#I don't know when I'm going to be able to watch the Barbie movie myself so I've been avoiding a lot of spoilers

[marshmallowprotection]

Okay, I finally saw the Barbie movie today, and now I'm thinking about Lila creating all sorts of gorgeous outfits inspired by it 😭 Actually, I'd love to imagine a Barbie movie night for all your cmc's... Who's the most likely one to cry? (Definitely not me, nuh-uh, didn't shed a single tear, wdym)

The Barbie movie is The Lila Aesthetic. It's a bubblegum technicolor pink daydream and it is the moment she's been waiting for. I am so happy to inform you that she would take that movie premiere upon herself and create looks for everybody in the house, regardless of this thing called Post-RAE or Secret Ending. This is her Moment.

Okay. For Minji and Judas, I've got to tell you that she would want to recreate the disco for them. Minji has the legs for a jumpsuit and it would be a waste if she didn't show off those long legs. She's a vision in gold and silver! I'm telling you that! I know you might expect any sporty Barbie for Minji, but that's thinking in smalls when we need to think in large. Minji is a runner, a dancer, put those together and you've got a delightful melody in your hands.

See, Judas is flexible like Saeyoung. It would never be hard to get him to dress in Barbie or Ken's outfits. But, he loves to coordinate and since Saeyoung and Minji would absolutely... go as Barbies, he would gladly settle for that perfect opportunity to be their arm candy... I just have to debate if he would match Minji... or Saeyoung... that's the hardest question to answer.

I think I'm biased as Hell but I want to see Saeyoung as a cowgirl Barbie. Listen. Could I boldly say that I want Saeran in that outfit? I can. I will. But, in the context of this situation, I would say that Saeyoung wants his titties and stomach to show comfortably.

There's... something about Saeyoung in flared jeans! I don't know how else to elaborate here! I think he would be gorgeous! The hot pink brings all the red out of his hair and I just know he'd be the guy who makes a prop gun that shoots a piece of paper out that says "Kiss!"

So. Uh... The key takeaway is to Debate Disco Judas or Cowboy Judas as his fate. Both are equally good opportunities to choose from and you can't go wrong. I'd say think long and hard about whichever one seems amusing and exciting to you and go with it. There is literally no wrong answer here.

The gingham dress is my true love. There is something about it that just screams classic staple Barbie. It's not too much and it's not too little. It is just the right amount of Barbie to feel like Barbie. The accessories are what make it and I'm in love with those light Daisy charms. Lila would love those, too. She loves Barbie as much as I do and it would make her feel giddy to be able to see her reflection in an outfit like that. I'd say she'd go for classic Barbie through and through—

But what does that mean in the situation where GE Saeran or SE Saeran get to be a matching set? You absolutely know what it means. If she's going to be classic Barbie then he's going to be classic Ken. What's more classic than a beach Ken? At least, to me, my view of Ken has always had him as a lifeguard.

I feel like Lila is the only one in the house who consumes Barbie movies. She's going to have to introduce all of them. SHE'S ABOUT TO TAKE THEM ON A TRIP OF A LIFETIME AND I'M GONNA THINK ABOUT THIS ONE. I WANT HER TO CRY OVER THE EARLY 2000s MOVIES AND SHOW SAERAN HER COLLECTION OF DOLLS.

[spacecluster]

I've got something to share about the Barbie movie that I should probably be sharing with a therapist but I don't have one so it's going here instead

I've been seeing so many posts on Tumblr tiktok and on Instagram and just really everywhere about the Barbie movie and how amazing it was, and don't get me wrong I'm not about to say that the Barbie movie is not amazing because it genuinely is. it is genuinely such an amazing movie. what's bothering me is all of the posts of these girls who are like "I miss being a little girl I want to go back to being a little girl" and I was just like watching one of these posts and I was thinking to myself 'God what I would give to be 5 years old again and how much more would I cherish it knowing what I know now, knowing that I don't get to go back' and then I stopped

And I thought to myself

'Okay but lilly,

You don't get to go back

Time as you perceive it

Will only ever move

Forward.

You never get to go back but you're spending all of this time now wishing that you could go back.'

Why are you doing this to yourself? why are you treating the past like it's some wonderful thing and the present has absolutely no potential because you're looking at the past with this lens - and I'm still talking to myself here when I say you - you're looking at the past with this lens of "I would change this if I could go back. I wouldn't waste my time on this. I would do this instead if I could go back to being five." but like

You don't.

You don't ever get to go back. And doesn't that make the present so much better? The gift of the present is knowing what has already happened in the past and being able to look forward to the future, which, as I'm saying it, is kind of the point that I noticed in the Barbie movie now that I'm thinking about it.

And the thing is, I'm spending my twenties wishing I could go back to my teens and I spent my teens wishing I could go back to being a small child. I don't want to be 30 and wishing I could go back to 20 and change all the stuff. Why would I want that when I could just stop living for my teenage self and start living for my 20 year old self so that my 30 year old self has permission and has the time and has the mental space to live for herself because all of the time and the mental space and the energy isn't being stuck on nostalgia and wishing that I had done this that or the other because right now I have the power to choose this side or the other I mean I'm only 22 for fuck sake why why spend another 10 years wasting the time that I have now wishing that I hadn't wasted the time that I had before so that when I get older so that later I just have to waste that time wishing that I had spent this time better

Sorry I'm using text to speech to type this right now but I'm I'm actually I'm going to go out and do something tomorrow. I'm going to go out and do something that I've always wanted to do I don't know what yet maybe. I'm going to go and watch a movie by myself all by myself on my own. I already jumped in a pool fully clothed today cross that off the bucket list. I'm going to go to a movie by myself do I have the money for it? no. do I have a job to recoup money for it? no. am I going to do it anyway? yeah because I only get to be 22 once and then I'll be 23 and I don't want to spend 23 wishing that 22 had been different when I could just make it different now

Oh my God the Barbie movie is so good

Anyway if anyone wants to give me like. A dollar? I guess? Hit me up? Idk it's 3 am I'm gonna go fold my clothes now goodnight

[multifandomfern]

Gotta do some rambling so be warned MAJOR BARBIE MOVIE SPOILERS BELOW!!!

Asdfghhjkl what was that beginning?! 🤣 Giant bathing suit barbie appears let's kill baby dolls in celebration!!!

Love how there's no water. Imagine being the actor and having to pretend to shower and drink. Then later acting like the water that isn't there is too cold, that must've been so weird yet so fun

Ken's job being beach that is so perfect

Barbie being like oh yeah you can come I'm only having a giant party with choreographed dance. Then at the party Ken dances so I guess he and the other Kens are improvising. That would fit well with the Barbie world with the Barbies getting to practice and create their dances while the Kens don't get to.

Forget where it was in the movie but CHEERLEADER KENS

I just saw the movie and I'm already forgetting too much 😭

I'm not going to try putting my thoughts in order anymore

Love the moment where Ken is so happy to get asked the time. It's funny to see but also sad because like he doesn't have respect in his world. But in this world he does and can be trusted with telling the time.

It's a great parallel with Barbie figuring out what not getting respected is like while Ken learn what respect is like. I love how he goes power hungry with it, it's so entertaining while also becoming impactful and meaningful. I love when Barbie apologizes to a crying Ken. It's good to see him cry and to see her recognize every gender should get respect.

THE KEN BATTLE!!!! That was hilarious to see especially when the CEO group walked through. The one guy got shot then later his arm is in a cast I love that

When the girl called Barbie a fascist I'm sorry I couldn't stop myself from laughing at that

The CEO being like oh yeah she's a ghost on that floor lol wasn't expecting to hear that. He's so chill about it too. But I guess a ghost is nothing when you already know all about Barbieland.

So the comedy and messages in this movie are really really good so what about the action? Well that's really good too! I love the scene where Allan fights off the Kens! The part where Barbie is getting chased that's good too! Love when she and the CEO just scream at each other before running off. Then he realizes 😂

While I do wish they had followed up on Barbie and the box, I still think it works well. It shows her not wanting to be trapped and it fits well with what she says later. She says she wants to do things and not just being the idea. Being in the box would be well just being the idea. She would be stuck and displayed as an idea not being able to take any action. So being out out of the box lets her be free and do things which is great.

THE ACTORS ARE ALL AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE SUCH A GOOD CAST 💕

Okay that's all my thoughts for now. When this movie comes out I am going to get it watch it many times and do more analysation because there is so much in this movie to talk about!

[uter-us]

So, this is going to be long but I have a couple of questions and you are so eloquent Ive been waiting to find a radblr as level headed to come to abt this. Essentially in the more recent past I engaged with sex and sexual content for for lack of better explanation just sexual issues from childhood and whatnot and I have been trying so incredibly hard to disengage from anything like those bdsm type situations and relationships. I stopped watching porn, even softcore gif type of stuff and I completely stopped shaving a little over a year ago to distance myself entirely from the sort of young girl fetish. But, no matter what I say or how logical I phrase it (or having actually experienced this dynamic with a man) my friends seem to think things like CNC and other bdsm kinks are okay and help people cope. Which I also thought until I acted on it with men and I realized I was dealing with very sick people who got off on my fear and pain and WILL violate trust in small ways until they're too big to ignore. And what can you do but endure what you've been begging for and participating in? I try and negate the blame because I was young (and sidenote: from the age of 11 or so constantly seeing porn and anime hentai and just weird sexual things so easy to find I feel like I almost never had a chance with my predispositions, but still I chose to engage and so many positivity posts for like ddlg and shit like that were EVERYWHERE when I was a teen, most girls I knew saying they are making OFs as soon as they graduate and just no escape of sex in that way) and inexperienced and a heavy alcoholic along with experimenting with drugs for the first time in my life but I'm still sickened by myself. And the worst part was that I did chose it, and sometimes wanted to go farther than I could handle just out of my own intense self destructiveness and trying to awaken memories I had locked away as a sort of control over my mind but all I did was have new memories to lock away and three years of finding myself and fighting so hard to stop drinking about it. I just want to get through to them so they don't go through the same hurt that I did, especially because a friend I'm thinking of specifically went through much more horrific sexual traumas than I and I don't want her to be lost in it a new kind. Do you have any suggestions? Or even articles or reading that I could show her? I try to pepper in screenshots of radfem posts I see acknowledging it but she is very very Barbie movie liberal feminist. Idk. I just don't want her to go through the guilt and the shame and the horror anew after what she's been through after I did and i don't want her to think I'm attacking her because I know I sometimes come across as aggressive when I'm feeling passionate. I'm just so frustrated and I feel like when I make a very valid point trying to be as neutral emotionally as I can it always comes back to "people can cope however they want" and I know this is kinda repetitive lol but like yeah they can. But you're digging your own emotional grave and I know because I've done that already!!! I feel like a crazed hag yelling on top of a soap box on the roadside when I just want these young women to understand that you don't gain power by throwing yours in the toilet!!!

Thank u reading if u take the time I know this is kind of heavy but I would really appreciate feedback if u feel up to it 💛

hey I'm glad you reached out. everything you said sounds and is incredibly distressing. I can empathize with a lot of what you said; I think we've had similar experiences, and also have similar fears for our friends. you're a really kind person to want to look our for your friends, and I'd definitely like to be able to help you as best i can. I want to preface this though by (and I'm sure you've heard this before but I'll never stop saying it!!) you're not to blame, and you should never feel "sickened by yourself" :( these types of things are awful and complicated, but the fault here is never yours. ♡

suggestions on explaining

sometimes it's easier to instead of sending your friends all of the links, to maybe space it out a bit and (in whatever words you'd use,) be like "hey look what I've been reading" and maybe send the link, and (something I've done is) take maybe 1-2 screenshots of the most important parts of the article, and then also use a highlight tool to mark out 1-3 phrases from each screenshot. ideally, they'd just read the full article (and depending on how your friends are they might!) but at least this way you can ensure they won't zone out on really integral parts, and/or this way they can read the integral parts twice yk? this is j a suggestion on how to give the information, but you can give it however is best for your friends to get it!

i also understand that you've had these experiences, and I don't know if it was hard or easy to come to terms w the reality of bdsm/ddlg/cnc/etc, but for some people its especially difficult. i dont know if your friends have engaged in these things (or if youre aware they have), but "sex positivity" and "don't kink shame" is (as I'm sure you're well aware!) such a huge part of libfem ideology :/ it sucks because that makes it very hard to unlearn. and so, if any of these people you're talking to have had these types of experiences, that could make bdsm-related stuff even harder to unlearn only because (I'm referencing the one specific friend u were talking abt), if she's set on it being a "coping mechanism," it might be like that for her (or she's thinking/justifying trying it in the future). (if that doesn't apply to her, then anyone else you discuss this w it might apply to ! at least this is how it goes ime so it depends).

additionally, depending on how libfem they are, it honestly might serve both of yall better to refer to all of this w unisex words/pronouns, only cuz if your number one goal is their safety regarding this type of thing, i think the fact that the dominant/aggressive role or cnc perpetrator is mostly male, and that the submissive/subservient role or cnc victim is generally female, is a seperate conversation. they might be more open to it that way, but use your best judgement! (once they better understand, a follow up topic could be about why the same group of majority rapists irl (aka males) is the same group of majority cnc rapists in fantasies (aka males), but thats typically a seperate conversation)

OF/porn part

okay so first to tackle the OF part. i know it was brief, but here are j some links j incase + some bdsm stuff but specific to porn

OnlyFans Is Not a Safe Platform for ‘Sex Work.’ It’s a Pimp.

OnlyFans is an experiment in mass grooming

OnlyFans is sex work and pornography — stop calling it ‘empowering’

OnlyFans is just another pimp-led pyramid scheme

"ethical" porn / trafficking personal experience (the "Consider Before Consuming" series is very informative, but a lot is graphic so be prepared)

Ex-Porn Performer Describes What BDSM and Abuse Porn Is Really Like

How Porn Played a Role In My Childhood Sexual Abuse || Barbi’s Story

Jessica's Story: My Life As A Porn Star

What Led Me Into the Mainstream Porn Industry || Alia’s Story

bdsm - suggestions for explaining

now for the bdsm stuff. so for starters, something i hear 24/7 abt ddlg/cnc/etc related stuff is "its just a fantasy!" and i think an easy work around for that is j conceding that its a fantasy, and referring to them as "fantasies." i see a lot of feminists focus (imo) too much time trying to prove they arent just fantasies (and i get that in some scenarios which i will get to in a minute), but generally its just irrelevant. if someone was fantasizing about killing people, we would ofc be concerned. EVEN if that person never went on to kill anyone, it should STILL be of concern (including if they were getting aroused by the violence!). similarly to if someone was fantasizing about having sex w a daughter/kid figure or raping someone, we should be concerned. like if im against people pretending to rape others, and someone says "its just a fantasy," that is a worthless statement because i am literally against that too. i am anti rape fantasy too yk?

also if calling them "fantasies" doesn't feel right, you could also call them "situations they enact" or "situations they pretend to do," and you can even tag on at the end a "that they get aroused from." Depending on the context though, "fantasies" might actually do a disservice in that the term usually implies its just in the persons head, as opposed to something they are actively pretending to do to/with someone.

choking / strangulation

so for example, this work around goes out the window when the "fantasies" arent roles being played, and are instead actions like (the unfortunately common) "choking" or "breathplay" aka strangulation. it would be ridiculous to call this a fantasy or pretend when someone is legitimately blocking your airway and blood to your brain. "we cant consent to this" is a UK based group that (i believe?) started in opposition to the rough sex defense. i like this website because they have ample anecdotes (which the personal aspect can be more convincing for some), as well as actual information and statistics which shows the patterns of abuse. (theres more pages worth reading than j those 2 fyi!!)

this is actually another suggestion for explaining, but (especially for choking) its SO normalized that one of your friends might have even tried it on someone else, or (whats more likely still) one of their partners (specifcally bfs) could have done it to them. im saying this because its important that however you say it, its probably in yalls best interest to make it less of a moral judgement, and more like a "some people dont know this -- even the ones doing it -- but choking is actually dangerous!". if shes had a previous bf who she loved or even just liked, i imagine it would feel so hurtful so hear that what he's done is misogynistic or sadistic. i think something important ive had to learn and apply in my own life is gauging when to be more heavy on the feminist part, and when to be more heavy on the safety part, yk? like i remind myself when i have these conversations irl that some if not most of the time, my goal is to make sure the woman/girl understands why its unsafe and not necessarily why its sexist. (obviously use your best judgement on your friends because for some it IS best to talk abt the misogyny too! it just depends ofc)

CNC and DDLG

okay next. the way this woman explains cnc is well done. i think for cnc, ddlg, or other bdsm related stuff, it makes it easier for some to understand when they focus less on the person playing the victim or child, and shine the light instead on the person playing the rapist or pedo/adult or aggressor. its a real dillema that i think is best explained by this quote that ive been trying SO hard to find but i will paraphrase (and if anyone can lemme know if they know it that would be amazing), but its something like "What pro-BDSM activists require is the idea that there are thousands of men who care deeply about the issues of rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, and physical abuse, and also at the same time are aroused by it." Again i dont remember the quote exactly, but its that same sentiment. and its very true! it also forces you to ask, "why does my boyfriend get hard when i pretend to cry?" or "why does he get turned on when I say 'no'?" i think that even if you are pro- "people can cope how they want," you're still left with the scary realization that the life-long traumatic experiences of victims of DV/SA/CSA could just as easily be fantasies for others, and not just fantasies, but fantasies AS THE ABUSER.

things abusers say to intimidate, or things generally violent people say can and are the exact things people say in BDSM spaces. things victims say to escape (or don't say, like w kinks related to passing out or drugged women), or the actions both abusers and victims do, are also used in those BDSM spaces. its worth noting too that like, where are the these ideas coming from? where are they getting their material for fantasies? its sadly a collection of real experiences. sometimes w "twists," but rooted in real violence nonetheless. what came first, a rape kink or rape? the kink came from the arousal to rape. so what does it say about those two groups (cnc perpetrators and rapists) that they both do similar things, say similar things, and get off to similar things? it says something really scary and concerning, ill tell ya that. (plus they don't even have to say its the SAME thing, but the fact that its so similar isn't enough?)

additionally, where do DDLG ppl get the material/words/phrasing/etc for their fantasies? it comes from imitating children and parent conversation, and then pedo dynamics. they are aroused by pretending to talk to and then have sex w a child. the fantasy isnt something that could never happen; they are getting their fantasies from real people's experiences whether they realize it or not.

for example, i got this anonymous message like 2 weeks ago:

someone could have read that to me and told me it was someone into cnc and degredation or something, and how could i not believe it? if i had to determine if this was either a threat, or a line in someones "healthy" sex life, how would I know? despite the fact that one example of these exact words is used for aggression/malice, its scary that it could just as easily be used for arousal! both people are gaining something (power, control, arousal, pleasure) from the statement, so why would i not question ANYONE who is gaining something from that statement, EVEN when consensual.

i also think, kind of going back to the part about where cnc/ddlg/bdsm people's material is sourced (aka rooted in real rape fantasies, sometimes with "twists" or whatever but the root of it is arousal to rape), something really upsetting and sad is the fact that (for example) if someone is aroused by their gf pretending to cry and fight back in bed, if/when the bf is out and about, chances are at least at SOME POINT in his life, he will encounter a woman who was raped. and so this woman, vulnerable and retelling a moment of distress and trauma, describing her rape (or CSA or DV or torture or other experience) could and has described probably thousands of fantasies, some of which he could have participated in. people forget what a strong conditioning tool an orgasm is. do you think kinky sex with his gf wont even cross his mind, like it wont even occur to him that theyve played through this same event? sadly, of course it will. his brain has been conditioned to associate those descriptions/images/etc with sexual pleasure. thats another reason i can never get behind pro-bdsm stuff (like deny the facts now that im aware of them) cuz the stuff the abuser is imagining/pretending/etc has happened, is currently happening, and will continue to actually happen to hundreds of millions of people.

i also want to talk about your friend saying "people can cope how they want to." i think that response is misguided. id love to know where this originated because it seems so contradicting to the types of people who do say this (ime). cuz like ive seen a lot of libfems talk about mental health problems and addiction, and they are great at recognizing that sometimes things that make you feel good temporarily (like substance abuse, self harm, eating disorders), hurt you in the long run. and notice how the things i listed are also coping mechanisms? like yes people CAN cope how they want to, but we shouldnt encourage or even normalize self-destructive behavior (like the compromising and vulnerable and violent and painful scenes and roles in BDSM). imagine if someone was previously an alcoholic and is now sharing why that was so harmful for them. if someone replied "people can cope how they want to," yea thats a true statement, but that doesnt mean anything to what the person is expressing. they are saying they DID choose to cope how they wanted to, and now they are sharing how harmful that was in order to prevent others from making that same mistake

futhermore, my second point to that "let people cope how they want to" statement, would be the implication that statement suggests. the basis of the statement says that yes, there are people who engage in bdsm-related sex in order to cope with that trauma. but that implies there is also a group of people who take advantage of that in order to get aroused!

(this MIGHT be a time when its worth recognizing the sexist patterns. since female ppl make up the majority of victims of SA, and also the majority of submissive roles in bdsm, and additionally that males make up the majority of perpetrators of SA, and also the majority of dominant roles in bdsm, this could help solidify your case that patterns show what group is most likely to want that dominance/control, and who to get it from. although w this, im sure your friend might bring up "femdom" or dominatrix stuff, and you can look to this short post but if you want further explanation feel free to dm or send another ask, but regardless, thats the minority when it comes to d/s dynamics (hence why its specified its FEMdom, because the standard "dom" doesnt need to tell us its for males, but femdom needs to specify its a woman this time.))

lastly, the WDI is a generally great resource (videos like this one and this one) however I don't suggest at all sharing it w libfem friends cuz (like in both those videos) they include gender critical statements

anyway, hopefully this explanation is helpful, and i hope it goes well with your friend. i appreciate your patience as this took me a few days to get to and finish. i know i didnt cover every base, and theres a lot to be said about this topic, but i hope i sent you in the right direction.

i genuinly am hoping the best for you and your friends. you're a kind person, and I'm glad you were able to reach out. and I'm glad you're cultivating a porn and bdsm -free life! ♡ feel free to dm me anytime.

take sm care and be so safe

[cosmic-kinglet]

OKAY, I'M FREAKING OUT

So, we were promised Earth lore, and we got it! Considering we heard bits of conversation that Earth couldn't have heard, we can assume that this is truly what happened. Based on that, it seems that she really is completely unaware of the real reason she was made, which is a relief. (Unrelated to the commentary, but that might mean that more alternate-timeline memories might be shared soon.) It also appears that her specific fascination with the Barbie movies comes from the fact that those were the movies the creator stocked up on for her to watch, basically keeping her out of the way when he needed to do his private work. SPEAKING OF WHICH-!

SURPRISE TRACHCAN MAN LORE!!!!!!

I'm not even exaggerating when I say I had to pause for at least a minute, if not two, just to calm myself down enough to continue when I saw him walk in! It turns out he's one of the creator's associates, which is genuinely something I never considered for a single moment. It's also apparently because of the creator that he has the trashcan on his head, and it seems like it CAN be removed, but only when the creator decides it should be removed. We now also know that he isn't actually dumb or mentally unstable to any capacity, but I guess the point of him portraying himself that way was so he could get information without any second-thought from whoever is giving the information; they would just think he either wouldn't understand or wasn't even aware of his surroundings enough to listen at all. I still very much want to know how he's able to keep coming back after being killed, but I guess that's something we'll still just need to wait for. I'm seriously going to have to go back through the videos where he appears and see if I notice anything with this new information in mind (Though, I don't think there's anything of particular note in the first couple of instances where he shows up; I've watched those videos, and short clips from those videos, several times over, and nothing stands out as a thing that didn't make sense before but makes sense now. It's all pretty much total nonsense in those videos. So, I'll probably just go back through the ones with KC, since that's a good anchor in terms of knowing which videos to watch.)

I seriously didn't expect to ever get any more lore for Trashcan Man, so I'm just so excited to know that he's still a relevant character and that we probably will be learning more about him in the future!

[droolysub]

1.25.24 - 🎥 soooooo i decided to get my ass all dolled up tonight bc i'm forcing myself to have some overdue FUN 🥁 *drumrolls* ... at a Barbie watch partyyyy! yayayay! *squeals*~

i don't rly know anybody going tbh but i'm there for ✨me✨ anyways. maybe the other girls will be nice(?) who knows!!!! i'm going in with an open heart and happy for multiple reasons: 1. this is a great reason to leave this house 2. i wanted to enjoy the movie and 3. i did things to take care of myself that i wouldn't otherwise do bc i wanted to have as good of a time as possible

i prepared this morning by doing a facial, a hask, enjoyed plenty of black tea (gotta have caffeine to keep me going) and made sure i had no school stuff to worry about 😎 responsible of me, right?

VENT: the people here at the home i share (not family, not friends, just people who don't particularly like me) are angry that i'm actually getting ready to do something(?) and bullying me from a few rooms over by shouting rude comments through the walls... i don't have agoraphobia. they don't know the reason i don't leave the house is bc i'm bedridden most days. they don't even know that i still go to school bc my attendance has dropped so low thanks to my declining health. makes me so angry that they use every opportunity they can to make the lump in me grow from stress hormones (one of them even has cancer herself and i think she just made it her whole personality... you'd think that kind of thing would make a person kinder towards others). they just call it "drama" when i grab my fucking chest and fall to the ground for long periods at a time... it hurts. it's real. if they were safe people, they'd know. but i'm afraid they'd just use that information to hurt me more the same way they have in the past. when i tried to kill myself just a week ago and police, fire and ambulances came - they just got annoyed that i destroyed their peace... my body was literally shutting down and i didn't even want help. it was a concerned classmate who was worried about me who called in a wellness check. i was lucky to be helped that day. the point is, no matter what- i will always be a burden to these people. they will always be racist and hate me for not all the reasons i'm not as white as them. i even bleached my pretty brown hair and stopped eating food that they said was "too stinky". i became their indentures servants and they just continued to patronize me as "the help". not even a housemate and i pay the most in rent! i don't even have a job! they raised it randomly before Christmas in hopes that it would get me moved out or homeless by 2024. they poke fun at me for skipping hospital visits and not being able to rly afford any leisure that costs $. it rly sucks being trapped here and beaten down every damn day

one time they put a picture of my rapist on the fridge and left it for many months to punish me for avoiding them and only leaving my room to eat at night when everybody was asleep. they wanted to set up little cruel pranks like the times they put glass bottles on top of the fridge door to fall and shatter onto my bare feet. i couldn't even eat and lost so much weight bc i couldn't get myself to open the fridge without going into some terrible PTSD attack. over summer they hosted a "Barbie watch party" where they invited all their friends over to literally fucking humiliate and bully me. they knew i loved barbie and couldn't afford to rent it or go see it. they didn't even end up renting the film and the film wasn't even for rent at the time they threw the party. it was just to be fucking cruel and trick me. sorry to vent about them. i just had to after hearing them be so cruel through the fucking walls again... i wish i had earbuds to drown this out but one housemate steal my charging case and now i HAVE to listen unless i want to give them a reason to yell at me by blasting music over their passive aggressive shouting... fuck that kind of hostility...

you have zero idea how happy i am to gooo! i am literally bouncing on my bed just waiting for my ride! is it bad that i kind of want to pregame before going? it would be fun to go a little

the first time i watched this movie, it was a rly bad experience that got completely stolen from me (by the same "nice guy" that chose to disrespect and violate me last night actually).... i kept telling him to keep his hands to himself in the theater and that there were kids around, but he didn't care or rly even listen... it ruined Barbie for me and i cried so much...

he baited me into watching the movie bc he knew it was what i wanted to do more than anything after stalking my blog. i was homeless over summer and that was a chance at a nice cool theater with snacks and Barbie! how could i say no? he said he wouldn't touch me. i trusted him.

fr i am not going to let ANYTHING dull my sparkle this time around, not even if there's no buttery popcorn 🍿✨ and definitely not bc of some fucked up scummy asshole whether it's a p3do creep who has been trying to hurt me since middle school or one of my housecellmates

tonight i am undoing that old, bad time and replacing it with this new, better memory 💓

[gabenvrhappened]

MoviesOr... Asteroid City

Wes Anderson's aesthetic is all over social media nowadays, which is incredible. There's something about directors being able to create a signature look for their work that makes me appreciate what they do even more, even if I haven't watched their movies. Of course, that's not the case with Wes, since I've already watched two of adventures on the big screen: the great The Grand Budapest Hotel and the not-so-good Moonrise Kingdom.

With that, it's safe to assume I went to watch Asteroid City really excited, and I had three mainly reasons. First, this looks like his biggest aesthetic movie so far, as if he has taken it to the next level and embraced his genius and weirdness to the max, which is amazing. Second, Scarlett Johansson is in it, and I love her. Every movie she's in, I'll want to watch — using common sense, of course. Third, the miniatures are another signature of his work that is incredible and needs to be seen on a big screen.

The movie is great and confusing, in a not too complex. Mainly it tells the story of a father traveling with his three childrens to their grandfather's house after a serious event, when they end up strained on the desert where, not only a convention for young kids is happening, but also where a meteorite (or asteroid, if you prefer) once hit and made the place famous.

The meta-language of the movie, play, and reality is incredible, and I really liked seeing the story being told in acts (especially with one of them in black and white) since I'm a theatre kid myself. The downside is that, at least for me, I was always trying to make sense of what I was seeing with thoughts like, "Okay, in what reality of the movie is this happening again?" or "What does this mean with all the context I'm seeing so far?" which can distract you from paying attention to really understand the movie. And, inevitably, it's one of those that you feel like you will understand more if you watch it again, which is a concept I don't like. For me, you have to watch a movie again because you liked it, not because you didn't understand it.

Like Oppenheimer, this movie shocked me by having actresses I didn't know were in the movie, doing scenes I never thought I would see them doing. If in the nuclear physicist movie, Florence Pugh shocked me by being there and being naked — I haven't searched anything from that movie, including the cast, so her being in it was a surprise —, in Asteroid City, the nature of the shocking moments was the same, but divided: first, Scarlett being naked (speaking of it, I really gasped aloud thinking she had killed herself in that scene), and second, Margot Robbie's appearance. Now that was the crossover Oppenheimer needed.

Still speaking about casting, it was the best. It was nice to see again the faces Wes likes to work with, but the kids Anderson chose were the best possible, especially Aristou Meehan. He. Is. Incredible. Sophia Lillis was also a good choice, and I gasped when I realized it was her — she hasn't changed a bit since It. It was like she did that movie only yesterday. Crazy. I could go on and praise Woodrow's actor and his sisters, but then this review would be too long than it already is, but yes, they were great. The whole cast was perfect, which reminds me of Barbie, but for being completely opposite: the actor choices there weren't all that good.

And even with the spoiler of the movie having an alien right at the beginning because of the credits (remember, I don't like knowing too much about a movie and, ion fact, when I was in the theater last week, I covered my eyes and ears when the trailer for this was being shown. I know, I'm weird that way) and the confusion I felt here and there, I really enjoyed the experience of this movie; and I'm a bit preoccupied to admit it, so I left this for the last part, but the best thing about this whole thing was all the roadrunner's appearance. Ergh, such a show-stealing choice. What's up, Wes?

[pbandjesse]

We just got back from seeing the Barbie movie. Where I cried the entire time. It was great. I'm really glad we made it happen.

It was a good way to end this week of camp. It was not a bad week at all. But it was very very hot today and that made the day hard.

I slept okay last night. I found a frog at midnight and followed that for a bit. Looked at the stars. And eventually fell asleep.

I woke up at 6 and was very cold. I had only used the one blanket and my underside was freezing. Which was expected. I got up and wrapped my blanket around myself and fell back asleep.

I woke up at 8 and it was already to warm. I got dressed and tried to feel alright. While I was getting ready I watched a video. And when I was outside brushing my teeth Ty came by to chat. And then I went for a little walk. I did not find mushrooms in the normal places but I did find them in a trashcan near the goats. I pet the goats and went to see the birds. Quakers the duck chased me!! And then I was very hot and the bugs kept hitting me in the face and I just wanted to be back in my fan space.

Which was honestly a big help. I would give Annabelle one of my fans that I haven't been using this year. Hopefully it helped her.

My groups were honestly great today. The woodlands were super fun and all wanted me to teach them bracelets after we played the exquisite corpse game. And they were having so much fun they didn't want to go. Honestly that was a trend today. The kids were just a lot of fun and while we were all got it was just like a joyful day.

Lunch was fine. It was the nicest the kitchen staff has been to me. They made me a fresh tomato sandwich. I put cheese and mayo on mine. And it was good. Love in season tomatoes.

I would have some time sitting in the dark which was excellent and made me feel a lot cooler. Annabelle and Celia would come chat in the dark for a bit, since I left the doors open. And it was just chatting about ideas and groups and the weather.

The afternoon was very warm. So doing metal casting was a little tough but we had some excellent results and it was fun!! And there was more bracelet making. I'm surprised it took this long this summer for it to catch on with the boys but it's been nice.

James and me made our plan to go to the movies at 630. So I let Heather know I wouldn't be able to help at the bears. Which is sad because I love helping st the bears. But I was excited to see a movie with my husband. We have gone to more plays then we have movies. So this was a fun treat. And I was very much looking forward to the Barbie movie.

In my last day camp group the kids were fun. Louisa and her friends helped set up the table for next week. Which is sock puppet making! Which I think will be fun but I'm a little nervous about. But the girls seemed jazzed about it so I have high hopes.

I got my stuff packed up and as I was about to drive away Ty comes running, literally running, towards the car. And I'm like??? Butbhe was returning my yarn and was like why you leaving? I told him about the movie and that the building was open and we said goodbye see you.on Monday!

It was a fine drive. I had a snack with me and waved at all the kids as I left. It was a half hour to home. Almost no traffic. And I got home in one piece.

It was stupid hot here though. Much warmer then at camp. I was happy to see my James but hugging was almost out of the question. Shower first.

I washed my hair and shaved my legs and it helped me feel way more human. I put on my pink outfit. I don't own much pink but I'm happy with what I picked. I felt very cute.

We drove to the rotunda to go to our movie and have our little French fry dinner at a place called the local fry. James and me had a big laugh when we discovered that the phone cord was closed in the door but still worked! That poor cord has been through so much.

We got to the fry place. James had ordered ahead. They got a banh mi and I got seasoned fries with cheese and ranch and a whole half an avocado. I really enjoyed it.

Me and James would split and they went to put leftovers in the car and I went to go to the Walgreens for candy but the Walgreens closed??? Like permanently! Crazy. So no candy for me.

But we headed to the theater. I loved seeing everyone dressed up for the movie. I like that it's an experience. I was a little confused about this theater. No one checked out tickets? We just waited on the hall until they let us in.

The seats were very comfy but I didn't like how close we were to the screen. I was nervous about feeling nauseous but after the trailers it wasn't a problem. Thankfully the movie didn't have a ton of quick motion.

I loved the movie. I was crying almost immediately and by the end I was sobbing. Like there were parts I didn't love as much or would have liked to be expanded on more. But mostly it was so good. I loved the 4th wall breaks and the breaking of the narrative and Margot Robbie did such a wonderful job. I honestly felt so connected to her and it helps that we are the same age. Or at least very close to the same age, her being born on 1990 and me in 1991. I was super invested and I was just. Having the best cries.

The girls next to us were also great. The one directly next to me also was crying. And at the end she said she was glad she wasn't the only one and that the last time she saw it (this was her second time) the person next to her didn't cry and she was a little embarrassed. But no I was right there with her and I told her about how I make art about toys and how someday I want to do a doctorate and research and write about toys and gender relations and she was so funny she was like this movie was perfect for you you are the coolest person and it was just such a sweet moment. I love women, I love girlhood, and I love how much we are all connected.

James says they liked the movie but I think they were more focused on how much I cried. It was a good cry, like it was deep feelings for me. I'm glad they were there for me and with me.

We got out of the theater and it was raining. It was pretty clear that it has stormed very bad while we were in there. There were chairs and tables and trees toppled over. We were safe in Barbie land.

We got home and I immediately got changed. I fed the frog. I pet Sweetp. I opened some mail. And now I am just in the AC. I am very tired but I am just happy to be home and with my husband. I love them so much.

Tomorrow I have a busy day. With the market and then a graduation party and then making sure James and the camp boys get to the game safely. If the game is still happening, if there is a storm or not. I hope it is a good day. I hope you all have a good night and are staying safe.

Goodnight everyone. I love you all.

[jessiicaroseee]

Being a woman is beautiful.

I watched the new Barbie movie, written and directed by Greta Gerwig, and it couldn't have captured the essence of femininity more perfectly. 5 days after release, here are my thoughts:

Going into the film I expected to experience a fantastical, over-the-top depiction of Barbie where I would be greeted with a light-hearted story. Instead, whilst also laughing at the absurdity of all the Ken's, I was hit with a wave of emotions in reaction to the didactic message which tackled the hardships of womanhood. Greta Gerwig cleverly incorporated hard-hitting topics relevant to females in a blanket full of light pink, mojo dojo casa houses and beach offs. This movie also emulated the beauty of girlhood and what it means for a mother to watch that blossom (and also be tarnished by men).

What really hit home for me, and probably for most women reading this, was when Barbie entered the real world and was instantaneously hit with ludicrous catcalls, a man groping her and members of the police not taking her seriously; all because of her looks. Oblivious to what was happening to Barbie and how uncomfortable she was, Ken of course enjoyed nothing but respect. It was Barbie's reaction to what was going on around her that pulled on some heartstrings as she was left confused and overwhelmed: the real world is clearly not the same as Barbieland, where women live in peace. Ultimately, it made me ponder on catcalling in our society and how it's one of the examples of how our girlhoods first experience a tarnish made from men. As women, we should be able to freely walk (or roller blade) down the streets without feeling like we're being looked at or being called horrible names regardless of what we wear and how we look. It. Should. Not. Matter.

I also want to shed light on America Ferrera, who played Gloria, and her heart wrenching monologue which beautifully captures how impossible it is to be a woman. Some of my favourite lines include:

"we always have to be extraordinary, but somehow we are always doing it wrong"

"You have to answer for men's bad behaviour which is insane, but if you point that out you are accused of complaining"

"I'm just tired from watching myself and every single woman tie themselves into knots so that people will like us"

"if all of that is true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know"

As the cinema fell silent during this scene, I looked around to see everyone wearing pink including myself and realised that we are all connected. We have all felt the same pain Gloria expresses. We all just need the love that heals us from that pain. At this point, I completely broke down into tears where I grasped how institutionalised misogyny is in our society; we know it's there, but not many care that it's an ever lasting problem. Of course we have gained more rights as time has progressed but clearly it is not enough as Greta Gerwig has shown. Yes, I am proud to be a woman but I am not proud of its hardships and the male audience that has watched Barbie has only seen a glimpse of what it's like.

Speaking of men, I cannot go without mentioning the meaning behind Ken which was effortlessly played by Ryan Gosling. He perfectly captured the dopiness of Ken which was incredibly hilarious however I wasn't expecting Ken to be depicted as a villain. In the film, Ken's adventure in the real world consists of discovering the patriarchy and how men have power rather than women unlike Barbieland; he understands how he can gain purpose. Unsurprisingly, Ken (like any other man who tries to gain power) takes over Barbieland and makes it a Kendom. He completely ruins what all the Barbies have worked for yet it's excused as his overwhelming love for his Barbie, wonderfully played by Margot Robbie. This triggered my second breakdown when after all of Barbieland is restored, Barbie is still obliged to apologise to Ken and helps him to find his purpose without Barbie. If this isn't a true depiction of the real world then I don't know what is. In no way was Ken's downwards spiral concerning the meaning of his existence Barbie's responsibility. He could've built a separate world to Barbieland which would instigate equality between the lands, but he had to ruin Barbie's creation for his own enjoyment. This is exactly what it's like to be a woman today. We have to apologise for men's behaviour. We have to tell the truth but if it's not the truth that men want to hear then we're deemed as bitches. Is that fair? The answer is resounding: no.

Despite having the impossibilities of a woman being hurled at you left, right and centre, one can clearly see that being a woman is beautiful at times. Through the interaction with Barbie and an old woman where she calls the woman beautiful. Through the montage of all the videos of the female cast when they were young with Billie Eilish's song 'What Was I Made For'. And of course through Gloria and her daughter Sasha rekindling their relationship, all of these are moments that we imitate in our lives that what makes being a woman so precious. So, Barbie is not just about the hardships of being a woman. It's about being a mother, experiencing a girlhood and being surrounded by those you love. Tarnished by men and their nature to get what they want out of us, we forget about the beautiful things that make us who we are and those precious memories that follow with it.

I will definitely be watching Barbie again as it has taught me many valuable lessons which will aid me to navigate through life as a woman. This film is definitely an Oscar worthy performance.

[nocturnalswarehouse]

I was tagged by both @thequeenofthewinter and @blossom-adventures. Thank you both!

Relationship Status: Single

Favourite Colour(s): Pink, but specifically a pink that's a mix between Barbie pink and dusty rose. I can't totally describe it, but I have a travel mug that's the exact colour

Favourite Food: Uhhhhhhhhhh, good question. This constantly changes, I'm a big foodie. I will say my favourite cuisine is Korean.

Song Stuck in My Head: Nothing atm, but I've been on an Anastasia (the Broadway musical, not the Disney movie) hyperfixation lately.

Last Thing You Googled: Whether or not Carly Shay and Freddie Benson are end game or not. I'm watching the iCarly reboot and just got to the episode where they faked a relationship.

Time: 7:36pm

Dream Trip: PERU PERU PERU. I've been wanting to go since grade 4 and I have not been able to shut up about it. I LOVED learning about Inca mythology and I want to go learn more about it in its birthplace.

Last Thing You Read: A reading for class. Some experimental essay thing that was interesting, but confusing to follow.

Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: It's been MONTHS since I've read for enjoyment over school. And I don't remember the last book I read, but I LOVE They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera. It's the saddest book I've ever read, and such a beautiful story.

Favourite Thing to Cook/Bake: Literally any cookie. My friends are obsessed with my matcha chocolate chip cookies, I make chai chocolate chip cookies using my family's chai spice, and since the holidays are approaching, I'm getting ready to bake eggnog cookies!

Favourite Craft to do in Your Free Time: I don't have a specific craft that I do in my free time, as in my free time I normally focus on media I need to catch up on (yes, need XD if I'm to go into the film industry I have to keep up). But when I absolutely can't focus and need to do something, I'll find a garment of mine that needs mending (currently have a pant leg I need to mend, but I can't find my thread and it's driving me nuts).

Most Niche Dislike: Okay, so I work in a kitchen and absolutely hate it; I'm hoping to switch to Front of House soon (I know I am for sure, I just don't know when). You must continue cooking one of the dishes I make until the sauce is thoroughly soaked into the noodles. Most of my coworkers, when helping me on my station (we've been getting slammed on panfry lately, to the point where I'll get 10 dishes at once, and the menu launch stresses me out), will shut off the stove and plate when there's so much sauce it almost looks like a ramen. I absolutely HATE that.

OH! Also, when someone doesn't tuck in their chair at a table. I got that from a summer camp I went to for three years where we had to tuck our chairs in or the supers (supervisors) would get mad.

Opinion of Circuses: If it's Cirque Du Soleil? I absolutely LOVE it. If you don't know, Cirque Du Soleil is a cruelty-free circus where all the performers are trained gymnasts, dancers, and musicians. I love going to the shows, and I've seen most of the travelling shows. I've seen a few that are set in specific locations (Mexico, Disneyworld). The one I want to go to the most is "One," the Michael Jackson Cirque in Las Vegas.

Do You Have Any Sense of Direction: I like to call myself a "human navigator." If I've been there enough, I know exactly where to go. In a mall back home, I'm the GPS because I know where every store is. If I've never been there, you want me to have the map because I can quickly figure out maps to real life.

[drea-exclusives]

Week 7 — What Was I Made For?

The perfectionist in me has struggled for a while in figuring out a theme for this week's entry. But I've finally decided to just word dump and write out everything that's been on my mind lately without giving it too much thought, in hopes that it will bring me some peace.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

This week has been a tough one, many thoughts have been flooding my mind as I've spiralled into existential crises throughout the week. I think it's just a combination of starting to get stressed out from uni and life; it's as if all the thoughts and feelings I've pushed to the back of my mind have started to unravel, making me realise I've been neglecting this part of myself because life has to go on.

From feeling suffocated due to the monotony of life and my environment, to feeling lost and as though I'm running behind compared to everyone else, to struggling with my self-worth and who I am, it's been a restless week. I feel like I've been going back and forth, fighting myself and questioning if I'm actually going through a rough patch or if it's all in my head. Most of the time, I'm able to come to some sort of conclusion and adopt a mindset that can bring me comfort and help me move forward, but this time I'm struggling to figure out what to tell myself or take away from the situation to feel at least a little more at peace.

In the midst of going through this phase, the Oscars took place where Ryan Gosling hilariously (and phenomenally) performed "I'm Just Ken", and the theme song of the Barbie movie, "What Was I Made For?" won the award for Best Original Song. These events suddenly brought me back to last year when the world collectively healed through the Barbie movie with its significance of girlhood and going through the motions of life.

I re-watched a few clips of the movie and they hit so close to home this time; I related on another level because I was essentially in that era of wandering, feeling lost, and trying to figure myself out. A line that hit particularly hard was when Barbie said that she didn't really know where she belonged anymore, summing up how I felt in this instance; unsure about the direction of my life because I don't feel like the same person I used to be anymore.

A few close friends have consoled me in the past few days, reminding me that it was okay to feel lost and go through tough moments like these, and that they were there for me. And sometimes that's enough to comfort you even in the tiniest bit; knowing that others are supporting and rooting for you, so you should take it easy and show yourself some grace as well. So that's how I'll go about it in the days to come, taking things one step at a time and not worrying too much about the future or things that are out of my control. This season, just like every other, will inevitably pass. Things will get better again, so for now I just need to hold onto hope, show myself some empathy as I would to others, and look forward to the days when I will bloom once more.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Song of the Week! This song expresses in words the feelings I have about not knowing where I fit in or where my life is going sometimes. I've found comfort and consolation through this song in the times I've felt lost or experienced the lows that come after a high. It gives me hope in moments of uncertainty that I won't always feel this way, as it is momentary and somehow, I will figure it out and start again.

[marchtomydrums]

In the beginning 6

Alex Cabot X Casey Novak X Reader

Alex’s POV:

Today has been extremely long and I’m ready to go home. Walking into my office I see you sitting on the couch crying.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Your headshot up at my voice quickly drying your tears.

“Alex, sorry I thought you’d be in court. I just came in here for privacy.” You stuttered.

“Why are crying?” I ask sitting across from you holding your hands in mine. You shake your head “Jack fucking railed my ass today. He doesn’t think I’m cut out for this.”

Anger spikes in my body. How dare he? Seeing you hurt and crying because of his words pissed me off.

“I’ll kill him.”

“No Alex, I have to deal with this on my own.”

“But he’s wrong. He doesn’t see you every day as I do. You can do this y/n. He’s full of shit.”

You chuckle at my words squeezing my hands.

“Well, I appreciate that Alex but again I have to do this on my own. I just came in here to be alone. They’re vultures out there.”

“Yes, I’m all too aware. Either way, don’t let Jack or anyone else cause you to doubt yourself. Take it in stride and keep fighting. Understand me?”

“Yes. Thank you.” You lean in to hug me and I kiss the top of your head. As you pull back I can’t stop myself from taking your lips into mine. I don’t stop until my lungs burn for air regretfully I pull away. You lean your forehead against mine our breath mingling together. You stayed like that for a while until you calmed down.

“ Sorry.” You mumbled quietly to me as if you were embarrassed.

“It’s okay. We all have bad days.” I tell you.

“What time is it?”

“7:30 why?”

“Shit! I missed the bus. I’ll have to wait for the one at 9.”

“I can take you home or you can come back to the house with me.”

“I would but I have an appointment tomorrow and the office is closer to my apartment.”

“Okay, well I’ll drive you home.”

“It’s out of your way. I’ll be fine.”

“You think I’d leave you here?” I ask you.

“Get your stuff, I’ll drive you home.”

The drive there is quiet. I keep looking between you and the road trying to see if I can read your expressions. As we pull up I notice it’s not a very good neighborhood.

“This is where you live?”

“Yes.”

I put the car in park as you quickly lean over to peck my cheek and try to exit the car.

“Wait!” I say tugging your arm. You stop to look at me.

“Can I come up?”

“Do you want to?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. This place doesn’t really seem like your scene.”

I chuckle “let’s go up.”

Walking into the apartment I notice how small it is. The layout is similar to a studio and I’m sure you pay an arm and a leg for it.

“Well, this is it?”

I take a minute to look around. Even though it’s small you’ve made it cozy. My eyes are drawn to the photos on the wall.

“These are beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

I stop to see the blush across your face.

“Wait. Did you take these?”

“Yeah. “

“Y/n these are really good.”

“It’s just a hobby.”

I smile at you as I continue to look around.

“You have a nice book collection. You read a lot?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. This your siblings?” I question holding the framed picture.

“Yeah, two sisters and my brother.”

“You close?”

“Yeah. But I don’t really see them much since I moved.” You say sadly.

“Umm, you should go. Casey is probably wondering where you are.”

“Casey’s visiting her mom tonight. I already told her where I was. She said she was going to call you later on.”

“Oh.”

“But if you want me to leave I can.”

“No.! I just I don’t know Alex, I don’t know how to do this with you.”

“Do what?”

“This! I mean one minute your nice and you want to spend time with me and the next you’re tearing my head off. I don’t know what to do here.”

I’m quiet for a minute processing what you just said. Mentally kicking myself for making you feel this way. Why can’t I just open up to you? Why do I feel like I need to be on guard all the time? I look over to see you watching me.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying. That’s why I came up here. I want to know more about you. I want to have what you and Casey have. I keep fucking it up.” I breathe out heavily.

“Alex, you don’t have to try so hard. I get being guarded but like I’ve said before I won’t make Casey choose. You really need to figure out what you want.”

“I want you.”

“Well, your actions speak louder than your words Alex,” you tell me as you're about to walk off. I grab your arm stopping your escape leaning in to kiss you gently on the lips.

“I want you,” I whisper against your lips. I can feel your smile.

“Let's watch a movie. And ill stay the night if that's okay.” I ask you trying to prove to you that I want this to work. You nod your head yes and we do just that. As much as id love to touch you and kiss I refrain. I want you to be ready and sure before we do anything. I want to be able to love you the way Casey loves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today has been rather quiet around the office much to your surprise. Alex has you copying some documents and running flies from here to there. You're about to head back to your desk when you see Casey standing across the room. You walk up beside her and lean over to see what she's looking at. There's a girl in Alex’s office, she is young and pretty. The two are laughing as they talk oblivious to the world around them.

“Whose that?”

“Emma something, she wants a job here.”

“And flirting with Alex is going to help her to get it?” I ask Casey jealousy evident in my voice.

Casey chuckles “I guess she thinks so.”

“Hmmph.”

“Yup. I'm just watching.”

The two of you watched as Alex and Emma talked. Emma must be a comedian the way Alex is laughing. You roll your eyes at the laughter that rolls out of Alex’s chest. Casey seems indifferent about it until the girl's hand is on Alex’s shoulder. Her body tenses up for a moment.

“You know if she gets this job she’ll be

Alex’s right-hand man. You will answer to both of them. “

“So you're telling me I not only work for the Ice Queen but Malibu Barbie as well?”

Casey laughs “that's a good one! We should call her that.”

You roll your eyes at Casey as Alex and Emma are walking out of the office. You both smile at the girl as she walks by before making a beeline to Alex’s office.

“Can I help you two or do you just like watching me work?” Alex asked looking between the two of you.

“Does she work here now?” you asked sharply. Alex is taken back by your attitude and is quiet for a minute.

“Yes, she does. She starts tomorrow.”

“Hmmph. “

“Is there a problem?”

“Nope. Not at all. Do you need me?”

“Uhh no. You can take lunch if you want. I figured the three of us would go out.” Alex says looking at Casey for some sort of explanation.

“I’m actually meeting my brother he's in the city for two days. So I'll see y'all later,” you say walking out the door. Alex looks over at Casey shocked.

“What the hell was that about?”

“You were flirting with Emma.”

“No, I wasn't!”

“Looked that way to us.”

“So you're mad at me too?”

“Nah, you know better than to cheat on me.”

Casey tells her nonchalantly. Alex chuckled shaking her head as Casey walked out of the office swaying her hips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a week since Emma started and she's already on your last nerve. When she's not asking you to go fetch her coffee she's talking to you about how hot Alex is. You've already told Casey to get the bail money ready because you are about to lose it on Emma. Casey assured you that Emma isn't Alex’s type however, Alex hasn't said a word to you about it. All day long they spend talking to each other and laughing. Meanwhile, Alex barely pays you any attention unless it's to run files or get coffee.

It's late in the afternoon and almost everyone has gone for the day. Casey left early to stay with her mom for the night and you are supposed to be riding home with Alex. However, Emma is still in there talking her up. Finally, Emma is leaving but not before talking to you.

“Your still here?”

“Yup, I'm here when Alex is here so.”

“Oh yeah. She's great isn’t she?”

“Yup. She's something alright.”

“Do you know if she's dating anyone?”

“What?!”

“Alex. Is she seeing someone?”

You're looking for the words but it seems that Malibu Barbie has rendered you speechless.

“Umm.”

“I think I might ask her out. She's hot, god I bet she's good in bed too.”

Emma is going on and on and all you can do is just stare at her in disbelief.

“Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow bye. “

You sit there for a minute replaying her words in your head. Jealousy taking over your body. You shot up out of your chair and into the office slamming the door behind you. Alex jumps at the noise looking at you confused. She called your name but you ignore her as you make your way behind her desk. You pull her up on her feet and kiss her. Your tongue demanding access in her mouth. You grab her ass pulling her closer to you Alex moans in your mouth. You pull back with your lungs burning for air. You look up at Alex who still has her eyes closed.

“Your mine,” you tell her pulling her body into yours.

“I never said I wasn't,” Alex says confused.

“Emma wants to ask you out. She thinks you are hot and good in bed.”

“Well, she's not lying.” Alex chuckled.

“Your mine,” you growled.

Alex looks at you with a smile, her eyes are a darker shade of blue.

“I'm yours,” Alex says nodding her head as she leans in to kiss you once more. This kiss is slower this time. Pulling back you rest your forehead onto Alex’s trying to catch your breath.

“I want you, Alex.” you barely whisper.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Y/n if this is about Emma I promise you that was never going to be a thing. I'd never do that to Casey or You. “

“I know that. It just pissed me off that she was thinking about you like that.”

“So we don't have to do this if you aren't ready. I don't want you to feel obligated or regret it.” You smile at Alex’s words seeing just how sweet she could be. Brushing her hair behind her ears you can’t help but stare at her.

“You’re so beautiful.” Alex blushes at your comment.

“I want you and I know that if I changed my mind you’d still hold me tonight. But I want you Alex. I need you.”

Alex leans in to kiss you again grinning from ear to ear.

“Let’s go home.”

[kooktaebear]

If Only I Knew

Status: ONGOING (this is my first AU AHHH I’m excited to write the next couple of parts, but I hope this story gets a lot of love :~>)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Y/N abruptly moved to Seoul after spending 21 years living alone in her hometown, Busan after the death of her parents. She now discovers through her best friends that drama can be a lot to handle, but as she starts to meet new people, she discovers that she had completely forgotten an important part of her past.

Warnings: mention of guns, blood and violence,

Genre: angst, WHOLE LOT OF FLUFF, slow burn

Word Count: 3.2k

Part One:

I step out of the bus and a gust of cold wind hits my face as I board the train. Why did I think of not wearing enough layers in the middle of winter? I take my seat and look out the window to see the number of people who are about to board the train. I grab my phone and start listening to ILYSB. I like LANY, their music is perfect for travel.

I know this isn't such an interesting event in my life since I know that many other people have flown to see Seoul, capital of Korea but hey, give me a break. I’m finally going to meet my best friends after living alone for 4 years. This is what pays to be travelling, a provincial girl like me? I doubt I would ever survive the city life.

As a 2 hours pass, I wake up to hear the advisory that I’m about to reach Seoul.

I look out the window, close my eyes, and whisper.  

"Mom, Dad, I made it to Seoul."

I lost both my parents during a hostage that happened in our own home. My mom happened to answer the door and was shot first. The culprit saw me and asked me to go get my dad. At first I was confused, but it so happened that there was an issue with the family business and this guy was after the money. I was 13 at that time but I still couldn't figure out why something like this had to happen to our family. However, as soon as my dad had agreed to the terms of the killer, he pointed his gun at me and pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the pain that comes next but instead, I felt warm liquid on my hands and felt something heavy fall on me, it was my dad. I screamed at the sight of both my parents suddenly vanishing from this world, a sudden pain struck my chest and I couldn't breathe. I fall to the ground slowly losing my vision as I see the blue and red lights of police cars approaching my house.

"Miss? Are you okay miss?" the person right next to me calls my attention and brings me back to reality, "Oh, yes I'm fine. Have we arrived?" I look around to see almost everyone out of the train. "Would you need any help getting off? Are you new to the city?" the lady asks me. I shake my head and give her a smile as I head down the aisle to the exit.

I follow the rest of the passengers to exit the station as I turn my phone on to contact Jennie and Lisa, my two best friends. Their parents had offered to get us three an apartment we could all share just so that they could both keep me company. Lisa and Jennie aren't sisters if you were wondering, they just had agreed to live under one roof with me and I'm eternally grateful for that. Not to mention they’re idol trainees.

"Y/N?" I turn my head to see Lisa's straight black hair, "Lisa!!!" We both jump around and giggle, "Wait but where's Jennie?" "Oh, she's getting us another cab because your arrival got delayed." She helps grab my luggage and we both start catching up with each other, as if we’ve never spoken in weeks. This was the first time I had ever seen both Lisa and Jennie in person, all our moms were best friends when they were younger too but since we couldn't visit them often, we met and talked through video calls.

"Well if it isn't our beautiful foreign friend Y/N." I turn around and meet Jennie’s eyes, "JENNIE!!!" I run to hug her and Lisa joins in and I finally don't feel alone anymore. "Girls, the cab is waiting outside, we better hurry." On our way to our new apartment we were all catching up with each other as if we really didn't talk as much already. "Oh hey, Y/N you have to make sure that you're ready to go to school by 7am okay?" Jennie cheerfully said. I was so confused, school started at 8am so why would I have to be ready an hour before school when our place was literally like 10 minutes away. "Wait why do we have to be ready an hour before school? I know our place is like 15 minutes away from school. It's not like you guys take that long to fix yourselves up right?" Lisa and Jennie smiled at me suspiciously, "Well....Y/N you know, you may not know everything about us yet..." "What's there not to know? I've known you guys since the moment I was able to talk." Lisa elbowed me softly, "We’ve got new friends! Like actual men type of friends." My eyes opened wide despite the tiredness I've been experiencing,

How could these two end up befriending guys and just suddenly "forgetting" to tell me about it when they know and are fully aware that we all don’t normally interact with the opposite gender?  

"Fine, I'll be ready by 7am on Monday." I say as I roll my eyes, "YAYYY I'M SO EXCITEDDD!!!" both of them scream.

Ugh, 30 minutes have just passed since I arrived in Seoul and I'm already experiencing stress.

As soon as we got off the cab, both my friends had rushed to bring down all my belongings so that I could finally take a look at the place we rented out. Jennie reaches her hand out to me and in her palm, my key to our place. "Hey, have you guys figured out how we'll be getting to school on Monday?" Jennie giggles, "Y/N, you’re lucky we attend the same school. But the guys will pick us up! Plus..they promised to bring Jungkook." Jennie winks at me and flashes me her brightest smile.

Jungkook? I know I've heard that name somewhere, but I just can't remember where.

"We're here!!" The elevator door opens, "Apartment 735" I mutter to myself. I walk along the brightly lit corridor. "732....733...734..." I continue counting, "735!!" The girls rush to my side, "Y/N, this is your first time in our apartment, so you'll have the honor of opening the door with your key" Lisa says with a smile. I reach out for my keys, close my eyes and take a deep breath before turning the key to unlock the door. I hear the light switch turn on and I open my eyes. The apartment was beautiful. I walk in to see the kitchen, it has a small island where I could serve meals to my friends. I honestly enjoy cooking to relieve myself from whatever stresses me out, whether it be school, people or something about football. I’ve loved sports for as long as I can remember but it gets frustrating since I could be quite competitive.

I walked into the next room and I saw our living room, there was a large L-shaped sofa sitting in front of a huge television. In between the sofa and TV, I saw a small wooden table that is most probably multipurpose as being both a study desk and a place to put our snacks when we binge on shows during our free days. Beside the sofa I see a balcony that showcases a beautiful scenery of the city. I walk out and feel the cold breeze on my cheeks, I look up to the sky and I see that the sky had a welcoming gift for me as well. The stars greeted me as they shined brightly upon the night sky and I just can't help but admire the night sky. To my right, I see a bean bag that fits 2 people. I plop down to the bean bag and stargaze for a while.

Mom? Dad? I know you can hear me, I promise I'll make you proud, I'll succeed here in Seoul and become a great doctor.

"Y/N?" I snap back to reality and see Jennie’s head appear, "You haven't even seen your room yet! Come onnnnn!!" I stand back up and follow the girls in another small hallway, there I see 3 doors. "So basically, it's not that we don't want you to have your own room but we wanted one room to be our sort of walk-in closet because I mean who has not dreamed of having one?" I open the first door I see and the place is indeed full of clothes. There were 3 closets in the room, each of the closet doors have our first name initials on it to indicate who owns which closet. I laugh at my best friends, we all enjoy watching all those Barbie movies where they have spectacular closets and I guess you can say that this is the closest we can get to our childhood dreams.

I walk out of the room and take a few steps into the hallway. Lisa rushes to get past me and hold the doorknob, "Okay Y/N, this room is a little different. I know it's not really our style whatsoever but we created a study room." I scrunch my eyebrows, "A study room? Really now? For all of us or for me?" Lisa tucks a stray hair into her ear, "Well, more for you than for us since we know how hard you work and how much more you'll be working to get into med school. But it's a double purpose for a practice room for us too!" I take a step back to look at both my best friends and their grinning faces,

What did I do to deserve these two psychos in my life?

I call them in for a group hug, "You guys, I know you want to make me feel like there's nothing missing anymore in my life and I love you guys for that. I hope you all still remember I'm not a robot though and even if I'll be working hard to get into med school, I'll still be around to party and experience what any normal teenager should be experiencing." I hear Jennie sniffling at my right, "Aw Jen" I rub her back soothingly, "We know that Y/N, we just want the best for you too. We'll always be here rooting for you any time." We all take a step back, "Okay!" Lisa says, "Guys, it's our first night in our own apartment and we're already crying." Everybody laughs, "So I guess this last room is our room?" "It sure is." Jennie opens the door and I see three twin beds side by side. Just like our "walk-in closet" our first name initials are hanging above our head, brightly lit to recognize who owns which bed. I see my initial on top of the bed that lies in between both Lisa and Jennie's.

I drop my luggage off at our closet area and plop back down into the bean bag on the balcony. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.

This is the start of my new life.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Take my hands now, you are the cause of my euphoria"

I woke up to the sound of Euphoria, my favorite song in the whole wide-

"WHEN I’M WITH YOU I'M IN UTOPIA"

And of course, the voices of my two best friends singing their hearts out and getting the lyrics messed up.

"Y/N!!! Come on!! It's your first day of school. Did you forget about our breakfast plan?"

Right. Their so-called "breakfast plan" before school. I stand up from my bed and stretch a little before I start making my bed. I stop by the closet first and pick my outfit for today, I pick out a tied crop top, white sneakers, and jeans. I grab my bathrobe and head to the bathroom. I step into the shower and play some music that would help wake me up and get ready for the day. As I continue to wash my hair, I hear a knock on my door, 

"Y/N! Are you done?!!" 

I roll my eyes. Jeez, they finally got themselves guy friends and now they're going crazy about finishing on time. I wrap a towel around my head to dry my hair. I head back to our dressing room and open my luggage. As I look for my blow dryer and straightener, Lisa barges into the room, 

"Y/N Y/L/N, you seem to be too relaxed this morning. You have 30 minutes left to get ready and if you're not ready by then I'm going to drag you to the car." "Don't worry Jen, I'll be done on time. Now can you please stop bothering me so that I can start dressing up?"

I quickly blow dry my hair and put it up in a messy bun. With the remaining time left, this is the best I can do to tame my natural curls. I look at myself in the mirror and check to see if something is missing. I reach out to get my makeup bag and I put on a little blush and add a little lip tint. I search through my accessory bag and look for my small stud earrings. I get my glasses from the table and look at myself in the mirror once more. I'm ready for my first day of school. I leave the dressing room and meet my best friends in our kitchen. 

"Oh my goodness Y/N, let's go! We're already 5 minutes late." I grab the schoolbag I prepared last night before heading to bed and leave the apartment. We head to the basement by elevator since Lisa got her license just recently. "Wait Lisa, if you had your license already by the time you picked me up, why did you guys use a taxi to pick me up?" "Oh, uh..I was too lazy to drive that late at night so I just got us a taxi." She starts the car and we head to the exit.

It was my first time ever seeing Seoul in the morning light, the sun hit the skyscrapers so beautifully that it was as if the city was welcoming me as their new citizen. Numerous cars were already out by the time we hit the road because of the rush hour most of them were experiencing. Our school, Seoul National University was just 10 minutes away, our apartment was located a couple blocks away As I was looking out the window, I saw some sort of diner come into view. It looked huge for my definition of a diner since I always saw diners as small joints made for meals, but this diner was different. As Lisa pulled up in the parking area I could see a little bit of the inside, students like us were dining in there as well and there seemed to be a game room on the other side of the dining area.  It's around mid-February so the breeze was still cool, Busan was a little warmer during the winter so I had to find a way to adjust to the cooler weather in the city. As my friends and I make our way to the entrance, I notice three heads that turn our way. As we enter the diner however, the smell of freshly made bread, waffles, and eggs hits me and I feel my mouth water. I've been starving and I couldn't wait to try whatever the diner had been serving.

I see three boys in a booth and I make eye contact with one of them, the weird thing is...I felt butterflies in my tummy. I've seen those eyes somewhere, he feels familiar which is of course impossible because I've never met these people in my entire life.

I've never had any guy friends at all. I've always thought about making my parents proud and everything so I focused on getting good scores on all my tests so that I could get into med school. This is all so new to me...having friends of the opposite species. I mean okay, I've watched rom-coms and movies that revolve around love, seeing your friends being treated the way I see couples act in the movies is something I never thought I would be interacting with boys at this point of my life.

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N!" I snap back to reality as Jennie calls my attention. "This is Jimin, Taehyung and the guy still sitting in the booth is Jungkook." Jungkook? I think I know a Jungkook from back home but it's still pretty hard to remember a lot of things. "Sorry, I'm being rude." Jungkook stood up and walked to me, "Jungkook." He held out a hand for me to shake, "Y/N." I say in reply. As our hands touch, there's a familiar warmth that gives me goosebumps. I quickly try to mask the reddness in my cheeks. We all take a seat in the booth and based on the impression of these boys, they seem like athletes. "Hey Y/N," Jimin says, "You should try their Bacon and Waffles here. They sell out like crazy in the mornings." I take a quick glance on the menu and scan quickly for the meal Jimin was talking about. I raise my hand excitedly to call in the waitress to take our orders, "1 Bacon and Waffles, 2 Pancakes and, 3 orders of the Waffles and Chicken all with Orange Juice on the side." The waitress says, "Thanks." I give her a smile in return.

I glance back at my friends after giving the waitress the menu I was holding, Jungkook and I make direct eye contact, his big brown doe eyes, another flood of goosebumps crawl on my skin as he turns away to talk to Taehyung. Why is it that Jungkook looks at me as if he’s seen me before?

The waitress returns with the orders and I start to take a bite off my first meal of the day.

“So Y/N, how was your first night in the city?” Taehyung asked as he picked a strawberry off one of the pancakes, “I stayed up in the balcony just looking at the city lights, the stars were very bright last night. I couldn’t stay up for so long though, it got really cold.” “Y/N loves gazing at stars, she used to try to make Jen and I see the stars in Busan every time we video called.” Lisa says giggling, Jimin gasps and turns to point at Jungkook while eating his waffle, “Jungkook used to drag us out of our homes just to meet at a park to stargaze!” Jungkook shyly looks away and takes a sip of his juice, “Yah” he finally speaks, “You make me sound like a really weird kid Hyung” I laugh at his statement, “Don’t be too embarrassed Kook, looking at the stars are my favorite past time” He tenses up with the nickname as he looks at me, I realize I just gave this guy a nickname on the first day we met. Shit. “Uh, is it okay that I call you Kook?” He nods in return as a smile crept onto his face.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ IWAIZUMI HAJIME BEING A DAD HEADCANONS! ❞

✎ . . . Herrroooo! 👋🏽 May I request a Baby daddy head canon (The “as dads” head canons lol) please? For Iwaizumi and Nishinoya please and thank you 💞 Love your writing too!!!

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

✎ . . . jae idk whether anyone has requested this but is it okay if i request for some iwaizumi and ushi dad HCs 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ur HCs make me SO soft and tbh i just wanna live in ur imaginations 😢💞

❝ ― submitted by @b0kuto <3 ❞

✎ . . . since you did oikawa as a dad, what about my boyfie iwachann?? and maybe how their kids will interact with each other, thank you if you ever consider💛

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ iwaizumi hajime <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA VERSION. ] [ BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATSUMU VERSION. ] [ KUROO TETSUROU & KOZUME KENMA HEADCANONS. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . happy 900 followers and happy birthday lizzie !! @kaidasen , i have two other iwaizumi hcs in my inbox and one being another dad req but not just general hcs and phew i'm tired

IWAIZUMI HAJIME.

➜ i'm not a s*mp but,,,

➜ i would glady offer him my hand in marraige

➜ you two weren't quick to settle down, since the both of you have been busy with your own jobs especially then, trying to survive a comitted long-distance relationship

➜ but now that it has been almost a year since you two got married, hajime knew he wanted to start a family with you

➜ and when i tell you that if MANS EVER EVEN THOUGHT of having children WITH YOU, you're in it for a long long run my love

➜ listen ─ iwa is a rational and decisive man, stubborn too, but overall thinks first before bringing these types lf serious stuff with you

➜ knowing that once you agree, mans will not be able to hold back anymore

➜ it was quite funny actually, since it has been a running joke between you two with your baby fever phase in high school that you soon grew out of when you attended collage.

➜ iwa used to relentlessly tease tf out of you but even then, he couldn't help but be the one that you want to have a child with

➜ now all the left over pride he has vanished away while he looks like a CLOWN as he nervously asked you about starting a family with him

➜ emodiment of👉👈😳🥺

➜ because now it was YOUR turn to tease tf out of him, payback bitch

➜ iwa : what if we . . start a family?? 😳👉👈 haha i'm joking . . . unless??

➜ you : it's funny how bitches turned into my fans💅💸

“ wow how the turn tables ”

“ baby girl, i don't think that's how it ─ ”

“ ─ aha simp ”

➜ but regardless, you immediately agreed to his offer and you BET that iwa would give you payback for all the teasing you have done in the bedroom

➜ ok bet fill me up to the brim sir

➜ okay um chile ,, i have to keep reminding of myself that this is a family friendly show

➜ he may be a little busy with work sometimes, but he'll always try to have time to go with you on your baby check ups and appointments which, he, actually booked the second you told him you were pregnant

➜ but whenever he doesn't, he would always be a lot more affectionate whenever he goes home to see you and would hear how you talk about updates from the doctor as he just RUBS YOUR TUMMY as he apologizes for not coming with you😭

➜ when you gave birth to a beautiful hanako, iwa couldn't help but cry because wow??YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL AND HE IS SO PROUD TO HAVE YOU AS HIS WIFE, AND YOU GAVE HIM THIS LOVELY MASTERPIECE OKAY AIGHT

➜ hajime didn't really care about gender now, but before he actually wanted a son, but as i said now, all his mind was just about you and your daughter ─ his precious girls

➜ besides, he has all the time in the world to make a son with you or two

➜ hanako, no matter how sweet she could be ─ she is lowkey a little shit too

➜ prefers hajime over you but would LOVE to rile him up and make it seem that she prefers you over him

➜ he would be a strict father, but such a softie for his daughter that he forgets why he even was mad when your daughter pulls up with THE TRUMP CARD with the same puppy eyes you always used on him

➜ like mans was already a goner but aight

➜ gets FLUSTERED AND EMBARESSED whenever hanako wants him to play with her with her dolls and he also has to act out with her lmao, but we all know she was doing it on purpose

➜ your daughter is a   s a d i s t

➜ makes her dad watch all the OLD barbie movies because she doesn't👏like👏the👏new👏ones👏

➜ periodt 😡💅

➜ has grown to LOVE the thought of being a princess AND HAJIME CALLS HER PRINCESS ALL THE TIME AHH

“ but daddy i'm a princess !! of course i need a prince ” hanako pouted as iwaizumi's tick mark just grew with the thought of his daughter having another boy in her life other than him ( and oikawa & perhaps future brothers😳 )

“ why would you need a prince when you already have your knight in shinning armor here, ” he gestured vigorously to himself with his hands moving up and down from his head to toe

“ oh yeah! i guess i'm okay with that ” your daughter giggled before calling out to you as she saw you coming into her line of sight, reaching her hands out for you to carry her

➜ and by the time you have her in your arms, she would always nuzzle her little head onto your neck, but this time, before he could, she looked back at her father ─ but this time with a mischievous glint

“ ─ for now ” she smiled cheekily before tugging you to head over to kitchen because one, she wants to get away from her father's intense aura emitting from him, and two, she was hungry

➜ as you can see, bb girl loves to rile up her father, but as i said, iwa could never stay mad for too long

➜ would, yes, kinda yell at his kids, but would NEVER EVER hit them

➜ would kinda BONK🔨💥 them but not the childhood traumatizing methods

➜ he has strong beliefs that hitting children are a no-go, because it would probably affect them in the future, and there are other, better and appropriate ways to handle them without leaving them in child trauma

➜ since argentina is close to california where you and iwa have settled down, you bet that oikawa BEGGED them to have a small little reunion atleast every other three months LMAO

➜ and when you gave birth to your son, hayato, oikawa's offer did not STOP, and when oikawa finally had the time to visit you guys with his family ─ it was chaotic.

➜ first of, hanako is so mean to oikawa for some reason but she also kinda likes him too?? 😭

➜ oikawa : that's so upsettin😔

➜ then moves to hayato because unLIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE, hayato being the precious bb boy he is, accepted all the love oikawa would give him

“ hana-chan, yahoo !! ” before uncle tooru could engulf hanako as he ran up to her with arms open wide, she avoided his figure as he went pass her and hit himself on a lampost

➜ with a blank stare, she crouched to his cowering figure as he rubbed the spot on his head that hit the post while whining, poking his side in curiousity.

“ uncle, are you alright ─ ”

“ ─ oi, shittykawa what are you doing ─ ”

➜ as you and your husband along with oikawa's wife and kids, run up to where the two duo were crouching, your toddler son tilted his head innocently

“ shittykawa . . . ? ”

➜ usually these reunion day would always end in traditional family dinner with the iwaizumis and the oikawas ─ and after that, their offsprings just couldn't get away from each other when it's time to go 🥺

“ i don't want them to leave :( ” hayato pouted as he wouldn't let go of his little tug on akiro's sweater

“ hana-chan !! ” hikaru clung onto hanako as hanako quietly glared at him, trying to shake him off while she shyly held onto akio as aiko starts scolding her little brother

➜ also side note : you bet that they would come back to japan just to attend aobajohsai

➜ anywh0res😍

➜ iwaizumi is the type of dad that would give EQUAL amounts of love to his children, would never have favouritism with his children because that shit actually hurts ngl😔

➜ would arm wRESTLE with hayato but he doesn't wanna hurt him so he would always let him win though it may cost his pride

➜ someone thirst with me about his arms please😭😭

➜ when he's soft'ish

➜ it was near father's day and you have been planning for it along with your children but you guys were anything BUT LOWKEY

➜ iwaizumi could literally hear giggling in one of the rooms and he goes to check it out and sees nodding vigorously at hayato.

➜ wanting to join in the fun, he opened the door and leaned onto the door frame expecting for you to call for him to join you guys

➜ but to his suprised, you guys stayed unusually quiet while your two kids avoided eye contact with him

➜ iwaizumi was upset being left out, but didn't really comment on it. but as father's day rolls in with your two kids waking him up as he goes down to the kitchen to see his favourite breakfast along with some cards from hanako and hayato, and with you smiling warmly at him as you took off your apron before kissing him a goodmorning in his cheeks ─ he knew it was worth it, whatever you guys were planning

“ ew, mommy kissed dada!! ” shrieked by your children as hajime stuck a tongue at them as he grinned at you, lovesick, before he could get to steal kiss on your lips, you pushed his head to look at the opposite side

“ brush your teeth first, and THEN, i will think about kissing you ”

[thebenzene]

4th of July

Everything was better in 2008. For the first time in six years, I had a younger sister — my one and only sibling. I was in second grade and I was the most obnoxious in the class. I always receive disciplinary letters from my teachers and my mom used to attend parent-teacher conferences because I was too loquacious and hyper. It was also the year I turned seven. My parents took me to a mall and bought me a Barbie doll. I still remember her appearance. She had a waist-length pony-tailed dark brown hair, blue eyes and dark pink lips, a pink jacket coated in fur sewn with a silvery tube beneath (both designed hanging like a crop top), a pair of pants that I don't know how to call (it fits the doll well from the hips to her knee and it goes baggy hanging until her mid-leg), and a pair of violet stilettos that I wished I had one in real life. I regret giving her top to my childhood friend and lending her violet shoes that my friend in Caloocan dropped in the drainage. I bring that doll with me, almost wherever I go. In the box were teeny-tiny accessories that I barely remember, her mini mirror  and the mini comb, and her pink long-sleeved dress (like the pink one in The Princess and The Pauper movie). For a young child like me, my parents bought me that box with the Barbie doll inside when we went at the Toy Kingdom at SM Fairview, because my parents love me — and so I took care of that doll well. I remember how simply that day went, but I was happy. My parents took me to an inflatable play area and I met a child around my age. I don't remember what we talked about. I can only remember the joy jumping inside the play area, the slide, the colorful small balls that you'll land on, and the plastic tree that's being inflated as well. Most importantly, I remember my mom taking video of me with her two megapixel Nokia Supernova phone. God, I wish we were able to keep the file. I was in second grade and I barely remember everything. Yet I am sure, I was definitely happier despite of being bullied almost everyday. It was the year two thousand and eight when my dad subscribed to a pirated Dream TV Cable. The package pretty much came with a hacked card, a satellite, and a tv box where you insert the card and do the settings and stuff. I remember watching Tom & Jerry and the show that scared me truly called Courage the Cowardly Dog during the weekdays after coming home from school. My parents were strict (and still are, for the record). I only got an hour to watch everyday and so I had to remind myself. The tv was situated in my room. Using my red Artline and black Pilot markers, I write on the wall of my room the time I'm supposed to turn off the tv. For example, I started watching at 2:08 pm, I had to turn the tv off at 3:08. Well, I could confidently tell I was a straightass obedient kid at a point in my life. My dad would tune into History Channel after eating dinner. Watching tv after coming home from a long exhausting day of working at Valenzuela became his routine. I remember clearly when we were watching an episode about Berlin, Germany. I asked him, "Tatay, ano 'yung Berlin Wall at bakit may mga kwarto sa ilalim?". Then he explained about the World War 2, the East and West Germany, and the escape tunnels beneath the Berlin Wall. Back in that year, we had no internet connection (just the computer and printer that my parents use in their business) so knowing new pieces of info from the television (that are always elaborated by my dad because I was six) always leave me with amazement.

I miss watching episodes from the Living Asia Channel with my mom. It was a channel featuring wonderful places in Asia. I thought Laos was the Capital of Myanmar because I've read "Laos, Myanmar" in one of their trailers. When we studied geography later in elementary, that's where I realized that the trailer was about Laos and Myanmar and these two are different countries. I also remember watching tv shows back in the day from this channel called Flip TV. I had watched episodes from Buddy n Sol, John en Marsha, Ready na Direk (Herbert Bautista's peak years haha), Barangay Unang Sigaw (the sitcom where I was only familar of Ruby Rodriguez from Eat Bulaga, I still remember the theme song of the show), and some of the old movies that have provinces in the Philippines in their titles.

I miss 2008. I miss my mom buying me sleeveless undershirts printed with Dora and Boots and my name on the chest part of each one. I miss borrowing my mom's phone to take selfies and play games. I miss playing the song entitled Centre of Nowhere by Ladybug Mecca, the default song saved in all the Nokia Supernova phones. I miss 8.8.8. I remember my dad who went home proudly after buying a pair of brown sneakers from a thrift shop for only eight pesos. I can still recall how happy he was. I remember how my mom that I don't know for what reason, was sent an MMS (multimedia message) that has a 26-second clip of Ogie Alcasid's Kung Sakali song. I believe it was for a ring back tone, something you'll hear when someone tries to call you. I think it's just stupid and useless, they may have had a user-recorded voice but offered the song instead. I don't know if the voice status was already a thing before. One thing I'm sure is my mom laughed at that song every time I play it, calling it "kanta yan ng tatay mo sa girlfriend niya dati". hahaha.

I can't believe I spent more than an hour writing this. Thinking of all the memories makes me feel sad and old. It has been thirteen years and I could tell I had a great childhood (minus the bullying and the corporal punishment part). If I can only turn back time just for a second, I will go back to 2008. I miss the year 2008, the year when I wasn't thinking of the past nor the future. I could only care about my family, our tv, and my classmates. I still remember my reaction when I saw my little sister for the first time. My mom was in our Toyota Tamaraw AUV beside the driver's seat after my dad fetched me from a family friend where I stayed when they were in the hospital. For the first time, I saw an infant being caressed by my mom — and it was my sister.

2008 wasn't perfect but it certainly was the year when I was awarely the happiest.

[wii-nter]

Prompts

Person A is a soldier, Person B works at a bakery. Person B starts sending Person A letters talking to them about their lives and asking questions about theirs. After months of talking, Person A and Person B realize that they live in the same area. A week later, Person A's bunk mate, Person C, tells Person B that they've gone missing. After two months of sorrow, Person A walks in Person B's bakery and casually asks for cookies while Person B gets hit with the realization train and begins crying and hugging the living daylights out of Person A

"Wait wait wait wait nononono I didn't mean to shoot you I was aiming for the guy behind you and oh my God please don't die I'm so sorry don't die please"

"HOLY SHIT WOMAN DON'T SHOOT ME"

Person A and Person B are best friends but have feelings for eachother. Their conversation begins with how Person A likes the cafe down the street and how Person B thinks the cafe across the street is better. It quickly becomes an argument and Person B accidentally asks Person A out on a date

"You're really important to me, so I swear if you kill yourself I will jump off a 24 floor building and kill myself then beat the shit out of you as a ghost and then bring us back to life just to see you smile and laugh at how ridiculous this whole thing is, so don't kill yourself please"

I work at that cafe you always go to and I'm too nervous to go up and talk to you but holy shit your coming towards me and I don't know what to say AU

Person A's date ditches them at the theaters before the movie begins. Since Person A had bought the tickets, they still go in to watch it. When they realize that it's a horror movie, they have no choice but to suffe- wait. During a jump scare, Person A ends up grabbing Person B's hand- a stranger

"I swear to fucking god if you waste those chicken wings im going to murder you in your sleep- aaannnndddd im gonna go get ready to kill a bitch brb"

Were in 8th grade and I see you sitting with my friends so i join you guys and I realize that you guys are talking about how putting their leg on somebody's lap shall be considered rape and then you trap my legs between yours and i begin squirming then somebody says "it seems ___ would be bottom and ___ would be top" and now wtf do we say

"so WHAT if dragons are mythical creatures? you don't see me insulting your creepy Barbie doll head collection now do you"

The princess falls in love with the dragon instead of the prince AU

You're mom just passed away and now you're really sad but I don't know what to do but I really want to comfort you also so I end up saying the first thing that comes to my mind and that is 'Can I kiss you' and now you suddenly stopped crying am I jesus

Person A burns down their house because they suck at cooking. They live with Person B until they get a new home. Person A starts falling in love with Person B, but Person B is confident they're just friends so they've been looking a house for Person A. The day Person A decides to confess, Person B comes up to them saying that they found and apartment for them.

"holy fucking christ im able to murder someone with a smoothie blender?"

There's this lady giving us a presentation about anxiety disorders and then she starts explaining how our brain works like hamsters on wheels the one kid stands up and yells "SO THAT'S WHY MICHEAL'S RETARTED, HIS FRICKIN HAMSTERS DIED!" and then we hear the softest whisper in the back of the room "they haven't been working for five years, john"

"what do you mean I need to sleep? what I need to do is kill this fuckING DRAGON THAT KEEPS ATTACKING ME FOR THE PAST SEVEN HOURS HOLD ON ONE FUCKING MINUTE"

One day I walk in the bookstore to buy my friend a new book and then I see a cutie but wait a minute your in my science class so I pretend to not notice you but holy shit your really adorable so I come back the next day to see you there again and this goes on for a few weeks before I decide to go talk to you but then you trip and luckily I manage to catch you and the first thing I say to you is "I think you might've just fallen for me"

Person B has had a crush on Person A for a long time now. Person A is obsessed with chemistry and anime, something they and Person B have in common. Person A finds themselves becoming friends with Person B and keeps rambling about chemistry but Person B can't understand a thing because of the different words but they don't care because they think they're really cute. After gathering the courage, Person B decides to go ask Person A out on a date but Person A is already being asked out. During the weekend, Person B "stalks" Person A on their date and realize the person they're hanging out with is a real douchebag and doesn't give a crap about their interests and constantly flirts and Person B realizes they only wanted to fuck Person A. Person B walks in the cafe they're in casually before going over to Person A's table and started telling chemistry puns that made Person A giggle once or twice. Person A's date ends up leaving and Person B gets to hang out with Person B for the rest of the day.

"I'm overreacting?! Jesus Christ woman, YOU GOT ALMOST RAN OVER BY A CAR HOW CAN I BE CALM!"

"Please smile again- it makes my heart all warm and fuzzy and it's weird but I like it"

"You can put a gun to my throat and I still won't say anything, but I swear to fucking god if you don't put that relish on the steak I'm going to sell you my soul and tell you everything"