#I don’t think she did think of herslef as a girl. not anything much at all

[oliveish]

Yknow that one tweet that’s like “I’m probably nb but I have a job” or whatever I think that’s me except like. It’s just not something that exists to me. I don’t think of myself in anyway at all and I don’t want to. If I start to it feels genuinely suffocating.

So idk what id call me haha

[wandas-sunshine]

A Soldier’s Spring - Chapter 2

Summary: She was one of Hydra’s secret weapons; a female winter soldier. And Bucky can’t let her go through what he did alone. Everything is coming back to her, and he’s the only one that can help her become human again.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst, short torture scene at the end

Word Count: 3342

Flashbacks are in italics

Previously on A Soldier’s Spring | Series Masterlist

Her head was spinning. She couldn’t stay in this town. It would be too obvious and she knew that they’d find her by the time the sun came up. She weaved her way through the city, leaving a wide perimeter around the rendezvous point. Her handling team would all be waiting there for her to return just like a perfectly trained puppy.

That’s just what she was, wasn’t it. Their perfect little guard dog. Some animal that they could order around and leave chained up when they were finished with her. One step out of line and she was punished. But not anymore. She wasn’t satisfied with being on a leash. She had a mind of her own. Didn’t she?

She sped her way around the town, past signs and storefronts, until she was even a little bit convinced that she’d put enough space between her and the Hydra agents who had brought her out to play. It had taken nearly an hour for her to be comfortable. She had found a small, quiet town. That didn’t seem to calm the uneasy feeling that was settling in her gut. Even if her instincts told her that this was her safest bet, she knew that quiet towns were good at spotting anything out of the ordinary.

It was well into the night, nearly midnight she figured. That left about 3 hours until her handlers would be looking for her. She hurried, eyeing rundown houses and family run businesses until she found one she could bother with. There were no cars in the drive, and no lights inside the house. It held a sizable shed. No visible security or particularly sturdy locks.

She quietly snapped the lock off the shed and guided her bike inside. There were a few tarps folded neatly on a shelf. She tugged one down, covering her bike in the front corner and tucking herslef behind it. The corner was cramped between the motorcycle and the other clutter that likely hadn’t been touched in ages. But it felt safe enough for her to quickly drift off to sleep. She was exhausted. Something she couldn’t remember really feeling in ages.

Bucky had returned to his home, relaxing on his bed with his journal. It was late enough in the day since Shuri had insisted on keeping him for breakfast. The sun was high in the sky, and he hadn’t gotten any more sleep in the lab, but he was much calmer now. Shuri had advised yoga or meditation. He went for a walk instead.

When the phone on his stand rang, he knew it could only be one person. Shuri had given him and Steve each specialized phones. She said they would be more secure than any that they could buy, and Bucky was learning to trust whatever the girl said. She truly had become a savior for him lately. It was hard to believe she was only 16.

“Hey, punk.” He greeted. Every time he picked up, he worried that it would be the police or some special agents that had finally managed to hunt Steve down. Or Sam calling to tell him that a mission had gone sideways. But his concern always eased at the sound of Steve on the other end.

“Hey, Buck. Thought I’d call and check in. Haven’t called in a few days.” Steve said cheerily. As hypocritical as it was, and really he did know it was, Bucky hated the way Steve was always fussing about him. Mostly he hated knowing exactly what he was worried about. It wasn’t some outside threat. Wakanda was the most secure place he could be. No, he was worried that Bucky would snap again, or that he wasn’t safe enough to be on his own. But he couldn’t be angry about it. He understood, even if it stung to have his scrawny best friend worrying about him and not the other way around. Truthfully, Bucky worried every day that he wasn’t safe enough to be alone with himself.

“Don’t go worrying about me. Shuri’s keeping a close eye on me. She has me keeping some journal.” He laughed and looked at the leather book sitting open in front of him. He’d only managed a few words this time around. His brain simply wouldn’t give anything up. “She says it’ll be good for me. Help work through the memories.”

Steve gave a short hum in response. He knew Bucky too well to think he believed it was doing any good. But he figured it would be a good enough start until he decided to open up and trust someone.

“How’s the arm coming?” Steve questioned hesitantly. The arm was a little bit of a touchy subject. It had been Bucky’s idea to remove the one Hydra had fitted him with. He insisted it was for safety purposes. Just in case anything went wrong, he’d said. Everyone else knew it was more than that. But Shuri had insisted on making him a new and improved prosthetic. She confided in Steve, told him she hoped connecting it to recovery instead of all the bad the other one had done might help him come to terms with it being a part of him and not Hydra.

“I don’t need it. I’m really getting the hang of this whole one arm thing.” Bucky hoped that he didn’t sound as disgusted as he felt. “How are you? Wherever you are. How’s the lead coming along?” If Steve recognized his blatant attempt at changing the subject,he didn’t say anything about it.

“It’s alright. Sam’s out here going crazy. Driving me crazy. I’m worried if we don’t finish up here soon, Nat’s gonna kill him.” Steve gave a fond laugh, and Bucky did too. “The lead didn’t give us much. But we may have found something.”

“Something like what?” He didn’t quite like the way Steve said that.

It was early when (Y/N) started awake. She whipped her head around in a frenzy until she registered her surroundings. Then she was paralyzed by the panic setting in. Unadulterated terror. She’d run away, she’d ruined whatever plans Hydra had for their next step. When they found her, they would have her head. Maybe literally. And that very well could be the best case scenario for her.

The door was busted open with a loud crack. Dim morning light streamed into the darkness that she’d come to find solace in. She scrambled as far into the shadows as she could, pressing her body tight against the wall. Her hand wrapped around the grip of her gun. With any luck, she’d go unnoticed and she could get a move on before her captors managed to catch her scent again.

But this was most definitely not her lucky day.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” A burly agent sing-songed as he ventured into her space. The words made her skin prickle. He stepped over discarded items littering the floor, shoving others out of his way without a care for any damage he did.

“We know you’re in there, принцесса,” Another voice called from outside the door. This comment sent a wave of nausea through her. That name was the last straw. She was not their princess.

“Do you know anything about…” Steve hesitated as he read over the note Natasha had made under the Russian written in the file. “About a Кровавая принцесса?”

“Bloodred princess.” Bucky repeated back in English. “Where did you get that? The name.”

(Y/N) pressed herself lower to the ground. She could fight her way out of this if she could just get out into the open. Her brain felt too cluttered, but her body knew exactly what to do. She slipped silently towards the agent, pressed low into an army crawl. She stayed as far into shadow as she could. She wasn’t a big fan of being underfoot.

Taking him down was nearly too easy. One dash towards him and a well aimed swipe of his legs and he toppled to the ground, his head bashing against a plastic storage container on the way down. She weaved her limbs around him, her thighs pinning his arms to his sides and her arms wrapping tight around his neck to choke him. He fought as well as he could, but she was easily draining the fight from him. He wasn’t a match to her enhanced strength.

“There’s a ton of files and reports. People talk about an assassin, they call her the bloodred princess.” Steve explained. He could practically hear Bucky tensing. “There were some heavily protected files. Nat’s working on getting in, seeing what else their hiding about her.”

“She’s like me. Another Winter Soldier.” Bucky said finally. “She’s strong. Maybe stronger than I was.”

Once she was convinced he was unconscious, she eyed the contents of the shed desperately. Bungee cords. She could work with that. By the time the agent groggily came to, he was securely tied up. She headed for the door, doing her best to keep out of the light until the last minute. Who was to say how many agents were waiting for her with their weapons trained on the door.

“She was so strong when they started on her. Had a lot of fight in her. By the time they were finished, she wasn’t using it against them anymore.” There was an edge of anger in Bucky’s voice as he continued on.

Her next moves were a blur, like she wasn’t really controlling herself; She was on autopilot. She fought off the first two agents easily. They were reluctant to shoot. The last thing they needed was their weapon of mass destruction laid up with bullet wounds. She knocked their guns from their hands, sending them skittering a good distance out of reach. The first made a quick move to grab her from the front. She aimed a punch at his jaw. It landed hard, surely knocking some teeth loose and sending him to the ground in agony. 

As she landed a swift kick to his diaphragm, the second agent wrapped his arms around her. Her arms were pinned and he had her lifted off the ground enough that she couldn’t manage any traction. She growled in frustration, wiggling a bit before tossing her head back hard and fast. She felt it connect with his face. A dull throb ran through her head but she brushed it off entirely. The agent groaned, his grip slipping enough to let her drop to the ground and knock his feet from under him.

The third agent was moving towards her now, seeming to come out of his hesitant stupor. He wasn’t too good at hiding his fear of her. He was new, she was sure of it. The grounded agent reached for her legs and she simply kicked at his ribs hard enough to break them like twigs.

“Stay.” She warned darkly.

“Stand down, soldat.” The final handler commanded. (Y/N) scowled. She never wanted to hear that word again.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.” She carefully scooted around the agents still on the ground until she was safely out of reach. “I just wanna go. Please don’t make me hurt you. I just wanna go.” She pleaded.

“You knew her.” Steve commented. It wasn’t quite a question, more of an observation. Bucky sighed and shifted a little bit.

“I trained with her. They would pit us against each other.”

The agent stepped closer, and (Y/N) took a couple frantic steps back. She was getting awfully close to being cornered and she wasn’t liking the feeling.

“You know I can’t let you go.” He reminded her. “Just come with me and we can get you back in the right headspace.”

“This is the right headspace, (Y/N).” The voice was back again. Strong and sure, something she didn’t feel nearly enough in the moment. She knew that voice. “Get out.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No. I will not go back there. You-you’ll punish me and take it all away again. Everything in my head. I won’t.” She was panicked now. She needed out. Then she caught it, the subtle shift of his finger onto the trigger of his gun. She ripped her gun from its holster and fired two shots.

The first embedded in his shoulder and knocked his gun to the ground. The second hit his stomach. A panicked look crossed his face as he stumbled back and clutched the wound. She was sure that her expression matched his. She was shaking. She didn’t want to hurt him. He was only a kid…

“I don’t know what they did with her. I don’t remember much else. She was only a kid.” Bucky confessed with a frustrated sigh. He wanted to be more helpful. To Steve, and to that girl who had her life stolen away from her.

“Thank’s Buck,”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry.” She ran towards him and snatched his gun from the ground. “I’m so sorry.” She repeated before turning and bolting. She needed to put some space between them and her.

She had lost track of just how far she’d run. She finally came to a stop after...she thought maybe an hour? She could feel the adrenalin wearing off as she slowed to a brisk walk. They weren’t going to give up that easily which meant she needed to get out of the open. But hey, a life on the run was better than a lifetime as a murderer, wasn’t it?

“You’ve come so far, my darling child.” The voice murmured, edging into her mind. It was softer now, warmer. It wasn’t pushing her or urging her to protect herself anymore. It was a sound of pure comfort. “Just keep going, dearest. You aren’t out of the woods yet.”

She took a deep breath and blew it out sharp and hard. She had a tendency to do that when she needed to focus. Or she had…it had been some time since she’d taken on her own quirks. It was as if she was melting into someone she didn’t know. She wasn’t acting like herself. Or like Hydra’s toy rather.

She needed someplace to hunker down and come up with a real plan. A few minutes walking and she found a seedy motel. To any normal traveler, the ramshackle building would’ve been repulsive. But (Y/N) wasn’t picky. She waltzed through the door with her head held high, power radiating off of her.

Behind the counter, a young man, maybe 19, was playing on his phone. He didn’t bother looking up until the runaway assassin cleared her throat. He flicked his eyes up, then did a quick double take and straightened his posture.

“I need a room.” She demanded. She was truly a sight to behold. There she stood in all black with her hair messy and loose. She’d lost her mask at some point during the past few hours, but her pretty face did nothing to offset the threat of the weapons she carried with such grace, or the blood that she had been stained with during the fight. She looked absolutely stunning, and even more deadly.

The kid nodded and scrambled for one of the room keys hanging up behind him. He tossed it towards her and she catched it easily with a half-hearted ‘thanks’. She didn’t have any money to pay for the stay, but she highly doubted the kid would dare try kicking her out.

The room was less than great, but it had a bed and a shower, and (Y/N) had slept in much worse conditions. She locked the door, starting to strip herself of her weapons. Knives, guns, ammo, even a couple grenades. Everything was splayed out in front of her, and the longer she looked at it, the worse she felt. How did this happen to her, when did she become a monster? Was she always a killer?

She sunk to her knees and gave in to the waves of fear. Sobs shook her body as she let herself curl up against the side of the bed. Her life was never going to be normal. She hiccupped out another sob and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. She’d always be running, always looking over her shoulder. She’d always be alone. Nobody would stay with her. If not because of the atrocities she’d committed then because nobody would risk the danger of loving a criminal. Hydra would never let her go.

“Listen, Buck,” Steve started. “I know it’s a lot to ask. But this might be our last chance to finish off Hydra once and for all.” Bucky knew exactly what Steve was trying to ask of him. He’d never tell him just how much he was dreading the question. Life was just beginning to settle for him. He had a home away from all the danger. He had a bed, and food. He had more than one person that he was learning how to trust. But he had never let Steve down before, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.

“If we can track down this girl, we’ll need you here. Will you come?” There was a long silence. Of course he’d come. But his worries were choking his throat. “You don’t have to say yes.” Steve added. It was enough to snap him out of his thoughts.

“If you can get me there, I’ll come.” He promised. And neither one of them knew if this would end the way they hoped, or much much worse.

She didn’t want this. She wanted to go home. She didn’t have any idea where she was or just how long she’d been there. They hadn’t let her sleep for more than a few moments. She was starving too, couldn’t even remember the last time she’d had something to drink. They dragged her out of the cell where they were holding her. Back towards the chair they’d strapped her to so many times that she’d lost count.

She screamed and squirmed, fighting to get away. But they were stronger than her to begin with, and she was just so weak. It hardly took any effort for the two men to strap her in again. She looked at them with wide eyes. They were bloodshot from the crying and tears welled in them once again.

“Please, no.” She sobbed weakly. “Please, I’ll do anything.”

“What is your name?” A man in a white lab coat questioned her. When she didn’t answer, a sharp smack stung against her cheek. She balled her hands into fists and clenched her jaw.

“(Y/N). My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Seemingly satisfied with her answer, the man gave a nod. The two metal pieces moved towards her head again and she found a new strength to fight. She couldn’t take it. Not again. Her desperate pleas were cut off by an agonized scream.

She screamed until her throat was raw. She couldn’t think straight with the pulses of electricity assaulting her brain. When they stopped she slowly pried her eyes open. Her mind couldn’t put thoughts together, couldn’t bring herself to fight properly, she just squirmed weakly. And then they were repeating those words again.

Парк...

Восемь...

What did they even mean?

Сгореть...

Семнадцать...

Was that...was that Russian?

Сломана...

Гавань...

She felt strange.

Открыть...

Отказ...

Like she couldn’t think. Couldn’t focus.

Отказ...

Делить…

The man in the white coat stepped closer and leaned in towards her face. Her eyes were glazed over, distant. He took this as a good sign. There was no emotion held in them.

“How are you feeling, soldat?” He asked. Her eyes slowly drifted until they landed on him. It appeared to be a struggle for her to focus.

“Where am I?” She asked in a near whisper, tugging at her restraints. This clearly pleased him, a wicked grin creeping onto his face.

“This is a start. Once more.” He ordered.

Next Episode

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[trashinaglass-archive]

Off Limits

Y/n’s daughter does not appreciate Spider-Man kissing her mommy.

Birthday Surprise Part 2

Request: Hello I’m the anon who sent in the spiderman party for the daughter request!! Thank you so much, I loved reading it, it was amazing 😭💕 You really did it justice!! ☺️ Do you think I could request maybe a somewhat follow up to it? Where maybe reader is caught by Lex kissing Tom while in his spiderman suit? 😂 Could go either she starts crying because she likes him or because she’s suppose to be with Tom, not spiderman lol whichever direction you wanna go is fine with me! Thank you so much 😊

A/n: I’m glad you liked it! I loved how it turned out. I hope this one turns out just as good.

I’m writing this as a situation where they’re still at the birthday party because the only other situation I could think of with her seeing him in costume would be of him on set and I don’t think that one would be as fun.

You smiled as you watched Tom with all of Alexis’s friends. He really was a natural with kids- you couldn’t wait for the day when you and Tom started having kids together.

He smiled at them before announcing that he had to leave, walking towards the exit but making his way over to you first. He ushered you around a corner, out of the children’s eyesight.

“Have fun?” You asked with a smile. You leaned back against the wall with your hands behind your back as he stood in front of you.

“Loads,” he answered, placing his hand on your hip, his thumb rubbing softly over the material of your romper.

“Thank you for doing this,” you told him. You reached out, taking his free hand in yours. “She loved it.”

“It was the best. I would do anything to see that smile- the happiness on her face. It’s unreal how much I love that kid,” Tom began to gush about Lex as he intertwined your fingers together.

“I’m glad. I was scared for the longest time that she wasn’t going to have a father figure in her life like she deserves, but I couldn’t be happier that you decided to be that. It means so much to me,” you told him. You knew now probably wasn’t the best time to discuss the topic, but you had to tell him.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, if I’m being honest. Like being Spider-Man is cool and all,” he said before taking a thoughtful pause. “But nothing will compared to being her dad. It’s amazing.” You smiled, overcome with happiness and love for the man in front of you. You placed a hand on the back of his head, pulling him to you.

You began to kiss him, your hands tangled in his hair as his wrapped around your waist. You brought your hand from his head around to his jaw, his hands gripping you tight. You continued to stand there, kissing each other, caught in the moment when you hear a small gasp. You broke from Tom, your face turning to see Alexis standing there with a shocked expression.

“No,” she said assertively. She moved to where Tom was standing, placing her hands on his thighs and pushing him away from you.

“What is happening?” He whispered to you, seeing your daughter’s actions.

“What are you doing, Lex?” You asked as you watched the strange but funny situation.

“You can’t kiss Mommy,” she told Tom. “Only my dad can kiss her.”

“I’m sorry, Alexis,” Tom said, going back to his American accent. He bend down to her level. “I just wanted to thank your mommy for letting me come meet you- I had a great time with you and all your friends. I wanted her to know how much fun I had.”

You watched as Alexis looked at Tom, her hands on her little hips. She definitely got your attitude.

“You say thank you, you don’t kiss her,” she said, her arms up in the air. You had to place a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. If only she knew.

“Oh! See that’s how we say thank you where I’m from,” Tom tried to make up some scenario so she wouldn’t be upset with him. “How should I do it here?”

“You say thank you and you hug her,” she said without any hesitation.

“Okay,” Tom said standing up to face you. “Thank you for inviting me,” Tom said as he held his hands out, wrapping them around you, giving you a quick hug. He released you and looked back down at Alexis. “Is that better?”

She nodded her head as she looked up to Tom. He looked at you as if asking what to do. You slightly gestured your head for him to leave and change.

“How about we get ready to cut the cake?” You suggested, picking your daughter up. You walked back around the corner as Lex buried her face in your neck, holding onto you tightly. You rubbed her back before you saw Nikki coming toward you.

“What happened?” She asked seeing the distressed girl. She reached a hand out, placing it on her shoulder.

“She saw Spider-Man kissing Mommy and got upset because she’s only allowed to kiss Dad,” you told her.

You looked at Nikki as she let out a soft ‘aw’ at the sweet situation. You placed Alexis on the ground, squatting down to be on her level. You saw a few tears in her eyes and she was sniffling.

“Do you still like Spider-Man?” You asked her. She nodded her head as she wiped her eye with her little fist.

“But less than Iron Man now,” She said.

“I think that’s fair,” you told her. “But he was only trying to say thank you. I would never kiss someone other than your dad.” She nodded her head before turning away from you, looking at her friends.

“Can we have cake now?” She asked.

“Yes, go play with your friends some more and I’ll get it ready,” you told her, prompting her to nod her head and run toward her friends. You stood up and headed inside the house where you kept the cake boxed and fresh.

“Hey darling,” Tom said as he came down the stairs, now dressed in his usual shirt and jeans. “Is she really upset?”

“She cried a little bit, but I think she’s mostly over it now.” You looked back at him, “Can you help me with this?” You asked him. The cake, a three tier with Starlord on the bottom, Iron Man in the middle, and Spider-Man on top, was super heavy. He grabbed it, picking it up, and heading toward the door.

“Does she still like Spider-Man at least?”

“Yes, but less than Iron Man. You've been demoted, sorry to break it to you,” you said with a laugh as you opened the door for him.

“Cake!” Lex shouted as she saw Tom. Everyone ran toward him, making him stop instantly.

“Woah, step back from the cake,” he said dramatically still needing to walk it to the table. They backed up a bit, giving him a little room. He walked to the table, placing the cake down and you added four birthday candles to it. 

“Picture!” your mom yelled out, reminding you. “I want one with her by herslef and then all of you.” You showed Lex were to stand and stood to the side as your mom took the picture. When she told you she got it, you and Tom moved back toward her. 

“Going up,” Tom said as he picked Lex up. She laughed and held onto his neck as she turned to face your mom for the second picture. You stood beside them, one hand on Tom’s back and the other on one of Alexis’s legs. You looked at the camera for the picture, Nikki stepping in to take one also.

“Too cute,” your mom said. Tom placed Alexis back on the ground, and you lit the candles, singing happy birthday before she blew them out, and handed out pieces to everyone.

You were sat at a plastic table as you and Tom ate your own pieces of cake. Lex sat by Tom, telling him about everything he had missed.

“And then I saw Spider-Man kissing Mommy,” she said drastically making Tom gasp in fake shock.

“What?” He asked and she nodded her head. “Did you tell him stop? That only Dad can kiss Mommy?”

“I did! But he said it was how he says thank you. I think it’s weird,” she said shaking her head at the last sentence.

“Well if it’s how he says thank you, I don’t think we can be too upset. Some people do things differently than us, and that’s okay, we just have to learn about it,” he said as he looked at her intently. You were shocked- he had turned this into such a lesson for her.

“But why?” She asked. The favorite question of kids her age.

“Because we come from different places and those places have different ways of doing things,” he told her. He reached his hand out, gently pushing away some hair that had fallen into her face.

After a while, the party had wrapped up. You had cleaned up the decorations, thrown away all the trash, and found yourself ready to sit on the couch and do nothing. Tom was currently with Alexis, reading her a book before she went to sleep. You always felt a little bad when you weren’t part of the bedtime routine, but she had specifically asked for Tom tonight. You stood in the doorframe as you watched.

“The end,” Tom said closing the book. “Goodnight, love.” You watched as he placed a kiss on her forehead before standing up, ready to exit the room.

“Mommy,” Lex said as she saw you. 

“Hey, sweet girl,” you said, moving to stand next to her bed, bending down to look at her better. “Did you have a fun day?” you asked. 

“Yeah,” she said as a big yawn escaped. 

“Good.” You kissed her forehead also, looking back at her. “Sleep tight. I love you.”

“I love you,” she said back before lifting her head up to look at Tom. “I love you, Dad.” You could feel the smile as he heard her words. 

“I love you too, princess,” he told her.

“Now go to sleep,” you told her, giving her one last kiss before standing up and following Tom out of the room, closing the door.

“That was a successful day,” Tom said after you made your way downstairs.You both sat on the couch, Tom with his arm around you while you leaned into him.

“Yeah, it was perfect til I had to make out with you like I did,” you told him. You really felt bad about the situation thinking back on it. You don’t think it ruined the party, but it definitely shouldn’t have happened.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Tom started to say.

“She cried at her own birthday party, Tom. It was pretty bad,” you said, your conscience beginning to weigh heavy on you.

“Yeah, but she got over it. She probably won’t even remember it when she wakes up.”

“I can only hope,” you said to yourself.

“Hey, but at least we know now that you will not be kissing other guys because she will not allow it,” Tom said jokingly.

“You say that like I get around,” you looked at him with a questioning glance.

“Well if you kiss Spider-Man that casually, who knows who else you’ll kiss,” he said with a big, teasing smile.

“Shut up,” you said with a laugh, turning your body to lay on him. “I only want to kiss you,” you said as you kissed him.

“Only kiss?” He said suggestively. You rolled your eyes playfully before kissing him one more time, standing up and heading to your bedroom downstairs, turning back to look at Tom.

“Come on, Spider-Man.”

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

If you can’t talk to someone directly, then that’s your own issue. Work on it for better connections IRL and in the RPC. Don’t guilt trip, don’t lie to make yourself look better. Don’t avoid a topic you may have had a hand in, too. You’ll be better off and have better friends and be a better person too. It’s about to get personal on here, so forgive me ahead of time. It’s relevent enough I think.

No one knows when something bothers you until you talk about it or say it out right, and if it ceases to be just a simple ‘peeve’ then it’s on you to bring it up and not shit on someone like a child seeking to spread gossip. It takes time, and it takes courage– I know.

However, remember you can be just as shitty, if not worse on some fronts if you hold every little thing against someone who doenst know a damn thing about some issues when you never ever take the time to talk about them. They may be flat out ignorant to the whole thing. It takes two to talk. It takes one to guilt and it’s very easy to lie and minimize your side of the problem if there is one.

Go on, run to your Anon boards and exggerate issues if you want to do that too. I’ve seen that happen alot where no one takes the time to talk and runs thier mouth in-group like a fool only for it to crop up later blown way out of proportion. It’s not pretty and if you have a hand and enabling the issue, you’re not really doing anything to make it better for yourself or anyone really.  Also don’t play games with someoen and make them feel litrally guilty about super specific problems that they can hardly begin to grasp until they are spoken on.

I’ve once knew someone who, for nearly a decade, wouldn’t talk to me much when she had a problem especially concerning RP. This girl used to MAKE ME FEEL BAD about choices SHE MADE in our rps, too. If it wasn’t RP issues it was a pissing contest for reasons I did not understand completely. It went far outside of a  that setting also, like fuck she would make me feel bad for not supposedly being as 'hurt and abused’ as she had been when I tried to seek support after my step mother slapped the hell out of me as one such classic example. Or if I dared open up about any issues I had irl in my life or with her or even over the rps we had– it was that bad. But hah… It didn’t start off that way. Guess that’s part of why I held on too lol. When it came to RP she would always talk over me, tell me how I always did 'nothing’ when it was time to yank out her list of  but things to guilt me with or victimize herslef. She then would get  pissed when I had plot ideas, or tried to take control of the session when I thought i was allowed to do more and create a better time for us. She’d get pissed at me for not worshipping her Mary Sue’s or for not wanting to always ship with her hyper abusive Gary stus. Why didn’t I drop her? I’m sure you’re probably wondering now– I tried. We became 'friends’ again after two years of silence just about, and I was stuck in the in circle of feeling like i needed her. It was like boarder-line Stockholm syndorm after a point to be really honest. She made me feel guilty for everything I’d do even when I wasn’t doing anything truly wrong. It all spiraled out of control with each passing year, constant arguments on the weekly was a norm and I made myself accept that discomfort and blamed myself whenever it happened. I was also painfully afraid of her hurting herself over me too, as she’d fallen into frequent bouts self harm, and would proceed to send me pictures of it whenever we disagreed. I felt guilt at the idea of leaving her again and it was a nightmare.

She would hold things against me over fiction, project personal issues I had nothing to do with onto me whenever she could and in whatever plot we had. Tell me I’m toxic and abusive and too cold when i stood up for myself. If something went wrong, she would also do this thing where she’d selectively pick things and hold onto them… then bring it all out and compose an articulate list and invalidate even everything I tried to fix (or owned up to to work on) for her benefit. She would also gaslight me when i KNEW she wasn’t right about something and had PROOF OF IT from old chats and old rps, or even from old mutual friends. I know this personal, and extream but I’ve seen too many questionable folks in the RPC that remind me of her to a T with the way they treat some people. They expect them to know every issue, or they treat them like shit and gaslight them ti the point where they wonder if they’re equally valid in any sense, or turn people against them without the full story. Or better yet, compose call out posts that are hardly justified and turned out to be false in the grand scheme of things.

It did not end there. She had no issue running around and making me out to be the worst of the worst the point that friends of her friends spread rumors on the website we were on at the time. Alienated me from the rp groups we tried to join. It was only when someone stright up asked me about it that i KNEW that she was doing it to the extent that she was, screen caps and all. Why may you ask, was she doing it? All over personal issues and peeves and jealousy… In rp. When she wasn’t busy making me feel bad over what i was or was not doing, she was busy pinning me with things or holding onto problems she didn’t talk about or would half-compose so she could bash me and feel justified even when she was wrong. She sometimes did this for some kinda pity party spot-light bullshit.

I really think some of you are probably like her. Not all of course, but from what I’ve seen it makes me wonder how you actually handle it or if you expect people to know all your particular concerns on your hobby or even an irl issue, or if you’re jealous enough to twist a story to your favor or take much deeper offence then most people would in the RPC… Or hell, if you gaslight them and get pissed when they try to defend themselves even when they try to understand.

With some of these people, if it wasn’t for the Anon rule, I have no doubt that they’d name drop in order to shame someone for something they can perfectly talk to them over. Oh, and before I get 'BUT THIS PERSON IS A DRAMA HOUND’ or whatever excuse you throw at me not to talk out an issue or to guilt people to deatg, I can understand that with some people with a well known history of being a shit lord can’t be talked to– look what i dealt with. On the other hand, there are plenty of you who are likely more than capable to bring up your grief if the friend is level headed enough. And has proven to be… But overall, it seems like there’s just so much vitriol in the RPC that its depressing and I wonder who is telling the truth and who isn’t. Or who is trying to make a friendship work over who wants to start hating over things they could solve, or with people they want to Target for the sake of. I also wonder how many avoid working it out just so they can remain upset and hold the upper hand of the problem… Much like she did. All over fiction or some personal things that can be sorted.

Where and when will it end?

[jordan102791]

The Danger with Faeries and Mortals part17

Joseph saw himself down the corridor at a fast clip. He wanted to find the family Greenwall to tell them the news before seeing Lord Greenwall dragged into the pit. He headed straight for the gardens, hoping that would be where he could find the young miss. Her mother usually took tea about this time off of kitchen.

He skidded to a stop as he approached the archway leading out to the oasis. Righting himself before stepping out. He was not disappointed in his guessing on Rebecca's location.

She hadn't seen him yet as she softly caressed the petals of the nearby flowers. Her eyes closed, turned up towards the sun like she was communing with all tje world around her. He hated interrupting for such vile news, but it was better him to do it than any cruelty someone else might send her way.

Quietly, he walked towards her. He made sure his feet crunched on the gravel, so he would not startle her as he reached out to her. His hand raised to graze her shoulder, but never quite getting there as she turned to scorch him with those vibrant green eyes of hers. The air stilled in him for a second before regaining himself. It stopped completely when a smile spread over her face seeing it was him. Her smile stole the very air from around him and he cursed himself, hated himself that he would be the one stealing that gift to the world away. Something must have shone on his face as her smile wavered and wilted like the flowers she loved so much did at winter's approach. Her brow creasing in concern.

"My lord, what's the matter?"

"I'd rather discuss the matter all at once with your mother."

She searched his face looking for answers, but finding none. She nods, following him back towards the kitchens. He steels himself to give the blow he knows he must.

*****

"How? How can this be?" Eliza screeched at Joseph. Her face so mottled with angry. Not even concerned for the babe in her arms growing agitated at her growing voice. Rebecca huddled in on herslef in the corner. Arms crossed over her stomach, trying so desperately to hold herself together and everything in.

"It would seem he thought to make up lies of our King to have him overthrown."

"Lies! My Matthias is a good honorable man, he would never scheme against the court. Anything he would have told you is in sincerity."

"Milady, I only know what he said and what our King has assured us had not come to pass. And what the King has ordered for his fate."

Eliza whirled away from the small man, locking in on the young woman trying so earnestly to keep herself from falling apart. "You! You horrid little wretch! This is your fault!" Joseph's eyes grew wide as Eliza began her tirade on her daughter. "It is bc of you we are even here! If you had not reached so high above yourself, to deem yourself worthy of marrying a king, we would have still been home and my Matthias would not now be on death's front step. Your father should have let me drown you in that river as a babe. It would have solved all our troubles then," she snarled. Rebecca winced as the words stung her face.

"Mother, please!" Peter stepped forwards to cut their mother off. He'd watched enough times at Eliza's cruelty towards his sister. He never understood why she would hate the girl so much. Rebecca had been fairly benign their whole lives, yet Eliza still railed against her constantly. Their father had often shielded the girl, but now he would be gone and Peter would be man of the house. He was the new Lord Greenwall, so it would be his responsibility to step in. He never wished harm to his sister, she was a bit odd, but always carried a kind grace about her. "Don't do this. You know Rebecca never chose to come here."

"I know such thing! She used those whoring wiles of hers to try and lead the King by the cock and now we all must pay for it, the father who loved her so the highest price. So if you would like to love her and face the same wrath as my Matthias, your father, so be it, but I will not watch," Eliza said through clinched teeth, wrinkling her nose as she growled. The fire in her eyes turned once more in the redhead's direction before thrusting herself out the doorway.

Peter gave a heavy breath he'd been holding. He turned to appraise Rebecca, but she would not look up to him. He put his finger under her chin, tilting her head up until her eyes met his. He gave her a gentle smile. His head bobbed as he reassured it would be all right. Their mother was just upset and would see reason again once she was calm. He let her go and made his way to follow after Eliza, he took one last look before sighing and stepping out.

Joseph stood in the silence of the shadows. What had the old gods and the new just deigned him to watch? He understood, on a level, the cruelty of his brother, but how could a mother talk to her own child in such a way. He was still frozen in his place, stunned at what he witnessed. Rebecca keened to the side and seemed to just crumple to the floor. He could move now, as if she had released him from the spell he was under, and caught her before she smashed completely to the floor.

She made no sounds, but the tremble in her spoke of tears she didn't want to share. He lowered himself to sit on the uneven stone floor and gathered her to his lap. A calming hand rubbed circles across her back as his other hand held her face to where his shoulder under his chin. His thumb gently smoothing her forehead. Her skin felt so heated under his cool hand. He draped her legs across his own and simply rocked her. She never uttered a sound, but he felt the dampness of her tears soaking through the lapels of his shirt. He knew he wouldn't be able to fix what was to come, but he could be here to comfort her and be her friend now.

They stayed there until her tears ran dry and he would need to change his clothing. Long after his legs had grown numb and cold from the hard, worn floor. When she'd finally finished and taken a few shaky breaths he left her face to look at him. She hadn't realized their faces were so close and she jerked back slightly, he let her go. The rough pad of his thumb swept under her reddened eyes drying them. There was an intimacy that scared her and she tuened her face from his, but he caught her chin turning her back to meet his liquid blue eyes.

"I'm not sure how much of it she meant and how much she's blaming herself for, but I know what she said isn't true. I've seen it in you, in the look that passes through your eyes when you think no one's looking, in the way you dance when you're by yourself. I know you didn't want to come here and I know you don't want to marry my brother. It's all right, Miss, it'll be all right." He gathered her up and stood, placing her feet gently to the floor and straightened her skirts. He looked down at his shirt and gave her a sympathetic smile. Her cheeks reddened, her eyes cast to the floor, but she dared not speak. He nodded, giving her hand a squeeze and went off to change.

[boostmycreativity]

No.: 12

it's been a while .... i feal rusti in my writing... Y/N - your name C/N - Crush name You woke up to your phone ringing. You tuned it around to look at the time. 2:06 am. „Hello“ you answer your phone. The number was in your contacts. She was in the same study group as you. She lived in another campus then you. Yours was a bit further out. „Hey, Y/N. It's good that you're awake. Hey, can you pick C/N up?“ „Why, what's going on“ „First he said he wouldn't drink and drive back home with his bicycle. But now he is drunk and the only one he wants us to call is you“ „ Can't he just stay the night at your place?“ „ No, the party is still going. He needs to go home. He drunk too much. He drinks so much these days.“ uh C/N, he acts so dull these days. These days you ask yourself how you could even fall for him. „fine, I will pick him up. I guess I will be there in 20 min!“ you got out of bed, changes into some warmer clothes. The night where freezing. So was the interior of your car. You pulled your sleeves over your hands to act like cloves, so you wouldn't have to touch the steering wheel. You ask for the girl who called you. You saw C/N bevor you could find the Girl who called. C/N lock as if he had fallen asleep on an armchair. But as you headed for him you saw he was awake and as he talked you could te he was really drunk. „Y/N“ he yelled. Trying to stand up, but he moved to sudden and so he tripped, towards you. He turned is falling on you into a hug and so you stood there for a few seconds. „oh y/N, so good that you here, thank you for picking C/N up, you were his last hope“. Well, great you thought. „Ok C/N lets go“ c/N stood on his own but you weren't quite certain if he could walk properly. „I`m going with yoooou“ mumbled, it was more the alcohol talking than C/N his/herself. Putting an arm around you and putting a lot of weight on you. Finally, you reached your car, as C/N was also finally seated and you got it started raining. Fist just a little but it got heavier. It made you sleepy. In the parking lot, you didn't want to leave the car. It was so heavily raining. You would get totally soaked just on the way to open the passenger door. „What are we doing Y/N“ C/N mumbled. „Waiting“ „okay, how long?“ „I don't know, till the rain stops“ „ Y/N you know, with you I don't mind waiting“ „ Alright“ you just answered. It was already after 3:00 am and you stared yawing a lot. „Y/N are you sleeping“ you couldn't help but thinking that now he was in a sweet drunk sted. He was cute. Ans adorable. Why is he doing this to me you thought. „Not yet, C/N we are going to run through the rain, I really want to go back to bed.“ you turned towards him. „Why did you leave your bed?“ He/She looked directly into your eyes. „For you, you dummass.“ you answered shortly bevor getting out of the car. C/N could walk on his/her self again. Wich was an advantage so you both were faster at his/her building. But you still were soaking wet, „So C/N we are here, where your student id?“ „don't know, search me“ „Oh come on. Just open the door and go in“ you were annoyed. as C/N didn't make any affords to search his/herself you just decided to look yourself. You touched his/her front pocket but nothing. So you took your guts and reached for the back pockets. You found his/her id card. „ Will you find your dorm?“ you asked C/N. As if he/her could give you a real answer. You noticed your „mistake“ and just asked for C/N Dorm and Foor Number. C/N had a dorm to his/her self, because he/she was watching over some freshers. „My top is all wet,“ C/N said as you had opened the door for him/her. „Yes, mine too.“ C/N quickly had to towels. One for him/herslef on for you. C/N undressed him/herself and changed into dry pajamas. „Y/N, do you want a dry sweatshirt. Yours is all wet.“ bevor you could reply he/she handed you a sweatshirt. And because your was rely wet on you changed into it and dry your skin with the towel. You kept yawing. And you sed down on the couch that was in the room. As you opened your eyes. You realized you didn't walk to your building anymore. You were in C/N's room. Damit you thought to yourself. You got up. C/N must have given you a blanket. As you tried to get up quietly, but woke C/N up. „Y/N?“ „Yes, sorry for waking you, I'm already going“ „What happened did we …“ „ I picked you up last night, you where quiet drunk and apparently I was the only one sober enough to get you back home. It was lait and I was tired .... and we got all wet... in the rain... " You added quickly. C/N didn't say anything so you just continued talking. "I got a towel from to, that was quite nice. But as I sat down on the couch my body must have thought I had reached a save sleeping spot" „Oh, I'm sorry. I can't recall anything right now, wait … did I … did I kiss you?“ you shook your head „ Just a dream then, again“ C/N mumbled. AGAIN? What? Let's get out of here! you couldn't make anything out of this situation and just leave. „I'm going then ... “ you said to get out of that awkward situation „Wait, Y/N can I take you out for a coffee or lunch or something to pay you back“ „It's fine you don't have to pay me back“ you turned around ready to leave for real „And if it wasn't for paying back.“ C/N was out of his/her bed and you were just behind you. You turned back around. „Are you Asking me out?“ you couldn't hide your red checks. But C/N wasn't directly looking at you. He/She was avoiding any Eye contact. „Yes, drinking didn't make me forget about you so, I want to try to asking you out for real“ you didn't know what to say but C/N also didn't stop talking „You know I might seem confident but I lose all that confidence and get that shy kid again, around you because,... it's when I like somebody,... and I liked you since we meet as freshers. I'm sorry, you know I'm just going to give you your gas money and no longer bothering you.“ He/she looked down at the floor. What, C/N, likes me? I think about it, and I also could see myself with C/N but,... I thought he/she would be the crush I had, we would stay Friends and then at his Weeding I could laugh and tell him. He/she shy? C/N wasn't an awkward person you thought. So again you took all your guts and kissed him/her. You were not thinking at that moment. And as soon as your head was working again you tried fleeing the scene. But C/N just now realizing what just happen and kissed you right back. After you, two separated c/N was the first to find his/her voice again. „ I hope it was a yes.“ C/N said. You smiled. And looked at him/her and nodded.

[colorfullfalls]

Helpful Parkers

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Reader gets self conscious and Peter and May help her. 

Peter Parker loves swimming. Sometimes you tease him by calling him tadpole rather than Spider-Man. That being said, he has been begging you to go jump in a pool with him. You have wanted to, but you couldn't. Your body grew from last summer, some in a good way and some not. 

Your boobs had moved at least another cup size up and your butt had become larger as well. Those were the main reasons why you needed a new bathing suit. Your boobs practically exploded of all of your old ones. When you had told Peter the dilemma, he had been eager to go with you. He wanted to impress you by picking out really cute suits. That boy is nothing but a pleaser. 

He had grabbed a lot of cute suits and threw them hectically into your arms as he shoved you into one of the many dressing rooms. You were laughing at how eager he was to see which ones you liked. After all, he did try to get the best possible ones. 

You stript yourself out of your clothes and looked at the assortment before mentally making a try on plan. You seperated the two peices from the one suits and decided that the two peices would have to be the first contestant. Excitment ran through your veins as you took the first one off of the hanger and started putting it on. It was your favorite one. 

Yellow was your favorite color and peter nailed it. This suit was yellow with white and blue flowers all over the top and the bottoms were just blue. You were grinning from ear to ear but that grin turned into a look of confusion as you stared in the mirror. The sight made your stomach drop. You did not look very good in this one, you thought as you turned. 

The bottoms looked fine but the top not so much. Your boobs were too big even though Peter swore that it was the biggest size they had. And not only that, your stomach was not as flat as you thought it was. The soft rolls made you bite your lips in complete and utter disappointment. You sighed as you shook your head. 

Some bathing suits just don't fit certain bodies, you were encouraged by that and decided to move on to the next one. 

Yet again you were upset as you stared at yourself in the mirror. The top was actually the right size and so were the bottoms, but you did not want to get it. You were embarrassed by your stomach and you didn't want anyone to see you like this. 

Maybe two pieces just weren't for you. You knew that other girls with a stomach could rock these easily and you thought they were beautiful. You just couldn't see yourself that way, it was your number one insecurity. The one peice were really cute too and you were excited to try them on. You prayed that they would look good, or at least better than the previous ones had looked. 

Peter stood outside the stall as he scrolled aimlessly through his phone. He was surprised that you hadnt come out to show him any of them yet but he wasnt worried at all. You were gorgeous and you were probably just staring at yourself in them. He would do that if he were you. 

You were staring at yourself, but not in the way Peter assumed. You were mad, upset, embarrased, and done with trying the bathing suits on. Even the one peices somehow managed to make you look really bad. You let out a shaky sigh as you put your clothes back on and sat on the bench. How were you going to explain to Peter that you loved those suits, they just looked awful on your body?

Peter slipped his phone in his back pocket as he heard your shaky sigh. You were on the verge of crying and he knew it. He knew it because he knew you like the back of his hand and the spidey senses did help a bit. He raised his hand and gently knocked.

"Y/n, baby, are you okay?" He got no reply, only a sniffle, "What's wrong? Was my fashion sense so bad that it made you cry?" 

"No." You cried out from inside the stall. Peter's heart clenched at the sound. His girl was upset and there was a wall seperating him from helping you. 

"Bub, let me in, open the door." He said softly as he put his head against the door. When you didn't he decided to take actions into his own hands. He looked around and saw that no workers or shoppers were around. He easily put his hands at the top of the stall and lifted himself up, moving over the wall and jumping down so that he was standing in front of you. You refused to look at him as you stared at the cement floor. 

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He panickly asked as he knelt down in front of you. Your watery eyes avoided his soft and caring brown ones as you shrugged. He sighed in frustration as he ran a hand through his brown curls. 

"I can't help you if you dont tell me anything, Y/n." 

"I'm fat. I looked so bad in each of those suits. I was so excited to try them on and it ended up being a disaster." You croaked out as the tears freed themselves from your eyes and ran down your face. 

Peter was at a loss of words. You were singlehandely the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and seeing you so upset about your body made him angry. Society made girls think that if they werent as skinny as a twig, that they were fat and ugly. Peter was not having it.

"I bet you that you were glowing in those bathing suits, you just let your mind get ahead of yourself," He sweetly said as he picked you up and sat down so that you were sitting on his lap. You stubbornly shook your head against his shoulder. 

"My mind could clearly process what it saw and it was not a nice sight, Peter. Can we please just go home? I dont want to be here anymore." 

Peter sighed as he placed a sweet kiss to your cheek, "Okay, lets go." 

~

On the walk home you were uncharacteristically quiet and that worried Peter. He hoped that you would soon forget the dressing room and that you were return to his happy go lucky gal. Apparently the suits bothered you more than he thought. He was determined to make you feel better. 

"Hey, there is a pet store around the block, why don't we go and look around?" He asked as he swung your hands back and forth. You smiled and gave him a nod. 

"Let's do it." 

You two walked in and you instantly felt the weight lift off of your shoulders. Why were you so upset in the store? You loved yourself and you were slightly ashamed that you let your insecurities get the best of you like that. You basically dragged Peter over to the cat room as you two slipped in. You had a big grin on your face as you kneeled down and began to pet the little fur balls. You let out a loud laugh as one even juped right onto Peter's lap. 

"Can we take seven home? I want them all." You cooed as you ran your hand down a grey cat's back and up its fluffy tail. 

"Aunt May would kill me. She isn't really a big cat person like you, love." 

"How can you not be a cat person? They are just so lovable and god, I need them to live with me right now." You scopped the grey cat on you lap and hugged it tightly. 

Peter looked at his watch and saw that it was almost time for dinner and his aunt would not be happy if you two were late yet again. You said goodbye to your new furry friends as Peter gently led you out of the store. Peter was glad that he made you feel better. Your mood had changed since the dressing room and for that he was glad. He hated seeing you upset and insecure like that. It hurt his little spider boy heart. 

When you stepped into the Parker's apartment you were met with the lovely smell of expertly made meat loaf. May burns things sometimes, but boy can she cook. She offered you two a sweet smile as she grabbed the oven mits and got the pan out. Peter grabbed two glasses as you grabbed the chocolate syrup and milk out of the fridge. It was a tradition for you two to drink chocolate milk for dinner. It was your thing. 

"How was shopping, get anything cute?" May asked as she sliced the meatloaf. Peter's eyes widened at the question as he saw your cute little face drop slightly. 

"Um, no. I didnt see anything I really liked. Just have to keep looking." You said. Peter's heart hurt at the tone of your voice. The bathing suit still hurt you, meaning it hurt him too. 

"That's too bad. After dinner we can go on to amazon and look because the bathing suits at stores are always aimed at the model type girls anyway." May offered as she set the food on the table and pulled her chair out. 

Her saying that made you feel better, because what she said was true. There had to be a bathing suit out there somewhere that would make you look really good. Stores in New York barley ever had cute clothes with sizes larger than a medium which was very aggravating. May did most of her shopping online too. 

"That sounds perfect May, thank you." You gratefully say as Peter ushers you towards the table. 

~

A week later the whole bathing suit ordeal was long forgotten. Peter constantly showered you with love and adoration that it was hard to think bad of yourself. You two were bored on the rainy late June day and were lying on his couch as you watched reruns of cartoons. You two were a bit childish but at least you could act that way around eachother. 

You laughed into Peter's chest as Wiley Coyote fell off the cliff and smashed right into the dirt. You and Peter were a tangled mess on the couch, not that either of you cared. Your legs were intertwined and Peter laid on his back as you rested on top of him, it was the go to cuddle positon. Peter had his arm wrapped around your back as the other lazily twirled a section of your hair between his fingers. 

May walked in, complaining to herslef about the box that she tripped on while trying to enter the apartment. She picked it up as she read it and then held it out towards you. 

"Hey, Y/n, this package is yours. Go try it on, sister." She encouragingly said. You grinned as you clumsily got up. Peter was being a little shit and wouldnt let go of you. 

"No, stop, try it on later. I want to cuddle." He whined as you finally made it out of his spidey grip. You playfully rolled your eyes at him as you walked towards the bathroom with the box in hand. You were nervous as you slipped it on. Would this one look bad too?

Not at all. The yellow and grey bathingsuit looked great on you. The bottoms were high wasted so it covered up the rolls that you were self concious about. You happily covered your face with your hands as you continued to look at yourself. For once you thought you looked great in a bathing suit. You ran out of the bathroom and into the living room to show Peter and May, only May wasnt there. 

Peter was on the couch still watching cartoons, his back to you. 

"Where is May?"

Peter sat up as he stuggled to get the blanket off himself. He stood up and turned towards you, mouth going agape as you took you in. God, you were stunning. His cheeks and ears got red as he realized that he was just staring at you instead of answering the question. 

"She went to grab milk because we used it all last night." He stumbled out the words as you walked closer to him. You were taking his breath away. 

"Oh, well I like this, I mean I think it looks really good.. What do-"

Peter interrupted by pulling you in for a kiss. His hand went to your chin to nudge your head a bit for more access as the other one grabbed your hip to pull you closer to him. You were driving him crazy and he just loved you so much and there you were, looking fine as hell in his living room. You melted as he moved his lips from yours and began peppering kisses all over your face. 

"You look like a snacc." He whispered as his forehead rested against yours. His brown eyes looked deeply into your e/c ones. 

"Peter, stop, thats the worst." You laughed as you playfully shoved him away. Peter was not having it though and he pulled you right back to him. 

"Seriously though, you look stunning. And as happy I am about you finding a suit that you love, I am reconsidering wanting to go swimming now." 

You frowned, "Pete, why don't you want to go swimming?"

He picked you up over his shoulder and ran into his room, shutting the door. May wouldnt be home for a few minuets and she really didnt care that the door was shut. She trusted you two. She once even had a talk with you two that she as okay with you two doing it, you just had to promise to be safe and wise about it. 

He threw you on his bed and jumped after you as he threw the blankets over you. 

"Someone might see how gorgeous you are and then take you, can't let that happen. Now we have to hide in here for the rest of our lives." He explained as he left sloppy kisses all over your exposed skin. 

You laughed as you attempted to crawl away from him but yet again he drug you back, making you squeal, which only made Peter even happier. The two of you stared at each other as Peter held you tight against him. It was peaceful until you felt the bathing suit top come undone. You accusingly looked at your boyfriend. 

"Did you just untie my top?"

[musicalgeek24601]

Child of mine

Sam awoke chained to a chair and ruby standing in front of him.                          “I thought you were dead!” He stated, taken back by seeing her again. “I saw dean kill you, How the hell are you alive?!”                                                           “I have friends in high places. I brought Lucifer out from his cage. He was grateful and as a reward, he brought me back.” She smiled as she looked at him with an evil eye. “You ruined everything! Everything I had worked so hard to achieve, you and your brother RUINED!! You tossed Lucifer back into his cage and have destroyed every chance he has made to claim the earth. Now I’m going to do what no one else could. I’m going to kill you-”.                                   Sam laughed. “What makes you so confident?”                                                   “I got a secret weapon up my sleeve,” Ruby replied smugly. She sat on his lap and kissed his lips. A kiss that brought back memories and feeling of the love he had towards her in the past. She then took out a knife from her pocket and jabbed the knife into his side, he screamed in pain. She then slit a gash onto the side of his neck. He yelled out in pain once more. A young girl sat in the corner of the room, fearfully watching every move.the child had tears in her eyes and a fearful expression. she had huge scars all over her arms and legs. She couldn’t have been more than seven. “And here is my secret weapon, the demon Nephilim herself!” Ruby remarked. She smiled.                                                “You don’t stand a chance. You do know Nephilim can do almost anything and are more powerful than any other creature.”                                                  “Then why would she listen to you? Your just some bitch who lost to a human.” Sam responded. Ruby quickly stabbed her blade into Sam’s leg. “She will listen to me because I’m her mother. You know what they say about children at her age? They crave love. I wouldn’t do anything to help her in any way, won’t show her affection or even give her a slice of food, unless she obeys me. it’s like having my own minion only she’s dumber.” She laughed evilly. “Is she-” he began to ask, knowing the answer could be worse than not knowing. “Is she my child?” Ruby grinned. “Of course. That’s what makes this so much more fun. Your going to be murdered slowly and painfully by your own flesh and blood.” She turned to the small child. “Kill him, Nina.”                                                “Mother you said last time would be the last! You said I wouldn’t have to kill anymore.”                                                                                                         “NINA DO AS I SAY!! No one else will love you! You’re a beast! This is what you were born to do! You are a worthless child who only has the purpose of serving me!”                                                                                                                     “Don’t do this. You have a choice you don’t have to be bad, you can choose to use your powers for good. ” Sam told Nina. “I know people who are born monsters or turn into them. But they control it and they live normal lives with friends and family. I don’t fear you and I don’t hate you. I want to help you, I can give you a semi-normal life. I can help you to become whatever you dream. Me and my brother we save lives not take them.”                                                   Nina aimed her hands at Sam, a red glow coming from her hands. Sam closed his eyes. Then he heard ruby scream. “You little bitch!” Ruby yelled. He looked at his hands and legs, he saw they were free. But not only that he was healed. He looked at the child shocked. Nina then snapped her fingers and ruby disappeared. “I sent her back to hell. We are in a warehouse in New York City. You have to get out of here quick, mr, She will come back for me, I know she will if I’m not here….she will go after you. ”                                                                       Sam grabbed the child’s hand. “I don’t care, she can do her worst. I’m gonna keep my promise to you and keep you safe.” He grinned at her. “no one deserves to be treated that way.”                                                                         She hugged him, tear running down her face. “Thank you, mr.” She replied. “No ones ever been nice to me.”                                                                              “Well, that’s going to change.” He patted her head. “You can call me Sam by the way…for now at least.” He picked her up and made his escape.

A few hours later

Sam had been living at the time in the bunker with Dean and Dean`s daughter, Dawn. He knew his brother would never let Nina stay if he knew what she was or who she came from. sam knew he would have to keep that a secret.             “i`m scared…i dont like new people.” nina told sam clutching onto him as he carried her in his arms.                                                                                         “they`ll accept you, i know they will. but you cant tell them about your powers or who your mom is. my brother knew Ruby and hated her and i`m afraid if he knows who your mom is….he might be….afraid that you would be like her. so for a while i dont want you to keep it a secert.”                                                          Nina nodded. “I understand, i can do that and i dont want to use my powers anymore and i wont. bad things happen when i use my powers, i can control it and i will make sure i don’t use em. i will do that.”                                                                     Sam walked into the bunker with the child in his hand. nina hid her face in his chest. the light bothered her eyes and yet she found herslef looking around at the stange surrounding. Sam explained that Nina was his child and fabricated the story of how he found her. he told them he was trying to save a town from vampires. when he came face to face with a girl he had known, he asked her the usual questions pertaining to the case and was on his way. but as the vampires became more and more the women was drained of her blood by one of the vampires. as she died she told Sam that Nina was his and that she wanted him to take her, so he did. Dean seemed to very much believe this tale, he instantly noticed the child`s fearful face.   “hey kid don’t worry we are the good guys and we are going to keep you safe.” Dean told her. In his head he was worried if sam could even take care of this kid. His brother could barely cook himslef breakfast and now he had a living child to take care of. He knew he would have to help him a lot. He moved away from sam and moved over to dawn. “I’m going to need your help in a huge way! I don’t think your uncle is going to be very good at being a daddy.” He whispered. “He has the heart and I know he will love her like crazy, but I think he is going to need to learn a lot and we need to help him.” He picked up Dawn and held her at his side. “So here is the thing. I need you to be the best cousin to Nina and I want you to help her feel safe and to even help with small things like brushing her teeth or getting dressed if she needs it. Your a big girl and you can do a lot so I want you to do this for Sammy.”

[franklyfunghoul]

my thoughts while watching riverdale sEASON FINALE: (spoilers, probably) drugs and maple syrup same thing PESKY KIDS MADE ME THINK YOU SCOOBY DOO the way keller said "pushin the dope" is so white bless the lord for giving archie shirts that fit well ARCHIE SHUT UP YOU ARE ALL STILL IN DEEP SHIT AHAHHAHA HIS DAD JUST SAID THAT IM A PROPHET now i want pancakes thanks coopers WHY ARE YOU OK WITH YOUR FATHER HE IS A SHITTY HUMAN betty looks so guilty when she gets called to the principal and she didn't even do anything wow YEAH ARCHIES RIGHT WHAT ABOUT JUGHEAD THE BOY DESERVES IT oh wait jughead doesn't perfectly work with the way you want everyone to fit into society, sorry i forgot YES PLS CAMERA LET ME SEE THESE PEOPLE FROM ALL THESE ANGLES JUGHEAD HAS EYEBAGS TO RIVAL MY OWN why did ronnie stand up to say that i feel bad for cheryl even tho she was kinda the spawn of satan I GET THE BLOSSOMS MOM IS GRIEVING BUT WHY YOU GOTTA BE A BITCH archie just pick ONE girl and stay with her please if archie starts liking betty i will sue somebody (i don't think ive done one of these where i don't threaten to sue someone) YES JOSIE YOUR HAIR IS SO PRETTY YOU LOOK LIKE A MERMAID betty and her mom are matching wow cute AT LEAST WE KNOW JOAQUIN IS SAFE don't tell me cheryl is going to do something rash im always captivated by veronicas eyebrows POLLYYYYYSYSHEH ISNT IN THE BLOSSOM HOUSE YEYEYE really fred you are breaking jughead even more (i know you're trying to help but cmon) YES JUGGY EAT THAT BURGER im worried about cheryl WHY DO THEY ONLY USE KEVIN AS AN EXTRA TO GIVE NEWS THE MAIN GROUP HES THE SHERIFFS SON HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL JUST LIKE MY BOI DESANTOS DID BUT NOOOOooOoOoooOo hermione stop i swear is polly going to have her baby during the off season YES BETTY WIN THAT ARGUMENT WITH YOUR MOTHER MAKE HER CRY YOU GO GIRL i have 68 absences yet cheryl can't stay home is the next season going to be a hunt for her brother THAT DUDE IN THR BACKGROUNDS HAIR WOW IM IMPRESSED "go to the dark side" is cheryl going to kill herself IM LAUGHING THEY ARE TOO PREPPY TO GO OVER THERE JUGGY HAS FRIENDS LEAVE HIM BE YOU ARENT HELPING YOU ARE LIKE EMBARRASSING FAMILY MEMBERS ARCHIE I S2G IS CHERYL GOING TO KILL HERSLEF CHERYL DONT ALL GO YOU IDIOTS RONNIE USE YOUR HEALS AND CRACK THE ICE archie why are you punching it ohmydjd didn't kj actually murder his hand doing this and have to go to the hospital hermione use your manners i laughed at the snort in the middle of bettys crying oops WHY DIDNT YOU JUST JUMP ON THE ICE "I WANT TO BE THAT FOR YOU" YES BOY YOU FINALLY PICKED A GIRL NOW YOU JUST GOTTA STAY WITH HER THE PUSSYCSTS ARE SOMCUTE I LOVE THEIR AESTHETIC MA BOI ARCHIE ANDREWS how does fp look good after being in a cell so long I SWEAR IF JUGHEAD CRIES ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT (MORE THAN ALREADY HAVE) JUGHEAD YOURE HERE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH if i was giving that speech i would stutter so much go betty betty people are going to be more angry and you because people don't like hearing the truth unless it makes them sound good YES KEVIN archie's impaired clapping im dead hermione being personally offended things didn't go her way THE NAMES ON THE CAST ITS SO PERFECT I LOVE CHERYL SAID MOTHER INSTEAD OF MOMMY CHERYL WYD HE SIAIDNGHEE HAAID HE SIANDIT OHMH GOD HE TOOK OF HIS HAT HE SAID I LVOE YOU TWICE BETTY SAID I LOCE YOU BACK IHMU GOD THEYA RE KISSING THEY ARE KSSIITJNHE PPICKED HER UP THIS IS SPICY RONNIE AND ARCHIE HOT DAMN KICK OF THOSE SHOES DAMN how did his shirt not get stuck on his cast HOT HOT HOT WOW JUST KIDDING JUGHEAD AND BETTY ARW WINNING THE HOT HOT HOT who the fuck DOGODOGODOGODOGFOGDOG I LOVE HSINHAIR COLES HAIR MAN WHY IS THE JACKET SO ATTRACTIVE HELL YEAH BETTY LEAVE HIM HE LOOKS DAMN Archie sounds so pure but also like an old woman "I was trying not to wake you" WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NO GOD DID ARCHIE ANDREWS JUST GRT SHOT NOPE IT WAS HIS DAD OH GOD FRED NO WHO WAS THAY OHKY GOD DIDNIT JSUT END THERE WHAY THE HELL THAYS NOT OKAU WHAY THE MCFUCKING FUCK UMMMMMMM well okay fuck me what the so many things need to happen next season, for example: -jughead not crying or almost crying every episode because i can't take it - the babies - brother??? - more of jughead in the jacket -explanation of what just happened to fred - joavin - joauin coming back - kevin and joaquin having character development -more things but i haven't written my essay thats due in the morning and it's 2 am EDIT: I SAVED THIS IN DRAFTS INSTEAD OF UPLOADING THIS I AM AN IDIOT IM SORRY

[ionica01]

Race

So I haven't written anything in a while because school and olympiads and cvs and yada yada yada... But ny live for FMA never dies, so here you go:) "Daddy!! Waaaake up!" Ed blinked stupefied to the todler that was sitting on top of him, pulling at his shirt. He had a huge grin (inherited from his father, no doubt) spread across his face as he dangerously pulled on the thin fabric of Edward's pyjama, ready to tear it apart. "Easy there, Yuriy!" He said with a hoarse voice, clearing his throat and patting his son on the head. He got up, catching the boy with both of his arms and spinning him around, causing him to let out yelps of happiness before putting him down once again and asking: "what's with all the rush?" "Mom said to wake you up for breakfast!" He said again before smirking mischeviously: "and she said not to stole." "Oh." Ed answered, scratching the back of his neck. "Well if mom says so, we better not angry her." The child nodded gravely. "Come on, let's brush our teeeth and have some breakfast!" They went into the bathroom and picked their toothbrushes, cleansing their teeth side by side (and with Yuriy on a chair in order to reach the sink and see himself in the mirror. "All done!" He mused, rushing out of the bathroom but being caught by his dad in time. "Let me check!" He said, grabbing the boys face and squeezing his cheeks to make him open his mouth. "Come on!" He repeated, but his son was as stubborn as his father: he kept his mouth shut and had no intention to let his dad check. "Fine, have it your way." Ed said, letting go with a sigh. The child ran happily ahead of him, but freezed in place after hearing his father add: "but you'll get no desert if you haven't brushed your teeth well." After a moment's hesitation, Yuriy turned back and ran past his father back to the bathroom, brushed his teeth once again and then came grinning to Ed. "That a good boy!" The former alchemist exclaimed after a thorough check. "Now, off to get you some apple pie!" "Yeey!" The kid exclaimed, jumping down the stairs two at a time. He got into the kitchen first, his father right behind him. "Good moring, Winry!" Edward greeted, kissing her shortly and taking the plates out of her hands. The children were already sitting down, Sara in her special baby chair. Winry sat next to her, Ed taking his place at the other end of the table. "Mom!" Yuriy said as they all began eating, making Winry turn her head from Sara. "I beat dad!" "You what?" Asked the parents in unison, the mother with a indulging smile at the father's offensive response. "Just now! I was the first to come down the stairs!" The child answered with a smug face (winry could have sworn she saw his nose grow like Pinnichio's just then). "Wait a minute, I didn't know we were racing!" Ed protested, puting down his fork. "But we always are!" Yuriy pouted, glancing at Sara, who was now playing with her bowl and giggling happily. "Do you think I'd ever lose to you?" Edward replied, with the same smug face his son had used just a few moments ago. Winry could barely keep in a giggle as she witnesed her husband and her son fight. "Mom, didn't I win?!" The boy turned to her with a pleading look, making it that much harder for the mather to keep a straight face. However, she had to play the part. "Well I don't know, I think you did. Weren't you just a step behind, Edward?" She said with a small smile, looking at her husband. "See, see?!" Yuriy spoke with lit eyes. "Hmm... I demand a rematch!" The man crossed his arms, nodding. "Dooooggy!" Sara exclaimed, together with a loud thud. The whole family turned towards the small girl and their jaws dropped: she was now facing a doggy out of wood, standing in the place of the former bowl. And around it... A circle out of food...? "Is that...?" Was all Ed could say before being interrupted by his wife's scream. "What on earth?! Is that a transmutation circle?!" And she then turned with an accusing look to her husband: "Edward Elric, what did you teach our two-year old daughter?!" "I... I didn't...!" He began defending himself, peeking around to see if any crock was nearby. "Awesome!!" Yuriy exclaimed, running to his sister's side! "Sara can do alchemy too!" The two parents looked at him with questioning looks. "She's always around me when I learn, so I started explaining things, the way dad does. She must have been picking them up!" He looked so proud of himself with that bright smile of his... "See, Winry? Not my fault!" Edward defended himself. "I swear, why do we have to have a house full of alchemists..." She slapped her forehead against her palm to hide a small smile, before recollecting herslef and getting up. "But if yoi taught her this, Yuriy, you have to turn that bowl back to how it was now." She scolded him. "That's... Dad, how do you do that?" The boy turned to his dad, pleading. "How should a loser like me know that?" Edward said, getting up as well. "I'm gonna help you with the dish washing." He told Winry. The two locked eyes and smiled mischeviously. "Wait, dad! You win, okay? You won!!" The boy whined, trying to get his dad to help him. "Did I? In that case, maybe I could teach you..." "Please!!!" "But only if you finish your vegetables!" Winry interfered, before leaving the living room with Ed. "Are we raising them properly?" She asked her husband once they were alone in the kitchen, leaning into his frame. "Hmm... Probably not." She shot him a look. "But then, no one does." He smiled softly. "True..."