Pearl down stairs.
“Shit, right now?” TJ asked her, quickly turning off his desktop.
“Oh, shit,” Amber stood up, putting Macaroni on the ground, “I thought we would have like three hours to plan it out.”
“Wait, so in three hours?” TJ asked her, also standing up, not knowing what to do.
“No, you already said right now,” Amber stuck out her tongue at him. She pressed her hand over her heart, “My heart is either pumping adrenaline or too much blood that I might get a blood clot, so let’s go do this before I change my mind.” Amber looked at TJ who seemed to be getting paler by the second, “Let’s go before you change your mind.”
TJ cleared his throat, “Right.” Amber and TJ marched out of the bedroom, Macaroni trailing behind them curiously as they walked down the stairs, passing their family photos hung in black frames, all the way to the kitchen entrance.
“Mom, dad,” Amber announced as the stepped in, Viktor setting up boiling water for the cup noodle he had in his hand and Pearl going through their snack pantry.
“Offspring,” Viktor gave them a peace sign as Amber went to take a seat at the kitchen table, TJ not being able to move once he was two feet into the kitchen.
“Don’t be weird, Viktor,” Pearl told him, pulling out a box of Poptarts and a bottle of mustard.
“You’re the weirdo. You put mustard on your Poptarts,” Viktor stuck out his tongue at his wife, who blew a kiss back, TJ clutching his hands to the side, watching Amber sit casually in their chair as if nothing was going to change in the next five minutes, and TJ really was overwhelmed now, the motion of standing still becoming too much.
"I'm gay!" TJ screamed.
"What?" Pearl blinked her eyes quickly, turning to look at TJ.
"Yeah, me too," Amber said monotonously in the background; the cup noodle Viktor was holding hit the ground, Macaroni immediately going after it.
"What?!" Pearl and Viktor said in unison quickly turning to their oldest kid.
"Cyrus is my boyfriend," TJ found himself saying, wanting to get it over with. Viktor and Pearl were looking between their kids and the between each other, Viktor not knowing what to do with the fact that Macaroni was chewing through the foam cup.
"I know I've dated boys, but I don't really think I like them at all," Amber admitted, the sound of Macaroni crunching on the hard noodles through the plastic starting to fill the room
"Okay, okay," Viktor waved one hand around furiously, the other one scooping up Macaroni, "let's focus. Amber," he pointed at her, "you're a lesbian." Amber gave him a peace sign. Viktor then turned to TJ, "You're gay and your friend Cyrus has actually been your boyfriend this entire time."
“Yes,” TJ nodded, biting down on his lips after speaking.
"Okay, wow," Viktor sighed, leaning against the counter. Macaroni started licking his face. "This is fine. I'm glad you kids told us."
"Yeah," Pearl went over to Amber to warp her arms around her and plant a kiss on the top of her head, "thank you for telling us."
That’s it?
"You're not… upset because I'm gay?" TJ asked, watching his dad place Macaroni on the counter. He bent down to pick up the remnants of the cup noodles. It was a mistake, though. Macaroni immediately walked over to the box of Pop Tarts, sticking his head inside, and biting into one through the wrapping. TJ didn’t even know why he was paying attention to the stupid cat when he was in an important conversation. Everything was moving so slow now, TJ thought as Viktor dropped the noodles again and went to go pull Macaroni away from the box. Viktor stuck his fingers in Macaroni’s mouth to get out the wrapping, Macaroni’s fat body unable to get away from his grip. TJ wanted to laugh at them, but he forced himself to look away and turned to his mom.
"Honey," his mom frowned, still holding tight onto Amber. "We have bigger problems than matching your prom tie to another prom tie instead of a dress. Actually, that’s a lot easier. We’ll get two of the same ties. Unless you want to wear the dress then-"
"Do you think he can fit into your prom dress if he tried?" his dad eagerly interrupted, cradling an upset Macaroni in his arms. TJ smiled at the cat’s supposed frown on his face.
"Honey, please. Black isn't his color,” Pearl rolled her eyes, pulling up a chair next to Amber. She patted the table and said, “Sit, boys.”
“We’re men,” Viktor joked, bending down to put Macaroni down on the floor. Macaroni immediately went for the cup noodle that was still on the floor, bit into, and ran past TJ, out the kitchen with the noodles in his tiny jaw. With his hands on his hips, Viktor leaned back and yelled, “Fuck!” before chasing after the cat. Amber and TJ grinned as their dad disappeared into the living room as Pearl tried to hide her smile behind her hands clasped on her mouth.
“TJ,” Pearl said, a small laugh spilling out, “come sit with us.” TJ looked out the kitchen once more before sitting down at the table. “Okay, kids, I guess this is a perfect time to talk.”
“Shouldn’t we wait for dad?” Amber asked, her neck turning to see if he’d walk through soon. There were cuss words and TJ was almost sure he heard their coffee table being knocked over.
“He knows what I’m going to say. We’ve been talking about it,” Pearl smiled at them, her eyes instantly narrowing when she heard glass break. “Viktor!” she yelled.
“It was the cat!” Viktor shouted back. He walked back in a few seconds later with pieces of foam and hard noodle in his hands, dumping them in the trash before sitting down. Viktor sat at the table, folded his hands like he would in a business meeting, and announced in a fake deep voice to Pearl, “He broke the vase your mom gave us for Christmas but be easy on the poor fella who might need to get his stomach pumped.”
“You’re lying,” Pearl didn’t hesitate to tell him, Viktor immediately looking away from her. “I know when you’re lying Viktor Kippen. You knocked that vase over on purpose because you hated it.”
“I did not,” Viktor said, his voice a lot quieter now.
“I hated the vase, too. I don’t care,” Pearl smiled at him.
“Oh thank Gerard Way,” Viktor let out a sigh. “Are having the talk with the kids now, or?”
“No, we’re going to tell them we’re forcing them into a family heavy metal band with us.”
“Okay,” Viktor licked his lips, going back into business mode, “the band’s name will be-“
“Viktor,” Pearl laughed, a weird smile on her face. For some reason, seeing that smile caused Viktor to erupt into a fit of laughter that echoed through their house. TJ hadn’t seen his parents mess around like this since he was a lot younger. They had aged so much in a few months, and he felt like he was watching them go back into their old carefree selves before him.
“Who let us have kids, I swear,” Viktor tried to contain his laughter, failing time and time again. Amber was laughing along with him, her resemblance to the Kippen’s bursting through. Pearl and TJ sat there, looking at each other with their smiles plastered on there face, knowing that for the first time in a long time, they were all finally happy.
“Okay, okay,” Pearl patted the table, “let’s focus.” Viktor took a deep breath before sitting up straight. “Kids, we just wanted to remind you guys that we love you.”
“That’s it?” Amber raised a brow.
“Gee, Pearl, this one really is yours,” Viktor said, ruffling Amber’s hair and leaving most of it in her face. “No, I love you back.”
“You told me you loved me two minutes after meeting me,” Pearl reminded him.
“Amber has known us her whole life,” Viktor said, pretending to be sad, looking over Amber with dramatic sad eyes. TJ really couldn’t believe that goofball of a man worked in marketing and raised a hell of an athlete and a teenage girl. Hell was a teenage girl, anyways.
“I love you guys, too,” Amber rolled her eyes as she fix her hair, a smile in the corner of her lips. The three of them turned to look at TJ who simply shook his head.
“I love you, too,” TJ smiled.
-
Cyrus and TJ met up at the Kippen’s to go watch the movie Saturday morning. TJ literally called Cyrus the second he got into his bedroom after the whole fiasco in the kitchen and told him almost every little detail, simply leaving out the parts about Amber. The conversation ended with TJ yelling at Macaroni for throwing up on his floor and a family trip to the vet.
Cyrus knocked on the door, wishing on every single star in the sky that TJ’s parents wouldn’t answer. He was happy they were out to two thirds of the parents, but he felt like he still had to deal with the initial awkwardness, and he was already trying to figure out how to make himself invisible.
“Cyrus!” Viktor joyfully answered. He was wearing an old band t-shirt and Spongebob pajama pants, a mug of coffee in one hand. “Come in. TJ is almost done getting ready,” Viktor held the door open for Cyrus to walk in through. “Go ahead and take a seat. I’ll call him,” Viktor motioned to the couch with a tilt of his head. “TJ! Your boyfriend is here!” he yelled before casually walking into the kitchen. Cyrus watched Viktor go away before going to sit down and checking his phone.
That’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.
Viktor walked back out with Pearl who had Macaroni under her arm like the morning newspaper. Cyrus sat up a little straighter as he watched them sit on the couch diagonal from him. He didn’t dare look away from his phone, feeling like he was going to accidentally make eye contact with them.
“Mom, dad,” TJ said in a complain-like tone, “why can’t you guys be cool for the five seconds Cyrus is in this house.”
“We are being cool,” Viktor defended them, holding Macaroni up like a trophy. Macaroni looked absolutely miserable, and TJ almost felt bad for him.
“If you were cool, you would’ve stayed in the kitchen,” TJ shook his head before looking over at Cyrus, a smile instantly framing his face. “Hey, Cyrus.”
“Hey, TJ,” Cyrus said, quickly standing up. “Ready to go?”
“Oh gosh, Viktor, did you see how his face lit up,” Pearl whispered loudly.
“Mom,” TJ took a deep breath before walking up to Cyrus.
“Sorry,” Pearl bit her lip, containing back a smile.
“We’ll be back soon,” TJ said, pulling Cyrus out the door by the hand.
“Take care of him, Cy,” Viktor yelled out before TJ shut the door.
“I’m so sorry they’re my parents,” TJ told him, immediately wrapping an arm around Cyrus’ shoulders.
“I don’t mind. I’m really glad they’re fine with everything,” Cyrus told him.
“You can say they freaked you out. I don’t care.”
Cyrus turned to look up at him and gave him a nervous grin, “Maybe a little.”
TJ took the chance to give Cyrus a quick peck on the lips before saying, “Sorry about that. They’ve been acting like kids again. Just, fun kids. Not annoying, bratty, selfish kids.”
“I’m really happy for you, honestly,” Cyrus told him.
“I’m happy, too,” TJ smiled, pressing the side of his head down Cyrus’ temple, “thank you for this one month.”
So on guard
Who knows what the faiths have in store
From there fast mysterious sky
I'll try hard ignoring those lips I adore
But how long can anyone try
-
Cyrus was late for math, and if he was late for math, TJ was going to wonder where he was, and then TJ would call him in the middle of class, getting his phone confiscated and sent to the office where only Pearl or Viktor could pick it up which meant TJ and him might lose their Snapchat streak. He was busting a mission from the principal’s office where Dr. Metcalf has asked him some questions about a journalism club all the way to his math class across school. He had a pass, but still.
He quickly stopped by his locker to switch something out, and he noticed the mob of boys walking his way. He ignored it and tried shoving his school supplied into his locker as quickly ass possible without anything spilling out. The boys were getting closer, and he could’ve sworn one of them said, “That’s him. His name is Cyrus.”
He refused to look, and he quickly zipped his backpack back up and swung it back on. But when he shut his locker and turned around, he was surrounded by a wall of boys. Tall boys. Basketball boys. Scary basketball guys. Eight of them.
“You Cyrus?”
“Yes?” Cyrus tried to stand tall. It was kind of impossible.
“You TJ’s boy?”
Fight, fight, fight, fight
Fight it with all of our might
Chances are some heavenly star spangled night
You'll find out
As sure as we live
Something's really got to give
Tbh this is my favorite chapter. I love the Kippen’s if you can’t tell. ALSO I DIDNT EDIT AND IM HALF DEAD RN SO IF SOMETHING DOESNT MAKE SENSE IM SORRY
Tag List: @the-greatt-perhaps@thedampjofangirl@evaloveschristmas@musicalsfuckmeup@tyrushgoodman @cxrus-kippen@aestheticfairytaleprincess @cheesystars@tyronius-jackson-kippen @lihyry@rbf-lesbian@idk-i-stan-things@tyrusmuffins @tyrus4eva @idk-dude-17 @blueberry-my-hero-macadamia@swingsetboys@bingewatchingenthusiast�� @bluemuffinboy @tyrusgoingfast @baby-its-gayy-outside @rockwtyler @bredisticks @allylovestyrus
Sorry if I missed you! Let me know if you want to be removed or added :)
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Book Box Club: December ‘Magic By Night’ Box
Okay, so if you don’t know what a book subscription box then;
Where have you been?
Check out my blog post about them HERE.
Okay let me just start off by saying that I feel extremely let down by this box and feel as though I have been deceived. The theme for the December box was ‘Magic By Night’. A direct quote from the theme announcement states “As soon as I heard about the premise I was excited and it didn’t take many sittings of reading my ARC copy to know that we just HAD to have this book for Book Box Club. Kate was equally enthralled and called me to chat about it after she had finished the first chapter. It’s a tricky read to shoehorn into a particular genre, it has everything; romance, teenage angst, small-town prejudice and magical creatures. The writing is seriously beautiful and some nights I would read it before I went to sleep and wake up wondering if I had really read those magical scenes or actually dreamt them instead! If any of you are fans of Maggie Stiefvater and the vivid descriptions in Erin Morgenstern’s The Night Circus then this will be right up your street!” furthermore in their newsletter titled ‘An Exciting Reveal About Our Magic By Night Box’ they state that “This month, as a special treat, recipients of our Magic by Night box will receive TWO BOOKS: our featured book for this month, plus an advanced reading copy of a book due out in early 2017.” Now as someone who is a control freak and picky reader I usually try and guess the book included in a box BEFORE I order it. Based on what I read and what I’m showing you I made the logical conclusion that the book included would likely be Caraval by Stephanie Garber as it’s been promoted as a YA version of The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and it’s being released at the end of January. All the promotion and reveals for this box, in my opinion, point clearly to the feature book being Caraval. I was wrong and because of that I feel extremely let down. Anyway, let’s get into the unboxing/review. Sorry if I sound bitter throughout but when things don’t go my way (or the way I expect them too) I get grouchy…
Okay, so let’s start out by saying that I can’t show you the box because it has my address right on top, but the box experienced some denting and damage in transit. I know from the theme reveal video that this artwork was hand painted then photographed (at least I assume so) so I can’t criticize it too much other than the colours don’t fit with the feature book. The actual information side of the introduction card is clear, easy to read and precise it also includes the full links to stores not just the social media handle or shop name – which is something very good in my opinion.
I also received this little Christmas card in the box, so that was cool.
The first product included is this cute star charm wish bracelet. It has a quote by Sarah J. Maas (‘You Could Rattle The Stars) on the packaging and on the back it says “Close your eyes, make a wish, tie your bracelet on your wrist, when the cord breaks in two your wish will then come true!” I think this bracelet is super cute and I’ll be putting it on once I’ve completed this post. It’s by The Woodland Folk on Etsy.
Next up we have this unicorn iron on patch. This is a nice design but I don’t really have a use for it. It’s by Rosie Wonders.
Then we have this adorable pencil which says ‘I believe in unicorns’. It’s made by the curator of this box and I absolutely adore it!
This magical notebooks by Fable and Black features a J.K Rowling quote on it. It’s not lined inside and is a decent size.
And this month’s feature book is….
Bone Gap by Laura Ruby. This is a YA Magical Realism Romance.
Everyone knows Bone Gap is full of gaps—gaps to trip you up, gaps to slide through so you can disappear forever. So when young, beautiful Roza went missing, the people of Bone Gap weren’t surprised. After all, it wasn’t the first time that someone had slipped away and left Finn and Sean O’Sullivan on their own. Just a few years before, their mother had high-tailed it to Oregon for a brand new guy, a brand new life. That’s just how things go, the people said. Who are you going to blame?
Finn knows that’s not what happened with Roza. He knows she was kidnapped, ripped from the cornfields by a dangerous man whose face he cannot remember. But the searches turned up nothing, and no one believes him anymore. Not even Sean, who has more reason to find Roza than anyone, and every reason to blame Finn for letting her go.
As we follow the stories of Finn, Roza, and the people of Bone Gap—their melancholy pasts, their terrifying presents, their uncertain futures—acclaimed author Laura Ruby weaves a heartbreaking tale of love and loss, magic and mystery, regret and forgiveness—a story about how the face the world sees is never the sum of who we are.
I had never heard of this book and that’s probably because it isn’t the type of book I would pick up. It was released in 2015 – so it’s odviously not our ARC copy. I expected Caravel to be this book and as I’ve said I am extremely disappointed. This book also came with a signed book plate which I haven’t used and won’t since I plan on selling this book.
The box also included an interview card with the author of the feature book. I like this idea but I never end up reading them, which is silly of me.
We also received some book promotion stuff, first up we have this promotion card for Frogkisser by Garth Nix. I’m glad this was included as I hadn’t heard about this book and it sounds like something I might enjoy.
Then we have this two sided teaser booklet for Unconventional by Maggie Harcourt and Broken Sky by L.A. Weatherly.
And the second book is….
The Memory Book by Lara Avery. This is supposedly the ARC, however this book was released in the US back in July of 2016 and I’ve seen it in Australian stores (we get the UK covers) since before Christmas. So it most certainly is not an ARC of a book being released in early 2017. I’ve been meaning to pick this one up however it seems extremely gut wrenching so I probably won’t pick it up til I’m in a good place mentally so I’m not upset about it being included. However it doesn’t fit with the theme AT ALL.
They tell me that my memory will never be the same, that I’ll start forgetting things. At first just a little, and then a lot. So I’m writing to remember.
Sammie was always a girl with a plan: graduate at the top of her class and get out of her small town as soon as humanly possible. Nothing will stand in her way–not even a rare genetic disorder the doctors say will slowly start to steal her memories and then her health. What she needs is a new plan.
So the Memory Book is born: Sammie’s notes to her future self, a document of moments great and small. It’s where she’ll record every perfect detail of her first date with longtime crush, Stuart–a brilliant young writer who is home for the summer. And where she’ll admit how much she’s missed her childhood best friend, Cooper, and even take some of the blame for the fight that ended their friendship.
Through a mix of heartfelt journal entries, mementos, and guest posts from friends and family, readers will fall in love with Sammie, a brave and remarkable girl who learns to live and love life fully, even though it’s not the life she planned.
PRETTY PAGES!
Final Thoughts:
While I admire the quality of the products included I hate to say I won’t be ordering from this company again. Not only is the feature book not a new release (and while that would be fine if they advertised that that was the case they don’t/didn’t) but to me (and I haven’t read the book so I could be wrong) it doesn’t really fit the theme. If you’re including a magical realism book make the theme more obscure and less ‘magic’. Also the creators should be more aware of the books being released and how they should make the theme more specific to what they’re including. I was expecting more dark creepy circus and fairy like things instead I got unicorns and a contemporary novel? I just feel like there was a lot of false advertising and I am disappointed with the company. Obviously you are free to judge based on your own opinions of the products included but to me I’ve been ‘wronged’ by them and just have no interest in using this service again. (Which is probably a good thing since I have so many other boxes I want to try and buy..) I really do love the bracelet and pencil though!
You can order your Book Box Club box HERE for £27.99 (not including shipping). If you want to check out past boxes you can click HERE and HERE.
My Links:
Goodreads : Becca Winter
Instagram : becca_theory
Twitter : @Becca_Theory
Facebook : The Troubles And Woes Of A Bookworm
Becca
xxx
The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone. This post is not sponsored I paid for the box myself.
Book Subscription Box Review: Book Box Club Book Box Club: December 'Magic By Night' Box Okay, so if you don't know what a book subscription box then;
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